308. A Xylophone For Jandek

Lords: * John * Avery * Jay Topics: * Being known for one thing and trying to do a different thing * https://jtholen.bandcamp.com/album/new-active-object * Finding instruments on the street * Accidentally arguing with sauna guy Microtopics: * Many-Time Topic Lord John Mystery. * Talking the plunge into the Topic Lords discord. * An unspoken constant presence like Seymour Glass in the Glass Family novels. * The Once and Future Musician. * Putting a formant filter on your organ so you can play the organ on Zoom. * Why pouring hot water sounds different from pouring cold water. * The sound of boiling hot urine. * The top rated coffee shop in San Francisco on Yelp for seven months in a row. * Remaining your coffee shop after Mark Zuckerberg in hopes that he'll show up in person. * Trying to open up a coffee shop in late 90s San Francisco and only realizing too late that it's 2016. * ADA compliant seating. * Four-person episodes of Topic Lords. * A 6'5" guy trying to barter a half-used spray paint can for a cup of coffee. * The Menacing Barterer. * Aggressive Wimpy gladly paying you tomorrow for a hamburger today or else. * Aggressive Wimpy throwing a shoe at your espresso machine. * Your car accidentally becoming an art car. * Letting people spray paint your car until it's nothing but spray paint. * Calling 911 and explaining that the guy menacing you needs marijuana. * Being detained by Mark Zuckerberg's private security force. * Living near Mark Zuckerberg's house so you can do whatever your fixation with Mark Zuckerberg is. * Aggressive Barter Guy trying to barter a Porsche for a cup of coffee. * The $6 Porsche. * Tholen or Tholen. * A prog album constructed from Klik n Play samples. * When someone who does I've things decides to do something else. * The Mountain Goats novelizations. * Leonard Cohen's terrible poetry. * Thinking a song is deeply meaningful until you read the lyrics. * New Active Object. * Lunch Music. * Doing a thing for a long time and getting good at it. * Who has time to read a novel? * Having Game Boys Advance but still reading books sometimes. * Telling your teacher that you need to go to your job at NASA and they're like "oh you must be doing something important over there" * Working in the waterslide industry. * The Joy of Being the Secrets Guy. * Reading too much into it is the next Frog Fractions game. * Admitting to your wife that you found a digital piano on the curb. * The digital piano in the background of the Frog Fractions 2 pitch video. * Walking by a theremin at a party and it chirps at you like a proximity car alarm. * The Moog Etherwave. * Staring at your broken Omnichord. * A toddler whose first word is "mandolin." * Living Out Yonder. * The Roland Space Echo. * A cassette tape except there isn't any cassette, the tape is just kind of wriggling around in there. * Buying synthesizers from thrift shops that don't know how to tell whether synthesizers are broken. * The Two Organs Behind Me. * Ukelins. * Zither-esques. * Dulcimers vs. hammered dulcimers. * Looping your song and picking the notes that kind of sound like they belong. * A Xylophone For Jandek. * Feeling like you're taking to extremely accomplished people and you're just a weird little guy. * Who Is Sauna Guy?? * Stuck debating sauna guy while the venerated author with similar interests to yours is holding court in the next room. * Physics Philosophy guy talking about physics and philosophy. * An hour into the conversation, telling Sauna Guy that you don't even like being warm and he just stares at you. * The new way to joke about forum URLs. * Back when the Internet was full of exciting possibilities. * What topics turn you into Sauna Guy. * David Byrne sitting alone at the David Byrne art exhibit in Palo Alto. * We're All Sauna Guy Now. * Voting each other off the podcast. * Lightning round sudden death topics. * When the sunscreen finally makes it onto your cornea. * Not having a home page again but meaning to someday.