Transform Your Life With Steve and Pete

Do you find yourself constantly looking for external validation and approval? This episode is for you. Learning to approve of yourself (flaws and all!) is key to being able to live in a place of freedom and bring the best out of those around you.

Transformation Tip: A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval - Mark Twain 

If you keep finding yourself in the approval trap, it is an indication that you ar...

Transformation Tip: “Efficiency is doing things right, effectiveness is doing the right things.” - Peter Drucker

Efficient  - achieving maximum productivity with minimum waste of effort and expense

• Management focused

Effective - being successful in producing a desired result 

• Leadership focused 

With efficiency and effectiveness, one is not better than the other, it is knowing when to use each one.

• Efficie...

Many people are overly focused on external leadership, but fail to realize the importance of self-leadership as a means to becoming a better leader to others. In this episode, Steve and Pete give practical tips for creating healthy self-awareness and developing the leader within each of us.  
 
 Transformation Tip: “Everything rises and falls on leadership” - John C. Maxwell

As soon as you notice something off, try to p...

Transformation Tip: “When we choose what to see and who we hang out with, we’re actually choosing our future.” 
 
Many people don't consciously choose their worldview. 
 
There is a battle for our attention, our beliefs, and our values, which is pushed through media outlets. 
 
What is my truth? 

Transformation Application: Find a headline of a current event and go and read that story in three diverge...

Transformation Tip: “Without Clarity you can’t move forward.” - Steve Chua

Concept(s):

1. Clarity is identifying and articulating the one thing that’s most important.
2. Not a new idea you haven’t thought of. It is already in you. 
3. Process of removal - remove small complications so only the big thing remains
4. Seeing how the pieces fit together

Transformation Application: We want to bring clarity to your purpose, so do one of ...

Transformation Tip: “The place God calls you to is the place where your deep gladness and the world’s deep hunger meet." - Frederick Buechner

Concept(s)

1. “You think you’re God’s gift to the world!” implying that they thought too highly of themselves. Well, the truth is, you really are God’s gift to the world!
2. You were born for a purpose
3. Our perspective is that we believe we were placed on this earth for a reason.
4. Difference...

Transformation Tip: “Your mess becomes your message.”- Ed Silvoso

Concept(s)

1. Life can be hard—really hard. 
2. These challenges helped shape who you are, and if you’ve worked through them, you’ve learned some valuable lessons. 
3.  A person to whom things come easily may not be able to explain their technique. But a person who had to learn the hard way can often explain, instruct, and empathize more effectively.  

4. IF you’ve w...

Transformation Tip: “The things that we love tell us what we are.” — Thomas Aquinas

Lead In

Concept(s)

1. The word “Passion” is overused.  
2. Sometimes looks like anger - the same coin
3. Desire versus the object of your desire
4. What do you really want?

Transformation Application: Draw a heart shape. Start filling it in with words that surfaced during these questions.

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Transformation Tip: “Success leaves clues” - Tony Robbins

Concept(s)

1. Looking at your past to identify times when you felt pride in your work and a sense of accomplishment, enjoyed it, you were probably in your zone, and leveraging your favorite skills and talents. 
2. Reverse engineer those scenarios to find patterns and trends
3. Looking at your past can also show which activities and settings did NOT work for you.
4. Caveat - We’re no...

Transformation Tip: “What would happen if we studied what was right with people instead of what's wrong with them?" - Don Clifton

Concept(s)

• People are complex. Human development and the person. 
• Helps you understand yourself, your needs, and your blind spots
• Helps you understand other people
• Giving traits a name and dissecting shines the light of understanding
• Who you are NOT.  What to stay away from. 
• Where to positio...

Transformation Tip: Nosce Te Ipsum - Know Thyself  - Socrates

Concept(s):

• Other people can see you better than you see yourself
• We’re our own worst counselors
• Blind spots
• Negative AND Positive qualities
• We tend to discount that which comes easily to us
• Accurate encouragement is powerful
• Constructive criticism, done well, can really help someone

Transformation Application: If you feel courageous enough, do a 360.

Free ...

Transformation Tip:” Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive." - Howard Thurman 

Concept(s)

1. Misalignment is a more significant factor contributing to burnout than overwork.
2. There’s a need for self-awareness so you can identify where you’d fit.
3. Are some people just lucky? 
4. Alignment 
5. In the next episodes, we’ll give you the framew...

Transformation Tip: “Turn your wounds into wisdom”. - Oprah Winfrey

Concept(s)

Consequences of unresolved pain form unhealthy mindsets and behaviors (the 10 saboteurs)

1. The Judge: generates false assumptions resulting in selective hearing. 
2. The Avoider: directs attention away from the conflict, leading to a lack of resolution
3. The Controller: self-protects and creates a fearful negative perspective of what can go wrong, restricti...

Transformation Tip: “Grief is the price we pay for love.” - Queen Elizabeth II

Concept(s)

1. Grieving is the natural human process of emotional suffering and adjustment experienced after a loss. It’s a resolution of internal conflict that allows one to move forward in life. 
2. It brings mental and emotional health, and potentially physical health.
3. It means you love and that you care
4. That’s why you hurt
5. You need to decide to process i...

Transformation Tip: “Self-forgiveness is not letting yourself off the hook. It’s gently taking the hook out.” — Dr. Thema Bryant

Concepts:

When we act in ways that betray who we are, hurt others, or make bad decisions.

• Unintentional mistakes/poor decisions
• Unintentionally hurt someone 
• Moral failure - betraying your conscience
• Intentionally hurt someone (revenge, slander, etc.)

It will lead to this cycle:

1. Shame

2. Guil...

Transformation Tip: “Forgiveness isn’t a feeling… It’s a choice.”

What is forgiveness?

• It releases any judgments we may have of the offender
• I let go of my right to be bitter, angry, vengeful, punitive, etc.
• We release our rights for an apology, vindication or justice
• It releases the offender from me to the universe 
• It prepares the way for us to deal with our negative emotions 
• It prepares the way for healing and potential recon...

Transformation Tip: “The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong." - Mahatma Gandhi 

Concept(s)

1. Offense -> hurt -> justification -> self righteousness -> judgment -> pride
2. A judgment is an authoritative conclusion that my perception is the only way to see things 
3. Rooted in offense and pain.
4. How do I know if I have a bitter-root judgment?
5. Fruit of a bitter root

Next week, we...

Transformation Tip: “There is nothing to fear except the power you give your own demons” - Sally Gardner

• What do we mean by your demons? - Internal thoughts and emotions that oppress, depress, obsess, and judge us or others.
• They imprison our minds with negative emotions and cause us to interpret life and relationships through a negative and potentially destructive lens 
• Leads to irrational behavior and unhealthy internal nar...

Transformation Tip: Proverbs 4:7  'The beginning of wisdom is this: Get wisdom. Though it cost all you have, get understanding.’

Concept(s) for “Getting Wisdom:

1. Pays multiplied dividends
2. Requires Humility and produces humility
3. Teachability - a lifestyle of curiosity and growth. Always be open to learning.
4. Play the long game

Practical Tips:

1. Get wisdom 
2. Hang out with wise people
3. Apply wisdom quickly - wisdom only w...