November 14, 2024 • 51 mins
Do you have any questions, any comments about the episode? Jimanekia would love to hear from you!
What does it mean to truly heal from trauma, and how do we create spaces that nurture this journey? As we wrap up the first season of Trauma Queen, we reflect on the profound conversations we've had since 2018, enriched by the invaluable contribution of our talented editor, Chris. After my father's passing, podcasting became a beacon of passion and healing, allowing us to explore the depths of trauma with authenticity and grace. Chris shares their unique perspective from behind the scenes, emphasizing the importance of selecting guests who bring genuine, personal connections to their stories.
The road hasn't been easy, navigating personal challenges like relapse, breakups, and loss. Yet, the podcast has been a pillar of focus and resilience, serving as a testament to the power of intention and community support. We critique societal pressures of resilience, particularly within predominantly white spaces, and challenge the platitudes that often accompany this narrative. As someone who grew up navigating the contrasting worlds of Chicago and its suburbs, I share my journey of understanding the true meaning of strength beyond stereotypes and cultural misperceptions.
Looking ahead, we're filled with excitement about the future. Our visions include global projects, plans for expansion, and powerful collaborations aimed at addressing trauma and addiction on a larger scale. We share anecdotes about intrusive political messages and humorous gym escapades, always with an eye on personal growth and community impact. As we prepare for new seasons, we’re thankful for the trust and stories shared by our guests and listeners. Here's to manifesting blessings and creating spaces that genuinely support our healing journeys.
Thank you all for listening. Set a boundary with yourself this week, set a boundary with someone else. If someone else does not respect that boundary. LET THEM LOOSE YOU! Stay hydrated internally and externally. We do not have an ashy family.
IG: @The_Trauma_Within
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@thetraumawithin
Jimanekia Ig: @Jimanekia
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 2 (00:12):
Hello and welcome to the last episode of season one.
If you are here, welcome,welcome, like subscribe.
What do the girls say Likesubscribe?
What else they say?
Chris, because we're going todo better in season two.
Speaker 1 (00:31):
Yes, like comment subscribe.
You hit me on the Insta.
Speaker 2 (00:35):
Yeah, yeah, season two.
We're going to have this better.
We're transitioning and if youare listening to this last
episode of season one, you canhear Chris right now.
Chris is the one that snatchesme up, edits me cute, and so
normally you hear me introducethe guest.
(00:58):
And so today you are going tomeet this lovely cutie with a
dog.
You are going to meet thislovely cutie with a dog, the
lovely editor on the other side,please introduce yourself how
you would like to be introducedto the world.
Speaker 1 (01:14):
Hi, I'm Chris.
Speaker 2 (01:18):
Now, you shy Now you shy.
Speaker 1 (01:19):
What's going on y'all ?
I just laughed at myselfbecause you touched the mic and
I had like an editor response.
But you know, when you see thisin the future, chris, deal with
it.
But I'm doing well as can bewith the world on fire.
Speaker 2 (01:38):
Yes, yes, she lit.
We're going to get through it.
So this is the last episode ofseason one.
Speaker 1 (01:52):
We did that.
We did that.
Speaker 2 (01:54):
We did it.
I just wanted to say thank youfor jumping in to a journey of
my heart and my brain with meand, if you are listening, we're
just going to do a quick, andwhen I say quick, we don't who
knows this is actually going tobe quick, because we long winded
sometimes when we get together,so get ready.
(02:16):
But this is a little past,present, future conversation.
So the past Trauma Queen hasexisted for quite some time.
I started Trauma Queen in 2018.
And this is a reiteration ofTrauma Queen.
This is Trauma Queen presentsthe trauma within and the past.
It was focused around traumasurvivors, specifically sexual
(02:37):
assault, and it came backbecause my dad died last year.
It came back because my dad diedlast year and I needed to find
something to get me out of myhead and to get me back into my
heart.
And I said, oh, I really lovepodcasting and I really love
talking to my friends, and Iknew that trauma existed in many
(03:01):
spaces and many spaces existedthat people didn't think about
and I needed a podcast editorbecause mama can't do that and I
didn't want a new job and therewas this lovely human that
everyone was raving about and Isaid, well, you know, let me
talk to this little cutie overhere with a booty.
(03:22):
And they said, absolutely.
And I said, oh, that was easierthan I thought and you came
into my life and it is one ofthe best gifts.
You are one of the best giftsthat I got this year.
So thank you for coming andjumping into it with your brain,
and we're going to be doingsome amazing things in the
future that y'all are notprepared for.
(03:43):
So that is the past and so thepresent.
We get to have some really funconversations this year.
We really got to have someconversations this year in ways
that we got to talk and laugh.
There were conversations thatwe were like wait, what happened
?
Do you remember anyconversations that kind of
(04:06):
popped up for you?
I know this is on the spot.
Speaker 1 (04:09):
Not specifically, but what I always say is I always
have an emotional reaction whenI'm editing, so it always turns
either from a kiki to a cry to,like you know, investigating.
Shout out to Claire, becausewhen I say you, I did some
Googles in the first few weeksof doing this podcast, because
sometimes you think you knowpeople, you think you know
(04:29):
trauma or what that even means.
But it's been so redefined thisseason, I feel like, with just
me as an editor.
I can only imagine what theaudience has been getting.
But yeah, it's just thisemotional feeling of like, and
that's the only reason I take oncertain jobs.
And like edit is because I getthis feeling right.
Like we're talking about thepast.
Like when you called and yousaid like hey, I have this idea
(04:50):
and I want to do this.
And I was like, listen, I cantalk my way out of anything.
So I was like, yes, I'm all forit, honey.
And then behind the scenes, Iwas like, well, let's figure out
something how to make this workjob, because it's got to be
cute.
(05:12):
I can't be like selling on thisrandom reputation that I have
because people say I'm great orwhatever.
I just think that I like doingthe work and I like making sure
that things are cute.
I feel like that's my littleOCD thing, like that can't be
explained in school.
I like making it look good.
I like making people sound good.
They explained in school.
It's like I like making it lookgood.
I might like making peoplesound good like I'm the most
weird, awkward person in person.
But like gosh, this experiencethis last year has been really
(05:34):
eye-opening, especially withlike you coming into my life and
like I re found a love for likewrestling through this podcast
and like this experience andjust like listening to people.
Sometimes it's good to justlisten to other people's stories
, even when you're going throughit, like to hear the way that
trauma is framed on this show is.
It's very different.
(05:54):
It's not trauma porn.
It's more so like girlfriends,them friends, boyfriends just
sitting around and just kickingin and talking about like what
happened and how we're betterfor it or how we're not.
Sometimes we're just not okay.
Speaker 2 (06:13):
Yeah, I think the thing that I really got to take
away from this is I choseeveryone on this show.
People reach out like I thinkI'd be great on your show and
I'm like you haven't listened atall, because everyone is
someone that is in my life insome capacity.
They are either close friendsMost of these people are close
(06:35):
friends or friend adjacent butthey have like a connection to
me, um, or someone that I'vereally really admire, that I'm
like, oh my gosh, thank you somuch for being open to being in
conversation, like like Jade,like like XD.
That became closer, you know,because of you or whomever.
(06:55):
And now, like I'm like thesepeople are like I kiki with them
all the time.
Speaker 1 (07:01):
Behind the scenes BTS .
So before Jay's episode,because me and Jay go way back,
y'all know, if y'all knowanything about me, I used to
edit for them.
So Jay called me and was likenow who is?
this Jemineka and I need to knowabout her and this podcast.
He was just so curious at firstand then afterwards she called
(07:21):
and talked to us for like 20-30minutes and was just like
ranting.
Oh my gosh, she's amazing.
We just sat, called and talkedto us for like 20, 30 minutes
and was just like ranting.
It was like, oh my gosh, she'samazing.
We just sat here and talked.
It was so easy.
We have a process.
So I was.
I just that's a testament tolike the interview process.
Even when it's not like a close, close friend or somebody that
you're meeting, it's your energyI got.
I feel like that's whattranslates through each episode,
(07:42):
I think that energy of likethat welcome energy, that home
energy that people can feel athome and open up, like those are
things that I experience aslike an editor or like a behind
the scenes friend, and I'm justlike, yeah, like talk to her,
You'll get your life right.
You know what I mean.
Like that's how theconversation went.
Speaker 2 (08:01):
Yeah, and I think that that is a gift that I am so
thankful to have, because we dohave hard conversations.
I let people pick their topics.
I think that's also important,too, for autonomy for folks when
we're having these deep talks.
And you brought up wrestling.
Wrestling is something that youand I have in common and for us
(08:23):
growing up as children littleblack kids that like wrestling.
Let's pull it back.
Wrestling wasn't necessarilyfor us little black kids.
Talk about it in a few weeks youknow and to have a whole month
(08:46):
of just wrestling conversationsand having women focused on
wrestling conversations andsafety.
I think for us to have thattogether and to like have those
moments, that was important forus.
Speaker 1 (09:00):
Yeah, like some people don't realize.
Like we have kind of approachedthis like was wrestling, like
we talked about it like it wasbooking at first, like how can
we make things pop with thepeople that we have?
And then I remember earlier inthe year when the he who Shall
Not Be Named had allegations andthings come out.
You know, we went into likecrisis mode and like safety.
(09:21):
And so, like crisis mode andlike safety, like we had a few
episodes and we had some thingswe lined up so that, you know,
women, boys, thems, theys canlike go and have a resource,
almost Like that was a really onthe fly thing.
Speaker 2 (09:33):
Black History Month.
Speaker 1 (09:34):
It was black over here it was booked to be black.
Like these are intentions,right, and with a lot of
podcasts that I've worked with,ain't no intention.
Like they come through the doorand they're like I just want to
talk, or let's talk aboutBeyonce, and it's like, you know
, september, leading up to allin a W, like there was a, there
was a thought process, was whyeach episode and the way things
(09:56):
were laid out, there's likethere's something, there's
something special about that.
I would say like there's not alot of connection in that way
that you see with other podcasts, at least from my experience.
I worked on the Spotify BigGirls and then I worked on it's
(10:18):
Me and a Friend.
Speaker 2 (10:20):
You know what?
Speaker 1 (10:20):
I mean, and those are the best experiences, because
those are the times where youfigure out why don't I think
about this like wrestling?
Why don't I think aboutpodcasts like something I can
relate to?
Speaker 2 (10:29):
right, yeah, yeah, and I guess for any genre or any
creator out there like go forsomething out of the box.
Speaker 1 (10:36):
If you're a Star Wars girly, then act like this is
Andromeda 6.
I don't know, is that the thing?
But I don't know.
I don't know, I don't know, butyou know.
Like, make it whatever it is,like sometimes.
Speaker 2 (10:50):
I live my life as a reality show.
Speaker 1 (10:51):
Like, literally, me and Chris talk about like life,
like we're on a reality show.
I will turn to the fourthcamera.
Break the wall like go into aconfessional.
That's just somehow at timeshow I have to process, so it's
good thinking outside the boxwith this project.
It's been like refreshing.
Speaker 2 (11:06):
I think it's super important also the ways that we
have navigated the show withintentionality that is something
you brought up is we wanted ashow about trauma to also be a
safe space for people to consumethis information.
We wanted it to be educational.
We wanted it to be honest.
Um, it isn't a fluff show Likeit.
(11:26):
It wasn't like let's coddlepeople.
There's laughter, there'scursing, there's positives,
there's negatives.
It isn't like a there's a wave,like sure, we wanted people to
be set up.
There is a wave in thebeginning, but there might not
always be a happy ending,because life isn't always happy.
Which takes me to we was goingthrough our own shit during this
(11:47):
goddamn show.
Speaker 1 (11:49):
Okay, honey, let's talk about it.
Okay, like I don't know howpersonal we're going to get, but
like I was going through,Through.
Through.
For those who don't know, don'tfollow me on Instagram or
anything like that I suffered arelapse at the beginning of the
summer, a full-on.
(12:10):
He was out at 7, 11, at 6 inthe morning drinking with the
dolls that type of relapse andit wasn't until A.
I told you, I told my familyand it really started to show in
(12:30):
the work ethic that I had.
Like it really started to showwhen episodes came in, like
three minutes before nineo'clock or you know what I mean.
There's like there's a problemwith this and I'm not focused.
Like it bled into other parts ofmy life and I think that's it
was a huge red flag for me, likecoming out of my darkness, of
like this is something pure.
This is something that I meanit's boiled down to the simplest
process.
I would spill the tea on thatprocess but I won't.
(12:51):
But it is boiled down to whereI can do my job in my sleep and
Jim can just slide me,everything.
It's just built that way and atthe time it was not, it was
chaos.
I'm not finishing things and Isay all that to say that
sometimes your light and yourdark, like shadowy moments, has
(13:12):
to come from feeling normal,right, like that's kind of what
I told you at the time like thisproduct going back to like
figuring out how to be theeditor I'm supposed to be,
returned me back to like the manI was supposed to be, right,
like the adult takingresponsibility, not lying or
like hiding anything.
And a lot of that does comefrom, like projects like this,
(13:35):
where you're like, well, I careabout this a little more and I
care about you know, continuingthis facade right.
And, of course, there are, likeall these external factors
because, uh, she going throughit again, but it's not that, but
like she's going through likelife again.
And I feel like I have thissupport system from this show,
from other aspects of my lifethat have happened this summer.
Like that I have the supportsystem.
(13:57):
I need to continue to keepgoing.
You know and that's notsomething you can always say.
I know you could talk to this,but not something you could
always say.
Caring for other people, youknow what?
Speaker 2 (14:07):
I mean yeah, I went through three breakups during
this damn show.
Three, two, two.
I did One.
I did not choose One thatsmacked me out the blue, but all
of them are real, not all ofthem.
One of them was like two ofthem are really hard and you
(14:29):
know, I am still very muchpicking myself up and still very
much, still going through grief.
And for those that like don'tknow, I do have a lot of jobs,
mom, fix your face, I do have alot of jobs.
You, you know, I do work at aprofessional wrestling company
Y'all know who and the day Istarted that job my dad died and
(14:53):
so I have been working throughand working through and I will
be taking a break next week.
So this is why this also is thelast episode of the season,
because I will be taking a 10day, maybe a little bit longer,
two week vacation off the grid.
She will be gone in recoveryfor herself.
(15:15):
But you know we have beenpushing through and, if you will
also notice, I batch recorded alot of these episodes.
So as you watch, if you are avisual person, you will see I
have a lot of differenthairstyles.
Speaker 1 (15:28):
Let me tell you something.
The other day I was goingthrough the library and I was
like mama has had hairstyles allup and through here Like people
wouldn't know, but like yeah.
Speaker 2 (15:42):
But if you are looking at the visuals, I have
had blue hair hair, green hair,no hair, big hair, braids,
sometimes all in the same month.
It's just like honey, um, butwe have navigated and we have
shown up and done the things andyou know, what it also shows is
promise within us, and it isreal and it shows up in so many
(16:06):
ways.
And please stop telling peoplethat they are so resilient,
because whew.
Speaker 1 (16:13):
Can we be?
Speaker 2 (16:14):
honest about it.
Let's have a little bit.
Yes, I don't want to beresilient.
Speaker 1 (16:18):
Because I'm tired of certain things being said OK,
I'm a girlie that just wentthrough rehab.
I'm tired of one day at a time,ok, maybe I being said okay,
I'm a girly that just went torehab.
I'm tired of one day at a timeokay, maybe I need to think 48
hours ahead.
I don't know, I maybe that'sjust not healthy, but everybody
telling me one day at a time wasnot the tea.
Everybody told me I'm soresistant and bold because I'm
black and I'm walking instarbucks like you don't have a
(16:39):
choice.
I'm me.
You know what I mean.
Yeah, that resilient and oneday at a time has gotten me
together.
This summer I learned that Idon't have to accept every
platitude right Like, yes, ofcourse, one day at a time.
Of course I'm a bold, black,beautiful, whatever, walking
amongst white people.
But at the same time, what'sthe options?
(17:00):
What are the other options?
Tell me, in today's age.
Speaker 2 (17:04):
What's the other options?
Tell me, in today's age, what'sthe bold part?
Speaker 1 (17:06):
I don't never know Like is bold.
Is because I'm here, Is becauseI crossed the Mason-Dixon line.
Speaker 2 (17:11):
Where are you going?
What is the Shut up?
Speaker 1 (17:15):
What is the boldness if I'm just sitting here?
Speaker 2 (17:17):
I'm like from Chicago Well that is resilience.
Speaker 1 (17:21):
T Listen.
Speaker 2 (17:25):
I heard the stories.
Speaker 1 (17:28):
I can either confirm or deny here we go.
Speaker 2 (17:32):
Don't let me get XD in here don't look.
Speaker 1 (17:37):
He has this crazy theory that I'm in a gang and I
just don't know where.
Speaker 2 (17:41):
I got that.
Don't let me get XD in herebecause I will.
Nothing but a text.
I'll have him come in the room.
Speaker 1 (17:48):
I grew up in the church.
Speaker 2 (17:50):
You did it.
Speaker 1 (17:53):
Chicago gets that rep too, like, oh you so strong?
Let me tell you something Iguess I'm from Chicago, but I
grew up in suburbs.
Sweetie, I learned how to fightjust by fighting, not
necessarily because I was insome type of gang warfare.
Sometimes you just go in thewrong, you know, bark out the
wrong tree Words like resilienceand bold I do like.
(18:14):
Beautiful, hello.
You know I don't like tall,dark and lovely either.
There's something about that.
I've gotten that a lot here inLA.
Speaker 2 (18:26):
Are you a boxer perm?
Are you a relaxer?
Speaker 1 (18:28):
Exactly I was like am I dark and lovely?
Am I Keisha Cole in front ofthat box?
Stop it, I'm just not built forcomedy.
Speaker 2 (18:35):
Frankie.
Speaker 1 (18:37):
Yeah, I'll be Frankie , I'll be you know what?
Speaker 2 (18:41):
Because you know who.
That made me think of Iyanla,who should have never had a show
.
Speaker 1 (18:48):
No, that destroyed Black people's mental health.
Speaker 2 (18:51):
You know, that's not her name.
Speaker 1 (18:53):
Wasn't it Rhonda or something?
Speaker 2 (18:55):
Yes, Don't you have a regular name, rhonda?
Speaker 1 (18:57):
Yes, and she act like a Rhonda.
Speaker 2 (19:01):
Don't she.
Speaker 1 (19:03):
Mm-hmm, that's Iyanla Putting people's face in the
dirt.
You know she was given thatname.
Speaker 2 (19:09):
You know what we getting off.
She was given that name by aNigerian tribe and I said oh,
Make it, make sense it madesense, didn't it Right there?
Speaker 1 (19:24):
I just still am pissed that she never helped the
braxton's so until she's toobusy hollering.
Yeah, it was like you're notgiving up oh, speaking of bad
therapy, oh, can we just talkspeaking of bad therapist?
do you remember dr sherry fromthe reality shows?
Shout out to dr sherry.
Dr sherry used to try witheverybody and it never worked.
So I hear we start giving youreal advice.
(19:46):
The first episode then, like asthey got in further and they
messed with the Braxton, she wasjust like oh girls, just fight
at this point, just throw hands.
You know, yeah, so shout out toDr Shearer.
That was really random.
Speaker 2 (19:58):
I'm not giving her a shout out.
Speaker 1 (20:02):
I'm not doing that I'm not doing that.
Speaker 2 (20:04):
Here's what happens, you know what I will give a
shout out to.
The only person I will give ashout out to is Betty Ford, my
therapist, because Betty showsup.
Speaker 1 (20:13):
I love Betty Ford no, it's B-E-T-T-Y-E that's what
I'm saying not a historicalhealer Okay.
Speaker 2 (20:21):
She's Black.
Speaker 1 (20:22):
No, that's even better.
Speaker 2 (20:25):
Shout out to Betty.
She gathers me and gets metogether.
I had therapy this past weekafter that the failure of
America.
Speaker 1 (20:38):
Is this the time for that?
Is this my time to go off?
We're in the present yeah, weare in the present we're in the
present on the list.
Speaker 2 (20:47):
the list says past, present, future.
We're in the present, um, so inthe present, and we're still
talking about season one, um,we're talking about trauma, the
trauma within.
The trauma within is in thepresent.
How I was Season one wasmagical and honestly, I am so
(21:10):
thankful that we did do seasonone together.
I'm so thankful that season oneexisted.
I learned a lot about my guests.
I learned a lot about myfriends.
Literally every episode I wentwait, what?
I didn't know that about you,what, what?
Speaker 1 (21:25):
Huh, you think you know about people and then you
really get this story.
Speaker 2 (21:29):
I learned something new about every person.
Speaker 1 (21:35):
Yeah, even friends that I've known for years.
Speaker 2 (21:37):
I said tell me more.
I think what I truly learnedthrough every episode is how
thankful I am that these peopletrust me and what a gift it is
to be in these spaces witheveryone, and that, truly, we be
going through.
We be going through, I be goingthrough, you be going through.
(22:01):
Resilience is a word that wefind annoying.
Healing is a word that peoplethrow around.
Speaker 1 (22:12):
You know what another word is Journey.
Maybe I'm just going through it, but maybe it's not a journey,
maybe it's a trip, maybe it's a,you know, a flight.
Sure you can say journey to me,if it's not, um, oh dang, I
forgot the journey song no,white people all mix up to me.
(22:33):
It's not Bruce Priest healingdon't stop believing it doesn't
journey.
Speaker 2 (22:38):
Sing that, yeah, and if it's not, don't stop
believing.
Speaker 1 (22:40):
I don't want to hear about believing it.
Doesn't Journey, sing that,yeah.
And if it's not, don't stopbelieving it.
I don't want to hear about ajourney, okay, that was the joke
.
Speaker 2 (22:43):
I was trying to make I hate you.
I feel like you know I talkabout this in everything that I
do.
I feel like people put healingon this platform and it annoys
me Because I think if the peopleput it on this platform and
people fail at it because it'sunrealistic, they're like have
you healed?
And then they drop their voiceto this annoying tone Are you
(23:06):
healing?
Okay, Okay, Speaking of healing, now that we're here, we're in
the present.
If I see anybody walk up to meone of those blue bracelets on,
Don't even.
Don't do it.
Speaker 1 (23:21):
I don't want to see a blue bracelet.
I'm not protesting, I'm notmarching.
I'm not going to put on yourlittle let's fight back shirts.
I'm not doing it Because y'allhad your opportunity and we just
don't deal with it.
We're going to hold eachother's hands, but not y'all
hands.
No, you people with the bluebracelets, no.
Speaker 2 (23:41):
The trauma within it doesn't include a bracelet.
No, it's not a Taylor Swiftconcert.
I just need y'all to know it'snot a Taylor Swift concert.
And what I also really, Ireally want let me get close to
this mic what I really want youall to understand that I am a
mental health provider, but thatis not the top of my list.
(24:03):
I am a black woman much higherat the top of the list first.
And I get get close to get realclose, as I am as close to this
mic.
I am a black woman, higher atthe top of the list First.
Mental health provider is a lotlower.
Okay, I just, I just really, Ijust really want y'all all to
(24:31):
know that the work doesn't stop.
It doesn't stop.
I saw today that in Iran, theyare trying to change the age of
marrying to seven or nine.
That's crazy.
There are so many things thatare traumatic that we are going
to be having to navigate, solet's get prepared.
(24:52):
So if you want to be angry,let's be angry.
The trauma doesn't stop and wewill be navigating.
We don't know what the what, ifis, but also community is
important right now.
So lean into community,whatever that is, if you are a
part of the homomos.
Lean in to get you some homomocommunities.
Speaker 1 (25:15):
And your community, a community that services you.
Because not all homomos arebuilt the same.
Not all black people are kin,so choose your child.
Speaker 2 (25:26):
Because all skin folk is not what.
Speaker 1 (25:29):
Skin folk.
Speaker 2 (25:30):
It's not.
We didn't all I'm just.
Speaker 1 (25:34):
Okay, and that's real tea.
Especially now we're likelooking at the numbers.
Speaker 2 (25:38):
I'm not going to West Hollywood with you.
Speaker 1 (25:39):
No, looking at the numbers, I'm not going to West
Hollywood with you.
No, I'm done.
Speaker 2 (25:42):
I'm not going to the Abbey because it's dangerous.
Can we also have thatconversation?
Speaker 1 (25:47):
Here we did.
I'm not going.
No, I work at a health center.
Please I don't even know ifthat's a separate conversation,
but please stop going to theAbbey, stop going to places that
y'all do not trust and that donot have your best interest at
heart.
If you go to trunks everyweekend and you getting sick,
(26:08):
there is a reason.
Okay, you are not in communitywith everybody that is around
you and everybody does not haveyour best interest at heart.
Okay, I don't know if I'mtalking to a seven-year-old or
17-year-old, mind yourself,because the world is not always
here to hold your hand.
Sometimes the world has got,you know, the knife behind their
(26:29):
back.
Speaker 2 (26:29):
Ill intentions.
Speaker 1 (26:31):
Ill intentions and a place like Abbey who is and I'm
not going to even put it on theestablishment as much as I'm
going to put it on the culturethat's fostered there, the
people that are around there,and just all up and down West
Hollywood.
I used to work at a healthcenter, a community health
center.
It was like this is a thing.
(26:52):
We have to go hand out fentanyltest strips.
We are going out in thecommunity and trying to help,
but at the same time there's somany people you encounter that
aren't even paying attention totheir own drinks.
They're not paying attention totheir own lives.
They're in a situation wherethey're around some real racist
people that are trying to hurtthem, but because they're drunk,
they don't know that this is asituation they're in.
(27:13):
So please mind yourself aroundthese community spaces.
Speaker 2 (27:17):
And even community centers.
Speaker 1 (27:19):
I just had a situation with a community
center where I was not incommunity, I was not being held
to the standard of what I expect.
You know gays, lesbians, trans,everybody to have me and it
just turned into I need to leavethe situation.
Do they do great work?
Absolutely.
Will I be supporting them inthe future?
Absolutely, but the culture ofcommunity was not right.
Speaker 2 (27:47):
And sometimes that's what you got to watch out for,
and so I know we are all overthe place, but the focus is
still.
It still is.
The reminder of trauma is allaround us and we can experience
it in so many spaces.
And so I hope that, as you havelistened to all of these
different episodes and you lookat the titles, you get to
experience so many differentpeople that you're like, oh, I
seen this person and you listento their story and you're like,
(28:08):
oh, I never thought this was athing, I never experienced this.
The reason you see so manydifferent types of people
although these are people that Itruly care for and experience
them.
You hear conversations.
You never thought you will heara righteous reg, who maybe you
love wrestling, maybe you hearhim talk about hip hop, but you
will also hear him talk aboutmental health and being a black
(28:33):
man and being someone that likesemo music and wrestling and
also talk about mental health.
He's like if, if, havingfeelings and stuff if that's gay
, then call me gay Like that'simportant.
You need to hear that, right.
Like you hear RJ, you've beenwatching wrestling, you watch AW
(28:53):
, you watch those things.
Right, you hear a Sean Ross app.
Speaker 1 (28:55):
I know all y'all know what a fightful is right, like
you, you see these people.
Speaker 2 (29:02):
And then you see people you've never heard of.
Or, if you were into sex ed,you know who a dirty Lola is.
Check your HBO, baby.
You know, like you see thesepeople, you listen to them, hear
other sides of them, you learnfrom them, and so I'm so
thankful.
Go ahead.
Speaker 1 (29:20):
And some of the magic is seeing them differently
afterwards.
Right, I subscribe to Fightful.
Fightful is like my wrestlingnews I didn't know half that
about Sean Ross Sapp right, andto get the journey even, or like
the technicalities and even thethings that Fightful goes
through, that was a really good,like eye-opening moment.
(29:41):
I'm like oh, I know, sean Ross,I don't even have to edit this
really closely.
And it was like no, this is astory, righteous Ridge.
I follow him now on Twitterjust because what I took from it
was I like the wrestlingknowledge, I like that side of
his brain and so I follow that.
Claire, certain people I justthink Claire is sickening you,
claire.
Some people I just think Claireis sickening.
You know the red hair andeverything.
I'm just like, yes, but yeah,looking at them differently
(30:06):
afterwards is totally like agood experience, especially
people like you know podcasterslistening out there, like JNXD
and Takiyah those episodes.
I've known those people forover 10 years, like I'm
practically married to one ofthem and I still heard things
that I didn't never know and wetalked about it, we communed
with things like that Anotherword that I want to and that and
(30:27):
holding space, but we'll getthere in another episode.
Oh my gosh.
Yeah, like that's all I have tosay about that.
Like looking at themdifferently afterwards is a
blessing as well.
Speaker 2 (30:39):
Yeah, and that that is one of the goals that I want
to continue doing in the future.
I want to continue creatingspaces where you can go oh, you
know this person, and you walkaway like I didn't know none of
that.
Well, jimenica, hold on now,because I've seen them do 20
interviews and I didn't knownone of that yeah, and they
still get pieces of you eachtime they get a little piece of
(31:02):
you each interview.
Speaker 1 (31:04):
That's important.
Speaker 2 (31:05):
Yeah, and so the future of Trauma, Queen, the
trauma within you know 2025.
2025.
Blessed be Good Lord.
Speaker 1 (31:22):
Well, can I say what I want?
Or is this like a wish list forthe future, if you?
Speaker 2 (31:26):
want to do a wish list, go ahead.
Speaker 1 (31:28):
Because I'm ready for us to do some specials we want
to make money.
Oh, first of all, first andforemost, if anybody is out
there.
Speaker 2 (31:37):
Let's make some wishes Today's 11-11.
Speaker 1 (31:40):
Oh yeah, I wish that.
Can we say wishes out loud?
Speaker 2 (31:44):
We can today.
Speaker 1 (31:46):
I wish that in season two we find funding and a
platform that will take us far,far into the future.
Speaker 2 (31:54):
And respects us.
Speaker 1 (31:57):
And our values and everything else.
And the coin is correct.
Don't be trying to downsize usjust because we little and we
you know a minority podcast girl.
Pause, pause the positivemoment.
I used to have a podcast and Itried to sell it to spotify.
Long story short I might begenerous.
But um, yeah, and when I tellthey said we don't have any more
(32:21):
room for our minority podcastright now, and I was like how
did y'all even know, because wewere all audio at the time.
So I was like y'all justassumed we was black.
Speaker 2 (32:32):
They said no, nigs.
Speaker 1 (32:33):
They said we ain't got no more funding for y'all.
Okay, this is right before.
Like DEI came along.
Well, DEI's out, oh she's gone.
Speaker 2 (32:43):
She only had the four years, I've never heard E-I-D.
Speaker 1 (32:47):
I've never, don't you people love working?
Why would you need?
Speaker 2 (32:51):
special.
Speaker 1 (32:53):
You've seen them?
Speaker 2 (32:53):
text messages Wait, pause, okay, sorry, future,
we're coming back to you.
Speaker 1 (33:00):
That's it Pause can I say something controversial
though?
When don't you?
Because I was like I told Christhe other day, I was like I,
hmm, I'm kind of pressed.
I didn't get one.
You know, sometimes when peoplebe racist they don't include
you.
You'd be like cause you got theresponse right, I didn't get
(33:20):
one.
Speaker 2 (33:20):
Cause they just won't find the right one.
But my cousins didn't, yeah,and they my therapist daughter
got when I said did you, was youready to Arthur fifth?
Speaker 1 (33:30):
okay, because to get a text message to say something
racist is one thing, but the waythat it was formatted to sound
like some type of executiveorder and was like oh, you've
been selected to pick cotton.
As a former troll, I just don'tget blessings like that.
You know what I'm saying,because I would have burned a
(33:51):
cup of it down, but y'all youknow.
Speaker 2 (33:59):
I didn't get no text messages the way I was getting
all those text messages aboutKamala.
Need my money.
Speaker 1 (34:06):
She's still texting me.
Listen, Silk Press.
Sis, I am still hoping you aredoing well and you are having
your being or your healing orwhatever, but stop texting me.
We got a whole space for youremail.
Okay, you have been wanting toask about your coin, honey, and
(34:26):
I had donated already.
I gave you the vote.
Oh my gosh.
One day I got like eight textmessages in one day from both.
Speaker 2 (34:34):
I got one from her.
Speaker 1 (34:35):
Barack.
When Barack texted me, I waslike now you didn't use the
number from 08.
I don't like this.
Is this still the 2012 list?
Because now you got my number.
Speaker 2 (34:47):
They are pulling them out, okay.
Speaker 1 (34:51):
Yeah, and then at the end I was getting them from he
who shall not be named.
And I was like now y'all justpicking numbers off the phone
books.
I know I ain't putting nonumbers on for you.
Speaker 2 (35:00):
You guys are playing in my face.
Speaker 1 (35:02):
Yeah, y'all are literally going down yellow
pages, if that exists, just likehere, oh my gosh.
Speaker 2 (35:11):
Okay, sorry.
Speaker 1 (35:13):
Back to our blessings .
Back to our blessings.
Speaker 2 (35:16):
Okay, go ahead.
Back to blessings.
Go ahead.
Speaker 1 (35:18):
But yes, that's a big blessing.
Funding, because people don'tknow, this comes out of pocket,
this comes out of love.
Speaker 2 (35:25):
It does come out of pocket.
Speaker 1 (35:27):
Yeah, and Chris gets paid Like this comes out of
pocket, this comes out of love.
It does come out of my pocket,yeah, and Chris gets paid.
Okay, chris gets paid on timeevery month.
Thank God, I do.
Speaker 2 (35:31):
I try to pay you early too.
Speaker 1 (35:33):
She pays early.
Oh my gosh.
There have been times where shehas paid like a few days early
when I've had my brokers, andthat's when you know, and that's
just blessing of people havingyour back, like it's never been
nothing like that.
We hope for the future, like wedon't gotta worry about that at
all, like funding, and theother thing I really want to put
(35:55):
out in the the manifesting isanother word.
This is just gonna be called aword.
The words.
Speaker 2 (36:01):
We hate the episode we can do that listen we gonna
revisit that.
Speaker 1 (36:06):
That's cute.
Cute manifesting, though, likeis us being on more like
specials and being able toservice more communities,
especially going into like thisweird time or whatever we're
about to go through, likethere's some survivors, voices
that need to be heard.
There are some people dealingwith, like alcoholism and things
like that that we could reallybe touching and using the same
(36:29):
trauma within filter to reallybring these things to you know,
light and actually make I don'tknow, I don't say make light
because I hate we do that toobut, like you know, just like,
make it palatable so I canunderstand as a regular, regular
person.
Um, and traveling, I don't knowI want us to do trauma within
Japan or something.
(36:50):
You know what I mean Recordinglive from Canada, and if
Canadians y'all mad because Ijust said Canada, take it up
with me in Toronto in two weeksat Survivor Series.
Speaker 2 (37:02):
Why are you trying to do that?
Them people don't pay me.
You don't pay me.
It's not them people don't payme.
You don't pay me.
It's not them.
They don't pay me.
That is not TK.
Speaker 1 (37:13):
No, no, no, no.
Wrong place of business.
Speaker 2 (37:18):
TK.
I don't even know him.
You know that's crazy yeah.
Speaker 1 (37:24):
But all that to be said, yeah, like just expansion
is on my mind especially lately,with me having a bunch of free
time coded for unemployed.
I'm about to be really puttingmy first foot forward.
Speaker 2 (37:42):
I have been talking about a specific type of photo
shoot slash video project that Ireally want to do in 2025,
inspired by a company that don'tpay me.
But you know, it's beensomething you and I have talked
(38:05):
about for a while and I thinkthat will be really beautiful
for sexual assault survivors.
That was the originality ofthis and that is the backbone of
my work and I really want to dothat to you.
I'm like here you go, Now yougot some free time.
(38:30):
Go stalk these people, Get inthese people's business, Woo
them.
I love it.
Let's get some of these peopleout here.
Maybe they could.
You know, let's woo them.
Maybe they could find us somecoins too, you know.
Speaker 1 (38:45):
Okay, Hello, the connection hey girl.
Speaker 2 (38:48):
Hey Gabrielle, hey Gabs and Nim, you and your
husband, how are y'all doing?
Speaker 1 (38:55):
Oh, are you talking about the union?
Speaker 2 (38:58):
So we could get unioned.
You see me, you see how I'mlike Aubrey, good girlfriend.
Speaker 1 (39:07):
Hey, I always was on your side, queen.
Okay, Come tell your story.
Speaker 2 (39:12):
Obbs.
You know you and I was justdoing Obbs.
Can I call you Obbs?
Obbs is a thing.
Speaker 1 (39:20):
I don't know.
She seemed like a Brie girl.
Okay, brie, brie, brie, evenyou, brie, a Brie girl.
Speaker 2 (39:26):
Okay, brie, brie, brie, yes Even you Brie, other
Brie with twin.
Speaker 1 (39:32):
you know you come on, that's an issue.
Speaker 2 (39:36):
Listen, there's room here at our table and it doesn't
have to be red.
You see what I did there, oh oh.
You see what I did there.
Speaker 1 (39:45):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (40:03):
Listen, you know what else.
Speaker 1 (40:03):
I would like A live area.
Speaker 2 (40:04):
You know where someone else funds it.
Yes, you know, we're justspeaking.
I mean, we're speaking into theuniverse here.
That's what else.
I would like someone to fund mea live arena space.
Um, you know this.
I would like to continueexpanding and figuring out.
I touched it.
I apologize.
Uh, I'm so sorry.
Um, you know I'm I'm excited tosee what this brings us.
I am thankful to this space.
(40:26):
This has really helped me toget out of my head back into my
heart and feel grounded, and Ido think that this has allowed
me to get out of some of mygrief, because that grief was
really holding your girl down.
Okay, she was down and out, andso I think it has allowed me to
(40:49):
go to where I'm about to go inthese next 10 days, which is to
be left the fuck alone.
Speaker 1 (40:56):
You said before we started recording you just want
people to stop talking to youand I just feel that in my
chandelier.
I just want 10 days wherenobody speaks to me.
Speaker 2 (41:05):
Yeah, I mean, that is my job.
Well, I'm about to go tomorrowon a plane and go help some more
people, but also, I love what Ido, like I really do.
I love what I do.
I am so thankful to go andtravel.
I love working with wrestlers.
It is so cool to me Like myfriends are like I'm gonna say
(41:27):
the word you hate.
My friends are like youmanifested the shit out of this
job.
I did I.
I.
I manifested, but no, I workedmy ass off to be here.
Speaker 1 (41:38):
Right, okay.
Speaker 2 (41:40):
I've been in school for a very long time.
I didn't just wake up one dayand was like here's this job.
No, I worked my ass off longtime.
I didn't just wake up one dayand was like here's this job.
No, I worked my ass off.
I've worked many hours runningmental health facilities with
teenagers getting cussed out,chasing children, helping
children, saving lives.
Okay, I don't know about you.
I know you people don'tunderstand, but I've had
(42:01):
children try to kill themselvesin my arms and do all these
things that you will all neverunderstand and I hope you never
have to.
I have taken tests, literaltests.
I have medical books behind mefor alternative medicine.
I've grinded and done all thethings and I get to travel and
sit with these people that I'veseen on television.
And now I'm sorry if y'all hearthis y'all so boring, y'all so
(42:27):
regular and I love that.
I love that I'm in the back andwe all regular.
I'm like, look at y'all littlegym.
I'm like y'all so nerdy, comeon, come on.
Let's go talk Y'all so cute.
Come on, get your glasses, comeon.
Speaker 1 (42:41):
And I love that.
Speaker 2 (42:42):
Come on, I love that and I think that is a gift that
these individuals.
It took a while, it took mesome time, but they trust me to
hold this space for them and theenergy and their secrets and
that is a gift.
But I'm also thankful thatsomebody is giving me their
space to go and nobody couldtalk to me.
(43:03):
And I'm going to go meditateand do this training because I'm
still going to learn for threatassessment Because, as we said,
this future we don't know whatit's about to look like.
It's going to have some moretrauma in it because it's
outside.
Yeah, what do you want in yourfuture for yourself?
Speaker 1 (43:22):
I honestly want a three piece from Pope Popeye's
Ooh spicy.
My system is so weak I can'thandle no spicy Quitter, but
like for like life goals andthings.
I'm about to be on a newjourney, a completely new
journey, because I quit my joblast Friday.
(43:44):
Because I quit my job lastFriday.
So you know, we're about toexplore being a creative full
time, which is terrifying.
What kind of creative.
Do we know yet, With clothes on, hopefully, and just you know,
off my mirror.
Well, like half on.
Speaker 2 (44:06):
Is that what we just I was like, do you know?
Yet Are we still navigating?
Speaker 1 (44:08):
I actually don't know , I think I'm about to move into
the personal trainer space.
Oh, okay, yeah, I think I'mgoing to go full fitness, just
because it's fun being a thirsttrap or whatever, but that seems
draining.
It is.
Speaker 2 (44:25):
Let's be honest.
Speaker 1 (44:30):
It seems draining, sis, and it seems draining.
Let me tell you something aboutthirst trappers.
Okay, it is so much work to sitthere and take pictures of
yourself and you think that islike not a thing.
But imagine me having to wakeup and choose like the underwear
I put on the skin I have on,like the I I have to shave.
I don't like it.
Speaker 2 (44:48):
You gotta hit angle.
Speaker 1 (44:49):
I'm judging myself all day.
Oh, because y'all think there'ssomething.
Anyway, because it's veryeffective.
I just look really good inunderwear, you know.
But yeah, thirst trapping iscute, but I think I want to go
more into the fitness.
I've been going intobodybuilding on my own body
(45:11):
lately and just the switch fromlike oh, I work out and do
whatever to like no, she's upeating broccoli and chicken and
working out three, four times aday.
I bought a curl bar and Ibought my own weights.
This is ridiculous.
Where is it at?
Why is this five feet for me atall times.
(45:35):
I've become a gym gym nigga.
I mean, I've just become a gymgym guy.
You go edit that out, because Idon't know Anyway.
I'm a gym gym guy now and I sawI think personal training in
2025 you're gonna do like acertification program instead
yeah, I want to be legit, I wantto do um some nutrition classes
(45:58):
it won't be at the.
It'll probably be second halfof 2025, first half, I'm gonna,
you know.
Return to me and figure outwhat that means.
Like yeah, also like this oh,you just wanted to flex on the
camera.
You're disgusting.
Return to me and figure outwhat that means.
Speaker 2 (46:09):
Also this you just wanted to flex on the camera.
You're disgusting, you'redisgusting, you're annoying.
Speaker 1 (46:16):
This is gross.
Speaker 2 (46:19):
Gem knows.
Speaker 1 (46:19):
I'm the biggest troll Gross.
What do you want for yourfuture?
Speaker 2 (46:25):
Peace and quiet.
No, you know what?
I am currently in my own spaceof relearning me.
This is the first time in avery long time which my
therapist reminded me that I amunattached from anyone from
(46:58):
anyone, and I haven't beensingle and unattached since 2018
.
Oh, yeah, you're about torediscover you, sweetie, and,
like you know, it's been likeeven like smaller things but,
there's always somebody that'strying to be attached to this
kind of blessing honey, um, andright now I'm I am completely
unattached, and so and I'm alsopracticing sobriety right now,
(47:21):
including I am includingcannabis.
Speaker 1 (47:25):
Not me, but yes.
Speaker 2 (47:29):
You went to go high five, I was ready to give it.
Speaker 1 (47:34):
I support that yeah.
Speaker 2 (47:37):
Yeah, so I am practicing full sobriety and
cleansing everything and so itis a full cleansing body thing
and it is very interesting.
But also because, for myself,when James Eborn left us, she
(47:59):
dove deep and she was a dabberas a you know, deep dabs I was,
you know, and still functioningis, you know, because she is an
intelligent girl, you know blackand brilliant let's use that
word Brilliant Capital B.
Speaker 1 (48:15):
Yeah, start using other words.
Speaker 2 (48:16):
Brilliant is cute, thank you, and so she thrives,
brilliant, all the things, butit was dabbing, so, you know,
coming out of all of that it is,you know, learning, evolving
and expanding and getting backto me, and so I am relearning
parts of myself and sitting andit is a thing.
(48:37):
So that is where I'm at, inrelearning the things and
reconnecting and learning whoJimenica is.
So y'all thought she was abitch before honey.
Speaker 1 (48:53):
Buckle up.
That's how I feel about 2025.
It's like, once I get thislittle time, to like rest.
Speaker 2 (48:58):
Oh, and I'm about to get my booty back.
Okay, because I haven't been inthe gym in a minute.
Okay, because she was going andso I have dropped weight and I,
so I'm, I'm dropping a littleweight and then I'm about to get
my my muscle back.
I just want y'all to knowyou're not be able to, y'all not
going to be able to, take meand Chris.
Speaker 1 (49:19):
Let me tell you something.
Speaker 2 (49:20):
Y'all are going to be so sick of us.
Speaker 1 (49:23):
Y'all going to hate us 2025 summer.
Speaker 2 (49:26):
Let me tell you something.
Speaker 1 (49:30):
Personal note I wore a thong to the gym the other day
because I was feeling all thetime.
Speaker 2 (49:33):
Did you hear Chris talk about this damn thong it?
Speaker 1 (49:37):
was so liberating.
I see why the dogs do it.
Listen, wear your thong, wearyour jock, whatever makes you
feel comfortable.
Don't leave it in the lockerroom because that's nasty,
especially at LA Fitness onsunset.
But other than that, just makesure I know there's a queen that
listens to this.
I hope they do, the confidencethat's about to come with it.
(50:00):
Just a little rest and reset.
That's all I need is a littlerest and reset.
Nobody talked to me for 10 days.
Speaker 2 (50:07):
Yeah, I'm excited.
Speaker 1 (50:09):
I asked you so much when you said that I cannot wait
.
Let's get you to that.
Speaker 2 (50:14):
I know Everyone's like, so when are you leaving?
Who are you?
Speaker 1 (50:17):
I just want to hear the stories when you come back.
It was just silence.
It was so good.
Speaker 2 (50:22):
Yeah, people are like , oh, you're going to go explore
and I said, no, I'll probablygo get some massages, maybe go
to sit, be left alone, and ifthere's an emergency, I know
there's people if I need it.
But you can call if there's anemergency, but besides that,
don't talk to me, yeah, meeither, and I'm going to be at
(50:46):
the house.
Speaker 1 (50:46):
Don't call, don't text me.
I'm gonna be at the house thenext 10 days.
Don't call me, don't call me oh, we did it.
Speaker 2 (50:55):
Yeah, we did it.
So thank y'all for listening.
Now you know who's behind thescene over here.
And season 2 we'll see y'all in2025.
We're gonna have some guests.
We're gonna have some guests.
It's gonna be magical.
And season two We'll see y'allin 2025.
We're going to have some guests.
We're going to have some guests.
It's going to be magical.
It's going to be some peopleyou know and it's going to be
some people you've never heardof, and that's okay, and it's
(51:18):
still going to be some traumawithin.
It's going to be stories andjourneys and I'm excited and
we're going to have projects.
Speaker 1 (51:27):
Yes, we're going to be working 2025.
Speaker 2 (51:30):
When are we?
Speaker 1 (51:31):
not Okay, that's what I was going to say.
We both keep 12.
We're laughing to keep fromcrying.
Speaker 2 (51:40):
Okay, bye y'all.
Until next time, bye y'all.
Hello and welcome to the last episode of season one.
If you are here, welcome,welcome, like subscribe.
What do the girls say Likesubscribe?
What else they say?
Chris, because we're going todo better in season two.
Speaker 1 (00:31):
Yes, like comment subscribe.
You hit me on the Insta.
Speaker 2 (00:35):
Yeah, yeah, season two.
We're going to have this better.
We're transitioning and if youare listening to this last
episode of season one, you canhear Chris right now.
Chris is the one that snatchesme up, edits me cute, and so
normally you hear me introducethe guest.
(00:58):
And so today you are going tomeet this lovely cutie with a
dog.
You are going to meet thislovely cutie with a dog, the
lovely editor on the other side,please introduce yourself how
you would like to be introducedto the world.
Speaker 1 (01:14):
Hi, I'm Chris.
Speaker 2 (01:18):
Now, you shy Now you shy.
Speaker 1 (01:19):
What's going on y'all ?
I just laughed at myselfbecause you touched the mic and
I had like an editor response.
But you know, when you see thisin the future, chris, deal with
it.
But I'm doing well as can bewith the world on fire.
Speaker 2 (01:38):
Yes, yes, she lit.
We're going to get through it.
So this is the last episode ofseason one.
Speaker 1 (01:52):
We did that.
We did that.
Speaker 2 (01:54):
We did it.
I just wanted to say thank youfor jumping in to a journey of
my heart and my brain with meand, if you are listening, we're
just going to do a quick, andwhen I say quick, we don't who
knows this is actually going tobe quick, because we long winded
sometimes when we get together,so get ready.
(02:16):
But this is a little past,present, future conversation.
So the past Trauma Queen hasexisted for quite some time.
I started Trauma Queen in 2018.
And this is a reiteration ofTrauma Queen.
This is Trauma Queen presentsthe trauma within and the past.
It was focused around traumasurvivors, specifically sexual
(02:37):
assault, and it came backbecause my dad died last year.
It came back because my dad diedlast year and I needed to find
something to get me out of myhead and to get me back into my
heart.
And I said, oh, I really lovepodcasting and I really love
talking to my friends, and Iknew that trauma existed in many
(03:01):
spaces and many spaces existedthat people didn't think about
and I needed a podcast editorbecause mama can't do that and I
didn't want a new job and therewas this lovely human that
everyone was raving about and Isaid, well, you know, let me
talk to this little cutie overhere with a booty.
(03:22):
And they said, absolutely.
And I said, oh, that was easierthan I thought and you came
into my life and it is one ofthe best gifts.
You are one of the best giftsthat I got this year.
So thank you for coming andjumping into it with your brain,
and we're going to be doingsome amazing things in the
future that y'all are notprepared for.
(03:43):
So that is the past and so thepresent.
We get to have some really funconversations this year.
We really got to have someconversations this year in ways
that we got to talk and laugh.
There were conversations thatwe were like wait, what happened
?
Do you remember anyconversations that kind of
(04:06):
popped up for you?
I know this is on the spot.
Speaker 1 (04:09):
Not specifically, but what I always say is I always
have an emotional reaction whenI'm editing, so it always turns
either from a kiki to a cry to,like you know, investigating.
Shout out to Claire, becausewhen I say you, I did some
Googles in the first few weeksof doing this podcast, because
sometimes you think you knowpeople, you think you know
(04:29):
trauma or what that even means.
But it's been so redefined thisseason, I feel like, with just
me as an editor.
I can only imagine what theaudience has been getting.
But yeah, it's just thisemotional feeling of like, and
that's the only reason I take oncertain jobs.
And like edit is because I getthis feeling right.
Like we're talking about thepast.
Like when you called and yousaid like hey, I have this idea
(04:50):
and I want to do this.
And I was like, listen, I cantalk my way out of anything.
So I was like, yes, I'm all forit, honey.
And then behind the scenes, Iwas like, well, let's figure out
something how to make this workjob, because it's got to be
cute.
(05:12):
I can't be like selling on thisrandom reputation that I have
because people say I'm great orwhatever.
I just think that I like doingthe work and I like making sure
that things are cute.
I feel like that's my littleOCD thing, like that can't be
explained in school.
I like making it look good.
I like making people sound good.
They explained in school.
It's like I like making it lookgood.
I might like making peoplesound good like I'm the most
weird, awkward person in person.
But like gosh, this experiencethis last year has been really
(05:34):
eye-opening, especially withlike you coming into my life and
like I re found a love for likewrestling through this podcast
and like this experience andjust like listening to people.
Sometimes it's good to justlisten to other people's stories
, even when you're going throughit, like to hear the way that
trauma is framed on this show is.
It's very different.
(05:54):
It's not trauma porn.
It's more so like girlfriends,them friends, boyfriends just
sitting around and just kickingin and talking about like what
happened and how we're betterfor it or how we're not.
Sometimes we're just not okay.
Speaker 2 (06:13):
Yeah, I think the thing that I really got to take
away from this is I choseeveryone on this show.
People reach out like I thinkI'd be great on your show and
I'm like you haven't listened atall, because everyone is
someone that is in my life insome capacity.
They are either close friendsMost of these people are close
(06:35):
friends or friend adjacent butthey have like a connection to
me, um, or someone that I'vereally really admire, that I'm
like, oh my gosh, thank you somuch for being open to being in
conversation, like like Jade,like like XD.
That became closer, you know,because of you or whomever.
(06:55):
And now, like I'm like thesepeople are like I kiki with them
all the time.
Speaker 1 (07:01):
Behind the scenes BTS .
So before Jay's episode,because me and Jay go way back,
y'all know, if y'all knowanything about me, I used to
edit for them.
So Jay called me and was likenow who is?
this Jemineka and I need to knowabout her and this podcast.
He was just so curious at firstand then afterwards she called
(07:21):
and talked to us for like 20-30minutes and was just like
ranting.
Oh my gosh, she's amazing.
We just sat, called and talkedto us for like 20, 30 minutes
and was just like ranting.
It was like, oh my gosh, she'samazing.
We just sat here and talked.
It was so easy.
We have a process.
So I was.
I just that's a testament tolike the interview process.
Even when it's not like a close, close friend or somebody that
you're meeting, it's your energyI got.
I feel like that's whattranslates through each episode,
(07:42):
I think that energy of likethat welcome energy, that home
energy that people can feel athome and open up, like those are
things that I experience aslike an editor or like a behind
the scenes friend, and I'm justlike, yeah, like talk to her,
You'll get your life right.
You know what I mean.
Like that's how theconversation went.
Speaker 2 (08:01):
Yeah, and I think that that is a gift that I am so
thankful to have, because we dohave hard conversations.
I let people pick their topics.
I think that's also important,too, for autonomy for folks when
we're having these deep talks.
And you brought up wrestling.
Wrestling is something that youand I have in common and for us
(08:23):
growing up as children littleblack kids that like wrestling.
Let's pull it back.
Wrestling wasn't necessarilyfor us little black kids.
Talk about it in a few weeks youknow and to have a whole month
(08:46):
of just wrestling conversationsand having women focused on
wrestling conversations andsafety.
I think for us to have thattogether and to like have those
moments, that was important forus.
Speaker 1 (09:00):
Yeah, like some people don't realize.
Like we have kind of approachedthis like was wrestling, like
we talked about it like it wasbooking at first, like how can
we make things pop with thepeople that we have?
And then I remember earlier inthe year when the he who Shall
Not Be Named had allegations andthings come out.
You know, we went into likecrisis mode and like safety.
(09:21):
And so, like crisis mode andlike safety, like we had a few
episodes and we had some thingswe lined up so that, you know,
women, boys, thems, theys canlike go and have a resource,
almost Like that was a really onthe fly thing.
Speaker 2 (09:33):
Black History Month.
Speaker 1 (09:34):
It was black over here it was booked to be black.
Like these are intentions,right, and with a lot of
podcasts that I've worked with,ain't no intention.
Like they come through the doorand they're like I just want to
talk, or let's talk aboutBeyonce, and it's like, you know
, september, leading up to allin a W, like there was a, there
was a thought process, was whyeach episode and the way things
(09:56):
were laid out, there's likethere's something, there's
something special about that.
I would say like there's not alot of connection in that way
that you see with other podcasts, at least from my experience.
I worked on the Spotify BigGirls and then I worked on it's
(10:18):
Me and a Friend.
Speaker 2 (10:20):
You know what?
Speaker 1 (10:20):
I mean, and those are the best experiences, because
those are the times where youfigure out why don't I think
about this like wrestling?
Why don't I think aboutpodcasts like something I can
relate to?
Speaker 2 (10:29):
right, yeah, yeah, and I guess for any genre or any
creator out there like go forsomething out of the box.
Speaker 1 (10:36):
If you're a Star Wars girly, then act like this is
Andromeda 6.
I don't know, is that the thing?
But I don't know.
I don't know, I don't know, butyou know.
Like, make it whatever it is,like sometimes.
Speaker 2 (10:50):
I live my life as a reality show.
Speaker 1 (10:51):
Like, literally, me and Chris talk about like life,
like we're on a reality show.
I will turn to the fourthcamera.
Break the wall like go into aconfessional.
That's just somehow at timeshow I have to process, so it's
good thinking outside the boxwith this project.
It's been like refreshing.
Speaker 2 (11:06):
I think it's super important also the ways that we
have navigated the show withintentionality that is something
you brought up is we wanted ashow about trauma to also be a
safe space for people to consumethis information.
We wanted it to be educational.
We wanted it to be honest.
Um, it isn't a fluff show Likeit.
(11:26):
It wasn't like let's coddlepeople.
There's laughter, there'scursing, there's positives,
there's negatives.
It isn't like a there's a wave,like sure, we wanted people to
be set up.
There is a wave in thebeginning, but there might not
always be a happy ending,because life isn't always happy.
Which takes me to we was goingthrough our own shit during this
(11:47):
goddamn show.
Speaker 1 (11:49):
Okay, honey, let's talk about it.
Okay, like I don't know howpersonal we're going to get, but
like I was going through,Through.
Through.
For those who don't know, don'tfollow me on Instagram or
anything like that I suffered arelapse at the beginning of the
summer, a full-on.
(12:10):
He was out at 7, 11, at 6 inthe morning drinking with the
dolls that type of relapse andit wasn't until A.
I told you, I told my familyand it really started to show in
(12:30):
the work ethic that I had.
Like it really started to showwhen episodes came in, like
three minutes before nineo'clock or you know what I mean.
There's like there's a problemwith this and I'm not focused.
Like it bled into other parts ofmy life and I think that's it
was a huge red flag for me, likecoming out of my darkness, of
like this is something pure.
This is something that I meanit's boiled down to the simplest
process.
I would spill the tea on thatprocess but I won't.
(12:51):
But it is boiled down to whereI can do my job in my sleep and
Jim can just slide me,everything.
It's just built that way and atthe time it was not, it was
chaos.
I'm not finishing things and Isay all that to say that
sometimes your light and yourdark, like shadowy moments, has
(13:12):
to come from feeling normal,right, like that's kind of what
I told you at the time like thisproduct going back to like
figuring out how to be theeditor I'm supposed to be,
returned me back to like the manI was supposed to be, right,
like the adult takingresponsibility, not lying or
like hiding anything.
And a lot of that does comefrom, like projects like this,
(13:35):
where you're like, well, I careabout this a little more and I
care about you know, continuingthis facade right.
And, of course, there are, likeall these external factors
because, uh, she going throughit again, but it's not that, but
like she's going through likelife again.
And I feel like I have thissupport system from this show,
from other aspects of my lifethat have happened this summer.
Like that I have the supportsystem.
(13:57):
I need to continue to keepgoing.
You know and that's notsomething you can always say.
I know you could talk to this,but not something you could
always say.
Caring for other people, youknow what?
Speaker 2 (14:07):
I mean yeah, I went through three breakups during
this damn show.
Three, two, two.
I did One.
I did not choose One thatsmacked me out the blue, but all
of them are real, not all ofthem.
One of them was like two ofthem are really hard and you
(14:29):
know, I am still very muchpicking myself up and still very
much, still going through grief.
And for those that like don'tknow, I do have a lot of jobs,
mom, fix your face, I do have alot of jobs.
You, you know, I do work at aprofessional wrestling company
Y'all know who and the day Istarted that job my dad died and
(14:53):
so I have been working throughand working through and I will
be taking a break next week.
So this is why this also is thelast episode of the season,
because I will be taking a 10day, maybe a little bit longer,
two week vacation off the grid.
She will be gone in recoveryfor herself.
(15:15):
But you know we have beenpushing through and, if you will
also notice, I batch recorded alot of these episodes.
So as you watch, if you are avisual person, you will see I
have a lot of differenthairstyles.
Speaker 1 (15:28):
Let me tell you something.
The other day I was goingthrough the library and I was
like mama has had hairstyles allup and through here Like people
wouldn't know, but like yeah.
Speaker 2 (15:42):
But if you are looking at the visuals, I have
had blue hair hair, green hair,no hair, big hair, braids,
sometimes all in the same month.
It's just like honey, um, butwe have navigated and we have
shown up and done the things andyou know, what it also shows is
promise within us, and it isreal and it shows up in so many
(16:06):
ways.
And please stop telling peoplethat they are so resilient,
because whew.
Speaker 1 (16:13):
Can we be?
Speaker 2 (16:14):
honest about it.
Let's have a little bit.
Yes, I don't want to beresilient.
Speaker 1 (16:18):
Because I'm tired of certain things being said OK,
I'm a girlie that just wentthrough rehab.
I'm tired of one day at a time,ok, maybe I being said okay,
I'm a girly that just went torehab.
I'm tired of one day at a timeokay, maybe I need to think 48
hours ahead.
I don't know, I maybe that'sjust not healthy, but everybody
telling me one day at a time wasnot the tea.
Everybody told me I'm soresistant and bold because I'm
black and I'm walking instarbucks like you don't have a
(16:39):
choice.
I'm me.
You know what I mean.
Yeah, that resilient and oneday at a time has gotten me
together.
This summer I learned that Idon't have to accept every
platitude right Like, yes, ofcourse, one day at a time.
Of course I'm a bold, black,beautiful, whatever, walking
amongst white people.
But at the same time, what'sthe options?
(17:00):
What are the other options?
Tell me, in today's age.
Speaker 2 (17:04):
What's the other options?
Tell me, in today's age, what'sthe bold part?
Speaker 1 (17:06):
I don't never know Like is bold.
Is because I'm here, Is becauseI crossed the Mason-Dixon line.
Speaker 2 (17:11):
Where are you going?
What is the Shut up?
Speaker 1 (17:15):
What is the boldness if I'm just sitting here?
Speaker 2 (17:17):
I'm like from Chicago Well that is resilience.
Speaker 1 (17:21):
T Listen.
Speaker 2 (17:25):
I heard the stories.
Speaker 1 (17:28):
I can either confirm or deny here we go.
Speaker 2 (17:32):
Don't let me get XD in here don't look.
Speaker 1 (17:37):
He has this crazy theory that I'm in a gang and I
just don't know where.
Speaker 2 (17:41):
I got that.
Don't let me get XD in herebecause I will.
Nothing but a text.
I'll have him come in the room.
Speaker 1 (17:48):
I grew up in the church.
Speaker 2 (17:50):
You did it.
Speaker 1 (17:53):
Chicago gets that rep too, like, oh you so strong?
Let me tell you something Iguess I'm from Chicago, but I
grew up in suburbs.
Sweetie, I learned how to fightjust by fighting, not
necessarily because I was insome type of gang warfare.
Sometimes you just go in thewrong, you know, bark out the
wrong tree Words like resilienceand bold I do like.
(18:14):
Beautiful, hello.
You know I don't like tall,dark and lovely either.
There's something about that.
I've gotten that a lot here inLA.
Speaker 2 (18:26):
Are you a boxer perm?
Are you a relaxer?
Speaker 1 (18:28):
Exactly I was like am I dark and lovely?
Am I Keisha Cole in front ofthat box?
Stop it, I'm just not built forcomedy.
Speaker 2 (18:35):
Frankie.
Speaker 1 (18:37):
Yeah, I'll be Frankie , I'll be you know what?
Speaker 2 (18:41):
Because you know who.
That made me think of Iyanla,who should have never had a show
.
Speaker 1 (18:48):
No, that destroyed Black people's mental health.
Speaker 2 (18:51):
You know, that's not her name.
Speaker 1 (18:53):
Wasn't it Rhonda or something?
Speaker 2 (18:55):
Yes, Don't you have a regular name, rhonda?
Speaker 1 (18:57):
Yes, and she act like a Rhonda.
Speaker 2 (19:01):
Don't she.
Speaker 1 (19:03):
Mm-hmm, that's Iyanla Putting people's face in the
dirt.
You know she was given thatname.
Speaker 2 (19:09):
You know what we getting off.
She was given that name by aNigerian tribe and I said oh,
Make it, make sense it madesense, didn't it Right there?
Speaker 1 (19:24):
I just still am pissed that she never helped the
braxton's so until she's toobusy hollering.
Yeah, it was like you're notgiving up oh, speaking of bad
therapy, oh, can we just talkspeaking of bad therapist?
do you remember dr sherry fromthe reality shows?
Shout out to dr sherry.
Dr sherry used to try witheverybody and it never worked.
So I hear we start giving youreal advice.
(19:46):
The first episode then, like asthey got in further and they
messed with the Braxton, she wasjust like oh girls, just fight
at this point, just throw hands.
You know, yeah, so shout out toDr Shearer.
That was really random.
Speaker 2 (19:58):
I'm not giving her a shout out.
Speaker 1 (20:02):
I'm not doing that I'm not doing that.
Speaker 2 (20:04):
Here's what happens, you know what I will give a
shout out to.
The only person I will give ashout out to is Betty Ford, my
therapist, because Betty showsup.
Speaker 1 (20:13):
I love Betty Ford no, it's B-E-T-T-Y-E that's what
I'm saying not a historicalhealer Okay.
Speaker 2 (20:21):
She's Black.
Speaker 1 (20:22):
No, that's even better.
Speaker 2 (20:25):
Shout out to Betty.
She gathers me and gets metogether.
I had therapy this past weekafter that the failure of
America.
Speaker 1 (20:38):
Is this the time for that?
Is this my time to go off?
We're in the present yeah, weare in the present we're in the
present on the list.
Speaker 2 (20:47):
the list says past, present, future.
We're in the present, um, so inthe present, and we're still
talking about season one, um,we're talking about trauma, the
trauma within.
The trauma within is in thepresent.
How I was Season one wasmagical and honestly, I am so
(21:10):
thankful that we did do seasonone together.
I'm so thankful that season oneexisted.
I learned a lot about my guests.
I learned a lot about myfriends.
Literally every episode I wentwait, what?
I didn't know that about you,what, what?
Speaker 1 (21:25):
Huh, you think you know about people and then you
really get this story.
Speaker 2 (21:29):
I learned something new about every person.
Speaker 1 (21:35):
Yeah, even friends that I've known for years.
Speaker 2 (21:37):
I said tell me more.
I think what I truly learnedthrough every episode is how
thankful I am that these peopletrust me and what a gift it is
to be in these spaces witheveryone, and that, truly, we be
going through.
We be going through, I be goingthrough, you be going through.
(22:01):
Resilience is a word that wefind annoying.
Healing is a word that peoplethrow around.
Speaker 1 (22:12):
You know what another word is Journey.
Maybe I'm just going through it, but maybe it's not a journey,
maybe it's a trip, maybe it's a,you know, a flight.
Sure you can say journey to me,if it's not, um, oh dang, I
forgot the journey song no,white people all mix up to me.
(22:33):
It's not Bruce Priest healingdon't stop believing it doesn't
journey.
Speaker 2 (22:38):
Sing that, yeah, and if it's not, don't stop
believing.
Speaker 1 (22:40):
I don't want to hear about believing it.
Doesn't Journey, sing that,yeah.
And if it's not, don't stopbelieving it.
I don't want to hear about ajourney, okay, that was the joke
.
Speaker 2 (22:43):
I was trying to make I hate you.
I feel like you know I talkabout this in everything that I
do.
I feel like people put healingon this platform and it annoys
me Because I think if the peopleput it on this platform and
people fail at it because it'sunrealistic, they're like have
you healed?
And then they drop their voiceto this annoying tone Are you
(23:06):
healing?
Okay, Okay, Speaking of healing, now that we're here, we're in
the present.
If I see anybody walk up to meone of those blue bracelets on,
Don't even.
Don't do it.
Speaker 1 (23:21):
I don't want to see a blue bracelet.
I'm not protesting, I'm notmarching.
I'm not going to put on yourlittle let's fight back shirts.
I'm not doing it Because y'allhad your opportunity and we just
don't deal with it.
We're going to hold eachother's hands, but not y'all
hands.
No, you people with the bluebracelets, no.
Speaker 2 (23:41):
The trauma within it doesn't include a bracelet.
No, it's not a Taylor Swiftconcert.
I just need y'all to know it'snot a Taylor Swift concert.
And what I also really, Ireally want let me get close to
this mic what I really want youall to understand that I am a
mental health provider, but thatis not the top of my list.
(24:03):
I am a black woman much higherat the top of the list first.
And I get get close to get realclose, as I am as close to this
mic.
I am a black woman, higher atthe top of the list First.
Mental health provider is a lotlower.
Okay, I just, I just really, Ijust really want y'all all to
(24:31):
know that the work doesn't stop.
It doesn't stop.
I saw today that in Iran, theyare trying to change the age of
marrying to seven or nine.
That's crazy.
There are so many things thatare traumatic that we are going
to be having to navigate, solet's get prepared.
(24:52):
So if you want to be angry,let's be angry.
The trauma doesn't stop and wewill be navigating.
We don't know what the what, ifis, but also community is
important right now.
So lean into community,whatever that is, if you are a
part of the homomos.
Lean in to get you some homomocommunities.
Speaker 1 (25:15):
And your community, a community that services you.
Because not all homomos arebuilt the same.
Not all black people are kin,so choose your child.
Speaker 2 (25:26):
Because all skin folk is not what.
Speaker 1 (25:29):
Skin folk.
Speaker 2 (25:30):
It's not.
We didn't all I'm just.
Speaker 1 (25:34):
Okay, and that's real tea.
Especially now we're likelooking at the numbers.
Speaker 2 (25:38):
I'm not going to West Hollywood with you.
Speaker 1 (25:39):
No, looking at the numbers, I'm not going to West
Hollywood with you.
No, I'm done.
Speaker 2 (25:42):
I'm not going to the Abbey because it's dangerous.
Can we also have thatconversation?
Speaker 1 (25:47):
Here we did.
I'm not going.
No, I work at a health center.
Please I don't even know ifthat's a separate conversation,
but please stop going to theAbbey, stop going to places that
y'all do not trust and that donot have your best interest at
heart.
If you go to trunks everyweekend and you getting sick,
(26:08):
there is a reason.
Okay, you are not in communitywith everybody that is around
you and everybody does not haveyour best interest at heart.
Okay, I don't know if I'mtalking to a seven-year-old or
17-year-old, mind yourself,because the world is not always
here to hold your hand.
Sometimes the world has got,you know, the knife behind their
(26:29):
back.
Speaker 2 (26:29):
Ill intentions.
Speaker 1 (26:31):
Ill intentions and a place like Abbey who is and I'm
not going to even put it on theestablishment as much as I'm
going to put it on the culturethat's fostered there, the
people that are around there,and just all up and down West
Hollywood.
I used to work at a healthcenter, a community health
center.
It was like this is a thing.
(26:52):
We have to go hand out fentanyltest strips.
We are going out in thecommunity and trying to help,
but at the same time there's somany people you encounter that
aren't even paying attention totheir own drinks.
They're not paying attention totheir own lives.
They're in a situation wherethey're around some real racist
people that are trying to hurtthem, but because they're drunk,
they don't know that this is asituation they're in.
(27:13):
So please mind yourself aroundthese community spaces.
Speaker 2 (27:17):
And even community centers.
Speaker 1 (27:19):
I just had a situation with a community
center where I was not incommunity, I was not being held
to the standard of what I expect.
You know gays, lesbians, trans,everybody to have me and it
just turned into I need to leavethe situation.
Do they do great work?
Absolutely.
Will I be supporting them inthe future?
Absolutely, but the culture ofcommunity was not right.
Speaker 2 (27:47):
And sometimes that's what you got to watch out for,
and so I know we are all overthe place, but the focus is
still.
It still is.
The reminder of trauma is allaround us and we can experience
it in so many spaces.
And so I hope that, as you havelistened to all of these
different episodes and you lookat the titles, you get to
experience so many differentpeople that you're like, oh, I
seen this person and you listento their story and you're like,
(28:08):
oh, I never thought this was athing, I never experienced this.
The reason you see so manydifferent types of people
although these are people that Itruly care for and experience
them.
You hear conversations.
You never thought you will heara righteous reg, who maybe you
love wrestling, maybe you hearhim talk about hip hop, but you
will also hear him talk aboutmental health and being a black
(28:33):
man and being someone that likesemo music and wrestling and
also talk about mental health.
He's like if, if, havingfeelings and stuff if that's gay
, then call me gay Like that'simportant.
You need to hear that, right.
Like you hear RJ, you've beenwatching wrestling, you watch AW
(28:53):
, you watch those things.
Right, you hear a Sean Ross app.
Speaker 1 (28:55):
I know all y'all know what a fightful is right, like
you, you see these people.
Speaker 2 (29:02):
And then you see people you've never heard of.
Or, if you were into sex ed,you know who a dirty Lola is.
Check your HBO, baby.
You know, like you see thesepeople, you listen to them, hear
other sides of them, you learnfrom them, and so I'm so
thankful.
Go ahead.
Speaker 1 (29:20):
And some of the magic is seeing them differently
afterwards.
Right, I subscribe to Fightful.
Fightful is like my wrestlingnews I didn't know half that
about Sean Ross Sapp right, andto get the journey even, or like
the technicalities and even thethings that Fightful goes
through, that was a really good,like eye-opening moment.
(29:41):
I'm like oh, I know, sean Ross,I don't even have to edit this
really closely.
And it was like no, this is astory, righteous Ridge.
I follow him now on Twitterjust because what I took from it
was I like the wrestlingknowledge, I like that side of
his brain and so I follow that.
Claire, certain people I justthink Claire is sickening you,
claire.
Some people I just think Claireis sickening.
You know the red hair andeverything.
I'm just like, yes, but yeah,looking at them differently
(30:06):
afterwards is totally like agood experience, especially
people like you know podcasterslistening out there, like JNXD
and Takiyah those episodes.
I've known those people forover 10 years, like I'm
practically married to one ofthem and I still heard things
that I didn't never know and wetalked about it, we communed
with things like that Anotherword that I want to and that and
(30:27):
holding space, but we'll getthere in another episode.
Oh my gosh.
Yeah, like that's all I have tosay about that.
Like looking at themdifferently afterwards is a
blessing as well.
Speaker 2 (30:39):
Yeah, and that that is one of the goals that I want
to continue doing in the future.
I want to continue creatingspaces where you can go oh, you
know this person, and you walkaway like I didn't know none of
that.
Well, jimenica, hold on now,because I've seen them do 20
interviews and I didn't knownone of that yeah, and they
still get pieces of you eachtime they get a little piece of
(31:02):
you each interview.
Speaker 1 (31:04):
That's important.
Speaker 2 (31:05):
Yeah, and so the future of Trauma, Queen, the
trauma within you know 2025.
2025.
Blessed be Good Lord.
Speaker 1 (31:22):
Well, can I say what I want?
Or is this like a wish list forthe future, if you?
Speaker 2 (31:26):
want to do a wish list, go ahead.
Speaker 1 (31:28):
Because I'm ready for us to do some specials we want
to make money.
Oh, first of all, first andforemost, if anybody is out
there.
Speaker 2 (31:37):
Let's make some wishes Today's 11-11.
Speaker 1 (31:40):
Oh yeah, I wish that.
Can we say wishes out loud?
Speaker 2 (31:44):
We can today.
Speaker 1 (31:46):
I wish that in season two we find funding and a
platform that will take us far,far into the future.
Speaker 2 (31:54):
And respects us.
Speaker 1 (31:57):
And our values and everything else.
And the coin is correct.
Don't be trying to downsize usjust because we little and we
you know a minority podcast girl.
Pause, pause the positivemoment.
I used to have a podcast and Itried to sell it to spotify.
Long story short I might begenerous.
But um, yeah, and when I tellthey said we don't have any more
(32:21):
room for our minority podcastright now, and I was like how
did y'all even know, because wewere all audio at the time.
So I was like y'all justassumed we was black.
Speaker 2 (32:32):
They said no, nigs.
Speaker 1 (32:33):
They said we ain't got no more funding for y'all.
Okay, this is right before.
Like DEI came along.
Well, DEI's out, oh she's gone.
Speaker 2 (32:43):
She only had the four years, I've never heard E-I-D.
Speaker 1 (32:47):
I've never, don't you people love working?
Why would you need?
Speaker 2 (32:51):
special.
Speaker 1 (32:53):
You've seen them?
Speaker 2 (32:53):
text messages Wait, pause, okay, sorry, future,
we're coming back to you.
Speaker 1 (33:00):
That's it Pause can I say something controversial
though?
When don't you?
Because I was like I told Christhe other day, I was like I,
hmm, I'm kind of pressed.
I didn't get one.
You know, sometimes when peoplebe racist they don't include
you.
You'd be like cause you got theresponse right, I didn't get
(33:20):
one.
Speaker 2 (33:20):
Cause they just won't find the right one.
But my cousins didn't, yeah,and they my therapist daughter
got when I said did you, was youready to Arthur fifth?
Speaker 1 (33:30):
okay, because to get a text message to say something
racist is one thing, but the waythat it was formatted to sound
like some type of executiveorder and was like oh, you've
been selected to pick cotton.
As a former troll, I just don'tget blessings like that.
You know what I'm saying,because I would have burned a
(33:51):
cup of it down, but y'all youknow.
Speaker 2 (33:59):
I didn't get no text messages the way I was getting
all those text messages aboutKamala.
Need my money.
Speaker 1 (34:06):
She's still texting me.
Listen, Silk Press.
Sis, I am still hoping you aredoing well and you are having
your being or your healing orwhatever, but stop texting me.
We got a whole space for youremail.
Okay, you have been wanting toask about your coin, honey, and
(34:26):
I had donated already.
I gave you the vote.
Oh my gosh.
One day I got like eight textmessages in one day from both.
Speaker 2 (34:34):
I got one from her.
Speaker 1 (34:35):
Barack.
When Barack texted me, I waslike now you didn't use the
number from 08.
I don't like this.
Is this still the 2012 list?
Because now you got my number.
Speaker 2 (34:47):
They are pulling them out, okay.
Speaker 1 (34:51):
Yeah, and then at the end I was getting them from he
who shall not be named.
And I was like now y'all justpicking numbers off the phone
books.
I know I ain't putting nonumbers on for you.
Speaker 2 (35:00):
You guys are playing in my face.
Speaker 1 (35:02):
Yeah, y'all are literally going down yellow
pages, if that exists, just likehere, oh my gosh.
Speaker 2 (35:11):
Okay, sorry.
Speaker 1 (35:13):
Back to our blessings .
Back to our blessings.
Speaker 2 (35:16):
Okay, go ahead.
Back to blessings.
Go ahead.
Speaker 1 (35:18):
But yes, that's a big blessing.
Funding, because people don'tknow, this comes out of pocket,
this comes out of love.
Speaker 2 (35:25):
It does come out of pocket.
Speaker 1 (35:27):
Yeah, and Chris gets paid Like this comes out of
pocket, this comes out of love.
It does come out of my pocket,yeah, and Chris gets paid.
Okay, chris gets paid on timeevery month.
Thank God, I do.
Speaker 2 (35:31):
I try to pay you early too.
Speaker 1 (35:33):
She pays early.
Oh my gosh.
There have been times where shehas paid like a few days early
when I've had my brokers, andthat's when you know, and that's
just blessing of people havingyour back, like it's never been
nothing like that.
We hope for the future, like wedon't gotta worry about that at
all, like funding, and theother thing I really want to put
(35:55):
out in the the manifesting isanother word.
This is just gonna be called aword.
The words.
Speaker 2 (36:01):
We hate the episode we can do that listen we gonna
revisit that.
Speaker 1 (36:06):
That's cute.
Cute manifesting, though, likeis us being on more like
specials and being able toservice more communities,
especially going into like thisweird time or whatever we're
about to go through, likethere's some survivors, voices
that need to be heard.
There are some people dealingwith, like alcoholism and things
like that that we could reallybe touching and using the same
(36:29):
trauma within filter to reallybring these things to you know,
light and actually make I don'tknow, I don't say make light
because I hate we do that toobut, like you know, just like,
make it palatable so I canunderstand as a regular, regular
person.
Um, and traveling, I don't knowI want us to do trauma within
Japan or something.
(36:50):
You know what I mean Recordinglive from Canada, and if
Canadians y'all mad because Ijust said Canada, take it up
with me in Toronto in two weeksat Survivor Series.
Speaker 2 (37:02):
Why are you trying to do that?
Them people don't pay me.
You don't pay me.
It's not them people don't payme.
You don't pay me.
It's not them.
They don't pay me.
That is not TK.
Speaker 1 (37:13):
No, no, no, no.
Wrong place of business.
Speaker 2 (37:18):
TK.
I don't even know him.
You know that's crazy yeah.
Speaker 1 (37:24):
But all that to be said, yeah, like just expansion
is on my mind especially lately,with me having a bunch of free
time coded for unemployed.
I'm about to be really puttingmy first foot forward.
Speaker 2 (37:42):
I have been talking about a specific type of photo
shoot slash video project that Ireally want to do in 2025,
inspired by a company that don'tpay me.
But you know, it's beensomething you and I have talked
(38:05):
about for a while and I thinkthat will be really beautiful
for sexual assault survivors.
That was the originality ofthis and that is the backbone of
my work and I really want to dothat to you.
I'm like here you go, Now yougot some free time.
(38:30):
Go stalk these people, Get inthese people's business, Woo
them.
I love it.
Let's get some of these peopleout here.
Maybe they could.
You know, let's woo them.
Maybe they could find us somecoins too, you know.
Speaker 1 (38:45):
Okay, Hello, the connection hey girl.
Speaker 2 (38:48):
Hey Gabrielle, hey Gabs and Nim, you and your
husband, how are y'all doing?
Speaker 1 (38:55):
Oh, are you talking about the union?
Speaker 2 (38:58):
So we could get unioned.
You see me, you see how I'mlike Aubrey, good girlfriend.
Speaker 1 (39:07):
Hey, I always was on your side, queen.
Okay, Come tell your story.
Speaker 2 (39:12):
Obbs.
You know you and I was justdoing Obbs.
Can I call you Obbs?
Obbs is a thing.
Speaker 1 (39:20):
I don't know.
She seemed like a Brie girl.
Okay, brie, brie, brie, evenyou, brie, a Brie girl.
Speaker 2 (39:26):
Okay, brie, brie, brie, yes Even you Brie, other
Brie with twin.
Speaker 1 (39:32):
you know you come on, that's an issue.
Speaker 2 (39:36):
Listen, there's room here at our table and it doesn't
have to be red.
You see what I did there, oh oh.
You see what I did there.
Speaker 1 (39:45):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (40:03):
Listen, you know what else.
Speaker 1 (40:03):
I would like A live area.
Speaker 2 (40:04):
You know where someone else funds it.
Yes, you know, we're justspeaking.
I mean, we're speaking into theuniverse here.
That's what else.
I would like someone to fund mea live arena space.
Um, you know this.
I would like to continueexpanding and figuring out.
I touched it.
I apologize.
Uh, I'm so sorry.
Um, you know I'm I'm excited tosee what this brings us.
I am thankful to this space.
(40:26):
This has really helped me toget out of my head back into my
heart and feel grounded, and Ido think that this has allowed
me to get out of some of mygrief, because that grief was
really holding your girl down.
Okay, she was down and out, andso I think it has allowed me to
(40:49):
go to where I'm about to go inthese next 10 days, which is to
be left the fuck alone.
Speaker 1 (40:56):
You said before we started recording you just want
people to stop talking to youand I just feel that in my
chandelier.
I just want 10 days wherenobody speaks to me.
Speaker 2 (41:05):
Yeah, I mean, that is my job.
Well, I'm about to go tomorrowon a plane and go help some more
people, but also, I love what Ido, like I really do.
I love what I do.
I am so thankful to go andtravel.
I love working with wrestlers.
It is so cool to me Like myfriends are like I'm gonna say
(41:27):
the word you hate.
My friends are like youmanifested the shit out of this
job.
I did I.
I.
I manifested, but no, I workedmy ass off to be here.
Speaker 1 (41:38):
Right, okay.
Speaker 2 (41:40):
I've been in school for a very long time.
I didn't just wake up one dayand was like here's this job.
No, I worked my ass off longtime.
I didn't just wake up one dayand was like here's this job.
No, I worked my ass off.
I've worked many hours runningmental health facilities with
teenagers getting cussed out,chasing children, helping
children, saving lives.
Okay, I don't know about you.
I know you people don'tunderstand, but I've had
(42:01):
children try to kill themselvesin my arms and do all these
things that you will all neverunderstand and I hope you never
have to.
I have taken tests, literaltests.
I have medical books behind mefor alternative medicine.
I've grinded and done all thethings and I get to travel and
sit with these people that I'veseen on television.
And now I'm sorry if y'all hearthis y'all so boring, y'all so
(42:27):
regular and I love that.
I love that I'm in the back andwe all regular.
I'm like, look at y'all littlegym.
I'm like y'all so nerdy, comeon, come on.
Let's go talk Y'all so cute.
Come on, get your glasses, comeon.
Speaker 1 (42:41):
And I love that.
Speaker 2 (42:42):
Come on, I love that and I think that is a gift that
these individuals.
It took a while, it took mesome time, but they trust me to
hold this space for them and theenergy and their secrets and
that is a gift.
But I'm also thankful thatsomebody is giving me their
space to go and nobody couldtalk to me.
(43:03):
And I'm going to go meditateand do this training because I'm
still going to learn for threatassessment Because, as we said,
this future we don't know whatit's about to look like.
It's going to have some moretrauma in it because it's
outside.
Yeah, what do you want in yourfuture for yourself?
Speaker 1 (43:22):
I honestly want a three piece from Pope Popeye's
Ooh spicy.
My system is so weak I can'thandle no spicy Quitter, but
like for like life goals andthings.
I'm about to be on a newjourney, a completely new
journey, because I quit my joblast Friday.
(43:44):
Because I quit my job lastFriday.
So you know, we're about toexplore being a creative full
time, which is terrifying.
What kind of creative.
Do we know yet, With clothes on, hopefully, and just you know,
off my mirror.
Well, like half on.
Speaker 2 (44:06):
Is that what we just I was like, do you know?
Yet Are we still navigating?
Speaker 1 (44:08):
I actually don't know , I think I'm about to move into
the personal trainer space.
Oh, okay, yeah, I think I'mgoing to go full fitness, just
because it's fun being a thirsttrap or whatever, but that seems
draining.
It is.
Speaker 2 (44:25):
Let's be honest.
Speaker 1 (44:30):
It seems draining, sis, and it seems draining.
Let me tell you something aboutthirst trappers.
Okay, it is so much work to sitthere and take pictures of
yourself and you think that islike not a thing.
But imagine me having to wakeup and choose like the underwear
I put on the skin I have on,like the I I have to shave.
I don't like it.
Speaker 2 (44:48):
You gotta hit angle.
Speaker 1 (44:49):
I'm judging myself all day.
Oh, because y'all think there'ssomething.
Anyway, because it's veryeffective.
I just look really good inunderwear, you know.
But yeah, thirst trapping iscute, but I think I want to go
more into the fitness.
I've been going intobodybuilding on my own body
(45:11):
lately and just the switch fromlike oh, I work out and do
whatever to like no, she's upeating broccoli and chicken and
working out three, four times aday.
I bought a curl bar and Ibought my own weights.
This is ridiculous.
Where is it at?
Why is this five feet for me atall times.
(45:35):
I've become a gym gym nigga.
I mean, I've just become a gymgym guy.
You go edit that out, because Idon't know Anyway.
I'm a gym gym guy now and I sawI think personal training in
2025 you're gonna do like acertification program instead
yeah, I want to be legit, I wantto do um some nutrition classes
(45:58):
it won't be at the.
It'll probably be second halfof 2025, first half, I'm gonna,
you know.
Return to me and figure outwhat that means.
Like yeah, also like this oh,you just wanted to flex on the
camera.
You're disgusting.
Return to me and figure outwhat that means.
Speaker 2 (46:09):
Also this you just wanted to flex on the camera.
You're disgusting, you'redisgusting, you're annoying.
Speaker 1 (46:16):
This is gross.
Speaker 2 (46:19):
Gem knows.
Speaker 1 (46:19):
I'm the biggest troll Gross.
What do you want for yourfuture?
Speaker 2 (46:25):
Peace and quiet.
No, you know what?
I am currently in my own spaceof relearning me.
This is the first time in avery long time which my
therapist reminded me that I amunattached from anyone from
(46:58):
anyone, and I haven't beensingle and unattached since 2018
.
Oh, yeah, you're about torediscover you, sweetie, and,
like you know, it's been likeeven like smaller things but,
there's always somebody that'strying to be attached to this
kind of blessing honey, um, andright now I'm I am completely
unattached, and so and I'm alsopracticing sobriety right now,
(47:21):
including I am includingcannabis.
Speaker 1 (47:25):
Not me, but yes.
Speaker 2 (47:29):
You went to go high five, I was ready to give it.
Speaker 1 (47:34):
I support that yeah.
Speaker 2 (47:37):
Yeah, so I am practicing full sobriety and
cleansing everything and so itis a full cleansing body thing
and it is very interesting.
But also because, for myself,when James Eborn left us, she
(47:59):
dove deep and she was a dabberas a you know, deep dabs I was,
you know, and still functioningis, you know, because she is an
intelligent girl, you know blackand brilliant let's use that
word Brilliant Capital B.
Speaker 1 (48:15):
Yeah, start using other words.
Speaker 2 (48:16):
Brilliant is cute, thank you, and so she thrives,
brilliant, all the things, butit was dabbing, so, you know,
coming out of all of that it is,you know, learning, evolving
and expanding and getting backto me, and so I am relearning
parts of myself and sitting andit is a thing.
(48:37):
So that is where I'm at, inrelearning the things and
reconnecting and learning whoJimenica is.
So y'all thought she was abitch before honey.
Speaker 1 (48:53):
Buckle up.
That's how I feel about 2025.
It's like, once I get thislittle time, to like rest.
Speaker 2 (48:58):
Oh, and I'm about to get my booty back.
Okay, because I haven't been inthe gym in a minute.
Okay, because she was going andso I have dropped weight and I,
so I'm, I'm dropping a littleweight and then I'm about to get
my my muscle back.
I just want y'all to knowyou're not be able to, y'all not
going to be able to, take meand Chris.
Speaker 1 (49:19):
Let me tell you something.
Speaker 2 (49:20):
Y'all are going to be so sick of us.
Speaker 1 (49:23):
Y'all going to hate us 2025 summer.
Speaker 2 (49:26):
Let me tell you something.
Speaker 1 (49:30):
Personal note I wore a thong to the gym the other day
because I was feeling all thetime.
Speaker 2 (49:33):
Did you hear Chris talk about this damn thong it?
Speaker 1 (49:37):
was so liberating.
I see why the dogs do it.
Listen, wear your thong, wearyour jock, whatever makes you
feel comfortable.
Don't leave it in the lockerroom because that's nasty,
especially at LA Fitness onsunset.
But other than that, just makesure I know there's a queen that
listens to this.
I hope they do, the confidencethat's about to come with it.
(50:00):
Just a little rest and reset.
That's all I need is a littlerest and reset.
Nobody talked to me for 10 days.
Speaker 2 (50:07):
Yeah, I'm excited.
Speaker 1 (50:09):
I asked you so much when you said that I cannot wait
.
Let's get you to that.
Speaker 2 (50:14):
I know Everyone's like, so when are you leaving?
Who are you?
Speaker 1 (50:17):
I just want to hear the stories when you come back.
It was just silence.
It was so good.
Speaker 2 (50:22):
Yeah, people are like , oh, you're going to go explore
and I said, no, I'll probablygo get some massages, maybe go
to sit, be left alone, and ifthere's an emergency, I know
there's people if I need it.
But you can call if there's anemergency, but besides that,
don't talk to me, yeah, meeither, and I'm going to be at
(50:46):
the house.
Speaker 1 (50:46):
Don't call, don't text me.
I'm gonna be at the house thenext 10 days.
Don't call me, don't call me oh, we did it.
Speaker 2 (50:55):
Yeah, we did it.
So thank y'all for listening.
Now you know who's behind thescene over here.
And season 2 we'll see y'all in2025.
We're gonna have some guests.
We're gonna have some guests.
It's gonna be magical.
And season two We'll see y'allin 2025.
We're going to have some guests.
We're going to have some guests.
It's going to be magical.
It's going to be some peopleyou know and it's going to be
some people you've never heardof, and that's okay, and it's
(51:18):
still going to be some traumawithin.
It's going to be stories andjourneys and I'm excited and
we're going to have projects.
Speaker 1 (51:27):
Yes, we're going to be working 2025.
Speaker 2 (51:30):
When are we?
Speaker 1 (51:31):
not Okay, that's what I was going to say.
We both keep 12.
We're laughing to keep fromcrying.
Speaker 2 (51:40):
Okay, bye y'all.
Until next time, bye y'all.
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