Welcome to Episode 33 of Touched Out: A Mental Health and Parenting Support Podcast!
In this episode, I sit down with my longtime friend JB, a successful tattoo artist, to discuss his extraordinary journey from our teenage years working at Kmart in Bendigo to becoming a business owner and devoted family man.
Join us as JB opens up about:
Tattooing and Creativity: How JB's chaotic upbringing and punk rock influences led him to a career in tattooing, marked by resilience and artistic expression.
Blended Family Dynamics: Insights into navigating life with his fiancée Karley, her daughter Dolly, his son Wyatt, and their shared son Silas, including the emotional challenges of co-parenting and maintaining positive relationships with ex-partners.
Overcoming Personal Challenges: JB's candid reflections on battling depression and substance abuse, and his journey toward personal growth and emotional healing.
Through heartfelt stories and raw honesty, this episode is a testament to the enduring power of friendship and mutual support. As we recount the highs and lows of JB's journey, we hope to inspire listeners with tales of resilience, the importance of prioritizing children's needs, and the pursuit of happiness in a life filled with love, creativity, and unwavering support.
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Stay tuned for more insights, tips, and personal stories on parenting and mental health. Thanks again for listening and keep on keeping on!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
We would like to acknowledge the traditional
custodians of this land we payour respects to the Elders, past
, present and emerging, for theyhold the memories, the
traditions and the culture ofthe Aboriginal and Torres Strait
Islander people across thenation.
Warning this podcast containsexplicit language and discusses
(00:22):
sensitive topics related tomental health childhood trauma,
birth trauma, abuse, miscarriageand suicide.
Listener discretion is advised.
If you find these subjectsdistressing or triggering, we
recommend taking caution andconsidering whether to proceed
with listening.
If you or someone you know isstruggling, please reach out to
a mental health professional ora trusted individual for support
(00:43):
.
Your wellbeing is our priority.
Hello and welcome to anotherepisode of Touched Out.
I'm your host, Carter, andtoday I speak to an old friend
of mine, JB.
Jb and I discuss our early daysof working at Kmart together at
16 years old, going throughschool together, and JB's
remarkable journey as a tattooartist.
We also discuss JB's blendedfamily, which consists of JB,
(01:07):
his fiancee Carly, her daughterDolly, which they co-parent,
together with Carly's ex-partner, JB's son Wyatt and their boy
Silas.
If you enjoyed today's episode,please like, follow, subscribe,
share and all of that on yourfavorite podcast platform and
keep on keeping on no, life'sbeen tough, so take a breath
(01:33):
from everything right here.
Speaker 3 (01:36):
Take some time, it's alright, you'll be fine.
The Touchdown Podcast Take allnight, you'll be fine, it's
(02:02):
alright.
Speaker 1 (02:19):
The Touchdown Podcast .
Oldest friends, we grew uptogether in Bendigo, had our
first jobs together at Kmart,and JB has reached out to come
onto the podcast today to sharean incredibly hectic journey.
So first of all, thanks forcoming on, mate.
I really appreciate your time.
Speaker 2 (02:40):
No stress bro.
Speaker 1 (02:41):
Super excited to get into it.
So why don't you tell us alittle bit about yourself, a
little bit about your family,and we'll go from there?
Speaker 2 (02:49):
So my name's Jared, I'm 36 years old, I live in
Bendigo, I own a business inBendigo and I'm a tattooist.
I've got my fiancée, carly.
She is also a small businessowner, she owns a barbershop,
works out of a barbershop here,and together we have three kids.
(03:11):
So Carly's got a nine-year-olddaughter.
That's my stepdaughter.
Her name's Dolly.
I have a seven-year-old boy,his name's Wyatt, and together
we have a three-year-old boycalled.
Speaker 1 (03:23):
Silas, awesome.
So why don't you tell me alittle bit about your history,
as in like how you grew up andany sort of significant events
that happened throughout yourlife?
Speaker 2 (03:39):
So growing up it was me and my little brother Rhys.
My parents were separated andwe sort of moved around
throughout Bendigo quite a lot.
We've been in a lot ofdifferent houses.
We were sort of never really ina house for longer than a year
or two.
We lived with our grandparentson and off and we spent every
(04:02):
other weekend with our dad, sortof my oldest brother.
He was here sort of momentarilyon and off.
He lived with us.
Then he wouldn't live with usand then he would sort of stay
with us on the weekends and thenhe wouldn't and that kind of
stuff.
He sort of stayed in meltonquite often with his dad, lived
with him.
Speaker 1 (04:23):
So he was your half-brother, wasn't he?
Speaker 2 (04:24):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I don't really have many memories
from being a child that I cansort of look back on and think
that that's significant in thesense of being happy or sort of,
you know, being miserable.
It was sort of all just hectic.
I feel like life has justalways been hectic.
(04:46):
Hectic in what way?
Just in there's alwayssomething going on.
Yeah, always there was.
I know I can never really lookback on anything and be like, oh
, there was a moment there wherethere wasn't chaos or, you know
, we really sort of got to sitback and take a breath or
anything like that.
And I feel like that'sresonated into my life as an
(05:08):
adult.
And yeah, there's never really,even now, like just when we
think we're catching our breathand we get, you know, a moment
or two, something happens andit's just like, bam, well, now
we've got to deal with this andI guess that's just life, like
that's just how it is witheveryone.
But it's sort of like you gotwo weeks and without there
(05:30):
being an incident and you'relike, oh, this is all right, and
then bam, something happens.
Speaker 1 (05:35):
I feel like we're always treading water.
Speaker 2 (05:37):
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (05:39):
Yeah, I feel that.
Yeah, so, as I said, we meteach other when we were 16, our
first jobs at Kmart.
I'll just tell you kind of myopinion and everything of how I
saw you when we kind of firstmet and started kind of going
(06:00):
through school together andstuff.
I remember meeting you andinstantly thinking that you were
the type of person that Ireally, really wanted to be.
I always remembered that.
I don't know I don't know why,but I was just like he's just,
he's just a fucking cool cat,like I always thought it.
And I remember when I was justfeeling really really lost,
(06:24):
especially in high school, whenwe went to bendigo senior
together, we had media classtogether and, um, I just
remember being like I'm fuckingso glad that I've got class with
him because he's just fuckingcool.
And, uh, you burnt me two cdsused, the used in love and death
and thursday full collapse, andthey still to this day, remain
(06:49):
to be two of my favorite albumsof all time.
Absolutely, I don't know why.
I was just like, fuck man, he'sjust the coolest dude and it's.
It's really weird because youyou filled out the form last
night to give me a little bit ofbackground on on your life and,
like reading through it, I wasjust like holy shit, it's so
(07:09):
weird to to know someone forsuch a long time but to know so
little about them, theirpersonal life and the struggles,
and it's.
It really really just goes toshow that that there's so many
people in this world where youcan just you can see only the
surface and they're calm calm asfuck and everything's all g,
(07:32):
but underneath those little legsare kicking fucking dear life.
Speaker 2 (07:36):
Absolutely, bro, and that's that's the.
That's just the way I've alwaysI've always dealt with shit.
I suppose, like it's always, Inever want what's going on with
me to be a burden for anyoneelse.
So I know it's like the typicalstigma that people have on men,
where you know they don't liketo talk about anything or
anything like that.
(07:57):
It's not that I don't want totalk about it, it's just that I
don't want to burden anyone withmy problems.
Like they're my problems and Ishould be able to face them
alone.
But that's not the case, like,and it's something like I really
struggle with being able toopen up and, yeah, like, I've
always been that way, even likeyounger, like skateboarding and
(08:22):
playing music and stuff likethat.
That was sort of an outlet withme because I could just thrash,
like I could just, you know, Icould just let myself go.
Speaker 1 (08:34):
Yeah, I mean you've been a tattooist, for we're 36
now, so you've been a tattooistsince you were 18, pretty
correct 20, 20.
20.
Yeah, so 16 years, that's halfyour life, your life, yeah would
you say that that is yourbiggest outlet?
Speaker 2 (08:49):
for me now.
For me now it is, yeah, likenot necessarily tattooing itself
, but it's more the more likethe, the flash and painting and
all that sort of stuff.
Speaker 1 (09:06):
Yeah, funnelling your emotions through your art.
Speaker 2 (09:10):
Yeah, and like, at the moment I'm working on just
like a line book and it's juststuff that I want to tattoo.
But I've found that it's beenquite therapeutic for me to do,
because I can sit there and Ijust will start drawing and I
kind of zone out for an hour,hour and a half and it's like,
well, where did that time go?
Like, and the thing is, I'm noteven thinking about anything in
(09:31):
particular other than what I'vegot to do, and it's sort of
nice, that's your way ofcatching your breath.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (09:37):
Because it's just.
Everything else is drowned out.
Yeah, yeah, awesome.
So we'll talk a little bitabout how you got into tattooing
and why, you decided that thatcareer resonated best with you.
Speaker 2 (09:55):
Oh, I was always around it growing up, like my
mum getting tattooed, havingtattoos, everything going with
her while she would get tattooed, like me and my little brother,
and just being around herfriend's place just looking
through tattoo magazines andeverything like that.
It was just something that wewere always around and it just
(10:17):
always stuck with me and Ialways drew.
I was always creative as achild and then, you know, I
started playing punk rock and Iwas like, well, this is just,
it's just where the where, wherethe road leads me.
I suppose like it's justinevitable for me to go down
that path and like got my firsttattoo when I was 17 and then,
(10:42):
and that just solidified thefact for me that that's what I
wanted to do.
I always sort of wanted to doit, but from that moment I knew
that that's what I wanted to doand I sort of didn't.
Really, I didn't give up, Ididn't stop until I got my
apprenticeship and then that's.
The rest is history.
Speaker 1 (11:01):
Now I remember and forgive me if my memory is wrong
, but I remember that you hadyour apprenticeship but you
ended up going out on your ownbefore you'd finished it.
Speaker 2 (11:11):
I feel like you got your own business and was just
like I'm gonna fucking do thisregardless nah, so I did finish
my apprenticeship and then sortof I went to Adelaide and then
sort of went on a road trip withmy family and then it was good,
because that sort of gave me alot of time to think and as much
(11:34):
as where I did myapprenticeship like he's a great
bloke and we still havecommunications, but we just had
very different mindsets.
So when we got back I was sortof like all right, well, this is
sort of what I'm going to donow, and then yeah, Just after
the races yeah.
Speaker 1 (11:52):
I remember you in your first shop just above the
whole, above, like Toy World orsomething like that, yeah, yeah.
Through the alleyway.
You tattooed me and myex-missus and now you tattoo me
and my wife.
You've really come up and like,yeah, you've, yeah, you've seen
me grow up and become a dad andall of this throughout like
(12:13):
just my tattooing journey aswell yeah, which is pretty cool.
It's awesome that we've beenable to stay in contact and
somewhat close, absolutely, bro,absolutely yeah definitely so
we'll, we'll get into yourfamily.
How did you meet carly, and howlong have you guys been together
?
Speaker 2 (12:32):
so I met carly through, I suppose I suppose I
would say through work, like I,she wasn't a client of mine, she
would.
She'd come into the work, shewould get tattooed off one of
the blokes in there and, likeyou know, it wasn't something
that sort of hit straight awayor anything like we were.
(12:52):
Just we were friends from there, like we talk and everything
like that.
And then it sort of wasn'tuntil like a couple of years
after we first sort of thatanything happened between us.
Because she, when she wasgetting tattooed in my shop, she
like she had a partner at thetime, like I had a partner as
(13:14):
well, so like it was justnothing to it there.
And then, yeah, a couple yearslater we were both, we were both
single and just I don't know,like a bucket, it just sort of
blossomed from there.
And then so we've been togetherfor five years now, engaged,
yeah, three kids in the processof buying a house.
(13:39):
It's just it's awesome yeah,yeah, I'm happy for you.
Speaker 1 (13:43):
Thanks bro.
I love Carly.
She's a great chick yeah she'sawesome.
So you stepped into thatrelationship with Carly and
Carly had Dolly, yeah, yeah, soyou are Dolly's stepdad, yeah,
and you are also all very, veryclose with Carly's biological
(14:08):
dad.
Speaker 2 (14:09):
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (14:11):
So you guys are all friends and it's all just this
nice working unit.
Speaker 2 (14:16):
Yeah, mate, it's awesome, it's unreal, I suppose,
for anyone that could be inthis position being like a
stepfather or a stepmother oranything like that having a
relationship like this with thechild's other parent is feel
essential, like it's great.
(14:37):
It's not, you know, it's notalways rainbows and sunshine,
but it does make things a loteasier and it's awesome rainbows
and sunshine, but it it doesmake things a lot easier and
it's awesome like just just tobe able to be friends.
I feel like that that benefitsdolly quite a lot oh, yeah, yeah
, I think.
Speaker 1 (14:56):
I think that that that kind of blended family um
where exes or biological parentsare still able to be in the
picture and there's no kind oflike jealousy or toxicity or
anything like that.
It really is a testament to thecare for the dog Absolutely,
and putting that over yourselvesor your policies or
(15:19):
insecurities or anything.
Is that something you wanted tobe up?
Speaker 2 (15:22):
No, not at all, not at all Like at the end of the
day.
We've wanted to be up.
No, not at all.
Not at all Like at the end ofthe day.
We've got to be happy in ourrelationship, but at the same
time we've got to also make surethat the kids are happy and the
kids are getting what they needso we'll talk a little bit now
about why it, why it is sevenand why it was.
Speaker 1 (15:43):
Uh well, is your child from a previous
relationship?
Um, now you've told me thestory through the form last
night and my jaw was justfucking on the floor the entire
time.
Yeah, it's quite a harrowingjourney.
So take your time and and, uh,run us, run us through.
Why Wyatt's history?
Speaker 2 (16:02):
All right.
So I guess this can sort ofstem back.
So Wyatt's mother and I wedidn't have a relationship as
such.
We sort of, obviously we hungout a couple of times and then,
nine months later, had a littleboy.
Then, nine months later, had alittle boy and then sort of
(16:25):
spending time with wire.
And then, sort of just afterhis first birthday, we started
doing mediation so we couldsolidify a routine and a
schedule to just to havesomething in place for me
spending time with him.
And the mediators appointed usa DNA test I'm not sure why, but
(16:45):
so we did it and the resultscame back that he was not my son
.
So at that point in time allcommunication was cut off
between Dwight's mother and Iand it was sort of I was grief
stricken, I was like I just Ijust yeah, I just lost my little
(17:05):
boy that's how it felt to meLike it was just just gone and I
was confused.
I was very confused and it wasone of the first conversations I
actually had.
Proper conversations I had withCarly was like a week after I
got those results.
I was talking to her at thefront of the shop and telling
her about it and she justcouldn't believe it.
(17:26):
And then that sort of spiraledme out of control.
I guess you could say I didn'tknow.
I felt like I what did I do todeserve this?
Like why, where's he gone?
(17:46):
Like what can I do?
And there was nothing I coulddo, like we had a bit of paper
that said that he wasn't mine,so there was nothing I could do.
I just had to let it go.
But in doing so, it just changedme.
It put me in this dark pitwhere I just felt worthless.
(18:08):
I felt like I was not goodenough.
I was like I just couldn't getout of it.
I just abused anything thatwould make me feel better, and I
found it hard.
I found it really hard to work.
I found it really hard to getout, feel better, and I found it
hard.
I found it really hard to work.
I found it really hard to getout of bed.
I found it.
I found it hard to do anything.
It was I don't know, I just Ieven looking back on that time,
(18:32):
like I just look back on who Iwas and I can't even, I can't
even see myself when I look atthat person.
And then this continued on forquite a while until I met Carly
and she helped me put the piecesback together.
She made me realize that Ideserve to be happy.
(18:55):
I just have to move past it.
I just have to move past it andI did.
I got the help.
I was medicated, and then Ididn't like.
I didn't like being medicated,I didn't like who.
I didn't like feeling numb, Ididn't like feeling like I was
just just a person existingeither so I was quite the same
(19:18):
with medication.
Speaker 1 (19:19):
I'm guessing it was like antidepressants you were on
.
Speaker 2 (19:22):
Yeah, antidepressants , any anxieties?
Speaker 1 (19:25):
I fucking hated them.
Yeah bro, I hated feeling likethere was stuff that I should be
sad about, but I didn't feelany way about them.
Speaker 2 (19:35):
Yeah, exactly.
It made me feel like less of aDude.
Same, exactly the same, and Iwas.
It was so shit like you,because you can sit there and
you can talk to yourself and youcan be like, all right, like
this, this is it, but you'rejust emotionless yeah, I think.
Speaker 1 (19:56):
I think antidepressants are great and
this is just my personalexperience.
Obviously everyone'sexperiences are different but
antidepressants are great forwhen there's like a need to
balance those chemical levels,yeah, kind of be baseline.
But when there's specifictraumas and specific things that
you're going through, I don'tthink it's highly helpful to
(20:20):
numb.
Speaker 2 (20:21):
No.
Speaker 1 (20:21):
Numb those feelings.
Those feelings are all a partof healing.
Speaker 2 (20:25):
Yeah, feel to heal.
Speaker 1 (20:27):
Yeah, you can't heal if you can't fucking heal.
Speaker 2 (20:29):
No, not at all, not at all.
But yeah, and then, sort oftime progressed, I got a hell of
a lot better and it was justnice having, I sort of suppose,
like a void was filled, like Iwas in a happy, loving
relationship, you know, and Iwas happy, I was genuinely happy
, you know, for once, finally,and you know, doing everything I
(20:53):
could for Dolly.
And then we got pregnant and wehad Silas and that just filled
my heart with just so much loveand happiness that just it
changed me and I feel like it'sgenuinely just a huge pivotal
(21:13):
point in my life where I juststepped up, like I just stepped
out and I just sort of was likeno, well, this is who I am and
this is what I've got to do,this is the dad I'm going to be,
and then that's what I've done.
I show up for Dolly and Silasevery day, I show up for Carly
(21:35):
every day, for Carly every day.
And then, in March 2022, I got aphone call from one of my
friends and my little brotheralso, just ringing me to tell me
that there'd been an accidentand that Wyatt's mum had passed
(21:55):
away in a car accident the nightbefore.
And I was sadden, sad, and Iwas shocked.
You know she was part of mypuzzle, you know part of my life
in a sense.
You know might not have been agood memory but still.
And then one of Carly's friendsknew her.
His little sister was friendswith it and he sort of passed on
(22:20):
a message to us that shethought that Wyatt was still
mine and we were sort of takenby it because there had been
years of no communication.
Speaker 1 (22:33):
Yeah, and the test as well.
Speaker 2 (22:35):
And the test as well.
So I sort of waited, waited alittle like a little bit, but
there's only so long you canwait.
Like I know, the family wasgrieving and I didn't want to be
what was the word?
I didn't want to.
Like make it about you yeah.
Yeah, exactly Exactly.
But I just wanted to let themknow what I'd heard.
And because of what I'd heard,it led me and Kylie to do some
(22:59):
research on this company that wedid the DNA test through and it
turned out that they had becomequite reputable for false
results and mishandlingpaternity tests, dna tests, and
that there was other people thatwere you know like, looking
into them.
(23:19):
So I reached out to her familyand said that this were you know
like looking into them.
So I reached out to her familyand said that this is you know,
this is what I've heard.
They were quiet, you know, theyweren't.
They didn't shut me down.
They were quite accepting ofthe fact that I had reached out
to them.
I didn't put any pressure onthem whatsoever.
We had to go throughmagistrates and solicitors and
(23:41):
everything like that to be ableto get appointed another DNA
test.
But, long story short, we gotthe DNA test done.
The results took a little whileand they had to be very careful
with Wyatt taking him to gethis DNA done.
(24:01):
Obviously, he'd just lost hismother.
He was very fragile.
He is very fragile and he wasvery confused as to you know
everything.
He hadn't been told anythingyet, but they still had to be
very weary and we got theresults back.
He had 99.9% paternalprobability that he was my child
.
Like, I still remember openingthat letter and just like and
(24:25):
that was in, so this March wasaccident.
We got the results back inOctober 2022.
And then I just remember openingthat letter.
I'm like Carly and I werestanding in the kitchen and I
just opened it and I just brokedown.
I was so angry that these yearshad been taken away from him.
(24:49):
You know, like I was moresaddened for him.
And then I was angry at thiscompany about.
You know, how could they dothis?
Like, how can they do this topeople and how can they get away
with it?
And they're still getting awaywith it, but there's nothing
that I can do about it.
They're an overseas company andno one here wants to touch it.
(25:12):
And then I was just taken overby well, I've got my little boy
back.
You know it's going to be along road, but, like, I've got
my little boy back and we'll beable to get there.
Speaker 1 (25:32):
So how long between the tests was that?
Speaker 2 (25:36):
Six years.
Speaker 1 (25:38):
Formative fucking years too, man.
Speaker 2 (25:40):
Yeah, yeah, I formative fucking years too, man
.
So yeah, yeah, I can't evenimagine there's moments in those
six years where I was like shit, I didn't even think I was
going to see the next day, youknow, like there was days where
I would just lay in bed and I'djust convince myself.
Well, myself, well, you know, Ithink today's the day if this
(26:04):
is life, I don't want it.
Speaker 1 (26:05):
Huh yeah, exactly, bro, in there, brother, dark
isn't it?
Speaker 2 (26:09):
yeah, it's dark, it is so dark and he's so it's
fucking dark.
But yeah, and then he it was.
So we got the result back.
Then we had to go, we had tosort of go and figure out.
I had to figure out with whyit's arnie and his grandma, um,
(26:29):
how, how were we going to tacklethis?
With why, like, how were theygoing to let him know?
Because he just thought that hedidn't have a dad, so he had no
memory of you.
No, he had no memory of me,like there's photos and stuff,
but he, he, he had no memory ofme.
So they just let him know.
(26:50):
They were just like look, we've, we found your dad.
Do you want to meet him?
And he just said no.
He was like no, I think I'mokay and you know like, well,
that broke my heart.
But at the same time, like I'mlike all right, well, that's
fine.
Like when and if he decidesthat he does want to meet me,
(27:12):
like this is where I'll be.
And then later on that day Igot a phone call and he'd been
asking some questions and he haddecided that he did want to
meet me again and that he wantedto meet me tomorrow, like the
next day.
Speaker 1 (27:28):
Yeah right.
Speaker 2 (27:29):
So like that was.
I just can't explain thefeeling of meeting him again
that day, thank you so much.
And then, yeah, now it's justfull steam ahead Again that day,
thank you so much.
And then, yeah, now it's justfull steam ahead.
He lives with his grandparentsand we get him every Tuesday
night for tea, and then everysecond Sunday and then every
(27:51):
Saturday that we don't have himon the Sunday, and it's just
like he, it's just now, it'sjust like he was never not there
, like Silas loves his bigbrother, dolly loves their
little brother, and it's awesome.
Speaker 1 (28:07):
Got this perfect family now.
Speaker 2 (28:09):
Yeah, yeah, it's great.
Speaker 1 (28:14):
Beautiful.
Well, it's a fucking rocky roadto get to where you're going,
but I'm glad you're there.
Speaker 2 (28:23):
Thanks, bro, it's hard to talk about, you know
like yeah, yeah, it's very hardto talk about.
Speaker 1 (28:33):
I don't doubt it, and I think it's amazing that you
have decided to come on heretoday to talk about it, because
these types of stories, theyhappen to people.
Yeah, that's it.
And if it's someone that'sgoing through it and they hear
this, they feel a little lessalone in the world.
Yeah, that's the magic ofputting things out there and
(28:58):
being, hey, I'm fucking okay,this is what everyone has a
story and everyone feels liketheir stories are so
insignificant because they feellike they don't matter you
fucking yeah that's it youmatter, you always have and you
always will you matter to people.
So is there any kind of plans onhaving Wyatt full-time in the
(29:21):
future?
Speaker 2 (29:22):
Look, he's his own person, he's quite.
I would never want to take himaway from any situation or you
know anywhere that he's happyand he's quite happy.
If one day he decides that hewants to come and live with us,
then my arms will be open.
(29:43):
But you know, I feel, I feelthat they might come.
I feel like it also may not,because you know he's got a,
he's got a really good familyunit on their side as well and
you know he's he, he's it's freefor him to make his own mind up
, you know.
Speaker 1 (30:02):
And.
I think that's the best way togo about it anyway, right.
Speaker 2 (30:05):
Absolutely, bro.
Absolutely Like.
Speaker 1 (30:08):
If you know, if I was forced to stay somewhere when I
was a child, I know the damnwell, like that's where I didn't
want to be yeah, I, um, I wentthrough like custody battles as
a kid and shit and I just like Iwould have been around about
wyatt's age around seven, six orseven going to court and having
(30:29):
to get up on the stand andfucking say who I wanted to live
with.
I didn't remember this distinctfeeling of feeling like a puppet
and I didn't have any words todescribe it.
But I knew that the fightingbattle wasn't about me.
It wasn't about what I wanted,it was about what they fucking
(30:50):
yeah, I remember it just fuckinghit me, it made me angry to
think that I would be used thatway.
Yeah, so so the fact thatyou're like, yeah whatever he
wants is what will happen.
That's perfect.
It's such a great, great thingto see so many people our age
and kind of the newergenerations doing things so
(31:13):
differently.
Yeah, making sure that kids areactually number one.
Speaker 2 (31:20):
Yeah, it's just how it is, but it wasn't Nah.
Speaker 1 (31:25):
We're the ones that came up being told kids should
be seen and not heard, right?
Yeah yeah, exactly, it's shit.
So I'm glad that there's a lotof people out there that are
remedying that, getting closerto a bit better parenting these
days.
Speaker 2 (31:44):
Yeah, and his family Sorry.
Speaker 1 (31:47):
No, go for it.
Speaker 2 (31:49):
Yeah, and his family, like his mum's family.
They've been so fantastic toCarly and I too, like as hard as
this whole thing has been onthem as well fantastic to Carly
and I too, like they've as hardas it this whole thing is has
been on them as well.
But they've not at any pointhave they made us feel horrible
(32:12):
about what's happened with Wyatt.
You know, like they've neversort of made us I don't know if
horrible is the right wordactually, but I don't know.
They've just they've acceptedit as good, just as we've
accepted it.
You know, like it'severything's got to be in
Wyatt's best interest in thissituation and it works, and it
(32:34):
works really well.
Speaker 1 (32:36):
I'm glad it's such a rare kind of case as well, where
there's really no blame on anyindividual.
No, there should be no blame onwhy it's mum or why it's family
.
It's just this fucking horriblecircumstance.
This piece of shit company isjust like.
This is the results and they'recompletely right, yeah, and it
(33:00):
sucks that they're heldaccountable.
Speaker 2 (33:03):
No, no, they can't be .
I've been in contact with abloke from Canada and he's got
like a handful of people thathave been through, going through
a similar situation to myself,and he's trying to put together
(33:25):
something.
But he's just he's reallystruggling with it because it
just seems like there's like itshould come under like
negligence, like you know,medical negligence, but there's
just all these little loopholesand everything like that, but
they just seem to be able tojump through and keep doing it?
Speaker 1 (33:45):
Yes, Does Wyatt?
So Wyatt's seven correct?
Yeah, have you and Wyattdiscussed why you weren't a part
of his life?
No no, he hasn't even asked, hejust understands.
He didn't have a dad and now hedoes.
Speaker 2 (34:02):
Yeah, yeah, and he loves the fact that he's got a
dad now and does he call you dadsometimes, sometimes, yeah, it
does.
Every time.
Speaker 1 (34:11):
It makes me cry yeah, just thinking about it made him
, fucking make me cry yeah, sosometimes he does, sometimes he
doesn't, but look, that's finewith me.
Speaker 2 (34:23):
Like he could call me Jared for the rest of his life,
like I'm just happy that he'sthere, you know it's like.
But I'm surprised that Silasisn't calling me Jared, to be
honest, because with Wyatt andDolly but he's still so Dolly
doesn't call you Dad, no, no,she calls me.
She calls me Jared, yeah, orFartbum, or Fartbum, yeah, very
(34:48):
good.
Speaker 1 (34:49):
Yeah, I can look at those little nicknames.
Yeah, same Hendrix.
At the moment her vocabularyhas just exploded.
She's a sponge man.
She soaks up all the shit thatI say.
Yeah, and I was reading a newsarticle a few weeks ago and I
can't remember what it was, but.
(35:10):
I made a comment about whoeverthe article was about to George.
Yeah, Like this guy's a littleinstigator and fucking ever
since.
Hendrix will just be like heyDad, you're a little instigator,
that's awesome.
That's my new one.
That's good, Otherwise it'susually like toilet face or
fucking fart hand or something.
(35:31):
Yeah, but little instigator.
For some reason it's justreally endearing to me.
Speaker 2 (35:36):
Yeah, I like it.
I like it.
Yeah, silas is just um becausehe's just turned three on sunday
.
So he was, he went from nottalking very much and not saying
many words and then, like thelast two weeks is just damn like
exploded, like it's just, it'slike he was just keeping all
(35:58):
these words locked up and justwaiting.
Speaker 1 (36:01):
As he gets to level three.
Speaker 2 (36:02):
Yeah, and now he's just like flat out.
It's awesome, it's so good.
Speaker 1 (36:08):
Yeah, roman's the same as well.
So Roman turned three in August, but Roman had had a bit of
profound hearing loss for whichhe had to get grommets.
He got grommets in two days agoand pretty much as soon as he
was awake from the surgery hisspeech is instantly clearer.
(36:30):
Yeah, he's able to talk a wholeheap more because all of the
fluid's been drained from hisears.
So, yeah, hearing provingstraight away and, yes, he's
able to hear how his voicesounds properly.
Speaker 2 (36:45):
Yeah, that's.
Awesome, it's pretty wild.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (36:49):
Yeah, now, old mate won't shut the fuck up.
Yeah, yeah, that's good.
So what does the future looklike now?
Are there any plans on thehorizon, any big moves that
you're making?
Just enjoying?
Speaker 2 (37:02):
Yeah, at the moment, after the last 12 months, like
we've literally just learnt that, like we've just decided that
we just need to just focus onthe tasks at hand.
Like you know, let's just behappy now for what we have and
what it is.
And you know, we've both got.
(37:22):
You know, carly and I both havebusinesses that we want to be
successful and family we want.
We want to keep, you know, wewant to keep our family happy
and we want to be able toprovide for our kids.
So that's what we're, we'rewe're focusing on that and you
know, just the little thingswith the kids and with home life
(37:43):
and trying to buy a house, and,yeah, just roll with the
punches day by day.
Speaker 1 (37:47):
Yeah, trying to buy a house is a stressful fucking
journey, especially in thiseconomy.
Speaker 2 (37:54):
Oh my God, bro, like the last, however, many weeks
are just fucking sleeplessnights.
And then we've got puppies.
At the minute too.
Our German shepherd had sixpuppies and we didn't even know
she was pregnant until I was atwork on a Saturday and Carly
(38:18):
FaceTimed me and she was likewhat the fuck is going on with
Memphis?
And she showed me.
I was like what, and her bellyjust dropped.
So then I took her to the vetand the vet's like yeah, she's
pregnant, she's going to havethem in like a week, I reckon.
So yeah, she had six puppies aweek later and now we've got
(38:42):
them.
So, like sleepless nightbecause I'm stressing about this
fucking house, six puppiescarrying on.
And then Silas is like he goesto bed good, like real good, but
he'll jump in our bed at somepoint in the night and he sleeps
sideways and he like kicks inhis sleep and like throws
(39:07):
punches in his sleep.
So I'd just end up with likeheels and toes like knotted in
my ribs and stuff.
So I'm like it's all rightthough.
Speaker 1 (39:18):
Yeah, the sleep debt is real.
Something I feel like willnever come back.
Speaker 2 (39:23):
Nah, nah, that's it, that's it, but at the same time
I'm okay with that.
Speaker 1 (39:32):
You've got to try to look at those little moments
through kind eyes.
Yeah, in the moment you getyour fucking foot out of my rib
and get so angry.
But got to try and think of itlike those little feet won't be
little forever.
Speaker 2 (39:49):
No, and that's how we look at it.
You know there's going to beone day he's going to be too old
and he's not going to want tojump in bed with mum and dad you
know when he's upset oranything like that he's probably
not.
You know one day he's not goingto want to jump in bed with mum
and dad, you know when he'supset or anything like that.
Like he's probably not.
You know one day he's not goingto want to tell us what his
problems are.
So let's just take advantage ofit now while we can and make
(40:12):
sure that we show him that whenhe is older and he does have
problems, that we give him thesupport now he might feel like
he can come to us.
Speaker 1 (40:29):
Yeah, that's perfectly put and that's that's
how you tackle parenthood ingeneral.
Yeah, yeah, what do you?
What do you feel that you donow in parenthood that you wish
you had?
Speaker 2 (40:37):
everything, bro.
You know like, yeah, just justin comfort, um like I did have
support.
Speaker 1 (40:43):
You know, it's just different it was the support
given, not the support youneeded yeah, yeah yeah and there
is a difference there is adifference and I think you know,
fostering that type ofrelationship with our kids now,
where we're able to encouragethem to have their own voice and
and create their own boundaries, is so, so important in being
(41:08):
able to have that relationshiponce they grow up and where
they'll be comfortable andconfident in coming to us, like
hey, I'm in the shit, I don'tneed a lecture, I don't want to
be in trouble like, but I'm inthe shit and I need help.
Yeah, yeah, that's it.
Fuck me, I could have, I couldhave really, really used that.
I could have used that growingup.
But I didn't.
(41:29):
So instead I just doubled downand kept doing more and more
dumb shit.
Speaker 2 (41:33):
Yep, yep, like there's this, there's that
feeling like you just constantlyhad to keep shit hidden, you
know, because it's just like,yeah, if my parents find out
this, I'm fucking dead.
Yeah, you know that kind ofshit.
Speaker 1 (41:49):
I was dude.
I was just so fucking scared ofmy dad growing up, and he lived
three hours away, you know whenwe moved in.
Yeah, I had a stepdad.
I wasn't scared of him.
If he wanted to arc up, I wouldhave fucking knocked him out.
Fuck off Keith.
But I remember I decided to dropout of year 12 to get a bank as
(42:10):
apprenticeship, and I remembermum being like well, you're
going to have to call yourfather and tell him Fuck me,
dude.
I was so scared and I calledhim and he pretty much was just
like no, you're not doing it,you're finishing school.
And I just I remember this ballin my throat and it was, it was
(42:32):
coming up.
It was coming up and I'm likewhat's?
This is like my entire life of,of not being able to have my
own voice with my dad.
I was like get fucked and justhung up on him and I'm like,
holy shit, what did I just do?
He's 110% going to drive fromAubrey to Bendigo now and beat
me to death and that's just nota nice.
Speaker 2 (42:56):
It's not.
Speaker 1 (42:57):
You should never feel that way about a parent.
Speaker 2 (42:59):
It sucks, absolutely, absolutely, yeah, I didn't.
I'm, it's not.
You should never feel that wayabout a parent.
No, fuck, no, sucks, absolutely, absolutely.
Yeah, I didn't.
I'm.
I'm so grateful that I never.
I did, I never had to.
You know, I didn't have thosekind of things to worry about.
Speaker 1 (43:12):
You know, it was just sort of, yeah, different
contexts so before we wrap up,mate, is there anything else you
want to throw out into theworld at all?
Speaker 2 (43:18):
No, not really, Not really Like.
What do you mean?
Speaker 1 (43:23):
Anything, anything, anything at all.
If you want to talk about yourbusiness, you can plug your
business.
Oh no, we've got a fair fewlisteners around Victoria, so
I'll plug your business.
Then, sailor's Devil Bendigo,go check out JB and the team.
They're absolutely great.
Cheers, bro.
It's a very welcomingenvironment too.
(43:44):
I like the sign that you've gotup about no bullying and no
racism and sexism, and if yougotta bring that attitude, you
can fuck off yeah, if I can open, I feel like that shit's
imperative especially in amodern tattoo parlor yeah, like
we still get dude.
Speaker 2 (44:02):
Like we had a dude go in there, read the sign and was
like, oh, this isn't a fuckingplace for me to get tattooed.
Then he's just like mate, fuckoff, man, I don't want you here.
Yeah, you know, like, if youcan't sit there and be a normal
cunt for 10 minutes, get out.
Speaker 1 (44:18):
Yeah, can't say anything not offensive.
Speaker 2 (44:22):
Yeah, like literally, but that's that generation too,
though you know.
Speaker 1 (44:28):
That's like the old school kind of old school tattoo
scene.
Speaker 2 (44:35):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (44:36):
It's a pretty toxic one.
Yeah dude it is.
That's shocking.
That's the difference betweentattoo shops and tattoo parlours
now.
Speaker 2 (44:43):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (44:45):
You know tattoo parlours, like your shop is, you
know inclusive and supportiveand loving.
Speaker 1 (44:54):
Yeah, old school tattoo shops, they have their
set of.
Speaker 2 (45:00):
Yeah, yeah, that's it .
That's it like, and we don't.
We, you know we have peoplecoming in and they've got a bad
idea.
Like we won't tattoo it on them.
You know, like we've made,we've made those bad decisions
for them kind of people, youknow.
So we can be like look you, youdon't want to this.
Like you might think it's agood idea now.
(45:21):
I was like, but like we won'tdo it for you here.
If you're that set on doing it,like there's plenty of other
shops in town that'll do it, butjust don't come back here when
you want to cover it up, becauseI'll tell you.
I told you so.
Speaker 1 (45:36):
Yeah, 100% Awesome.
Well, yeah, thank you very muchfor coming on again and sharing
your journey and just beingreal with me.
Mate, I've learned a whole heapabout someone that I've known
for a long time.
My level of admiration has justincreased exponentially.
(45:57):
Thanks, brother, you've reallycome out on the other side just
a fucking, even more of anawesome dude than you already
were.
Speaker 2 (46:06):
Thanks bro, I appreciate that a lot.
Speaker 1 (46:09):
Made my day.
Man Made my day.
Mate, you take it easy, Go dosome drawing, get some art done.
We can call you and book insome tattoos soon for Christmas
and whatnot?
Yeah, looking forward to it,bro, sweet, as All right.
You and book in some tattoossoon for christmas and whatnot?
Yeah, looking forward to it,bro, sweet, as all right.
Mate, you have a great day.
Speaker 3 (46:23):
I will, bro you too all right bye wake up, it's
another day to try and find away to make it so my life's a
better place.
If there's one thing I see,then your only thing is me Just
(46:44):
knowing that I'm trying to makea change.
Can I put it all on meResponsibilities, and all the
other nonsense coming byrepeating it?
If there's one thing I know,it's knowing to let go.
(47:04):
Just knowing that I'm trying tomake a change, does it seem too
much Just to ask for love?
Cause there's many things thatI'll do over and I've got a lot,
but I won't give up On thosemany things that I do over.
We would like to acknowledge the traditional
custodians of this land we payour respects to the Elders, past
, present and emerging, for theyhold the memories, the
traditions and the culture ofthe Aboriginal and Torres Strait
Islander people across thenation.
Warning this podcast containsexplicit language and discusses
(00:22):
sensitive topics related tomental health childhood trauma,
birth trauma, abuse, miscarriageand suicide.
Listener discretion is advised.
If you find these subjectsdistressing or triggering, we
recommend taking caution andconsidering whether to proceed
with listening.
If you or someone you know isstruggling, please reach out to
a mental health professional ora trusted individual for support
(00:43):
.
Your wellbeing is our priority.
Hello and welcome to anotherepisode of Touched Out.
I'm your host, Carter, andtoday I speak to an old friend
of mine, JB.
Jb and I discuss our early daysof working at Kmart together at
16 years old, going throughschool together, and JB's
remarkable journey as a tattooartist.
We also discuss JB's blendedfamily, which consists of JB,
(01:07):
his fiancee Carly, her daughterDolly, which they co-parent,
together with Carly's ex-partner, JB's son Wyatt and their boy
Silas.
If you enjoyed today's episode,please like, follow, subscribe,
share and all of that on yourfavorite podcast platform and
keep on keeping on no, life'sbeen tough, so take a breath
(01:33):
from everything right here.
Speaker 3 (01:36):
Take some time, it's alright, you'll be fine.
The Touchdown Podcast Take allnight, you'll be fine, it's
(02:02):
alright.
Speaker 1 (02:19):
The Touchdown Podcast .
Oldest friends, we grew uptogether in Bendigo, had our
first jobs together at Kmart,and JB has reached out to come
onto the podcast today to sharean incredibly hectic journey.
So first of all, thanks forcoming on, mate.
I really appreciate your time.
Speaker 2 (02:40):
No stress bro.
Speaker 1 (02:41):
Super excited to get into it.
So why don't you tell us alittle bit about yourself, a
little bit about your family,and we'll go from there?
Speaker 2 (02:49):
So my name's Jared, I'm 36 years old, I live in
Bendigo, I own a business inBendigo and I'm a tattooist.
I've got my fiancée, carly.
She is also a small businessowner, she owns a barbershop,
works out of a barbershop here,and together we have three kids.
(03:11):
So Carly's got a nine-year-olddaughter.
That's my stepdaughter.
Her name's Dolly.
I have a seven-year-old boy,his name's Wyatt, and together
we have a three-year-old boycalled.
Speaker 1 (03:23):
Silas, awesome.
So why don't you tell me alittle bit about your history,
as in like how you grew up andany sort of significant events
that happened throughout yourlife?
Speaker 2 (03:39):
So growing up it was me and my little brother Rhys.
My parents were separated andwe sort of moved around
throughout Bendigo quite a lot.
We've been in a lot ofdifferent houses.
We were sort of never really ina house for longer than a year
or two.
We lived with our grandparentson and off and we spent every
(04:02):
other weekend with our dad, sortof my oldest brother.
He was here sort of momentarilyon and off.
He lived with us.
Then he wouldn't live with usand then he would sort of stay
with us on the weekends and thenhe wouldn't and that kind of
stuff.
He sort of stayed in meltonquite often with his dad, lived
with him.
Speaker 1 (04:23):
So he was your half-brother, wasn't he?
Speaker 2 (04:24):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I don't really have many memories
from being a child that I cansort of look back on and think
that that's significant in thesense of being happy or sort of,
you know, being miserable.
It was sort of all just hectic.
I feel like life has justalways been hectic.
(04:46):
Hectic in what way?
Just in there's alwayssomething going on.
Yeah, always there was.
I know I can never really lookback on anything and be like, oh
, there was a moment there wherethere wasn't chaos or, you know
, we really sort of got to sitback and take a breath or
anything like that.
And I feel like that'sresonated into my life as an
(05:08):
adult.
And yeah, there's never really,even now, like just when we
think we're catching our breathand we get, you know, a moment
or two, something happens andit's just like, bam, well, now
we've got to deal with this andI guess that's just life, like
that's just how it is witheveryone.
But it's sort of like you gotwo weeks and without there
(05:30):
being an incident and you'relike, oh, this is all right, and
then bam, something happens.
Speaker 1 (05:35):
I feel like we're always treading water.
Speaker 2 (05:37):
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (05:39):
Yeah, I feel that.
Yeah, so, as I said, we meteach other when we were 16, our
first jobs at Kmart.
I'll just tell you kind of myopinion and everything of how I
saw you when we kind of firstmet and started kind of going
(06:00):
through school together andstuff.
I remember meeting you andinstantly thinking that you were
the type of person that Ireally, really wanted to be.
I always remembered that.
I don't know I don't know why,but I was just like he's just,
he's just a fucking cool cat,like I always thought it.
And I remember when I was justfeeling really really lost,
(06:24):
especially in high school, whenwe went to bendigo senior
together, we had media classtogether and, um, I just
remember being like I'm fuckingso glad that I've got class with
him because he's just fuckingcool.
And, uh, you burnt me two cdsused, the used in love and death
and thursday full collapse, andthey still to this day, remain
(06:49):
to be two of my favorite albumsof all time.
Absolutely, I don't know why.
I was just like, fuck man, he'sjust the coolest dude and it's.
It's really weird because youyou filled out the form last
night to give me a little bit ofbackground on on your life and,
like reading through it, I wasjust like holy shit, it's so
(07:09):
weird to to know someone forsuch a long time but to know so
little about them, theirpersonal life and the struggles,
and it's.
It really really just goes toshow that that there's so many
people in this world where youcan just you can see only the
surface and they're calm calm asfuck and everything's all g,
(07:32):
but underneath those little legsare kicking fucking dear life.
Speaker 2 (07:36):
Absolutely, bro, and that's that's the.
That's just the way I've alwaysI've always dealt with shit.
I suppose, like it's always, Inever want what's going on with
me to be a burden for anyoneelse.
So I know it's like the typicalstigma that people have on men,
where you know they don't liketo talk about anything or
anything like that.
(07:57):
It's not that I don't want totalk about it, it's just that I
don't want to burden anyone withmy problems.
Like they're my problems and Ishould be able to face them
alone.
But that's not the case, like,and it's something like I really
struggle with being able toopen up and, yeah, like, I've
always been that way, even likeyounger, like skateboarding and
(08:22):
playing music and stuff likethat.
That was sort of an outlet withme because I could just thrash,
like I could just, you know, Icould just let myself go.
Speaker 1 (08:34):
Yeah, I mean you've been a tattooist, for we're 36
now, so you've been a tattooistsince you were 18, pretty
correct 20, 20.
20.
Yeah, so 16 years, that's halfyour life, your life, yeah would
you say that that is yourbiggest outlet?
Speaker 2 (08:49):
for me now.
For me now it is, yeah, likenot necessarily tattooing itself
, but it's more the more likethe, the flash and painting and
all that sort of stuff.
Speaker 1 (09:06):
Yeah, funnelling your emotions through your art.
Speaker 2 (09:10):
Yeah, and like, at the moment I'm working on just
like a line book and it's juststuff that I want to tattoo.
But I've found that it's beenquite therapeutic for me to do,
because I can sit there and Ijust will start drawing and I
kind of zone out for an hour,hour and a half and it's like,
well, where did that time go?
Like, and the thing is, I'm noteven thinking about anything in
(09:31):
particular other than what I'vegot to do, and it's sort of
nice, that's your way ofcatching your breath.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (09:37):
Because it's just.
Everything else is drowned out.
Yeah, yeah, awesome.
So we'll talk a little bitabout how you got into tattooing
and why, you decided that thatcareer resonated best with you.
Speaker 2 (09:55):
Oh, I was always around it growing up, like my
mum getting tattooed, havingtattoos, everything going with
her while she would get tattooed, like me and my little brother,
and just being around herfriend's place just looking
through tattoo magazines andeverything like that.
It was just something that wewere always around and it just
(10:17):
always stuck with me and Ialways drew.
I was always creative as achild and then, you know, I
started playing punk rock and Iwas like, well, this is just,
it's just where the where, wherethe road leads me.
I suppose like it's justinevitable for me to go down
that path and like got my firsttattoo when I was 17 and then,
(10:42):
and that just solidified thefact for me that that's what I
wanted to do.
I always sort of wanted to doit, but from that moment I knew
that that's what I wanted to doand I sort of didn't.
Really, I didn't give up, Ididn't stop until I got my
apprenticeship and then that's.
The rest is history.
Speaker 1 (11:01):
Now I remember and forgive me if my memory is wrong
, but I remember that you hadyour apprenticeship but you
ended up going out on your ownbefore you'd finished it.
Speaker 2 (11:11):
I feel like you got your own business and was just
like I'm gonna fucking do thisregardless nah, so I did finish
my apprenticeship and then sortof I went to Adelaide and then
sort of went on a road trip withmy family and then it was good,
because that sort of gave me alot of time to think and as much
(11:34):
as where I did myapprenticeship like he's a great
bloke and we still havecommunications, but we just had
very different mindsets.
So when we got back I was sortof like all right, well, this is
sort of what I'm going to donow, and then yeah, Just after
the races yeah.
Speaker 1 (11:52):
I remember you in your first shop just above the
whole, above, like Toy World orsomething like that, yeah, yeah.
Through the alleyway.
You tattooed me and myex-missus and now you tattoo me
and my wife.
You've really come up and like,yeah, you've, yeah, you've seen
me grow up and become a dad andall of this throughout like
(12:13):
just my tattooing journey aswell yeah, which is pretty cool.
It's awesome that we've beenable to stay in contact and
somewhat close, absolutely, bro,absolutely yeah definitely so
we'll, we'll get into yourfamily.
How did you meet carly, and howlong have you guys been together
?
Speaker 2 (12:32):
so I met carly through, I suppose I suppose I
would say through work, like I,she wasn't a client of mine, she
would.
She'd come into the work, shewould get tattooed off one of
the blokes in there and, likeyou know, it wasn't something
that sort of hit straight awayor anything like we were.
(12:52):
Just we were friends from there, like we talk and everything
like that.
And then it sort of wasn'tuntil like a couple of years
after we first sort of thatanything happened between us.
Because she, when she wasgetting tattooed in my shop, she
like she had a partner at thetime, like I had a partner as
(13:14):
well, so like it was justnothing to it there.
And then, yeah, a couple yearslater we were both, we were both
single and just I don't know,like a bucket, it just sort of
blossomed from there.
And then so we've been togetherfor five years now, engaged,
yeah, three kids in the processof buying a house.
(13:39):
It's just it's awesome yeah,yeah, I'm happy for you.
Speaker 1 (13:43):
Thanks bro.
I love Carly.
She's a great chick yeah she'sawesome.
So you stepped into thatrelationship with Carly and
Carly had Dolly, yeah, yeah, soyou are Dolly's stepdad, yeah,
and you are also all very, veryclose with Carly's biological
(14:08):
dad.
Speaker 2 (14:09):
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (14:11):
So you guys are all friends and it's all just this
nice working unit.
Speaker 2 (14:16):
Yeah, mate, it's awesome, it's unreal, I suppose,
for anyone that could be inthis position being like a
stepfather or a stepmother oranything like that having a
relationship like this with thechild's other parent is feel
essential, like it's great.
(14:37):
It's not, you know, it's notalways rainbows and sunshine,
but it does make things a loteasier and it's awesome rainbows
and sunshine, but it it doesmake things a lot easier and
it's awesome like just just tobe able to be friends.
I feel like that that benefitsdolly quite a lot oh, yeah, yeah
, I think.
Speaker 1 (14:56):
I think that that that kind of blended family um
where exes or biological parentsare still able to be in the
picture and there's no kind oflike jealousy or toxicity or
anything like that.
It really is a testament to thecare for the dog Absolutely,
and putting that over yourselvesor your policies or
(15:19):
insecurities or anything.
Is that something you wanted tobe up?
Speaker 2 (15:22):
No, not at all, not at all Like at the end of the
day.
We've wanted to be up.
No, not at all.
Not at all Like at the end ofthe day.
We've got to be happy in ourrelationship, but at the same
time we've got to also make surethat the kids are happy and the
kids are getting what they needso we'll talk a little bit now
about why it, why it is sevenand why it was.
Speaker 1 (15:43):
Uh well, is your child from a previous
relationship?
Um, now you've told me thestory through the form last
night and my jaw was justfucking on the floor the entire
time.
Yeah, it's quite a harrowingjourney.
So take your time and and, uh,run us, run us through.
Why Wyatt's history?
Speaker 2 (16:02):
All right.
So I guess this can sort ofstem back.
So Wyatt's mother and I wedidn't have a relationship as
such.
We sort of, obviously we hungout a couple of times and then,
nine months later, had a littleboy.
Then, nine months later, had alittle boy and then sort of
(16:25):
spending time with wire.
And then, sort of just afterhis first birthday, we started
doing mediation so we couldsolidify a routine and a
schedule to just to havesomething in place for me
spending time with him.
And the mediators appointed usa DNA test I'm not sure why, but
(16:45):
so we did it and the resultscame back that he was not my son
.
So at that point in time allcommunication was cut off
between Dwight's mother and Iand it was sort of I was grief
stricken, I was like I just Ijust yeah, I just lost my little
(17:05):
boy that's how it felt to meLike it was just just gone and I
was confused.
I was very confused and it wasone of the first conversations I
actually had.
Proper conversations I had withCarly was like a week after I
got those results.
I was talking to her at thefront of the shop and telling
her about it and she justcouldn't believe it.
(17:26):
And then that sort of spiraledme out of control.
I guess you could say I didn'tknow.
I felt like I what did I do todeserve this?
Like why, where's he gone?
(17:46):
Like what can I do?
And there was nothing I coulddo, like we had a bit of paper
that said that he wasn't mine,so there was nothing I could do.
I just had to let it go.
But in doing so, it just changedme.
It put me in this dark pitwhere I just felt worthless.
(18:08):
I felt like I was not goodenough.
I was like I just couldn't getout of it.
I just abused anything thatwould make me feel better, and I
found it hard.
I found it really hard to work.
I found it really hard to getout, feel better, and I found it
hard.
I found it really hard to work.
I found it really hard to getout of bed.
I found it.
I found it hard to do anything.
It was I don't know, I just Ieven looking back on that time,
(18:32):
like I just look back on who Iwas and I can't even, I can't
even see myself when I look atthat person.
And then this continued on forquite a while until I met Carly
and she helped me put the piecesback together.
She made me realize that Ideserve to be happy.
(18:55):
I just have to move past it.
I just have to move past it andI did.
I got the help.
I was medicated, and then Ididn't like.
I didn't like being medicated,I didn't like who.
I didn't like feeling numb, Ididn't like feeling like I was
just just a person existingeither so I was quite the same
(19:18):
with medication.
Speaker 1 (19:19):
I'm guessing it was like antidepressants you were on
.
Speaker 2 (19:22):
Yeah, antidepressants , any anxieties?
Speaker 1 (19:25):
I fucking hated them.
Yeah bro, I hated feeling likethere was stuff that I should be
sad about, but I didn't feelany way about them.
Speaker 2 (19:35):
Yeah, exactly.
It made me feel like less of aDude.
Same, exactly the same, and Iwas.
It was so shit like you,because you can sit there and
you can talk to yourself and youcan be like, all right, like
this, this is it, but you'rejust emotionless yeah, I think.
Speaker 1 (19:56):
I think antidepressants are great and
this is just my personalexperience.
Obviously everyone'sexperiences are different but
antidepressants are great forwhen there's like a need to
balance those chemical levels,yeah, kind of be baseline.
But when there's specifictraumas and specific things that
you're going through, I don'tthink it's highly helpful to
(20:20):
numb.
Speaker 2 (20:21):
No.
Speaker 1 (20:21):
Numb those feelings.
Those feelings are all a partof healing.
Speaker 2 (20:25):
Yeah, feel to heal.
Speaker 1 (20:27):
Yeah, you can't heal if you can't fucking heal.
Speaker 2 (20:29):
No, not at all, not at all.
But yeah, and then, sort oftime progressed, I got a hell of
a lot better and it was justnice having, I sort of suppose,
like a void was filled, like Iwas in a happy, loving
relationship, you know, and Iwas happy, I was genuinely happy
, you know, for once, finally,and you know, doing everything I
(20:53):
could for Dolly.
And then we got pregnant and wehad Silas and that just filled
my heart with just so much loveand happiness that just it
changed me and I feel like it'sgenuinely just a huge pivotal
(21:13):
point in my life where I juststepped up, like I just stepped
out and I just sort of was likeno, well, this is who I am and
this is what I've got to do,this is the dad I'm going to be,
and then that's what I've done.
I show up for Dolly and Silasevery day, I show up for Carly
(21:35):
every day, for Carly every day.
And then, in March 2022, I got aphone call from one of my
friends and my little brotheralso, just ringing me to tell me
that there'd been an accidentand that Wyatt's mum had passed
(21:55):
away in a car accident the nightbefore.
And I was sadden, sad, and Iwas shocked.
You know she was part of mypuzzle, you know part of my life
in a sense.
You know might not have been agood memory but still.
And then one of Carly's friendsknew her.
His little sister was friendswith it and he sort of passed on
(22:20):
a message to us that shethought that Wyatt was still
mine and we were sort of takenby it because there had been
years of no communication.
Speaker 1 (22:33):
Yeah, and the test as well.
Speaker 2 (22:35):
And the test as well.
So I sort of waited, waited alittle like a little bit, but
there's only so long you canwait.
Like I know, the family wasgrieving and I didn't want to be
what was the word?
I didn't want to.
Like make it about you yeah.
Yeah, exactly Exactly.
But I just wanted to let themknow what I'd heard.
And because of what I'd heard,it led me and Kylie to do some
(22:59):
research on this company that wedid the DNA test through and it
turned out that they had becomequite reputable for false
results and mishandlingpaternity tests, dna tests, and
that there was other people thatwere you know like, looking
into them.
(23:19):
So I reached out to her familyand said that this were you know
like looking into them.
So I reached out to her familyand said that this is you know,
this is what I've heard.
They were quiet, you know, theyweren't.
They didn't shut me down.
They were quite accepting ofthe fact that I had reached out
to them.
I didn't put any pressure onthem whatsoever.
We had to go throughmagistrates and solicitors and
(23:41):
everything like that to be ableto get appointed another DNA
test.
But, long story short, we gotthe DNA test done.
The results took a little whileand they had to be very careful
with Wyatt taking him to gethis DNA done.
(24:01):
Obviously, he'd just lost hismother.
He was very fragile.
He is very fragile and he wasvery confused as to you know
everything.
He hadn't been told anythingyet, but they still had to be
very weary and we got theresults back.
He had 99.9% paternalprobability that he was my child
.
Like, I still remember openingthat letter and just like and
(24:25):
that was in, so this March wasaccident.
We got the results back inOctober 2022.
And then I just remember openingthat letter.
I'm like Carly and I werestanding in the kitchen and I
just opened it and I just brokedown.
I was so angry that these yearshad been taken away from him.
(24:49):
You know, like I was moresaddened for him.
And then I was angry at thiscompany about.
You know, how could they dothis?
Like, how can they do this topeople and how can they get away
with it?
And they're still getting awaywith it, but there's nothing
that I can do about it.
They're an overseas company andno one here wants to touch it.
(25:12):
And then I was just taken overby well, I've got my little boy
back.
You know it's going to be along road, but, like, I've got
my little boy back and we'll beable to get there.
Speaker 1 (25:32):
So how long between the tests was that?
Speaker 2 (25:36):
Six years.
Speaker 1 (25:38):
Formative fucking years too, man.
Speaker 2 (25:40):
Yeah, yeah, I formative fucking years too, man
.
So yeah, yeah, I can't evenimagine there's moments in those
six years where I was like shit, I didn't even think I was
going to see the next day, youknow, like there was days where
I would just lay in bed and I'djust convince myself.
Well, myself, well, you know, Ithink today's the day if this
(26:04):
is life, I don't want it.
Speaker 1 (26:05):
Huh yeah, exactly, bro, in there, brother, dark
isn't it?
Speaker 2 (26:09):
yeah, it's dark, it is so dark and he's so it's
fucking dark.
But yeah, and then he it was.
So we got the result back.
Then we had to go, we had tosort of go and figure out.
I had to figure out with whyit's arnie and his grandma, um,
(26:29):
how, how were we going to tacklethis?
With why, like, how were theygoing to let him know?
Because he just thought that hedidn't have a dad, so he had no
memory of you.
No, he had no memory of me,like there's photos and stuff,
but he, he, he had no memory ofme.
So they just let him know.
(26:50):
They were just like look, we've, we found your dad.
Do you want to meet him?
And he just said no.
He was like no, I think I'mokay and you know like, well,
that broke my heart.
But at the same time, like I'mlike all right, well, that's
fine.
Like when and if he decidesthat he does want to meet me,
(27:12):
like this is where I'll be.
And then later on that day Igot a phone call and he'd been
asking some questions and he haddecided that he did want to
meet me again and that he wantedto meet me tomorrow, like the
next day.
Speaker 1 (27:28):
Yeah right.
Speaker 2 (27:29):
So like that was.
I just can't explain thefeeling of meeting him again
that day, thank you so much.
And then, yeah, now it's justfull steam ahead Again that day,
thank you so much.
And then, yeah, now it's justfull steam ahead.
He lives with his grandparentsand we get him every Tuesday
night for tea, and then everysecond Sunday and then every
(27:51):
Saturday that we don't have himon the Sunday, and it's just
like he, it's just now, it'sjust like he was never not there
, like Silas loves his bigbrother, dolly loves their
little brother, and it's awesome.
Speaker 1 (28:07):
Got this perfect family now.
Speaker 2 (28:09):
Yeah, yeah, it's great.
Speaker 1 (28:14):
Beautiful.
Well, it's a fucking rocky roadto get to where you're going,
but I'm glad you're there.
Speaker 2 (28:23):
Thanks, bro, it's hard to talk about, you know
like yeah, yeah, it's very hardto talk about.
Speaker 1 (28:33):
I don't doubt it, and I think it's amazing that you
have decided to come on heretoday to talk about it, because
these types of stories, theyhappen to people.
Yeah, that's it.
And if it's someone that'sgoing through it and they hear
this, they feel a little lessalone in the world.
Yeah, that's the magic ofputting things out there and
(28:58):
being, hey, I'm fucking okay,this is what everyone has a
story and everyone feels liketheir stories are so
insignificant because they feellike they don't matter you
fucking yeah that's it youmatter, you always have and you
always will you matter to people.
So is there any kind of plans onhaving Wyatt full-time in the
(29:21):
future?
Speaker 2 (29:22):
Look, he's his own person, he's quite.
I would never want to take himaway from any situation or you
know anywhere that he's happyand he's quite happy.
If one day he decides that hewants to come and live with us,
then my arms will be open.
(29:43):
But you know, I feel, I feelthat they might come.
I feel like it also may not,because you know he's got a,
he's got a really good familyunit on their side as well and
you know he's he, he's it's freefor him to make his own mind up
, you know.
Speaker 1 (30:02):
And.
I think that's the best way togo about it anyway, right.
Speaker 2 (30:05):
Absolutely, bro.
Absolutely Like.
Speaker 1 (30:08):
If you know, if I was forced to stay somewhere when I
was a child, I know the damnwell, like that's where I didn't
want to be yeah, I, um, I wentthrough like custody battles as
a kid and shit and I just like Iwould have been around about
wyatt's age around seven, six orseven going to court and having
(30:29):
to get up on the stand andfucking say who I wanted to live
with.
I didn't remember this distinctfeeling of feeling like a puppet
and I didn't have any words todescribe it.
But I knew that the fightingbattle wasn't about me.
It wasn't about what I wanted,it was about what they fucking
(30:50):
yeah, I remember it just fuckinghit me, it made me angry to
think that I would be used thatway.
Yeah, so so the fact thatyou're like, yeah whatever he
wants is what will happen.
That's perfect.
It's such a great, great thingto see so many people our age
and kind of the newergenerations doing things so
(31:13):
differently.
Yeah, making sure that kids areactually number one.
Speaker 2 (31:20):
Yeah, it's just how it is, but it wasn't Nah.
Speaker 1 (31:25):
We're the ones that came up being told kids should
be seen and not heard, right?
Yeah yeah, exactly, it's shit.
So I'm glad that there's a lotof people out there that are
remedying that, getting closerto a bit better parenting these
days.
Speaker 2 (31:44):
Yeah, and his family Sorry.
Speaker 1 (31:47):
No, go for it.
Speaker 2 (31:49):
Yeah, and his family, like his mum's family.
They've been so fantastic toCarly and I too, like as hard as
this whole thing has been onthem as well fantastic to Carly
and I too, like they've as hardas it this whole thing is has
been on them as well.
But they've not at any pointhave they made us feel horrible
(32:12):
about what's happened with Wyatt.
You know, like they've neversort of made us I don't know if
horrible is the right wordactually, but I don't know.
They've just they've acceptedit as good, just as we've
accepted it.
You know, like it'severything's got to be in
Wyatt's best interest in thissituation and it works, and it
(32:34):
works really well.
Speaker 1 (32:36):
I'm glad it's such a rare kind of case as well, where
there's really no blame on anyindividual.
No, there should be no blame onwhy it's mum or why it's family
.
It's just this fucking horriblecircumstance.
This piece of shit company isjust like.
This is the results and they'recompletely right, yeah, and it
(33:00):
sucks that they're heldaccountable.
Speaker 2 (33:03):
No, no, they can't be .
I've been in contact with abloke from Canada and he's got
like a handful of people thathave been through, going through
a similar situation to myself,and he's trying to put together
(33:25):
something.
But he's just he's reallystruggling with it because it
just seems like there's like itshould come under like
negligence, like you know,medical negligence, but there's
just all these little loopholesand everything like that, but
they just seem to be able tojump through and keep doing it?
Speaker 1 (33:45):
Yes, Does Wyatt?
So Wyatt's seven correct?
Yeah, have you and Wyattdiscussed why you weren't a part
of his life?
No no, he hasn't even asked, hejust understands.
He didn't have a dad and now hedoes.
Speaker 2 (34:02):
Yeah, yeah, and he loves the fact that he's got a
dad now and does he call you dadsometimes, sometimes, yeah, it
does.
Every time.
Speaker 1 (34:11):
It makes me cry yeah, just thinking about it made him
, fucking make me cry yeah, sosometimes he does, sometimes he
doesn't, but look, that's finewith me.
Speaker 2 (34:23):
Like he could call me Jared for the rest of his life,
like I'm just happy that he'sthere, you know it's like.
But I'm surprised that Silasisn't calling me Jared, to be
honest, because with Wyatt andDolly but he's still so Dolly
doesn't call you Dad, no, no,she calls me.
She calls me Jared, yeah, orFartbum, or Fartbum, yeah, very
(34:48):
good.
Speaker 1 (34:49):
Yeah, I can look at those little nicknames.
Yeah, same Hendrix.
At the moment her vocabularyhas just exploded.
She's a sponge man.
She soaks up all the shit thatI say.
Yeah, and I was reading a newsarticle a few weeks ago and I
can't remember what it was, but.
(35:10):
I made a comment about whoeverthe article was about to George.
Yeah, Like this guy's a littleinstigator and fucking ever
since.
Hendrix will just be like heyDad, you're a little instigator,
that's awesome.
That's my new one.
That's good, Otherwise it'susually like toilet face or
fucking fart hand or something.
(35:31):
Yeah, but little instigator.
For some reason it's justreally endearing to me.
Speaker 2 (35:36):
Yeah, I like it.
I like it.
Yeah, silas is just um becausehe's just turned three on sunday
.
So he was, he went from nottalking very much and not saying
many words and then, like thelast two weeks is just damn like
exploded, like it's just, it'slike he was just keeping all
(35:58):
these words locked up and justwaiting.
Speaker 1 (36:01):
As he gets to level three.
Speaker 2 (36:02):
Yeah, and now he's just like flat out.
It's awesome, it's so good.
Speaker 1 (36:08):
Yeah, roman's the same as well.
So Roman turned three in August, but Roman had had a bit of
profound hearing loss for whichhe had to get grommets.
He got grommets in two days agoand pretty much as soon as he
was awake from the surgery hisspeech is instantly clearer.
(36:30):
Yeah, he's able to talk a wholeheap more because all of the
fluid's been drained from hisears.
So, yeah, hearing provingstraight away and, yes, he's
able to hear how his voicesounds properly.
Speaker 2 (36:45):
Yeah, that's.
Awesome, it's pretty wild.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (36:49):
Yeah, now, old mate won't shut the fuck up.
Yeah, yeah, that's good.
So what does the future looklike now?
Are there any plans on thehorizon, any big moves that
you're making?
Just enjoying?
Speaker 2 (37:02):
Yeah, at the moment, after the last 12 months, like
we've literally just learnt that, like we've just decided that
we just need to just focus onthe tasks at hand.
Like you know, let's just behappy now for what we have and
what it is.
And you know, we've both got.
(37:22):
You know, carly and I both havebusinesses that we want to be
successful and family we want.
We want to keep, you know, wewant to keep our family happy
and we want to be able toprovide for our kids.
So that's what we're, we'rewe're focusing on that and you
know, just the little thingswith the kids and with home life
(37:43):
and trying to buy a house, and,yeah, just roll with the
punches day by day.
Speaker 1 (37:47):
Yeah, trying to buy a house is a stressful fucking
journey, especially in thiseconomy.
Speaker 2 (37:54):
Oh my God, bro, like the last, however, many weeks
are just fucking sleeplessnights.
And then we've got puppies.
At the minute too.
Our German shepherd had sixpuppies and we didn't even know
she was pregnant until I was atwork on a Saturday and Carly
(38:18):
FaceTimed me and she was likewhat the fuck is going on with
Memphis?
And she showed me.
I was like what, and her bellyjust dropped.
So then I took her to the vetand the vet's like yeah, she's
pregnant, she's going to havethem in like a week, I reckon.
So yeah, she had six puppies aweek later and now we've got
(38:42):
them.
So, like sleepless nightbecause I'm stressing about this
fucking house, six puppiescarrying on.
And then Silas is like he goesto bed good, like real good, but
he'll jump in our bed at somepoint in the night and he sleeps
sideways and he like kicks inhis sleep and like throws
(39:07):
punches in his sleep.
So I'd just end up with likeheels and toes like knotted in
my ribs and stuff.
So I'm like it's all rightthough.
Speaker 1 (39:18):
Yeah, the sleep debt is real.
Something I feel like willnever come back.
Speaker 2 (39:23):
Nah, nah, that's it, that's it, but at the same time
I'm okay with that.
Speaker 1 (39:32):
You've got to try to look at those little moments
through kind eyes.
Yeah, in the moment you getyour fucking foot out of my rib
and get so angry.
But got to try and think of itlike those little feet won't be
little forever.
Speaker 2 (39:49):
No, and that's how we look at it.
You know there's going to beone day he's going to be too old
and he's not going to want tojump in bed with mum and dad you
know when he's upset oranything like that he's probably
not.
You know one day he's not goingto want to jump in bed with mum
and dad, you know when he'supset or anything like that.
Like he's probably not.
You know one day he's not goingto want to tell us what his
problems are.
So let's just take advantage ofit now while we can and make
(40:12):
sure that we show him that whenhe is older and he does have
problems, that we give him thesupport now he might feel like
he can come to us.
Speaker 1 (40:29):
Yeah, that's perfectly put and that's that's
how you tackle parenthood ingeneral.
Yeah, yeah, what do you?
What do you feel that you donow in parenthood that you wish
you had?
Speaker 2 (40:37):
everything, bro.
You know like, yeah, just justin comfort, um like I did have
support.
Speaker 1 (40:43):
You know, it's just different it was the support
given, not the support youneeded yeah, yeah yeah and there
is a difference there is adifference and I think you know,
fostering that type ofrelationship with our kids now,
where we're able to encouragethem to have their own voice and
and create their own boundaries, is so, so important in being
(41:08):
able to have that relationshiponce they grow up and where
they'll be comfortable andconfident in coming to us, like
hey, I'm in the shit, I don'tneed a lecture, I don't want to
be in trouble like, but I'm inthe shit and I need help.
Yeah, yeah, that's it.
Fuck me, I could have, I couldhave really, really used that.
I could have used that growingup.
But I didn't.
(41:29):
So instead I just doubled downand kept doing more and more
dumb shit.
Speaker 2 (41:33):
Yep, yep, like there's this, there's that
feeling like you just constantlyhad to keep shit hidden, you
know, because it's just like,yeah, if my parents find out
this, I'm fucking dead.
Yeah, you know that kind ofshit.
Speaker 1 (41:49):
I was dude.
I was just so fucking scared ofmy dad growing up, and he lived
three hours away, you know whenwe moved in.
Yeah, I had a stepdad.
I wasn't scared of him.
If he wanted to arc up, I wouldhave fucking knocked him out.
Fuck off Keith.
But I remember I decided to dropout of year 12 to get a bank as
(42:10):
apprenticeship, and I remembermum being like well, you're
going to have to call yourfather and tell him Fuck me,
dude.
I was so scared and I calledhim and he pretty much was just
like no, you're not doing it,you're finishing school.
And I just I remember this ballin my throat and it was, it was
(42:32):
coming up.
It was coming up and I'm likewhat's?
This is like my entire life of,of not being able to have my
own voice with my dad.
I was like get fucked and justhung up on him and I'm like,
holy shit, what did I just do?
He's 110% going to drive fromAubrey to Bendigo now and beat
me to death and that's just nota nice.
Speaker 2 (42:56):
It's not.
Speaker 1 (42:57):
You should never feel that way about a parent.
Speaker 2 (42:59):
It sucks, absolutely, absolutely, yeah, I didn't.
I'm, it's not.
You should never feel that wayabout a parent.
No, fuck, no, sucks, absolutely, absolutely.
Yeah, I didn't.
I'm.
I'm so grateful that I never.
I did, I never had to.
You know, I didn't have thosekind of things to worry about.
Speaker 1 (43:12):
You know, it was just sort of, yeah, different
contexts so before we wrap up,mate, is there anything else you
want to throw out into theworld at all?
Speaker 2 (43:18):
No, not really, Not really Like.
What do you mean?
Speaker 1 (43:23):
Anything, anything, anything at all.
If you want to talk about yourbusiness, you can plug your
business.
Oh no, we've got a fair fewlisteners around Victoria, so
I'll plug your business.
Then, sailor's Devil Bendigo,go check out JB and the team.
They're absolutely great.
Cheers, bro.
It's a very welcomingenvironment too.
(43:44):
I like the sign that you've gotup about no bullying and no
racism and sexism, and if yougotta bring that attitude, you
can fuck off yeah, if I can open, I feel like that shit's
imperative especially in amodern tattoo parlor yeah, like
we still get dude.
Speaker 2 (44:02):
Like we had a dude go in there, read the sign and was
like, oh, this isn't a fuckingplace for me to get tattooed.
Then he's just like mate, fuckoff, man, I don't want you here.
Yeah, you know, like, if youcan't sit there and be a normal
cunt for 10 minutes, get out.
Speaker 1 (44:18):
Yeah, can't say anything not offensive.
Speaker 2 (44:22):
Yeah, like literally, but that's that generation too,
though you know.
Speaker 1 (44:28):
That's like the old school kind of old school tattoo
scene.
Speaker 2 (44:35):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (44:36):
It's a pretty toxic one.
Yeah dude it is.
That's shocking.
That's the difference betweentattoo shops and tattoo parlours
now.
Speaker 2 (44:43):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (44:45):
You know tattoo parlours, like your shop is, you
know inclusive and supportiveand loving.
Speaker 1 (44:54):
Yeah, old school tattoo shops, they have their
set of.
Speaker 2 (45:00):
Yeah, yeah, that's it .
That's it like, and we don't.
We, you know we have peoplecoming in and they've got a bad
idea.
Like we won't tattoo it on them.
You know, like we've made,we've made those bad decisions
for them kind of people, youknow.
So we can be like look you, youdon't want to this.
Like you might think it's agood idea now.
(45:21):
I was like, but like we won'tdo it for you here.
If you're that set on doing it,like there's plenty of other
shops in town that'll do it, butjust don't come back here when
you want to cover it up, becauseI'll tell you.
I told you so.
Speaker 1 (45:36):
Yeah, 100% Awesome.
Well, yeah, thank you very muchfor coming on again and sharing
your journey and just beingreal with me.
Mate, I've learned a whole heapabout someone that I've known
for a long time.
My level of admiration has justincreased exponentially.
(45:57):
Thanks, brother, you've reallycome out on the other side just
a fucking, even more of anawesome dude than you already
were.
Speaker 2 (46:06):
Thanks bro, I appreciate that a lot.
Speaker 1 (46:09):
Made my day.
Man Made my day.
Mate, you take it easy, Go dosome drawing, get some art done.
We can call you and book insome tattoos soon for Christmas
and whatnot?
Yeah, looking forward to it,bro, sweet, as All right.
You and book in some tattoossoon for christmas and whatnot?
Yeah, looking forward to it,bro, sweet, as all right.
Mate, you have a great day.
Speaker 3 (46:23):
I will, bro you too all right bye wake up, it's
another day to try and find away to make it so my life's a
better place.
If there's one thing I see,then your only thing is me Just
(46:44):
knowing that I'm trying to makea change.
Can I put it all on meResponsibilities, and all the
other nonsense coming byrepeating it?
If there's one thing I know,it's knowing to let go.
(47:04):
Just knowing that I'm trying tomake a change, does it seem too
much Just to ask for love?
Cause there's many things thatI'll do over and I've got a lot,
but I won't give up On thosemany things that I do over.
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