Episode Transcript
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Simon Kardynal (00:07):
I would like to
begin this episode by
acknowledging that I am locatedin Ottawa, Ontario, Canada, and
I am privileged and honoured tolive and learn on the unceded,
unsurrendered territory of theAnishinaabe Algonquin Nation.
Glen (00:24):
Hello, you're listening to
Trench Leadership
From the Front, produced byiGlen Studios, a show for
emerging leaders from allprofessions, to hear from other
leaders who have led from thefront, made the mistakes, had
the triumphs and are stilllearning along the way.
And now here's your host, SimonKardynal.
Simon Kardynal (00:50):
Hi everyone, and
welcome to episode 110 of
Trench Leadership (00:54):
A Podcast
From the Front, a podcast for
emerging leaders across allprofessions.
I'm your host, Simon Kardynal,and today we're delving into
what I believe to be the mostvital skill for any leader,
active listening.
We've all heard the sayingcommunication is key, and
there's good reason why we'reconstantly hearing this phrase,
(01:16):
and it's because it's true.
But what if I told you thateffective communication starts
with listening, that, as leaders, it's our responsibility to
hear hear everything, not justthe words that are being spoken.
It's about being active in theconversations.
It's about actively listening.
Active listening is not justabout hearing words.
(01:38):
It's about understanding,interpreting and responding
thoughtfully.
So in this episode, we're goingto break this all down and
we're going to talk about activelistening, what it is, why it
matters and how you cancultivate this skill.
And so I begin by suggestingthat we answer the question what
is active listening?
Active listening is acommunication technique that
(02:00):
requires the listener to fullyconcentrate, understand, respond
and then remember what is beingsaid.
It involves more than justhearing the words.
It engages the mind andrequires an emotional component.
So what are some of thecomponents of active listening?
Pay full attention In DaringGreatly.
Have the courage to bevulnerable transforms the way we
(02:22):
live, love, parent and lead.
Brene Brown talks about howbeing present means focusing on
the speaker, making constant eyecontact, not cutting off their
sentences and, most importantly,not formulating a response
until they have completed theirthought, because, really, how
can we have a response if wereally haven't listened to
(02:45):
everything they've said?
The next thing is to have asolid reflection.
Paraphrasing and reflecting onwhat the speaker said confirms
your and their understanding ofthe information.
Rogers and Farson, in 2015,talked about their topic in the
book Active Listening.
In Carl Rogers', "onversationswith Carl Rogers, they emphasize
that without a clearunderstanding of what is being
(03:07):
said, it's highly likely theintended message will get lost.
And once you're doing all this,you have to clarify what's
going on.
So how do you ensure that whatwas said was fully understood?
How do you ensure that youunderstood everything?
Ask questions.
Asking questions every time andwhen you've asked a couple of
questions, ask two more.
(03:28):
Asking questions clarifiesthese points that you don't
understand or, even moreimportantly, where you think you
understand something but itturns out you really didn't.
And the last thing is to haveempathy.
Being empathetic can bedifficult.
I get it, especially if youdon't like the person or if
you've already decided you don'tlike the topic or the idea.
(03:48):
But here's the thing You're theleader.
It's your job to be unbiasedand take the time and be
empathetic.
It's not easy but too bad.
This is your job.
But now that we've listened towhat active listening entails,
let's discuss why it matters.
The first thing about activelistening is that it builds
(04:10):
trust In the Art of Listening.
How Leaders Create Trust.
Leadership development journalBatten in 2015 discusses how
active listening fosters anenvironment of trust.
Active listening fosters anenvironment of trust.
Covi takes this one stepfurther by explaining that when
team members feel heard, theyare more likely to share their
ideas and concerns openly.
And, as the leader, it's yourjob to create an environment
(04:31):
where people feel as though theycan safely share their ideas
and thoughts.
The other thing about activelistening is that it improves
communication.
It's no secret that effectiveleaders who practice active
listening encourage a feedbackloop that enhances team
collaboration and reduces allthose little misunderstandings
that always happen.
The other thing about activelistening is that it provides
(04:54):
for an enhanced problem solving.
In HBR's 10 Must Reads onCollaboration, it discusses how
good leaders understand thenuances of their team's
challenges and, by using activelistening, leaders can gather
critical information andperspectives about their team
members, enhancing theirknowledge of what makes their
team players tick and, in turn,helping them understand what
(05:16):
motivates them and how to getthe most out of their team
members.
The last thing about activelistening is that it empowers
teams.
When a leader genuinely listens, truly, truly listens, their
team members will feel heard andinevitably they'll feel
empowered, valued, heard againand acknowledged.
(05:36):
And this sweet spot is whereleaders they get the most honest
and frank conversations, which,of course, leads to increased
motivation and productivity.
Glen (05:48):
Oh, hello there.
It's Glen, the voiceover artist, and if you're hearing me, that
means we're at the midpoint ofthis episode.
Do you have an idea for anepisode that you feel is vital
for emerging leaders?
Leave the idea in the commentsection and, if your topic is
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(06:09):
So drop us a note and let'stalk.
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review to help us grow ourfollowing.
And now back to the show.
Simon Kardynal (06:30):
So, now that
we've talked about what active
listening is and why it matters,let's discuss how to practice.
Let's discuss how to practiceactive listening.
I mean, obviously, the firstone is to be fully present.
Being fully present is thefoundation of active listening.
It means dedicating yourcomplete attention to the
speaker and the conversation athand, and folks, I know this is
(06:53):
not easy.
Most of us are programmed tostart formulating an idea before
we've heard everything.
But if we stay there, if theperson who is speaking knows
that we are there the whole time, I promise you you will reap
rewards of that that you won'teven see coming.
It's amazing.
The other thing to do this is toeliminate all kinds of
distractions.
Identify any distractions youhave in your environment and
(07:15):
minimize them.
This means closing unnecessarytabs on your computer, silencing
your phone, stepping away froma noisy workspace.
It doesn't really matter.
What you need is adistraction-free zone that tells
both you and the speaker thatthis conversation is a priority.
The other thing is to beauthentically mindful.
Mindfulness is the practice ofgrounding yourself in the moment
(07:37):
by focusing on your thoughts,feelings and surroundings
without judgment.
Cultivating mindfulnessenhances your ability to be
present.
I recommend engaging inmindfulness preparation
exercises such as deep breathingor brief meditation prior to
any of your conversations.
These type of exercises canhelp you clear your mind before
(07:58):
a conversation.
These type of exercises canhelp you clear your mind before
a conversation.
Personally, what I do is I makesure my phone is actually off,
it's completely off, so that Ican stay in that moment.
And if I know it's going to bea long conversation or something
difficult, or if I know I haveother things going on in the
back of my mind, I will go overmy notes again just to make sure
that I'm ready to go, and thathelps set my mind for how I'm
going to attack whatever thisconversation will be.
(08:26):
The next thing is to adopt openbody language.
Nonverbal communication plays asignificant role in expressing
your presence.
Face the speaker directly,maintain eye contact and let
them finish their sentences.
Open body language communicatesthat you are engaged and
receptive and if you remember,earlier I talked about asking
questions.
Here's the thing when you'rereading someone else's body
(08:46):
language and you think they'reclosed off, ask the question.
Just because their arms arecrossed does not mean that
they're closed to what'shappening.
Just because your arms arecrossed doesn't mean that you're
closed to happening, but thinkabout what they might be
thinking and then offer anexplanation, because most often
we're making an assumption aboutwhat we think.
Ask the questions, talk topeople and get it out there.
Be active in what theconversation is about.
(09:06):
The other thing is to learn toread body language.
This skill is instrumental tobeing a successful active
listener.
It's difficult, it takespractice and it takes a
willingness to ask questions.
There's a reason why I'mbringing it up twice.
It's that important and in thebeginning I recommend asking
questions and when you've doneasking questions, ask some more
(09:27):
questions.
If we don't, there are many,many challenges that will
inevitably arise.
It's, it's just the way it'sgoing to be.
And if you've been a long timelistener of the show, you'll
have heard about my Garfieldeyes and what those are.
That is where I, when I'mreally concentrating and quite
often when I'm activelylistening, I'm concentrating on
the conversation.
(09:47):
I get that furrowed overeyebrow and everyone often
thinks that it means that I'mreally angry or I'm not
disagreeing, when all it reallymeans is I'm concentrating.
I not disagreeing when all itreally means is I'm
concentrating.
I'm in the moment.
So I've learned over time thatwhen I'm about to go into a big
conversation to explain topeople.
Hey, listen, it might look likeI'm angry right now, or if
you're getting that impressionwhen I'm chatting with you, when
(10:10):
you're speaking to me and I, myeyebrows are furring over,
that's not me upset.
All I'm simply saying is I amworking hard to stay in this and
I'm concentrating on what'shappening.
And if you think that's what'shappening, tell me and we'll
have a conversation and we'llfigure it out.
And it works out every time.
The other thing is to listenwithout formulating responses.
The next point is to listenwithout formulating responses.
(10:32):
I briefly touched on this pointearlier, but it's so important
I want to bring it up again.
A common pitfall inconversations is thinking about
what you want to say next ratherthan focusing on the speaker's
message.
Avoid interrupting their flowby planning your response while
they are still talking.
Instead, pause and allow thespeaker to finish before
(10:54):
gathering their thoughts.
The other thing with this is toacknowledge your own thoughts.
It's natural for your mind towander during a conversation,
considering your own experiencesor opinions.
When this happens, gentlyredirect your focus back to the
speaker.
You might acknowledge thosethoughts internally, but
consciously choose to set themaside for the moment.
And again, I know it's not easy, especially in the beginning,
(11:15):
and especially if you thinkyou've already got everything
formulated and figured out.
But now is the time to stay inthat moment and ensure the
person who's talking to you getsall of your attention.
And while we talk an awful lotabout active listening, it's
also important to practiceactive engagement.
Show that you are present,offer verbal acknowledgments
such as I see or go on.
(11:35):
It encourages the speaker andreinforces your focus on their
message.
Additionally, consider takingbrief notes if appropriate.
This can help solidify yourunderstanding and attention
without becoming a distraction,and that's what I often do.
I take all kinds of notes andthat's because I know that maybe
something is important and I'llget moved on to the next
important thing.
So when I'm taking those notes,it helps me understand, to be
(11:59):
able to go back and make sure Iunderstood exactly what was said
.
It helps me ask betterquestions.
The last thing is rememberalways do the feedback loop,
paraphrase or summarize thespeaker's points to demonstrate
that you're engaged and toclarify understanding Phrases
like what I hear you saying isor so you're concerned about dot
, dot, dot.
(12:19):
Affirm that you are not justhearing their words, but that
you are processing their contentdeeply, authentically and with
the due consideration that it'srequired.
Well, that's a wrap from thefront.
In this episode, we talkedabout active listening, what it
(12:43):
is, why it's important and howto practice it.
Folks, I promise making activelistening a part of your
leadership repertoire willenhance their overall leadership
effectiveness and your overallleadership effectiveness,
improving yourself and your team.
Thanks for tuning in.
And remember leadership withoutpassion limits the depth of
your vision.
Glen (13:02):
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Be sure to join us next weekwith your host, Simon Kardynal,
for another episode of TrenchLeadership: A Podcast From the
(13:23):
Front, produced by iGlen Studios.
Music provided by AshamaluelMusic.