November 7, 2024 • 68 mins
Do you have any questions, any comments about the episode? Jimanekia would love to hear from you!
What happens when your home suddenly turns to ash and you're thrust into a whirlwind of uncertainty and self-discovery? Join us as we navigate the phenomenal journey of Jordiana Fabulous, a gender-expanding artist and guide whose life was upended by the sale of their New Orleans home. With symbols of personal rituals like a rooster's claw in hand, Jordiana embraced the chaos and magic of traveling through Mexico, Brazil, South Korea, Japan, and several African countries, revealing the transformative power of finding oneself amidst upheaval and instability.
As we share our own experiences of financial and housing challenges, compounded by the pandemic, we discuss the interplay between personal growth and professional milestones. Safety precautions and unique challenges faced by Black queer travelers during the pandemic are also front and center as we explore the intricacies of airports and border crossings. From understanding the African diaspora in places like Brazil and South Africa to the unexpected affinities discovered in Korea and Japan, these journeys provide a deep dive into cultural understanding and personal transformation.
Throughout, we examine the indispensable role of community amidst the turmoil of a global crisis. Whether it's the strength found in queer support networks or the necessity of mutual aid, these connections have been a lifeline. From reflecting on the insidious relationship between capitalism and community to exploring multiple sources of income, this episode is a heartfelt exploration of resilience, belonging, and the ongoing quest for home. Join us for a conversation that promises insights into the intersection of ancestry, mental health, and the evolving journey of self-discovery.
Thank you all for listening. Set a boundary with yourself this week, set a boundary with someone else. If someone else does not respect that boundary. LET THEM LOOSE YOU! Stay hydrated internally and externally. We do not have an ashy family.
IG: @The_Trauma_Within
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@thetraumawithin
Jimanekia Ig: @Jimanekia
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:14):
y'all.
If you have been followingtrauma queen, you have heard
this lovely human before y'all.
We've got geordiana ge.
Jordiana is a gender expanding,multi-dimensional artist,
facilitator and guide, weavinghealing energy into all of their
practices.
Informed by their individualself-healing practices, jordi
(00:34):
has been able to guide groupcare workshops, center around
meditation, ritual herbology anddecolonize, organizing for the
liberation of marginalizedgroups of people.
Jordi is also on the board ofTending the Garden, which is my
nonprofit.
Jordi is also just a magicalbeing that I have learned and
continue to learn so much fromJust such a gift of a being.
(00:57):
Y'all we've got Jordiana atJordiana Fabulous.
You heard the intro, you heardall the magical things and I
just am so appreciative of thishuman that, well, I don't know
if you want to be called a humantoday.
How dare I, how dare I of thisbeing so?
(01:20):
My first question here at theTrauma Within is always the same
, because I think daily thisanswer changes for people, and
so today I ask you who are you?
Speaker 2 (01:34):
Who am I Right now?
It's giving Geordie Poppins.
I'm out here riding on the eastwind, getting ready to fly out
on the west.
You know, changing lives,changing hearts and collecting
bags, you know, while bringingmy own.
So it's giving Geordie Poppinstoday.
Speaker 1 (01:57):
Okay, I love that.
I love that.
How did we meet?
We met through both beingmodels for radimo oh yeah, I
think we met on set I think,yeah, I think so for the first
time we met.
We met on a photo shoot look atus, just just girls out here
(02:20):
trying to get booked.
Okay, what a time.
Let's leave that in the past.
That was a time.
What does trauma mean to you?
Speaker 2 (02:34):
trauma.
Trauma to me means I think likethe, I think like the, like the
, it's not necessarily thephysicalization of it, it's not
(02:55):
necessarily the remnants of it.
These are all words that like,are close to the word that I'm
trying to find, but it's likethe, I think the evidence that
there has been harm or a woundor something that needs to be
(03:17):
healed from.
I think, like, trauma is theevidence to me.
Speaker 1 (03:23):
Something that like came to my mind when you were
like thinking of words, I waslike ash, like after the fire,
the remnants of it, ooh crazy.
Today we will be talking abouttrauma in many different ways,
but when I asked you what youwanted to talk about, of course
it made sense and I was like, ohyeah, that makes sense.
(03:44):
But we're talking about housinginsecurity and travel.
In the past two years, if thegirls don't know, you've been in
these streets and on theseflights.
Speaker 2 (03:54):
you've been to mexico , brazil, south korea, japan,
(04:17):
tanzania, ethiopia, madagascar,south africa and and Mozambique.
Why what?
I find it really, I guess, likemagically chaotic that the
initiation to these travels wasbecause of like housing
instability.
Like I was in New Orleans.
I was there, honey, I wasinsular, I was working from home
(04:44):
, like so thankful for that.
I was building my nest.
It was cute, okay, like I livedalone for the first time ever.
So I was learning a lot aboutmyself at the same time, like
processing a lot, healing a lot.
I had a backyard, I had astudio shed where I did my art,
(05:04):
my work, I was making a lot ofthings and I was good.
I said I'm going to be here forthree years and from there I'm
going to find a place to live.
I wanted to be on land withland, build homes there and
(05:27):
really just like kind of enteran age of like the land lording
over me.
I didn't want any morelandlords, I didn't want to live
in the city Like I wanted to bewith the land that was going to
like have me.
I wanted to be with the landthat was going to like have me.
(05:48):
And I said like I said tomyself, like this will be like
my last, my last landlordrenting situation and I was
about two years in, about oneand a half one, and you know,
three, four years into that ideafor myself, and that's when my
landlord was like I'm trying tosell the house and she was
(06:11):
selling the house and tried tosell it with me in it.
Really, when she first told meit was so interesting because I
had done a ceremony um, it waslike October 2021 that my, my
(06:35):
relative called me and was likeyour nephew was a husky, your
nephew mauled a chicken.
Like you wanna come do thismagic?
Like so there was this rooster,this rooster body that I went,
put a little cooler, brought tomy house and was processing the
(06:57):
um, scorpio, new moon.
I remember because at on thesame day, I was making rose clay
and making like beads, like arosary with like rose clay beads
.
So in the kitchen was metwisting the pot on these roses
that I had blended down, boileddown into this like dark earth
(07:22):
colored like clay that I wasgoing to roll the beads that
night.
And then on the porch I waswith this rooster and was like
cutting its claws.
I'm like, do I have anything?
I travel with it now Like Itravel with its claw in my like
(07:42):
magic pouch.
But I was like given dual magic.
It was like day and night kindof thing, like within the same
day.
And then it was the next dayafter that ceremony that I got
the email from her and was likeI no longer want, you know, this
house.
There was a couple of monthswhere I thought like I might be
(08:03):
able to buy it.
My parents were kind of like inthe process of maybe looking
for a house, like trying to seeif they could, you know, like
find someplace.
So I passed it on to them.
She wanted a large amount ofcash for it, like over a hundred
thousand dollars in like cash,and she was trying to make moves
(08:25):
.
She was trying to make moves,she was trying to make moves,
and it wasn't her only home too,she had done that in multiple
states and it the deal kind offell through, it didn't solidify
, and it was in, you know, likearound January time that she was
like all right, well, I goingto start with this process.
The realtor came over to myhouse in the late January kind
(08:49):
of early February, was walkingin the house with her shoes on,
looking at my altar that I had acandle burning for my
grandmother who just received astage four cancer diagnosis.
And I'm deep in my magic, deepin my ritual cancer diagnosis
and I'm deep in my magic, deepin my ritual.
And they just wanted to come inand take pictures and have open
(09:11):
houses and have people comeover whenever they want.
So they put the.
When it first went live, twopeople already came to the house
like unannounced, takingpictures, kind of looking around
.
Somebody knocked on the doorand was like are you selling
this house?
I was like I live here, I havenothing to do with that.
I told her this and thesolution for her was to give the
(09:35):
realtor keys, give the realtorkeys a copy of the keys to the
house so that she could come in.
But large yeah, yep, she couldcome in, but large yeah, yep,
she could come in whenever shewanted.
I was like I don't understand,like what the disconnect is like
I live here, I work from home,I'm always at the house, like I
don't, I and I and I.
(09:56):
All I was asking was I want atleast 24 hours to 48 hours
before you even, like, bringanybody here.
And that's something that theycouldn't promise because they
wanted it to sell, and veryquickly.
So after she asked like how Ifelt about like the realtor
having keys, I was like you knowwhat?
I have to go, I can't stay herefor this process.
(10:20):
She already raised the rent by$200 during this process,
knowing that you know like Iwould have to move, I would have
to find a new house.
She was going to get, you know,some like a lot of coin, more
than the maybe $ of my stuff instorage.
In about 10 days I moved out in10 days.
I didn't have time to look foranother apartment.
(10:43):
I put the lease without a monthin advance, without giving her
(11:09):
a month notice, and I moved in.
Speaker 1 (11:12):
She kicked you out at the drop of a dime.
Speaker 2 (11:14):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (11:16):
Yeah, can I ask you, because you and I have such good
conversations, we be dab funny.
But like, what did safety feellike in this?
Because I know, as you knowsomeone, that we are in
communication.
Like you were feeling, like youwere building roots and you
could create, and then havingthese invasive people come in,
(11:37):
like what did safety feel likeduring that time?
Speaker 2 (11:40):
I believe it was superhuman.
I believe it was like literallyme running on like prayer and
like spirits because I waslifting things by myself, my
grounding rituals that reallyaided me during that time
(12:08):
because it felt like spiritualwarfare.
And after, even after I left,it was revealed that it you know
, it really really was.
It really was.
Speaker 1 (12:19):
When you like the spirituality aspect.
I totally understand that part.
How did it show up in your body?
Speaker 2 (12:49):
Um, I was very tired, you know, like I, I, I felt
like I was spiraling, um, likemy body, like I really had to
like push my body to its limitsduring that time to like really
like move in that way, likebecause it was so fast, like
asking for help and, you know,trying to coordinate with other
people just like didn't happen.
I think maybe two people helpedme during that moment.
Like at the end, you know, soreally, it was like, I think,
(13:11):
within my body and myrelationship with my body, like
I really had to like like soothemyself and like affirm myself
and and like kind of like grabmyself and, like you know,
remind myself like you're here,like this is real, like it's
happening.
I know it's a lot like, I knowyou're tired, but like rest, so
(13:34):
like like taking showers wasreally important for me, like
still doing my kind of um, mydaily routine, um, there were
lots of things that I did likefor my body because I was like
I'm not taking this with me, solike salt scrubs or like masks,
like using my clay, like justdifferent things like that I was
(13:56):
purging and giving away.
Like I remember there was justlike moments where I was like
all of this.
There's all of these likeessential oils that I'm like not
taking with me.
I have all of this salt that Iwas like going to make for like,
um, like bath salts or likedifferent blends and stuff.
So I I remember just havinglike big bowls of salt and like
(14:17):
I was putting essential oils andherbs and like mixing them in
and, and because I just didn'tknow what I was going to do and
I really felt like I was movingaway from New Orleans.
I couldn't even process what mytrajectory was, but because I
just had to focus on me gettingout.
(14:38):
But I did feel like I wasleaving and that was hard for me
too, because my friends arethere, family there, the
neighbors that I had where I wasso close with.
So I was just scooping thissalt in these jars, like telling
my neighbors what's happening,what's going on, like giving
them salt, my my practice oflike really giving gifts to and
(14:58):
like finding blessings in it,that really did, like um, give
me strength during that momentBecause, also, like the biggest,
(15:18):
the biggest thing that washappening was also me leaving
this house.
The house had, you know, had aspirit and like I was with this
spirit for like so long and itheld so much space for me, and I
really do believe that in a lotof ways, the house also was
like all right, baby, like thisis a nest and stuff, but you're,
you're about to do some wildshit, like you're about to go
(15:42):
around the world and like shit,you're about to go around the
world and do all of this magic.
It's time I had my passport onmy altar before all of this even
happened.
I was praying for travel.
I was really focused on theritual of travel and the places
that I was going, and I think itwas just like time for me to
(16:04):
leave the nest, for sure.
Speaker 1 (16:06):
Did you finish the rosary?
I did, okay, I just needed, Ijust needed the update.
I was like, did we finish therosary?
Cause I really thought abouthow rosary is made.
I was like.
I was like, ooh, that is a time.
Okay, let's get onto theseplanes.
Yeah, how?
(16:28):
Because I would talk to you andbe like, where are you?
And I'd be like, oh, let's talkabout the one.
How did you get to the firstplace?
Speaker 2 (16:38):
And then financing yeah, I went to Mexico.
First.
It was a decision that camefrom, like, yeah, me already
having a rough couple years,even though I was in this
(16:59):
beautiful house space.
The years were rough, from 2020, landing in New Orleans, a the
the years, you know, were rough.
Like from 2020, like, landingin New Orleans, a place like
being pushed out of Los Angelesbecause of, like, um lack of
affordable housing.
Um, based on the money that Iwas bringing in and the, the
change in my career and thechange in my finances, um,
(17:23):
because of the pandemic, like I,I, I had to leave.
So already I was mourning that,licking my wounds from that in
New Orleans and processing youknow other things that happened
during that year, during thosetwo years, and I was like you
know what, like, with this beingthe like, the final kind of
(17:45):
like thing happening, like mehaving to leave this house and
do all that, like, I'm going tocelebrate myself.
I'm going to go.
My birthday was right around thecorner.
I moved out in 10 days,starting from like mid February.
It was the shortest month and Istill got out before the end of
the month.
I had one month in New Orleansin March and I was able to visit
(18:08):
family land of mine that wasstolen from us in Arkansas, and
that's kind of where thespiritual warfare aspect was
coming in, because I was kind offace-to-face with housing
instability, land instabilitythrough my family, like
generationally.
So I was just like I I'm goingto go back to my parents' house.
(18:29):
They changed the room that Iwas like living in when I was
like the last two years that Iwas in Los Angeles I was staying
with them and was in that room,but they changed it.
So they made a space for me inthe basement.
I got my bags and what wasn'tin storage and took it to their
(18:50):
house and was in the basementand was like, yeah, I'm going to
go, I'm going to go to Mexico.
A friend of mine had wanted togo, so we were like, let's go,
it's just time's up for us to goto Oaxaca.
So we went to Oaxaca and I wasin the Yucatan, we were at these
beautiful houses, had somebeautiful food and then I was in
(19:12):
like Mexico city.
So I think I was there inMexico for like about three,
three to four weeks and what Iguess what funded that like part
of my trip, was me coming backto LA.
I came back to LA in April andlike almost immediately booked a
(19:34):
guest spot on All Rise.
It's like a judge drama, I think, on Fox, but has changed now,
like the third season, I thinkaired on either, I think, own
network and they had some kindof deal with HBO Max, so I think
you can stream it on HBO Max.
(19:55):
But, yeah, I booked a littleguest spot there and, you know,
got some coin right when Ilanded in Los Angeles, which was
, you know, like a big blessing,um, and was able to to go there
with ease, knowing that Iwouldn't be working for that
(20:15):
amount of time, like three tofour weeks, yeah that also comes
to mind as someone that nowtravels like once a month.
Speaker 1 (20:28):
Airports fucking suck , so how did you navigate all of
these airports and all of thesepeople?
As someone that also might hearthis and be like, oh shit, I am
also being pushed out, I'm alsobeing called to travel, I'm
being called to listen to myancestors, but have no fucking
idea how to do it.
Speaker 2 (20:49):
Yeah, I mean, I was really thinking about it, and
thinking about it quite recentlytoo, because I was like, oh,
that is, that is something likedifferent, different.
I started flying I think, Ithink, my first flight.
My mom has a picture of it andposted it like on my birthday
(21:10):
this past year and I think I waslike I think she said I was
like maybe five when we firstflew and like went to Disneyland
, but I started flying by myselfwhen I was like six or seven
years old and I would yeah, Iwas like an unaccompanied minor.
My mom would go with me to thegate and, you know, drop me off,
and the flight attendant wouldtake me and we'd walk down and
(21:34):
I'd have a seat right in thefront and, like I would, you
know, just be sitting there.
I had a little necklace aroundmy you know, saying that I was
an unaccompanied minor.
Necklace around my you know,saying that I was an accompanied
minor, unaccompanied minor.
The flight attendant wouldcheck on me.
I'd be like, hey, I'm good, youknow, because I was going to my
grandparents' house.
I would go there every summerand every like Thanksgiving and
(21:59):
Christmas, and I did that formaybe like seven years.
So there was for all of, from,you know, from seven to 14, like
I was taking flights like bymyself, like back and forth
between San Jose and Los Angeles, so it was an hour flight, it
was a cute little time, but Ithink, like the acclimation to
(22:22):
like, I guess, flight navigating, flight navigating like the,
the energies of flight, wassomething that I had to do at
like a very young age.
So I think that definitely likehelps.
And then on top of that, like Ihave, I have my, my armor.
I think it's a different kind ofball game flying during, you
(22:45):
know, a pandemic, you know where, like a lot of people, at least
in the States you know, aren'treally focused on just
counteractive measures likefiltration system and masks.
That I did see a lot more of inplaces like South Korea, in
places like Japan.
It was like woven into theinfrastructure, where I'm
(23:07):
looking at these huge likebox-like structures and they
have, like on a screen showingyou like the amount of CO2, like
they're filtering the air inplaces like the mall and places,
like you know, like conventioncenters.
(23:27):
So it would just make sensethat these places would be, I
mean, these things would be inplaces like hospitals or
airplanes which are airplanes,but also like airports which
they're not.
So I, I just you know, I I takemy COVID, my COVID precautions.
(23:49):
I wear my mask on the plane.
I've worn my mask on, you know,like 13 hour flights.
Speaker 1 (23:58):
I don't mask everywhere now, but a plane,
they, they cough raw for me.
They just be coughing out loudand I, I it's a wet.
Speaker 2 (24:07):
It's a wet chest cough, it's a wet lung, and you
just like release and I'm justlike I'm like I really I've been
you, you know, of course, moresensitive to it, but you know
something about that kind oflike portal of travel, that
travel portal.
People just show up becausethey just, you know, they gotta
(24:29):
get, they gotta get from likethis place to that place and
I've just, I've just heard somereally gnarly coughs, to the
point where I'm just like damn,damn damn.
Speaker 1 (24:44):
I think that I would be remiss if I didn't ask this
direct question and which willcome up continuously for me in
this conversation is safety?
So, as a Black queer person,right, because there's different
levels of this what is it liketraveling to all these places in
different countries where wearen't always loved and all the
(25:04):
we barely liked here liked okay.
So what is that like?
What has it been.
Can we talk about it and sharewhat you want?
Speaker 2 (25:14):
Yeah, no, I mean, it's been, it's been a whirlwind
because you know I've been to alot of places.
I think the first thing to youknow that comes to mind about,
about this around.
This is like the, the air, theairports you know around.
(25:35):
This is like the airports.
You know they have systems evenof like, picking like gender on
the scan.
And if they choose, like, ifthey assume that you are a
gender or have certain and it'sreally genital based, because,
yeah, it's like a button thatthey choose, and if I, because
of how I present and especiallywhen I mask and when I'm
(25:55):
speaking, a lot of people willassume I'm a cis woman.
So the person pressing thebutton on the scan has multiple
times pressed woman and then mygenitals flag the machine.
So they're like what do you got?
What do you got?
What do you got Like, what areyou smuggling?
And I'm just like You're glad toknow There've been you know
(26:22):
many times where like that hashappened and like the woman or
the person who checks, like whatis assumed as woman in the
person who checks, like the whatis assumed as woman in in the
TSA, will come over to me andusually when they're like closer
or something, or like maybeseeing I have less mass around
(26:42):
my chest or something, they'lllike kind of clock me and be
like oh, like we need to run youthrough the machine again and
just press another button, orthere we need to run you through
the machine again and justpress another button, or there
there usually will be like a manthat steps in and then just
like gropes me pretty much,which is like extremely invasive
and I think that's, you know,the first thing about safety.
(27:03):
That's like really, you know,coming up around like the
airport is just like kind ofbeing at the whim of of I guess
it's, you know, it's the state,really, you know, and like these
(27:26):
extensions of the state andlike realizing how violent,
thank you, how violent the stateis, even just in how they treat
people going to or from, andall of those moments of like
maybe feeling around my chestand or like my genital area has
been in this in the States, inthe state, like different state
(27:49):
airports, I think, in LosAngeles and, um New Orleans, um
Texas.
So when I've been like traveling, like out of the country and
coming back in, one thing thathas helped is getting on global
entry.
Um, in a lot of ways you have togive up a lot of information
(28:09):
for this.
Like I understand that as aprivilege as well, like being
able to provide the governmentwith vast amounts of information
to basically like flag me assomebody who's not a potential
risk because of how muchinformation I volunteer and
because of that I've been ableto, you know, skip a certain
(28:31):
level of like invasiveness atimmigration, specifically when
entering back into the States.
So where there's like this longline and usually in that line
people are looking at me,staring at me, kind of, there
might be people who likeinteract with me or ask me about
things, and then I get to thefront desk and maybe they're
(28:52):
asking me about things and Ihave to be on my feet for a long
period of time.
Like that I've been able tocircumvent by applying for
global entry, which has its ownlevel of in invasiveness because
I have to pull down my mask andthey have to scan my face and
(29:14):
all of this.
But I can easily just walkthrough and it's been less
daunting to even just arriveback into the States when I'm
already processing coming backto a colony that, at least even
during my travels, I have had adeep desire to move away from
(29:36):
and to live outside of.
Speaker 1 (29:41):
We'll get to the big question in a moment, but what
is your mental health like thesedays, as have been doing this
outside in these streets?
You are back in the States forright now, but we also know
you're staying.
Speaker 2 (29:56):
But what's mental?
Speaker 1 (29:57):
health, like for you these days.
Speaker 2 (30:00):
My mental health is really volatile, chaotic.
I definitely want to talk aboutfinances, because that has a
lot to do with my mental healthand the volatility of finances
has been pretty intense duringthis process, which is so wild.
But I will say, like I startedseeing a therapist, I had a
(30:28):
therapist, maybe like the firsttherapist outside of, like what
my introduction to therapy was,which was through the church.
I would consider it conversiontherapy.
People are praying, you know,for you know my sexuality to be
different.
So that was what my entrance tobehavioral therapy was at, like
(30:51):
16 years old.
I can't recall it being morethan even just like five
sessions, just because I was notreally responsive to it and I
did have an aversion to therapy,which is why it took so long
for me to like like see atherapist for the first time
(31:14):
after that experience.
But I did and she was, she waslovely and like 2018, 2019, I
was able to, I think, into 2020,I think we had like a few
sessions, like during thepandemic, virtually, and we just
it just wasn't really like.
She was the first person, shewas very sweet, she was very
(31:36):
attentive, but I didn't reallyfeel a lot of like growth and
like challenging and new ideasand like new, like tools coming
to me through our relationship.
So I, I I stopped meeting her.
I, you know, had you know,rough and tumble couple of years
(32:00):
through 2020, 2021, 2022.
And that was when I I foundanother therapist, so I was
seeing her virtually, which wasa big blessing, and over the
course of, I think, one year, wewere able to meet and I got a
(32:25):
lot of vocabulary about what Iwas feeling, things that
happened in my past that Ihadn't named in that way that I
felt, and that I was aware ofbut hadn't named in order to be
able to communicate to the depththat I was able to communicate,
like after she shared, like hervocabulary with me and was just
(32:48):
like present with me.
So I was really thankful,vocabulary with me and was just
like present with me.
So I was really thankful.
We stopped meeting in um at theend of last year.
So it'll be almost about a yearUm once October hits, it'll be
almost about a year of me notseeing anyone.
And I do I do feel I do feellike I'm mourning a little bit
(33:15):
of a great therapist that I had.
I really enjoyed our sessions,I really enjoyed checking in in
that way.
So I know that that's a bigthing on my list, it really is.
That's a big thing on my list,it really is.
(33:36):
And at the same time, like, yeah, I, I have to rely on my, my
routine, which, because of mylifestyle, because of the
travels, is constantly changing.
Even things that I would haveaccess to, like food, like what
I'm eating, like aren't, arealways in flux, are always
different.
Even just the, even just myskincare routine.
(33:57):
I'm like, oh, like, when I'm inlike desert, more hot, more
like hot dry, I can use this,this kind of routine.
And when I'm in like humid,this and that, like I'm not, it
not, it's completely different.
I use different products, I dodifferent things, I'm able to
move differently or dodifferently.
So with my routine that'sconstantly changing, like I
(34:20):
really feel, like I'm stretchingthe muscle of like any time,
like I'm moved off center, likeI feel like I can navigate very
quickly off center, like I feellike I can navigate very quickly
.
But that's why I said like mymental health kind of feels kind
of chaotic and like volatileright now and I feel like I'm
like I mean I'm doing a greatjob, I feel healthy to the point
(34:45):
where I can, you know,recognize things that are
activating me and I canrecognize things that I want to
heal, whether I can see ways outof the thing.
I know that there are tools thathave worked for me thus far and
whenever I'm at my wit's end,to rely on those tools to
(35:07):
journal, to meditate, to put myintentions out loud, to speak
out loud, to pray, to drinkwater, to stretch my body, to
dance.
So there are things that I know, like boo, you haven't done
that in a while and I knowyou're going through it Like you
(35:27):
gotta, you gotta, you know, dosome of that, do some of that,
like right now, do some, andthat really does help me in
those moments.
But at the, at the, at the endof the day, it really does, it
really does like come down to myaccess to resources.
That is that is really, likeyou know, impacting, like these
(35:52):
movements as well.
I would love a house, I wouldlove to be more stabilized than
I am, but I haven't found thatyet and a big part also of my
travelings is to find a placethat could hold me.
Speaker 1 (36:10):
Where do you think the closest place has been?
Is to find a place that couldhold me, you know.
Speaker 2 (36:13):
Where do you think the closest place has been?
Right now it's between Braziland Japan.
So I think when I was in Brazil, a lot of things like awakened
for me and unlocked for me.
I think I was in like probablythe largest like African,
(36:35):
african descended, likepopulated, like space that I had
ever been.
It's like more than 50%, morethan 50% of the entire country.
But I was in the state of Bahiaand I was in Salvador, which I
believe is like 80% Africandescended people live there.
So I was present there feedingmy ancestors for the first time
(37:00):
after having moved from NewOrleans.
There I was able to put a plateon my altar there.
I was able to learn Portugueseand learn from an Afro-Brazilian
teacher.
I was able to really connectwith people there.
I volunteered at a clinic, likea healing clinic that my friend
(37:26):
who lives there also has aconnection with, who lives there
also like has a connection with.
They were like you can come by,like practice Reiki and like
massage therapy.
People really need it, likeit's people from the you know
like, from the city.
So I went, I rode, went thereand was able to, you know like,
be with all of these like Black,black femmes, like
(37:49):
Afro-Brazilieros Like.
I was there like and they wereseeing me and I was thankful I
wish I could visit again, likehaving learned Portuguese, cause
I was there for six months andthis was within like the first
three weeks that I was likerolling up my sleeves like hey,
like does anybody want ReikiLike or a massage.
(38:12):
So I think like being able toreturn and have like deeper
conversations would reallyimpact me because even across
like us not really speaking eachother's language proficiently
in that way Like we were talkingwith our hearts and like our
bodies too, like I was able toreally like learn from the
(38:35):
people through my experiencesthere and through that like
really really change and receivelike a feeling of kinship that
I had never felt like beforeoutside of the States.
I had only traveled to CostaRica, spain and Canada since
(39:00):
then, and then Mexico.
So like going there and peoplejust automatically speaking in
Portuguese to me because I lookBrazilian, they're just like
you're Brazilian, like you,you're Brazilian.
Let's talk like this.
And for somebody, I think somepeople were like oh, you look
familiar, you look like my child, have we?
(39:23):
And I'm like I'm not from here.
So it was on my heart to evenbe there.
Prior to me moving to NewOrleans, I had a vision about me
going to New Orleans, going toBrazil and going to South Africa
, in kind of this trine.
That was like revealing itself,these like alternate universes
(39:48):
where, if my ancestors wereforced on a different ship, like
I would have had lives in theseplaces and in these ways.
And I think that, really, thatreally like activated something
within me my relationship withwater, my relationship with
ancestry, having witnessed landthat you know, like a part of my
(40:11):
lineage is indigenous to beingstolen from us in Arkansas and
my relationship with the States,like really, really, in being
invited to expand during a timewhere I had no home to have to
navigate around, returning to orpaying rent to.
(40:32):
I was just able to venture inthat way and dive deep to the
point where I was so thankful tobe able to stay for that amount
of time.
The violence of, like,imperialism, you know, and
global, global, global racism,global, global dominance that
(40:56):
the state extends.
It's, it's so interesting, it'sinsidious, to be able to talk
to people, really talk to them,and see how their travels impact
, are impacted just by, you know, having a passport from a
different, a different colonywhen we are, you know, like I
(41:18):
said, the same people or orcousin or kinfolk just stolen to
different parts of the earth.
So I think it was veryimportant for me to um like feel
, um the activation of theAfrican diaspora through being
in Brazil in that way, umstranger, as a foreigner, in
(41:42):
ways that just like, I think,showed me that I can be
(42:12):
comfortable in those settings aswell.
I had just traveled in Korea,like two months prior, so I flew
from Busan to Osaka and I wasable to like really heal there,
learn Japanese there from like aprivate tutor and just like
(42:34):
learn about culture through myteachers, and that was just
really lovely to to experienceas well.
I think, like I I just havelike a natural affinity to like
the foods that they're eating Alot of fermented foods.
(42:56):
I've been trying to heal my gutand center probiotics in my
dietary like daily eating habits, eating rituals, like to be
able to just like have access tothat is really important.
And then there's a lot ofancestor worship present there
(43:28):
really does like just centermore accessibility for people
who need a little bit differentin the structure of things.
It was in Korea and Japan thatI saw like bars in front of the
urinal, to like hold somebody up, like that was something that I
(43:51):
had never seen before.
I'd seen Braille on like cansof alcohol, so that people can
differentiate, like if they're,you know, going to get twisted.
You know, like I think thatthese things on top of like just
seeing like the neighborhoodthat I was in in Osaka, Not only
(44:14):
was it like the highestpopulation of like Korean,
Japanese people, like it waslike the Koreatown in Osaka that
I was staying in, but it alsohad the highest amount of
elderly people.
So I really was in the space inOsaka to like see how elderly
people could be treated, to seeyou know what an infrastructure
(44:37):
that supports aging looks like,which is something that is a
little bit harder to see in theStates.
Speaker 1 (44:46):
Sure, absolutely it is.
Speaker 2 (44:48):
Yeah, between that and also just like masking
culture and like a culture of,you know, protection of airborne
, airborne viruses, kind ofbeing passed Like a lot, a lot
of.
I saw like billboards withpeople wearing masks and it was
(45:10):
just like very natural, like inpublic spaces inside, to just
like wear masks in that waywhere other places weren't,
weren't, weren't giving that,and I was kind of navigating
through a lot of anxiety aboutthat, especially because all
(45:30):
throughout the pandemic so farI've been able to find jobs that
I can work remotely, so Ihaven't had to compromise how I
was protecting myself justbecause I wasn't forced to
engage in working with thepublic, which I know a lot of
(45:53):
people have and a lot of queerpeople specifically.
So I feel very blessed in thatand at the same time like it's
been hard, honey, it's been hard.
Speaker 1 (46:04):
Something that I know is really important to you and
if you have been listening youhave heard it weaves in and out
of this as community.
Speaker 2 (46:15):
Can you tell folks how important it is to find
actual community, Not justpeople that have been like, yeah
, blah, blah, blah, but likeit's a lot of fucking work and I
think, like what the pandemichas showed me, like what you
(46:37):
know, like having to isolate andlike see how people are
navigating, see how people areresponding to genocide on
multiple levels, see how peopleare responding to like recession
and people in need, racialinjustice, state sanctioned
(47:04):
violence in this particularportal, like in like from 2020,
I have definitely like.
My community has shrunk sincethen and in a lot of ways, my
sense of community orunderstanding of community was
(47:25):
deeply woven within capitalism.
Because I was working in thepublic sector honey, I still am
in some ways but I had to getout of my house to get paid.
I had to be on set, I had to bein the mix, I was going to
clubs, I was working at the door, I was bartending, finding odd
jobs, I was performing.
I grew up in Hollywood.
(47:45):
I was going to auditions,meeting people.
A part of socializing andbuilding community was instilled
in me.
To enhance and increase yourability to be able to get paid
and get a job and survive withincapitalism, you had to be a
(48:05):
busy bee and talk to the rightpeople and say the right things
and wear the right things andmove in the way that really did.
Yeah, it made me extremely goodat socializing because it was
(48:26):
deeply intertwined with mysurvival.
It was deeply intertwined withmy survival.
It was deeply intertwined withmy survival and I did, I did
find, in the change through thepandemic and me you know, seeing
how people were showing up forme or vice versa that it was, it
was.
It was so insidious that it waslike that and I do believe it's
(48:50):
it.
It it's like that in a lot ofways, and there have been people
that I've fought fallen, andit's not even just like, it's
not even bad blood, you know,it's not even like.
You know like damn, like we,you really showed your your ass.
And now I see, you, I see, andwe're not friends and we're not
(49:11):
in community, we're not talking,it's just.
It's just it been informed by adeep sense of urgency to be
well and to survive.
I I was.
I was deeply isolative the firstthree months of 2020, starting
(49:32):
in March Like I didn't leave thehouse, we got things delivered,
I wasn't forced to work and Iwas going through a breakup.
So I was like very, veryinsular and when I was sitting
in front of my computer, I waslike I need to, like I need to
(49:53):
find another place to live.
I can't live here.
I can't do this like this, likeI gotta go.
I was making lists of theplaces that I knew people and
like and where I wanted to to be.
Oh, I gotta charge my computerreally quick, one second, all
(50:20):
right.
So I was sitting in front of mycomputer and I was trying to
figure out where I was going tolive and I was making lists of
where I knew people and I madelike I said Los Angeles, new
York.
I knew some people who had justmoved to New Mexico I'm going
to put New Mexico there, newOrleans and Chicago.
(50:42):
I got family, I got some peoplethat I know up there and I
started looking for houses inall of those areas.
And it was New Orleans becauseliterally my friend, my family,
my relative was like oh, you'rethinking about coming to New
Orleans.
I got a room you can come andland, you can come and stay for
as long as you need while youlook for a house.
(51:03):
Point blank period, come home.
And I did continue looking inother places, but I was able to
move to New Orleans and I wasable to find a house like a
month in.
So I was like I do want to finda house, like after a month,
(51:23):
and I said that and I did, and Iwas so thankful because it was
really close to where myrelatives lived and I was able
to like link up and ourinteractions were informed by
the pandemic as well as, liketheir disability, like it was
hard for them to leave the houseand there wasn't like any
(51:45):
infrastructure for them to, likeyou know, be outside even or go
to the park.
So we got close because of thatand I saw a lot of the
inaccessibility of like thingsthat other parts of my community
like were kind of built in likenightlife performance life, um,
(52:08):
like um set set set life likeit just really showed me like
how deeply, deeply problematicthese structures are, to the
point where, like anycommunities built on it like are
are having a rough time and andthey are like people that I am
(52:29):
connected to, people that I was,like you know, going to parties
with performing with, likechilling with, like people are
going through it Like stillright now, not being able to pay
their rent, having to move,people getting evicted like
people, people not having likesupport and not having people to
(52:55):
show up at hospitals to seethem, to take care of them,
feeling like they're gonna, youknow, like die alone and people
don't know what happened to them.
Like there's, like there'sthere's, I feel like we had an
opportunity to slow down andreally build community more than
(53:15):
we've ever had.
And I do feel like, out of allof the demographics that I've
seen, like building strongcommunities, like it is queer,
people-resourced and it's it'svery hard having to navigate
your own survival or having yoursurvival tied up in, you know,
(53:42):
accommodating the state by bybeing outside of your house, by
working at night, by, you know,being in the lights, or by, at
night, by you know, being in thelights, or by you know being
that Yas queen and like notbeing able to to really heal
yourself.
You know not being able toreally just like retreat and
hold up and really like check inand be like you know, like this
(54:07):
is what's happening.
That's why you know, when Italk to you and talk about
tending the garden, like I'mlike this is like it's really
real to me, like I really, Ireally, it's really deeply on my
heart that people have evenjust a weekend, a week, to like
(54:32):
show something for it, you know,or provide like a product at
the end of the day for it, orlike promote it, or like make it
a job or make it a reality TVshow.
Like it is life to be able tocommune and build like
(54:57):
one-on-one and really strengthenindividual connections, and
it's through that that I've beenable to like really understand
what community is.
So I took the long way aroundbut I think that by my community
getting smaller and me beingable to show up for the handful
(55:19):
of people that I'm able toreally build with, over time,
I've seen the fruit that muchdeeper to where, like you know,
I'm like I don't even know whereI'm going to live or how or
where I'm going to go, andpeople are like oh yeah, come to
(55:41):
my house, you can stay as longas you want.
Oh yeah, we got a room for you.
Like you can come here.
You know, like, come here, youcan live here, rent free, you
know, or pay what you can, kindof thing.
And that I do believe that youknow would have happened maybe
like prior to that, but itwasn't.
(56:01):
And it really does stand out tome like now in my time, of just
like having a different needand moving differently, that the
people that I've been like,connected and grown with, like
are the people that are showingup for me and vice versa, in
like, really, in really, reallyhard times, you know.
Speaker 1 (56:27):
I think that's so real.
That's when it like people arealways around us People are like
oh you know, or people be likeoh you know so-and-so.
No, I don't, we're all friends.
No, we're not.
We might.
You know, we're very particularabout language around here.
I'm like I don't know aboutthat.
What do you think wouldsurprise people the most about
(56:49):
you?
Speaker 2 (56:58):
What would surprise people the most about you?
What would surprise people themost?
Speaker 1 (57:00):
I'm chock full of surprises.
Speaker 2 (57:05):
I'm so curious.
I guess the first thing thatpopped into my mind which is, I
mean, is an interesting, maybeconversation is that maybe I'm
an introvert, like I am aprofessional extrovert.
I have had to survive throughextroversion.
My career and my financialopportunities are deeply tied to
(57:38):
like being seen and having likemy thoughts or my words, or
like just me, my life,accessible to people through
social media.
The worst like kind of likeperiod of my finances, my
financial life, started tohappen when I was off of
Instagram for one for one yearand I I didn't take that.
I didn't take that lightly.
So I think, like I, you know,I'm like hey, hi, like what's up
(58:05):
, how are you doing?
Or I get out and I'm like, hey,what's up?
Wow, is like such a, such amask, you know, such a mask for
like damn, like I wish we're onthis like music that's blaring,
(58:33):
which I'm thankful for because Ican at least like dance and
like release and mask that wayto just like move my body and
kind of like shake.
But I would much rather likeheal and like be soft.
Speaker 1 (58:50):
Okay, that's like oh my God.
And I'd be like, hey, thishappened to me yesterday.
I was like oh my God.
And I was like I was like whois it?
They were like it's you.
I said, oh, okay, what'shappening?
I was like, oh me, oh, oh, niceto meet you.
(59:28):
And I'm like, oh, we got tokeep talking.
I can't do this.
I came to just stand here inthe present.
I didn't actually.
You might find us on one ofthose days where our mask is off
and it doesn't mean we don'tcare about people.
We care about people so deeplythat I need time to heal from
people.
Speaker 2 (59:42):
Yeah, yes, I do.
Speaker 1 (59:46):
Because also the absorption of the status of the
world, not the state, not thecountry, the world, she's heavy.
Speaker 2 (59:55):
Oh yeah.
Speaker 1 (59:56):
She's heavy, she's pissed.
I'm tired.
All I can do, take a nap, okay.
Speaker 2 (01:00:05):
That's real.
Speaker 1 (01:00:06):
Yeah, yeah.
Well, before we, before we getyou some more coins and tell
people more about your business.
The last question of the showfor me is because inquisitive
that's the word we're usinginstead of nosy inquisitive what
is the wildest thing someonehas texted, emailed or DMJU in
the last two weeks?
Speaker 2 (01:00:28):
The wildest thing.
Speaker 1 (01:00:32):
No, your journey.
Speaker 2 (01:00:34):
Uh-huh, I I will say this only because it was giving
me a really big chuckle todayjust because, like I, I'm so
thankful for my ego and I like Idon't, I feel like it doesn't
(01:00:57):
impede me being able to likechange, and change quite
drastically.
I recently started to promotemy house cleaning services in
Los Angeles, recently started topromote my house cleaning
services in Los Angeles and,like I haven't cleaned people's
houses professionally but I haveI mean, even prior to the
(01:01:18):
pandemic, like I was doing morelike house cleansing, like I was
showing up at people's houses,like cleansing the space, like
going through, receivinginformation, like energetic
stuff, like intuitive healingthings.
So I do have like a backgroundof people inviting me to their
homes and I would do likeenergetic healings for them and
(01:01:38):
stuff.
But like I'm really getting onmy hands and knees and like
scrubbing some, like you know,getting people's shit, like
getting in the dirt and stuff,and I think it was like me, it
was me posting and like peoplejust being very responsive.
And like I have like I'mthankful, I'm blessed that I
(01:02:01):
have like three, three clientsthis week.
You know, going to like threedifferent houses.
You know like three differenthouses, you know, and I just
like it's been really a strugglefor me to try to like it's
literally like pulling teeth andnail to try to get people to
pay for like workshops that I'vedone and like to get a reading
(01:02:23):
for me or to buy an album buysome music for, like you know,
$5 for an album or like you know, $55 for reading, and you know,
just like these.
But buy a $25 book and I'm likeI'm charging $25 an hour to
like clean your house.
And people were like yay, likeyeah, come clean, I would love
(01:02:45):
that.
Somebody was like I'd love tofly you out, like here, so you
could clean my house.
Like, just like, fly you out,like here, so you could clean my
house.
Like, just like, kind of like a, it's like an interesting
response.
It's an interesting response tome and finding where the bag is
and finding where the coin isand what people are willing to
pay for, you know, and like mything and having to navigate,
(01:03:05):
like you know, life withincapitalism is to like fluid,
especially just because I don'thave a nine to five, I don't
have a salary job, I don't havejust one job.
I never was raised to thinkthat I even needed one job to do
what I was doing.
I was raised by a single momwho was a Gemini and she was
(01:03:29):
also an artist.
So I saw somebody hustling inLos Angeles to pay for not only
herself but for me.
So it's very familiar to me tohustle and to find where the
coin is, and I haven't been.
I think this will probablyprobably be like one of the
(01:03:53):
first like jobs where I have toleave like my house in order to
do for the past four years, likeI was able to do like a retreat
and like the set was also likea thing as well, but it was just
different.
It was more controlledenvironments, people were like
masking and testing more there.
(01:04:14):
So I feel like having to movethrough some anxiety of like
leaving my house to follow thisbag is just like, yeah, it's so
interesting, I don't know.
So I guess, like all of the DMsof people really excited for me
to clean their houses, likemaybe not knowing that I'm a
superstar even you know what Imean Like undercover superstar,
(01:04:39):
like making like internationalbops I just performed in Japan
like twice last year about toleave for Japan and like next
month and yeah, I'll clean yourtoilet, you know, I just think
like it's not.
It's not that I have anythingagainst like like cleaning or
house care work.
I've been doing that work forlike 10 years, but mainly
(01:05:01):
through the focus of childcare,and did clean, you know,
people's spaces and kitchens andspaces that the kids are in and
the kids like.
So this is I.
I've been about this work, um,but it's just interesting how,
how it's, it's and it's not.
(01:05:23):
I don't know if it's like theabsurdity of having to match the
volatility of my financesthrough the volatility of like
how I make money and like showup with my skills.
It's like okay, like if you'renot gonna pay me for this, like
you can pay me for that.
I could get this, this bag here.
So I'm, I'm thankful, I'mthankful, even though it's
(01:05:46):
really wild to me, um, like whatI'm, what I'm, what I'm doing
right now and what's like atleast popping off for me in
within the past like week of metrying to like summon coins for
months now is like multipleclients kind of popping off and
reaching out to me to like comeand clean their spaces.
(01:06:08):
So I'm tickled by it and I'multimately so thankful.
So I have like four more weekshere, so I'm hoping to get you
know in my little.
That's why I said how do I feelright now?
Who am I?
I'm Jordy Poppins, honey,coming in on the East wind,
finding where I fit in, where Ineed to be, and you know, I'll
(01:06:29):
get you right, I'll get youtogether.
Speaker 1 (01:06:31):
I love those friends, Everyone be welcomed.
So, before you go, where can he, she, they, them, ZZ, everybody
darling?
Where can they find out aboutyou?
Where can they send you money?
Where can they purchase fromyou?
Speaker 2 (01:06:56):
from you.
Yeah, right now I'm earth toGeordie everything.
E-a-r-t-h-t-o-j-o-r-d-i.
You can go to mycom, which ismy website.
You can earth to Geordie VenmoCash App.
You can donate that way.
I'm paypalme slash earth toGeordie If you feel you know, if
you international, you gotPayPal, but I do have a website
and I do have a store there, soI have a lot of virtual
offerings.
(01:07:17):
I provide readings, recordedreadings.
Some of my music is there.
You can find the links to likemy band camp on my website so
you can buy any of the albumsthat I released and music that I
released.
I just released a new EP inJune.
That is like popping.
(01:07:38):
I'm really thankful for thepeople who've been streaming it.
But, yeah, it's Earth toGeordie Everything.
And I have even like a book, alittle book of potions, that I
think within the past two monthsI um, I think I got it on
Amazon, starting in January.
So it's available on Amazon, um, for I believe, $20 right now.
(01:08:00):
It's called little book ofpotions, um, and you just can.
Uh, the link on my website willtake you to the Amazon link.
Speaker 1 (01:08:08):
Yes, well y'all.
I hope you received every oneof your blessings and didn't
miss any, because some of y'alljust be missing on this wild,
but until next time, y'all.
Speaker 2 (01:08:19):
Ciao.
y'all.
If you have been followingtrauma queen, you have heard
this lovely human before y'all.
We've got geordiana ge.
Jordiana is a gender expanding,multi-dimensional artist,
facilitator and guide, weavinghealing energy into all of their
practices.
Informed by their individualself-healing practices, jordi
(00:34):
has been able to guide groupcare workshops, center around
meditation, ritual herbology anddecolonize, organizing for the
liberation of marginalizedgroups of people.
Jordi is also on the board ofTending the Garden, which is my
nonprofit.
Jordi is also just a magicalbeing that I have learned and
continue to learn so much fromJust such a gift of a being.
(00:57):
Y'all we've got Jordiana atJordiana Fabulous.
You heard the intro, you heardall the magical things and I
just am so appreciative of thishuman that, well, I don't know
if you want to be called a humantoday.
How dare I, how dare I of thisbeing so?
(01:20):
My first question here at theTrauma Within is always the same
, because I think daily thisanswer changes for people, and
so today I ask you who are you?
Speaker 2 (01:34):
Who am I Right now?
It's giving Geordie Poppins.
I'm out here riding on the eastwind, getting ready to fly out
on the west.
You know, changing lives,changing hearts and collecting
bags, you know, while bringingmy own.
So it's giving Geordie Poppinstoday.
Speaker 1 (01:57):
Okay, I love that.
I love that.
How did we meet?
We met through both beingmodels for radimo oh yeah, I
think we met on set I think,yeah, I think so for the first
time we met.
We met on a photo shoot look atus, just just girls out here
(02:20):
trying to get booked.
Okay, what a time.
Let's leave that in the past.
That was a time.
What does trauma mean to you?
Speaker 2 (02:34):
trauma.
Trauma to me means I think likethe, I think like the, like the
, it's not necessarily thephysicalization of it, it's not
(02:55):
necessarily the remnants of it.
These are all words that like,are close to the word that I'm
trying to find, but it's likethe, I think the evidence that
there has been harm or a woundor something that needs to be
(03:17):
healed from.
I think, like, trauma is theevidence to me.
Speaker 1 (03:23):
Something that like came to my mind when you were
like thinking of words, I waslike ash, like after the fire,
the remnants of it, ooh crazy.
Today we will be talking abouttrauma in many different ways,
but when I asked you what youwanted to talk about, of course
it made sense and I was like, ohyeah, that makes sense.
(03:44):
But we're talking about housinginsecurity and travel.
In the past two years, if thegirls don't know, you've been in
these streets and on theseflights.
Speaker 2 (03:54):
you've been to mexico , brazil, south korea, japan,
(04:17):
tanzania, ethiopia, madagascar,south africa and and Mozambique.
Why what?
I find it really, I guess, likemagically chaotic that the
initiation to these travels wasbecause of like housing
instability.
Like I was in New Orleans.
I was there, honey, I wasinsular, I was working from home
(04:44):
, like so thankful for that.
I was building my nest.
It was cute, okay, like I livedalone for the first time ever.
So I was learning a lot aboutmyself at the same time, like
processing a lot, healing a lot.
I had a backyard, I had astudio shed where I did my art,
(05:04):
my work, I was making a lot ofthings and I was good.
I said I'm going to be here forthree years and from there I'm
going to find a place to live.
I wanted to be on land withland, build homes there and
(05:27):
really just like kind of enteran age of like the land lording
over me.
I didn't want any morelandlords, I didn't want to live
in the city Like I wanted to bewith the land that was going to
like have me.
I wanted to be with the landthat was going to like have me.
(05:48):
And I said like I said tomyself, like this will be like
my last, my last landlordrenting situation and I was
about two years in, about oneand a half one, and you know,
three, four years into that ideafor myself, and that's when my
landlord was like I'm trying tosell the house and she was
(06:11):
selling the house and tried tosell it with me in it.
Really, when she first told meit was so interesting because I
had done a ceremony um, it waslike October 2021 that my, my
(06:35):
relative called me and was likeyour nephew was a husky, your
nephew mauled a chicken.
Like you wanna come do thismagic?
Like so there was this rooster,this rooster body that I went,
put a little cooler, brought tomy house and was processing the
(06:57):
um, scorpio, new moon.
I remember because at on thesame day, I was making rose clay
and making like beads, like arosary with like rose clay beads
.
So in the kitchen was metwisting the pot on these roses
that I had blended down, boileddown into this like dark earth
(07:22):
colored like clay that I wasgoing to roll the beads that
night.
And then on the porch I waswith this rooster and was like
cutting its claws.
I'm like, do I have anything?
I travel with it now Like Itravel with its claw in my like
(07:42):
magic pouch.
But I was like given dual magic.
It was like day and night kindof thing, like within the same
day.
And then it was the next dayafter that ceremony that I got
the email from her and was likeI no longer want, you know, this
house.
There was a couple of monthswhere I thought like I might be
(08:03):
able to buy it.
My parents were kind of like inthe process of maybe looking
for a house, like trying to seeif they could, you know, like
find someplace.
So I passed it on to them.
She wanted a large amount ofcash for it, like over a hundred
thousand dollars in like cash,and she was trying to make moves
(08:25):
.
She was trying to make moves,she was trying to make moves,
and it wasn't her only home too,she had done that in multiple
states and it the deal kind offell through, it didn't solidify
, and it was in, you know, likearound January time that she was
like all right, well, I goingto start with this process.
The realtor came over to myhouse in the late January kind
(08:49):
of early February, was walkingin the house with her shoes on,
looking at my altar that I had acandle burning for my
grandmother who just received astage four cancer diagnosis.
And I'm deep in my magic, deepin my ritual cancer diagnosis
and I'm deep in my magic, deepin my ritual.
And they just wanted to come inand take pictures and have open
(09:11):
houses and have people comeover whenever they want.
So they put the.
When it first went live, twopeople already came to the house
like unannounced, takingpictures, kind of looking around
.
Somebody knocked on the doorand was like are you selling
this house?
I was like I live here, I havenothing to do with that.
I told her this and thesolution for her was to give the
(09:35):
realtor keys, give the realtorkeys a copy of the keys to the
house so that she could come in.
But large yeah, yep, she couldcome in, but large yeah, yep,
she could come in whenever shewanted.
I was like I don't understand,like what the disconnect is like
I live here, I work from home,I'm always at the house, like I
don't, I and I and I.
(09:56):
All I was asking was I want atleast 24 hours to 48 hours
before you even, like, bringanybody here.
And that's something that theycouldn't promise because they
wanted it to sell, and veryquickly.
So after she asked like how Ifelt about like the realtor
having keys, I was like you knowwhat?
I have to go, I can't stay herefor this process.
(10:20):
She already raised the rent by$200 during this process,
knowing that you know like Iwould have to move, I would have
to find a new house.
She was going to get, you know,some like a lot of coin, more
than the maybe $ of my stuff instorage.
In about 10 days I moved out in10 days.
I didn't have time to look foranother apartment.
(10:43):
I put the lease without a monthin advance, without giving her
(11:09):
a month notice, and I moved in.
Speaker 1 (11:12):
She kicked you out at the drop of a dime.
Speaker 2 (11:14):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (11:16):
Yeah, can I ask you, because you and I have such good
conversations, we be dab funny.
But like, what did safety feellike in this?
Because I know, as you knowsomeone, that we are in
communication.
Like you were feeling, like youwere building roots and you
could create, and then havingthese invasive people come in,
(11:37):
like what did safety feel likeduring that time?
Speaker 2 (11:40):
I believe it was superhuman.
I believe it was like literallyme running on like prayer and
like spirits because I waslifting things by myself, my
grounding rituals that reallyaided me during that time
(12:08):
because it felt like spiritualwarfare.
And after, even after I left,it was revealed that it you know
, it really really was.
It really was.
Speaker 1 (12:19):
When you like the spirituality aspect.
I totally understand that part.
How did it show up in your body?
Speaker 2 (12:49):
Um, I was very tired, you know, like I, I, I felt
like I was spiraling, um, likemy body, like I really had to
like push my body to its limitsduring that time to like really
like move in that way, likebecause it was so fast, like
asking for help and, you know,trying to coordinate with other
people just like didn't happen.
I think maybe two people helpedme during that moment.
Like at the end, you know, soreally, it was like, I think,
(13:11):
within my body and myrelationship with my body, like
I really had to like like soothemyself and like affirm myself
and and like kind of like grabmyself and, like you know,
remind myself like you're here,like this is real, like it's
happening.
I know it's a lot like, I knowyou're tired, but like rest, so
(13:34):
like like taking showers wasreally important for me, like
still doing my kind of um, mydaily routine, um, there were
lots of things that I did likefor my body because I was like
I'm not taking this with me, solike salt scrubs or like masks,
like using my clay, like justdifferent things like that I was
(13:56):
purging and giving away.
Like I remember there was justlike moments where I was like
all of this.
There's all of these likeessential oils that I'm like not
taking with me.
I have all of this salt that Iwas like going to make for like,
um, like bath salts or likedifferent blends and stuff.
So I I remember just havinglike big bowls of salt and like
(14:17):
I was putting essential oils andherbs and like mixing them in
and, and because I just didn'tknow what I was going to do and
I really felt like I was movingaway from New Orleans.
I couldn't even process what mytrajectory was, but because I
just had to focus on me gettingout.
(14:38):
But I did feel like I wasleaving and that was hard for me
too, because my friends arethere, family there, the
neighbors that I had where I wasso close with.
So I was just scooping thissalt in these jars, like telling
my neighbors what's happening,what's going on, like giving
them salt, my my practice oflike really giving gifts to and
(14:58):
like finding blessings in it,that really did, like um, give
me strength during that momentBecause, also, like the biggest,
(15:18):
the biggest thing that washappening was also me leaving
this house.
The house had, you know, had aspirit and like I was with this
spirit for like so long and itheld so much space for me, and I
really do believe that in a lotof ways, the house also was
like all right, baby, like thisis a nest and stuff, but you're,
you're about to do some wildshit, like you're about to go
(15:42):
around the world and like shit,you're about to go around the
world and do all of this magic.
It's time I had my passport onmy altar before all of this even
happened.
I was praying for travel.
I was really focused on theritual of travel and the places
that I was going, and I think itwas just like time for me to
(16:04):
leave the nest, for sure.
Speaker 1 (16:06):
Did you finish the rosary?
I did, okay, I just needed, Ijust needed the update.
I was like, did we finish therosary?
Cause I really thought abouthow rosary is made.
I was like.
I was like, ooh, that is a time.
Okay, let's get onto theseplanes.
Yeah, how?
(16:28):
Because I would talk to you andbe like, where are you?
And I'd be like, oh, let's talkabout the one.
How did you get to the firstplace?
Speaker 2 (16:38):
And then financing yeah, I went to Mexico.
First.
It was a decision that camefrom, like, yeah, me already
having a rough couple years,even though I was in this
(16:59):
beautiful house space.
The years were rough, from 2020, landing in New Orleans, a the
the years, you know, were rough.
Like from 2020, like, landingin New Orleans, a place like
being pushed out of Los Angelesbecause of, like, um lack of
affordable housing.
Um, based on the money that Iwas bringing in and the, the
change in my career and thechange in my finances, um,
(17:23):
because of the pandemic, like I,I, I had to leave.
So already I was mourning that,licking my wounds from that in
New Orleans and processing youknow other things that happened
during that year, during thosetwo years, and I was like you
know what, like, with this beingthe like, the final kind of
(17:45):
like thing happening, like mehaving to leave this house and
do all that, like, I'm going tocelebrate myself.
I'm going to go.
My birthday was right around thecorner.
I moved out in 10 days,starting from like mid February.
It was the shortest month and Istill got out before the end of
the month.
I had one month in New Orleansin March and I was able to visit
(18:08):
family land of mine that wasstolen from us in Arkansas, and
that's kind of where thespiritual warfare aspect was
coming in, because I was kind offace-to-face with housing
instability, land instabilitythrough my family, like
generationally.
So I was just like I I'm goingto go back to my parents' house.
(18:29):
They changed the room that Iwas like living in when I was
like the last two years that Iwas in Los Angeles I was staying
with them and was in that room,but they changed it.
So they made a space for me inthe basement.
I got my bags and what wasn'tin storage and took it to their
(18:50):
house and was in the basementand was like, yeah, I'm going to
go, I'm going to go to Mexico.
A friend of mine had wanted togo, so we were like, let's go,
it's just time's up for us to goto Oaxaca.
So we went to Oaxaca and I wasin the Yucatan, we were at these
beautiful houses, had somebeautiful food and then I was in
(19:12):
like Mexico city.
So I think I was there inMexico for like about three,
three to four weeks and what Iguess what funded that like part
of my trip, was me coming backto LA.
I came back to LA in April andlike almost immediately booked a
(19:34):
guest spot on All Rise.
It's like a judge drama, I think, on Fox, but has changed now,
like the third season, I thinkaired on either, I think, own
network and they had some kindof deal with HBO Max, so I think
you can stream it on HBO Max.
(19:55):
But, yeah, I booked a littleguest spot there and, you know,
got some coin right when Ilanded in Los Angeles, which was
, you know, like a big blessing,um, and was able to to go there
with ease, knowing that Iwouldn't be working for that
(20:15):
amount of time, like three tofour weeks, yeah that also comes
to mind as someone that nowtravels like once a month.
Speaker 1 (20:28):
Airports fucking suck , so how did you navigate all of
these airports and all of thesepeople?
As someone that also might hearthis and be like, oh shit, I am
also being pushed out, I'm alsobeing called to travel, I'm
being called to listen to myancestors, but have no fucking
idea how to do it.
Speaker 2 (20:49):
Yeah, I mean, I was really thinking about it, and
thinking about it quite recentlytoo, because I was like, oh,
that is, that is something likedifferent, different.
I started flying I think, Ithink, my first flight.
My mom has a picture of it andposted it like on my birthday
(21:10):
this past year and I think I waslike I think she said I was
like maybe five when we firstflew and like went to Disneyland
, but I started flying by myselfwhen I was like six or seven
years old and I would yeah, Iwas like an unaccompanied minor.
My mom would go with me to thegate and, you know, drop me off,
and the flight attendant wouldtake me and we'd walk down and
(21:34):
I'd have a seat right in thefront and, like I would, you
know, just be sitting there.
I had a little necklace aroundmy you know, saying that I was
an unaccompanied minor.
Necklace around my you know,saying that I was an accompanied
minor, unaccompanied minor.
The flight attendant wouldcheck on me.
I'd be like, hey, I'm good, youknow, because I was going to my
grandparents' house.
I would go there every summerand every like Thanksgiving and
(21:59):
Christmas, and I did that formaybe like seven years.
So there was for all of, from,you know, from seven to 14, like
I was taking flights like bymyself, like back and forth
between San Jose and Los Angeles, so it was an hour flight, it
was a cute little time, but Ithink, like the acclimation to
(22:22):
like, I guess, flight navigating, flight navigating like the,
the energies of flight, wassomething that I had to do at
like a very young age.
So I think that definitely likehelps.
And then on top of that, like Ihave, I have my, my armor.
I think it's a different kind ofball game flying during, you
(22:45):
know, a pandemic, you know where, like a lot of people, at least
in the States you know, aren'treally focused on just
counteractive measures likefiltration system and masks.
That I did see a lot more of inplaces like South Korea, in
places like Japan.
It was like woven into theinfrastructure, where I'm
(23:07):
looking at these huge likebox-like structures and they
have, like on a screen showingyou like the amount of CO2, like
they're filtering the air inplaces like the mall and places,
like you know, like conventioncenters.
(23:27):
So it would just make sensethat these places would be, I
mean, these things would be inplaces like hospitals or
airplanes which are airplanes,but also like airports which
they're not.
So I, I just you know, I I takemy COVID, my COVID precautions.
(23:49):
I wear my mask on the plane.
I've worn my mask on, you know,like 13 hour flights.
Speaker 1 (23:58):
I don't mask everywhere now, but a plane,
they, they cough raw for me.
They just be coughing out loudand I, I it's a wet.
Speaker 2 (24:07):
It's a wet chest cough, it's a wet lung, and you
just like release and I'm justlike I'm like I really I've been
you, you know, of course, moresensitive to it, but you know
something about that kind oflike portal of travel, that
travel portal.
People just show up becausethey just, you know, they gotta
(24:29):
get, they gotta get from likethis place to that place and
I've just, I've just heard somereally gnarly coughs, to the
point where I'm just like damn,damn damn.
Speaker 1 (24:44):
I think that I would be remiss if I didn't ask this
direct question and which willcome up continuously for me in
this conversation is safety?
So, as a Black queer person,right, because there's different
levels of this what is it liketraveling to all these places in
different countries where wearen't always loved and all the
(25:04):
we barely liked here liked okay.
So what is that like?
What has it been.
Can we talk about it and sharewhat you want?
Speaker 2 (25:14):
Yeah, no, I mean, it's been, it's been a whirlwind
because you know I've been to alot of places.
I think the first thing to youknow that comes to mind about,
about this around.
This is like the, the air, theairports you know around.
(25:35):
This is like the airports.
You know they have systems evenof like, picking like gender on
the scan.
And if they choose, like, ifthey assume that you are a
gender or have certain and it'sreally genital based, because,
yeah, it's like a button thatthey choose, and if I, because
of how I present and especiallywhen I mask and when I'm
(25:55):
speaking, a lot of people willassume I'm a cis woman.
So the person pressing thebutton on the scan has multiple
times pressed woman and then mygenitals flag the machine.
So they're like what do you got?
What do you got?
What do you got Like, what areyou smuggling?
And I'm just like You're glad toknow There've been you know
(26:22):
many times where like that hashappened and like the woman or
the person who checks, like whatis assumed as woman in the
person who checks, like the whatis assumed as woman in in the
TSA, will come over to me andusually when they're like closer
or something, or like maybeseeing I have less mass around
(26:42):
my chest or something, they'lllike kind of clock me and be
like oh, like we need to run youthrough the machine again and
just press another button, orthere we need to run you through
the machine again and justpress another button, or there
there usually will be like a manthat steps in and then just
like gropes me pretty much,which is like extremely invasive
and I think that's, you know,the first thing about safety.
(27:03):
That's like really, you know,coming up around like the
airport is just like kind ofbeing at the whim of of I guess
it's, you know, it's the state,really, you know, and like these
(27:26):
extensions of the state andlike realizing how violent,
thank you, how violent the stateis, even just in how they treat
people going to or from, andall of those moments of like
maybe feeling around my chestand or like my genital area has
been in this in the States, inthe state, like different state
(27:49):
airports, I think, in LosAngeles and, um New Orleans, um
Texas.
So when I've been like traveling, like out of the country and
coming back in, one thing thathas helped is getting on global
entry.
Um, in a lot of ways you have togive up a lot of information
(28:09):
for this.
Like I understand that as aprivilege as well, like being
able to provide the governmentwith vast amounts of information
to basically like flag me assomebody who's not a potential
risk because of how muchinformation I volunteer and
because of that I've been ableto, you know, skip a certain
(28:31):
level of like invasiveness atimmigration, specifically when
entering back into the States.
So where there's like this longline and usually in that line
people are looking at me,staring at me, kind of, there
might be people who likeinteract with me or ask me about
things, and then I get to thefront desk and maybe they're
(28:52):
asking me about things and Ihave to be on my feet for a long
period of time.
Like that I've been able tocircumvent by applying for
global entry, which has its ownlevel of in invasiveness because
I have to pull down my mask andthey have to scan my face and
(29:14):
all of this.
But I can easily just walkthrough and it's been less
daunting to even just arriveback into the States when I'm
already processing coming backto a colony that, at least even
during my travels, I have had adeep desire to move away from
(29:36):
and to live outside of.
Speaker 1 (29:41):
We'll get to the big question in a moment, but what
is your mental health like thesedays, as have been doing this
outside in these streets?
You are back in the States forright now, but we also know
you're staying.
Speaker 2 (29:56):
But what's mental?
Speaker 1 (29:57):
health, like for you these days.
Speaker 2 (30:00):
My mental health is really volatile, chaotic.
I definitely want to talk aboutfinances, because that has a
lot to do with my mental healthand the volatility of finances
has been pretty intense duringthis process, which is so wild.
But I will say, like I startedseeing a therapist, I had a
(30:28):
therapist, maybe like the firsttherapist outside of, like what
my introduction to therapy was,which was through the church.
I would consider it conversiontherapy.
People are praying, you know,for you know my sexuality to be
different.
So that was what my entrance tobehavioral therapy was at, like
(30:51):
16 years old.
I can't recall it being morethan even just like five
sessions, just because I was notreally responsive to it and I
did have an aversion to therapy,which is why it took so long
for me to like like see atherapist for the first time
(31:14):
after that experience.
But I did and she was, she waslovely and like 2018, 2019, I
was able to, I think, into 2020,I think we had like a few
sessions, like during thepandemic, virtually, and we just
it just wasn't really like.
She was the first person, shewas very sweet, she was very
(31:36):
attentive, but I didn't reallyfeel a lot of like growth and
like challenging and new ideasand like new, like tools coming
to me through our relationship.
So I, I I stopped meeting her.
I, you know, had you know,rough and tumble couple of years
(32:00):
through 2020, 2021, 2022.
And that was when I I foundanother therapist, so I was
seeing her virtually, which wasa big blessing, and over the
course of, I think, one year, wewere able to meet and I got a
(32:25):
lot of vocabulary about what Iwas feeling, things that
happened in my past that Ihadn't named in that way that I
felt, and that I was aware ofbut hadn't named in order to be
able to communicate to the depththat I was able to communicate,
like after she shared, like hervocabulary with me and was just
(32:48):
like present with me.
So I was really thankful,vocabulary with me and was just
like present with me.
So I was really thankful.
We stopped meeting in um at theend of last year.
So it'll be almost about a yearUm once October hits, it'll be
almost about a year of me notseeing anyone.
And I do I do feel I do feellike I'm mourning a little bit
(33:15):
of a great therapist that I had.
I really enjoyed our sessions,I really enjoyed checking in in
that way.
So I know that that's a bigthing on my list, it really is.
That's a big thing on my list,it really is.
(33:36):
And at the same time, like, yeah, I, I have to rely on my, my
routine, which, because of mylifestyle, because of the
travels, is constantly changing.
Even things that I would haveaccess to, like food, like what
I'm eating, like aren't, arealways in flux, are always
different.
Even just the, even just myskincare routine.
(33:57):
I'm like, oh, like, when I'm inlike desert, more hot, more
like hot dry, I can use this,this kind of routine.
And when I'm in like humid,this and that, like I'm not, it
not, it's completely different.
I use different products, I dodifferent things, I'm able to
move differently or dodifferently.
So with my routine that'sconstantly changing, like I
(34:20):
really feel, like I'm stretchingthe muscle of like any time,
like I'm moved off center, likeI feel like I can navigate very
quickly off center, like I feellike I can navigate very quickly
.
But that's why I said like mymental health kind of feels kind
of chaotic and like volatileright now and I feel like I'm
like I mean I'm doing a greatjob, I feel healthy to the point
(34:45):
where I can, you know,recognize things that are
activating me and I canrecognize things that I want to
heal, whether I can see ways outof the thing.
I know that there are tools thathave worked for me thus far and
whenever I'm at my wit's end,to rely on those tools to
(35:07):
journal, to meditate, to put myintentions out loud, to speak
out loud, to pray, to drinkwater, to stretch my body, to
dance.
So there are things that I know, like boo, you haven't done
that in a while and I knowyou're going through it Like you
(35:27):
gotta, you gotta, you know, dosome of that, do some of that,
like right now, do some, andthat really does help me in
those moments.
But at the, at the, at the endof the day, it really does, it
really does like come down to myaccess to resources.
That is that is really, likeyou know, impacting, like these
(35:52):
movements as well.
I would love a house, I wouldlove to be more stabilized than
I am, but I haven't found thatyet and a big part also of my
travelings is to find a placethat could hold me.
Speaker 1 (36:10):
Where do you think the closest place has been?
Is to find a place that couldhold me, you know.
Speaker 2 (36:13):
Where do you think the closest place has been?
Right now it's between Braziland Japan.
So I think when I was in Brazil, a lot of things like awakened
for me and unlocked for me.
I think I was in like probablythe largest like African,
(36:35):
african descended, likepopulated, like space that I had
ever been.
It's like more than 50%, morethan 50% of the entire country.
But I was in the state of Bahiaand I was in Salvador, which I
believe is like 80% Africandescended people live there.
So I was present there feedingmy ancestors for the first time
(37:00):
after having moved from NewOrleans.
There I was able to put a plateon my altar there.
I was able to learn Portugueseand learn from an Afro-Brazilian
teacher.
I was able to really connectwith people there.
I volunteered at a clinic, likea healing clinic that my friend
(37:26):
who lives there also has aconnection with, who lives there
also like has a connection with.
They were like you can come by,like practice Reiki and like
massage therapy.
People really need it, likeit's people from the you know
like, from the city.
So I went, I rode, went thereand was able to, you know like,
be with all of these like Black,black femmes, like
(37:49):
Afro-Brazilieros Like.
I was there like and they wereseeing me and I was thankful I
wish I could visit again, likehaving learned Portuguese, cause
I was there for six months andthis was within like the first
three weeks that I was likerolling up my sleeves like hey,
like does anybody want ReikiLike or a massage.
(38:12):
So I think like being able toreturn and have like deeper
conversations would reallyimpact me because even across
like us not really speaking eachother's language proficiently
in that way Like we were talkingwith our hearts and like our
bodies too, like I was able toreally like learn from the
(38:35):
people through my experiencesthere and through that like
really really change and receivelike a feeling of kinship that
I had never felt like beforeoutside of the States.
I had only traveled to CostaRica, spain and Canada since
(39:00):
then, and then Mexico.
So like going there and peoplejust automatically speaking in
Portuguese to me because I lookBrazilian, they're just like
you're Brazilian, like you,you're Brazilian.
Let's talk like this.
And for somebody, I think somepeople were like oh, you look
familiar, you look like my child, have we?
(39:23):
And I'm like I'm not from here.
So it was on my heart to evenbe there.
Prior to me moving to NewOrleans, I had a vision about me
going to New Orleans, going toBrazil and going to South Africa
, in kind of this trine.
That was like revealing itself,these like alternate universes
(39:48):
where, if my ancestors wereforced on a different ship, like
I would have had lives in theseplaces and in these ways.
And I think that, really, thatreally like activated something
within me my relationship withwater, my relationship with
ancestry, having witnessed landthat you know, like a part of my
(40:11):
lineage is indigenous to beingstolen from us in Arkansas and
my relationship with the States,like really, really, in being
invited to expand during a timewhere I had no home to have to
navigate around, returning to orpaying rent to.
(40:32):
I was just able to venture inthat way and dive deep to the
point where I was so thankful tobe able to stay for that amount
of time.
The violence of, like,imperialism, you know, and
global, global, global racism,global, global dominance that
(40:56):
the state extends.
It's, it's so interesting, it'sinsidious, to be able to talk
to people, really talk to them,and see how their travels impact
, are impacted just by, you know, having a passport from a
different, a different colonywhen we are, you know, like I
(41:18):
said, the same people or orcousin or kinfolk just stolen to
different parts of the earth.
So I think it was veryimportant for me to um like feel
, um the activation of theAfrican diaspora through being
in Brazil in that way, umstranger, as a foreigner, in
(41:42):
ways that just like, I think,showed me that I can be
(42:12):
comfortable in those settings aswell.
I had just traveled in Korea,like two months prior, so I flew
from Busan to Osaka and I wasable to like really heal there,
learn Japanese there from like aprivate tutor and just like
(42:34):
learn about culture through myteachers, and that was just
really lovely to to experienceas well.
I think, like I I just havelike a natural affinity to like
the foods that they're eating Alot of fermented foods.
(42:56):
I've been trying to heal my gutand center probiotics in my
dietary like daily eating habits, eating rituals, like to be
able to just like have access tothat is really important.
And then there's a lot ofancestor worship present there
(43:28):
really does like just centermore accessibility for people
who need a little bit differentin the structure of things.
It was in Korea and Japan thatI saw like bars in front of the
urinal, to like hold somebody up, like that was something that I
(43:51):
had never seen before.
I'd seen Braille on like cansof alcohol, so that people can
differentiate, like if they're,you know, going to get twisted.
You know, like I think thatthese things on top of like just
seeing like the neighborhoodthat I was in in Osaka, Not only
(44:14):
was it like the highestpopulation of like Korean,
Japanese people, like it waslike the Koreatown in Osaka that
I was staying in, but it alsohad the highest amount of
elderly people.
So I really was in the space inOsaka to like see how elderly
people could be treated, to seeyou know what an infrastructure
(44:37):
that supports aging looks like,which is something that is a
little bit harder to see in theStates.
Speaker 1 (44:46):
Sure, absolutely it is.
Speaker 2 (44:48):
Yeah, between that and also just like masking
culture and like a culture of,you know, protection of airborne
, airborne viruses, kind ofbeing passed Like a lot, a lot
of.
I saw like billboards withpeople wearing masks and it was
(45:10):
just like very natural, like inpublic spaces inside, to just
like wear masks in that waywhere other places weren't,
weren't, weren't giving that,and I was kind of navigating
through a lot of anxiety aboutthat, especially because all
(45:30):
throughout the pandemic so farI've been able to find jobs that
I can work remotely, so Ihaven't had to compromise how I
was protecting myself justbecause I wasn't forced to
engage in working with thepublic, which I know a lot of
(45:53):
people have and a lot of queerpeople specifically.
So I feel very blessed in thatand at the same time like it's
been hard, honey, it's been hard.
Speaker 1 (46:04):
Something that I know is really important to you and
if you have been listening youhave heard it weaves in and out
of this as community.
Speaker 2 (46:15):
Can you tell folks how important it is to find
actual community, Not justpeople that have been like, yeah
, blah, blah, blah, but likeit's a lot of fucking work and I
think, like what the pandemichas showed me, like what you
(46:37):
know, like having to isolate andlike see how people are
navigating, see how people areresponding to genocide on
multiple levels, see how peopleare responding to like recession
and people in need, racialinjustice, state sanctioned
(47:04):
violence in this particularportal, like in like from 2020,
I have definitely like.
My community has shrunk sincethen and in a lot of ways, my
sense of community orunderstanding of community was
(47:25):
deeply woven within capitalism.
Because I was working in thepublic sector honey, I still am
in some ways but I had to getout of my house to get paid.
I had to be on set, I had to bein the mix, I was going to
clubs, I was working at the door, I was bartending, finding odd
jobs, I was performing.
I grew up in Hollywood.
(47:45):
I was going to auditions,meeting people.
A part of socializing andbuilding community was instilled
in me.
To enhance and increase yourability to be able to get paid
and get a job and survive withincapitalism, you had to be a
(48:05):
busy bee and talk to the rightpeople and say the right things
and wear the right things andmove in the way that really did.
Yeah, it made me extremely goodat socializing because it was
(48:26):
deeply intertwined with mysurvival.
It was deeply intertwined withmy survival.
It was deeply intertwined withmy survival and I did, I did
find, in the change through thepandemic and me you know, seeing
how people were showing up forme or vice versa that it was, it
was.
It was so insidious that it waslike that and I do believe it's
(48:50):
it.
It it's like that in a lot ofways, and there have been people
that I've fought fallen, andit's not even just like, it's
not even bad blood, you know,it's not even like.
You know like damn, like we,you really showed your your ass.
And now I see, you, I see, andwe're not friends and we're not
(49:11):
in community, we're not talking,it's just.
It's just it been informed by adeep sense of urgency to be
well and to survive.
I I was.
I was deeply isolative the firstthree months of 2020, starting
(49:32):
in March Like I didn't leave thehouse, we got things delivered,
I wasn't forced to work and Iwas going through a breakup.
So I was like very, veryinsular and when I was sitting
in front of my computer, I waslike I need to, like I need to
(49:53):
find another place to live.
I can't live here.
I can't do this like this, likeI gotta go.
I was making lists of theplaces that I knew people and
like and where I wanted to to be.
Oh, I gotta charge my computerreally quick, one second, all
(50:20):
right.
So I was sitting in front of mycomputer and I was trying to
figure out where I was going tolive and I was making lists of
where I knew people and I madelike I said Los Angeles, new
York.
I knew some people who had justmoved to New Mexico I'm going
to put New Mexico there, newOrleans and Chicago.
(50:42):
I got family, I got some peoplethat I know up there and I
started looking for houses inall of those areas.
And it was New Orleans becauseliterally my friend, my family,
my relative was like oh, you'rethinking about coming to New
Orleans.
I got a room you can come andland, you can come and stay for
as long as you need while youlook for a house.
(51:03):
Point blank period, come home.
And I did continue looking inother places, but I was able to
move to New Orleans and I wasable to find a house like a
month in.
So I was like I do want to finda house, like after a month,
(51:23):
and I said that and I did, and Iwas so thankful because it was
really close to where myrelatives lived and I was able
to like link up and ourinteractions were informed by
the pandemic as well as, liketheir disability, like it was
hard for them to leave the houseand there wasn't like any
(51:45):
infrastructure for them to, likeyou know, be outside even or go
to the park.
So we got close because of thatand I saw a lot of the
inaccessibility of like thingsthat other parts of my community
like were kind of built in likenightlife performance life, um,
(52:08):
like um set set set life likeit just really showed me like
how deeply, deeply problematicthese structures are, to the
point where, like anycommunities built on it like are
are having a rough time and andthey are like people that I am
(52:29):
connected to, people that I was,like you know, going to parties
with performing with, likechilling with, like people are
going through it Like stillright now, not being able to pay
their rent, having to move,people getting evicted like
people, people not having likesupport and not having people to
(52:55):
show up at hospitals to seethem, to take care of them,
feeling like they're gonna, youknow, like die alone and people
don't know what happened to them.
Like there's, like there'sthere's, I feel like we had an
opportunity to slow down andreally build community more than
(53:15):
we've ever had.
And I do feel like, out of allof the demographics that I've
seen, like building strongcommunities, like it is queer,
people-resourced and it's it'svery hard having to navigate
your own survival or having yoursurvival tied up in, you know,
(53:42):
accommodating the state by bybeing outside of your house, by
working at night, by, you know,being in the lights, or by, at
night, by you know, being in thelights, or by you know being
that Yas queen and like notbeing able to to really heal
yourself.
You know not being able toreally just like retreat and
hold up and really like check inand be like you know, like this
(54:07):
is what's happening.
That's why you know, when Italk to you and talk about
tending the garden, like I'mlike this is like it's really
real to me, like I really, Ireally, it's really deeply on my
heart that people have evenjust a weekend, a week, to like
(54:32):
show something for it, you know,or provide like a product at
the end of the day for it, orlike promote it, or like make it
a job or make it a reality TVshow.
Like it is life to be able tocommune and build like
(54:57):
one-on-one and really strengthenindividual connections, and
it's through that that I've beenable to like really understand
what community is.
So I took the long way aroundbut I think that by my community
getting smaller and me beingable to show up for the handful
(55:19):
of people that I'm able toreally build with, over time,
I've seen the fruit that muchdeeper to where, like you know,
I'm like I don't even know whereI'm going to live or how or
where I'm going to go, andpeople are like oh yeah, come to
(55:41):
my house, you can stay as longas you want.
Oh yeah, we got a room for you.
Like you can come here.
You know, like, come here, youcan live here, rent free, you
know, or pay what you can, kindof thing.
And that I do believe that youknow would have happened maybe
like prior to that, but itwasn't.
(56:01):
And it really does stand out tome like now in my time, of just
like having a different needand moving differently, that the
people that I've been like,connected and grown with, like
are the people that are showingup for me and vice versa, in
like, really, in really, reallyhard times, you know.
Speaker 1 (56:27):
I think that's so real.
That's when it like people arealways around us People are like
oh you know, or people be likeoh you know so-and-so.
No, I don't, we're all friends.
No, we're not.
We might.
You know, we're very particularabout language around here.
I'm like I don't know aboutthat.
What do you think wouldsurprise people the most about
(56:49):
you?
Speaker 2 (56:58):
What would surprise people the most about you?
What would surprise people themost?
Speaker 1 (57:00):
I'm chock full of surprises.
Speaker 2 (57:05):
I'm so curious.
I guess the first thing thatpopped into my mind which is, I
mean, is an interesting, maybeconversation is that maybe I'm
an introvert, like I am aprofessional extrovert.
I have had to survive throughextroversion.
My career and my financialopportunities are deeply tied to
(57:38):
like being seen and having likemy thoughts or my words, or
like just me, my life,accessible to people through
social media.
The worst like kind of likeperiod of my finances, my
financial life, started tohappen when I was off of
Instagram for one for one yearand I I didn't take that.
I didn't take that lightly.
So I think, like I, you know,I'm like hey, hi, like what's up
(58:05):
, how are you doing?
Or I get out and I'm like, hey,what's up?
Wow, is like such a, such amask, you know, such a mask for
like damn, like I wish we're onthis like music that's blaring,
(58:33):
which I'm thankful for because Ican at least like dance and
like release and mask that wayto just like move my body and
kind of like shake.
But I would much rather likeheal and like be soft.
Speaker 1 (58:50):
Okay, that's like oh my God.
And I'd be like, hey, thishappened to me yesterday.
I was like oh my God.
And I was like I was like whois it?
They were like it's you.
I said, oh, okay, what'shappening?
I was like, oh me, oh, oh, niceto meet you.
(59:28):
And I'm like, oh, we got tokeep talking.
I can't do this.
I came to just stand here inthe present.
I didn't actually.
You might find us on one ofthose days where our mask is off
and it doesn't mean we don'tcare about people.
We care about people so deeplythat I need time to heal from
people.
Speaker 2 (59:42):
Yeah, yes, I do.
Speaker 1 (59:46):
Because also the absorption of the status of the
world, not the state, not thecountry, the world, she's heavy.
Speaker 2 (59:55):
Oh yeah.
Speaker 1 (59:56):
She's heavy, she's pissed.
I'm tired.
All I can do, take a nap, okay.
Speaker 2 (01:00:05):
That's real.
Speaker 1 (01:00:06):
Yeah, yeah.
Well, before we, before we getyou some more coins and tell
people more about your business.
The last question of the showfor me is because inquisitive
that's the word we're usinginstead of nosy inquisitive what
is the wildest thing someonehas texted, emailed or DMJU in
the last two weeks?
Speaker 2 (01:00:28):
The wildest thing.
Speaker 1 (01:00:32):
No, your journey.
Speaker 2 (01:00:34):
Uh-huh, I I will say this only because it was giving
me a really big chuckle todayjust because, like I, I'm so
thankful for my ego and I like Idon't, I feel like it doesn't
(01:00:57):
impede me being able to likechange, and change quite
drastically.
I recently started to promotemy house cleaning services in
Los Angeles, recently started topromote my house cleaning
services in Los Angeles and,like I haven't cleaned people's
houses professionally but I haveI mean, even prior to the
(01:01:18):
pandemic, like I was doing morelike house cleansing, like I was
showing up at people's houses,like cleansing the space, like
going through, receivinginformation, like energetic
stuff, like intuitive healingthings.
So I do have like a backgroundof people inviting me to their
homes and I would do likeenergetic healings for them and
(01:01:38):
stuff.
But like I'm really getting onmy hands and knees and like
scrubbing some, like you know,getting people's shit, like
getting in the dirt and stuff,and I think it was like me, it
was me posting and like peoplejust being very responsive.
And like I have like I'mthankful, I'm blessed that I
(01:02:01):
have like three, three clientsthis week.
You know, going to like threedifferent houses.
You know like three differenthouses, you know, and I just
like it's been really a strugglefor me to try to like it's
literally like pulling teeth andnail to try to get people to
pay for like workshops that I'vedone and like to get a reading
(01:02:23):
for me or to buy an album buysome music for, like you know,
$5 for an album or like you know, $55 for reading, and you know,
just like these.
But buy a $25 book and I'm likeI'm charging $25 an hour to
like clean your house.
And people were like yay, likeyeah, come clean, I would love
(01:02:45):
that.
Somebody was like I'd love tofly you out, like here, so you
could clean my house.
Like, just like, fly you out,like here, so you could clean my
house.
Like, just like, kind of like a, it's like an interesting
response.
It's an interesting response tome and finding where the bag is
and finding where the coin isand what people are willing to
pay for, you know, and like mything and having to navigate,
(01:03:05):
like you know, life withincapitalism is to like fluid,
especially just because I don'thave a nine to five, I don't
have a salary job, I don't havejust one job.
I never was raised to thinkthat I even needed one job to do
what I was doing.
I was raised by a single momwho was a Gemini and she was
(01:03:29):
also an artist.
So I saw somebody hustling inLos Angeles to pay for not only
herself but for me.
So it's very familiar to me tohustle and to find where the
coin is, and I haven't been.
I think this will probablyprobably be like one of the
(01:03:53):
first like jobs where I have toleave like my house in order to
do for the past four years, likeI was able to do like a retreat
and like the set was also likea thing as well, but it was just
different.
It was more controlledenvironments, people were like
masking and testing more there.
(01:04:14):
So I feel like having to movethrough some anxiety of like
leaving my house to follow thisbag is just like, yeah, it's so
interesting, I don't know.
So I guess, like all of the DMsof people really excited for me
to clean their houses, likemaybe not knowing that I'm a
superstar even you know what Imean Like undercover superstar,
(01:04:39):
like making like internationalbops I just performed in Japan
like twice last year about toleave for Japan and like next
month and yeah, I'll clean yourtoilet, you know, I just think
like it's not.
It's not that I have anythingagainst like like cleaning or
house care work.
I've been doing that work forlike 10 years, but mainly
(01:05:01):
through the focus of childcare,and did clean, you know,
people's spaces and kitchens andspaces that the kids are in and
the kids like.
So this is I.
I've been about this work, um,but it's just interesting how,
how it's, it's and it's not.
(01:05:23):
I don't know if it's like theabsurdity of having to match the
volatility of my financesthrough the volatility of like
how I make money and like showup with my skills.
It's like okay, like if you'renot gonna pay me for this, like
you can pay me for that.
I could get this, this bag here.
So I'm, I'm thankful, I'mthankful, even though it's
(01:05:46):
really wild to me, um, like whatI'm, what I'm, what I'm doing
right now and what's like atleast popping off for me in
within the past like week of metrying to like summon coins for
months now is like multipleclients kind of popping off and
reaching out to me to like comeand clean their spaces.
(01:06:08):
So I'm tickled by it and I'multimately so thankful.
So I have like four more weekshere, so I'm hoping to get you
know in my little.
That's why I said how do I feelright now?
Who am I?
I'm Jordy Poppins, honey,coming in on the East wind,
finding where I fit in, where Ineed to be, and you know, I'll
(01:06:29):
get you right, I'll get youtogether.
Speaker 1 (01:06:31):
I love those friends, Everyone be welcomed.
So, before you go, where can he, she, they, them, ZZ, everybody
darling?
Where can they find out aboutyou?
Where can they send you money?
Where can they purchase fromyou?
Speaker 2 (01:06:56):
from you.
Yeah, right now I'm earth toGeordie everything.
E-a-r-t-h-t-o-j-o-r-d-i.
You can go to mycom, which ismy website.
You can earth to Geordie VenmoCash App.
You can donate that way.
I'm paypalme slash earth toGeordie If you feel you know, if
you international, you gotPayPal, but I do have a website
and I do have a store there, soI have a lot of virtual
offerings.
(01:07:17):
I provide readings, recordedreadings.
Some of my music is there.
You can find the links to likemy band camp on my website so
you can buy any of the albumsthat I released and music that I
released.
I just released a new EP inJune.
That is like popping.
(01:07:38):
I'm really thankful for thepeople who've been streaming it.
But, yeah, it's Earth toGeordie Everything.
And I have even like a book, alittle book of potions, that I
think within the past two monthsI um, I think I got it on
Amazon, starting in January.
So it's available on Amazon, um, for I believe, $20 right now.
(01:08:00):
It's called little book ofpotions, um, and you just can.
Uh, the link on my website willtake you to the Amazon link.
Speaker 1 (01:08:08):
Yes, well y'all.
I hope you received every oneof your blessings and didn't
miss any, because some of y'alljust be missing on this wild,
but until next time, y'all.
Speaker 2 (01:08:19):
Ciao.
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