July 22, 2025 • 44 mins
Jason Louis - Not Quite Bullet Proof. Jason says, "Comedy Saved My Life and Cancer was the absolute best thing that ever happened to me." Jason is a trauma survivor x 7 or more! and he loves to laugh and is willing to be so vulnerable in order to help others. This former Sheriff Deputy and Cancer Survivor openly shares vulnerable experiences from childhood on that led him to want to make a difference by being a Peace Officer and then some of the unfortunate traumatic events that occurred in the line of duty and how he works at getting through PTSD and is wiling to help others and talk with those who may be going through similar traumas.
Reach out:
Jason Louis https://www.facebook.com/jason.louis.1000
Nancy Norton: https://www.nancynorton.tv/
Support for Law Enforcement:
https://www.copline.org/about/who-we-are
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:04):
You're listening to Traumedy, the podcast that helps you take
your pain and play with it. I'm Nancy Norton.
I'm a comedian. I'm a nurse, although I haven't
worked as a nurse in a long time.
I work with nurses at conferences and all kinds of
conferences. Frankly.
Where was I last week? A lawyer office, you know, a
(00:24):
legal office. A beautiful, the most beautiful
lawyer office I've ever seen on the 29th floor in downtown
Denver. I love sharing the power of
humor. And I just got some feedback
today that brought me to tears and made me feel so good to hear
the feedback I got from that conference.
I got to tell you, I really needed it, too.
I've just been like, a lot of stuff going on, I think
(00:44):
energetically right now where it's like, gosh, there's so
much. It feels a little overwhelming.
And then if you're like me and you're dissociating with a
little doom scrolling, yeah, youcan get into a little doom.
I got to make sure and meditate,sleep enough.
And it is currently, as I recordthis, 1:30 in the morning.
This is just my pattern. I like to stay up late.
(01:07):
All right, The guest I have thisweek.
I'm sorry. I've been a little spotty on my
summer uploads, so I hope that you're hanging in there.
I've been traveling. And then I recorded a couple
episodes in the Ozarks when I went to Branson and then to the
lake cabin where I got to water ski.
And I had a lot of fun. And here's what I got to tell
(01:29):
you. I can have some judgments and
stereotypes about folks in the Ozarks.
That's where I'm from. And I got to remember things
have changed since I lived there, as, I mean, the last time
I lived there actually was the early 80s.
So things have changed. I mean, there's a wide variety
of people there. But anyway, the folks I worked
with at the Branson Comedy Factory were wonderful.
(01:52):
And so my first guest is a gentleman who is a promoter
because he was at the shows, he was laughing big, He was having
a great time. And turns out he's a trauma
survivor times 7. So a lot of content in this
episode deals with some really intense stuff.
(02:13):
Cancer diagnosis, taking a life as an officer, suicidal
ideation. So those are your trigger
warnings for this episode. It's coming to you live from
Branson, MO at the Branson Comedy Factory inside Branson
columns. This is a space.
Woo. Well, that's great for two
(02:35):
people with PTSD. That got us going.
That's all we needed because I felt the energy falling off.
OK, All right. I got to do a little heart show.
Seriously. I mean, that was interesting.
We both had like. That's the ghost.
We got you guys arrived. Oh, there are ghosts in the
theaters, aren't there? We need to.
(02:55):
OK, so I forgot to thank the ghosts.
Give a shout out. And Telena, we got a shout.
Thank everybody. All right, here we go again.
Take two. We're going to try to get even
though we may leave that one in.Woo.
All right. Oh, I forgot.
Yeah, if you want to see a live comedy show with old Nance I, I
(03:18):
I'm looking at my link tree right now.
I need to turn up the brightnessso I can read it because it's on
night mode at 1:30 in the morning.
It's all faded in. Silverthorne, August 7th.
Skagit, Washington, August 9th Louisville, Co August 22nd
Denver, September 5th at the BugTheater.
(03:38):
A bunch of cool, brilliant womenscientists and comedians getting
together Oh yeah in September going up to Rapid City, SD
September 12th, 13 and then backup to Washington September 14th,
1516 with Moms Unhinged, my big event September 19th in Reading,
PA September 20th in Homer, AK at the Alaska World Arts
(04:02):
Festival and then I'm going to do a traumedy workshop September
21st. This is my vision for traumedy.
I just want to say it is my vision to doing this live in
real time. Get a panel of comedians, some
mental health experts around andlet's let's have a comedy show
(04:23):
where we take your pain and playwith it.
All right, enjoy this episode. I'll see you on the other side.
Welcome to Traumedy. My guest this week is coming to
you live. We're here in Branson, MO Back
(04:44):
to my roots in the Ozarks. We're at the Branson Comedy
Factory inside Branson columns. And I just met this man.
He is a cancer survivor, former deputy sheriff and an amazing
promoter. Please welcome Jason Lewis.
Welcome, Jason. Thank you, I appreciate it.
Nice to meet you and be a part of it.
It's so cool. You know, I trust the
(05:06):
synchronicity like I do. You were saying that we just had
a little ghost walkthrough. And I do trust the spirit energy
that guided us together because I just happened to go down the
hallway at the hotel and I saw this man.
I said, that man looks familiar.As I get closer and we start
talking and you said, you said in no uncertain terms that
(05:27):
comedy saved your life. And I said that's why I need to
talk with you. It, no, it really has and I tell
everybody that I meet like I've become an open book over the
years and and I mean that I believe it was you said the
other night, if you make one person laugh, then the night's
worth it. And if I can change somebody's,
somebody's day, life, whatever, with the story that I may have
(05:51):
to help them, then it's it's absolutely worth it.
And also help yourself, like part of the trauma theme is it
called a Co healing? I've just really latched onto
that term because I used to think that oh, I'm a healer, I'm
a nurse, 5th generation nurse. But then I found out really it's
Co healing. Like we raise each other's
frequency by being authentic, sharing our journey.
(06:12):
And here's what helped me. We're not saying we're experts.
We're here to share. Just peer peer sharing.
Here's something that got me through a rough patch.
So thank you for being willing to come on here because it's
vulnerable. It's an honor like it really is.
Like I'm I like to practice whatI've reached.
Yeah, so if I tell. People to open up then I want to
be that I want to be able to open up if I'm telling somebody
(06:33):
to open up so. Yeah, I appreciate it.
Well, when when I ran into you in the hallway, we ended up
having a really nice conversation.
I said please, if you have time.And here we are sitting right
inside the comedy showroom. And it's like, amazing to me.
First thing you shared was that you had stage 4 cancer.
Do you feel like you could drop in and talk about that journey
(06:55):
and how humor maybe helped you through it?
Absolutely. So I am a, I'm a cancer
survivor. I when I was diagnosed at first
it was, I want to say misdiagnosed, but it was missed.
I had some some lower back pain and it kind of got misdiagnosed
for a couple weeks because unfortunately for me it always
(07:16):
happened on the weekend. So we went to the ER like like
people do and it was, I was toldI probably had a urinary tract
infection or something on the lines of bladder infection or
something. So we put me on my antibiotics
at me home. I get better for a couple of
days and then bam, hit me again the the shorter version.
(07:37):
Otherwise we'd be here for two weeks.
Talking about it is I, I, I basically fell over in the
middle of a Walmart in the fetalposition and I had a really good
friend of mine with me and he loaded me up.
Because the pain was so severe and knocked you down, it was
like, it's like a shooting pain through your, like your spine.
And it's just like my lower back.
(07:57):
It really did feel like a kidneylike it that's that's about the
area. It hurt.
And that happened on like a Thursday or something maybe
Friday night and I got to feeling better.
So I thought, well, I'll just wait and Monday I'll make an
appointment with my actual doctors that I and the little
TMI is that me and my my girlfriend decided we were going
to fool around and we started fooling around and she very
(08:21):
lightly touched my body and it hurt like no other.
And the little self examination and I immediately went into Oh
my gosh, freak out moment because I felt like I had Mount
Rushmore on my voice. So.
Really. So it testicular.
Yeah, it was testicular cancer that was.
(08:43):
So the pain that I come to find out now that I know is the pain
you're you're the nerves are attached to your lower back.
So I was the my left testicle was in a bunch of pain.
So I was feeling all the pain inmy lower it.
Refers the pain back here yeah so I did not you know this is
really good for people to know if you start having something
(09:03):
like that like oh make sure and what do you think about you know
doing the testicular like self exams I mean like check check
your boys absolutely after a shower or during or you.
Know look, we're men. You're down there and check
them. At Walmart you got pockets, you
got a little pocket pool, but but so you wow, so you were in
(09:28):
shock. You were like there is there is
definitely a yes, a tumor, yes and how scary.
And that was on. That was a Saturday evening.
I know I remember for a fact it was a Saturday.
So I sat all day all night Saturday, all day Sunday,
freaking out, walking to my doctor's office on Monday
morning. Told him what I found.
(09:50):
He immediately brought me back to the exam room and within a
matter of hours had me in an oncologist appointment, had me
X-rays, we were CAT scans, and went through the the whole
shebang. And I was in surgery, I believe
within three days of my doctor'sappointment.
(10:12):
Wow. Because when they, when they did
do the scans, they, they found out that, yeah, I, I basically,
there was, there was, it was allover head, basically head to toe
and, and Oh my gosh. So I I knock on wood as I beat.
Them. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm not. Going to yeah, I was lucky
enough I didn't lose any of my lymph nodes so that that that
(10:33):
was if there's a positive for just the medical side of things,
I, I was able to keep all that intact.
So that was, but it was like it was absolutely life changing for
me. It it brought me into a from
one, from one point to to a new point and.
How old were you when all this happened?
I think I was 23. Oh, so yeah.
(10:55):
Like 23 I think 2324 maybe? That's so young.
So to have that and, you know, one of my guests, Rick Bryan, a
comedian in in Denver, also had that's one of the first jokes I
ever heard him do. And I think part of his recovery
was being, you know, talking about losing one of his
testicles. And yeah, he has some.
(11:15):
He has some jokes about it. Everybody I know that's been
through it has jokes about it and I, but I've been, I mean,
we've, we've, I mean, that's howobviously it's what you're doing
here. But I think it's how a lot of
people cope and I think it's, it's just, it just works.
I was, I was very lucky. I had a great support group and
(11:36):
I actually worked with a gentleman to this day, his name
almost calling, I'll call him Barton.
He, he was a testicular cancer survivor.
He worked in this with the same department I did.
He went through a few. Years.
Deputy yes. And immediately was was by my
side and and after it's all saidand done or whatever we used to,
(12:01):
we would literally stand together so we could tell each
other we had a pair. That's brilliant.
I love that. What are you?
And this is like, I remember really like in the 90s when I
was doing comedy, somehow I readan article how how those radar
guns that that cops use can cause testicular cancer, that
(12:25):
they set them in their laps sometime.
And I mean, have you ever, did you ever have that a radar gun
in your? Life, so whenever.
I know what caused. It right so well they think mine
was probably from trauma I played I played sports stuff
growing up and had some injuriesgrowing up because I was kind of
a wild little child didn't know how to not fall down so so.
(12:48):
You had some, maybe a rupture. Yeah, they they think our time
comes from West like a construction.
Yeah. So from what?
From what I. I I see guys at home going.
Yeah, right. Yeah.
Because I guess every guy has had the.
You're going to cringe. But so maybe a post injury that
caused something to go awry, they don't know.
(13:10):
Yeah. Now I will say like now the
everything that I remember, first of all, I'm 49 now.
So it's this has been a long time ago.
Wow, look how long you've. Been in remission and you said
you get yourself checked every. Year Yep every once a year I go
in I get all my blood work done and and knock on some more wood
everything so far has has checked out so yeah I.
(13:32):
Don't know if that's wood, but Ithink it is.
It's got something. We're going to call it wood.
So but yeah, so it's, it's been a it's been a journey.
And that's the, that was kind ofthe start of it, but.
And all along I'm just knowing you, like you just love laughing
and you that I know that helped you, you know, and I've said
this on here before, but I'm going to say it again because I
(13:53):
think it's worthy of repeating is when you laugh or when you
get a joke, you actually lower stress hormones and raise your
NK cells, your immune response, natural killer cells, NK cells,
scanning your body for cancer cells, anomalies, viruses.
It helps us stay well to laugh and it get, you know, keeps you
well. So keep doing whatever it is.
(14:14):
And then you do promotion for cannabis.
So I was wondering, and I don't know if you're a pot smoker or
if that's a comfortable, well, it's legal, so you don't have to
be in the closet about it. But I mean, a lot of people
giggle when they smoke pot. I do, I can't smoke pot very
often because I feel so silly. Like I, I'm annoyingly like I
talk even more and I I just laughed so crazily.
(14:36):
So I'm, I'm not, I'm not a massive consumer, but I do
partake occasionally. Honestly, I stay so busy with
with the promotions that you don't you don't have time you.
Don't have time to? Partake, I say so busy, but I, I
that aspect of my life like it's, you know, kind of circling
back a little bit is that we kind of talked before this
(14:59):
started like it's probably been in the last 10 years where I've
really kind of come out of my shell as far as being out very
out like an outgoing person outside of my like local friends
group. But, but I, I kind of, I guess
probably about the same time I just started making the, the,
the change to, to like make other people laugh or, or, or
(15:21):
just be engaged because I, I seethe stress in the, in the, the,
the drama, the trauma that goes through everybody's life.
I, I've done law enforcement, I've done, I drove a truck for
12 years. I got into beer sales and then I
was a bartender. So like I.
(15:44):
You've done a lot of like peopleservice, yeah, service industry.
And then also you were saying back in the hallway, yeah, how
it, and I think you alluded to it a minute ago, is that it
changed your whole life trajectory, like having cancer.
And I was saying like, I have some friends who are cancer
survivors and it's like an exponential growth, almost like
(16:05):
2 lifetimes in one. So it's like the precancer
personality and maybe the empathy.
Like now you have such a more Does life feel more sacred or is
there something more tender? I think with me it to to be kind
of raw is is growing up. I I grew up with kind of a chip
on my shoulder. I was, we grew up, we grew up
(16:26):
poor. I grew up around not such a
great lifestyle. There was drugs that were
prevalent in the house and, and I wasn't, I wasn't real happy
growing up. And I kind of made a decision
to, to go into law enforcement and to kind of just break away
from that, try to be the change that I wanted.
(16:47):
But in the process, being a little older now, like I, I was
not healed. I was not in I was not in a good
spot and I was just an angry person.
You most people, most people that know me now would have
would have never thought that I was the guy I was back then.
I you did not want to be around me.
I was I was for the better like words.
I was an asshole. I mean, I just was there's.
(17:10):
You probably had a lot of reactive trauma.
Anger is a secondary emotion after being afraid or being sad
severely said so like a sad kid,you know, if didn't get your
needs met and also had parents that were irresponsible, not
able to be parenting you, you get the parent yourself.
Kind of that is valid. I mean, anyway, I just want to
say your feelings are valid. And to all the assholes out
(17:32):
there, there's a reason. There's a reason you're an
asshole. Like I do have compassion.
Most of us, most of us. I mean, I really do.
It's like I try to have compassion for myself when I've
gone off or like I just points to where I need to heal a little
more. But so so do you feel like now
you've healed some of that? Or I think I feel some of it.
I mean, if I'm being completely honest and I try to be, is that
(17:52):
there, There's still moments andI, I, I try to be better at
recognizing those moments Now, you know, I, I try to recognize
them and I don't. My problem is, and it's kind of
circling back to, I think it involves my childhood is I don't
communicate well at all. I don't like with me and you and
a stranger. I communicate people I'm super
(18:13):
super close with. Like I try to compartmentalize.
Yeah, compartment. Yeah, compartmentalize.
It takes a lot to put up with meand I know this and I know this,
but you know, but I really was like I.
Was I don't know, man, when people say that, you know what I
mean, when somebody like, I always feel like it's the people
that don't think they're a lot that are a lot and the people
that think they're a lot. I mean, you probably are like I
(18:35):
know you're, you know, you've got a lot going on, your
intense, you know you, but as authentic as you are, I've got
to think that that's a huge value.
Like I don't know. Anyway, I don't want to.
I think you were talking about rage and if you've healed stuff,
but how do you feel that you no,but do you feel like, is that
where some of the stuff still comes out as in those intimate
(18:56):
relationships? Yes, and I think that I and I
think that, and I think a lot ofus if, if you're, if we're being
honest, it's easier to sit from the outside and see issues that,
you know, you can recognize it. Like I have some very good
friends of mine that I know theygo through stuff and I can see
it and I don't speak up and I feel like, and then I feel bad
because I'm like, I know I should have said something to
(19:18):
you now that they're doing anything wrong.
But like, I know I can tell by the way they're treating their
loved ones. And, and, and you know, your
home is, is, is your safe place,you know, and you know, that's
where in that's where you get away a lot more there because
you it is your safe place. And you can see the way that
people treat their loved ones and you know, they're not that
person and they're they're not like that all the time.
(19:40):
And then and you know. But stuffs up for.
Them but you but yeah, and and and you just we people need to
talk more that's and then comingfor somebody who doesn't
communicate well, but we need totalk.
So you're working on that. You're working on taking a
breath and saying the thing thatyou don't want to say, which is
I'm feeling a lot of, I feel forme, I needed to learn how and
(20:01):
I'm not in it. I do not have a significant
other and I'm not sure I'll everhave one again.
I don't know if there's enough time for me to heal this
lifetime, but I because I do feel like I don't want to
project out, you know, self hateor shame or fear, but I do like
you. I have a son and we, I mean, I
have to make amends to him quiteoften.
(20:22):
Like I'm like that dude, that was not about you.
And I apologize like there's a. Activity sometimes where I don't
come from the highest place thatI want to come from.
So I'm working on saying Ouch orI feel scared.
That makes me feel, you know, like trying to say that the
feeling that is usually hidden behind the anger, which is fear,
(20:42):
fear, fear. And what is the other one?
Sadness. I feel sad.
I feel sad and a lot of it terrified of abandonment is like
something. I say a lot and I absolutely
understand that I've destroyed alot of relationships and not
necessarily because I've done something wrong, but I've gotten
into relationships where you think it's going to work and and
(21:05):
maybe the other person wants to make it work.
But in all reality, it would have, it should have worked.
We should have been together, but it's it's you said a while
ago it's codependency and it's at the time it's going to, you
know, it, it's something you jump into and then, you know,
you let yeah, you let somebody take advantage of you and then
you just, well, it's I can I just, you know, abandonment.
(21:27):
You're scared you're just going to do and then.
You do self abandonment, which is the worst because it's like,
oh, I got to be this way for this person and I have a sense
of humor. Yes.
See, I think if somebody has a sense of humor, I just have yet
to have a partner that I felt like matched.
Like I know they're not going tobe exactly the same, but just
that somebody wants to laugh, has a sense of humor.
(21:47):
That's such a big plus. It's so great that you're so
easy to laugh, especially all that you've been through with
the cancer. And then you're sharing like
before we started recording in law enforcement and you know,
you've you've had some really intense times.
Do you, do you feel like like wewere, we were saying you listen
to Vinny Montes and how you started seeing his stuff back
when vines were a thing and thatit helped you to laugh, but also
(22:12):
he would do some deeper dives about the trauma.
Right. So I've been being with a law
enforcement background. That's I, that's all I knew back
in that time. That's all I concentrated on
was, was law enforcement relationship.
Was I, I kind of abandoned relationships with, with my kid,
my daughter, even even with the relationships with, with her mom
(22:34):
and at the time and, and everything like it just
everything was all about law enforcement because that's what
I, what I knew. So whenever, yeah, whenever
vines hit and then, you know, and then YouTube start blowing
up and I started seeing if Vinnie was one of the first
ones, Mike and and Officer Daniels.
And also it was it all started out funnier than every now and
again they throw in a little of that dark humor and I was like,
(22:55):
Hey, this is OK, you know, because I mean, it was something
you didn't normally get involvedwith or see.
So, and it was kind of like, huh, this is all right, so we
can talk because we all make those jokes behind closed doors
amongst like your, your, you know, the handful of friends
that you go out with or that youtrust, but never out in the
(23:16):
open. So I was like, it was, it was
kind of, it was refreshing. And it was almost like a wait
like, all right, so we're not alone.
Like everybody, you know, kind of thinks this and it's, it's
it's OK. But yeah.
Yeah, it normalizes it. It's like I'm not the only one.
I'm not alone with this. I'm, you know, because you, I
think also, like I said, I got written up in nursing school for
(23:36):
some of the dark humor that I used.
And then I found out, like, actually it's really helpful to
express that vicarious trauma soit doesn't get stuck in your
body. I know.
Again, I'm a broken record on that.
That's what Trauma D is all about.
But so it helped you and then you and so you were saying like
you had some experiences. Not only did you have to is OK
(23:58):
to say, yeah, take a life. You had to take a life.
Wow. And then you also got shot.
So you've been on both ends of that which?
And I and I giggle. So if anybody heard me giggle
whenever the whole get shot, there's a whole story behind
that that I hope we have. We'll share and I promise you.
OK, trigger warning. No pun intended, but trigger
(24:18):
warning. But if I can laugh about it, you
can laugh. About it, Yeah, OK.
No, the the. So to kind of come forth full
circle, the, the knowing me before I got into before I had
cancer, like I was, I was an absolute jerk.
And then I'm going to give him ashout out because my sheriff of
the time, Gary Stulzer, and he made a comment when I went up to
(24:42):
go to move from the jail, which was currently working to the
road division, asked me. He's like, how did you go for
being the guy that nobody wantedto work with, that everybody was
kind of scared to say anything around with whether coworkers or
inmates? Wow, it's.
Hard to imagine. To being the guy that everybody
rallied around and, and I say this and I told you just too
(25:04):
late, cancer, like cancer was the absolute best thing that
happened to me. Because almost almost truly
dying and putting that thought in your head is, is completely
different than wanting to die, which is where I was at, if I'm
being completely honest. And then so you go from, Hey, I
want to die. I wanted to, you know, and there
(25:24):
was there was, there was suicidal thoughts in there to,
Oh my God, I might die. Holy crap, That's when you.
That's when you actually found your.
Life force, Yeah. And so and I just wanted to
live. And it really was like.
And I had people around me that that gave me a support group.
They donated. They donated their sick time to
(25:45):
me so I wouldn't lose my insurance.
So I'm going to get emotional. But and it was everybody.
It wasn't just, it wasn't just Co workers inside like like
other deputies or, or correctional officers that
worked inside our, our, our county jail.
It was cooks. It was, it was the nurses that
(26:05):
it was, it was admin staff. I mean, everybody rally around
me and my whole outlook and my whole demeanor like just
changed. It was it was the best thing
that ever happened. That's amazing if.
I'm so it was. That's a such an outpouring of
love for you. It was.
Did it just change your heart? Absolutely 1,000,000% And, and
(26:27):
I, you know, there's, like I said, you still carry, I, I
still to this day carry, you know, the, the, the, the, the
trauma from, you know, from the growing up and the things.
But you know, I do have to tell myself to sit back every now and
again and go, Hey, look at whereyou've been, look at what
(26:47):
happened to you and you know, and, and look at, look at where
you're going. Because I, I'm tracking where I
found my niche. You know, I think we're like,
I've always been a people personand I'm happy to be back working
like with people. Not, not necessarily being, you
know, I'm not, I'm not writing tickets anymore.
I'm giving away tickets. But but more on an equal
(27:07):
footing. Yeah, so it but to to to kind of
wrap back around is that Yeah, so, so he he asked me that and I
said to everybody like the best thing I have at me was, was
cancer. And then I went through the
cancer scare and then I have sleep apnea.
So and I, we, we haven't even talked about this yet.
(27:28):
So I had, I'm going to throw this on.
Yeah, we had sleep. I had sleep apnea.
We, I don't know if you do or not.
So I had sleep apnea and I had, I had surgery done where they
took out my tonsils and adenoidsbecause I couldn't sleep with
the mask. It actually made it lots worse.
If I have a phobia, anything around my neck like drives me
crazy. So they did, I did a surgery.
(27:50):
I had the surgery, had my tonsils and adenoids removed.
So about two weeks after I had the surgery, they let me go back
to work light duty. So I sat in what we called the
control tower. It's real quick.
So it's probably a 25 by 25 roomand there's like a little spiral
staircase of the bathroom down below it.
And then you were you're basically locked in there by
electronic locks in the in the jail.
(28:10):
So that was my that was my gig are.
You all alone in there. So, yeah, so everybody, I mean
you. So the CE OS and deputies would
come up, but they were serving lunch.
They were serving lunch and theyall walked back out of the, the
block area is what we'll call it, down to the kitchen area.
(28:30):
And so everybody's in the kitchen.
There was like, I think four or five on duty at that time.
And I felt this really warm sensation in the back of my
throat and started and started feeling like I was choking and I
the incision in my throat had come open.
Oh no. And so all I could do was
(28:51):
bleeding out was basically hollow for help unlock the doors
to the hallway into the control room for help to come to me, ran
down the spiral staircase and immediately started bleeding out
into a trash can. Long story short is I wound up I
wound up across the street. Luckily the hospitals just
across the street and I lost thelittle let me think about this
(29:18):
either just under or just over half my blood supply to the
point where they couldn't fly me.
I was not stable enough to fly. They landed, they brought a
helicopter in for me landed a helicopter kept it on the ground
and the nurse to flight nurse God lover and I wish to just I
cannot remember her name. I'll never get her face, but I
her name escapes me. She told me she's like, you're
going to be all right, you know,And I'm now I'm leaning over 55
(29:40):
gallon, the trash can just bleeding out.
And she says you're going to be all right.
We're going to stay on the ground so we can get you ready.
And I remember spitting blood and looking at her and telling
her like, I've, I've, I've been around this long enough to know
if you had a helicopter waiting for somebody, they're not all
right. Yeah, yeah.
There's some signs. There's some signs there.
They got that fight the flight for life I believe it's called.
(30:01):
So, yeah, so luckily they did get, they finally got some IV
started in me, got my, got, got,got, got the fluids in me.
And obviously they they got me cauterized.
And they didn't have units of blood.
There and well, they had to get this, the bleeding stop first.
Yeah, because otherwise. I, the doctor that came in was
actually on a black tie event and once again I, I, I'm drawn a
(30:25):
blank on names right now. I'm a fantastic man.
He also did some of the cancer work with me and so.
He came in in a tuxedo. He did.
He was on, he was coming to a black tie affair.
Him and his nurse both like evening gown, tuxedo and to the
point where I was told I don't remember how to be honest
because I was in and out of consciousness.
I was told they didn't even havereally time to properly scrub in
(30:46):
that I wound up throwing blood all over his like God knows how
much. Like truly owned tuxedo.
I wish I could. I wish there was a picture of
that. So I don't know why.
I know that's kind of morbid, but I was like.
Friday night at Freddy's or something.
It was, it was crazy. Wow.
So that's dedication. That's that's how, yeah.
So so that happens and they and I saw I cheat death there.
(31:10):
I'm like a cat with 9 lives and I'm on like life 10.
So Fast forward to just to warn everybody like this is this is
kind of a dark, dark spot. OK, trigger warning.
This is this is in 2000. In 2006, I was involved in a a
call through law enforcement through a department that I went
(31:32):
to. I changed departments and not to
go into great detail domestic, Ilocated the suspect.
He had a knife. I spent a lot of time discussing
life with him. He was in a dark spot and
unfortunately things changed. There was a threat to me.
(31:57):
I reacted accordingly. I just started right now.
It's like there was there was noever any charges.
I was always cleared. But a young man lost his life.
I took that life, put me in a very, a very dark place, very
dark hole for a very long time. The department I work for sent
me to a couple weeks of therapy.I was already signed up to leave
(32:21):
that department. I already had a job offer and a
job at another department beforethis ever happened.
So as soon as my, my, my, basically I felt like once my
two weeks is up, they just kind of dumped me.
So they don't my therapy, they don't everything.
And it was like, hey, here you go, go on your own.
And I didn't know any better at the time.
I didn't really tell anybody. There were definitely signs
(32:42):
people around me knew. They, they gave me all the
support that they knew to give me, but it was, it was very,
very ugly to the point where suicide was, was a very
realistic thought. I got into law enforcement to
save lives, not take lives. That's all I like.
That's all I can think of. Yeah, when you think of the name
peace officer, I'm trying to serve the community.
(33:04):
So when we think. OK, go ahead.
No, no, you're good. When I when I think about law
enforcement and people love to hate cops right now and it's
sort of like we don't realize like like we don't realize like
that's the worst thing that can happen.
Like you'd rather take a bullet than send one in a weird.
Is that true? Absolutely.
I mean, I know you've done both you have you can speak from
(33:25):
experience, but that was much harder for you.
Yes. And it took such a toll and
probably still. Does it?
Does I, I, I, I tried to talk topeople, especially those in law
enforcement. I have been involved where I've,
I've personally known people whohave been involved in shootings
and I've had an opportunity to sit down with them and kind of
decompress with them. And it's, it's therapeutic for,
(33:47):
for, for me. And I know it helps them because
I didn't have. I have people who tried, but
there was nobody in my medium circle that had been through an
actual. You need someone that knows
like, and I'm sure there's booksout there now that say here's
the cycle you're going to go through or like are is there an,
you know, like just like, well, they say like with cancer,
there's these stages of grief ortheir state.
You don't know, there's not a resource that you know of.
(34:09):
It's just. Personal experience.
Personal experience. I, I, I don't.
I'm sure there is. Yeah, I'm sure there is.
And the only other thing too is I'm going to give, I'm going to
call her out by name. But I was working with a girl
named and I don't think, you know, I got a lot of, I did get,
you know, a lot of the attentionthat that they did have.
But she was also very new to thejob.
(34:29):
She was a rookie and she was there to back me up.
And she was, she was involved. She didn't pull her, but she was
involved. So she went through, you know,
she went through a lot of the same stuff I was going through.
So, you know, we kind of helped each other as much as we could,
but it was a very, it was ugly. It was just, there was no other
way to say it was just a very ugly time.
Was it? You know, and I felt I, you
(34:50):
know, I felt very bad for the family.
I felt very bad for myself. And, you know, and then all my I
have friends and family that, you know, it got it got ugly.
And I had been, you know, I kindof, I, I, I have to leave it at
that. I don't want to go into
particulars, but I mean, it did,it got ugly for everybody
(35:12):
involved and emotions gotten involved and it was just a very
ugly time. And I've become, I don't want
comfortable is not the right word.
Like I've become more open aboutit just because I do think that
there is a there, there's a healing process for me.
And over the last probably aboutthe last maybe 10 years, I've
(35:35):
I've kind of been able to talk about it a little more, a little
more without reliving it becauseI'm 10, probably 12 years ago, I
wouldn't be able to tell you a story without having a complete
mental breakdown. Oh, wow.
So it's it's. Thank you for.
Yeah, thank you for. Doing this because I I know,
like I say, one of the other things when I talk about Co
healing, but also I want people to know they're not alone, Like
(35:55):
there's somebody, you know, somebody will hear it.
That is like, oh man, I've been this is this guy.
I get this. Like I'm not the only guy that's
gone through something like this.
And obviously it gets better andI don't know if there's any
humor, but maybe not with this one.
I don't know. But no with that one, no.
So this is going to sound reallyweird.
Getting the getting shot part iswhere the humor comes.
(36:17):
From which is odd. To say.
Or maybe it feels like karmic, like it cleanse some of your
karma maybe? Like about just after a year
after the the officer involved shooting where where the life
was taken. I was involved in a in a high.
I was there was a pursuit. It's a high tense situation.
(36:38):
At one point my gum, my gum was out and and it was reholstered
and there was a scuffle and my gun in my holster went off and
shot me through the top of my leg, traveled through the top of
my quad, severed everything it did, it missed.
(37:00):
It missed the bone, the femur, and then it missed the artery.
By just, I mean just centimeters, like literally with
centimeters of of probably not being here out of blood out.
There's no doubt in my mind. Yeah.
So if you're keeping track, I think it's like 6 or 7, I don't
know, something like that. But it's, I really, it's so like
I sat in this ditch bleeding outand but my first thought was
(37:25):
because I left, I left somebody in the vehicle to help take down
the suspect. And then I had two, two other
deputies with me, both my supervisors.
I had a captain and a Sergeant with me.
And my first thought was, and I told her I like the way the
human brain works is amazing to me because it's my first.
I was. I just got one of my friends
shot because I heard the gun butI didn't realize it was me.
(37:48):
OK. So I look up because one's in
front of me and he seems to be OK.
He's looking at me and then I went to look at the one behind
me. I put weight on my leg and I
rolled over and then immediatelylike I rolled over and my
thought might in my head, I swear to you, this day was oh
shit, it was me. And then then I went into kind
of a bit of a panic mode. And then I'll, but then it's
(38:09):
like you, you, your training kicks in or instinct kicks in
and you, your brain recalls all these things that you don't
realize you remember. So I had a very complicated
watch on like watch band at the time.
It's used a lot today actually got the same band on that they
are saying kind of class today, but it was a very new watch and
(38:31):
it's a very love watch by me. And when the ambulance showed
up, they were going to cut it off me because I could figure
out how to get to class, but done.
And I told her I said what? No, I'll take care of that.
So like I still have my motor functions and like, and I was
trying to keep myself calm and, and which you know, and I'm, I'm
not a real smart man, but I'm smart enough to know that I know
(38:53):
there's a massive blood vessel that runs right next to your
leg, right? That's right, the femoral
artery. I couldn't move my leg.
I figured it was severed. I figured I was done.
I really did Like I was. I was, I was.
I was making plans in my mind that this is this is it like
you, you've done cooked yourself.
It's over so but. You save that.
Watch. But yeah, save the watch.
(39:14):
None of my watch. None of my watch.
Oh no. What was that I was thinking?
I didn't know if there was a Barney Five thing that was going
to happen. I mean, because it was always
kind of. Shit, So it was the funny part
was that everybody said no, no, you're good.
It's funny and it is a Barney 5 moment because everybody that,
that at first everybody was like, so you shot yourself.
(39:37):
And I mean, to be honest with you, at first I was kind of
like, F you. No.
And I was like, well, kinda like, yeah, it was yeah.
I mean, but now, so now I reallydo laugh about it.
And the great thing is, is I know we're on.
You can't see this. There's a tattoo on my shoulder.
OK, I'll take a picture of it. That says, and it's a little
faded, but bear with me, OK? It's got the date, it's cut a
(40:01):
Superman tattoo or a Superman emblem with a bullet hole on it.
And the saying on it is not quite bulletproof.
Because that's hilarious. They, they, everybody used to
tell me that I'm not Superman. You can't save everybody.
You got to eventually slow down.And I got taught my lesson.
So I'm not bulletproof. I am not Superman.
So and and so you just got to got to roll.
(40:23):
It and that's an ongoing like, like reminder, especially in the
mirror, you see that and you're like, OK, remember you can't do
everything. And I'm not quite bulletproof.
And it's it's such a great like the fact that you could take a
lighter perspective and you know, sorry, I brought up the
Barney five thing, but as soon as you said that, I was like,
oh, I do. I was like, don't say it because
that it was like we were whatever the Joey who was here
(40:47):
last night doing Otis Campbell. Impressions.
I was like, I Andy Griffith was a huge part of my life.
But yeah, man, you got to have self forgiveness.
You got to like, I mean, the universe keeps giving us these
opportunities. Like everybody says, God has a
sense of humor, but I'm asking God, can I please learn from
delight rather than suffering? Now you know, because it's
(41:07):
enough of that. You don't have to do.
You don't need to be like the cat and have nine.
You don't need three more. No, I'm good.
OK, you're good, right? You're good.
Let's just let's just call that good.
We've got, we got the message. So I have friends that are law
enforcement, military and we're,it's, it's a, you know, first
responders military. They're close knit group of
(41:30):
people and and I tell everybody all the time like if you, if you
reach out to me, if I'm as long as I'm available and I see the
message, I will be more than happy to give you somebody to
talk to you so. That's amazing.
Well, how can people reach you? So I am.
So if they if they reach out on Facebook, it's Jason Lewis.
I'm. LO.
Lu Yeah. Louis OK.
(41:51):
Jason Lewis, not like Jerry. Not Jerry.
And you'll, you'll see me and ifI could, I'd like, I mean this.
So the company I work for now isa cannabis company is a Stairway
Cannabis out of Branson. And it's got a just big flowery
cyber truck on my profile that you can't miss.
So if you see the cyber truck, you found me.
With the cannabis wrap, there's not going to be and you're in
(42:11):
Branson, you're not going to miss, there's not going to be
another cyber truck with the cannabis.
I got to tell you when I walked up today because, you know, I
was raised here and it's like I said, I live in Boulder, Co now
and little alternative lifestyles, you know, pansexual,
vegan. It's like not I was, I was sort
of like, OK, I have to, I feel like I have to be a little in
(42:31):
the closet. But and not that it matters,
like I said, I'm a barely sexualat this age.
Nobody cares. Nobody cares, nobody cares.
But I was just going to say whenI saw the cannabis truck in
front, I was like, OK, I think we're going to be all right.
You know what I mean? Like Branson has shifted.
There's a you have a huge globe and you have a cannabis truck
and what? Else do you want what I love
about? Yeah.
And what I love about doing these shows and it's.
(42:53):
And I got to be honest, it's been a little challenging
because it's like trying to get everybody on one page and it's
like all different ages, people from different backgrounds,
people from, you know, all different parts of the country
and Branson. And it's, but I think it's
really cool because I think whatthis club is doing is bringing
people together from all walks of life.
And thank you, Jason. Thank you so much.
Thank you and I'll put a link. Thank you.
(43:14):
I'll try not to step on what you're saying.
No, you're good. You say it again.
Thank you, Jason. Thank you.
And I will put a link in the show notes to your Facebook page
if anybody wants to reach out. And, you know, it could be a
positive thing too. They don't have to just reach
out in the crisis, but that you're open to talking to
somebody. All right, Well, thank you.
That's a big gift, Big gift to me and a big gift to our list.
(43:35):
Appreciate it, been a pleasure. I want to thank my guest Jason
Lewis and reach out to him on Facebook.
I put some links in the show notes for Jason's Facebook.
My website also put a link in the show notes for Cop Line.
There's some other resources I found online for officers going
(43:58):
through mental health difficulties.
So don't isolate with that. Make sure you talk to somebody.
Don't try to be stoic. PTSD, you can't muscle yourself
through it, trust me. Get some trauma therapy.
You'll be so glad you did. Sending lots of love to
everybody. Thanks for listening.
And remember, no matter what, keep laughing.
You're listening to Traumedy, the podcast that helps you take
your pain and play with it. I'm Nancy Norton.
I'm a comedian. I'm a nurse, although I haven't
worked as a nurse in a long time.
I work with nurses at conferences and all kinds of
conferences. Frankly.
Where was I last week? A lawyer office, you know, a
(00:24):
legal office. A beautiful, the most beautiful
lawyer office I've ever seen on the 29th floor in downtown
Denver. I love sharing the power of
humor. And I just got some feedback
today that brought me to tears and made me feel so good to hear
the feedback I got from that conference.
I got to tell you, I really needed it, too.
I've just been like, a lot of stuff going on, I think
(00:44):
energetically right now where it's like, gosh, there's so
much. It feels a little overwhelming.
And then if you're like me and you're dissociating with a
little doom scrolling, yeah, youcan get into a little doom.
I got to make sure and meditate,sleep enough.
And it is currently, as I recordthis, 1:30 in the morning.
This is just my pattern. I like to stay up late.
(01:07):
All right, The guest I have thisweek.
I'm sorry. I've been a little spotty on my
summer uploads, so I hope that you're hanging in there.
I've been traveling. And then I recorded a couple
episodes in the Ozarks when I went to Branson and then to the
lake cabin where I got to water ski.
And I had a lot of fun. And here's what I got to tell
(01:29):
you. I can have some judgments and
stereotypes about folks in the Ozarks.
That's where I'm from. And I got to remember things
have changed since I lived there, as, I mean, the last time
I lived there actually was the early 80s.
So things have changed. I mean, there's a wide variety
of people there. But anyway, the folks I worked
with at the Branson Comedy Factory were wonderful.
(01:52):
And so my first guest is a gentleman who is a promoter
because he was at the shows, he was laughing big, He was having
a great time. And turns out he's a trauma
survivor times 7. So a lot of content in this
episode deals with some really intense stuff.
(02:13):
Cancer diagnosis, taking a life as an officer, suicidal
ideation. So those are your trigger
warnings for this episode. It's coming to you live from
Branson, MO at the Branson Comedy Factory inside Branson
columns. This is a space.
Woo. Well, that's great for two
(02:35):
people with PTSD. That got us going.
That's all we needed because I felt the energy falling off.
OK, All right. I got to do a little heart show.
Seriously. I mean, that was interesting.
We both had like. That's the ghost.
We got you guys arrived. Oh, there are ghosts in the
theaters, aren't there? We need to.
(02:55):
OK, so I forgot to thank the ghosts.
Give a shout out. And Telena, we got a shout.
Thank everybody. All right, here we go again.
Take two. We're going to try to get even
though we may leave that one in.Woo.
All right. Oh, I forgot.
Yeah, if you want to see a live comedy show with old Nance I, I
(03:18):
I'm looking at my link tree right now.
I need to turn up the brightnessso I can read it because it's on
night mode at 1:30 in the morning.
It's all faded in. Silverthorne, August 7th.
Skagit, Washington, August 9th Louisville, Co August 22nd
Denver, September 5th at the BugTheater.
(03:38):
A bunch of cool, brilliant womenscientists and comedians getting
together Oh yeah in September going up to Rapid City, SD
September 12th, 13 and then backup to Washington September 14th,
1516 with Moms Unhinged, my big event September 19th in Reading,
PA September 20th in Homer, AK at the Alaska World Arts
(04:02):
Festival and then I'm going to do a traumedy workshop September
21st. This is my vision for traumedy.
I just want to say it is my vision to doing this live in
real time. Get a panel of comedians, some
mental health experts around andlet's let's have a comedy show
(04:23):
where we take your pain and playwith it.
All right, enjoy this episode. I'll see you on the other side.
Welcome to Traumedy. My guest this week is coming to
you live. We're here in Branson, MO Back
(04:44):
to my roots in the Ozarks. We're at the Branson Comedy
Factory inside Branson columns. And I just met this man.
He is a cancer survivor, former deputy sheriff and an amazing
promoter. Please welcome Jason Lewis.
Welcome, Jason. Thank you, I appreciate it.
Nice to meet you and be a part of it.
It's so cool. You know, I trust the
(05:06):
synchronicity like I do. You were saying that we just had
a little ghost walkthrough. And I do trust the spirit energy
that guided us together because I just happened to go down the
hallway at the hotel and I saw this man.
I said, that man looks familiar.As I get closer and we start
talking and you said, you said in no uncertain terms that
(05:27):
comedy saved your life. And I said that's why I need to
talk with you. It, no, it really has and I tell
everybody that I meet like I've become an open book over the
years and and I mean that I believe it was you said the
other night, if you make one person laugh, then the night's
worth it. And if I can change somebody's,
somebody's day, life, whatever, with the story that I may have
(05:51):
to help them, then it's it's absolutely worth it.
And also help yourself, like part of the trauma theme is it
called a Co healing? I've just really latched onto
that term because I used to think that oh, I'm a healer, I'm
a nurse, 5th generation nurse. But then I found out really it's
Co healing. Like we raise each other's
frequency by being authentic, sharing our journey.
(06:12):
And here's what helped me. We're not saying we're experts.
We're here to share. Just peer peer sharing.
Here's something that got me through a rough patch.
So thank you for being willing to come on here because it's
vulnerable. It's an honor like it really is.
Like I'm I like to practice whatI've reached.
Yeah, so if I tell. People to open up then I want to
be that I want to be able to open up if I'm telling somebody
(06:33):
to open up so. Yeah, I appreciate it.
Well, when when I ran into you in the hallway, we ended up
having a really nice conversation.
I said please, if you have time.And here we are sitting right
inside the comedy showroom. And it's like, amazing to me.
First thing you shared was that you had stage 4 cancer.
Do you feel like you could drop in and talk about that journey
(06:55):
and how humor maybe helped you through it?
Absolutely. So I am a, I'm a cancer
survivor. I when I was diagnosed at first
it was, I want to say misdiagnosed, but it was missed.
I had some some lower back pain and it kind of got misdiagnosed
for a couple weeks because unfortunately for me it always
(07:16):
happened on the weekend. So we went to the ER like like
people do and it was, I was toldI probably had a urinary tract
infection or something on the lines of bladder infection or
something. So we put me on my antibiotics
at me home. I get better for a couple of
days and then bam, hit me again the the shorter version.
(07:37):
Otherwise we'd be here for two weeks.
Talking about it is I, I, I basically fell over in the
middle of a Walmart in the fetalposition and I had a really good
friend of mine with me and he loaded me up.
Because the pain was so severe and knocked you down, it was
like, it's like a shooting pain through your, like your spine.
And it's just like my lower back.
(07:57):
It really did feel like a kidneylike it that's that's about the
area. It hurt.
And that happened on like a Thursday or something maybe
Friday night and I got to feeling better.
So I thought, well, I'll just wait and Monday I'll make an
appointment with my actual doctors that I and the little
TMI is that me and my my girlfriend decided we were going
to fool around and we started fooling around and she very
(08:21):
lightly touched my body and it hurt like no other.
And the little self examination and I immediately went into Oh
my gosh, freak out moment because I felt like I had Mount
Rushmore on my voice. So.
Really. So it testicular.
Yeah, it was testicular cancer that was.
(08:43):
So the pain that I come to find out now that I know is the pain
you're you're the nerves are attached to your lower back.
So I was the my left testicle was in a bunch of pain.
So I was feeling all the pain inmy lower it.
Refers the pain back here yeah so I did not you know this is
really good for people to know if you start having something
(09:03):
like that like oh make sure and what do you think about you know
doing the testicular like self exams I mean like check check
your boys absolutely after a shower or during or you.
Know look, we're men. You're down there and check
them. At Walmart you got pockets, you
got a little pocket pool, but but so you wow, so you were in
(09:28):
shock. You were like there is there is
definitely a yes, a tumor, yes and how scary.
And that was on. That was a Saturday evening.
I know I remember for a fact it was a Saturday.
So I sat all day all night Saturday, all day Sunday,
freaking out, walking to my doctor's office on Monday
morning. Told him what I found.
(09:50):
He immediately brought me back to the exam room and within a
matter of hours had me in an oncologist appointment, had me
X-rays, we were CAT scans, and went through the the whole
shebang. And I was in surgery, I believe
within three days of my doctor'sappointment.
(10:12):
Wow. Because when they, when they did
do the scans, they, they found out that, yeah, I, I basically,
there was, there was, it was allover head, basically head to toe
and, and Oh my gosh. So I I knock on wood as I beat.
Them. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm not. Going to yeah, I was lucky
enough I didn't lose any of my lymph nodes so that that that
(10:33):
was if there's a positive for just the medical side of things,
I, I was able to keep all that intact.
So that was, but it was like it was absolutely life changing for
me. It it brought me into a from
one, from one point to to a new point and.
How old were you when all this happened?
I think I was 23. Oh, so yeah.
(10:55):
Like 23 I think 2324 maybe? That's so young.
So to have that and, you know, one of my guests, Rick Bryan, a
comedian in in Denver, also had that's one of the first jokes I
ever heard him do. And I think part of his recovery
was being, you know, talking about losing one of his
testicles. And yeah, he has some.
(11:15):
He has some jokes about it. Everybody I know that's been
through it has jokes about it and I, but I've been, I mean,
we've, we've, I mean, that's howobviously it's what you're doing
here. But I think it's how a lot of
people cope and I think it's, it's just, it just works.
I was, I was very lucky. I had a great support group and
(11:36):
I actually worked with a gentleman to this day, his name
almost calling, I'll call him Barton.
He, he was a testicular cancer survivor.
He worked in this with the same department I did.
He went through a few. Years.
Deputy yes. And immediately was was by my
side and and after it's all saidand done or whatever we used to,
(12:01):
we would literally stand together so we could tell each
other we had a pair. That's brilliant.
I love that. What are you?
And this is like, I remember really like in the 90s when I
was doing comedy, somehow I readan article how how those radar
guns that that cops use can cause testicular cancer, that
(12:25):
they set them in their laps sometime.
And I mean, have you ever, did you ever have that a radar gun
in your? Life, so whenever.
I know what caused. It right so well they think mine
was probably from trauma I played I played sports stuff
growing up and had some injuriesgrowing up because I was kind of
a wild little child didn't know how to not fall down so so.
(12:48):
You had some, maybe a rupture. Yeah, they they think our time
comes from West like a construction.
Yeah. So from what?
From what I. I I see guys at home going.
Yeah, right. Yeah.
Because I guess every guy has had the.
You're going to cringe. But so maybe a post injury that
caused something to go awry, they don't know.
(13:10):
Yeah. Now I will say like now the
everything that I remember, first of all, I'm 49 now.
So it's this has been a long time ago.
Wow, look how long you've. Been in remission and you said
you get yourself checked every. Year Yep every once a year I go
in I get all my blood work done and and knock on some more wood
everything so far has has checked out so yeah I.
(13:32):
Don't know if that's wood, but Ithink it is.
It's got something. We're going to call it wood.
So but yeah, so it's, it's been a it's been a journey.
And that's the, that was kind ofthe start of it, but.
And all along I'm just knowing you, like you just love laughing
and you that I know that helped you, you know, and I've said
this on here before, but I'm going to say it again because I
(13:53):
think it's worthy of repeating is when you laugh or when you
get a joke, you actually lower stress hormones and raise your
NK cells, your immune response, natural killer cells, NK cells,
scanning your body for cancer cells, anomalies, viruses.
It helps us stay well to laugh and it get, you know, keeps you
well. So keep doing whatever it is.
(14:14):
And then you do promotion for cannabis.
So I was wondering, and I don't know if you're a pot smoker or
if that's a comfortable, well, it's legal, so you don't have to
be in the closet about it. But I mean, a lot of people
giggle when they smoke pot. I do, I can't smoke pot very
often because I feel so silly. Like I, I'm annoyingly like I
talk even more and I I just laughed so crazily.
(14:36):
So I'm, I'm not, I'm not a massive consumer, but I do
partake occasionally. Honestly, I stay so busy with
with the promotions that you don't you don't have time you.
Don't have time to? Partake, I say so busy, but I, I
that aspect of my life like it's, you know, kind of circling
back a little bit is that we kind of talked before this
(14:59):
started like it's probably been in the last 10 years where I've
really kind of come out of my shell as far as being out very
out like an outgoing person outside of my like local friends
group. But, but I, I kind of, I guess
probably about the same time I just started making the, the,
the change to, to like make other people laugh or, or, or
(15:21):
just be engaged because I, I seethe stress in the, in the, the,
the drama, the trauma that goes through everybody's life.
I, I've done law enforcement, I've done, I drove a truck for
12 years. I got into beer sales and then I
was a bartender. So like I.
(15:44):
You've done a lot of like peopleservice, yeah, service industry.
And then also you were saying back in the hallway, yeah, how
it, and I think you alluded to it a minute ago, is that it
changed your whole life trajectory, like having cancer.
And I was saying like, I have some friends who are cancer
survivors and it's like an exponential growth, almost like
(16:05):
2 lifetimes in one. So it's like the precancer
personality and maybe the empathy.
Like now you have such a more Does life feel more sacred or is
there something more tender? I think with me it to to be kind
of raw is is growing up. I I grew up with kind of a chip
on my shoulder. I was, we grew up, we grew up
(16:26):
poor. I grew up around not such a
great lifestyle. There was drugs that were
prevalent in the house and, and I wasn't, I wasn't real happy
growing up. And I kind of made a decision
to, to go into law enforcement and to kind of just break away
from that, try to be the change that I wanted.
(16:47):
But in the process, being a little older now, like I, I was
not healed. I was not in I was not in a good
spot and I was just an angry person.
You most people, most people that know me now would have
would have never thought that I was the guy I was back then.
I you did not want to be around me.
I was I was for the better like words.
I was an asshole. I mean, I just was there's.
(17:10):
You probably had a lot of reactive trauma.
Anger is a secondary emotion after being afraid or being sad
severely said so like a sad kid,you know, if didn't get your
needs met and also had parents that were irresponsible, not
able to be parenting you, you get the parent yourself.
Kind of that is valid. I mean, anyway, I just want to
say your feelings are valid. And to all the assholes out
(17:32):
there, there's a reason. There's a reason you're an
asshole. Like I do have compassion.
Most of us, most of us. I mean, I really do.
It's like I try to have compassion for myself when I've
gone off or like I just points to where I need to heal a little
more. But so so do you feel like now
you've healed some of that? Or I think I feel some of it.
I mean, if I'm being completely honest and I try to be, is that
(17:52):
there, There's still moments andI, I, I try to be better at
recognizing those moments Now, you know, I, I try to recognize
them and I don't. My problem is, and it's kind of
circling back to, I think it involves my childhood is I don't
communicate well at all. I don't like with me and you and
a stranger. I communicate people I'm super
(18:13):
super close with. Like I try to compartmentalize.
Yeah, compartment. Yeah, compartmentalize.
It takes a lot to put up with meand I know this and I know this,
but you know, but I really was like I.
Was I don't know, man, when people say that, you know what I
mean, when somebody like, I always feel like it's the people
that don't think they're a lot that are a lot and the people
that think they're a lot. I mean, you probably are like I
(18:35):
know you're, you know, you've got a lot going on, your
intense, you know you, but as authentic as you are, I've got
to think that that's a huge value.
Like I don't know. Anyway, I don't want to.
I think you were talking about rage and if you've healed stuff,
but how do you feel that you no,but do you feel like, is that
where some of the stuff still comes out as in those intimate
(18:56):
relationships? Yes, and I think that I and I
think that, and I think a lot ofus if, if you're, if we're being
honest, it's easier to sit from the outside and see issues that,
you know, you can recognize it. Like I have some very good
friends of mine that I know theygo through stuff and I can see
it and I don't speak up and I feel like, and then I feel bad
because I'm like, I know I should have said something to
(19:18):
you now that they're doing anything wrong.
But like, I know I can tell by the way they're treating their
loved ones. And, and, and you know, your
home is, is, is your safe place,you know, and you know, that's
where in that's where you get away a lot more there because
you it is your safe place. And you can see the way that
people treat their loved ones and you know, they're not that
person and they're they're not like that all the time.
(19:40):
And then and you know. But stuffs up for.
Them but you but yeah, and and and you just we people need to
talk more that's and then comingfor somebody who doesn't
communicate well, but we need totalk.
So you're working on that. You're working on taking a
breath and saying the thing thatyou don't want to say, which is
I'm feeling a lot of, I feel forme, I needed to learn how and
(20:01):
I'm not in it. I do not have a significant
other and I'm not sure I'll everhave one again.
I don't know if there's enough time for me to heal this
lifetime, but I because I do feel like I don't want to
project out, you know, self hateor shame or fear, but I do like
you. I have a son and we, I mean, I
have to make amends to him quiteoften.
(20:22):
Like I'm like that dude, that was not about you.
And I apologize like there's a. Activity sometimes where I don't
come from the highest place thatI want to come from.
So I'm working on saying Ouch orI feel scared.
That makes me feel, you know, like trying to say that the
feeling that is usually hidden behind the anger, which is fear,
(20:42):
fear, fear. And what is the other one?
Sadness. I feel sad.
I feel sad and a lot of it terrified of abandonment is like
something. I say a lot and I absolutely
understand that I've destroyed alot of relationships and not
necessarily because I've done something wrong, but I've gotten
into relationships where you think it's going to work and and
(21:05):
maybe the other person wants to make it work.
But in all reality, it would have, it should have worked.
We should have been together, but it's it's you said a while
ago it's codependency and it's at the time it's going to, you
know, it, it's something you jump into and then, you know,
you let yeah, you let somebody take advantage of you and then
you just, well, it's I can I just, you know, abandonment.
(21:27):
You're scared you're just going to do and then.
You do self abandonment, which is the worst because it's like,
oh, I got to be this way for this person and I have a sense
of humor. Yes.
See, I think if somebody has a sense of humor, I just have yet
to have a partner that I felt like matched.
Like I know they're not going tobe exactly the same, but just
that somebody wants to laugh, has a sense of humor.
(21:47):
That's such a big plus. It's so great that you're so
easy to laugh, especially all that you've been through with
the cancer. And then you're sharing like
before we started recording in law enforcement and you know,
you've you've had some really intense times.
Do you, do you feel like like wewere, we were saying you listen
to Vinny Montes and how you started seeing his stuff back
when vines were a thing and thatit helped you to laugh, but also
(22:12):
he would do some deeper dives about the trauma.
Right. So I've been being with a law
enforcement background. That's I, that's all I knew back
in that time. That's all I concentrated on
was, was law enforcement relationship.
Was I, I kind of abandoned relationships with, with my kid,
my daughter, even even with the relationships with, with her mom
(22:34):
and at the time and, and everything like it just
everything was all about law enforcement because that's what
I, what I knew. So whenever, yeah, whenever
vines hit and then, you know, and then YouTube start blowing
up and I started seeing if Vinnie was one of the first
ones, Mike and and Officer Daniels.
And also it was it all started out funnier than every now and
again they throw in a little of that dark humor and I was like,
(22:55):
Hey, this is OK, you know, because I mean, it was something
you didn't normally get involvedwith or see.
So, and it was kind of like, huh, this is all right, so we
can talk because we all make those jokes behind closed doors
amongst like your, your, you know, the handful of friends
that you go out with or that youtrust, but never out in the
(23:16):
open. So I was like, it was, it was
kind of, it was refreshing. And it was almost like a wait
like, all right, so we're not alone.
Like everybody, you know, kind of thinks this and it's, it's
it's OK. But yeah.
Yeah, it normalizes it. It's like I'm not the only one.
I'm not alone with this. I'm, you know, because you, I
think also, like I said, I got written up in nursing school for
(23:36):
some of the dark humor that I used.
And then I found out, like, actually it's really helpful to
express that vicarious trauma soit doesn't get stuck in your
body. I know.
Again, I'm a broken record on that.
That's what Trauma D is all about.
But so it helped you and then you and so you were saying like
you had some experiences. Not only did you have to is OK
(23:58):
to say, yeah, take a life. You had to take a life.
Wow. And then you also got shot.
So you've been on both ends of that which?
And I and I giggle. So if anybody heard me giggle
whenever the whole get shot, there's a whole story behind
that that I hope we have. We'll share and I promise you.
OK, trigger warning. No pun intended, but trigger
(24:18):
warning. But if I can laugh about it, you
can laugh. About it, Yeah, OK.
No, the the. So to kind of come forth full
circle, the, the knowing me before I got into before I had
cancer, like I was, I was an absolute jerk.
And then I'm going to give him ashout out because my sheriff of
the time, Gary Stulzer, and he made a comment when I went up to
(24:42):
go to move from the jail, which was currently working to the
road division, asked me. He's like, how did you go for
being the guy that nobody wantedto work with, that everybody was
kind of scared to say anything around with whether coworkers or
inmates? Wow, it's.
Hard to imagine. To being the guy that everybody
rallied around and, and I say this and I told you just too
(25:04):
late, cancer, like cancer was the absolute best thing that
happened to me. Because almost almost truly
dying and putting that thought in your head is, is completely
different than wanting to die, which is where I was at, if I'm
being completely honest. And then so you go from, Hey, I
want to die. I wanted to, you know, and there
(25:24):
was there was, there was suicidal thoughts in there to,
Oh my God, I might die. Holy crap, That's when you.
That's when you actually found your.
Life force, Yeah. And so and I just wanted to
live. And it really was like.
And I had people around me that that gave me a support group.
They donated. They donated their sick time to
(25:45):
me so I wouldn't lose my insurance.
So I'm going to get emotional. But and it was everybody.
It wasn't just, it wasn't just Co workers inside like like
other deputies or, or correctional officers that
worked inside our, our, our county jail.
It was cooks. It was, it was the nurses that
(26:05):
it was, it was admin staff. I mean, everybody rally around
me and my whole outlook and my whole demeanor like just
changed. It was it was the best thing
that ever happened. That's amazing if.
I'm so it was. That's a such an outpouring of
love for you. It was.
Did it just change your heart? Absolutely 1,000,000% And, and
(26:27):
I, you know, there's, like I said, you still carry, I, I
still to this day carry, you know, the, the, the, the, the
trauma from, you know, from the growing up and the things.
But you know, I do have to tell myself to sit back every now and
again and go, Hey, look at whereyou've been, look at what
(26:47):
happened to you and you know, and, and look at, look at where
you're going. Because I, I'm tracking where I
found my niche. You know, I think we're like,
I've always been a people personand I'm happy to be back working
like with people. Not, not necessarily being, you
know, I'm not, I'm not writing tickets anymore.
I'm giving away tickets. But but more on an equal
(27:07):
footing. Yeah, so it but to to to kind of
wrap back around is that Yeah, so, so he he asked me that and I
said to everybody like the best thing I have at me was, was
cancer. And then I went through the
cancer scare and then I have sleep apnea.
So and I, we, we haven't even talked about this yet.
(27:28):
So I had, I'm going to throw this on.
Yeah, we had sleep. I had sleep apnea.
We, I don't know if you do or not.
So I had sleep apnea and I had, I had surgery done where they
took out my tonsils and adenoidsbecause I couldn't sleep with
the mask. It actually made it lots worse.
If I have a phobia, anything around my neck like drives me
crazy. So they did, I did a surgery.
(27:50):
I had the surgery, had my tonsils and adenoids removed.
So about two weeks after I had the surgery, they let me go back
to work light duty. So I sat in what we called the
control tower. It's real quick.
So it's probably a 25 by 25 roomand there's like a little spiral
staircase of the bathroom down below it.
And then you were you're basically locked in there by
electronic locks in the in the jail.
(28:10):
So that was my that was my gig are.
You all alone in there. So, yeah, so everybody, I mean
you. So the CE OS and deputies would
come up, but they were serving lunch.
They were serving lunch and theyall walked back out of the, the
block area is what we'll call it, down to the kitchen area.
(28:30):
And so everybody's in the kitchen.
There was like, I think four or five on duty at that time.
And I felt this really warm sensation in the back of my
throat and started and started feeling like I was choking and I
the incision in my throat had come open.
Oh no. And so all I could do was
(28:51):
bleeding out was basically hollow for help unlock the doors
to the hallway into the control room for help to come to me, ran
down the spiral staircase and immediately started bleeding out
into a trash can. Long story short is I wound up I
wound up across the street. Luckily the hospitals just
across the street and I lost thelittle let me think about this
(29:18):
either just under or just over half my blood supply to the
point where they couldn't fly me.
I was not stable enough to fly. They landed, they brought a
helicopter in for me landed a helicopter kept it on the ground
and the nurse to flight nurse God lover and I wish to just I
cannot remember her name. I'll never get her face, but I
her name escapes me. She told me she's like, you're
going to be all right, you know,And I'm now I'm leaning over 55
(29:40):
gallon, the trash can just bleeding out.
And she says you're going to be all right.
We're going to stay on the ground so we can get you ready.
And I remember spitting blood and looking at her and telling
her like, I've, I've, I've been around this long enough to know
if you had a helicopter waiting for somebody, they're not all
right. Yeah, yeah.
There's some signs. There's some signs there.
They got that fight the flight for life I believe it's called.
(30:01):
So, yeah, so luckily they did get, they finally got some IV
started in me, got my, got, got,got, got the fluids in me.
And obviously they they got me cauterized.
And they didn't have units of blood.
There and well, they had to get this, the bleeding stop first.
Yeah, because otherwise. I, the doctor that came in was
actually on a black tie event and once again I, I, I'm drawn a
(30:25):
blank on names right now. I'm a fantastic man.
He also did some of the cancer work with me and so.
He came in in a tuxedo. He did.
He was on, he was coming to a black tie affair.
Him and his nurse both like evening gown, tuxedo and to the
point where I was told I don't remember how to be honest
because I was in and out of consciousness.
I was told they didn't even havereally time to properly scrub in
(30:46):
that I wound up throwing blood all over his like God knows how
much. Like truly owned tuxedo.
I wish I could. I wish there was a picture of
that. So I don't know why.
I know that's kind of morbid, but I was like.
Friday night at Freddy's or something.
It was, it was crazy. Wow.
So that's dedication. That's that's how, yeah.
So so that happens and they and I saw I cheat death there.
(31:10):
I'm like a cat with 9 lives and I'm on like life 10.
So Fast forward to just to warn everybody like this is this is
kind of a dark, dark spot. OK, trigger warning.
This is this is in 2000. In 2006, I was involved in a a
call through law enforcement through a department that I went
(31:32):
to. I changed departments and not to
go into great detail domestic, Ilocated the suspect.
He had a knife. I spent a lot of time discussing
life with him. He was in a dark spot and
unfortunately things changed. There was a threat to me.
(31:57):
I reacted accordingly. I just started right now.
It's like there was there was noever any charges.
I was always cleared. But a young man lost his life.
I took that life, put me in a very, a very dark place, very
dark hole for a very long time. The department I work for sent
me to a couple weeks of therapy.I was already signed up to leave
(32:21):
that department. I already had a job offer and a
job at another department beforethis ever happened.
So as soon as my, my, my, basically I felt like once my
two weeks is up, they just kind of dumped me.
So they don't my therapy, they don't everything.
And it was like, hey, here you go, go on your own.
And I didn't know any better at the time.
I didn't really tell anybody. There were definitely signs
(32:42):
people around me knew. They, they gave me all the
support that they knew to give me, but it was, it was very,
very ugly to the point where suicide was, was a very
realistic thought. I got into law enforcement to
save lives, not take lives. That's all I like.
That's all I can think of. Yeah, when you think of the name
peace officer, I'm trying to serve the community.
(33:04):
So when we think. OK, go ahead.
No, no, you're good. When I when I think about law
enforcement and people love to hate cops right now and it's
sort of like we don't realize like like we don't realize like
that's the worst thing that can happen.
Like you'd rather take a bullet than send one in a weird.
Is that true? Absolutely.
I mean, I know you've done both you have you can speak from
(33:25):
experience, but that was much harder for you.
Yes. And it took such a toll and
probably still. Does it?
Does I, I, I, I tried to talk topeople, especially those in law
enforcement. I have been involved where I've,
I've personally known people whohave been involved in shootings
and I've had an opportunity to sit down with them and kind of
decompress with them. And it's, it's therapeutic for,
(33:47):
for, for me. And I know it helps them because
I didn't have. I have people who tried, but
there was nobody in my medium circle that had been through an
actual. You need someone that knows
like, and I'm sure there's booksout there now that say here's
the cycle you're going to go through or like are is there an,
you know, like just like, well, they say like with cancer,
there's these stages of grief ortheir state.
You don't know, there's not a resource that you know of.
(34:09):
It's just. Personal experience.
Personal experience. I, I, I don't.
I'm sure there is. Yeah, I'm sure there is.
And the only other thing too is I'm going to give, I'm going to
call her out by name. But I was working with a girl
named and I don't think, you know, I got a lot of, I did get,
you know, a lot of the attentionthat that they did have.
But she was also very new to thejob.
(34:29):
She was a rookie and she was there to back me up.
And she was, she was involved. She didn't pull her, but she was
involved. So she went through, you know,
she went through a lot of the same stuff I was going through.
So, you know, we kind of helped each other as much as we could,
but it was a very, it was ugly. It was just, there was no other
way to say it was just a very ugly time.
Was it? You know, and I felt I, you
(34:50):
know, I felt very bad for the family.
I felt very bad for myself. And, you know, and then all my I
have friends and family that, you know, it got it got ugly.
And I had been, you know, I kindof, I, I, I have to leave it at
that. I don't want to go into
particulars, but I mean, it did,it got ugly for everybody
(35:12):
involved and emotions gotten involved and it was just a very
ugly time. And I've become, I don't want
comfortable is not the right word.
Like I've become more open aboutit just because I do think that
there is a there, there's a healing process for me.
And over the last probably aboutthe last maybe 10 years, I've
(35:35):
I've kind of been able to talk about it a little more, a little
more without reliving it becauseI'm 10, probably 12 years ago, I
wouldn't be able to tell you a story without having a complete
mental breakdown. Oh, wow.
So it's it's. Thank you for.
Yeah, thank you for. Doing this because I I know,
like I say, one of the other things when I talk about Co
healing, but also I want people to know they're not alone, Like
(35:55):
there's somebody, you know, somebody will hear it.
That is like, oh man, I've been this is this guy.
I get this. Like I'm not the only guy that's
gone through something like this.
And obviously it gets better andI don't know if there's any
humor, but maybe not with this one.
I don't know. But no with that one, no.
So this is going to sound reallyweird.
Getting the getting shot part iswhere the humor comes.
(36:17):
From which is odd. To say.
Or maybe it feels like karmic, like it cleanse some of your
karma maybe? Like about just after a year
after the the officer involved shooting where where the life
was taken. I was involved in a in a high.
I was there was a pursuit. It's a high tense situation.
(36:38):
At one point my gum, my gum was out and and it was reholstered
and there was a scuffle and my gun in my holster went off and
shot me through the top of my leg, traveled through the top of
my quad, severed everything it did, it missed.
(37:00):
It missed the bone, the femur, and then it missed the artery.
By just, I mean just centimeters, like literally with
centimeters of of probably not being here out of blood out.
There's no doubt in my mind. Yeah.
So if you're keeping track, I think it's like 6 or 7, I don't
know, something like that. But it's, I really, it's so like
I sat in this ditch bleeding outand but my first thought was
(37:25):
because I left, I left somebody in the vehicle to help take down
the suspect. And then I had two, two other
deputies with me, both my supervisors.
I had a captain and a Sergeant with me.
And my first thought was, and I told her I like the way the
human brain works is amazing to me because it's my first.
I was. I just got one of my friends
shot because I heard the gun butI didn't realize it was me.
(37:48):
OK. So I look up because one's in
front of me and he seems to be OK.
He's looking at me and then I went to look at the one behind
me. I put weight on my leg and I
rolled over and then immediatelylike I rolled over and my
thought might in my head, I swear to you, this day was oh
shit, it was me. And then then I went into kind
of a bit of a panic mode. And then I'll, but then it's
(38:09):
like you, you, your training kicks in or instinct kicks in
and you, your brain recalls all these things that you don't
realize you remember. So I had a very complicated
watch on like watch band at the time.
It's used a lot today actually got the same band on that they
are saying kind of class today, but it was a very new watch and
(38:31):
it's a very love watch by me. And when the ambulance showed
up, they were going to cut it off me because I could figure
out how to get to class, but done.
And I told her I said what? No, I'll take care of that.
So like I still have my motor functions and like, and I was
trying to keep myself calm and, and which you know, and I'm, I'm
not a real smart man, but I'm smart enough to know that I know
(38:53):
there's a massive blood vessel that runs right next to your
leg, right? That's right, the femoral
artery. I couldn't move my leg.
I figured it was severed. I figured I was done.
I really did Like I was. I was, I was.
I was making plans in my mind that this is this is it like
you, you've done cooked yourself.
It's over so but. You save that.
Watch. But yeah, save the watch.
(39:14):
None of my watch. None of my watch.
Oh no. What was that I was thinking?
I didn't know if there was a Barney Five thing that was going
to happen. I mean, because it was always
kind of. Shit, So it was the funny part
was that everybody said no, no, you're good.
It's funny and it is a Barney 5 moment because everybody that,
that at first everybody was like, so you shot yourself.
(39:37):
And I mean, to be honest with you, at first I was kind of
like, F you. No.
And I was like, well, kinda like, yeah, it was yeah.
I mean, but now, so now I reallydo laugh about it.
And the great thing is, is I know we're on.
You can't see this. There's a tattoo on my shoulder.
OK, I'll take a picture of it. That says, and it's a little
faded, but bear with me, OK? It's got the date, it's cut a
(40:01):
Superman tattoo or a Superman emblem with a bullet hole on it.
And the saying on it is not quite bulletproof.
Because that's hilarious. They, they, everybody used to
tell me that I'm not Superman. You can't save everybody.
You got to eventually slow down.And I got taught my lesson.
So I'm not bulletproof. I am not Superman.
So and and so you just got to got to roll.
(40:23):
It and that's an ongoing like, like reminder, especially in the
mirror, you see that and you're like, OK, remember you can't do
everything. And I'm not quite bulletproof.
And it's it's such a great like the fact that you could take a
lighter perspective and you know, sorry, I brought up the
Barney five thing, but as soon as you said that, I was like,
oh, I do. I was like, don't say it because
that it was like we were whatever the Joey who was here
(40:47):
last night doing Otis Campbell. Impressions.
I was like, I Andy Griffith was a huge part of my life.
But yeah, man, you got to have self forgiveness.
You got to like, I mean, the universe keeps giving us these
opportunities. Like everybody says, God has a
sense of humor, but I'm asking God, can I please learn from
delight rather than suffering? Now you know, because it's
(41:07):
enough of that. You don't have to do.
You don't need to be like the cat and have nine.
You don't need three more. No, I'm good.
OK, you're good, right? You're good.
Let's just let's just call that good.
We've got, we got the message. So I have friends that are law
enforcement, military and we're,it's, it's a, you know, first
responders military. They're close knit group of
(41:30):
people and and I tell everybody all the time like if you, if you
reach out to me, if I'm as long as I'm available and I see the
message, I will be more than happy to give you somebody to
talk to you so. That's amazing.
Well, how can people reach you? So I am.
So if they if they reach out on Facebook, it's Jason Lewis.
I'm. LO.
Lu Yeah. Louis OK.
(41:51):
Jason Lewis, not like Jerry. Not Jerry.
And you'll, you'll see me and ifI could, I'd like, I mean this.
So the company I work for now isa cannabis company is a Stairway
Cannabis out of Branson. And it's got a just big flowery
cyber truck on my profile that you can't miss.
So if you see the cyber truck, you found me.
With the cannabis wrap, there's not going to be and you're in
(42:11):
Branson, you're not going to miss, there's not going to be
another cyber truck with the cannabis.
I got to tell you when I walked up today because, you know, I
was raised here and it's like I said, I live in Boulder, Co now
and little alternative lifestyles, you know, pansexual,
vegan. It's like not I was, I was sort
of like, OK, I have to, I feel like I have to be a little in
(42:31):
the closet. But and not that it matters,
like I said, I'm a barely sexualat this age.
Nobody cares. Nobody cares, nobody cares.
But I was just going to say whenI saw the cannabis truck in
front, I was like, OK, I think we're going to be all right.
You know what I mean? Like Branson has shifted.
There's a you have a huge globe and you have a cannabis truck
and what? Else do you want what I love
about? Yeah.
And what I love about doing these shows and it's.
(42:53):
And I got to be honest, it's been a little challenging
because it's like trying to get everybody on one page and it's
like all different ages, people from different backgrounds,
people from, you know, all different parts of the country
and Branson. And it's, but I think it's
really cool because I think whatthis club is doing is bringing
people together from all walks of life.
And thank you, Jason. Thank you so much.
Thank you and I'll put a link. Thank you.
(43:14):
I'll try not to step on what you're saying.
No, you're good. You say it again.
Thank you, Jason. Thank you.
And I will put a link in the show notes to your Facebook page
if anybody wants to reach out. And, you know, it could be a
positive thing too. They don't have to just reach
out in the crisis, but that you're open to talking to
somebody. All right, Well, thank you.
That's a big gift, Big gift to me and a big gift to our list.
(43:35):
Appreciate it, been a pleasure. I want to thank my guest Jason
Lewis and reach out to him on Facebook.
I put some links in the show notes for Jason's Facebook.
My website also put a link in the show notes for Cop Line.
There's some other resources I found online for officers going
(43:58):
through mental health difficulties.
So don't isolate with that. Make sure you talk to somebody.
Don't try to be stoic. PTSD, you can't muscle yourself
through it, trust me. Get some trauma therapy.
You'll be so glad you did. Sending lots of love to
everybody. Thanks for listening.
And remember, no matter what, keep laughing.
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