Maturity and Relationship Dynamics

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Friendships undergo significant transformation as we navigate through life, with old ties sometimes fading and new connections emerging. We explore the dynamics of growing apart, recognizing red flags, and the lessons learned through friendship loss—all while celebrating personal growth from these experiences, urging listeners to embrace the journey of change.

• Understanding the impact of time on former friendships 
• The role personal growth plays in altering relationships 
• Recognizing red flags and behaviors that weaken ties 
• Navigating the emotional weight of friendship breakups 
• Learning valuable lessons from lost connections 
• Celebrating the growth that follows friendship challenges 
• Emphasizing the importance of nurturing existing relationships 
• Encouraging listeners to embrace change and personal growth

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:04):
you are now tuning into trenches to trophies
podcast.
It's your boy, mate carlion.

Speaker 2 (00:09):
We lie, we lie y'all ever been in a situation where
you scrolling on social media oryou, let's say you, out at a
movie theater or a bowling alley.
Let's say you go back home,real quick, right, and you see

(00:31):
somebody that you ain't seen inhell.
It's like and y'all used to behella cool right now.
This could go one or two waysnow.
Either that's somebody you justfell out with, y'all just ain't
talking a long time.
It ain't no beef, it just y'allain't talk right, right.
Or it could be somebody that'slike nah, nigga, y'all fell out

(00:52):
bad.
Last time you seen them, y'allwas like nigga, I don't ever
want to see you again.
If I see you, it's like that.
But it's been years.
It's been like eight to tenyears.
You know what I'm saying.
How you handle them situations,bro.
Like how you handle that, likelegitimately, like, especially
being the age you are.
Now you see somebody you ain'tyou.
I mean, y'all is not cool bro.

Speaker 3 (01:13):
I like, like I said before, man, I ain't got no
smoke from nobody.
Man Like it's it's.
One person is that that I wouldhave an issue with, but
everybody else I'm just gonnakeep it pushing.
It ain't.

Speaker 1 (01:29):
But what if?

Speaker 3 (01:30):
What if?

Speaker 2 (01:31):
what.

Speaker 1 (01:31):
But what if?
And?

Speaker 2 (01:33):
y'all had no friends, and I don't mean like
necessarily like family per se,like that you might have fallen
out with, but I mean likefriends, people that you might
have considered family at onepoint, right, but they wasn't
born into your family, they wasjust people you grew up around.
Y'all went to school with youknow what I'm saying?

Speaker 3 (01:48):
let me spit it like this because I don't want to
speak personally.
Then, um, because personally Iain't got no, I ain't got no
beef with nobody, man, I ain'tfell out with nobody to the
extent I mean, that's, I feellike, but, um, in general, like
if I had an issue with somebodyand I ran into them and it was
an issue, man, I'm finna, youfinna get this work, and it's on

(02:09):
the level of why we startbeefing in the first place, like
what was it.

Speaker 2 (02:16):
What got you to that point?
Yeah, I feel like for me, I'vebeen somebody who's been
fortunate enough to say maybeI've had a lot of friends I
think that people use that termkind of loosely, you know what I
mean like I feel like I've hada lot of associates, right, but
when it comes to likefriendships, I have had a lot of
people who have, like, had mynumber.
We've hung out like I've, we'vehad deeper conversations and

(02:36):
stuff like that.
Or maybe we had an event andexperience like it's some niggas
who I used to rob with.
I used to go up in Schnucks andtear shit down Like you know
what I'm saying, who they got a.
It's a special place in myheart for them niggas.
Them ain't like my best friendsand no shit like that, but when
I see them niggas, it's love.
You know what I'm saying.
However, there's also people Igrew up with who we grew apart

(03:00):
but but I don't necessarily havethat same type of connection
with no more.
It's just kind of like we grewaway from each other.
There's a reason why I walkedaway from that friendship.
It wasn't just time anddistance, it was like there were
behaviors going on that Ididn't necessarily align myself
with.

Speaker 3 (03:13):
So now I'm like he finna say something, but I get
what you're going with it.
I'm thinking that you're goingthrough the aspect of somebody
did some dirt.

Speaker 2 (03:22):
I mean either way right, I mean both.
I feel like both ways right,because there's also those
people, Because there's peoplethat you know who initially had
smoke with me and then it justdied down out of nowhere.
You know what I'm saying.
It was like oh no, no, no.
Then it just fizzled out.

Speaker 1 (03:38):
You know what I'm saying.
I feel like now like the peoplethat had an issue with me or I
had an issue with them.
I feel like we grown now and ifwe see each other, we just
gonna keep walking unless it wassome real smoke.
Like, if it was some real smoke, I'm clutching immediately,

(04:01):
like, especially, all right.
So now it's a differentsituation, because if I'm
somewhere, I might be with myfamily.
So if I see somebody back inwhere I'm from, bro, no, I'm
clutching immediately no, like,but I ain't going to start
nothing.
You know what I'm saying Likebecause I'm with my family, or

(04:23):
whatever.

Speaker 2 (04:24):
I mean, but I feel like that's safe, right.
So one of my homegirls she hadjust shared a memory of Fourth
of July in St Louis, when themcats was downtown and they was
just like spraying A lot ofpeople had like 13 people got
injured or something crazy likethat.
Right, it was a wild situation.
But she's not black and thepeople she was hanging with
wasn't black, so it ain't likewe could say like oh, it'll only

(04:46):
be happening in certain partsof the neighborhood.

Speaker 1 (04:47):
No, it happened everywhere.

Speaker 2 (04:48):
Like it happened everywhere.
You know what I'm saying.
So it was like it was amongstthe people during that time.
So there's always somethinggoing on.
So when we say, or when Monteis talking about clutching, he
ain't saying for no reason, it'sbecause people unfortunately be

(05:09):
doing dumb stuff.
You know what I'm saying.
So, because we talking aboutexactly what we keep referring
to, that right, we keep sayinglike I don't have beef, no more.
I'm grown now I'm in thissituation.
So let's let's switch gearsfrom coming from that situation
right, living amongst thosetypes of people and being in
those types of situations, towhere we, at now, you had to
lose some people.
There had to be some friendsyou either lost because of
relationships or because theydidn't, they wasn't rocking with
how you was moving, no more.

(05:29):
Right but that's what I'm saying.
So, like, talk to me, you knowwhat I'm saying, cause obviously
niggas is thinking about thatshit.
You know what I mean.
Cause I feel like, for mepersonally, during the pandemic
that was that was big Likeduring.
During the pandemic, that wasthat was big.
Like during that, I feel, like2000, between 2018, 2020, like a

(05:49):
lot of friendships for mechanged, like the definition of
a lot of friendships changed,because my life had changed a
lot.

Speaker 3 (05:54):
You know what I'm saying, so, yeah, but then a lot
of them, boys, start showingtheir colors.

Speaker 2 (05:58):
You know, you know they start showing traits that
you didn't see before but I alsothink sometimes, when it's your
childhood friend, bro, like youforget people supposed to
change their behavior.
You know what I'm saying.
Like you forget that, like,even though you've known that
person for forever, they aresupposed to like grow I'm gonna

(06:19):
say something before, before Ieven get in, before we even get
into it.

Speaker 1 (06:25):
If you are a friend that I knew back in the day and
we ain't seen each other and weain't kicked it, we might have
said what's up here and there onFacebook or Instagram or some
shit like that.
But if we ain't seen each otherfive to ten years, I don't know
you, bro, like you know whatI'm saying, like we don't know,

(06:48):
we are not the same people aswho we used to be, and so I had
to realize that to some peoplelike we, not the same, you might
.
Hey, I don't know what you want, you don't know what I'm on we
are not the same I am a martianand see, bro, and I ain't

Speaker 2 (07:03):
going to lie to you, bro.
That's a more recent lessonthat I've learned Like
throughout my years.
Like I said, I've been morefortunate to be like I've always
been one of them cats who kindof floated Like.
I ain't necessarily ever been apart of one group of people,

(07:24):
like you know, because I movedaround a lot.
You know what I'm saying andthe thing is, y'all niggas said
that last episode, if you'vebeen listening these niggas is
repeating jokes, but nah, but Ifeel like this nigga be tapping
and whispering and shit.
Lucky I ain't got my headphoneson.

(07:44):
I can't hear shit.
Right, I can't hear thewhispers, but I do feel like, uh
.
So, for example, like Idefinitely got a couple friends
that I grew up with, people Iknew since elementary school,
but I don't rap with them, nomore.
It ain't no beef.
But I also feel like once Istarted making more adult
decisions, I recognized thatthey had no intentions to at

(08:06):
that time.
Yeah right, even if they did,they weren't acting on those
intentions.
So I feel like sometimes itwasn't like a friendship breakup
.
Like you know, I ain't one, Idon't want to be your friend, no
more.
It was more like a I'm gonna domy thing.
You know I'm saying I'm gonnamove over here and I wish you
the best.
You know what I'm saying.
Like if you ever need me, callon me, type thing.

(08:27):
But like as far as, yeah, likeday to day Situation Nah.

Speaker 3 (08:33):
You know what I'm saying.
I'ma say something real.
I don't know.
I'ma say how I feel for real,but you should.

Speaker 2 (08:38):
I feel like you should.

Speaker 3 (08:40):
If you a friend I'm not going to put family in this
category for this conversationright now.
But if you a friend, a homie orsomething like that.
If you ain't heard from me atleast once a year, you ain't my
homie.

Speaker 2 (08:53):
I see, I feel like, ah, that's hard.

Speaker 3 (08:57):
That's hard for me, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm going to
say on some personal you somepersonal.

Speaker 2 (09:10):
You know I'm saying, and the only the only reason I
say that is because, like I said, there's some cats that I was
close to like.
So my sister got a best friendand her younger siblings it's
people that I've known since Iwas in kindergarten and them was
like, them, like family to me,like I referred to them more as
family, but we could go four,five years without talking to
each other and it's like it'sjust respect, like I never
forget.
So I my cousin, right, and heused to do these kickbacks and
but I never forget, like it hadbeen a while since I had seen
him.
I popped up at his kickback andI remember dude was talking

(09:33):
about some niggas who was eyeingus on the other side and he was
like I ain't worried about themniggas, you know how we where
we at, and he looked at me and Iwas like, yeah, nigga, like I
just started Shaking my head andit's just like it's a thing you
understand, like, yeah, nigga,this ain't, this ain't that type
of party.

Speaker 3 (09:48):
I only said that Because I really wanted that
stamped Like right now.
That's what it is.
Yeah, that's what it is.

Speaker 2 (09:54):
But I feel like For you that's a respectable
boundary Because for a niggalike me, you be around niggas
who in four, five years, likewhat Monte was saying, they
could change, they could go tothe pen.
Niggas make stupid decisions,they could get caught up with
people who you know what I'msaying, or get on drugs and shit
.
So niggas can't shift andchange.

Speaker 3 (10:10):
Y'all know how I move .
Like I said, at least once ayear I'm going to check in.
Y'all know I'm big on thatright now.

Speaker 1 (10:29):
So I'm look, niggas don't hear from me a lot because
I don't be calling people, butthe people that make sure to
reach out and hit me up, like mypartner hit me up all the time
but like, and I don't never hithim up, that's how I know he
fuck with me the long way.
You know what I'm sayingbecause he, he like bro, I want
to, I don't know I he got afriends bro, but he make sure to
call me and tell me abouteverything.
Bro, that shit be funny as hell.

(10:50):
But yeah, so most people likeeven family members, bro, like I
, just I had to.
Sometimes relationships are hardbecause you have to distance
yourself from them.
Relationships are hard becauseyou have to distance yourself
from them, not that, like yousaid, not that they doing
something wrong, but they'rejust not making the right
decisions, bro, like they,they're not moving forward, yeah

(11:14):
, but I do have to say thisthat's, it sucks, because that's
not my place to say, oh, I'm,I'm not going to be your friend
because you're not thinkingforward.
But like people say in musicand you hear it all the time

(11:35):
millionaires, be aroundmillionaires.
You can't be successful beingaround somebody that's stuck in
one place and is not moving.
Can't do that so how?

Speaker 3 (11:47):
you?
All right with you saying it.
At what point should you beable to identify that the red
flags?

Speaker 1 (11:56):
immediately.
But the fucked up thing is, asa friend, we willing to step
away from them but not tell themabout themselves.

Speaker 2 (12:04):
I see.

Speaker 1 (12:05):
I feel like in multiple situations.

Speaker 2 (12:07):
That's valid right.

Speaker 1 (12:09):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (12:09):
But I also think that there's only certain things
that you can kind of tell peopleabout.
You know what I mean.
I think there's only certainbehaviors that you feel like can
be discussed with people.
So, for example, one of thefriends that I stepped away from
right it was more so some ofhis parental decisions that he
was making.
Now I'm somebody who doesn'thave kids.
You know what I'm saying.

(12:29):
So the ground I have to stand oncould be a little wobbly
compared to some views of somepeople, but I feel like some of
those decisions that they weremaking didn't make sense.
You know what I'm saying and Ifeel like I was like I vocalized
that, but other than that, likeI'm not gonna be the dead horse
, because like again, what pointof view do I have to come and
stand on?
All I can give you is my moralcompass and be like hey, hey you

(12:53):
, I feel like you need to bedoing this rather than this.
And once you continue to makethat, the other decision I
separate.
You know what I'm saying,because at that point you don't
want better.
You decide, you're decidingthis.
You know what I'm sayingbecause at that point.

Speaker 1 (13:07):
You don't want better .
You decide, you're decidingthis.
You know what I'm saying?
That was a breakup.
That was uh.
Yeah, I'm saying that was oneof them like you fucking up, I
can't deal with this shit nomore.
But have y'all ever had asituation where y'all had to, um
, like physically fight one ofyour friends and and it got
distant?

Speaker 2 (13:26):
I mean, I feel like growing up I fought a lot of my
friends like we fist fought alot of.
I fought, I fist fought a lotof them and things got distant,
came back.
Distant, came back, yeah, butlike as far, like I feel like
for me once I hit adult age, ifwe putting hands on each other,
nigga like bro, we at adifferent stage in life, it's
like why you that mad with me,bro, like what we doing to each
other, nigga like bro, we at adifferent stage in life, it's
like why you that mad with me,bro, like what we doing to each

(13:47):
other, bro, what kind of friendsis we to where we gotta come to
blows squabbling at this agenow no, that's what I'm saying
right now, look right, I'm gonnasay for me all right, we're
gonna stop talking about, for mepersonally, we squabbling right
now with no gloves.

Speaker 3 (14:03):
Then, yeah, that's different.

Speaker 2 (14:05):
Yeah, we got gloves on.

Speaker 3 (14:06):
Hey, we need to get Something off real quick, but
that's what I'm talking about.

Speaker 2 (14:09):
I'm talking about.
Like all these videos, we beseeing the niggas Open palms
Smacking another grown man.

Speaker 3 (14:13):
Nah, that's disrespect.
That's what I'm saying.

Speaker 2 (14:15):
That's a little further.
You crazy, you crazy.
Ain't no way I'm finna sit downand eat pop tarts with you
after that?

Speaker 1 (14:22):
Nah, because if we friends like us, or brothers,
whatever you call yourself.
Man, you put your hand onsomebody, brother, and y'all
ain't had no conversation beforethat.
Bro, what Nah bro?
Immediately, we have a problem,we have a big problem.
That's what I'm saying, bro.

Speaker 2 (14:43):
That's a different energy you bringing into the
room, because I agree that, likeas homies, you should be able
to have a conversation withsomebody.
Like if somebody has somebehaviors or something that you
don't necessarily agree with,you should be able to sit them
down and have a conversation.
But I also think that peopleneed to be like accountable to
their own actions.
Like how easy are you to talkto?
You know what I'm saying?
Like yeah, you want people tobe able to be open and say these

(15:05):
things, but you also got to belike, you got to position that
in your friendship you know whatI'm saying.

Speaker 1 (15:09):
All right now, me and my partner y'all know this.
Me and my partner always hadthis conversation.
But are we real when we notbeing real with the person that
we having a disagreement with?
Are we being real, like we ahundred percent real but we

(15:29):
ain't being real to the personthat we having a problem with?
Are we being real?

Speaker 2 (15:35):
I feel like the thing is when we say that we, we view
outward like, do people view meas real if I, if I fuck up like
this?
But I think really what youneed to think about is like
you're questioning yourself.
So do you feel like that that'sreal?
Like if you're not living up toyour own internal values, then
I would say yeah, I know, youknow what.
I'm saying I was, but otherthan that, you know what I'm

(15:56):
saying.

Speaker 3 (15:57):
And speaking just, I guess, being real in this day
and age, bro, it's just aboutbeing consistent in whatever you
believe in and whatever it isyou're standing on.
If you're consistent inwhatever you're standing on,
you're being real about it.
You know what I'm saying?
Don't waver, or whatever you'restanding on, you're going to
stand over there.
Stay 10 toes on that side Onover there.

(16:19):
Yeah, you know what.
I'm saying Don't waver, sothat's it like.
But if you talking about realnigga like, that's a different
story, different topic cause hedone.

Speaker 2 (16:30):
Seen it at the job, I'm like nigga watch but, bro, I
feel like that's hard right,because you also gotta wait shit
out like that's like it remindme of that day, remember he was
like when keeping it real goeswrong like nigga.
Yeah, you kept it real, goeswrong Like nigga.
Yeah, yeah, you kept it real,but y'all.
What's the result Of thatsituation, bro, like you gotta

(16:50):
be smart, you know what I'msaying.

Speaker 1 (16:52):
So Sometimes the result Ain't what you want.

Speaker 2 (16:55):
Yeah, bro, you gotta, you gotta weigh things out, and
I Nah, you straight, youstraight.

Speaker 3 (17:01):
I need to bounce back to the red flags though, man,
because of the.
Let's go back to relationshipsas far as dating, and red flags
Y'all want to discuss that, bro,okay.
Yeah, I feel, like who that thisis one thing I'm going to say.
We all ignore red flags, andthis is what I mean by that,
absolutely For sure, because ifyou venting to your homie about

(17:23):
something this girl or this manhas done that you don't like,
you are identifying the red flag, like you're saying the red
flag right then and there youknow what I'm saying so you're
ignoring that red flag.

Speaker 1 (17:36):
So I feel like we all identify red flags and we just
choose to ignore it yeah,because of the people that
either we are trying to get toknow or the people that we know
and we just trying to just likemy cousin.
It's a lot of shit that it'sjust annoying, but that's my

(17:59):
nigga.
So, yeah, I ignore it.
But now that's one person Itell the absolute truth.

Speaker 2 (18:08):
Hey, bruh, you can't be doing shit like that but you
gotta set the grounds for that,and I think that's the thing
that a lot of people forget,right, it's like, even if you go
read up on friendships orrelationships in any context,
the you can't hold somebody toexpectations that they're not
aware of.
Yeah, you see what I'm saying.
So, like in y'all, in y'allrelationship, there has been a

(18:29):
time at some point where y'allsat down it was like, hey,
motherfucker, don't lie to me,I'm not gonna lie to you.
You tell me everything, I'mgonna tell you everything.
Like you know what I'm saying.
Like there, had to be a placewhere I did that.

Speaker 1 (18:40):
But he said dating, bro, ain't too many red flags.
I'm gonna be like, uh, yeah,nah, I'm gonna keep no hell nah.

Speaker 2 (18:52):
Listen.

Speaker 1 (18:53):
Like cause when I was young.

Speaker 2 (18:55):
I'm like, come on, bruh, when I was.

Speaker 1 (18:56):
Nah, bruh Cause, when I was young Bruh it was it was
certain shit, I wouldn't fuck, Iwould not Be fucking with you.

Speaker 2 (19:03):
Like what, though, nigga Cause?
Ain't you trying to tell me itwasn't no cute chick With no bad
breath, that you look past Hell?

Speaker 1 (19:09):
nah, yes, it was.

Speaker 2 (19:10):
That's what I'm saying.
Like you know what I'm saying,I look way past her ass.

Speaker 1 (19:13):
Fuck.
He better be clean Up in thismotherfucker what.

Speaker 2 (19:18):
But you know, that was just an example, but you
know what I'm saying, so youtrying to tell me you ain't had
no bop Growing up bro.
Like no butter face or no likeokay, so look, so look, I've had
relations with those type ofchicks.

Speaker 3 (19:38):
I ain't had no relationship you ignore the red
flag with I ignored a lot ofthem motherfuckers.

Speaker 1 (19:52):
Yes, I did.
Because it was people tellingme hey, why is he doing that?
I don't even know how they knewI was doing shit.

Speaker 2 (20:00):
I mean don't get me wrong, bro.
Not everybody you know what I'msaying lowers their standards
and shit.
You know what I'm saying.
I've definitely been insituations where I took one for
the team, don't you?
Say a lie and say you did that,I'm like, yeah, nah, I
definitely yeah.
I mean, it's definitely beenmultiple situations you know
what I'm saying where you lookpast things.
Better raise the hand.
I definitely ain't gonna yeah,I ain't gonna front at all.

(20:21):
And if you, you're gonna takeit to the but those aren't red
flags.

Speaker 1 (20:27):
You did that willingly.

Speaker 2 (20:34):
I had a wicked moment .
It definitely wasn't a moment.
Nigga was making life decisions.

Speaker 1 (20:37):
Because I did it too, bro, so it was just like it was
one of those like damn.

Speaker 2 (20:44):
But when you say red flags, are you talking about
like personality traits?
Because you're talking aboutlike behaviors.

Speaker 3 (20:49):
You're talking about things people do you know what
I'm saying?
Yeah, go deep with it, becausewe playing around with it.
Yeah, but yeah, behaviors.
You know what I'm sayingBecause?

Speaker 2 (20:55):
like when I think of, when you really think about
that.
Right, you got to step back andbe like one everybody is a
different type of person andthen you got to think about Like
cause.
At this day and age, as anadult, you may tolerate a few
more things, you may be like Iactually been through some shit,
or blah blah blah hey, becauseremember, we was just talking

(21:17):
about this shit.

Speaker 1 (21:18):
So for me, where?

Speaker 2 (21:20):
uh huh, that's what I get for being a nice nigga.
Look, oh, you were sayingsomething Nah.

Speaker 1 (21:25):
I was just saying my bad Nah.

Speaker 2 (21:28):
nah, that was, I was just talking about my
perspective.

Speaker 1 (21:35):
nigga go ahead my fault no you were talking, but
look we, we heard something, uh,the other day, right, and the
guy was calling up his chick orwhatever, or the lady he was
trying to court called her upand was like, yeah, what you
doing?
She was like I'm getting readyto go get my nails done and he

(21:58):
was like, oh, that's what's up.
And she got kind of like upset,right, because she was like,
well, normally somebody would belike how much you need, you
know how much you need.
But he was like no, because,because you know, that's what
I'm trying to get to know youfor you know, I'm saying like I
do those things for the personthat I have a relationship with,

(22:18):
but I just finna buy that foryou.

Speaker 2 (22:20):
So that's a huge red flag, bro but see, I feel like
that's hard, because if the newschool, the new kids are being
taught that this line here isthe bare minimum, we can't
necessarily speak against themto say that they're not real.
They're being taught that thisis what they're supposed to

(22:40):
expect, and then get to knowsomebody, then you can fall in
love.
But they got to at least have acar, a job, six figures.
They legit are being programmedto think this way you know what
I'm saying.
So it's like yeah, like that'sthe baseline, when in reality
your daddies don't make thatmuch money, and if they do, they
had to work hella hard to makethat much money you know what
I'm saying like or you know whatI mean.

(23:02):
That's.
I think that's the situation.
Don't get me wrong.
It's not that it's not womenout here who deserve to have
those standards.
It's that, like all of y'all.

Speaker 1 (23:10):
You know what I'm saying?
Like dang, like everybody.
Here's the thing Like nobodydeserves the nigga who makes you
?

Speaker 2 (23:15):
think.

Speaker 3 (23:16):
I'm getting you right .

Speaker 2 (23:17):
Nobody deserves that nigga.

Speaker 3 (23:18):
Okay, what makes you think?

Speaker 2 (23:20):
Well, you Screw that, nigga huh.

Speaker 1 (23:22):
You know it's like, how are you going to feel that
way when you just now meetingthis man?
You know what I'm saying.

Speaker 2 (23:32):
Like what you just now met me, how you going to
take that, where you going.
But I think, okay, but thinkabout from your daughter's
perspective, right, like,technically, you want the best
for them, like, if you like, youlike, nah, I want you to date a
man who show up with a bouquetof roses on the first day.
I want you to date a nigga whopull up, open the door, roll out
a red carpet.
You know I'm saying I roll thatbitch back up, throw it in the

(23:52):
back seat, like.

Speaker 1 (23:53):
But see, you know I'm saying yeah, but see, I I do
have daughters and I want her torespect him, just like he gonna
respect her.
So that's disrespect, rightthere.
You thought you assumed that Iwas finna pay some for you, like
why, why?
You think that what?
You assumed that I was going topay something for you, like why
, why you think that?
What made you think?

(24:13):
that, but that's the new age,bro, like my daughter is going
to be able to have it forherself and she's going to look
for somebody that has it forhimself so they can have it
together.

Speaker 3 (24:21):
I don't, so this is my thing with that.
I guess I don't.
That's hard bro bro, I don'tthink that would be a red flag
for real cause.
I think that's a correctiveaction like that's what you mean
that's a conversation that youcan talk to this woman about to
see what her values like.

Speaker 2 (24:37):
It's a conversation so then you can educate that
person but see, I feel likethat's hard but that'll cause an
argument early.
I definitely don't rock withstuff like that, though.
Like I definitely have likebeen around somebody and they be
trying to argue with me likethe second time I've been around
.

Speaker 3 (24:50):
I'm like oh like somebody who's trying to argue
with the waitress and waiter andstuff like that's how you treat
people like this nah, but see,think about that though.

Speaker 2 (25:00):
Think about if everything else was good, like
their conversation was good.
They look good, they smell good, they educated, they got good
stuff going.
It seemed like the vibe is good, but you see them do that.
You feel like that's a, that'sa deal breaker no, that's
something.

Speaker 1 (25:13):
You see what I'm saying, like now, that's
something that you can work on,like that's something my
conversation made it to be had.

Speaker 3 (25:20):
What's what specifically?
What are you talking about?

Speaker 1 (25:23):
like if, uh, you're talking about the restaurant
shit yeah, yeah so if she waseverything that you dreamed of,
and it's just, we went out onenight and the service wasn't too
bad, but her standards were sohigh that she thought that she

(25:44):
could just disrespect the waiter, that'll be something you'd be
like hey, like why?
Why are you treating them likeyou can see?
How she take coaching you knowwhat I'm saying at that point
you can see how she receivescriticism like yeah, you could
test it out.

Speaker 2 (25:58):
It's a red flag that I feel like something that I
don't think it's worth cuttingit off, but I do think it's
worth a conversation I don'tthink I would say nothing at the
dinner.

Speaker 3 (26:07):
No, I think that's kind of nasty, because that's
just how you treat people.

Speaker 1 (26:10):
How many dates, is this the first?
Date oh, hell, no, hell no,because we don't know each other
like that but I would I ain'tgonna lie somebody like me.

Speaker 2 (26:20):
If everything else is good, i'ma talk to you about it
, and then i'ma see what's up,because i'ma see okay, do you
not like this nigga?
Did he do something to you?
Do you know this nigga?
There's something do I?
Something happened during theday like I'm gonna, I'm gonna
have, I'm gonna be moreinquisitive dude, I'm gonna take
you to a different restaurantsimp traits.
Hey, hey, hey.

(26:42):
I always been here for theladies, no, but but for real
though, like I'm, I'm justsaying like, if she rocking with
everything else, that ain't,that ain't something I'm gonna
let go, because that's why Iwanted to see how big a red flag
y'all considered that to be,because for me, if it's that on
top of other things, then yeah,but just that off rip.
I'm gonna have a conversationwith you, be like what the hell

(27:04):
was going on with that?

Speaker 1 (27:05):
like, damn like yeah, I gotta roll that back a little
bit too you know what I'msaying, like you was tripping
out on bro.

Speaker 2 (27:10):
Yeah, like you know, I'm saying like you, I probably
wouldn't even approach it likethat.

Speaker 1 (27:14):
I'd be like, damn, what do you do?
You know, I'm saying, make itas a joke, or something like
that but, then that's where youget the conversation and and be
like damn so yeah, that's whatI'm saying, though.

Speaker 3 (27:26):
so you talk, you get, you get to explain it to her
what you feel like she did wrong, how she should approach it,
but then she be like but heain't no buts.
So now you have a rebuttal.

Speaker 2 (27:38):
I'm done.
I hear you, I hear that, I hearthat because your mindset is
not open.
Yeah, yeah, you feel like youjustified in whatever you said,
instead of walking it back andsaying you know what.

Speaker 1 (27:54):
I did kind of trip out you explaining like that.

Speaker 3 (27:55):
Yes, so I'm not that's.

Speaker 2 (27:55):
That's that's.
You're disgusting because youdoubled down in your logic.

Speaker 3 (27:57):
I definitely agree with that.
You're doubling right, you'redoubling down on how you feel.

Speaker 2 (27:59):
Okay, y'all ever seen the movie boomerang with uh
eddie murphy yeah, so that'swhat it remind me of.
Like dude was picking out likethis, like the smallest thing,
like chick was bad.
He looked at the toes like ohhell, no, like I ain't, I can't
rock with that oh you, uh, you,kids boomerang, go, look it up,
right right, I'll be forgetting,like nigga it's, it's whole

(28:19):
grown adults.
That ain't you know.
Ain't got nothing to do withthat movie, you know, 89, maybe
I don't know, bro, hey he was

Speaker 3 (28:27):
young.
It was young.
Yeah, it was a while ago it wasa while ago, it was young Eddie
, Young Eddie, young Hallie ohyeah, yeah.
You want to see you on theshift real quick, man.
I want to talk on relationshipsstill, but hit on this when
losing relationships, how much?
And you get real with it realquick, Real quick and think

(28:49):
about it.
What relationship have you lostin your life that you want to
speak on?
That hurt?

Speaker 2 (28:54):
I've had a few Friendship family, you know
relationship.

Speaker 1 (28:58):
And I ain't talking about in death, but like.
I said it was a breakup, Not indeath.

Speaker 3 (29:04):
You can always speak on that, but I'm talking about
friendships and acquaintances.

Speaker 2 (29:08):
It's so many, though, dog, that's what I'm saying
like it's it's.
It's hurtful to sit here andactually think about it in
totality, like dang for me, onethat sticks out is my cousin
bruh.

Speaker 1 (29:22):
The recent shit that he snapped on my mom and my
sister and shit.
But before that even happenedit was.
It was more like him puttinghim, putting his family members
in situations, brother, thatcould potentially get us locked
up and shit like that.
You know what I mean.
Like taking our cars and shitlike that, just because he feel

(29:45):
like who he is, he can do whathe want.
You know, that kind of dampenedour relationship in the
beginning.
Yeah, but because you did thisto my mom and my sister, I ain't
even hurt, bro, like I'm moreangry about it.
And then I rapped with his sonand shit and he was like yeah,

(30:06):
he was like he don't fuck withyou.
And I was like, bro, you wentoff on my mom and now you
talking about you don't fuckwith me.
You know what I'm saying?
So like it's just shit likethat.

Speaker 3 (30:16):
Like like I said, you're doubling down on it yeah,
bro, like so it's shit likethat, bro.

Speaker 1 (30:22):
Like I really don't, I really don't fuck with people
that do that, bro, and I meanI'm at the age in my life when I
cut you off, you cut off bro.
My mom is like, hey, I'mwilling, because he's still
family, I still want to, youknow, support him.
And I'm like, fuck that.

Speaker 2 (30:40):
No, I can't do it, mom, that's understandable but
also I feel like that's hard,bro, because I feel like that
come from loss, that come fromlike dealing with disrespect for
so long that you get kind offed up with it.
So you get some real strictboundaries in place.
You know what I'm saying, yeah,and like I feel like that's
tough right, because it's likeyou shouldn't have to live that
way, you shouldn't have to havehad to make those decisions.

(31:03):
But I also have to understandthat you in it to protect
yourself.
So you got to make sure thatyou keep those boundaries in
place.
Like I always tell my wife,cause I've, like I told y'all
like I'm somebody who's had alot of different friendships and
because my family is small,I've always considered friends
like my family in differentcontexts.

(31:23):
You know what I'm saying.
But with that, when you losethose friends, it's like losing
family.
You know what I mean.
So it's like that's what I said.
It's been hurtful in a lot ofcontexts.
I got people who nigga, Ithought I'd be with for forever
you know what I'm saying cast.
I was like that's my, that's,bro, what you mean.
Like you know what I'm saying.
Or that's this what you mean,like whatever the case is, and
then something transpired wherethat no longer is the case.

(31:44):
But even with motherfucking, uh, people updated bro, updated
bro, like nigga, I'm a lover bro, like that shit be hurting bro,
you know what.
I'm saying Like for real, cuz ithurts Bruh.

Speaker 1 (31:56):
But I feel like, I felt like there was puppy love.

Speaker 2 (32:01):
That's why it hurt.

Speaker 1 (32:02):
It hurt so bad, I mean it's developmental, bro it.

Speaker 2 (32:05):
It caused you to grow and I that's something that
I've accepted in life.
You know what I'm saying.
Pain is the thing that, like,help you grow.
So I understand that, like now,it was beneficial for a nigga,
but going through, it.

Speaker 3 (32:15):
It was like bruh bruh like nigga the world is ending,
nigga.

Speaker 1 (32:20):
What are you saying right now?

Speaker 3 (32:21):
oh my god like bruh nah so that's the only thing I
can really speak to.
I haven't really had anyfriends or homies that I've lost
with a falling out that Ireally call my partners for real
, I think I've been veryselective on who I let close for
real in that capacity.
But as far as relationships,yeah, you know what happened,

(32:43):
boy.
Yeah, yeah, we got across somewaters.
I was out in that sandickingsand, Punching Sandbags, bro.
You know I can't do nothingthat hurt hit different bro, but
be on this.
Nokia phone Paying for minutes,calling back stateside
Stressing.

Speaker 2 (32:59):
Stressing man.

Speaker 3 (33:00):
You know what I'm saying so.
And then amongst other things,I was dealing with Bruh, but
Well, yeah that Picked up mystomach and really, like I said,
being gone Boy, I can't donothing.
Shout out to somebody inparticular.
They know who they is, withsomebody I can holler at during
that time frame.

Speaker 2 (33:20):
But okay, so let's stay in that pocket, right,
Because?
I feel like that's an unspokenthing, right, how we get through
those situations.
It's a lot of people that comein clutch.
It be cats that come fromstraight out of left corner like
be like damn that nigga camethrough and help because if it
wasn't for that motherfuckerduring that particular period of
time you like she did thatthing hey, and it's crazy, bro,

(33:46):
because I've had, I've hadfriends and I'm not gonna say
I've had friends because theystill friends, but we don't talk
like that.

Speaker 1 (33:54):
Yeah, but I remember I used to date this chick but I
got into an accident and shestraight pulled up and was
trying to take care of a nigga.
I was like damn you know whatI'm saying like she bro, she bro
, she didn't want nothing, bro,she was just like she fuck with
me, like that.
So I was like damn, like peoplereally do you know, fuck with

(34:15):
you the long way.
And I guess I don't know, bro,what they I don't know like I
guess being cool with them isjust that in return, bro, that's
all they need, that's enough,yep bro, that's all they need.
That's enough yup, yup, andthat's the.
That's the friends you want,bro them, the friends you want.

Speaker 3 (34:32):
Like that's about they feel fulfilled with just
you know what I'm saying justshowing up hollering at me yeah.

Speaker 1 (34:37):
I would have shot you out.
I swear to God.

Speaker 3 (34:39):
But uh I am like I'm gonna edit this.
I ain't gonna lie to you.
I'm gonna do it right now manShout out to you, shout out for
me personally.
Shout out to Tavis.
Shout out, shout out Jock.

Speaker 2 (34:51):
Nigga gonna shout out the whole Spartan squad.

Speaker 3 (34:54):
nigga Nah not even that about it For real.
I ain't gonna lie.

Speaker 1 (34:58):
Shout out.
I can't shout out.
Everybody, bro.
I'm like bro, if I'm selective,I'm a massive, big.

Speaker 3 (35:03):
It's easy for me to do that because I ain't got too
many bruh.

Speaker 2 (35:08):
Y'all niggas gonna get Shout out with different
stories Along the way.
Niggas, it's too many, causelike when you say Especially
cats that showed up For you, youknow what I'm saying, cause
there's certain people that showup that that help change the
trajectory Of your life indifferent ways.
You know what I'm saying.
But even all three of usSitting here, that's why where
we are, because niggas was ableto build off of each other.

Speaker 3 (35:27):
I got more homies that I got from the military
than from back home, though.

Speaker 2 (35:31):
Really, yeah, I mean, but that makes sense to me
because y'all I mean you goingthrough the same type of shit.
It's like a big ass footballteam, like y'all had a bunch of
niggas who y'all niggas had to.
Eat and sleep and shit, youknow what I'm saying, so it's
different.

Speaker 3 (35:51):
Nah.

Speaker 2 (35:52):
Nigga said nah, not all them niggas.

Speaker 1 (35:54):
I mean nah, not all of them, cause you don't like
all of them.

Speaker 3 (35:57):
You like, fuck some of them, niggas.
But you know, nigga, I ain'tdying for you, boy.

Speaker 1 (36:00):
Nigga get ready.
Oh they shooting.

Speaker 3 (36:05):
You finna be a butter sponge, probably finna grab
your ass.

Speaker 1 (36:08):
You gon' die first, nigga.

Speaker 2 (36:13):
Oh man, I ain't going , but is there any relationships
or friendships that y'all feellike?
Ultimately, when it ended, itmade you better.
Yeah, oh wait, you know whatI'm saying?
Yeah, so like.

Speaker 1 (36:22):
That when I was speaking of you know my partner,
bro, I mean bro.
We know my partner bro, I meanbro, we, ah, man, that was my
dog, but we got into it andfought and I think that ruined
it all.
Man, and he was one that wasspeaking on my relationship that
I was in at the time and it waslike you know how it is, bro,

(36:44):
you really, as a friend, bro,you just don't, you don't speak
on that man relationship.
You know what?
I'm saying plus, he was datingone of my exes at the time.
So it was like double down, youknow what I'm saying?
Like I, but I didn't reallycare, bro, because he was
infatuated with that girl.
So it was like, bro, I don'tcare about that, but at the same
time hold on nigga did you?

Speaker 3 (37:04):
did you know he was a facet way with it?
Yeah prior to you, but sheliked me.
I can't do nothing about that,bro, like sorry hey you slime me
nigga, hey, but no, I mean, Imean I didn't know and I didn't.

Speaker 1 (37:25):
I mean it wasn't, it wasn't like it wasn't like Bro
was like oh, I want her.

Speaker 2 (37:29):
And I was like she like it took her.

Speaker 1 (37:31):
No, I was about to recognize she was bad and was
like yeah, but I didn't knowthat he was like In Chicago
slang you broke this, bro.
I didn't know, I didn't know.
It wasn't my fault, man.
It wasn't my fault, man.

Speaker 2 (37:50):
But I feel like were solid at the time.
You kind of realize and youstep back and look at kind of
how they life with you, like Iwasn't supposed to be here for
that.

Speaker 1 (37:56):
Like I wasn't supposed to be around for what
they got going on.
Bruh be bringing down one of myother homeboys, bro.
He called me and was like bro,I need $15.
I was like I'm gonna pay youback.
I said man, look, do not pay meback.
I said pay me back by notgetting yourself in a fucked up
situation yeah, like watching,you know and I love that nigga,

(38:20):
bro, I love that nigga to death.
But if he died, yeah, I'm goingto his funeral for sure, and I'm
going with full force with myfamily and everything, but at
the same time, bro, you, Ididn't do that to you bro.
Yeah, like I told y'all niggaswhat I'm doing and how I'm doing
it, and it's if y'all ain'twith it, bro, like y'all ain't
with it bro, I had a wholestudio in my basement.

Speaker 2 (38:39):
Bro, niggas ain't want to come through see, that's
something to talk about,because that's what that's that?
Them, the friendships that I'mtalking about, bro, because when
you sit back and you thinkabout it, it's not that you
don't love them niggas, it's notthat they not your
motherfucking friend, it's justthat whatever decisions that
they making, they can't come.
You can't come with me.
You know what I'm saying.
Like whatever they got going onunfortunately you can't come

(39:00):
over here like everybody can'tgo you know what I'm saying.

Speaker 3 (39:03):
My mama said I can't have company you can't come over
hey, it was weird too.

Speaker 1 (39:09):
Bruh kept getting locked up and getting out, uh oh
.

Speaker 3 (39:13):
Uh, oh, uh oh.
You know, what I'm saying.

Speaker 1 (39:16):
Ay, but I didn't pay attention to it Until I got hurt
and the homeboy called me andwas like, did you ever pay
attention?
And that nigga kept gettinglocked up With all these pills
and just kept getting out.
I was like, no, but damn, headsplint Didn't realize that.
But yeah, man, I had a lot offriends that I lost, bro, that

(39:39):
made me better.

Speaker 3 (39:41):
That made me a lot better.
I can highlight it, man.
Y'all know, recently I lostsomething that made me better.

Speaker 1 (39:49):
Most recently.
You know what I'm sayingtripping do you feel every
relationship like with a girlmade you better in some type of
way, though?

Speaker 3 (40:01):
definitely everyone.

Speaker 2 (40:02):
Everyone what's that was crazy that's supposed to be
the importance of dating.
I think that's the problem.
We get away from it because werun away from heartbreak and
stuff.
But if you think about it,that's why we're supposed to
date a bunch of people whenwe're young, because you're
supposed to get through it.
It's supposed to grow you,you're supposed to learn what
you want I learned through thisone.

Speaker 3 (40:19):
I value this.
Yeah, learn through this one.
No, I need this.
I learned through this one.
I can receive this.
It's possible.
Yeah, you know what I'm saying,so, yeah, you learn you should.

Speaker 1 (40:29):
Lots of relationships , and they always say that you
have Three beautifulrelationships.
Well, two beautifulrelationships, and then you have
One that you married.
You think that's true?

Speaker 3 (40:42):
You said that One that you married.

Speaker 2 (40:44):
Two beautiful relationships, and then one that
you married.

Speaker 3 (40:46):
I'm behind.

Speaker 2 (40:47):
I'm behind the power curve.

Speaker 1 (40:48):
In your case, I'm screwed.
You blew it.
I don't know how you.
You went backwards, nigga, andhere they I'm going to marry
this one, divorce this one, andthen I'm going to go down the
line and I'm just going to havea good relationship.

Speaker 3 (41:05):
But some people do that, though.
I mean that nigga, they gottheir uncle, they got that one
relationship that for thelongest His homie.
That's their friend.
They're together.

Speaker 2 (41:13):
He's going to be sitting on the back porch
telling stories.
Now look, young blood Withnephew.
Now I see you didn't broughther up in here, but no, but
that's the person you marry.

Speaker 1 (41:23):
You marry your friend , bro.
I had enough relationships tobe like.
I don't want to be like thisanymore.
This nigga had to have me.

Speaker 3 (41:40):
Hey, I was like it's over, I'm I am looking for a
queen, nah, but straight up, man, I mean I want to cut this
because I want to hear from this, because I know your transition
when you got out here so I meanevery relationship that you
have make you better absolutelyand I feel like like and when I
say relationship Cause, I wannadefine this right Cause
relationship In differentcontext.

Speaker 2 (41:58):
Cause I've definitely had Full on relationships that
I consider Cause you better.
That I was with somebody andthen I've had Talking
relationships.
You know what I'm saying?
That I feel like Helps grow youwhat's talking relationship.

Speaker 1 (42:07):
You know what I'm saying.

Speaker 2 (42:07):
I feel like somebody, somebody you you communicate
with for months on end.
Y'all may not be in a committedrelationship, but y'all you
have each other's attention.

Speaker 1 (42:14):
All right, so say he was talking to somebody.
Can you cheat with the talker?

Speaker 2 (42:19):
I think that's again, bro, that discussion was longer
than mine.
It's an understanding nigga, solike you, should have a
conversation.
But that's why I say like it'sa difference between when we was
dating and like these youngerkids dating.
Like for me, as an adult now,like you should be able to have
a conversation.
Like you know, you can talk towhoever you want to talk to.
I'm going to talk to whoever Iwant to talk to Now.

(42:41):
If you want to call me everynight, I'm going to answer
because I like rocking with you,but if you decide to talk,
can't get upset with you forthat.
You know what I'm saying.
Like that's supposed to be anunderstanding that you have.
But for me personally, hell yeah, nick, again, talking about
what I'm talking about, myfamily's small, so my dating
relationships was impactful onme, yeah, I mean so I definitely

(43:01):
had dating a few, dated a fewpeople, and I feel like they do
grow you every time.
I don't know I was still doinga lot of dumb shit during a lot
of uh, during a lot of thoserelationships, but I feel like
the last relationship I hadbefore I left my hometown.

Speaker 3 (43:15):
Go ahead bro.

Speaker 1 (43:19):
I don't know what he laughing at.

Speaker 2 (43:22):
And why you look guilty laughing.
I don't know.
Nigga hiding his head and shit.
That wasn't me.

Speaker 1 (43:28):
What happened?

Speaker 2 (43:29):
I'm sorry because I'm only laughing, because I don't
want to name it.

Speaker 3 (43:32):
I'm thinking of one particular relationship, but I'm
thinking of how, how did thisrelationship you learned from
anything or made you better?
And I'm going to give you ahint of who I'm probably talking
about.
You know what I'm sayingOccupation Fly the bird.

Speaker 2 (43:49):
Oh, I mean for me personally, relationship uh yeah
, this nigga, this nigga.

Speaker 1 (43:56):
I don't know why the fuck.

Speaker 2 (43:58):
I did it like a boat so so for me it was about
cutting things off sooner, right, like learning how to uh cut
things off at a certain stage.

Speaker 3 (44:08):
You because look nigga was ignoring all the red
flags.

Speaker 1 (44:11):
No look this thing he was telling me about him,
though yeah, but like for me.

Speaker 2 (44:16):
For me it was like, but you gotta think that was a
journey.
That was a journey for mementally, yeah like it was like
something I had to go throughexactly but like, but you needed
it, but every every step of me.
That's what I'm saying, likeevery step of every person that
I've ever dated, I I needed thatfor development of myself.
Even the current relationshipthat I'm in it has taught me a
lot about myself and the thingsthat I come from and how, even

(44:38):
though I come from those thingsthat don't make them correct.
So, like, even when we'retalking about these
relationships and losingfriendships, I'm not necessarily
saying that I was correct inthe way that I approached all of
these things.
You know what I'm saying.
I'm just saying that that wasmy stance on shit.
I felt like for my growth, forme to go where I was supposed to
go.
It was a lot of people that Ihad to cut off.
Like you know what I'm saying.
Like it's relationships thatyou hold on to that you've had

(44:59):
for a long time that you don'twant to let go and you gotta let
them remnants to get the fuckup out of there.
Delete them pictures, deletethem contacts.
You know what I'm saying.
And like you just watch yourlife kind of pushed forward.
But I definitely say to thisday, like moving down to houston
or the houston area is whatI'll say, but me moving down
here and like being able to talkto different people and kind of

(45:21):
get out of my hometown.
That shit in itself taught me alot about who I am and what I'm
able to do like and me beingnot willing to meet new people
and make new friends.

Speaker 1 (45:35):
That tells me a lot about myself and how I'm still
like closed minded about justmoving here or being out of St
Louis period.
I just I feel like I got enoughpeople in my life at this point
.
I don't want no new friends.
I've been hurt too much.

Speaker 2 (45:52):
And I think that that's kind of part of the
problem too.
Like, when you talk aboutleveling up, it's a lot of
leaving shit you leave jobs, youleave people, you leave but
you're really supposed to leavemindsets, you're supposed to
leave bad habits and shit right,because one thing we haven't
talked about is we've talked alot about shit that's happened
to us, but we ain't talked aboutthe trophies.
How the fuck did we get to thetrophies?
How did we get past thosethings that we said hurt us or

(46:15):
fucked us up?

Speaker 3 (46:17):
and now we we say we have leveled up right I feel
like my trophy is for me inregards relationships is I'm on.
I'm on the opposite of what mytake is, like I'm open to having
, at this point in my life, morerelationships and developing

(46:37):
friendships because I'm in aspace where there's networking.
You know what I'm saying.
I'm trying to network and growand that's going to come with
building bonds.
You know what I'm saying?
Yeah, developing relationshipsand friendships, and that's not
going to do anything but make mylife better and the people
around me better.
So why not?
And it's helping my progression, because I used to be in a

(46:57):
state man, I ain't trying tohurt, I ain't trying to be your
friend, homie, and I'm stillkind of off that.
If you just walking up on melike nah, it ain't like that, it
ain't friendly, I'm going tosay hey, how you doing and be
respectful, right, but that'swhere I'm at, like that's my
trophy, like I've grown intothat.
I'm trying to, I'm seeking outand trying to network and put

(47:20):
myself out there.

Speaker 2 (47:23):
I would agree with that, because I feel like and
then in your context you takethis how you want, because I
ain't saying you should cutnobody off but I feel like for
my life, what I've had to do islike the more people I lost, the
thicker the loyalty got.
Like I may have had morefriends that I did more things
with, but when I trim my myfriends list down a little bit,

(47:43):
those are people that I pouredmore into and there was a more
intimate relationship.
Yeah, so like that was kind ofhow how it happened for me.
Now I do.
I kind of I agree with both ofy'all.
I think I want to grow mynetwork.
I want to grow people that Ihave around me that are
considered resources and I canbe a resource for, like my.
One of my dreams is to literallybe a one percent owner in like

(48:05):
a bunch of companies.
Like I don't really want tocontribute that much.
I want to help you with yourdreams and get a lot of money
for it and then go about my dayRight, but Good to know you know
what I'm saying.
Like that's definitely justthat's.
I think it's good to 1%,because I got ideas.
Bro, I'm going to give youideas and go about my day.
You know what I'm saying, butthat's.
That's just how I feel like youshould go about it.

(48:25):
Man my and I feel like I misseda whole part of the conversation
.

Speaker 1 (48:30):
I was supposed to, like, say something, talk about
your trophies and stuff.

Speaker 2 (48:33):
Oh okay so, yeah bro, yeah bro, but I feel like so
for me personally, like the bestadvice I could give people is
to like lean into that shit,like something that like from
somebody who has experienced alot of like, loss and grief,
from relationships to all kindsof other things Acknowledge that

(48:57):
shit.
Like, I feel like life tries toteach you to tough that shit
out and like ignore it and justkind of keep your head down and
burrow through it, but step backand just figure out how the
fuck you feeling Like if you mad, acknowledge that you mad.
You know what I'm saying.
Like, if you, yeah, like and Ifeel like a lot of niggas are
scared of that they feel likethat's pussy shit.

(49:17):
But I feel like it's take astrong motherfucker to go
through your thoughts and yourfeelings and sort that shit out
and come out a better man on theother side you know I'm saying
so isolation.
Yeah, I'll do that quarterly youjust, hey, you feel like that's
healthy and I feel like, but Ifeel like it's intentional as
well.
It's not like something you dipaway from people and then you
gone for eight to nine months.

Speaker 3 (49:36):
You know what I'm saying.

Speaker 1 (49:36):
I be getting little heads up like hey for going to
that Western Nine Young, but I'mstraight yeah for me, bruh,
it's the silver lining, bruh,because, like, I sometimes like,
like, like, like I said, like Ihad to step back and be like
man.
This shit had to happen for areason, like all these

(49:59):
relationships that are lost,friendships that just grew apart
, and you just look at thesilver line, be like, damn, look
at what they doing, it mightnot align with nothing that you
doing.
So you might just not want to.
You know you good for them.
You know I'm saying damn, I likewhat you doing, bro, but that

(50:19):
ain't what you doing right now.
You know I'm saying so.
It's something that youshouldn't, even you, you you
wouldn't have been worried aboutor into anyway.
So you look at the silverlining, bro, you wasn't supposed
to be there.
There was.
This shit was supposed tohappen for a reason.
I don't even worry about it.
You know that's how I look atit sometimes.
But like they shit, like mycousin, I can't.

(50:41):
That's where I draw the line.
Hey, bro, my bird and my sister, bro, like, as I don't give a
fuck how old I am, I just can'tdo it, bro, and I mean that's
something I need to work on.
You know what I'm saying beingmore like my bird more like my
mom.
I feel like it's never going tobe the same, but I feel like I

(51:05):
could speak to him again andshit like that.
Be cordial, me not so much.

Speaker 3 (51:11):
Yeah, you know what I'm saying.
I ain't saying I ain't tryingto work on my forgiveness.
That's still a work in progress.

Speaker 2 (51:17):
I mean I feel like, I feel like the bro, I feel like
that's forever a work inprogress, though I feel like
because people gonna continuefucking up yeah, so you're gonna
gotta, you gotta continueworking.

Speaker 1 (51:25):
We're not god bro, we don't forgive all.

Speaker 3 (51:27):
We gotta put that forgiveness and reconciliation.
We gotta run that back.

Speaker 1 (51:31):
Yeah, but would y'all say that I'm holding a grudge,
though.

Speaker 2 (51:34):
I definitely think You're really good at that.
You're really good at holdinggrudges and not calling them
grudges.

Speaker 3 (51:41):
And then, because it's the principle, it's the
principles, is what I'm saying.

Speaker 2 (51:46):
And don't get me wrong, it's not that you'd be
wrong about it, but the call tospade, to sp a, it may be a
justifiable grudge.

Speaker 3 (51:54):
I feel like you know what I'm saying.
I feel like a grudge Is whenyou probably Start letting it
affect you.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (51:59):
Okay.

Speaker 3 (52:00):
That's what I mean.
That's what I mean, if it don'taffect you.

Speaker 1 (52:07):
Yeah, cause, would y'all say it's my attitude?
Like the Hulk, nigga, I canchill, like a motherfucker, I'm
good, but nigga if the situationever got to that point, nigga,
I'm going to bring that energy,just like how it was when I was
upset.

Speaker 3 (52:20):
That's what I'm getting ready to say.
I feel like something isaffecting you.
If you see that individual orsomething like that, you start
acting differently.

Speaker 2 (52:28):
If it take you out your bag.
So that's something that Idefinitely have learned from
some ogs like, okay, even whenit come to come to my woman.
My og told me he was like ifyou at the bar with your woman,
right, he was like your woman atthe bar he was talking about he
was playing darts.
He looked, he looked over as adude talking to her.
He went back to playing darts,right, because she'll let him

(52:48):
know if she's in danger, youknow what I'm saying, so he just
needs to play it.
Cool, chill.

Speaker 1 (52:53):
Same situation when we around people we don't like,
right, we should be fine as longas they don't get to tripping,
or doing nothing outside of thepocket and that's what I was
about to say like I I probablywould be chill and like, because
when we plan to be around eachother, uh, after that situation,
right, I told my brother I waslike I ain't finna trip unless

(53:17):
he start tripping with you.
And they still was like youneed to leave it alone.
I'm, I can be, I can be cool,but like I don't have to, I
don't have to be rah, rah, rah,rah, because I know I can fight
like I'm not worried about that.
You know what I'm saying theconfidence is there, yeah, but
like I know I could bang, likeme and bro, this is my big
cousin, but he taught me how tofight, so I ain't, I ain't

(53:39):
worried about that but I don'tthink it's, I don't really think
it's there, bro.

Speaker 2 (53:43):
I think that cementing yourself as a man is
more than that, bro, becausethink about back in the day, bro
, everybody was crazy and themniggas didn't used to say fight.
If you ever trip off there, bro, I want you to go think about
what the old head no, them oldheads used to tell you exactly
what they was finna, do Nigga,I'll break your leg.

Speaker 1 (53:59):
Oh yeah.

Speaker 2 (54:00):
And would break your motherfucking leg, nigga, I'll
cut you.
Or they pulling a knife out.
Nigga and finna cut you, that'sdifferent.
But that's what I'm saying, bro, it's a different mindset.
It's a different mindset.
That's what I'm saying.
These young niggas is the samething, bro.
Ain't nobody squabbling up?
Them niggas is shooting bro.
Yeah, nah, not right now.
Them niggas is All them Bro.

Speaker 1 (54:19):
It's like elementary, they just yeah, but this fight
you nigga.

Speaker 3 (54:34):
I just thought about when you was talking about old
heads fighting nigga in theepisode Boom docks.

Speaker 1 (54:39):
Two old head niggas fighting.
I was talking about the trashnigga, bro Tim.
Hold on, hold up, hold up.
Hey, most awkward moment of mylife, bro, yeah, yeah.
Y'all remember the episode ofthe next door neighbor dude,
what's his name?

(55:00):
Next door neighbor Tom Tom.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, f*** who.
He in the f*** episode.
Oh, bro, bro, I like you and Iwant you.
He's standing there, he justfinished fumbling the soap and
dude's standing behind him mywife walk in the room.

Speaker 2 (55:24):
She like what are you watching?

Speaker 1 (55:25):
And I'm cracking up bro.

Speaker 2 (55:28):
This is hilarious.
He's about to get fucked, whoa.

Speaker 1 (55:34):
I'm laughing like what the fuck?
It was right when dude wasstanding behind him, though.
Like right when it was panningto the.

Speaker 3 (55:43):
She thought this nigga was watching gay anime
porn World.

Speaker 2 (55:47):
Because there's layers to that shit, nigga.
It's like whoa, How'd you evenfind this, nigga?

Speaker 1 (55:54):
I said, baby, it's the boondocks.
Yeah, the boondocks.

Speaker 2 (55:57):
Immediately paused and tried to show the credits.
Look, it's the boondocks.

Speaker 1 (56:01):
I wasn't pausing that shit, but I was trying to fast
forward that motherfucker Babe,babe it's not what it looks like
it wasn't me.
It's not what it looks like,babe.
Oh, that shit was crazy, bro.
I swear Over with.

Speaker 2 (56:12):
Y'all niggas dumb, all right.
Well, since we all said that,let's go ahead and close out.
Any last thoughts.
Yeah, just say one last thing,just whatever Drop your gem,
whatever your gem is.

Speaker 3 (56:22):
Man faces up.
Man, Now that we're holidayseason, faces up.
Love to everybody.
Love on your loved ones, whileyou can All is why you can.

Speaker 2 (56:29):
All right, I'll rise with that.
I got a little somethingwritten down for y'all.
Just remember this right Let mewhip up my foot, nigga.
That's the point, nigga.
Damn you fucking up the outroShit, all right.
So look, just remember thisright Everybody want to eat, but
not everybody want to cook.
And when you start feedingyourself, some folks going to

(56:50):
starve because they don't knowhow to get it on their own.
But that ain't your fault.
That's life.
Just keep growing, keep pushing, all right, this has been
another episode of Trench theTrophies.
I'm your boy, ant.
We're here with Monte Corleone.
He's a unique artistry and weout.
Thanks for listening.