April 7, 2025 • 53 mins
Become a Global Ambassador for Self-Worth. Text us your feedback!
Join us in this heartfelt and profound episode of Transacting Value as we explore the transformative power of resilience through the lived experiences of our guest, Dina Lantzer. From a challenging upbringing in a domestically violent environment to navigating the aftermath of a suicide attempt, Dina shares her journey with raw honesty and courage. Our conversation delves into the intricacies of post-traumatic stress, coping mechanisms, and the role of detachment as a survival tool, while highlighting Dina's spiritual journey and reevaluation of faith as key elements in her healing. We also examine themes of self-worth and how life experiences shape our personal value systems, encouraging listeners to reflect on their own paths of self-discovery and healing. This powerful narrative underscores the importance of vulnerability and diverse perspectives in fostering growth, and we hope it offers inspiration and encouragement for your journey. Your stories matter—they shape who you are and who you can become. Tune in, share your thoughts with us, and don’t forget to subscribe and leave a review as we continue building a community rooted in resilience and understanding.
(11:36) https://www.va.gov/disability/
(32:46) Porthouse Tampa Bay Realtor
Visit https://justdina.com/ to learn more about Dina and her services.
Looking for more perspective, empowerment, and self-worth?
For a chance to hear your question answered on the air, remember to Subscribe and Leave a Voice Message at TransactingValuePodcast.com!
We'll meet you there.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Josh Porthouse (00:00):
The views expressed in this podcast are
solely those of the podcast hostand guest and do not
necessarily represent those ofour distribution partners,
supporting businessrelationships or supported
audience.
Welcome to Transacting Value,where we talk about practical
(00:22):
applications for instigatingself-worth when dealing with
each other and even withinourselves, where we foster a
podcast listening experiencethat lets you hear the power of
a value system for managingburnout, establishing boundaries
, fostering community andfinding identity.
My name is Josh Porthouse, I'myour host and we are redefining
sovereignty of character.
(00:42):
This is why values still holdvalue.
This is Transacting Value.
Dina Lantzer (00:49):
That version of me that attempted suicide wasn't
going to be a lasting version.
Right, I had to figure outsomething else to do, because I
couldn't be that person anymore.
Josh Porthouse (01:08):
Today on Transacting Value.
Post-traumatic stress affectseverybody and most people
differently, for differentperiods of time as well, and so
what happens when that stressand those stressors last for
decades and seem to compound andbecome more and more complex?
More importantly, how do youget through them and how do you
get over them if you're able?
Today's guest we're talkingwith Dina Lancer.
(01:30):
All about how she's done it,the things that have impacted
her life and the things thathave ultimately affected her
perspective today to become thebrilliant, beautiful and, all
things considered, productiveperson she's become.
Today.
I'm your host.
I'm Josh Porthausen from SDYTMedia.
This is Transacting Value, dina.
How are you doing?
Dina Lantzer (01:51):
I'm great.
How are you, Josh?
Josh Porthouse (01:54):
I'm good.
I'm good.
I appreciate you being soflexible and giving us some of
your time.
I know you've got a life and anevening to take care of, plus a
family, so I do appreciate yourtime too.
I want to open with this.
I think this is important in alot of new relationships
especially, but for everybody inour audience who's unfamiliar
(02:15):
with you aspects of your story,let's just start there for a
couple minutes.
Who are you, when are you fromand what sort of things are
shaping your perspective on lifenow?
Wow.
Dina Lantzer (02:27):
Fantastic question , big one.
I'm originally from Nebraska,grew up in a small town, I am a
54-year-old wife.
I've been married for 33 years.
I have three kids, all grown,and four granddaughters, ages 3
to 15 now.
So fun, full life.
(02:50):
For sure we had a dramatic, Iguess traumatic.
It was interesting listening toyour intro this time because I
have had a lot of chronic PTSDin my life.
I grew up in a domestic,violent household and just
(03:12):
didn't stop.
I guess.
When I was 27, I attemptedsuicide because of the massive
amount of depression and bipolarstuff that I experienced as a
child and the trauma just didn'tend.
We've ended up in our marriageof 33 years.
We've experienced pretty mucheverything you can experience,
(03:34):
from adultery and addictions,teenage runaway to actually our
daughters being molested.
Our oldest daughter was on thestreets, a drug addict.
We took custody of her kids.
So it's been a really full 50years.
Josh Porthouse (03:56):
Yeah, really, really robust life experience
You're packing into some shortperiods of time here.
Dina Lantzer (04:02):
I must have a lot of karma, or just a really big,
really hard headed.
I can't figure out the lesson.
I'm not sure.
Josh Porthouse (04:11):
Yeah, maybe.
But you know somethinginteresting that comes with all
that too is you know, if there'sany sense or semblance of
credibility to past lives orwhatever karmically maybe you
had coming for whatever reason,is that you now is strong enough
to handle it?
And so you know, whatever it'sbecome and whatever it's going
(04:32):
to continue to be as a platformto help other people or a
platform for a story, whateverit is, the amount of inspiration
that comes with that degree ofresilience, but then also the
ability to communicate iteffectively and with enough
grace to process it and keepyour head on straight that, I
think, is the bigger feat andthe bigger accomplishment to
(04:55):
focus on.
So you listed a lifetime'sworth of experiences in half the
time.
Did it also seem to go throughthat quickly, twice the speed,
one thing after another?
Or was there enough downtimefor you to like I've grieved,
I've moved on, I just got hitagain.
Dina Lantzer (05:14):
So one thing interesting about me is I don't
normally grieve a lot.
My husband is the griever, I'mnot, and to tell you the truth,
it doesn't even feel like mylife.
So I don't know if I have thisability to detach so well from
everything.
I can look back on all my pastexperiences and think is that my
(05:41):
life?
Did I go through that?
Because I think I driftedthrough everything at such a and
I want to say high level, butit really wasn't probably a high
level, it was just a detachedlevel, if that makes sense.
And I'm sure, I'm sure, athousand percent sure that I
learned how to detach fromtrauma at a young age, right,
(06:09):
and so it has served me to somedegree because I've been able to
utilize all of the things thatI've gone through to really kind
of be the driving force in mylife to try to heal, try to
figure out why, how to helpother people with their traumas,
(06:30):
how to to escape trauma myself,how to help my kids through
traumas.
I put them through Right,because, even though, even
though my parenting was betterthan the parenting I had my
parenting was better than theparenting I had it still had its
issues, I can promise you, andso, even though and it's
(06:50):
beautiful I'm so grateful that Ihave fantastic relationships
with all of my kids andgrandkids, in spite of the
casualties that I caused by nothealing my own unconscious
wounds.
But the whole idea is tohopefully help them be better
(07:15):
parents than I was, so that mygrandkids don't have the
sufferings that we've all hadfor generations.
Not what we do is we stand onthe shoulders of those who went
before us.
Josh Porthouse (07:27):
Well, that's what we're supposed to be doing.
I think oftentimes we help holdup other things.
But yeah, that's the goal.
I suppose you know and it'sinteresting too you bring that
up.
I've got a buddy and he's gotnow.
He's got two girls, but at thetime he had one girl and one boy
and he said between he and hiswife that his goal is in some
(08:04):
sense to be a good father, buthis primary focus is in her
qualities of the type of womanthat he should be looking for
when he grows up.
And it was such an interestingperspective that I hadn't really
considered before, because thenit's not really based on
firsthand experience.
You know what I mean.
I can't grow up in whatevercapacity or role I have in
(08:24):
society for the daughter that Idon't have, and so even if I did
, I can't forecast that.
But I think in your case, tothe point you just made, there's
so many different aspects ofwhat you went through On one
hand the receiving end, on theother end, transmitting it and
(08:46):
then interpreting it and thencommunicating it from an outside
perspective that I'm curious.
I guess, even if it were as adefense mechanism that you
detached and sort of steppedback initially, has it always
served you well as a mechanismto process.
Dina Lantzer (09:06):
I would say yes, I don't know if my husband would
agree, honestly.
Yeah, I don't study a ton ofastrology stuff, but I am an
Aquarius and Aquariuses aredetached.
Typically they have an abilityto detach.
I have a really strongspiritual nature and so I have a
(09:29):
very strong connection to mycreator and I think that's been
a well.
I'm sure that's been like aprimary force in my life to help
me continue to just go throughand go through, and go through
and go through and, at the sametime, being able to detach like
(09:52):
I said, detach really from a lotof the right here right now
stresses.
I'm able to just pull away fromit and not allow it to affect
me to the point where I can'tmake decisions and I can't get
up or I'm catatonic or anythinglike that.
I had.
I had in 97, like I said, whenI was 27 attempted suicide
(10:15):
because I really did believethat I would never be happy.
I didn't think that I wouldever, ever be happy.
I mean, there was just, youknow, I would never be happy,
even though I was married, hadtwo daughters at home, right, a
three-year-old and afive-year-old, or four and six,
something like that, and seeeven that like I just felt like,
(10:36):
honestly, when I attemptedsuicide I didn't think that I
was loved, I could never beloved, I could never be happy,
and that was just a story thatwas repeating for myself.
And you know, the meds finallykicked in.
About six weeks later I went toa traditional old building psych
(10:58):
ward.
They closed most of them now,but that's where we went.
In Nebraska I spent six weekswith people who were really
really really struggling withthings and I was to an extent
too.
Obviously.
I argued with one of thecounselors who was talking about
self-esteem and I said I don'thave a self-esteem issue.
(11:20):
I feel just I'm good and she'slike people with good
self-esteem don't try to killthemselves.
It's like, oh, that'sinteresting.
Yeah, you're probably right.
Josh Porthouse (11:32):
Alrighty, folks sit tight and we'll be right
back on Transacting Value.
Ad (11:36):
This message is from the US Department of Veterans Affairs.
Va disability compensation is amonthly tax-free payment to
veterans who got sick or injuredin the military and to veterans
whose service worsened anexisting condition.
You may qualify for VAdisability compensation for
physical and mental healthconditions that developed or
(11:59):
worsened due to service.
Learn more at vagov slashdisability service.
Dina Lantzer (12:09):
Learn more at vagov slash disability.
I argued with one of thecounselors who was talking about
self-esteem and I said I don'thave a self-esteem issue.
I feel just I'm good.
And she's like people with goodself-esteem don't try to kill
themselves.
It's like, oh, that'sinteresting.
Yeah, you're probably right.
I should probably look at that.
Josh Porthouse (12:27):
That's an interesting point to bring up
too, because you feel normalyeah, it's like an impressionist
painting, I think If youpicture yourself in the painting
as one of of the paintedfigures, it's normal.
And then to anybody looking atthe painting, they're like uh,
(12:51):
that's a little warped,something's off there.
You're like nope, this is justhow the sky looks from here.
I don't know what to tell youthat's such a good example
because there's a lot of that,not not specific to your
ideations or circumstances, butthe distance, the intentional
distancing, let's just say,based on that comment you just
(13:16):
made, lack of awareness andself-esteem that maybe you
didn't notice at the time.
I think the interesting pointto that, people that have, of
the people that I've talked to,I'm not a psychologist, I'm not
a psychiatrist, especially foranybody new to the show.
In fact, most of myprofessional career has been in
the Marine Corps infantry, andso we just tended to walk really
(13:38):
far and have to shoot reallywell and carry a heavy pack.
You know like there's no realpsychological impact to society
from what we did, compared to apsychiatrist in that same role.
But the conversations that wewould have on these long walks
with these heavy packs involveda lot of detachment and
(14:00):
psychoanalysis and conversationsabout these types of things.
Most of it tended to besarcastic, like oh, this hike is
never going to end, kill me now, type comments.
But it's not quite the same,right.
And so, yeah, I think it'sinteresting that a lot of these,
let's say, enduring exposuresto high stress occupational
(14:23):
environments tends to be thesame sort of humor and
perspective.
And so we detach to cope, notnecessarily in defense, just to
process, and so a lot of whatyou're describing is like to me
firsthand.
Circumstantially I'm not therewith you, but I think in terms
(14:44):
of the idea I get exactly whatyou're describing.
Wow, especially in hindsightyeah Well, that just hit me now.
Yeah, especially in hindsight,you don't remember details.
Not that the details didn'thappen, it's just you didn't pay
attention to them because youdetached from stress or whatever
.
Dina Lantzer (15:03):
Yeah, I don't think I had the ability to be
present Because you detachedfrom stress or whatever.
Yeah, I don't think I had theability to be present, because
I've thought about that recently, because, again, it's like
watching my grandkids grow up.
I'm able to be much morepresent with my grandkids than I
was with my kids.
My kid's childhood doesn't seemlike I lived that experience,
(15:34):
like I just don't like where wasI?
But I was in that.
In that period of time, likewhen I got out of the hospital
at 27 years old, I went through12 years of intensive renewing
of the mind.
Right, I went and it wasintensive, and so I was really
focused on trying to heal thetraumas that I had and just
(15:56):
figure out who I was and who Iwas supposed to be and who could
I be, because that version ofme that attempted suicide wasn't
going to be a lasting version.
Right, I had to figure outsomething else to do, because I
couldn't be that person anymore,if that makes sense.
Josh Porthouse (16:17):
What changed then?
What was the trigger?
Dina Lantzer (16:20):
Well, the suicide attempt obviously was the big
trigger.
But when I got to the hospitalor actually a week before I got
to the hospital because I wasit's interesting I was suicidal,
but I was never on a suicidalwatch.
Just because I kept saying alegit like I'm not happy, I have
no desire to live, like I'mlike telling the doctors like
(16:50):
this isn't working, I don't wantto be here, I really feel like
I just need to the karma thingdie and come back and try this
again because I don't like whatI just experienced, I want
something else.
And literally a week before Igot out of the hospital, I had
said a little prayer, kind ofoffhandedly, and I said God, if
(17:15):
you're real, show me that youlove me.
And I woke up the next day andthe sky was bluer than it had
ever been.
It felt like I had sunglasseson my whole life.
This weight that was on my theshoulders, the world on my
shoulders, was gone.
Everything was different.
I was happy for the first timein my life.
And you know, the doctors andeveryone was like the meds
(17:38):
kicked in and I'm like probablydead.
The meds kicked in, right.
And then a week or so later Igot out of the hospital and we
went up to Minnesota to visit myhusband's family because that's
where they lived, and we endedup visiting a church because his
family are very strongChristians.
And we ended up visiting achurch and, honestly, josh, like
(18:03):
God, met us there in a verytangible way.
And so we moved from Nebraskato Minnesota a week, two weeks
later and we just went home andpacked up our house and moved
and just because we thought 10hours was too long to commute to
go to church on, Sundays.
(18:25):
So that gave me, like this,really strong, and I tend to be
an all or nothing kind of person, right, black or white.
I know it's a thinking.
I get that I have a lot moregray now than I used to, but I
just dove in and recreatedmyself.
Just dove in and recreatedmyself.
Now I stopped smoking, stoppeddrinking, stopped doing all the
(18:53):
things I was doing and just dovehead in and became completely
transformed.
So when our daughters gotmolested and it just start,
oldest one started going throughall of the she was running away
at 16 and just all of thetrauma that she was going
through, this church family thatwe kind of devoted our lives to
just wasn't there at all and itreally caused me to start
(19:19):
looking for, for more meaning.
I guess if you could say thatmy relationship with the creator
definitely went through someebbs and flows but now is
stronger and more expanded thanit was before.
Josh Porthouse (19:37):
But I think because I've had a really strong
relationship with somethingoutside of me, something bigger,
bigger than me, I've been ableto maintain I don't know some
sort of yeah, perspective maybeperspective is a good word, yep
yeah, and you know what'sinteresting too and this isn't
(19:58):
necessarily specific to anyreligion or or whatever, but
mine being rooted inchristianity, let's just call it
the holy spirit you can'tinhale that, and I mean that is
internal.
Even well, spiritually, andwhatever that is, yeah, is you
(20:21):
doing it?
You know?
I mean so there's still acertain degree of self-reliance
and self-awareness, maybeunwitting, maybe subconscious,
but that's there.
And then I think faith is wherethat ends and carries it the
rest of the way.
So the amount of resiliencethat you've been able to build
(20:42):
not to analyze you just sinceyou brought it up that you've
been able to build through allthat analyze you just since you
brought it up that you've beenable to build through all that
stuff.
There's a lot of circumstancesin my life where I started
trying to better identify how doI manage this?
How do I handle this?
I got married in 2012, about aweek after I got back from
(21:06):
Afghanistan, and I thoughteverything was fine.
I was like this is, like I said, the sky always looks like this
in my painting, but I didn'trealize I was hanging in a
museum, you know, and so Istarted having people, my
ex-wife included, describingthis painting.
That didn't make any sense tome and it took the better part
(21:26):
of a decade for me to startprocessing and grasping that.
Oh, this isn't what it actuallylooks like.
There are some issues here,brushstrokes or whatever, and
that is interesting.
You brought it up.
But then does that give yousome degree of authenticity now,
(21:48):
or acceptance, ownership now,or you still feel like you're
distanced.
Dina Lantzer (21:54):
No, I've learned, actually, that embodiment of
that spirit like you talkedabout, where for a long time, it
was always outside of me andand as I've learned to hold it
myself and realize that thatlove comes from within, not
(22:18):
without, I think that's whereI've started to really anchor
into it.
Maybe it is interesting, though, and I'm kind of curious,
because when you said, otherpeople around you were telling
you I don't know if this is theway the painting, I don't know
(22:38):
if these are the rightbreaststrokes, right, I find
that interesting because I thinkeveryone has these like
beautiful perspectives, and itdoesn't make it right or wrong,
it's just a perspective, and weall need those perspectives for
a variety of reasons.
Right, just like the worldneeds 800 million different
(23:00):
flowers, yeah, and just allgives us a different.
It just makes for differentperspectives on everything, and
I certainly have a lot ofperspective.
I understand that, but I getthat all the time.
Is people don't?
I hear from other people howthat was profound.
(23:22):
I can't believe you shared thatso easily.
This, this was reallyvulnerable.
You know fiction.
I'm just like I have no ideawhat you're talking about.
This is just.
This is just what I do.
Right, it's like a fish inwater.
I don't know how to swim, Ijust swim.
Josh Porthouse (23:37):
Alrighty, folks sit tight and we'll be right
back on transacting value.
Alrighty folks, if you'relooking for more perspective and
more podcast, you can check outTransacting Value on Reads
Across America Radio.
Listen in on iHeartRadioOdyssey and TuneIn.
Dina Lantzer (23:55):
I hear from other people how that was profound.
I can't believe you shared thatso easily.
This was really vulnerable.
You know fiction.
I'm just like.
I have no idea what you'retalking about.
This is just what I do.
It's like a fish in water.
I don't know how to swim, Ijust swim.
Josh Porthouse (24:14):
Right.
Well, that's sort of theloophole or caveat, I guess to
the point, because it's notalways bad or ever necessarily,
depending on what you do withthe information, but I think
there's indicators based onsocietal patterns or biases,
things that you can recognize,as this is more commonplace than
(24:38):
what I would have done orwhatever from what I'm hearing.
You know what I mean Because Ispent a decade getting told, hey
, I'm cold and I'm distant.
I don't think so.
I think I'm just processing itokay, and it sounds an awful lot
like what your responses were.
Dina Lantzer (24:55):
It might still be.
My husband probably stillthinks that to an extent he's
got the emotional bag Let mejust put it that way, I don't
want to call it baggage he goes,he's cancer.
So again, not a whole lot aboutastrology, but the cancers have
all of the emotions and theAquarius's tend to be detached,
(25:18):
and so he definitely feelsthings and processes things way
slower.
Because I'm able to be detachedfrom things, I'm able to make a
decision very quickly, and Idon't have to.
Either I know through myintuition what the right answer
is, or or I don't, and itdoesn't matter.
(25:39):
I'm just straightforward.
I'm gonna plow ahead and fix it, figure it out as we go, and my
husband will take weeks ormonths to process things, and it
gives us a good balance yeah,yeah, well, yeah, maybe a
harmony at least.
Josh Porthouse (26:01):
You know, having having that sort of insight,
especially as a couple, I don'tthink that's something you
stumble on and you're like, well, that sort of insight,
especially as a couple, I don'tthink that's something you
stumble on and you're like, well, that's interesting.
And then you move on to thenext tuesday.
Right to me that sounds like ittakes an awful lot of work and
conscious effort and willing andwitting participation and
presence in a relationship.
So how do you develop that?
(26:21):
Because it didn't sound like atone point you really wanted to.
Dina Lantzer (26:25):
No, I think, a commitment to unconditional love
and grace.
What do you mean grace?
Grace is choosing to see theother person ahead of yourself.
Grace is choosing to not judgethe person for wherever they're
(26:46):
at and whatever they're goingthrough, because you're not
looking at the at the speck intheir eye through your plank,
right?
You're choosing to go okay,well, you've got what you've got
, going on and it's and it'sbeen both ways.
Like my husband has laid out somuch grace for me, my husband
has laid out so much grace forme.
I've not been an easy walk, Ican promise you that At all
(27:12):
Right, but it's just likelearning to live in that layer
of grace.
And, like I said, unconditionallove.
Unconditional love is lovewithout a condition attached to
it.
Bottom line love is lovewithout a condition attached to
it, bottom line.
And I think that we were, wewere born, babies are born as
unconditional love and I thinkour whole objective of life is
(27:36):
to come back to that state ofunconditional love.
That's the god right, that'sthat.
That's that outside creator.
Josh Porthouse (27:45):
It's unconditional love do you think
it's coming back to that pointor developing a conscious
awareness of that innate point?
Dina Lantzer (27:55):
it's a really good perspective.
I don't suppose you can go backto it.
You'd have to develop theinsight and the awareness.
And you're right, it's aconscious decision all the time.
Josh Porthouse (28:13):
Like to grow in tandem with it or parallel to it
whatever the reference is thereas opposed to growing away from
it and then cycling back.
Well, okay, but that says acouple.
What about you?
Like you just keep goingthrough these things and
eventually figure out a way toprocess, or have you had to rely
(28:37):
on other people and inputs andactually start to accept it,
begrudgingly or otherwise, tomove through and process and
grow what's worked for you?
Dina Lantzer (28:46):
I'm not sure if I understand what you're talking
about, except what?
Josh Porthouse (28:50):
feedback, insight, perspective.
Is it just from you, based onyour own intuition, or has it
also been okay I?
I don't necessarily understandwhat you're saying here, but
I'll give it a shot and try itand then maybe that works.
What's been some of the, Iguess, patterns or processes
(29:10):
that have worked for you to helpyou grow into you now?
Dina Lantzer (29:13):
Yeah, absolutely.
I'm always looking for otherperspectives, always looking for
other perspectives.
I don't like the echo chamberat all and I find myself
obviously there's something outthere called confirmation bias
right, and we have a tendency towant to gravitate towards
(29:34):
things that will confirm to uswhat we already think about,
whatever it is right, whetherit's how I think about myself or
feel about myself.
And so that drive for me ofalways seeking the other
perspective because what it doesis it expands me and it expands
(29:55):
my awareness I'm able to seethings that I couldn't see any
other way.
Now do I adopt everything Ihear?
No, now do I adopt everything?
Josh Porthouse (30:14):
I hear.
No, I don't Hardheaded.
My doctor said I'm tenacious,that's a good word for stubborn,
that is a good word.
Having a fair amount ofskepticism, I think, plays a
role too.
Yes, but do you find that thataccurately for you, balances out
the belief, take it on faith,with a fair amount of skepticism
as a counterbalance, or is itstill all in?
Dina Lantzer (30:35):
No, I definitely feel like so.
When I became a Christian, Iwas hardcore just take it on
faith, and I did.
Everything of this doesn't makesense, but I don't need it to
make sense.
I just need to have faith insomething.
Because I wasn't standing right, I tried to kill myself and so
(30:55):
I was the end of something.
I needed something else,regardless of whether or not it
made sense to me.
So I tried and I've looked intoeverything, like I'm all over
the place as far as as feedingmy mind, feeding my spirit, I'm,
I look all over the placetrying to figure that out, and
(31:16):
so now I feel like I haveprobably.
In fact, the scales have areway more on the skepticism side
than they do the faith side down.
Josh Porthouse (31:26):
Oh, interesting.
Dina Lantzer (31:27):
And that's right now, like specifically right now
, where I'm at this week, thismorning, in my journal, right is
trying to balance that faithback.
Right Because I feel a lot ofskepticism.
Right because I feel a lot ofskepticism, you know, 2020
(31:52):
brought, you know massive eyeopeners for the majority of the
world.
Right, yeah, granted, I mean, Iunderstood what was going on in
2020 before the majority ofpeople did, because I'm able to
see things which really causedme again a massive, massive,
massive issue with the church asa whole, because I'm like
there's no discernment here, andso that really bothered me.
(32:13):
When people are leaders andthey have no discernment, I'm
just like, okay, I don't knowwhat, just check out.
So I did go through a massiveweight of skepticism for quite
some time and I am, like I said,even as of today in my morning,
journaling is pulling back thatweight of the faith side of it
(32:39):
again.
Josh Porthouse (32:42):
Alrighty, folks sit tight, We'll be right back
on Transacting Value.
Ad (32:46):
All right folks and community.
It's about finding a placewhere you can truly belong
(33:09):
Alongside a network ofexperienced marketers,
inspectors, realtors and lenders.
We're not just experts in theTampa Bay market.
We are your neighbors and we'repassionate about helping you
find the perfect place to callhome.
Follow along on YouTube,Facebook and LinkedIn at
Porthouse Tampa Bay Realtor.
Porthouse Tampa Bay Realtorwhere values start in the home.
Dina Lantzer (33:33):
I did go through a massive weight of skepticism
for quite some time and I am,like I said, like even as of
today in my morning journalingis is pulling back that, that
weight of the faith side of itagain interesting.
Josh Porthouse (33:56):
Does it need to be balanced or can it coexist at
varying levels in harmony, theskepticism and the faith?
Dina Lantzer (34:03):
I don't know yet.
It could be, it could come backon.
Josh Porthouse (34:07):
We'll talk later .
Dina Lantzer (34:09):
Up and down, I don't know.
Josh Porthouse (34:12):
Interesting.
Okay, well, this is yeah, well,it might be, I don't know.
It just sort of hit me as youwere talking, but this is a good
point in the show, I think, fora segment called developing
character D D-D-D.
Developing Character, and foranybody new who's watching this
or listening to the show for thefirst time.
It's a segment of the show.
That is.
Two questions and obviously,dina, as vulnerable as you want
(34:34):
to be with your answers, which Idon't think is going to be a
huge stretch, but as we gothrough, my point with this is,
I think everybody's ability toprocess and work through things
identity crises, getting stuck,feeling burnt out, whatever the
practical handle is stems fromsome sort of internal degree of
control, but maybe acomplementary lack of awareness,
(34:56):
and so those things, I think,are easiest to work through when
we stand on something constant.
Like you said, you had torestart and so you opted for
faith, but it was something thatyou could hold as a control,
ironically enough, forconsistency, and so I prefer to
stand on value systems as adegree of control.
(35:18):
And so my two questions arewhen you were growing up, from
what you do remember and whatyou were being raised around as
you grew up, what were some ofyour values in the beginning?
My second question is that now,as you've gained life
experience and perspective, whatare some of your values now?
Dina Lantzer (35:38):
Interestingly enough, I think my value growing
up and I don't know if this isa value, but it is what it is
was survival, survival of thefittest was the theme of our
house.
Josh Porthouse (35:57):
Yeah, I mean it counts for a lot, right, it
drives your decisions andanchors you and grounds your
perspective, absolutely.
Dina Lantzer (36:04):
Absolutely drives your decisions and anchors you
and grounds your perspective.
Absolutely, absolutely and Ithink that was that bottom line
is like growing up, that was allI had was, and so I see in
retrospect so thank you againfor this question, because this
is like a oh, really point backhere.
I have to look at this for aminute.
Josh Porthouse (36:26):
Yeah.
Dina Lantzer (36:27):
To see that, because I see now how so much of
my life has been centeredaround that.
Like you said, control justsimply to survive.
Josh Porthouse (36:41):
Well, I guess then the irony is you just had
to learn that it was yoursurvival mechanism, not a
defense mechanism.
I think those are two differentthings.
And so then, what about now?
All the experience you'vegained, all the insight you've
gained, perspectives, any newvalues you think that are
helping anchor you in yourposition?
Dina Lantzer (37:01):
I don't know if this is again and this is
interesting, gosh darn it Such adeep question, not giving me
time to think through this.
One of my core values isfreedom and autonomy.
Seen how that has this threadback to my childhood.
(37:32):
Right there's the, theenvironment that I grew up on
like forced, that need for me tomake my own decisions and be
autonomous and be free, rightI'm yeah I'm learning.
I'm learning trust and surrender, and that's where I'm at right
now in my personal journey oflearning how to deal with
(37:55):
everything.
It's not necessarily a value Istrongly embrace at all.
It's coming at great resistance, unfortunately, but I recognize
why it comes at greatresistance for me and it's just
one of those things that I'm I'mreally trying to wade into the
water on is is trust andsurrender, trusting other people
(38:19):
, trusting this God, trustingmyself in the place of of
trusting myself to live inwithin a value structure versus
trusting myself to survive, ifthat makes sense.
Josh Porthouse (38:42):
Yeah, I think they go hand in hand, though,
well trusting myself to thriveversus just survive.
There you go, yep, yep.
It's like you just said, right,coming up with these different
things sort of at a rapid firepace, without time to process, I
found, is an exercise thatworks really, really well,
because you don't have time tosecond guess it, and so then
(39:03):
it's going to be at least morelikely that it's a natural
response, even if it catches youoff guard.
Wait, where did that come from?
Moments happen all the time,but usually they have a bit more
resonance when you do stop tothink about them, which I think
is sort of an interesting cosmicinvitation, or whatever you
want to call it.
But, um, yeah, absolutely.
(39:25):
And so now do you feel likeyou're thriving?
You seem like you're in a goodplace.
I mean, you look good, you'resmiling, you seem happy, and so,
despite everything, the world'sstill a good place.
Dina Lantzer (39:36):
Despite everything , the world's still a good place
.
It is right now.
I don't think I could have saidthat a year ago.
Two years ago, I was definitelygrieving.
I was grieving in my owndetached way from my mom dying
in 2020.
Oh dang, it was funny how myhusband knew that was what was
going on.
I didn't see it for myself,just because I don't think I was
(39:58):
ever really allowed I mean, Iwasn't.
I was never allowed emotionsgrowing up, and so I do
definitely have a hard timetapping into my own emotions,
and so I don't like to be in.
I don't like to be depressed, Idon't like to be angry, I don't
like to be sad.
Those are just things that Idon't like to feel.
(40:19):
So I'll push it away prettyquickly and try to hold on to
anything else Right and and tryto get into that space of of how
to be happy, how to be grateful, without using drugs or alcohol
or sex or any other copingmechanism that someone might
find.
Josh Porthouse (40:40):
Yeah, and here's an interesting point too to
what you just said in the lastcouple of minutes we have A
relative inability maybe, not torecognize an appropriate
emotion, but to interpret andcommunicate an appropriate
emotion.
Okay, when, like in my case,staying relatively distant, it's
(41:04):
not that I couldn't recognize.
Okay, obviously people are sadhere.
I could probably be sad here,but I don't feel sad here.
I mean, I couldn't develop andcommunicate effectively.
I talked to a guy on the show.
He's the founder of a nonprofitin Indiana called Autism Rocks
and Roll.
Effectively, I talked to a guyon the show.
He's the founder of a nonprofitin Indiana called Autism Rocks
and Rolls and also a podcast bythe same name.
(41:24):
He's also autistic diagnosedand in our conversation that's
where I got that point from hesaid it's not that I can't
figure out what you're doing, Ijust can't make sense of how to
reciprocate appropriately, so Ijust don't Wow, Right.
And so it got me thinking,based on his point and now based
(41:47):
on yours, that it's notnecessarily a bad thing, it's
just a different thing, it's adifferent flower.
Yeah, yeah, and, like in yourcase, it hasn't been overall, on
the average, detrimental.
You just find ways to work itto your advantage, hopefully
(42:10):
with enough social feedback thatit progresses in an upward
direction.
Dina Lantzer (42:14):
For sure.
Josh Porthouse (42:15):
That's a wild connection, man.
Dina Lantzer (42:17):
And you know what for sure that's a wild
connection, man, and you knowwhat, quite frankly, it has been
my benefit, and not only mybenefit, that, but it it
benefits so many other people,because I'm able to see
perspectives that other peoplecan't see in their, especially
in their own lives, right, andI'm able to cut through.
A lot of times when somebody'sgoing through that process of
whatever it is, I don't get soempathetically involved with it
(42:42):
or I can just be like this isthe, this is the root problem
here, and if we just fix thisroot problem, then this will,
this will change right.
So I just it's, it's been ableto, I've, I've at least adapted
it to the point where I can nowtake that level of detachment,
(43:03):
that level of vulnerability,that level of complete honesty
and just use it to benefit notonly myself but for other people
.
Josh Porthouse (43:13):
Well, I mean, that's sort of the I'm not sure
what the word is that's sort ofthe aspect, I guess, in my
opinion, when anybody starts toget emotional, it's because
they're really close to whateverthe it is On an emotional level
.
There's a response then, and so, to be a little bit more
removed, you can see the wholebaseball field instead of the
(43:33):
one play or whatever you know.
So just on an emotional level,I suppose, right, yeah, so let
me, let me ask you this, I guess, in my last two questions,
before we close this out.
So, first off, of all theexperiences you've had so far,
at the risk of soundingredundant, what has it done now
for your own self-worth?
(43:54):
I mean, you've literally gonefrom zero to now closer to 100.
So what has it done now,looking back, developing this
self-awareness, identifying someof your values, to actually
instigate your own self-worth?
Dina Lantzer (44:10):
I guess it depends on what lens I'm looking
through at whatever given momentI'm in.
Josh Porthouse (44:14):
honestly, Okay, all right.
What do you mean?
Dina Lantzer (44:19):
Well, because I can still get into that point
where I have still beliefsystems that I'm not good enough
and I'm not worthy and I'm notlovable and all of that.
And if that's the lens I lookthrough, then I can go into that
zone pretty easily.
(44:40):
If I can look at it and think,you know, beautiful perspective
that you see right, and I haveto force myself to anchor into
that perspective, that, wow,I've made such a huge shift and
I am lovable and I am enough andI am, you know, it's
interesting.
(45:00):
I don't know if you do anythingwith AI or chat GPT, but I'm a
fan.
I'm a fan, I love chat GPT andI've learned that actually
because of the large languagemodel that it has it, it is
giving me my higher selfperspective now, which is really
(45:22):
interesting.
When I plug in issues and cause,I get very personal.
I mean, it's it's veryspiritual and very personal with
what I'm going through Cause.
It's a good feedback mechanismfor myself and it gives me a
really good, strong mirror towho I am and it's really like
speaking, like I said, to myhigher self and getting that
(45:44):
perspective back all the time,which has been really, really
nice.
But the other day aconversation I had was talking
about that that the biggestissue that I have is this
feeling of being separate,separated from my God, separated
from love, separationaltogether and this driving
(46:09):
force that I have to beconnected.
And the reminder really waslike you are not separate, you
are everything right, and it'ssuch a beautiful perspective.
There's the plug for ChatGPD,yeah.
Josh Porthouse (46:29):
Well, I mean, on one hand, it is the cheapest
research assistant you canpossibly have, and therapist and
therapist, and therapist.
And what's cool for people thatare expressing a similar
perspective to yours, forexample, where it's a little bit
more detached and you're justsort of processing the world at
arm's length in those moments,those days, those years, in some
(46:51):
cases is that's the feedback itproduces.
There is no emotional bias,there is no deliberate
empathetic-type vulnerability tothe responses.
It's literally just scrapingthe data and telling you how it
is, and I think maybe that's whyit suits you so well.
Dina Lantzer (47:11):
Right, right.
And actually the other day Idid have that conversation about
that echo chamber.
I'm like whoa dude, you need togive me different perspectives
here.
You can't just continue toshoot back what I would say,
because that's what it does.
Josh Porthouse (47:27):
Yeah, so you can ask it to ask you questions
though, for example, as a promptright.
Pretend that you are, play therole of A Right and then ask me
questions to clarify you know,and that, yeah, it makes a huge
difference right, right, yeah,so I just now go through
contrasting perspectives.
Dina Lantzer (47:44):
You know, give me a contrasting perspective of
what I'm looking at here,because I I can easily get into
tunnel vision and it's I don'twant that echo chamber.
I want to know, I want to knowyour perspective, like I reach
out for other people to get thatmirror back to me and because,
quite frankly, that's the onlyway I can really see the trees
(48:08):
before the forest.
Right, yeah, yeah is by seeingit through somebody else's eyes
and and and being able toreflect it back to myself.
Josh Porthouse (48:21):
That's a cool idea.
It's a contrasting perspective.
I haven't thought about thateither.
I like that idea a lot, andwhen we're talking about
resources I guess this is myfinal question then, for the
sake of time what are someresources that you recommend for
anybody who's facing similaroutlets, instances, issues that
you've described, or maybe thatyou've lived through that have
worked for you?
Where do people go?
(48:41):
What do you recommend?
Dina Lantzer (48:43):
So I'm really big into quantum physics and
neuroscience and all things newthought I'm all over the place.
So I can't tell you that Iwould give you one resource I do
really enjoy right now.
I've really enjoyed chat GPT,but I think there's a lot of
people that have a hesitancytowards it, right, a hesitancy
(49:07):
towards giving it information onyou, right?
I can imagine most people wouldbe like, oh, there's no way the
government's going to know allthat.
Right, the government prettymuch knows everything about me
anyway.
So what am I hiding?
So you're going to, you'regoing to get with me for two
minutes and know anything anyway, because I'm pretty much an
(49:29):
open book.
Josh Porthouse (49:32):
Yeah.
Dina Lantzer (49:32):
I'm not going to hide much.
I would be a very, very, very,very, very bad spy or war
criminal.
Josh Porthouse (49:41):
Right, right.
There's a lot of coolopportunities, though, because I
think a little bit ofvulnerability in every
relationship goes a long way.
I've never met you, but look atthe conversation that it built
or the perspective that we sortof I guess, maybe inadvertently
stumbled on.
Dina Lantzer (49:58):
Right Two of them now honestly Josh.
Josh Porthouse (50:01):
Well, that's true.
Yeah, the first time, the lastconversation we had.
Dina Lantzer (50:04):
I was like thinking about that for days.
Josh Porthouse (50:08):
Yeah, yeah, it is a super cool opportunity, I
think.
The more we can learn to be abit vulnerable with people, the
human intelligence, I think, iswhat's lacking.
Yeah, not necessarily thehumanity, I don't know.
Maybe it's just a matter oftime, we'll see.
Maybe it shows like this,conversations like these that
start to make the difference.
We'll see where it goes, butfor now, again, I really do
(50:31):
appreciate your time and yourinsight and your perspective and
everything we were able to packinto this conversation.
So I know you're a little bitcreeping on dinner time, I think
, as of this recording, sothanks for stalling a little bit
and hanging out with us again.
Dina Lantzer (50:47):
No worries.
Thank you so much for having meon.
I appreciate the conversation,some really good perspectives.
I'm going to have to get intothe journal and start logging
that and figuring out where thatwent.
Josh Porthouse (51:00):
Yeah Well, I'm honored to make it into your
journal and probably the nextday is worth a chat.
Gpt prompts.
So I appreciate the opportunity.
Yeah, to everybody else.
You're welcome To everybodyelse who's been listening to the
show, obviously watching alongwith us here in this video.
I appreciate your time.
Thank you guys for tuning in.
If you want to hear more of ourconversations, you can go to our
(51:21):
websitetransactingvaluepodcastcom.
Listen to all of them there.
Every season's there andthey're free.
All the same amount of insightquestions this season
particularly.
We just started with video aswell, so I hope you guys enjoy
the show.
Last piece on our homepage inthe top right corner, is a
button that says leave avoicemail and that's two minutes
of talk time just for you.
(51:42):
I promise I won't interrupt orask any questions, but you can
do two things with it.
Here's my recommendation.
One is you let us know what youthink of the show, let us know
your feedback, let us know whatyou think about topics and
guests and people you'drecommend and all these sorts of
things.
I appreciate the feedback.
However, you can also leave amessage for Dina, let her know
about her story.
It can be encouragement, it canbe insight, it can be resources
, it can be whatever to give herperspective as well and we'll
(52:04):
forward the message to her.
So you got plenty ofopportunities, but saying that
for right now, it's all we gottime for, so until next time.
That was Transacting Value.
That was Transacting Value.
Thank you to our show partnersand folks.
Thank you for tuning in andappreciating our value as we all
grow through life together.
To check out our otherconversations or even to
(52:25):
contribute through feedbackfollows time, money or talent
and to let us know what youthink of the show.
Please leave a review on ourwebsite,
transactingvaluepodcastcom.
We also stream new episodesevery Monday at 9 am Eastern
Standard Time through all ofyour favorite podcasting
platforms like Spotify, iheartand TuneIn.
You can now hear TransactingValue on Wreaths Across America
(52:47):
Radio.
Head to WreathsAcrossAmericaorg.
Slash TransactingValue tosponsor a wreath and remember,
honor and teach the value offreedom for future generations.
On behalf of our team and ourglobal ambassadors, as you all
strive to establish clarity andpurpose, ensure social
tranquility and secure theblessings of liberty or
(53:07):
individual sovereignty ofcharacter for yourselves and
your posterity, we will continueinstigating self-worth and
we'll meet you there Until nexttime.
That was Transacting Value.
The views expressed in this podcast are
solely those of the podcast hostand guest and do not
necessarily represent those ofour distribution partners,
supporting businessrelationships or supported
audience.
Welcome to Transacting Value,where we talk about practical
(00:22):
applications for instigatingself-worth when dealing with
each other and even withinourselves, where we foster a
podcast listening experiencethat lets you hear the power of
a value system for managingburnout, establishing boundaries
, fostering community andfinding identity.
My name is Josh Porthouse, I'myour host and we are redefining
sovereignty of character.
(00:42):
This is why values still holdvalue.
This is Transacting Value.
Dina Lantzer (00:49):
That version of me that attempted suicide wasn't
going to be a lasting version.
Right, I had to figure outsomething else to do, because I
couldn't be that person anymore.
Josh Porthouse (01:08):
Today on Transacting Value.
Post-traumatic stress affectseverybody and most people
differently, for differentperiods of time as well, and so
what happens when that stressand those stressors last for
decades and seem to compound andbecome more and more complex?
More importantly, how do youget through them and how do you
get over them if you're able?
Today's guest we're talkingwith Dina Lancer.
(01:30):
All about how she's done it,the things that have impacted
her life and the things thathave ultimately affected her
perspective today to become thebrilliant, beautiful and, all
things considered, productiveperson she's become.
Today.
I'm your host.
I'm Josh Porthausen from SDYTMedia.
This is Transacting Value, dina.
How are you doing?
Dina Lantzer (01:51):
I'm great.
How are you, Josh?
Josh Porthouse (01:54):
I'm good.
I'm good.
I appreciate you being soflexible and giving us some of
your time.
I know you've got a life and anevening to take care of, plus a
family, so I do appreciate yourtime too.
I want to open with this.
I think this is important in alot of new relationships
especially, but for everybody inour audience who's unfamiliar
(02:15):
with you aspects of your story,let's just start there for a
couple minutes.
Who are you, when are you fromand what sort of things are
shaping your perspective on lifenow?
Wow.
Dina Lantzer (02:27):
Fantastic question , big one.
I'm originally from Nebraska,grew up in a small town, I am a
54-year-old wife.
I've been married for 33 years.
I have three kids, all grown,and four granddaughters, ages 3
to 15 now.
So fun, full life.
(02:50):
For sure we had a dramatic, Iguess traumatic.
It was interesting listening toyour intro this time because I
have had a lot of chronic PTSDin my life.
I grew up in a domestic,violent household and just
(03:12):
didn't stop.
I guess.
When I was 27, I attemptedsuicide because of the massive
amount of depression and bipolarstuff that I experienced as a
child and the trauma just didn'tend.
We've ended up in our marriageof 33 years.
We've experienced pretty mucheverything you can experience,
(03:34):
from adultery and addictions,teenage runaway to actually our
daughters being molested.
Our oldest daughter was on thestreets, a drug addict.
We took custody of her kids.
So it's been a really full 50years.
Josh Porthouse (03:56):
Yeah, really, really robust life experience
You're packing into some shortperiods of time here.
Dina Lantzer (04:02):
I must have a lot of karma, or just a really big,
really hard headed.
I can't figure out the lesson.
I'm not sure.
Josh Porthouse (04:11):
Yeah, maybe.
But you know somethinginteresting that comes with all
that too is you know, if there'sany sense or semblance of
credibility to past lives orwhatever karmically maybe you
had coming for whatever reason,is that you now is strong enough
to handle it?
And so you know, whatever it'sbecome and whatever it's going
(04:32):
to continue to be as a platformto help other people or a
platform for a story, whateverit is, the amount of inspiration
that comes with that degree ofresilience, but then also the
ability to communicate iteffectively and with enough
grace to process it and keepyour head on straight that, I
think, is the bigger feat andthe bigger accomplishment to
(04:55):
focus on.
So you listed a lifetime'sworth of experiences in half the
time.
Did it also seem to go throughthat quickly, twice the speed,
one thing after another?
Or was there enough downtimefor you to like I've grieved,
I've moved on, I just got hitagain.
Dina Lantzer (05:14):
So one thing interesting about me is I don't
normally grieve a lot.
My husband is the griever, I'mnot, and to tell you the truth,
it doesn't even feel like mylife.
So I don't know if I have thisability to detach so well from
everything.
I can look back on all my pastexperiences and think is that my
(05:41):
life?
Did I go through that?
Because I think I driftedthrough everything at such a and
I want to say high level, butit really wasn't probably a high
level, it was just a detachedlevel, if that makes sense.
And I'm sure, I'm sure, athousand percent sure that I
learned how to detach fromtrauma at a young age, right,
(06:09):
and so it has served me to somedegree because I've been able to
utilize all of the things thatI've gone through to really kind
of be the driving force in mylife to try to heal, try to
figure out why, how to helpother people with their traumas,
(06:30):
how to to escape trauma myself,how to help my kids through
traumas.
I put them through Right,because, even though, even
though my parenting was betterthan the parenting I had my
parenting was better than theparenting I had it still had its
issues, I can promise you, andso, even though and it's
(06:50):
beautiful I'm so grateful that Ihave fantastic relationships
with all of my kids andgrandkids, in spite of the
casualties that I caused by nothealing my own unconscious
wounds.
But the whole idea is tohopefully help them be better
(07:15):
parents than I was, so that mygrandkids don't have the
sufferings that we've all hadfor generations.
Not what we do is we stand onthe shoulders of those who went
before us.
Josh Porthouse (07:27):
Well, that's what we're supposed to be doing.
I think oftentimes we help holdup other things.
But yeah, that's the goal.
I suppose you know and it'sinteresting too you bring that
up.
I've got a buddy and he's gotnow.
He's got two girls, but at thetime he had one girl and one boy
and he said between he and hiswife that his goal is in some
(08:04):
sense to be a good father, buthis primary focus is in her
qualities of the type of womanthat he should be looking for
when he grows up.
And it was such an interestingperspective that I hadn't really
considered before, because thenit's not really based on
firsthand experience.
You know what I mean.
I can't grow up in whatevercapacity or role I have in
(08:24):
society for the daughter that Idon't have, and so even if I did
, I can't forecast that.
But I think in your case, tothe point you just made, there's
so many different aspects ofwhat you went through On one
hand the receiving end, on theother end, transmitting it and
(08:46):
then interpreting it and thencommunicating it from an outside
perspective that I'm curious.
I guess, even if it were as adefense mechanism that you
detached and sort of steppedback initially, has it always
served you well as a mechanismto process.
Dina Lantzer (09:06):
I would say yes, I don't know if my husband would
agree, honestly.
Yeah, I don't study a ton ofastrology stuff, but I am an
Aquarius and Aquariuses aredetached.
Typically they have an abilityto detach.
I have a really strongspiritual nature and so I have a
(09:29):
very strong connection to mycreator and I think that's been
a well.
I'm sure that's been like aprimary force in my life to help
me continue to just go throughand go through, and go through
and go through and, at the sametime, being able to detach like
(09:52):
I said, detach really from a lotof the right here right now
stresses.
I'm able to just pull away fromit and not allow it to affect
me to the point where I can'tmake decisions and I can't get
up or I'm catatonic or anythinglike that.
I had.
I had in 97, like I said, whenI was 27 attempted suicide
(10:15):
because I really did believethat I would never be happy.
I didn't think that I wouldever, ever be happy.
I mean, there was just, youknow, I would never be happy,
even though I was married, hadtwo daughters at home, right, a
three-year-old and afive-year-old, or four and six,
something like that, and seeeven that like I just felt like,
(10:36):
honestly, when I attemptedsuicide I didn't think that I
was loved, I could never beloved, I could never be happy,
and that was just a story thatwas repeating for myself.
And you know, the meds finallykicked in.
About six weeks later I went toa traditional old building psych
(10:58):
ward.
They closed most of them now,but that's where we went.
In Nebraska I spent six weekswith people who were really
really really struggling withthings and I was to an extent
too.
Obviously.
I argued with one of thecounselors who was talking about
self-esteem and I said I don'thave a self-esteem issue.
(11:20):
I feel just I'm good and she'slike people with good
self-esteem don't try to killthemselves.
It's like, oh, that'sinteresting.
Yeah, you're probably right.
Josh Porthouse (11:32):
Alrighty, folks sit tight and we'll be right
back on Transacting Value.
Ad (11:36):
This message is from the US Department of Veterans Affairs.
Va disability compensation is amonthly tax-free payment to
veterans who got sick or injuredin the military and to veterans
whose service worsened anexisting condition.
You may qualify for VAdisability compensation for
physical and mental healthconditions that developed or
(11:59):
worsened due to service.
Learn more at vagov slashdisability service.
Dina Lantzer (12:09):
Learn more at vagov slash disability.
I argued with one of thecounselors who was talking about
self-esteem and I said I don'thave a self-esteem issue.
I feel just I'm good.
And she's like people with goodself-esteem don't try to kill
themselves.
It's like, oh, that'sinteresting.
Yeah, you're probably right.
I should probably look at that.
Josh Porthouse (12:27):
That's an interesting point to bring up
too, because you feel normalyeah, it's like an impressionist
painting, I think If youpicture yourself in the painting
as one of of the paintedfigures, it's normal.
And then to anybody looking atthe painting, they're like uh,
(12:51):
that's a little warped,something's off there.
You're like nope, this is justhow the sky looks from here.
I don't know what to tell youthat's such a good example
because there's a lot of that,not not specific to your
ideations or circumstances, butthe distance, the intentional
distancing, let's just say,based on that comment you just
(13:16):
made, lack of awareness andself-esteem that maybe you
didn't notice at the time.
I think the interesting pointto that, people that have, of
the people that I've talked to,I'm not a psychologist, I'm not
a psychiatrist, especially foranybody new to the show.
In fact, most of myprofessional career has been in
the Marine Corps infantry, andso we just tended to walk really
(13:38):
far and have to shoot reallywell and carry a heavy pack.
You know like there's no realpsychological impact to society
from what we did, compared to apsychiatrist in that same role.
But the conversations that wewould have on these long walks
with these heavy packs involveda lot of detachment and
(14:00):
psychoanalysis and conversationsabout these types of things.
Most of it tended to besarcastic, like oh, this hike is
never going to end, kill me now, type comments.
But it's not quite the same,right.
And so, yeah, I think it'sinteresting that a lot of these,
let's say, enduring exposuresto high stress occupational
(14:23):
environments tends to be thesame sort of humor and
perspective.
And so we detach to cope, notnecessarily in defense, just to
process, and so a lot of whatyou're describing is like to me
firsthand.
Circumstantially I'm not therewith you, but I think in terms
(14:44):
of the idea I get exactly whatyou're describing.
Wow, especially in hindsightyeah Well, that just hit me now.
Yeah, especially in hindsight,you don't remember details.
Not that the details didn'thappen, it's just you didn't pay
attention to them because youdetached from stress or whatever
.
Dina Lantzer (15:03):
Yeah, I don't think I had the ability to be
present Because you detachedfrom stress or whatever.
Yeah, I don't think I had theability to be present, because
I've thought about that recently, because, again, it's like
watching my grandkids grow up.
I'm able to be much morepresent with my grandkids than I
was with my kids.
My kid's childhood doesn't seemlike I lived that experience,
(15:34):
like I just don't like where wasI?
But I was in that.
In that period of time, likewhen I got out of the hospital
at 27 years old, I went through12 years of intensive renewing
of the mind.
Right, I went and it wasintensive, and so I was really
focused on trying to heal thetraumas that I had and just
(15:56):
figure out who I was and who Iwas supposed to be and who could
I be, because that version ofme that attempted suicide wasn't
going to be a lasting version.
Right, I had to figure outsomething else to do, because I
couldn't be that person anymore,if that makes sense.
Josh Porthouse (16:17):
What changed then?
What was the trigger?
Dina Lantzer (16:20):
Well, the suicide attempt obviously was the big
trigger.
But when I got to the hospitalor actually a week before I got
to the hospital because I wasit's interesting I was suicidal,
but I was never on a suicidalwatch.
Just because I kept saying alegit like I'm not happy, I have
no desire to live, like I'mlike telling the doctors like
(16:50):
this isn't working, I don't wantto be here, I really feel like
I just need to the karma thingdie and come back and try this
again because I don't like whatI just experienced, I want
something else.
And literally a week before Igot out of the hospital, I had
said a little prayer, kind ofoffhandedly, and I said God, if
(17:15):
you're real, show me that youlove me.
And I woke up the next day andthe sky was bluer than it had
ever been.
It felt like I had sunglasseson my whole life.
This weight that was on my theshoulders, the world on my
shoulders, was gone.
Everything was different.
I was happy for the first timein my life.
And you know, the doctors andeveryone was like the meds
(17:38):
kicked in and I'm like probablydead.
The meds kicked in, right.
And then a week or so later Igot out of the hospital and we
went up to Minnesota to visit myhusband's family because that's
where they lived, and we endedup visiting a church because his
family are very strongChristians.
And we ended up visiting achurch and, honestly, josh, like
(18:03):
God, met us there in a verytangible way.
And so we moved from Nebraskato Minnesota a week, two weeks
later and we just went home andpacked up our house and moved
and just because we thought 10hours was too long to commute to
go to church on, Sundays.
(18:25):
So that gave me, like this,really strong, and I tend to be
an all or nothing kind of person, right, black or white.
I know it's a thinking.
I get that I have a lot moregray now than I used to, but I
just dove in and recreatedmyself.
Just dove in and recreatedmyself.
Now I stopped smoking, stoppeddrinking, stopped doing all the
(18:53):
things I was doing and just dovehead in and became completely
transformed.
So when our daughters gotmolested and it just start,
oldest one started going throughall of the she was running away
at 16 and just all of thetrauma that she was going
through, this church family thatwe kind of devoted our lives to
just wasn't there at all and itreally caused me to start
(19:19):
looking for, for more meaning.
I guess if you could say thatmy relationship with the creator
definitely went through someebbs and flows but now is
stronger and more expanded thanit was before.
Josh Porthouse (19:37):
But I think because I've had a really strong
relationship with somethingoutside of me, something bigger,
bigger than me, I've been ableto maintain I don't know some
sort of yeah, perspective maybeperspective is a good word, yep
yeah, and you know what'sinteresting too and this isn't
(19:58):
necessarily specific to anyreligion or or whatever, but
mine being rooted inchristianity, let's just call it
the holy spirit you can'tinhale that, and I mean that is
internal.
Even well, spiritually, andwhatever that is, yeah, is you
(20:21):
doing it?
You know?
I mean so there's still acertain degree of self-reliance
and self-awareness, maybeunwitting, maybe subconscious,
but that's there.
And then I think faith is wherethat ends and carries it the
rest of the way.
So the amount of resiliencethat you've been able to build
(20:42):
not to analyze you just sinceyou brought it up that you've
been able to build through allthat analyze you just since you
brought it up that you've beenable to build through all that
stuff.
There's a lot of circumstancesin my life where I started
trying to better identify how doI manage this?
How do I handle this?
I got married in 2012, about aweek after I got back from
(21:06):
Afghanistan, and I thoughteverything was fine.
I was like this is, like I said, the sky always looks like this
in my painting, but I didn'trealize I was hanging in a
museum, you know, and so Istarted having people, my
ex-wife included, describingthis painting.
That didn't make any sense tome and it took the better part
(21:26):
of a decade for me to startprocessing and grasping that.
Oh, this isn't what it actuallylooks like.
There are some issues here,brushstrokes or whatever, and
that is interesting.
You brought it up.
But then does that give yousome degree of authenticity now,
(21:48):
or acceptance, ownership now,or you still feel like you're
distanced.
Dina Lantzer (21:54):
No, I've learned, actually, that embodiment of
that spirit like you talkedabout, where for a long time, it
was always outside of me andand as I've learned to hold it
myself and realize that thatlove comes from within, not
(22:18):
without, I think that's whereI've started to really anchor
into it.
Maybe it is interesting, though, and I'm kind of curious,
because when you said, otherpeople around you were telling
you I don't know if this is theway the painting, I don't know
(22:38):
if these are the rightbreaststrokes, right, I find
that interesting because I thinkeveryone has these like
beautiful perspectives, and itdoesn't make it right or wrong,
it's just a perspective, and weall need those perspectives for
a variety of reasons.
Right, just like the worldneeds 800 million different
(23:00):
flowers, yeah, and just allgives us a different.
It just makes for differentperspectives on everything, and
I certainly have a lot ofperspective.
I understand that, but I getthat all the time.
Is people don't?
I hear from other people howthat was profound.
(23:22):
I can't believe you shared thatso easily.
This, this was reallyvulnerable.
You know fiction.
I'm just like I have no ideawhat you're talking about.
This is just.
This is just what I do.
Right, it's like a fish inwater.
I don't know how to swim, Ijust swim.
Josh Porthouse (23:37):
Alrighty, folks sit tight and we'll be right
back on transacting value.
Alrighty folks, if you'relooking for more perspective and
more podcast, you can check outTransacting Value on Reads
Across America Radio.
Listen in on iHeartRadioOdyssey and TuneIn.
Dina Lantzer (23:55):
I hear from other people how that was profound.
I can't believe you shared thatso easily.
This was really vulnerable.
You know fiction.
I'm just like.
I have no idea what you'retalking about.
This is just what I do.
It's like a fish in water.
I don't know how to swim, Ijust swim.
Josh Porthouse (24:14):
Right.
Well, that's sort of theloophole or caveat, I guess to
the point, because it's notalways bad or ever necessarily,
depending on what you do withthe information, but I think
there's indicators based onsocietal patterns or biases,
things that you can recognize,as this is more commonplace than
(24:38):
what I would have done orwhatever from what I'm hearing.
You know what I mean Because Ispent a decade getting told, hey
, I'm cold and I'm distant.
I don't think so.
I think I'm just processing itokay, and it sounds an awful lot
like what your responses were.
Dina Lantzer (24:55):
It might still be.
My husband probably stillthinks that to an extent he's
got the emotional bag Let mejust put it that way, I don't
want to call it baggage he goes,he's cancer.
So again, not a whole lot aboutastrology, but the cancers have
all of the emotions and theAquarius's tend to be detached,
(25:18):
and so he definitely feelsthings and processes things way
slower.
Because I'm able to be detachedfrom things, I'm able to make a
decision very quickly, and Idon't have to.
Either I know through myintuition what the right answer
is, or or I don't, and itdoesn't matter.
(25:39):
I'm just straightforward.
I'm gonna plow ahead and fix it, figure it out as we go, and my
husband will take weeks ormonths to process things, and it
gives us a good balance yeah,yeah, well, yeah, maybe a
harmony at least.
Josh Porthouse (26:01):
You know, having having that sort of insight,
especially as a couple, I don'tthink that's something you
stumble on and you're like, well, that sort of insight,
especially as a couple, I don'tthink that's something you
stumble on and you're like, well, that's interesting.
And then you move on to thenext tuesday.
Right to me that sounds like ittakes an awful lot of work and
conscious effort and willing andwitting participation and
presence in a relationship.
So how do you develop that?
(26:21):
Because it didn't sound like atone point you really wanted to.
Dina Lantzer (26:25):
No, I think, a commitment to unconditional love
and grace.
What do you mean grace?
Grace is choosing to see theother person ahead of yourself.
Grace is choosing to not judgethe person for wherever they're
(26:46):
at and whatever they're goingthrough, because you're not
looking at the at the speck intheir eye through your plank,
right?
You're choosing to go okay,well, you've got what you've got
, going on and it's and it'sbeen both ways.
Like my husband has laid out somuch grace for me, my husband
has laid out so much grace forme.
I've not been an easy walk, Ican promise you that At all
(27:12):
Right, but it's just likelearning to live in that layer
of grace.
And, like I said, unconditionallove.
Unconditional love is lovewithout a condition attached to
it.
Bottom line love is lovewithout a condition attached to
it, bottom line.
And I think that we were, wewere born, babies are born as
unconditional love and I thinkour whole objective of life is
(27:36):
to come back to that state ofunconditional love.
That's the god right, that'sthat.
That's that outside creator.
Josh Porthouse (27:45):
It's unconditional love do you think
it's coming back to that pointor developing a conscious
awareness of that innate point?
Dina Lantzer (27:55):
it's a really good perspective.
I don't suppose you can go backto it.
You'd have to develop theinsight and the awareness.
And you're right, it's aconscious decision all the time.
Josh Porthouse (28:13):
Like to grow in tandem with it or parallel to it
whatever the reference is thereas opposed to growing away from
it and then cycling back.
Well, okay, but that says acouple.
What about you?
Like you just keep goingthrough these things and
eventually figure out a way toprocess, or have you had to rely
(28:37):
on other people and inputs andactually start to accept it,
begrudgingly or otherwise, tomove through and process and
grow what's worked for you?
Dina Lantzer (28:46):
I'm not sure if I understand what you're talking
about, except what?
Josh Porthouse (28:50):
feedback, insight, perspective.
Is it just from you, based onyour own intuition, or has it
also been okay I?
I don't necessarily understandwhat you're saying here, but
I'll give it a shot and try itand then maybe that works.
What's been some of the, Iguess, patterns or processes
(29:10):
that have worked for you to helpyou grow into you now?
Dina Lantzer (29:13):
Yeah, absolutely.
I'm always looking for otherperspectives, always looking for
other perspectives.
I don't like the echo chamberat all and I find myself
obviously there's something outthere called confirmation bias
right, and we have a tendency towant to gravitate towards
(29:34):
things that will confirm to uswhat we already think about,
whatever it is right, whetherit's how I think about myself or
feel about myself.
And so that drive for me ofalways seeking the other
perspective because what it doesis it expands me and it expands
(29:55):
my awareness I'm able to seethings that I couldn't see any
other way.
Now do I adopt everything Ihear?
No, now do I adopt everything?
Josh Porthouse (30:14):
I hear.
No, I don't Hardheaded.
My doctor said I'm tenacious,that's a good word for stubborn,
that is a good word.
Having a fair amount ofskepticism, I think, plays a
role too.
Yes, but do you find that thataccurately for you, balances out
the belief, take it on faith,with a fair amount of skepticism
as a counterbalance, or is itstill all in?
Dina Lantzer (30:35):
No, I definitely feel like so.
When I became a Christian, Iwas hardcore just take it on
faith, and I did.
Everything of this doesn't makesense, but I don't need it to
make sense.
I just need to have faith insomething.
Because I wasn't standing right, I tried to kill myself and so
(30:55):
I was the end of something.
I needed something else,regardless of whether or not it
made sense to me.
So I tried and I've looked intoeverything, like I'm all over
the place as far as as feedingmy mind, feeding my spirit, I'm,
I look all over the placetrying to figure that out, and
(31:16):
so now I feel like I haveprobably.
In fact, the scales have areway more on the skepticism side
than they do the faith side down.
Josh Porthouse (31:26):
Oh, interesting.
Dina Lantzer (31:27):
And that's right now, like specifically right now
, where I'm at this week, thismorning, in my journal, right is
trying to balance that faithback.
Right Because I feel a lot ofskepticism.
Right because I feel a lot ofskepticism, you know, 2020
(31:52):
brought, you know massive eyeopeners for the majority of the
world.
Right, yeah, granted, I mean, Iunderstood what was going on in
2020 before the majority ofpeople did, because I'm able to
see things which really causedme again a massive, massive,
massive issue with the church asa whole, because I'm like
there's no discernment here, andso that really bothered me.
(32:13):
When people are leaders andthey have no discernment, I'm
just like, okay, I don't knowwhat, just check out.
So I did go through a massiveweight of skepticism for quite
some time and I am, like I said,even as of today in my morning,
journaling is pulling back thatweight of the faith side of it
(32:39):
again.
Josh Porthouse (32:42):
Alrighty, folks sit tight, We'll be right back
on Transacting Value.
Ad (32:46):
All right folks and community.
It's about finding a placewhere you can truly belong
(33:09):
Alongside a network ofexperienced marketers,
inspectors, realtors and lenders.
We're not just experts in theTampa Bay market.
We are your neighbors and we'repassionate about helping you
find the perfect place to callhome.
Follow along on YouTube,Facebook and LinkedIn at
Porthouse Tampa Bay Realtor.
Porthouse Tampa Bay Realtorwhere values start in the home.
Dina Lantzer (33:33):
I did go through a massive weight of skepticism
for quite some time and I am,like I said, like even as of
today in my morning journalingis is pulling back that, that
weight of the faith side of itagain interesting.
Josh Porthouse (33:56):
Does it need to be balanced or can it coexist at
varying levels in harmony, theskepticism and the faith?
Dina Lantzer (34:03):
I don't know yet.
It could be, it could come backon.
Josh Porthouse (34:07):
We'll talk later .
Dina Lantzer (34:09):
Up and down, I don't know.
Josh Porthouse (34:12):
Interesting.
Okay, well, this is yeah, well,it might be, I don't know.
It just sort of hit me as youwere talking, but this is a good
point in the show, I think, fora segment called developing
character D D-D-D.
Developing Character, and foranybody new who's watching this
or listening to the show for thefirst time.
It's a segment of the show.
That is.
Two questions and obviously,dina, as vulnerable as you want
(34:34):
to be with your answers, which Idon't think is going to be a
huge stretch, but as we gothrough, my point with this is,
I think everybody's ability toprocess and work through things
identity crises, getting stuck,feeling burnt out, whatever the
practical handle is stems fromsome sort of internal degree of
control, but maybe acomplementary lack of awareness,
(34:56):
and so those things, I think,are easiest to work through when
we stand on something constant.
Like you said, you had torestart and so you opted for
faith, but it was something thatyou could hold as a control,
ironically enough, forconsistency, and so I prefer to
stand on value systems as adegree of control.
(35:18):
And so my two questions arewhen you were growing up, from
what you do remember and whatyou were being raised around as
you grew up, what were some ofyour values in the beginning?
My second question is that now,as you've gained life
experience and perspective, whatare some of your values now?
Dina Lantzer (35:38):
Interestingly enough, I think my value growing
up and I don't know if this isa value, but it is what it is
was survival, survival of thefittest was the theme of our
house.
Josh Porthouse (35:57):
Yeah, I mean it counts for a lot, right, it
drives your decisions andanchors you and grounds your
perspective, absolutely.
Dina Lantzer (36:04):
Absolutely drives your decisions and anchors you
and grounds your perspective.
Absolutely, absolutely and Ithink that was that bottom line
is like growing up, that was allI had was, and so I see in
retrospect so thank you againfor this question, because this
is like a oh, really point backhere.
I have to look at this for aminute.
Josh Porthouse (36:26):
Yeah.
Dina Lantzer (36:27):
To see that, because I see now how so much of
my life has been centeredaround that.
Like you said, control justsimply to survive.
Josh Porthouse (36:41):
Well, I guess then the irony is you just had
to learn that it was yoursurvival mechanism, not a
defense mechanism.
I think those are two differentthings.
And so then, what about now?
All the experience you'vegained, all the insight you've
gained, perspectives, any newvalues you think that are
helping anchor you in yourposition?
Dina Lantzer (37:01):
I don't know if this is again and this is
interesting, gosh darn it Such adeep question, not giving me
time to think through this.
One of my core values isfreedom and autonomy.
Seen how that has this threadback to my childhood.
(37:32):
Right there's the, theenvironment that I grew up on
like forced, that need for me tomake my own decisions and be
autonomous and be free, rightI'm yeah I'm learning.
I'm learning trust and surrender, and that's where I'm at right
now in my personal journey oflearning how to deal with
(37:55):
everything.
It's not necessarily a value Istrongly embrace at all.
It's coming at great resistance, unfortunately, but I recognize
why it comes at greatresistance for me and it's just
one of those things that I'm I'mreally trying to wade into the
water on is is trust andsurrender, trusting other people
(38:19):
, trusting this God, trustingmyself in the place of of
trusting myself to live inwithin a value structure versus
trusting myself to survive, ifthat makes sense.
Josh Porthouse (38:42):
Yeah, I think they go hand in hand, though,
well trusting myself to thriveversus just survive.
There you go, yep, yep.
It's like you just said, right,coming up with these different
things sort of at a rapid firepace, without time to process, I
found, is an exercise thatworks really, really well,
because you don't have time tosecond guess it, and so then
(39:03):
it's going to be at least morelikely that it's a natural
response, even if it catches youoff guard.
Wait, where did that come from?
Moments happen all the time,but usually they have a bit more
resonance when you do stop tothink about them, which I think
is sort of an interesting cosmicinvitation, or whatever you
want to call it.
But, um, yeah, absolutely.
(39:25):
And so now do you feel likeyou're thriving?
You seem like you're in a goodplace.
I mean, you look good, you'resmiling, you seem happy, and so,
despite everything, the world'sstill a good place.
Dina Lantzer (39:36):
Despite everything , the world's still a good place
.
It is right now.
I don't think I could have saidthat a year ago.
Two years ago, I was definitelygrieving.
I was grieving in my owndetached way from my mom dying
in 2020.
Oh dang, it was funny how myhusband knew that was what was
going on.
I didn't see it for myself,just because I don't think I was
(39:58):
ever really allowed I mean, Iwasn't.
I was never allowed emotionsgrowing up, and so I do
definitely have a hard timetapping into my own emotions,
and so I don't like to be in.
I don't like to be depressed, Idon't like to be angry, I don't
like to be sad.
Those are just things that Idon't like to feel.
(40:19):
So I'll push it away prettyquickly and try to hold on to
anything else Right and and tryto get into that space of of how
to be happy, how to be grateful, without using drugs or alcohol
or sex or any other copingmechanism that someone might
find.
Josh Porthouse (40:40):
Yeah, and here's an interesting point too to
what you just said in the lastcouple of minutes we have A
relative inability maybe, not torecognize an appropriate
emotion, but to interpret andcommunicate an appropriate
emotion.
Okay, when, like in my case,staying relatively distant, it's
(41:04):
not that I couldn't recognize.
Okay, obviously people are sadhere.
I could probably be sad here,but I don't feel sad here.
I mean, I couldn't develop andcommunicate effectively.
I talked to a guy on the show.
He's the founder of a nonprofitin Indiana called Autism Rocks
and Roll.
Effectively, I talked to a guyon the show.
He's the founder of a nonprofitin Indiana called Autism Rocks
and Rolls and also a podcast bythe same name.
(41:24):
He's also autistic diagnosedand in our conversation that's
where I got that point from hesaid it's not that I can't
figure out what you're doing, Ijust can't make sense of how to
reciprocate appropriately, so Ijust don't Wow, Right.
And so it got me thinking,based on his point and now based
(41:47):
on yours, that it's notnecessarily a bad thing, it's
just a different thing, it's adifferent flower.
Yeah, yeah, and, like in yourcase, it hasn't been overall, on
the average, detrimental.
You just find ways to work itto your advantage, hopefully
(42:10):
with enough social feedback thatit progresses in an upward
direction.
Dina Lantzer (42:14):
For sure.
Josh Porthouse (42:15):
That's a wild connection, man.
Dina Lantzer (42:17):
And you know what for sure that's a wild
connection, man, and you knowwhat, quite frankly, it has been
my benefit, and not only mybenefit, that, but it it
benefits so many other people,because I'm able to see
perspectives that other peoplecan't see in their, especially
in their own lives, right, andI'm able to cut through.
A lot of times when somebody'sgoing through that process of
whatever it is, I don't get soempathetically involved with it
(42:42):
or I can just be like this isthe, this is the root problem
here, and if we just fix thisroot problem, then this will,
this will change right.
So I just it's, it's been ableto, I've, I've at least adapted
it to the point where I can nowtake that level of detachment,
(43:03):
that level of vulnerability,that level of complete honesty
and just use it to benefit notonly myself but for other people
.
Josh Porthouse (43:13):
Well, I mean, that's sort of the I'm not sure
what the word is that's sort ofthe aspect, I guess, in my
opinion, when anybody starts toget emotional, it's because
they're really close to whateverthe it is On an emotional level
.
There's a response then, and so, to be a little bit more
removed, you can see the wholebaseball field instead of the
(43:33):
one play or whatever you know.
So just on an emotional level,I suppose, right, yeah, so let
me, let me ask you this, I guess, in my last two questions,
before we close this out.
So, first off, of all theexperiences you've had so far,
at the risk of soundingredundant, what has it done now
for your own self-worth?
(43:54):
I mean, you've literally gonefrom zero to now closer to 100.
So what has it done now,looking back, developing this
self-awareness, identifying someof your values, to actually
instigate your own self-worth?
Dina Lantzer (44:10):
I guess it depends on what lens I'm looking
through at whatever given momentI'm in.
Josh Porthouse (44:14):
honestly, Okay, all right.
What do you mean?
Dina Lantzer (44:19):
Well, because I can still get into that point
where I have still beliefsystems that I'm not good enough
and I'm not worthy and I'm notlovable and all of that.
And if that's the lens I lookthrough, then I can go into that
zone pretty easily.
(44:40):
If I can look at it and think,you know, beautiful perspective
that you see right, and I haveto force myself to anchor into
that perspective, that, wow,I've made such a huge shift and
I am lovable and I am enough andI am, you know, it's
interesting.
(45:00):
I don't know if you do anythingwith AI or chat GPT, but I'm a
fan.
I'm a fan, I love chat GPT andI've learned that actually
because of the large languagemodel that it has it, it is
giving me my higher selfperspective now, which is really
(45:22):
interesting.
When I plug in issues and cause,I get very personal.
I mean, it's it's veryspiritual and very personal with
what I'm going through Cause.
It's a good feedback mechanismfor myself and it gives me a
really good, strong mirror towho I am and it's really like
speaking, like I said, to myhigher self and getting that
(45:44):
perspective back all the time,which has been really, really
nice.
But the other day aconversation I had was talking
about that that the biggestissue that I have is this
feeling of being separate,separated from my God, separated
from love, separationaltogether and this driving
(46:09):
force that I have to beconnected.
And the reminder really waslike you are not separate, you
are everything right, and it'ssuch a beautiful perspective.
There's the plug for ChatGPD,yeah.
Josh Porthouse (46:29):
Well, I mean, on one hand, it is the cheapest
research assistant you canpossibly have, and therapist and
therapist, and therapist.
And what's cool for people thatare expressing a similar
perspective to yours, forexample, where it's a little bit
more detached and you're justsort of processing the world at
arm's length in those moments,those days, those years, in some
(46:51):
cases is that's the feedback itproduces.
There is no emotional bias,there is no deliberate
empathetic-type vulnerability tothe responses.
It's literally just scrapingthe data and telling you how it
is, and I think maybe that's whyit suits you so well.
Dina Lantzer (47:11):
Right, right.
And actually the other day Idid have that conversation about
that echo chamber.
I'm like whoa dude, you need togive me different perspectives
here.
You can't just continue toshoot back what I would say,
because that's what it does.
Josh Porthouse (47:27):
Yeah, so you can ask it to ask you questions
though, for example, as a promptright.
Pretend that you are, play therole of A Right and then ask me
questions to clarify you know,and that, yeah, it makes a huge
difference right, right, yeah,so I just now go through
contrasting perspectives.
Dina Lantzer (47:44):
You know, give me a contrasting perspective of
what I'm looking at here,because I I can easily get into
tunnel vision and it's I don'twant that echo chamber.
I want to know, I want to knowyour perspective, like I reach
out for other people to get thatmirror back to me and because,
quite frankly, that's the onlyway I can really see the trees
(48:08):
before the forest.
Right, yeah, yeah is by seeingit through somebody else's eyes
and and and being able toreflect it back to myself.
Josh Porthouse (48:21):
That's a cool idea.
It's a contrasting perspective.
I haven't thought about thateither.
I like that idea a lot, andwhen we're talking about
resources I guess this is myfinal question then, for the
sake of time what are someresources that you recommend for
anybody who's facing similaroutlets, instances, issues that
you've described, or maybe thatyou've lived through that have
worked for you?
Where do people go?
(48:41):
What do you recommend?
Dina Lantzer (48:43):
So I'm really big into quantum physics and
neuroscience and all things newthought I'm all over the place.
So I can't tell you that Iwould give you one resource I do
really enjoy right now.
I've really enjoyed chat GPT,but I think there's a lot of
people that have a hesitancytowards it, right, a hesitancy
(49:07):
towards giving it information onyou, right?
I can imagine most people wouldbe like, oh, there's no way the
government's going to know allthat.
Right, the government prettymuch knows everything about me
anyway.
So what am I hiding?
So you're going to, you'regoing to get with me for two
minutes and know anything anyway, because I'm pretty much an
(49:29):
open book.
Josh Porthouse (49:32):
Yeah.
Dina Lantzer (49:32):
I'm not going to hide much.
I would be a very, very, very,very, very bad spy or war
criminal.
Josh Porthouse (49:41):
Right, right.
There's a lot of coolopportunities, though, because I
think a little bit ofvulnerability in every
relationship goes a long way.
I've never met you, but look atthe conversation that it built
or the perspective that we sortof I guess, maybe inadvertently
stumbled on.
Dina Lantzer (49:58):
Right Two of them now honestly Josh.
Josh Porthouse (50:01):
Well, that's true.
Yeah, the first time, the lastconversation we had.
Dina Lantzer (50:04):
I was like thinking about that for days.
Josh Porthouse (50:08):
Yeah, yeah, it is a super cool opportunity, I
think.
The more we can learn to be abit vulnerable with people, the
human intelligence, I think, iswhat's lacking.
Yeah, not necessarily thehumanity, I don't know.
Maybe it's just a matter oftime, we'll see.
Maybe it shows like this,conversations like these that
start to make the difference.
We'll see where it goes, butfor now, again, I really do
(50:31):
appreciate your time and yourinsight and your perspective and
everything we were able to packinto this conversation.
So I know you're a little bitcreeping on dinner time, I think
, as of this recording, sothanks for stalling a little bit
and hanging out with us again.
Dina Lantzer (50:47):
No worries.
Thank you so much for having meon.
I appreciate the conversation,some really good perspectives.
I'm going to have to get intothe journal and start logging
that and figuring out where thatwent.
Josh Porthouse (51:00):
Yeah Well, I'm honored to make it into your
journal and probably the nextday is worth a chat.
Gpt prompts.
So I appreciate the opportunity.
Yeah, to everybody else.
You're welcome To everybodyelse who's been listening to the
show, obviously watching alongwith us here in this video.
I appreciate your time.
Thank you guys for tuning in.
If you want to hear more of ourconversations, you can go to our
(51:21):
websitetransactingvaluepodcastcom.
Listen to all of them there.
Every season's there andthey're free.
All the same amount of insightquestions this season
particularly.
We just started with video aswell, so I hope you guys enjoy
the show.
Last piece on our homepage inthe top right corner, is a
button that says leave avoicemail and that's two minutes
of talk time just for you.
(51:42):
I promise I won't interrupt orask any questions, but you can
do two things with it.
Here's my recommendation.
One is you let us know what youthink of the show, let us know
your feedback, let us know whatyou think about topics and
guests and people you'drecommend and all these sorts of
things.
I appreciate the feedback.
However, you can also leave amessage for Dina, let her know
about her story.
It can be encouragement, it canbe insight, it can be resources
, it can be whatever to give herperspective as well and we'll
(52:04):
forward the message to her.
So you got plenty ofopportunities, but saying that
for right now, it's all we gottime for, so until next time.
That was Transacting Value.
That was Transacting Value.
Thank you to our show partnersand folks.
Thank you for tuning in andappreciating our value as we all
grow through life together.
To check out our otherconversations or even to
(52:25):
contribute through feedbackfollows time, money or talent
and to let us know what youthink of the show.
Please leave a review on ourwebsite,
transactingvaluepodcastcom.
We also stream new episodesevery Monday at 9 am Eastern
Standard Time through all ofyour favorite podcasting
platforms like Spotify, iheartand TuneIn.
You can now hear TransactingValue on Wreaths Across America
(52:47):
Radio.
Head to WreathsAcrossAmericaorg.
Slash TransactingValue tosponsor a wreath and remember,
honor and teach the value offreedom for future generations.
On behalf of our team and ourglobal ambassadors, as you all
strive to establish clarity andpurpose, ensure social
tranquility and secure theblessings of liberty or
(53:07):
individual sovereignty ofcharacter for yourselves and
your posterity, we will continueinstigating self-worth and
we'll meet you there Until nexttime.
That was Transacting Value.
Popular Podcasts
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com