February 12, 2025 • 52 mins
This episode explores the nuances of forgiveness, focusing on the balance between forgiving others and ourselves. We share personal anecdotes about everyday conflicts, dissect the importance of communication in healing relationships, and encourage listeners to reflect on their paths to forgiveness, recognizing it as a gradual process that aids personal growth.
• Discussing personal stories of betrayal and forgiveness
• Navigating family dynamics and cultural expectations in forgiveness
• Understanding self-forgiveness as a key component in healing
• Highlighting the significance of setting boundaries
• Exploring the emotional labor involved in forgiving others
• Emphasizing that forgiveness is an ongoing journey, not a destination
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:05):
you know who it is?
It's mate corleone, you rockingwith trenches.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
The trophies podcast, tune in we live all right, so
don't mind all these giggling uh, negroids in the background.
Y'all welcome back to trenchesthe trophies.
We're so background.
Y'all.
Welcome back to Trenches, toTrophies.
We're so glad that y'alldecided to come and listen and
press play wherever you're at,on Apple Podcasts, spotify
(00:32):
Podcasts or some other randomwebsite Maybe Google Podcasts,
something like that.
Right, we appreciate y'alltuning in with us.
Today we're going to talk aboutsome really, really important
things and we're going to startwith forgiveness.
Right Now let's talk aboutwe're going to talk about a few
different things on today, y'all, but I want to start it off
(00:52):
light.
So, like y'all ever hadsomebody who like ate your food
at work and then like pissed youoff or some shit like that,
yeah.
Like I want you to think aboutit Because, bro, I feel like we
can get deep real easy.
Speaker 3 (01:02):
I feel like this nigga did a direct shot.
Speaker 2 (01:03):
Let's start with something light bro he did a
direct shot.
Hey look as a matter of fact,I'm going to start real light.
It ain't even just at.
It is so, and my boy?
So I got a particular brotherover here who has a son and we
used to live together.
Right, I remember this oneparticular night, bro, I had
stopped at the gas station andgot this 32-ounce slushie.
(01:25):
And it was amazing, bro, I hadit mixed the right way, had the
flavors the way I wanted, and mynephew had jumped up on, linked
up on the counter, grabbed mycup, bro, when I got back to it
I had all of three swallows leftin that thing.
Bro, I was hurt bro I was hurt,bro, because it was at a time
where, boy, it wasn't mobilelike that.
Speaker 1 (01:44):
Where was that?
Speaker 2 (01:45):
at?
No, I think it was, and it wasquick, bro.
It was like I think I wentoutside or something to do
something and you might havewent to the bathroom.
It was like a real quicksituation.
So, bro, probably was likewatching that mug, like as soon
(02:09):
as he put it in.
Yeah, crazy, because he's noteven the type to get into
nothing.
Yeah, and he wasn't the kind ofbaby he was there.
But I think it was a mix oflike admiration, right like you,
like that's drink that looklike it's fire.
You know what I'm saying.
But then it's also a sugarydrink.
He probably knew it was aslushy, you know what I'm saying
he probably seen all themcolors, all them flavors yeah,
yeah, he's like I'll get thatall the time, let me see what's
up.
But no, that was, that was aneasy piece to forgive.
I was hurt, though I was likecome on, nephew dog, like dang
my whole slushy cut like thewhole thing with me.
Speaker 3 (02:33):
I'm gonna keep it because y'all already know what
happened.
I'm gonna, so I ain't gonna dothe long end for this.
You know what I'm saying fortime.
But yes, somebody has drunk mystuff before.
It's just like the movieBarbershop.
I work in the shop and thisindividual drunk my juice.
It's like who drunk my applejuice.
He drunk my juice, bro, youknow what I'm saying.
(02:55):
So he paid me some money.
But it was just a principle,the respect thing, that you just
thought it was cool for you togo in there and drink my you
know what I'm saying juice andjust gonna give me some money
and thought it was just gonna besweet.
So we had a conversation, hehad, we had an understanding and
that was it, and I let it gonow how to understand.
It happened right hey, look likeI said you trying to get fresh,
(03:19):
yeah, fresh, yeah, hey look, Ijust said come outside, we gonna
chop it up.
And so he was hesitant To comeoutside At first, but he came
outside.
We talked, talked about it asmen, that was it.
Okay.
I broke it down to him In a waythat he could Be able to
understand, so that's how I gaveit to him, that's how I served.
Speaker 2 (03:38):
But get, bro.
It's kudos though, bro, causewe live in a time when a lot of
men Can't take that type ofconversation or that type of
confrontation.
You know what I'm saying.
So, right, he get richfollowers, cause a lot of cats
Would've got checked like thatand needed retribution.
You know what I meanImmediately.
Immediately Right, would'vebeen on some Some other stuff.
Speaker 3 (03:55):
Over some juice.
Speaker 2 (03:57):
Brut side down Over yo, juice Over, yeah, over
something that hey man, it thatthey do.
Speaker 3 (04:00):
Hey man, it was Calypso man.
It was Calypso and my blueberrylemonade.
One man and the Henny.
Speaker 2 (04:05):
Hook.
You know that's off limits.
Don't touch my.
Speaker 3 (04:07):
Calypso, they're in a mystic.
Speaker 2 (04:08):
Especially you, because you can't get that every
day.
Bro, that ain't no quick littledrink.
I can go get that ain't no,arizona TV.
Speaker 1 (04:19):
You ain't going, you get chopped in your throat for a
.
Speaker 3 (04:21):
Mystic bro, it's just mixes don't even taste the same
.
No more, Bro.
Nothing tastes the same, nomore.
Speaker 1 (04:27):
They watered down Bro .
Have y'all tasted a Sunny Dlately?
Speaker 2 (04:31):
Disgusting.
No, bro, I haven't, I ain'tgonna lie, I haven't.
Oh, my God, bro, I haveHawaiian Punch.
I have, though, whew, prettymuch the same.
Yeah, bro now.
Yeah, I mean, but I think it'sour taste buds, the regular
anyway, Like I feel like theflavor ones is alright, but like
the regular the trash.
I think it's our taste buds too.
Speaker 1 (04:49):
It's us, you know.
We grown, we've tasted bettershit and we rather go taste.
Oh, I said taste, we rather godrink that shit you Tampico
Nigga, but you can Now you cansee that it's Very cheap and
full of sugar.
Speaker 2 (05:08):
Yeah, you know what I'm saying, but it's bad, it's
bad for you and it's like it'snot good, bro.
They be trying to Package youdifferent.
Now, bro, I got a picture OnFacebook From like 12 years ago
With the Tampico juice Crazy Inthe mall, bro, randomly, it's
crazy so.
Speaker 3 (05:23):
I'm gonna tell you, has anybody Ate your stuff or
Drank your stuff In theworkplace or at the crib that
you valued?
Speaker 2 (05:32):
Right, that pissed you off.
Speaker 3 (05:33):
Yeah, that you really you couldn't wait to Dig into,
you feel me, they know better.
Speaker 1 (05:42):
At the crib.
You know, I don't really tripoff Nothing at home.
If they eat it, it is what itis.
Speaker 2 (05:48):
But at work things, no, never, never you ain't never
had a homie like walking yourcrib, drink your last vest soda,
and then that was in the cribnah bro hey like never bro, like
even if it was on accident, browas like.
Speaker 1 (06:03):
Oh bro, when I think about it, like I can't really
picture Uh or remember aspecific, that's cause this
nigga.
Speaker 3 (06:13):
Had a pack of cookies and somebody ate some Of his
cookies.
He just didn't even know it.
Speaker 1 (06:18):
Yeah, but if I ain't know it, then I ain't trip off
of it.
Speaker 2 (06:20):
Y'all been saying, yeah, bro, got gotten, didn't
trip.
Speaker 1 (06:22):
But nah, if like say, for instance, like my mom, my
mom had a boyfriend and he wasliterally old dude from Baby Boy
bruh.
Except he wasn't that, you know, gangster.
You know, yeah, he wasn't thatstreet.
So check this out, Paint thatpicture.
(06:43):
I can remember, yeah, but itwas him, I had him in there.
Speaker 3 (06:50):
Like, oh man Come on.
Speaker 1 (06:55):
Hey, let him go, let him go, nah, nah, nah.
Rip to him, though.
He passed away, but but, butanyway, I can.
Yes, he has, but I was probablyin my early my, my late teens,
you know what I'm saying.
So I had to go to my mom and,like you know, he, taking my
(07:17):
stuff, like you know what I'msaying, eat my stuff or whatever
you know.
But hell, no, not another adult, fuck.
No, like my cousin, that niggaused to go down and wear my
clothes.
Now, that used to piss me off.
Not no drink.
So if you put it in thatcategory, yes, like, and I
(07:37):
caught his ass one time Because,look, I was going out, it was
me and my wife.
We were going to what's his name, wife.
We were going to ChrisetteMichelle.
We went to a Chrisette Michelleshow and on the way down there
we left something.
(07:57):
So I'm like, damn, we're goingto be late.
So I bust the U-turn and droveall the way back hella fast.
So wasn't nobody there at first.
But now all these motherfuckersin here, they having a little
party and shit, and this niggagot on my pants which ones?
Speaker 3 (08:14):
I say eight, cuz which ones.
Speaker 1 (08:17):
There was probably some Levi's back then.
But you know what I'm saying.
I was moving.
You know what I'm the uh, thisthe part of my life where I was
leaving my dad's house after thelittle situation and I was
staying around the corner at mycousin's house and I packed all
my shit up but it was in like alittle tote.
So you mean to tell me you wentthrough my shit and found my
(08:40):
levi's that you like and wentput the motherfuckers on.
Yeah, hey, cuz, take them off.
And he went put themmotherfuckers on.
Yeah, hey, cuz, take them off.
And he went and took themmotherfuckers off and didn't say
shit.
But you already know.
Speaker 2 (08:50):
Damn Like that.
Come on cuz.
Yeah, you know when a niggastraight dead silent, though
it's like all right, yeah, he orwhat.
Speaker 1 (09:02):
you ain't gonna take my man, I'm gonna take the
motherfuckers off because wegonna be banging.
Speaker 2 (09:05):
But I feel like that's a perfect situation
though, because because clothesis just as important.
Speaker 3 (09:08):
We gotta talk about it bro.
We gotta talk about it bro nohe ain't that type bro.
Speaker 1 (09:12):
I know, I know, cuz went and took him off because he
would have banged with me aboutit you know what I'm saying.
I was about to say that's mylittle cousin.
It's my little cousin, but Iknow he would have stood on it.
But he know me too, like man.
Them my pants, bro.
Take them, motherfuckers, outbro.
Come on, man you know damn well,bro, if you would and he know
(09:35):
me, bro, like you know damn wellIf I would If you would have
been like you know what I meanLike come on, bro, but like you
said, at the end of the day it'sjust because he didn't ask.
Speaker 3 (09:44):
Yeah, principal bro, got too comfortable, bro.
Respect.
Speaker 2 (09:47):
But I feel like a lot of people do that, like that's
usually when People fuck up yeah, right, you know what I'm
saying.
They get too comfortable inyour life.
Then they do some dumb shit and, instead of coming to apologize
, they either try to sweep itunder the rug and keep and keep
pushing yeah, or niggas willghost you and disappear.
So whether they owe you somebread, right, mm-hmm?
(10:07):
Or they just wronged you in away you know what I'm saying
Messed with your chick, or youknow what I'm saying Was messing
.
Maybe he was messing with theops, or something like that.
Speaker 3 (10:17):
How long did it take until you forgave him for it?
Was it instantly?
Until you forgave him for it?
Was it instantly?
Speaker 1 (10:22):
Yeah, like instantly.
Like it was even a time wherehis brother, like we was joking
back and forth, me and himalways joned, and it was his
birthday the day after mine, sowe close, you know.
So we got to argue Well, notarguing, but it kind of went
(10:43):
into like play to argue and thenbro got mad.
So I was walking out the door,bro punched me.
I'm like damn, and we thatclose, he knew that was fucked
up, you know what I'm saying.
And later he apologized.
But those are the type ofsituations where it's like I
didn't immediately forgive himwith the pants, I was like
(11:07):
that's some petty shit, I don'tcare about that.
Speaker 2 (11:10):
But and you still went, took him up.
Like you know what I'm sayinglike I even I respected that.
Speaker 1 (11:15):
He respected me enough to go take the
motherfuckers off and with nobig issue and shit.
Um, but my cousin who punchedme and shit, I was like like
damn, I'm like you know, eventhough it got a little rad, I
didn't even got into it with hisdaddy that day because he was.
I was like nigga, y'all got mefucked up.
You know what I'm saying like.
But I went back around to mypop's crib and shit, sat there,
(11:36):
talked to my other cousins andshit.
Like Mason came around thereand was like cuz.
He said he was he's sorry, cuz,like he.
You know, I'm saying like itwas in the moment, bro, like.
So I went back over there andtalked to him but for a while I
was like I want my lick back Iwant to sock the shit out of you
, bro like but yeah, now I feellike that's good.
(12:00):
But now you know what I'm sayingI don't know, I don't know how
long it took for that to pass,but you know, I forgave him for
it because it was once they toldme how he felt.
Yeah, and he told me because mybad, you know what I'm saying
and we shook it up.
It's never been a situationlike that, ever again.
But for that to happen, it waskind of like shocking, you know,
(12:23):
and like one of us, we want ourlick back.
You feel me Like bruh, let mepunch you please one time, like
nah, bro.
Speaker 2 (12:32):
Fuck, you got going on, bro.
I feel like, but what you thinkthat's?
You think it's just adisrespect, or you feel like
it's deeper than that.
Speaker 1 (12:42):
You feel like it's like sadness or heartbreak.
Speaker 2 (12:43):
You know what you mean.
Because like what, what leadsyou to the point where you feel
like you gotta hold on to thatshit for a minute?
Like what makes you feel likeyou gotta get your lick back.
Is it because you feel likethat nigga one-upped you, or is
it just because?
You feel like a nigga hurt you.
Speaker 1 (12:55):
You know what I'm saying so you feel like you want
to hurt that motherfucker?
Nah, okay for me.
For me and and bruh said,Unique said this before it
depends on how bad you cut me,and for me it's how close you
are to me and how you cut me.
Speaker 3 (13:14):
I was just going to ask you that because do you
think it hurt more when yourfamily do something?
Speaker 1 (13:21):
more disrespectful than your close partner.
You know what I'm saying?
Yes, it cut deeper.
Yes, absolutely, and I don'twant to keep going on these
stories, bro, but my y'all knowmy cousin that I just had got
into a situation with bro.
It hurt.
But this is a question that Iwould ask both of y'all now,
(13:44):
when somebody do something toyou that you already feel like
they done hurt you before, doesit hurt a little less afterwards
?
You?
Speaker 2 (13:53):
feel me like I think it depends, bro like there are
definitely people in my life whohave patterns, who I recognize
like they gonna do shit likethat yeah you know, I'm saying
like it's also depend on howdeep it is.
Speaker 3 (14:06):
You know, I'm saying like you didn't put a pass on.
Speaker 2 (14:09):
You expected a kind of yeah, yeah, like, because
some people they teach you whothey are, bro, you gotta watch
what they do so you put trust inthem, or you, you know you
expect them to be different thanwhat they are.
Yeah, that's on you.
But for other people who, like,act out of character in a way,
that's where it fucked me up.
It's like that ain't even likeyou, like I ain't expect that
(14:30):
from you.
You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (14:31):
I see my cousins the type that I kind of expected it.
But you know, I put it inperspective.
Where you have a person thatdid all this shit but has now
grown it shows that they'vegrown, you know what I'm saying
Like damn bro, like I'm fuckingwith you bro, like yeah, you
(14:52):
know what I'm saying, and thenthey go revert back to that
person again.
That's the type of shit.
It hurt a little bit.
Speaker 3 (15:01):
It's almost betrayal.
Speaker 1 (15:02):
Yeah, Now that I ain't going to say it hurt, but
it kind of pissed me off Becauseyou feel like it's malicious.
Yeah, and so I can't forgivethat.
You know what I'm saying.
I ain't going to lie.
Speaker 2 (15:13):
That's one of them situations that you got to be
real specific with, because forme, when you were talking, I
heard they betrayed themselvesmore than they betrayed you.
They came from a point wherethey said I'm gonna grow to this
point that take dedication,that take intentionality, that
take focus.
So they grew from one point toanother point to be able to
convince you that they was adifferent, a different person.
(15:34):
Yeah, so for them to go back tosome shit.
What happened?
Because that's what I want toknow what was the triggering
incident that would have led tothem going back to that decision
?
Speaker 1 (15:43):
um you know some shit , some shit.
That's always separated all ofus.
That it's, it's entitlement, broyeah like he feels like that
his house should be like anairbnb or something.
But you know situations in ourfamily ain't gonna let that
(16:06):
happen.
You know what I'm saying and mymom has dealt with a lot.
I don't really think he reallytaking that into account, yeah,
and then so he lashed out at mymom.
But I wanted from myperspective yeah, I talked to
him maybe a week before.
I said, hey, cuz man, we cuzman.
We was talking about trust andstuff like that.
And he was like man, do youtrust me?
(16:26):
I was like damn right.
I said, man, you one of theones that never disrespected my
mom, you ain't never did thisblah, blah, blah, blah blah.
And for you to go disrespect mymom like two weeks later, bro,
you owe me a fade, bro, likeseriously, bro.
Speaker 2 (16:41):
I feel that, though I agree with that.
Speaker 1 (16:43):
So can I forgive that Hell?
Nah, like I really can't, likeI can't, even when I get my lick
back and I don't even feel likeI don't even feel like I really
wanna, even Like I be talking alot of shit, right, yeah, I
wanna throw hands on all thisshit, but really, bruh, I don't
want no dealings with you Forthe rest of my life.
Bruh, that's it bro.
Speaker 2 (17:04):
Different bro.
Peace is the goal.
You know what I'm saying?
Speaker 1 (17:06):
Yeah, I don't really want to throw hands when I see
you and blah, blah, blah,because what my mom, my mom, she
said I can forgive him, I canmove forward.
So if that's the case, it'sjust like if your mom had a
boyfriend and he beating her upand she keep putting them out
but keep letting them back in.
You don't want to keep dealingwith that.
So okay, if you want to dealwith that, that's cool.
(17:28):
But me, fuck, no, I'm done withthat shit.
You feel?
Speaker 2 (17:32):
me.
I mean, it's a position you gotto take in life.
But I agree with that right,because eventually you're going
to get to forgiveness and Idifferent people got different
paths to take, because there'scertain people who you may
forgive a hell of a lot easierfor the same action, just
because of who they are, right,like the character that they
have.
You know what I'm saying.
But my question to y'all is howdo you get to that point,
(17:54):
regardless of who it is or whatit is that they do to you?
What's your process offorgiveness like?
What do you need to have?
What's in your recipe book?
Like, like for me, real quick,you gotta it's gotta be
acknowledgement.
That's one thing for me I know.
Gotta be there we gottaacknowledge what the fuck
happened yeah, like you can't bedancing around it like but I
(18:14):
love you, I promise I'm gonnalike, yeah, all that's cool, but
we need to acknowledge what thefuck happened so we know what
the recipe is, what, whattriggered this, what made you go
here, what made you do this,and then then we could dance
around the rest of that shit alittle bit later.
Like that's for me, what abouty'all?
Speaker 3 (18:30):
I was gonna say, like , I think it depends on if the
goal is to reconcile, um, butthat's a good question.
It's circumstantial.
For me, man, like I've said, itdepends on how deep you cut me.
So, me personally, if somebodydo something dirt to me you know
what I'm saying it's certainlines that I can't let it be
(18:53):
crossed.
Yeah, yeah, but for mepersonally, but if you hurt
somebody that's closer to me,it's static like forever.
Yeah, you know what I'm saying.
So I'm real territorial with mypeoples, you know I'm saying so
.
I'm very protected in that, inthat realm.
Speaker 2 (19:09):
So if you hurt one of them, it's it's, it's what hurt
or remotely even threat bothman the exact I think it's the
legitimacy of the threat too,though, like if you feel like
somebody really gonna try to dosomething, or you feel like they
capable of actually doingsomething, it's like, alright,
no, I gots to, I gots to puthands on you, cause you out of
(19:30):
line.
Speaker 1 (19:30):
Alright, now I'm just gonna challenge you.
Now I'm gonna challenge you.
What if this person is not intheir right mind, even if you
solely believe that they were intheir right mind?
Speaker 2 (19:47):
What if they weren't?
Speaker 1 (19:49):
What if they were, what if they just were?
Speaker 3 (19:53):
you know, because some people just be wigging out
and be out of their minds Ifthey did something to me and at
that time they weren't in theirright mind, and that's going off
my perception Of.
If I perceive it that way, Igotta be able to interpret it.
You know what I'm saying In themoment.
Speaker 1 (20:11):
So and also it depends on Can't nobody just
tell you that shit Like he's,huh, like.
Can't nobody just tell you Likeoh, he's.
Speaker 3 (20:19):
Nah hell nah Boy nah.
Cause you Nah Like can't nobodyjust tell you like oh, he's,
he's Nah hell nah Boy nah,because you nah what, you get
them to print it out.
Speaker 2 (20:23):
Nigga, nigga like no, no, look, I got.
I got.
The doctor said I'm fucked up.
Speaker 3 (20:29):
The doctor said I'm fucked up.
Speaker 2 (20:31):
Look, no wait, let me pull up my chart.
Nigga, why you putting up mychart?
You getting smacked.
I'm a holler Bro, see, I needverification.
Speaker 3 (20:40):
Do you?
Speaker 1 (20:40):
got a blue check, nigga.
Speaker 2 (20:42):
Do you got a blue check?
Speaker 1 (20:44):
And don't bring no truck, because he's probably
going to think you got a weaponYou're going to beat your ass.
Speaker 2 (20:49):
Nigga triggered.
Speaker 3 (20:51):
Yes, bro, don't get to tweet you like that, bro.
But no, go ahead, go ahead.
Like I said, for me it could becircumstantial man and I have
honestly selective forgiveness.
Yeah, you can call it is whatit is.
Yeah, yeah, but I'm working onall that.
I'm getting to a place whereI'm trying to be more forgiving,
be more empathetic witheverybody, so, but just please
(21:15):
stay over there with the BS.
You know what I'm saying?
I'm cool PSA.
Speaker 2 (21:18):
PSA.
Speaker 1 (21:22):
Stay over there with the BS.
That goes for all people andall things.
Speaker 2 (21:24):
Stay over there.
Speaker 3 (21:25):
With the BS?
Yeah, but why?
Speaker 1 (21:28):
So I'm going to go into this Real shit.
Like why is it so hard toforgive someone who hurt you
though?
Like because even when I goback and talk to my Talk about
my cousin or my dad or anythingLike that, it took me a long
time To forgive my dad, yeah,but for my cousin Bruh, I am
throwing up barriers, like Idon't wanna Forgive him, bruh.
(21:51):
Like so why is it so hard ForFor People you know To forgive
people?
Speaker 3 (22:00):
That hurt them.
Speaker 1 (22:00):
You tell me this.
Speaker 3 (22:01):
Do you think people you know to forgive people that
hurt them?
You tell me this.
Do you think it hurt worsebecause of the fact that him
saying did he say he never puthands on your mother, or you
identified that?
Speaker 1 (22:14):
No, he never put you talking about my cousin.
No, he never put hands on her.
Speaker 3 (22:18):
No, no, no, no, no.
I'm saying, but you broughtthat up, or you brought that up
committing him like Neverdisrespecting your mom, stuff
like that, yeah.
So I think it's because youbrought that up and y'all talked
about it and then in a shortperiod of time it done happening
.
Speaker 2 (22:31):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (22:31):
So that's where the betrayal lie for you, because
yeah, it's ultimate betrayal.
It's just what was talked about.
Speaker 2 (22:38):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (22:38):
I think If he would've done it before and
y'all didn't talk about it, itwouldn't be to this level, I
think, because y'all spoke on itand then it turned around and
it just happened like that.
Yeah, it's like we just talkedabout this, bro.
Yeah, you know what.
I'm saying so.
I think that's what it is Withyou.
You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (22:57):
Yeah, cause I feel like if we wouldn't have talked
about it before, I feel like afade would have justified it and
we would have moved on type ofshit.
Speaker 3 (23:05):
You know what I'm saying.
Like, yeah, you'redisrespecting my mom, but that's
what all it be taking for me.
Yeah, nigga, look, I ain'tgonna lie.
I what I'm saying.
Speaker 2 (23:17):
But that's what all it would have been, and that was
it, but I think that I thinkyou should take it deeper than
that, though, cause I don'tthink it has to do with the
exchange of that.
It's the release of that shit.
You know what I'm saying?
Like that's what it really is.
You needed to release it.
Speaker 1 (23:29):
Yeah, cause I mean.
But but see, when I explainedit to him, it like I felt like I
was being and I don't likebeing especially on crew, you
know, and I'm like wait a minute.
And that's kind of why I waslike, look, if this was street
(23:50):
like, this is what I would havedone.
And he was like, okay, I get ityou know, it makes more sense.
Yeah, you know.
Speaker 2 (23:56):
But we were playing monopoly and monopoly gets a
little intense all the time, butI think y'all dancing around to
answer to your question, though, and, like you, literally,
y'all literally just answered it.
It's the reason why it's sohard for us to forgive people is
because it makes it seem likethat's okay, like what they did
was okay to us.
Yeah, and we won't.
Hey, this was a violation.
Yeah, no, like we won't.
(24:17):
That's what I was saying aboutacknowledgement.
Speaker 3 (24:19):
Like you got to sit down with me and let me know
what's going on Like you ain'tfinna, just skirt pass If it's a
conversation, if it's a levelof understanding at the end of
the day, two men can sit downand we could disagree.
As long as I can identify.
Oh, that's what you wasthinking, you understand what.
I was thinking oh, now youunderstand what I was thinking.
Okay, all right, but now thatwe know that this is the way we
think, we can't do that no more.
Speaker 1 (24:41):
Yeah, and he wanted to talk to me about it.
I just I'm not willing to,because you owe my mom a
conversation, not me.
You feel me and then like youalso for giving, like for giving
a motherfucker, like sometimesyou have to get it out, like
(25:02):
y'all saying you got to get itout, like y'all saying you gotta
get it out to them, but I ain't, I ain't there, bro, yeah, I
ain't there.
Speaker 3 (25:06):
It's cool, cause that's the answer Ant's question
that he have for us earlier.
That's one of my things too.
It's time.
Yeah, you know what I'm saying?
It's gonna take time times.
You know they had'm saying it'sgoing to take time.
Times.
You know they had the sayingtimes heal our wounds.
I'm a little iffy with thatRight.
I think time can break down thewounds to be able to heal.
(25:29):
You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 2 (25:30):
It gives you the opportunity to do it.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (25:33):
I get you.
Speaker 2 (25:33):
What about you, though?
I agree with that stuff, man.
I like everything that y'allsaid.
I think for me, um, forgivenesshas always been about like me,
like I ain't never been one ofthe people like when it comes to
relationships and shit, likethey're like, maintaining them
has always been a struggle forme, like I'm real good at
starting them like I'm a realgood first impression guy like
(25:55):
you know what I'm saying like.
but as far as like maintainingrelationships over time because
I never really like understoodthe inner workings of that Even
with my wife, she'd be on thesecalls with her family and
everybody talking about theirday and there'd be too much
going on.
They'd be overstimulated, bro.
I'd be like, all right, I can'tdeal with it.
But I think when it comes towhen I've been wronged, I don't
(26:16):
let people close to me like that.
So if I feel like you wrongedme, I feel like like that hit me
real deep, you know, I meanbecause it's already in the
circle.
I'm all.
I'm like.
You already made it past allthese other things.
You know what I'm saying.
So for me it kind of that.
That pains me in a way, but noteven that like I'm real vocal
to people I care about as far aslike my boundaries and I got a
(26:36):
lot of them, so it's like youknow mean.
So it's like when you hit onone they strike a chord with me
because I'm like we had thisconversation.
You know what I mean.
So I be feeling like it'sintentional, not necessarily
malicious, like you were sayingearlier, but just like did you
just not give a fuck?
Or like what were you doing?
You know what I mean.
Like where was you at?
But I think that's the wholepoint of forgiveness.
(26:58):
For me it's just letting go oflike the anger part of it.
We don't necessarily have toreconcile, which I think is a
whole other step, but I'm just,I'm not mad, no more, and that's
how I know like I'm there.
Speaker 3 (27:09):
You know what I'm saying.
You mean to be able to moveforward.
Yeah, you don't be resentful?
Yeah for sure.
The goal is to move forward.
Going to prevent you frommoving forward?
I ain't got time for that bro,that shit heavy bro.
Speaker 2 (27:20):
Yeah, like that's the thing, like you think about it,
because we could also talkabout, like what happens in a
situation where you choose notto, because there's also
situations I don't know abouty'all.
There's situations where thereare people unfortunately and
it's been you know years wherethey just it's when I think
about it.
That ain't necessarily the mostcomfortable situation I want to
be in when I think about saidperson or said situation.
(27:41):
So, like how y'all deal withthat?
Because that's a weight tooright, because every time
something reminds you of it thatcould bring back emotions or
you know I'm saying thoughts.
Speaker 3 (27:50):
I'm not gonna let nobody dictate how I like move,
because I feel like that's gonnabe giving them power over me
you feel?
Speaker 2 (27:57):
do you honestly feel like that, though?
Do you feel like there's nobodyin the world who could like do
something and they like put youin that mode because I, I can't?
I could be honest, like when itcome to my wife, when it come
to like I got a lot of femalesin my family.
When it come to certain things,those are triggering incidents
where it's like I have toliterally weigh in my head
whether I'm gonna let my crazyout and go to jail or, like, let
this play out like.
Speaker 3 (28:18):
You know what I'm saying.
I'm not in a place.
I'm not in a place anymore If Ienter the room and I see you
and I crash out.
Yeah, yeah, I'm not in a placeanymore To do that.
Like I said, I'm going to seeyou Analyze the situation.
Can we come outside, or I'mgoing to catch you again.
You know what I'm saying, butwhat you mean by come outside.
Speaker 2 (28:34):
You mean Like.
You mean like square up withthem.
They got to go, all right, butthat's what I guess that's what
I mean too.
I don't mean like necessarily,like trip out, but I mean like
it's going to be a problem, likebecause, even if it's a calm,
problem.
Speaker 3 (28:46):
It's a problem.
You know what I'm saying.
Like I said, it depends what itis.
Speaker 2 (28:54):
Because I'm going to sit there and probably try to
talk at in your life that youdon't rock with and you ain't
rock with them for five, tenyears.
Whatever the case is, how youdeal with that like because you
carrying it around becauseobviously something may remind
you of you, might see a facebookpost, somebody might be like,
oh, they asked about you.
Whatever the case is, however,you might have been tied to them
, or it could be a situationwith somebody you ain't rock
with a long time, and then yousee them or they around, or
(29:15):
somebody tell you that theycoming to kick it at your crib
and you it just that instantfire, y'all don't have nobody
like that.
Like that's that it's literallythat instant fire they talking
about.
Oh, this, this person, finna,come over, or this person, finna
, pull up.
You know what I'm saying.
Think about, think about thosesituations.
Are there like because thoseare people who need to be
forgiven on the front end?
absolutely but obviously that'ssomething you carrying around.
(29:37):
But how do you carry that shitaround or do you just
compartmentalize?
You took that shit in the backpocket, yeah or is it?
Something you stew on from timeto time, like, yeah, if I catch
that motherfucker, it's a wrap.
Speaker 1 (29:46):
I tell, I usually tell people and and I don't want
to, you know, make it like I'mcrazy or anything but I, I, I
envision a little door in my, inmy, the basement of my brain,
where I keep all my shit.
You know what I'm saying, theshit that I don't really want to
address until it's time.
I mean that's where I put theshit, because my kids don't
(30:11):
deserve the energy that I needto give somebody else.
So you got a little red doortype shit.
Speaker 2 (30:16):
You got a little like yeah.
Speaker 1 (30:18):
You know what I'm saying?
I'm dead ass.
That's what people say.
Like you got a little.
Like you know what I'm saying Alittle dough down there, I'm
dead ass.
I mean that's what people say,like psychology they be like.
Speaker 2 (30:24):
they got a little, like a little red door or a
little black door where, likethey hide shit away, they just
popping up.
Speaker 1 (30:30):
Hey, it just might be that.
Speaker 2 (30:33):
That's how my shit is .
You know, it's just raw.
Speaker 1 (30:36):
Like it's kind of like, when the time comes and I
need to address that, yeah, yeah, I'm going to go down that
motherfucker quietly, I'm goingto unlock that motherfucker and
I'm going to bring that shitwith me.
That's all it's going to take.
Like, of course I have, I ain'tgoing to say I have that many
people that you know, I havethat type of feeling for Right,
(30:57):
right, right.
But yeah, you know, I, I canactually say, yeah, that and I
and I and I put that away untilthe time comes because, like you
told me before that I'vealready forgiven this person.
But in my mind, like when I didforgive this person and I went
in for that hug and they didn'thug me back, I kind of went back
(31:21):
again like oh, okay you realize.
Speaker 2 (31:25):
But like, I think that's a part of like, I think
that's the whole reconciliation,part of it, right, like that's
that's when we start gettinginto like trying to repair the
relationship and trying to likeget back on good terms.
I don't think everybodydeserves that.
I think everybody deservesforgiveness because technically,
that affects you.
You know what I'm saying.
It's really for you and yoursanity and your peace, but I
think everybody deservesforgiveness.
(31:45):
Everybody don't deserve to be apart of your life after that
though.
Okay, you know what I'm sayinglike, I feel like personally,
like you could let it go and belike all right, because there's
a bunch of people in my lifelike that.
I let it go, we good, I ain'tgot no issues with you, but will
I trust you, will?
I want you around me, will wego kick it?
Will you get any type of invitefrom me?
Hell, no, so that's just,that's just how I'm moving.
(32:06):
But there's only one person inmy life that's like that's got
that fire and just there's aparticular individual who
touched my mama in a particulartype of way.
That's the only person.
I'm reserving anything for.
Everybody else in my life Iain't got nothing, nothing for.
But that's.
That's the one thing they, likeyou've pretty much forgiven
everybody bro, I've matured to apoint where I understand that
(32:27):
everything that happenedhappened to me for a reason,
like especially for mydevelopment to be where I'm at.
Whether it's a story, I couldtell somebody else to help them
out, or just help me figure someshit out in my own life.
You know, know what I'm saying.
It just I realized that now,like it's just, I don't really
trip up that.
Speaker 3 (32:44):
You know what I'm saying.
At what point can you get to beready to reconcile with an
individual that you have forgavefor something they've done to
you?
Speaker 2 (32:56):
or somebody else.
That's easy, that's the easypart.
All you got to do is do ananalysis, bro.
You got easy, that's the easypart.
All you gotta do is do ananalysis, bro.
You gotta look and see if y'allare aligned.
Be something that, uh monte,then we've talked about before.
When you talk about like people,especially people that's been
in your life for a long time, orlike people that you knew from
way back when, and you reconnectwith them, y'all are different
people than y'all were at thatparticular point in time.
So you gotta reassess to seeare y'all still aligned?
(33:17):
Do y'all still have things incommon?
Do you still?
You know, I'm saying, can youbenefit from this relationship
in any type of way?
And then you could think aboutmoving forward.
For me, there's people I had todo that with and there's people
I no longer talk to, who I love.
You know, I'm saying I got love, for I want their kids to be
great, I want all of that forthem, but I can't interact with
them on a daily basis because itdidn't bring any fruits to my
(33:39):
life and I knew for theirdevelopment they needed to be
away from me.
Speaker 1 (33:42):
Yeah, you know, I'm saying, that's just so you feel?
Speaker 3 (33:45):
like go ahead, go ahead montay.
Speaker 1 (33:47):
no, I was saying I feel that because, like, like
kind of reverse, yeah, one of mypartners, you know, he really
kind of got to forgive himself.
You know I've done so much forhim to where it's like I don't,
I don't feel bad, but he thinkthat he did something wrong.
So, you know, when people stoptalking to you, because the last
(34:08):
time I remember I gave him somelittle, like I cashed up on him
some little amount of money, itwasn't nothing, life changing.
Speaker 2 (34:17):
You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (34:18):
Nothing, it was a little nothing.
It was to help him get home.
You know what I'm saying.
Nothing, it was a littlenothing.
It was to help him get home.
You know what I'm saying.
But he was in a situation thatsomebody that I used to fuck
with, that I was real close withI used to fuck with bro a lot,
you know what I'm saying.
But he got into a situationwith him and he was end up
walking, you know what I'msaying.
So he asked me for some cash orwhatever to get him home and
then, um, he was like I'm gonnapay you back.
(34:40):
I was like, bro, you don't haveto pay me back, pay me back by
not putting yourself in themsituations anymore, all right.
So I don't think he's everforgiven himself to that point
where he like, damn, like Ithink he gonna pop back up when
he doing better in life I wasjust gonna say that, bro.
Speaker 2 (34:57):
It's the shame of life, bro, especially when
somebody check you like that.
They, they, you put boundariesin place.
That's exactly what it was.
You put a boundary in place tolet cat know this ain't okay and
he he stayed away instead ofcoming around to keep fucking up
and keep.
You know, I'm saying steppingover your boundary.
He respected that.
You set that motherfucker anddecided not to deal with you.
Yeah, I rock with people likethat because you knew you wasn't
(35:19):
going to be able to respectwhat I got going on.
So, instead of being like arebellious force in my life and
I always got to come check youin and put my hands out you just
going to dismiss yourself.
You know what I ain't bringingshit to, bro, life right now.
Let me stay the fuck over here.
You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (35:33):
I fuck with that, that's my nigga.
And that's my nigga dog.
Speaker 2 (35:42):
Like he's solid but he also was one of the people
who depleted the homie fund thefirst time, which is a side note
, which is exactly why we got toput some parameters on that
bitch.
That's why I'm saying likebecause I would want to do it
like a lottery.
You know what I'm saying.
Have people write in or say whythey would need it, or put
their reasons in, and then wepull some shit from a hat or
spin a wheel or some shit.
You know what I'm?
Speaker 1 (35:59):
saying Cause, then that way it's like some
stipulations and shit to it.
Speaker 2 (36:03):
Just a shameless plug .
Niggas love our podcast namebrought to you by no, I'm just
playing Nah, but I had to.
I had to cut the tension, bro,we was getting dark and I I want
to appreciate the fact that allof us have had situations where
we've had to forgive people ormay still be.
You know what I'm saying,working through some forgiveness
, because the whole point ofthis podcast is to tell people
(36:24):
like, yeah, we may have been inthe trenches, shit, but some of
us still are in certainsituations in our life and we
trying to work through that.
You know what I mean.
So I want to make sure that wewas talking through our process
because, a nigga like me, Idefinitely be having an issue
with forgiving people at sometimes, but at the same time, I
think I have a pretty goodconcept in my brain of what the
fuck is supposed to happenduring that process.
(36:44):
Yeah, you know what?
Speaker 1 (36:45):
I'm saying it's hard though, bro, it's hard as hell
it's a difference betweenknowledge and wisdom, bro.
Speaker 2 (36:50):
Knowledge is knowing what to do, wisdom is knowing
when to apply it.
So you gotta you know what I'msaying, you gotta be in that
situation I mean okay, so thiscould be a fun self-forgiveness.
Speaker 1 (37:04):
bro, have you felt like you've forgiven yourself
Because?
Speaker 2 (37:07):
look, I told y'all I don't feel like.
Speaker 1 (37:10):
I did anything wrong.
Speaker 2 (37:12):
And I think that's a beautiful outlook on life to
have.
But I also think that has a lotto do with how you grew up and
the weights that you normallycarried around life.
If you normally felt like youwere a pretty free person
growing up, then you probablygonna feel like that into
adulthood.
I carried unnecessary weightsthroughout childhood.
So growing up as a man, I'm I'mcarrying around unnecessary
weights.
There's I was talking to a boy,uh, bro, earlier and we was
(37:34):
talking about how, like how catselevated, coming from where we
come from, and you know, I meanmessing up opportunities and
being able to flip stuff on hishead.
But, bro, a lot of that is likejust perseverance, bro, we just
had to get up and keep doing it.
I didn't have an option.
I didn't have no like rolemodel to look at and like model
myself after.
I just had to like keep doingit until I figured out something
(37:54):
that worked.
And then I found something thatworked and I kept pressing it
from there.
You know what I'm saying.
So when it comes toself-forgiveness, I think about
like pressures I put on myselfand I just had to keep like,
think about, all right, putyourself in a different
situation, learn something new.
Learn something new and y'allknow I didn't have 18 different
types of job pathways and then Ifinally landed in somewhere.
I'm like all right, all right,this gonna work.
(38:15):
So for me it was just like keep, keep going, keep trying
something until you figure itout.
As far as like self-forgivenessgoes, just figuring it out bro.
Hey, but I was telling somebodyelse that bro, that's how I
learned, like trial and errorhas always been how I learned.
So when it kind of forgivingmyself, like I said, I credit
everything to being able tolearn from it like I learned.
(38:37):
I learned something from everyfailure I've ever had.
Every situation where I feellike I was down, bad I, I was
like, yep, all right, don't dothis, don't do this, don't
interact with them type ofpeople, blah, blah, blah, blah,
blah.
And then I'm at where I'm atnow.
Speaker 3 (38:47):
And that's the thing I was getting ready to say,
because I think at our age we'reat the point where we're
getting very good at identifyingwho's for us in our life, who's
supposed to probably remain.
That's real, you know what I'msaying.
And even if they did somethingto us, we know they probably
were still having a round, so wetrying to fix it.
(39:09):
You know what I'm saying.
So it's worth fixing andforgiving and reconciling.
Speaker 1 (39:15):
You know, I like that thought.
What thought?
The thought that he just had?
Because I'm not like that.
That thought, what thought thethought that he just had Because
I'm not like that, I don't.
I feel like Forgiveness got alot to do with Loyalty.
Speaker 2 (39:34):
Does it?
Yeah, what about if it'ssomebody?
Speaker 1 (39:36):
Cause it's my brother , but you don't know nothing.
You don't know nothing abouthim, like, like a cat that run
up on you at Walgreens and stayat your parking spot right when
you was finna pull in orsomething I can forgive that
that's nothing to forgive,because I ain't going to hop out
and whoop your ass.
What if he almost hit your?
Speaker 2 (39:50):
car, or your daughter , was like right there and he
pulled into a parking spot tooclose.
You're going to get a.
I'm putting you into a scenariowhere, like, because people are
going to test you, bro, youknow what I'm saying?
That's all I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (40:03):
That's fine, that's fine.
Speaker 3 (40:06):
All those situations.
You know he getting popped,Stop playing.
Man, look he playing Like Nahnigga.
You know we poppin' him, bro.
Speaker 2 (40:15):
We poppin' him Car ain't even all the way in the
park, nigga, as soon as you said, kill involved and almost hit
bro I ain't gonna shoot him.
Speaker 1 (40:25):
I ain't gonna shoot him, but look, I ain't gonna
shoot him, though I would dojust this Okay.
Kill that as soon as he park.
As soon as he parked.
As soon as he parked I ain'tgonna shoot him though, nigga.
As soon as he parked I'mparking right behind that,
motherfucker, like if.
Okay, so every situation thatyou said Got a different outcome
.
Speaker 2 (40:43):
You hear me Like.
You almost hit my car.
Speaker 1 (40:47):
Alright, i'ma walk behind your ass the whole time
in Walmart Until you walk outthat motherfucker Mugging your
ass Now, now.
Hey, it is what it is, I'm justshopping in Walmart until you
walk out that motherfuckermugging your ass.
Now, hey, it is what it is.
I'm just shopping in Walmart.
You see what I'm?
Saying I'm not even finished,just because.
I walk down every aisle he did.
Speaker 2 (41:07):
I still hey look, we got a similar shopping list.
What you want me to say, but noyou almost hit my kid bro.
Speaker 1 (41:14):
You almost hit my kid .
I deserve an explanation, andif you don't give me one, I'm
beating that ass Like flat thefuck out.
I don't play about my kids Allright back to forgiveness.
Yeah, back to forgiveness,because I ain't forgiving that.
Yeah, he going to get that asswhooped and I ain't going to
have to forgive him, and that'sone thing about it, bro.
Like I really don't care aboutforgiveness when it comes to
(41:37):
people that I don't know Iprobably will never see again.
Speaker 2 (41:40):
I don't need to forgive you, bro, but yeah, but
um, but we was talking aboutself-forgiveness, bro, and I
want to get back on that subjectbecause I feel like that's the
hardest thing for us to be ableto do.
Like, when we talk aboutself-forgiveness, it's something
that like for me, I live in myhead, right, so it's I know what
I fuck up on.
I know when I don't necessarilylike give it my all.
I know when I'm about her likebullshit and they're like
(42:02):
holding back.
You know what I'm saying.
Or like I, I recognize all thatshit.
Speaker 3 (42:07):
I'm sorry bro, this nigga said I live in my head.
The song that popped in my headwas nelly.
It's all in my head.
Speaker 1 (42:13):
It was Nelly.
It's all in my head.
Speaker 2 (42:17):
I hate you niggas Over and over again.
Why, nelly Of all places, niggaOf?
Speaker 1 (42:24):
all people You're so bad.
I mean, look, he wear a StLouis jersey Once a month Go.
Speaker 3 (42:32):
Rams.
Speaker 2 (42:34):
Go Rams.
Speaker 3 (42:36):
They in California.
I'm still loyal man Nigga theyborn.
Speaker 2 (42:39):
They was originally.
Speaker 3 (42:40):
They came from Cali, right?
So all you niggas, that's whythey're St Louis fans.
Speaker 1 (42:43):
I don't give a fuck.
They was in St Louis.
Niggas was impactful.
They was in St Louis Since Iwas born and they traded.
They were traders To me.
Oh my bad, I cut the wholething.
I'm and they traded.
They were traders to me.
Speaker 2 (42:57):
My bad, I cut the whole thing.
I'm like I had a good seguegetting back into it too, nigga,
but I just wanted to be able tolike talk through that, because
for me personally, I do feellike forgiving yourself is
difficult.
There's a lot of shit for likethat I've done in my past that I
like sometimes I recount to her, like compare myself to in my
past, that I like sometimes Irecount to.
(43:17):
I like compare myself to, and Ihave to remember that there are
certain people in my life whoknew me 15 years ago where I
wasn't maybe the best person,and they may still have that
outlook on life, and I gottalearn to be okay with that,
because sometimes I do recognizethat, mike, if I'm trying to
achieve something, I have tostep back and ask myself, like,
am I doing this for me, or am Idoing this because, like, I want
people to be like, oh, thatnigga got a good job, or he, oh,
(43:37):
he came from a long way?
Like, is that what I'm tryingto get people to see, or is it
because I legitimately want tobe at this level in life?
You know what I'm saying.
I think that that's part ofthat self-forgiveness, because
I'm like who I'm doing this for.
Is it for me, or is it forother folk?
Speaker 3 (43:52):
I think, I think that mindset too Is being, like you
said, happy.
Yeah, at the end of the day, ifyou happy with yourself and
where you at in life, youwouldn't be worried about Other
people.
Speaker 1 (44:02):
The perception of others.
Speaker 3 (44:03):
Yeah, you know what I'm saying.
I'm not worried about.
I know I've accomplished a lotAt a young age.
You know what I'm saying andwhere I'm at.
At this point I've done a lot.
So I'm hungry still, but I'mcontent with what I've done you
know what I'm saying?
Speaker 2 (44:21):
Same, bro, I understand.
Life, life be life in this shit, what?
Speaker 1 (44:25):
about your journey of self-forgiveness like what that
look like.
Speaker 3 (44:31):
Oh, I mean, it's certain things I haven't
forgiven myself, and the reasonwhy I say that is because y'all
know how I used to be, you know,really into fitness and all
that type of stuff.
So y'all know, I was in asituation a few years ago, man.
I got depressed, you know whatI'm saying.
So it showed and I'm getting tothe point where I'm getting
(44:56):
back into that mode and thatmindset.
Hence why I mean I'm doing this, uh, isolation, man.
I'm on day seven, so I'm justfasting and praying and staying
focused and into my fitness.
But, to answer your question,bro, I'm still working on
self-forgiveness in that aspect,bro, slowly but surely I think
that's a.
Speaker 2 (45:17):
So because for me, bro, is there.
Is there anything that you arelike I don't know?
Is there like a, a moment inyour life that you are trying to
combat?
Is there anything that you likeyou trying to make sure you
don't identify with?
Because there are moments in mylife, like I said, like I was
somebody who didn't necessarilytake school seriously, even
though I had the intelligence tobe able to do so.
I didn't, and so because ofthat, I had to work a lot harder
(45:40):
later on in life, and now I'mat a point where I'm in
education technically you knowwhat I'm saying as a trainer.
So it's kind of crazy, like forme I was working so hard to
prove that I actually am smart,that I actually do have the
ability to like you know I'msaying be at the same level as
some of my other folks who wentto got their bachelors and got
their masters, even doctors.
(46:00):
You know what I'm saying.
I'm like, all right, I could, Icould rock with cats at that
level too, even though I didn'ttake the same route.
So internally it was kind oflike that, that little force
inside of me like all right, youknow, you can do this, like be
get to that level, like getthere.
You know what I'm saying,whatever it takes.
So is there anything y'all like, that's like driving you is
there like some a mistake youmade or a image that somebody
(46:21):
was trying to hold you to, thatyou're trying to like bury?
I mean?
I have like before I left stlouis, my cousin them used to be
kind of skinny and shit.
Speaker 1 (46:38):
So I kind of you know , not kind of but I started
going to the gym and eatingright Well, not eating right,
but eating period.
You know what I'm saying.
Like when I was in St Louis,bro.
You think about it, man, likeyou start working jobs, you only
only get maybe three, fourhundred dollars every two weeks.
There's nothing to live off of.
(47:00):
You know what I'm saying.
So when you trying to look goodand you know, trying to
maintain at the same time likeno, it don't work.
So I wasn't really eating.
So when I started eating andstarted going to the gym, I
started getting a little bigger.
And now I'll be making fun ofmy cousin.
Like hey, dude, they got skinnyin here.
Boy, what you talking about?
What you talking?
Speaker 3 (47:20):
about boy Get older.
We that age.
We lose some weight when we getolder.
Speaker 1 (47:23):
You know, yeah, yeah, but for me like Metabolism,
slow down too.
Speaker 2 (47:26):
You don't eat as much .
Speaker 1 (47:28):
But nothing that I've really needed to forgive myself
for, though you know myself,for though you know, like I
really don't, I don't know man,like I, like it's little shit,
like oh, I was talking back,talking back to my mom.
You know what I mean, like whenI mean when I was young and I
mean, I feel like that's a goodperspective.
Speaker 2 (47:46):
I don't want you to feel like you gotta be in that
position.
I'd like people like me.
You know I got a very uniquesituation and story.
You know what I mean.
But like if you feel like youlived a life with no regrets, I
think that's a dope life to live.
Speaker 1 (47:56):
I'm kind of jealous of it because a nigga like me be
in my head way too much well, Imean, like my brother said in
the song man shout out to trino,but like he said if, um, if it
happened, it was writtencontract for the soul.
Like you know it, it was meant,bro.
You know he probably didn't sayit in those exact words.
No, I mean, I get it.
Speaker 2 (48:17):
I think I like the sentiment all together, but I
mean I feel like those are goodkeys, like we dropped some good
information on this episode tobe able to like say this is how
you forgive, or, if you'restruggling with forgiveness,
this is how you can go throughthe process of forgiving one
another.
Is there anything like y'allwould want to say to the fans
(48:37):
now that we're like coming tothe end of the episode to make
sure that they are forgivingpeople in their life, or like
that they take a step back andlook at what they can do to
forgive that person?
Speaker 1 (48:46):
I mean, you know, like we we've talked about
forgiveness before and and kindof what it means to us.
For me forgiveness overall likekind of means moving forward.
When I say I have no regrets,it's because I kind of forgive
(49:06):
people and kind of move forward,but I break my rearview mirror
off Meaning that.
I don't look back, I don't dwellin the past.
I don't live there, so I don'treally.
I just move forward, and that'swhat you need to do for, like
yourself, when forgiving people.
That's what you doing.
It for is to move forward.
Like y'all both said in thisepisode here, the goal is to
(49:30):
move forward, move on from thesituation.
Yeah, you can't forget.
You know what I'm saying.
Sometimes you may want toforget.
Yeah, you can't forget.
Speaker 2 (49:39):
You know what I'm saying.
Sometimes you may want toforget, but you can't forget.
So that's my advice.
How about that Unique you?
Speaker 3 (49:43):
got a gem for the people.
Just short and sweet, man, yougot to be able to forgive
yourself, love yourself.
That's the only way you'regoing to be able to move forward
.
You can't worry about the otherpeople and wanting their
forgiveness, because then you'regoing to be just running around
in a circle and then somepeople are going to be intensely
trying to put you in thismental space to where they can
(50:04):
like pull back their want andshow you that they're forgiving
you.
So they're like dangling infront of your face.
You know what I'm saying.
So you got to love, loveyourself, forgive yourself.
You can't get them people piledover you.
Man, stay on your pivot I rockwith that.
Speaker 2 (50:21):
I rock with that, for sure.
Appreciate both of y'all forsaying that, man.
And just for me, man, like,what I would say is forgiveness
is a journey.
You know, I'm saying like it's.
It's not something you gotta doall at one time.
You ain't gotta forgiveeverybody in your life all at
once.
But I would say, start on thatjourney.
You know, I'm saying maybe picksomething small, pick something
easy.
Maybe work on your anger, workon maybe developing a
forgiveness uh process, whetherthat's to sit back and write
(50:44):
down shit that's happened to youand then figure out from there
who you want to forgive in order.
You know what I'm saying.
I think it just just take itone day at a time.
That's what.
That's what I would say.
Make it a lifestyle instead ofsomething that you're trying to
get done real quick right youknow what I mean.
So that's definitely something Iwould say um, and then stay
tuned, man, I think we're gonna.
We're gonna definitely touch onthis subject again.
(51:05):
I feel like it's gonna be a lotof things in life where people
might try to do some some whackshit and we're gonna have to
touch back on it in thesituation.
So, uh, yeah, appreciate y'alllistening.
Make sure y'all subscribe.
We got profiles on Spotify,apple, google.
Wherever you listen to yourfavorite podcast, make sure you
check us out.
Speaker 1 (51:23):
Tune into the website .
Speaker 2 (51:25):
Tune into the website .
Make sure you guys arefollowing us on all platforms.
You can find us on Instagramand Facebook.
Shit, what else we got going on?
Y'all Anything coming up?
Stay tuned for the homie fun.
Yes, sir, working on thosevisuals too.
Speaker 3 (51:39):
So we have a YouTube, youtube is up.
Speaker 2 (51:42):
Though right YouTube page is up, so if y'all wanna
subscribe, we could.
You could get on the YouTube,it's just.
Speaker 3 (51:47):
We just gotta get the .
You know what I'm saying?
Visuals for everything.
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (51:52):
So y'all can do is, as long as y'all subscribe and
you hit that bell right as soonas we drop our first episode, or
even a teaser for the firstepisode, y'all gonna get
notified.
Hell yeah, all right, y'allAppreciate, y'all listening,
love y'all.
This has been Triggered toTrophies.
I'm Ant out.
you know who it is?
It's mate corleone, you rockingwith trenches.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
The trophies podcast, tune in we live all right, so
don't mind all these giggling uh, negroids in the background.
Y'all welcome back to trenchesthe trophies.
We're so background.
Y'all.
Welcome back to Trenches, toTrophies.
We're so glad that y'alldecided to come and listen and
press play wherever you're at,on Apple Podcasts, spotify
(00:32):
Podcasts or some other randomwebsite Maybe Google Podcasts,
something like that.
Right, we appreciate y'alltuning in with us.
Today we're going to talk aboutsome really, really important
things and we're going to startwith forgiveness.
Right Now let's talk aboutwe're going to talk about a few
different things on today, y'all, but I want to start it off
(00:52):
light.
So, like y'all ever hadsomebody who like ate your food
at work and then like pissed youoff or some shit like that,
yeah.
Like I want you to think aboutit Because, bro, I feel like we
can get deep real easy.
Speaker 3 (01:02):
I feel like this nigga did a direct shot.
Speaker 2 (01:03):
Let's start with something light bro he did a
direct shot.
Hey look as a matter of fact,I'm going to start real light.
It ain't even just at.
It is so, and my boy?
So I got a particular brotherover here who has a son and we
used to live together.
Right, I remember this oneparticular night, bro, I had
stopped at the gas station andgot this 32-ounce slushie.
(01:25):
And it was amazing, bro, I hadit mixed the right way, had the
flavors the way I wanted, and mynephew had jumped up on, linked
up on the counter, grabbed mycup, bro, when I got back to it
I had all of three swallows leftin that thing.
Bro, I was hurt bro I was hurt,bro, because it was at a time
where, boy, it wasn't mobilelike that.
Speaker 1 (01:44):
Where was that?
Speaker 2 (01:45):
at?
No, I think it was, and it wasquick, bro.
It was like I think I wentoutside or something to do
something and you might havewent to the bathroom.
It was like a real quicksituation.
So, bro, probably was likewatching that mug, like as soon
(02:09):
as he put it in.
Yeah, crazy, because he's noteven the type to get into
nothing.
Yeah, and he wasn't the kind ofbaby he was there.
But I think it was a mix oflike admiration, right like you,
like that's drink that looklike it's fire.
You know what I'm saying.
But then it's also a sugarydrink.
He probably knew it was aslushy, you know what I'm saying
he probably seen all themcolors, all them flavors yeah,
yeah, he's like I'll get thatall the time, let me see what's
up.
But no, that was, that was aneasy piece to forgive.
I was hurt, though I was likecome on, nephew dog, like dang
my whole slushy cut like thewhole thing with me.
Speaker 3 (02:33):
I'm gonna keep it because y'all already know what
happened.
I'm gonna, so I ain't gonna dothe long end for this.
You know what I'm saying fortime.
But yes, somebody has drunk mystuff before.
It's just like the movieBarbershop.
I work in the shop and thisindividual drunk my juice.
It's like who drunk my applejuice.
He drunk my juice, bro, youknow what I'm saying.
(02:55):
So he paid me some money.
But it was just a principle,the respect thing, that you just
thought it was cool for you togo in there and drink my you
know what I'm saying juice andjust gonna give me some money
and thought it was just gonna besweet.
So we had a conversation, hehad, we had an understanding and
that was it, and I let it gonow how to understand.
It happened right hey, look likeI said you trying to get fresh,
(03:19):
yeah, fresh, yeah, hey look, Ijust said come outside, we gonna
chop it up.
And so he was hesitant To comeoutside At first, but he came
outside.
We talked, talked about it asmen, that was it.
Okay.
I broke it down to him In a waythat he could Be able to
understand, so that's how I gaveit to him, that's how I served.
Speaker 2 (03:38):
But get, bro.
It's kudos though, bro, causewe live in a time when a lot of
men Can't take that type ofconversation or that type of
confrontation.
You know what I'm saying.
So, right, he get richfollowers, cause a lot of cats
Would've got checked like thatand needed retribution.
You know what I meanImmediately.
Immediately Right, would'vebeen on some Some other stuff.
Speaker 3 (03:55):
Over some juice.
Speaker 2 (03:57):
Brut side down Over yo, juice Over, yeah, over
something that hey man, it thatthey do.
Speaker 3 (04:00):
Hey man, it was Calypso man.
It was Calypso and my blueberrylemonade.
One man and the Henny.
Speaker 2 (04:05):
Hook.
You know that's off limits.
Don't touch my.
Speaker 3 (04:07):
Calypso, they're in a mystic.
Speaker 2 (04:08):
Especially you, because you can't get that every
day.
Bro, that ain't no quick littledrink.
I can go get that ain't no,arizona TV.
Speaker 1 (04:19):
You ain't going, you get chopped in your throat for a
.
Speaker 3 (04:21):
Mystic bro, it's just mixes don't even taste the same
.
No more, Bro.
Nothing tastes the same, nomore.
Speaker 1 (04:27):
They watered down Bro .
Have y'all tasted a Sunny Dlately?
Speaker 2 (04:31):
Disgusting.
No, bro, I haven't, I ain'tgonna lie, I haven't.
Oh, my God, bro, I haveHawaiian Punch.
I have, though, whew, prettymuch the same.
Yeah, bro now.
Yeah, I mean, but I think it'sour taste buds, the regular
anyway, Like I feel like theflavor ones is alright, but like
the regular the trash.
I think it's our taste buds too.
Speaker 1 (04:49):
It's us, you know.
We grown, we've tasted bettershit and we rather go taste.
Oh, I said taste, we rather godrink that shit you Tampico
Nigga, but you can Now you cansee that it's Very cheap and
full of sugar.
Speaker 2 (05:08):
Yeah, you know what I'm saying, but it's bad, it's
bad for you and it's like it'snot good, bro.
They be trying to Package youdifferent.
Now, bro, I got a picture OnFacebook From like 12 years ago
With the Tampico juice Crazy Inthe mall, bro, randomly, it's
crazy so.
Speaker 3 (05:23):
I'm gonna tell you, has anybody Ate your stuff or
Drank your stuff In theworkplace or at the crib that
you valued?
Speaker 2 (05:32):
Right, that pissed you off.
Speaker 3 (05:33):
Yeah, that you really you couldn't wait to Dig into,
you feel me, they know better.
Speaker 1 (05:42):
At the crib.
You know, I don't really tripoff Nothing at home.
If they eat it, it is what itis.
Speaker 2 (05:48):
But at work things, no, never, never you ain't never
had a homie like walking yourcrib, drink your last vest soda,
and then that was in the cribnah bro hey like never bro, like
even if it was on accident, browas like.
Speaker 1 (06:03):
Oh bro, when I think about it, like I can't really
picture Uh or remember aspecific, that's cause this
nigga.
Speaker 3 (06:13):
Had a pack of cookies and somebody ate some Of his
cookies.
He just didn't even know it.
Speaker 1 (06:18):
Yeah, but if I ain't know it, then I ain't trip off
of it.
Speaker 2 (06:20):
Y'all been saying, yeah, bro, got gotten, didn't
trip.
Speaker 1 (06:22):
But nah, if like say, for instance, like my mom, my
mom had a boyfriend and he wasliterally old dude from Baby Boy
bruh.
Except he wasn't that, you know, gangster.
You know, yeah, he wasn't thatstreet.
So check this out, Paint thatpicture.
(06:43):
I can remember, yeah, but itwas him, I had him in there.
Speaker 3 (06:50):
Like, oh man Come on.
Speaker 1 (06:55):
Hey, let him go, let him go, nah, nah, nah.
Rip to him, though.
He passed away, but but, butanyway, I can.
Yes, he has, but I was probablyin my early my, my late teens,
you know what I'm saying.
So I had to go to my mom and,like you know, he, taking my
(07:17):
stuff, like you know what I'msaying, eat my stuff or whatever
you know.
But hell, no, not another adult, fuck.
No, like my cousin, that niggaused to go down and wear my
clothes.
Now, that used to piss me off.
Not no drink.
So if you put it in thatcategory, yes, like, and I
(07:37):
caught his ass one time Because,look, I was going out, it was
me and my wife.
We were going to what's his name, wife.
We were going to ChrisetteMichelle.
We went to a Chrisette Michelleshow and on the way down there
we left something.
(07:57):
So I'm like, damn, we're goingto be late.
So I bust the U-turn and droveall the way back hella fast.
So wasn't nobody there at first.
But now all these motherfuckersin here, they having a little
party and shit, and this niggagot on my pants which ones?
Speaker 3 (08:14):
I say eight, cuz which ones.
Speaker 1 (08:17):
There was probably some Levi's back then.
But you know what I'm saying.
I was moving.
You know what I'm the uh, thisthe part of my life where I was
leaving my dad's house after thelittle situation and I was
staying around the corner at mycousin's house and I packed all
my shit up but it was in like alittle tote.
So you mean to tell me you wentthrough my shit and found my
(08:40):
levi's that you like and wentput the motherfuckers on.
Yeah, hey, cuz, take them off.
And he went put themmotherfuckers on.
Yeah, hey, cuz, take them off.
And he went and took themmotherfuckers off and didn't say
shit.
But you already know.
Speaker 2 (08:50):
Damn Like that.
Come on cuz.
Yeah, you know when a niggastraight dead silent, though
it's like all right, yeah, he orwhat.
Speaker 1 (09:02):
you ain't gonna take my man, I'm gonna take the
motherfuckers off because wegonna be banging.
Speaker 2 (09:05):
But I feel like that's a perfect situation
though, because because clothesis just as important.
Speaker 3 (09:08):
We gotta talk about it bro.
We gotta talk about it bro nohe ain't that type bro.
Speaker 1 (09:12):
I know, I know, cuz went and took him off because he
would have banged with me aboutit you know what I'm saying.
I was about to say that's mylittle cousin.
It's my little cousin, but Iknow he would have stood on it.
But he know me too, like man.
Them my pants, bro.
Take them, motherfuckers, outbro.
Come on, man you know damn well,bro, if you would and he know
(09:35):
me, bro, like you know damn wellIf I would If you would have
been like you know what I meanLike come on, bro, but like you
said, at the end of the day it'sjust because he didn't ask.
Speaker 3 (09:44):
Yeah, principal bro, got too comfortable, bro.
Respect.
Speaker 2 (09:47):
But I feel like a lot of people do that, like that's
usually when People fuck up yeah, right, you know what I'm
saying.
They get too comfortable inyour life.
Then they do some dumb shit and, instead of coming to apologize
, they either try to sweep itunder the rug and keep and keep
pushing yeah, or niggas willghost you and disappear.
So whether they owe you somebread, right, mm-hmm?
(10:07):
Or they just wronged you in away you know what I'm saying
Messed with your chick, or youknow what I'm saying Was messing
.
Maybe he was messing with theops, or something like that.
Speaker 3 (10:17):
How long did it take until you forgave him for it?
Was it instantly?
Until you forgave him for it?
Was it instantly?
Speaker 1 (10:22):
Yeah, like instantly.
Like it was even a time wherehis brother, like we was joking
back and forth, me and himalways joned, and it was his
birthday the day after mine, sowe close, you know.
So we got to argue Well, notarguing, but it kind of went
(10:43):
into like play to argue and thenbro got mad.
So I was walking out the door,bro punched me.
I'm like damn, and we thatclose, he knew that was fucked
up, you know what I'm saying.
And later he apologized.
But those are the type ofsituations where it's like I
didn't immediately forgive himwith the pants, I was like
(11:07):
that's some petty shit, I don'tcare about that.
Speaker 2 (11:10):
But and you still went, took him up.
Like you know what I'm sayinglike I even I respected that.
Speaker 1 (11:15):
He respected me enough to go take the
motherfuckers off and with nobig issue and shit.
Um, but my cousin who punchedme and shit, I was like like
damn, I'm like you know, eventhough it got a little rad, I
didn't even got into it with hisdaddy that day because he was.
I was like nigga, y'all got mefucked up.
You know what I'm saying like.
But I went back around to mypop's crib and shit, sat there,
(11:36):
talked to my other cousins andshit.
Like Mason came around thereand was like cuz.
He said he was he's sorry, cuz,like he.
You know, I'm saying like itwas in the moment, bro, like.
So I went back over there andtalked to him but for a while I
was like I want my lick back Iwant to sock the shit out of you
, bro like but yeah, now I feellike that's good.
(12:00):
But now you know what I'm sayingI don't know, I don't know how
long it took for that to pass,but you know, I forgave him for
it because it was once they toldme how he felt.
Yeah, and he told me because mybad, you know what I'm saying
and we shook it up.
It's never been a situationlike that, ever again.
But for that to happen, it waskind of like shocking, you know,
(12:23):
and like one of us, we want ourlick back.
You feel me Like bruh, let mepunch you please one time, like
nah, bro.
Speaker 2 (12:32):
Fuck, you got going on, bro.
I feel like, but what you thinkthat's?
You think it's just adisrespect, or you feel like
it's deeper than that.
Speaker 1 (12:42):
You feel like it's like sadness or heartbreak.
Speaker 2 (12:43):
You know what you mean.
Because like what, what leadsyou to the point where you feel
like you gotta hold on to thatshit for a minute?
Like what makes you feel likeyou gotta get your lick back.
Is it because you feel likethat nigga one-upped you, or is
it just because?
You feel like a nigga hurt you.
Speaker 1 (12:55):
You know what I'm saying so you feel like you want
to hurt that motherfucker?
Nah, okay for me.
For me and and bruh said,Unique said this before it
depends on how bad you cut me,and for me it's how close you
are to me and how you cut me.
Speaker 3 (13:14):
I was just going to ask you that because do you
think it hurt more when yourfamily do something?
Speaker 1 (13:21):
more disrespectful than your close partner.
You know what I'm saying?
Yes, it cut deeper.
Yes, absolutely, and I don'twant to keep going on these
stories, bro, but my y'all knowmy cousin that I just had got
into a situation with bro.
It hurt.
But this is a question that Iwould ask both of y'all now,
(13:44):
when somebody do something toyou that you already feel like
they done hurt you before, doesit hurt a little less afterwards
?
You?
Speaker 2 (13:53):
feel me like I think it depends, bro like there are
definitely people in my life whohave patterns, who I recognize
like they gonna do shit likethat yeah you know, I'm saying
like it's also depend on howdeep it is.
Speaker 3 (14:06):
You know, I'm saying like you didn't put a pass on.
Speaker 2 (14:09):
You expected a kind of yeah, yeah, like, because
some people they teach you whothey are, bro, you gotta watch
what they do so you put trust inthem, or you, you know you
expect them to be different thanwhat they are.
Yeah, that's on you.
But for other people who, like,act out of character in a way,
that's where it fucked me up.
It's like that ain't even likeyou, like I ain't expect that
(14:30):
from you.
You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (14:31):
I see my cousins the type that I kind of expected it.
But you know, I put it inperspective.
Where you have a person thatdid all this shit but has now
grown it shows that they'vegrown, you know what I'm saying
Like damn bro, like I'm fuckingwith you bro, like yeah, you
(14:52):
know what I'm saying, and thenthey go revert back to that
person again.
That's the type of shit.
It hurt a little bit.
Speaker 3 (15:01):
It's almost betrayal.
Speaker 1 (15:02):
Yeah, Now that I ain't going to say it hurt, but
it kind of pissed me off Becauseyou feel like it's malicious.
Yeah, and so I can't forgivethat.
You know what I'm saying.
I ain't going to lie.
Speaker 2 (15:13):
That's one of them situations that you got to be
real specific with, because forme, when you were talking, I
heard they betrayed themselvesmore than they betrayed you.
They came from a point wherethey said I'm gonna grow to this
point that take dedication,that take intentionality, that
take focus.
So they grew from one point toanother point to be able to
convince you that they was adifferent, a different person.
(15:34):
Yeah, so for them to go back tosome shit.
What happened?
Because that's what I want toknow what was the triggering
incident that would have led tothem going back to that decision
?
Speaker 1 (15:43):
um you know some shit , some shit.
That's always separated all ofus.
That it's, it's entitlement, broyeah like he feels like that
his house should be like anairbnb or something.
But you know situations in ourfamily ain't gonna let that
(16:06):
happen.
You know what I'm saying and mymom has dealt with a lot.
I don't really think he reallytaking that into account, yeah,
and then so he lashed out at mymom.
But I wanted from myperspective yeah, I talked to
him maybe a week before.
I said, hey, cuz man, we cuzman.
We was talking about trust andstuff like that.
And he was like man, do youtrust me?
(16:26):
I was like damn right.
I said, man, you one of theones that never disrespected my
mom, you ain't never did thisblah, blah, blah, blah blah.
And for you to go disrespect mymom like two weeks later, bro,
you owe me a fade, bro, likeseriously, bro.
Speaker 2 (16:41):
I feel that, though I agree with that.
Speaker 1 (16:43):
So can I forgive that Hell?
Nah, like I really can't, likeI can't, even when I get my lick
back and I don't even feel likeI don't even feel like I really
wanna, even Like I be talking alot of shit, right, yeah, I
wanna throw hands on all thisshit, but really, bruh, I don't
want no dealings with you Forthe rest of my life.
Bruh, that's it bro.
Speaker 2 (17:04):
Different bro.
Peace is the goal.
You know what I'm saying?
Speaker 1 (17:06):
Yeah, I don't really want to throw hands when I see
you and blah, blah, blah,because what my mom, my mom, she
said I can forgive him, I canmove forward.
So if that's the case, it'sjust like if your mom had a
boyfriend and he beating her upand she keep putting them out
but keep letting them back in.
You don't want to keep dealingwith that.
So okay, if you want to dealwith that, that's cool.
(17:28):
But me, fuck, no, I'm done withthat shit.
You feel?
Speaker 2 (17:32):
me.
I mean, it's a position you gotto take in life.
But I agree with that right,because eventually you're going
to get to forgiveness and Idifferent people got different
paths to take, because there'scertain people who you may
forgive a hell of a lot easierfor the same action, just
because of who they are, right,like the character that they
have.
You know what I'm saying.
But my question to y'all is howdo you get to that point,
(17:54):
regardless of who it is or whatit is that they do to you?
What's your process offorgiveness like?
What do you need to have?
What's in your recipe book?
Like, like for me, real quick,you gotta it's gotta be
acknowledgement.
That's one thing for me I know.
Gotta be there we gottaacknowledge what the fuck
happened yeah, like you can't bedancing around it like but I
(18:14):
love you, I promise I'm gonnalike, yeah, all that's cool, but
we need to acknowledge what thefuck happened so we know what
the recipe is, what, whattriggered this, what made you go
here, what made you do this,and then then we could dance
around the rest of that shit alittle bit later.
Like that's for me, what abouty'all?
Speaker 3 (18:30):
I was gonna say, like , I think it depends on if the
goal is to reconcile, um, butthat's a good question.
It's circumstantial.
For me, man, like I've said, itdepends on how deep you cut me.
So, me personally, if somebodydo something dirt to me you know
what I'm saying it's certainlines that I can't let it be
(18:53):
crossed.
Yeah, yeah, but for mepersonally, but if you hurt
somebody that's closer to me,it's static like forever.
Yeah, you know what I'm saying.
So I'm real territorial with mypeoples, you know I'm saying so
.
I'm very protected in that, inthat realm.
Speaker 2 (19:09):
So if you hurt one of them, it's it's, it's what hurt
or remotely even threat bothman the exact I think it's the
legitimacy of the threat too,though, like if you feel like
somebody really gonna try to dosomething, or you feel like they
capable of actually doingsomething, it's like, alright,
no, I gots to, I gots to puthands on you, cause you out of
(19:30):
line.
Speaker 1 (19:30):
Alright, now I'm just gonna challenge you.
Now I'm gonna challenge you.
What if this person is not intheir right mind, even if you
solely believe that they were intheir right mind?
Speaker 2 (19:47):
What if they weren't?
Speaker 1 (19:49):
What if they were, what if they just were?
Speaker 3 (19:53):
you know, because some people just be wigging out
and be out of their minds Ifthey did something to me and at
that time they weren't in theirright mind, and that's going off
my perception Of.
If I perceive it that way, Igotta be able to interpret it.
You know what I'm saying In themoment.
Speaker 1 (20:11):
So and also it depends on Can't nobody just
tell you that shit Like he's,huh, like.
Can't nobody just tell you Likeoh, he's.
Speaker 3 (20:19):
Nah hell nah Boy nah.
Cause you Nah Like can't nobodyjust tell you like oh, he's,
he's Nah hell nah Boy nah,because you nah what, you get
them to print it out.
Speaker 2 (20:23):
Nigga, nigga like no, no, look, I got.
I got.
The doctor said I'm fucked up.
Speaker 3 (20:29):
The doctor said I'm fucked up.
Speaker 2 (20:31):
Look, no wait, let me pull up my chart.
Nigga, why you putting up mychart?
You getting smacked.
I'm a holler Bro, see, I needverification.
Speaker 3 (20:40):
Do you?
Speaker 1 (20:40):
got a blue check, nigga.
Speaker 2 (20:42):
Do you got a blue check?
Speaker 1 (20:44):
And don't bring no truck, because he's probably
going to think you got a weaponYou're going to beat your ass.
Speaker 2 (20:49):
Nigga triggered.
Speaker 3 (20:51):
Yes, bro, don't get to tweet you like that, bro.
But no, go ahead, go ahead.
Like I said, for me it could becircumstantial man and I have
honestly selective forgiveness.
Yeah, you can call it is whatit is.
Yeah, yeah, but I'm working onall that.
I'm getting to a place whereI'm trying to be more forgiving,
be more empathetic witheverybody, so, but just please
(21:15):
stay over there with the BS.
You know what I'm saying?
I'm cool PSA.
Speaker 2 (21:18):
PSA.
Speaker 1 (21:22):
Stay over there with the BS.
That goes for all people andall things.
Speaker 2 (21:24):
Stay over there.
Speaker 3 (21:25):
With the BS?
Yeah, but why?
Speaker 1 (21:28):
So I'm going to go into this Real shit.
Like why is it so hard toforgive someone who hurt you
though?
Like because even when I goback and talk to my Talk about
my cousin or my dad or anythingLike that, it took me a long
time To forgive my dad, yeah,but for my cousin Bruh, I am
throwing up barriers, like Idon't wanna Forgive him, bruh.
(21:51):
Like so why is it so hard ForFor People you know To forgive
people?
Speaker 3 (22:00):
That hurt them.
Speaker 1 (22:00):
You tell me this.
Speaker 3 (22:01):
Do you think people you know to forgive people that
hurt them?
You tell me this.
Do you think it hurt worsebecause of the fact that him
saying did he say he never puthands on your mother, or you
identified that?
Speaker 1 (22:14):
No, he never put you talking about my cousin.
No, he never put hands on her.
Speaker 3 (22:18):
No, no, no, no, no.
I'm saying, but you broughtthat up, or you brought that up
committing him like Neverdisrespecting your mom, stuff
like that, yeah.
So I think it's because youbrought that up and y'all talked
about it and then in a shortperiod of time it done happening
.
Speaker 2 (22:31):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (22:31):
So that's where the betrayal lie for you, because
yeah, it's ultimate betrayal.
It's just what was talked about.
Speaker 2 (22:38):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (22:38):
I think If he would've done it before and
y'all didn't talk about it, itwouldn't be to this level, I
think, because y'all spoke on itand then it turned around and
it just happened like that.
Yeah, it's like we just talkedabout this, bro.
Yeah, you know what.
I'm saying so.
I think that's what it is Withyou.
You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (22:57):
Yeah, cause I feel like if we wouldn't have talked
about it before, I feel like afade would have justified it and
we would have moved on type ofshit.
Speaker 3 (23:05):
You know what I'm saying.
Like, yeah, you'redisrespecting my mom, but that's
what all it be taking for me.
Yeah, nigga, look, I ain'tgonna lie.
I what I'm saying.
Speaker 2 (23:17):
But that's what all it would have been, and that was
it, but I think that I thinkyou should take it deeper than
that, though, cause I don'tthink it has to do with the
exchange of that.
It's the release of that shit.
You know what I'm saying?
Like that's what it really is.
You needed to release it.
Speaker 1 (23:29):
Yeah, cause I mean.
But but see, when I explainedit to him, it like I felt like I
was being and I don't likebeing especially on crew, you
know, and I'm like wait a minute.
And that's kind of why I waslike, look, if this was street
(23:50):
like, this is what I would havedone.
And he was like, okay, I get ityou know, it makes more sense.
Yeah, you know.
Speaker 2 (23:56):
But we were playing monopoly and monopoly gets a
little intense all the time, butI think y'all dancing around to
answer to your question, though, and, like you, literally,
y'all literally just answered it.
It's the reason why it's sohard for us to forgive people is
because it makes it seem likethat's okay, like what they did
was okay to us.
Yeah, and we won't.
Hey, this was a violation.
Yeah, no, like we won't.
(24:17):
That's what I was saying aboutacknowledgement.
Speaker 3 (24:19):
Like you got to sit down with me and let me know
what's going on Like you ain'tfinna, just skirt pass If it's a
conversation, if it's a levelof understanding at the end of
the day, two men can sit downand we could disagree.
As long as I can identify.
Oh, that's what you wasthinking, you understand what.
I was thinking oh, now youunderstand what I was thinking.
Okay, all right, but now thatwe know that this is the way we
think, we can't do that no more.
Speaker 1 (24:41):
Yeah, and he wanted to talk to me about it.
I just I'm not willing to,because you owe my mom a
conversation, not me.
You feel me and then like youalso for giving, like for giving
a motherfucker, like sometimesyou have to get it out, like
(25:02):
y'all saying you got to get itout, like y'all saying you gotta
get it out to them, but I ain't, I ain't there, bro, yeah, I
ain't there.
Speaker 3 (25:06):
It's cool, cause that's the answer Ant's question
that he have for us earlier.
That's one of my things too.
It's time.
Yeah, you know what I'm saying?
It's gonna take time times.
You know they had'm saying it'sgoing to take time.
Times.
You know they had the sayingtimes heal our wounds.
I'm a little iffy with thatRight.
I think time can break down thewounds to be able to heal.
(25:29):
You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 2 (25:30):
It gives you the opportunity to do it.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (25:33):
I get you.
Speaker 2 (25:33):
What about you, though?
I agree with that stuff, man.
I like everything that y'allsaid.
I think for me, um, forgivenesshas always been about like me,
like I ain't never been one ofthe people like when it comes to
relationships and shit, likethey're like, maintaining them
has always been a struggle forme, like I'm real good at
starting them like I'm a realgood first impression guy like
(25:55):
you know what I'm saying like.
but as far as like maintainingrelationships over time because
I never really like understoodthe inner workings of that Even
with my wife, she'd be on thesecalls with her family and
everybody talking about theirday and there'd be too much
going on.
They'd be overstimulated, bro.
I'd be like, all right, I can'tdeal with it.
But I think when it comes towhen I've been wronged, I don't
(26:16):
let people close to me like that.
So if I feel like you wrongedme, I feel like like that hit me
real deep, you know, I meanbecause it's already in the
circle.
I'm all.
I'm like.
You already made it past allthese other things.
You know what I'm saying.
So for me it kind of that.
That pains me in a way, but noteven that like I'm real vocal
to people I care about as far aslike my boundaries and I got a
(26:36):
lot of them, so it's like youknow mean.
So it's like when you hit onone they strike a chord with me
because I'm like we had thisconversation.
You know what I mean.
So I be feeling like it'sintentional, not necessarily
malicious, like you were sayingearlier, but just like did you
just not give a fuck?
Or like what were you doing?
You know what I mean.
Like where was you at?
But I think that's the wholepoint of forgiveness.
(26:58):
For me it's just letting go oflike the anger part of it.
We don't necessarily have toreconcile, which I think is a
whole other step, but I'm just,I'm not mad, no more, and that's
how I know like I'm there.
Speaker 3 (27:09):
You know what I'm saying.
You mean to be able to moveforward.
Yeah, you don't be resentful?
Yeah for sure.
The goal is to move forward.
Going to prevent you frommoving forward?
I ain't got time for that bro,that shit heavy bro.
Speaker 2 (27:20):
Yeah, like that's the thing, like you think about it,
because we could also talkabout, like what happens in a
situation where you choose notto, because there's also
situations I don't know abouty'all.
There's situations where thereare people unfortunately and
it's been you know years wherethey just it's when I think
about it.
That ain't necessarily the mostcomfortable situation I want to
be in when I think about saidperson or said situation.
(27:41):
So, like how y'all deal withthat?
Because that's a weight tooright, because every time
something reminds you of it thatcould bring back emotions or
you know I'm saying thoughts.
Speaker 3 (27:50):
I'm not gonna let nobody dictate how I like move,
because I feel like that's gonnabe giving them power over me
you feel?
Speaker 2 (27:57):
do you honestly feel like that, though?
Do you feel like there's nobodyin the world who could like do
something and they like put youin that mode because I, I can't?
I could be honest, like when itcome to my wife, when it come
to like I got a lot of femalesin my family.
When it come to certain things,those are triggering incidents
where it's like I have toliterally weigh in my head
whether I'm gonna let my crazyout and go to jail or, like, let
this play out like.
Speaker 3 (28:18):
You know what I'm saying.
I'm not in a place.
I'm not in a place anymore If Ienter the room and I see you
and I crash out.
Yeah, yeah, I'm not in a placeanymore To do that.
Like I said, I'm going to seeyou Analyze the situation.
Can we come outside, or I'mgoing to catch you again.
You know what I'm saying, butwhat you mean by come outside.
Speaker 2 (28:34):
You mean Like.
You mean like square up withthem.
They got to go, all right, butthat's what I guess that's what
I mean too.
I don't mean like necessarily,like trip out, but I mean like
it's going to be a problem, likebecause, even if it's a calm,
problem.
Speaker 3 (28:46):
It's a problem.
You know what I'm saying.
Like I said, it depends what itis.
Speaker 2 (28:54):
Because I'm going to sit there and probably try to
talk at in your life that youdon't rock with and you ain't
rock with them for five, tenyears.
Whatever the case is, how youdeal with that like because you
carrying it around becauseobviously something may remind
you of you, might see a facebookpost, somebody might be like,
oh, they asked about you.
Whatever the case is, however,you might have been tied to them
, or it could be a situationwith somebody you ain't rock
with a long time, and then yousee them or they around, or
(29:15):
somebody tell you that theycoming to kick it at your crib
and you it just that instantfire, y'all don't have nobody
like that.
Like that's that it's literallythat instant fire they talking
about.
Oh, this, this person, finna,come over, or this person, finna
, pull up.
You know what I'm saying.
Think about, think about thosesituations.
Are there like because thoseare people who need to be
forgiven on the front end?
absolutely but obviously that'ssomething you carrying around.
(29:37):
But how do you carry that shitaround or do you just
compartmentalize?
You took that shit in the backpocket, yeah or is it?
Something you stew on from timeto time, like, yeah, if I catch
that motherfucker, it's a wrap.
Speaker 1 (29:46):
I tell, I usually tell people and and I don't want
to, you know, make it like I'mcrazy or anything but I, I, I
envision a little door in my, inmy, the basement of my brain,
where I keep all my shit.
You know what I'm saying, theshit that I don't really want to
address until it's time.
I mean that's where I put theshit, because my kids don't
(30:11):
deserve the energy that I needto give somebody else.
So you got a little red doortype shit.
Speaker 2 (30:16):
You got a little like yeah.
Speaker 1 (30:18):
You know what I'm saying?
I'm dead ass.
That's what people say.
Like you got a little.
Like you know what I'm saying Alittle dough down there, I'm
dead ass.
I mean that's what people say,like psychology they be like.
Speaker 2 (30:24):
they got a little, like a little red door or a
little black door where, likethey hide shit away, they just
popping up.
Speaker 1 (30:30):
Hey, it just might be that.
Speaker 2 (30:33):
That's how my shit is .
You know, it's just raw.
Speaker 1 (30:36):
Like it's kind of like, when the time comes and I
need to address that, yeah, yeah, I'm going to go down that
motherfucker quietly, I'm goingto unlock that motherfucker and
I'm going to bring that shitwith me.
That's all it's going to take.
Like, of course I have, I ain'tgoing to say I have that many
people that you know, I havethat type of feeling for Right,
(30:57):
right, right.
But yeah, you know, I, I canactually say, yeah, that and I
and I and I put that away untilthe time comes because, like you
told me before that I'vealready forgiven this person.
But in my mind, like when I didforgive this person and I went
in for that hug and they didn'thug me back, I kind of went back
(31:21):
again like oh, okay you realize.
Speaker 2 (31:25):
But like, I think that's a part of like, I think
that's the whole reconciliation,part of it, right, like that's
that's when we start gettinginto like trying to repair the
relationship and trying to likeget back on good terms.
I don't think everybodydeserves that.
I think everybody deservesforgiveness because technically,
that affects you.
You know what I'm saying.
It's really for you and yoursanity and your peace, but I
think everybody deservesforgiveness.
(31:45):
Everybody don't deserve to be apart of your life after that
though.
Okay, you know what I'm sayinglike, I feel like personally,
like you could let it go and belike all right, because there's
a bunch of people in my lifelike that.
I let it go, we good, I ain'tgot no issues with you, but will
I trust you, will?
I want you around me, will wego kick it?
Will you get any type of invitefrom me?
Hell, no, so that's just,that's just how I'm moving.
(32:06):
But there's only one person inmy life that's like that's got
that fire and just there's aparticular individual who
touched my mama in a particulartype of way.
That's the only person.
I'm reserving anything for.
Everybody else in my life Iain't got nothing, nothing for.
But that's.
That's the one thing they, likeyou've pretty much forgiven
everybody bro, I've matured to apoint where I understand that
(32:27):
everything that happenedhappened to me for a reason,
like especially for mydevelopment to be where I'm at.
Whether it's a story, I couldtell somebody else to help them
out, or just help me figure someshit out in my own life.
You know, know what I'm saying.
It just I realized that now,like it's just, I don't really
trip up that.
Speaker 3 (32:44):
You know what I'm saying.
At what point can you get to beready to reconcile with an
individual that you have forgavefor something they've done to
you?
Speaker 2 (32:56):
or somebody else.
That's easy, that's the easypart.
All you got to do is do ananalysis, bro.
You got easy, that's the easypart.
All you gotta do is do ananalysis, bro.
You gotta look and see if y'allare aligned.
Be something that, uh monte,then we've talked about before.
When you talk about like people,especially people that's been
in your life for a long time, orlike people that you knew from
way back when, and you reconnectwith them, y'all are different
people than y'all were at thatparticular point in time.
So you gotta reassess to seeare y'all still aligned?
(33:17):
Do y'all still have things incommon?
Do you still?
You know, I'm saying, can youbenefit from this relationship
in any type of way?
And then you could think aboutmoving forward.
For me, there's people I had todo that with and there's people
I no longer talk to, who I love.
You know, I'm saying I got love, for I want their kids to be
great, I want all of that forthem, but I can't interact with
them on a daily basis because itdidn't bring any fruits to my
(33:39):
life and I knew for theirdevelopment they needed to be
away from me.
Speaker 1 (33:42):
Yeah, you know, I'm saying, that's just so you feel?
Speaker 3 (33:45):
like go ahead, go ahead montay.
Speaker 1 (33:47):
no, I was saying I feel that because, like, like
kind of reverse, yeah, one of mypartners, you know, he really
kind of got to forgive himself.
You know I've done so much forhim to where it's like I don't,
I don't feel bad, but he thinkthat he did something wrong.
So, you know, when people stoptalking to you, because the last
(34:08):
time I remember I gave him somelittle, like I cashed up on him
some little amount of money, itwasn't nothing, life changing.
Speaker 2 (34:17):
You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (34:18):
Nothing, it was a little nothing.
It was to help him get home.
You know what I'm saying.
Nothing, it was a littlenothing.
It was to help him get home.
You know what I'm saying.
But he was in a situation thatsomebody that I used to fuck
with, that I was real close withI used to fuck with bro a lot,
you know what I'm saying.
But he got into a situationwith him and he was end up
walking, you know what I'msaying.
So he asked me for some cash orwhatever to get him home and
then, um, he was like I'm gonnapay you back.
(34:40):
I was like, bro, you don't haveto pay me back, pay me back by
not putting yourself in themsituations anymore, all right.
So I don't think he's everforgiven himself to that point
where he like, damn, like Ithink he gonna pop back up when
he doing better in life I wasjust gonna say that, bro.
Speaker 2 (34:57):
It's the shame of life, bro, especially when
somebody check you like that.
They, they, you put boundariesin place.
That's exactly what it was.
You put a boundary in place tolet cat know this ain't okay and
he he stayed away instead ofcoming around to keep fucking up
and keep.
You know, I'm saying steppingover your boundary.
He respected that.
You set that motherfucker anddecided not to deal with you.
Yeah, I rock with people likethat because you knew you wasn't
(35:19):
going to be able to respectwhat I got going on.
So, instead of being like arebellious force in my life and
I always got to come check youin and put my hands out you just
going to dismiss yourself.
You know what I ain't bringingshit to, bro, life right now.
Let me stay the fuck over here.
You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (35:33):
I fuck with that, that's my nigga.
And that's my nigga dog.
Speaker 2 (35:42):
Like he's solid but he also was one of the people
who depleted the homie fund thefirst time, which is a side note
, which is exactly why we got toput some parameters on that
bitch.
That's why I'm saying likebecause I would want to do it
like a lottery.
You know what I'm saying.
Have people write in or say whythey would need it, or put
their reasons in, and then wepull some shit from a hat or
spin a wheel or some shit.
You know what I'm?
Speaker 1 (35:59):
saying Cause, then that way it's like some
stipulations and shit to it.
Speaker 2 (36:03):
Just a shameless plug .
Niggas love our podcast namebrought to you by no, I'm just
playing Nah, but I had to.
I had to cut the tension, bro,we was getting dark and I I want
to appreciate the fact that allof us have had situations where
we've had to forgive people ormay still be.
You know what I'm saying,working through some forgiveness
, because the whole point ofthis podcast is to tell people
(36:24):
like, yeah, we may have been inthe trenches, shit, but some of
us still are in certainsituations in our life and we
trying to work through that.
You know what I mean.
So I want to make sure that wewas talking through our process
because, a nigga like me, Idefinitely be having an issue
with forgiving people at sometimes, but at the same time, I
think I have a pretty goodconcept in my brain of what the
fuck is supposed to happenduring that process.
(36:44):
Yeah, you know what?
Speaker 1 (36:45):
I'm saying it's hard though, bro, it's hard as hell
it's a difference betweenknowledge and wisdom, bro.
Speaker 2 (36:50):
Knowledge is knowing what to do, wisdom is knowing
when to apply it.
So you gotta you know what I'msaying, you gotta be in that
situation I mean okay, so thiscould be a fun self-forgiveness.
Speaker 1 (37:04):
bro, have you felt like you've forgiven yourself
Because?
Speaker 2 (37:07):
look, I told y'all I don't feel like.
Speaker 1 (37:10):
I did anything wrong.
Speaker 2 (37:12):
And I think that's a beautiful outlook on life to
have.
But I also think that has a lotto do with how you grew up and
the weights that you normallycarried around life.
If you normally felt like youwere a pretty free person
growing up, then you probablygonna feel like that into
adulthood.
I carried unnecessary weightsthroughout childhood.
So growing up as a man, I'm I'mcarrying around unnecessary
weights.
There's I was talking to a boy,uh, bro, earlier and we was
(37:34):
talking about how, like how catselevated, coming from where we
come from, and you know, I meanmessing up opportunities and
being able to flip stuff on hishead.
But, bro, a lot of that is likejust perseverance, bro, we just
had to get up and keep doing it.
I didn't have an option.
I didn't have no like rolemodel to look at and like model
myself after.
I just had to like keep doingit until I figured out something
(37:54):
that worked.
And then I found something thatworked and I kept pressing it
from there.
You know what I'm saying.
So when it comes toself-forgiveness, I think about
like pressures I put on myselfand I just had to keep like,
think about, all right, putyourself in a different
situation, learn something new.
Learn something new and y'allknow I didn't have 18 different
types of job pathways and then Ifinally landed in somewhere.
I'm like all right, all right,this gonna work.
(38:15):
So for me it was just like keep, keep going, keep trying
something until you figure itout.
As far as like self-forgivenessgoes, just figuring it out bro.
Hey, but I was telling somebodyelse that bro, that's how I
learned, like trial and errorhas always been how I learned.
So when it kind of forgivingmyself, like I said, I credit
everything to being able tolearn from it like I learned.
(38:37):
I learned something from everyfailure I've ever had.
Every situation where I feellike I was down, bad I, I was
like, yep, all right, don't dothis, don't do this, don't
interact with them type ofpeople, blah, blah, blah, blah,
blah.
And then I'm at where I'm atnow.
Speaker 3 (38:47):
And that's the thing I was getting ready to say,
because I think at our age we'reat the point where we're
getting very good at identifyingwho's for us in our life, who's
supposed to probably remain.
That's real, you know what I'msaying.
And even if they did somethingto us, we know they probably
were still having a round, so wetrying to fix it.
(39:09):
You know what I'm saying.
So it's worth fixing andforgiving and reconciling.
Speaker 1 (39:15):
You know, I like that thought.
What thought?
The thought that he just had?
Because I'm not like that.
That thought, what thought thethought that he just had Because
I'm not like that, I don't.
I feel like Forgiveness got alot to do with Loyalty.
Speaker 2 (39:34):
Does it?
Yeah, what about if it'ssomebody?
Speaker 1 (39:36):
Cause it's my brother , but you don't know nothing.
You don't know nothing abouthim, like, like a cat that run
up on you at Walgreens and stayat your parking spot right when
you was finna pull in orsomething I can forgive that
that's nothing to forgive,because I ain't going to hop out
and whoop your ass.
What if he almost hit your?
Speaker 2 (39:50):
car, or your daughter , was like right there and he
pulled into a parking spot tooclose.
You're going to get a.
I'm putting you into a scenariowhere, like, because people are
going to test you, bro, youknow what I'm saying?
That's all I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (40:03):
That's fine, that's fine.
Speaker 3 (40:06):
All those situations.
You know he getting popped,Stop playing.
Man, look he playing Like Nahnigga.
You know we poppin' him, bro.
Speaker 2 (40:15):
We poppin' him Car ain't even all the way in the
park, nigga, as soon as you said, kill involved and almost hit
bro I ain't gonna shoot him.
Speaker 1 (40:25):
I ain't gonna shoot him, but look, I ain't gonna
shoot him, though I would dojust this Okay.
Kill that as soon as he park.
As soon as he parked.
As soon as he parked I ain'tgonna shoot him though, nigga.
As soon as he parked I'mparking right behind that,
motherfucker, like if.
Okay, so every situation thatyou said Got a different outcome
.
Speaker 2 (40:43):
You hear me Like.
You almost hit my car.
Speaker 1 (40:47):
Alright, i'ma walk behind your ass the whole time
in Walmart Until you walk outthat motherfucker Mugging your
ass Now, now.
Hey, it is what it is, I'm justshopping in Walmart until you
walk out that motherfuckermugging your ass.
Now, hey, it is what it is.
I'm just shopping in Walmart.
You see what I'm?
Saying I'm not even finished,just because.
I walk down every aisle he did.
Speaker 2 (41:07):
I still hey look, we got a similar shopping list.
What you want me to say, but noyou almost hit my kid bro.
Speaker 1 (41:14):
You almost hit my kid .
I deserve an explanation, andif you don't give me one, I'm
beating that ass Like flat thefuck out.
I don't play about my kids Allright back to forgiveness.
Yeah, back to forgiveness,because I ain't forgiving that.
Yeah, he going to get that asswhooped and I ain't going to
have to forgive him, and that'sone thing about it, bro.
Like I really don't care aboutforgiveness when it comes to
(41:37):
people that I don't know Iprobably will never see again.
Speaker 2 (41:40):
I don't need to forgive you, bro, but yeah, but
um, but we was talking aboutself-forgiveness, bro, and I
want to get back on that subjectbecause I feel like that's the
hardest thing for us to be ableto do.
Like, when we talk aboutself-forgiveness, it's something
that like for me, I live in myhead, right, so it's I know what
I fuck up on.
I know when I don't necessarilylike give it my all.
I know when I'm about her likebullshit and they're like
(42:02):
holding back.
You know what I'm saying.
Or like I, I recognize all thatshit.
Speaker 3 (42:07):
I'm sorry bro, this nigga said I live in my head.
The song that popped in my headwas nelly.
It's all in my head.
Speaker 1 (42:13):
It was Nelly.
It's all in my head.
Speaker 2 (42:17):
I hate you niggas Over and over again.
Why, nelly Of all places, niggaOf?
Speaker 1 (42:24):
all people You're so bad.
I mean, look, he wear a StLouis jersey Once a month Go.
Speaker 3 (42:32):
Rams.
Speaker 2 (42:34):
Go Rams.
Speaker 3 (42:36):
They in California.
I'm still loyal man Nigga theyborn.
Speaker 2 (42:39):
They was originally.
Speaker 3 (42:40):
They came from Cali, right?
So all you niggas, that's whythey're St Louis fans.
Speaker 1 (42:43):
I don't give a fuck.
They was in St Louis.
Niggas was impactful.
They was in St Louis Since Iwas born and they traded.
They were traders To me.
Oh my bad, I cut the wholething.
I'm and they traded.
They were traders to me.
Speaker 2 (42:57):
My bad, I cut the whole thing.
I'm like I had a good seguegetting back into it too, nigga,
but I just wanted to be able tolike talk through that, because
for me personally, I do feellike forgiving yourself is
difficult.
There's a lot of shit for likethat I've done in my past that I
like sometimes I recount to her, like compare myself to in my
past, that I like sometimes Irecount to.
(43:17):
I like compare myself to, and Ihave to remember that there are
certain people in my life whoknew me 15 years ago where I
wasn't maybe the best person,and they may still have that
outlook on life, and I gottalearn to be okay with that,
because sometimes I do recognizethat, mike, if I'm trying to
achieve something, I have tostep back and ask myself, like,
am I doing this for me, or am Idoing this because, like, I want
people to be like, oh, thatnigga got a good job, or he, oh,
(43:37):
he came from a long way?
Like, is that what I'm tryingto get people to see, or is it
because I legitimately want tobe at this level in life?
You know what I'm saying.
I think that that's part ofthat self-forgiveness, because
I'm like who I'm doing this for.
Is it for me, or is it forother folk?
Speaker 3 (43:52):
I think, I think that mindset too Is being, like you
said, happy.
Yeah, at the end of the day, ifyou happy with yourself and
where you at in life, youwouldn't be worried about Other
people.
Speaker 1 (44:02):
The perception of others.
Speaker 3 (44:03):
Yeah, you know what I'm saying.
I'm not worried about.
I know I've accomplished a lotAt a young age.
You know what I'm saying andwhere I'm at.
At this point I've done a lot.
So I'm hungry still, but I'mcontent with what I've done you
know what I'm saying?
Speaker 2 (44:21):
Same, bro, I understand.
Life, life be life in this shit, what?
Speaker 1 (44:25):
about your journey of self-forgiveness like what that
look like.
Speaker 3 (44:31):
Oh, I mean, it's certain things I haven't
forgiven myself, and the reasonwhy I say that is because y'all
know how I used to be, you know,really into fitness and all
that type of stuff.
So y'all know, I was in asituation a few years ago, man.
I got depressed, you know whatI'm saying.
So it showed and I'm getting tothe point where I'm getting
(44:56):
back into that mode and thatmindset.
Hence why I mean I'm doing this, uh, isolation, man.
I'm on day seven, so I'm justfasting and praying and staying
focused and into my fitness.
But, to answer your question,bro, I'm still working on
self-forgiveness in that aspect,bro, slowly but surely I think
that's a.
Speaker 2 (45:17):
So because for me, bro, is there.
Is there anything that you arelike I don't know?
Is there like a, a moment inyour life that you are trying to
combat?
Is there anything that you likeyou trying to make sure you
don't identify with?
Because there are moments in mylife, like I said, like I was
somebody who didn't necessarilytake school seriously, even
though I had the intelligence tobe able to do so.
I didn't, and so because ofthat, I had to work a lot harder
(45:40):
later on in life, and now I'mat a point where I'm in
education technically you knowwhat I'm saying as a trainer.
So it's kind of crazy, like forme I was working so hard to
prove that I actually am smart,that I actually do have the
ability to like you know I'msaying be at the same level as
some of my other folks who wentto got their bachelors and got
their masters, even doctors.
(46:00):
You know what I'm saying.
I'm like, all right, I could, Icould rock with cats at that
level too, even though I didn'ttake the same route.
So internally it was kind oflike that, that little force
inside of me like all right, youknow, you can do this, like be
get to that level, like getthere.
You know what I'm saying,whatever it takes.
So is there anything y'all like, that's like driving you is
there like some a mistake youmade or a image that somebody
(46:21):
was trying to hold you to, thatyou're trying to like bury?
I mean?
I have like before I left stlouis, my cousin them used to be
kind of skinny and shit.
Speaker 1 (46:38):
So I kind of you know , not kind of but I started
going to the gym and eatingright Well, not eating right,
but eating period.
You know what I'm saying.
Like when I was in St Louis,bro.
You think about it, man, likeyou start working jobs, you only
only get maybe three, fourhundred dollars every two weeks.
There's nothing to live off of.
(47:00):
You know what I'm saying.
So when you trying to look goodand you know, trying to
maintain at the same time likeno, it don't work.
So I wasn't really eating.
So when I started eating andstarted going to the gym, I
started getting a little bigger.
And now I'll be making fun ofmy cousin.
Like hey, dude, they got skinnyin here.
Boy, what you talking about?
What you talking?
Speaker 3 (47:20):
about boy Get older.
We that age.
We lose some weight when we getolder.
Speaker 1 (47:23):
You know, yeah, yeah, but for me like Metabolism,
slow down too.
Speaker 2 (47:26):
You don't eat as much .
Speaker 1 (47:28):
But nothing that I've really needed to forgive myself
for, though you know myself,for though you know, like I
really don't, I don't know man,like I, like it's little shit,
like oh, I was talking back,talking back to my mom.
You know what I mean, like whenI mean when I was young and I
mean, I feel like that's a goodperspective.
Speaker 2 (47:46):
I don't want you to feel like you gotta be in that
position.
I'd like people like me.
You know I got a very uniquesituation and story.
You know what I mean.
But like if you feel like youlived a life with no regrets, I
think that's a dope life to live.
Speaker 1 (47:56):
I'm kind of jealous of it because a nigga like me be
in my head way too much well, Imean, like my brother said in
the song man shout out to trino,but like he said if, um, if it
happened, it was writtencontract for the soul.
Like you know it, it was meant,bro.
You know he probably didn't sayit in those exact words.
No, I mean, I get it.
Speaker 2 (48:17):
I think I like the sentiment all together, but I
mean I feel like those are goodkeys, like we dropped some good
information on this episode tobe able to like say this is how
you forgive, or, if you'restruggling with forgiveness,
this is how you can go throughthe process of forgiving one
another.
Is there anything like y'allwould want to say to the fans
(48:37):
now that we're like coming tothe end of the episode to make
sure that they are forgivingpeople in their life, or like
that they take a step back andlook at what they can do to
forgive that person?
Speaker 1 (48:46):
I mean, you know, like we we've talked about
forgiveness before and and kindof what it means to us.
For me forgiveness overall likekind of means moving forward.
When I say I have no regrets,it's because I kind of forgive
(49:06):
people and kind of move forward,but I break my rearview mirror
off Meaning that.
I don't look back, I don't dwellin the past.
I don't live there, so I don'treally.
I just move forward, and that'swhat you need to do for, like
yourself, when forgiving people.
That's what you doing.
It for is to move forward.
Like y'all both said in thisepisode here, the goal is to
(49:30):
move forward, move on from thesituation.
Yeah, you can't forget.
You know what I'm saying.
Sometimes you may want toforget.
Yeah, you can't forget.
Speaker 2 (49:39):
You know what I'm saying.
Sometimes you may want toforget, but you can't forget.
So that's my advice.
How about that Unique you?
Speaker 3 (49:43):
got a gem for the people.
Just short and sweet, man, yougot to be able to forgive
yourself, love yourself.
That's the only way you'regoing to be able to move forward
.
You can't worry about the otherpeople and wanting their
forgiveness, because then you'regoing to be just running around
in a circle and then somepeople are going to be intensely
trying to put you in thismental space to where they can
(50:04):
like pull back their want andshow you that they're forgiving
you.
So they're like dangling infront of your face.
You know what I'm saying.
So you got to love, loveyourself, forgive yourself.
You can't get them people piledover you.
Man, stay on your pivot I rockwith that.
Speaker 2 (50:21):
I rock with that, for sure.
Appreciate both of y'all forsaying that, man.
And just for me, man, like,what I would say is forgiveness
is a journey.
You know, I'm saying like it's.
It's not something you gotta doall at one time.
You ain't gotta forgiveeverybody in your life all at
once.
But I would say, start on thatjourney.
You know, I'm saying maybe picksomething small, pick something
easy.
Maybe work on your anger, workon maybe developing a
forgiveness uh process, whetherthat's to sit back and write
(50:44):
down shit that's happened to youand then figure out from there
who you want to forgive in order.
You know what I'm saying.
I think it just just take itone day at a time.
That's what.
That's what I would say.
Make it a lifestyle instead ofsomething that you're trying to
get done real quick right youknow what I mean.
So that's definitely something Iwould say um, and then stay
tuned, man, I think we're gonna.
We're gonna definitely touch onthis subject again.
(51:05):
I feel like it's gonna be a lotof things in life where people
might try to do some some whackshit and we're gonna have to
touch back on it in thesituation.
So, uh, yeah, appreciate y'alllistening.
Make sure y'all subscribe.
We got profiles on Spotify,apple, google.
Wherever you listen to yourfavorite podcast, make sure you
check us out.
Speaker 1 (51:23):
Tune into the website .
Speaker 2 (51:25):
Tune into the website .
Make sure you guys arefollowing us on all platforms.
You can find us on Instagramand Facebook.
Shit, what else we got going on?
Y'all Anything coming up?
Stay tuned for the homie fun.
Yes, sir, working on thosevisuals too.
Speaker 3 (51:39):
So we have a YouTube, youtube is up.
Speaker 2 (51:42):
Though right YouTube page is up, so if y'all wanna
subscribe, we could.
You could get on the YouTube,it's just.
Speaker 3 (51:47):
We just gotta get the .
You know what I'm saying?
Visuals for everything.
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (51:52):
So y'all can do is, as long as y'all subscribe and
you hit that bell right as soonas we drop our first episode, or
even a teaser for the firstepisode, y'all gonna get
notified.
Hell yeah, all right, y'allAppreciate, y'all listening,
love y'all.
This has been Triggered toTrophies.
I'm Ant out.
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