September 29, 2025 • 44 mins
What if the colleague who drives you crazy is actually the person you need the most?
In this eye-opening conversation, communication expert and Certified DISC® Facilitator E.G. Sebastian reveals how understanding personality differences through DISC can transform workplace relationships and dramatically reduce conflict. With over 20 years of experience inspiring 500+ audiences worldwide, E.G. breaks down the four primary styles and shows how they impact teamwork, leadership, and communication.
✅ Dominance (D): fast-paced, task-oriented, decisive—but sometimes too blunt
✅ Influence (I): energetic, people-focused, inspiring—but may overlook details
✅ Steadiness (S): supportive, loyal, steady—but can resist change
✅ Conscientiousness (C): precise, analytical, quality-driven—but may overanalyze
You’ll learn how to spot each style, flex your own communication to connect better, and see why the traits that frustrate us most in others are often the very strengths our teams need.
Whether you’re a leader building balanced teams or simply trying to get along better at work, this episode gives you practical tools to reduce conflict, boost collaboration, and appreciate the unique wiring of your colleagues.
Want to go deeper with what we covered in this episode?
Here are a few next steps to keep learning:
- Get Sebastian’s book, Communication Skills Magic – Chapter 3 explains the DiSC Model in detail, while Chapters 4–7 break down each style: what motivates them, their fears, how to avoid conflict, how to build stronger relationships, and more. Grab the free digital version here: https://communicationskillsmagic.com/free-download
- Join one of Sebastian’s free upcoming webinars – Live, interactive sessions to help you sharpen your people-reading and communication skills: https://communicationskillsmagic.com/future-events
Remember: DiSC is not about judging or putting people in boxes. It’s about understanding natural tendencies, improving communication, and strengthening relationships at work and in life.
🔔 Subscribe for more tips on workplace survival and career success!
🎙️ Got a burning question for your career?
👉 Submit A Question
💼 Want to share your insights?
👉 Be A Guest
🌐 Connect with the Transparent HR Podcast on Social Media:
YouTube
TikTok
LinkedIn
💼 Connect with Prince Tate
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_00 (00:00):
Why can't people get along at work?
It's a question every person hasasked at some point in their
careers.
Today I'm sitting down withsomeone who has the answers.
E.G.
Sebastian is a strategiccommunication consultant, a
certified disc facilitator, andthe author of Communication
Skills Magic.
(00:20):
He's inspired over 500 audiencesworldwide, helping leaders and
teams communicate better, worktogether, and actually get
results that they need.
In today's episode, we'rebreaking down disc DISC.
What is it, why it matters, andhow it can actually transform
(00:42):
the way we connect at work.
See you then.
Welcome back to the TransparentNature Podcast, where we bring
real conversations to help younavigate your careers and
(01:02):
workplace challenges.
It's your host, Prince Tate, andI want to personally thank you
for listening to the podcast.
Also, I want to give someone ashout out if you are listening
to the podcast.
What I want you to do is go tomy YouTube channel, the
Transparent HR Podcast, andleave a comment.
(01:24):
And at the next episode, I willmention you.
So if you want to get a shoutout on the podcast, this is your
opportunity.
And also, while you're on there,don't forget to hit that
subscribe button, share thisepisode with a friend who could
benefit from us and leave us areview.
Your support continues to helpus to bring real insights that
(01:48):
help you succeed in your careeras well as within your
workplace.
I'm super excited for today'sepisode.
You heard the intro.
We have a very dynamic speakerwith us.
Not just a speaker, but he's aguest and have become my buddy
on LinkedIn.
(02:08):
His name is E.G.
Sebastian.
Welcome to the show.
How are you today?
Pretty good.
SPEAKER_01 (02:13):
Thank you for the invitation.
Longtime fan.
Love your podcast.
If this is your first time here,make sure to listen to the other
episodes also.
Really great, great stuff.
SPEAKER_00 (02:25):
I appreciate you, man.
I really do.
And um, believe it or not, a lotof people don't realize that
most of my guests, I find themon LinkedIn.
Like we just connect, they havea story to share, they have
something valuable to share, andbam, they're on my podcast.
(02:45):
So thank you for connecting withme.
Hey, but let's get into theepisode.
But before we do that, let melet me slow down a little bit.
Where are you from?
SPEAKER_01 (02:58):
Yes.
People sometimes can't hear whatI'm saying because they're
wondering about the accent.
I'm Hungarian.
And then the other questionpeople ask is, what do I call
you?
IG.
Especially international peoplefeel uncomfortable calling me I.
(03:20):
My real name is Irvin, but Ican't pronounce it.
So people call me Herbie,Kermit, Eric.
So 20 years ago, I simplifiedit.
Nobody misunderstands it.
And it's easy when you look forE.G.
Sebastian, I was the only onefor almost 20 years.
Now there are two of us.
SPEAKER_00 (03:39):
Awesome, awesome.
So let's get into the episode.
Man, I want to start off withthis question.
Why do you think it can be sohard for people to get along at
work?
What makes it so challengingthat certain individuals, I
mean, they just don't click.
They they it it seems like everytime they have a conversation,
(04:02):
they're clashing.
Tell us the answer to thismysterious problem.
SPEAKER_01 (04:10):
That's an excellent question.
And just just imagine going towork and not having difficult
people around you.
Just imagine getting along,collaborating, and achieving
goals together.
What happens is unfortunately iswe have different personality
styles or communication slashbehavioral styles.
(04:33):
And when you're not available,when you're not aware of those
differences, conflict isguaranteed.
You just won't understand whyinstantly some of your
coworkers, and unfortunately,some of your family members, and
this can be your child or spouseor parent, you just constantly
butt heads because you don'tunderstand.
(04:55):
In my workshops, I often startwith saying, like, how many of
you believe it's great to livein a diverse world where
everybody behaves, thinksdifferently?
All hands go up.
And then how many of you wouldlike to live in a world where
everybody behaves the same way,things the same way, no hand
goes up?
Then I put my hands on my hipsand I say, You guys, you're a
bunch of hypocrites.
(05:16):
Because on one hand, you say youwant diversity, diverse
behaviors, diverse thinking.
Right.
But then when somebody thinksdifferently, behaves
differently, you think they aredifficult jackass or half
labels, right?
So when you learn about thesedifferences, about 70 to 80
percent, perhaps for some peoplemore, of your stress and
(05:40):
difficult people just disappearin the workplace.
So it's it's an amazing uh uhmodel, and that absolutely
changed my life, made me abetter parent, a better husband,
and um and also a bettermanager.
SPEAKER_00 (05:55):
Man, I love how you ask them that question because I
was actually driving in my car.
I always have random thoughts,right?
Uh whether I'm leaving work,going to work, or going
anywhere.
And I was thinking, you know,diversity, right?
Uh we talk about, oh, we wantdiversity, right?
But then people don't realizethat when you have diversified
(06:20):
teams and organizations, youhave a lot of people who think
differently, who actdifferently.
And in turn, it does make itmore challenging to get work
done because you have to spend alonger time, I would like to
say, in some cases, debatingwith people, right?
(06:44):
Why we should do this, why weshouldn't do this, you know, uh,
you know, how do we cultivate uhyour mindset with the other
person's uh views and thoughts,and how do we merge them
together and come to a solidfoundation or a common ground?
And when you're talking aboutgetting along with people, one
(07:06):
of the things you said is youhave to be self-aware.
You you have mentionedself-awareness, right?
And so I think a lot of times,you know, in answering this
question, why do why why is itso hard for people to get along
at work?
It's because we're different.
And the sooner you realize we'redifferent and that's okay,
(07:28):
that's when you be good, andthat's actually where uh
emotional intelligence comesinto play.
Right?
And so I think in terms of whatwe're about to discuss today,
you know, disc, emotionalintelligence, they have a lot to
do with each other, right?
SPEAKER_01 (07:47):
Let me just give you a bit of great news right now.
That by the end of this episode,you will realize that the people
that annoy you most are actuallythe people you will need most in
your life because they havestrength that complement yours.
And because they are sodifferent, that's why there's
this setup for tension anddifficult conversations between
(08:11):
the two of you.
But actually, when you realizethat you are complementing each
other, you will be moreaccepting and you will embrace
and and appreciate that person.
So it it has transformativepowers.
That's why 70 uh around 77% ofFortune 500 companies invest in
disk training each and everyyear for the past few decades.
SPEAKER_00 (08:32):
Wow, wow, man, you said a lot there.
But you know, I I think aboutthat statement of opposites
attract, right?
SPEAKER_01 (08:41):
And when they get together, they attack.
SPEAKER_00 (08:47):
But um That's the story of me and my wife.
Yeah, and and a lot of people,right?
But anywho, uh let's dive intodisk.
What is disc uh from yourexpertise?
Uh, what is it, and how does itactually help individuals and
teams in the workplace?
SPEAKER_01 (09:08):
So we are social beings.
As humans, our happiness, oursuccess depends on our
relationships.
Full stop.
That's that's the main thing.
Your communication skills, yourpeople skills determine your
success at work and in yourpersonal life, everywhere.
Yet most of us never invest inuh developing these skills.
(09:33):
So this is a simple tool, Iwould say is the simplest tool
on the market that helps youlike in the Matrix.
Those of you who watch TheMatrix, when Neo starts seeing
everything in code and theagents are shooting at him, he
doesn't even have to dodgebullets anymore because he sees
(09:53):
the code, he can just modify thecode and he can just grab the
bullet and just throw it away.
So same disk does that in yourrelationship world.
Instead of seeing difficultpeople, a nitpicky and an anal
person or a verbose and why isshe always so hyper?
So like all of these differentpeople that you see now as
(10:16):
difficult, once you go through adisk training, you see them as
different.
People are not weird, they'rejust differently wired.
And when you see that, then youappreciate each of these for
their strength.
Stress goes down, relationshipsimprove.
It's like four distinctlanguages.
I mean, imagine you go to Franceand you try to speak to
(10:38):
everybody in English.
Some will understand you, manywill not.
Same in relationships.
If I try to talk, before I knewmy wife's style, we had conflict
all the time.
Luckily, I went through this 21years ago.
Transformed our marriage.
Wow.
So it's it's a very powerfultool.
SPEAKER_00 (11:00):
So it's not just it's not just used in the
workplace.
SPEAKER_01 (11:04):
Absolutely not.
I started up as a relationshipcoach, but it's very hard to get
coaching clients.
So I sold my soul and starteddoing corporate training, and I
felt really bad.
And then I when I did my firsttraining, I realized, oh my God,
how silly I am.
(11:24):
These are people, they will takethese concepts home.
And I do most mostly full-dayworkshops, so I share personal
stories as well.
So all of those concepts that Ishare go home with them, and
they will be better spouses,better parents, better in all
their relationships.
SPEAKER_00 (11:42):
Just better individuals, right?
Absolutely.
Better human beings.
So so I I have this question.
So why disc?
There's a lot of person otherpersonality um assessment tools.
People mention Myers Brig.
Um, there's Clifton StrengthFinders, which may be a Anagram.
(12:02):
Yeah.
I mean, there's plenty of othercallers, animals.
Right.
There's plenty of other whydisc?
Why does disc work so well?
SPEAKER_01 (12:13):
And this is why you're a great podcast host
because you ask great questions.
I'm an assessment addict.
Assessments.
I took all of the assessments onthe planet that I that I came
across, anagram, Myers, Briggs,all of them.
And I found value in each ofthem.
(12:33):
Great value.
Disk with a lowercase I and theR after it is the most
validated, most research andvalidated model.
All of the other ones have greatvalue, also.
But DISC is one of the few thathelps you easily recognize the
(12:57):
four different styles, not justyourself.
Most of the other ones, theyhelp you understand yourself and
how to improve yourself.
Disk, yes, it helps youunderstand yourself, which is
very liberating.
On my feedback forms, it comesup all the time.
I have thousands of feedbackforums where people say, thank
(13:17):
you for helping me understandmyself, that I'm not broken,
that I'm not mentallychallenged.
All kinds of people wrote allkinds of things, but thank you
for helping me understand me.
But that's just a small part.
The biggest part of this ishelping you understand the other
three styles and connect better,communicate better, and as a
manager, motive motivate themmore effectively, understand
(13:40):
their fears, their strengths,their weaknesses, so you know
where to put people.
SPEAKER_00 (13:44):
Yeah.
Wow.
That's amazing.
It just doesn't help youunderstand you and your
personality, but it helps you toreally connect with the other
styles.
SPEAKER_01 (13:56):
It's the key to your relationships.
It's cracking the code to humanconnection.
SPEAKER_00 (14:01):
Wow.
That is really dynamic rightthere.
Say that again.
SPEAKER_01 (14:07):
It is the key to your relationships or cracking
the code to human connection.
SPEAKER_00 (14:13):
Wow, that is so deep.
That is so deep.
But you know what?
Let's dive even deeper.
So, what are the four differentstyles?
The D, the I, the S, and ofcourse the C.
What are they?
And what are some commonstrengths and challenges of
(14:34):
each?
SPEAKER_01 (14:35):
Before I tell you about the four styles, first
I'll give you the key.
Okay.
So you easily recognize the fourstyles.
Even if you don't know anythingabout them, you can easily
recognize them.
And then we will give you a linkwhere you can get the cheat
sheets on the tendencies of eachstyle.
(14:58):
I have I have 15 of these.
Oh wow.
And then this one is the generaltendencies of each, like their
main focus, what are driven bythey can come across as under
pressure, how they behave,everything about them.
So very simple.
And this is the power of this,the simplicity of it.
(15:22):
There are only two criteria thatyou have to remember.
SPEAKER_02 (15:25):
Okay.
SPEAKER_01 (15:26):
People are either fast-paced or moderate-paced.
Easily observable.
When you meet somebody and youtalk to them, some people talk
really fast, and some peopletalk really slowly, and maybe
they smile.
But they have and they they andthe fast-paced people, so here
is what you asked in thebeginning about the conflict and
(15:48):
the uneasiness.
Like I'm a very fast-pacedperson.
And when I talk to somebodywho's like name, date of birth,
address, and and anything thatthey ask, they they ask look in
a really slow, and my chest likefeels constricted, like, what's
(16:10):
wrong with you?
Chop, chop.
Okay.
Fast paced, moderate pace, too.
Okay.
So based on this knowledgealready, you will know that
fast-paced people, they takequicker decisions.
They are decision makers rightaway.
Moderate-paced people, they willthink before they decide.
(16:31):
They will research a little bit.
They will perhaps discuss itwith others.
The fast-paced, they are moreimpulsive, they're more
outspoken.
The moderate-paced, they aremore thoughtful, more reserved.
They think before they speak.
Like for me, that was like, wow,who thinks before they speak?
It turns out that there are twopersonality styles.
(16:52):
Interesting.
They do.
They think before they speak.
So just this alone,understanding the pace of
people, so these are tendenciesthat we gravitate towards.
The fast-paced people can bevery outspoken, but many of us
we learn to tone it down.
(17:13):
And I will say it now and I willsay it again later.
Hopefully, I will remember tosay it later.
That all our weaknessesperceived by others are a result
of our strength pushed to theextremes.
So the fast-paced, they areoutspoken, right?
But that can offend others.
Also, we can over like we cantalk over others, right?
(17:39):
Bulldoze over others.
So we have to tone it down andlet the moderate-pace people
also speak up.
The moderate-pace people comeacross as hesitant because they
think before they speak.
Wow.
So when you don't understandthese differences, then but
yeah, so these are naturaltendencies.
But again, all of the tendenciesthat I will speak about, you can
(18:01):
flex.
We call it flex.
SPEAKER_00 (18:03):
Okay.
SPEAKER_01 (18:03):
Like when you talk to your child, for example, even
though I'm fast-paced, when Italk to my seal my
moderate-paced child, I willslow down a little bit.
Because I know that if I'mtalking so fast, he feels a
little bit rushed and maybe eventhreatened.
And in the workplace, too, it'svery important, you know, like
(18:24):
the way you are you areperceived based on these.
So the fast-paced people can beperceived sometimes as
insensitive and rushing.
Like, why are you rushing?
Why why what's you know?
I need to the moderate-basedpeople, they need to understand
first um why they should dosomething.
So they are they are more um sothe fast-based they they love
(18:47):
change.
The moderate pace, they lovesteadiness, they love routine.
Fast-based people dislikeroutine.
So already this lets you readlots of things about people,
general tendencies again.
Then on the other axis, so wehave a an X.
We have an X.
We have the vertical axis andthe horizontal axis.
On the horizontal axis, we havepeople focused versus task
(19:10):
focused.
And you will recognize usuallypeople from people focused or
test focused because the peoplefocused, they smile.
As soon as you approach them,they smile.
I stand in line in a store, andsomebody just turns around and
right away we connecting, andand we tend to connect with
(19:32):
people who are more like us, ofcourse.
Right.
Yeah, let's say my wife getsthere a little later and I'm in
a big discussion with this guy,and my wife is like, Oh, you you
it's your friend?
Like, I'm like, no, we just met.
But you know, somebody watchingfrom outside, they think we've
known each other forever.
Now, this is not for everystyle, this is for the I will
get to the influence style, themore people-oriented and
(19:54):
fast-based.
We are very open, very friendly.
But yeah, so people-orientedpeople, they are more emotional,
they they are more friendly,they tend to uh be more
accepting, and um so justgenerally they are more more uh
open.
And and the task-orientedpeople, on the other hand, they
(20:18):
are more cautious, they are moreuh they love processes, they
love to w work on tasks,numbers, concepts, uh clear
goals.
The people-oriented people, theyare more collaborative, they
love to work with people.
The task-oriented people, theydo well on their own.
(20:39):
They often prefer working ontheir own, or if in a team, then
work on some specifictask-oriented um uh tasks.
But that's why when you knowthis, you won't put in customer
service the task-orientedpeople, and again, we can flex.
SPEAKER_00 (20:58):
Right, right.
SPEAKER_01 (21:00):
And and you won't have the people-oriented people
work on details like Excelsheets and and all kinds of uh
tasks that require great detail,great attention, and analytical
thinking.
So so when you understand thesetwo X's, that's already when you
(21:21):
um see some really clearbehavioral tendencies.
SPEAKER_02 (21:25):
Right.
SPEAKER_01 (21:26):
When you recognize somebody, so here we go into the
four styles, when you recognizethat somebody is fast-paced and
task-oriented, then you knowthat that's a dominance style.
They can be, they they love totake charge, they are uh they
are outspoken, they are blunt,they come across as blunt
(21:48):
because their goal is to getthings done so they don't spend
too much time on chit chat,right?
They actually they dislike that.
Uh and again, when when youlearn about this, you learn how
to approach them, how to talk tothem.
I recently visited Coca-Cola, uhuh a Coca-Cola bottling plant,
and each door they had a plaquethat said, I'm a dominant style.
(22:12):
When you come in, stick to thebottom line, don't waste my time
with chit chat.
So it gives for every style onthe door, it says how to talk.
You know, like the S style, whenyou come in, please smile, slow
down a little, a little, and soit gives all these, so uh it
it's uh yeah, it's powerful whenit's applied on the job in in
multiple ways.
SPEAKER_00 (22:31):
Yeah, so let me ask you this um because I I want our
listeners to kind of picturethemselves into which category
they're in, right?
So just just really briefly, asyou uh dive into them, what what
what are the four styles?
SPEAKER_01 (22:50):
So the four style, yeah, the dominance, influence,
steadiness, andconscientiousness.
Okay.
And the beauty of attending alive event is we break up
people, fast-paced people cometo this side of the room,
moderate-paced on that side.
And then I will ask specificquestions like how many of you
(23:11):
like routine work?
Well, the the moderate-pacedhands will go up, the fast-paced
hands will not go up.
So they there's a visual to seehow different we are, um, yet
how predictably different weare, right?
So, but yeah, so as as you haveto identify am I more
(23:32):
moderate-paced as I talk, as Imove, as I bring decisions, or
am I fast-paced?
Am I more impulsive, bring quickdecisions, more outspoken?
And are you more people-orientedor task-oriented?
So if you are people-oriented,uh people-oriented and
fast-paced, then you're aninfluence style.
Very personable, great verbalskills.
(23:55):
They are the only style who canpersuade you to something that
even they don't believe in.
So have to be careful.
Again, strengths pushed to theextreme can become your
weakness.
They when when it's a if it's asky high eye or influence, so we
are all on a spectrum.
SPEAKER_00 (24:16):
Right, right.
SPEAKER_01 (24:17):
Actually, so this imagine this is a circle, and
the more outside of the circleyour dot is, your style, the
more you display thesebehaviors.
The closer to the center yourdot is, when you take an
assessment, you will get a dot.
unknown (24:31):
Right.
SPEAKER_01 (24:32):
The more you can relate to the other styles.
Like my dot is right here, I D.
A little higher I, a littlelower D.
But yeah, so the I style theycan abuse their verbal skills
and they can wing it and theycan occasionally make up stuff.
Um, so we have to be careful totone it down.
SPEAKER_02 (24:52):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (24:53):
But they are very friendly, they are great in
customer service, sales, anyway.
So they they're str each andevery style has strength.
Neither is better than theother.
And then if you are moremoderate-paced and
people-oriented, then you're asteadiness style.
(25:15):
You're a steadiness style.
Steadiness style people are thenicest people on the planet, the
kindest, more supportive, mostloyal.
You walk up to them and you say,Janine, can you please help me
with yes?
Another coworker comes by, ohJanine, can you please come over
(25:35):
and see if of course.
They say yes to everything,yeah, and then they get
overwhelmed after a while.
So in my book, I spend a wholechapter on how to say no.
Because it's crucial for boththe I.
So these two, they get alongbecause both are fast-paced,
(25:56):
both are outspoken.
D and I.
They all have yeah, the D and I.
Because they they have things incommon.
The I and the S, they havethings in common.
So they are both very umsupportive and and and
emotion-based, verypeople-oriented.
So you have to understand all ofthese commonalities, and then
(26:19):
the opposing will be the onewhere the conflict will be, but
we'll get that in a second.
SPEAKER_02 (26:23):
Oh, yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (26:23):
So the S style, you have to understand that they
tend to help everybody.
So, so be mindful of that anddon't overwhelm them with with
too many requests, and expressyour appreciation for them.
Because they they are the mostloyal when they get a job, often
they stay in the job for 20, 30years.
(26:45):
Right.
The also, they are naturally thebest listeners.
The D and the I, they are theworst listeners.
We're great at just spewing outwords, but we suck at listening.
So when you understand this,then you learn to slow down and
listen.
The S is the best listener.
And then if you aremoderate-paced and
(27:07):
task-oriented, then you areconscientiousness style.
Conscientiousness style styleindividuals are analytical,
detail-oriented, and they reallylove to work with concepts,
numbers.
Now, often because they are sodetail-oriented and more
(27:31):
task-oriented, they can comeacross as a little cold, right?
And these are just generaltendencies.
I actually have met many C-stylepeople, and this is America.
So in America, you are taught tosmile, smile.
Yet many C-style people willnot.
And uh I and the S, whensomebody talks to you like
(27:52):
straight and just ask you verypointed questions, especially if
they ask you like theseanalytical questions, like you
don't even understand thequestion.
Like, what is the quotient ofthe whatever?
And then they expect you to, youknow, you get like a little
pressure in there and scared.
(28:13):
But I met many sea styles whoare very um personable and and
they smile.
I have a friend who I meetregularly, she's a sky high C.
Yeah, she's so kind andpersonable, and she said it's a
learned skill.
Actually, she's also thistrainer, it turns out.
(28:33):
Uh not not certified, but shedid she put on this training in
the past.
She said because she learnedabout this, she learned to get
out of that shell and be moresmiling and more personable and
listen to people's stories andlaugh when somebody makes a
joke.
Because C styles, sometimes theywill not laugh at your jokes.
They're like, I'm wasting mytime.
(28:54):
So, yeah, because the adjacentstyles they have lots of things
in common, they get along.
But the opposing styles, justthink about it, if somebody is
fast-paced and task-oriented,and if somebody is
moderate-paced andpeople-oriented, they have zero
things in common.
SPEAKER_00 (29:14):
So the DNA, they they typically have conflict.
SPEAKER_01 (29:22):
Especially if your dot on your assessment is close
to the edge, it's really hardfor those people to work
together if they don'tunderstand these concepts.
When they understand theseconcepts, then they know that
the dominant style can takequick decisions and do things
that the S style cannot.
(29:43):
And the dominant style knowsthat the S style can do things
that they are not good at.
At caring, at being empathetic,doing better customer service,
uh, doing routine work.
The dominant style hates routinework.
So So and then the I and uh theI and the C, again it's an
(30:05):
instant setup because the C isvery analytical, very detail
oriented, uh the I style is verypeople oriented, emotion
focused, nothing in common.
So again, it's an instant setupfor for tension and conflict.
But when you understand these,like I'm a sky high, a little
bit lower D.
(30:25):
I need the C people in my life.
And before I knew this, I wastrying to avoid them.
So when I hired my first team,it was a team of I DI kind of
guys, talking fast, bright eyes,and after a while nothing was
getting done, and everythinglooked like a mess.
(30:46):
So actually, I got so upset thatI fired everybody one day.
Oh wow.
Um, so when you don't understandthese things, uh things can get
better.
So naturally, we tend togravitate towards people, people
like us.
So if you don't understand thesedifferences as a hiring manager,
you tend to hire people justlike you.
(31:06):
That's another thing that it canhappen with race and religion
that you we tend to gravitate tohiring those two.
But we're talking aboutbehavioral style styles, and and
that's dangerous because I go tointo organizations and when we
do the assessments, I also printout the group culture, uh group
report, culture report, yeah.
(31:29):
And I see in some organizations,most people are like D, or most
people are C, and then theywonder why their customer
service sucks.
You know, there's no balance.
So you need to now, if you are ascience-based organization, yes,
most people should be C.
(31:49):
Unless you have salespeople, youhave uh people facing customers,
then yeah, those should be S S Icombination.
But yeah, so these are the thefour main styles.
And when you understand this,then uh again in my cheat
sheets, I have how to motivateeach, what are their strengths,
what are their weaknesses, uh,what are their fears, all kinds
(32:12):
of how to deal with them inconflict, how to avoid conflict,
uh, all kinds of uh great data.
SPEAKER_00 (32:19):
Wow.
Man, that was a lot that youlaid on us.
And and I hope that ourlisteners were able to kind of
picture it in their head asthey're listening.
Um, if you're on YouTube, youcan see uh the the the actual
video.
But if you're just listening tothe podcast, I I hope that you
can kind of picture yourself.
(32:39):
Am I a D?
Am I an I?
Am I an S or a C?
And I'm gonna tell you this,man, I'm I'm an I.
I took this assessment a fewyears ago, and I'll be
interested to see, you know, ifI take it again, what where it
will put me.
Would it put me higher I or, youknow, but nevertheless, um, you
(33:02):
know, just being aware, numberone, of where you are, which one
your style is, it's reallyimportant.
It's all about self-awarenessand it's all about understanding
you first so that you can thenunderstand how other people
behave and how other peoplereact, uh, how they communicate.
(33:25):
Um, you know, and and and whatit does is it really builds
people, bring them together,right?
So talk about a uh team buildingexercise, right?
This is, I believe, theultimate, especially when you do
the training, right?
This is the ultimate teambuilding exercise, at least in
(33:47):
my eyes.
If you really, really wantpeople to come together to learn
each other and build the team,disc assessments is where it's
at.
SPEAKER_01 (33:58):
And and in the training, yeah.
So first I break them up basedon pace and and focus, people
versus task, and thenfast-paced, uh, task-oriented on
one side, fast-based people.
So I break them up in fourgroups, right?
There are these sticky charts onthe wall and they put up their
strength.
SPEAKER_00 (34:16):
Okay.
SPEAKER_01 (34:17):
And then they switch, they go around and they
put dots to what they perceiveas weaknesses.
So what you think are yourstrength, you will be shocked to
see that some of the otherpersonal or behavioral styles
they perceive as weaknesses, andthey're like, what?
(34:38):
But that's what you need tounderstand that as a dominant
style, for example, you can beperceived as blunt and like a
bulldozer, you know, you youbulldoze over people.
So you need to tone it down alittle bit and be a little bit
more mindful on how you talk topeople because you can come
across as inconsiderate becauseyou're so focused on results.
That's their main focus.
(34:59):
And this that's great because inemergencies you don't want them
to hesitate.
They anything when it happens,any emergency, the D-style right
away will take charge and theywill make things happen.
The I style tend to be to joketoo much, to talk too much, and
you can come across as unseriousand unreliable a little bit,
right?
(35:19):
Not unreliable, but likeunserious, like too talkative,
right?
SPEAKER_02 (35:23):
Right, right.
SPEAKER_01 (35:23):
By the way, I am 98% convinced that you're an IS
combination because you are verykind and a little bit moderate
pace than a high I.
So I'm yeah, but yeah, so thethe pure I, by the way, nobody,
only about 1% of the populationis pure D, I, S, or C.
(35:44):
Most of us are a combination,like my dot is right on the edge
with the DI.
But most people's dot issomewhere in between, so we are
a combination of two styles,some of some people three
styles, even strangecombinations out there.
But yeah, so the I style, wehave to tone it down and listen
(36:04):
better and talk a little less,because otherwise, uh again, we
can be overbearing and comeacross and not serious.
The S style, they can comeacross as hesitant because they
are so kind and so soft.
And if you ask them to dosomething, they have to first
think about it.
But as the name says,steadiness, they like things
steady, so they really have tounderstand why something needs
(36:27):
to be so they come across ashesitant.
But you don't have to hesitateabout everything, so you can
relax, you can you know,sometimes just say it, yeah, of
course, or whatever, you know.
And then the C style they cancome across as nitpicky, as as
you know, too too focused on onminutiae, right?
So again, it's a strength pushto the extreme, so you can kind
(36:48):
of relax a little bit becausenot everything needs to be that
perfect, so they can beperfectionist, also.
The biggest the the singlebiggest uh source of conflict is
our expectations because weexpect everybody to behave like
(37:12):
we do and think like we do.
And when somebody is different,they're like, What?
No, that's not how it is.
Calm down, dude.
Yeah, yeah, just discuss it, youknow, don't need to lose.
SPEAKER_00 (37:27):
Yeah, and I was gonna I was actually gonna ask,
and you're actually answeringthe question.
I was gonna ask, for people whohave conflict, how do they
really, or for people who whosetheir styles clash, how can
leaders and employees actuallynavigate that and come together
to find a resolution?
SPEAKER_01 (37:50):
So when I understand that a snail cannot jump over a
fence like a gazelle, if I'm thegazelle, I will appreciate the
snail for what the snail can do,right?
Maybe that was a bad comparison.
But but when you understand thedifferences, then you understand
(38:14):
why the other person is doingwhat is doing instead of getting
frustrated with it.
That's why that's whyorganizations do disk training
not just once, but they do asix-month or one-year, and they
repeat it every year.
They repeat it each and everyyear, and we approach it from
different angles.
(38:34):
So we have disc workplace, thisdisk management, disc
leadership, EQ, emotionalintelligence, and if you have
sales thing, we have sales uhalso, but we also have conflict
uh management, dealing withdifficult people.
I do workplace bullying as well.
Uh co-authored a book on that aswell.
But uh but yeah, it is theexpectations that is the mother
(38:58):
of all misunderstanding.
You cannot expect the S tobehave like a D, like the D's
would expect that, and S wouldexpect the D to, you know, just
smile and be kind.
No, just understand that that'show they are wired.
That's how they're wired normal.
And this is how they are so eachof them, it's when you
understand that it's normal,then that pressure goes down,
(39:21):
the expectation disappears.
SPEAKER_00 (39:23):
So let me ask you this.
As we end the episode, what isone practical way listeners can
apply this in their ownworkplace right away, even if
they haven't received anytraining?
SPEAKER_01 (39:39):
When you go to work tomorrow, or if you're listening
to this at work, as you meetyour co-workers, observe.
Are they more moderate-paced?
Are they more fast-paced?
Are they more task-oriented?
Are they more people-oriented?
Dale Carnegie said it a hundredyears ago.
I could be wrong, I don't knowwhen he was around.
(40:00):
To mirror people's behaviors.
If somebody smiles when theytalk to you, please smile.
Because those of us who arepeople-oriented, we feel a
little bit pressure when youtalk to us, like especially the
D style, like throwing outwords, right?
(40:21):
So mirror the pace and thefacial expression.
You don't have to like when theyraise their hands, you raise
your hand.
So don't don't need to go.
But just as far as pace andfacial expressions go.
And yeah, for us, the I and andS styles, it's a little
difficult not to smile and betoo kind.
(40:41):
But when you spoke speak to theC and D style, it is better if
you just, you know, hey, justadapt their facial expressions.
So yeah, you you learn a littleself-control, as you said, a
little emotional intelligence,self-awareness.
And if you want to have goodrelationships at work, if you're
a salesperson, if you want tosell more, then you adapt, you
(41:04):
flex.
Same at home.
SPEAKER_00 (41:06):
It's all about adaptability, right?
It's all about it and you know,and you know what?
It's it is actually about notbeing self-centered, right?
And when you have thatself-awareness, it helps you to
really uh become flexible andand and and and being able to
(41:27):
understand people even a littlebit better, right?
SPEAKER_01 (41:30):
So what blows my mind is that most people know
that their communication skillsis excellent, but everybody else
doesn't know how to communicateproperly.
SPEAKER_00 (41:41):
Right, right.
SPEAKER_01 (41:42):
Then hold on, what?
So, no.
When you understand thesedifferences, then then you lower
your expectations, then you willbe fine.
SPEAKER_00 (41:51):
You will do well.
Yeah, yeah.
Well, Sebastian, thank you somuch.
Um, this has been a really greatconversation.
I hope we can continue thisconversation, but I want to ask
for people that are listening,how can they uh take an
assessment to figure out uhwhere they are on the scale, as
well as um how can peopleconnect to you and your work or
(42:15):
even book you for a consultationuh maybe to get you at their
workplace?
SPEAKER_01 (42:21):
Uh you can send me an email to Eg at
egsebastian.com.
You can also look me up atcommunication skillsmagic.com.
That's the my book,Communication Skills Magic.
Uh also at EG Sebastian.com.
I would love to connect with allof you listening on LinkedIn.
That's just LinkedIn slash IN EGSebastian.
(42:44):
Easy to find me.
Um, and also, I don't know ifyou will have it in the show
notes.
Uh, I will give a copy, a PDFcopy of my book to everybody who
wishes.
You can also get it fromcommunicationskillsmagic.com.
SPEAKER_00 (43:00):
Awesome, awesome.
Well, you guys make sure youlook in the link description so
you can get this resource today.
I hope today's episode gave yousome fresh insights into why
people act the way they do atwork and how this can actually
help us bridge thosedifferences.
Remember, it's not about puttingpeople in a box, it's about
(43:23):
understanding yourself andothers so you can work better
together.
Think about your team.
Can you spot the D's, the I's,the S's, and even the C's?
And where do you see yourself?
Once you start paying attention,you'll realize you'll be amazed
(43:43):
at how much easier it is toconnect, to communicate, and as
well as to collaborate.
E.G.
Sebastian, thank you so muchagain for sharing your wisdom,
your knowledge, practical tipswith us today.
And to you listening, if youfound value in today's episode,
share this with a colleague or afriend or someone who can use a
(44:04):
little more harmony at work.
It's Prince Tate, and until nexttime, keep navigating your
career with clarity and withconfidence.
Thank you.
SPEAKER_01 (44:14):
Thank you.
Why can't people get along at work?
It's a question every person hasasked at some point in their
careers.
Today I'm sitting down withsomeone who has the answers.
E.G.
Sebastian is a strategiccommunication consultant, a
certified disc facilitator, andthe author of Communication
Skills Magic.
(00:20):
He's inspired over 500 audiencesworldwide, helping leaders and
teams communicate better, worktogether, and actually get
results that they need.
In today's episode, we'rebreaking down disc DISC.
What is it, why it matters, andhow it can actually transform
(00:42):
the way we connect at work.
See you then.
Welcome back to the TransparentNature Podcast, where we bring
real conversations to help younavigate your careers and
(01:02):
workplace challenges.
It's your host, Prince Tate, andI want to personally thank you
for listening to the podcast.
Also, I want to give someone ashout out if you are listening
to the podcast.
What I want you to do is go tomy YouTube channel, the
Transparent HR Podcast, andleave a comment.
(01:24):
And at the next episode, I willmention you.
So if you want to get a shoutout on the podcast, this is your
opportunity.
And also, while you're on there,don't forget to hit that
subscribe button, share thisepisode with a friend who could
benefit from us and leave us areview.
Your support continues to helpus to bring real insights that
(01:48):
help you succeed in your careeras well as within your
workplace.
I'm super excited for today'sepisode.
You heard the intro.
We have a very dynamic speakerwith us.
Not just a speaker, but he's aguest and have become my buddy
on LinkedIn.
(02:08):
His name is E.G.
Sebastian.
Welcome to the show.
How are you today?
Pretty good.
SPEAKER_01 (02:13):
Thank you for the invitation.
Longtime fan.
Love your podcast.
If this is your first time here,make sure to listen to the other
episodes also.
Really great, great stuff.
SPEAKER_00 (02:25):
I appreciate you, man.
I really do.
And um, believe it or not, a lotof people don't realize that
most of my guests, I find themon LinkedIn.
Like we just connect, they havea story to share, they have
something valuable to share, andbam, they're on my podcast.
(02:45):
So thank you for connecting withme.
Hey, but let's get into theepisode.
But before we do that, let melet me slow down a little bit.
Where are you from?
SPEAKER_01 (02:58):
Yes.
People sometimes can't hear whatI'm saying because they're
wondering about the accent.
I'm Hungarian.
And then the other questionpeople ask is, what do I call
you?
IG.
Especially international peoplefeel uncomfortable calling me I.
(03:20):
My real name is Irvin, but Ican't pronounce it.
So people call me Herbie,Kermit, Eric.
So 20 years ago, I simplifiedit.
Nobody misunderstands it.
And it's easy when you look forE.G.
Sebastian, I was the only onefor almost 20 years.
Now there are two of us.
SPEAKER_00 (03:39):
Awesome, awesome.
So let's get into the episode.
Man, I want to start off withthis question.
Why do you think it can be sohard for people to get along at
work?
What makes it so challengingthat certain individuals, I
mean, they just don't click.
They they it it seems like everytime they have a conversation,
(04:02):
they're clashing.
Tell us the answer to thismysterious problem.
SPEAKER_01 (04:10):
That's an excellent question.
And just just imagine going towork and not having difficult
people around you.
Just imagine getting along,collaborating, and achieving
goals together.
What happens is unfortunately iswe have different personality
styles or communication slashbehavioral styles.
(04:33):
And when you're not available,when you're not aware of those
differences, conflict isguaranteed.
You just won't understand whyinstantly some of your
coworkers, and unfortunately,some of your family members, and
this can be your child or spouseor parent, you just constantly
butt heads because you don'tunderstand.
(04:55):
In my workshops, I often startwith saying, like, how many of
you believe it's great to livein a diverse world where
everybody behaves, thinksdifferently?
All hands go up.
And then how many of you wouldlike to live in a world where
everybody behaves the same way,things the same way, no hand
goes up?
Then I put my hands on my hipsand I say, You guys, you're a
bunch of hypocrites.
(05:16):
Because on one hand, you say youwant diversity, diverse
behaviors, diverse thinking.
Right.
But then when somebody thinksdifferently, behaves
differently, you think they aredifficult jackass or half
labels, right?
So when you learn about thesedifferences, about 70 to 80
percent, perhaps for some peoplemore, of your stress and
(05:40):
difficult people just disappearin the workplace.
So it's it's an amazing uh uhmodel, and that absolutely
changed my life, made me abetter parent, a better husband,
and um and also a bettermanager.
SPEAKER_00 (05:55):
Man, I love how you ask them that question because I
was actually driving in my car.
I always have random thoughts,right?
Uh whether I'm leaving work,going to work, or going
anywhere.
And I was thinking, you know,diversity, right?
Uh we talk about, oh, we wantdiversity, right?
But then people don't realizethat when you have diversified
(06:20):
teams and organizations, youhave a lot of people who think
differently, who actdifferently.
And in turn, it does make itmore challenging to get work
done because you have to spend alonger time, I would like to
say, in some cases, debatingwith people, right?
(06:44):
Why we should do this, why weshouldn't do this, you know, uh,
you know, how do we cultivate uhyour mindset with the other
person's uh views and thoughts,and how do we merge them
together and come to a solidfoundation or a common ground?
And when you're talking aboutgetting along with people, one
(07:06):
of the things you said is youhave to be self-aware.
You you have mentionedself-awareness, right?
And so I think a lot of times,you know, in answering this
question, why do why why is itso hard for people to get along
at work?
It's because we're different.
And the sooner you realize we'redifferent and that's okay,
(07:28):
that's when you be good, andthat's actually where uh
emotional intelligence comesinto play.
Right?
And so I think in terms of whatwe're about to discuss today,
you know, disc, emotionalintelligence, they have a lot to
do with each other, right?
SPEAKER_01 (07:47):
Let me just give you a bit of great news right now.
That by the end of this episode,you will realize that the people
that annoy you most are actuallythe people you will need most in
your life because they havestrength that complement yours.
And because they are sodifferent, that's why there's
this setup for tension anddifficult conversations between
(08:11):
the two of you.
But actually, when you realizethat you are complementing each
other, you will be moreaccepting and you will embrace
and and appreciate that person.
So it it has transformativepowers.
That's why 70 uh around 77% ofFortune 500 companies invest in
disk training each and everyyear for the past few decades.
SPEAKER_00 (08:32):
Wow, wow, man, you said a lot there.
But you know, I I think aboutthat statement of opposites
attract, right?
SPEAKER_01 (08:41):
And when they get together, they attack.
SPEAKER_00 (08:47):
But um That's the story of me and my wife.
Yeah, and and a lot of people,right?
But anywho, uh let's dive intodisk.
What is disc uh from yourexpertise?
Uh, what is it, and how does itactually help individuals and
teams in the workplace?
SPEAKER_01 (09:08):
So we are social beings.
As humans, our happiness, oursuccess depends on our
relationships.
Full stop.
That's that's the main thing.
Your communication skills, yourpeople skills determine your
success at work and in yourpersonal life, everywhere.
Yet most of us never invest inuh developing these skills.
(09:33):
So this is a simple tool, Iwould say is the simplest tool
on the market that helps youlike in the Matrix.
Those of you who watch TheMatrix, when Neo starts seeing
everything in code and theagents are shooting at him, he
doesn't even have to dodgebullets anymore because he sees
(09:53):
the code, he can just modify thecode and he can just grab the
bullet and just throw it away.
So same disk does that in yourrelationship world.
Instead of seeing difficultpeople, a nitpicky and an anal
person or a verbose and why isshe always so hyper?
So like all of these differentpeople that you see now as
(10:16):
difficult, once you go through adisk training, you see them as
different.
People are not weird, they'rejust differently wired.
And when you see that, then youappreciate each of these for
their strength.
Stress goes down, relationshipsimprove.
It's like four distinctlanguages.
I mean, imagine you go to Franceand you try to speak to
(10:38):
everybody in English.
Some will understand you, manywill not.
Same in relationships.
If I try to talk, before I knewmy wife's style, we had conflict
all the time.
Luckily, I went through this 21years ago.
Transformed our marriage.
Wow.
So it's it's a very powerfultool.
SPEAKER_00 (11:00):
So it's not just it's not just used in the
workplace.
SPEAKER_01 (11:04):
Absolutely not.
I started up as a relationshipcoach, but it's very hard to get
coaching clients.
So I sold my soul and starteddoing corporate training, and I
felt really bad.
And then I when I did my firsttraining, I realized, oh my God,
how silly I am.
(11:24):
These are people, they will takethese concepts home.
And I do most mostly full-dayworkshops, so I share personal
stories as well.
So all of those concepts that Ishare go home with them, and
they will be better spouses,better parents, better in all
their relationships.
SPEAKER_00 (11:42):
Just better individuals, right?
Absolutely.
Better human beings.
So so I I have this question.
So why disc?
There's a lot of person otherpersonality um assessment tools.
People mention Myers Brig.
Um, there's Clifton StrengthFinders, which may be a Anagram.
(12:02):
Yeah.
I mean, there's plenty of othercallers, animals.
Right.
There's plenty of other whydisc?
Why does disc work so well?
SPEAKER_01 (12:13):
And this is why you're a great podcast host
because you ask great questions.
I'm an assessment addict.
Assessments.
I took all of the assessments onthe planet that I that I came
across, anagram, Myers, Briggs,all of them.
And I found value in each ofthem.
(12:33):
Great value.
Disk with a lowercase I and theR after it is the most
validated, most research andvalidated model.
All of the other ones have greatvalue, also.
But DISC is one of the few thathelps you easily recognize the
(12:57):
four different styles, not justyourself.
Most of the other ones, theyhelp you understand yourself and
how to improve yourself.
Disk, yes, it helps youunderstand yourself, which is
very liberating.
On my feedback forms, it comesup all the time.
I have thousands of feedbackforums where people say, thank
(13:17):
you for helping me understandmyself, that I'm not broken,
that I'm not mentallychallenged.
All kinds of people wrote allkinds of things, but thank you
for helping me understand me.
But that's just a small part.
The biggest part of this ishelping you understand the other
three styles and connect better,communicate better, and as a
manager, motive motivate themmore effectively, understand
(13:40):
their fears, their strengths,their weaknesses, so you know
where to put people.
SPEAKER_00 (13:44):
Yeah.
Wow.
That's amazing.
It just doesn't help youunderstand you and your
personality, but it helps you toreally connect with the other
styles.
SPEAKER_01 (13:56):
It's the key to your relationships.
It's cracking the code to humanconnection.
SPEAKER_00 (14:01):
Wow.
That is really dynamic rightthere.
Say that again.
SPEAKER_01 (14:07):
It is the key to your relationships or cracking
the code to human connection.
SPEAKER_00 (14:13):
Wow, that is so deep.
That is so deep.
But you know what?
Let's dive even deeper.
So, what are the four differentstyles?
The D, the I, the S, and ofcourse the C.
What are they?
And what are some commonstrengths and challenges of
(14:34):
each?
SPEAKER_01 (14:35):
Before I tell you about the four styles, first
I'll give you the key.
Okay.
So you easily recognize the fourstyles.
Even if you don't know anythingabout them, you can easily
recognize them.
And then we will give you a linkwhere you can get the cheat
sheets on the tendencies of eachstyle.
(14:58):
I have I have 15 of these.
Oh wow.
And then this one is the generaltendencies of each, like their
main focus, what are driven bythey can come across as under
pressure, how they behave,everything about them.
So very simple.
And this is the power of this,the simplicity of it.
(15:22):
There are only two criteria thatyou have to remember.
SPEAKER_02 (15:25):
Okay.
SPEAKER_01 (15:26):
People are either fast-paced or moderate-paced.
Easily observable.
When you meet somebody and youtalk to them, some people talk
really fast, and some peopletalk really slowly, and maybe
they smile.
But they have and they they andthe fast-paced people, so here
is what you asked in thebeginning about the conflict and
(15:48):
the uneasiness.
Like I'm a very fast-pacedperson.
And when I talk to somebodywho's like name, date of birth,
address, and and anything thatthey ask, they they ask look in
a really slow, and my chest likefeels constricted, like, what's
(16:10):
wrong with you?
Chop, chop.
Okay.
Fast paced, moderate pace, too.
Okay.
So based on this knowledgealready, you will know that
fast-paced people, they takequicker decisions.
They are decision makers rightaway.
Moderate-paced people, they willthink before they decide.
(16:31):
They will research a little bit.
They will perhaps discuss itwith others.
The fast-paced, they are moreimpulsive, they're more
outspoken.
The moderate-paced, they aremore thoughtful, more reserved.
They think before they speak.
Like for me, that was like, wow,who thinks before they speak?
It turns out that there are twopersonality styles.
(16:52):
Interesting.
They do.
They think before they speak.
So just this alone,understanding the pace of
people, so these are tendenciesthat we gravitate towards.
The fast-paced people can bevery outspoken, but many of us
we learn to tone it down.
(17:13):
And I will say it now and I willsay it again later.
Hopefully, I will remember tosay it later.
That all our weaknessesperceived by others are a result
of our strength pushed to theextremes.
So the fast-paced, they areoutspoken, right?
But that can offend others.
Also, we can over like we cantalk over others, right?
(17:39):
Bulldoze over others.
So we have to tone it down andlet the moderate-pace people
also speak up.
The moderate-pace people comeacross as hesitant because they
think before they speak.
Wow.
So when you don't understandthese differences, then but
yeah, so these are naturaltendencies.
But again, all of the tendenciesthat I will speak about, you can
(18:01):
flex.
We call it flex.
SPEAKER_00 (18:03):
Okay.
SPEAKER_01 (18:03):
Like when you talk to your child, for example, even
though I'm fast-paced, when Italk to my seal my
moderate-paced child, I willslow down a little bit.
Because I know that if I'mtalking so fast, he feels a
little bit rushed and maybe eventhreatened.
And in the workplace, too, it'svery important, you know, like
(18:24):
the way you are you areperceived based on these.
So the fast-paced people can beperceived sometimes as
insensitive and rushing.
Like, why are you rushing?
Why why what's you know?
I need to the moderate-basedpeople, they need to understand
first um why they should dosomething.
So they are they are more um sothe fast-based they they love
(18:47):
change.
The moderate pace, they lovesteadiness, they love routine.
Fast-based people dislikeroutine.
So already this lets you readlots of things about people,
general tendencies again.
Then on the other axis, so wehave a an X.
We have an X.
We have the vertical axis andthe horizontal axis.
On the horizontal axis, we havepeople focused versus task
(19:10):
focused.
And you will recognize usuallypeople from people focused or
test focused because the peoplefocused, they smile.
As soon as you approach them,they smile.
I stand in line in a store, andsomebody just turns around and
right away we connecting, andand we tend to connect with
(19:32):
people who are more like us, ofcourse.
Right.
Yeah, let's say my wife getsthere a little later and I'm in
a big discussion with this guy,and my wife is like, Oh, you you
it's your friend?
Like, I'm like, no, we just met.
But you know, somebody watchingfrom outside, they think we've
known each other forever.
Now, this is not for everystyle, this is for the I will
get to the influence style, themore people-oriented and
(19:54):
fast-based.
We are very open, very friendly.
But yeah, so people-orientedpeople, they are more emotional,
they they are more friendly,they tend to uh be more
accepting, and um so justgenerally they are more more uh
open.
And and the task-orientedpeople, on the other hand, they
(20:18):
are more cautious, they are moreuh they love processes, they
love to w work on tasks,numbers, concepts, uh clear
goals.
The people-oriented people, theyare more collaborative, they
love to work with people.
The task-oriented people, theydo well on their own.
(20:39):
They often prefer working ontheir own, or if in a team, then
work on some specifictask-oriented um uh tasks.
But that's why when you knowthis, you won't put in customer
service the task-orientedpeople, and again, we can flex.
SPEAKER_00 (20:58):
Right, right.
SPEAKER_01 (21:00):
And and you won't have the people-oriented people
work on details like Excelsheets and and all kinds of uh
tasks that require great detail,great attention, and analytical
thinking.
So so when you understand thesetwo X's, that's already when you
(21:21):
um see some really clearbehavioral tendencies.
SPEAKER_02 (21:25):
Right.
SPEAKER_01 (21:26):
When you recognize somebody, so here we go into the
four styles, when you recognizethat somebody is fast-paced and
task-oriented, then you knowthat that's a dominance style.
They can be, they they love totake charge, they are uh they
are outspoken, they are blunt,they come across as blunt
(21:48):
because their goal is to getthings done so they don't spend
too much time on chit chat,right?
They actually they dislike that.
Uh and again, when when youlearn about this, you learn how
to approach them, how to talk tothem.
I recently visited Coca-Cola, uhuh a Coca-Cola bottling plant,
and each door they had a plaquethat said, I'm a dominant style.
(22:12):
When you come in, stick to thebottom line, don't waste my time
with chit chat.
So it gives for every style onthe door, it says how to talk.
You know, like the S style, whenyou come in, please smile, slow
down a little, a little, and soit gives all these, so uh it
it's uh yeah, it's powerful whenit's applied on the job in in
multiple ways.
SPEAKER_00 (22:31):
Yeah, so let me ask you this um because I I want our
listeners to kind of picturethemselves into which category
they're in, right?
So just just really briefly, asyou uh dive into them, what what
what are the four styles?
SPEAKER_01 (22:50):
So the four style, yeah, the dominance, influence,
steadiness, andconscientiousness.
Okay.
And the beauty of attending alive event is we break up
people, fast-paced people cometo this side of the room,
moderate-paced on that side.
And then I will ask specificquestions like how many of you
(23:11):
like routine work?
Well, the the moderate-pacedhands will go up, the fast-paced
hands will not go up.
So they there's a visual to seehow different we are, um, yet
how predictably different weare, right?
So, but yeah, so as as you haveto identify am I more
(23:32):
moderate-paced as I talk, as Imove, as I bring decisions, or
am I fast-paced?
Am I more impulsive, bring quickdecisions, more outspoken?
And are you more people-orientedor task-oriented?
So if you are people-oriented,uh people-oriented and
fast-paced, then you're aninfluence style.
Very personable, great verbalskills.
(23:55):
They are the only style who canpersuade you to something that
even they don't believe in.
So have to be careful.
Again, strengths pushed to theextreme can become your
weakness.
They when when it's a if it's asky high eye or influence, so we
are all on a spectrum.
SPEAKER_00 (24:16):
Right, right.
SPEAKER_01 (24:17):
Actually, so this imagine this is a circle, and
the more outside of the circleyour dot is, your style, the
more you display thesebehaviors.
The closer to the center yourdot is, when you take an
assessment, you will get a dot.
unknown (24:31):
Right.
SPEAKER_01 (24:32):
The more you can relate to the other styles.
Like my dot is right here, I D.
A little higher I, a littlelower D.
But yeah, so the I style theycan abuse their verbal skills
and they can wing it and theycan occasionally make up stuff.
Um, so we have to be careful totone it down.
SPEAKER_02 (24:52):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (24:53):
But they are very friendly, they are great in
customer service, sales, anyway.
So they they're str each andevery style has strength.
Neither is better than theother.
And then if you are moremoderate-paced and
people-oriented, then you're asteadiness style.
(25:15):
You're a steadiness style.
Steadiness style people are thenicest people on the planet, the
kindest, more supportive, mostloyal.
You walk up to them and you say,Janine, can you please help me
with yes?
Another coworker comes by, ohJanine, can you please come over
(25:35):
and see if of course.
They say yes to everything,yeah, and then they get
overwhelmed after a while.
So in my book, I spend a wholechapter on how to say no.
Because it's crucial for boththe I.
So these two, they get alongbecause both are fast-paced,
(25:56):
both are outspoken.
D and I.
They all have yeah, the D and I.
Because they they have things incommon.
The I and the S, they havethings in common.
So they are both very umsupportive and and and
emotion-based, verypeople-oriented.
So you have to understand all ofthese commonalities, and then
(26:19):
the opposing will be the onewhere the conflict will be, but
we'll get that in a second.
SPEAKER_02 (26:23):
Oh, yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (26:23):
So the S style, you have to understand that they
tend to help everybody.
So, so be mindful of that anddon't overwhelm them with with
too many requests, and expressyour appreciation for them.
Because they they are the mostloyal when they get a job, often
they stay in the job for 20, 30years.
(26:45):
Right.
The also, they are naturally thebest listeners.
The D and the I, they are theworst listeners.
We're great at just spewing outwords, but we suck at listening.
So when you understand this,then you learn to slow down and
listen.
The S is the best listener.
And then if you aremoderate-paced and
(27:07):
task-oriented, then you areconscientiousness style.
Conscientiousness style styleindividuals are analytical,
detail-oriented, and they reallylove to work with concepts,
numbers.
Now, often because they are sodetail-oriented and more
(27:31):
task-oriented, they can comeacross as a little cold, right?
And these are just generaltendencies.
I actually have met many C-stylepeople, and this is America.
So in America, you are taught tosmile, smile.
Yet many C-style people willnot.
And uh I and the S, whensomebody talks to you like
(27:52):
straight and just ask you verypointed questions, especially if
they ask you like theseanalytical questions, like you
don't even understand thequestion.
Like, what is the quotient ofthe whatever?
And then they expect you to, youknow, you get like a little
pressure in there and scared.
(28:13):
But I met many sea styles whoare very um personable and and
they smile.
I have a friend who I meetregularly, she's a sky high C.
Yeah, she's so kind andpersonable, and she said it's a
learned skill.
Actually, she's also thistrainer, it turns out.
(28:33):
Uh not not certified, but shedid she put on this training in
the past.
She said because she learnedabout this, she learned to get
out of that shell and be moresmiling and more personable and
listen to people's stories andlaugh when somebody makes a
joke.
Because C styles, sometimes theywill not laugh at your jokes.
They're like, I'm wasting mytime.
(28:54):
So, yeah, because the adjacentstyles they have lots of things
in common, they get along.
But the opposing styles, justthink about it, if somebody is
fast-paced and task-oriented,and if somebody is
moderate-paced andpeople-oriented, they have zero
things in common.
SPEAKER_00 (29:14):
So the DNA, they they typically have conflict.
SPEAKER_01 (29:22):
Especially if your dot on your assessment is close
to the edge, it's really hardfor those people to work
together if they don'tunderstand these concepts.
When they understand theseconcepts, then they know that
the dominant style can takequick decisions and do things
that the S style cannot.
(29:43):
And the dominant style knowsthat the S style can do things
that they are not good at.
At caring, at being empathetic,doing better customer service,
uh, doing routine work.
The dominant style hates routinework.
So So and then the I and uh theI and the C, again it's an
(30:05):
instant setup because the C isvery analytical, very detail
oriented, uh the I style is verypeople oriented, emotion
focused, nothing in common.
So again, it's an instant setupfor for tension and conflict.
But when you understand these,like I'm a sky high, a little
bit lower D.
(30:25):
I need the C people in my life.
And before I knew this, I wastrying to avoid them.
So when I hired my first team,it was a team of I DI kind of
guys, talking fast, bright eyes,and after a while nothing was
getting done, and everythinglooked like a mess.
(30:46):
So actually, I got so upset thatI fired everybody one day.
Oh wow.
Um, so when you don't understandthese things, uh things can get
better.
So naturally, we tend togravitate towards people, people
like us.
So if you don't understand thesedifferences as a hiring manager,
you tend to hire people justlike you.
(31:06):
That's another thing that it canhappen with race and religion
that you we tend to gravitate tohiring those two.
But we're talking aboutbehavioral style styles, and and
that's dangerous because I go tointo organizations and when we
do the assessments, I also printout the group culture, uh group
report, culture report, yeah.
(31:29):
And I see in some organizations,most people are like D, or most
people are C, and then theywonder why their customer
service sucks.
You know, there's no balance.
So you need to now, if you are ascience-based organization, yes,
most people should be C.
(31:49):
Unless you have salespeople, youhave uh people facing customers,
then yeah, those should be S S Icombination.
But yeah, so these are the thefour main styles.
And when you understand this,then uh again in my cheat
sheets, I have how to motivateeach, what are their strengths,
what are their weaknesses, uh,what are their fears, all kinds
(32:12):
of how to deal with them inconflict, how to avoid conflict,
uh, all kinds of uh great data.
SPEAKER_00 (32:19):
Wow.
Man, that was a lot that youlaid on us.
And and I hope that ourlisteners were able to kind of
picture it in their head asthey're listening.
Um, if you're on YouTube, youcan see uh the the the actual
video.
But if you're just listening tothe podcast, I I hope that you
can kind of picture yourself.
(32:39):
Am I a D?
Am I an I?
Am I an S or a C?
And I'm gonna tell you this,man, I'm I'm an I.
I took this assessment a fewyears ago, and I'll be
interested to see, you know, ifI take it again, what where it
will put me.
Would it put me higher I or, youknow, but nevertheless, um, you
(33:02):
know, just being aware, numberone, of where you are, which one
your style is, it's reallyimportant.
It's all about self-awarenessand it's all about understanding
you first so that you can thenunderstand how other people
behave and how other peoplereact, uh, how they communicate.
(33:25):
Um, you know, and and and whatit does is it really builds
people, bring them together,right?
So talk about a uh team buildingexercise, right?
This is, I believe, theultimate, especially when you do
the training, right?
This is the ultimate teambuilding exercise, at least in
(33:47):
my eyes.
If you really, really wantpeople to come together to learn
each other and build the team,disc assessments is where it's
at.
SPEAKER_01 (33:58):
And and in the training, yeah.
So first I break them up basedon pace and and focus, people
versus task, and thenfast-paced, uh, task-oriented on
one side, fast-based people.
So I break them up in fourgroups, right?
There are these sticky charts onthe wall and they put up their
strength.
SPEAKER_00 (34:16):
Okay.
SPEAKER_01 (34:17):
And then they switch, they go around and they
put dots to what they perceiveas weaknesses.
So what you think are yourstrength, you will be shocked to
see that some of the otherpersonal or behavioral styles
they perceive as weaknesses, andthey're like, what?
(34:38):
But that's what you need tounderstand that as a dominant
style, for example, you can beperceived as blunt and like a
bulldozer, you know, you youbulldoze over people.
So you need to tone it down alittle bit and be a little bit
more mindful on how you talk topeople because you can come
across as inconsiderate becauseyou're so focused on results.
That's their main focus.
(34:59):
And this that's great because inemergencies you don't want them
to hesitate.
They anything when it happens,any emergency, the D-style right
away will take charge and theywill make things happen.
The I style tend to be to joketoo much, to talk too much, and
you can come across as unseriousand unreliable a little bit,
right?
(35:19):
Not unreliable, but likeunserious, like too talkative,
right?
SPEAKER_02 (35:23):
Right, right.
SPEAKER_01 (35:23):
By the way, I am 98% convinced that you're an IS
combination because you are verykind and a little bit moderate
pace than a high I.
So I'm yeah, but yeah, so thethe pure I, by the way, nobody,
only about 1% of the populationis pure D, I, S, or C.
(35:44):
Most of us are a combination,like my dot is right on the edge
with the DI.
But most people's dot issomewhere in between, so we are
a combination of two styles,some of some people three
styles, even strangecombinations out there.
But yeah, so the I style, wehave to tone it down and listen
(36:04):
better and talk a little less,because otherwise, uh again, we
can be overbearing and comeacross and not serious.
The S style, they can comeacross as hesitant because they
are so kind and so soft.
And if you ask them to dosomething, they have to first
think about it.
But as the name says,steadiness, they like things
steady, so they really have tounderstand why something needs
(36:27):
to be so they come across ashesitant.
But you don't have to hesitateabout everything, so you can
relax, you can you know,sometimes just say it, yeah, of
course, or whatever, you know.
And then the C style they cancome across as nitpicky, as as
you know, too too focused on onminutiae, right?
So again, it's a strength pushto the extreme, so you can kind
(36:48):
of relax a little bit becausenot everything needs to be that
perfect, so they can beperfectionist, also.
The biggest the the singlebiggest uh source of conflict is
our expectations because weexpect everybody to behave like
(37:12):
we do and think like we do.
And when somebody is different,they're like, What?
No, that's not how it is.
Calm down, dude.
Yeah, yeah, just discuss it, youknow, don't need to lose.
SPEAKER_00 (37:27):
Yeah, and I was gonna I was actually gonna ask,
and you're actually answeringthe question.
I was gonna ask, for people whohave conflict, how do they
really, or for people who whosetheir styles clash, how can
leaders and employees actuallynavigate that and come together
to find a resolution?
SPEAKER_01 (37:50):
So when I understand that a snail cannot jump over a
fence like a gazelle, if I'm thegazelle, I will appreciate the
snail for what the snail can do,right?
Maybe that was a bad comparison.
But but when you understand thedifferences, then you understand
(38:14):
why the other person is doingwhat is doing instead of getting
frustrated with it.
That's why that's whyorganizations do disk training
not just once, but they do asix-month or one-year, and they
repeat it every year.
They repeat it each and everyyear, and we approach it from
different angles.
(38:34):
So we have disc workplace, thisdisk management, disc
leadership, EQ, emotionalintelligence, and if you have
sales thing, we have sales uhalso, but we also have conflict
uh management, dealing withdifficult people.
I do workplace bullying as well.
Uh co-authored a book on that aswell.
But uh but yeah, it is theexpectations that is the mother
(38:58):
of all misunderstanding.
You cannot expect the S tobehave like a D, like the D's
would expect that, and S wouldexpect the D to, you know, just
smile and be kind.
No, just understand that that'show they are wired.
That's how they're wired normal.
And this is how they are so eachof them, it's when you
understand that it's normal,then that pressure goes down,
(39:21):
the expectation disappears.
SPEAKER_00 (39:23):
So let me ask you this.
As we end the episode, what isone practical way listeners can
apply this in their ownworkplace right away, even if
they haven't received anytraining?
SPEAKER_01 (39:39):
When you go to work tomorrow, or if you're listening
to this at work, as you meetyour co-workers, observe.
Are they more moderate-paced?
Are they more fast-paced?
Are they more task-oriented?
Are they more people-oriented?
Dale Carnegie said it a hundredyears ago.
I could be wrong, I don't knowwhen he was around.
(40:00):
To mirror people's behaviors.
If somebody smiles when theytalk to you, please smile.
Because those of us who arepeople-oriented, we feel a
little bit pressure when youtalk to us, like especially the
D style, like throwing outwords, right?
(40:21):
So mirror the pace and thefacial expression.
You don't have to like when theyraise their hands, you raise
your hand.
So don't don't need to go.
But just as far as pace andfacial expressions go.
And yeah, for us, the I and andS styles, it's a little
difficult not to smile and betoo kind.
(40:41):
But when you spoke speak to theC and D style, it is better if
you just, you know, hey, justadapt their facial expressions.
So yeah, you you learn a littleself-control, as you said, a
little emotional intelligence,self-awareness.
And if you want to have goodrelationships at work, if you're
a salesperson, if you want tosell more, then you adapt, you
(41:04):
flex.
Same at home.
SPEAKER_00 (41:06):
It's all about adaptability, right?
It's all about it and you know,and you know what?
It's it is actually about notbeing self-centered, right?
And when you have thatself-awareness, it helps you to
really uh become flexible andand and and and being able to
(41:27):
understand people even a littlebit better, right?
SPEAKER_01 (41:30):
So what blows my mind is that most people know
that their communication skillsis excellent, but everybody else
doesn't know how to communicateproperly.
SPEAKER_00 (41:41):
Right, right.
SPEAKER_01 (41:42):
Then hold on, what?
So, no.
When you understand thesedifferences, then then you lower
your expectations, then you willbe fine.
SPEAKER_00 (41:51):
You will do well.
Yeah, yeah.
Well, Sebastian, thank you somuch.
Um, this has been a really greatconversation.
I hope we can continue thisconversation, but I want to ask
for people that are listening,how can they uh take an
assessment to figure out uhwhere they are on the scale, as
well as um how can peopleconnect to you and your work or
(42:15):
even book you for a consultationuh maybe to get you at their
workplace?
SPEAKER_01 (42:21):
Uh you can send me an email to Eg at
egsebastian.com.
You can also look me up atcommunication skillsmagic.com.
That's the my book,Communication Skills Magic.
Uh also at EG Sebastian.com.
I would love to connect with allof you listening on LinkedIn.
That's just LinkedIn slash IN EGSebastian.
(42:44):
Easy to find me.
Um, and also, I don't know ifyou will have it in the show
notes.
Uh, I will give a copy, a PDFcopy of my book to everybody who
wishes.
You can also get it fromcommunicationskillsmagic.com.
SPEAKER_00 (43:00):
Awesome, awesome.
Well, you guys make sure youlook in the link description so
you can get this resource today.
I hope today's episode gave yousome fresh insights into why
people act the way they do atwork and how this can actually
help us bridge thosedifferences.
Remember, it's not about puttingpeople in a box, it's about
(43:23):
understanding yourself andothers so you can work better
together.
Think about your team.
Can you spot the D's, the I's,the S's, and even the C's?
And where do you see yourself?
Once you start paying attention,you'll realize you'll be amazed
(43:43):
at how much easier it is toconnect, to communicate, and as
well as to collaborate.
E.G.
Sebastian, thank you so muchagain for sharing your wisdom,
your knowledge, practical tipswith us today.
And to you listening, if youfound value in today's episode,
share this with a colleague or afriend or someone who can use a
(44:04):
little more harmony at work.
It's Prince Tate, and until nexttime, keep navigating your
career with clarity and withconfidence.
Thank you.
SPEAKER_01 (44:14):
Thank you.
Popular Podcasts
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
The Joe Rogan Experience
The official podcast of comedian Joe Rogan.