Trust-Fund Baddies & Broke Mindsets

Episode Transcript
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Ant (00:18):
Alright, bet.
Welcome back to another episodeof the Trenches 2 Trophies
Podcast.
We got another episode full ofhot topics for y'all, so
hopefully you can ride with us.
I'm here with my boys, MonteCorleone and Uniq Artistry.
What'd it do?
And we up in this thing.
Alright, so first thing I wantto talk to y'all about is, you
know, the internet is aninteresting place with a lot of

(00:41):
interesting perspectives.
But recently, now we got theguys coming at the females,
right?
So we we watched a littlevideo, and bro said he'll only
get married if the dad pays forthe wedding.
Right?
Not only that, he said that shegotta come from money.

(01:01):
And he called her trust fundbaddie, if you will.
Right?
So how y'all feel about that?
Do y'all feel like it's okayfor a man in today's day and age
to expect a woman to one comefrom money, right?
Like her pops need to have thebread.
And then two, if they getmarried, that her dad needs to

(01:22):
pay for the wedding in totality,right?
She he paying for the wholething.

Uniq (01:26):
Off the rip, that's some leeching mentalities to me.
That sounds like somebody thata nigga that's just straight a
leech.
They just trying to get over insome way.
Some some people would say, youknow, I'm looking out for my
best interests.
You know what I'm saying?
My future uh plans for myfamily.

(01:47):
I'm not gonna necessarily agreewith it.
What you got, Monte?

Monte (01:54):
So I would personally say that he's been watching too
many Italian movies because toomuch old school monster.
Now, when you really thinkabout it, bro, black families
didn't do that shit.
That was Italian families wherewhere they were paying for, and

(02:16):
white families, you know whatI'm saying, paying for the the
the the girls' wedding and stufflike that.
You've never seen black folksreally doing that.
Not in America, right?
Yeah, in Africa, but but see,but that's a different culture.
Right, right.
They had to pay, people had topay them.
I think y'all, I think we wastalking about that.

(02:39):
Like they would you you gottapay the woman.
Like, her pretty much, you knowwhat I'm saying?

Uniq (02:44):
Like, if you want my daughter, you want to be, you
know what I'm saying?
My daughter, you have to bringsomething to my family.

Monte (02:48):
But as far as as far as black families, man, we we
really don't do that.
And at the point where we arenow, where I guess he's thinking
about like dating blue ivy orsomething like that.
Like, you know what I'm saying?
Like, he's not talking about aregular woman that, you know
what I'm saying, that lookedgood, got something going for

(03:10):
herself and stuff like that.
Because first of all, I don'tknow what woman's father that's
gonna allow you to talk likethat and ex and and have that
expectation, bro.
Like, that's a you got a highexpectation, and I don't think
no man is going for that for hisdaughter.

(03:30):
Like you basically telling me Igotta pay for it.

Uniq (03:34):
Somebody like, because this it sounds similar, like you
saying that made me think aboutsomebody in particular, Steve
Harvey.
Who you mean?
And like Lori Harvey, you knowhow they was saying he was
pimping out his daughter.
Because that's what it is,Sicily.

Ant (03:51):
You pimping her out.
I mean, and look, and this is acrazy perspective, right?
Because if you somebody whocomes from money, you most
likely want people in yourfamily who also come from money.
So if if like if my daughtercomes to me and be like, oh
yeah, I want to marry this dude,da da da, oh okay, who is he?
What does he do?
Like, just off generalinterest, bruh, she'd be like,
oh yeah, he works at the familydollar, he makes $10 an hour,

(04:14):
but he's he's 25 years old.
Yeah, I'm gonna have a littlebit different of a perspective
of him that if you tell me, ohyeah, he's a business owner, or
oh, he he works at this companyand he makes six figures, da da
da da.
Because in my eyes, I wantsomebody who can take care of
you.
Not saying that they have toand pay for everything, but if
shit, if some shit goes wrong,bro, I want my kid to be around

(04:37):
some people who got someguidance.
Like, you know what I thinkabout this is and this is
probably off to the left a lot.
But if some if some shithappened like end of the world,
motherfucker gonna leave my hegonna leave my daughter.
Is he the type of nigga whogonna lead the family to safety?
Is he the type of motherfuckerwho knows something about
something in the in thewilderness?
He's gonna make sure that wecan build a fire, can feed my

(04:59):
family and shit like that.
That's really the type of shitI'm thinking about.

Uniq (05:01):
You just want to make sure she's gonna be in good hands.

Ant (05:04):
Okay, and in general, so the the money don't matter, but
when you think about being 25and making $10 an hour, is that
really does that look likethey're gonna be in good hands?

Uniq (05:11):
This nigga wants somebody to work for our state.
I mean, type shit.
Are you in good hands?

Ant (05:15):
I mean, if he got the insurance and shit like that.
Are you in degrees?

Monte (05:19):
I don't for me, I don't judge that because I don't know
if that man's having a hard timefinding a job and he has a
degree.
Yeah, that it that comes withtalking to him.
But this man had his attitudeand how he was presenting what
he was saying, he already giveme the vibes.
Like, I you not even gonna,bro, you're not gonna pass the

(05:41):
first five minutes on my couch,bruh.
Like, I'm gonna be like, getthe fuck out of my house, bruh.
Like, but what do you mean?

Ant (05:49):
What can you do with that though?
All right, so check it, checkthis out, because you gotta
follow through with theperspective.
Okay, your daughter's the onewho loves him, right?
Your daughter's also the onewho is convincing you to pay for
her wedding.
Because it's not about thedude.
She's asking you to come andhelp her pay for her dream
wedding in this situation.

Uniq (06:05):
So she's not asking it's an assumption, right?

Ant (06:09):
It's an assumption, but if but if he gets the woman he's
looking for, you know what I'msaying?

Monte (06:14):
Let me put it into perspective.
Yeah, yeah.
Because if that's the case,first off, me and my daughter
should already have had thisconversation.
Me and my daughter shouldalready have had the
conversation about what we'regonna do and what we expect as a
family to support you in your,you know what I'm saying, on
your wedding day.

(06:34):
And if I've already said thatI'm gonna pay for it, that is
cool.
Then, you know what I'm saying,you can start planning your
wedding and stuff like that.
But if we've had theconversation like, oh, okay, you
know what I'm saying, like,cause because a dad probably
ain't gonna have theconversation like, babe, what
type of wedding do you want?
Right, right.
So I'm gonna get that from mywife.

(06:56):
I'm gonna get that from mywife.
My wife is gonna tell me, hey,this is the type of wedding she
wants, this is what I wanna do,blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
You nigga had to speak on theperspective of how he would
handle it because you know whatI'm saying, it's a different
situation.
But when I'm when I'm when mywife gives me what my daughter
wants, you know what I'm saying?
It's up to me to make thedecision.

(07:17):
Oh, yeah, I got that for sure.
But if if I ain't had it, if weain't had that conversation and
I told her that hey, you know,we'll see, we'll see when when
the time comes, type of thing.
He can't have that expectation.
That's gonna turn, that's gonnashe wouldn't even, she

(07:38):
shouldn't even come to me withthat, basically.
If she knows that I ain'tpaying nothing but half, she
shouldn't come to me and say,Well, my boyfriend wants to talk
to you.
Because that's the kind ofconversation that you're gonna
get.

Ant (07:50):
But I feel like you wouldn't know off rip.
I feel like, think about howmany things, and even from your
perspective, think about howmany things your father-in-law
either does not know currentlyor did not know before the time
before y'all got serious.
Like a lot of them bad habits,a lot of the them bad mindsets
don't come out until a littlebit later.

(08:11):
So even if, like, think aboutit, like you're finding this
stuff out, even if you you hearwhat he said, you're finding
this out while they're planningthe wedding, though.
He didn't already ask, like,you know what I'm saying?

Uniq (08:23):
Yeah, you said you think you already believed.
Like, he he at least decent.

Monte (08:31):
Yeah, and on top of that, okay, and then I gotta throw a
little extra sauce on it becauseif I'm finding this out that
this is how he is, and mydaughter didn't tell me about
it, I'm pissed.
I'm pissed at my daughterbecause how you gonna get this

(08:52):
far into this relationship andhe talking like this?
Like he gonna make me beat theshit out of him.
Like, if any of y'all out therethat's that that's seen this
video and has daughters, bro,you should feel a type of way
about how he's talking becauseit's like, bruh, like, how do
you expect that?
Like, you got highexpectations, bro.

(09:13):
Like, and and on top of that,you're very entitled.
So, so you telling me, okay,and then I'll put it like this.
What you contributing to this?
You see what I'm saying?
You're not just finna sit upthere and just marry my daughter
and not contribute anything.
Cause if I'm paying for thewedding, what does that mean
you're doing?
You just sitting on your ass,or are you are you around here

(09:37):
putting up flowers?
What are you doing?
You see how you see what I'msaying?

Ant (09:41):
Like, that's my tucks, nigga.
No.
Bro, but no, but you gottaokay, but I want to but you
gotta put it into put it intoperspective, bruh.
Cause these niggas nowadays,because obviously none of us
technically agree, but I want toprovide some arguing points,
right?
So think about it from theperspective of that's how a lot
of women and some, like a lot ofmothers and some fathers,

(10:04):
that's how they feel about theother side too.
Because these women expecteverything being paid out for
them or everything being donefor them, and they're like the
moms are like, Well, what is shebringing to the table?
What does she do for the da dada da da da da da?
Because it's wrong nowadays fora man to say, I want you to
cook and clean, andda-da-da-da-da.
Right?
That makes it sound like hewants a slave.

(10:24):
So then, from the perspectiveof a woman who's like, I still
expect my man to providefinancially, or is it within
your rights to be like, well,then what are you doing for him?
Right.
Like, think about that, becausenow yo, that's being asked of
your daughters.
Like, and so I think this is mything.
I think it's uh it puts a badtaste in my mouth, and I

(10:45):
wouldn't want that type of niggaaround my daughter.
However, you can't get mad thata nigga is flipping that shit
back around on how he feels likeit's been flipped on him.
Now, again, want him to stayclear, clear the fuck away from
like my family.

Monte (10:59):
Like, but this kind of goes back into this kind of goes
back into what I was saying inthe previous episode.

Ant (11:06):
Yeah, yeah.

Monte (11:06):
Like the first day shit, right?
A woman gotta bring somethingto the table too.
It is a 50-50 relationship,whether y'all like it or not.
It could be 50-50 on the bills,I could pay the bills, you
cooking clean, it's a 50-50relationship.
People just take it out ofcontext.
Now, when that woman asks forwhat she asked for and she gets

(11:31):
what she wants, why can't a manget what he wants?
But what he's saying is absurd.
He's he's asking for a lot.
Because now, okay, what type ofwedding you want, my boy?
You want a $5,000 wedding oryou want a $50,000 wedding?

Ant (11:47):
And I think that to be honest, what if he operates on
the side of she the one whowants the wedding?
So that's why I feel like herdad needs to pay for it.

Monte (11:55):
Well, that means that you don't want to marry my
daughter.

Ant (11:58):
But I think that I'm just saying, like, art for argument's
sake, because again, I agreewith you, but I'm saying for
argument's sake, right?
In my eyes, what's wrong withthat?
Like on the on a surface levelof him saying, Hey, we I want to
marry you, but if you and yourfamily want a wedding, y'all
want to do it big, your dad hasto pay for all of those things.

Monte (12:20):
No, because this is what I think about this.
Right.

Ant (12:23):
I just thought that's it.

Monte (12:24):
If you love my daughter, okay, and you want to marry my
daughter, it is yourresponsibility to do that.
If I put in any of my money,that is a luxury.
That is not for me to do.
I don't want to marry mydaughter off.
That's what motherfuckers don'tunderstand.
My daughter can stay at thecrib till she's 55 fucking

(12:46):
thousand years old.
But you want to marry mydaughter, so you put in that
extra effort, nigga, and I willsupport that.
That's how things, that's howthings are in my eyes.
Now, if my daughter came to meand was like, I am so in love.
He's willing to do everythingfor me, he's willing to put it

(13:07):
all on the table, bro.
I'm with that.
Let's go.
But he seems like an asshole,and he seems like, you see what
I'm saying?
Like, I'm, I just can't, I canI can't accept that, bro.
Like, you you should be, youwanna marry my daughter, and you
coming to me telling me I gottapay for it, bro.
What is what is this?
This is a shakedown.

Ant (13:29):
But I think that that's only in our circles, though,
bro.
This nigga trying to rob me infront of my face.
You hear me?
What?
I feel like that's only in ourcircles, though.
I feel like in circles ofmotherfuckers who talk money all
the time, it's not nearly astaboo for them that bring up
them types of conversations.
So that's why I'll give you alot of people.

Uniq (13:49):
Like if you ask me this question in an ideal world, for
me, yeah, I would take care ofthat.
If it was, and I say ideal, Imean in finances, you know what
I'm saying, everything is inline, you know, and I have the
funds and I've saved up and planfor something like that.

(14:09):
Cause that's another thing too.
Like, I feel like that father,these these these expectations
is as if you're counting on thatfather have already been
planning this for how long?
Like, when do you startplanning to save for something
like that?

(14:29):
That's a little legitimatequestion.
You know, like when would youstart to save up for your
daughter's wedding?
What do you think?
I mean, shit.

Ant (14:41):
See, once the college fund is done.
Once I'm done saving for thecollege fund.
But triggering to other things.
But that, but I think I I agreewith what you're saying.
I agree wholeheartedly withwhat you're saying.
What what where it comes at forme is remembering one, the
dude's attitude, like like Montewas saying.

(15:02):
So you gotta remember hismindset, right, around the
thing.
Because I think all of us,given the the freedom, right, we
would pay for our daughter'swedding without a second
thought, right?
I think that that's where we'rewe would position ourselves
there.
But if a nigga got to talkingout the side of his neck, would
we just be, oh yeah, I got it,I'm a stupid.
Nah, we would be trying to takethat nigga head off.

Uniq (15:23):
It's like I'm gonna pay for it, but it's like it's gonna
be perimeter sitting set inplace of what I'm paying for.
Like the dress I'm paying for.
Right.
Like the venue.
I probably I pay for that.
Yeah, yeah.
But limo, nah.
Stuff like look little things,aesthetics and stuff like that.
Decorations, nah.
I think those are small thingsthat they need to be on one

(15:45):
accord about.

Monte (15:46):
So those are the things that, like I said, like what are
you paying for?
Yeah.
Those are the things thatthey're gonna have to pay for.
Decorations.

Ant (15:52):
Well, so like, so like it's still another family tied to
this wheel.
Yeah, yeah.
A whole nother family tied tothis.
Exactly.
And not just that.
And people don't think aboutfriends too, though.
Like, y'all gotta remember,like, in a, like you saying, in
an ideal world, like I what I'veseen, like, for example, for
the baby shower, we didn't,like, most of the stuff we got,

(16:13):
people either donated to us orsomebody else paid for.
So a lot of that we didn't haveto take on, like a lot the baby
swing and the you know, playpen and stuff like that.
Like, other people took care ofthat for us.
So that's also something wehave to think about.
Like, we hope that we createenough of a community to where
we don't even have to thinkabout nobody like that coming in

(16:34):
because her friends and likeher extended family, all of them
people are gonna take care ofthose things.
We got the only thing we shouldhave to pay for is the venue or
you know, the balloons or somecrazy shit.
You know what I mean?
The cake.
We we pay for the importantpieces.
Because in my eyes, sotraditionally, this is what I
looked up.
The the mom of the bride paysfor the dress.

(16:57):
That's why they go.
Think about it.
The moms always take them,right?
And so usually the mom pays forthe dress, the dad pays for the
venue, and you sometimes thethe cake, right?
Because those usually the bigthe big things, right?
And then everybody else getslike the suits and stuff, like
you know, and the dresses andeverything.
Like it usually everybody elsethen pulls together to take care

(17:20):
of those things.
And I in the ideal world,that's what I would want.
Because I want everybody tocome together, because then
that's how you keep it going.
Hey, I I I gave in some stufffor your wedding, you give in
stuff for my wedding, we allgive in stuff for their wedding,
like it all just kind of is onebig thing.
Yeah, but I'm glad that we allkind of operate on the same
thing.

Uniq (17:39):
It's safe to say we all saying this this nigga here and
get no love in our households.
Absolutely.

Monte (17:47):
Nah, hell nah.
And honestly, honestly, if theman would have, if he had a
better attitude about it, likeif he would have present it's
it's all about presentation, youknow what I'm saying?
If he would have presented thata different way, you feel me?
Like, if he'd have presentedthat motherfucker, like, hey
man, like excuse me, you knowwhat I'm saying, Mr.
Monte.
Mr.

(18:07):
Monte?
Hey, I would love to marry yourdaughter, you know what I'm
saying?
But I don't have it, you knowwhat I mean?
Like, is there any way that youcould assist?
Like, traditionally, you knowwhat I'm saying?
The uh the the male, the thefather pays for the wedding, you
know, and I was hoping, hey, mynigga, come here, man.
Give me a hug, bro.
Like, hey, I love you, littlenigga.

(18:29):
Let's go.
Let's go do it, type shit.
Then you get some love.
But if you come to me like, heyman, you supposed to pay for
the wedding, man.
Get your little ass out of myhouse before I get to look.

Ant (18:40):
I told y'all how it was for me.
Like, dude, ask me.
He was like, you know, howmuch, how much y'all want me to
pay for the wedding?
I said, all of it.
Don't, because don't ask me.
I'ma tell you the truth.
He's I he said, how much y'allwant to pay?
I said, uh all of it.
He was like, how much y'allwanna pay?
I said, none of it.

Uniq (18:57):
Yeah.

Ant (18:58):
Nigga, I look, cause this the but that's what I'm saying,
bro.

Monte (19:01):
You got to G would have slapped the shit out of me, bro.

Ant (19:05):
But one, you gotta know.
Say he wouldn't, bro.
Say he wouldn't, bro.

Uniq (19:11):
He would have slept, man.
He just was ended theconversation.

Ant (19:18):
Well, uh, it was a little lateby then, though.
I ain't gonna lie.
I was like, well, I mean, youknow, I mean, but from my
perspective, bro, again, like Icome from more of the humble
beginning.
So when I was when I was evenhit with the ticket price in the
first place, I was like, yo,this steep.
Like, I've heard of peopletalking about, oh yeah, I paid

(19:39):
like 3,000, I paid like $5,000for my wedding.
I'm like, okay, cool.
Little St.
Louis wedding, that's how muchit cost.
We sat down and was firstlooking at our stuff, that money
was like 11,000 starting price.
I said, Oh, hold up.
Now, people probably listeningto this, like, oh, that's that's
pretty normal.
That's that's cheap.
Nigga, 11,000 was the starting.
Now that that ain't nowherenear what the ending was.

(20:01):
So it was just like, Nick, holdup.

Uniq (20:04):
Hey, let some women say it.
That's what they getting fromtheir sick of daddies or
whatever.

Ant (20:09):
Hey, shout out to them dudes who got it like that,
because yo, but and we also in acity of scamming ass, niggas.

Monte (20:16):
Yeah, but I wouldn't tell them like that.
If a if a man is just paying,he's a creep.
Straight.
He's a creep, bro.
Like, because there's no waylike if he just if he just
blowing a bag on you, he acreep.
He a creep, dog.

Ant (20:33):
Because you feel like he's plotting, he trying to do it.

Monte (20:35):
If he blowing a bag on you, he's blowing the bag on
somebody else.
If he's got it like that, gotit like that.
If he's rolling in the dough,he doing it for you and somebody
else.
So you his hoe, pretty much.
And you probably turning tricksfor that shit.
You feel me?
So I'm just saying, but niggastoo.
If a, if, if, because you gottathink about it like this.

(20:57):
If Big Mama over there plantbuying you a PlayStation, you
turning tricks for Big Mama.
Flat out.
You dig?

Ant (21:06):
I mean, I ain't necessarily disagreeing.
That just ain't what they callit.
Like nowadays, getting financedis like a requirement.
So like we used to put certainpeople like that in a standard.
Yeah.
Because we used to put thempeople in a box.
We used to say, oh, that's agold digger.
That's that's them, these typesof chicks, right?
They'd be like, oh, that's theKim K type of chicks.
That's because that's theKorean Cephas type of chick.

Uniq (21:27):
Uh social media and uh artist music has allowed it, it
influenced it to get into thatpoint.
So now it's like them orcriteria, right?

Monte (21:34):
What happened to women actually wanting to go to school
and do hair and be doctors andbe vets and shit.

Ant (21:42):
I think they still want to do that.
They just want to do that anddo everything else too.
No, they don't want balls,which I understand.

Monte (21:48):
They don't doing nothing.

Uniq (21:50):
They need to find somebody to finance it.

Monte (21:53):
But they're not doing nothing.
They be getting the money andnot doing nothing.
So it's not for me, like, allright, I commend those.
I commend those women who aregetting it and going to school.
But most of the time.

Ant (22:05):
I know some who have who have utilized it pretty well.
Yeah, I know a few.

Monte (22:08):
I know a few as well.
However, the majority, no.
They go in and blowing it onthe bag.
They don't know.

Ant (22:15):
Because they feel like it can come right back.
That's the thing.
Like, they feel like, butagain, that goes into the whole
like value of a dollarconversation.
But before we before we stickon this for too long, we're
gonna stay in the same vein.
Yeah, but we're gonna we'regonna jump over to a different
like different um, but adifferent um, you feel me?
Connected to a different side,you know what I mean?
Because with all of us havingdaughters, right?

(22:36):
That vein up.
With it with all of us havingdaughters, how do we feel about
that being flipped?
Because we've all heard theconversation of well the six,
six, six conversation.
We ain't talking about themarket of beast.
Not at all.
We talking about not at all,brother.
Right, we talking about I callit the triple sixes.
The triple sixes.
Yeah.
I I like that, I like the thetriple sixes.
So they say a man should haveto make six figures, be six feet

(22:58):
tall, and have six inches inhis face.
Hold the fuck up.
Wait a minute.

Monte (23:01):
Hold on, first and foremost.
How the fuck you gonna ask any,how you gonna ask that question
to any one of us?
Nigga, ain't none of us six.

Ant (23:10):
Is that a value you feel like you're gonna be okay with
your daughter having?
And what why not?
Because I ain't six foot.
I don't care about that.
So you feel like you put youput five, seven in that
motherfucker.
Yeah, we can have aconversation.
No, I'm just brought up.
I'm trying to keep it straightfrom basic and shit, dog.
I got too seven.

(23:31):
I read it before.
But look.
But that shit, that shit got meweak though, bruh.
Because is it is it bad for herto want it?
Because I feel like a lot ofwomen have set this standard
because they dealt withsomething less than in the past.
So what they're trying to donow is shoot for the stars.

(23:51):

Monte (23:52):
I I don't so no, I don't feel like that she should be
wrong for feeling that way.
My daughter or any woman,because you know, sometimes
people think about how they wanttheir kids and stuff like that.
I feel it's wrong to judgepeople on how they how tall they

(24:12):
are and stuff like that,because you could be possibly
passing up a good person.
But if that's what you want,that's what you want.

Uniq (24:20):
And hey, I'm just I'm the problem is for me, uh because I
don't agree with it.
It's like you two of thosethings is purely off with
genetics.
Having six inches and being sixfeet tall.
So you're already negating ahuge amount of the population

(24:45):
just because of genes.
There's nothing a man can help.
That's nothing that he can worktowards.
I know.
The six figures is somethingthat he can attain.
You can't do anything.
She, you know what I'm saying,about that.

Monte (24:57):
Yeah, but you you're saying, okay, so you're saying
that basically if you cameacross a six-foot woman that was
not the complexion that youlike, and she has small chest
and no behind, you would go forthat just because she got a good
attitude?

(25:17):
You have a certain criteria aswell, so it's something that you
want, but that's that could besomething that the girl wants
and doesn't she doesn't want ashort man or a short young yong.

Uniq (25:28):
And then off of that other criteria, then you how you
gonna get to know the othercriteria unless you're moving
forward, and now you put tellingyour daughter to go find that
out.

Monte (25:36):
I mean, that's I mean, that's technically on the
person.
That's it.
That's how you gonna see that.
But but remember what I said inthe first place.
Judging the person by they bytheir height, they they I said
the exact same thing prettymuch.
Like they they taking off avast majority of the people that
might be good people.
Like, that's it's stupid, butthat's something that they

(25:58):
won't.
I I can't.

Ant (25:59):
I feel like we do it all the time with like weight and
stuff, though.
Like, or like them, all thempeople with that big old
forehead that you that you lookpast because you couldn't get
over her hairline, like shemight have been a really great
person.
Like, you know what I mean?
But I say this.
I say this, bro.
When it comes to the standards,I think that anybody who has

(26:20):
too strict of a standard isgonna fail.
Cause you you you cutting toomany people out.
I think it's so actually I waswell, I was following this page
and I ain't gonna tag thembecause we ain't at the point
where we start giving niggasshout-outs like that.
But they were talking about welook for the wrong things.
Like when we first get withsomebody, we're not supposed to
say, Oh, I want you to do X, Y,and Z.

(26:42):
I want a person that has allthese things.
We're supposed to say, I wantsomebody who respects me, I want
somebody who's loyal.
Them type of requirements,because then you you set
yourself up for the right thing.
When you do stuff like, oh, shegotta be, she gotta have big t,
she got a big ass, she gotta beable to throw that motherfucker
around.
I need somebody who couldtwerk.
Like, I you know what I mean?
Like those are all cool thingsto have later on in the

(27:03):
relationship, but it don'treally benefit you when you talk
about setting up a foundation.
So as far as me, if to answerthe question, I wouldn't want my
daughter growing up with thisparticular standard in her head.
Like saying like six feet, sixfigures, six inches.
Cause if I don't ever want herbeing like six inches oh, nigga,
you five and a half.
Like, nigga, I mean, that'sthat's a little wild.

(27:26):
You think about that at the endof the day, bro?
Like, she just out here talkingabout some almost made it,
nigga.
Sorry.
She good luck next time,motherfucker.
Yeah, like I mean, okay.

Monte (27:37):
Okay, but and this is where I come from with it.
Because are you alright withyour daughter settling because
she couldn't find what she waslooking for, and then she
settles for somebody that shereally don't like, so you gotta
deal with it afterwards, becausea divorce comes heavy, nigga.
They might have to, she mighthave to come stay with you.

(27:58):
It's like, I'd rather you gofind what you want, but then
again, to turn it around, shecould get something that she
thinks she wants and don't likeit.
I would rather her go find out.
So this and this is this is apart of when you find what
you're looking for.
You as a as a person, I wouldtell my daughter, go ahead and

(28:22):
go find that, right?
Yeah, because what she'slooking for, she might not like.
It takes experience, bro.
Like how I found my wife, bro.
It took experience.
I dated so many girls.
I said, I didn't like this, Idon't like this, I love this, I
don't like this, and I don'tlike that, but I love this.
And when you find that person,you gonna talk to them for a

(28:43):
while and you gonna realize, ah,uh no, that's one of them.
Nope, I'm good.
And that might be that six footmotherfucking 10-inch nigga.
Like, she might be like, shemight be like, this nigga the
shit, but this nigga.
Oops, I'm sorry, this niggasomething wrong with this dude,
but you know what I'm saying?
Like, I just it take theexperience, so I would rather

(29:04):
her go for it, you know what I'msaying?
But one thing I'm gonna tellyou is I'm not gonna be having
this conversation with mydaughter.
No, you can tell that to yourmama.

Uniq (29:14):
Man, one thing too though, it's like we just this the
society's putting these threethings, putting so much weight
on these three things and justnegating everything else and not
not giving the other the otherthings, other characteristics
any uh real shot.
Like these these collectiveother characteristics are not

(29:36):
gonna amount to this one thingout of these three.

Monte (29:42):
I feel like it's a 2025 fad, though.
This is some new shit.
This is this been like a coupleyears.
I mean, I feel like it's newthough, because it all right, so
I'm gonna say this thisstandard came with the women
who.
Want to be taken care of.
And it came like a big fad.

(30:03):
This is like, oh, they gotta bethis and they gotta be that and
they gotta take care of me andthey gotta do this.
Cause bruh, women in ourgeneration, like our age, it
ain't that, bruh.
It's the Y N's and the Y-ngirls.
Like it, that's all it is.
They wanna be taken care of.

Uniq (30:21):
Nah, it's some, it's some and it's not my group right now.
Forget I'm in a pool right now.
I get it, but I get what you'resaying, though, for the
majority, but they did it.
Then it got infected.
Then it got infected.

Monte (30:33):
I feel like they've beenbruised by by us, though.
Like.
What do we do?
Bruh, hey, come on now, bro.
We was some dirty dudes, bro.
I didn't do nothing.
Yes, I didn't do it, bro.
Didn't do bruh.

Ant (30:50):
Not a thing.
It's a lot of stuff that wedon't think we did as men.
That we you go talk back tothem same women who we was in
the relationships or talkingstages with, they be like, you
played me.
You did play so much stuff, bro.
You be like, I ain't donothing.
You ghosted me.

Monte (31:06):
I know I did.
I know it.
Yeah, for sure.
Based off of what I said aboutthe dating shit, bruh, I know
it, bro.
That's how I felt back in theday.
Like, nah, bro, like, we gottago half on this shit.

Uniq (31:18):
We figured we'll get to the bottom of this.

Ant (31:20):
Look, all right, alright.
So one last, one last look,look, uh look question for y'all
before we pivot to the nextsegment, right?
So I seen something else.
And uh, and a young lady prettymuch said, so they was, I'm
assuming this, these two peoplewere dating.
It was a young lady and a youngman.
He sends her $2,000, like a$2,000 Apple Pay message for her

(31:41):
birthday.
He says some sweet stuff withit, hey, happy birthday, love
you so much, da-da-da-da, right?
She sends the money back.
She sends the money back, shesays, Hey, I feel like you've
done bigger gestures or likeyou've spent more money on this
on other things, so you couldhave come a little harder.
I am gonna go ahead and sendyour money back because there's

(32:04):
other dudes out here who arewilling to spend way more money
on me.
Right?
Which I feel about that.
Just off first hearing that.
I'm gonna let Monte go, but I'mso tired of y'all dude.

Uniq (32:17):
It sounds like, hold on, hold on, real quick.
Sick of it.
It sounds, it's if that's thebreakdown of how it went without
without any extra fluff.
Yeah, yeah.
She did it respectfully.

Ant (32:28):
I mean, though it's I'm so tired.
It's like the outcome though.
Bruh, bruh, sick of theseconversations.
I'm not respectfully.

Monte (32:37):
Because what are you saying to me, bro?
Like, I sent you two bands, butlike, how you know that wasn't
all I hate?
Like, I don't give a damn ifit's people that's spending more
money than me.
Like, the least you can do issay thank you, bruh.
Like, that's crazy, bruh.
Like, you sent my shit back,bro.
Like, that's that's like yousaid it was respectful, but

(33:00):
that's like a spit in my face,bro.
I took the time to send yousome money for your birthday.
I'm saying happy birthday.
Maybe I couldn't get to you intime, you know what I'm saying,
bring you flowers and shit.
Like, damn, like that's athat's a spit in my face.
And then who am I to you?

Uniq (33:16):
My daddy don't want you what type the type of man you
are as part of the family.
You're not coming.
My father does doesn't want youwith the type of man or how you
coming to me as part of thefamily.
You're not gonna be able tocontribute how we as my family
are able to contribute to eachother.

Monte (33:36):
Oh, I just told her thanks.
We shouldn't be dating.

Uniq (33:39):
That's what she did.
But that's what she did.

Monte (33:41):
No, because that ain't what she said.
She made it seem like itrespectful.
Yeah, but she made it seem likeother guys will send me more
money than that.
Other people can take care ofme better than that.

Uniq (33:54):
That's why we're dating them, and I just figured out
that you're not the one for me.

Monte (33:57):
Yeah, but you said family.
I'd have been like, okay, I'dhave been, hey, if you'd have
told me, hey, if you'd have toldme, hey, look, look, my daddy
sent me $50,000.
You got to come better thanthat.

Ant (34:09):
Hey, so let me let me let me start from the jump, make
sure y'all got it.
So I'm gonna read the the textverbatim, right?
So here's a young man.
Happy early birthday, baby.
Love you forever, wishing youmany more.
I'm gonna be asleep at 12, soI'm telling you now.
He sent this message at 7.05p.m.
That tells me a hard-workingman right there.
Right.
So that's two thousand.
He sent two thousand dollarcash out.

(34:29):
He gave her time andeverything.
She said, thanks, but I'm gonnasend it back.
I just feel like we've beentogether way too long for me to
only get $2,000 for my B Day.
You spent that on food in amonth.
And I'm not being ungrateful.
I just know my worth.
Thank you.
Thank you though, Cavante.
You always been sweet, but thisnigga's really out here trying

(34:51):
to spin a bag on me.
And she sent the $2,000 back.

Monte (34:54):
Guess what?
I feel like that was a I thinkshe was bluffing.
And I think she wanted somemore money, and I think she got
her girlfriends in her ear.
I don't really think that, Idon't really think nobody was
spending more money on herbecause if that's y'all been
together for a long time, but Iwould have flipped the fuck out.

(35:14):
Who's spending money on you ifwe been together for this long?

Ant (35:19):
To flip the fuck out.
That's a fair.
I would have flipped the money.
Very fair, bro.
Very fair.
And that's what people in thecomments were saying.
People was like, hey yo, like,fam, if if she said, if she hit
you with niggas out here tryingto spin the bag on me, go ahead
and focus on yourself, my boy.
Like, go ahead and like, guesswhat?

Monte (35:37):
I'm gonna take this $2,000 and pack all your shit up
and send it back to you.
Thanks.
Have a nice day.

Ant (35:45):
Oh my god.
They were already in the queue.
But from what I heard fromwomen, that's most that's most
how most of them move.
A woman's not gonna move onlike from a relationship until
she normally got two, threeoptions already lined up, ready
to, you know what I'm saying?

Monte (35:59):
So he must have been, I mean, from what it sounds like,
he's he working, you know whatI'm saying?
And he communicating, but theyprobably don't see each other
that often.
She probably tired of his assor something.

Ant (36:09):
But it's probably it's probably inconsistent, bro.
Again, depending on the type ofdude she's used to dealing
with, especially if she's ayoung girl who's dating older,
she may be dating men who are ina different lane.

Uniq (36:22):
They were talking for too long for this long, or like
dating.

Ant (36:26):
She said, Yeah, we have been dating for too long for me
to only get $2,000 on my bag.

Monte (36:30):
I'm gonna put some game out there too.
Because females sometimes jumpthe gun and think another man
got more than he got.
And some people be lying.
And I know from experience,because I seen this with with my
my cousin, you know what I'msaying?
Like, they'll be like, nah, I'mgood, cause I got this coming.

(36:53):
But the whole time it's a lie.
Niggas lie, and niggas is goodat lying.
So sometimes a female will belike, oh yeah, like she said,
she sent that message.
She might think that it's threeniggas trying to spin a bag on
her, telling her that, oh, I'mfinna buy you some Balenciaga
shoes, and he just got that fromthe site for 50 bucks.

(37:13):
Lying to you and gave you somefake shit, and then you just
left a man that's gave you 2,000real dollars.
Real dollars.

Uniq (37:21):
That same nigga that you think and got that bread is
flexing him.
He knowing that you gotta do,so he knowing that you're gonna
go back to this nigga anyway.
So he just playing like hegonna do this for you.

Monte (37:30):
Yep.
And as soon as, and as soon asyou give up them draws, dude
gonna, you know, he do gonnaplay you to the left, and you
gonna be trying to get back towhat's his name, Kvantae or
whatever the hell he came in.
And then you're gonna belooking stupid.
So it is what it is.
But I've seen it firsthand,bruh.
So, hey, y'all, hey, that's whyI said I'm so tired of this

(37:50):
shit, because females, that'show y'all end up being the
bitter woman talking about oh,ain't no niggas out here, ain't
no me, ain't no real men outhere.
Because in your younger days,you did this shit.
Man, watch out.
Man, watch out.
Get the fuck out of here.

Ant (38:05):
And I I get it, bruh.
I get it, I get it.
But unfortunately, this is whatthese young men have to deal
with nowadays, because on theargument, so I seen this post,
right?
Just to just to wrap this upbefore we move on.
But I was on this post and itwas talking about it was like
you ain't no you ain't no realgangster, you ain't really from
no hood situation if your kid'snot in the suburbs right now.
Like if you if you from if youfrom they was like if you from

(38:29):
if you from the trenches, if youlegit from the trenches and
your kids is still in thetrenches, you ain't no real
motherfucker.
Because anybody that reallycomes from the trenches, your
kids speak, they speak hellaproper.
They in the they in thesuburbs, they don't know nothing
about that life, bro, becausewe already know how bad that
shit was.
That wasn't nothing, wasn't noflex about that.

(38:50):
So now, you like you puttingyour people up in the put in a
different type of position now.

Monte (38:55):
Man.

Ant (38:55):
And I was just like, just thinking about it, bro.
But with that being said, thatmeans that these young girls,
they ain't they ain't cool with$20 no more.
They ain't cool with $20.
They cool, they like, hey, youremember you used to be able to
take $20, go to the mall, take alittle chick to the uh movie
theater, get some snacks, callit a day.
Yeah.
Now, nah, nah, bruh.

(39:16):
You gotta, you, you gotta sendyour kid with at least $200.

Uniq (39:20):
Man, nah, nah.

Ant (39:21):
At least.

Monte (39:23):
Nah, man.
Like, but I mean, that's forreal.
That's those type of kids.
When my daughter gets to thatpoint where, like, right now, a
lot of people will put theirkids in Jordans and all of this
shit.
Guess what?
My daughter ain't getting nopair of Jordans until she says,
Dad, I like those shoes.
Because I like Jordans.

(39:45):
If she says, Dad, I like thoseshoes that you got on, can I get
some?
Cool, I got you.
But she don't like that.
She likes girly stuff.
So I'm gonna let her get girlystuff.
Like, I ain't finna put that onthem so they can learn the
value of it.
So when I when she do say, Iwant them, I'm gonna be like,
Oh, you want these?
Cool.
These are good grade shoes.

(40:06):
These are these type of shoes,these are do your chores shoes.
Like, you gotta make it intosomething like that and make it
worth it.
But my kids, hey, I work hard.
So my kids gonna work hard, youknow what I'm saying?
And it is gonna be rewarding.
You know, I'm not doing, I'mnot just giving my kids stuff.
So when they see other kidswith now, let me say something.

(40:30):
One of my partners got straightF's and wasn't on punishment.
I got two and was onpunishment.
That told me something.
His parents don't give a damnabout him going to school.
So I ain't I don't want my thatthat taught me a lot.
My kids ain't finna do that.

(40:51):
Just because they got on whatthey got on, I don't know what I
don't know what they parentsdo.
If you want, if you want that,you gotta let me know you want
that, and we gonna work it out.
We gonna get that.
But there's gonna be, if youwant some 200, 300 shoes, guess
what?
Like, babe, you're gonna haveto, we're gonna have to figure
this out.
Yeah, you know what I'm saying?
I ain't I ain't sending my kidto school in no Balenciaga for

(41:12):
what?
For what?
These kids, I don't know wherethey're getting this shit from,
but we not doing that.
We not doing that, baby.
We not doing that.
Like, I don't care how muchmoney I got, I'm not sending my
kid to school.

Uniq (41:28):
I mean, you gotta understand too, it's the
internet.
These young boys on theinternet making some bread.

Monte (41:32):
Yeah, they scamming, fool.
Like, like I'm but hey, I my mydaughters don't learn
consequences.
Like, my hey, hey, look, Iain't saying no name.
My little cousin scam.
Guess what?
He had a bag.
Guess what?
He let a chick in.
Guess what?
She hit his ass.

(41:52):
Well, I wasn't having a videoup.

Uniq (41:54):
I'm doing that saying that.

Monte (41:54):
It's consequences to this shit, bruh.
It's consequences, bruh.
And the thing about it is, youlucky that them boys that she
was rolling with didn't run upin there.

Uniq (42:05):
Right, that was it.

Monte (42:05):
Because he was like, bro, I'mgood.
I had more than that.
Nigga, you I understand whereyour head at, bruh, but it's
consequences to this shit.
So scamming could get your asshit, it could get you shot, it
could get you killed, it couldget you locked up.
Them, them the consequencesright there.

Uniq (42:22):
Give me the hundred bands in a week.

Monte (42:24):
Yes, but the risk don't weigh hit.
The risk weigh more than thereward, bro.
Like, I'm not sure.

Uniq (42:30):
Yeah, you preach, you preach it to them.
Hopefully they listening, bro.
But I'm looking at 16.

Monte (42:34):
Yeah, I get it.
But hey, is a look.
All right, so I argue, I argue,and I hate that I'm going so
long on this, but I argue withniggas on PlayStation about
this.
Young niggas that be like, oh,you you old, you uh, bruh.
You gotta live to where I'm at,bruh.
Like you talking like you don'twant to live to 50, bruh.
You're here first.

(42:55):
Like, I'm old, I'm good.
And like it speak to what youwere saying.
Because my kids, bruh, I'm dudetold me he said, nigga, you
moved out of St.
Louis, blah, blah, blah.
I said, Yes, nigga, for a job.
I was like, I ain't runningfrom nobody.
I'm not running from nobody.
I want my kids to live good,bruh.
You see my crib?
I said, you nigga, you said youstay off chambers.
That means you live in probablyan apartment or a broke down

(43:17):
ass crib.
So nigga, don't talk to meabout what the fuck I left St.
Louis for.
I left St.
Louis to give my family abetter place to live, bruh.
Better opportunities and shitlike that.
Nigga, bruh, y'all got to getto where I'm at, bruh.
Y'all can't, hey, I'm I'm gladto be an unk, but I'ma get on

(43:37):
y'all ass because we callcrackheads unk and shit like
that back in St.
Louis.
So y'all gonna have to stopthat shit.
Bruh, but anyway, they don'tgive a damn.

Ant (43:44):
Cause like, so I always get the example.
It's hard to tell amotherfucker to stove hot when
they ain't never burnt theirhand, bro.
Like, motherfuckers be havingto touch shit.
You could tell a kid to stovehot 50 times.
They ain't gonna know till theytouch it.
And they sa and they pull thatmotherfucking hand back.
Now they know when shit get alittle warm, ha, they pull their

(44:06):
hand back.
It's hard.

Monte (44:07):
The risk is too high now.
That stove is hot as a bulletto the head nowadays.

Ant (44:11):
Yeah.

Monte (44:12):
So it ain't no coming back from that.
That's why I'm trying to preachto them because they ain't like
y'all not me.

Ant (44:17):
And you, you, you should, you should definitely tell them,
plant the seed, you know whatI'm saying?
It's just unfortunately, we hadan opportunity.
Your first fight wasn't a fightwith a nigga who would
literally take you off this map.
It was it was the nigga wholived down the street from you.
It was a motherfucker who wasin the same class as you in
kindergarten, first grade,second grade, whatever the case
is.
So we grew up, it was a it waslike trial, like, like unique

(44:38):
said, trial and error.
So you was able to go outsideand get your rocks off and bada
da da da.
So you you got to scrappingwith niggas before it really
mattered.
These cats having their firstfight at 17 when it's high
stakes with a nigga who, youknow what I'm saying, who live
across the city from him.
That they that's what theproblem is, bro.

Uniq (44:55):
I think it's another thing that's popped in my mind
because of that.
We got that trial and error.
It made us, it built up thatmetal, it built up that mindset
for us to be able to think indifferent ways because we we've
been through differentsituations and had those
experiences.
These dudes, like you said,these consequences is more
harsh, and they they gettinglocked up 17 and getting 25

(45:20):
years.
Versus us, we was able to getour rocks off and learn from it.

Ant (45:25):
And niggas was going in and out of juvie.
Niggas was in there two, threeother times.

Monte (45:29):
Like, man, but then that was for stupid shit.
Like now, like back in the day,we'd be like, nigga, what's up?
I'll beat your ass.
Now, nigga, like, what's up,I'll smoke your ass, I'll shoot
you in the face.
What?
Hey, man, I don't want noproblems, fool.
Like, hey, keep that shit overthere.

Ant (45:43):
Cause death is popular now, nigga.
Man, back then, like, bro, youremember Boys in the Hood,
right?

Monte (45:49):
You remember that scene, Y'all wanna see a dead body?

Ant (45:52):
Yeah, that's why that's because it was rare, though.
Yeah.
That you know what I'm saying?
That's cause even though niggaswas gangbanging doing shit,
seeing that dead body wasactually rare.
Nowadays, it's not.
Like, them niggas, it's a deadbody everywhere.
It's always some shit poppingoff.
Hey.

Monte (46:08):
So it's like, well, Jamal, Brandon, LaQuan, all
y'all little badass niggas.
Check this out, bruh.
When you die, you're gonna havea wake, hopefully, awake, a
funeral, and niggas gonna forgetabout you in the next couple
days.
They're gonna, some gonna thinkabout you and shed a tear, some
gonna forget about you, somegonna have a party and go to the

(46:30):
club the next night.
It's like, bro, you you gonnabe celebrated for probably like
48 hours and then remembered.
And slowly you're gonna fadeaway, my nigga.
Yep.
It's like, cause you, first ofall, you 16 or probably y'all,
cause y'all young.
Y'all didn't have a long lifeto make an impact on people,
bruh.
So y'all, when you gone, yougone.

(46:51):
Niggas ain't gonna think aboutyou at all, bruh.
Like, that's that's that's thebad part, and that's why I'm
trying to give y'all a littlegame, cause y'all don't
understand, bruh.
Like, we done been, like, mepersonally, bruh, I done
literally been shot at and heardthe bullets flying through

(47:11):
trees, bruh.
Like I've I've I've I've likeit like I saw them, you know
what I'm saying?
Like, and so for y'all to betalking like this and I escaped
stuff like that, bruh, y'all,y'all ain't really ran from
nobody and had your heartpumping and you had to hit the
ground and start rolling and runsomewhere different because
niggas shooting.
Like, y'all don't get it, bro.

(47:32):
Like, it's not something to beproud of.
Like, when you get away fromit, you don't want to be like,
yeah, let them niggas shoot atme again so I can run.
No, you be like, man, let meget the fucking away from here.

Uniq (47:43):
When I got popped at Northwoods, boy.
And you remember when you wasthere in the court?
Learn from that.
Don't ever go, don't ever go,don't ever go inside, you know
what I'm saying?
Nobody's crib like that again.
Man.
What you got, eh?
It's like we're finna move onto the next thing.

Ant (47:58):
Yeah, I mean, it's I'm trying to think, but alright, so
look, we're gonna move on toour next, our next round, but
it's this is more this or that.
So this is our our rapid fireround.
So try to think about yourstance and then give quick
couple of senses on why you arethat way.
Right?
So we we've been talking aboutmarriage a lot on today's
episode.

(48:19):
So would y'all say marry forlove or marry for position?

Monte (48:25):
I hate when you do this.
I'm just saying.
I say both, but you gotta picka side.
Gotta pick a side.
Somebody else go.
I'm thinking.

Uniq (48:33):
He um go.
No, when you say position,break it down.

Ant (48:37):
So, like leverage, right?
So just like we talked abouttoday with old boy, he said he
gotta have a trust fund baddie.
So he gotta, he's trying tomarry for position.
He's trying to put himself inposition somebody financially so
he can live a different life.
So you would you say marry forposition or marry for love?

Uniq (48:52):
I don't say love because you both could be on the same
page to work on getting y'allboth into that position.
I rock with that.
You in that position alreadyand you don't have any love, and
that it can crumble.
Because now you just doing itbecause you gotta do what you
gotta do.
And then now that other thingscan seep into their relationship

(49:13):
and cause turmoil.

Ant (49:15):
You're not wrong.
You're not wrong.
Some people feel like the uhperson is leverage.

Uniq (49:21):
I was gonna say to somebody else you can see that
you think is in a betterposition than then.
You married this person forthis position, they moved on for
another person that's in abetter position.

Ant (49:29):
Some people feel like that's cool.
Because you have multiple wivesor you have multiple like
significant others throughoutyour life.
So some people feel like, yeah,that's what it is.
It was uh it was that was juston the news.
Liz, a lady from Africa didthat.
She came from overseas, marrieda dude she had been talking to
for a long time, and then likeafter they was together for like

(49:51):
like maybe a year or two, shedipped off and started married
another nigga that was payinglike all her bills and
everything.
She ain't had to do nothing.
So she literally likeping-ponged her way to success.

Monte (50:00):
Yes.
And a lot of people do that.
She just, but but like to followwhat Unique said, I think that
like her her world gonnacrumble.
Because like her standard'sgonna keep going up, and a
person's finances ain't gonna beas high as she thinks.
So the the thing about that isyou always you always gotta

(50:24):
contribute just a little bit tokeep that standard going, your
standard going.
Cause ain't nobody like yourstandard ain't gonna be the same
as somebody else's standard,bruh.
And marrying for just finance,bruh, like that's gonna end
quick.
That's gonna end quick, bruh.
Cause you ain't gonna like, youain't like a okay, so a person

(50:44):
that thinks, all right, you meanboth of them marrying for
finances?

Uniq (50:50):
What you mean?

Monte (50:51):
Like, okay, so both of them have this agreement that
they just marry in for finances.
Like, they not I mean so that'san arranged marriage.
They not love, they're notgonna be like, that's what I was
gonna say.

Ant (51:02):
Arranged marriage, but a lot of people, bruh, smart, I
ain't gonna lie, and a lot ofsmart people, they marry for
business.
They marry because it's acontract.
Right.
Like, we I'm finna bridge thistogether.
So financially, we finna bringour businesses together.
We finna bring you know whatI'm saying, da-da-da-da-tog.

Monte (51:18):
Okay, so boom.
And I always bring it back tomy situation, yeah.
Because we both marry for wantand not need.
So when you are stable, like Iwasn't stable at the time, but I
have the potential to be theman that I am today, pretty
much.

(51:38):
So my wife, which had a collegedegree and she knew like where
she wanted to go, I didn'treally know where I wanted to
go, but we married for want andnot need.
So we wanted each other, likethat's love, and we had the
finances where we knew we werecapable of the finances, you

(52:01):
So I I I vote love, you knowwhat I'm saying?
Because it's like if you loveenough, if you love a person
enough, you're gonna supportthem to be successful.
You two might be successfullike financially successful
right now, but you don't knowwhat's gonna happen in the
future.
So you're marrying for uh acause that's not stable, you

(52:22):
Like that makes no sense to me.

Uniq (52:24):
So, what's your answer?
You being so combative, youknow, it sounds like you want
you want that guy from the verybeginning that we started with
this on this podcast to be apart of your family.
He's gonna be a good thing.
It seems like a pretty coolguy.

Ant (52:35):
Nah, nah, from where I sit, I definitely would say marry
for love, because I feel likeit's easier in the long run.
Like if you really, if youreally love that person and you
really stand on the principlesof marriage, I definitely say
married for love.
However, when I think abouthow, especially America in
America, right, howinstitutionalized that
everything is, and you thinkabout how marriage is actually

(52:57):
used to get like further inlife.
A lot of people use it as likea like a stepping stone into
places.
And if you look at it, thosepeople tend to have more
successful marriages becauseit's a controllable situation.
Like I'm marrying you for yourmoney or for your success, and
we both are aware of this.
When you marry for love, a lotof people, it's an emotional

(53:18):
situation.
Optics.
I mean, yeah, optics, yeah,yeah.
I mean, when they say that, butlike most motherfuckers who are
married on the inside, bruh.
Yeah.
But bruh, them people be sotwisted anyway.
They'll they'll be like, uh,they so twisted.

Uniq (53:34):
You want to live with it mentally and have her to deal
with it.
And that's how the people endup cracking.
Right.
And then now you won't snap.

Ant (53:43):
Right, right.
Now you done jumped off abuilding because you're doing
too much.
Alright, but like, we spent toomuch time on that one.
So next one.
So still stand on that uhrelationship tip, right?
So the natural and nurturingwoman who looks less than
average, right?

(54:03):
So natural and nurturing womanwho looks less than average, or
the bad and bougie chick, butshe has no like life skills, no
home.

Monte (54:12):
Say that again, because I was not paying attention.

Ant (54:14):
So the natural and nurturing woman who is less than
average on the looks, right?
Mm-hmm.
Or a bad chick who doesn't haveany like home skills.
She don't have any like homelife skills.

Monte (54:28):
Bruh, come on now.
Man, we've been talking aboutthis for hellas.
I am gonna take the firstchoice.
Why?
Because, like I said before,I've dealt with that before.
The bad model chick with nohome training that just don't
have the her attitude ishorrible.

Uniq (54:47):
Like it's it said no home training.
It ain't said attitude.
That comes with the hometraining.
Nah, you can be you can teachthat home training.

Monte (54:54):
No, you can't.

Uniq (54:55):
That's why it's called home training.

Monte (54:58):
I'm gonna take a home and we're gonna train.
So look, we're gonna trainhome.
I'm looking at that as if wepassed the molding phase.
I'm not molding no chick.
Once you figure out you can'tmold the chick into what you
want to do.
You can't mold nobody.
But I'm saying you can't moldnobody.
So once you get past figuringthat shit out, them the two

(55:18):
options you got right there.

Uniq (55:20):
Hey, and I'm with you.
So you're telling me you can'tteach anybody's no thing.

Monte (55:25):
Absolutely.
You can you can teach okay.
No, a man is not supposed tolead.
Okay, a leader is supposed tolead.
But a leader, oh no, you'renot.
Once you get to a certain age,bruh, you ain't supposed to be
never stopped teaching.
No, bruh, like, look, y'allsupposed to be teaching each

(55:46):
other.
If you teaching the person andyou dragging them along like a
caboose, no.
No, hell no.
I'm I'm leading, but you got tohave some, like, look, I'm
leading.
It's like this the the bikewith the the two the two the two
cycles, you can't be back therenot peddling.

(56:07):
No.
I can teach you.
Yes, teaching, yes, I can teachyou some things, but manners,
bruh, that's some shit that youcan't just you no, oh no.
Some people go ahead, go ahead.

Ant (56:19):
I'm gonna go somewhere.
Listen, because this this thisconversation can definitely get
deep, right?
Yeah, I think there's adifferent, there's a bunch of
different points that can bemade.
There's a but there's a bunchof different points that can be
made.
These niggas.
But from from that, I want todeal with that standpoint of uh
damn, I lost that shit.
Nigga said, find it, nigga.

(56:43):
Uh teaching it?
Yeah, but nah, like when itcomes, like, yeah, but teaching
like in a relationship.
So when it comes to like,because I definitely agree that
like the man is supposed toteach in a relationship.
However, I think that they getmisconstrued a lot of the time.
Because the man, it's notsupposed to be like a child
parent relationship or like ateacher-student relationship.

(57:03):
It's supposed to be more likemodeled behavior.
Like this is the way I carrymyself, this is the way I move
in a room, this is the way Imake decisions.
So I definitely agree with thatbeing said, but that's why,
because, and I I didn't say wewould have to paint the whole
profile of like what the bad andbougie woman is versus what the
nature, like the nurturingwoman is.

(57:25):
Because we didn't talk aboutattitudes and if she's gonna
listen to what you say and allthat stuff.
We just more so talking aboutlike, do you want the chick who
you know you ain't gotta worryabout taking her home?
She's gonna take her home.
She just don't necessarily lookall that great.
So when it's time to go out andstuff, you're gonna be able to
deal with her looking prettymediocre versus the chick.

Monte (57:44):
Damn, wait a minute, man.

Ant (57:46):
You you ain't say that.
Yeah, I'm talking about likeshe's like, I ain't say she
cleaned up well.
I said she look average on thelook scale.
So below average.
Damn.
So I mean every time you get upand leave, family reunions, all
of that, church, nigga, goanytime you go anywhere in
public, she looking a littlebelow average.

Monte (58:03):
Damn, bruh.
Cause that's got who that's gota that's got the potential for
my kids to have that.
What you mean have what?
The looks average.

Ant (58:16):
She said that.
Nah, below average.
But but that's what I'm saying.
But the same thing is for thewoman who's beautiful.
Now, when you get up and leavethe house with her, you know
you're getting compliments,everybody gonna look your way,
da da da.
It's great.
Y'all look good.

Monte (58:27):
Yeah, but you can see chicken like Krishna Rock, bro.
No.

Ant (58:32):
Yeah, so stuff like that.
I'm serious.
Stuff like that, though.
Like she eats chicken likethat, she don't clean up at
herself.
She like dishes, dishes,laundry.
I didn't say she ain't havehygiene.
That's right.
That's sanitation.
I'm talking about just homelife skills.
Like, she don't clean up thekitchen, she don't cook as it
could be some stuff like that.

Uniq (58:55):
I wanted to say real quick, and spin it on, like, you
also gotta think about her aher ability to be able to learn,
but also be a sponge andexorbit and be able to apply it.
Because if that's if that'ssomething that she can do, man,
that's that's a dhamma doesn't.
Yeah.

Monte (59:15):
But the thing about that is Alright, so when you think of
when you think about somethinglike that, a person gonna learn
good manners from somewhere.
Even if if they a sponge, theyain't gonna take just the bad
manners that they getting fromhome.
They gonna find it somewhere.

(59:36):
They gonna find it from a TVshow and be like, huh.

Uniq (59:39):
But you ain't never seen nobody that was had a horrible
family one you you know I'msaying like let's say you met a
nice guy in school.
You probably have somebody inschool like this.
Nice guy, and then you see whohis family and who he's attached
to, his mom and his father, andthey just look like trash.
They act like trash, and he's akind boy.

(59:59):
Or girl, stuff like that.
You're like, damn, how did heget this?
Where do we learn this from?
Because it's like, for me.

Monte (01:00:07):
He had horrible examples.
For me, I had a father whowasn't really there.
But I thought to myself, Inever will treat my kid like
that.
That's where that comes from.
It's like I ain't not gonna belike them.
That's what that's some nerdsbe coming from abusive places,

(01:00:29):
you know what I'm saying?
Homes and stuff, because theylike, man, look, I'm finna get
out of this world.
I'm finna, I'm finna dowhatever I can to get away from
this bull crap.
So it it sometimes they comefrom trauma, you know what I'm
saying?
Like being being opposite andand learning manners and stuff.
So, but like like you say, thatwoman would have to be

(01:00:51):
receptive to that.
She'd be, she'd she'd have tobe the sponge, or you wouldn't,
you ain't gonna like you're notgonna keep teaching somebody
that ain't listening.
You feel me?
Like, but that's where I comefrom.
That's where I look at thosetypes of situations.
Like, are they gonna listen?
And you're gonna, that's gonnabe a lot of time wasted.

Ant (01:01:10):
A lot.
But some people, and so that'sthe thing, we just to tie back
to something we was talkingabout earlier.
That's the whole point of likenot showing up with your
representative and then tryingto look through other people's
representative.
Because a lot of people in thebeginning are trying to win you
over, they're not trying to bethemselves, they're trying to
figure out what's the bestposition I can put myself in to

(01:01:31):
make sure that this person don'tgo nowhere.
Right.
Make sure that this personstick around, still rock with
me, and stuff like that.
So you got to kind of pick up.
But you that I think that'spart the part of it is having a
level of discernment to knowwhat type of people you're even
supposed to allow close to you.
That's why we're supposed totake it more seriously.
Like when we talk about beingsocial or even on the dating

(01:01:51):
scene, you're supposed to cutpeople off quick.
You're supposed to get them upout of here because that's what
that's when bad stuff happened.
When you let people stickaround too long, you know what
I'm saying?
You ain't you ain't cut itwhere we're supposed to.
Yeah, you you looked over toomany red flags, now you like, oh
dang, hot getting thissituation.
Yeah, like and we reallysupposed to cut that off at the
at the jump.
Oh, okay, they said it was aone-time thing.

(01:02:12):
It don't even matter.

Monte (01:02:13):
Like at that point, like okay, but that's it's it's
people, bruh.
Yeah, they like that shit.
Yeah, they like that shit.
They like the fact that, oh, webroke up and now we back
together, but now y'all don'treally like each other.
But you know what I'm saying?

Ant (01:02:30):
All right, hold on.
I feel like we should use thisas an opportunity to wrap up.
Let's give some people someadvice because I feel like all
of us have been in a situationwhere things have gotten
abusive, whether it wasphysically or emotionally or
like verbally, regardless of howit popped up, we've been in a
situation where it was toxic andwe can recognize this is a very
toxic situation for me.

(01:02:51):
So give give the people someadvice.
What's something people shouldlook for or people should avoid
doing during that like datingphase that'll help them avoid
getting into a bad spot?
What y'all think that is?
I know it, I know it's deep,and maybe I maybe I'll I'll I'll
I'll leave because give y'alltime to think I'm starting

(01:03:11):
actually thinking of this.
For me personally, I think thatif we got into the habit of
reflecting after we had eitherconversations with these people
or meetups with these people,and legitimately asked ourselves
just simple questions.
How did I feel about that?
How do I feel like this couldhave gone better?

(01:03:32):
Do I feel like this is theperson that I'm looking for?
And I as little stuff likethat, bruh.
And if you actually answerthose questions, honestly, you
would get yourself out of a lotof situations.
But what we do is we hang on tostuff that don't matter.
Man, I feel like we really wasvibing tonight.
What does that have to do withthis person's long time ability
to be in your life?

(01:03:52):
If they if y'all vibe tonight.
Oh, we ain't argue one timetoday.
Why is that the score cheat,nigga?
Like, why is it that you had toget to a point where you didn't
argue with this motherfucker?
Versus you why how do we evenget to a point where we looking
forward to that?
Why when did you startaccepting those things?
And that's the thing.
We don't even, we couldn't eventell you.

(01:04:13):
When did you start acceptingthat badass behavior?
Shit.
It's always been like that.
How did they make it past thefirst step?
Like, and that's where I justwant us to like just stop, get
yourself some time, reflect onthat situation.
You met this new person.
Are they, did they just exciteyou?
Or do you feel like theylegitimately are a good person
and you could you could carrythem with you through life?

(01:04:35):
Legit.

Uniq (01:04:36):
Yeah.

Ant (01:04:36):
What what advice should I get?

Uniq (01:04:39):
Mine can be short, but it's like from my experience and
what I've uh gathered from mypast relationships and stuff.
As soon as there's a personthat you're talking to, that
you're dating, is not receptiveto how you how they've made you

(01:05:01):
feel.
I'm not saying listen, I'msaying receptive, meaning
they're receiving it, they'retalking and communicating it
back to you, and that tries tounderstand what they've done.
No matter if they feel thatthey haven't done any wrong,
they need to be receptive ofthat and hear you.

(01:05:21):
So that person is not doingthat and they have a rebuttal,
go ahead and nix it because nowthey're trying not they're not
trying to grow and help and bewith you and uh change and do
things better.
It rocks with that.
I agree with that.

Monte (01:05:38):
For me, I'm gonna say communicate when you're tired
and unhappy.
Because what people usually dois they just keep going and say,
well, hopefully it'll getbetter, you know.
But if you unhappy and you'renot communicating, you unhappy,
that person don't know thatyou're unhappy.

(01:05:59):
You might be and doing all thattype of stuff, but they might
think that you just, you know,like you just being you.
So you need to communicate,like if you don't, if you tired
of this person, and it might bethe smallest thing, you know
what I'm saying?
Like, it could be the smallestthing that somebody could change
and make you the happiestyou've ever been, but you gotta

(01:06:21):
communicate that.
I don't know if you unhappyunless you tell me you're
unhappy.
Because most of the time peoplejust go out and just live their
lives and be unhappy, you knowwhat I'm saying, and pretend
that they're happy.
So I would say communicate.
Communicate, you gotta kind ofsay F how this person's okay,

(01:06:41):
most people say this is how thisperson's gonna react.
You don't know how you theperson gonna react until you do
it.
Stop assuming, right?
Allegations, you know, stopassuming and go for it,
especially if it's internal toyourself.
Like, that's that's one thingabout emotional intelligence.
You gotta be, you gotta like,you gotta know yourself, and

(01:07:04):
then you gotta be able tocommunicate how you feeling.
Because if you sitting thereholding it in, what's the what's
that's gonna do?
It's just gonna make you moreupset and you're gonna
internally, you're just gonnablow up.
So you know what I'm saying?
Just communicate and everythingwill be okay, or maybe not, but
do it.

Ant (01:07:24):
I I'll rock with it.
I feel like y'all got somesolid advice, though.
I feel like from differentperspectives too.
But this ain't the only timewe'll be able to give y'all some
advice on this subject.
It's a lot of no datingconundrums out there that we
definitely gonna touch base on.
But I appreciate y'all rockingwith us, man.
Let us know how this season hasbeen.
We got some new vibes fory'all, new structure.
So we definitely need somefeedback.

(01:07:45):
Uh, but this has been anotherepisode of the Trinity Trophies
Podcast.
Y'all got anything before weget up out of here?
Nah, man.

Monte (01:07:54):
Your sister just said she wouldn't date a nigga like me
back in the day.

Ant (01:07:58):
She wouldn't date a lot of niggas like a lot of us.
All right, we uh,

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