The Myth of Conditional Love: Challenging Chris Rock's Theory

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 2 (00:18):
what's good.
Welcome back to another episodeof changes to trophies podcast.
I'm your host, ant, and I'mhere with my boys, monte
Corleone and Unique Artistry.
Alright, here we talking abouta little something this nigga
finna start a fire.

Speaker 1 (00:32):
Yeah, man like hey, hey, nigga he rubbed his hands
getting like a bird man.

Speaker 2 (00:36):
Chill on my hands he said whoosh, look, that's
exactly what we talking abouttoday.
We about to talk about love andExactly what we talking about
today.
We about to talk about love.
Dry hands, niggas, look.

Speaker 3 (00:49):
Nah, what's up, what's up?
Nah, but for real.

Speaker 2 (00:51):
So, to bring it in, it's based off a quote, right?
So y'all might have seen thevideo.
But Chris Rock has said onlywomen, children and dogs are
loved unconditionally.
A man is only loved under thecondition that he provides
something.
What you said, y'all do.
Y'all agree with that?

(01:12):
Hell no, you sure?

Speaker 1 (01:16):
so you feel like, okay, okay, I'm just asking to a
certain extent, but go ahead myday like who.
Who are we referring to, though?

Speaker 2 (01:23):
I'm just saying.
The quote says only women,children and dogs are loved
unconditionally.
A man is only loved under thecondition that he provides
something.

Speaker 1 (01:36):
I don't provide for my mom.
My mom loves me.
I don't provide for a lot offolks and they love me
unconditionally, so I disagreewith that.
Do you feel like that's thecase for all?

Speaker 2 (01:48):
men?
No.
Do you feel like that's thecase for most men?
Most, yes.

Speaker 1 (01:53):
Okay, because, okay, I was just asking.
I was just trying to see howdeep your reasoning was,
speaking about a kid that grewup in the foster home or
something like that.
Yeah, I can agree, you knowwhat I'm saying, possibly that
there ain't no love, but thatyou know what I'm saying.
I'm pretty sure that thatperson went and found some type
of love.

Speaker 3 (02:12):
Foster parents also probably getting a check.

Speaker 1 (02:14):
huh yeah, they get a check for that yeah of course Do
foster parents not adoptiveparents I think both.

Speaker 2 (02:23):
Yeah, they get paid from the state, bro.
That's why people yeah, you seethem it's like, it's like now.

Speaker 3 (02:29):
I don't even know if I like that yeah, yeah it's.

Speaker 1 (02:32):
It's crazy because it's like you want the kid but
at the same time, you aregetting a benefit.
Did y'all?

Speaker 2 (02:37):
hear about that case that happened recently, that, uh
, that white couple that gotsentenced to like 300 some years
yes, they had adopted like fouror five kids and had them
living in like a shed with nobed, no, no bathroom it was like
tarp on the ground, bro, it wasridiculous living.
Because they was, they was used, they was relieving themselves
in a bucket, bro, like it wasridiculous beating them they
called they referred to them asslaves.

(02:59):
They adopted them to make themslave that's crazy, bro.

Speaker 3 (03:02):
Crazy for that.

Speaker 2 (03:03):
They need to be in an electric chair, but it's like
300-something years they ain'tgetting out, so they gonna die
in that gym.
Yeah, it's crazy bro.

Speaker 3 (03:09):
To spin back to what you you know, the question you
asked.
I feel that can also be playedthe other way.
Like dudes nowadays theyplaying For you know what I'm
saying, for a specific reason.

Speaker 2 (03:21):
For their benefits.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 3 (03:23):
Like especially these bums.

Speaker 2 (03:24):
Yeah, I mean, the women are making a lot more
money now.
They more educated, you knowwhat I'm saying, they the most
educated in class, these dudesout here just sitting at the
crib playing the game andsoaking up the food stamps.

Speaker 3 (03:33):
Mm-hmm, you know playing, stepdaddy.

Speaker 1 (03:35):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (03:39):
You know what I'm saying, like you ain't you not
well.

Speaker 1 (03:43):
Well, to his point, they not providing the service,
though.

Speaker 3 (03:46):
Who Providing, they providing the house, they doing
that, all this stuff a man woulddo Safety, security.
You know the type of deal weroll back in.
Yeah, if you paying bills.

Speaker 2 (03:54):
You know what I'm saying Like, but that's my,
that's my thing, so okay.
So let me.
You lost your job, you lost allstatus, you couldn't provide
Any more bills, like youraccount was at zero.
You couldn't get gas To gethome.
Do you feel like the women inyour life Would continue to love
you, or do you feel like that'sa condition that would cause

(04:17):
them to Like fall away from you?

Speaker 3 (04:20):
And Absolutely they would still love me.

Speaker 1 (04:23):
But Because they also know.

Speaker 3 (04:27):
I ain't, finna, just follow my face and not get up.
Try to get up.
Exactly, you know what I'msaying.
Yeah, they gonna, they gonnapull me up by the kind of man.

Speaker 1 (04:35):
You are Regardless if you lose everything.

Speaker 2 (04:38):
They gonna love you through that, because of who you
are, not because of what youhave.

Speaker 3 (04:41):
I'm gonna get an earful first.
Okay, you know what I'm saying.
They're gonna pull me up.

Speaker 2 (04:45):
Okay, does myself off you know what I'm saying?

Speaker 3 (04:47):
shout out to the black women and keep pushing but
everybody can't say that, yeah,yeah, right, and I and I
understand that, but that's whatwe're trying to change.

Speaker 2 (04:55):
Yeah, yeah, you know no, but I, I like the
perspective right because Iwanted to get y'all buying one.
I wanted to understand whaty'all perspectives were.
So before we dive in and I'mlike wait, we surprised by what
one of y'all say, we like holdon you know I'm saying that we
detour, now that we all on thesame page, right, because I
agree, I don't think that it'sbased off of what you have.
I think that the women in mylife, the ones that I hold near

(05:16):
and dear to me, they love mebecause of who I am.
You know what I mean.
So, regardless of if I had toreset and lose everything, they
would love me through thatperiod of my life, right, all
right, so moving on.

Speaker 3 (05:26):
Now hold on, Wait for the move on real quick, bro,
Because look, I ain't gonna lieto you when I first initially
heard the question.
I'm going to say yes.

Speaker 2 (05:34):
But I feel like you feel me Right, like, keep it a
book.
I'm going to say, yes, bro, butI don society, because if you
argue right men, do it to othermen and you won't.
We said before on the podcastwe don't have bum friends, right
, we don't have people thatdon't have nothing around us,
because that's a certainmentality that comes along with
that a lot of the time.
So if somebody says like, hey,I don't deal with men who don't

(05:59):
have anything because of thementality that they have and the
way they agree with us you knowwhat I saying.
They just may not approach itthe right way.

Speaker 3 (06:06):
But I don't know if it's love, but I thought, or is
it?
You know what I'm saying?
Preference, that's different,but that's based on the person.

Speaker 2 (06:14):
That's what I'm saying, nah.

Speaker 1 (06:17):
Cause.
Look, even though I don't havethose type, I don't have those
type of people around me, Istill love them unconditionally.

Speaker 2 (06:27):
You feel like you still can love them from afar,
without being in contact withthem.

Speaker 1 (06:30):
I still do.

Speaker 2 (06:32):
Like, but I can still contact them bro.
Do you feel like other peoplewould feel the same, though?
Do you feel like again like doyou feel like other people in
their life would still love themthrough that, or do you feel
like you're in a position to beable to love them?
Yeah, I'm in a position to dothat, okay I was just curious,
because it's.
I feel like it's not a commonthing.
I feel like because chris rocksaid it right one.
He's a notable figure.
Also, he's a little older thanus right so he's lived.

(06:54):
he's lived a little bit morelife, so his opinion resonates
with a lot of folks, right?
Yeah, and the segment I wasgoing to pivot to was that if
you look at media rightAcademics who's getting canceled
now, but if you look atpodcasts like uh, that's crazy
Cause I broke it up, but youthink about it, you don't see

(07:14):
nothing for real.
Oh he getting, bro, he gettingeverything stripped away After
that video.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (07:21):
To that point that I was making.
He still has that core fan basethat unconditionally loves him.

Speaker 2 (07:27):
But they're slowly going down.
So somebody was somebody made aYouTube video and they was
talking about like all of hisstreams, all of his like lives
and stuff have been likesteadily going down, like ain't
it, and not as many people beenlike attending them and
everything so by next year he'llbe, you know what I'm saying.
He'll probably still have acore fan base like a couple
million people, but he won'thave as much influence as he's

(07:49):
had in the past.

Speaker 1 (07:50):
And then you get Shadowban too.
Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 3 (07:53):
From the platforms and a lot of other platforms not
rocking with him so he can'tTwitch no more.

Speaker 1 (07:57):
He can't.
He can't go to other places.
Oh, he done, done.
Yeah, he done done.
If YouTube is the only place heat, it's you a rap.
And I think and Instagram youknow what I'm saying, stuff like
that, but I don't follow him,so he might have A couple other
outlets.
Yeah, I don't follow him, Ijust happen to see it On my
algorithms.

Speaker 2 (08:14):
But shout out to him Getting what he deserve, right,
but it's a other podcast, right?

Speaker 3 (08:17):
So Shout out to him, yeah, shout out to him, to the
end.

Speaker 2 (08:22):
Hey man, look, you get what you deserve bro, you're
doing stuff with kids.

Speaker 3 (08:26):
Bro, you gotta go.

Speaker 2 (08:27):
Like yeah.

Speaker 3 (08:29):
Your downfall needs to be shouted out.

Speaker 1 (08:32):
Hey, he definitely did Freaky ass, dude Boy dunzo.

Speaker 2 (08:36):
But it's other podcasts, right.
So, Fresh and Fit, Sneako.
It's other people that havethis what they call a red pill
mentality.
Yeah, Right, so they willresonate with what Chris Rock
said and feel more like yeah, Ifeel like you got to provide,
you got to be a high value man.
You know what I'm saying.
They don't necessarily sharethe same perspective we have

(08:59):
that women will love you throughyour trials and tribulations.
They have a core fan base aswell.
Talking about core fan bases,so they have the ear of a lot of
men who are watching theircontent and agree.
Not to mention, they have womenon the podcast who they
manipulate them.

Speaker 3 (09:14):
But I think it's the thing too, though I think they
saying that, like, even withwhat you're saying, women will,
you know, love usunconditionally in our lives
that we think would do that, weknow would do that.
But I think it's the mindsetthey pointing out of, like, if
men are looking for that, that'sweak.
If you're looking for thatunconditional love, you know I'm

(09:34):
saying it's still standing onyour 10 and and doing what
you're supposed to as a man,yeah, so I can agree with that
you shouldn't be looking forthat validation, right?
You know I'm saying I wouldagree with that.
You shouldn't be looking forthat validation Right.

Speaker 2 (09:45):
I would agree with that.
I would agree with that to adegree.
But even when you say whatyou're supposed to do as a man,
I think that that can becomemisconstrued to an audience, to
a wider audience, without havingyour same experiences.
They hear that, as I have tocheck these boxes to be able to
get what you.
You know what I'm saying To getX, y and Z.

(10:05):
So for them it's a means to anend versus it being.
Regardless of how you live inyour life, you deserve love and
compassion and you know you asksomebody here, give me.

Speaker 3 (10:18):
Here's a piece of paper.
A man or a woman is what?
Just start listening.
How many different lists wouldyou come out with with all these
people?

Speaker 2 (10:31):
That's going first of all, cats.
They all have a.
They have a sheep mentality.
So everybody going to know thatthis is the right answer versus
putting what they might trulybelieve.
Right, A lot of people are notgoing to stand on their 10
enough to put a unique answerdown.
So a lot of people are notgoing to stand on their 10
enough to put a unique answerdown, Right, you know what I'm
saying.
So that's the problem with themasses.
It's like we see something onTV, on a movie, and then we like
all right, that's what peoplebelieve it really is and that's

(10:53):
what they go by.
That's why celebrities are sodangerous because they set
trends.
So, whatever they say, they gota big TikTok page or something
like that.

Speaker 1 (11:02):
You know what?

Speaker 2 (11:02):
I'm saying I think that's what's dangerous.
It's the narrative that youhave to earn love and respect as
a man, versus it being anecessary ingredient to your
success.

Speaker 1 (11:17):
But you don't, though .

Speaker 2 (11:18):
You feel like okay, explain it though.
So you feel like you don't needlove as a man to grow into
success, or on what part?

Speaker 1 (11:26):
No, you don't, because I mean you do to a
certain extent.
You need those core people thatlove and support you through
anything.
But I feel like everybody hasthose one or two people.
You have those one or twopeople.

(11:47):
Now, if you seeking it fromothers like friends and stuff
like that, that's a problem,because early on you don't know
who your real friends are.
You know?
I'm saying like you develop andthen you can have a big group of
friends and only one personcoming out of that.
And then you can have a biggroup of friends and only one
person coming out of that.

(12:07):
And then you could go alonghaving just you and them, and
then you could meet anothergroup of friends and probably
just one person to come out ofthat.
And then it'll keep growinguntil you have these just group
of people.
That's solid.
Yeah, because, like, there'sprobably only a few people that
I love unconditionally, that I'mjust going to ride or die for.

(12:29):
It's very few.
Like one of my partners, like,we got this relationship where
we talk to each other every nowand then you know what I'm
saying.
But we've been doing that sinceI moved here.
You feel me, but I used to talkto him all the time when I was
there, all the time, becausethat's.

Speaker 2 (12:48):
That's my homeboy, so that connection right there.

Speaker 1 (12:50):
Let me know that I'm on his mind, so that love right
there for him it may not.
I don't.
I don't consider thatunconditional.

Speaker 2 (12:58):
You know what I'm saying, dig deeper than that
though, because what that mean,what that means like what do
those actions mean, like thoselayers of people that you say?
There's people that you, thatyou know, love you, but it's not
necessarily unconditional.
So you're saying there's acondition on certain
relationships.

Speaker 3 (13:13):
Yeah, like so look I agree with everything you said,
except for the first part,though I like explain no, I just
because um to answer thequestion.
I don't think a man needs loveto be successful, like or that
help.
Yeah, yeah, he would need it toget to a new level.
You know, I'm saying like youknow how they say um, you can't

(13:36):
you.
You, you can go far as a man,stuff like that, but when you
have a partner who's kind of onthe same page as you, we can
open up other doors.
You know, I'm saying that youcan go to another level and I
believe that.
A woman or a partner canelevate your life, you know, in
every aspect.
But you can still get to acertain level by yourself,
without any type of help.

(13:57):
I feel.

Speaker 1 (13:59):
Okay.

Speaker 3 (14:00):
Look at them, dudes that you've been locked down for
how long without any.
You know what I'm saying reallylove, yeah.
Yeah, you know what I'm saying.
Inside, you get out.
You ain't really got nobody.
You finessing everybody.
And you get out.
Them niggas ain't got no love,they ain't got no loyalty.

Speaker 1 (14:13):
They ain't get to a certainpoint, but see your example of
them being in jail.
That's already.
Their success is cut short.
So, like any successful personthat's went and graduated high
school, you have a level of aperson who unconditionally loves

(14:33):
you because they're waking youup like they don't have to.
There's parents out here thatdon't give a damn if their kids
go to school.
That's that love that I'mtalking about, like that
unconditional love that's goingto make you successful.
Like them, people that don't goto school.
You can see them, the niggasthat end up in jail because they
parents didn't really give adamn if they woke up and did

(14:55):
that.
But but our parents made surethat that unconditional love I'm
getting you up.
You're gonna be successful.
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
Think about them, parents thatwake up and tell their kids hey,
they say them little mantraslike you're successful, blah,
blah, blah, blah, blah.
They tell them to say it.

Speaker 3 (15:12):
Affirmations yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
But then you got parents thatthey'll make you get up and go
to school because they don'twant them people knocking at
their door yeah, but that'sstill a level of uh of
obligation yeah, yeah, I mean,but is it unconditional love?

Speaker 2 (15:30):
because I agree, because there's people who do it
, but for different reasons.
Yeah, right different, fordifferent means to an end, yeah,
and I think that I I guess Iagree on a surface level of it's
not necessary for for you to besuccessful, for a man to be
successful and have love, but Ithink it's, I think it is a
trait that is necessary for agood man to be successful, for a
man to be successful and tohave love, but I think it's, I
think it is a trait that isnecessary for a good man to be
successful.

Speaker 3 (15:49):
You know what?

Speaker 2 (15:49):
I'm saying Like and that's the thing like because I
agree with that you won't feelfulfilled, but I think that
you'll have a way lessfulfilling journey.
Like your journey will be a lotmore painful than it will be
like learning.

Speaker 3 (16:03):
A lot more bumps in the road you could have
navigated this way because he orshe saw it coming, you listened
to it.
It'd be less purposeful.

Speaker 1 (16:12):
Like you, he'll be going for like revenge.

Speaker 2 (16:19):
He'll be seeking success for like a beat back,
like technically successful, buthow?
You at the end?

Speaker 1 (16:23):
Yeah, he was like yeah, I did it.
Yeah, stepped.
Yeah, it's like.
Yeah, he's like, yeah, I did it.
Yeah, stepped on everybodynaked he up there by himself?

Speaker 2 (16:28):
yeah and that's what I don't want to be right, and
that's what we think about thatlike.
From our generation, weremember a lot of bitter old men
.
Yeah, talk to me, I ain't nevergetting married again.

Speaker 1 (16:36):
Yeah don't get married.
You know what I'm saying don'tsettle down.

Speaker 2 (16:39):
So your, so your world owes orthey, just they were preaching a
message that was not don'tfocus on women, right, that's
not important.
Make sure you take her you, andthat's not wrong to a degree,
but it was coming from a bitterplace.

Speaker 1 (16:51):
It was coming from their shit not working instead
of, you know, I mean teaching usthe right way to go.
But but see, we grown now so weknow that that man was hurt we.
You know what I'm saying,absolutely.

Speaker 2 (17:05):
Yeah, that's what I wanted to talk about.

Speaker 1 (17:10):
He was inside.
He was straight like man F thatF the world, but he was hurt.

Speaker 3 (17:14):
That boy found out that love was conditional.

Speaker 2 (17:16):
Hey, hey, he ran out of resources.

Speaker 3 (17:24):
She was like bye, bye , bye, bye, bye, mr Johnson.

Speaker 1 (17:31):
I think we have met understanding women well.
First of all, we met women thatdon't have this mentality of my
man.

Speaker 2 (17:45):
Gotta do this so you feel like you need to be a
balance, like you need to likeyeah, you gotta, bro, you bro,
it has to.

Speaker 1 (17:52):
Bro, like you got you as a, as a man, you have to.
You gotta take care of yourresponsibilities, bro.
That's, that's the thing.
Like you gotta.
First of all, you gotta knowwhat your responsibilities are.
You know what I'm saying, andif you got someone that's gonna
sit down and break themresponsibilities out for you you
know what I'm saying, with you,you know what I'm saying it'll
be better off.

Speaker 2 (18:11):
I think that's something to focus in on because
, like women say this, right,and I ain't trying to like bash
women or anything like that, butthey say and I think that's
what you was on is they won'tout, they want an emotionally
intelligent man, right, theywant somebody who can be rough
and tough when it's necessary,right, but also when they, when

(18:32):
they feelings hurt, talk themdown, be able to you talking
about specific women?
Though I mean and that's, but Idon't think it's just you hear
that they hear this boy.

Speaker 3 (18:41):
They're gonna be pissed off because you just
described a specific woman fromwhere we come from what you mean
they want an emotionallyintelligent man yeah, but a dude
that's kind of rough behind theedges, stuff like this.
Some women don't want that, bro, they want to be you don't feel
like uh, I don't mean like wedo we like you don't feel like a
woman would want you to defendit.

Speaker 2 (18:59):
Regardless of what you like, how you carry yourself
day to day, if something,something pop off, she going to
want you to show what's up.

Speaker 1 (19:05):
She going to want you to like show up.
You walked into my house theother night.
No, the women do not want.

Speaker 2 (19:11):
That's what I'm saying.
Who walked into my house theother night?
They definitely don't want youto shake you know what I'm
saying or hide behind them.
You know what I mean?
That's crazy.

Speaker 1 (19:17):
No, they don't want this.
Bro.
Y'all heard something Coming inthe house, or whatever, and you
like she's like, oh my god,like what's going on.
You like Go quick In the closetand she go in the closet and
then she get to looking and youright there With her, don't?

Speaker 2 (19:34):
make no noise.
They gonna see us, they gonnafind us, or you say Something
like oh, what was that?

Speaker 3 (19:41):
I don't know.
Let's go see.

Speaker 1 (19:43):
No ain't no, let's you supposed to go see?
You know what?

Speaker 3 (19:47):
I'm saying so nah, that's some dudes out here
That'll say yeah, let's go see,or you go see, I got this Right,
but they feel like that'sproper.

Speaker 2 (19:53):
They feel like to them that's hey, I'm surviving,
so that's I gotta like these new.
The new generation of men is on.
They don't necessarily havethat same chivalrous I'ma go die
for you mentality.

Speaker 3 (20:06):
Not him.
No, they out here putting handson women left and right.
No, no, no, no Putting hands onwomen Hold on.

Speaker 1 (20:14):
It's beyond that.
Niggas out here sitting thereletting their women change the
tire.
Nigga, fuck that Of course theybeating their women because
they ain't even changing thetire.

Speaker 2 (20:25):
Bro ain't even helping.
He in the car Watching Jay inthe car over there changing the
tire.
We can't have a nigga.
What are you doing, bro?
You on the side of the highway,bro, letting your woman do that
?

Speaker 1 (20:34):
But them the type of dudes that be hitting that woman
though you know what I'm sayingPeople that'll let that woman
do that Like bro.
What are you doing?
That's wild.
That's wild.

Speaker 2 (20:42):
Hey, look To let a woman change a tire, bro yeah,
and you be chilling in the car.
I can understand, not knowinghow, and she knows how, like
just by happenstance.

Speaker 3 (20:50):
I can understand the situation,but you need to be outside
watching.
Well, you need to be outsidehelping watching holding the
light doing something bro Can't.

Speaker 1 (21:00):
Get this.
Women are allowing that Because, guess what?
The dude in there with themoney, yeah, he in there with
the money, somehow.
These are the type of women thatbe like girl.
I just want to you know whatI'm saying a man that do this
and do that, and when shefinally get him, he ain't doing
like he got all the moneyBecause that's what you wanted.

(21:21):
That's what you, that's whatyou, that's what you wanted.
That's what you wanted.
You wanted the money, then theman that can take care of you.
But guess what?
You're doing all the work.
You're cooking, you're cleaning, you're cooking, you're you're.
You're changing the tire,you're changing the oil, you're
doing the brakes like you'redoing everything, like get out
of here.
You know what I'm saying, andain't nothing wrong with that

(21:41):
right like if you're a woman wholikes to do those things but
you shouldn't have to do thosethings.

Speaker 2 (21:46):
It shouldn't be to a point where, like your man,
don't at least try to learn fromyou if you the one who has the
knowledge you know what I'msaying Like that's just crazy.
Like you, definitely should belike babe, come watch me change
the style yeah, that's just,that's wild Like well, first of
all have to say that okay, butbut explain that right, because
there's different types of men,because what we're explaining, I
feel like, is a masculine man,that's somebody who has some

(22:09):
masculine traits about himself,and that's not everybody.
We understand that we've seensome very um, weak men.

Speaker 1 (22:16):
Weak men all right, that's.
That's the word.

Speaker 2 (22:17):
We're gonna say that so be, nice bro but at the same
time there's just men who are alittle bit more feminine, right,
maybe they were raised bypeople who didn't necessarily
instill masculine traits in them, maybe they learned in late, so
they just happen to be a littlebit more feminine than other
guys.

Speaker 1 (22:32):
My boy should be out on the side of the road waiting
on triple a but I'm saying aboutlove, though.

Speaker 2 (22:37):
Do you feel like masculine men get more love than
feminine men, or they deservemore love than feminine men uh,
I feel like masculine menprobably get it less you feel
like, just naturally, they, yeah, receive it less because you
think about a confident,masculine man, a lot of people

(22:57):
might be envious, not not morewelcoming.

Speaker 1 (23:01):
Like people, more people wouldthink like he already got it.
You know I'm saying like.
Then you know that's.
That's another thing.
When we were talking aboutmoving like you already got it,
we we move, like we already.
You know, like we already hadit.
But we got developed a lot ofhate because a lot of people was
like oh, oh yeah, you know whatI'm saying.
So, yeah, like people, I don'tthink they will even love you

(23:26):
the same if they feel like youalready got it.
Like it's different.
The people will treat youdifferent for real.

Speaker 2 (23:33):
Like certain people will.
Yeah, I think that's the peopleI'm talking about, right,
because you may have, like youstated, you may have one or two
people in your corner.
Those people may have been inyour corner your whole life.

Speaker 1 (23:43):
Right.

Speaker 2 (23:43):
It's also been a lot of people watching from the
sideline, kind of hating, youknow what I mean.
They close because they want tobenefit from you but they don't
really rock with you like that.

Speaker 1 (23:52):
What about that person that's been there all
that time and you start gainingsuccess and they start hating
you just because you ain't.

Speaker 2 (23:58):
How dare you leave them at the bottom?
How dare you?

Speaker 1 (24:05):
So close to home.

Speaker 2 (24:06):
But that's how people feel, bro.
You think about it.
A lot of cats is upset becausethey feel like they was making
either better choices than youor the same choices as you and
you ended up in a bettersituation than they in.
They feel like they deserve tobe there Luck of the draw.

Speaker 3 (24:20):
But look, so look.
I feel though.

Speaker 2 (24:25):
Luck of the draw is cold bro the masculine man for
me.
Um, they, they get more of therespect, yeah, and less of the
love, yeah, okay you knoweverybody don't respect them
more than they love they, they,they expect them, they expect
more from them or they count onthem.
I think that they get that.

(24:46):
There are people like trustingthem, but they don't necessarily
show them all the romantic orlike I'm just saying I'm just
trying to visualize.

Speaker 3 (24:54):
If you say in your mind a this person over here is
a masculine man.
B this person over here is, youknow, say, has more feminine
qualities of a man.
And if them two guys walkedinto a room, the women, what
kind of eyes would they receive?
Or not, not even women people,what kind of people?
Uh, what kind of eyes wouldthey receive?

Speaker 1 (25:14):
you know, I'm saying when they walk in that room
they're gonna respect and lookat the masculine man yeah other
guy can just slide in real quick, make good conversations and
make connections yep, it's a,it's a different presence about
it, you know, I mean they got adifferent what they say I was
told I had bad aura.

Speaker 3 (25:34):
That's crazy, son.

Speaker 2 (25:35):
I don't know I think it depends on the person.

Speaker 1 (25:37):
I think it depends on , all right, it's not a bad,
it's not a bad aura, but, likeyou have, you have a protective
energy around you.
Like it's it's a barrier, likeyou ain't letting people in or
you ain't letting yourself fullyout.
So, and I think people can seethat it's not bad, but they like

(26:00):
, hmm, who are you and them typeof people they can't figure out
who you are.
We know who you are, but theycan't.
People that don't know you.
They like you have a wild aura.

Speaker 3 (26:12):
Like you know what I'm saying Get them crystals
away from me.
That's how I feel.
Think about it.
Have you ever ran into some?

Speaker 2 (26:19):
shit and bounced off.
You ever ran into some shit andbounced off?
Yeah, like one of them big assballs.
I just want you to think aboutit.
What balls?
I'm not talking testicles.

Speaker 1 (26:31):
I'm talking the plastic balls that you run into
each other with and you bounceoff each other.
Them the Like, like, likesock-em-boppers.

Speaker 2 (26:42):
With bodies, ain't nobody imagine None but nuts
bouncing together At this point.

Speaker 1 (26:46):
That's terrible.
Okay, that's on y'all.
I ain't never seen that.
I said no testicles.

Speaker 2 (26:51):
This nigga, this nigga.
You go to hell.

Speaker 1 (26:53):
I ain't going with you.
I ain't going with you.
That's not what my mind was,but go ahead bro.

Speaker 2 (26:58):
But no, what I was saying was Talking about your
aura, bro.
Cats get mad Cause they can'tpenetrate, they can't get close
to you Without, like,sacrificing something.
So that's pretty much what.

Speaker 1 (27:06):
It's what it's combined to Straight from balls
To I'm just going to be likethat.
You know what I'm saying, andthen say shit after that, hey
man.

Speaker 3 (27:23):
Don't listen to these dudes.
We're trying to work on thevernacular.
You know what I'm saying, forreal though we ain't from New
York.
We ain't from New York, weain't supposed to be saying
pause all the time?
No, we not.
We ain't from New York.
We ain't from New York, but weain't finna be saying pause all
the time.
Nah, we not.
We ain't know that.

Speaker 1 (27:38):
We actually grown.
You know what I'm saying, Likethings.
You don't sound like it.
Hey, I might not sound like it,I'm a little bit ass kid, but
it's okay grown, you know Idon't.
I don't feel it necessary tosay pause all the time.
You know I'm saying like it'scool to play around and stuff
like that when we joking.

Speaker 3 (27:59):
But seriously, I don't think like that if you
gotta sit there and say pauseand everything, why your mind's
always in that?
Gutter bro, like, say what youmean, mean what you say.
Yeah, we should be able tounderstand what you mean.
You know what I'm saying, aboutyour energy, about what you're
saying, so go ahead and bro,nothing else to say man nothing

(28:26):
else to say, no, but Iappreciate that because, like I
said, that's something I'mconstantly working on, though,
because clients that I you knowwhat I'm saying Interact with,
they don't sense that.

Speaker 2 (28:36):
Yeah, because.

Speaker 3 (28:37):
I try to make sure I don't give up that it's business
, it's work.
So I want you to feel likeYou're comfortable in this chair
.
I got my hands on you For atleast an hour.

Speaker 2 (28:47):
But maybe you just explained it, you're just more.
It's the people.

Speaker 1 (28:50):
That you know.
You know how I was explaining.
Like I don't necessarily wantto talk to people.
You know what I'm saying and Ithink it's like that with all of
us.
When we by ourselves, when wetogether, it's cool.
You know what I'm saying, wecomfortable.
We know that somebody got ourback.
When we out there by ourselves,we like all right, cool, I got

(29:12):
to be on my P's and Q's, so ouraura is not welcoming.
It's like do not fuck with meright now because you just might
get hurt.
Stay away, please.
Like I'm not.
They can see, they can sensethat it's naturally defensive.

Speaker 3 (29:33):
Like look if the world worked off like colors.
It's random and you saw me inpublic.
You see a bar over my head itprobably be yellow, like because
you don't know which.
You're gonna get red.
Gonna be a nigga.
You don't wanna mess with green.
Gonna be try yellow, I don'tknow.

Speaker 1 (29:53):
Mine would be orange.
Yeah, because it'll be on theverge of yellow and red.

Speaker 2 (30:00):
Mine would be green until it's too late.
All of a sudden it's red, likewait, wait, hold on.
I thought this was green.
That's going to be my light Alot of you think this is green
yeah.

Speaker 3 (30:13):
A lot of people you would.

Speaker 1 (30:13):
A lot of you think it's green.
Yeah, A lot of people.
You will see a lot of greens,bro.

Speaker 2 (30:17):
Yeah, I mean, but but that'll be hilarious bro I feel
like that's good, though Ithink that's the problem.

Speaker 3 (30:22):
We raising green kids .

Speaker 2 (30:23):
Yes.

Speaker 1 (30:24):
That's what.

Speaker 2 (30:24):
I'm saying Like you think about it.

Speaker 3 (30:26):
You know that that's better.

Speaker 1 (30:35):
We just don't operate that.

Speaker 2 (30:35):
My ass is white.
That's oblivious.
That's got to occur in theworld, bro.
That's the thing.

Speaker 3 (30:39):
Why not raise your kids to have that type of
freedom in their mind, wherethey ain't got to do that type
of stuff?

Speaker 1 (30:44):

Speaker 3 (30:46):
They ain't walking around with their head on a
swivel Right, or you should beon your pivot and be ready to.
You know, I'm saying maneuverif something come, but you
shouldn't be nervous.
Well, not not even nervous,just so alert all the time.

Speaker 1 (31:01):
And that's how I feel bro and I think I think I'm
gonna teach my kids that whenthey had a like first fight or
something like that, like whatto watch out for and stuff like
that, you know.
But until then I don't thinkit's necessary for them to know.
Like like be aware, it's a beaware of certain things, you
know.

Speaker 3 (31:19):
I'm saying like don't let nobody hit you, and you
know, I'm saying just be awarebut it's like, because you say
that, because you could beputting that fear in them early,
yeah, you just tell them watchout for this.
Like wow, be like wow.

Speaker 1 (31:32):
Be careful, you know what I'm saying.
Like nah, it's a time and aplace for that.

Speaker 2 (31:37):
But at the same time you grew up in a more traumatic
environment, so you had moreexpertise and exercise in those
things.
You know what I'm saying and,to your point, you're saying
that you benefit from that.
You know what I'm saying You'reable to protect your.
You know they, people can callon you if something go down,
blah, blah, blah.
But you saying you raising yourkids differently, do you feel
like that's gonna make thembetter or do you feel like you

(32:00):
are depriving them of those sameskills that you have?
Nah?

Speaker 1 (32:03):
because it's like, like unique said, you have that
parent that puts that in, youlike it's.
It's.
It wasn't like, say, forinstance, when he was saying
like dad told him he was the manof the house.
It didn't necessarily mean getup and go get my gun, it meant
it was a mindset.

(32:24):
It was like you, the man of thehouse.
So it's the same with with us.
So we say certain things, butthey see it, they see what, how
we move.
If they see that it's a, ifit's a bump in the night, they
see that if we gonna get up.
So those are the type of thingsthat they're gonna carry on

(32:46):
with them.
They're gonna like they.
We don't have to necessarilysay, hey, you do this, they're
gonna see that.
Oh well, my dad did this, sothis is what I'm gonna do.

Speaker 3 (32:54):
You know, like yeah, I'll be saying I'll show you
better knock it.

Speaker 1 (33:00):
Yeah, for sure, like I ain't gonna tell him I tell my
daughter all the time like, hey, ain't no monsters in here, you
know I'm here, you know whatI'm saying, like if something
was to happen.
So if she comes and be like, oh, I hear something, she know I'm
finna, what is it?
What's going's going on?

Speaker 2 (33:13):
You know what I'm saying, so you feel like that's
teaching her to do the samething.

Speaker 1 (33:16):
Yeah, Like if she hears something, like when she
grows up and she's able to haveher own things and stuff, like
that, she'll hear things and belike, okay, what's going on?
Instead of being like, oh myGod, oh my God, what's going on?
Ah, like you know, I'm sayinglike that ain't, that ain't how
she gonna be, she ain't gonna beafraid to go and check.

(33:37):
You know, I'm saying she'll beequipped to know what's going on
, but I'm also planning onteaching my kids that too, when
they get of age, like, hey, thisis what you should do if, if
this blah, blah, blah, but now,no, that's not for them to know.

Speaker 3 (33:54):
That's not for them At this young age.

Speaker 1 (33:56):
Yes, they can see me how I do it and I'm pretty sure
it's going to come up later inlife to where they're like well,
why did you do this?
It's the same thing.
When I told you, I was like,yeah, I got locked up.
And she finally was like youwent to jail.

Speaker 3 (34:16):
Yeah, I was in jail.
You're able to comprehend whatthis stuff really means.
Like damn, you went to thatplace, yeah.
So, yeah, I'm interested in howthat conversation going to go
when my son starts asking thosetype of questions.
But we got to be able to beable to tell him those lessons.
So, you know, be able to havethat knowledge and wisdom.

(34:37):
You know what I'm saying Togive to them.

Speaker 1 (34:39):
And now she, she, uh, she saw 60 days in you know
what I'm saying Like she'd bewatching them kind of type of
show.
She'd be sitting there, itain't you?

Speaker 2 (34:50):
know they she's older .

Speaker 1 (34:56):
She's like wow, there's jail.
Like they showing it.
Now I'm glad they are, becausepeople like my kids that see
that now they're like oh, Idon't want to go to jail.
Like it ain't something fun.
Did you used to ever?

Speaker 3 (35:11):
have a fear and this having fun.
Did you used to ever have afear?
And this can go for you or doyou, uh, have a fear of, like
man, I don't want to spoil mykids, I don't want to show them
too much, and what does thatmean?

Speaker 2 (35:27):
saying that, you know , I'm saying I definitely have
that mindset because Iunderstand we talk about balance
and stuff, right.
But I also want to make sure Iinstill value.
I don't want to just buy thingsfor the sake of buying things.
I want to make sure thatthere's lessons involved in

(35:47):
things, not saying they have tonecessarily earn everything, but
I do want to make sure thatthere's a value system in place
so they understand that, likewhen you do certain things, you
get rewarded.
You may get like a piece ofcandy every once in a while, you
may get snacks and things likethat, but you get this special
snack when you do x, y and z.
So like they'll already haveeverything that they need, you

(36:10):
know in most situations, butthen they'll be able able to get
reward systems on top of thosethings.

Speaker 1 (36:15):
And that's what I want to make sure I do.
You know that meme with the catwith the googly eyes it's like
a cat Puss in Boots.
Yeah, it's like a cat lookingat her oh yeah, once you see
your kid, all that shit thatyou're talking is out the window
.

Speaker 2 (36:32):
That's cool.
I'm prepared for that.

Speaker 3 (36:35):
I'm saying right now I'm squaring up for that value
system because of what I don'twant, what I don't want, and
that's cool, bro.

Speaker 1 (36:46):
I'm going to cry myself to sleep, and that's okay
, I just want to make sure Iposition myself.
So what do you mean by thevalue system?
Because there's certain thingsthat like all right.
So when you got two parents,bro, your wife is going to do

(37:09):
things and say things thatyou're going to be like dang,
she can't have it Because youlike candy.
So your daughter is probablygoing to naturally like candy,
right?
So I don't know if your wifenaturally like candy or sweets,
so that might keep her away fromthem.

(37:30):
Not your daughter, but yourwife is going to be like no, she
can't have these certain things.
But you're be like you knowwhat I'm saying like why can't
she so like?
You'll naturally kind of likesneak it to her type of like
here, baby, you know what?

Speaker 2 (37:43):
I'm saying so it's.

Speaker 1 (37:44):
It's certain things like that because you gonna.
So I'm just saying like it's avalue thing.
But for me, like I'm just moreof the disciplinary, because I
know that they listen to me, allthe core things, we know, we
got that together.
You know what I'm saying, allthe values and stuff like that.
But it's certain little stuffthat I kind of like go outside

(38:05):
the lines because they're mybabies.
Them, the girls.

Speaker 3 (38:09):
You feel me Real quick question then you feel me
like what is real quick questionthen what do you um think of
when you hear the roles kind offlip, when it's a woman who's
more disciplinary in thehousehold?

Speaker 2 (38:21):
um, I think that that , unless it works for that
relationship, like it's justsomething that she naturally
assumes and prefers, I thinkthat it puts an unnatural strain
on the woman.
That's just me personally.
I think that women's naturalrole is just to be more caring.
They just tend to be better atshowing love and giving love in

(38:44):
a tangible way.
So I think that when theyassume the role of the
disciplinarian, it conflictswith how they naturally how they
naturally are.
But if she just had like she maybe military or she just grew up
in a home where the mom wasthey from a certain city I think
that if they fall into that,cool, but they shouldn't have to

(39:06):
assume that role, in my opinionyeah, because I was talking, I
just that it came up.

Speaker 3 (39:11):
So I was thrown off when Iheard.
I was like what?
But I kind of understand itBecause the person you know what
I'm saying Easy going.

Speaker 1 (39:22):
Chill.

Speaker 3 (39:22):
So the wife you know what I'm saying.
Her personality is more Rah rah, you know more loud.
So he kind of sit back and kindof you know what I'm saying
Come in and pitch in when heneeds to.
And that's the balance that wetalking about.
We've got to have balance.

Speaker 2 (39:39):
I think that that works, like for people who bring
in kids, like when you haveyour kids, like outside of that
relationship, and you bring inyour kids.
I think that that default works.
When you share a child withsomebody, I think it's a little
bit different because,regardless of who side it falls
on, there needs to be a powerdynamic.
There needs to be I do this,you do this right.
It don't have to be like genderroles, specific.

(40:02):
It just needs to be anunderstanding.
Like when this happens, yougive whoopings, I give talks
like this.
This is how the relationshipgoes and it doesn't again have
to be split that way, justwhatever works for that specific
union yeah, because I like allright.

Speaker 1 (40:17):
So in my household the person that does the duty is
the person who doesn't likedoing a something else.
So my wife doesn't like washingclothes or folding them.
So guess what I do?
I wash the clothes or fold themand fold them.
But I don't do the dishes thatmuch.
I do them if it's totallynecessary.

(40:38):
If she just don't, if she, youknow, I pick up more of the
slack when my wife just doesn'tfeel like doing something and I
get it.
You do a lot of stuff aroundthe house, you, you prepare
things for them, you, you getthem ready.
So I don't mind pitching in.
But that's the, that's the rolethat that I'll be trying to
tell certain men like bro, likewhy don't you just pick up?

(41:00):
You know I'm saying pick up theslack.
You know I'm saying where youknow it's necessary, if it's not
clean around the house, bro,why you ain't?

Speaker 3 (41:06):
clean, because some dudes just feel like that's just
beneath them, like that's justnot my lane at all and then I
crazy that shouldn't be nothingI need to worry about.

Speaker 2 (41:16):
It's that red pill talk I'm talking about.
That's what I'm saying they feellike people are supposed to be
in certain gender roles, right,so that's what we talk about.
When it's like earningconditional love.
They feel like men are supposedto be the breadwinners.
Right when they positionthemselves as such.
That's why they tell you youdon't focus on women, you need

(41:40):
to go to school, you need to dothis right.
Push-ups.
They feel like you're supposedto reach a certain height as a
man first, right before youqualify.
It's a qualification before youqualify to enter the realm of
getting women right, becausethen, when you do so, you have
better pickings.
And da, da, da, da da.
I think that that's a dangerousmentality right.

Speaker 1 (41:52):
Yeah, because them, the dudes who be having four and
five wives also, I mean Becausethey, you know.
So that to me is absolutelywrong, because you need that
person that's going to sit thereand support you on your way up.
That way y'all can do thistogether.
And when you hit that successmark mark, they've been there

(42:14):
since the beginning.
Yeah, you know I'm saying so,they gonna grow with you.
Like that's why I don't agreewith getting to a getting up
there, because when you get upthere in success, you got a
different mindset, bro.
You got like I'm this, you know, you real cocky bro.
Yeah, you know, I'm saying so.
Women you probably startmistreating women.

(42:36):
You know, I'm saying like whenyou you already reached this
success level, we touched on itbecause it's out of revenge,
it's out of hurt you know, you.

Speaker 2 (42:42):
You feel like you had a place where people hurt you
or they told you you wasn't goodexactly this whole time, so now
that you are good enough, yougonna shove it in their faces,
or that someone told you yougotta reach this success level.

Speaker 1 (42:53):
Yeah, exactly, to beat your confidence up to where
you're like no, no, I can'teven talk to her.
I gotta get this money.
Nah, bro, you supposed to goshoot your shot.
Bro.

Speaker 3 (43:03):
I guess what people be saying.
The phrase people who aresuccessful are assholes.

Speaker 2 (43:09):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (43:12):
Think about it, they got money and they ain't got
nobody.
Mean a lot of them are yeah,because I mean, think about it,
they got money and they ain'tgot nobody.

Speaker 2 (43:17):
I think a lot of like super successful people are
like when you think aboutbillionaires and like people who
are like the one percenters.
Yeah, absolutely.
I think that people who justare successful in general I
think there's a lot of goodpeople who are just successful
in general yeah, for sure.

Speaker 3 (43:40):
Because they have a certain level of selfishness
about them.
Yeah, so let's say it's likeskip bayless yeah he has
verbally said like my careercomes first over my wife, yeah
like and she knows that.
Yeah, so he's gotten to acertain point where he was like
almost the top.
He was the top, you know, I'msaying at his point before that
boy steven, they took his spot.
Um, so he, you think he gotsome unconditional love.
Check this out.

Speaker 1 (43:58):
No, his wife knows that.
But but see, we don't know whatgoes on in the rich, you know
what I'm saying because a lot ofwomen feel like that's
necessary.

Speaker 2 (44:12):
They watch their dads do that.
That's how their moms was.
They feel like that's necessary.
They watch their dads do that.
That's how their moms was.
They feel like that's the idealthing to do.
Find you a dude who's going tosecure your future, secure your
kid's future.
Them like the only boxes theycheck, they don't trip off.
Does he talk to me, nice?
Does he focus on me?
Does he put me first, like Ifeel like that's more of an
American woman mindset.
I think that even if you golike overseas, a lot of those

(44:33):
guys tend to focus on self andsuccess first, because they know
women gonna come.
They already know that that's apart of the process.
Right, because I was watchingthis show and it was like a
nigerian dude.
He was like no, this is, oh,this is part of the process.
Like my parents encouragedmarriage, like that's a
necessary part of my heritage,like how I live my life, yeah,
like marriage is just a part oflife.

(44:54):
It's not a thing that webecause like here, we like oh,
if I, if I get like you knowwhat I'm saying yeah, it's an
option for them, it's anobligation exactly, exactly.
So the way that they approach it, the mindset behind is
different.
That's why I like what you saidearlier.
When we talk about even kids orlove or anything, it's about
mindset.
It's about, like, how we thinkand feel about the situation,
how we go into it.

(45:15):
That's why I say, like, withunconditional love, we never
really explained it, but likethat love gonna look different,
like unconditional love for you,for you, for me, it's all gonna
look different.
In the, in the context of Imight need words, affirmation,
right, talk about the lovelanguages where you might need
acts of service, where you mightneed physical touch.
You need some people to likehug you or or like hold you

(45:35):
close, to feel like, oh, that'swho loves me.
Versus I may need somebody tospeak life into me.
Then I'm like, okay, thatperson pays attention to me.

Speaker 1 (45:44):
like, yeah, different situations you have to be a
person that doesn't have anybody, to just not have any type of
unconditional love.
There is that I mean, there arepeople out there, yeah there
are definitely people out there,but there's that one person
that love you unconditionally,whether they, whether they like

(46:04):
the dog, for sure, but like youain't.
Hey, if you got a my buddy,what?
but that's why chris walk saidwhat he said yeah, yeah,
absolutely but okay, becausethat's what I'm saying, because,
no matter what you're gonna,even as a young dude, bro, like
think about your friend group.

Speaker 2 (46:22):
Right, we all have talked about this, whether it
was gang culture or it was justlike the clique that you run
with, even to play basketball.
Bro, you gotta prove yourself.
Like you gotta be in a positionlike cats, don't give you
nothing for free.
Nah, you know what I'm saying.
Like you got to be in aposition to either prove your
skill, prove your worth.
Like you know what I'm saying.
That's how we treat each other,we.
You got to qualify to get tothis next thing.

(46:42):
You don't just walk up on here,absolutely you know what I'm
saying, so it's like it's adifferent situation.
I think that's a mentality thatwe learn from a young age, yeah,
and even with our parents, likethey've just learned.
It's something we repeat timeand time again from way back
when, right.

Speaker 1 (46:57):
Mm-hmm, that's taught like generations on generations
, Like that's taught way back inthe day.
But I mean, I've neverexperienced that, though I've
never experienced not havingsomebody that love me, bro, Like
.

Speaker 3 (47:13):
I don't.
You probably never.
Well, you never experienced it.
But let me say this have youhad a period of time In your
life when you talk to yourselfLike man, I ain't got nobody
love me, no, like I honestlyhave?
That I definitely have, it'sthe mental stuff, you know what
I'm saying Like.
Yeah, you get into a spot whenyou in a bad place and it was

(47:38):
just being by yourself, bro.

Speaker 1 (47:39):
Yeah, you know.

Speaker 3 (47:40):
Yeah, you ain't got nobody Shit, it feel different.
It feel way different.

Speaker 2 (47:46):
I can understand that , bro.
That's a dark place.
You know what I'm saying whenyou start, you feel it Like you
said.
You feel it around you.
You understand people ain'twithin reach.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, you feel like amotherfucker ain't going to
understand Situations and shitlike that.
It's a hard situation to be in,bro, especially as a man.
I think that's difficult.

Speaker 3 (48:06):
Like I said, you just snap out of it because you
realize you know what I'm saying.

Speaker 2 (48:10):
That's when you got to identify your why?

Speaker 3 (48:11):
Yeah, absolutely, Absolutely.
That's why I got out of thatpoint.
I got to the dark spacementally and then identified my
why.

Speaker 1 (48:29):
Clicked out of it.
You know what I'm saying andsee, I never went that deep like
in a, in a situation where Iwas locked up.
You know I'm saying, and whenyou call on people that you
think can are are there for youand they not I mean, but I never
went to that where, oh, theydon't love me, like I didn't
rely on them anymore.
That just made it like all right, cool, I know what it is, you
know what I'm saying, but Istill got to go through this

(48:52):
journey myself.
It's cool.
It's like you know, like thempeople ain't there for you, but
like those people that reach out, that always pick up the phone
when you call, those were thethings that I hold on to you
feel me like I was like allright, my mom always pick up the
phone when I call, no matterwhat, no matter what, wherever
she is.

Speaker 2 (49:12):
I was gonna ask you if you mind it, like like all
y'all, like well, both of y'allI said all y'all, like it's
multiple, more than just a fewof us in here, but would you
mind naming those people thatyou feel like gave you that
unconditional love?
That you needed to pull you outAt least the main ones, right,
because there may have been likea flurry of people, but like
the people that you feel likereally pulled you out of where

(49:34):
you was at.

Speaker 1 (49:35):
So one, my mom, yeah, yeah, two would be my friend
that I was telling you aboutthat.
I was like it ain't necessarilyunconditional love, but bro
would pick up the phone everytime I called, but like no
matter what if he needed to putsome money on the phone or

(49:56):
anything like he.
He did that.
My grandmother, when she wasalive, you know, my cousin Roger
, he picked up any time.
You know it was also peoplearound those people when I, when
I called, so my, for my partner, it was all the people that
that I always kicked it with mysister, my brothers, like I told

(50:21):
you, I like I was in jail onetime.
I had to tell them the wholething, you know what I'm saying,
told them the whole spiel, butI really couldn't talk to them
because my dad was one thatdidn't answer the phone every
time I called.
And Tiny Mo, tiny Mo, I couldn'treally call Mason, because
Mason wasn't, he wasn't around,and my cousin Marlon, I, he

(50:47):
wasn't around and my cousinMarlon.
I can never, I can never leavehim out, because on my journey
down here to Texas I wasn'tnecessarily locked up or
anything, but I was alone.
My wife was gone, my kids wasgone, my mom's was gone and he
allowed me in.
Like he took me in.
You know I'm saying Allowed meto stay in his room in the
basement and everything, gave mea key, like, hey, I love him
for that and I never like he wasalso the person that swung at

(51:12):
me.
If y'all remember that episode,he was the person that cocked
back and swung at me with that.

Speaker 2 (51:19):
But sometimes I'm people necessary.
That's my dog.

Speaker 1 (51:20):
I love you but those are the people man like, those
are the core people that thatheld me down.
You know what I'm saying,regardless of how our
relationship is now.

Speaker 2 (51:33):
I feel like you got a good balance, though, bro, like
when I listen to the peoplethat you was naming.
You got a good balance betweenlike friends and family like.
I think that that's that'sdefinitely necessary.

Speaker 1 (51:43):
Yeah because it's always been there.
Yeah, that's the thing.
When you sit back and thinkabout who those people are and I
I kind of went off the cuffwith that, but you know what I'm
saying.
Like I didn't, I didn't have nopeople written down or nothing
like that.
You know what I'm saying, butthat's that's thing, and I
didn't expect you to name thosepeople either.

Speaker 2 (52:03):
That's why I think that that's my thing Like,
because even for somebody likeme, like when I think back on my
life, the narrative has alwaysbeen like I got a lot of this by
myself, like you know what.
I'm saying Like I wouldn't got alot of this by myself, but
there's been people at pivotalpoints in my life to make,
excuse me, make a difference.
Right, yeah, and I'm yawning,not crying, um so, but like,

(52:27):
because I said like I had alittle, had a little breath, but
what I wanted to what I wantedto say.
You said my two look at whichis, which is love.
Yours, yours is authentic, yeah, but like for me, I've had like
, especially friends, right likemy family, has always look,
look, look.

Speaker 1 (52:41):
Which is love?
Yours is authentic.

Speaker 2 (52:42):
But I just wanted to make sure, yeah, but like for me
, I've had, like especiallyfriends, right, like my family
has always been small and itain't that we not there for each
other, but the love that wehave has always been kind of
like a different definition thanwhat most families kind of have
.
You know what I'm saying, likethe way that we love each other.
But it's always been there.
Like you said, people havealways been there.
But, like for me, I definitelyhave had, I've been blessed

(53:05):
enough to have like a dopefriend group or at least pivotal
people who step into my life attimes where, like, I absolutely
need them.
You know what?
I'm saying so um, like if I hada name drop dog we might be here
all night.
But if I had like, but like keypeople for me like.
Shout out to my boy Chad, restin peace.
Shout out to my boy Matt.

(53:25):
Shout out to my boy um Lil, uh.
Shout out to my boy Keith.
Um, like, shout out, thosepeople definitely like,
especially like during my timein St Louis.
Like like cat was by my, I wasby myself a lot, you know what
I'm saying.
Like I happened to.
I was one of them cats whodidn't have like A core circle.
Like I always had people whoagain Stepped in at key Pivotal

(53:47):
times, but that's also Cause Iwas always One of them niggas
who just like Was tucked off bymyself.
Like I'll never forget.
I told my, I told my cousin Onetime.
Shout out to my boy Jerm.
My cousin like, oh yeah, duringthis year I was like homeless,
I was trying to do this.
He's like nigga, what?
Why didn't you tell me, nigga,you could have come stay with me
?
And like he got like upset withme.
Bro, like dude was like mad andI ain't tripping for it, but I

(54:08):
was like again, I was just oneof those people who, like I,
suffer by myself, like I sufferin silence before, and like
people I have to, like, show upyeah, you know, after they had
to beat her, at the right timeto understand like oh yeah, I
did need some help well, youknow what I'm saying?

Speaker 1 (54:20):
you didn't, you didn't really know who loved you
unconditionally but that andthat was my.

Speaker 2 (54:25):
So because of how I grew up in my, like my core
family structure, because thatthat version of love was
different.
Yeah, you didn't, I didn'trecognize it when it came
through other people.
So that's.
I just thank you for bringingthat around, because that's the
point I wanted to make, becausefor me, I my friend showed
showed a different version oflove because of the positions

(54:45):
that they were in, right, and Iwasn't done with my list because
, uh, yeah, we, like I saidwe'll be here all night, but but
and then, like because for me,like we we've talked about it
before on a podcast right, like2018 was a pivotal moment in my
life.
That like where I had to reset.
Right, like I had to like kindof restart from scratch and and

(55:05):
deal with a lot of stuff, butlike people like unique was
there for me, like even fromfrom outside the state.
Like I remember I remember thebird was homeless.
Like you know what I'm sayinglike bro was trying to trying to
make it and I remember I wassaving up some bread to uh, in
fact, I think I was sleeping onmy little sister couch and I was
saving up some bread to try to,um, get me my own spot, bro,

(55:27):
and bro spot me like 300, someon my deposit so I could like
hurry up and go get my own spot.
So it's like people like that.
That again, didn't have to belike right next to me, you know
what I'm saying, didn't have tobe like necessarily going
through the same situation as me, but was there at a pivotal
moment in my life that was ableto like here's this.
You know what?
I'm saying this for me is just atoken to make sure that you

(55:49):
good, you know what I mean andthat those type of people are
like why I'm successful today.
You know what I'm saying, notto mention for like two, two and
a half years.
You know I'm saying so like, Ithink that those, those are the
things that we have to realizetoo.
Like again, like for me, Irecognize in friendships, like,
how different it is, because now, as an adult, I realize, oh,

(56:11):
these people did love me in thatway, but I didn't realize it
because my family taught me adifferent version of love, so I
had to, like, separate myselffrom a version.
I'm still separating from it Incertain situations, right, yeah
, and not in a way where I'm notloving them, just the, the,
like, the definition of whatthat love is and building on it,
now Understanding that itneeded more, it had holes in it.

Speaker 1 (56:32):
Yeah, like.

Speaker 2 (56:34):
And growing from there.
Cause not bashing it.
My family loved me the way thatthey could.
You know what I'm saying justunderstand that I had to.
I had it to get more, todevelop more.
You know what?

Speaker 3 (56:42):
I'm saying the way that you perceived it.

Speaker 2 (56:45):
Ask me that question again, bro so people who, uh,
you feel like were pivotal, likein, or you feel like gave you
that unconditional love that youneeded to be able to do what
you needed to do or becomesuccessful.

Speaker 1 (57:00):
I'm going to spend that.
Okay, because of where you wereand you were alone.
Who were those people that youthought about and called on and
picked up every time you called?

Speaker 2 (57:15):
That's probably a short list, yeah.

Speaker 3 (57:18):
Shanties.
Shout out to Shanties.
Yeah, shout out.
Shout out to Shanties.
Yep, shout out, shout out toShanties because and that's the
only I say, female friend, I had.
You know what I'm saying, thatyou could like call her on yeah,
and she.
She was able to give me a earand understand what I was going
through with some other stuff.

(57:39):
So shout out to her with that.
And, of course, my moms and mypops.
I reached out to my sister, butI ain't want her to worry too
much.
Yeah, you know, I talked to youknow aunt and stuff like that,
but, like I said, I ain't puty'all in the mix.
Yeah, yeah, it was on purpose.

(58:03):
So Certain things.
Yeah, I kept a lot of that in,so and it ain't healthy.
So To this day, niggas stillscore from that shit.
That out bro, but that was mytrench.
Yeah, man, we had the trophies,though Still getting yeah.

Speaker 1 (58:22):
We gonna get more.
Nah, that shit occurredstraight up, like I said.
Yeah, man, we had the trophiesthough.
Yeah, yeah, we gonna get more.

Speaker 3 (58:25):
Nah that's your curse , straight up.
Like I said, that's the list isshort.
You know what I'm saying, cause, uh, I know I got that love but
, like you said, there's certainpockets In your life and
seasons where People show up.
Everybody gonna know the loveyou know what.
I'm saying so they gonna feelit Because I'm going to show up.

Speaker 2 (58:43):
That's the shit that's like.
I think that people have torealize.
That's the power that we havetoo.
That's what the importance ofshowing up for motherfuckers
right Understanding.
There's people in your life who, just there, you know what I'm
saying and sometimes you do needto test it.
You do need to call on them inyour darkest time so you

(59:07):
understand, like, who they'refor fun and who they're for.

Speaker 1 (59:08):
You know, for everything, who they're to ride
with you and who they're justwhen you at the top you know,
regardless of what what theysaying, you know what I'm saying
.
Like for me, I got you got alot of people that that say
stuff and it make you upset, butI still show up for them.
So but that's the good thingabout us, because if you ain't

(59:29):
cut me too deep like like brosaid in the first couple of
episodes, if you ain't cut metoo deep, I can still.
I might you know what I'msaying.
I might, might get healed.

Speaker 2 (59:38):
I might get healed.

Speaker 1 (59:39):
You know what I'm saying to go back, but don't cut
me to the point where I'm likebruh you know what I'm saying.

Speaker 2 (59:44):
So in my opinion, I feel like when we're talking
about unconditional love there'swe gotta be okay with people
falling into separate categories.
I think we grow up with anexpectation that everybody in my
family get unconditional love.
Everybody, everybody in myfamily, get unconditional love.
Everybody, everybody that's myblood, get unconditional love,
like that's the expectation Inour culture.
Well, that ain't necessarilythe case.

Speaker 3 (01:00:06):

Speaker 2 (01:00:07):
Friends we've had.

Speaker 3 (01:00:07):
Since we were two years old.
It's like categories Associatedwith.

Speaker 2 (01:00:10):
Yeah, it's, you gotta be okay, letting them
motherfucking know.
Hey, you end up in theconditional category.
There are certain things thatme and you are cool with.
This it, this is what ourrelationship is, but if you do
this, we're not cool, no more.
I think the problem is we wantto love everybody
unconditionally and we thinkeverybody love us
unconditionally, but when youmess up, when you lie, when you

(01:00:31):
get caught stealing or you knowwhat I'm saying you do something
crazy.
People got the right to put youin a separate category and say
I only rock with you on thislevel now and them people, them
people in the back they be like.

Speaker 3 (01:00:40):
I always knew he yeah .

Speaker 1 (01:00:43):
But I always had a saying, though Like that I
always tell like Cause, tiny Mo,that ain't necessarily my
friend, that's family, you knowwhat I'm saying.
Yeah, but I always saidEverybody that's family Ain't
necessarily blood.
Like your bloodline Can havesome people in it that you don't
necessarily Consider family.
Like y'all cool, but bro, weain't.

(01:01:05):
Like one of my cousins, like Itold y'all but like I
disassociated Myself with him,like you, you ain't family to me
, no more.
Like period, bro, like it's awrap with you.
We blood, but you ain't familyto me, bro.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:01:20):
So I think it's a difference for me.
We can be bound by blood, butwe ain't bound by love.

Speaker 1 (01:01:26):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:01:26):
Yeah, like we ain't got that type of bond.
Yeah, we, we got the same blood, you know similar, but we ain't
, we ain't bonding off that.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:01:35):
You can identify me through ancestry, but we ain't
family, bro.
I think that's what I hate.
I want to, and I want to getback to that when we when we're
talking about like unconditionallove, I think that we used to
harbor that at things likefamily reunions and like get
togethers right even just goingover grandma house or all the
cousins getting together havinglike a sleepover somewhere.

(01:01:56):
I think that that provides likea opportunity for all the kids
to be in one place.
People are everybody.
Parents be around.
Everybody's showing love toeach other.
Like even even when we was aunique group and we was playing
games, it's multiple generationsof people in the room, like
stuff like that.
I think that that's what we needto make sure that people

(01:02:18):
understand what unconditionallove really look like, instead
of us having to go outside ourfamily.
But I also feel like with that,with that explanation, right,
black people are not a monolith.
Like we don't have to all bethe same type of person to be
around each other.
We supposed to want the nerdsto come around.
You're supposed to want theweirdos to come around, so they
stop being weird.
You know what I'm saying, likethat's the point, bro, stop

(01:02:39):
being weird, you know what I'msaying.
Like that's the point, bro.

Speaker 3 (01:02:41):
Like we all, supposed to come together and be
together.
It's just going to be toneddown.

Speaker 2 (01:02:45):
Hey, well, we won.
Then it's a couple hours wherethey a little less weird Look
we're going to identify this him.

Speaker 3 (01:02:52):
Yeah, or that's her.

Speaker 1 (01:03:02):
At least everybody know.
Now, though, bro, because them,the people that actually need
us in their life, because theydon't be protecting theyself,
they be letting people beat upon them, and we, we, the type of
people like unique bro, likehow do you deal with these
situations?
Like like mate, how you yeah, Ikeep getting pushed around.
Like how do you you know, I'msaying like that because I done
had little cousins like bro.
Like how you do that, like youknow what I'm saying, like that,
cause I done had little cousinslike bro.

(01:03:23):
Like how you do that, like youknow what I'm saying, like how
you be walking like that, likeyou got, like I done been asked
that before.
Like I got confidence.
Like why, how you walk likethat.

Speaker 3 (01:03:36):
Hey, man just turns 33.
It killed me like it's likedamn.
These things are really lookingup to me.
Yeah, like damn, you know whatI'm saying and I, you gotta, you
know what I'm saying, feed intothem, especially with my, with
my occupation now.
So I feel like that'sdefinitely something I'm kind of
obligated to do.

Speaker 1 (01:03:56):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:03:57):
You.
You know what I'm saying, it'sspeaking to them and why I got
that time to.

Speaker 1 (01:04:02):
I rock with that.
You real kind for that, bro.
I want you to really pick andchoose who you get advice to
yeah cause like today made mekind of realize, bro, like
everybody don't deserve thatadvice from us.
Bro, for real, like if you wantthat advice they need to tune
into the podcast.

(01:04:22):
I say as much access becauseyou can, yeah obviously you can
get advice.

Speaker 2 (01:04:26):
It's just access to you.
Like it's that to be that closeto you because some people
ain't moving right, so youallowing certain spirits or or
people to have access to you.
Oh yeah, you can come throughthe back.
Now, all of a sudden it's a fewniggas coming through the back.
Like just understanding thatpeople ain't always got your
best interest at heart.
But I think I think all of usneed to understand that.
Right, because I feel like wehave superpowers, because you go

(01:04:48):
through life and you understandlike, all right, this is what
love is you.
You start learning whatself-worth is, and I think that
has to do a lot with what chrisrock said.
Right, to bring things back tothe original point, yeah, what
he had going was like I think hewas getting divorced or
something, like some stuff wasgoing on in his life.
I don't I can't even rememberif this was.
I think this was post, post theslap.
I think this was after he gotslapped.

(01:05:14):
So it's like are you hurt?
That's why you feel like thatis your specific situation,
where that's true.
I'm not saying it's dishonest.
I'm not saying his situationdoesn't qualify as that.

Speaker 1 (01:05:24):
Right, but anybody else?

Speaker 2 (01:05:26):
But it's not general, because the way that he laid it
out was a blanket Right.
It was like only women.
He didn't say in my life orI've experienced that.
He just said in general, thisis what it is Right.
And then then of course, got alot of claps and amens and stuff
for all of that stuff.

Speaker 1 (01:05:42):
So, all right, so this could be for another time,
but I know some women that arenot unconditional, uh, that are
conditionally loved.
Oh, I feel like most women are.
I feel like I feel like theyhave to bring something to the
table as well exactly thinkabout it.

Speaker 2 (01:05:57):
That's the, that's been the, the phrase of the last
.
What four, five years?

Speaker 3 (01:06:00):
What do?

Speaker 2 (01:06:00):
you bring to the table.

Speaker 1 (01:06:03):
So that make his point kind of not that make his
point not valid.
Absolutely Like there's womenand dogs that are not Right
Because people let dogs Exactly.

Speaker 2 (01:06:15):
Bro, I saw a thing today and the lady was in the
airport.
Apparently, they told her shecouldn't fly with her dog
because she didn't have theright paperwork.
Yeah, she went to the bathroomand drowned the dog.

Speaker 1 (01:06:26):
What.

Speaker 3 (01:06:27):
That's federal too, because you did it in the
airport.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:06:30):
She's out on a $5,000 bond, 5K yeah okay, that's
crazy, but that's okay becauseyou can bond out.
And still, I mean absolutely.

Speaker 2 (01:06:38):
Absolutely.
It's just crazy Cause they it'slike bro.

Speaker 1 (01:06:41):
What, and the reason why they probably let her out Is
because it's a dog.
It's not, you know what I'msaying A human being so.

Speaker 2 (01:06:47):
That's crazy.
She's going down, that'sunfortunate.
Yeah, that's real unfortunate,but just to say, like you said,
to unfortunately make your pointthere are dogs who are not
unconditionally loved.
You know what what I'm saying?
So to make his, his point evenmore invalid for those, for
those who are rocking with usand still listening at this
point in the podcast, right?

Speaker 3 (01:07:05):
it's because that boy lost his condition a little bit
, he got slapped.

Speaker 2 (01:07:08):
Look where a lot of people fell away like oh, she,
she was like nah, I'm straightespecially in the black
community.
You gotta think about it too.
Like people lose respect foryou, you ain't react, you ain't
do nothing you didn't turnaround.

Speaker 1 (01:07:21):
You ain't like.
Rock was the person who wasstanding up the most.

Speaker 2 (01:07:24):
He was talking about him more than chris was and that
was the but I think that againgoing okay.
Going back to the other segment, masculine versus feminine,
yeah, tony rock maybe have beenmore of the masculine brother in
that relationship, in thatdynamic right, while chris was
more feminine not saying he's aneffeminate man, but he he had
more feminine traits where hemaybe let Tony do more of the
fighting.

Speaker 3 (01:07:45):
Yeah, we can talk about that on the next episode.

Speaker 2 (01:07:49):
I feel like for those who are still listening, I
think a good point that we madeis that brotherhood is
essentially where you can fallaway and whether you're not
getting it at home or in asituation where you find you a
good group of brothers who canhelp you process the things
right, who can help you alongyour path or kind of be brothers
in arms in your trenches, thenyou learn who can rock with you

(01:08:09):
at the top when you're dealingwith your trophies.
This has been another episodeof the Trenches to Trophies
podcast.
Y'all got anything to saybefore we get up out of?

Speaker 3 (01:08:18):
here.
I don't think, like I said, youNeed to have that validation,
to have that Unconditional love,but at least Having A
brotherhood that can beTransformative.
So it's okay to open up youknow what I'm saying Even to

(01:08:38):
your partners.
Yeah, hell yeah If you don'tfeel like you can open up to a
woman, cause that's the thing,yeah, hell, yeah.
If you don't feel like you canopen up to a woman, cause that's
the thing, a lot of these dudesDon't feel like they can Trust
no woman and stuff like that.

Speaker 2 (01:08:46):
Alright man, open up to your brother, absolutely you
know what I'm saying.

Speaker 3 (01:08:48):
So.

Speaker 2 (01:08:49):
And find you a brother If you ain't got one.
Everybody out here, get you an,find you somebody.
Talk to a therapist.
Get y'all stuff together.
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