December 23, 2024 • 46 mins
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What happens when intuition meets intensity in the ER? Jenn Johnson, an experienced ER nurse and author of the upcoming book "Nursing Intuition: How to Trust Your Gut, Save Your Sanity, and Survive Your Career," offers an inside look into a world where stress and humanity collide. Jenn opens up about the adrenaline-fueled reality of emergency nursing and the critical role of self-awareness in preserving personal sanity and identity. Discover her journey of balancing the drive to help others with the risk of losing oneself, and how she's reclaimed her sense of self-worth and purpose amidst the chaos.
The episode also highlights the remarkable bonds formed among professionals in high-stress fields like nursing, firefighting, law enforcement, and the military. We delve into the unique camaraderie these individuals share, fueled by a shared sense of duty despite facing the harshest facets of humanity. Jenn sheds light on the quiet courtesies passed between these professionals and the growing pressures they face from societal phenomena like doxing. This segment underscores the mutual understanding and support that persist among those who navigate life-and-death situations daily.
Wrapping up, we tackle the arduous journey of maintaining personal values and identity in demanding roles. Through Jenn's reflective narratives, we explore the foundational impact of her upbringing on her nursing practice. She shares heartfelt stories that illustrate the profound significance of empathy and active listening, not just as professional skills but as essential components of human connection. As we confront the aftermath of the COVID-19 pandemic, the conversation pivots to the importance of self-care and advocacy, urging healthcare workers to prioritize their well-being while continuing to serve others with compassion and resilience.
Jennifer Johnson is a wife, mother of two, and a Registered Nurse in Ontario, Canada. With a 16-year career spent in emergency rooms across both Northern and Southern Ontario, she has witnessed firsthand the emotional rollercoaster of heartbreak, drama, bullying, and life-or-death moments. Her experiences have only been intensified by the ongoing pandemic, during which she, like so many of her colleagues, has faced unprecedented challenges in the ER.
Jennifer’s debut novel, Nursing Intuition: How to Trust Your Gut, Save Your Sanity, and Survive Your Career, is her rallying cry to nurses everywhere who are struggling to maintain their love for the profession. Drawing from her own battles with burnout, depression, and hopelessness, she offers support, guidance, and hope to those who feel overwhelmed and lost. The book is a testament to the strength of nurses and serves as a reminder that it is possible to reignite passion for the field even in the most difficult times.
Looking for more perspective, empowerment, and self-worth?
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Josh Porthouse (00:00):
The views expressed in this podcast are
solely those of the podcast hostand guest and do not
necessarily represent those ofour distribution partners,
supporting businessrelationships or supported
audience.
Welcome to Transacting Value,where we talk about practical
applications for instigatingself-worth when dealing with
(00:23):
each other and even withinourselves, when we foster a
podcast listening experiencethat lets you hear the power of
a value system for managingburnout, establishing boundaries
, fostering community andfinding identity.
My name is Josh Porthouse, I'myour host and we are redefining
sovereignty of character.
This is why values still holdvalue.
This is Transacting Value.
Jenn Johnson (00:47):
Getting a little bit more familiar with death
than normally does taint youropinion on the world as a whole.
But you know nobody's gettingout of this alive, so it's the
sooner you kind of come to termswith it, the sooner you really
realize that there's a lot ofmagic in the world.
Josh Porthouse (01:05):
Today on Transacting Value.
What is it about?
Frontline, community servantleadership that attracts people?
Is it the chaos, is it thenerves, is it the complexity, Is
it the stress or the adrenaline?
And we'll find out In today'sconversation.
We're talking with ER nurse allthe way in Canada, jen Johnson,
(01:25):
about her experience in nursingand what happens when helping
others may help you, and thenalso when maybe you lose
yourself in the process, and howto recover your own identity,
your own sense of self.
Maybe what you can do from thebeginning basic nursing
orientation all the way through16 years in the ER, but without
further ado.
Folks, I'm Josh Porthouse, I'myour host and this is
(01:48):
Transacting Value.
Jen, what's up?
How you doing?
Jenn Johnson (01:51):
I'm so good, Josh, thank you so much for having me
.
Josh Porthouse (01:53):
Absolutely.
I really appreciate your timeand you know I got to say too,
not for nothing, but yourcommitment to nursing.
I mean, that's COVID, let aloneemergency room traumas, all the
chaos that comes with that andthen probably losing your own
sanity and a fair amount of yourhairline in the process.
So I really appreciate whatyou've been willing to do, let
alone what you've actually done.
(02:14):
Thank you.
Jenn Johnson (02:21):
It's one of those things where, when you finally
look back, I actually I got aLinkedIn notification a few
years back and uh, it said likeoh, hannah boomhauer has got 12
years and at such and such place.
And you're like hannah, I'mlike we graduated together.
How is she at 12 years already?
And then I kind of went, oh mygod, I'm 12 years in.
Like I thought I had 10.
Like where did the years go?
yeah and then you throw you knowcovid and everything like that
(02:42):
on top of it and the joys andabsolute chaos of the ER.
You know it's been an absolutewild ride and finally got to the
point of we all joke that we'veall got so many stories we
should write the book.
I finally decided to actuallywrite the book.
Josh Porthouse (02:59):
Yeah, I heard about that.
So nursing intuition you'recalling it right, that's the
title.
Jenn Johnson (03:04):
Yeah, so nursing intuition how to trust your gut,
save your sanity and surviveyour career.
It's a bit of a mouthful, butit's what it ended up being.
Josh Porthouse (03:13):
Yeah, but I imagine that's what it ended up
needing to be.
I mean, the amount of what didyou say earlier before we record
the amount of grenades you'vegot to anticipate and be able to
flex from and deal with andmanage and obviously, patients
and staff and bosses and HR andeverything in between families,
whatever.
Jenn Johnson (03:30):
It's an ongoing circus, and so sometimes we kind
of say to each other like, oh,I'm not in charge today, I'm not
the charge nurse today, so notmy monkey, not my circus.
And then you're the chargersand you're like, oh, they're all
my monkeys.
Josh Porthouse (03:45):
Well, so let's.
So let's do this.
Let's set the stage here realquick For anybody who's new to
the show and may not be able tosee you, or, obviously, who
hasn't read your book yet.
You're pre-selling, as of thisrecording right.
Jenn Johnson (03:55):
Yeah, pre-selling currently on Amazon.
Josh Porthouse (03:58):
Okay, so on Amazon At present, then nobody's
read it yet, so let's starthere.
Maybe a little about the authorwill consider this.
Jenn Johnson (04:11):
Take a couple minutes.
Yeah, who are you?
Where are you from?
What sort of things have shapedyour perspective on the world?
So I'm Jen Johnson.
I'm from Hamilton, ontario.
I've been nursing for over 16years, primarily in the ER.
I have taken a couple of sidedetours to recovery room and
pediatrics, but for the mostpart it's been full on ER.
This whole time I've worked ERsas small as just one nurse for
the ER to trauma centers, tostroke centers, to pediatric
(04:35):
emergencies or pediatricemergency centers.
It's kind of been all over andit gives me half decent
perspective on as crazy aseverybody is.
You know, just generally, themedicine's always the same.
It's just a matter of you knowwhat are the semi different
policies, how much can I getaway with and how are my docs?
(04:55):
Are my docs really good or do Ihave to kind of give them some
time to warm up to me and myinsane kind of way of doing
things and my insane kind of wayof doing things, or are they
pretty easygoing and we're goodto go?
But it's been, yeah, 16 years oftrying to keep it together and
you know, we come out of nursingschool and you think I'm going
(05:16):
to save the world.
I'm going to be so awesome andyou're all green and excited and
shiny and then real world kindof slaps you in the face and you
very quickly learn thatsometimes you know being the one
to help facilitate acomfortable palliative care,
death is actually the win.
You're not going to saveeverybody, and so getting a
little bit more familiar withdeath than normally does taint
(05:39):
your opinion on the world as awhole.
But nobody's getting out ofthis alive.
So the sooner you kind of cometo terms with it, the sooner you
really realize that there's alot of magic in the world.
Josh Porthouse (05:51):
Well, that's interesting.
Do you think, in 16 years of, Iwould say, practicing, or
longer than that, just exposureexperience, whichever in any of
these other applicationspediatrics, trauma care, so on
you know, whichever in any ofthese other applications
pediatrics, trauma care, so onDo you think dealing with people
(06:13):
, maybe unwittingly or even outof their control at some of
their lower points, has helpedyou maybe realign with humanity
when it's at its better points,like, is there any comparison,
sort of inversely?
Jenn Johnson (06:21):
It's all very person by person basis.
You know if somebody is comingin and they're truly having an
emergency, their family's rightbeside them, you know they've
witnessed something horrific orsomething horrible has happened
and it's completely out of theblue.
It's these, you know, reallybad car wrecks or assaults or
something like this, wheresomebody's health has taken a
major turn very, very quickly.
(06:42):
It's those kind of momentswhere you can kind of try and
help people get through thatyou're like, okay, like I did do
something and you know I'mhelping to kind of better things
that way, versus the people whocome to emerge and they feel as
if they're having an emergencyand as the emergency nurse I
kind of know that they'reprobably not and having the
(07:04):
skill set to try and kind ofpeel them off the ceiling a
little bit, to be like okay,like yes, we'll do some blood
work, we'll do some x-rays,we'll check some things out.
But really I don't think thisis nearly as bad as you think it
is.
We're going to just calm down,we're going to take some breaths
, we're going to hang out andunfortunately the wait is
usually, you know, four to sixhours up here to see a doc.
(07:25):
So it's going to be a long wait.
We're just going to hang out.
Welcome to canadian health careat its finest and I promise you
we're going to be okay.
Those who are the least sick areusually the most vocal and the
most aggressive and the mostphysical to very quickly change
a situation from just like,maybe a verbal altercation, to a
full on like, about ready totake my head off, to calling me
(07:48):
every name in the book and everylanguage in the book.
You know it's what's the?
I'm 10 times more likely to beassaulted than a corrections
officer as an ER nurse.
Wow, I think is the generalstatistic.
Wow, yeah.
Josh Porthouse (08:01):
Well then, I guess, all things considered,
you're doing pretty well, socongratulations so far.
Jenn Johnson (08:06):
Thank you.
I, thankfully, the only timethat I've even come close to
getting hit was there was a kidwho actually was just having a
seizure and 16, big, tall kidand I had residents on the legs.
We were on the arms, I wastrying to put in the IV but I
was like kneeling and kind ofdown there and the one resident
must have let the one leg go.
(08:26):
It come flying over it, wingedoff my glasses and shot my
glasses out of the room into thehallway.
And I'm just impressed withmyself that I didn't swear,
because I swear like a sailor.
You know the F word is apunctuation mark in my
vocabulary, so you know notsaying anything because it was a
pediatric emergency.
I was like, okay, I'm actuallyreally impressed with myself
(08:48):
that I didn't drop anything.
And I was like, oh, my God, areyou okay?
I'm like I think I'm all right.
No cuts, no bruises.
He just caught the very side ofmy glasses.
I was like that was close, notto say that there haven't been
situations where people aregetting aggressive and we've had
to hold people down.
And you know needles throughjeans, you know police falling
(09:08):
through our front door whiletrying to tase somebody.
Wow, oh yeah, again, anothergreat story.
We were sitting around it wasmaybe midnight, one o'clock.
We're finally starting to talkabout breaks and like, okay, who
wants to go and where are yougoing to go and how long are we
going to?
Josh Porthouse (09:23):
lay down for these hypothetical things that
exist.
Jenn Johnson (09:26):
Hypothetical breaks that exist more so on
night shift than on day shift.
And we were joking about like,oh, it's been a great night.
We don't say the keyword.
We don't.
We never say the keywordbecause we're just so, we're
very superstitious that way.
And so somebody kind of likeknock and bang on the door, and
so it's a locked sliding doorbut it's the closest one to the
(09:47):
actual exit, and all of a suddensomebody's prying this door
open and somebody's falling in.
This young guy falls in.
We're like piss, because hebroke the door.
Well, then two cops fall on topof him and we're like, oh,
where did the cops come from?
And then two more cops fall onhim.
We're like what is going onright now?
Like we're not usually thisbusy with the police, but like
(10:08):
what is happening right now, andso they're trying to tase him.
I'm like, oh my god, he'stouching like the ancient way
scale.
That's all metal.
I'm like, don't tease him.
Oh, my god, don't tease him.
And my doc like barely stickshis head out of the door because
there were four patient roomslike right there that patients
were in.
My doc barely pokes his head.
I was like I'll just get mad atvan and held all and goes back
to assessing the patient Iimagine you gotta have, yeah,
(10:33):
nerves of steel and some of thatchaos it gets to be kind of
commonplace.
So you're just like, okay, youknow, for the most part nobody's
really gone badly hurt, yeah.
So we just kind we'll justmedicate you, and here we go and
off to the races and figure outwhy in the world you're here
and why are there four copsbehind you.
Speaker 3 (10:53):
Alrighty, folks, stay tight and we'll be right back
on Transacting Value.
Announcement (10:58):
Today my bank made a big mistake, but I forgave
them.
My server spilled water on me,but I forgave him.
My toddler drew lipstick on thewall.
Was I ever mad?
It got me thinking.
I can forgive my bank and myserver, but I'm upset with my
own kid.
I mean, what's most importanthere?
So tonight the two of us aredoing lipstick art On paper.
(11:21):
Forgiveness is in you.
Pass it on From PassItOncomwe'll just medicate you.
Jenn Johnson (11:29):
And here we go and off to the races and figure out
why in the world you're hereand why are there four cops
behind you.
Josh Porthouse (11:35):
Yeah, well, we've got a lot of guys too like
my background, especially foranybody new to the show, but
obviously, jen, in your case aswell, my background's in the US
military, the Marine Corpsspecifically, and the majority
of my career has been in theinfantry, and it made it very
difficult for me to communicatewith anybody One because I never
actually had to developcommunication skills.
I could just yell at people orwhatever.
We were all on the same, youknow, rank structure aside, we
(11:59):
were all on the same sort ofplaying field, like, all right,
we have a common mission set,try to get things done or
whichever, and so yelling atpeople was just common.
But the amount of chaos in somecases a training exercise, in
other cases not where theremight be, you know, live gunfire
or explosions or sounds on aspeaker or everybody else
yelling or whatever you knowtanks, anything else it
(12:22):
desensitizes you over time, Ithink on one hand positively,
because then you can focus andyou know you learn to tune out
what's important and what's notover time.
But on the other hand, it'svery difficult to relate to
people and to communicate aboutthings, because then everything
else seems, I don't know, tooeasy, too calm, almost too
difficult to relate to becauseit's not chaos.
(12:44):
Do you find that in all of thisER exposure that becomes a
pretty similar thing too?
Jenn Johnson (12:49):
We absolutely.
It's a thing you know if you'regoing to a big function or a
family function, if there's anurse there, if there's fire, if
there's EMS, if there'smilitary, if there's police, we
find each other.
I don't know how we find eachother, but we always find each
other because nobody understandswhat people can be like, other
than the few types of careersthat get a real intimate view as
(13:11):
to people at their worst.
And so we always find eachother and I can peg a
firefighter.
I don't know how, but I can pega firefighter from a mile away.
They'll come in and if they'renot wearing, you know,
firefighting gear or have afirefighter tattoo, it's just
about a little bit of swagger.
And you're just like you aretoo confident to be in the ER,
(13:32):
like I think so.
So you're just like no, likehow many years into into fire?
How'd you know?
Like can peg you from well awayyeah military is harder.
Police same thing.
Kind of had that swagger, butthey're a little bit more
reserved with it.
Uh, they kind of keep it hiddenin their back pockets, not
until they sit down at triage.
They open up their, theirwallet to get their health card
and, oh, look at that, you're asurgeon.
(13:52):
Hey, I see the badge.
And again, it's a professionalcourtesy that if we can try and
get you in and out, if nobodyelse is super, super sick, we're
gonna try and move you.
We're obviously.
It's just professional courtesy.
It's the same reason why nursesflying down the highway or the
freeway, the second we getpulled over, it's the only time
we're actually going to wear astethoscope.
Oh my God, get the stethoscope.
(14:13):
You know it's the only timeanybody ever wants to be
understood as being a nurse isthey're being pulled over.
Josh Porthouse (14:20):
Yeah, just coincidentally in.
I don't know if it's everywhere, but I'm assuming it's pretty
similarly an established vein ofthought, right?
Military people, veterans,whoever get pulled over, and now
all of a sudden your licenseisn't on top anymore.
Jenn Johnson (14:32):
It's your military id, or you know yeah, yeah, the
hospital id is like right here.
You're just like, oh, and we'rehanding it over with our
driver's license.
Josh Porthouse (14:40):
We're like here you go, sir you said two forms
of id, right here you go, yeahtwo form.
Jenn Johnson (14:45):
Yes, yes, you want a third.
I've got a hospital badge andI've got this and I've got my
stethoscope.
We're good, right, like yeah,and once they figure out it's ER
, they're like, oh okay.
Like there seems to be anothersmall level of distinction
within and, again, I've onlyever been an ER nurse, so I
don't know if an ICU gettingpulled over is any different,
but it's an understanding,because we do see them, we do
(15:07):
get to work with you guys and wedo get to you see the same
stuff and you're just like whatwas with guy and we, you know,
convince and we chit chat yeah,well, that's an important
distinction too, because I alsodon't want it to come across
that people are trying to getaway with things and
inadvertently able to, like, Idon't want to undermine, you
know, societal underpinnings orwhatever, but I think it really
does make a big differencebecause there's a lot of,
(15:29):
especially in the last three tofour years.
Josh Porthouse (15:31):
There's a lot of societal, maybe even distrust,
but doxing doxing is the term Iheard a couple years ago right
nothing to do with well, maybe Idon't even know what it really
means something to do withindoctrinating, or or I don't
know so if somebody is aninfluencer or has an opinion on
the web that you really dislike,you know I'm going to find you.
Jenn Johnson (15:55):
they will find, like, your home address, your
where you go to shop, where,like, they'll find all the
places that you go in real lifeand put it out there for people
to be able to find you.
It's a negative thing wherethey're trying to get people to
come and harass you in personBecause, again, if it's just all
online, you can just shut offthe iPad or the phone or
whatever and you get off of itVersus this is like yeah, this
(16:18):
is more we're gonna get in yourface in real life.
Josh Porthouse (16:21):
Okay, so then to that point, I think there's two
aspects that are important tonote, then, where, on one hand,
it is no different than if youwere to voice this in the town
square 500 years ago and peoplecan talk to you now.
It's digitized and morewidespread, but the impacts
obviously can be similar, likewhat you just brought up.
(16:42):
But I think what's unfortunatemaybe about that phenomenon that
seems to be happening over thelast few years is that nobody
volunteered for that.
People understand and not tospeak for everybody, but I'm
pretty sure I'm close Peoplethat get into high stress
positions like a nurse, a cop, afirefighter, the military,
(17:03):
these types of civil servantpositions or what I said earlier
, frontline civil servantleaders.
There's got to be a singularword for that, I'll figure it
out later.
But these of professions youknow, yeah, service and duty
oriented and honor and, andthese types, if I want to help
people isms, I think there's acertain understanding you have
to have that people are going togive you a hard time,
(17:25):
inadvertently or not, wittinglyor otherwise, but you're not
going to be everybody's friend.
You didn't join that professionto be everybody's friend.
Like you said earlier, you getinto those situations where you
have to, you know, work with adifferent level of people in a
different scale of humanity, andso with that comes sort of the
(17:45):
dregs at the bottom of thebarrel of attitudes and bearing
and demeanor intact and whatever.
But it's different, I think,when it's intentionally hateful
or spiteful or targeting you fortrying to help.
It's a whole differentapplication of things.
All right, folks sit tight,We'll be right back on
Transacting Value.
(18:07):
Join us for Transacting Value,where we discuss practical
applications of personal valuesEvery Monday at 9 am on our
website,transactingvaluepodcastcom,
Wednesdays at 5 pm and Sundaysat noon on
wreathsacrossamericaorg slashradio.
But it's different, I think,when it's intentionally hateful
(18:29):
or spiteful or targeting you fortrying to help, it's a whole
different application of things.
You know what?
Let me ask you this.
So this is a segment of theshow called Developing
Character.
This is two questions, and it'sas vulnerable as you want to be
For anybody who's unfamiliarwith this segment.
I have a very strong belief,personally and professionally,
(18:52):
that it's either going to bevery difficult to build
communication skills andrelationships with people in any
industry, let alone high stressoriented positions like what
we're describing, if you don'tfirst have an idea who you are
as a person and through learningthat you can gain some empathy,
communication skills, anynumber of degrees of confidence,
(19:14):
resilience, whatever.
But I think a lot of that getsrooted into value systems,
because it's really all you haveat the end of the day.
If you're not a nurse anymore,who are you?
A mom, maybe?
An author, probably, but thenit's still a crutch of
identities, one for the next,but like, but then you're it's
still a crutch of identities,one for the next, but like.
(19:34):
At your core, these are thethings that ground your
character, that then you canbuild from any degree of
identities in the future.
And so, anyway, my point is twoquestions as vulnerable as you
want to be, as open as you wantto be, totally up to you, but
they started somewhere.
So my first question is whenyou were growing up, what were
some of the values that you wereraised around.
You think that contributed toall of these desires and
(19:55):
passions for you.
Jenn Johnson (19:56):
Yeah, hardworking for one.
I actually recall my dad when Igot my first job as a.
I worked at a dry cleaners andhe goes.
well, just don't forget likeyour working also affects me,
like your work then reflects onme also, and I'm like whoa, okay
, because you cleaned his shirtright, no, so it was just like
customer service and you know Iwould take their clients, yeah,
(20:18):
so it's just like, oh, I'm just,uh, I'm just doing the things,
but you know, end up, of course,getting fired from it because
you know you're 15 and it's yourfirst job.
You don't really you neverasked about how long to take for
breaks or this or that or theother, so it's just.
You know, I don't even know howlong I lasted, but so there was
hard working.
Being early was always just onething where my mom god bless
(20:40):
her she worked.
So she always picked us up latefrom whatever activity we were
at, I was always the last one togo.
So I'm like I'm always going tobe early.
It's non-stop going to be early.
That's and a lot of my nursingthing.
You know, in nursing you're noton time.
Unless you're 10 minutes early,you're on time.
You're 10 minutes late, yeah,because you have to get report,
you have to kind of get moved in.
You got to bring all your stuffand get, let night shift or day
(21:02):
shift go, and so it's okay.
So want to be early Caring forsure.
My mom's a vet, so you know, asa kid growing up you're like,
oh, mom's taking care of all thecats and dogs and it's so cute
Not realizing that she probablyputs down like two to six pets a
(21:23):
week like has to deal with that.
So you know, the wholeempathetic, caring portion kind
of cultivated that a little biton my own and again, like
nursing was never on my radargrowing up, never, ever ever.
This whole calling portion I'mnot sold on.
It's a career.
It's a great career, but it's acareer yeah but what?
to distance myself becausethere's got to be more depth to
(21:44):
it than a well, than a paycheckor just a career like, yeah, you
don't do anything for that longin that kind of an industry,
for just money yeah, when you dohave those small wins because
the big wins they are reallyhard to come by you know
somebody's dead and you bringthem back and you've done chest
compressions and you know maybethey're walking out a couple
months later and they have nodeficits, like you get that
(22:05):
maybe once or twice in a career,like, maybe, so it's the little
wins, maybe so it's the littlewins, it's being able to explain
to family why maybe being a donot resuscitate is the best
option for grandma, because youknow she's full of cancer and
she's not really responding andshe's in a lot of pain.
Like let me help you get overthe fear of death, let me make
(22:28):
you more comfortable in sayingwe're comfortable with this, let
me help you sit down and holdher hand and kind of get over
that fear of it being a verydisturbing, taboo kind of thing.
It's having those teeny tinymoments with a patient where my
(22:48):
mouth shoots off before Irealize what I'm saying, but yet
I'm saying something that hitshome so hard for them that we
then end up having a discussionthat they can't have with
anybody else.
And so another one was, youknow, 16 year old, super drunk
Friday night not a big deal.
But the older brother comes in,he's giving him the gears
(23:10):
better than I did, because Istarted out as Nurse Ratched and
was kind of just oh, what areyou doing?
And not being super nice.
And it wasn't until the kid kindof was sober enough to say like
, oh, I've been drunker thanthis before, it's no big deal.
I'm like whoa, what do you mean?
Drunker than this before?
You were like comatose dude,like what is happening.
And he's like, oh, yeah, it'sbeen you know what six or seven
(23:30):
months.
And before I realized what Iwas saying, I'm like well, what
happened six or seven months ago?
Oh, I watched my dad collapsein our kitchen and die.
Oh, pardon me.
Well, yeah, the only way I canactually sleep and not have
nightmares is if I get drunk.
Josh Porthouse (23:45):
Hmm.
Jenn Johnson (23:46):
Oh, you're like, my whole assumption about this
whole scenario is so wrong rightnow.
And A, being able toacknowledge that.
And then B turn on your heels.
I went back to my doc and said,hey, like we need a social work
consult, we need supportsystems for this kid, we need
referrals, we need all thethings.
(24:07):
And I've never once beforegiven out my home number, not
once as an ER nurse.
You don't even give out yourlast name.
It's not happening.
People would be too crazy.
But I gave this kid my homenumber, my cell phone.
I said whatever you need, Idon't care what time of day, I
don't care where you are.
If you need me, call me, textme.
Can't guarantee that I'll be up, but I'll be getting back to
(24:29):
you as soon as I can.
They've never used it, butthat's something I felt that I
needed to do.
I needed to extend that bridge.
Just, you know, the family wasvery obviously completely torn
up about this because it wasvery sudden and very traumatic.
And this is how this poor kidwas coping.
The family was loving and avery large family, but they
(24:51):
didn't talk about things verysiloed.
You know just their culture.
So I'm going okay.
Well, now your brother knowsabout this.
He can kind of take it back tothe fam and and explain what's
going on.
And and here's this kid goinglike no, no, no, it's fine.
Like if I need therapy, I'll,I'll afford it myself, I'll go,
I'll work at my job, and if Ineed meds, I'll go and I'll work
(25:12):
harder.
I'm like dude, you're 16.
Josh Porthouse (25:15):
Yeah, that's a lot to take on, it is not, it's
so much to take on.
Jenn Johnson (25:19):
So hoping that he got some help and at least
followed up with it a little bit.
But again, it's one of thosethings where I've done all,
literally all that I could doand there's nothing more than I
can.
So you know, you put it outinto the world and sometimes you
have to be okay with notknowing the outcome and as an ER
nurse, a lot of the time is youdon't get to hear.
(25:39):
It's the same with EMS or fire,where they bring somebody in
and they have to walk away andthey leave them with us and then
we admit them and then they goup to ICU and then we don't know
what happens from then on.
Whenever we get good news aboutsomebody who potentially comes
back to the ER or sends a thankyou letter or something, you
take those home, you print thoseout, you put them in the book
for those days that are just sodark you can't even fathom going
(26:02):
on or continuing in the career.
And those are the days youbreak out the letters and say no
, no, no, I am making adifference.
It's a very zigzag kind of wayof making a difference but still
making a difference.
Josh Porthouse (26:17):
Yeah, the toll that it can take any of these
types of situations that youwere just describing is really
underrated and obviously nottalked about, let alone the
residual impact.
But I never actually consideredthe points you just brought up,
I guess because I never had to.
But a cop, a firefighter,whoever is the catalyst to get
(26:39):
somebody in your door, a parent,a grandparent, whoever it is to
get somebody in your door atthe ER, may never see that
person again and know, for thesake of closure, if nothing else
did it work.
Did we do a good job all theway up closure?
If nothing else did it work?
Did we do a good job all theway up until?
Did we save somebody's life ordid we make a difference, some
sort of degree of fulfillment?
(27:01):
And that's powerful too, becausethank you is very simple,
seriously simple, all the way upuntil a handshake, a thumbs up,
a card, like you just mentioned, and it really can make a huge
difference Now in what I'm goingto consider raising humanity
there in the ER.
(27:22):
What about now?
I mean 16 years later, letalone a few decades of life
experience in total.
What are some of your valuesnow that I assume they've
shifted and changed over timeand become more individualized.
Jenn Johnson (27:34):
Yeah.
So now it's separating me fromthe nurse, now it's separating
me from just being a mom.
Now it's what makes me happy.
You know, there's nothing likeCOVID and and having attorneys
come forward to to volunteer towrite all the frontline workers
wills for free that you knowthey meant well, but you
(27:56):
couldn't really help but takehome the fact that you weren't
expected to survive.
You come very quickly to therealization that, oh, like, why
am I doing this?
Like what is happening and it'slike you know, am I getting
satisfaction out of the job?
Absolutely.
There's nothing better thanturning somebody around.
Maybe, maybe not saving a life,but turning something around, a
(28:18):
symptom, a fever, gettingsomebody feeling better and
turning.
Actually, what's moresatisfaction?
Like more satisfaction iswatching the bear of a human who
you know is lost their mind topain, drugs, alcohol, uh, grief
turn around and you know, nowthey're comfortable, now they're
(28:39):
feeling safe, now they havesome expectations as to what's
going on.
To then come back to beinghuman and to be kind of their
more baseline self versus theextreme of themselves and come
back and watching thatdifference is really interesting
to see.
Like, okay, you were absolutelyinsane on meth.
(29:00):
Like, just, you were not a niceperson, but now you've sobered
up and now there's pleases, nowthere's thank yous, and and
you're so sweet and you're likewhat just happened, like that
was quite the 180 holy cow sofinding satisfaction in the
smaller things and then findingsatisfaction in teaching, being
(29:23):
able to support our new nursescoming out, being able to gently
or more gently bring them intothe life and the lifestyle and
what it means to be a nurse, andespecially in this day and age
of technology and theexpectations of professionalism
and how you're supposed to be on24-7, 365.
Josh Porthouse (29:43):
Yeah.
Jenn Johnson (29:44):
Nobody can live up to those expectations.
So then it's just okay.
Be mindful of what you'reposting online.
Be mindful of anybody who's,you know, got their phone at
that right angle to tape you.
You know, just be mindful thateverybody has got not just a
microphone but a camcorder intheir back pocket and a lot of
(30:05):
things can be taken out ofcontext if you start, you know,
recording at the right moment,the number of times where people
try to bait you, to get yougoing, to say whatever they're
going to say, to really try anddig into you and to know that
that's what's going on, takes alot of effort and experience.
(30:27):
So to then introduce these, thenewer nurses, to like not just
nursing but then the ER becausethe ER is its own beast and say
like, hey, so this is, you know,this is the treatment and
street of mentality.
We're trying to get you in andtrying to get you out as fast as
possible for everybody's sake.
But when we can't, you know,here's what we're doing, here's
(30:48):
all the different things thatwe're leaning into or talking
about and all the things thatthey don't teach you in nursing
school, because that learningcurve is straight up once you
get out and then all of a sudden, you've got your own license,
like the responsibility of that,you're like I just I have to be
careful of this thing like Idon't know.
Josh Porthouse (31:10):
All right, folks , sit tight and we'll be right
back on Transacting Value.
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(31:36):
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Jenn Johnson (31:46):
The responsibility of that.
You're like I.
Just I have to be careful ofthis thing Like I don't know.
Josh Porthouse (31:53):
It's daunting and intimidating, it's
ridiculous.
Yeah, it's horrible.
Yeah, it's a lot the same, atleast in my experience, getting
into our Department of DefenseVery similar.
You look at it, you see thecommercials talk to the
recruiters.
Whatever it is something aboutit appeals to it and you're like
this is going to be pretty sick.
All right, I'm in sure, why not?
(32:18):
Yeah.
And then you go through all thebasic training and you go
through the courses similar inconcept, right to your, your
nursing school idea in parallelconstruct at least, and you get
through and you make it into thewhatever the fleet, the force,
the whatever branch you decideto join, cops being the same
firefighters to your firststation you know, know same
principle here You're like allright, I am totally classically
trained to be a level zerobeginner and then you can start.
(32:42):
I guess really you've proventhat you can handle the workload
and that you're trainable.
Now it's time to prove that youcan learn and do something
about it.
And I think that's understatedtoo.
I don't know if it's paralleledin any primary schools or
elementary schools or secondaryuniversity or whatever anywhere
else in academia quite in thesame light that it is in any of
(33:04):
these other circumstances wewere just talking about, Because
I feel like otherwise you'refixing to get into, say, ninth
through 12th grade or go to auniversity or a college or
whatever for a more advanced,whatever course of study, and
then you walk out and you'relike I'm not sure I'm really
qualified for anything at thispoint.
I don't know what to do, You'restill lost.
But I think the identity is thegrounding point there.
I think the focus on some sortof principled, value system or
(33:29):
way of living really does anchorand ground and make a huge
difference Living really doesanchor and ground and make a
huge difference.
Jenn Johnson (33:35):
The stereotypes alone, at least for nursing the
stereotypes that you're not agood nurse unless you give all
of yourself and leave nothing.
Same thing in the middle.
You're not a good nurse unlessyou absolutely do not ask for
help.
You're not a good nurse unlessyou kill yourself for your
patients.
You're not a good nurse unlessyou pick up every single shift
that's offered to you, Dressingthe part and smile on your face
(33:59):
and being professional all thetime.
That's great until the publicgets involved.
And then things get real diceyat times Because there's nothing
quite like coming up against,you know, a six foot five guy
who's just screaming at you andyou're just like do I want to go
for it?
And really you know, gloves offgangster style, or am I going
(34:20):
to lean into this whole feminineBS?
Just be like, sir, I'm so sorry.
You know, some days you're justlike try me.
Josh Porthouse (34:29):
Right, right.
Well, that's the other thing Ithink the public also needs to
realize when it comes to medicalstaff, especially in a
stressful environment like theer you know a very particular
place to make people not be ableto breathe very quickly or not
be able to walk very abruptly,you know like the people don't
understand that the nurses havethe decision for the size of the
(34:52):
things that are entered intothe human body on just about all
counts.
Jenn Johnson (34:57):
So IV sizes, catheter sizes, how much
lubrication we use, if thelubrication has got lidocaine so
it's numbing or not, the ETtube, all sorts.
There's a lot of differentsizes to a lot of different
things, and you catch more flieswith honey than with vinegar.
Nobody's going to want to gothe extra mile for you if you're
(35:20):
berating the crap out of them,we're just going to want to get
you the heck out.
Josh Porthouse (35:24):
Yeah, well, that's the difference, right,
like we had a patrol.
This was a while ago.
I was in Afghanistan, we wereon a patrol and it was the same
sort of idea.
We were on a patrol and it wasthe same sort of idea.
All the kids were in the bazaarand there were people around,
so we weren't really focused onany sort of a threat.
If anything, we were morecomplacent to it and complicit
to the moment than anything else.
But we walked through it andout to wherever we had to go
(35:45):
into the village and then turnaround and walk back through the
bazaar on the way back.
There was this kid there Iremember him distinctly, name
was haroon and he was standingthere and he watched us come out
and he watched us come back.
We went out two or three times aweek on foot on these patrols
and after a few weeks I wavedand he waved and after a few
(36:05):
days of that into the next week,eventually a couple of us.
He worked at his father's rugshop in the bazaar, which I'm
pretty sure the entire areasince it's been turned over it
doesn't exist anymore.
But he worked at his father'srug shop in the bazaar, which
I'm pretty sure the entire area.
Since it's been turned over itdoesn't exist anymore.
But he worked in his father'srug shop just the two of them
and he was just there becausewhere else are you going to go?
There's no school, there's youknow, uh.
And he was early teens, maybemid teens at the time.
(36:27):
But yeah, after a week of thatand waving as we went in and out
, eventually he and I werehaving lunch.
Eventually he and I spokeenough of each other's languages
to actually talk and dosomething.
And then I started working outwith him whenever we weren't on
patrol.
You build a relationship and Ithink to your point, there's a
very real degree, on one hand,where you can conduct your life
(36:49):
and lead through fear andthreats and whatever
intimidation tactics apply,especially when your stress
level is elevated.
It's very easy to do and slipinto that Mr Hyde type persona,
but on the other hand, the morestressed we get, the harder it
is to stay focused and makerational decisions.
Where it's not necessarily I'mparaphrasing it's not
(37:20):
necessarily, and I'mparaphrasing it's not
necessarily the fact that the Idon't know nasopharyngeal tube
can be bigger or longer orwhatever, as much as it is like,
I have now developed moreempathy for this person and I'll
go out of my way to ensurethey're more comfortable, not
necessarily out of my way tomake them less comfortable.
Same thing with this kid, harun.
You know like after a while itwas a lot easier to recognize
some degree of humanity in thiskid and help, and so it was
(37:41):
easier for me to remember, aswhatever busy, stressful levels
applied to go out of my way tohelp him than it was to ignore
him because he blended into thebackground and it really does
make a huge difference.
But I to ask you this, for thesake of time, jen, of all of
these experiences and all ofthis stuff that you've been
through the scenarios at thehospital, your personal life,
(38:02):
just growing up as a human whathas it all actually done for
your sense of self and yourself-worth?
As you talked a lot about otherpeople, but you're still you.
Jenn Johnson (38:11):
Which is typical, which is very typical of the you
know the nurse brain kind ofthing.
Your last care is alwaysyourself.
So it's been well since COVIDand hitting rock bottom, burning
out, coming back the whole bit.
It's been that my experiencematters and getting out of my
head where if I'm thinking aboutmyself or worrying about myself
(38:33):
or my comfort, that's selfish.
No, it's not, it's basic humandecency that you know, if I was
treating my patient the way thatI treat myself, I would be
horrified.
You're like, oh my God, you'redoing nothing personal, you're
barely getting out of bed,you're not really eating, you
know.
You're barely peeing, becauseyou know we run around like
(38:56):
maniacs, so we usually only peeonce every 12 hours or so.
Yeah, sure, which really isgoing to come back to haunt me
in my elder years.
And so it's now.
It's no, I'm going to push formy breaks, I'm going to push for
(39:17):
working part time right now.
I'm going to push for tellingmy stories that ended up, born
out of all the trauma with COVID, and getting these stories out
so that people, not just nursesbut other people know not just
what we've went through but whatwe continue to go through and
that, yes, the ER has beenportrayed as a very kind of sexy
and and ooh the adrenaline.
It's not that 99% of the time,it's a lot of the same thing
over and over and just kind ofgoing through the motions.
(39:39):
But it's the people that makeit hard, because dealing with
people and their emotions andthe suffering that you're seeing
and the inequalities that comewalking through the door and
you're like, how you know, howdoes this person over here get
everything handed to them andeverything's just fine and dandy
, and they've, you know, perfecthealth, whatever.
(39:59):
And here's this other personwho's had to work for every
minute of their life and havejust got, you know, hardship
after hardship after hardshipthrown at them Like how is that
fair?
And it's coming to terms withlike, well, everybody's got
their own journeys and you knowI can't change anything except
for what I can do in the moment.
(40:19):
So same thing with myself, youknow, looking back, treating my
body like a rave very forcefully, think about water and eating
on a semi-regular basis andmaking sleep a priority and not
worrying about the thoughtprocess of oh, sleeping in and
(40:40):
am I lazy or am I doing enoughfor all the things that run
through your head, especially asa mom?
But it's just like no, now it's.
If you want to call this myvillain era, sure do do that,
because if me taking care ofmyself and me finally worrying
about my own happiness is mebeing a villain, call me Cruella
.
I'm here for it.
(41:01):
Might as well just go for it,because you know, the sooner you
get to the no f's given kind ofera where everything happens,
you just have to deal with itand go on.
It's a beautiful place to haveno to low expectations, because
then you have no to lowdisappointment.
(41:22):
So everything turns out beingphenomenal, right.
If you've got no expectationsabout how the day is going to go
, you get to do something fun orsee something cool or help
somebody out a day, whereasotherwise you have been like, oh
, nothing really happened and itwas just such a busy day.
Well, change your perspective.
Step into somebody's shoes whodoesn't get to see this and
(41:44):
think about how it absolutelyblow their minds as to some of
the things that we see and do.
And I can ask people just aboutany question.
Josh Porthouse (41:52):
They'll probably answer it, yeah well, and all
of that also gets tempered witha certain degree of discernment
and inquiry and dignity, likeyou talked about, and and
respect and sort of a consciousinvolvement in your own life,
let alone just in other people's, and that balance is absolutely
terrifying when, especially,you make a career out of
(42:16):
neglecting yourself andself-sabotaging, because you
know the general excuse is well,it's in the name of the public
good or for somebody else orwhatever.
In the military it's the samething all the time where you
make a career out of the teamand the eye doesn't necessarily
fit into that, and then when theteam's not there, who's left
(42:37):
and the identity changes.
That's tough.
That's tough.
But in the last minute or sothat I've got with you, jen, if
people want to track down yourbook, to follow along with the
progress the stories learn,maybe book you to speak any
number of things.
Where do people go?
How do we do it?
Jenn Johnson (43:01):
Yeah, so you can find me at rxforgrowthcom
rxforgrowthcom.
You can find all of my booksand journals on Amazon.
If you search Jennifer AJohnson RN.
You can find me on TikTok andInstagram at ernursejen J-E-N-N.
And you'd find me on LinkedIn.
Jennifer Johnson, b-s-c-n-n-n.
And you'd find me on linkedin.
Jennifer johnson, bscn rn.
There's just so many, jenniferjohnson, so I had to do the bscn
it's.
It's makes you feel horrible.
The rns laugh.
(43:21):
We're like, oh, bscrn, but it'sjust too many jennifer
johnson's.
I should have kept my main name.
Yeah, if you need a hand, ifyou need a vent, by all come on
down.
I may not know military, but Imean I know people.
Josh Porthouse (43:36):
Exactly I was going to say I think you do.
I think you know more about thesame perspective than you might
give yourself credit for.
Plus, everybody's body is verysimilar, so you'll figure it out
.
Jenn Johnson (43:47):
Yeah, it's just, we're all here.
Be nice to each other, be kind,because we're all dealing with
the exact same crap, justdifferent variations.
Yep, that's kind, because we'reall dealing with the exact same
crap, just different variationsyep, that's it.
Josh Porthouse (43:57):
We're all uh growing through life separately
together we're all linked.
Jenn Johnson (44:02):
If you think we're not linked, we're all linked.
Six degrees of separation.
And now with social media,forget about it.
Josh Porthouse (44:08):
And 23andme yeah , absolutely, jen.
Again, I appreciate theopportunity.
I appreciate the conversation,the, the topics, the depth, your
vulnerability, your insight,and not for nothing, but the
amount of parallels that weapparently discovered throughout
this conversation as well waspretty sweet opportunity and
experience for me.
So, yeah, I really appreciateit.
Thanks for your time.
(44:29):
Absolutely Anytime anytime, allright.
Well, yeah, I remember you saidthat, but all right, we'll
catch up with you again later.
And to everybody who tuned intothe conversation guys, I
appreciate your time and yourinterest and your support,
obviously for our show.
For anybody who's unfamiliar,depending on the platform,
you're streaming thisconversation on click see more.
Click show more and there's adropdown for the conversation in
those show notes.
(44:49):
In that description you'll seelinks to Jen's website and
social as well, so you'll beable to track her down and
obviously her book if you wantit for pre-sale or actual
purchase once it comes out andit's fully published.
Please help yourselves, but thelinks they're on our website
and for this conversation we'llredirect you there as well.
Any other conversations on ourshow you want to check out
(45:10):
TransactingValuePodcastcom, andthat's worldwide.
It's still com, so you can gocheck it out and you can find
all the rest of our seasons aswell.
We're streaming on WreathsAcross America Radio.
We are now syndicated through afew different print magazines
here in the States as well, likeFirewatch Magazine.
But for right now my time's up.
(45:30):
Your time is valuable, so untilnext time we talk.
This is Transacting Value.
Thank you to our show partnersand folks.
Thank you for tuning in andappreciating our value as we all
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(45:52):
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(46:13):
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(46:34):
individual sovereignty ofcharacter for yourselves and
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we'll meet you there.
Until next time.
That was Transacting Value.
The views expressed in this podcast are
solely those of the podcast hostand guest and do not
necessarily represent those ofour distribution partners,
supporting businessrelationships or supported
audience.
Welcome to Transacting Value,where we talk about practical
applications for instigatingself-worth when dealing with
(00:23):
each other and even withinourselves, when we foster a
podcast listening experiencethat lets you hear the power of
a value system for managingburnout, establishing boundaries
, fostering community andfinding identity.
My name is Josh Porthouse, I'myour host and we are redefining
sovereignty of character.
This is why values still holdvalue.
This is Transacting Value.
Jenn Johnson (00:47):
Getting a little bit more familiar with death
than normally does taint youropinion on the world as a whole.
But you know nobody's gettingout of this alive, so it's the
sooner you kind of come to termswith it, the sooner you really
realize that there's a lot ofmagic in the world.
Josh Porthouse (01:05):
Today on Transacting Value.
What is it about?
Frontline, community servantleadership that attracts people?
Is it the chaos, is it thenerves, is it the complexity, Is
it the stress or the adrenaline?
And we'll find out In today'sconversation.
We're talking with ER nurse allthe way in Canada, jen Johnson,
(01:25):
about her experience in nursingand what happens when helping
others may help you, and thenalso when maybe you lose
yourself in the process, and howto recover your own identity,
your own sense of self.
Maybe what you can do from thebeginning basic nursing
orientation all the way through16 years in the ER, but without
further ado.
Folks, I'm Josh Porthouse, I'myour host and this is
(01:48):
Transacting Value.
Jen, what's up?
How you doing?
Jenn Johnson (01:51):
I'm so good, Josh, thank you so much for having me
.
Josh Porthouse (01:53):
Absolutely.
I really appreciate your timeand you know I got to say too,
not for nothing, but yourcommitment to nursing.
I mean, that's COVID, let aloneemergency room traumas, all the
chaos that comes with that andthen probably losing your own
sanity and a fair amount of yourhairline in the process.
So I really appreciate whatyou've been willing to do, let
alone what you've actually done.
(02:14):
Thank you.
Jenn Johnson (02:21):
It's one of those things where, when you finally
look back, I actually I got aLinkedIn notification a few
years back and uh, it said likeoh, hannah boomhauer has got 12
years and at such and such place.
And you're like hannah, I'mlike we graduated together.
How is she at 12 years already?
And then I kind of went, oh mygod, I'm 12 years in.
Like I thought I had 10.
Like where did the years go?
yeah and then you throw you knowcovid and everything like that
(02:42):
on top of it and the joys andabsolute chaos of the ER.
You know it's been an absolutewild ride and finally got to the
point of we all joke that we'veall got so many stories we
should write the book.
I finally decided to actuallywrite the book.
Josh Porthouse (02:59):
Yeah, I heard about that.
So nursing intuition you'recalling it right, that's the
title.
Jenn Johnson (03:04):
Yeah, so nursing intuition how to trust your gut,
save your sanity and surviveyour career.
It's a bit of a mouthful, butit's what it ended up being.
Josh Porthouse (03:13):
Yeah, but I imagine that's what it ended up
needing to be.
I mean, the amount of what didyou say earlier before we record
the amount of grenades you'vegot to anticipate and be able to
flex from and deal with andmanage and obviously, patients
and staff and bosses and HR andeverything in between families,
whatever.
Jenn Johnson (03:30):
It's an ongoing circus, and so sometimes we kind
of say to each other like, oh,I'm not in charge today, I'm not
the charge nurse today, so notmy monkey, not my circus.
And then you're the chargersand you're like, oh, they're all
my monkeys.
Josh Porthouse (03:45):
Well, so let's.
So let's do this.
Let's set the stage here realquick For anybody who's new to
the show and may not be able tosee you, or, obviously, who
hasn't read your book yet.
You're pre-selling, as of thisrecording right.
Jenn Johnson (03:55):
Yeah, pre-selling currently on Amazon.
Josh Porthouse (03:58):
Okay, so on Amazon At present, then nobody's
read it yet, so let's starthere.
Maybe a little about the authorwill consider this.
Jenn Johnson (04:11):
Take a couple minutes.
Yeah, who are you?
Where are you from?
What sort of things have shapedyour perspective on the world?
So I'm Jen Johnson.
I'm from Hamilton, ontario.
I've been nursing for over 16years, primarily in the ER.
I have taken a couple of sidedetours to recovery room and
pediatrics, but for the mostpart it's been full on ER.
This whole time I've worked ERsas small as just one nurse for
the ER to trauma centers, tostroke centers, to pediatric
(04:35):
emergencies or pediatricemergency centers.
It's kind of been all over andit gives me half decent
perspective on as crazy aseverybody is.
You know, just generally, themedicine's always the same.
It's just a matter of you knowwhat are the semi different
policies, how much can I getaway with and how are my docs?
(04:55):
Are my docs really good or do Ihave to kind of give them some
time to warm up to me and myinsane kind of way of doing
things and my insane kind of wayof doing things, or are they
pretty easygoing and we're goodto go?
But it's been, yeah, 16 years oftrying to keep it together and
you know, we come out of nursingschool and you think I'm going
(05:16):
to save the world.
I'm going to be so awesome andyou're all green and excited and
shiny and then real world kindof slaps you in the face and you
very quickly learn thatsometimes you know being the one
to help facilitate acomfortable palliative care,
death is actually the win.
You're not going to saveeverybody, and so getting a
little bit more familiar withdeath than normally does taint
(05:39):
your opinion on the world as awhole.
But nobody's getting out ofthis alive.
So the sooner you kind of cometo terms with it, the sooner you
really realize that there's alot of magic in the world.
Josh Porthouse (05:51):
Well, that's interesting.
Do you think, in 16 years of, Iwould say, practicing, or
longer than that, just exposureexperience, whichever in any of
these other applicationspediatrics, trauma care, so on
you know, whichever in any ofthese other applications
pediatrics, trauma care, so onDo you think dealing with people
(06:13):
, maybe unwittingly or even outof their control at some of
their lower points, has helpedyou maybe realign with humanity
when it's at its better points,like, is there any comparison,
sort of inversely?
Jenn Johnson (06:21):
It's all very person by person basis.
You know if somebody is comingin and they're truly having an
emergency, their family's rightbeside them, you know they've
witnessed something horrific orsomething horrible has happened
and it's completely out of theblue.
It's these, you know, reallybad car wrecks or assaults or
something like this, wheresomebody's health has taken a
major turn very, very quickly.
(06:42):
It's those kind of momentswhere you can kind of try and
help people get through thatyou're like, okay, like I did do
something and you know I'mhelping to kind of better things
that way, versus the people whocome to emerge and they feel as
if they're having an emergencyand as the emergency nurse I
kind of know that they'reprobably not and having the
(07:04):
skill set to try and kind ofpeel them off the ceiling a
little bit, to be like okay,like yes, we'll do some blood
work, we'll do some x-rays,we'll check some things out.
But really I don't think thisis nearly as bad as you think it
is.
We're going to just calm down,we're going to take some breaths
, we're going to hang out andunfortunately the wait is
usually, you know, four to sixhours up here to see a doc.
(07:25):
So it's going to be a long wait.
We're just going to hang out.
Welcome to canadian health careat its finest and I promise you
we're going to be okay.
Those who are the least sick areusually the most vocal and the
most aggressive and the mostphysical to very quickly change
a situation from just like,maybe a verbal altercation, to a
full on like, about ready totake my head off, to calling me
(07:48):
every name in the book and everylanguage in the book.
You know it's what's the?
I'm 10 times more likely to beassaulted than a corrections
officer as an ER nurse.
Wow, I think is the generalstatistic.
Wow, yeah.
Josh Porthouse (08:01):
Well then, I guess, all things considered,
you're doing pretty well, socongratulations so far.
Jenn Johnson (08:06):
Thank you.
I, thankfully, the only timethat I've even come close to
getting hit was there was a kidwho actually was just having a
seizure and 16, big, tall kidand I had residents on the legs.
We were on the arms, I wastrying to put in the IV but I
was like kneeling and kind ofdown there and the one resident
must have let the one leg go.
(08:26):
It come flying over it, wingedoff my glasses and shot my
glasses out of the room into thehallway.
And I'm just impressed withmyself that I didn't swear,
because I swear like a sailor.
You know the F word is apunctuation mark in my
vocabulary, so you know notsaying anything because it was a
pediatric emergency.
I was like, okay, I'm actuallyreally impressed with myself
(08:48):
that I didn't drop anything.
And I was like, oh, my God, areyou okay?
I'm like I think I'm all right.
No cuts, no bruises.
He just caught the very side ofmy glasses.
I was like that was close, notto say that there haven't been
situations where people aregetting aggressive and we've had
to hold people down.
And you know needles throughjeans, you know police falling
(09:08):
through our front door whiletrying to tase somebody.
Wow, oh yeah, again, anothergreat story.
We were sitting around it wasmaybe midnight, one o'clock.
We're finally starting to talkabout breaks and like, okay, who
wants to go and where are yougoing to go and how long are we
going to?
Josh Porthouse (09:23):
lay down for these hypothetical things that
exist.
Jenn Johnson (09:26):
Hypothetical breaks that exist more so on
night shift than on day shift.
And we were joking about like,oh, it's been a great night.
We don't say the keyword.
We don't.
We never say the keywordbecause we're just so, we're
very superstitious that way.
And so somebody kind of likeknock and bang on the door, and
so it's a locked sliding doorbut it's the closest one to the
(09:47):
actual exit, and all of a suddensomebody's prying this door
open and somebody's falling in.
This young guy falls in.
We're like piss, because hebroke the door.
Well, then two cops fall on topof him and we're like, oh,
where did the cops come from?
And then two more cops fall onhim.
We're like what is going onright now?
Like we're not usually thisbusy with the police, but like
(10:08):
what is happening right now, andso they're trying to tase him.
I'm like, oh my god, he'stouching like the ancient way
scale.
That's all metal.
I'm like, don't tease him.
Oh, my god, don't tease him.
And my doc like barely stickshis head out of the door because
there were four patient roomslike right there that patients
were in.
My doc barely pokes his head.
I was like I'll just get mad atvan and held all and goes back
to assessing the patient Iimagine you gotta have, yeah,
(10:33):
nerves of steel and some of thatchaos it gets to be kind of
commonplace.
So you're just like, okay, youknow, for the most part nobody's
really gone badly hurt, yeah.
So we just kind we'll justmedicate you, and here we go and
off to the races and figure outwhy in the world you're here
and why are there four copsbehind you.
Speaker 3 (10:53):
Alrighty, folks, stay tight and we'll be right back
on Transacting Value.
Announcement (10:58):
Today my bank made a big mistake, but I forgave
them.
My server spilled water on me,but I forgave him.
My toddler drew lipstick on thewall.
Was I ever mad?
It got me thinking.
I can forgive my bank and myserver, but I'm upset with my
own kid.
I mean, what's most importanthere?
So tonight the two of us aredoing lipstick art On paper.
(11:21):
Forgiveness is in you.
Pass it on From PassItOncomwe'll just medicate you.
Jenn Johnson (11:29):
And here we go and off to the races and figure out
why in the world you're hereand why are there four cops
behind you.
Josh Porthouse (11:35):
Yeah, well, we've got a lot of guys too like
my background, especially foranybody new to the show, but
obviously, jen, in your case aswell, my background's in the US
military, the Marine Corpsspecifically, and the majority
of my career has been in theinfantry, and it made it very
difficult for me to communicatewith anybody One because I never
actually had to developcommunication skills.
I could just yell at people orwhatever.
We were all on the same, youknow, rank structure aside, we
(11:59):
were all on the same sort ofplaying field, like, all right,
we have a common mission set,try to get things done or
whichever, and so yelling atpeople was just common.
But the amount of chaos in somecases a training exercise, in
other cases not where theremight be, you know, live gunfire
or explosions or sounds on aspeaker or everybody else
yelling or whatever you knowtanks, anything else it
(12:22):
desensitizes you over time, Ithink on one hand positively,
because then you can focus andyou know you learn to tune out
what's important and what's notover time.
But on the other hand, it'svery difficult to relate to
people and to communicate aboutthings, because then everything
else seems, I don't know, tooeasy, too calm, almost too
difficult to relate to becauseit's not chaos.
(12:44):
Do you find that in all of thisER exposure that becomes a
pretty similar thing too?
Jenn Johnson (12:49):
We absolutely.
It's a thing you know if you'regoing to a big function or a
family function, if there's anurse there, if there's fire, if
there's EMS, if there'smilitary, if there's police, we
find each other.
I don't know how we find eachother, but we always find each
other because nobody understandswhat people can be like, other
than the few types of careersthat get a real intimate view as
(13:11):
to people at their worst.
And so we always find eachother and I can peg a
firefighter.
I don't know how, but I can pega firefighter from a mile away.
They'll come in and if they'renot wearing, you know,
firefighting gear or have afirefighter tattoo, it's just
about a little bit of swagger.
And you're just like you aretoo confident to be in the ER,
(13:32):
like I think so.
So you're just like no, likehow many years into into fire?
How'd you know?
Like can peg you from well awayyeah military is harder.
Police same thing.
Kind of had that swagger, butthey're a little bit more
reserved with it.
Uh, they kind of keep it hiddenin their back pockets, not
until they sit down at triage.
They open up their, theirwallet to get their health card
and, oh, look at that, you're asurgeon.
(13:52):
Hey, I see the badge.
And again, it's a professionalcourtesy that if we can try and
get you in and out, if nobodyelse is super, super sick, we're
gonna try and move you.
We're obviously.
It's just professional courtesy.
It's the same reason why nursesflying down the highway or the
freeway, the second we getpulled over, it's the only time
we're actually going to wear astethoscope.
Oh my God, get the stethoscope.
(14:13):
You know it's the only timeanybody ever wants to be
understood as being a nurse isthey're being pulled over.
Josh Porthouse (14:20):
Yeah, just coincidentally in.
I don't know if it's everywhere, but I'm assuming it's pretty
similarly an established vein ofthought, right?
Military people, veterans,whoever get pulled over, and now
all of a sudden your licenseisn't on top anymore.
Jenn Johnson (14:32):
It's your military id, or you know yeah, yeah, the
hospital id is like right here.
You're just like, oh, and we'rehanding it over with our
driver's license.
Josh Porthouse (14:40):
We're like here you go, sir you said two forms
of id, right here you go, yeahtwo form.
Jenn Johnson (14:45):
Yes, yes, you want a third.
I've got a hospital badge andI've got this and I've got my
stethoscope.
We're good, right, like yeah,and once they figure out it's ER
, they're like, oh okay.
Like there seems to be anothersmall level of distinction
within and, again, I've onlyever been an ER nurse, so I
don't know if an ICU gettingpulled over is any different,
but it's an understanding,because we do see them, we do
(15:07):
get to work with you guys and wedo get to you see the same
stuff and you're just like whatwas with guy and we, you know,
convince and we chit chat yeah,well, that's an important
distinction too, because I alsodon't want it to come across
that people are trying to getaway with things and
inadvertently able to, like, Idon't want to undermine, you
know, societal underpinnings orwhatever, but I think it really
does make a big differencebecause there's a lot of,
(15:29):
especially in the last three tofour years.
Josh Porthouse (15:31):
There's a lot of societal, maybe even distrust,
but doxing doxing is the term Iheard a couple years ago right
nothing to do with well, maybe Idon't even know what it really
means something to do withindoctrinating, or or I don't
know so if somebody is aninfluencer or has an opinion on
the web that you really dislike,you know I'm going to find you.
Jenn Johnson (15:55):
they will find, like, your home address, your
where you go to shop, where,like, they'll find all the
places that you go in real lifeand put it out there for people
to be able to find you.
It's a negative thing wherethey're trying to get people to
come and harass you in personBecause, again, if it's just all
online, you can just shut offthe iPad or the phone or
whatever and you get off of itVersus this is like yeah, this
(16:18):
is more we're gonna get in yourface in real life.
Josh Porthouse (16:21):
Okay, so then to that point, I think there's two
aspects that are important tonote, then, where, on one hand,
it is no different than if youwere to voice this in the town
square 500 years ago and peoplecan talk to you now.
It's digitized and morewidespread, but the impacts
obviously can be similar, likewhat you just brought up.
(16:42):
But I think what's unfortunatemaybe about that phenomenon that
seems to be happening over thelast few years is that nobody
volunteered for that.
People understand and not tospeak for everybody, but I'm
pretty sure I'm close Peoplethat get into high stress
positions like a nurse, a cop, afirefighter, the military,
(17:03):
these types of civil servantpositions or what I said earlier
, frontline civil servantleaders.
There's got to be a singularword for that, I'll figure it
out later.
But these of professions youknow, yeah, service and duty
oriented and honor and, andthese types, if I want to help
people isms, I think there's acertain understanding you have
to have that people are going togive you a hard time,
(17:25):
inadvertently or not, wittinglyor otherwise, but you're not
going to be everybody's friend.
You didn't join that professionto be everybody's friend.
Like you said earlier, you getinto those situations where you
have to, you know, work with adifferent level of people in a
different scale of humanity, andso with that comes sort of the
(17:45):
dregs at the bottom of thebarrel of attitudes and bearing
and demeanor intact and whatever.
But it's different, I think,when it's intentionally hateful
or spiteful or targeting you fortrying to help.
It's a whole differentapplication of things.
All right, folks sit tight,We'll be right back on
Transacting Value.
(18:07):
Join us for Transacting Value,where we discuss practical
applications of personal valuesEvery Monday at 9 am on our
website,transactingvaluepodcastcom,
Wednesdays at 5 pm and Sundaysat noon on
wreathsacrossamericaorg slashradio.
But it's different, I think,when it's intentionally hateful
(18:29):
or spiteful or targeting you fortrying to help, it's a whole
different application of things.
You know what?
Let me ask you this.
So this is a segment of theshow called Developing
Character.
This is two questions, and it'sas vulnerable as you want to be
For anybody who's unfamiliarwith this segment.
I have a very strong belief,personally and professionally,
(18:52):
that it's either going to bevery difficult to build
communication skills andrelationships with people in any
industry, let alone high stressoriented positions like what
we're describing, if you don'tfirst have an idea who you are
as a person and through learningthat you can gain some empathy,
communication skills, anynumber of degrees of confidence,
(19:14):
resilience, whatever.
But I think a lot of that getsrooted into value systems,
because it's really all you haveat the end of the day.
If you're not a nurse anymore,who are you?
A mom, maybe?
An author, probably, but thenit's still a crutch of
identities, one for the next,but like, but then you're it's
still a crutch of identities,one for the next, but like.
(19:34):
At your core, these are thethings that ground your
character, that then you canbuild from any degree of
identities in the future.
And so, anyway, my point is twoquestions as vulnerable as you
want to be, as open as you wantto be, totally up to you, but
they started somewhere.
So my first question is whenyou were growing up, what were
some of the values that you wereraised around.
You think that contributed toall of these desires and
(19:55):
passions for you.
Jenn Johnson (19:56):
Yeah, hardworking for one.
I actually recall my dad when Igot my first job as a.
I worked at a dry cleaners andhe goes.
well, just don't forget likeyour working also affects me,
like your work then reflects onme also, and I'm like whoa, okay
, because you cleaned his shirtright, no, so it was just like
customer service and you know Iwould take their clients, yeah,
(20:18):
so it's just like, oh, I'm just,uh, I'm just doing the things,
but you know, end up, of course,getting fired from it because
you know you're 15 and it's yourfirst job.
You don't really you neverasked about how long to take for
breaks or this or that or theother, so it's just.
You know, I don't even know howlong I lasted, but so there was
hard working.
Being early was always just onething where my mom god bless
(20:40):
her she worked.
So she always picked us up latefrom whatever activity we were
at, I was always the last one togo.
So I'm like I'm always going tobe early.
It's non-stop going to be early.
That's and a lot of my nursingthing.
You know, in nursing you're noton time.
Unless you're 10 minutes early,you're on time.
You're 10 minutes late, yeah,because you have to get report,
you have to kind of get moved in.
You got to bring all your stuffand get, let night shift or day
(21:02):
shift go, and so it's okay.
So want to be early Caring forsure.
My mom's a vet, so you know, asa kid growing up you're like,
oh, mom's taking care of all thecats and dogs and it's so cute
Not realizing that she probablyputs down like two to six pets a
(21:23):
week like has to deal with that.
So you know, the wholeempathetic, caring portion kind
of cultivated that a little biton my own and again, like
nursing was never on my radargrowing up, never, ever ever.
This whole calling portion I'mnot sold on.
It's a career.
It's a great career, but it's acareer yeah but what?
to distance myself becausethere's got to be more depth to
(21:44):
it than a well, than a paycheckor just a career like, yeah, you
don't do anything for that longin that kind of an industry,
for just money yeah, when you dohave those small wins because
the big wins they are reallyhard to come by you know
somebody's dead and you bringthem back and you've done chest
compressions and you know maybethey're walking out a couple
months later and they have nodeficits, like you get that
(22:05):
maybe once or twice in a career,like, maybe, so it's the little
wins, maybe so it's the littlewins, it's being able to explain
to family why maybe being a donot resuscitate is the best
option for grandma, because youknow she's full of cancer and
she's not really responding andshe's in a lot of pain.
Like let me help you get overthe fear of death, let me make
(22:28):
you more comfortable in sayingwe're comfortable with this, let
me help you sit down and holdher hand and kind of get over
that fear of it being a verydisturbing, taboo kind of thing.
It's having those teeny tinymoments with a patient where my
(22:48):
mouth shoots off before Irealize what I'm saying, but yet
I'm saying something that hitshome so hard for them that we
then end up having a discussionthat they can't have with
anybody else.
And so another one was, youknow, 16 year old, super drunk
Friday night not a big deal.
But the older brother comes in,he's giving him the gears
(23:10):
better than I did, because Istarted out as Nurse Ratched and
was kind of just oh, what areyou doing?
And not being super nice.
And it wasn't until the kid kindof was sober enough to say like
, oh, I've been drunker thanthis before, it's no big deal.
I'm like whoa, what do you mean?
Drunker than this before?
You were like comatose dude,like what is happening.
And he's like, oh, yeah, it'sbeen you know what six or seven
(23:30):
months.
And before I realized what Iwas saying, I'm like well, what
happened six or seven months ago?
Oh, I watched my dad collapsein our kitchen and die.
Oh, pardon me.
Well, yeah, the only way I canactually sleep and not have
nightmares is if I get drunk.
Josh Porthouse (23:45):
Hmm.
Jenn Johnson (23:46):
Oh, you're like, my whole assumption about this
whole scenario is so wrong rightnow.
And A, being able toacknowledge that.
And then B turn on your heels.
I went back to my doc and said,hey, like we need a social work
consult, we need supportsystems for this kid, we need
referrals, we need all thethings.
(24:07):
And I've never once beforegiven out my home number, not
once as an ER nurse.
You don't even give out yourlast name.
It's not happening.
People would be too crazy.
But I gave this kid my homenumber, my cell phone.
I said whatever you need, Idon't care what time of day, I
don't care where you are.
If you need me, call me, textme.
Can't guarantee that I'll be up, but I'll be getting back to
(24:29):
you as soon as I can.
They've never used it, butthat's something I felt that I
needed to do.
I needed to extend that bridge.
Just, you know, the family wasvery obviously completely torn
up about this because it wasvery sudden and very traumatic.
And this is how this poor kidwas coping.
The family was loving and avery large family, but they
(24:51):
didn't talk about things verysiloed.
You know just their culture.
So I'm going okay.
Well, now your brother knowsabout this.
He can kind of take it back tothe fam and and explain what's
going on.
And and here's this kid goinglike no, no, no, it's fine.
Like if I need therapy, I'll,I'll afford it myself, I'll go,
I'll work at my job, and if Ineed meds, I'll go and I'll work
(25:12):
harder.
I'm like dude, you're 16.
Josh Porthouse (25:15):
Yeah, that's a lot to take on, it is not, it's
so much to take on.
Jenn Johnson (25:19):
So hoping that he got some help and at least
followed up with it a little bit.
But again, it's one of thosethings where I've done all,
literally all that I could doand there's nothing more than I
can.
So you know, you put it outinto the world and sometimes you
have to be okay with notknowing the outcome and as an ER
nurse, a lot of the time is youdon't get to hear.
(25:39):
It's the same with EMS or fire,where they bring somebody in
and they have to walk away andthey leave them with us and then
we admit them and then they goup to ICU and then we don't know
what happens from then on.
Whenever we get good news aboutsomebody who potentially comes
back to the ER or sends a thankyou letter or something, you
take those home, you print thoseout, you put them in the book
for those days that are just sodark you can't even fathom going
(26:02):
on or continuing in the career.
And those are the days youbreak out the letters and say no
, no, no, I am making adifference.
It's a very zigzag kind of wayof making a difference but still
making a difference.
Josh Porthouse (26:17):
Yeah, the toll that it can take any of these
types of situations that youwere just describing is really
underrated and obviously nottalked about, let alone the
residual impact.
But I never actually consideredthe points you just brought up,
I guess because I never had to.
But a cop, a firefighter,whoever is the catalyst to get
(26:39):
somebody in your door, a parent,a grandparent, whoever it is to
get somebody in your door atthe ER, may never see that
person again and know, for thesake of closure, if nothing else
did it work.
Did we do a good job all theway up closure?
If nothing else did it work?
Did we do a good job all theway up until?
Did we save somebody's life ordid we make a difference, some
sort of degree of fulfillment?
(27:01):
And that's powerful too, becausethank you is very simple,
seriously simple, all the way upuntil a handshake, a thumbs up,
a card, like you just mentioned, and it really can make a huge
difference Now in what I'm goingto consider raising humanity
there in the ER.
(27:22):
What about now?
I mean 16 years later, letalone a few decades of life
experience in total.
What are some of your valuesnow that I assume they've
shifted and changed over timeand become more individualized.
Jenn Johnson (27:34):
Yeah.
So now it's separating me fromthe nurse, now it's separating
me from just being a mom.
Now it's what makes me happy.
You know, there's nothing likeCOVID and and having attorneys
come forward to to volunteer towrite all the frontline workers
wills for free that you knowthey meant well, but you
(27:56):
couldn't really help but takehome the fact that you weren't
expected to survive.
You come very quickly to therealization that, oh, like, why
am I doing this?
Like what is happening and it'slike you know, am I getting
satisfaction out of the job?
Absolutely.
There's nothing better thanturning somebody around.
Maybe, maybe not saving a life,but turning something around, a
(28:18):
symptom, a fever, gettingsomebody feeling better and
turning.
Actually, what's moresatisfaction?
Like more satisfaction iswatching the bear of a human who
you know is lost their mind topain, drugs, alcohol, uh, grief
turn around and you know, nowthey're comfortable, now they're
(28:39):
feeling safe, now they havesome expectations as to what's
going on.
To then come back to beinghuman and to be kind of their
more baseline self versus theextreme of themselves and come
back and watching thatdifference is really interesting
to see.
Like, okay, you were absolutelyinsane on meth.
(29:00):
Like, just, you were not a niceperson, but now you've sobered
up and now there's pleases, nowthere's thank yous, and and
you're so sweet and you're likewhat just happened, like that
was quite the 180 holy cow sofinding satisfaction in the
smaller things and then findingsatisfaction in teaching, being
(29:23):
able to support our new nursescoming out, being able to gently
or more gently bring them intothe life and the lifestyle and
what it means to be a nurse, andespecially in this day and age
of technology and theexpectations of professionalism
and how you're supposed to be on24-7, 365.
Josh Porthouse (29:43):
Yeah.
Jenn Johnson (29:44):
Nobody can live up to those expectations.
So then it's just okay.
Be mindful of what you'reposting online.
Be mindful of anybody who's,you know, got their phone at
that right angle to tape you.
You know, just be mindful thateverybody has got not just a
microphone but a camcorder intheir back pocket and a lot of
(30:05):
things can be taken out ofcontext if you start, you know,
recording at the right moment,the number of times where people
try to bait you, to get yougoing, to say whatever they're
going to say, to really try anddig into you and to know that
that's what's going on, takes alot of effort and experience.
(30:27):
So to then introduce these, thenewer nurses, to like not just
nursing but then the ER becausethe ER is its own beast and say
like, hey, so this is, you know,this is the treatment and
street of mentality.
We're trying to get you in andtrying to get you out as fast as
possible for everybody's sake.
But when we can't, you know,here's what we're doing, here's
(30:48):
all the different things thatwe're leaning into or talking
about and all the things thatthey don't teach you in nursing
school, because that learningcurve is straight up once you
get out and then all of a sudden, you've got your own license,
like the responsibility of that,you're like I just I have to be
careful of this thing like Idon't know.
Josh Porthouse (31:10):
All right, folks , sit tight and we'll be right
back on Transacting Value.
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(31:36):
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Jenn Johnson (31:46):
The responsibility of that.
You're like I.
Just I have to be careful ofthis thing Like I don't know.
Josh Porthouse (31:53):
It's daunting and intimidating, it's
ridiculous.
Yeah, it's horrible.
Yeah, it's a lot the same, atleast in my experience, getting
into our Department of DefenseVery similar.
You look at it, you see thecommercials talk to the
recruiters.
Whatever it is something aboutit appeals to it and you're like
this is going to be pretty sick.
All right, I'm in sure, why not?
(32:18):
Yeah.
And then you go through all thebasic training and you go
through the courses similar inconcept, right to your, your
nursing school idea in parallelconstruct at least, and you get
through and you make it into thewhatever the fleet, the force,
the whatever branch you decideto join, cops being the same
firefighters to your firststation you know, know same
principle here You're like allright, I am totally classically
trained to be a level zerobeginner and then you can start.
(32:42):
I guess really you've proventhat you can handle the workload
and that you're trainable.
Now it's time to prove that youcan learn and do something
about it.
And I think that's understatedtoo.
I don't know if it's paralleledin any primary schools or
elementary schools or secondaryuniversity or whatever anywhere
else in academia quite in thesame light that it is in any of
(33:04):
these other circumstances wewere just talking about, Because
I feel like otherwise you'refixing to get into, say, ninth
through 12th grade or go to auniversity or a college or
whatever for a more advanced,whatever course of study, and
then you walk out and you'relike I'm not sure I'm really
qualified for anything at thispoint.
I don't know what to do, You'restill lost.
But I think the identity is thegrounding point there.
I think the focus on some sortof principled, value system or
(33:29):
way of living really does anchorand ground and make a huge
difference Living really doesanchor and ground and make a
huge difference.
Jenn Johnson (33:35):
The stereotypes alone, at least for nursing the
stereotypes that you're not agood nurse unless you give all
of yourself and leave nothing.
Same thing in the middle.
You're not a good nurse unlessyou absolutely do not ask for
help.
You're not a good nurse unlessyou kill yourself for your
patients.
You're not a good nurse unlessyou pick up every single shift
that's offered to you, Dressingthe part and smile on your face
(33:59):
and being professional all thetime.
That's great until the publicgets involved.
And then things get real diceyat times Because there's nothing
quite like coming up against,you know, a six foot five guy
who's just screaming at you andyou're just like do I want to go
for it?
And really you know, gloves offgangster style, or am I going
(34:20):
to lean into this whole feminineBS?
Just be like, sir, I'm so sorry.
You know, some days you're justlike try me.
Josh Porthouse (34:29):
Right, right.
Well, that's the other thing Ithink the public also needs to
realize when it comes to medicalstaff, especially in a
stressful environment like theer you know a very particular
place to make people not be ableto breathe very quickly or not
be able to walk very abruptly,you know like the people don't
understand that the nurses havethe decision for the size of the
(34:52):
things that are entered intothe human body on just about all
counts.
Jenn Johnson (34:57):
So IV sizes, catheter sizes, how much
lubrication we use, if thelubrication has got lidocaine so
it's numbing or not, the ETtube, all sorts.
There's a lot of differentsizes to a lot of different
things, and you catch more flieswith honey than with vinegar.
Nobody's going to want to gothe extra mile for you if you're
(35:20):
berating the crap out of them,we're just going to want to get
you the heck out.
Josh Porthouse (35:24):
Yeah, well, that's the difference, right,
like we had a patrol.
This was a while ago.
I was in Afghanistan, we wereon a patrol and it was the same
sort of idea.
We were on a patrol and it wasthe same sort of idea.
All the kids were in the bazaarand there were people around,
so we weren't really focused onany sort of a threat.
If anything, we were morecomplacent to it and complicit
to the moment than anything else.
But we walked through it andout to wherever we had to go
(35:45):
into the village and then turnaround and walk back through the
bazaar on the way back.
There was this kid there Iremember him distinctly, name
was haroon and he was standingthere and he watched us come out
and he watched us come back.
We went out two or three times aweek on foot on these patrols
and after a few weeks I wavedand he waved and after a few
(36:05):
days of that into the next week,eventually a couple of us.
He worked at his father's rugshop in the bazaar, which I'm
pretty sure the entire areasince it's been turned over it
doesn't exist anymore.
But he worked at his father'srug shop in the bazaar, which
I'm pretty sure the entire area.
Since it's been turned over itdoesn't exist anymore.
But he worked in his father'srug shop just the two of them
and he was just there becausewhere else are you going to go?
There's no school, there's youknow, uh.
And he was early teens, maybemid teens at the time.
(36:27):
But yeah, after a week of thatand waving as we went in and out
, eventually he and I werehaving lunch.
Eventually he and I spokeenough of each other's languages
to actually talk and dosomething.
And then I started working outwith him whenever we weren't on
patrol.
You build a relationship and Ithink to your point, there's a
very real degree, on one hand,where you can conduct your life
(36:49):
and lead through fear andthreats and whatever
intimidation tactics apply,especially when your stress
level is elevated.
It's very easy to do and slipinto that Mr Hyde type persona,
but on the other hand, the morestressed we get, the harder it
is to stay focused and makerational decisions.
Where it's not necessarily I'mparaphrasing it's not
(37:20):
necessarily, and I'mparaphrasing it's not
necessarily the fact that the Idon't know nasopharyngeal tube
can be bigger or longer orwhatever, as much as it is like,
I have now developed moreempathy for this person and I'll
go out of my way to ensurethey're more comfortable, not
necessarily out of my way tomake them less comfortable.
Same thing with this kid, harun.
You know like after a while itwas a lot easier to recognize
some degree of humanity in thiskid and help, and so it was
(37:41):
easier for me to remember, aswhatever busy, stressful levels
applied to go out of my way tohelp him than it was to ignore
him because he blended into thebackground and it really does
make a huge difference.
But I to ask you this, for thesake of time, jen, of all of
these experiences and all ofthis stuff that you've been
through the scenarios at thehospital, your personal life,
(38:02):
just growing up as a human whathas it all actually done for
your sense of self and yourself-worth?
As you talked a lot about otherpeople, but you're still you.
Jenn Johnson (38:11):
Which is typical, which is very typical of the you
know the nurse brain kind ofthing.
Your last care is alwaysyourself.
So it's been well since COVIDand hitting rock bottom, burning
out, coming back the whole bit.
It's been that my experiencematters and getting out of my
head where if I'm thinking aboutmyself or worrying about myself
(38:33):
or my comfort, that's selfish.
No, it's not, it's basic humandecency that you know, if I was
treating my patient the way thatI treat myself, I would be
horrified.
You're like, oh my God, you'redoing nothing personal, you're
barely getting out of bed,you're not really eating, you
know.
You're barely peeing, becauseyou know we run around like
(38:56):
maniacs, so we usually only peeonce every 12 hours or so.
Yeah, sure, which really isgoing to come back to haunt me
in my elder years.
And so it's now.
It's no, I'm going to push formy breaks, I'm going to push for
(39:17):
working part time right now.
I'm going to push for tellingmy stories that ended up, born
out of all the trauma with COVID, and getting these stories out
so that people, not just nursesbut other people know not just
what we've went through but whatwe continue to go through and
that, yes, the ER has beenportrayed as a very kind of sexy
and and ooh the adrenaline.
It's not that 99% of the time,it's a lot of the same thing
over and over and just kind ofgoing through the motions.
(39:39):
But it's the people that makeit hard, because dealing with
people and their emotions andthe suffering that you're seeing
and the inequalities that comewalking through the door and
you're like, how you know, howdoes this person over here get
everything handed to them andeverything's just fine and dandy
, and they've, you know, perfecthealth, whatever.
(39:59):
And here's this other personwho's had to work for every
minute of their life and havejust got, you know, hardship
after hardship after hardshipthrown at them Like how is that
fair?
And it's coming to terms withlike, well, everybody's got
their own journeys and you knowI can't change anything except
for what I can do in the moment.
(40:19):
So same thing with myself, youknow, looking back, treating my
body like a rave very forcefully, think about water and eating
on a semi-regular basis andmaking sleep a priority and not
worrying about the thoughtprocess of oh, sleeping in and
(40:40):
am I lazy or am I doing enoughfor all the things that run
through your head, especially asa mom?
But it's just like no, now it's.
If you want to call this myvillain era, sure do do that,
because if me taking care ofmyself and me finally worrying
about my own happiness is mebeing a villain, call me Cruella
.
I'm here for it.
(41:01):
Might as well just go for it,because you know, the sooner you
get to the no f's given kind ofera where everything happens,
you just have to deal with itand go on.
It's a beautiful place to haveno to low expectations, because
then you have no to lowdisappointment.
(41:22):
So everything turns out beingphenomenal, right.
If you've got no expectationsabout how the day is going to go
, you get to do something fun orsee something cool or help
somebody out a day, whereasotherwise you have been like, oh
, nothing really happened and itwas just such a busy day.
Well, change your perspective.
Step into somebody's shoes whodoesn't get to see this and
(41:44):
think about how it absolutelyblow their minds as to some of
the things that we see and do.
And I can ask people just aboutany question.
Josh Porthouse (41:52):
They'll probably answer it, yeah well, and all
of that also gets tempered witha certain degree of discernment
and inquiry and dignity, likeyou talked about, and and
respect and sort of a consciousinvolvement in your own life,
let alone just in other people's, and that balance is absolutely
terrifying when, especially,you make a career out of
(42:16):
neglecting yourself andself-sabotaging, because you
know the general excuse is well,it's in the name of the public
good or for somebody else orwhatever.
In the military it's the samething all the time where you
make a career out of the teamand the eye doesn't necessarily
fit into that, and then when theteam's not there, who's left
(42:37):
and the identity changes.
That's tough.
That's tough.
But in the last minute or sothat I've got with you, jen, if
people want to track down yourbook, to follow along with the
progress the stories learn,maybe book you to speak any
number of things.
Where do people go?
How do we do it?
Jenn Johnson (43:01):
Yeah, so you can find me at rxforgrowthcom
rxforgrowthcom.
You can find all of my booksand journals on Amazon.
If you search Jennifer AJohnson RN.
You can find me on TikTok andInstagram at ernursejen J-E-N-N.
And you'd find me on LinkedIn.
Jennifer Johnson, b-s-c-n-n-n.
And you'd find me on linkedin.
Jennifer johnson, bscn rn.
There's just so many, jenniferjohnson, so I had to do the bscn
it's.
It's makes you feel horrible.
The rns laugh.
(43:21):
We're like, oh, bscrn, but it'sjust too many jennifer
johnson's.
I should have kept my main name.
Yeah, if you need a hand, ifyou need a vent, by all come on
down.
I may not know military, but Imean I know people.
Josh Porthouse (43:36):
Exactly I was going to say I think you do.
I think you know more about thesame perspective than you might
give yourself credit for.
Plus, everybody's body is verysimilar, so you'll figure it out
.
Jenn Johnson (43:47):
Yeah, it's just, we're all here.
Be nice to each other, be kind,because we're all dealing with
the exact same crap, justdifferent variations.
Yep, that's kind, because we'reall dealing with the exact same
crap, just different variationsyep, that's it.
Josh Porthouse (43:57):
We're all uh growing through life separately
together we're all linked.
Jenn Johnson (44:02):
If you think we're not linked, we're all linked.
Six degrees of separation.
And now with social media,forget about it.
Josh Porthouse (44:08):
And 23andme yeah , absolutely, jen.
Again, I appreciate theopportunity.
I appreciate the conversation,the, the topics, the depth, your
vulnerability, your insight,and not for nothing, but the
amount of parallels that weapparently discovered throughout
this conversation as well waspretty sweet opportunity and
experience for me.
So, yeah, I really appreciateit.
Thanks for your time.
(44:29):
Absolutely Anytime anytime, allright.
Well, yeah, I remember you saidthat, but all right, we'll
catch up with you again later.
And to everybody who tuned intothe conversation guys, I
appreciate your time and yourinterest and your support,
obviously for our show.
For anybody who's unfamiliar,depending on the platform,
you're streaming thisconversation on click see more.
Click show more and there's adropdown for the conversation in
those show notes.
(44:49):
In that description you'll seelinks to Jen's website and
social as well, so you'll beable to track her down and
obviously her book if you wantit for pre-sale or actual
purchase once it comes out andit's fully published.
Please help yourselves, but thelinks they're on our website
and for this conversation we'llredirect you there as well.
Any other conversations on ourshow you want to check out
(45:10):
TransactingValuePodcastcom, andthat's worldwide.
It's still com, so you can gocheck it out and you can find
all the rest of our seasons aswell.
We're streaming on WreathsAcross America Radio.
We are now syndicated through afew different print magazines
here in the States as well, likeFirewatch Magazine.
But for right now my time's up.
(45:30):
Your time is valuable, so untilnext time we talk.
This is Transacting Value.
Thank you to our show partnersand folks.
Thank you for tuning in andappreciating our value as we all
grow through life together.
To check out our otherconversations or even to
contribute through feedbackfollows time, money or talent
(45:52):
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a review on our website,transactingvaluepodcastcom.
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(46:13):
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On behalf of our team and ourglobal ambassadors, as you all
strive to establish clarity andpurpose, ensure social
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(46:34):
individual sovereignty ofcharacter for yourselves and
your posterity, we will continueinstigating self-worth and
we'll meet you there.
Until next time.
That was Transacting Value.
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