Episode 38: Joe Decker

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
I got the whiskey. Let me have a drink of your whiskey. Better get out of here.

(00:07):
My name's Ken and I clean Willie Nelson's under hole. Under hole?
I know you don't agree but I think he's the king of country. Get the fuck out of here.
I tried to be cut first. Get out of my studio. No, hell no.
From the Ramona radio studios, it's the Travis Billy Ross Outlaw Country Show.

(00:33):
Alright, we're here. Happy Sunday. Hope everybody had a good week with me as always. Sweet Curbs.
Hey, hey. This is the Travis Billy Ross Outlaw Country Show.
Thank you all for tuning in and running the sound, the mad man over here, Mr. Eric Goforth.
Hi buddy. Hi. We have a very interesting guest today.
You know that guy from Dos Equis, the most interesting man in the world?

(00:57):
Well, we have the most fittest man in the world today.
Certified, right? Certified. Mr. Joe Decker, how are you my friend?
Doing good guys. Thanks for having me on.
Yeah, dude. Holy crap. What brings you to San Diego?
Actually Ramona, you live down in San Diego, yeah?
Yeah, yeah. Me and my wife, we live down in Little Italy.

(01:19):
We've been here for about, what about 16, wait 16, 20 years.
Hell, I don't know. Too much whiskey and wine and women.
Now we moved out here from Washington, D.C.
Originally a farm boy from the Midwest, but after I broke the world record for fitness,
I lived in the East Coast and got tired of the weather out there and decided to come out west, man, like Jim Morrison said.

(01:40):
So that's the world record of the most fittest man.
How did you do that? What did you have to do? Was it like running, swimming?
It was a lot of things, you know, prior, you know, farm boy, military guy, I was in the Army for a few years, got out of the Army,
went to law school, dropped out of law school, traveled around, lived in my pickup truck all over the United States,

(02:01):
got down to New Orleans, doing a lot of cocaine and a lot of blow and as we do.
Very New Orleans, very New Orleans. Color me naive, I have no idea.
I thought it was like boobs and beads and a lot of cocaine.

(02:22):
Lots of boobs and lots of blow and that cocaine, it's a hell of a drug.
So anyway, I digress, but got got down and out suicidal.
And one night I was sitting in a bar and saw a thing on Guinness Prime Time. It was the world's fittest man.
So me and my buddy, of course, were, you know, properly tuned up and I wrote it down in a napkin and said, man, you know,

(02:44):
of course, we're talking shit. We're like, hey, we can do what that guy did.
And I put it on my wall. And of course, you know, being a being a being a junkie and an alcoholic at the time, like it wasn't going to happen.
But I just kept looking at it. And when I turned 30, I'm like, you know what?
I'm going to try to go from being a down and out, you know, drug abusing kind of loser at the time to the fittest man in the world.
So, of course, I dusted off the old shoes and went out for a run and about died after half mile.

(03:10):
But from age 27, I was a suicidal, down and out drug addict. And age 30, I was the fittest man in the world.
That's crazy. Yeah, it was for you. It was, you know, it's one of those things.
It wasn't about like ego or anything like that. I was just like, you know, I mean, 30, you're kind of like, you know, who am I?
What am I doing? And just wanted to see, you know, what I could do, what the human body was capable of, the mind and everything.

(03:31):
And so, I mean, it changed everything. It just opened doors to a lot of good things in life.
You know, you're helping everyone get fit. Trying. I mean, you know, I mean, we still like to enjoy ourselves, but just trying to motivate and inspire people.
Because I think there's a lot of people out there like all of us, you know, that they hit the lows and then to know that like, hey, there's something besides that, you know, that you can get yourself out of that hole.
So just try to inspire, motivate and eat people. So do so. Do they put parameters around how to make the fittest man? They do.

(03:59):
So there was a there was a thing there is 13 different events you have to do.
You basically start out with the warm up as an Iron Man, like as you run a marathon, you cycle 100 miles, you swim a couple of miles and then you start working out afterwards.
So it's it was called the 24 hour physical fitness challenge. And so you had to do like 10 miles running, 10 miles hiking, five miles power walking, six miles kayaking, two miles swimming, 10 miles on a Nordic track, 10 miles on a rolling machine, 3000 sit ups, 1100 push ups, 1100 jumping jacks, 1000 leg lifts and then weight lifted 278,000 pounds to become the world's fittest man.

(04:35):
That sounds exhausting.
I'm tired of my jaw wide open and going.
That's a nice round number.
So dude, you made it you made it to the cover of GQ magazine. Yeah.
Yeah, yeah. It's interesting because, you know, again, like, I mean, I'm a farm boy. I grew up in a I grew up in a mobile home in Midwest. Six of us in a two bedroom mobile home.

(05:00):
So like, you know, I hadn't been exposed to a lot of, you know, the the stuff that comes from fame and, you know, stuff like that. So the first was I got a call from People magazine, People magazine said, hey, you're in running for 50 of the 50 most eligible bachelors in the United States.
And I'm like, I'm like, hey, guys, you got the wrong number.
Wait, this was after you had got the fittest man. Okay.
Yeah. So they called her like you're one of 10,000 like you got the wrong number, dude. Don't call me again. They call me back. So eventually I got into People magazine for the 50 most eligible bachelors in the United States.

(05:32):
He's not eligible anymore. Ladies. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Was it there with George Clooney and Ben Affleck and a bunch of guys, of course, like they didn't talk to me at the club in the Lower East Side of Manhattan.
But that wasn't in GQ magazine called. And I, this is a pretty funny story. I, again, I'm a farm boy, man. I'm like a Ramona kid, you know, but even more so far like farm town in 1000.

(05:57):
And I roll up to Universal Studios and sitting in there as the Reverend Al Sharpton, Reverend Al Sharpton, limo pulls up, out rolls Tommy Lee from Motley Crue.
So I'm like, what? I'm doing a photo shoot with Tommy Lee. I'm like, come on, man. This is cool. And Reverend Al Sharpton, but like, yeah, GQ magazine, People magazine, like a lot of crazy stuff, but definitely interesting times for sure.

(06:23):
So you see partied with some rock stars. Oh gosh. Yeah. Yeah. Cocaine's a hell of a drug. Like I said, I was like, yeah, I already got the title.
I guess it's pretty hard to quit, quit doing that kind of stuff. You know, like, yeah, you know what I guess, you know, and again, I'm not putting anybody down, you know, like, I mean, it's a, it's hard for all of us.

(06:45):
I mean, I mean, I don't do it anymore. I'm, you know, 50 years old now, but I do understand, you know, I understand like how you get in that stuff. I mean, it's just hard not to, especially that lifestyle, you know, you're living fast and furious, making lots of cash and everything's at your fingertips.
Go, go, go, go, go. Yeah. Quitting a gram of cocaine a day sounds a lot easier when you're on a gram of cocaine a day.

(07:12):
No, but I don't want you guys to listen. I haven't, I haven't done that stuff in a long time, at least since last weekend. So it's been quite a while. 20 years. 20 years. Nothing this morning.
We're good. No, no, but that's then I started a fitness company after that called Gut Check Fitness. So Nick and my wife and I, we've had a fitness company here in San Diego for I guess about 20 years now.

(07:34):
And our main goal is just inspire and motivate people and try to get them, you know, healthy, active and fit and for people dealing with drug addiction or drug problems and stuff like that, try to, you know, just show them like, hey, there's another world outside of, you know, just chasing the next fucking high.
You know, it's like, it's a hard day. It's hard for a lot of people. And a lot of you work with a lot of veterans and into that Gut Check thing. We do. It's funny. The Gut Check Fitness came.

(07:59):
God was trying to find a name for our company. And of course, every, every fitness person wants to name it after himself. You know, like Denise Austin actually did work with Denise for a while. But my mom had Denise Austin videos growing up.
I actually worked with Denise for a while. My mom was watching. What's his name? The Simmons guy. Oh, yeah. Yeah. My mom had Denise Austin and of all people share workout video sweating to the oldies. Yeah.

(08:28):
So tell me about these, the Gut Check events that you do. So we, we started doing them here in San Diego. And again, basically just get people out there. It's all outdoors because I believe that we're solar powered creatures. You know, I mean, and I knew when I was, you know, and then drugs are really bad back in the time.
As soon as you out in the sunlight, man, like you're alive, you feel good and you feel energized. So Gut Check, we do all outdoor fitness events. We're actually an international company. We host events in Australia. We host events here in the all around the United States.

(09:00):
We do a lot of work. I mean, being a veteran, I was with the Army with the Airborne Infantry with the 82nd to begin with and then the 10th Mountain Division.
And, you know, just gave me a lot, instilled a lot of just good stuff in me. And we try to host events to inspire and motivate and get people out there and get them active and get them healthy. And also to raise awareness for like charities.

(09:21):
So we do an event up here in Ramona, April 26, the Rona 5K at Backcountry Gardens. Excuse me. And we work with Challenge Athletes Foundation, the military side called Operation Rebound. And it's not top heavy. So it actually the money goes directly to give these young men and women, legs and limbs and stuff like that and getting back out there and on the path to recovery.

(09:43):
Yeah, man. That's pretty cool. And you do stuff. So you said you're like nationwide worldwide. Worldwide. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. How's that? Oh, well, number one, everything in fucking Australia can kill you. Yeah. Yeah. I got a good story about Australia.
We're down in the mountain, the Maribyong Gorge, and we're hosting an event. Well, it then fortunately, which is sad, a lot of fires going in LA right now, but a lot of fires down there and we're out hosting an event. And Nick is always like at HQ. I got people swimming.

(10:16):
Another fucking crazy thing about Australians, like when they get tired of their cars, they like recommend lakes down there. Like they just, there was tons of cars in this lake. I had them swimming across there and there's cars floating everywhere and shit.
So I go out about about a couple kilometers down and out of nowhere, I hear and I'm not afraid of shit in the woods because I grew up in the dark and I hear somebody crashing through the through the brush. It's like, boom, boom, boom. And I'm like, nope.

(10:39):
I'm like, it's motherfucking King Kong.
And I'm on this little trail in the dark and all of a sudden out jumps a seven foot red and it's one of those kangaroos. This son of a bitch is flexing and it's going.
And those kangaroos are jacked up. I've seen them. They're like six packs. I'm like, what? That's a son of a bitch had a case. It was like a 24 pack and it was like Rick and big old talents like six inch talent.

(11:05):
And I called Nick. I'm like code black code black. And that means like we changed to another radio frequency and she's like, what? What's going on? I said, you ain't going to believe this shit.
There's a kangaroo and his motherfucking ass is on fire. And she's like, what? I'm like, no, the fire had started. He jumped to the fire. So like rabbits start fire.
Kangaroo start fired on air. So his ass is burning and I see a little wisp of smoke and fire like on his tail. And he said, look at me and I'm looking at him. And I was like, Edward Moons to scream.

(11:31):
I'm like, I can't scream. Finally. He just like looked at me and went boom into the end of the brush and started more fires. But that was like, no, no, no, no, no. First, first.
He's dragging his ass through the woods. I forget the story. No, no, actually he starts spinning in a fucking circle, trying to put his ass out because they can't stop drop and roll. Like T-Rex arms. So he can't pat his butt. So he starts spinning.

(11:55):
Dust devil comes up and then boom kangaroo goes in. So that's when I called her. I'm like, you ain't gonna believe this kangaroo was ass on fire. Just like, don't bring anyone down this way.
Oh man. Oh dude. So you, you, you, uh, you support a lot of the music here in Ramona. Like I see you guys always at the, uh, all the shows over at Ramona ranch winery.

(12:21):
Pomo when they're in town.
Yes.
In town.
Well, you know, living, living downtown. Um, I mean, we enjoy living downtown as you guys know, like, I mean, it's, it's a lot though, living in city and being a country boy and, uh, you know, from small town.
We, we've been coming up here for, uh, since we moved here. I mean, it's Ramona feels like home for us and the music scene. It's really been amazing to see over the past, like few years.

(12:46):
How like, you know, with Travis, like with, with you, like we've been following you forever. Like, you know, back in the day of motor ranch and now with Ashley and with Thea and with Michael Goodrich and Craig.
And I mean, the music scenes just, just blown up up here and it's, it's, we love it. Like for all the downhill people are missing out on this stuff up here.
Heck yeah, dude. So check it out. We're going to have our, uh, our 50th episode. This is a, what is this? 38? I think it's 38, right?

(13:12):
Yeah. I lose count.
Let's be our 38th episode. I think.
38th special.
Oh yeah, there you go.
So the 50th episode is going to be, uh, April 13th and we definitely going to have to have you come and hang out with us on that day. We're going to start at noon and we're going to go until I can't hold my head up anymore.
So about three o'clock.
Everyone get there early.

(13:33):
From noon to about noon 30.
No, you guys are doing a great thing. I mean, we, we love like we listen to Ramona radio down on our deck and in San Diego and you know, everything that Eric and Cassie and all you guys are doing. It's just a, it's amazing. You guys have definitely you've upped the game here.
You really brought a lot to this community and put Ramona on the map.
Definitely.

(13:54):
Hell yeah. All right, man. Well, this is a music show. We were outlaw country.
Uh, what's, what's your, uh, what's, what's your genre music country?
Oh man. Yeah. Outlaw country. I grew up on, you know, Dwight. Well, not really that much outlaw, but like Johnny cash, Johnny cash is my thing. Uh, the possum. I mean, I've seen, I've seen him in concert a couple of times.
George Jones. Yeah. No show. Jones. Yeah. No show.

(14:19):
Did you ever see that video of that, of him getting, uh, I don't know if he was getting arrested or if he was just getting like a speeding ticket or something like that, but he was pissed drunk.
The guy's on the guy's filming him and he's like, you're trying to slap the camera out of his hand.
The cop was like, no, come on, man. Come on.

(14:41):
He did that song about riding his riding lawnmower because his wife wouldn't drive him to drink.
Uh, good old George Jones. All right. So King of country. I think you know who my King of country is. That would be Hank Williams, senior. Who would yours be Johnny cash? Johnny cash. I'm a man in black is that's acceptable.

(15:02):
Yeah. As long as you didn't say George straight. We're good. No, I don't mind George. I mean, Johnny, you know, like the highway man, Johnny, Willie, Wayland, Chris, you know, I mean, Chris, whatever, you know, he went to Hollywood, but he's okay.
Yeah. Yeah. The only one alive now is Willie Nelson. Yeah, he's the only one still kicking. That's why I'm crazy. Yeah. So let's listen to some George Jones.

(15:30):
Ask him, you should receive. Oh, thank you.
Has it been a year since the last time I've seen my God, I could swear it was 10 and the ocean liquor.

(16:02):
I drank to forget her is gonna kill me. But I'll drink till then.
I've been living in hell with a bar for myself. Still paying for my cheating.
Oh, I've got a long way to go. Still do.

(16:33):
Still do.
Forgiven.
Each morning I wake up and I find still do in time.

(17:13):
Oh, when you're cups even twice, it's 20 to life in a place where the sun never shines.
And tomorrow you're gonna find me right here still do in time.

(17:37):
Still do in time.
Forgiven.
Each morning I wake up and I find still do in time. Still do in time.

(18:24):
When the sun goes down on my side of town, that awesome feeling comes to my door and the whole world turns blue.
There's a rundown bar across the railroad track. I've got a table for two way in the back where I sit alone and think of losing you.

(19:01):
I spend most every night beneath the light of a neon moon.
If you lose your warning on lip, there's always relief for the lonely.
To watch your broken dreams dance in and out of the beams of a neon moon.

(19:30):
I think of two young lovers running wild and free. I close my eyes and sometimes see you in the shadows of the smoke filled room.
Don't tellin' how many tears I've sat here and cried. How many lies that I've lied. Tellin' my poor heart, I wish you'd come back someday.

(20:06):
Oh, and I'll be alright as long as there's light from a neon moon.
If you lose your warning on lip, there's always room here for the lonely.

(20:54):
The jukebox plays on drink by drink. The words of every sad song seem to say what I think.
This hurting side of me ain't ever going.
Oh, but I'll be alright as long as there's light from a neon moon.

(21:22):
Oh, if you lose your warning on lip, there's always room here for the lonely.

(22:11):
Ooh.

(22:36):
Yeah, I'm chillin' on the dirt road. The late back's workin' like I'm George Jones.
Smoke rollin' out the window and ice cold beer sittin' in the console.
Memory laid up in the headlights has got me reminiscing on the good times.

(22:58):
I'm turnin' off a real life drive and that's right, I'm hittin' easy street on wood tires.
Back in the day, Potts Farm was the place to go. Load the truck up, hit the dirt road.
Jumped the barbed wire, spread the word, light the bonfire, then called the girls.
King in the can and the Marlboro Man. Jack and Jim were a few good men.
We learned how to kiss and cuss and fight too. Better watch out for the boys in blue.

(23:22):
In all this small town, he said, she said, ain't it funny how rumors spread?
Like I know something y'all don't know. Man, that talk is gettin' old.
You better mind your business, man. Watch your mouth, or I'll have to knock that loudmouth out.
I'm tired of talkin', man, you ain't listenin'. The motor road is what y'all listen.
I'm chillin' on a dirt road. Laid back, swervin' like I'm George Rose.

(23:44):
Smoke rollin' out the window at ice cold beer sittin' in the console.
I'm turning off a real life drive, and that's right, I'm hitting easy street on the tires.

(24:07):
I sit back and think about them good old days, the way we were raised in our southern ways.
And we like cornbread and biscuits, and if it's broke round here, we fix it.
I can take y'all where you need to go, down to my hood, back in them woods.
We do it different round here, that's right, but we sure do it good, and we do it all night.
See, if you really wanna know how it feels to get off the road trucks and four wheels,
jump on in, and man, tell your friends, we're racing hell with a blacktop in.

(24:30):
I'm chillin' on a dirt road. Laid back, swervin' like I'm George Rose.

(24:52):
I'm turnin' off a real-life drive, and that's right, I'm hitting easy street on the tires.
That's right.
I'm chillin' on a dirt road. Laid back, swervin' like I'm George Jones.

(25:22):
I'm turnin' off a real-life drive, and that's right, I'm hitting easy street on the tires.

(25:44):
That's right.
Alright, we're back.
We're hanging out with Joe Decker, the fittest man in the world.

(26:09):
Sounds so cheesy when you say it.
We could do like the Doseckis get the most interesting man in the world.
We're trying to get Doseckis sponsors, so there you go.
Gentleman Jack hasn't reached out yet.
Gentleman Jack hasn't reached out yet because we're drinking that.
We have 38 bottles.

(26:34):
Oh man, so we're going to give a shout out to our sponsor, one of our sponsors.
Real quick, Dean from Outlaw BBQ, if you ever, have you had some?
Oh my God, yes.
Oh yeah, dude.
Good stuff.
My guy makes the meats.
Nobody likes to party with salads, they gotta have the meats.
Hit up Dean from Outlaw BBQ, A58-354-7712.

(26:55):
Give him a call.
He'll set you up with a party, a backyard party or a barbecue, whatever you gotta do.
Up to 150 people.
Hey, speaking of barbecue, I saw a thing the other day, an article, it said,
you go in any cave, you look cave paintings, no one ever painted a salad.
Nope.
Is it true?
No, no.
They're roasting pigs.
They're roasting meat.
There's buffaloes.

(27:16):
Woolly mammoth, Saber Deer Tiger.
Mountain lion.
Nobody painted a salad.
Nobody ever painted a salad.
Hey look guys, we're taking these leaves off these trees and we're going to eat them.
Or smoke them.
Or smoke these leaves.
Well, they did that.
They figured it out.
That's what made them hungry and they wanted the meat.

(27:37):
They figured out the special one.
Willie's been around for a long time.
All right, so we heard a story about an outfit that you got for being on the,
what was that, the People magazine?
No, the GQ.
The GQ.
What was the outfit?
You know, again guys, it's interesting.

(27:58):
Again, you know, being a country boy and not being exposed to the LA lifestyle or the
Hollywood lifestyle.
When I got up to Universal Studios, I told you Reverend Al Sharpton's there and Tommy
Lee's there and I'm there.
So I'm sitting there in the green room getting ready to go out for the photo shoot and they
bring out a big rack of clothes.

(28:21):
So Reverend Al Sharpton, they pull out a purple jumpsuit, like not stereotypical, like hey,
it's going to be black man, purple.
I know, right?
Go ahead and give him that.
This is 20 years ago, you know, so it was damn good looking purple jumpsuits.
We got a purple jumpsuit and I'm like, damn, all right.
So Tommy Lee, they give him like leather, all leather flowing like a rock star.

(28:42):
And I'm like, damn, you know, cause I shop at like TJ Maxx and Marshalls.
I'm at the pick and save with the 99 cent stores.
I'd wait for blue light specials at Walmart to get my clothes and they pull up the rack
for me.
And it's a goddamn, it's a bikini.
It's like a leather bikini for men.
And they're like, no man, it's a loincloth.

(29:04):
I'm like, I ain't wearing no fucking loincloth.
I'm not Tarzan.
I'm like, no, it's what they said.
They said, yeah, you're like Tarzan.
And so they hand me a loincloth and I'm like, no, man, I'm not really comfortable wearing
a bikini on a photo shoot.
And they're like, no, it's a loincloth.
I'm like, fuck you.
Semantics my ass.
It's fucking, it's a bikini.
But then a guy comes out and he goes, he looks at me and then look at me, he looked through

(29:25):
me and he said, uh-uh, it can't wear the bikini or can't wear the loincloth.
And I'm like, excuse me?
And he goes, no, it's too hairy.
And I'm like, it's too hairy.
Like, yeah, it needs to shave its body.
You're like, I have a name.
Yeah.
And I'm like, well, number one, don't call me fucking it.
But says it's too hairy.
It needs to shave its body.
I said, well, I'm a man.

(29:46):
I don't shave my damn body.
I don't shave my arms.
I don't shave my legs and shit like that.
And I'm like, I don't shave my legs.
I don't shave my face.
You know, every now and then said, new.
And so my, uh, publicist was there and he said, well, he said, you need to shave your
body.
I'm like, I am not shaving my damn body.
I like, nope, I'm not doing it.
Well, finally he's like, Hey, you're going to be in GQ magazine.
I just published a book at the time.
He's like, you want to sell books.
You want to do this, whatever, like you do, whatever they tell you to do.

(30:07):
And uh, so the guy that called me, it came over and said, here, this is for it.
And gave me like a razor and stuff.
So I shaved my, my shave, my arms and chest and stuff like that.
And then he goes, well, he said, it needs a shave his legs.
I'm like, God damn, you can stop calling me it.
You motherfucker.
Like seriously, it has a name.
Are you calling Tommy Lee and I'll sharpen it?
No, no, apparently a guy shops and Marshall's and he's called it.

(30:32):
But, um, so I'm like, I'm not shaving legs.
Well, what they did when I finally did put the bikini on loin cloth or whatever, and
they did a photo shoot, they, uh, they, um, made my legs look so hairy.
I look like pan, like the Greek God that had like herbs and shit like that.
So when the, when the magazine came out, every, every one of my friends came to me like, man,

(30:52):
great photo shoot, whatever, dude, why didn't you shave your legs?
I'm like, fuck you.
Oh man, I was shaving my legs.
Well, it gets better.
I went back to the farm.
My parents have a hundred acre farm in the Midwest and a very, very country.
I mean, very country, very rural.
And you know, all my friends back there, you didn't shave your legs.
I'm like, all right, man, that's it.

(31:12):
So one night I'm properly tuned up at about a fifth of wild turkey one-on-one and I walk
in the bathroom and I get my old man's razor out and I'm sitting her butt ass naked and
I'm shaving, shaving my, my nether parts and shaving my ass.
And my old man opens up the door and looks at me and I got his razor shaving my balls.

(31:35):
We made high contact and he never said a word about it ever.
And like since that day,
Well, just throw that in the trash when you're done.
Yeah.
Just go dispose of that.
Well, just so you know, if that ever comes up and you need to do that again, we can hook
you up with a waxer.
She does that ass crack and sack.

(31:58):
We have a person.
So if ever the opportunity presents itself again, we'll set you up with Julie.
Can I get a bleaching tube?
Julie, do you do bleaching?
Let us know.
We got some business coming for you.
Oh man.
So growing up in the country, man, how old were you when you learned how to drive?

(32:20):
Oh, I've been driving as long as I could walk.
My grandfather was a World War II vet and we actually lived on part of his farm.
So I was sitting on his lap and drive.
I mean, I've been driving tractors, combines, I do, you know, three on, three on the, whatever
the hell, three on the tree.
Yeah.

(32:41):
I've been riding motorcycles and driving farm equipment since forever.
Right on.
Right on.
First car.
What was your first car?
Was it a teenager?
I would imagine it.
67 Mustang, 67 Mustang.
Was it decked out or was it a clunk?
It was pretty ghetto.
I think that might.
Yeah, it was.
It had been beat up pretty bad, but you know, I put a lot of work into it.

(33:02):
Missing a couple of windows, brakes barely worked all the way to the floor.
302, but I probably get it up.
I went to Kmart, got that Krakow speaker.
Remember back in the day, you could have like 29, 99, eight track day deck and bumping some
whale engine.
Exactly.

(33:22):
Oh man.
That's so fun.
First cars are always a, always a fun thing to talk about.
I had a first car, which was a Jeep, 1973.
Oh, nice.
Steering wheel popped off while I was driving on the highway.
My first car.
Well, I've said this before.
I didn't get a driver's license until I was 29 years old.

(33:44):
I don't like to drive.
I was terrified.
But my first car was a Suzuki Verona and it was my grandma's car and I got it after she
passed away.
But the speedometer didn't work.
It was 15.
Like, so if you're going, if it said you were going 45, you're going 30.
So I was like 15 miles off.
So I always had to check and I got pulled over one time and I was speeding and the officer
goes, uh, do you know how fast you were going?

(34:07):
When I pulled you over, I said, I can honestly say I don't, but I know I was going too fast.
Probably too fast.
I'm going to assume faster than you would like to.
Yeah.
Joe, have you ever been arrested?
Uh, multiple times.
Same.
Been to jail?

(34:27):
Uh, multiple times.
Same.
Yeah.
All right.
Well, cheers to that.
Same.
Yeah.
Not all of us.
I was going to say not all.
I had never been to jail.
Never been to jail.
Never been handcuffed.
Oh, you never, you never had a cold bologna sandwich about two o'clock in the morning
and a warm carton of milk.
The closest I ever came to being arrested had nothing to do with me.

(34:51):
I was with people that I'd worked with and we were in Del Mar.
The company that I used to work for was known for these extravagant company outings and
we would do charter buses to the Del Mar fair and all this.
So it was after a day at the fair and we were hanging out in Del Mar having dinner and a
friend of mine, her sister was talking to this gentleman that she didn't think she should
be talking to and started getting crazy and we were walking to our car and she was screaming

(35:15):
and just putting on a whole thing and the cops came over and questioned her and then
she was, you know, amped up.
So she started yelling at the cops and so they handcuffed her.
And so we're trying to talk to them like, can we just, we're going to get a cab?
Can we, and she's being crazy and the cop was like, you all need to go sit on that bench
and we'll figure this out.
If one of you gets up, you're next in handcuffs.
And so we all just sat there and her sister was able to finally like, no one wants to

(35:38):
go to jail tonight.
We don't want to have to bail you out.
Like, let's just cool it.
And finally the cab came and when the police officer saw the cab, she was like, can we
please like just put her in the cab and can we please leave?
And they were like, okay, don't say another word.
She didn't say anything.
We got in the car and left and that was a close.
And so that had nothing to do with me, but that was as close as I've ever gotten.
You almost got handcuffed sweet curbs.

(35:59):
I would have, I'm such a pussy.
I would have cried.
Like, no, for sure.
And especially at that point, I was like 22 years old.
I would have like, I for sure would have like just started crying and been like, this is
it.
This is life of crime starts here.
This is my life.
I'm getting handcuffed.
Kirby in there with her little tin cup on the bars.
Yeah, right.

(36:19):
Could you imagine, dude, I would not do well in prison.
I'm too nice.
They would just beat me up.
They just put you in a holding cell.
There's people that say, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
yeah.
But I'm like, no, Jail's different.
Jail's different.
Yeah.
I've never been to prison.
Never been incarcerated.
Thank God.
I've been to the tank a couple of times.

(36:41):
Not a big deal.
It's funny, going to the tank as a world's fittest man.
I actually, one Halloween years ago I got pulled over and had to go to the drunk tank
and I was dressed up as myself the world's fittest man.
I tell you one good thing about it people don't fuck with you.
Who are you supposed to be?
Myself.

(37:02):
That's funny.
I actually had on my medals and a t-shirt and this and I know guys I tell a lot of stories
I'm not a complete derelict I just play one on TV but I actually do a lot of good things
but one night I went to the drunk tank and I was dressed up as a world's best man and
I'm sitting in a drunk tank the people sitting next to me and I'm like get the fuck away
get the fuck away everybody just stay away.

(37:22):
And then enrolls a dude dressed in drag do not go to the drink tank dressed in drag.
That's not a good thing.
Do you have some sweats like maybe some something I can borrow a pair of shorts?
Before you send me in here can I change real quick?
All the cops are placing bets on how long you're gonna last.

(37:46):
It was not a good night for that young lady.
That is funny.
You ever see that guy with that tattoos he's he got nipples tattooed on his butt cheeks
and then a lady on his back so it looks like his butt was in the boobs.
In prison you got that?

(38:07):
Terrible time to go to prison for that.
Oh man you don't want to go to prison like that.
He thought you were talking about he got it in jail.
No there's a bad bad life decisions especially if you go to jail or something like that.

(38:27):
So what's your what's your beverage man what's your normal go-to what are you drinking right
now?
You know I pretty much stick with wine.
I love wine up here right now just doing a little Aperol spritz get it started off but
I used to drink a lot of whiskey.
Yeah the second time I rolled my car.
The second time you roll your car?
The second time I rolled my car.
You and Travis really have a lot in common and starting to scare me a little bit.

(38:50):
The unfortunate thing is second time I rolled my car was on the same night and when the
cops came I just finished off a handle of wild turkey.
You rolled two cars in one night?
One car and I rolled it twice.
Oh so the first time was okay the second time's where the trouble started.
The first time it landed on its wheels.
The first time was an easy roll so I'd finished off a fifth and a half of wild turkey 101

(39:12):
and this is right after I got out of the military and you know I get a little crazy after the
military and being airborne infantry and you know all that stuff and back at a back visiting
some family and I just got a brand new Ford Explorer like $30,000 car leaving the bar
because I well I got kicked out I had to leave the bar but leaving the bar and I've been

(39:34):
there yeah.
Similarities keep on coming.
As I'm driving back to my parents farm there was black ice in my defense so I hit the black
ice going about a hundred and just mildly rolled it onto its side.
Mildly.
Mildly rolled it and a tow truck driver come up and like pulled me over pulled me out and
he's like all right man like it's all good.

(39:55):
Well I took off and about two miles down the road I rolled it properly like end over end
over end and smashed the top down blew the windows out and all the cops came.
The only thing it busted well when it busted me it was a tow truck driver pulled up in
the cops where he's like I just pulled you out man.
I was pulling him out half an hour ago.
Shut up.

(40:16):
Come on be cool.
Shut up bro be cool.
I'm like come on man you busted brother out.
But it smashed the top of my car down and the windshield everything so the top of the
car was only about six inches above my head.
So when I got up out of there luckily one of the police officers I'd gone to high school
with and he's like hey let's send all the cops away and he's like hey man he's like

(40:37):
I can't do anything worse than you than you've done to yourself right now and he's like you
just smashed the hell out of your brand new car.
But he's like you need to start thinking about like maybe stop drinking whiskey or stop driving.
Whatever bro don't tell me how to live.
I figured it was either stop drinking whiskey or I had to drive so that's why I gave up
whiskey.
Pretty much wine only.
I haven't rolled a car since.

(40:59):
Haven't rolled any cars on wine.
It's funny because we travel all over the place and guys will be like I don't want whiskey
and I'm like brother I'd love that whiskey but my boss won't let me.
She knows better.
Fair.
We all need someone to keep us in line.
Oh man.
Oh jeez.

(41:20):
Good stuff.
So you know the intro to our show where Kirby talks about the the under hole.
Yeah.
You know what I'm talking about?
It's not anything dirty.
A lot of people ask about that.
It's like what is it the under hole?
I got us twice last week.
Willie Nelson's under hole specifically.
What's up with Willie Nelson's under hole?
It's about Willie Nelson's guitar.
The name of the guitar is Trigger.
That's what he calls it.

(41:40):
And there's a second sound hole in the guitar because it's an old ass guitar.
He's had it for.
Well it's the only guitar he plays.
It's like a 1954 I think something Martin classical guitar.
And he's played it forever and his fingers have worn a hole in the bottom of you know
the guitar.
And then there's the sound hole and then there's the under one.

(42:03):
That's the under hole was born.
Thus the under hole was born.
Alright so we ask everybody the king of country where to set Johnny Cash.
So sweet herbs.
Who's your queen of country?
Well I'd say my favorite.
I don't know if you call her Patsy Klein.

(42:24):
That's a good one.
We've gotten a fair amount of Patsy Klein.
That's acceptable.
I mean you can't beat little Dolly like Jolene and stuff like that.
Dolly's my queen.
Dolly's a lot of people's queens.
Patsy also.
You know Patsy for that short time she was around she made a difference.
You know what I'm saying?
She just was amazing.

(42:44):
There's not a Patsy Klein song that's bad.
Any song you play is like.
And obviously Patsy Klein doesn't have.
She passed away young.
To me Dolly's the queen because she has longevity.
That's agreed you know across how many decades and still today making music.
Well Loretta Lynn too.
Loretta Lynn.
I love Loretta Lynn.
I love Loretta Lynn.

(43:05):
Cole Weiner's daughter.
You can't go wrong with that.
Oh yeah Loretta Lynn.
I can't.
Conway Twitty.
Oh man.
Loretta Lynn.
Yeah.
Conway Twitty.
I did a song with Chloe.
You know Chloe.
Yeah yeah yeah.
I just I've told the story before but not to you.
She messaged me.
We were supposed to do a duo thing and I was driving back from KQ campground.

(43:26):
We were doing a gig and it was late and I just happened to see the text message.
And she's all do you know you're the reason our kids are ugly.
And I'm like what the fuck is she talking about.
That was rude.
Are you are you talking.
Did you butt message me.
It was a song.
I was like it's a damn funny song.
It's a funny song.
It's a great song.

(43:49):
Oh good stuff.
So when's your next when's your next adventure.
Well our next adventure I think I talked about the event we do the and Luka Bach.
Well we do we do with April 26 we have an event which we'd love all of Ramona to come
out to.
It's at Backcountry Gardens across from Ramona Ranch Winery.
We'll have Ramona radio there.

(44:10):
We'll have Nomadic Pizza Trolley across the street.
We raise money for a veterans organization as part of Challenge Athletes Foundation.
It's called Operation Rebound.
They give limbs to the young men and women that you know come back from unfortunate places.
And it's just a good time.
We have a beer mile a charity beer mile.
We do that in the beer mile.

(44:31):
You got to break down the beer.
I'm kind of interested in this last year.
It's actually so there's not I tried to motivate him last year to do it.
So with the promise of the beer mile.
So the beer mile is we actually we have a sponsor smoking cannon sponsors for that too.

(44:51):
And you can do it.
You can do individually you can do two person you do four person and you have to chug a
beer and then you run 400 meters down back like 200 meters down back chug another beer
down the back.
So you basically drink four beers you run a mile or the two person team you do two and
two or four person team you do one beer and whatever.
But again it's just all for charity.

(45:12):
So it all goes straight back to the operation rebound to run on.
Yeah to help these guys.
So yeah you can find more information at gut check fitness dot com find our events on there.
We do that one in Ramona and then I do we do a lot of patriotic stuff.
I mean which is perfect for this radio show.
Then we believe and go to Anthem Arizona.

(45:34):
We do a flag run not mandatory but kind of mandatory.
Everybody runs for the flags.
We have like a couple hundred people carrying flags and Black Canyon and that goes back
towards the local American Legion there the Daisy Mountain vets.
And then we go to Lucan Bach and we do one in Lucan Bach which is for Operation Song
which is right up you guys' alley.
They have vets come in and they tell their story about where they served and what the

(45:57):
pain and trauma they've been through.
And then they have professional country music artists actually put it to music.
So yeah that's pretty cool.
Yeah.
We do we do that all over and we ran out Hell Michigan.
We just do a lot of fun stuff.
You know I got a lot of stuff now just raise awareness and support the men and women that
have put their life on the line for this country.
And you know freedom is not free.

(46:17):
So exactly man.
Yeah.
So we had Steve Talley on the show a couple weeks ago and he participated in the in the
in the five day last year.
I think you got second place.
He got second.
He's very upset about it.
He's so frustrated about that.
He's like I will get first.
That dude that got first last year.
He was a rocket.
Yeah.
It was a rocket.

(46:38):
Yeah it's cool because I mean I don't I'm not a big fan of like doing normal shit as
you guys can play imagine.
So I like going to places where things are a little bit you know interesting and so like
but backcountry gardens like I mean there's actually you climb up a waterfall you go through
the water like up and down hills.
Luke and Bach there's kids have been jumping in this little river and there's rope swings

(47:02):
there and I have the adults do it.
And it's like it's so weird because as we get older we become fucking crotchety and
like we don't want to get our shoes wet.
We don't get our hair wet or clothes wet or whatever.
I'm like you know what guys I'm like hey you know what at one time you were 10 years old
when you were 10 years old pretend like you're 10.
Yeah that's what I say when you were 10 years old you saw a hill you'd roll down it you
saw mud puddle your ass would jump in it you saw a new kid on the fucking playground

(47:25):
you go up and say hi.
Why can't we just need to live like we're 10 years old.
So that's a lot of our motto for the events and stuff that we do.
It's like you know never grow old and growing up is growing old is mandatory but growing
up is optional.
True.
Have you ever seen that movie Revenge of the Nerds.
Oh yeah.
You know that race they do with the tricycles and they're drinking beer they have to chug

(47:46):
a beer per lap.
That's kind of like that's kind of like the beer bottle we do.
I know and that's good beer that's smoking cannon beer that's not like Coors Light or
anything like that.
That's that high power stuff.
We might even do a whiskey mile this year just for you Travis.
Okay if you're doing whiskey I'm in.
She tried to get me to do it last year but I said here's what would happen I said if

(48:09):
you ever see me running just kill whatever's chasing me.
About 400 meters in Travis is going to pass out on the trail.
I'm going to be like laying there I need a shot.
I need whiskey.
Oh Mickey.
You're so dumb.
Or a big fucking kangaroo is chasing you.

(48:29):
With its ass on fire.
We need to read some kangaroos out here.
Well what I thought of when you said about that kangaroo I just saw this video on Facebook
and I guess was probably in Australia or something but it was this guy that his dog had gone
into the water and a kangaroo was attacking it and the kangaroo came out of the water
and the dude was like holy fuck that's a jacked kangaroo.

(48:52):
Like he was like contemplating like do I just let him take my dog.
Like what do I do.
Because I mean this I'm not kidding he looked like a professional boxer in a kangaroo costume.
Like he was jacked.
Yeah they're muscley man.
Oh they're big.
And I was like holy moly.
It's like a big rat.
And they're not they're not scared of much either them kangaroos.

(49:12):
No no no no.
I like there's another video floating around where the kangaroo had gotten a hold of the
guy's dog and he ran over to it and just punched it.
Punched that kangaroo in the face and that kangaroo was taking those hits.
If I looked like Michael Clark Duncan I would not be afraid of a lot either.
They're big but they're not very fast.
Alright so.
I don't know are they.

(49:32):
They're fast too.
Alright so Loretta Lynn and.
Patsy Cline.
Patsy Cline.
Alright let's do a Patsy Cline song.
Oh ask and you shall receive.
I go out walking after midnight out in the moonlight.
Just like we used to do.

(49:56):
I'm always walking after midnight searching for you.
I walk for miles along the highway.
Well that's just my way of saying I love you.
I'm always walking after midnight searching for you.

(50:23):
I stop to see a weeping willow crying on his pillow.
Maybe he's crying for me.
And as the skies turn gloomy.
Night wind whispered to me.
I'm lonesome as I can be.

(50:48):
Just hoping you may be somewhere on walking after midnight searching for me.
I stop to see a weeping willow crying on his pillow.
Maybe he's crying for me.
And as the skies turn gloomy.

(51:12):
Night wind whispered to me.
I'm lonesome as I can be.
Just hoping you may be somewhere on walking after midnight searching for me.

(51:50):
Blue moon of Kentucky keep on shining.
Shine on the one that's gone and proved untrue.
Shine on the one that's gone and left me blue.

(52:17):
It was on a moonlight night.
The stars were shining bright.
And they whispered from on high.
Your lover said goodbye.

(52:38):
Shine on the one that's gone and said goodbye.

(53:08):
Shine on the one that's gone and proved untrue.

(53:32):
Shine on the one that's gone and left me blue.

(54:02):
It was on a moonlight night.
The stars were shining bright.
And they whispered from on high.
Your lover said goodbye.

(54:28):
Shine on the one that's gone and said goodbye.
Love is a burning thing.
And it makes a fiery ring.

(54:54):
And I was overwhelmed by wild desire.
I fell into a ring of fire.
I fell into a burning ring of fire.
I went down, down, down.
And the flames went higher.
And it burns, burns, burns.

(55:17):
The ring of fire.

(55:38):
The ring of fire.
The ring of fire.
The taste of love is sweet.

(56:01):
When hearts like ours meet.
They're like a child.
Oh, but the fire went wild.

(56:23):
The ring of fire.
The ring of fire.
The ring of fire.
The ring of fire.

(57:05):
Sweet Curbs with a Twinkle in the High.
We got Sweet Curbs' Critters Corner.
Critters!
What do you got for us today Sweet Curbs on the Critter Corner?
So Critter Corner comes to you today with asking, I shouldn't say with, asking for advice.

(57:30):
We are struggling in our home with the problem of woodpeckers surrounding the entire perimeter
of our house and we wake up every morning to aggressively and obnoxiously and it doesn't
stop.
Is that Travis in the bathroom or is that the murder?
No, that's the woodpeckers.

(57:50):
It's not my woodpecker but it's the woodpeckers.
And so obviously Critter Corner, Kirby loves animals, we don't want to harm anything, but
how do I get these absolute annoyance of woodpeckers to stop pecking on the entirety of the outside
of my house?
And particularly on the bedroom wall side.

(58:11):
That doesn't matter because it echoes throughout the whole house wherever it is.
It's not like it's at 4 o'clock in the afternoon when it doesn't matter and you're just hanging
out.
It's like at 6, 37 o'clock in the morning on a Saturday when you can sleep in and you
don't need an alarm clock because...
It sounds like somebody's knocking on the walls.
Well when it first started happening, there were a couple times where I was like kind

(58:34):
of incoherent like it had woken me up out of my sleep and I literally said, who's there,
come in?
And then I like start to wake up and I'm like, oh, there's no one at my door.
That is the woodpecker.
I think they're pissed off because they hear that noise every night when they're trying
to go to bed and you and Travis are...
Right?
Right?
There, ba dum bum.
But if you have any advice, please send us an email and let us know how to solve this

(58:56):
problem humanely.
Humanely.
I have BB guns.
Well, and I have said that in the heat of the moment in the morning.
I'm like, I'm going to kill them.
I just want them dead.
I don't.
I love all living animals.
So if we can solve this in a nonviolent way, that would be great.
It only takes one.
The rest will get the message.
No?
I thought we should put netting because then at least even if they get caught, I would

(59:19):
go pull them out and then you think they would learn.
But I don't know.
Oh, I don't know.
I know I went out there one morning with just flip flops on with a BB gun.
And you were looking for a coyote, not the not the...
No, I was trying to go for the bird.
No, it was when you were out of town.
They're too fast, though.
The second you come around that corner, I know they hear you and they take off to the

(59:40):
tree.
They got the little acorns and it's crazy, dude.
The side of the house looks like...
There's like little anywhere from a dime to a quarter size holes all over the side of
our house.
You got to stop that.
That's the other thing.
Yeah.
We need vinyl.
Any vinyl guys out there?
Some titanium walls, right?

(01:00:01):
We need a bunker.
Turn the house to do it.
We can make a woodpecker atrium.
We have 86 acres.
Sweet Curbs wants to build a house for them now.
I didn't say buy our house.
We can build it very far away.
Be a little sanctuary.
How do I get rid of these?
I'll just build them a house.
A catch and release program.
We catch and release them into the sanctuary.
You just build a little decoy house over there.
Very far from our house.

(01:00:24):
A good wooden decoy house.
We could do that.
Make a little thing for them.
Don't go here.
Go there.
We'll put little signs up that say woodpeckers only and then they'll go.
You know those deer crossing signs.
We're not welcome here anymore.
Better find somewhere new.
They're getting mad.
It's like those deer crossing signs.

(01:00:47):
Cross right here.
Here's another thing.
I had really never seen a woodpecker up close until we moved where we live and now they're
everywhere.
The first time I saw it I was like that doesn't look like Woody Woodpecker.
I thought they were blue and yellow.
I mean obviously it's a cartoon but I thought they were blue and red.
These are not.
They're like black and all different colors.
You got the gangster woodpecker.

(01:01:09):
The LA peckers.
They pack heat.
Don't mess with them.
They'll peck the hell out of you.
All right on that note.
Well there you go.
All right well there's your Kirby corner.
We also want to give a shout out to another one of our sponsors Jennifer at Pomo Valley

(01:01:29):
Winery.
We thank you so much for your sponsorship to our show and for your continued support
of music in Ramona.
Pomo was voted best tasting room in Ramona 23 and 24 so stop by and find out why.
Bye.
And they also have on Wednesdays they've got their ten dollar glass of wine and a slice
of pizza from our good friend good friend good friend good friend Jessica Frankenberger

(01:01:54):
right next door Ramona Lisa's pizza mama Ramona mama Ramona's oh.
We're going to edit that.
No it's a pretty good deal.
Every Wednesday they do a ten dollar glass of wine or a bottle for what 35 a bottle so
ten dollars for a glass of wine and a slice of pepperoni or cheese pizza or thirty five

(01:02:18):
dollars for a full bottle of wine of your choice and a 12 inch medium pepperoni or cheese
pizza smoking deal best deal in town on Wednesday night.
Yeah absolutely.
Best deal.
All right.
So what other gig what other jobs have you had other than running a fitness program.
Let's see.
Pretty much that's the only job I've ever had.

(01:02:39):
What was your first job.
First job was bailing hay for my grandfather at eight years old was slinging bales on a
eight years old.
Yeah.
Oh that's how he was gearing up for a fitness man.
He's swinging those bales.
You know what I'm saying.
You know what I'm saying.
Country boys.
Yeah.
Bailing baling lots of hay baling hay baling hay then the US Army US Army and then after

(01:03:02):
the army I law school and decided I didn't want to be a lawyer.
No offense against my lawyer friends out there.
My sister in law is a lawyer too but I realized I don't want to be one of them.
They're critters.
I don't know.
Tell us about your time in the military.
Yeah.
How long are you seven years total.
Okay.

(01:03:23):
Was airborne infantry carried M249 Saul Dragon tank missile and you know it's good.
It was a good exposure and I really the military I wouldn't be where I am today without it
and I really think that everyone you know especially young kids not knowing what they
want to do with their life should go into military.
I know the Cassie sons in right now and all my brothers went and it's just a great way

(01:03:48):
to start.
You know I would not give up my military time for nothing for nothing.
Now yeah it was the best experience best memories but it's the worst of times.
Oh correct.
It wasn't it wasn't for me for the long run but I wouldn't give up that time for anything
in the world.
No I don't agree.
How many years were you in here.
I was in for four.
Okay.
But you know still lifelong friends.
Yeah yeah yeah yeah.

(01:04:08):
You got your act together in a hurry and it got you centered.
And it does and also that's probably with you Eric as well as me like I grew up on a
farm like a small community in south of Pure Illinois and like we didn't have an African
American kid in our school.
We had one Asian kid then we called him Rick Aroney.
Of course like being Asian you know like right being back then but he was my buddy and but

(01:04:29):
anyway I get in the military and you're exposed to all different ethnic groups all different
cultures all different everything and it just gives you an eye-opening experience about
what our country is because we're just a country of mutts.
I mean we're just a bunch of a bunch of us here you know and you find out that whether
you're black brown yellow whatever that you're an American you know and you serve the country

(01:04:51):
you got that commonality and that bond and you become a band of brothers and sisters.
You really do.
Absolutely.
I'm with all mine right now you know like one of my best buddies he's a Mexican Emilio
Vela down in Brownsville Texas and we'll get fucked up and we'll fight one another still
today at 50 years old and then we'll get up and drink beers together you know because
we're buddies.
Yeah that's very cool.

(01:05:13):
Yeah that's a family you never get rid of.
You don't.
Yeah me and the guys I served with we still get to get well I have not yet been but I
want to get going but anyway they can still get together every year in Las Vegas same
squadron we were with gets together every year and yeah it's a camaraderie that you
there's no way to get that otherwise.
I totally agree.

(01:05:33):
I think we should have mandatory two year and I don't think like combat arms or whatever
but like just something you know something like I mean like you know like Israel does
it in Belgium.
I was going to say this and Israel have like a two year minimum right.
And men and women both you know women as well so it's like but again it's just I mean because
you got so many young kids they want to bitch and moan about the country and it's like you
haven't really served it you don't actually you don't really understand it you know you

(01:05:56):
don't understand like the what is it.
It's the selfless it's the selflessness of it.
Yeah to give of yourself like that.
Yeah which is a big deal.
Yeah.
Yeah well thank you for your service gentlemen.
Amen.
Thank you.
For the reason.
So world trips.
Yeah world trips.
I mean we travel we got married in Italy we have a business down in Australia.

(01:06:20):
I've you know it's funny like I was thinking about the world's fittest man like there's
a lot more like the when I turned 30 I had just come back from I tried to commit suicide
at 27 and I didn't.
Fortunately I had snorted an ounce of cocaine over two days.
Had called my mom and said I was going to kill myself.
And yeah that's back when there was answering machines.
And then I woke up two days later and I had 41 messages from my mom you live you dead

(01:06:43):
I hate you I love you blah blah blah.
So at that point that was a big turning point you know and I'd laugh and joke about drugs
and stuff like that.
It's a terrible thing and it's a terrible thing.
And then I decided then that I was going to try to see if I could do all the crazy shit
because I had lived such a shitty life at that point.
So I went to the Himalayas I have run across Himalayas I went to the Sahara Desert I ran

(01:07:06):
one hundred fifty miles across the Sahara Desert.
I've run across Death Valley twice Badwater 135.
Done a grand slam of alter running.
I've been a lot of places a lot of places and it's just been you know it's been an amazing
ride.
And I just I think traveling is so important for all of us because it exposes you to the
beauty of this this you know this little blue dot in the middle of nowhere in our solar

(01:07:28):
system and you're going to meet a lot of cool people a lot of culture a lot of food just
a lot of just really neat things come from traveling.
So we still travel quite a bit.
We just got back from a month and we drove the perimeter of Sicily.
I would I would say don't drive in Sicily but it was a good don't drive in Italy in
general like hire someone or take a cab.

(01:07:51):
Yeah terrified me with the important thing is down south they don't have the public transit
like they do up north north of Rome the trains you can go to Venice you can go to Florence
down south.
It's so rural it's very similar to the United States like you know like up north we got
but down south a little more.
Yeah we were in Rome and Tuscany mostly and so everything was public transportation.
Yeah not down south but that's where my grandfather was from Sicily.

(01:08:15):
It is absolutely beautiful.
It is absolutely wonderful.
I mean we were there when Mount Etna I think.
Yeah Mount Etna had what we were up on Mount Etna when she they call it a burp and it threw
up a goddamn fireball the size of a VW fucking van.
Oh yeah yeah yeah so it erupted a couple days like it erupts like like all the time but

(01:08:36):
they're like yeah she just burped so we need to get you guys off this volcano.
I'm like fuck yeah that was a that was a Volkswagen bug that thing just threw it in the fucking
air on fire.
That one wasn't a planned run but Joe ran the whole way back down.
Oh hell yeah.
Joe was the first one down running down.
He's yelling back keep up Nick.

(01:08:57):
Don't make me carry you you son of a.
No one look back just keep going.
Nick might have a story on that because I did I've lost her a couple so we do a lot
of trips like we do we spent like last year we drove 17,000 miles around the United States
and we host these events you know to raise money for charity but we were down by the
Grand Canyon and we stay in BLM land well there was a storm coming in over the northern

(01:09:20):
edge of the Grand Canyon and I had to get up here because all our gear was there and
we were down to Colorado River.
Well I get up to where we're at and I might have lost my wife.
I lost my wife in the Grand Canyon.
That's not good.
This isn't good.
It's one of the worst ass beatings I've ever had in my life.

(01:09:42):
I'm telling you well when I finally found her.
You probably deserved it.
Fair.
He's replaying that scene from Joe.
You know you tell a husband with two black eyes nothing she told me twice.
She told me twice.
You've never lost well we've never been anywhere where imminent safety was in you know.

(01:10:04):
What do you mean?
Like you've never left me anywhere but we've never been in a situation where like fight
or flight or you got to flee for your life.
There have been a couple of drunken nights where I'm like I'm leaving or you're like
I'm leaving and then you leave.
Yeah but that doesn't I'm saying yeah but no one's dying.
Volcano is not erupting.
We're trying to get.
Oh yeah.

(01:10:25):
Travis lost through the living room.
That's just I'm fucking sick of you for the night and I'm going home.
Have fun.
Bye.
I was hiding under the bed.
Travis get out of the garage.
That's it I'm leaving.
You're like Tom Cruise hiding in closet.
I'm going to my fort.
That's our lifestyle.

(01:10:46):
It's all good.
I'm going to the fort.
Screw you.
The fort is point one miles from our front door.
It's not hard to find.
He's either in the hammock or the swing.
Okay.
They're pouting.
Six-year-old hiding out.
There is we do have a fort by the way.
I've been waiting here for 15 minutes for you to come out here and find me.

(01:11:07):
There is a hammock and a swing in the fort and it's awesome.
But last time I went there there was a half-eaten rabbit in there.
You still need to get it out of there.
I didn't get it.
Yucky.
It's half-eaten.
I'm all sweet curves okay we're done arguing.

(01:11:29):
I need you to get rid of this rabbit.
All right Kirby you're right you're right you're right.
Fine come get this rabbit.
You're right fine just get rid of this half-eaten rabbit that's in the fort.
I don't like it.
This did not happen.
He goes to the we both go to the fort but I didn't know there was a rabbit there.
But I will say I will do a lot of things.
I don't know if it's a girl thing if it's a me thing.

(01:11:50):
I do not do dead animals anything well.
Like I can't I don't want to see it.
I don't want to move it.
My dad came to my house and flushed my made of fish when I was 23 years old.
Because I didn't want to touch it.
You eat steak?
Well yeah but it doesn't have a face on it looking at you.
That animal's not alive.
Anything that still has eyes on it.
So she doesn't do shrimp unless it's tailed.

(01:12:10):
Who eats a whole like shrimp with like its little things still?
That's a psychopath.
Oh you did crawfish but she made me pop the tails off first.
I did I made him pull it off yeah I did do that.
Are you what Joe are you one of the guys that you're going to be doing this with?
Joe are you one of those that suck the guts out of it?

(01:12:35):
So I told this a couple weeks ago.
And we could see all the feathers.
I made him go look in the coop to make sure it was just feathers and there were no bodies
because it's like I can't like I can clean up the feathers no problem.
But if there's like my little poor baby chickens in there I don't want to see it.
Did we did we tell everybody about that?
We did.
You did last week.

(01:12:55):
Yeah all of our chickens are gone.
All this effort.
They all woke up dead.
Well no sadly they woke up and then they died.
I don't think it was asleep.
We're probably going to find a couple of them in the fort.
What's wrong with you?
She doesn't want to go to the fort now.
You're a psycho.

(01:13:16):
Lord.
Oh good times.
All right I think we should take another break.
I want to get Nicole on here to refute half the shit that he's been talking about her.
Yeah Nicole's here.
Joe Deffer's wife.
I thought it would be fun.
Then she could tell all the stories.
So she's going to tell the truth.
Yeah she's going to tell all the truth.
I still have a worn out so Nicole please.
Don't mention Alabama.

(01:13:38):
There's a few states here we could please do not air this in Mississippi, Alabama.
All right let's listen to some tunes and we'll get we'll get Nicole up in here.
That'll be fun.
Yeah.
I'm going to go with that.

(01:14:05):
Out in the west Texas town of El Paso I fell in love with a Mexican girl.
Nighttime would find me in roses Cantina music would play and footy new world.
Blacker than night were the eyes of Felina Wicked and evil while casting a spell.

(01:14:34):
My love was deep for this Mexican maiden I was in love but in vain I could tell.
The night a wild young cowboy came in Wild as the west Texas wind.

(01:14:55):
Dashing and daring a drink he was sharing With wicked Felina the girl that I loved.
So in anger I challenged his right for the love of this maiden.
Down with his hand for the gun that he wore.
My challenge was answered in less than a heartbeat.

(01:15:17):
The handsome young stranger lay dead on the floor.
Out through the back door of roses I ran.
Out where the horses were tied.
I caught a good one it looked like it could run.

(01:15:39):
Up on its back and away I did ride.
Just as fast as I could from the west Texas town of El Paso.
Out to the badlands of New Mexico.
Back in El Paso my life would be worthless.
Everything's gone in life nothing is left.

(01:16:03):
It's been so long since I've seen the young maiden.
My love is stronger than my fear of death.
I saddle up and away I did go riding alone in the dark.

(01:16:24):
Maybe tomorrow a bullet may find me.
Tonight nothing's worse than this pain in my heart.
And at last here I am on the hill overlooking El Paso.
I can see roses Cantina below.
My love is strong and it pushes me onward.

(01:16:45):
Down off the hill to Felina I go.
Off to my right I see five mounted cowboys.
Off to my left ride a dozen or more.
Shouting and shooting I can't let them catch me.
I have to make it to roses back door.

(01:17:10):
Something is dreadfully wrong for I feel a deep burning pain in my side.
Though I am trying to stay in the saddle I'm getting weary unable to ride.
But my love for Felina is strong and I rise where I've fallen.

(01:17:35):
Though I am weary I can't stop to rest.
I see the wipe up of smoke from the rifle.
I feel the bullet go deep in my chest.
From out of nowhere Felina has found me.
Kissing my cheek as she kneels by my side.

(01:17:59):
Fradled by two loving arms that I'll die for.
One little kiss and Felina goodbye.

(01:18:22):
I am an old woman named after my mother.
My old man is another child that's grown old.
His dreams were lightning.
Thunder were desire.

(01:18:44):
This old house would have burnt down a long time ago.
Make me an angel that flies from Montgomery.
Make me a poster of an old rodeo.

(01:19:05):
Just give me one thing that I can hold on to.
To believe in this living is just a hard way to go.
When I was a young girl well I had me a cowboy.

(01:19:32):
He weren't much to look at just a free rambling man.
But that was a long time and no matter how I tried.
The years just flow by like a broken down dam.

(01:19:53):

(01:20:14):
There's flies in the kitchen.
I can hear them there buzzing.
And I ain't done nothing since I woke up today.

(01:20:41):
How the hell can a person go to work in the morning.
Come home in the evening and have nothing to say.

(01:21:02):

(01:21:46):
Well I guess it was back in 63 when eating my cooking got the better of me.
So I asked this little girl I was going with to be my wife.

(01:22:06):
Well she said she would so I said I'd do.
But I'd have said I wouldn't if I'd have just knew how saying I'd do was going to screw
up all of my life.
Well the first few years weren't all that bad.
I'll never forget the good times we had.
Cause I'm reminded every month when I sent her the child support.
Well it wasn't too long till the lust all died.

(01:22:27):
And I'll admit I wasn't too surprised the day I come home and found my suitcase sitting
out on the porch.
Well I tried to get in she changed the lock.
Then I found this note taped on the mailbox that said goodbye turkey my attorney will
be in touch.
So I decided right then and there I was going to do what's right give her her fair share.
But brother I didn't know her share was going to be that much.

(01:22:51):
She got the gold mine I got the share.
They split it right down the middle and then they give her the better half.
Well it all sounds sort of funny but it hurts too much to laugh.
Now listen you ain't heard nothing yet.

(01:23:13):
Why they give her the color television set then they give her the house the kids and
both of the cars.
See well then they start talking about child support alimony and the cost of the court.
It didn't take me long to figure out how far in the toilet I was.
I'm telling you they have made a mistake cause it adds up to more than this cowboy makes.
Besides everything I ever had worth taking they've already took.

(01:23:36):
While she's living like a queen on alimony I'm working two shifts eating baloney asking
myself why did you just learn how to cook.
They give her the gold mine they give me the share.
They said they're splitting it all down the middle but she got the better half.
Well it all sounds mighty funny but it hurts too much to laugh.

(01:23:58):

(01:24:19):
Well she got the gold mine I got the share.
They split it all down the middle and then they give her the better half.
Well I guess it all sounds funny but it hurts too much to laugh.

(01:24:43):
But I don't have to worry about told the bill call anymore.
I let my wife told it I'm gonna be carrying food stamps.
I'm gonna get a judge I'm gonna be.
That's not funny huh.
All right we're back.

(01:25:04):
That's a hell of a good song I love that one.
Jerry Reed.
All right so we got Joe Decker's Mrs. Nicole.
Better half I'd say.
Hello hello.
How are you?
The brain's the program.
Maybe.
Beauty too.
Okay so I gotta ask you a question.

(01:25:27):
How many times have you had to bail this guy out of jail?
None.
None.
He's telling lies.
So let's hear about one of those episodes.
What are you referring to Travis?
I don't know one of the times that he said he was in jail.
I love these.

(01:25:47):
Well maybe she never has.
I've never had to bail you out.
You got your life together before we met.
I did I did.
I got my life together.
But you guys have been together.
How long have you been together?
That's a loose term ish.
We've been together for 21 years.
Okay so you've at least sweet curbs in 21 years you might need to at least once.
I don't know I've gotten I've gotten my life together a lot better.
Don't call me.
No I'd actually be like you can take him don't impound the jeep I'll drive that home.

(01:26:16):
No I said I would take the jeep I'd say don't impound that just take him I'll drive that
jeep home.
I'll drive the jeep home you take them in your handcuffs do whatever you do.
Speaking of impounding jeeps.
What happened jeeps?
So first time meeting the folks down in good old Cuba Illinois we had a little high speed
chase down in the land of Cuba.

(01:26:37):
Like we as in you were being chased?
Yep.
Okay.
You were driving or you were driving?
Driving and his brother is a little rascal just like Joe and we were racing and all the
sudden Joe takes off in his jeep and obviously I'm the passenger this is my first time here
in meeting his family and so Joe says okay hold on I'm turning out the lights.

(01:27:01):
I said what?
And he turns down this dirt road.
I'm assuming it's dark then.
It's dark and it's Christmas time and I have all my presents in the back that are wrapped
and they're going everywhere.
He pulls in between two semis.
All right lights off he's like get out and run.
I'm like huh?
I have still little freaking boots on.

(01:27:21):
I have a fur coat on.
I mean I'm a little bougie for Cuba Illinois but whatever I don't care.
I have red leather gloves on and we're running clip-clopping through this cornfield and my
heels are sinking into the ground and I'm like what in the hell is going on?
All of a sudden a helicopter.
Oh shit.
What?

(01:27:41):
Is above us and I'm like what the heck?
So we find this top where you put firewood underneath you know in the Midwest.
Oh yeah.
You store your firewood underneath.
What is that called?
Topper.
Truck topper.
We crawl underneath and we're sitting there and Joe just goes like hee hee hee hee hee.
If you know Joe his little giggle is so annoying.
We've heard his history prior to this.

(01:28:03):
Have you ever been in trouble?
No.
I'm just like you.
Thank you.
I'm a little angel.
I just had to ask.
No drugs.
No nothing.
So you're like holy shit this is it.
My life is ending.
What did I get into?
Oh my god.
I just known you for nine months and this.
See and then I would get out and be like he's in there.
I'm sorry I didn't know what was happening.

(01:28:23):
Sorry officer.
Here I am.
That's funny.
Herb would be the first one to snitch.
I know she's standing up there looking at the helicopter.
He's over here.
He's right there.
I'd also be the first one to mysteriously die because my brakes got cut on my car or
something after that so.
I would never.
Okay so no go on.
The Jeep is left in between two semi trucks.

(01:28:44):
I don't know whatever.
So we're running running running hide underneath and he's looking at me.
He's like hey give me my lighter.
I need a cigar.
I'm like oh hell no you are not.
That is like light like seriously.
We're gonna think about the important stuff.
You really want me dead.
The best part is her mind switch from I can't believe we're doing this to land up now let's
not get caught.
So now she's an accessory.

(01:29:05):
That's a smoke signal you dummy.
Yeah she's in it.
She's like no.
So we slither out of this.
Underneath thing and we're clip clopping.
I'm saying clip clopping because I stupid have heels on.
Not stupid.
You did not expect to be running.
No I did not.
I was just up looking like me.
Anyhow so we get to a fence and it's a barbed wire fence and and climb climb climb.

(01:29:32):
Here he goes.
He's jumping off and I'm like uh-uh.
He's like you got to get over.
It's into a cemetery.
Into a cemetery.
I'm like I'm I cannot.
Whatever.
So somehow managed jumped over and now helicopter's still circling and we're rolling from gray
side to gray side.
I'm not kidding.
Gray side to gray side to stay down low.

(01:29:53):
So roll roll roll.
He had you low crawling between.
Yes.
Yes he did.
I'm sorry Mary Ellen.
I'm sorry Tom Smith.
I'm sorry.
I know.
She apologizes to each one as she goes by.
Sorry Bob.
Sorry Steve.
Sorry Lily.
Sorry Lulu.
RIP baby.
I'm gonna be right there with you.

(01:30:15):
1885 man that's an old one.
All right we're going.
Wow you're old.
Shit you've been here for a long time.
That was civil war.
I met a lot of people that night.
I met a lot of people that night that night and they said oh my gosh we are going to be

(01:30:40):
in trouble.
Oh my gosh.
I'm about to be in trouble.
I'm about to be in trouble.
Holy moly.
All of a sudden we have a getaway car.
It was his uncle.
Picked us up.
They said don't get in there.
And he drove off.
And you know the rest is.
Well how did uncle know to come find you on the other side of the secretary.
Well Joe had a cell phone.
Oh yeah.
That's how I knew you were a keeper though Nicole.
They're like she didn't leave him out.

(01:31:00):
Stood by somehow.
Uncle Ron.
Suss again.
Yeah.
corner of the cemetery. This is not a drill. He knew exactly where we were somehow.
I don't know if it happened before. The guy in the helicopter was probably
his uncle too. It was all staged just to see if he stuck around. Everyone knew the Decker's.
That's the Decker's again. Where's the helicopter? Oh my god. Anyhow, that's the cemetery story.

(01:31:24):
Oh man, that's hilarious. First time meeting the family that we've been in.
First time. Even the brothers. So had you met them prior to this happening or you were going to meet them?
Oh, I had met them prior to. The next night. Christmas Eve.
So you stuck around and you're like, okay, I guess I'm gonna go full Monty here and meet the whole crowd.

(01:31:47):
Yep. Go through cemeteries again. It's a great introduction to the Decker family.
It was my initiation, I guess. I don't know. Did he ever get his jeep back? I was gonna say what happened to the jeep.
Oh, yeah, he got it back. The next day all my presents were unwrapped. I was so sad. But yeah, he got it back.
So one of the truck drivers got out and said, wow, somebody left me a jeep full of presents.

(01:32:08):
Santa Claus left us a jeep and a bunch of presents inside. Was it a red jeep?
It was silver, thank goodness. Oh my gosh. That's why they didn't see it, because it's a silver jeep.
Yeah, exactly. Oh, man, I couldn't imagine racing a jeep. Yeah, with a Mustang.

(01:32:29):
Get about 65, you start getting those wobbles. I think Joe won the race. However, he got away and we kind of did. Not really.
You might have won the race, but you lost everything else. Moving right along this.
That's a great story. That's just funny. And hanging out with a bunch of dead people.

(01:32:53):
Roll around. I guess in my head I'm seeing like an Illinois winter and like there's was there snow around in the whole deal?
Yeah. Mm hmm. And you're just low-crawl through the center? That's the fur coat and leather gloves.
How did you climb over a barbed wire fence without getting all cut up? Oh, I did. OK. Lost my boots. Damn.
Oh, jeez. This is like a scene out of National Lampoons. I lost my shoes one time and came home in bowling shoes, but no one was chasing me.

(01:33:17):
I just drank too much at the bowling alley and wore their shoes home and left behind at the bowling alley.
Curse. Well, there went that $3 deposit. I literally woke up in my apartment in my clothes and my bowling alley boots and I was like, do we go back and get them?
Do the walk of shame. Sorry. I got a little drunk and I walked off with your shoes. I mean, honestly, I came up. Can I get my shoes back?

(01:33:39):
No, I came up because I got a pair of bowling shoes. They had my $1.99 Old Navy flip flops from like a summer sale. Oh, you straight it up. Yeah.
You did. You upgrade. You never need to buy bowling shoes. And that's the reason why it costs so much to put a deposit on bowling shoes.
Now, Sweet Curse just did it. I save a lot of money when I bowl, though. I was going to say, you still have the shoes? No. Oh.

(01:34:01):
Yeah. Those are the ugliest damn shoes I've ever seen. They are. They were the ones I had. I think they make them with a red stripe down the side.
I think they do that so that people won't steal them. I didn't mean to. Obviously, it wasn't like, oh, this is a conscious effort.

(01:34:21):
I wonder if that's like a thing, like a bowling alley. So all these I'm innocent and I don't do nothing wrong. Sorry. Cats out of the bag. No.
I know. So you're a bowling shoe. Bowling. That's the worst thing I can do. I'm still looking pretty good against this guy.
There's some kids birthday party got ruined because they ran out of shoes. We didn't. You know what?

(01:34:43):
Our last eight and a half got stolen because of some lady the other night. Kelly, you can't bowl today. I'm sorry.
Some redheaded lady just came and stole all the size eight and a half. I wasn't redhead. She was dancing and twirling our way out the door.
I was almost black. I was. She was laughing the whole way out. We saw her.

(01:35:05):
She did her whole like a what's the dude from Austin Powers? One million. One million.
Set it eight and a half.
Oh, OK, so tell us about the time you bailed him out of jail. I want to hear about that one. I didn't. Come on.
I never do. I feel like you're not telling us. I hope you're listening because I will never do it either.

(01:35:28):
No bail. You won't bail me out of jail, sweet curbs, if I ever go to jail. It depends on what you did.
What? It doesn't what I did. What if what if I accidentally stole the set of bowling shoes?
I can tell you that's not a criminal offense with certainty.
Oh, OK, that is not jailable. Let's get him out of there. Come on, judge.

(01:35:49):
Don't be a dick judge. We've all done it. I can't be the first person.
They got over served more than bowling shoes. Also, I wasn't driving.
I didn't have a driver's license. Your face is probably hanging up in that bowling alley.
I had a sober ride. Do not serve. And that's probably what happened.
They said it's time to go and I didn't have time. I just said, well, I guess we're going.
I can't go get my shoes. Don't want to get left here. If you see this lady, do not serve her drinks if she's wearing bowling shoes.

(01:36:17):
She's stupid.
Oh, my God. How about this? If you get arrested for stealing bowling shoes, I will bail you out for that.
OK, how much is how much that would be? 39.99.
The bond's fifteen hundred, but the bail's five dollars.
Oh, cool. I don't have to call anyone. I have in my pocket.

(01:36:39):
Here you go. You're like you're busting out quarters. Oh, my God. This is four fifty.
Come on, judge.
Nicole, where are you from originally? Indiana. Indiana. Yep.
How long did you grew up? Grew up born and raised. Went to Indiana University for undergrad and then moved out to the East Coast and went to grad school at James Madison University in Virginia.

(01:37:04):
Virginia. Then I met Joe in Maryland. Oh, very good.
Good Lord. How the hell did that happen? Right. How did that?
I mean, just just at a cursory kind of getting to know you guys. Yeah.
You guys seem like you're from two different sides of the tracks a little bit.
Yeah, the end to the egg. Yeah, you're all sweet and get all your shit together.
Everything's all tight. And then there's that screwball.

(01:37:25):
Paul Abdul did have a hit song in the 80s called Opposites Attract.
Oh, yeah. I think that explains both of our stories.
Yeah, exactly. Yep. Joe's the dreamer and I'm the realist, if you will.
Yeah, there you go. And that you guys were kind of, you know, similar kind of the dreamer.
You're kind of a dreamer, those sweet curves you dream about.
I'm not the only one. You dream about getting rid of woodpeckers without killing them.

(01:37:50):
There's lots of ways. Come on.
Okay, so Indiana. Yep.
You don't really have an accent. No, thank you.
Do they have an accent in Indiana? Everyone thinks they do. I don't, I've never
picked up on any accent. We're not that close to Canada.
There was a show on TV when I was little and I loved it. It was called Eerie Indiana.
And it was like this show about this kid and he lived in Eerie, Indiana. And it was like all of

(01:38:14):
these like mysteries were happening and he was trying to solve the Indiana.
So did you ever think you'd be living in California? No, never.
Never? What brought you guys out here?
Yeah, we met out in, like I said, DC area and we met working together. He interviewed me.
I obviously got hired. And we ran a business together out there for a couple years. And he

(01:38:36):
had just wrote a book and was on book tour. So he moved. He, during that book writing, he lived in
Pacific Beach. And so he had a sit here in California and fell in love. So when we met,
I slowed that process down because he's like, listen, I am moving back to California either
in or out. But I'm like, that's far away from home.

(01:38:58):
Was that before or after he started dipping the pen in company ink?
You know what I mean.
I apologize for him.
Blah, blah, blow the horn.
Blah, blah, blah.
No, I mean, you said he hired you.
He did, yes. He wanted someone to run the business and he could just be the face of the world.

(01:39:20):
Well, he was kind of his own, he was his own business, right?
Yes.
Yeah.
Yeah. So working together, anyhow, long story short, came out, brought me out here to California
in February and it rained the entire time. I'm like, San Diego, really beautiful weather.
What's all the hype?
Right.
I could be at home in the rain. Yeah.
Yeah.
We pay a lot of money every year in Texas to put this weather, this bullshit.

(01:39:42):
But 18 years ago, we've been here since. So San Diego is our home and Ramona is our second
home in our family. So love it.
But do you have a family that lives out here?
No, no, they're all still in Indiana.
Joe's family too is also back East?
Yeah, back in Illinois.
Illinois, Indiana. That's pretty close.
Yep. Right next to each other.

(01:40:05):
Congratulations.
Good job.
I'm pretty good at geography.
Good job.
I'll give you the.
There you go. See, that's one point. Cassie, where are you? I need to jot that one down.
That counts.
It's not music related.
So you ever worked or met with any famous people?
Famous people. I worked with Total Gym.

(01:40:27):
Total Gym. Yeah, that infomercial Chuck Norris, Christie Brinkley.
Yeah.
Oh, I had a Total Gym for a while. I actually liked it.
Yeah. It's a good piece of equipment.
Yeah. So I did meet a lot of those guys in Dancing with the Stars,
did some training for them and yeah, but nothing that interesting.
Nothing that interesting.
No, it's pretty interesting.

(01:40:48):
Yeah. So you guys now run a fitness empire?
Yes, we do. I love gut check fitness.
Doing things all over the world.
Yes.
Was fitness your did you have a fitness background coming before then?
I did. Yeah. So I studied undergrad exercise science and then graduated with an
exercise physiology master's degree.
Oh, gotcha.

(01:41:08):
Yeah. Fitness has been part of my life. Athlete growing up with it.
So athlete, you played sports growing up in high school. What did you play? What did you do?
I did a lot of softball. I was dancer. I did track and cross country.
Yeah. Tried to play basketball. My dad was really adamant about that, but I was not very good.

(01:41:29):
He loved basketball.
Oh.
However, I didn't like to be.
I see. I see.
Yeah. But I didn't like people in my face guarding me. So I kind of gave that up.
I was a softball girl.
Yeah. Softball. Yep.
Yeah. I played baseball.
When I was a kid.
Center field catcher.
There you go.
No, me. That's what I was. Center field and catcher.
What did you do, Travis?
I was a catcher too. And a pitcher at the same time.

(01:41:52):
Now you're a pitcher.
I was like the Bugs Bunny.
Oh, at the same time?
So here's.
You were so fast you could throw to yourself.
I was like that Bugs Bunny cartoon. I was a pitcher, catcher. I was every good.
Everything.
You were running back and forth.
Were you doing cocaine at the time?
I was. I was on a gram of cocaine a day.
Oh my God.
No, I was only eight.
Oh, okay. Good.

(01:42:12):
Half a gram. Half a gram.
I was only eight. So I was only doing about a half a gram a day.
No, I'm just.
It's an ADD in you.
It's funny.
Very hyper.
All right. So here's the deal. We're down to about 15 minutes left in the show.
Holy cow. That went fast.
Oh my gosh. Yeah.
Wow.
So you get to decide because you're the boss.
Uh oh.
Boss lady.
Who's doing music trivia? You or Joe?

(01:42:33):
Joe's going to do it.
You don't want to do it?
No, I'm terrible.
Joe's got this.
Joe's got this.
All right.
We're going to play one song.
Okay.
And then we're going to come back.
But wait, let's figure out what genre should we do.
Oh, yeah. What genre he thinks is best.
I mean, obviously country, but what year? What decade?
Oh, you like the old school.
I feel like old school stuff.

(01:42:53):
Old school.
So like, what, 70s, 80s, 60s?
What do you think?
We'll find the outlaw stuff.
70s.
Probably very wide.
Yeah.
Well, I said 70s, 80s, 60s.
Okay. I should have said 60s, 70s or 80s.
There is no outlaw after the 80s.

(01:43:15):
All right.
All right. We're going to come back.
We're going to do that.
All right.

(01:43:47):
Yeah.

(01:44:17):
Yeah.

(01:44:47):
Yeah.

(01:45:17):
All right.
We're back.
Oh, man.
I'm just listening to some interesting stories on the break there.

(01:45:40):
All right.
Let's do our final sponsor.
Yes.
Get that little button ready.
I'm ready.
Eric.
I'm ready.
Thank you, Victoria Bradley for your sponsorship.
Ramona Family Naturals.
Dear Ramona.
I saw her on the news the other day when she was quite the news when the power was out.
You know who else was on the news the other day?
Sweet Curbs was.
Were you?

(01:46:00):
She was.
Sweet Curbs was on the news.
I just happened to be Ramona Family Naturals the same day he was interviewing Victoria.
Now I got to get your autograph and shit.
I know.
I'll sign the guitar.
She's pretty famous.
Have you never signed the guitar, Sweet Curbs?
What?
I don't think I signed it either.
So it's all good.
But anyway, thank you so much, Victoria Bradley for sponsoring this crazy show.

(01:46:22):
And we do appreciate you very much.
Every Thursday, my band Dirty Confetti plays there.
Yeah.
They got live music.
They got good food.
They got the coffee bar.
They've got the little.
Beer and wine.
The deli.
They got the beer and wine.
They got all organic food for your healthinessnessness.
Hey, first down the hillers, guys, we, any of you guys that are listening live down the hill.

(01:46:45):
I'm telling you what, if you haven't been up to Ramona, you're missing out.
It is just a credible scene.
Great music, great people, great food.
Just a wonderful time up here.
Oh yeah.
Right on.
Thank you, Victoria.
There we go.
All right.
It's that time.
We're going to do it.
We're doing it live.
Every day.

(01:47:09):
This is sweet curbs is happy time because she always wins.
She looks forward to this every week.
Yeah, not the last few weeks.
We're getting back to country though this week.
So maybe I'll do it.
We're doing country again.
All right.
All right.
So we're going to do music trivia.
I'm going to start playing a song.
OK.
You either know the song title or the artist, either one of those.
OK.
And you can say your name.
I'm going to say my name.

(01:47:30):
OK.
And you can say your name and that'll buzz you in.
OK.
So you're just going to say, Joe, I'll call you.
And you give me the artist's name or the title of the song.
OK.
So you get two points.
If you know one, I'll give you five seconds to get the other part.
OK.
Let's go.
We had actual buzzers one time, but me and Travis almost beat the hell out
of each other.
Yeah.
There was a lot of birds flying around.
They had to get thrown across the studio.

(01:47:50):
It was bullshit.
I was short one hand.
I thought that was going to be one of those times sweet curbs where.
All right.
So here's the first one as a warm up.
No points for this.
You ready?
All right.
Travis.
Travis.
Randy Travis.
Yeah.
Forever and ever amen.
There you go.
So that's how it works.

(01:48:11):
Oh, come on.
I should have got that.
What I said.
Warm up.
What I said.
Cassie, put two on the phone.
What I said.
What I said.
I know.
I know.
Fine.
All right.
Got it?
Are you ready?
We got it.
All right.
I'm going to start off with the easy ones.
Travis.
Travis.
Not the king of country George Strait.

(01:48:33):
All my exes live in Texas.
All right.
You got to be quick.
You got to be quick.
Joe.
So smart.
Say your name first and that's your buzzer.
You ready?
Yeah.
Travis.
The Jets.
Go ahead.
Why not me?

(01:48:54):
Just got it in there.
Just got it in there.
All right.
Here's the next one.
Travis.
Hank Williams Jr.
I know.
I should have got 70 draw.
Coming over tonight.
Lord.
Kirby, I'm trying here.
No cheating.
Did he get that much better or did you just get slow?

(01:49:16):
The last song that you've played are songs on his set list.
I don't play this one.
You take a couple nights off.
Wendy played it.
Oh yeah.
We did do it that one time.
You take a couple weeks off and all of a sudden you did it.
I know.
She's lagging.
All right.
Here we go.
You play the Jets.
Travis.
Grandpa.
The Jets.

(01:49:37):
Sorry.
Kirby.
Fuck you, Eric.
You're distracting me with conversation and then starting a song.
I don't have time.
All right.
Joe.
I think I need a 70s rock item.
Okay.

(01:50:07):
Kirby.
Oh, Kirby.
Shackles and Chains.
Kathy Matea.
No.
Anybody?
Who sings this?
Anybody?
Kirby.
Patti Loveless.
There you go.
Oh, did she get it?
She got it.
Okay.
All right.

(01:50:27):
Here we go.
Joe.
George Jones.
It is George Jones.
What's the name of the song?
Don't Know The Song.
Anybody?
I have no idea.
God, I should know it.

(01:50:48):
The Door.
The Door?
Yeah.
Damn.
Okay.
Travis.
Travis.
Wayla Nelson.
You're Always On My Mind.
Sweet Curbs.
See, you're always on my mind.

(01:51:08):
I still hate you right now.
Travis.
Elvira.
Bye.
The...
Come on.
Kirby.
Oak Ridge Boys.
I knew it was Boyz Somethin'.
I had half of it, right?
All right, you ready for the next one?
Travis.

(01:51:30):
Travis.
Oh, God dang it.
Come on.
Time's up.
Anybody?
I don't know.
Come on, Joe.

(01:51:52):
Great song.
Five seconds.
Kirby.
Go ahead.
Is it Steve Earl?
It is.
It's not Copperhead Road, though, so I don't know the name of the song.
I can tell it's the same guy.
Nobody?
Guitar Town.
Steve Earl.

(01:52:14):
Travis.
Eagles.
Hotel Cali.
All right, we're going to mix it up just a tiny bit here.
These are the songs you should know.
Stevie Nicks.
Dreams.
Joe Fleetwood Mac.
It is Fleetwood Mac.
And the name of the song?
He just said it.

(01:52:36):
Travis.
Dreams.
Come on, but it is Stevie Nicks.
No, it's not.
That's like saying Hatfield instead of Metallica.
Whatever.
Don't count.
Travis.
Leonard Skinner Sweet Home Alabama.
Darn it.
All right, who knows this one?

(01:52:58):
Joe.
Led Zeppelin.
Yeah, a whole lot of love.
There you go.
Unicoolin.
Yeah.
Who's this?
Travis.
Rolling Stones.
Give Me Shelter.
This is all out of my zone.

(01:53:20):
I mean, I know who the Rolling Stones are.
I'm mixing it all around here.
No, I'm not.
Joe.
Kissin' in the Dark.
Joe.
Fishing in the Dark.
By?
Fishing in the Dark by...
Kirby.
Nitty Gritty Dirt Man.

(01:53:42):
And you said Kissin' in the Dark.
It's Fishing in the Dark.
I didn't even get my name right.
I fucked it up.
That wasn't a dig, Eric.
I was just saying I don't know those.
I know.
Kirby.
Willie Nelson.
Always on my mind.
Did we already do that one?

(01:54:04):
I don't think so.
Hold on, I'm going to try it.
Stupid.
Stupid.
Travis.
Jason Aldean.
Dirt Road Anthem.
Yeah.
Know How I Know You're Gay?

(01:54:26):
Because I know that song.
Hey, he's not gay, his boyfriend is.
Fair.
Alright, let's do this one.
Travis.
Eric Church.

(01:54:54):
Anybody?
My mama loved her, her daddy loved me.
We burned up the road between her house and mine.
Travis.
Kirby.
Luke Bryan.
I don't know the song.
Love You, Miss You, Mean It.
Whatever.

(01:55:16):
Lame.
You know how I know you're gay, sweet curbs?
I don't sing.
Kirby.
Jodie Messina, Heads Carolina.
I don't sing a Luke Bryan song, though.
Travis.
Allen Jackson.
Chattahoochee.
Who's this?

(01:55:38):
Kirby.
George Strait, Yes or No.
Or check, Yes or No.
You gotta say Not the King of Country, George Strait.
You got it wrong.
Who's this?
Kirby.
Dina Carter, Strawberry Wine.

(01:56:00):
Lord.
How about this?
Kirby.
John Michael Montgomery, Grand County Auction.
Lord Joe, I know.
You got any April Wine or...

(01:56:22):
You know, I almost feel bad here.
We gotta give Joe something to work with here.
Who's this?
Travis.
Senator's son.
I know.
Fortunate son.
There's damn it.
One and one.

(01:56:44):
Travis.
Aerosmith.
Dream on.
Travis.
Bob Dylan.
Knocking on Heaven's Door.
I thought that was gonna be something.
Nice job.
I like this one.

(01:57:06):
I hate these songs with these weird long intros.
I guess if you really know it, you would know it.
Roger Waters.
I'm gonna bump in here a little bit.
Travis.
Pink Floyd, Which You Were Here.
Love this song.
Here's this.

(01:57:28):
Joe.
Bruce Springsteen.
Anybody?
Bruce Springsteen.
No.
I can't think of the name of it.
Born to Run.
I was gonna say the only one I know is Dancing in the Dark and that wasn't it.

(01:57:50):
Who's this?
Joe.
Wait a second.
Travis.
Foreigner.
Jukebox Hero.
There you go.
Jukebox Hero.
Travis.
Led Zeppelin, Staring at Heaven.

(01:58:12):
Who's this?
Travis.
Night Moves.
One of my favorite songs.
I love this song.
Did you ever go to the Waffle House?
I'm sure you did.
I've played this many times.
Many fights at the Waffle House.
They had this on the jukebox at the Waffle House.
We played it every freaking time we'd go there.

(01:58:34):
Before you got in a fight or anything.
Before and after.
Just play.
That's awesome.
Who's this?
Travis.
Rush.
Tom Sawyer.
Good song.
I've heard of Rush, never even heard of Tom Sawyer.
They kill it.

(01:58:56):
Neil Peart was the drummer.
Last one and then we're out of time.
Everybody ready?
Ready.
Travis.
Van Halen.
I'll give it to you.
Good job, Joe.
Good job, Joe.
I kind of cock-blocked Trav in that one.
All good, man.

(01:59:18):
That was a woodpecker in me.
No one has heard the name of this song yet.
John.
Here it is, the honest to God last one.
You have to say goodbye.
Herbie.

(01:59:42):
Herbie.
It's the Dixie Shakes.
I'm going to say that.
Cowboy Take Me Away.
With a half a second despair.
You said Dixie Shakes.
You're not allowed to say that.
Sorry, politically correct the chicks.
All right, Joe, before we go, how do we find out what you're doing?
What website do we go to?

(02:00:04):
How do we register?
Where can we see you?
What's going on?
If you're interested in coming out and supporting our event in April 26, you go to gutcheckfitness.com.
You can find all the info there.
And then you can reach out.
And then Nicole Decker will take care of you.
The lovely Nicole Decker.
The lovely Nicole Decker.
Right on, Joe.

(02:00:26):
Thank you so much, man, for hanging out with us on this beautiful Sunday.
Thank you all so much for listening.
Thank you, sweet Curbs.
Thank you, Eric.
Thank you, Cassie, over there for giving us our scoreboard.
Wait, who won?
Travis.
With 35 points.
And our guest got 11.
Hey, you didn't goose egg it.
Yeah, you didn't totally get scuffed.

(02:00:48):
I'm not a smart man.
That happens sometimes.
But I do know what love is.
All right, thank you so much for listening to the Travis Bailey Ross Outlaw Country Show.
We'll see you all next Sunday.
Have a good night. Have a good rest of your week.
God bless you.

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