S3 E19 - Shanna Christmas - Highly Intelligent

S3 E19 - Shanna Christmas - Highly Intelligent is the name of her comedy special and you can find it on youtube. This episode and Shanna's special tackle tough subjects like a parent's dementia, her surprise brain tumor and sexual assault by a colleague and what happens when to you in your community when you press charges. Shanna is very vulnerable and very funny.

Reach out: https://www.nancynorton.tv/

Watch the comedy special - Shanna Christmas, Highly Intelligent:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oKCrvb7b4yE

Episode Transcript

(00:04):
You're listening to Trauma D, the podcast that helps you take
your pain and play with it. I'm Nancy Norton, I'm a
comedian. I'm a registered nurse.
Don't work as a nurse anymore. You know why?
To save lives, yes. And I am a keynote speaker about
the power of humor, why we need humor to help us through the

(00:26):
darkest of times, and why traumedy is here.
Traumedy is here to help you remember you 2 can get through
stuff. You're not alone.
Listen to this guest. You're going to be amazed by
this guest. This guest.
This week has been through so many different challenging
times. Our guest this week is the
epitome of traumedy. She's dealing with things like

(00:50):
finding a brain tumor and dementia in a family member.
Also, this episode discusses sexual assault and calling out
that person in your community and then being ostracized for
it. So, you know, serious content
but also very funny content. Wow.

(01:10):
Yeah, we did a lot of work on itbecause I had written about it.
And so when he saw the piece I wrote, he was like, oh, we can
take elements from here. And then I was like, I can't
just tell the story like it's written.
I have to add jokes for me to get through it and.
I was like, hey.com, appreciate you telling me what's going on.
It's benign, but can I get a picture of it?
Do you mind giving me my scans so I can like see what's going

(01:32):
on? And he's like, sure, we'll give
you a picture of it. This man gave me ACD.
Y'all know what CDs are? You know how old y'all are?
You guys, you grew up with them.I'm like, God, I don't know how

(01:56):
to see this. They don't even make things to
play these. What do I do?
Hold it up to the lights. Finding people that have also
experienced stuff that I've experienced has been like the
most rewarding part about being so vulnerable.
Wow, this episode really resonated with me and I found it
to be extremely empowering and validating and I hope you do

(02:18):
too. You know you can find my
information at my website, nancynorton.tv.
That's nancynorton.tv. Like television.
Go to the upcoming shows and you'll see some links to some
events. I'm trying to remember where
where going. Dang it, Nancy, where are you
going? It's June 2025 as I record this

(02:41):
and I will be in Waterloo, WI and Madison, WI with Moms
Unhinged June 18th and 19th. Oh, I'm back in Branson.
I'm going back to the Ozarks. I'll be performing in Branson
June 26th through the 28th at the Comedy Factory.

(03:01):
And I'm going to go down to the lake cabin, hang out, do a
little Ozark time with the family.
Enjoy this episode. I'll see you on the other side.
Welcome to Traumedy. My guest this week is a writer,
a comedian who has a brand new special out.

(03:23):
Please welcome Shawna Christmas.Yeah.
Joining us from Las Vegas. What you doing out in Vegas?
Well, I'm I'm from here, but I'mnever here.
But I've just sent some strange man I met off Hinge back to the
airport today. So doing a doing a little

(03:43):
laundry and pondering about my life choices.
I didn't know. OK.
I thought you were based here inDenver.
So you're. Nope.
How did I ever get that impression?
I'm a bag of bond. I've been to Denver a lot, so I
just people think I live everywhere.
It's really funny. Oh, that's pretty cool.
I really thought you were Denverbased.

(04:06):
I got a a text the other day from somebody in San Francisco
and I was like, Nope, don't livethere anymore.
And he's like, oh, OK. Like it's just I, I don't live
anywhere. It's bad.
I have to stop doing that. But I, born and raised in Vegas,
started coming here and I'm hereright now for at least another
month. And then if I get bored, I'll
probably leave again, who knows?Wow.
Well, thanks for joining me. It's I you just been blowing up

(04:28):
on my reels lately. I've been seeing all your
hilarious new comedy, like that new special that just came out.
What it's called highly intelligent.
And it is where? Where do we find it first of
all? It's on YouTube trying to we're
getting close to 10,000 views guys.
I really think that I'm surprised that even that
happened. I had no expectations and now

(04:50):
I'm like, oh, are people watching this?
Oh whoa, okay, nobody I'm not onanybody label.
I'm not know that I just put it out by myself.
So yeah, it's on YouTube. Go watch it.
I am so impressed. It looks beautiful.
You are hilarious. They're just the greatest clips.
I and also when I saw this one clip, I was like, Oh my gosh, I
got to have her on for traumedy because it's like I can feel the

(05:13):
traumedy behind it, you know, and it's one of the sometimes
comics come on here and they'll there's a bit like, you know,
Zach Moss from here by any chance?
But anyway, he has a bit that you would never guess has trauma
behind it. It's like never, like sometimes
you can't tell, but sometimes you can tell.
Like I could tell you obviously had something serious that you

(05:35):
had to deal with. And then anyway, I, I was
thinking what we could do is play the clip and give people a
little taste right up front of your comedy.
I have to listen to it. Awkward.
Is it the word? I know I hate listening to
myself too. Do you want to just take a
break? Do you need to go get a drink,
go get a beverage, Go make some popcorn?

(05:58):
I'm going to play. OK?
And anyway, is that OK or no? Would you rather I not do that?
No play it absolutely play it. I just I can't.
I don't oh God, I when I uploaded the clip I was like,
I'm just going to put the volumedown as it as it loads.
I don't need. To hear it isn't that.
You know what? Before we play it, Before we
play it, Let's talk about this. Isn't it wild?
Like we're on stage all the timeand we love our material?

(06:21):
Like we love it because we, we have, I mean, man, we have
finessed it. We have gotten this, you know,
extra syllables out of sentencesand, you know, it's a labor of
love. But then when I hear myself, Oh
my gosh, it is like hard. I don't know what what is that
about? For me, it's also too like, oh,
I I should have said something like this instead of that.

(06:44):
Like it's, it's always like a critique, even when it's.
Fine, that inner critic is. Thinking everyone thinks it's
way worse than what I think it is.
So I'm like I once I was done, like going through the editing
process, I'm like, I don't know why I said special ever again,
actually. That inner critic is the worst,
isn't it? Yeah.
And then I'll have or I'll have a set that I think was the most

(07:07):
magical of all time. I'm like, I was in the zone.
I was feeling the flow. And then I go and watch it and
I'm like, man, and it looks sloppy.
It looks sloppy. And I'm just like, oh, what are
you doing anyway? We're.
Not good enough. We're never good.
Enough. Never good enough.
That's the the blessing and the curse of of whatever that was
from. The trauma.

(07:27):
The trauma from our childhoods. Do you want to?
Hey, you want to? OK, we can.
Do you want to talk about that first?
I don't. Cover all the things I want.
To take my headphones. Off for a minute and 23 seconds
and then I'll come back. Is that what this OK, I'm going
to play this one. I'm going to play this one clip
and I don't I don't think I can.I could turn it around and show
it. I might try that.

(07:47):
I might try and show it at the same time, see if Idlib sync.
I'm never I don't usually do zoom, so this is fun for me.
All right, let's give it a whirl.
See if it's playing through the machine.
Oh God, and I was. Like, hey guys, appreciate you
telling me what's going on. It's benign.
I'm feeling great about that. But can I?
Get a picture of it. Then mine gives me my scans so I
can like see what's going on. And he was like, sure, we'll

(08:10):
give you a picture of it. This man gave me ACD.
Y'all know what CDs are right? I know how old y'all are.
You grew up with them. I'm like God, I don't know how

(08:32):
to see this. They don't even make claims to
play these. And what do I do?
Hold it up to the lights? Do I take it to Best Buy and
keep Squad? Check it out maybe for a
nightclub, you know, have a DJ put my stand.

(08:52):
It's but nine. It's but 9 so dumb.
I mean it's so dumb. Like the technology, why are we
doing this? It's pushing horror.
Like why are we still doing CDs in general?
That's so stupid. You can air drop it to my phone.
They're air dropping big pics onthe subway in New York and you

(09:16):
can't see my stands, doctor. I got to tell you, I love this,
and I love that I got to watch your face while you're watching
your face. That's hilarious.
I could not that was so it's I can only hear myself too, so I
can't hear anybody laughing. Oh, you couldn't hear the

(09:37):
laughter. I can hear the laughter.
I couldn't hear any of that so it sounded way worse.
Or it's just me? And laughing, oh, no, it's
crushing on there. You can hit, oh, you're like,
there's no sound. And I'm like, yeah, there's
sound. I no, I didn't hear any of that.
You're like panicking. You're panicking.
I, I didn't remember that I bombed on this album.
Oh my God, it's way worse. Nah, it's killer.

(10:01):
It's killer watching you cover your face.
I mean, that's almost more interesting than what we're want
to talk about with the clip. But what is it we just have, I
don't know, so many of us have like toxic shame or something.
It was. It's a fantastic bit.
And the way you go off in these hilarious like way, like hold it
up to the light, have the DJ revolve it so.

(10:28):
That was a lot. Wow.
I was not expecting, take a deepbreath that way.
I was not expecting to react that way at all.
That's that's actually really funny.
That's interesting. But I you're not alone.
You're not alone. So many comedians.
I know one of my friends, Stephanie McHugh, who was on
here a while back, she has to listen to the stuff in one 1.5

(10:49):
time or something has to go almost like a chipmunk, speed it
up. Yes.
So she she just can't listen to it in real time.
And I just, I often just avoid, I hire somebody to do my reels
because I get frozen. I get frozen and so I pay
somebody to do it for me and they have to listen to my old
bits over and over. Oh my gosh, I can't wait to get

(11:11):
money to pay somebody. To do it because, oh, I don't
have the money to do it. I'm, I'm in debt.
I know I've gone into debt. I really have, I have, I've took
out a HELOC, a home equity loan of credit, line of credit.
I that's how, that's how much shame I have that I'm going into
debt so that I don't have to look.
But I don't know man, social media is such a blessing and a
curse. Yeah.

(11:32):
But you're up to 10,000 views. Let's celebrate.
Get in there. Yeah, get in.
There. Let's get.
So let's. Talk like 8.6 or something right
now. All right, let's get, let's get
Shawna up to 10,000 views 'causeI have, yes, almost 100
listeners. Hey.
Each person take your phone. Now watch at least the 1st 1st 5

(11:54):
minutes. It counts as a view.
I don't care if. You watch it 5 minutes.
OK, that's OK. I'm gonna do it.
That's the first 5 minutes. It's fine.
You don't have to watch the entire thing, which is also
really good. That's okay.
I want to watch the whole thing then.
And then I have to tell you and I, you know, I've been doing
comedy. Well, you know, I'm old, you
know I'm old. My name is Nancy.

(12:15):
I have, that's the dead giveaway.
And, and well, you know, this thing covers my creepy neck and
my jowl, so that's kind of nice.But I will say I I hear a lot of
comedy, but I just, I really liked it.
I really got excited. I thought, oh, because very
seldom do I get like perky around comedy these days because
it's yeah, no. So I really think it's great.

(12:37):
And I want to listen to the whole thing and I want to know,
I want to know what was going onwhen you had that MRI that you
that it says you said, I know itwas benign or do you want to
even share that? Is that something you would be?
Yeah, no, it's. Fine, it's fine.
That story is, it's crazy because like, I went into the
hospital with just like, neck pain and like, shoulder pain.

(12:59):
I thought I slept wrong. And then the pain didn't go
away. And then one night I was taking
a shower and my arms went numb. And I was like, that's weird.
So I drove myself to the ER because I'm a strong,
independent black woman and wentto the ER and they did a scan.
The doctor comes in, he's like, you have a brain tumor.
And I was like, huh, He's like, it's benign.

(13:20):
Don't worry about. I'm like, OK, but is that why
I'm in pain? He goes, no, I don't know why
you're in pain. I'm like, So what?
Like he's like, I think it's maybe some viral infections and
take some antibiotics and musclerelaxers and have a good time.
I'm like, but rewind back to thebrain tumor.
That's I can't just tell my mom I got a brain tumor.
Like that's you can't just say it all nonchalant.

(13:41):
Like it's no big deal that I like, let's explain this.
Give me the picture. Yeah, yeah.
So that's when, what is it like?Is it something you had to have
taken out or did it just? Is it just there?
He said it's a mengianoma, and some of those are, I guess,
pretty common. I went to see AI, had to get a

(14:02):
neurologist. They did a bunch of nerve tests,
and then I had to go see a neurosurgeon who was the Doogie
Howser of Russia. He was like doing surgeries on
people when he was 14 years old.He's like on like Savant, like I
went to his office and he had like all these articles on the
wall about him, like growing up and being really good at surgery
and stuff. He had really cool socks on and

(14:24):
which I. Love and did he have a big.
He works in healthcare. You're like, oh, the socks is
how you show your personality because you're always wearing
scrubs. Well, that's so smart.
People are like, oh, this person's fun, look at those
socks. That's so smart.
Sometimes they decorate their stethoscope with little, you
know, accessorize, accessorize their stethoscope or something.

(14:46):
But the socks is where you show it and maybe the shoes like cool
shoes maybe or do they have theyhave those little he?
Might have Simpsons on his socksor something.
I was like, oh, peeping the fun times over here, doc.
And so I felt very comfortable. And he essentially was like, I
looked at it, it looks like it'sbeen there the whole time, your
whole life, and it's not bothering you at all.

(15:06):
It's not impacting your functions or anything.
So I wouldn't operate on it. And I was like, can I still use
him as an excuse for my bad behavior?
And he was like, no, but something tells me that you
will, you know, like you are correct.
He he knew me so quickly. Did he laugh with you?
Did he he have a he had the Simpson socks?

(15:27):
Did he have a sense of humor? I mean, he knew that I was being
funny, so he kind of played withme.
So he's Russian, so I don't knowif they laugh very much.
That's the thing. Did he ever say?
Russians laugh. But very dry they never but.
There was funny in there. You're right.
They never show that in the in the movies.
Anytime you see a Russian, it's it's extremely serious.

(15:47):
I can't do. I can't do they're.
Beating up Rocky, They're committing atrocities.
So what's going on, Natasha? Wow.
You know, I'm getting ready to do, I do these keynote
presentations called the power of humor.
I studied therapeutic humor. And as a healthcare
professional, we're going to go talk to all these doctors and

(16:07):
help them use more humor as they're working with people.
So I'm going to use your story about the socks setting people
at ease, just even like even implied humor, just showing
like, hey, this, you know, we know this is a serious
situation. Clearly you've got a brain tumor
that's serious. I mean, your yours turned out
not to be too, too serious, luckily, but that's scary stuff

(16:29):
anyway. So I love that you shared that.
That set you at ease. I'm going to share that at the
meeting. I'm going to bring it up at the
meeting. Let me come do your keynotes.
I work in healthcare too so and I need some other ones to do
outside of 'cause you're a nurse.
I'm an OT, we work in healthcareand I'm trying to figure out how
to do some keynotes too by the way 'cause they can give you a
lot of money. That's what I'm saying, yeah.
I'm so grateful for them. I, you know, in fact, this is, I

(16:51):
mean, how I got into doing keynotes.
I was working 12 hour shifts as a nurse with my three-year old
son and just fried, you know what I mean?
And, and I had to back off comedy so much.
I was doing very few sets because I have a single mom and
my friend, she gave me this numerology life coach reading

(17:13):
for my birthday and for real, this woman.
I don't know. It was I was trying to figure
out and get creative and how canI, you know, have more time at
home with my son and all this. And.
And yeah, she just got to the place where she said, well, what
do you need to make a month? And I said, well, right now I'm
making 5000 a month as a nurse. And she said, well, you know,

(17:35):
you can make that in one hour asa speaker.
And I was like in disbelief, like, that's not possible.
And she said, yeah, and I know you can do it because I do it.
And you have more of this, you know, she said charisma.
And I feel embarrassed to say what she said, but that's what
she said. She said you have more charisma
than I do. And so anyway, it still took me

(17:56):
another honestly ten years to tobring that to fruition because
I'm a slow like my learning curve and also just my self
esteem is super low. So I got it took me a long time
to finally get that speaker fee and now, you know, I'm just so
grateful. And and she goes and you'll have
more time with your son or for whatever you want to do.

(18:18):
I totally support you in doing this.
And yes, you can do it. And using humor, I mean, because
they need funny keynotes. I just did a presentation for
these pelvic floor physical therapists and OTS, and it's so
heavy. There's so much trauma in the
pelvic floor. So much trauma and that it was a
heavy conference and they were so ready.

(18:39):
They want a light, funny keynote.
All right, we're going to make it happen.
So we've just got a IT. Won't take me 10 years.
I've been researching, but I'm like, I don't know how to start.
That's my whole problem. It's like I want to do that, but
how do I get over there? Yes, and it is, yeah.
And you know where I started, and I'll tell you how I started
was I got a mentor and it was just a I do believe in a higher

(19:00):
power. I know your name is Christmas.
Do you? I don't know.
What if you believe it? I'm very spiritual.
I live here in Boulder and I'm spiritual, but also, I mean,
higher power put the president of the local speaker association
next to me at a comedy show. Swear to God, I sat down.
Tracy Brown I was at a comedy show and I was doing the feature

(19:22):
spot. And it was one of those Saturday
night packed houses. That feature spot, such a sweet
spot on the show crushed the, you know, it's just one of
those, you know, fun, fun nights.
And there was one chair left in the whole room.
And I thought, well, I'm just going to sit and watch the
headliner. So I sat down and this woman
leaned over and said, hey, right, do you really live in
Boulder? And I said, yeah.
And she goes, so do I I'm a speaker.

(19:44):
And I said, oh, that's what I'm supposed to be doing.
And she said, oh, yeah. And then she goes, oh, yeah,
you're a $10,000 speaker. But anyway, yes.
So there's local chapters of theSpeaker Association.
I don't know if that's helpful to you, but there's a national
and you're in Vegas because I think there's a lot of national
conventions out there. The National Speaker Association
has local chapters in every state.

(20:05):
So you could look that up and then start going and then.
This is my sign see. This is it.
This is your sign. This and I've got the I got the
truth chills. Do you ever get the truth
chills? I don't know if I've ever called
them that. Before, is that like, like
goosebumps, like when something kind of like woo, woo happens
where you're like, woo, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, the truth chills. I like.

(20:27):
That one of my guests taught me that term a couple years ago and
I've been using it. Hell yeah it works.
All right, we're going to manifest some speaking gigs.
You're going to you're going to start speaking and also continue
to comedy and this special is going to take off.
And you know, man, if you start putting it out on reels too,
that's how a lot of my clients have found me is through TikTok.

(20:48):
I wasn't going to do just nursing stuff, but then those
are the reels that took off. So I was like, oh, I guess I'm
getting guided by the algorithm.Anyway, That's what.
I'm struggling with too. It's like I don't want to just
do stuff about OT. Yeah, because. 1st, people don't
even know what OT is. And so if I'm doing jokes about
OT, so like an audience of people are like, what's that?
Anyway, first I gotta explain what it is.

(21:09):
Yeah. And then people are like, I
still don't know what that means.
You're like, all right, I'm justgonna talk about Dicks.
Which, by the way, you can do OTon a Dick, you know what I mean?
Yes. I see them every day and they're
usually on old people, so. I see them every day, yes,
because they need a little. They need a little occupational

(21:31):
therapy down there. They need to learn how to get
dressed after they break the hip.
Yes. We got to put those pants on.
Well, and I'm telling you, thesepelvic floor physical therapists
and occupational therapists, they also, they're like, well,
when we went into this, we were thinking it was going to be
more, you know, in the vagina area.

(21:51):
But it's like men also have pelvic floor issues.
Yeah, that's right. A little dribble comes out when
we're done peeing. Not even when we've started just
walking along male. Kegels.
Just do some male kegels guys. Hey I got this is how it goes.
I get off on these tangents and here we go.

(22:13):
I had an MRI once too, and they sent me home.
But luckily I'm a boomer, so I had, of course, the CD equipment
on my old computer. But who has old computer?
Who in the world has that? They.
I mean, So what it Yeah, you never were able to see it.
Computers with the CD drive in it.
Yeah, you have to buy an external one for it.
And so it took me 6 months to see the scans because I

(22:35):
couldn't, I didn't have the equipment.
I had to go to the neurosurgeon to see it.
I saw it on his computer. I was like, is that it?
Yeah, it's like, yeah, I'm like,I haven't seen this thing yet.
So I took a picture of his. Computer you had to take?
Yeah, photos on your phone? That's hilarious.
Yes, that I did not see it for six months.
It's like a 10mm. It's like a little teeny tiny
thing in the back of my head. Yeah.
Just hanging out. That's crazy.

(22:56):
That's crazy. Well, I'm glad it's good.
I'm glad you're good. And I'm assuming you got your
shoulders. You got your shoulders or your
back and neck and numbness figured out.
The, the, the muscle relaxers helped in the, whatever the
antibiotics was, whatever it was, it went away in a few days.
But it's all, I don't know. It's just finding it on
accident. It's really terrifying.
It's like I've been walking around with this thing the whole

(23:18):
time because I went to a what was he?
He was a vascular specialist because he looked at it and said
he thinks it's like a calcified blood vessel.
Like something had happened and got like tied up and now it's
like encapsulized calcium. Oh.
I got you he. Was just sitting back there and
he goes it looks like you were born with it then and I tell my

(23:38):
mom I've had it since birth and she goes I'm so sorry.
Yeah, that's her fault. Somehow she gave it to me like
my. What were you smoking?
Yeah, What did you do, Mom? My.
My mother. My mother smoked, but only when
she was pregnant. So yeah, that's true.
I want to hear more about your special too.
I want to hear like where did you record it and when and?

(24:01):
I actually this is my second go at my special.
I recorded one in 2023 but that was a very bad year to do
anything and I was like I got toget a win and it was not a win
that was stupid. That year my dad passed away, I
hadn't worked for like 6 months.I was held depressed and I was
like, I'm going to do this special and it was bad and I
hated it and so I scrapped it. And so this one I did last year

(24:23):
in October back in Vegas at thisjazz bar.
So it's like jazz. It's like, you know how it's
like sad and kind of dark and whatever.
Like my life is kind of like that.
So it. Was cool to do it.
Yeah, the lighting. The lighting looks really cool.
Yeah, I gave my director a headache.

(24:44):
He's like, there's a pillar in the middle of the room, and
there is a bar over here where they're just going to be making
drinks. And also it's dark in here.
Like, we have to buy, like, a big floodlight and put it in the
middle of the room so you can actually see me.
It was crazy, but I was like, isn't that cool in here?
He's like, yeah, but I can't seeyou.
I'm like, Oh well, that's jazz maybe like.

(25:05):
Just roll with it. Yeah, it's dark.
I'm dark. Figure it out, you know?
So yeah, I recorded in Vegas downtown, and we did two shows
and I cover a lot of stuff. Like when you watch it, I talked
about my dad who died from dementia.
Oh wow, sexually assaulted I talk about.
Wow, brave, vulnerable stuff. Yeah, in there for sure.

(25:27):
Yeah. And it's how did that, does that
help you process those those wounds?
Does that help release some of that trauma for you?
Do you feel any energetic shift when you do that?
Yeah, I think for me it's more like when when my dad died, I
got really horny and I thought that was the craziest response

(25:48):
to have to death. And so I kept talking about it.
And sometimes people would be like, yeah, that happened to me
too. But they would never have said
that if I didn't say on stage first.
That's your reward for being vulnerable and honest.
So you helped them to know, like, I'm not alone with that.
So you talked about that on stage?
Oh yeah, it's in there. I wrote about it.
It got published in Business Inside.

(26:08):
It was crazy. I was like, I can't be the only
bitches. Like I need to have sex right
now. My daddy did what?
What does this mean? That is wild.
I had a similar thing that happened.
And of course, 30 years ago in my 30s or late 20s actually, I
had a miscarriage and man, I went off the rails.
Like, I mean, I negotiated an affair with my husband.

(26:30):
I'm like, I have, I don't know why, but I just need to have sex
with Gary. And he's like, wow.
And I mean, he, my, my ex was solike to him, sex was just sex.
So I was like, and he goes, sex is just like playing tennis,
Nancy. It's not he wasn't a romantic.
Let me just say that. And I'm like, well, can I play
tennis with Gary anyway, I got an apartment.

(26:52):
I mean, and I was, I mean, anyway, but I do understand
that. I think also maybe with the loss
of a pregnancy, I think there was a part of my female, like, I
don't know, what do I have to prove here?
Like I'm an old tomboy. I mean, at that time it wasn't
old, but I, I think I was tryingto prove my femininity in some
weird way. I don't know.

(27:12):
But it's also a nice distraction, right?
What What did you hear any theories about it or did you do
any Googling? Well, once I start talking about
it, people will be like, no, I heard there's this thing called
bereavement mania and there was some like studies about people
that were experiencing that kindof stuff after loss and where,
you know, you feel empty and youtry to find things to kind of
fill you. And for me, it was trying to get

(27:34):
penis, obviously, but it was just like tying it to like my
dad dying and being like, I wantto have sex.
It's like that. That was the weird connection
for me because it's like, why isthat happening?
But somebody said her her grandma died, she the same
response. And you know, so I think it's
just that loss that you have to you want to feel something.
You feel like something's missing and closeness and stuff

(27:55):
is probably like the one thing that you could be able to have
control over in some kind of way.
I think is kind of how it makes sense in my brain.
You know that was. Be held by a person like I want
somebody to hold me. I feel like I need to be small
and compact and feel like I'm OKand so and and I didn't get to
have sex with anybody during that time, but I really wanted.

(28:18):
To oh man, and you know, nowadays I'm reading and, and
hearing from people in different, I don't know, even
apps where there are people thatare demisexual or asexual and
you can say I just want to be held and I don't know, in, in,
in my day, you know, there was no way to ask, like, can we just
snuggle? You really had you.

(28:39):
I don't know, I just felt like you kind of had to keep going
forward with the encounter, eventhough I'm not saying I didn't
want to have sex, but sometimes I think I don't even think I
knew how to ask for just closeness.
I love that you shared that likethat's really what you wanted
was just to be held and and to feel something because when
you're so sad, you that depression is like a vacuum of

(29:03):
you can't feel anything. So you're looking for
excitement, something that'll just get you like, I'm still in
here somewhere. Yeah, Yep, that's exactly what
it was. And I when I talked about it, it
was like, obviously some people are like, hell, Nah.
But then some people like you'll, you'll see like a couple
and the girlfriends like that happened to you to her, like her
boyfriend. He's like, yeah, why shut up?

(29:24):
Like don't say that. But like finding people that
have also experienced stuff thatI've experienced has been like
the most rewarding part about being so vulnerable.
But even with my dad having dementia in general, like
there's a whole, you know, people are offended by that all
the time. And there's different ways that
it shows up in people and it's, it's unpredictable.
Sometimes the lifespan is like 10 years from diagnosis to

(29:47):
death. And that's a really hard yeah.
Why did they? Die within six months.
So I was like. Yeah, that is such.
And did you say people are orphaned by dementia?
Is that the term you used or wasthere some other thing you said
that I made-up orphaned? I don't know what I said, but
orphaned sounds good. But that you know it, it really
does. Because you lose.

(30:08):
You lose your dad, you lose him to dementia.
Like the dad that like was therefor advice.
Still alive too. They're, yeah, dead yet.
Right, that's what. Yeah, but they're not in there
the way they were where you could go.
Dad, I need advice on something.Or did your dad ever come and
go? Like some days he would be lucid
and or was he just progressivelygone?

(30:28):
When when he was diagnosed, it was really fast because my dad,
he lives with his other family, so and we don't talk very often.
We didn't. So like we would go months
without talking to each other and that was normal.
And in September I remember he was diagnosed and I was living
in Seattle at the time. So I flew down for a Comedy
Festival. I was there here for the
weekend, and I went to see him in the hospital, and he was

(30:51):
looking at me like he's trying to put together who I was
because earlier that day they said that he told them that it
was 1989, which would have put me at 8 years old.
And he kept looking at me and being like, you're not Shawna.
Yeah. And I was like, I am.
But he was trying to say I you look like my daughter, but she's
not a grown up. Yeah.
So he was still trying to, it was almost like he was trying to

(31:12):
figure out what's going on, but like he couldn't.
And then, you know, I saw him maybe like in October.
It was the most rapid I've neverseen before in my life.
I can look it up. It was like the way he was
diagnosed by the time December came from September to December,
he was bedridden. He didn't even, he stopped
eating, he wasn't walking. It was the most progressive,

(31:34):
aggressive dementia I've ever seen in my life.
And so it was hard to be like, well, when you talked to him
last, did he seen off? It's like, I don't talk to him
that much. So it's hard to tell.
And sometimes people are good atmasking it too.
My dad was a very funny person, yes.
And so if you are funny, sometimes you can distract
somebody with humor if you forget something or you know

(31:57):
what, I. Mean dude, I'm doing that now.
I am. I'm not even kidding you.
I see people and like, hey, goodto see you and I'm I'm hoping
their name comes to me and it isembarrassing, but it I'm already
doing that. I'm asking, I don't.
Remember what your name is. I don't just tell me.
Tell the truth to say I don't remember your name.
I'm sorry. I meet a lot of people.
I know, but it's usually it's somebody that I maybe just

(32:19):
talked to last week. I'm not kidding.
So, well, you know, that's good.I got to get this.
I got to get my work done before, you know, my son
hopefully doesn't have to deal with that.
But it was. So that sounds like a weird kind
of blessing and a curse like theI was.
Honestly glad when he wasn't here because I was like thinking

(32:40):
if he was like that for the next9 years.
Just wanted he's 64, he's a big man.
And what happened was when he got diagnosis that he had gone
to get something to eat and thenhe woke up in the middle of the
night and he was walking around the house naked and trying to
walk into different rooms of thehouse.
And everybody was like, what is wrong with him?
And when they took him to the hospital, they were like, this
is probably an undiagnosed dementia.
What are you talking about? So it was like even the

(33:03):
diagnosis was like, he was just fine three hours ago and now
you're telling us he's got dementia.
What do you mean? So yeah, he may have masked it
for quite a little bit there. Yeah.
And so once he got to the hospital and the hospitals, you
know, sometimes they put people on restraints when they can't
control them because my dad was a night person.
So he's walking around the hospital and he's bigger than

(33:24):
all the nurses who are Filipino.They can't control him.
And they're like, doctor, we need to do something about this
giant man. He's giving us the Blues.
Can we strap him to a bed for a few hours?
And so I went to see him again and like Thanksgiving, when I
was back in town and he had him strapped to the bed, I would
untie him and sit him up and tryto move him around and he back.

(33:46):
At that point, he didn't even know who any of us were.
Trying. To remember either me or my
brother, but he would never remember all of us at once.
It was very weird. Kind of spotty And then do you
get as a healthcare professionalyou get called on to, you know,
like you said, you got there, you probably were doing range of
motion and all this kind of stuff.
I think it was weird too, because I am in the healthcare

(34:07):
profession because the way I wastreating my dad was more like a
patient and not like my dad. So my approach to him wasn't
like, oh, Remember Me dad, it's Shawna, I'm your daughter.
I was like Charles, I was calling you by his name because
he didn't know who I was. So part of my grief too was
like, did I actually grieve losing my dad?
Or was it just like some guy whodied at my job?

(34:29):
You know what I mean? Like it was.
It's also a weird thing in my brain about it as well, so.
You just gave me an insight. Thank you for sharing that.
I just, it, I mean, you know, sometimes things just click like
I, you know, my mom was with my sister the last four months of
her life and she had Parkinson's.
She was 94. But then the last three or four
days I came to help her transition when she was ready.

(34:51):
And I think being doing that role of like documenting the
Dilaudid and Ativan and the Atropine and turning her and I
mean, getting into that probablywas a my way of dissociating a
little bit into my healthcare role and not being like her
daughter. That's, I mean, when she did

(35:11):
die, all of a sudden I felt likeI, you know, it, everything hit
me really fast that I lost my mom.
Even though there's mixed feelings, I got to be honest, I
have mixed feelings about my mom.
I, I have some stuff, man. And it's like I'm glad to be out
from under her thumb. I got to be honest and she was
very controlling and I, she gaveme that gift.

(35:34):
I have to make amends to my son all the time for my controlling
behavior because it's like I learned it.
But anyway, yeah. So did you have some mixed
feelings, I guess with you said your dad had a second family or
something like that and you? Didn't Yeah, because like, even
when I was even when he died, people were like, well, were you
guys close? And I was like, oh, we weren't.
So does that mean I can't be sadabout it?

(35:55):
Like even that response to it was like, not really, but he was
still my dad. But does that mean you guys
aren't going to care anymore because he wasn't in every at
everything I did as a child? Like how do I agree that if if?
There's a level of. Closeness that's required for me
to be sad about this person. Like we weren't close.

(36:16):
He left when I was 8. There was a long period of time
when we didn't talk to each other at all because he was
annoying. And I was like I get that shit
from you and let me get away from you so I can fix myself
because you are annoying and so am I and I don't like it.
Yeah, well, also don't you thinkwhen when a when a parent dies
that like absolute fact that youare never going to?
There's some part of our brain that thinks maybe I could get

(36:37):
these needs met with this personat some point.
I don't know. That was my, I had a lot of
fantasy that even though intellectually I knew, but my
inner child still longed for those to heal some of that from
my childhood. And then when they're dead, it's
like absolutely not, absolutely not going to happen.
And then you have to go back andgrieve some of the stuff that we
put off grieving. I don't know.

(36:58):
That's my experience. I, I'm in a recovery program for
adult children and one of the things we do is like we say is a
lot of our issues are because wedidn't grieve, you know, that
we're still, or I get attracted to similar people that I'm still
trying to heal that relationshipthrough current relationships.
Anyway, I think that matter of fact, like absolutely never
going to have that experience with your dad or whatever.

(37:20):
I don't know, I maybe I'm projecting.
No, you're not. I think that's a common thing.
I think for me, since I do tend to work around older people.
Like my job is everybody's aboutto be dead anyway.
So I I learned to accept a lot about my dad before he died.
Like once I realized my dad was just a person and he only had
the tools that he had, which weren't a lot, and he went

(37:42):
through a lot of stuff himself. He went to Vietnam 2 times and
he came back, you know, to America where they hate black
people in the 70s, sixties and 70s.
And like, you know, you come back to the States and then they
throw a baby at you. You're like, Oh no, got to get
out of here. What do you mean be a parent?
Oh no, you know what I mean? So once I realized my dad wasn't

(38:02):
going to be able to do dad stuff, I was actually bitter
with our relationship because I wasn't expecting him to have
this big grand moment of I've always loved you.
I know he wasn't going to be able to do that.
He didn't have the tools to do that.
And so I was mostly mourning ourfriendship we were starting to
have because once I realized what was up, I wasn't expecting

(38:23):
it. So I would just go and see him
and we would hang out and just kind of talk about stupid stuff.
And that was like he was becoming my friend towards the
end. And then I I didn't get to have
that part of a relationship withmy dad as I got older because
he. Was just as you were accepting
him for who he was, you lost him.
You got robbed of having that adult relationship.

(38:43):
That's the sad part for me is that it's not like my sister.
She's a middle child. She was very much like dad never
said he loved us. I'm like, I know he's not going
to. You just got to.
He's not, he's, he hasn't yet. There's not going to be a button
that turns on as he gets older. They're more stubborn.
You're not changing them, you know, unless you actively go

(39:04):
over there every Saturday and make him hug you and make him
talk to you. Because that's what I used to do
when I used to live here. It's like Dad's not a hugger,
but when I see him, want to makehim hug me.
And so now when he sees me, he hugs me because I've trained
him. But if that's what you want out
of him, you got to work it. He's not going to suddenly start
hugging because you want him to.You have to.
You have to ask for your no, askfor your needs to be met.

(39:26):
And also with my mom, it was interesting, like both my
parents, I had to say I love youfirst.
And then but then over the yearsit became a thing where every
time I talked to my mom, we would say I love you.
At the end of the phone call. I got to be honest, felt kind of
weird in my stomach. I love you.
I know it's like, but but still back to traumedy.

(39:47):
I was I when you said you talkedabout your sexual assault.
I haven't talked to any other comedians.
I have a bit about a sexual assault and it's very rare for
me to hear somebody else say something about it.
So you have a bit in there that you are.
Wow. OK, we're not going to do any
spoilers if you want to hear thecloser, but wow, I am impressed.
And this is this is the kind of stuff I want to talk about on

(40:11):
trauma because there's nothing Idon't think off limits about
myself that I can talk about like I we should be able to say
whatever we need to say. And if you can get an audience
to laugh about something so serious as a sexual assault,
that tip of the traumedy hat to you, my lady, you know?
Yeah, that was hard. And I'm actually really proud

(40:33):
that I did do it because I was actually playing around with the
bit a little bit, and I would stick it in the middle of my set
so people would forget about it.And then when I got with my
director, he was like, oh, that's got to go last.
I say, excuse me. Wow.
And he's like, no, this is what makes your special special,
right? You're just telling jokes.
You're doing something differentand you get to tell your story

(40:56):
as well. Because I, I was sexually
assaulted 2 years into my careerand people know about it, I've
written about it, but it's stillvery much like I, you know, I
get triggered often with a lot of stuff that happens even now,
people making ditty jokes and I'm like, you guys are idiots,
you know what I mean? Like it's always tied into what
I do now too, because I'm a comedian.
He was a comedian. So it's not like I can separate

(41:17):
those two things. I'm kind of just tied into it
all the time, and so being able to tell it on stage and kind of
get it out there now, I don't have to talk about it anymore.
People watch the special, they can just see it.
And I don't have to keep, you know, trying to explain myself
to people who don't care anyway,you know?
Wow. That's got to be empowering that
you that you've done it and thatyou, I mean that you took it to

(41:40):
an you had to take it to anotherlevel to use it as your closer.
Wow. Yeah, we did a lot of work on it
because I had written about it. And so when he saw the piece I
wrote, he was like, oh, we can take elements from here.
And then I was like, I can't just tell the story like it's
written. I have to add jokes for me to
get through it. So then we were trying to piece
together, OK, after this section, then you can say this,
and after this section you can say that.

(42:00):
And so then I was like, now it'seasy for me to get through the
harder parts if I throw in a little here and there, you know,
So end up being really good. Wow.
I can't I can't wait to I can't wait to listen to that.
I mean, I think it'll be healingfor me and I bet it's healing
for other people. I know yeah, mine I always put
in is almost like a little throwaway and people don't really I
don't think they really think it's true because I cartoon it

(42:22):
so much and it's so cartooned. But I will say I speaking about
speaking, I did a keynote presentation for sexual assault
nurse examiners. And so it was a very heavy, Oh
my gosh, this conference was so heavy.
And there were detectives there and just talking about how to
gather evidence. And of course, I mean, they're

(42:43):
getting, they're getting, they're doing exams on children
who've been sexual. Really, you know, it's just the
worst of the worst. And I mean, and anyone at any
age, it's terrible. And so I, I just had recently
filed a report with the police where I lived when I was 15 or

(43:04):
not where I live, but where I was when I was sexually
assaulted at 15. Anyway, it was an empowering
situation just to share that during because it, you know,
it's not something I'm going to work into most of my keynote
presentations. But this group, I thought, you
know what I need to share. And I shared the bit about it.
First, they laughed because I was worried they weren't even
going to laugh because it would be, they would know, but they

(43:25):
did. And I said, thank you for
laughing at that because it helps me.
And I was able to come tell them.
And even in the middle of it, I said, listen, I'm, I'm editing
myself. I'm not going to use this
person's name. And they're like, say it.
And I said his name and they cheered.
And it was like, woo, I cried. I end up crying during my you
know, I'm like, OK. And then I had to take, it was

(43:49):
and I had to take a drink of my.I call this my emergency.
Good for you, man. I mean, even when I came forward
about who assaulted me, like people are like name names and
why I name names, people are like, oh, and it's like, well
now what are you guys going to do?
Yeah, they didn't want to hear that name.
Yeah. Yeah, they abandoned me.

(44:09):
Most of them were just like, well, I don't know.
It's like, well, now he's in jail.
Do you do you have any thoughts about that?
No. Cool.
So like, even when you do the right thing as what they want
victims to do, they still don't care.
And I think that was the hardestlesson that I learned.
It was like, that is tough. You do everything you're
supposed to do. The people in your corner will
still abandoned you and act likeyou're you're the wrong.
You're wrong for making them have to face what they did or

(44:32):
didn't do at the time. A reminder of that for those
people. I know I have.
I have a sister who's not talking to me right now.
I mean, we text and I mean, she will talk to me when I've gone
to visit her, but she's not going to pick up a phone because
a couple years ago I had to relay to her what happened when
I went to visit her at college. And she takes, she takes too

(44:52):
much responsibility for it. And like it's you weren't
responsible. I mean, she's five years older,
but she was only 20. I'm like my son's 20 right now.
I know what 20 is. You're not, you know, but
anyway, it's just makes her uncomfortable.
I think she just doesn't. And I, I don't know, it's
unfortunate, like my first, very, very, very first guest was

(45:12):
attacked by a serial killer and lost a lot of her friends, lost
a lot of her friends because I think they can't deal with the
fact that this random act of violence could happen.
They, they tried to like, what did you do, you know, the whole
victim blaming thing and man, and you had to go through that,
I'm sure, gosh. And but did that guy go to jail

(45:33):
because of your case that you were able to prosecute or was it
another case? No, it was me when after it
happened, I actually got him to confess everything he did in
text messages because I didn't go straight to the police.
I went to work and just pretend it didn't happen.
But I did screenshots of and I kept it for two years.
And then when I went to the police, I was like, here are

(45:53):
screenshots of him admitting everything and apologizing.
The detective tracked him down and found out he was using a
stage name and he already had a history of like violence against
women. He had been arrested before for
domestic violence and stuff likethat.
And when they contacted him, thedetective says, is this you when
these text messages? And he goes, yes, like an idiot
because I wasn't like that's autoshop.

(46:14):
But you know, he couldn't deniedit, but he didn't.
So when they were like, well, this is you're admitting to what
she's saying in the text messages and you're not saying
it's not you. So yeah, you got to go to jail.
Good. The only reason why he stayed in
jail for the three months is because he didn't have any money
to get out on bail. It wasn't because he went to
trial or anything like that. It was just a good old legal

(46:36):
system. Yeah, he you're poor.
You have to stay. And I was like, good, good thing
he's poor. Yeah, sometimes it works in the,
sometimes it works correctly. You know, I get that it's
unfair, but I sometimes it's theright thing and I do rust his
experience that he need. Hopefully he man, I don't know.

(46:57):
I don't know this guy. I don't know if he's, you know,
pathological that some people can't grow.
No, no. And that's the thing too, Like I
I heard stories about, you know,he was in jail and he was scared
for his life because people weretrying to beat him up.
And so he took a plea deal so hedidn't have to go to trial and
all this stuff. But now he's still running
around Las Vegas. If I'm lying, I was threatened

(47:17):
with a lawsuit for defamation many years ago, and I'm still
waiting for you to do so. So if you have a strong case, I
would love for the lawsuit to happen.
But you're broke, so that won't happen.
And you did it. And you did it.
And you confess to it. And you and it's it.
Yeah, it is well documented now,Sir.
Yeah. And so he he's still able to.

(47:38):
Manipulate people enough here towhere he gets to keep telling
people that it was like a mix upwhere I made it up.
And since I haven't been in Vegas for almost 10 years, he
gets to tell the story and I'm like some mythical person that
they can just kind of discard. But now that I'm back, people
are like, oh, I heard about you.I'm like, yeah, it's me.
I'm the person these these sociopaths.

(47:59):
Are very good at getting people in their corner.
It's just it's very it's it's very upsetting when you're the
one that it's just the perfect irony of life that you're the
one that gets vilified and Yep, I'm so sorry.
Yeah, it's it's I we got into. A screaming mess.

(48:20):
One time at an open mic, he showed up at the mic and he's
like, he come up to me and he goes, it's been a long time but
I forgive you. And I was like, you bitch, what
are you talking about? You forgive me and so like,
yeah, I got all the microphone at the open bike was like this
guy's are best. He went to jail.
Yes, it's me. You heard about it.
It was me. He's best.
And then even in the act of thathappening, like somebody that

(48:41):
had I knew before all this thesepeople had come to town because
now Vegas is a transient city. So there's a lot of new people
who don't know me or him. So it's easy for them to be
manipulated by him because they're like, I don't know who
this girl is and I don't care, like, you know, but somebody who
I was with at that mic, he knew both of us.
And while me and this man are screaming at each other, he's
just sitting there. I'm like, here's your chance to

(49:02):
be like, hey, man, leave her alone.
And he didn't do it. So even still, when you get the
opportunity to confront somebodywho's bad, you sit there quietly
and you're a man. That's the other thing.
It's like, well, you know, they expect the victims to do all the
hard work. And it's like you can't even
tell this man to leave me alone.You would think I'm telling you.

(49:23):
I, I, I mean, you would think hewould know, just like if you're
in a place and he walks into a place, I mean, you could have
gotten, I think a permanent protective order and they don't
care. They but wow.
And we got a restrained order. He was.
On probation for like 2 years and during probation I was told
that he had some girl at a comedy club or he she met her at

(49:47):
the comedy club and then put herin the Uber.
She was drunk so he took her home in the Uber and then when
she woke up, he was on top of her.
This is on probation. OK, Yeah, this is this is
someone who is not who? Who's not interested in
changing, growing, or in any way?
Wow, he's pathological. He is pathological.

(50:07):
Well, I'm glad. I'm proud of you for warning.
Other people about him, you know, I have, I'm not going to
be asked back to a couple of different venues because I call
out sociopaths. I have this gut thing and I
can't tell you why I get concerned for the women in this
bar. And I have.
And I will say I've been liberated by a bit of alcohol

(50:29):
and a Vyvanse, which is an, an ADHD medication, which I've
learned maybe I shouldn't combine.
But but for real though, there'ssomething in that medication
that I my shame, I call it a shame and doubt blocker.
I, you know what? It's maybe not good for my
career, but that that person right there is a sociopath.

(50:52):
And I have, I have called him out.
I mean, professionally it's unacceptable, but personally,
spiritually, morally, I'm I'm OKwith it.
Yeah, you become the bad guy because if, if.
If they, if you're allowed to say what you're saying and they
have to take it seriously, then everybody else has to be like,
oh, this person can't be here. We have to take steps so this

(51:15):
person can't be here. But instead they go stop saying
that. I've been wondering.
I've been wondering if they havehim.
Back this guy, it was the day that President Trump got
supposedly shot in the ear. Oh God.
And he said, and this guy goes and it was just, it's a long
story, but he goes, he goes likePresident Trump was shot.
Speaking of sociopaths, I was just like, Oh my God, yeah, I,

(51:37):
we don't want to make a martyr out of this guy.
But I, I mean, I, I'm just saying there was a sense of like
freedom for a second. And then he goes, oh, he's just,
no, he's fine. And he goes, he's fine.
I don't care. I don't care if I, you know,
only thing I care about. I'm a, I'm a, I'm a white man in
America. All I care about is that
abortions are legal, so I don't have to wear a condom anymore.

(51:57):
And I don't know. I don't know, it's a longer
story, but there was just three or four other things that
happened that just gave me this horrible like you are.
You are a nasty man and people need to know.
So yeah. It there was just.
A couple I don't mind getting banned or blocked from places

(52:17):
I've I. I I know for a fact in Vegas
there are some people when they see me coming, they're like
shit. And it's like, well, but that's
the thing too, like if if you are talented, which you are,
it's like people are taking the sides even though let's say I'm
being neutral, you are taking the side of this person.
There's no neutral. He did it and he said he did it.

(52:38):
So if you're still acting like weird around me instead of being
like, get this dude away from us, then it's not you've picked
your side. That's right.
If I show up and you're like oh Dang.
You know I have to. I was just hanging out with this
dude, but I didn't talk to him. He was just there.
It's like, but you let him. You said hi to him.
Yeah. Oh, so you why why are you
speaking to him? That's that's weird because I

(53:01):
would never speak to somebody like that.
I know it's disgusting to peoplelike.
That it's disgusting, you know what I mean?
Yep, and I did. Learn this when I went through
this breakup with a sociopath myI went to the safe house here in
Boulder for a year of meetings and their one of their phrases
was neutrality always favors theabuser.
Always Yep Anyway, I'm glad you're I'm just really proud of

(53:23):
you. That's amazing that you're that
strong that you're you're just, you know, holding your head high
and you I love that you named your your special highly
intelligent. How did you come to this?
Is there a bit about that? I suppose you ever watched like
a movie and like the. The main character says the
title of the movie in the movie,and you're like, hey, I'm not

(53:45):
sure. I'm not sure.
I've noticed. It is that a pattern I should be
watching for that? No, I just get excited when it
does happen it. Doesn't normally happen, but if
it does I'm like, oh they threw it in there like and then they
made. It the title, yeah.
So that's what happened when I I.
It ties into the sexual assault piece.
So it's at the end. And it was part of the joke that

(54:06):
I had. And so that's my director was
like, we got to change the name of your special to highly
intelligent because it was only something else.
And I was like, OK, whatever. And he's like, this is you're
tall also. So it's like a double entendre.
I love it. Yeah, I have a nice.
I have a nice big chunk of like tall.
Jokes in the beginning of the special, and then I end on this
assault joke. And it's like, well, I am highly

(54:27):
intelligent. I'm a smart, kind of clever,
interesting black lady comedian,you know?
So he was like, yeah, it ties into in the entire special.
So we're going to call it that. And it's just two words and it's
easy. And it's not like, you know, I
love it as a female in, in, in. This culture to say something
super positive about yourself isamazing.
We need more of that. We need more of that.

(54:48):
Thank you for spending this timewith me.
I'm glad to get to know you a little more.
And is there anything you wantedto?
We're both troublemakers. I realize you're out here
calling. People out like I love that
shit. We should just start a a crew of
people that show up the places and they'll Boo this man Boo Oh.
I love that. I love that.
You know what I mean? Yes, we'd love to get a little

(55:09):
gang of bad ass. Women and they're like, we're
not tolerating it and we're going to make you guys feel bad.
For letting. People like this come in here
and put your audience members atrisk.
So Boo you guys and Boo this manand yes, I don't care if you
don't book me. I'm a.
Keynote. Speaker, you're speaking it
into. Bro that's it bro, bitch, I
don't need to come to your damn bar.

(55:31):
Show and it's for fun. Who would I?
Be if I could. Really speak my truth.
And I didn't care what that clubowner thought.
Yeah, burn it all down. Like, like you, you know, like,
I love that you got it out of that couch position and put it
at the end. This this powerful statement.
But so you're already get, you're already there.
You're already speaking your truth.

(55:51):
Yeah, it was really hard, but I'm people were at the.
Show like crying like you could when you watch it, like once I
get start talking, you can tell like the whole room kind of goes
like you can almost feel the thetension on the video.
I didn't realize it would translate the way it did because
in the room, I could sense that I had people like, right here
while I was talking. And it was just, you could feel

(56:12):
how the energy was like, very much closed in.
And so then you'd feel like whenpeople would laugh, it'd be like
this. Thank God.
Huge release. Yeah.
And that's that. Traumedy thing.
That's that therapeutic. Humor that I studied that's like
we need that. We need that release.
I can't wait to see the whole thing 'cause these clips are
amazing. How do people find you on on the
Instas you're I know is it your name?

(56:33):
I should have. I googled it and found you.
But what is your Christmas Shana?
Christmas it's on everything. I'm the only Shawna Christmas
doing comedy, apparently. No one.
It's not Shawna Christmas under score 1.
It's not the real Shawna Christmas ain't none of.
That it's just. Me on, I got the name on all the
domains. It's just me and that's YouTube.
That's on YouTube everywhere we can.
Just find it, everybody, Everybody go find Shawna.

(56:57):
Shawna Christmas on YouTube. Intelligent.
Just type in those four words and it.
Will pop up so can't wait to seeit.
Thank you so much, Shawna. I'm glad to get to know you
better and let me know. Let's stay in touch.
Yes, thank you so much. This is actually really.
Of therapeutic for me. So this has been cool.
Well, I'm sending you a big hug.And thank you for your

(57:18):
vulnerable truth. I mean, there's that's such a
gift to our listeners and to me to be vulnerable and honest.
And thank you for sharing that. Well, I'll talk to you soon.
Thanks, Shawna. Bye.
I want to thank my guest, Shawna.
Christmas, SHANNA Christmas. Everybody knows how to spell

(57:38):
Christmas. Find her special highly
intelligent, it's on YouTube. Find her reels on the Instagram,
find her website and hire ShawnaChristmas to do some comedy and
or keynote speaking. She's getting into speaking and
we know in healthcare we need all the laughs we can get.

(58:02):
OK now Oh I want to thank my sonNathaniel Norton for putting
together the music loop for Traumedy.
As always I want to thank you the listener for being on this
Co healing. Journey.