June 4, 2025 • 20 mins
What if the very thing you're avoiding is the thing that sets you free?
In this solo episode, I’m pulling back the curtain on a conversation that’s long overdue — especially in the self-help, coaching, and creative entrepreneurship world. We’ve been sold a watered-down version of alignment that’s starting to feel like permission to do nothing.
But let me say it loud and clear:
💥 Discipline is not punishment. It’s how you protect your joy.
💥 Alignment without action is just avoidance in disguise.
I’m sharing hard truths, neuroscience-backed insights, and stories from my own clients about what really changes when you stop waiting to feel ready — and start choosing to lead yourself with intention.
You’ll walk away with:
- A powerful reframe on what “flow” actually means
- Why your brain is always looking for proof — and how to give it better clues
- How discipline builds actual freedom, not burnout
- The difference between following joy and chasing comfort
- And why “motivation” isn’t your missing piece — devotion is
If you’re tired of dancing around your potential and ready to actually live it — this one’s for you.
IS ELEVATE RIGHT FOR YOU?
Elevate is special. It's a group I absolutely love coaching and it's for the female photographer who needs help with both her mindset and her marketing. She's not afraid to be a little vulnerable. She's open to new ideas and is also interested in being a support for other women like her. She's brave, kind and believes that there is room for all of us. She's a badass. She's fun and funny and not afraid to do the work. This you? Apply HERE.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to Tried and True with a Dash of Woo, where
we blend rock-solid tips with alittle bit of magic.
I'm Renee Bowen, your host,life and business coach and
professional photographer atyour service.
We are all about gettingcreative, diving into your
business and playing withmanifestation over here.
So are you ready to getinspired and have some fun?
Let's dive in.
Hey friends, welcome back toTried and True with a dash of
(00:27):
woo.
I am your host, renee Bowen.
Thanks for joining me here.
This week's episode is audioonly.
It's still going to be onYouTube, but it's just audio.
It's not a video.
So it's all good.
But today's episode is a littlebit of a love letter and a
little bit of a kick in thepants for y'all, because I think
(00:48):
we need to talk about somethingwe've been getting very wrong
in the self-help, the coaching,the creative entrepreneur space
in general.
I think that we've confusedalignment with inaction, we've
confused flow with laziness andwe've decided that ease means
(01:10):
effortless and, as a result,we're burning out in new ways by
not doing anything at all.
So let's talk about the versionof discipline that no one's
telling you about, the one thatactually is the magic, in my
opinion.
So there's this lie that wetell ourselves that goes a
little bit like well, I'll move,I'll take action, I'll do
(01:33):
something when it feels right,okay.
Well, there's this trend allover TikTok, instagram social,
just in general, people talkingabout quitting hustle culture,
reclaiming their rest, living inalignment.
And listen, I get it.
I love that, actually, and Ialso teach about unconscious
reprogramming.
(01:54):
I live by energy cycles andstrategy.
I really, really believe inflow.
I do.
But let's not forget,discipline and alignment are not
opposites.
In fact, discipline is whatcreates alignment.
Flow without direction is justfloating.
So think of your goals like ariver.
(02:14):
Yes, the water wants to moveforward, but without a riverbed,
without structure, it floods.
Structure, it floods.
There's chaos, distraction,self-doubt, no direction.
But you don't need hustle, youneed rhythm.
So you need the kind of dailydevotion to your vision that
doesn't rely on a good mood,that doesn't need 100% certainty
(02:39):
, that just needs you to show up.
Simon Sinek says it best wedon't get confidence and then
take action.
We take action and thenconfidence shows up.
Okay, so the brain is wired forstory, and if the story you're
repeating to yourself is I'llstart when I'm ready, you're
(03:01):
programming yourself to staystuck.
But let me tell you a storyabout one of my coaching
students.
She's a brilliant photographer,amazing eye, huge heart, but
totally frozen in perfectionism.
She told herself I'll post whenI know what to say, I'll launch
something when I have it allmapped out.
And guess what?
She stayed stuck for a reallylong time.
(03:24):
We're talking years.
And guess what?
She stayed stuck for a reallylong time.
We're talking years.
And then she got into coachingand I asked her what if your
future doesn't come with a sign?
What if the clarity that you'rewaiting for only shows up after
you move, so that one mindsetshift from needing evidence to
creating evidence?
That changed everything for her.
(03:45):
She started showing up,imperfectly but consistently,
and that consistency builtmomentum, it built trust and,
yeah, it built income.
Because now she's doing all thethings that she started talking
about when she entered coachingwith me three years ago.
She's definitely made moneythat whole time, but now this
(04:06):
vision, this thing that she hasbeen conjuring up, this whole
other side of her business isstarting to take off, and that's
so cool.
But it's because she put in thework, she started taking action
.
She started before.
It was perfect, she didn't justwait for things to feel right.
So I want to talk to you alittle bit about the discipline
(04:28):
that looks like freedom, becausehere's where we flip the script
.
Discipline is not punishment,and I think a lot of us maybe
you know as Gen Xers especiallysort of associate discipline
with punishment.
Okay, but it's not.
It's really not rigid.
It's not about pushing yourselfinto burnout.
(04:50):
It's the structure that allowsyour creativity to thrive.
Think about an elite athlete.
They don't just train hard,they recover with intention.
They know when to go hard andwhen to pull back and when to
rest.
Discipline is rhythmic.
It's self-respect in action.
(05:10):
So when you make promises toyourself and you keep them, even
when and especially when noone's watching, you become
someone you can trust, and whenyou can trust yourself, the fear
of failure loses its grip.
Discipline is devotion to yourfuture self.
It's choosing the action todaythat benefits the version of you
(05:32):
you haven't even met yet.
Too many people feel likediscipline is punishment, and I
know that a lot of us have avery loud inner saboteur.
That isn't very nice, and so ifyou have a belief that
discipline is wrong or bad oranti-freedom, then it's going to
(05:54):
feed into that self-saboteur,that really loud voice that
tells you you're not good enough, it's going to make it really
easy for you to beat yourself up, and that's the opposite of
what we're going for here,because I want you to remember
that feelings are signals.
They're not steering wheels.
Okay, your emotions are sacred.
They're not your GPSnecessarily.
(06:17):
Feeling tired doesn't alwaysmean you need to quit.
Feeling unmotivated doesn'tmean you're misaligned.
It means you're human.
Okay, it means you haveemotions.
Emotions are like a dashboardwarning light.
They're asking you to payattention, but not to panic.
You can feel resistance andstill move.
(06:38):
You can feel self-doubt andstill make a post.
You can feel stuck and stilltake the next right step.
That's what emotional maturitylooks like.
That's what consciousleadership looks like and that's
what builds actual momentum.
It's not just hype.
We have like 60,000 plusthoughts a day.
(07:01):
You can't control every singlethought that comes in,
especially those of us with veryactive brains, but you can
control which ones stick around,because the ones that are not
so great they attract friendsalways Okay.
So if you are not verydisciplined in what you're
(07:21):
allowing in your field and I'mtalking about your energetic
field right now then if youallow some sort of like
self-doubt to seep in, it canstart really small, but that is
a very, very slippery slope,because the minute you let any
of that doubt or, you know,disdain or judgment or any of
(07:47):
those low vibrational things in,you're just inviting more of
their friends because you'regoing to find proof of whatever
you're looking for.
And if you're surroundingyourself with all of that stuff,
then you're just going to keepfinding more of that.
So it's really important to stayvery, very hardcore with your
thoughts like that and realizethat you're going to have
(08:09):
emotions.
You are a human being.
Okay, you're going to haveemotions.
You are a human being.
You're going to have bad days.
This is not about just glossingover everything and thinking
that everything is going to befine and dandy because you're
ignoring all the crap that'sactually happening in the world
or in your personal life.
It's about noticing thatsitting with it Okay, nobody
(08:33):
really wants to sit with itthese days Like if you look
around, you're going to find amillion different ways to numb
out, the biggest one beingsocial media.
You know, our phones are likethe easiest numbing out machine
that's ever been created,because it's an easy distraction
and it's an endless wheel ofdistraction.
So the more you allow yourselfto get sucked into all of that
(08:56):
stuff, the easier it's going tobe, you know, to get sucked in
and the harder it's going to befor you to be disciplined and
realize that this is not for myhighest good.
Being on my phone all day isjust keeping me from moving the
needle on what else I need to doin my business and in my life.
And this is where thatself-awareness really comes into
(09:19):
play.
There's so many tools that wecan use to develop our
self-awareness, and the moreself-aware that we are, the more
we know ourselves and not judgeourselves, the faster we can
get what we want and the fasterwe're going to have clarity.
Just in general, because ifyou're stuck, you're probably
(09:42):
waiting too long.
Right, if you're feeling stuckin your business or in your life
right now, there's a goodchance it's because you're
waiting, waiting to feel ready,waiting for the perfect moment,
waiting for the fear to go away,waiting for certainty Okay, but
let me be real with you for asecond.
(10:02):
Readiness is a by-product ofmovement, it's not a
prerequisite.
The best thing you can do foryourself right now is decide
that the next version of youdoesn't arrive with fanfare.
She arrives with small steps,taken over and over and over
(10:22):
again, even on days when it'shard.
So make the call, send theemail, post the damn thing.
You're not lazy and you're notbroken.
You're just a little scared,and that's okay.
Don't confuse alignment withavoidance.
True freedom doesn't come fromfloating.
It comes from following through, because you will get more
(10:44):
confident the more you do it,and you will find proof of
whatever you're looking for.
It's not just mumbo jumbo.
It is literally the way ourbrains are wired.
Your brain is a detective, sojust give it better clues.
I know you've heard people saythings like what you focus on
grows, expands, right.
Well, let's break that downinto why that's actually true.
(11:07):
It's not just a cute quote foryour journal, so let's talk
about why that's actually true.
Your brain is wired to makemeaning.
It's always scanning, alwaystrying to answer the question is
this safe, is this familiar andwhat does this mean about me?
(11:28):
So if the story that you'rerepeating is I'm always behind,
nothing ever works out for me,no one wants to pay my prices,
your brain is going to keepsaying okay, got it, let me go
find proof of that.
It starts filtering your worldto match that story, because
it's the reticular activatingsystem in your brain.
It's a filter.
So you scroll social and youonly notice the photographers
(11:49):
who are booked out.
You get one inquiry thatghosted you and you take it as a
sign.
You ignore the person who didsay I've been watching you and
I'm ready to work with youbecause you've already decided
you're invisible.
But the truth is that your braindoesn't care if the story is
helpful, it just believeswhatever you feed it most
(12:10):
consistently.
So that's why, when my clientsstart saying things like clients
always come to me at just theright time, I'm building
something that's working, evenif I can't see all the results
yet.
Their results are starting tochange because their actions
change.
They post more, they show updifferently on calls, they talk
(12:30):
about their offers like theybelieve in them because they
actually do.
It lights them up.
Literally, our only job in lifeis to follow the joy.
Is this going to be fun?
And is this going to be?
You know something that lightsme up?
Okay, yes, do that.
Follow the path of joy.
And a metaphor that I reallylove is imagining your mind like
(12:52):
a search engine, right?
So if you type in why does mybusiness suck?
Well, guess what kind ofanswers you're going to get okay
.
And if you ask, how is thisactually working out for me
right now, you're going to get awhole different set of data for
that.
It's the same thing with ChatGPT.
By the way, too many of youguys are using chat GPT as just
(13:13):
like a hype person.
You haven't trained it toreally challenge you and to give
you or to ask you the rightquestions, and it's just
literally giving you like oh myGod, this is so fire, this is
going to be amazing, you'regoing to kill this because
that's how you've programmed it.
So it's the same thing withyour reticular activating system
(13:36):
in your brain.
Your job is not to wait forproof.
Your job is to train your brainto collect better evidence, and
the only way to do that is tobe really disciplined.
You've already survived hardthings.
You've already had a yes inyour life.
You've had moments of bravery.
Use those things as yourbaseline, not the fear, because
(13:57):
when you do that consistently,you start becoming the proof
that you were waiting for andyou stop waiting altogether.
But let's talk real quick beforewe wrap up about joy for a
second, because I know I justmentioned that and because
somewhere along the way you knowthat whole follow your joy
thing I think got twisted intoonly do what feels good right
(14:21):
now.
And I love joy.
I believe in joy.
I believe that, like I saidbefore, we should be following
it.
But it is not the same thing ascomplacency, okay, because real
joy often requires discomfort.
First.
You know what's joyful Buildinga business that supports your
family, waking up knowing thatyou're proud of how you lead,
(14:44):
feeling deeply in alignment withwhat you're creating in the
world.
But you know what's not joyfulin the moment Sending the email
when you feel cringy inside,re-recording your offer video
because you know it didn't landthe first time and you want it
to saying no to things that arefine so you can hold space for
(15:07):
something really great.
That's not bypassing your joy.
That's protecting it.
Discipline is not restriction.
That's the thing that I reallywant you guys to get from this
episode today.
Discipline is what createsfreedom, because if you're only
doing things that feel good inthe moment, you're not actually
(15:27):
following joy, you're followingdopamine.
There's a difference.
You're chasing comfort.
You're reacting, not responding.
You're avoiding the edge.
And guess what lives at theedge?
Your next level.
So joy is not like just a fluffyemotion.
It's not a bubble bath.
It's not a free pass fromchallenge.
(15:48):
It's what emerges when you keeppromises to yourself.
It's the byproduct of alignmentand action together.
And, yes, it requires sacrifice.
Sometimes it means sayingthings like I don't like it
today, but I do like being proudof myself tomorrow.
That's the kind of joy thatsticks, that builds resilience,
(16:11):
that makes people magnetized toyour energy, because you're not
waiting for the perfectconditions.
You're becoming the person whocreates them, that version of
you who's out there living thelife that you want, that you're
dreaming of.
She's not lounging, she'sleading, she's showing up while
the fear is loud, she's choosingflow over frenzy, but she's
(16:35):
still in motion because sheknows that comfort isn't the
goal.
Clarity is, integrity is,freedom is, and all of that is
found through disciplinedisguised as devotion.
So, yes, follow your joy, butdon't confuse that with avoiding
growth, don't confuse that withwaiting for it to feel easy,
(16:56):
because it's never going to.
And if you're ready to stopdancing around your potential
and actually live into it, I'vegot something for you.
As you probably know, I coachhigh achieving creatives
photographers, artists, coacheswho are tired of starting and
stopping, who are done with theguessing and who are ready to
actually become the version ofthemselves they keep seeing in
(17:17):
their mind.
But you don't have to do italone.
Okay, coaching with me is thenext right step If you're
craving clarity, confidence andmomentum with soul.
I only have one spot open rightnow for one-on-one coaching, but
I am also re-enrolling myamazing and super
transformational group coachingprogram called Elevate this
(17:38):
month.
It is a six-month coachingprogram, so you'll be signing up
now and starting with us inJuly and it goes through
December.
You get two calls with me amonth, but you get ongoing Voxer
support with me, which is likehaving me a coach in your pocket
, and there's so many goodthings in this membership For
the price point.
It's kind of ridiculousactually.
(17:58):
So I will post the link belowin the show notes and you guys
can go check it out.
There is an application becauseit's not for everybody and
there's not that many spots open.
I don't actually talk aboutElevate that much because I am
super protective of our space.
Most of these femalephotographers who are in the
group with me have been workingwith me for three, four years or
(18:19):
longer, and I'm reallyprotective of the energy of the
group.
It's also only for femalephotographers and those who have
been in business for a littlebit.
So it's not for you.
If you are brand new, if you'rebrand new, one-on-one would be
amazing for you, because I canwalk you through, I can give you
the roadmap, and then whathappens more often than not is
(18:41):
that my one-on-one clients endup heading into Elevate after
they coach with me, because it'sgreat for ongoing
accountability and coaching and,like I said before, the group
is pretty amazing.
There's a lot of vulnerableshares in there.
We get very close.
It's a special group.
So if you are interested inthat, just head below.
(19:03):
There's a lot of vulnerableshares in there.
We get very close.
It's a special group.
So if you are interested inthat, just head below.
There's a link and you can findout more.
You can fill out theapplication and we may even have
to have a little quick chatabout it, but if you feel
interested in it, there's areally good chance that it is
the right spot for you.
So don't be afraid, just reachout.
I hope what you take from thisepisode is that you're not
broken for needing discipline.
You're just being called to ahigher level of leadership, the
(19:24):
version of you who has what youwant.
Okay, she didn't wait till shefelt ready.
She decided everything's adecision and that's your
invitation.
Now too, you just have to catchup to her invitation.
Now too, you just have to catchup to her.
The universe is not asking youto be perfect, just present.
(19:49):
Okay, your joy deservesstructure, your purpose deserves
consistency, and your nextlevel is just waiting on your
yes.
And I also hope this challengedyou a little bit, okay, cause
the life you want isn't waitingon motivation.
It's waiting on your devotionand your decision, and you're
ready for that.
Whether it feels like you areor not, this episode might be
your sign.
Okay, and if you're ready tostop circling the edge and
(20:13):
finally go all in, I'd love towalk you through that.
I hope you guys have afantastic week.
Be good to yourself.
Love you Bye.
Welcome to Tried and True with a Dash of Woo, where
we blend rock-solid tips with alittle bit of magic.
I'm Renee Bowen, your host,life and business coach and
professional photographer atyour service.
We are all about gettingcreative, diving into your
business and playing withmanifestation over here.
So are you ready to getinspired and have some fun?
Let's dive in.
Hey friends, welcome back toTried and True with a dash of
(00:27):
woo.
I am your host, renee Bowen.
Thanks for joining me here.
This week's episode is audioonly.
It's still going to be onYouTube, but it's just audio.
It's not a video.
So it's all good.
But today's episode is a littlebit of a love letter and a
little bit of a kick in thepants for y'all, because I think
(00:48):
we need to talk about somethingwe've been getting very wrong
in the self-help, the coaching,the creative entrepreneur space
in general.
I think that we've confusedalignment with inaction, we've
confused flow with laziness andwe've decided that ease means
(01:10):
effortless and, as a result,we're burning out in new ways by
not doing anything at all.
So let's talk about the versionof discipline that no one's
telling you about, the one thatactually is the magic, in my
opinion.
So there's this lie that wetell ourselves that goes a
little bit like well, I'll move,I'll take action, I'll do
(01:33):
something when it feels right,okay.
Well, there's this trend allover TikTok, instagram social,
just in general, people talkingabout quitting hustle culture,
reclaiming their rest, living inalignment.
And listen, I get it.
I love that, actually, and Ialso teach about unconscious
reprogramming.
(01:54):
I live by energy cycles andstrategy.
I really, really believe inflow.
I do.
But let's not forget,discipline and alignment are not
opposites.
In fact, discipline is whatcreates alignment.
Flow without direction is justfloating.
So think of your goals like ariver.
(02:14):
Yes, the water wants to moveforward, but without a riverbed,
without structure, it floods.
Structure, it floods.
There's chaos, distraction,self-doubt, no direction.
But you don't need hustle, youneed rhythm.
So you need the kind of dailydevotion to your vision that
doesn't rely on a good mood,that doesn't need 100% certainty
(02:39):
, that just needs you to show up.
Simon Sinek says it best wedon't get confidence and then
take action.
We take action and thenconfidence shows up.
Okay, so the brain is wired forstory, and if the story you're
repeating to yourself is I'llstart when I'm ready, you're
(03:01):
programming yourself to staystuck.
But let me tell you a storyabout one of my coaching
students.
She's a brilliant photographer,amazing eye, huge heart, but
totally frozen in perfectionism.
She told herself I'll post whenI know what to say, I'll launch
something when I have it allmapped out.
And guess what?
She stayed stuck for a reallylong time.
(03:24):
We're talking years.
And guess what?
She stayed stuck for a reallylong time.
We're talking years.
And then she got into coachingand I asked her what if your
future doesn't come with a sign?
What if the clarity that you'rewaiting for only shows up after
you move, so that one mindsetshift from needing evidence to
creating evidence?
That changed everything for her.
(03:45):
She started showing up,imperfectly but consistently,
and that consistency builtmomentum, it built trust and,
yeah, it built income.
Because now she's doing all thethings that she started talking
about when she entered coachingwith me three years ago.
She's definitely made moneythat whole time, but now this
(04:06):
vision, this thing that she hasbeen conjuring up, this whole
other side of her business isstarting to take off, and that's
so cool.
But it's because she put in thework, she started taking action
.
She started before.
It was perfect, she didn't justwait for things to feel right.
So I want to talk to you alittle bit about the discipline
(04:28):
that looks like freedom, becausehere's where we flip the script
.
Discipline is not punishment,and I think a lot of us maybe
you know as Gen Xers especiallysort of associate discipline
with punishment.
Okay, but it's not.
It's really not rigid.
It's not about pushing yourselfinto burnout.
(04:50):
It's the structure that allowsyour creativity to thrive.
Think about an elite athlete.
They don't just train hard,they recover with intention.
They know when to go hard andwhen to pull back and when to
rest.
Discipline is rhythmic.
It's self-respect in action.
(05:10):
So when you make promises toyourself and you keep them, even
when and especially when noone's watching, you become
someone you can trust, and whenyou can trust yourself, the fear
of failure loses its grip.
Discipline is devotion to yourfuture self.
It's choosing the action todaythat benefits the version of you
(05:32):
you haven't even met yet.
Too many people feel likediscipline is punishment, and I
know that a lot of us have avery loud inner saboteur.
That isn't very nice, and so ifyou have a belief that
discipline is wrong or bad oranti-freedom, then it's going to
(05:54):
feed into that self-saboteur,that really loud voice that
tells you you're not good enough, it's going to make it really
easy for you to beat yourself up, and that's the opposite of
what we're going for here,because I want you to remember
that feelings are signals.
They're not steering wheels.
Okay, your emotions are sacred.
They're not your GPSnecessarily.
(06:17):
Feeling tired doesn't alwaysmean you need to quit.
Feeling unmotivated doesn'tmean you're misaligned.
It means you're human.
Okay, it means you haveemotions.
Emotions are like a dashboardwarning light.
They're asking you to payattention, but not to panic.
You can feel resistance andstill move.
(06:38):
You can feel self-doubt andstill make a post.
You can feel stuck and stilltake the next right step.
That's what emotional maturitylooks like.
That's what consciousleadership looks like and that's
what builds actual momentum.
It's not just hype.
We have like 60,000 plusthoughts a day.
(07:01):
You can't control every singlethought that comes in,
especially those of us with veryactive brains, but you can
control which ones stick around,because the ones that are not
so great they attract friendsalways Okay.
So if you are not verydisciplined in what you're
(07:21):
allowing in your field and I'mtalking about your energetic
field right now then if youallow some sort of like
self-doubt to seep in, it canstart really small, but that is
a very, very slippery slope,because the minute you let any
of that doubt or, you know,disdain or judgment or any of
(07:47):
those low vibrational things in,you're just inviting more of
their friends because you'regoing to find proof of whatever
you're looking for.
And if you're surroundingyourself with all of that stuff,
then you're just going to keepfinding more of that.
So it's really important to stayvery, very hardcore with your
thoughts like that and realizethat you're going to have
(08:09):
emotions.
You are a human being.
Okay, you're going to haveemotions.
You are a human being.
You're going to have bad days.
This is not about just glossingover everything and thinking
that everything is going to befine and dandy because you're
ignoring all the crap that'sactually happening in the world
or in your personal life.
It's about noticing thatsitting with it Okay, nobody
(08:33):
really wants to sit with itthese days Like if you look
around, you're going to find amillion different ways to numb
out, the biggest one beingsocial media.
You know, our phones are likethe easiest numbing out machine
that's ever been created,because it's an easy distraction
and it's an endless wheel ofdistraction.
So the more you allow yourselfto get sucked into all of that
(08:56):
stuff, the easier it's going tobe, you know, to get sucked in
and the harder it's going to befor you to be disciplined and
realize that this is not for myhighest good.
Being on my phone all day isjust keeping me from moving the
needle on what else I need to doin my business and in my life.
And this is where thatself-awareness really comes into
(09:19):
play.
There's so many tools that wecan use to develop our
self-awareness, and the moreself-aware that we are, the more
we know ourselves and not judgeourselves, the faster we can
get what we want and the fasterwe're going to have clarity.
Just in general, because ifyou're stuck, you're probably
(09:42):
waiting too long.
Right, if you're feeling stuckin your business or in your life
right now, there's a goodchance it's because you're
waiting, waiting to feel ready,waiting for the perfect moment,
waiting for the fear to go away,waiting for certainty Okay, but
let me be real with you for asecond.
(10:02):
Readiness is a by-product ofmovement, it's not a
prerequisite.
The best thing you can do foryourself right now is decide
that the next version of youdoesn't arrive with fanfare.
She arrives with small steps,taken over and over and over
(10:22):
again, even on days when it'shard.
So make the call, send theemail, post the damn thing.
You're not lazy and you're notbroken.
You're just a little scared,and that's okay.
Don't confuse alignment withavoidance.
True freedom doesn't come fromfloating.
It comes from following through, because you will get more
(10:44):
confident the more you do it,and you will find proof of
whatever you're looking for.
It's not just mumbo jumbo.
It is literally the way ourbrains are wired.
Your brain is a detective, sojust give it better clues.
I know you've heard people saythings like what you focus on
grows, expands, right.
Well, let's break that downinto why that's actually true.
(11:07):
It's not just a cute quote foryour journal, so let's talk
about why that's actually true.
Your brain is wired to makemeaning.
It's always scanning, alwaystrying to answer the question is
this safe, is this familiar andwhat does this mean about me?
(11:28):
So if the story that you'rerepeating is I'm always behind,
nothing ever works out for me,no one wants to pay my prices,
your brain is going to keepsaying okay, got it, let me go
find proof of that.
It starts filtering your worldto match that story, because
it's the reticular activatingsystem in your brain.
It's a filter.
So you scroll social and youonly notice the photographers
(11:49):
who are booked out.
You get one inquiry thatghosted you and you take it as a
sign.
You ignore the person who didsay I've been watching you and
I'm ready to work with youbecause you've already decided
you're invisible.
But the truth is that your braindoesn't care if the story is
helpful, it just believeswhatever you feed it most
(12:10):
consistently.
So that's why, when my clientsstart saying things like clients
always come to me at just theright time, I'm building
something that's working, evenif I can't see all the results
yet.
Their results are starting tochange because their actions
change.
They post more, they show updifferently on calls, they talk
(12:30):
about their offers like theybelieve in them because they
actually do.
It lights them up.
Literally, our only job in lifeis to follow the joy.
Is this going to be fun?
And is this going to be?
You know something that lightsme up?
Okay, yes, do that.
Follow the path of joy.
And a metaphor that I reallylove is imagining your mind like
(12:52):
a search engine, right?
So if you type in why does mybusiness suck?
Well, guess what kind ofanswers you're going to get okay
.
And if you ask, how is thisactually working out for me
right now, you're going to get awhole different set of data for
that.
It's the same thing with ChatGPT.
By the way, too many of youguys are using chat GPT as just
(13:13):
like a hype person.
You haven't trained it toreally challenge you and to give
you or to ask you the rightquestions, and it's just
literally giving you like oh myGod, this is so fire, this is
going to be amazing, you'regoing to kill this because
that's how you've programmed it.
So it's the same thing withyour reticular activating system
(13:36):
in your brain.
Your job is not to wait forproof.
Your job is to train your brainto collect better evidence, and
the only way to do that is tobe really disciplined.
You've already survived hardthings.
You've already had a yes inyour life.
You've had moments of bravery.
Use those things as yourbaseline, not the fear, because
(13:57):
when you do that consistently,you start becoming the proof
that you were waiting for andyou stop waiting altogether.
But let's talk real quick beforewe wrap up about joy for a
second, because I know I justmentioned that and because
somewhere along the way you knowthat whole follow your joy
thing I think got twisted intoonly do what feels good right
(14:21):
now.
And I love joy.
I believe in joy.
I believe that, like I saidbefore, we should be following
it.
But it is not the same thing ascomplacency, okay, because real
joy often requires discomfort.
First.
You know what's joyful Buildinga business that supports your
family, waking up knowing thatyou're proud of how you lead,
(14:44):
feeling deeply in alignment withwhat you're creating in the
world.
But you know what's not joyfulin the moment Sending the email
when you feel cringy inside,re-recording your offer video
because you know it didn't landthe first time and you want it
to saying no to things that arefine so you can hold space for
(15:07):
something really great.
That's not bypassing your joy.
That's protecting it.
Discipline is not restriction.
That's the thing that I reallywant you guys to get from this
episode today.
Discipline is what createsfreedom, because if you're only
doing things that feel good inthe moment, you're not actually
(15:27):
following joy, you're followingdopamine.
There's a difference.
You're chasing comfort.
You're reacting, not responding.
You're avoiding the edge.
And guess what lives at theedge?
Your next level.
So joy is not like just a fluffyemotion.
It's not a bubble bath.
It's not a free pass fromchallenge.
(15:48):
It's what emerges when you keeppromises to yourself.
It's the byproduct of alignmentand action together.
And, yes, it requires sacrifice.
Sometimes it means sayingthings like I don't like it
today, but I do like being proudof myself tomorrow.
That's the kind of joy thatsticks, that builds resilience,
(16:11):
that makes people magnetized toyour energy, because you're not
waiting for the perfectconditions.
You're becoming the person whocreates them, that version of
you who's out there living thelife that you want, that you're
dreaming of.
She's not lounging, she'sleading, she's showing up while
the fear is loud, she's choosingflow over frenzy, but she's
(16:35):
still in motion because sheknows that comfort isn't the
goal.
Clarity is, integrity is,freedom is, and all of that is
found through disciplinedisguised as devotion.
So, yes, follow your joy, butdon't confuse that with avoiding
growth, don't confuse that withwaiting for it to feel easy,
(16:56):
because it's never going to.
And if you're ready to stopdancing around your potential
and actually live into it, I'vegot something for you.
As you probably know, I coachhigh achieving creatives
photographers, artists, coacheswho are tired of starting and
stopping, who are done with theguessing and who are ready to
actually become the version ofthemselves they keep seeing in
(17:17):
their mind.
But you don't have to do italone.
Okay, coaching with me is thenext right step If you're
craving clarity, confidence andmomentum with soul.
I only have one spot open rightnow for one-on-one coaching, but
I am also re-enrolling myamazing and super
transformational group coachingprogram called Elevate this
(17:38):
month.
It is a six-month coachingprogram, so you'll be signing up
now and starting with us inJuly and it goes through
December.
You get two calls with me amonth, but you get ongoing Voxer
support with me, which is likehaving me a coach in your pocket
, and there's so many goodthings in this membership For
the price point.
It's kind of ridiculousactually.
(17:58):
So I will post the link belowin the show notes and you guys
can go check it out.
There is an application becauseit's not for everybody and
there's not that many spots open.
I don't actually talk aboutElevate that much because I am
super protective of our space.
Most of these femalephotographers who are in the
group with me have been workingwith me for three, four years or
(18:19):
longer, and I'm reallyprotective of the energy of the
group.
It's also only for femalephotographers and those who have
been in business for a littlebit.
So it's not for you.
If you are brand new, if you'rebrand new, one-on-one would be
amazing for you, because I canwalk you through, I can give you
the roadmap, and then whathappens more often than not is
(18:41):
that my one-on-one clients endup heading into Elevate after
they coach with me, because it'sgreat for ongoing
accountability and coaching and,like I said before, the group
is pretty amazing.
There's a lot of vulnerableshares in there.
We get very close.
It's a special group.
So if you are interested inthat, just head below.
(19:03):
There's a lot of vulnerableshares in there.
We get very close.
It's a special group.
So if you are interested inthat, just head below.
There's a link and you can findout more.
You can fill out theapplication and we may even have
to have a little quick chatabout it, but if you feel
interested in it, there's areally good chance that it is
the right spot for you.
So don't be afraid, just reachout.
I hope what you take from thisepisode is that you're not
broken for needing discipline.
You're just being called to ahigher level of leadership, the
(19:24):
version of you who has what youwant.
Okay, she didn't wait till shefelt ready.
She decided everything's adecision and that's your
invitation.
Now too, you just have to catchup to her invitation.
Now too, you just have to catchup to her.
The universe is not asking youto be perfect, just present.
(19:49):
Okay, your joy deservesstructure, your purpose deserves
consistency, and your nextlevel is just waiting on your
yes.
And I also hope this challengedyou a little bit, okay, cause
the life you want isn't waitingon motivation.
It's waiting on your devotionand your decision, and you're
ready for that.
Whether it feels like you areor not, this episode might be
your sign.
Okay, and if you're ready tostop circling the edge and
(20:13):
finally go all in, I'd love towalk you through that.
I hope you guys have afantastic week.
Be good to yourself.
Love you Bye.
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