December 31, 2023 • 20 mins
It's like we all had the same year! A silent struggle to Triumph despite life's Trauma. So today I'm inviting you into a space of reflection and recognition. We're not just surviving; we're acknowledging our strength and progress, no matter how small. I pray that you are encouraged as you listen and find inspiration in some of the resources provided in the show notes, including books and therapist details that aid our healing journey. Together, let's close this year inspired and, ready to embrace new adventures with hope and faith in the one who always causes us to Triumph!
- What is Trauma? Trauma is a deeply distressing or disturbing experience. An emotional response to a terrible event like an accident, rape, abuse, or natural disaster.
- How to cope with Trauma Talk to a few trusted people, open up about your struggle, seek online support groups, read self-help books or practice small acts of self-care such as meditation, breathwork, yoga and exercise can help you regain some feeling of control.”
- Find a therapist Get Started (betterhelp.com)
Online Psychiatric Medication & Mental Telehealth Services - Rx Anxiety, Depression & Insomnia Treatment | Cerebral - Triumph Over Trauma Scripture: II Corinthians 2:14 Now thanks be unto to God, who always causes us to Triumph in Christ....
- Books I'm reading on my healing journey
It Didn't Start with You! - How Inherited Family Trauma Shapes who we are, & how to end the cycle. https://a.co/d/f22BoLk
Home Coming- Thema Bryant
https://www.amazon.com/dp/059341831X/ref=cm_sw_r_em_api_i_TE4YHJQ63FA21362FP79
The Body Keeps the Score - https://www.amazon.com/dp/0143127748/ref=cm_sw_r_em_api_i_HXH4RMNC329DT7VPQ5WG
Support the show
2 Corinthians 2:14 Now thanks be unto God, who always causes us to Triumph!
2 Corinthians 2:14 Now thanks be unto God, who always causes us to Triumph!
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Hey y'all, welcome to Triumph Over Trauma, the
podcast.
Listen y'all.
I created this podcast because,like so many other people, I've
had a traumatic past.
I didn't always realize howthose things affected me
negatively and how I evencarried them into my adult life,
and so I wanted to create aspace where other people could
come and we could have candidconversations on how you
(00:22):
identify trauma, how younavigate it and how you recover
from traumatic experiences.
And this resonates with youth.
And join me.
I am your host and traumasurvivor, ms Eve McNair.
Let's get into it.
Hey guys, what's up?
Welcome back to Triumph OverTrauma.
Listen, life has life.
(00:44):
This year for me like no other,and one of the things that I
found most challenging as I wasnavigating this year was the
ability to give myself somecredit, the ability to be proud
of the winds, or be as proud ofthe winds I've had as I am as
(01:04):
serious about the losses.
Right, sometimes you're moreserious about the losses that
you've taken or you'veexperienced than you are as
passionate and adamant about thewinds that you've had.
Sometimes you're not as proudof them, or sometimes you don't
speak about them the way that wespeak about our failures or
disappointments.
I want to say to you that I'mvery proud.
(01:27):
I am proud of how you'venavigated this year.
I'm proud of how you've handledthose ups and downs.
I'm proud of how you've handledthe setbacks, the
discouragement, the warfare.
It has been great.
This year, for me personally,was one of the most intense
years for me.
So many unpredictable thingshappened, things that I thought
(01:52):
that I couldn't get past, thingsthat I wasn't sure that I would
be able to navigate.
By the grace of God, I haveliterally come through another
year.
When I reflect back on thisyear, there are a lot of things
that I think that I could havedone better, that I could have
done more.
There are some things that I'mnot proud of, but there are also
(02:16):
lots of things that I'm happyabout.
I'm happy about my endurancethis year.
I'm happy about my persistencythis year and my consistency.
Although it wasn't as strong,as dedicated as I would have
liked, I'm still proud of thefact that I showed up every day,
that I got up every day and didsomething with the time and
(02:38):
space that God has granted me,and I think, if you were one of
my listeners, I trust that thishas been the same for you.
You have tried your very best.
You've given it your all, dayin and day out.
No matter what has come yourway, you have continued to keep
going and you've continued tokeep pressing your way, and I'm
(02:59):
so proud of you for that.
I don't think that we takeenough time to pat ourselves on
the back to give ourselvescredit.
There's a scripture in theBible that talks about David and
how he encouraged himself inthe Lord, and sometimes we are
so good at encouraging others,we're so good at admonishing
others, we're so good at pushingothers and being there, showing
(03:22):
up for others, but we fail todo the same for ourselves.
And sometimes, at the end ofthe year, we're looking back on
like, what do I have to show formyself?
And I wanna encourage you bysaying you're here, you made it
through another year, you madeit through what seemed to be
impossible.
So many different silentbattles that you have had to
(03:44):
fight, you know, unbeknownst toothers.
So many things, times whereyou've literally had to cry and
say a prayer and keep going andpretending, in some cases, that
everything was okay when yourworld was falling apart.
So I'm proud of you for that.
I'm proud of how you'vecontinued to smile although your
heart was hurting.
And I want to say to you thatyou no longer have to do that,
(04:06):
that if you feel whatever youfeel, it's okay to take a moment
and stop and embrace thatfeeling, because you've made a
lot of strides and I can'texpress to you enough the
importance of being proud ofyourself.
I can't express to you enoughthe importance of patting
yourself on the back.
(04:26):
I can't express to you enoughhow important it is to do some
self-reflection on what you didaccomplish.
We often park at what we didn'taccomplish.
We are often stake out at ourfailures.
We stake out at the things thatwe could have done better and
although they are constructiveand conducive to improvement,
right, it's not all about whatwe didn't get right.
(04:49):
It's not all about what wecould have done better.
Sometimes it's important tonote the fact that we showed up.
Sometimes it's important tonote the fact that we kept going
.
It's important to note the factthat we didn't give up and even
if we had to do it alone, evenif we had to do it with tears in
our eyes, with broken hearts,with confusion, with so many
navigating so many differentthings, we still did it, we
(05:11):
still tried, we still put fortheffort, we still did our best,
and we need to be proud of that.
As this year comes to a close, Iwant your reflection to be that
of pride, and not in anarrogant, negative way, but in a
way where you boost yourself-esteem, where you boost
your confidence, because whereare you going?
(05:32):
Because of what you enduredthis year, it's looking up for
you.
You've endured a lot this year.
You've navigated so many silentbattles, like I said before,
and it's looking up from youhere on out, and I know that we
live in an age where there areso many different voices who
were offering prophetic insightand saying you know that the
(05:52):
Lord said that they're going,he's going to do this in 2024.
And he's.
You know, this is the year thatthis is going to happen and
that is going to happen.
But I want this to be the yearwhere you learn to take pride in
yourself, to take pride in youreffort and to know that it does
get better, because you aregetting better every day that
(06:14):
you put one foot in front of theother.
You're getting better, you'reprogressing, you're growing,
you're developing, you arematuring, and this year helped
you do that, regardless of Ifyou even had a chance to
acknowledge it.
Sometimes we're so busy insurvival mode that we don't give
ourselves the time or we don'ttake the time that's necessary
to realize.
Wait a minute.
(06:35):
I've come through some stuff.
I've experienced some thingsthat nearly took me out, that
threatened my sanity, thatthreatened my peace of mind,
that threatened my finances,that threatened my well being,
but I still survived and forthat I'm grateful, and I only am
I grateful.
But I'm proud.
(06:55):
I'm proud of me, I'm proud ofwhat God has done in me and
through me and with me, and Iwant you to have that same heart
filled posture.
I want you to have a posturefull of happiness and self
reflection on what you didaccomplish, on what you did get
to do, because that's what'sgoing to carry you into this
(07:15):
next year, when you look back onthis year and you say if I can
get through that year, if I canget through the heartbreak, the,
the catastrophes, the Inflation, the cost of living adjustments
, if I can get through that,then I can make it anywhere with
the grace of God.
You know this description,bible for the theme that says I
(07:36):
can do all things to Christ, whostrengthens me.
And sometimes we are so busyasking God for strength to just
to get through it.
When he brings us to it, whenhe gives us the strength to get
through it, we forget to lookback and say, first of all,
thank you, father, that youstrengthen me, and thank you
because I didn't give up on me,even when I wanted to right,
even when I wanted to throw in atowel, I didn't and I made it
(07:59):
in.
The Bible says that the race isnot given to the swift, but it's
given to the one that enduredto the end.
And you have endured to thevery end.
You've endured this year.
You've endured so manychallenges, so many difficulties
, so many silent battles thatnobody knows about, but you've
endured.
And so I'm proud of you.
I'm so proud of you and whatyou've done and I want you to be
(08:22):
proud of yourself.
I want you to take thatconfidence and that self esteem
into the your next year, becauseyou're going to reap rewards in
the next year for what you didthis year.
I believe that wholeheartedly.
I believe that God is arewarder of those who diligently
seek him, but he's also arewarder of those who don't give
up.
He's a rewarder of those whocontinue.
(08:42):
Like I said.
If that scripture is true, thatthe reason I give to the swift,
the one who endured to the end,then you've won some races this
year and it's reward time.
You just yet to be rewarded.
I hope that one of the rewardsthat you give yourself is
gratitude, it's self love, it'sself confidence, is pride in
(09:02):
yourself and knowing that I didit.
I did it in spite of howdifficult it was, how lonely it
was, how challenging it was.
I did it, and I'm doing it bythe grace of God, day by day,
day by day, and don't compareyourself to others.
Well, it looks like they gotfurther where.
It looks like they did more,they accomplished more.
(09:23):
They, they, they gleaned more,they received more you will
receive based on what you'vedone.
I think one of the things thatis challenging, especially for
trauma victims, is the abilityto be proud of ourselves, the
ability to count our rights justas well as we count our wrongs.
I think we so often getaccustomed to being victimized
(09:49):
by the circumstances we've gonethrough, that sometimes we keep
ourself in those states, inthose mindsets, in those
mentalities, in thosedispositions when, when we
should be proud of ourselves, weshould give ourselves more
credit.
Nobody knows what you've had tofight.
Nobody knows in detail the waythat you do what you've had to
endure.
Nobody understands that, theway that you and God does.
(10:12):
And so because you know that,because you have firsthand
experience, firsthand knowledgeof what you've endured, what
you've gone through, what you'veexperienced and what it was
like to navigate, that youshould be proud of who you are.
There are some people who havegone through what you've gone
through, who experienced whatyou experienced this year alone,
who did not make it, who threwin the town, who gave up, you
(10:35):
know, who literally just werewiped out.
Can we just talk about howtough this year was?
I don't know if it was just meor not, but this year was tough.
This was one of the mostchallenging years for me
mentally, physically,financially, spiritually.
This was a tough year for me,if I'm honest right.
I fought a lot of silentbattles.
(10:58):
I experienced a lot of warfarethat I was not ready for, right,
but also navigating differentparts of life that were so
unpredictable.
And as the year came to a close,or as the year is coming to a
(11:22):
close, as the year came to aclose, I just begin to be
thankful like whoo, thank God, Imade it to the end of year.
I made it to the end of year.
I made it to the end of theyear, but I've failed to even
take it.
I've failed to even take inconsideration that I made it.
I literally made it.
I made it through some thingsthat nobody even knew I was
going through.
I made it through some battlesthat nobody understood that I
(11:45):
was fighting.
I made it through some thingsthat literally almost
compromised my peace of mind,but I still made it, and I feel
like that is a temperature checkfor so many people.
So many people fought thingsthis year, went through things,
experienced things that weredevastating to them, and whether
they hit it or whether theyjust suppressed it or whatever
(12:07):
the case may be, they still wentthrough it.
And I think sometimes we forgetto take into consideration what
it takes to actually live, whatit takes to actually get
through.
Everybody talks about making it, everybody talks about
surviving it and getting over it, but seldom people talk about
(12:28):
that in between space ofactually overcoming, of actually
facing or confronting whatyou're facing and actually
trying to think over it.
There were so many things forme that were difficult this year
.
There were so many things thatI experienced, that I went
through, that I couldn't evenactually put into words or
express to anybody Not that Iwanted to purposely suppress
(12:51):
them or keep them or hide them,but they were just difficult to
navigate, and before I couldeven put them in words I had to
actually sit with them andprocess them myself.
But life kept lifeing, even inthe midst of what I was trying
to navigate right.
Life goes on, and so I'm proudof the fact that, even in the
(13:12):
midst of all that I was goingthrough, all that I was
experiencing, all that I wasnavigating, I'm proud of the
fact that I'm still here.
I'm proud of the fact that mymind still works, that my heart
still works.
I'm proud of the fact that Ican still love, I can still feel
people, sense them and touchthem and meet and anticipate
their needs.
I'm proud of the fact that I'mstill a good friend, a mother
(13:36):
and person in general.
I'm proud of that.
Sometimes we don't take the timeto be proud of ourselves.
There's this misconception thatif you take pride in yourself,
you're arrogant or you'reconceited or self-centered.
But there's scriptures in theBible where the Bible even
speaks of David encouraginghimself into Lord saying so, be
(13:56):
encouraged, just speaking wellof yourself, and it's so needed,
I think.
Some of the times where we findourselves in places of
despondency and sadness or grief, those are the times.
Not only do we need others, butwe need to also encourage
(14:17):
ourselves and we need to beproud of how we've pulled
through some of the worst timesof our lives.
But these are the things thatsometimes are not taught.
These are the things that aresometimes not talked about
enough.
We talk about the pain of it orthe issue of it we talk about.
Sometimes we focus more on theproblem than the process.
(14:43):
Right, it is a process to keepgoing every day.
It's a process to get up.
It's a process, and you need tobe proud of your process.
Not only do you need to beproud of your process, but you
need to be proud of yourprogress.
There's been progress that youmade this year, whether it be
slow, whether it be minute,whether it be minor.
(15:05):
Don't compare your progress toanybody else's.
You made progress this yearbecause you kept going, because
you're still here listening tothis, so I'm proud of you.
I hope you're proud of you.
I hope you know that you can doall things through Christ, who
strengthens you, and if you'vegotten through this year, you
can get through what's to comenext year.
I believe next year is going tobe full of so much hope, so
(15:26):
much peace and so much joy.
I believe that there are somany people who've made it
through so many different thingsand that God is going to reward
them.
I believe strongly that there isa remnant of people who have
experienced some of the worstseasons of their lives, but kept
going, and I think for thosepeople, those are the people who
(15:46):
need to take a moment andencourage themselves, and
encourage them to be proud ofhow they've navigated, be proud
of the fact that they're stillhere, be proud of the fact that
they still love, they still care, they still go, they still have
determination and grit.
I think we should be proud ofthat.
I think we should be proud ofthat, and so it's just as
(16:09):
important to count your wins theway you count your losses.
Sometimes, we just stay stuckon the losses.
Oh, my God, I failed to do this, I didn't do this, I didn't do
enough, I didn't do what Ishould.
You know the shoulda, coulda,woulda.
And, yes, there is always roomfor improvement, but there's
also time.
The Bible says that there's atime for everything, and there's
(16:29):
time to reflect on what you diddo well.
There's time to reflect on howyou did keep going.
There's time to reflect on thefact that you still love, that
you're still a good person, thatyou still show up in this crazy
world.
There's time for you andthere's time for you to embrace
you and to be proud of you andall your glory.
(16:51):
For failures, feralties,angelic secreties and all,
there's still time to make themost of who you are and to be
proud of what you've done.
So give yourself a little moregrace.
One of the things that mytherapist has me working on is
being kinder to myself, being alittle bit more gentle to myself
(17:12):
.
Sometimes I have a tendency tobe harder on myself, harder on
myself than I should be right.
Sometimes I forget to apply thegrace that is so freely given
to me by the Lord, and I canstep my progress by not
acknowledging the fact thatthere has been so good that God
has accomplished through me andin me, and that I have stayed
(17:34):
the course, especially when thecourse has not always been easy.
And so I want you and itmonitors you to do the same.
Apply some of the grace thatGod so freely gives you and
offers you today.
Don't be so hard on yourself.
Be kind, take your time withyou.
And again, I can't reiterateenough the necessity of taking
(17:55):
stock of your positives, notjust your negatives, taking
stocks of your wins, not justyour losses, right?
So, as this year comes to aclose, please know that,
although you have so many thingsto take away, so many lessons
that you've learned, whether itbe through pain or heartache, or
(18:16):
triumph or trial, you'velearned and you're learning, and
again you're growing.
My prayer for you is that youcan acknowledge that in the
deepest part of who you are andbegin to accept you for who you
are, with love, with grace, withthe comfort that you may not
have always had, but that youcan begin to embrace and be
(18:39):
proud of you, regardless of whatit may mean to anyone else.
Don't ask anybody else forpermission to be proud of you.
Don't ask anyone else forpermission to be kind or gentler
to yourself.
Don't ask anybody else forpermission for what you know you
need and deserve.
Okay, guys, that's all I havefor today.
Listen.
I pray that this was helpful.
I pray that you know that youhave so much to look forward to
(19:03):
and so much to be proud of.
I pray that this upcoming yearis full of grace, peace, love,
strength and joy.
I pray that you get all thatGod has for you and more.
Please know I am praying foryou.
Listen, if you'd like to be apart of the show to share your
testimony, thought, idea or havea question, please check out
(19:24):
the show notes.
In each of the episodes You'llfind links to contact me, or you
could also peruse the shownotes to find links to books I'm
reading.
Also find information regardingtherapists and how to find one
and any additional informationthat you may need.
Listen, it's been my pleasure.
Remember now.
(19:45):
Thanks.
Be unto God, who always causesus to triumph.
God's second Corinthians, 10and 13.
Bye.
God's second Corinthians, 10and 13.
(20:59):
God's second Corinthians, 10and 13.
Hey y'all, welcome to Triumph Over Trauma, the
podcast.
Listen y'all.
I created this podcast because,like so many other people, I've
had a traumatic past.
I didn't always realize howthose things affected me
negatively and how I evencarried them into my adult life,
and so I wanted to create aspace where other people could
come and we could have candidconversations on how you
(00:22):
identify trauma, how younavigate it and how you recover
from traumatic experiences.
And this resonates with youth.
And join me.
I am your host and traumasurvivor, ms Eve McNair.
Let's get into it.
Hey guys, what's up?
Welcome back to Triumph OverTrauma.
Listen, life has life.
(00:44):
This year for me like no other,and one of the things that I
found most challenging as I wasnavigating this year was the
ability to give myself somecredit, the ability to be proud
of the winds, or be as proud ofthe winds I've had as I am as
(01:04):
serious about the losses.
Right, sometimes you're moreserious about the losses that
you've taken or you'veexperienced than you are as
passionate and adamant about thewinds that you've had.
Sometimes you're not as proudof them, or sometimes you don't
speak about them the way that wespeak about our failures or
disappointments.
I want to say to you that I'mvery proud.
(01:27):
I am proud of how you'venavigated this year.
I'm proud of how you've handledthose ups and downs.
I'm proud of how you've handledthe setbacks, the
discouragement, the warfare.
It has been great.
This year, for me personally,was one of the most intense
years for me.
So many unpredictable thingshappened, things that I thought
(01:52):
that I couldn't get past, thingsthat I wasn't sure that I would
be able to navigate.
By the grace of God, I haveliterally come through another
year.
When I reflect back on thisyear, there are a lot of things
that I think that I could havedone better, that I could have
done more.
There are some things that I'mnot proud of, but there are also
(02:16):
lots of things that I'm happyabout.
I'm happy about my endurancethis year.
I'm happy about my persistencythis year and my consistency.
Although it wasn't as strong,as dedicated as I would have
liked, I'm still proud of thefact that I showed up every day,
that I got up every day and didsomething with the time and
(02:38):
space that God has granted me,and I think, if you were one of
my listeners, I trust that thishas been the same for you.
You have tried your very best.
You've given it your all, dayin and day out.
No matter what has come yourway, you have continued to keep
going and you've continued tokeep pressing your way, and I'm
(02:59):
so proud of you for that.
I don't think that we takeenough time to pat ourselves on
the back to give ourselvescredit.
There's a scripture in theBible that talks about David and
how he encouraged himself inthe Lord, and sometimes we are
so good at encouraging others,we're so good at admonishing
others, we're so good at pushingothers and being there, showing
(03:22):
up for others, but we fail todo the same for ourselves.
And sometimes, at the end ofthe year, we're looking back on
like, what do I have to show formyself?
And I wanna encourage you bysaying you're here, you made it
through another year, you madeit through what seemed to be
impossible.
So many different silentbattles that you have had to
(03:44):
fight, you know, unbeknownst toothers.
So many things, times whereyou've literally had to cry and
say a prayer and keep going andpretending, in some cases, that
everything was okay when yourworld was falling apart.
So I'm proud of you for that.
I'm proud of how you'vecontinued to smile although your
heart was hurting.
And I want to say to you thatyou no longer have to do that,
(04:06):
that if you feel whatever youfeel, it's okay to take a moment
and stop and embrace thatfeeling, because you've made a
lot of strides and I can'texpress to you enough the
importance of being proud ofyourself.
I can't express to you enoughthe importance of patting
yourself on the back.
(04:26):
I can't express to you enoughhow important it is to do some
self-reflection on what you didaccomplish.
We often park at what we didn'taccomplish.
We are often stake out at ourfailures.
We stake out at the things thatwe could have done better and
although they are constructiveand conducive to improvement,
right, it's not all about whatwe didn't get right.
(04:49):
It's not all about what wecould have done better.
Sometimes it's important tonote the fact that we showed up.
Sometimes it's important tonote the fact that we kept going
.
It's important to note the factthat we didn't give up and even
if we had to do it alone, evenif we had to do it with tears in
our eyes, with broken hearts,with confusion, with so many
navigating so many differentthings, we still did it, we
(05:11):
still tried, we still put fortheffort, we still did our best,
and we need to be proud of that.
As this year comes to a close, Iwant your reflection to be that
of pride, and not in anarrogant, negative way, but in a
way where you boost yourself-esteem, where you boost
your confidence, because whereare you going?
(05:32):
Because of what you enduredthis year, it's looking up for
you.
You've endured a lot this year.
You've navigated so many silentbattles, like I said before,
and it's looking up from youhere on out, and I know that we
live in an age where there areso many different voices who
were offering prophetic insightand saying you know that the
(05:52):
Lord said that they're going,he's going to do this in 2024.
And he's.
You know, this is the year thatthis is going to happen and
that is going to happen.
But I want this to be the yearwhere you learn to take pride in
yourself, to take pride in youreffort and to know that it does
get better, because you aregetting better every day that
(06:14):
you put one foot in front of theother.
You're getting better, you'reprogressing, you're growing,
you're developing, you arematuring, and this year helped
you do that, regardless of Ifyou even had a chance to
acknowledge it.
Sometimes we're so busy insurvival mode that we don't give
ourselves the time or we don'ttake the time that's necessary
to realize.
Wait a minute.
(06:35):
I've come through some stuff.
I've experienced some thingsthat nearly took me out, that
threatened my sanity, thatthreatened my peace of mind,
that threatened my finances,that threatened my well being,
but I still survived and forthat I'm grateful, and I only am
I grateful.
But I'm proud.
(06:55):
I'm proud of me, I'm proud ofwhat God has done in me and
through me and with me, and Iwant you to have that same heart
filled posture.
I want you to have a posturefull of happiness and self
reflection on what you didaccomplish, on what you did get
to do, because that's what'sgoing to carry you into this
(07:15):
next year, when you look back onthis year and you say if I can
get through that year, if I canget through the heartbreak, the,
the catastrophes, the Inflation, the cost of living adjustments
, if I can get through that,then I can make it anywhere with
the grace of God.
You know this description,bible for the theme that says I
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can do all things to Christ, whostrengthens me.
And sometimes we are so busyasking God for strength to just
to get through it.
When he brings us to it, whenhe gives us the strength to get
through it, we forget to lookback and say, first of all,
thank you, father, that youstrengthen me, and thank you
because I didn't give up on me,even when I wanted to right,
even when I wanted to throw in atowel, I didn't and I made it
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in.
The Bible says that the race isnot given to the swift, but it's
given to the one that enduredto the end.
And you have endured to thevery end.
You've endured this year.
You've endured so manychallenges, so many difficulties
, so many silent battles thatnobody knows about, but you've
endured.
And so I'm proud of you.
I'm so proud of you and whatyou've done and I want you to be
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proud of yourself.
I want you to take thatconfidence and that self esteem
into the your next year, becauseyou're going to reap rewards in
the next year for what you didthis year.
I believe that wholeheartedly.
I believe that God is arewarder of those who diligently
seek him, but he's also arewarder of those who don't give
up.
He's a rewarder of those whocontinue.
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Like I said.
If that scripture is true, thatthe reason I give to the swift,
the one who endured to the end,then you've won some races this
year and it's reward time.
You just yet to be rewarded.
I hope that one of the rewardsthat you give yourself is
gratitude, it's self love, it'sself confidence, is pride in
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yourself and knowing that I didit.
I did it in spite of howdifficult it was, how lonely it
was, how challenging it was.
I did it, and I'm doing it bythe grace of God, day by day,
day by day, and don't compareyourself to others.
Well, it looks like they gotfurther where.
It looks like they did more,they accomplished more.
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They, they, they gleaned more,they received more you will
receive based on what you'vedone.
I think one of the things thatis challenging, especially for
trauma victims, is the abilityto be proud of ourselves, the
ability to count our rights justas well as we count our wrongs.
I think we so often getaccustomed to being victimized
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by the circumstances we've gonethrough, that sometimes we keep
ourself in those states, inthose mindsets, in those
mentalities, in thosedispositions when, when we
should be proud of ourselves, weshould give ourselves more
credit.
Nobody knows what you've had tofight.
Nobody knows in detail the waythat you do what you've had to
endure.
Nobody understands that, theway that you and God does.
(10:12):
And so because you know that,because you have firsthand
experience, firsthand knowledgeof what you've endured, what
you've gone through, what you'veexperienced and what it was
like to navigate, that youshould be proud of who you are.
There are some people who havegone through what you've gone
through, who experienced whatyou experienced this year alone,
who did not make it, who threwin the town, who gave up, you
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know, who literally just werewiped out.
Can we just talk about howtough this year was?
I don't know if it was just meor not, but this year was tough.
This was one of the mostchallenging years for me
mentally, physically,financially, spiritually.
This was a tough year for me,if I'm honest right.
I fought a lot of silentbattles.
(10:58):
I experienced a lot of warfarethat I was not ready for, right,
but also navigating differentparts of life that were so
unpredictable.
And as the year came to a close,or as the year is coming to a
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close, as the year came to aclose, I just begin to be
thankful like whoo, thank God, Imade it to the end of year.
I made it to the end of year.
I made it to the end of theyear, but I've failed to even
take it.
I've failed to even take inconsideration that I made it.
I literally made it.
I made it through some thingsthat nobody even knew I was
going through.
I made it through some battlesthat nobody understood that I
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was fighting.
I made it through some thingsthat literally almost
compromised my peace of mind,but I still made it, and I feel
like that is a temperature checkfor so many people.
So many people fought thingsthis year, went through things,
experienced things that weredevastating to them, and whether
they hit it or whether theyjust suppressed it or whatever
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the case may be, they still wentthrough it.
And I think sometimes we forgetto take into consideration what
it takes to actually live, whatit takes to actually get
through.
Everybody talks about making it, everybody talks about
surviving it and getting over it, but seldom people talk about
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that in between space ofactually overcoming, of actually
facing or confronting whatyou're facing and actually
trying to think over it.
There were so many things forme that were difficult this year
.
There were so many things thatI experienced, that I went
through, that I couldn't evenactually put into words or
express to anybody Not that Iwanted to purposely suppress
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them or keep them or hide them,but they were just difficult to
navigate, and before I couldeven put them in words I had to
actually sit with them andprocess them myself.
But life kept lifeing, even inthe midst of what I was trying
to navigate right.
Life goes on, and so I'm proudof the fact that, even in the
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midst of all that I was goingthrough, all that I was
experiencing, all that I wasnavigating, I'm proud of the
fact that I'm still here.
I'm proud of the fact that mymind still works, that my heart
still works.
I'm proud of the fact that Ican still love, I can still feel
people, sense them and touchthem and meet and anticipate
their needs.
I'm proud of the fact that I'mstill a good friend, a mother
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and person in general.
I'm proud of that.
Sometimes we don't take the timeto be proud of ourselves.
There's this misconception thatif you take pride in yourself,
you're arrogant or you'reconceited or self-centered.
But there's scriptures in theBible where the Bible even
speaks of David encouraginghimself into Lord saying so, be
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encouraged, just speaking wellof yourself, and it's so needed,
I think.
Some of the times where we findourselves in places of
despondency and sadness or grief, those are the times.
Not only do we need others, butwe need to also encourage
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ourselves and we need to beproud of how we've pulled
through some of the worst timesof our lives.
But these are the things thatsometimes are not taught.
These are the things that aresometimes not talked about
enough.
We talk about the pain of it orthe issue of it we talk about.
Sometimes we focus more on theproblem than the process.
(14:43):
Right, it is a process to keepgoing every day.
It's a process to get up.
It's a process, and you need tobe proud of your process.
Not only do you need to beproud of your process, but you
need to be proud of yourprogress.
There's been progress that youmade this year, whether it be
slow, whether it be minute,whether it be minor.
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Don't compare your progress toanybody else's.
You made progress this yearbecause you kept going, because
you're still here listening tothis, so I'm proud of you.
I hope you're proud of you.
I hope you know that you can doall things through Christ, who
strengthens you, and if you'vegotten through this year, you
can get through what's to comenext year.
I believe next year is going tobe full of so much hope, so
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much peace and so much joy.
I believe that there are somany people who've made it
through so many different thingsand that God is going to reward
them.
I believe strongly that there isa remnant of people who have
experienced some of the worstseasons of their lives, but kept
going, and I think for thosepeople, those are the people who
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need to take a moment andencourage themselves, and
encourage them to be proud ofhow they've navigated, be proud
of the fact that they're stillhere, be proud of the fact that
they still love, they still care, they still go, they still have
determination and grit.
I think we should be proud ofthat.
I think we should be proud ofthat, and so it's just as
(16:09):
important to count your wins theway you count your losses.
Sometimes, we just stay stuckon the losses.
Oh, my God, I failed to do this, I didn't do this, I didn't do
enough, I didn't do what Ishould.
You know the shoulda, coulda,woulda.
And, yes, there is always roomfor improvement, but there's
also time.
The Bible says that there's atime for everything, and there's
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time to reflect on what you diddo well.
There's time to reflect on howyou did keep going.
There's time to reflect on thefact that you still love, that
you're still a good person, thatyou still show up in this crazy
world.
There's time for you andthere's time for you to embrace
you and to be proud of you andall your glory.
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For failures, feralties,angelic secreties and all,
there's still time to make themost of who you are and to be
proud of what you've done.
So give yourself a little moregrace.
One of the things that mytherapist has me working on is
being kinder to myself, being alittle bit more gentle to myself
(17:12):
.
Sometimes I have a tendency tobe harder on myself, harder on
myself than I should be right.
Sometimes I forget to apply thegrace that is so freely given
to me by the Lord, and I canstep my progress by not
acknowledging the fact thatthere has been so good that God
has accomplished through me andin me, and that I have stayed
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the course, especially when thecourse has not always been easy.
And so I want you and itmonitors you to do the same.
Apply some of the grace thatGod so freely gives you and
offers you today.
Don't be so hard on yourself.
Be kind, take your time withyou.
And again, I can't reiterateenough the necessity of taking
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stock of your positives, notjust your negatives, taking
stocks of your wins, not justyour losses, right?
So, as this year comes to aclose, please know that,
although you have so many thingsto take away, so many lessons
that you've learned, whether itbe through pain or heartache, or
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triumph or trial, you'velearned and you're learning, and
again you're growing.
My prayer for you is that youcan acknowledge that in the
deepest part of who you are andbegin to accept you for who you
are, with love, with grace, withthe comfort that you may not
have always had, but that youcan begin to embrace and be
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proud of you, regardless of whatit may mean to anyone else.
Don't ask anybody else forpermission to be proud of you.
Don't ask anyone else forpermission to be kind or gentler
to yourself.
Don't ask anybody else forpermission for what you know you
need and deserve.
Okay, guys, that's all I havefor today.
Listen.
I pray that this was helpful.
I pray that you know that youhave so much to look forward to
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and so much to be proud of.
I pray that this upcoming yearis full of grace, peace, love,
strength and joy.
I pray that you get all thatGod has for you and more.
Please know I am praying foryou.
Listen, if you'd like to be apart of the show to share your
testimony, thought, idea or havea question, please check out
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the show notes.
In each of the episodes You'llfind links to contact me, or you
could also peruse the shownotes to find links to books I'm
reading.
Also find information regardingtherapists and how to find one
and any additional informationthat you may need.
Listen, it's been my pleasure.
Remember now.
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Thanks.
Be unto God, who always causesus to triumph.
God's second Corinthians, 10and 13.
Bye.
God's second Corinthians, 10and 13.
(20:59):
God's second Corinthians, 10and 13.
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