Don't Be A Leaner: You Were Created to Stand, Not to Lean on Others

What happens when you stop leaning and start standing in your own power? Everything changes.

Most of us have become unconscious leaners – waiting for validation before moving forward, depending on others' approval to determine our worth, or believing our success lies in someone else's hands. But as Ernest Holmes wisely observed, "Do not lean on anyone. You must stand straight in your own strength."

In this powerful follow-up to our "Borrowing Brilliance" episode, we clarify an essential distinction: borrowing ideas and wisdom from others doesn't mean leaning on them for support. Like an oak tree with deep roots, you possess everything needed to stand tall through life's storms. The infinite creative power you seek isn't external – it lives within you, waiting to be expressed. When you stand aligned and grounded, you become a clear channel for strength, clarity, and abundance. But when you lean, you block this natural flow.

Through practical strategies and compelling examples, we explore how to recognize when you're leaning and how to shift into a stance of personal power. You'll learn to claim your inner strength through daily affirmations, catch yourself in moments of dependency, deepen your spiritual roots, and take bold action even without perfect circumstances. One coaching client discovered that by recognizing themselves first instead of waiting for their boss's validation, everything shifted – not because their environment changed, but because they did.

Standing in your own power creates a presence that radiates without words. It's not about isolation but authentic connection from a place of wholeness. When you stop leaning, you stop waiting. And when you stop waiting, you start creating the life you were meant to live. Are you ready to stand?
Subscribe to Transformative Living Radio for weekly insights to help you tap into your limitless potential and transform your life from the inside out.

To book your free discovery coaching session today, please click here.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to Transformative Living Radio,
where we explore the power ofintentional change for personal
growth and fulfillment.
I'm Andre Flax, your host andcertified life and leadership
coach.
In our last episode, we talkedabout borrowing brilliance, how
we can spark our own ideas bydrawing from the wisdom and
light of others.
But here's the thing Borrowingbrilliance doesn't mean leaning.

(00:24):
But here's the thing Borrowingbrilliance doesn't mean leaning.
Too many of us are leaningleaning on approval, leaning on
circumstances, leaning on otherpeople to hold us up, and when
we do, we forget the truth thatwe were never created to lean.
We were created to stand.
In today's episode, entitledNever Be a Leaner, we're tapping
into the wisdom of ErnestHolmes from his book Creative

(00:46):
Minds and Success.
In this episode, we'll explorewhat it really means to stop
leaning, how to stand rooted inyour own strength and how to tap
into the infinite power alreadyliving inside you.
Because when you stand firm,aligned and unshakable, you
become unstoppable.
You don't wait for the world tochange, you start creating.

(01:09):
So if you're ready to stopleaning on others and start
standing on your own brilliance,grab a pen and a pad and if
you're ready, let's begin.
Hello and welcome to anotherempowering episode of
Transformative Living Radio.
I'm Andre Flax, your host andcertified life and leadership

(01:31):
coach.
Now, before we dive intotoday's message, I want to pause
and connect it back to our lastepisode entitled Borrowing
Brilliance.
In that conversation, weexplored how none of us has to
start from scratch.
We can borrow ideas and wisdomand inspiration from the great
minds and experiences that camebefore us.

(01:53):
We can borrow brilliance tospark something new within us.
But here's the key Borrowingbrilliance doesn't mean leaning.
When we borrow brilliance,we're not asking someone else to
carry us, we're not shrinkingback.
We're not waiting for others tovalidate us.
We're standing tall, choosingto take those ideas, those

(02:17):
lessons and light our own candle.
Think of it like fire.
You can borrow a flame to lightyour own candle, but once it's
lit, it's your flame.
You don't keep leaning on othercandles forever.
You stand in your own light.
And that's the bridge intoday's episode, because today

(02:38):
we're talking about what ErnestHolmes called never be a leaner.
Now, this is about more thanjust leaning or borrowing.
It's about standing tall,unshakable and rooted in that
power that is already livingwithin you.
You see, holmes reminds us,quote do not lean on anyone.
You must stand straight in yourown strength, end quote.

(02:59):
And that's precisely wherewe're going today.
So let me be clear about what Imean by the term leaning.
You see, a leaner is someonewho waits for life to happen to
them instead of creating it.
A leaner is also someone whobelieves that their destiny is
in someone else's hands.

(03:20):
Think of it this way If you leanon a crutch too long, your
muscles weaken, you forget howto walk on your own, you lose
your strength.
Now, when we lean on approval,on other people's strength, on
luck, on circumstances, weforget the truth, and that is we
are powerful.
I want you to picture an oaktree strong, tall and rooted.

(03:45):
Now that oak tree doesn't leanon the tree next to it to grow.
Its roots go deep, its branchesstretch high towards the sky
and when the storms come, itdoesn't topple, it stands.
You see, my friend, that oaktree is you.

(04:06):
Now here's a more profound truth.
When you lean, you're sending amessage to the universe, and
that message is I don't trustmyself, I don't believe I can
handle this, but the spiritualreality is everything that you
need is already within you theinfinite, the creative mind, the

(04:27):
spirit, god.
It isn't outside of you, itlives within you.
It expresses through you.
And when you stand straight,aligned and grounded, you open
yourself up to that power.
You become a clear channel forstrength, clarity and abundance.
But when you lean, it's likekinking the hose you block the

(04:51):
flow.
Let me give you another example.
Imagine electricity flowingthrough a cable.
If the wire is bent too sharply, the current is disrupted.
When you straighten it, thecurrent flows freely again.
That's your mind, that's yourspirit Straight, aligned,
grounded, strong.

(05:12):
So let's bring this home In arelationship.
A leaner might say I'll onlyfeel good if they love me back.
But one who stands says I knowmy worth, I bring love into this
relationship.
In a business situation, aleaner might be someone who

(05:34):
waits for the perfect moment,the one who stands.
They move, they act and theycreate.
Now I remember a particularclient that I was coaching who
said to me I just can't moveforward until my boss recognized
me.
They didn't realize that theywere actually leaning.
So I asked them what wouldhappen if you recognized

(05:56):
yourself first, if you stood onyour own confidence and if you
led from there.
Well, within weeks everythingshifted, not because their boss
changed, but because they did.
You see, when we stop leaning,we stop waiting.
And when we stop waiting, westart creating.
So how do we move from leaningto standing?

(06:19):
Well, let me give you fourpractical but powerful
strategies to help you startstanding versus leaning.
Strategy number one is to claimyour power.
Daily, each morning, declare Istand in my own strength, the
infinite upholds me within me.
Now I want you to say it untilyou believe it.

(06:40):
You see, affirmations don'ttrick the mind, they train it.
Now, strategy number two is tocatch yourself leaning.
What I mean by this is noticewhen you're waiting for
someone's approval, notice whenyour fear makes you hold back.
You see, awareness is the key.

(07:06):
The moment you see it, you canstraighten it.
Now, strategy number three isto deepen your roots.
Like the oak tree example, yourstrength comes from roots, and
that's through meditation,through prayer, journaling and
silence.
The deeper your roots, thestronger you'll stand.
Now, strategy number four is totake bold action.
Standing isn't just an innerposture, it's an outer action.

(07:29):
If you've been waiting for theperfect moment, stop, move, take
the next step, make the phonecall, write, launch, begin.
You see, momentum builds bymovement and movement creates
strength.
Remember, when you stand,you're telling the universe I am

(07:50):
ready and life always answersreadiness.
Now, as we wrap up this episode, I want to take a moment to
have you imagine something.
Imagine you're walking in aroom, everyone else is leaning,
leaning on walls, leaning onothers, leaning on excuses and

(08:11):
then there you are standing,tall, centered and confident.
You don't have to say a word,but people notice, because
presence I mean true presenceradiates.
That's who you are, that's whoyou've always been.
As Holmes said, never be aleaner, always be strong, Always

(08:35):
be independent and listen.
This doesn't mean we don't needpeople.
You see, we're wired forcommunity, for connection, but
there's a difference betweensharing strength and depending
on others to hold you up.
You don't lean because youdon't have to.
You are whole, you are completeand you are enough.

(08:56):
So today, decide to stand,stand in your business, stand in
your relationships and stand inyour dreams, and never be a
leaner.
Well, that's our show for today.
We hope that you found thisepisode both insightful and
inspiring.
You found this episode bothinsightful and inspiring.
Join us each week for practicaltips, actionable insights and

(09:19):
inspiring stories to help youtransform your life.
We hope you can join us.

Speaker 2 (09:29):
We'll see you soon To experience a free coaching
session with Andre Flax.
Click the link in the shownotes to book your coaching
session today, or contact him atandre at
transformativelivingradiocom.
If you enjoyed this episode,leave us a comment.
Wherever you get your podcastand share it with friends.