Unlocking the Power of Hypnosis: Empowering Parents and Children

Episode Transcript
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(00:01):
Hello, Hello, soulful seekers. Welcome back to Trauma and
Transcendence. Today I've got a lovely guest.
I know you're going to adore heras much as I do.
We met at the Heartland HypnosisConference just last spring, and
I want to say we've really enjoyed each other's colleagues
ever since. And I can't wait to tell you all

(00:21):
about her and for her to let youknow what it is that she's
offering and doing in this fun little realm of trauma,
hypnosis, transcendence. Meet the lovely Jodi Solberg.
Welcome, Jodi. Thank you so much, Amanda.
It's so wonderful to be here andI'm looking forward to our
conversation. We have a wealth in common.

(00:46):
I don't do addictions work, which is something you are
specializing in with Cormac. You want to tell us a little bit
about that though? Yeah, absolutely.
I have been working in and around trauma and since late 90s
about 1999 and I've been a hypnotherapist since 2001 and my
specialties were always around things like trauma and

(01:10):
generational cycles and addiction definitely falls in
that. I've worked with a lot of
families around abuse and custody issues as well as spent
about 10 years working with people with drug and alcohol
convictions. And so from children to teens
and after school programs and group homes to adults and the

(01:32):
criminal justice system and dealing with the court system.
I have a lot of extensive background in those areas.
And so in my private practice work and now in my training work
with other practitioners, coaches and counselors and
hypnotherapists, I do talk abouttrauma informed and solution
focused hypnotherapy so that we can be moving forward while also

(01:57):
healing from the. Roots, I love that.
Thank you for explaining it so eloquently.
And hopefully, my dear listeners, that is something
that we'll get to dive in with Jodi and Cormac together in a
future episode. So you caught a quick spoiler
here first, but today the reasonI brought you on is because I
was fascinated by your talk at Heartland this year.

(02:19):
And I can't recall the title because memory is hard after 40
for some reason. But you really talked about your
work with children, this sleep talk method, which I can't wait
to hear more about. And then also the generational
cycles of trauma and how trauma can factor into raising
children. So we were talking just earlier

(02:40):
about what it's like Co parenting with someone who's had
trauma or has a possible diagnosis and can be complicated
in terms of parenting. Yes.
And that's why I was talking so much about those generational
cycles. And in the talk that you came to
at Heartland, I was talking about doing different kinds of

(03:03):
pediatric hypnosis, but also in her child work because those
things stick with us. We have literally worked with
people who were 3 and 73 who were dealing with the same types
of challenges around trauma and attachment wounds and feelings
of unworthiness and shame and all of these things that get

(03:25):
really programmed in from such ayoung age.
Unfortunately for a lot of people, when we're just first
forming our beliefs about ourselves and our relationships
and our situations in the world around us.
And so we did, like I said, givea little tiny spoiler of my work
with my business partner Cormac Caller and around addiction and

(03:45):
trauma. And often those things start
really young in childhood and then they turn into these adult
types of addictions. And so when we're working with
children like, so whether there's a diagnosis or not,
because often it can be undiagnosed, it can be
unrecognized because it could bethis big event.

(04:07):
So it could be something like abuse, or it could be
transitions and separations likedivorce or a parent that has an
addiction, or it could be just feeling like child doesn't have
a safe and secure place to go when they need comfort or they
need assistance. I know I'll actually tell you

(04:30):
one of Cormac's stories just because it sticks out in my mind
when it comes to how those childhood wounds can further on.
And it's basically he had a client come in to him for
smoking, which happens a lot as hypnotherapist, right?
Stop smoking. But then a few months later, she
came back and said, well, I'm still not smoking, but I'm

(04:52):
eating a lot of sugar and doing a lot of emotional eating.
And when he dug deeper and went into that trauma and formed work
and in that space to try to helpher pinpoint, you know, what is
it that is coming up for her? Because often I describe it as
there's weeds that come up and we just try to mow them over and

(05:14):
they'll pop up somewhere else and then we try to mow them over
and we really need to get to that root.
And so when they went to figure out what was that root cause, it
was from childhood. And I think it's really
important for us to be aware that, you know, things that
people almost don't even notice or say, oh, that's not a big

(05:34):
deal. You shouldn't, that shouldn't
care so much about that. You should just get over that.
Things like that often are the things that stick with us as
adults. And So what happened was that
she had a when she she who had neurodivergence and he had

(06:00):
autism also might have had some oppositional defiance, things of
that nature, from what I had heard and understand.
But he would often get violent with her.
And what would happen is she sawthat her parents had to spend so
much time and attention on her brother that she had to take

(06:20):
care of herself. So she felt and when she was 6
she fell out of a tree and you know, climbing the tree just
fell down, hurt herself. And what would a normal 6 year
old do? They would cry for their mom or
dad, right? And expect someone to come and
comfort and sue them and bandagetheir wounds or whatever.
But she realized at that point that nobody was going to come

(06:43):
and help her. And that's almost the same level
of traumas when we look at like,not, I'm finding I'm having a
hard time with the word. But when we look back at the
orphanages and say like Rush, how some of those infants, they
learned to stop crying because nobody was coming.
So like it's. Absolutely.
And so, you know, often those types of childhood wounds, you

(07:05):
know, we learned to cope in different ways.
And at that time, she did end upbasically going for the cookie
jar. And she ended up gaining quite a
bit of weight, even just, you know, between the ages of six
and seven. Then as an adult, you know, our
subconscious finds these coping strategies, these ways to soothe
us or find a way to fill the need that isn't being met in

(07:29):
another way. And so she ended up going with
smoking as an adult. But then as soon as the smoking
was taken away, she went back toeating sugar again.
It's really something where it can be what we like to call
those big tea traumas, but it can also be the little tea
traumas or it can be a bigger deal for you then somebody else

(07:51):
would judge. And often again, we're raised to
disconnect, to find outside validation, other means to
soothe. And we'll neglect our needs in
order to be able to fit in, in order to get approval that we
need. And people get praised and
especially I find little girls and get praised for being good

(08:14):
girls, for being quiet, for not being a problem, for taking care
of themselves, you know, oh, you're just, you know, so easy
to deal with. And so that carries into our
relationships as adults. And it it, you know, can be, you
know, something that becomes that trauma sometimes for the
things, yes, that shouldn't havehappened, that did, but

(08:36):
sometimes the things that shouldhave happened didn't are the
things that end up being the things that shift how we view
ourselves and how we move through the world.
And so I talked a little bit about those things in April.
I also talked about how the different ages and stages of
working with children are and how impressionable and in

(09:01):
principle we are. You know, we're wide open.
Our subconscious minds are just like those sponges when we're
children. And again, that's when all of
those core beliefs are being formed and we get to, you know,
see what relationships are supposed to look like.
And everyone around us is modeling that.

(09:21):
Well, if you didn't have those healthy relationships modeled to
you, then again, often you're seeking that approval you feel
like you have to achieve, or youdon't know what a love and
acceptance looks like. And so how can we give that to
ourselves or anyone else when that's never been shown to us?
Right. So I guess that's the point

(09:43):
where it becomes generational trauma.
Exactly, exactly. Those things get passed down
because there's there's ways of either dealing and coping with
things or not dealing and copingwith things, not processing and
releasing when we're dealing with emotions.
You know, if you were told things like, you know, this is a
little old school, but it definitely is something that I

(10:06):
heard in life, you know, kind ofthat stop crying or going to
give you something to cry about type of an attitude.
You know, whether it was you or it was your parents that were
told that, grandparents that were told that, you know, and
when you aren't allowed to have emotions, when it's not
considered normal, when you're sent off into a corner to be by

(10:27):
yourself because you're not allowed to be mad or sad or
anything other than just however, you know, not seen and
not heard and just quiet. However, they don't.
Sometimes the role is to be perfect right?
Be perfectly all right all the time.
Perfectly even and all right allthe time.
But no one ever actually teacheshow to regulate your emotions in

(10:51):
most families you know of. OK, well, it's OK to have
emotion high or low. And here's how you get yourself
back to that nice, comfortable place.
It's just that's not OK if you, you know, are, are sad or mad or
whatever the case may be. So you just shut down,

(11:13):
disconnect, don't pay attention to those things and then reach
for something that's going to make you feel better.
And so that can be anything. And especially in our world now,
our fast-paced world, often that's scrolling.
And then we get into the world of comparison and, and

(11:33):
distraction from, you know, anything that can take us away
from feeling our feelings and really truly moving through
things, we just stuff them and store them.
And that's where I feel, you know, a lot of the rise.
I mean, there's, there's a wholelot of factors in the world.
Of course, you know, in our world, there's a lot that goes

(11:56):
into this. But when we talk about chronic
pain and health conditions and autoimmune conditions and so
many things especially that affect us as women, you know,
our minds and bodies aren't justconnected, they're a whole as
one. And so when we're stuffing and
storing things in our subconscious minds, storing them

(12:17):
in our bodies, because emotions are physiological responses that
we just put words to, then what happens is we start to see the
effects over time of that. It just accumulates and then it
either can't 'cause or exacerbate issues that we have.
So when we're working with children, how is it different?
You know, it's, it's the same type of situation when you're

(12:40):
working with a child or you're working with an adult, but
children don't have all of that kind of critical analytical
thinking ability just yet. Depending on the age, you know,
it shifts as they get older. But again, that subconscious
sponge of we have opportunities now, we never lose our
neuroplasticity. We never lose our ability to

(13:02):
change. We always have that, so there's
never too late. And it's such an opportunity
when you're working with children again to be able to
shift those patterns because we start to create patterns of
thoughts and feelings and behaviors on the outside, but
also on the inside. So again, what we think of as
habits and with children, they're just going to manifest

(13:24):
in different ways. So we'll think of things more
like nail biting or potty training issues or, you know,
picking or, you know, we think of those kinds of things
attached with childhood. And yes, often they'll regress
and, you know, go back in into those types of challenges or
have nervous habits, you know, picking and, and different

(13:47):
things. Whereas adults, again, we tend
to, you know, have more adult habits.
And so it'll translate and, and with children, it can definitely
be things like sugar and you know, that can start early and
body image issues can start early.
But then again, as adults, then those kinds of things translate
more into the substances. And so you'll just see slightly

(14:07):
different types of habits, but we also have such an opportunity
to because they are so open and in their subconscious so much,
but to make those changes and tolay that as a foundation so that
again, they're not carrying those same things for decades.
So I feel like it's just you're in the building stages.

(14:32):
It's like making a decision on changing the floor plan when
you're building the house versusa remodel, right?
You're in the middle of creatingthe blueprints and you're like,
actually, I think I want to put this over here or you know,
let's in a shift how we're doingthis because this isn't working
for us. It's not going to be functional

(14:53):
versus after the fact and you'retearing things down and building
them back up. And so it can absolutely always
be, but what an opportunity to do that as a child.
And when you work with a child, the other thing that's really
amazing because always whenever we work with anyone, we're not
just affecting the one person, we're affecting everyone in

(15:14):
their sphere. So when you're working with a
family, when you're working witha child, how amazing is it that
it's not just about them, It's about that whole family dynamic.
And when that generation changes, then it's the next and
the next. Actually, I'm still connected
with this. Like, I can't believe I've been

(15:35):
doing this for this long, to be honest.
But I remember working with a group I worked at a private
school actually, and counsellingand teaching and things that a
long time ago, you know, we're talking 20 years ago at this
point. And I basically started with
some of these kids and working with them.

(15:56):
So whether they were going through, you know, I remember 1
being abused by a cousin or dealing with, you know, family
divorces or I always, I spoke Spanish.
So I also always got sent all the kids that didn't speak
English and we're dealing with transitions from moving from
other countries, for example, and that can be really traumatic

(16:18):
too and so. Shock is real.
Shock. Yeah.
And being put in a place where, like, you don't understand
anyone. Yeah.
It was really transitionally challenging for them.
And so I was working with all these different kinds of kids.
They were so little. They were like pre-K
kindergarten age. And now I'm still connected, the

(16:39):
beauty of social media, still connected with some of these
families, you know, 20 years later.
And they are now having their own kids.
And I've gotten to see because I, you know, was closer in Asia
at the time to the parents. And so, you know, I, I was able
to stay connected, hear how their kids were doing here now,
how they're doing and their own marriages and having babies.

(17:03):
And it's so amazing to see how well they're doing and these
shifts and these challenges. Whereas, you know, if I hadn't
had a chance and then, you know,they're 45 and coming to me,
then, you know, there's a lot that they're unraveling because
I often am working with parents who are saying I want to do
something different, but I don'tknow how.

(17:25):
So they know they want to make the change, but they don't know
what to do differently. Or they feel like, OK, I didn't
want those things to come out ofmy mouth.
But now I feel like I'm soundingjust like this person or that
person. This is coming out.
And they're also then dealing with the after effects versus
being, you know, so it's kind ofbeing proactive versus reactive.

(17:47):
They're dealing with the after effects of these childhood
wounds playing out in patterns in their own relationships.
So working with children is sucha profound gift and opportunity,
and they're so open. It's so easy to be honest with
you, right? So I think it's super fun and
it's so easy because they'll tell you if you pay attention

(18:11):
and you listen and you know whatto listen for, it will all come
out in their play and their narration and their stories and
their art. Whatever expression that they're
using, it comes out. They share with you everything
that's going on behind the scenes.
They'll play out the dynamics and the relationships.

(18:33):
And so you don't have to especially, you know, younger
children, you know, under 12, let's say 10 and 10 especially.
They don't need to close their eyes as a hypnotherapist.
It's all just playing out in front of them.
And so we have really great opportunities as parents, as
practitioners, to be intentionaland aware of what's going in for

(18:59):
them and then also of what's coming out, because you really
can get a lot of insight just from taking the time to listen
and observe. Yeah, absolutely.
Having been a parent and a parent in a difficult, non
standard situation, I can definitely think back to
sometimes when we did actually take our kiddo to play therapy

(19:21):
for some of those bigger transitions.
And so I can definitely remembersome of the play themes coming
up as you were talking. And it's like, Oh yeah, I
remember a lot of those things. And I wasn't trained in hypnosis
at the time, so I wasn't as aware of the opportunity
unfortunately. So one of the things we had to
deal with that was really challenging was trying to Co

(19:44):
parent with someone who did not want to Co parent at all.
And if anything, I would often counter parent anything that
myself and I tried to put into place for our little one.
I'm wondering for people in those situations, how do you
help them navigate that? Great question, which was a lot
of families like that and they said it can absolutely feel like

(20:07):
that counter parenting Because not only do does the parent
who's being counter parented against need to be able to
manage their own emotions and try not to engage as much as
possible and try to stay neutralas much as they can and things
of that nature. Because it is important as much

(20:28):
as possible to, you know, especially with the child.
And I think this is important that people are aware that
children hear everything way more than you think they do,
even while they're sleeping. They see everything too.
They see everything. They hear everything and they
do. Yeah, be really careful about

(20:50):
that of staying as neutral as you can because often, so if
there's one parent where let's say there's a, you know, more
narcissistic abusive acts, let'ssay that they are trying to Co
parent with and that parent is probably saying all sorts of
things negatively about the samesituation.
The family, the other parent of trying to not engage in that

(21:12):
kind of behavior. Because what can happen is
children can absorb that. They can internalize that
because they come from both parents.
And then they feel like there's something wrong with them
because often what's told is, well, you're just like your mom
or whatever it is. And then they're saying bad
things about the mom or the dad or whoever that is.

(21:35):
I'm so glad we never did the just quickly.
But well, the other parents, sometimes it is, you know, and
so so you know, being in a situation where not only do you
have to protect your child, but also protect yourself and in
your emotions and deal with the trauma you've gone through if

(21:56):
you're in that kind of situation.
But then you're also feeling like you're having to unravel
all the damage that's done when they're with the other parents
or that everything good you're doing is being unraveled on
their side. And so it's really establishing,
and this is what I try to help my clients do, is establishing

(22:16):
their home as a place of safety,as a place of consistency, as a
place of that unconditional loveand acceptance and fostering
that secure attachment there as much as possible.
And because they can't control what's happening when their
child's in that other home, in that other household.
So consistent routines, consistent messages and building

(22:39):
that child up and, and letting them know that you have that
unconditional love and acceptance and they can come to
you. Because even if the other
parent, let's say, is, you know,saying all these awful things or
whatever is happening, then you showing that consistency, you
show your child who you are. Just be consistent and in as

(23:02):
much as you can. And that's what you can control
is your response, not what the other person is doing.
And so really working on intentionally responding versus
emotionally reacting and regulating your own nervous
system so that your child can belook at you as a model and can
Co regulate with you. I think, you know, those are the
key factors that I work on with people in those situations.

(23:25):
And those are really big things,I think especially the
consistency and then having structure and not being afraid
to have boundaries. Yes.
And that was double edged sometimes because there were
times when we had boundaries, wehad structures and the other
parent would automatically work against it.
So if we praised manners, my kiddo would go over to his other
parents house and all the suddenit's, oh, you know what, we're

(23:47):
going to eat with our fingers today and we're not going to
worry about. And this is a child who had a
hard time with those things. So there's a reason we were
working on, yes, we're going to use our utensils and our tools
and our words properly versus what was easy.
So the thing about the structures, I think that really
made it helpful for us was even though we knew that after a

(24:11):
while there was a cycle, the cycle would be Sunday.
He would come home from a visit.We would count that day out
basically because he would not be a well functioning child.
He would be, yeah, transition day.
And because he was on the spectrum and had undiagnosed
trauma, transition day could lead into a couple of days

(24:32):
sometimes. So we wouldn't have our typical
little guy until school started,maybe Monday afternoon, and
that's if he didn't have a full on meltdown at school that day,
depending on what had occurred over the weekend.
And then we would have a pretty functioning, normal, easygoing
house until there was a phone call Thursday evening.

(24:52):
And then it would cascade into aseries of behaviors and it could
go as far as bed wetting and emotional outbursts and
aggression at school and difficult themes of play.
And then it would be high anxiety until Friday afternoon
when it would be transition timeagain.

(25:13):
And that's typically what you will see, like you said, more
with children. So, you know, those things are
going to come out in one way or another.
But with children, yeah, it is going to be the regression when
it comes to potty training, bed wetting behavior.
You know, those tantrums, they said aggression, Those are the
things that you will see quite abit.

(25:36):
You know, when children are exhibiting those types of
behaviors from challenges that are going on internally, that's
how that externally, which is different.
Again, with with, you know, there's not that reasoning.
You know, we even as adults, youknow, we can be so hard on
ourselves and have those strong inner critics and everything.

(25:56):
But you know, there's that love we have to put on the brave face
we have to. And kids can have that too
sometimes. You know, we put on this like,
well, I can't get upset in frontof anybody, so I'm just going to
keep it all together until we blow up or breakdown.
That can happen, but it takes a lot more for an adult and then

(26:17):
it does usually for a child. But there's a family that I'm
working with where the little girl does that at school.
So her meltdowns aren't necessarily when she's at
school. She will hold it all together.
She'll just see the happiest child and she gets home and it
all comes out. And you know, it's important to,

(26:41):
you know, you know, for your child, you got to know those
transitions. You got to know.
That's where the structure was key.
It really gave us the opportunity of here's the day to
learn something new versus today.
We're going to go super gentle and just be patient.
Yeah, I have no expectations today.
And manage those expectations because, yeah, if you don't have

(27:05):
those transition periods, peoplereally need that in general.
You know, when kids especially, we need to give them notice of
transitions, help them through the transitions, you know, be
able to walk them through that versus expecting them to be like
little adults who can just push through and get over it, you

(27:27):
know, so to speak. Now, again, quotes on that
because, you know, even adults, that's not healthy.
And it's not the best thing. But but people put really high
expectations on kids. I literally heard a story the
other day where this little girlwas like 5, maybe 6, and there
was an adult that was telling her to stop acting like a child.

(27:50):
It's like, wow, like says helping her through and it was a
transition and through it instead of helping her through
that transition, she didn't wantto wash hair and bed, you know?
And so that's why it's so important.
It's, it's interesting because as children think back, right,
we have, even if we don't realize it, we have those solid

(28:12):
structures and routines for a reason.
So if you think about bedtime, right, that's, that's a, a
typical 1 you can think of for achild.
It's like, OK, so you know, you have dinner, you might have
homework or, you know, whatever it is.
And it's like, brush your teeth,put your pajamas on, you know,
have some quiet time, read a book, you know, whatever it is,

(28:33):
and then lights out and you go to sleep.
So there's a reason why we do that for children.
And then we get older and then we stop doing those things.
But we need those transitions. And I actually talked to a lot
of families about this with the pandemic, because they now all
the structure, structure, they didn't have transitions.

(28:58):
There wasn't you walk out of thedoor and close the door behind
you and go somewhere else to go to school and to go to work,
things like that. And then you leave and you have
the right home and that's a transition.
And then you come back in the door and then it's home time.
Wait, we didn't have that. Really difficult for a lot of

(29:21):
people. So think about that with those
transitions to giving that to ourselves, giving that to our
kids of not just being like, OK,it's time to go from this
activity to the next. Let's give them a little notice.
Would you let you know? And you can always give two
acceptable options, right? It can be like would you like to

(29:44):
start to get ready in 10 minutesor 15 minutes, you know, or
would you like to do this or would you like to do that?
My favorite was, would you like to have a bath or would you like
to have a shower? Exactly.
It didn't matter which one, you know.
Yeah, they're both accessible options.
They think was not an option, sowe didn't get that option to be.
But you just give two really great options, something you'll

(30:06):
be happy with. But it helps them because that
is the other thing with childrenis they do not have control over
a lot. And so that's one of the why
they regress when we're talking about trauma or control issues
and things like that, is that's what they can control things
like their bowels. And so and you know, if they are

(30:29):
regressing like that, you know, there's, you know, usually
there's underlying with habits, there's a lot of underlying
anxiety. You know, there will be fears or
anxieties or trauma or whatever underneath the surface, but
it'll come out in those ways because that's what they can
control. So they'll say, no, I don't want
to eat that or no, I don't want to go, you know, potty in the

(30:50):
bathroom. You know, they'll, they'll just
won't do it because they feel like they're out of control.
And we know as adults, that doesn't feel very good.
And so we need to be able to give them acceptable choices so
that then they feel like they'remaking a decision.
And that can be really, really helpful as well.

(31:12):
So transition times, giving themappropriate choices and then
modeling that healthy, you know,regulation and processing of
emotions. And they do those things for
kids. It sets for their lives.
So as a parent, I didn't know this, but we had kind of

(31:32):
ritualized things. We had rituals for on the way
home of transition day. We had certain things we were
going to do. What I didn't know was Hebbs law
with fires together, wires together.
I didn't know that every time wedid that, I was creating neural
pathways for him to readjust back into home.
And now it makes so much sense and it's like, God, I didn't

(31:53):
have that training it, but I wasjust lucky that it intuitively
kind of fell in for us and I wasable to create little things.
That's when I say that structurewas really key for us in the
consistency, because then he could kind of find his grounding
and his emotional regulation a little bit faster that way.
Yeah, yeah. And so understanding how the

(32:15):
brain works definitely makes a big difference with that because
we do have that ability, like I was saying, with that
neuroplasticity to change and create new neural pathways.
And each time you do that ritual, you're reinforcing the
positive path, the path that youwant to reinforce.
And so when we are really intentional about that and

(32:36):
intuitive is good, I always callit mommy radar.
It could be daddy radar too. What are the things that work
and then keep doing those, right?
What are those things that are going to it?
Could be simple things too. There were times when I would
bring blankets in the car, he would always have a specific
blanket pillow in the car and I would usually just dab a couple
of drops of lavender oil. Absolutely.

(33:01):
Things there is nothing wrong with that absolutely, and then
because think about how stronglyin the brain we associate smells
sense yes right with certain things.
And so there's lots of ways thatyou can help them soothe that.
That nervous system can be through voice and your energy
can be through having that favorite blanket, that scent and

(33:24):
that music, like whatever it is,that atmosphere.
I've heard a lot of singing in the car, yeah.
Yeah, and singing is amazing. So you know, when we're moving
our our jaws and singing, makingthose noises right at all is
really great for activating thatvagus nerve and and bringing

(33:47):
some of that calm and and comfort in.
And it can get a lot out. We can use our voices again.
A lot of times kids voices are shushed and that could cause a
lot of challenges when we becomeadults with being able to speak
up or ask for what we need. Absolutely.
And so you've also had a different way of working with

(34:10):
children, one that I'm not as familiar with.
And so I was kind of entranced when I was hearing your talk and
thinking, oh man, that was an option.
Tell me a little bit more about sleep talk.
Absolutely, yes. That was a big part of my my
presentation because sleep talk to me is so valuable because if
I'm working with a child directly, I don't see them that

(34:32):
often. You know, if I am seeing them
for an hour once a week, something like that, then
that's, that's that one snapshotof time.
And yes, it can make an impact, absolutely.
And who was with them the rest of the time?
And so it's late talk. It's a process where I'm
teaching parents and empowering them to learn how to speak to

(34:55):
their child's subconscious mind in a positive way.
That's going to instill unconditional love, self esteem,
secure attachment, all of these wonderful gifts that we want to
give children. But by learning how to craft
these messages and to speak intotheir mind in a positive way, we

(35:17):
can unravel some of the past negative programming and still
more intentional positive messages and to help lift them
up versus tear them down. And so it's a really fantastic
process. It's literally 2 to 3 minutes.
And the reason why it's called sleep talk is it's not just for
sleep and to help with sleep, but you can do it while they

(35:40):
sleep, which parents really appreciate because they won't do
anything. They won't participate in that.
They won't listen to me, they back talk, whatever it is,
different ages and stages, but it's something where, yes, you
can reinforce those messages while they're awake during the
day, but you can while they're sleeping.

(36:00):
And this could be literally any age.
This could be at night, this could be morning, this could be
your naps. You can do this with teenagers,
young children, but what you're doing is you're crafting these
messages. So I teach parents how to do
this and it's just all about, again, that unconscious love and
acceptance and security and all these wonderful things.

(36:22):
Well, they could absorb whateveris on the TV when they fall
asleep, or you could turn that off and you could choose what's
going in and it's just speaking.Those positive messages takes 2
minutes and it's consistency. You can do both parents, you can
do it with all the children in the household.

(36:43):
You can have other family members do this as well.
It, you know, we have lots of blended families in different
situations. So it's adaptable for everyone,
even military families and doingthings like remotely recording a
message. So I've, I've worked with lots
of different kinds of families with that some.
But parents love it because theyare empowered to be able to feel

(37:04):
like they can do something to help their kids.
And we do have the ability to customize the statements to
specific challenges. For those listeners that are not
hypnotherapists, can you touch on what they could expect and
why does it? Yeah, absolutely.
So we absorb everything and again, especially children are

(37:27):
that wide open, a little subconscious binge, but we
absorb everything even while we're sleeping.
But when we are sleeping, we go through different sleep cycles.
So when we're talking about hypnosis, kind of it's basically
my super, super simple definition of with hypnosis is
relaxing on purpose for a positive purpose because it's

(37:47):
slowing down those brain wave states so that our subconscious
mind is open. That's where our creativity, our
imagination, our emotions, that programming all happens.
And so when kids are and people in general are falling asleep,
so we start to slow down South when we're wide awake, engaging,

(38:08):
we're in beta. Kids don't actually go into that
beta, which is a really pretty fast brain wave state until
they're a little bit older. So they get closer to those
preteen and teen years and then they start to be in beta a
little bit more. But we have alpha, which is a
little bit lower and slower. So think about when you're
reading a book, watching TV or amovie, you know, like

(38:30):
meditation, relaxing and play things like that.
You know, there's a lot of alphawaves happening and that's a
great open space. But Theta is a even a little
deeper. I'm so a deeper relaxation and
go from alpha to Theta and hypnosis.
But kids are often in that Thetastate and then again, as they

(38:51):
get older than they are a littlemore alpha and Theta and then a
little bit more beta sprinkled in.
Babies are delta. That's our deep sleep.
That's what we think of as deep dream of sleep data is where our
dreams have been. So that's our run sleep.
So again, we can actually be having heightened focus and
awareness in the states even when we're in these light states

(39:16):
of sleep. So when we go to sleep at night,
we go a little bit deeper and deeper until we get to that deep
dreamless sleep. And then we come back up through
the stages and then we go back down.
And so we have these about 90 minutes sleep cycles where we're
kind of in and out, up and down.And with kids, same thing.
So as they're falling asleep, there's a sweet spot for this.

(39:37):
OK, so the sweet spot for this is, you know, when you go up to
a child and you rub their littleforehead, their hairline there.
And if they are wide awake, theythey're not deep enough for
that. That's right.
But they're like, what are you doing?
And they get up and and are wondering what's going on if

(39:59):
they are just. Kind of out for the count and
don't move at all. They're in that kind of deep
delta sleep. They don't even react if they
are kind of that alpha to Theta,they're just maybe going to
shift a little bit and they're out.
And so that's a great place where you can start to instill

(40:19):
these messages. Now again, you can do this while
they're awake too. So you can absolutely do this
when they're awake. I highly recommend it.
Kids tend to wake up and be using the words from the
statements. They'll start to repeat things
because they heard them and it'swonderful.
But what you can expect at 1st, at first, we have all that
negative past programming that'sstill hanging out and it doesn't

(40:41):
go away right away. We're adding in the positive
messages, we're creating some new pathways.
And again, it's things about that unconditional love and
acceptance. If they don't feel like they're
unconditionally love and accepted, there might be a
little bit of cognitive dissonance happening there.
There might be a little bit of push pull happening in there.
Then consistency is the key. And so you keep consistently

(41:03):
putting those those messages in there and they begin to become
accepted. And then those past negative
programs start to dissolve. They start to fade away.
They're not being used as much and the new pathway is being
used and being reinforced over and over again.
So that's really kind of why it works whenever.
So you can only have have one belief about something at a

(41:25):
time. And whenever there's new
learning, new programming happening, especially when it's
positive, it always wins. And so it will overwrite that
past negative programming. And so this is a consistency
thing. So this is a program that I do
with people usually over the period of about six months
because we do an assessment of where is their child now and

(41:46):
that's with the Pam, whoever it is the caregiver who was wanting
to do this with the child or children.
And so we do an assessment wherethey socially, emotionally,
physically, relationships, all of those things.
And so we do an assessment for that.
And then we lay down the foundation.
So we have a foundational statement that is more general.

(42:08):
And then we give that time to beaccepted.
So we give that about six weeks to do it's magic.
And then we add to that and thenwe have a transitional
statement. And so we add to that statement
and that's going to help a lot with any kinds of anxieties
because this works for just about everything you could
possibly imagine it could be. Again, social, emotional,

(42:29):
academic challenges, those habits that we talked about,
anxieties, past traumas, different behaviors.
And so we start to see the changes.
So we do an assessment at each step of like, OK, what has
improved and what are we still having challenges around?
And then the third round is a custom statement.

(42:50):
So then we see what's leftover and it's usually just one or two
things that are. And we do an assessment of, you
know, literally from very poor, poor, okay, good, very good,
excellent, you know, those typesof things.
So basically we're looking for above the middle, above the bar

(43:11):
there. And so we start to see things
creep up and get better and better and we see a percentage
of change. And then whatever is left over,
that poor need, that's the root,because often we're trying to
treat symptoms versus A cause. And so we're looking for
whatever that route is. And then we target that.

(43:34):
And I teach parents the formula to do that.
So once we've done that, they now have the tools in their
toolbox to do that forever. So then they craft these
statements later when something comes up with a bully at school
or an academic issue or kind of challenge, you know, something
that's unforeseen in the future,they'll have that in a toolbox.

(43:56):
So for parents who are considering taking some kind of
approach, they like the idea of this.
How do they know if their child is a suitable candidate?
Is there an age range that's preferred or what guidelines
might you have for them? Anybody could benefit from this.
The parents will benefit from this, which is great.
I, I worked with a family who, so the father was dealing with

(44:19):
some depression and alcohol issues.
The mother, you know, behind closed doors wasn't, you know,
super well known and it wasn't super over yet.
The mother was dealing with somepostpartum OCD, so a lot of
anxieties and fears, and the sonwas a toddler.
They were trying to do the pottytraining.
He was having some challenges with that, starting to get some
aggression. So they were starting to see

(44:41):
some of the effects of the things that were going on at
home with him and just teaching them sleep talk taught, you
know, them to speak all these messages into the little boy's
subconscious mind. Well, guess what?
The parents are hearing it too. It actually calmed and soothe
the mother's fears and anxieties.
And so two things with that question.

(45:04):
One is it literally can be any age now, you know, because of
the assessment and we can do anyage for sure.
The assessment itself is going to have things about, you know,
verbalizing, so around speech and writing or you know, and
it's at whatever their level is,you know, math for an 8 year old

(45:26):
is going to look different than math like learning their numbers
for a three or four year old, right?
So I'm going to customize a little bit on there.
But typically, you know, when they start becoming verbal at
like 2, let's say you know, all the way to 18.
But I mean, it really could be you have an adult child at home,

(45:49):
an adult parent at home. You could do this with anyone
cuz all you're doing is. That's so sweet.
It's true. Do you think of an?
Adult parent, Yeah. People are using sleep talking
with, you know, family members with health issues or, or
anything because it really is just speaking love to each

(46:10):
other. And so you can speak kind loving
words to anyone. And so people do have adult
children or things that are at home.
I wouldn't, I wouldn't mind. Somebody asked me that one, like
I wouldn't mind. You know, with teenagers,
typically the parents will standat the doorway versus going
right up to them because they may wake up.
And I did have a a teenage client who I was working with

(46:33):
her, but I was also working withthe mom.
And the mom learned how to do sleep chalk.
And she was doing it with all ofthe kids.
But the mom told me, yeah, one one night she woke up and she
was like, mom, what are you doing?
And she was like, I'm just telling you, I love you.
Good night. And that was it.
It was super easy and like my mom did that.
I'd be fine with it. She lives here, it's fine.
But what's really beautiful is it can work for any age.

(46:55):
And so yes, you could totally start doing this with babies.
I work with people who are also pregnant and postpartum too.
So you can do this at any time and honestly there isn't really
a contraindication to this because it is just learning how
to speak in a way where these messages can stick and be

(47:15):
accepted and that they really are supportive.
So that's kind of the beauty of this.
I can really see the power of that because as the parent is
doing that, they're also anchoring into a specific state
themselves. They're anchoring into that
state of loving, unconditional parenting.
So that actually is beneficial for them too.
When difficult times do arise, it can see why.

(47:38):
And I feel like that heals theirown inner child, you know,
Because often when I'm working with adults, a lot of it is re
parenting themselves and giving themselves the things that they
didn't get as children themselves.
So they're teaching them, you know, they're learning and
teaching their child these things.
They're also learning it for themselves because again, what,

(48:00):
what do they do? They come to us and they say, I
need help with my child. I don't know what to do.
Now they're being empowered to where there's something they can
do, they're learning how to do it, and they're healing those
old generational wounds and traumas from the past, as well
as affecting positively the generations to come.

(48:21):
So to me, I feel like anybody could benefit from it.
It's just a matter of whether ornot they they want to add this
to the toolbox. Now, I believe in having a whole
care team and having a holistic approach.
So obviously if it's a physical challenge of some kind of work
with a lot of people, you know, if their kids have physical, you

(48:45):
know, health issues or they do, you know, then we want to make
sure that they're being supported by the, you know, the
medical or physical health practitioners as well and that
they're getting taken care of onall levels.
But this is something that can be supportive for that medical
anxiety. It can be supportive for any

(49:06):
kind of chronic pain or health conditions.
You know, it, it again, mind body connection is real and
we're completely connected. And so being able to support on
that mental, emotional side is always a good thing.
Even the CDC will tell you that at least 85% of physical health

(49:26):
conditions have a psychological component.
And so if they are saying that, we know it's at least that much.
And I feel like this is something that can just be
complimentary to anything else, whatever parenting styles or
whatever other support that they're getting.
You know, often I've had that where I'm working with a family

(49:49):
who they have a speech pathologist for the little boy
because he was having, you know,he had a tongue tie and he was
having issues with speech and just getting faster, even better
results because they're helping to build his confidence and his
abilities. And it's really been amazing to
see the progress because of that.
And he was a Covic baby. So that's also something that I

(50:12):
didn't even realize that becausehe wasn't exposed to, to a lot
of people, speech isn't just your Physiology, it's also
modeling and watching other people.
And because he was really only around his mom, he didn't really
get a lot of that. And then he also didn't have the
confidence of being able to, youknow, use his voice and speak in

(50:34):
public and interact with other adults and all of these things.
So it's just been a really beautiful eye opening experience
that you know, it can work for just about anyone.
And so if a family decides that they'd like to add that in their
toolbox, typically how long do you work with them for?
So usually do work with them forsix months.

(50:55):
I have a six month program and we can do that individually.
I also have a course for that where they can go in.
They're still going to get support from me, think I did.
So it depends on if they want meto do individual sessions with
them or their child as well. I can do that, but I have it set
up where we can do the assessments, where they can turn
those in. They can also watch videos, so

(51:16):
they get to choose their level of support on that.
And then I have monthly coachingcalls for that particular course
or they can work with me individually there.
And so they can find that on my website.
I know we'll put that here in the notes.
And so they can check that out and learn more about it.
And if they want to book a call to learn more and ask questions,

(51:40):
they can do that there as well. And then I said there's three
stages within those six months. We do three different
assessments. I teach them and walk them
through all the steps. And then after that is really
just implementing. And again, it's creating a
ritual, like you said, Amanda, it's creating a routine and a
ritual. I help them with how to
incorporate that into their existing routines so that it

(52:04):
makes it easy. And again, it is so simple.
It's amazing how profound the results are when it's as simple
as it is. But it works on those same
tenants and premises of what we do as hypnotherapist.
You know, just working with parents to empower them to have
the skills to do that for their own children, not feeling like

(52:27):
they have to go to someone else to quote UN quote, fix their
child. You know, it's like, guess what?
I have something I can do that is a game changer for parents,
that helps them just boost theirconfidence and feel so empowered
because they don't feel helplessor hopeless or like they're out
of control. And you have a resource for

(52:48):
people who are interested as well.
I think we were speaking and it's how to speak to your
child's subconscious mind. Do you want to tell us a little
bit about what that is? Yeah, absolutely.
Yeah. I have a free download that
helps them and give them tips. So it's five different tips on
how to speak into their child's subconscious mind for better

(53:09):
results. So positive behaviors and, you
know, just having an overall calmer, more happy household is
always a good thing. Oh, and so, yeah, so that one
has some tips there. And so they'll be able to
download that as well. And, you know, I do like use a
work directly with family and teach parents.
I also teach practitioners as well.

(53:30):
And so if someone's listening tothis and they're, you know, a
hypnotherapist, they're a coach,they're a healer, they're an
educator, anyone who's working with families or children or who
works with adults who have children, because we're teaching
the parents to be able to go back and do this with their

(53:51):
kids. And that can be a big source of
stress when there's a lot of challenges happening at home.
And so if anyone's interested inlearning about that, then I also
would invite them to reach out to me directly.
I can share more about the SleepTalk course to become certified
in that as practitioner. And then of course, as you
mentioned with Cormac, I also have with our SFTI Hypnosis

(54:13):
Academy, a solution focused and trauma informed hypnotherapy
courses. And we do have more coming up
around trauma as well as generational cycles of things
like addiction and anxiety and things coming up on in 2026.
We have, I know our trauma and addiction training, it's going
to be held in January. And then we have more courses to

(54:35):
come. And so would love for anyone to
reach out if they're interested in learning more about that as
well. Because, you know, I really feel
like when we can impact a familyagain, it's so far reaching,
we'll never know how far that goes.
There's such a huge ripple effect and it is such incredibly
rewarding work and so. Well, if generational trauma can

(54:58):
happen, so congenerational healing.
Exactly, exactly. And so I, I love what you're
doing here with trauma and transcendence and it is so
beautiful. And I just, I appreciate you so
much for having me here today. Thank you so much for being
here. It's always a pleasure when I
get to learn more about you and the work that you do It's
incredible. So selfless seekers, I will put

(55:19):
in as much information as I can about Jodie for you into the
description so that you can findher and her beautiful work.
And as always, stay happy, stay healthy, but most of all, stay
inspired. Bye for now.

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