Redefining Resilience w/ Therapist Brittany Banks

What happens when trauma isn't just in your mind, but stored in your body? This profound conversation with Licensed Professional Counselor Brittany Banks reveals the hidden physical toll of unprocessed emotional pain and offers a roadmap for genuine healing.

Brittany shares startling insights about how stress hormones physically manifest when we don't address our mental health: "Your tears actually have stress hormones in them. That's your body's way of trying to release this thing out of you." This connection between mental and physical wellbeing forms the foundation of a wide-ranging discussion that tackles everything from cultural stigmas to faith perspectives on therapy.

For those raised in communities where strength means silence, Brittany redefines what resilience truly looks like. "Strength does not mean that you isolate and keep people out... It does not mean you cannot express emotion." This redefinition creates space for vulnerability as a pathway toward healing rather than a sign of weakness.

Get in touch with the guest and I 

Ms Eve's Linktree info - https://linktr.ee/IAMMSEVE?utm_source=linktree_

Brittany's Tiktok- https://www.tiktok.com/@the.cozy_place?_t=ZP-8wsDybIAXWg&_r=1

Brittany's Instagram -Brittany Banks| Licensed Therapist (@the.cozy_place) • Instagram photosandvideosinstagram.com

 Therapy Services: w/ Brittany Banks LPC on headway - https://care.headway.co/providers/brittany-banks?utm_source=pem&utm_medium=direct_link&utm_campaign=103654

Books I'm reading on my healing journey.

• It Didn't Start with You! - How Inherited Family Trauma Shapes Who We Are by Mark Woolen
• Post Traumatic Slave Syndrome- Dr Joy Degruy
• The Body Keeps The Score- Bessel van Der Kolk

Support the show

2 Corinthians 2:14 Now thanks be unto God, who always causes us to Triumph!

 

Support the show

2 Corinthians 2:14 Now thanks be unto God, who always causes us to Triumph!

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey y'all, welcome to Triumph Over Trauma, the
podcast.
Listen y'all.
I created this podcast because,like so many other people, I've
had a traumatic past.
I didn't always realize howthose things affected me
negatively and how I evencarried them into my adult life,
and so I wanted to create aspace where other people could
come and we could have candidconversations on how you

(00:21):
identify trauma, how do younavigate it and how you recover
from traumatic experiences.
If this resonates with you,then join me.
I am your host and traumasurvivor, ms Eve McNair.
Let's get into it.
Welcome back to triumph overtrauma.

(00:57):
Guys, we are continuing ourconversation regarding mental
health and I have a very specialguest with me, Ms Brittany
Banks.
I came across Brittany'scontent on TikTok and I was like
, oh, wait, a minute, I have tohave her on the show.
She was spitting some factsabout medication and this.
It was kind of with a littlepun, little twist, but it made
so much sense and I'm like youknow what?

(01:19):
This is the awareness, this isthe attention that this topic
needs, so I thought it would bejust fitting to have her on the
show with us today.
Brittany, welcome to the show.
How are you?

Speaker 2 (01:32):
Hi, thank you.
Thank you, I'm great.
How are you?

Speaker 1 (01:36):
I'm doing well also.
I'm doing well.
I'm just looking forward to allthings new this month.

Speaker 2 (01:42):
For sure you came so quickly.

Speaker 1 (01:43):
Oh my God, I felt like it was just may, and then I
woke up in this june like howis it happening?

Speaker 2 (01:48):
oh my goodness, over that's.
That's how time goes.
So it sure does it sure waitsfor nobody.

Speaker 1 (01:53):
Um, wait, listen, we got a lot to cover today, so
we're gonna jump right in.
Let me just start here first.
Britney, are you a socialworker?

Speaker 2 (02:01):
I'm actually a licensed professional counselor,
so okay, I'm an.
Lpc fancy term for mentalhealth therapist.

Speaker 1 (02:08):
Okay, let me give you your accolades.
First of all, because we'retalking to a professional here.
Okay, brittany is a licensedprofessional counselor.
And first of all, I stay intherapy.
Okay, my therapist has atherapist.
So kudos to that, and the workthat you are doing, I know, can
be a lot.
First of all, just to say theleast, it's so necessary though.

(02:34):
Oh my God, so necessary.
So, yeah, I wanted to properlywelcome you, of course, but I
came across one of your videos,brittany, and it was so funny.
It was the one where you wereasking your patients did they
want?
I think it was like.
The video said something likedo you want Percocet, or
something.
But you were offering them.

Speaker 2 (02:53):
Okay, I remember that soundbite, yeah.

Speaker 1 (02:56):
But you were basically saying do you want to
take your meds, your?
mental health meds.
And I thought it was so funnybecause sometimes, sometimes,
especially when you're new tothe mental health journey and
you go see a doctor or you gosee a therapist and they're
saying, okay, coupled withtherapy, I need you to take
these meds.
And you know, sometimes peopleare like meds I don't even know
no medication like.

(03:17):
So the video was so funny.
You guys will have to go to hertiktok and see, but it was
hilarious.
That caught my attention and Iwent up and down and started to
view some of her content and Iwas like, oh, yeah, yeah, we
need to talk to her.
So we're going to dive right in.
My first question is whatimpact do you think that mental
health has on our overallwellbeing and quality of life?

Speaker 2 (03:39):
Oh my gosh, that's a big question because it's your
mental health.
I'll tell you like I tell myclients.
That's a big question, causeit's your mental health.
I'll tell you like I tell myclients right, our mental health
is one portion of our ownwell-being.
Right, in order to be a whole,healthy, well person, you have
to be able to tend to yourphysical health, your mental

(04:01):
health, and I also add yourspiritual health, because that
matters too, right?
Any of them are off kilter, outof whack.
That's when we start to seedifficulties in life, struggles
in life they go together.
You cannot separate them, and Ialways give people the example.
Let's say if you get sick, how?

(04:22):
Happy are you?
You get a little sick.
Start to take that a little bitRight On the severity of the
illness right, and of course itcan increase if you have a
serious diagnosis that leadsinto depression, anxiety, all
sorts of things, so they arevery much so connected.

Speaker 1 (04:40):
Wow, wow, awesome.
I'm glad you made thatconnection.
Mental health sometimes getslike this back burner to
physical illness and illnessesthat we consider tangible or
that we can see right.
I've often seen commercials andrallies around things like
breast cancer, things likeAlzheimer's and autism, and

(05:02):
while we do appreciate theawareness that those events
bring and the support that theyhave concerning them, we do also
need that in the mental healthcommunity.
We need that same attention,that same awareness.
We need to also take itseriously when people are
dealing with mental healthissues.

Speaker 2 (05:22):
I agree People are leading more into that.
Now, yeah, now, like in thepast five, ten years-ish right
yeah, where they think itactually matters is a thing.
There was such a heavy stigmaattached to it for the long time
I would say centuries even Likeif something was wrong people

(05:46):
would automatically slap labelson you.
Oh, they're crazy, or you know.
They're not right in the head,right struggling.
Some things are chemicalimbalances, right we can be
handled with, like we said,therapy, medication.
But then there's also just thehuman experience, like life is
hard right, life is not acakewalk for most people.

(06:07):
So I'm pretty sure most peoplecan identify with something
they've been through or didn'thave or don't know how to do, or
struggle to navigate where itapplies to their mental health
right.
What people don't know longterm, how I said, it's connected
not tending to mental healthconcerns can actually cause

(06:27):
physical health ailments in you.

Speaker 1 (06:29):
Wow, can you elaborate?

Speaker 2 (06:30):
on that, because I think that's something that we
overlook.
For sure A lot of people well,I think quite a lot of people
have heard, like stress is asilent killer right, it
literally can cause heartfailure over time, right, Wow,
it literally can cause heartfailure over time, right, wow?
So if you are not tending tostress management, anxiety,
depression, any of these thingshormonally, your body changes,

(06:51):
right, wow, your body changes.
You're pumping out stresshormones and if you don't have
anywhere to release somatically,right, it stores up in your
body.

Speaker 1 (07:01):
Wow, that's interesting because, not to cut
you off, I remember reading thebook called the body keeps the
score by First of all.
Like you start reading thatbook and you were like all this
time I've been holding thestress and trauma in the body.
Yeah, but that goes to say justlike you said, it does manifest
physically and people totallyoverlook that.

Speaker 2 (07:25):
Yes, you can cause stomach problems digestive
problems the chemicals.
They're not meant to be therelong term, so you're supposed to
process them out.
I tell all my clients who don'tlike to cry I'm like your tears
actually have stress hormonesin them.
That's your body's way oftrying to release some of this
thing out of you.
So every time you're stuffingit it has to find somewhere else

(07:46):
to store, and it's never gotlike a professional massage.
A lot of times they're like doyou feel that it's not?
It's not those little stresspockets that have buried
themselves in your muscles.
And then they tell you what?
Drink a lot of water so thatyour lymphatic system can flush
all that stuff out of you.
It can make you sick.

Speaker 1 (08:07):
Wow, that's deep.
So next time, listeners, thatyou go to the doctor and you're
experiencing some sort ofphysical ailment and they're
running all sorts of tests onyou and your lab work's coming
back fine, so to speak, and theycan't find a solution to what
your problem is, it could verywell be stress, unresolved
trauma, uh, a a suppressedmental health issue that you

(08:32):
were not aware of.
So let's take heed to that,because I I can identify with
that.
I I came to understand or toappreciate mental health because
of the trauma I've gone through.
And when I started to talk aboutit, when I started to like
process it, I remember it wouldaffect my breathing and I'm like
, why I'm breathing like this?
You know those breathings thatyou do after you ugly cry and

(08:55):
you can like barely catch yourbreath.
It was like, yeah, I'mhyperventilating, I'm trying to
tell my story and I can't get itout.
It's like, oh, this stuff hasbeen trapped in my body, this
stuff has definitely affected me.
So I definitely can identifywith what you said.
Now, why do you think thatmental health often is
overlooked?
You kind of spoke about this,but why do you think it's
overlooked compared to physicalhealth?

Speaker 2 (09:18):
The stigma, the stigma, the stigma, that and
stereotypes of, especially inthe black community right, I can
speak to that because I'm partof it.
We always feel like we need tobe strong, and that's what
strength is needs to beredefined.
It does not mean that youisolate and keep people out,

(09:38):
because we all need for support.
It does not mean you cannotexpress emotion, whether it be
sadness, heartbreak or whatever.
I think most people arecomfortable expressing anger,
right, some of the lighteremotions that we experience, but
all of them are part of thehuman experience.
There are no bad emotions.

(09:59):
There are some that areunfavorable, but there are no
bad ones, and so I think,because of how society has
shaped, what strength looks like, what masculinity looks like,
mental health awareness, messout that in there, people
withdraw or they don't judge forfeeling like somebody about

(10:22):
your problems.
You must be right, right, rightyou must not be right in the
head, you must be crazy, allthese things right right,
they're absolutely not true, andthat's why I work so hard to
like break that stigma becauseit's, yeah, it's not what you
think it is right, and I'm gladthat you said that there are no
bad emotions, because when Ijust know, growing up like we

(10:42):
were taught like anger is bad,it's evil.

Speaker 1 (10:45):
You know what I mean and I think about, even like,
biblically.
You know I'm a believer and soI always try to reflect on the
Bible.
But I think about even JesusChrist got mad.
He got mad.
The Bible don't say don't beangry.
It just says be angry and don'tsin, right, don't let it cause
you to do something you knowwhat I'm saying outside of the
will of God.
But he never said don't cry,don't be angry.

(11:06):
David had righteous indignation, right, like you know, and
sometimes, especially incommunities of believers, we
feel like, oh, it's so taboo tobe anything but happy, right,
like.
But I'm like, if you read theBible, who went through a
plethora of emotions.
They used to be like curse theday I die, I wish I was never

(11:27):
here.
I'm like you can say that youmad, you mad.

Speaker 2 (11:31):
You a big man.
It doesn't mean that it wasright that he said that, but he
was upset, you know, and it justgoes to show.
These emotions have been heresince the beginning of time.
It's nothing new.
The problem comes in how youhandle it.
So I tell people this even youcan go biblically, you can go
therapeutically all emotions arevalid.
The way you handle thoseemotions maybe not so much good

(11:54):
point.

Speaker 1 (11:54):
Good point.
Good to know all emotions arevalid.

Speaker 2 (11:58):
The way you handle them may not be right, okay,
okay, right, you can be angry,but that doesn't mean you can
put hands on people, okay.

Speaker 1 (12:06):
So it's okay for you to have a crash out, as long as
your crash out doesn't result inyou hurting anybody else or
yourself.

Speaker 2 (12:12):
Fair, yes, fair, okay , for sure, I still keep the
rage rooms all the time Crashout in there Right Now.

Speaker 1 (12:22):
We know we are both believers and so we kind of
touched on our faith and thingslike that.
But how do you think that faithand prayer support mental
health and why mightprofessional help still be
necessary?
Because I'm going to say thisreally quickly Sometimes in
communities of faith, therapyand medicine concerning mental

(12:46):
health is kind of looked at astaboo or as if maybe you don't
have enough faith because you'renot being healed from them,
from healed from this particularissue with god alone.
So can you speak to the facthow faith can support mental
health and then how canprofessional help still be
necessary in some cases?

Speaker 2 (13:07):
okay, I love this question.
It's actually one that I goover in my intakes with my
clients.
Okay, I'm just fyi, I don'tlabel myself as a christian
therapist.
I'm a therapist who happens tobe a christian, because I don't
want anybody who's not achristian to feel like, oh, I
can't go to her, she won't beable to help me.
That is not true, right?
And even when I mentioned thespiritual aspect of what we have

(13:30):
to get healthy to balance right, who aren't necessarily
christian, they kind of likewhat does that mean?
Right?
I don't care whether you'reatheist, agnostic, christian,
muslim, buddhist, whatever,everybody has an aspect of
spiritual health that they tendto.
So, whatever it is that you do,we're gonna figure out how to

(13:52):
incorporate it into your mentalhealth.
Why does it matter?
Because it's normally afoundation of grounding for us
practices.
It's normally calming in manyways if you're deep diving into
whatever your religiouspractices may be.
For me specifically, I know ifI'm anxious or if you know I

(14:15):
have recent thoughts or whateverthe case may be, I can pause
and pray, do some breathingexercises.
I can pause and listen toworship music.
Again, I'm back right aroundlevel to be able to function.
And so it looks the same forpeople of other practice.
Some people will pause and godo yoga.

(14:37):
Some people will pause and, youknow, do their crystal work.
I have had all sorts of clientsthat they do what they do, but
if it's around you, then youknow it brings that peace in it.
Now, from a Christianstandpoint, you were saying how
it's kind of taboo and they lookat it like you don't believe in

(14:57):
God enough.
I'm going to say this God hasequipped us with everything we
need on this earth, whether itbe within nature somewhere, or
the people he's blessed us with,with the brilliant ideas and
minds that they have to createservices, to create everything,

(15:17):
and I think we have done thebody of Christ a disservice by
feeling like you can only serveand be in ministry in one way in
the church.
So you mean to tell me thereare no doctors whose God's hands
are blessed?
You better hope that there areno surgeons, right, come on.
No bankers, no financialadvisors, right?
That is not true.

(15:39):
We serve the body of Christ inmany different ways and therapy
is one of them.
Therapy was an idea planted inme with God a long time ago as a
teenager.
He told me I didn't know whatit meant or what he said.
You know, god is never, alwayscrystal clear, but a long time
ago I was.
It was a devastating moment inmy life.

(16:00):
I was having a heartbreak andfrom just my life circumstances
and trauma that I was goingthrough and I was crying like
crying a river right and talkingabout it gosh, it's like
breathe.
I'm gonna use this pain andthings you've been through to
help other people, not go, notgoing to make me right, right,

(16:26):
right, tell me what that lookslike god and long story short.
It started the snowball effectof me learning about psychology
and mental health and whattherapy was.
And here I am wow, wow wow yousaid so much.

Speaker 1 (16:43):
You said so much.
I love specifically that yousaid that there is scripture
that says that God has equippedus with everything that we need
in this life, and when we areabout to apply for a mortgage,
we pray that God touched thehand of the mortgage.
When we are about to undergo amedical procedure, we pray that

(17:03):
god touched the hands of thephysician.
When we are about to go beforea judge, we pray that we say,
god, the heart of the king is inyour hand.
But when we need therapy, whenwe need mental health resources,
when we need tips, when we needwisdom, we we negate to pray to
the god, who is the God ofwisdom to touch those people

(17:25):
that he has raised upspecifically for that issue.
Right, it's just so funny.
It's like where did we get that?
You know I hate to feel like orsound like a broken record when
I know that this theory hasprobably been mentioned in some
other podcasts across the world.

(17:45):
But I think that that type ofsuppression, that type of hiding
and faking it until you make it, is stemmed in slavery.
I think we're, yeah, whereyou've had to kind of like put
on face and keep them going andpushing and just you know, and
then that behavior is kind oflearned and taught and
generationally you know what Imean.

(18:06):
Like I don't see mygrandparents go to therapy, so
it's so much to uncover there,so much so because you said that
.

Speaker 2 (18:13):
I'm glad you said that I'm going to send a book to
you and the audience.
So, okay, dr joy degray, shewrote a book called
post-traumatic slave syndrome.
She's a therapist, she's apsychologist and an author,
obviously, and it talks aboutwhat you just said, like how
some of the things that are sodeeply rooted in our communities

(18:34):
go all the way back to slavery.
Wow, and the mindsets that wehave about certain things, from
how we relate to our children tohow we show up in the world as
men and women, and all it wasrooted in how we had to survive
that period ancestrally backthen.
So, wow, yeah, it was a goodread, it's.

(18:57):
I'm not gonna lie.
There are rough parts because,well, for me that I'm very
sensitive to people, theiremotions, their experiences and
having to be, not having to bebecause I choose.
I read a lot of things, butbeing reminded of some of the
things we went through as people, it was rough.
I had to pause.

Speaker 1 (19:18):
I'm just like what?
Yeah, I'm like that too.
Too, I'm very sensitive.
It brings, yeah, yeah, standardtoo, so I it's a.

Speaker 2 (19:26):
It's a good read.
It's a good book.

Speaker 1 (19:28):
Yeah, okay, so I'll add that to.
I have a link, uh, a list ofbooks that I'm actually reading
through this, uh, trauma healing, mental health journey that are
listed in the show notes, andI'm going to add that one as
well.
Yeah, I actually thought thatwe can read, like, do I need to?
I was like, maybe we need a, weneed a mental health book club
as well we need to get a couplethings.

(19:48):
Actually, it's not a bad ideafor sure, yeah, we need to get
that together now.
So we talked, we spoke a littlebit about faith, and you know
the importance of combining, orI would say the importance of
bridging the gap between faithand mental health.
Um, I can say that in the, thechurch that I belong to, the
very first time, um, I shared mystory about trauma and mental

(20:11):
health issues.
I shared it on my podcast and Iposted the podcast one of the
first episodes on my, on my uh,facebook and my.
My pastor happened to listen toit and he caught me up and he
was like Eve, you have to sharethis with the church.
And I'm like, well, like it wasone thing to share over the air
, but to be in front of people.
I was like, you know, these arepeople I see every week and I'm

(20:33):
like some of them had no ideasfor the things I had gone
through, let alone struggle withbecause of what I've gone
through.
So I was like I don't know,pastor, he was like, no, I need
you to share.
But what I will say is I havebeen very fortunate to belong to
a congregation that gives spaceto trauma and mental health,

(20:54):
because it's not something thatyou could freely even speak of
and, if I dare to say, thatsometimes, when you do speak
about it, in religiouscommunities everything can be
labeled a demon.
Now, we do know.
We do know that we have anadversary and that the devil is
real and sometimes, like yousaid, it could be, there could

(21:16):
be chemical imbalances,sometimes mental health issues
can be trauma-induced or traumarelated.
You know all of those thingsand think, just like you said we
do ourself a disservice when weare not educated on these
different um aspects, so thatwe're not always casting the
devil out of somebody every weekwho's at the altar, who may

(21:36):
just need a little bit of, whomay just need a couple of talk
sessions, who may just need somemeds.
You know what I mean.
So my question is how do youthink that religious leaders can
better support those strugglingwith mental health challenges
or trauma-related challenges?
How do you think that they canmake a difference?

Speaker 2 (21:58):
I think some of the best pastors also tend to their
own mental health.
They probably have a therapistright and from what I've seen
when they do, they advocate fortherapy in the pulpit, they
encourage it right.
Some churches I've come to findwhich I am ecstatic about, have

(22:18):
an actual ministry in churchwhere they have a therapist who
a part of the congregation andthey I don't know how they work
it out, whether they'reemployees or they volunteer
their time, but you can go thereto speak to them about
different things in a way.
So really just being educatedin the know and having tangible

(22:39):
resources for people to go seekthe help that they need, because
another thing people don't talkabout it is hard to find a good
therapy oh yes, it is.
The problem is I tell peopleit's kind of like dating you got
to be ready to like try it outa few times and it's like let's
go to the next right that's truebefore you give up.

(23:02):
So if it helps, when you havevetted and vouched for resources
already available, that you cansay, hey, here are a list of
therapies that can assist you inthese areas they are of the
faith or whatever the case maybe.
I think that would be the bestthing.
That, uh, any leader in areligious.
I love that.
I love that.

Speaker 1 (23:19):
I think that's be the best thing that any leader in a
religious school could do.
I love that.
I love that.
I think that's awesome.
I remember I was on my way tochurch one day and as I was
taking my exit off the highway,there was a hospital that's
closest to where I go to churchand it had a big blue H for
hospital and underneath the H ithad trauma center, and the area
where I live live thisparticular hospital is known for

(23:42):
wound care, trauma care, and Ithought to myself, what if the
church had a trauma center?
What, what if, in conjunctionto new members class, we also
have a mental health class?
You know, you know, because Ithink to myself, especially in
churches where there isdeliverance that takes place, I

(24:03):
think to myself you know, whenyou come to the altar and you
get that initial touch, you'refeeling great, you're feeling
good, you're feeling likeeverything's fine, everything's
okay, but sometimes we cannegate that there's a deeper
work that needs to be done.
Right, that will only takeplace through, you know, through
a process, right, and, like yousaid, if we have those

(24:25):
individuals in our, in ourcongregations, or even the
resources, even the information,that we can say, hey, listen, I
understand you might be goingthrough something right now.
In addition to how we're goingto help you um spiritually, here
are some practical resources aswell.
Right because we?
Right Because we negate thepractical resources you know
what I mean.

Speaker 2 (24:44):
I don't know why people do, and it's only when it
comes to certain things,because I bet you they have a
list of food pantries.
I bet you they have a list ofhomeless, shelters and where you
can get clothes and things likethat.
So it's incorporating allthings that are going to be
necessary in the humanexperience, which I'm praying to
God, one day I'll be able toadd to that with a non-profit.

Speaker 1 (25:07):
So yeah, I thought that was profound what you said.
Just you know, you said goodleaders, they advocate for
therapists or therapy, ratherfor sure.

Speaker 2 (25:18):
I think that people also staying on the spiritual
tip in terms of church well, Ican just go get counseling in
church, you can.
Most church counselors are notlicensed, so you get whatever
guidance they have from theirown life experiences, not saying

(25:41):
it's bad.
There are some very wise peoplewho say it's serious, but
they're not clinically trainedso they might not necessarily
know how to handle some of thethings that you bring to the
table.
Right.
We speak a lot about the traumaand talking about it.

(26:02):
That's only one tiny portion ofhow you navigate through that
and heal through it.
There's also a somatic aspectof trauma and if you're not
trained they won't know how tohelp you regulate, how to help
you release those thingssomatically in your body.
So talk therapy isn't all youneed when you've been through
trauma wow, wow, that's good.

Speaker 1 (26:22):
That's good that you said that, because when I first
started um seeking therapy, Ididn't realize that I
specifically needed atrauma-informed therapist, and
so I wasn't necessarily gettingwhat I needed, although I was
talking about some of the thingsI had going through.
I didn't know how to processthose emotions.
I did not know how to sit withthem, how to accept them.

(26:43):
I didn't even know what to doafter therapy because because,
believe it or not, after yourtherapy session I feel like you,
there's a self-care, there's arecovery period that you need
because you are releasing somethings, and I kind of felt like
you're you are most vulnerableafter you've had a therapy
session, depending on how deepyou've gone.
You know you could besusceptible to, you know, more

(27:06):
triggers or just discouragement,and so I feel like it is most.
It is very important Now weunderstand that there's also a
social, cultural impact when itcomes to mental health.
And you know, sometimes I findthat people almost consider
mental health contagious, likeif I'm depressed and I sneeze,

(27:26):
you're not going to getdepression right, like it's not
contagious, baby, you're notgoing to catch it.
And now you might go throughsomething in your own life
experiences that could warrantsome depressive episodes, but
you're not going to catch itfrom me, right?
It's okay for you to support me, it's okay for you to pray for
me, it's okay for you to be forthere to for me and listen to me
, like when I think about thestory of joe, when he had lost

(27:49):
all of his children you know somuch things and one day he lost
all of this stuff and his wifewas like um, I don't know about
you, but if I was you, I wouldcurse god and die at this point.
But what I love about thatstory is and I'm going to always
go Bible, because that's wheremy heart is.
But what I love about thatstory, the Bible says that for
the first I think it was threeor seven days his friends just

(28:11):
sat with him.
They didn't even say nothing.
They just sat there like.
You know what I mean.
How can I show up for somebodywho's going through something
you know, emotionally, mentally?
How can we be there for one?

Speaker 2 (28:23):
another.
That's a good question, becausea lot of people don't know how
to do that.
Um, sometimes it is what youjust said, just being there.
They don't need you to sayanything, they don't need you to
have the perfect words rightthey just need you to be there
and they're helping them cook,help them clean.

(28:47):
You know, go get out the house,have some fun.
Right, practical things because, being honest, anybody who's
gone through a depressiveepisode you understand those
practical things get moredifficult by the day.
And when I mean practical, Imean something is simple,
depending on how severe, ofcourse.
Did you?
Did you shower today?

(29:08):
Did you eat?
When's the last time you washedyour hair?
Let me wash your hair, right?
There are many ways, but Iwould always, first and foremost
, ask yeah, and and.
If people now this is to mypeople struggling, if somebody
asks, don't say nothing, I'mfine, right, need being able to

(29:29):
articulate that and feel free ofjudgment.
If somebody's asking you, it'sbecause they love you enough to
want to show up for you in thebest way that they possibly can
so say that again, if somebody'sasking you.
What now?
It's because they love you andwant to show up for you in the
best way that they possibly canI love that.
I love that how else will Iknow how to do that without

(29:51):
guessing if you don't tell meright?
So if you need help cooking orfiguring out food, maybe I don't
know how to cook, but I couldorder this meal service for you.
Right, or maybe right?
I'm not the best at cleaning,but I can help you do these
things, and maybe I'll throw yousome cash to pay for a maid or
some cleaning services, whatever.

Speaker 1 (30:10):
There's so many different ways you show up for
people, um, and it doesn'talways cost money right, right,
but yeah, just being there, justshowing up for that person,
just you know, you know, andsometimes, like you said, that
means sitting in silence.
Sometimes that means picking upa broom, Sometimes that means
offering to do their hair or tomaybe pick up their kids from

(30:30):
daycare or something like that.
But I just feel like I know wehave sometimes ingrained in our
mindsets it's about my four andno more, you know like, but the
reality of it is is we are abrother's keeper, right Cause
you can turn on five o'clocknews tonight and you'll see
somebody saying oh my goodness,I had no idea that they were

(30:51):
going through this.
You know, I had no idea.
When I see them every day andyou know, they just look like
they were, they were.
But you know, what does it costfor you to maybe just break up
the monotony of your routine andsay is everything OK?
And then, on the other spectrum, like you said, we do also have
to be open and transparent andsay girl, I'm going to crash out
.
This is a lot of stuff going onhere.

(31:11):
You know I'm this close tolosing it.
You have to be open and honest,you know so.

Speaker 2 (31:16):
And it's tricky because you can't be vulnerable
with everybody and you kind ofjust have to be able to gauge
that.
But if it's your people, yourcommunity, you should be able to
, and if not, you might need torestructure your community.

Speaker 1 (31:33):
Say that for real.
Check your friend group.

Speaker 2 (31:38):
I mean if you feel guilty telling your friend about
how you're struggling with yourmental health or you feel like
they're gonna judge you, wemight need to discuss if that's
your friend right, baby, theyain't your friend.

Speaker 1 (31:53):
We need some new friends.
Um, what do you think theconsequences are of ignoring
mental health at a communitylevel, in a societal level?
What do you think theconsequences are of ignoring
mental health at a communitylevel, in a societal level?
What do you think theconsequences are?

Speaker 2 (32:08):
the consequences run deep.
We see them every day.
Um, my greatest example of thatis, statistically speaking,
women are more likely to go totherapy than men.
Okay, okay, and a lot of thatcomes again from what we were

(32:28):
talking about earlier, just thestigma of what it means to be a
strong man, a masculine man, aman who carries the load of
everything.
Right, and it's wonderful thatyou can, because I have clients
that are men and I have torestructure how they think and
how they talk sometimes, becausethey'll downplay or dismiss how

(32:48):
they feel and what they'regoing through, just say but I'm
a man, I'm supposed to handle it.
Wait a minute.
You're also human and, yes,you're strong and you can bear
these burdens, but it doesn'tmean that you have to suffer
under the weight that you'restruggling to carry.
So, societal wise, creatingthat stigma of if you go do this

(33:11):
, there's something wrong withyou or it makes you weaker or
less than is not true, and thatis damaging in itself to society
, because that's how people showup.

Speaker 1 (33:20):
If I'm a man and I can't cry.

Speaker 2 (33:22):
This anger has to come out some kind of way.
So if I knock your teeth out, Idon't want to hear it because
you told me to cry Right, right.
Or same with women, right.
Just in terms of how we dealwith it in a healthy way.
If we're not encouraged from acommunal level and you know,
within our friend groups andthings like that we find other

(33:43):
ways to release and are notalways healthy Anybody with an
addiction.
They're running for somethingthey want to heal from and it
doesn't matter what theaddiction is, whether it's drugs
, alcohol, whether it's sex andpornography, whether it's sex
and pornography, whether it'sgambling or whatever it is used
to self-medicate and run awayfrom the things that they do not

(34:07):
feel comfortable or privy tobeing able to process.

Speaker 1 (34:11):
Whoo, that's deep, because I ain't going to lie, I
like to shoe shop.
Now I got to go shopping oh mygoodness, I've gotten much
better, because I used to beevery week.
I had to go.
Give me a pair of shoes, yeah.
But what I didn't know is I haddeveloped this negative coping
mechanism and, instead of medealing with, you know what I
really felt on the inside.
I was like charged it up rightretail therapy, um.

(34:38):
So that's good that you spoketo that.
We know that the work that youand I are doing and others like
us are hopefully working to, youknow, decrease the stigma
surrounding mental health.
But how do you think the stigmaaround mental health
specifically, how does it affectpeople, willingness to go get
help?

Speaker 2 (34:56):
I think it's just that, the stigma alone and not
understanding it.
They don't want labels on themLike I.
I've had clients from alldifferent cultures, right, and
what I've come to find mostcommonly Okay Is a black, brown,
asian communities.
We have such huge stigmas.

(35:18):
What it means to go seek helpmentally Right, it turns people.
I've even had clients who werelike you don't tell anybody that
I'm here, right, because myparents can't now, wow, they
won't touch me for it.
They won't talk to me anymore.
They will label me as X, y, z,just depending on what cultural
standpoint you're coming fromRight.
But it's the biggest impact.

(35:42):
If there was no stigma, I thinkpeople would be more likely to
just go get help.
Just to say well, I can't evensay that, because there is a
stigma with physical health too.
Some people won't go to thedoctor, yeah, that's true.
People not in the hospital.
Right, you need to go to thehospital.
So I think stigmas are a bigpart of why yeah I resisted to

(36:06):
going to get help and I see alot of therapists now talking
about it, um, from differentstandpoints, to try to break
that stigma.
Yeah, it makes my heart so happybecause, yeah, I try to like
ease people into it, and everyfight that I've ever had was
just like such and such told meto be here.
I don't really see the point ofthis.
Talking about your feelingsisn't going to help.

(36:27):
Once we get to work, they'rejust like oh, it's not that bad,
right, right, right, right,right, I like coming.
When's our next session?
Yeah, exactly, exactly.
There are everyday situationswhere you're still talking about
your problems to people and youdon't realize you would be
better in a professional setting.
People who be ranting on socialmedia I was about to say

(36:50):
Facebook, twitter, instagram,the videos.
You could do that in a sessionand not have everybody in your
business, right?

Speaker 1 (36:59):
Because especially not have everybody first of all,
especially not have everybodyfirst of all who are not
qualified to even answer you orwho are going to judge you, who
are going to mock you andmislabel you, yeah so a lot of
times they make it worse, makeit worse, and then you know and
unfortunately you're spiralingnow because you've told somebody
who wasn't equipped to handlewhat you've carried, what you've

(37:19):
gone through, and believe it ornot most people and I I've come
to find this out by sharing mytestimony and share some things
I've gone through.
Three out of the four people inyour friend group or circle have
gone through either somethingsimilar, if not worse than what
you've experienced, andsometimes it takes you being the
one to say, okay, I'm going tobe be this one to want to step

(37:41):
out and go get help so that wecan both, or all of us can heal.
Now I want to get personal now.
Now I talked about some of thethings.
Well, I've talked about thefact that I have experienced
trauma.
A lot of, I will say a lot ofthe mental health issues that I
have experienced and am stillprocessing through was as a

(38:04):
result of the childhood trauma Iwent through.

Speaker 2 (38:06):
But what do you?

Speaker 1 (38:08):
think like how has mental health whether it be your
own or family members, how hasit shaped your experience?
I know you talked about um, whyyou wanted to become a
therapist.

Speaker 2 (38:17):
Yeah, I had a traumatic childhood and
traumatic experiences inadulthood too.
So it started with that.
Like I wish I knew what mentalhealth was back then and what a
therapist was back then, becauseI probably would have asked for
it.
Um, growing up, I went throughsevere depression.

(38:43):
My father was abusive in everysense of the word, and that
caused a lot of emotional issueswith me.
Um, into my teenage years I gotto, I became suicidal and I
didn't know what to do withthose emotions.
Thank God my mother forced usto go to church, because that is

(39:07):
actually where I found mysolace.
I was just like I needsomething.
So I'm going to try this Godthing out and see what happens.
And he blessed me so much Likehe cared for me from that sense.
So my own mental health is whyI do this.
Having experiences and goingthrough so many different
scenarios, I know that peopleare out here just struggling and

(39:30):
I always said, if I could be aresource to help them figure it
out in any way, in any capacity,I would be honored to do so,
just to navigate the strugglesthat they go through.

Speaker 1 (39:42):
That is my favorite part of my job is to being able
to be a safe space for people tobe vulnerable and figure things
out, and then to watch live inaction their lives just turn
around is my favorite thing,yeah yeah, awesome, awesome yeah
always, always, say thatthere's pain, I'm sorry, there's
purpose in our pain and Ibelieve that even more and more

(40:06):
and more, you know, as Icontinue to do, you know, to
share my testimony and to try to, you know, spread the awareness
of trauma and mental when wesay it like that you do go
through for other people.
But I feel like, if, if you,the bible says we're going to

(40:27):
have trouble in this life, we'regoing to go through things, and
if you're going to go throughalready, why not use what you've
gone through to help somebodyelse or to or to possibly
prevent somebody else from fromgoing through what you've gone
through?
So absolutely yeah.

Speaker 2 (40:41):
Each one teach one right.

Speaker 1 (40:42):
Exactly.
You'll figure it out, maybethey won't Right or maybe it'll
take them a long time, becausesome of the stuff that I'm just
now coming to understand I'mlike dang, how come anybody tell
me this?
So I appreciate, I canappreciate now who I am becoming
and hopefully who I'm becomingwill be able to help somebody

(41:05):
else so they won't be at my agejust now, realizing they're just
now, you know, coming tounderstand, you know the
importance of mental health.

Speaker 2 (41:12):
I'm glad you mentioned age.
There's no age that's too oldto start, one of my oldest
clients.
He was 82.
And I asked him, of course Iwas like he started with me when
he was 80.
Okay, I was like now, why didyou wait?
And he was just like you knowwhat.

(41:33):
To be honest, I was scared yeahmy age, growing up, we didn't
talk about these things.
We didn't know what to do withthese things I knew what I know
now right way sooner.
He's like wow, I could have usedmy 20s, I could have used this
in my 30s, 40s age, but I wasjust like.
He's definitely a reminder andproof that he's never too old to

(41:58):
want to seek change and thatthat's essentially what he said.
He said I'm still here, sowhile I'm here, I want to still
be the better version that Icould be.

Speaker 1 (42:07):
Wow.
So I love that because he's 80years old, or 82 years old, 80
when he first began seekingtherapy.
And you know, when I thinkabout, like, how things affect
us generationally and when Ithink about that age group, you
know, like I said, I never sawmy caregivers or people that age

(42:28):
group aunties and uncles,grandparents even talk about
therapy, let alone, you know, goto therapy.
Like you said, sometimes theydidn't even trust, you know, the
physical doctors, you know, ormedical doctors I should say so
to um to hear that he was likeyou know what never too late,
I'm still alive, I'm gonna gosee about my mental health.
I think that's awesome, um, Ithink that's awesome and I think

(42:50):
that even while, like, in thiscurrent age, I'll say you, you
hear you were hearing a lotabout it more on social media
people are talking aboutdepression and anxiety.
I love that there is such anawareness toward it, but I
almost am, at the same time, alittle bit like Leary, because I
think in some cases, somepeople are kind of like making

(43:12):
it a cool thing it's cool that Ihave anxiety, it's cool that I
take depression meds, you know,it's cool that I have a
therapist.
And while there are obviousbenefits for taking your
medication, obviously, and goingto therapists, I don't know if
I like the fact that.
If I don't know if I like whereit's going, where I feel like,

(43:34):
where it could possibly be.
Making the younger generationthink um long-term mental health
issues are okay I think it'sdoing the opposite.

Speaker 2 (43:44):
I think it's letting them know like if you have these
, it's okay, and making it lessof a thing.
Younger generations are quickto be like yeah, I got therapy
at such and such time.
Yeah, that's true you don'tcare, you got a therapy.
Yeah, do you not?

Speaker 1 (43:58):
Right, right, why you don't got one?
What's the?

Speaker 2 (44:00):
problem Becoming Right right, why you don't got
one?
What's the problem?
Right, it's becoming sonormalized.
It's just another one of thosethings.
It's no different than somebodynow looking at just like oh
well, I have insert physicalailment here and it's not a big
deal it's like oh, you go to thedoctor for that.

Speaker 1 (44:20):
Okay, cool yeah.
No big deal yeah.

Speaker 2 (44:32):
I just think that's just the way that this newer
generation is going about it.
And also, if you've ever gonethrough anything, most people
end up with some type of darkhumor.
Yeah, that's true, a lot ofthings.
It's easier to just laugh at itlike, yeah, that's true, that's
true jokes about the thingsthat they go through, because
it's just like what else am Isupposed to do with it?
some of these things,unfortunately they are lifelong
they're not where, and you, ifyou do have something that is in

(44:56):
that category, it helps to knowit's okay and other people are
struggling with it too, dealingwith it too.
There are resources, and I'mnot alone in trying.

Speaker 1 (45:07):
Yeah, yeah, that's true.
I guess I didn't think about itlike that because, like you
said, well, for me, the personthat my personality type is like
let's hurry and get throughthis, let's get rid of this
problem, let's be over this, umand what.
I guess, as I reflect now thatI'm, now that I think about it,
because I didn't know what thethe timeframe was when the Lord
really started dealing with meregarding my own trauma, I'm

(45:28):
thinking like I'm going to tellmy story.
You know, this is going to beit.
I'm going to help a couple ofpeople and like I'm out of the
woods.
But then I started realizinglike, wait a minute, I'm a
little bit anxious, wait aminute, I'm you know, okay, this

(45:50):
is post-traumatic stress, youknow, um.
And then I started to get thesediagnoses and I'm like, oh,
some of this stuff, like yousaid, can, you can live, it
could be lifelong.
And I read somewhere that, um,people who have experienced
trauma can, can be affected 50years post the event.

Speaker 2 (46:05):
And I'm like, oh, that's me because a lot of times
, if it's unhealed or untreated,you find yourself in different
situations and relationshipsthat'll re-trigger those things
or cause additional trauma, andnow you have added more time
onto that right oh my gosh, sonow you've added more time.

Speaker 1 (46:25):
Wow, I didn't even realize that.

Speaker 2 (46:26):
But also I'm going to say this because I'm glad you
said that there is no such thingas being there's no healing
finish line, like there is not.

Speaker 1 (46:35):
So it's not linear.

Speaker 2 (46:36):
No, it's not linear and there's no finish line,
because you will never reachperfection.
And in order for you to reachperfection and also not ever be
bothered by anything that you'veever gone through again, we
would have to delete your memory.
We don't have little men inblack pen where we can zap it
and you, you don't rememberthese things.
What changes over time is howit shows up in your body or how

(46:59):
you respond to it.
Yeah, it impacts you, right?
That's what takes over time,that's what healing looks like.
But there's no.

Speaker 1 (47:07):
There's no that okay, I love that, so, so, okay.
So healing is not necessarilythe absence of pain, but maybe
the absence of this the previousresponse you had to that pain
yes, essentially it's how itshows up for you and you being
able to cope and handle it in ahealthy way.

Speaker 2 (47:29):
Right, somebody might trigger you, but if you've done
your work, if you've done somehealing work, it doesn't
debilitate you the way it usedto.
It doesn't fire you up the waythat it used to.
It's just you look at itcompletely different and you're
able to move on faster and it'sto enjoy your life.
So that's, that's essentiallywhat the healing journey is.

(47:49):
It's not like oh, I've arrived.
No, you haven't, because you'renot gonna reach perfection.
There's always something youcould be working on, right and
it may not always be a result ofyour trauma or your depression,
but there's always self-work todo yeah, so anybody?

Speaker 1 (48:07):
well, she's speaking to me now because I have this
problem with perfectionism.
Anybody who's struggling withperfectionism or who's, you know
, trying to reach perfection.
You're not.
You're not gonna get there, butwhat you will pick up is a set
of skills, that healthy copingmechanisms, and a set of skills
that will help you deal withwhat you are experiencing, or

(48:28):
even that which life can bringon an everyday basis.
Yeah, but you won't be perfect,all right.
So I got to take a mental noteof that, because I'm telling you
sometimes I'm like oh no, I'mgoing to get this under control.
Look, I ain't going to never gothrough this again.
I ain't never feeling thisagain.

Speaker 2 (48:49):
I ain't gonna never go through this again.
I ain't never feeling thisagain.
I ain't never experiencing thisagain.
Well, some of you might not,some of you might not.
There are layers to it.
It's layers to healing.
It is a journey.
There might be things that itdoesn't matter to you anymore
and it never will, but then,after you heal that, something
else pops up in your life.
I didn't know.

Speaker 1 (49:01):
I struggled with this let me figure out how to deal
with this part now.
Right, right, you know, I knowbecause I feel like it's like
you said, it is layers, becauseonce you pull back one layer or
something else, I'm like dangwhat I'm gonna deal with that,
to where you discover differentthings about yourself.

Speaker 2 (49:21):
You also have to remember you change as you
engage in different situationsIf you become a mom, if you get
married, if you you know as youage, or if you become a
caregiver, your job, whateverit's going to call different
things to be pulled out of youwhich may highlight and shine
some light on things of oh, Ididn't know I had that struggle,

(49:42):
I didn't know I had this issue.
I need to work on that.
I need to talk about that,right, yeah, you don't know you
can't handle stress if you'venever been in a stress right,
because my problem is.

Speaker 1 (49:54):
Okay, I'm gonna go a little deep.
Okay, put me on the couch for asecond let me know how much you
care for this session.
listen, this my problem is.
So I deal with one issue, right, I'm like'm like, okay, I deal
with that issue.
I got to find some copingmechanisms.
I can journal, I can deepbreathe.
Okay, good, I'm good in thisissue.
But then when another problemcomes, I'm sometimes thinking
like wait a minute, how come?

(50:15):
When I dealt with the lastissue, this wasn't like all
included.
How come?
This wasn't like a masterylevel thing.
This wasn't like a masterylevel thing.
This wasn't, like you know, allinclusive.
Now I got to do it.
It's not all inclusive, baby,you got to pay.
So I'm mad about that.
I feel a way about that.
I don't want to work on nothingelse, lord, I want to be one

(50:37):
and done.

Speaker 2 (50:38):
It can be frustrating , but it's necessary, right, in
order to be the better versionof you.
There was only one perfectperson on earth.
That's true that is true sothat's the other part, but you
know what, bringing backChristianity into it, it's a

(50:59):
reminder that you need a saviorbecause you're not always going
to need help with somethingalways going to need help, if
you always gonna need help withsomething always going to be, if
you don't need help withanything.
Where is where?
Where does he stand?
oh, that's true you're alwaysgonna help with something
because we're not perfect.
Yeah, and you won't be, and Ifeel like uh yeah, and life's
life reminds you of that it's, Ithink, not all of it, but there

(51:24):
are some aspects of life thatare designed to make sure we
remain humble oh yeah you ain'tas hot as you think you are and
I feel like God keep his foot onmy neck.

Speaker 1 (51:35):
Just in case you think you have arrived right,
I'm going to show you where youhaven't.
But, um, I consider that a partof his grace, though.
I consider that a part of hisgrace, though.
I consider that a part of hismercy, for sure.
Well, I have a few otherquestions, because we haven't
had a time.
We might have to come back forpart two because, this is
getting good.
Now we kind of touched on this.

(51:56):
You know how mental healthshaped your own personal
experience, or how your personalexperience shaped your mental
health and your passion formental health.
Why do you think it's importantto normalize you know, talking
about therapy any emotionalstruggles but then also giving
that early attention to it, youknow catching it early.

Speaker 2 (52:14):
Yeah, the earlier, the earlier the better.
Think of it like anything thatany diagnosis that you get yeah,
earlier the better.
That you know because you maybe able to prevent it from going
into the severe realm.
You may and, mental healthspeaking, you can prevent the
severity.

(52:34):
You can also prevent thedestruction that is caused on
the way to that.
Okay, um, another aspect that Iwant to mention.
A lot of people think well, Idon't have nothing to heal from.
Ain't nothing happened to me?
Therapy's not just for that,it's also life skills.
I teach people how tocommunicate, how to handle
conflict.
A lot of people don't know howto do that and think about it

(52:58):
this way if we had learned howto communicate in kindergarten,
the same way we learned how toshare right, we would be 10
times of a better person growingon here as we formed actual
relationships right so theearlier you catch something or
realize you need to work onsomething, the better you off

(53:21):
are with it and you have moretime to sharpen that skill and
just be better at it.

Speaker 1 (53:25):
Wow.

Speaker 2 (53:28):
Or save yourself from some pain.
What's that?
Or I said or save yourself fromsome pain.

Speaker 1 (53:33):
Yeah, certainly.
In addition to talk therapy, inaddition to our spiritual
practices, there's also amedicinal avenue that we can
take right, and sometimes peopleshy away from that for all
types of reasons, whether theirbelief is that if they take
medicine, they could possiblybecome addicted to it, or the

(53:56):
medicine could possibly makethem worse than they are, or, in
terms of faith communities,this means that they're not
trusting God, or something likethat.
Can you just speak to theimportance and the benefits of
possibly not only beingprescribed you know medicine but
taking it and accepting thefact that it's okay to take it?

Speaker 2 (54:17):
Mm-hmm.
So my approach with medication.
It's not my first go-to,because a lot of things can be
solved with coping skills,lifestyle changes, including
diet and exercise.
People leave that part out.
Okay, sometimes, what you'reconsuming, food-wise, especially

(54:39):
in America, there are so manyadditives in our food that are
causing the spike in some of ourhormone disruption, which
causes mood dysregulation andall these other things.
Right, wow?
So I always start my clients.
I call it just my basics.
We work, okay, how well you'resleeping.
We work on your physicalactivity, what you're eating,

(55:01):
how much water you're taking inthose things.
We do that first, along withthe therapeutic talking and
skills of that nature and a lotof people want.
After a few months of that,they're like I feel better, I'm
good, like.
I had one class she changed herdiet.
She took it seriously, changedher diet.
Within the first week she wasjust like.
I feel like my energy is justlike yeah, you were eating

(55:25):
garbage, girl, right, we can'tbe doing it a lot of times.
That's why you feel so fatiguedor things like that so I go that
route first and if we are stillexploring and going through
things and I'm realizing ittruly truly is like a severe
chemical imbalance that can'tnecessarily be corrected with
just okay.
I highly encourage it.
Medication for most things isnot something that you

(55:48):
necessarily have to take for therest of your life.
Okay, are there risks with it?
Yes, right, because it's anon-natural supplement that
you're putting in your body as amatter of.
I've been doing more researchon my own to have suggestions of
things my clients can tryherbally and naturally.

(56:09):
First, okay, because a lot ofpeople are anti-medication.
Okay, and, to be honest, a lotof them long-term over surgery
and that's any medicationactually is not meant for you to
be taking it for the rest ofyour life.

Speaker 1 (56:23):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (56:23):
What they rely on.
I'm gonna tell you a secretabout big pharma.
Hopefully don't come get me,but okay, you take this for x
amount of time now.
It's caused more problems, sonow you need another medication
for this problem, that iscreated, and you just keep
showing up needing medication,right?
Wow, and that's physical andmental it happens.

(56:45):
So, while it's not ideal formost people, sometimes it's
absolutely necessary becauseright now, at this stage of
medicine we're in, that is theonly way to help regulate some
brain chemical aspects of things.
Right, okay, um, medication foranxiety and depression that's
less likely to have to take forlong term what I'm saying long
term I mean like maybe if youhave schizophrenia, okay, I have

(57:09):
bipolar disorder.
Those chemical imbalances needsome assistance to be stabilized
over time.

Speaker 1 (57:15):
Okay, yeah, because you know, I thought, obviously,
when I began to go to therapyand I was diagnosed with, like I
said, depression andpost-traumatic stress disorder,
the very first time I spoke tosomeone they prescribed me
medicine and I was like I don'ttake no medicine, I'm not taking
that, I don't know what's in it, I don't want to.

(57:37):
You know, you had these ideasof how it would affect you and
my biggest thing was I felt like, I guess because I understood
that a lot of the issues that Ihad was, was, were because of
the trauma I went through I feltlike I needed to more, to rely
on more undoing those, you know,those coping mechanisms.

(57:58):
I needed to rely because I felt, I felt like the trauma didn't
necessarily give me a chemicalimbalance, more of a distorted
way of thinking, for sure, andthat was what made me anxious.
And, you know, sometimes it wasmy beliefs, my internal belief
system, and I felt like,personally, there's no

(58:20):
medication for that.
You know, you have to change.
Well, for me, me, this is whatmy idea was.
Yeah, for me, I was, I wasblessed enough to have been
introduced to jesus christ andto understand that his word is
what can change the way that youthink you know what I mean, um,
but I do understand that thereare people who who may or may
not be believers in Jesus Christ, but who also rely on medicine.

(58:45):
But I think my thought is thatwe have to begin to introduce
another way.

Speaker 2 (58:53):
Yeah, it also depends on the doctor and their
training, right?
If you're going to apsychiatrist that's what they
went to school for to prescribemedication.
They're not there to talk toyou about your problems.
Yeah, that's true, you wantsome medication, I'm gonna.
There are some, uh,psychiatrists that are also
therapists.
So, yeah, uh, a less aggressiveapproach with that.
At first they're like, let'stry these things first, then go.

(59:15):
But believe me, sometimes it'sjust necessary, like if I've
noticed that my clients are tooanxious to grasp coping skills
or they're too anxious to graspthe life changes that they need
to come out of the depression.
I will suggest they go getmedication and sometimes they
take it for like a couple monthsand they're still learning and

(59:35):
they're applying their copingskills, and then they get with
their doctors on a proper way totaper off and we're good.
Okay, off and we're good okay,just needed a boost because you
were so severe in the pits ofwhatever you were dealing with
couldn't even see clearly enoughto say like, okay, I should
practice.
Insert coke.
Yeah right, it happenssometimes.

(59:56):
It doesn't have to be forpeople.
Yeah well, I don't agree withyou.
Just met me and now you'regiving medication, right?
I really see like, oh no, it'sreally really bad yeah, well,
you, you mentioned something.

Speaker 1 (01:00:10):
You said that there are specific doctors.
Yeah, obviously that theirtheir specialty is you know
that's that's basically part oftheir job is to prescribe you
medicine.
So maybe you can give us someinformation regarding the
difference.
We know there's a primarydoctor, then we know that
there's a psychologist, thenthere's a psychiatrist right,
and then there then there'slicensed, licensed professional

(01:00:31):
counselors.
So can you give us like just alittle breakdown for somebody
who might be listening and belike well, which one am I
supposed to go to, you know?

Speaker 2 (01:00:37):
yes, just to be honest, even when I was coming
into the field I'm like wellwhich one.
Am I supposed to do?
Like?
What's the difference, right?
So psychiatrists are?
They go to school to prescribepsychiatric medicine?
They are.
They are medical doctors, buttheir focus is in mental health
medication and the research thatgoes into that, developing

(01:00:58):
practices and all those things.
Right, psychologists?
They are your doctoral leveltherapists in most cases, but
not all psychologists aretherapists, right psychologists?
and not have gone for yourlicensure for therapy okay two
different things right, which iswhy you can also be a therapist

(01:01:19):
and not a psychologist right,so a lot of.
It is an indicator of whatlevel of education you're at
psychologists they havedoctorate degrees of some sort
okay, psychologists andpsychiatrists they have doctors,
um, and there are differentbreakdowns for psychologists of
what types they can have.
You might see a sci-d or a phdfor a psychologist right

(01:01:42):
psychiatrists.
They are, they have their phd inpsychiatry and then, underneath
that umbrella, you have aplethora of different titles you
can have in terms of justmental health counseling and
licensed professionals.
Um, you can license socialworkers, can be um therapists
and counselors.
So you might see lcsw, you youmight see what I have, a lpc.

(01:02:05):
Licensed professional counselor, counselor and therapist are
words that could be usedinterchangeably.
There's no real difference withthat.
Okay, okay, in this fieldparticularly.
So I know it can get confusing.
Um, if ever you are, if youjust kind of ask, but if you're
going for therapy, make sure youask, like, what are your
therapy credentials?

(01:02:25):
And they should be able to telltheir license in therapies,
because some psychologists theyonly do research, they don't do
therapy I was gonna say yeahyeah, so it's different aspects
that you could pick up.

Speaker 1 (01:02:40):
Um, yeah, it just depends on what that person
wanted to do what would you sayto somebody who's saying okay, I
want to go speak to somebody, Idon't know where to start.
How do you find a therapist?
How do you you know, look forone.
I was always told to flip theback of your insurance card and
start there.
But do you have any tips orresources for?

Speaker 2 (01:03:01):
what I would say is do not google.
Do not google.
Don't go to webmd.
No, like that's it.
They can help.
Don't get me wrong.
It's not like you're not goingto find anything, but it's a lot
trickier to navigate thosepages to figure out, like, what

(01:03:21):
you're actually looking for.
But there are different typesof directories that were created
.
That house just lists oftherapists and their credentials
and their practices, right, andyou can even filter them out to
the type of insurance you havegender, cultural preferences,
sexual identity preferences, allsorts of things to narrow down
and see who could be a good fitfor you.

(01:03:42):
That is far easier than combingthrough google.
So the most popular one ispsychology today.
A lot of people have psychologytoday profiles.
I am on psychology today, butI'm also on therapy for black
girls.
That's my favorite platform, umfor black therapists dr joy
harden, bradford, bradford.
She created it.

(01:04:03):
Yes, I love her Girl.
So she created that one for aneasy database for people to find
black therapists.
It's not just for women,because I know the name.
Some guys are just like blackgirls.

Speaker 1 (01:04:15):
I guess I can't know what about the black boys Wait.

Speaker 2 (01:04:18):
You can look on there as well, because it's just a
directory.
They do also have therapy forblack men as a directory.
Um, awesome, there are so manydifferent kinds.
Look for the directories andthat will help you navigate,
like finding a therapist.
Okay, better than like googleor webmd, not to say that

(01:04:38):
therapists aren't on therebecause they psychology.
Today, at least, I'm withheadway.

Speaker 1 (01:04:42):
Sometimes they'll make us a webmd profile so okay,
you might be on there, but interms of navigating it gets a
little more tricky thank you,I'm glad you said that, um,
because you know, so many peopleare looking for these
researchers and don't know whereto start.
I I actually remember tellingdifferent people you know, oh,
you know, try this therapist,and then sometimes I get a
little bit selfish, like I don'twant them to have my same

(01:05:03):
therapist, like you know.
You know, like this she's justmy therapist, not yours, but, um
, I think that that is a good.
I'm going to actually try toput that in the show notes as
well.
It's just start with thedirectory so that, because, like
, we obviously might not be inthe same state you know what I
mean or you might not be this,um, same type of therapist.
Like, again, I have atrauma-informed therapist, so I

(01:05:25):
like that with the directoriesyou can find your perfect fit.
I've actually had I think I'vehad about four therapists before
I found my fit and I didn'trealize, right, you know, like
you said, you interview them,you start to talk to them, see
the qualifications and thingsthat I didn't realize.
Like, my first therapist was amale therapist.

(01:05:47):
He was great but he wasn'tperfect for me.
You know, I still had somethings I had to work on
regarding what I had gonethrough and I realized that I
could not do this with a maletherapist.
And so, um, and now today thetherapist I have is a female, a
black female, black Christianfemale.
Um, but that's what works for me, because, at the end of the day
, I know that, no matter what wejust I just fell in the or

(01:06:09):
disclosed in our meetings she'sgoing to put me back to the word
of God, like okay, I know youwant to crash out and I know you
want to, but what does the wordof God say about this?
So that's kind of my anchor,you know what I mean.
Whereas, though, if I maybe goto another type of therapist,
they may just be able to give mecertain, like you said, coping
mechanism, resources, skills andtips and things.

(01:06:31):
But I ultimately like tocompare whatever information I'm
getting to the word of God,like let's see if what you said,
if I can back this up withscripture then you know okay
yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:06:43):
For sure for sure then you know okay, yeah, for
sure, for sure.
Most of the time.

Speaker 1 (01:06:49):
I don't know if non-believing therapists know
this, but a lot of principles weteach.

Speaker 2 (01:06:51):
They're biblical.
I said a lot of the principlesand things we teach there's.

Speaker 1 (01:06:54):
There's bible for, oh yeah I remember going to group
therapy as well, as I hadindividual therapists and I had
a group therapist and they woulddo like affirmations for the
day and different things, andI'm like that's in the bible,
you got that from the king jamesversion, like I know where you
got that from.
And I want to say this that,although I am a believer, the
premise of the podcast and thepurpose of me, um, you know,

(01:07:16):
even having guests on the showeven talk about it, is not to
push christ on you.
You know, um, the holy spiritis a perfect gentleman.
He does not force himself onanyone.
The invitation stands,obviously, if you would like to
accept the lord into your lifeas your savior, um, but the
purpose of me doing this is I'mnot throwing bible scriptures

(01:07:36):
around to be a basher or tocondemn anyone.
It just so happens to be what,what works for me and what
anchors me.
I have tried all sorts of thingsthat really focused on me,
relying on me, like me, gettingme out of this jam me, you know,
harnessing some sort of power,but nothing has been beneficial

(01:07:58):
or substantial than the power ofGod and the power of the Holy
Spirit.
So for me, I have to speak tothat I would dishonor him, I
think, by not saying, like child, I wasn't able to do nothing,
but for the grace of God.
You know what I mean.
Because, the truth be told,like we spoke about earlier,
this whole healing journey, itis very much a process and for

(01:08:22):
me there are some days that I'mlike I quit this job, I ain't
working this, I ain't doing this, no more, lord.
And those days where I feel offor where I feel disconnected,
it is the Lord, it is prayer, itis reading the word that brings
me back.
You know, you talk aboutsomebody with dissociation, you
talk about somebody who wouldcheck out in a minute, but it's

(01:08:50):
nothing but God that brings meback back.
I don't have the keys to heavenand hell.
Only jesus does.
But what I can do, what I cansay, is that this is what has
worked for me and this has beenwhat has been most beneficial
for me.
You know, this is what has beenproving to me.
You know, you hear you used tohear the old saints say, like
try jesus.
And I'm like you know how youtry him.
Like what does that even work?
You know what I'm saying.
Like where do I show up for thetry?
Yeah, like, is there a tryout?

(01:09:12):
I mean, you know what?
Like is he at the building onmarket street, like where do you
do this at?
You know?
But I'm finding out more andmore that, um, not only is he a
way maker, not only does heprovide, not only does he save
your soul and give, promise youeternal life, but he helps you
with mind regulation, like hehelps you heal from past traumas

(01:09:36):
.
He's helped, helps you acceptand love yourself.
Like, oh, this is all that,this is possible, but you are,
I'm sticking with you.
Just, I'm sick beside you, so Ijust wanted to throw that
nugget in there.
Britney, it has been anabsolute yes, it has been an
absolute pleasure I we have tohave, we have to come back, like

(01:09:56):
we have to.
This was wonderful, oh my god Iso thoroughly enjoyed you, your
expertise, first of all, yourwhole spirit is just like I was
just like.

Speaker 2 (01:10:07):
Yeah, tell me more.

Speaker 1 (01:10:08):
Like what else do you want to say?
I am enraptured, so I justthank God for who you are.
There is such a presence overyou and I think, although I
don't know you in a form ofrelationship as as a therapist,
I can only imagine that yourclients are just so well
informed or just so delighted toexperience you and to to be

(01:10:31):
with you.
So I'm just saying kudos to you.
Um, keep doing what you'redoing I appreciate that
wholeheartedly, yeah yeah, nowwe know that you are a licensed
professional counselor.
You have experience.
You have some wisdom.
Not only that, you have somelife lessons that you have
experienced that you can alsoincorporate into your teachings.
Tell us where we can find you.

(01:10:53):
If somebody's like you knowwhat, I want Bridget to be my
therapist.

Speaker 2 (01:10:57):
Tell us how we can go about that Right now.
I'm currently still acceptingclients through Headway.
I'm all school y'all.

Speaker 1 (01:11:08):
So get them on it.
If you listen, you get up on itlike I hope you don't call me I
saw the show and I'm like I'mnot accepting clients anymore,
but I'm almost full.

Speaker 2 (01:11:14):
you can find me on headway's platform, um, I
believe the link is going to beposted.
And, in terms of social media,on tikt, on Instagram, I'm
thecozy underscore place.
So at thecozy underscore place,on both.

Speaker 1 (01:11:36):
Awesome, awesome.

Speaker 2 (01:11:38):
Any last words.
Thank you for having me, guys.
I hope that this conversationhelped in any way.
If you have questions, I'malways available.
Feel free to dm me.
Awesome people ask me questionsall the time, so, no, I'm not
gonna charge you for it.
Right, right, 25 is thequestion right?

(01:11:58):
No, I'm not doing that.
So, yeah, feel free to reachout if you have concerns or even
need help finding a therapist.
I hope so.
Do that too, because I thinkit's so important.
Um, I even tell clients whocome to me I'm like, if I'm not
your fit, that's okay, I'll helpyou find your fit, like that's
how important you don't have tocome to me, but I need you to go
somewhere.
Right, right what you need,right see, and yeah, those are.

Speaker 1 (01:12:22):
Those are the type of committed therapists that we
need, who's not just who'scommitted to your overall
well-being, not just likewhether or not you're going to
be my client, but, like you said, yeah people just getting help.

Speaker 2 (01:12:32):
As a therapist, this is our deposit into the world.
If people come out healthierand they're better people, we
have a better society exactly,and that is the goal.