July 29, 2025 • 53 mins
S3 E25 - Will C - Combat to Comedy - is one of the most inspiring episodes yet. Military trauma on top of childhood trauma on top of healthcare trauma and more! and yet not only does Will refuse to quit, he turned his traumas into insights, gifts and gives back to others who need him. If you're struggling something, take a listen to Will's powerful stories of resilience.
Reach out to Nancy Norton:
Reach out to Will C.
https://theveteransofcomedy.com/
Watch Will's Dry Bar Special:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S0tNAxwA3mQ&t=20s
Learn about Dercum's Disease
Veterans Crisis Line:
https://www.veteranscrisisline.net/
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:04):
You're listening to Traumedy, the podcast that helps you take
your pain and play with it. I'm Nancy Norton.
I am a comedian, former nurse, and a keynote speaker about the
power of humor. And this episode was recorded in
Branson at the Branson Comedy Factory.
And it's recorded on my laptop. So the quality is a little
(00:28):
ambient. I would say there's a little bit
of background noise, people coming in and out of the comedy
club getting it ready for the show.
So just know there might be a little bit of artifact sounds.
And it's worth it because this guest has been through the
ringer and I I can't believe. I cannot believe what a survivor
(00:54):
refuses to quit and also has figured out how to thrive.
And I'm like, OK, all this trauma and all these things and
the abuse that you've taken from, you know, even when I was
a kid, having things done to a child that shouldn't be
happening, I take all these things through these foster
homes and the people that hurt me and even the people that
adopted me and hurt me, I'm like, you can't beat me.
(01:15):
You cannot destroy me. I'm not going to be an ostrich.
I'm not sticking my head in the ground.
I'm here, and as long as my voice works, I'm here.
This guy is incredible. This episode blows my mind.
I mean, it definitely puts a lotof my stuff in perspective,
which is helpful. Like, OK, listen, if this guy
(01:36):
can get through it, I can get through it.
So that's what I really hope youtake away from this episode.
And one of the most kind of understated storytellers, very
soft spoken, but maybe that's the way it is.
When you have some really intense trauma, you kind of you
kind of try to keep keep calm. Please share traumedy with a
friend who may need to know theyare not alone.
(01:59):
So here we go. Hey, I want to let you know.
Oh, yes. If you want to come to a comedy
show with old Nance, please go on my website, nancynorton.tv.
Click on the upcoming shows. Have we launched my store yet?
If you go to my link tree, NancyNorton link tree, there is a
store there. My crybaby badass shirts are
(02:23):
online. So if you want to get a crybaby
badass luminary shirt, you know,if you haven't heard the story,
it's just thank you psychedelic trauma therapy because I had to
grieve, cry, cry, cry, and then see myself in the mirror.
What luminary. And every now and then badass.
(02:45):
And you can, too. All right, enjoy this episode.
I'll see you on the other side. Welcome to Tromedy, My guest
this week coming to you live from Branson Comedy Factory
inside Branson Columns. We're going to this, the Ozark
version of Tromedy. My guest is an actor.
(03:06):
He's a writer. He's a comedian.
He has served in three branches of the military and is a
celebrity auctioneer. Please welcome.
We'll see. Yeah.
Thank you for having me, Nancy. It's really it is.
It's an honor to be here. Thank you.
Also, you're an adoptee. I am.
And that's one of the things that's where we started bonding
a little bit because you must have seen my bio.
(03:27):
I saw that you had adopted your son and I reason season
lifetime. I'm a firm believer in that,
Nancy. So people come to your life for
a reason. They stay for a season, they may
stay for a lifetime those. And so when I was reading your
profile and your bio and, and itstruck me that the way I took
and the way I read your bio, it's like the the love was
already there before we even laid eyes on this.
(03:48):
For sure and. That that touched my I'm like, I
need to, I have to speak to thislady.
I have to speak to her. So, and because your journey was
different, you know, and you came up in a foster system and
your parents that adopted you, and I don't know about the
parents who relinquished you or lost you, but I mean, you had a
different experience than my sonwho was in an orphanage.
(04:08):
Well, you were in an orphanage. I was, so I'll give you the
condensed version. I just had a really young mother
that had my sister to very youngage.
She's two years older than me. Then I came along two years
later. Just a scenario of being young.
I think her parents kicked her out and now she's on her own.
She married the guy, but then heended up with a lady across the
(04:30):
street. I end up with a half brother.
I'm three days older than now. My mom is basically 17 years old
with two kids, no high school education.
The man she thought whatever he leaves her she lost it mentally
she lost it and she walked out of her where we lived, locked
the door and left me and my sister to die.
Her every intention was to get her life back and live her
(04:53):
teenage rest of her teenage years and not have two kids.
The babysitter after two weeks called the police trying to
figure out where we were. KCPD busted the door open.
They did a whole new thing on it, found me and my sister.
I was six months old. My sister was 2 1/2.
My sister had wrapped me in a newspaper for a diaper.
(05:13):
It's the best she could do it. 21/2 had to be surgically removed
for me because it was embedded with you know, and how.
Long you're there two weeks. Two weeks my sister at 2 1/2.
Anything she could reach is whatshe did.
She chewed up cat food and spit in my mouth.
She She stuck toilet water and spit in my mouth and kept me
alive. When they finally found us, I.
(05:33):
I was dehydrated, I had lice andscabies and barely alive.
I was rushed to the Children's Hospital in Kansas City.
I I stayed there for six months,never thought that I would live,
but I did my sister got put intoan orphanage, finally reunited
with my sister, but we. If people could see my face
(05:54):
right now, I'm just, I'm blown away.
I mean, some of the stuff you'vealready told me has blown my
mind. Like wow, I had no idea you went
through all of. That so we bumped foster homes
and foster care and the orphanage system for basically
from 19701976, finally adopted the people that came.
(06:16):
That's six years. You said 1970.
You talk so fast and I want to just.
Make sure I. Don't know.
It's good that you're I like talking fast, but I also want to
make sure I understood you set from 70 to 76.
You were in the foster system, in and out of.
Foster homes and orphanages, yougo where they thought that maybe
a families would come. They dress you up and show you
like pound puppies and hopefullysomebody pick you up and pet you
(06:38):
and play with you. But God, I think we came with a
lot of baggage and we do, I mean, there's a lot, there is
emotional trauma there. We finally the the family that
came to adopt, they wanted a they already had a son.
They wanted a daughter and look like the perfect family.
But at that time, my sister's like, I'm not going anywhere
(06:58):
without my brother. So we get adopted kind of kind
of poor little rednecky kind of out in the country outside of
Kansas City, MO. My mom worked for TWA, my dad
drove gasoline around to farmersfor United Co-op and we farmed
and kind of that lifestyle. And so I come from being born in
(07:18):
the city to, you know, now I'm, I'm in this, you know, this
country lifestyle and. And also still not getting your
emotional need. Not only you're not getting your
emotional needs met, you're getting kind of kicked your
your. Well, then you realize these
people that. Adopted.
They didn't really want you, didn't feel wanted because.
From the get go I would and here, you know, left-handed and
I don't know somewhere around convinced my father that
(07:40):
left-handed people might be a little and they are, you know, I
hate that word, but you know, mydad used it.
They might be a little retarded honestly.
And so I was made to sit on my left hand.
I had to learn how to write withmy right.
That's that is that they actually thought that.
I mean, back in the medieval times they thought it was evil.
So I don't. Know you know, you know how they
built the the Spires of the castles going so that a guy
(08:02):
would have to attack a castle using his left hand because
nobody was allowed to use the left hand as a sword swordsman.
I don't know what my dad was. Actually it's like you're left
and right brained which means you are very analytical but
you're also very creative usually is what that means.
That's why a lot of good engineers are that way.
And problem. You're a problem dude.
You're obviously you're very smart so you're ashamed for your
(08:24):
left handedness as well on top of everything else.
I'm sorry I interrupted, but notjust upset me.
You know, just a kind of a weirdupbringing, I think, because not
not but not really wanted, so not really loved.
And it always trying to prove something because the son they
had epilepsy and medical problems and and so here's this
(08:45):
kid. I'm like, but I'm, I'm chubby,
you know, I've got a lazy eye. Oh, I didn't know you also had a
lazy. Eye, I don't see or Yeah, so I
but I was pushed into sports. I got put on a wrestling mat as
soon as I got adopted, but I wasbullied.
I was picked on a lot. Everything I do had to be the
best. So as a chubby kid, if I played
baseball, I either had to hit a home run or I struck out.
(09:07):
There's no in between because I'm too fat to run the bases.
You're going to tag me out. So I'm going for the fence on
everything. And so there's this failure.
But wrestling for me was that's a one man sport.
I it's just I had to figure out me and so that was a good sport
for me, but I still had kids in the neighborhood that bullied me
because of the glass is being adopted.
You know, they always had the jokes.
You know, it was like, knock, knock, who's there?
Not your family. You know, I'd get all that kind
(09:28):
of just me and me and kids and Igot, I got bullied a lot.
And so my dad, they put me in martial arts.
I got put into Taekwondo when I was 8.
And then I just between the wrestling and, and football and
baseball and the things I played, I, you know, I just,
that was my, my life. It became your identity.
It did. And did it give you a sense of
confidence at at some point or did?
I always felt like I was failingmy father because he's never
(09:50):
they've been has never told me he loved me, neither one of.
Them to this day. No, to this day the closest
thing I I really get is like if my dad would and my mom went to
a movie and they saw me and you know, I get a phone call.
Yeah, you're in movies, you're an accomplished comedian, and
then you've served 3 branches ofthe military and they still
aren't. Like we are so proud of you.
(10:10):
And you know the the to create. You know, it's like I I'm trying
not to run bits by you because Idon't want this.
Interview. Oh, no.
But actually we do want to talk about the Go ahead.
So, so, but true story, I joinedthe military when I was 17.
I just needed to get out. I wanted to leave the small
town. My parents signed me into the
Air Force. I was 17 years old and I went
off my summer before my senior year.
(10:30):
I went to basic training. And so, you know, it's like I
thought my dad would show up andthat was going to be the I'm
proud of you moment, you know, you know, I always told my Dad's
Army picture in the hallway, butmy dad never talked about my
dad's Korean vet and he just I guess just don't talk about it.
So we never really mentioned themilitary, but I thought, here we
are at the airport and it's going to be that I love you.
You know, my dad's like, well, you better not screw up way
(10:51):
because me and your mom are knocked the wall between your
room and our room. They're going to make one big
bedroom. So you don't really have a
bedroom to come home to. I thought I was joking.
I came home and leaving. I'm there's, my room's gone.
You have no, there's no room in the end.
So I wake up spooning with my parents.
Whatever I. There you go.
I love that you're going to dropin with your bids 'cause that's
what traumedy is. It's like how do you take that
(11:12):
pain and turn it into something you know?
And there you go. You know, it's, it's crazy
because I noticed throughout my life, because being the chubby
kid, being this, whatever comedybecame, it was my safety net.
It was my security blanket. If you made fun of me, I got to
where, you know, I would just. I would.
Yeah, you know, I would try to say whatever you want to say
(11:34):
about me first. Kind of Eminem.
Yes, exactly. So it's like Rick?
Bryant I. Know I know I'm fat, I know I'm
blind, you know, I know I have areading comprehensive problem.
I know I'm dyslexic. All these things that I had
growing up, it got to where I became the class clown.
So now it's like I'm in trouble at home because my dad would
stand over me. He's like, oh, look at me, I'm a
Jackass, you know, you think, but you know, it's like, so it's
(11:56):
like the fear. I'm sure of that.
But at the same time, I thought I was popular now because kids
laughed, but they're laughing atme, you know, And so it's.
Like so you were making yourselfthe butt of all the jokes.
I was but. But that's, that was the, you
know, I got to tell you, I I learned how to roast other
people. Like that was my thing.
And in a way, I think you're that's more evolved, though.
It's just like, OK, I'm going to, I'll throw myself under the
(12:17):
bus. What age were you when you
started using humor to deflect or to absorb or to empower
yourself? Junior high, like 8th grade, I
started kind of watching Saturday Night Live.
Yeah. I mean, I grew up kind of like,
it was like Hee Haw and I'd watch Carol Burnett and I'm
like, oh God, I wanted to be like Tim Conway and and I'm
like, these guys are amazing. And so.
(12:37):
But I would start like when I got started watching live, I
really got hooked on Dana Carveydoing his voice impressions and
Eddie Murphy and I got a hold. I like this family that adopting
was very religious and but kind of hypocritically religious.
But when I finally. So many people are, let me just,
can I just say I'm just not a big fan of religion in general
because it just feels like it, it, it makes you be less.
You're like, you're human. Like can we just be?
(12:58):
Human organized religion. But I you know what I can do is
I can have faith. I can have faith in my higher
power and what I choose to believe in.
And when I found that nobody cantell you what to believe or not
to believe, but I can't. Like I can't wrap my brain
around living off a book that's missing chapters or I can't
stand people that quote Bible verses to me with the one that
(13:21):
fits their life. But if you ask them what the
next verse is, they can't tell you.
And that drives me insane. I'm like cherry picking.
Yeah. And so, you know, growing up,
kind of be pushed at that direction.
I'm like, I don't know. So the voice impressions, I
started doing that. So it's like I got hooked on
Robin Leach and so I get. Some albums.
Comedy albums. So I, I got a hold of a Red Fox
album, which is the dirtiest thing I've ever heard in my
(13:42):
life. And I'm like, Oh my God, people
talk like this. Well, then I got into Richard
Pryor and I'm like, you know, I was, I was like so enthralled
because he wasn't allowed to go into the main clubs.
He had to work his stuff out in these back alley clubs.
When he came out live on Sunset,people thought, wow, I've been
working that stuff out in these,in these back rooms and like, so
that it was brilliant, you know,And it's like, so I'm, I'm
(14:04):
following all this and it's like, OK, you know, I was always
like in all the theater productions and I always got the
funny part, you know, And there's times where because I'm
just dyslexia, everyone got, I would have to improv and I would
forget my lines and I would justmake stuff up on the spot.
I have dyslexia too, but so you.You know, but the other actors
on stage, like, what is he doing?
Will you know? I was Billy, Like Billy just
(14:26):
took over the whole book. What's going on not but I could
come back around the line and itwould say, you know, and say, so
I would do stuff like that. And it's just, you know, I'd
walk down on Robin lakes with life belts over to fine months
was champagne marshals and copy all dreams.
And I would just do this over, you know, just trying to be the
funny guy. And so, you know, it was crazy.
Like, you know, I went to the military and the comedy was
(14:46):
always there. And, you know, when I got kind
of pushed out and I didn't want to come out of the military and
I didn't want to. And it was he.
Had some medical issue or something?
Or what happened, I just, I got hurt and it's like, so they,
they call it Med boarded out. And so it depressed me because I
thought I was going to have to go back to my small town and I
(15:07):
was going to have to suck it up to the people that didn't really
love me. And so in my mind, I'm like, I
was done. And so I really did want to
check out and I, I planned out my whole suicide.
I planned it all out. I was so in a bad place and I
went out in my garage and I literally got in my car and I'm
like, this is it. And I was ready and I started my
car. And the stupidity of it is I sat
(15:29):
there and I sat there and I sat there and my Prius clicked over
the battery and nothing happened.
And I'm so Nancy. I'm so I'm so mad.
Now this is for real. It's for real, no?
You're sit there because, but you're you're, you're so
despondent. Your frontal lobe's not really
online, so you're not noticing that you're on battery.
Why am I? Not and I'm like, I'm this is
(15:51):
real sleepy. I'm like, I'm so mad.
So the Prius came out in 97 and this was 2001 and I'm so happy
to have a Prius. And anyway, I come in the house
that day and I'm and I walk by my my ex-wife and I'm like,
she's like, are you? Are you are you OK?
And I'm like, I'm not. And that was the day I took out
a piece of paper, and I wrote combative comedy on the top of
(16:12):
this paper. And underneath it, I wrote the
number 300. And I started thinking about
life. And I'm like, all right, well,
you cannot change your past. You can't predict your future.
So you have to figure out how toget through.
And I thought, if I can live in five minute increments, if I can
live in 300 seconds, I'll get through this 5 minutes.
I'll get to the next 5 minutes and next 5 minutes.
And before you know it, tomorrow's here.
(16:33):
I lived another day. My demons didn't catch up with
me. I win, and so I started just
thinking about it. This is amazing.
So this, this all just came to you. 300 seconds. 5 minutes. 5
minutes. 300. Seconds, 5 minutes, I can do
that. So in my mind, I'm like, so I
started working on this. Well, I end up going, I got
divorced in 2003 and I'm kind ofreally hadn't finished what I
(16:54):
wanted to do with combat comedy.But when I got remarried, I
started thinking about, you know, my comedy was starting to
really take off for me. I knew, I knew sales.
I knew that you don't give them a yes or no, you give them a
choice. So I did, this is 2001.
I'm like, what do I do? So I got on the phone, I called
Huntington WV funny bone, but I called him and said, hi, my name
(17:14):
is Sal Ruggiero. I represent comedian and we'll
see my clients going to be in your area this week and this
week. Which week works best for you
have to give them a choice. They're like, well, this week
doesn't none of those weeks work.
But this week our future ex wife's having a baby.
We're scrambling to find a feature.
Can your client come in this week?
Do 30 minutes a night, $400.00 for the week.
I had five minutes of material and maybe 5 minutes.
(17:35):
So I like I said, you know what my clients booked this week, but
I have a good rapport with that comedy club.
Let me see if I can get him moved out of this club and get a
week down the line. Give me 15 minutes, I'll call
you back. So I've watched the clock.
I call him back. I said I would say, hey, I got a
hold of the comedy club. I got a hold of, we'll see.
I tell you what, they're going to give him another week.
I'm sending him to the airport right now.
Can somebody pick him up? He's on his way to West
(17:56):
Virginia. I get there with my 5 minutes of
material, 5 Nancy at 5 minutes, maybe horrible 5 minutes.
First night I go through the five and two because I'm so
nervous. So now it's improv, but I'm
improv chain, which really helps.
I went through all that comedy sports stuff.
So I'm like, all right, hey, we do a thing called blue shirt.
It's a Meisner technique. It's like you can take the blue
(18:16):
shirt and use all the emotions with it.
Blue shirt, shirt. So I so I'm going around the
audience basically. So what?
What's up? Green shorts, you know, And I'm
like, I do this for the whole week, where you from?
Blah blah blah. At the end of the week, she
hands me the money. She goes, I can't believe I
never heard of you. I go, I can't believe you never
heard of me either. I walked out and I never looked
back. Wow.
So this is. Amazing I'm like I can do this
(18:38):
and so I just I. Hit This is amazing.
I hit the road running. You're blowing.
You're blowing my mind in so many ways.
The comedy club in Kansas City, like really backed me, the
Stanford and Sons. They made me their house MC and
I was able to get all the stage time I needed because they
liked. Me and this is early 2000s.
So this is now born in 2003, 2004.
And so I'm like, all right, I'm on the road.
I'm now I'm a road comic and things are going great.
(19:01):
I'm out there. You know, I, I got really lucky
with the people that took me on the road and kind of talk Lisa
Lamp and only took me under her wing.
I had John Derista take me on his wing.
All the and people are just, they're teaching me.
You learn the. Lisa's teaching me merchandise
always have money in your hand. If people see money in your
hand, they, they, they think that you're selling.
So they want to be a part of what you whatever somebody else
(19:22):
got these people want have moneyin your hand, be a good Barker,
blah, blah, blah. She's like, whatever you set the
price at you stick it that don'tcome down.
So if you want your T-shirts to be $20, you stay at $20.
And so I'm, I'm taking this. Well, then Katt Williams has me
working and I'm like, so I'm learning kind of that urban side
of comedy too. And I'm like, I'm put it all
together. I'm like, I'm going, well, if
you can be funny in the black rooms, you can be funny
(19:42):
anywhere. And I'm taking all these notes.
And so I start taking and I makea spreadsheet.
Every club I got booked into, I took a note.
How hard was it for me to get inthis club?
How much merchandise did I sell?What did I get paid that week?
Did they rebook me before I left?
Because I was so I put together just a ridiculous of every club
I worked, I took notes. And so I still have it.
I have it what I call my Booker list from every club I've ever
(20:04):
stepped foot in. I put this together to where I
know when I went back, if you sold X amount of dollars last
time, take a little more this time.
These people want you back. And so I'm a numbers guy.
And so I would adjust and adjust.
And so the crazy thing is, and Iwant to, I want to go back to
this really quick. It's like I was telling you,
dyslexic with a reading comprehension problem.
Well, it didn't take until. You have such a business mind
too, my. My 8th grade, like my junior
(20:26):
high English teacher, Mrs. Myers.
If I owe anybody, just I I wish I could find her again and just
hug her. She always would say, what do
you want on your epitaph? That was a big thing that she'd
always say that, that she's the one that finally said I think
she was. I think he's just like sick.
And she started working with me and figuring out that I did have
a reading comprehension problem.And so I was always thinking,
what do you want on your epitaph?
(20:47):
And I didn't want people to comeby my tombstone and it just be
like, you know, he was, I wantedto be he is.
And there's a big difference between that because he was
means I'm past tense and people will forget you, but he is, it
means people will remember you always because you still are.
And so I started thinking about that.
(21:07):
And so when I finally got into high school and things were kind
of going weird, I, you know, my guidance counsel always said
that I would never amount to anything.
She's like, you're basically, you're dyslexic.
You have this reading confidential problem.
You're probably going to be a farmer like your dad.
Just get prepared for that life.Well, my junior in high school,
this Air Force recruiter kept oncoming up and he's like, do you
want to, how would you like to join United States Air Force?
(21:29):
And I'm like I said, is there a test involved?
He's. Like there's an ASVAB test.
I'm like, I'll never pass it. He's like, why?
I'm like, I'm dyslexic. I have a green comprehension
problem. He's like, I'll tell you how you
take this test. He's like, look, 90% of the
answers are see if it says all the above, it's all the above.
He goes yes, on the rest. So I followed that.
I aced the ASVAB test. That's why the Air Force took
(21:50):
me, which is one of the hardest branches to get into the Air
Force. So now I'm in the Air Force,
never should have been first job.
They give me pharmacy specialist.
I'm dyslexic with a reading comprehension problem.
Yeah. You want me to hand out
medications I can't read. I'm like.
You talk about some Med airs. But then I was able to cross
and, you know, I ended up being a medic and, you know, I look at
the different things that I was able to do through the military
(22:11):
and taking those life lessons, even though I had some really
traumatic things. I had my battle buddy died in my
arms. I'll never get the smell of
burnt flesh out from underneath my nose.
And it it it. It's.
Horrible, you know, and so but Itake this and I've always had
this mentality back to, you know, he is.
And I'm like, OK, all this trauma and all these things and
(22:31):
the abuse that you've taken from, you know, even when I was
a kid, having things done to a child that shouldn't be
happening, I take all these things through these foster
homes and the people that hurt me and even the people that
adopted me and hurt me. I'm like, you can't beat me.
You cannot destroy me. I'm not going to be an ostrich.
I'm not sticking my head in the ground.
I'm here. And as long as my voice works,
I'm here. My body's I'm beat, I mean.
(22:54):
Yeah, you showed me that you have this condition.
What is the name of it? It's called Dirkham's disease
and so. You have to have lipomas are
stuck to your. Your muscle and my so my hands
will tighten up and so I can't move them or I can't my range of
motion so they have to cut them so I can just move like a normal
person. I mean they thought they're
everywhere so and they marry each other.
(23:15):
So if it goes to one leg or to go to the other, if it goes to 1
arm it'll go to the other I. See it?
I see it. Yeah, I see those.
So it's like, so I lived with this and then it's like I was
telling you, you know, we talkedto, you know, I did that drag
bar and it's like, you know, what are you going to name your
drag bar? And I'm like, my life's a wreck
because I look at it, it has so many different meetings because
not only the car wrecks and things like that, but it's like
(23:37):
the things that should take a person down.
And I refuse to quit. I just, I cannot accept that.
So even like in comedy, I got dared to do comedy, you know,
1995 Comedy Store January 4th, 1995 I get dared to do it and I.
That was your first time on stage.
First time on stage. Was it the Comedy Store?
In La Jolla and I have no idea what I'm doing, but I write 3
(23:59):
minutes of horrible jokes and the next comic coming up and you
know they kind of slingshot at the store and so the next comic
coming up was Bobby Lee. Bobby Lee and Mad TV little
Asian guy. From Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, I
kind. Of forgot he's he's coming up
and pretty popular. He's from Poway and so he
shoulder chucks me as would pass.
He just leans in. He's like stick with the Marine
(24:19):
Corps. This is not for you.
I go, OK, you told me I can't dosomething.
I'll see you next week. That's all.
All you did was drive. I mean, so it's so funny this
guy finally went. And that's was that was a gift
to you. It was because, yeah, double
dare, buddy. Or just like or even just like
telling you like the counselor. Hey, don't even dream.
Don't dare to dream. And that guy tell you can't.
(24:39):
Wow, what? A what?
A Like the dare. Program to keep the kids off.
Drive, dare him and a whole different thing to me.
I'm like dare me because I'm like.
What a Dick move too, because people don't know when you see
somebody the first time, you don't know what potentials
underneath that very first time on stage, you know, or whatever.
Everybody's got a different first time where it's either
went really well, they all. Shine it pretty good, but nobody
knows like the beating that somebody's taken underneath by
(25:00):
the so it's like, you know, I finally ran it.
You know Bobby, we we're friendsdown.
I remember we were working on I was at the Lol or I was at the
River center. He was at the Lol in San
Antonio, but we're staying at the same hotel because it's
owned by this the same guy. So he'd put you up the hotel and
we're sitting out on the patio and he he looks so he's like,
you don't like me, do you? I'm like Bobby, it's not that I
don't like you. And I just reminded him, you
(25:20):
know, about that. And he just told me it stuck
when he goes. I'm not in this business to make
friends, you know, and I'm like,as harsh as that is, I'm like,
it makes sense to me. I'm like, you're right, because
it's like it's a business and people forget we are salesman,
the comedy, the funny and you'revery funny.
But you know what? I want you, Nancy.
And it's like you are. That's why I was trying last
(25:43):
night. I wasn't trying to like fluff
when I was being on stage. But I watch everything.
A lot of comics won't stick in the room and watch comics, you
know, when you get to the headliner level, they leave the
room. But I still am so enthralled by
the art of comedy and how peoplemove on stage and how they sing
their song. And I'm watching you and I'm
like, you're, you're a salesperson.
We are sales people. You know the funny.
Oh, yeah. I always say I have to sell the
shit out of my material. But you know, and The thing is,
(26:05):
I'm listening to you and I've been, here's me, I've been doing
this 40 years, and I don't even know how I get by with it
because there's a part of me in total denial that this is a
business. 40 years, you say I'm at 30 and it's like, it's almost
like we're selling a classic car.
I kind of feel, you know, we arewe're classic and it's like, so
(26:25):
our value is more then then a new, you know.
I love that you get on stage andthe first night that we worked
together, you were saying, listen, I'm going to be honest
with you. This is for me, like I'm healing
my trauma from being in the military, from all the stuff
that we didn't even know, all the adoption trauma.
But you, I think it's easier foryou to come out as like, I'm a
veteran and I have, you know, because you have been, you've
(26:48):
had to, you've had to shoot at people.
You've had, you know, take lives.
You've had to risk your life. You know, you raise your hand
and you say I'll defend this country against all enemies for
domestic. And it's like I've done that
three times and like, I mean it,but it's like when you come out
and I like I said, I didn't wantto come out.
It's very similar to a civilian grieving process.
(27:10):
So here's this denial that I'm hurt and Uncle Sam doesn't want
me anymore. So now I'm angry.
All right, Well, then I start bargaining with him.
Like, find me another job. Find me something I can do.
All right? No, Well, now I'm depressed.
So here I'm on this teuter totter of anger and depression
and bargaining, and I'm just here and I stay there and I
don't know how to do it. And so then I don't know how to
communicate with the people thatlove me and the people that want
(27:31):
to help me. Until you get to that level of
acceptance where you can say it's OK to not be OK, that's
when the healing really starts. And so like I had to take that
bachelor when I was writing the combat comedy, trying to figure
out how can I heal through humorwhen I get in the dark place.
How can I talk myself off a ledge?
How can I talk somebody else offa ledge?
And I started thinking about like when we meet people, it's
human nature to put your best foot forward.
(27:53):
We want to impress people, you know?
So it's like, but but how quick are we maybe to tell somebody 5
things about ourselves that we normally wouldn't tell, you
know, you know, and I'm not saying go as dark, but if you
want to, but the first funny story that comes to your mind,
people won't do that because it makes you vulnerable.
People don't realize that's whatI was trying to say last night.
When you're on stage, like it's amazing because it's like a
(28:16):
public speaker. That's one of the top 10
scariest things you do that is up there with people that they
say high wires and fighter pilots and things that so it's.
Scary It is the number one fear.So it's like, OK, so when you're
doing that, I'm thinking, OK, I,I write this whole thing out and
I finally, it took me 11 years to write Combat to comedy.
And I finally I shared it with afriend of mine.
(28:38):
He's a master's shirt in the AirForce.
I didn't know, I had no idea that Trevor had these
connections. And I'm, I get an e-mail from
the Pentagon and it's basically saying, we've heard about your
combat to comedy. We'd like you to present this to
Joint Chiefs of Staff. And I get to go and I present
this in General Goldstein, United States Air Force is like
your program can work. And all of a sudden I'm going to
these adaptive care events for the Department of Defense.
(28:58):
It's a laugh therapist and when I started my company, I have a
company called the Veterans of Comedy and we're all military
veterans. There's now stand up comedians
and so my goal was to do. Oh wow, I had no idea that you
did all that. So you have that right now.
You wanted to do like who did? Like Bob Hope, I wanted to.
Do yes USO tours and because. I remember like when I was, you
know, it's like the people that came and performed, you felt
(29:19):
like you're back home for a minute and I wanted to do that.
I never thought that all of a sudden I'd be doing combat to
comedy and travelling the world.And so you have, is this going
on right now? Yeah, my company started in
2000. How do people find it?
What is it? All combat to comedy or what's
the website? The veterans of comedy.com.
The veterans of comedy.com and so you you're touring with the
(29:40):
military for the military, but also do you do things outside of
the government? So stateside, like I do, I do my
own. I'll book VFW's American
Legions. I try to take it to towns that
don't normally have comedy because my deal is like a lot of
times I'm I'm really fixated on and I know it's a nice campaign,
the 22 a day, but suicide in themilitary is very high.
(30:02):
And I'm like, those numbers haveto come down.
And a lot of people think in the, you know, like the VA, it's
like, oh, if I put a pamphlet inin the lobby that people are
going to grab that and that's going to save their life or they
can call the suicide hotline number.
That's not what saves lives. The, I guess basically being
with somebody that understands, I'm not saying that somebody has
to add boots on the ground, but somebody that understands the
(30:25):
darkness in the military. Yeah, and that's where that dark
humor we were talking about. I know that I can go, I can go
dark, but it's like the militaryteaches you so much to, you
know, kill the enemy, kill the enemy, the enemy's the monster.
That's what's it's drilled into you.
What people don't realize is that monsters who's staring at
you in the mirror, it's not thatyou want to die.
You're not, It's not that you want to commit suicide.
It's because you came home and your brain doesn't shut down and
(30:47):
the monster staring at you and over here's your wife and over
here's your kids and you've beenyou're so.
Programmed. You were told 6 month deployment
that turned into a year deployment and you haven't you
know, you had a baby while you're gone and this and that.
You come home and your brain is still in the shit and excuse my
mouth, but you're still over there.
And now you're expected to be a father and a husband and be back
in the workforce and you're you're still you know, it's like
(31:11):
I'm I'm there. And so it's like all of a sudden
it's like everything's coming atyou and you don't know what to
do. And the next thing you know,
you're, you're tasting the end of your barrel and it's like,
it's scary. And it's like, because you just
wanted to stop. You want to be able to close,
You close your eyes and your eyes are still open, if that
makes sense. It's like it's.
It's you can't shut it down. You can't.
It's like torture. So and then.
(31:32):
Because you're talking like whenthey talk about torture, where
they hold. Those eyes and then like.
That's a form of like it internal.
Torture medicate you so much to where like, OK, this is going to
make you go to sleep. This is going to make you wake
up. This is going to make you happy,
this and that. And it's like, I don't want to
be that robot. And so for me, I found that, OK,
you can heal with humor. You can fight through with
(31:52):
funny. So how can I do that?
So if I'm in a dark place, I have to figure out, OK, you
know, if when I talk to people that are like, they're there,
they're ready to to end it. I'm like, all right, hey, tell
me about a good day. Tell me about, Hey, do you
remember when you got your driver's license?
You remember passing that test, you know so.
Trying to just string together some.
Whether it's pull out your driver's license and have a
(32:14):
visual picture or it's a mental picture, I go, hey, you remember
what you were wearing that day. Hey, did you have a good hair
day? You know, because you knew you
had to get your picture taken for your driver's license.
And then we start talking about that.
Did you lie about your weight, anything, blah, blah, blah.
But now you're trying. To get them in.
But you went away from the dark thing that they had you to you
know what? That was kind of funny.
I, you know, I flunked the firsttime.
(32:34):
I had to go back and take it again.
But we switched from the I want to die.
Like, hey, remember how it felt when you finally got the hands
on the wheel and you're free? Yeah.
Having that tactile memory, because telling someone not to
think about something, it's onlymakes you think about it.
But redirecting, it's redirecting and also to the
present moment. I think you alluded to that
earlier about not worrying aboutthe past, the future.
(32:56):
And I think that's one thing that humor does is gets us in
the present moment, which is oneof my pendants that just says I
am in the present moment for now.
And I always say you don't have to do it all the time, just do
it for now. And it's always now, of course,
but it's like one of those, but easier said than done to stay in
the present moment. So that's one of your tricks is
like, not tricks, but like one of the tools that you use is
(33:16):
like anchoring, anchoring an experience that was positive or
funny or normal, you know, kind of typical life experience.
So you work with people one-on-one, you do some and
then. I have my like I give my phone
number out to anybody because I have insomnia really bad and so.
I mean, you don't want to put itout on, but how, how should if
(33:37):
people want to reach you, shouldthey go through that website?
So you can go to the website andihavenoproblemwithmymysendmeanemailandidontevenitscomedianwillsee@gmail.com.
Comedian will see that's WILL. The letter C, letter C, or if
you're on the Veterans of Comedywebsite and you just want to
e-mail me that way it's just info@theveteransofcomedy.com.
(33:58):
Either way, those emails will come to me.
And then if you feel comfortablegiving your phone number and
you'd like to talk to me, absolutely, because I, I don't,
I, I would rather be the, the person that says we can get
through this than have to read about you later that you can,
you didn't make it, you know. This is amazing that you have
all this to give having gone through like when we just heard
your life's like your, I mean, this is amazing that you're able
(34:19):
to share all this because it's so much.
And I know there's so much more because you're like, you've
lived through more car accidents.
There's so many. We're going to have to have you
on as like a regular. So I have to have you back.
Because I'm probably taking all your time.
No, not my time. But we have a, you know.
No, no, we're doing good. Good.
Yeah, we're still doing good. We got.
If you have a little more time, I.
Do I kind of wanted to to get tolike, 'cause we're talking
(34:41):
about, you know, we, we both have done the drive art thing
and it's like, it's a great experience.
It's like the trying to come up with, you know, a name for it.
Yeah. So here's.
My life's a wreck is perfect. Mine is called super dork.
I, I know and I love it. I love it.
I got a phone call. I literally had just got out of
the hospital in New York after having a Widowmaker heart attack
(35:01):
two years ago. What and so I've.
Even heard about the heart. Attack.
Listen to this. So I go to New York because I'm
trying to meet with Michael Cox,do The Tonight Show, which we
found. I'm trying to find him.
I want to go face to face with Michael.
We've been talking. I'm like, I do better face to
face. So I'm like, all right.
April 3rd, 4th and 5th, 2023. I'm going to New York the week
prior. I love, I love that you're such
(35:22):
a hustler. I I mean, I love that you go for
it, man. I always, I've been sitting back
my whole life, making people have to come to me.
You know what I mean? This is, this is.
Yeah. You're going after it.
Well, back in the day before I said, send me a VHS.
I'm like, no, what, what city are you in?
Oh, you're in North Carolina. So I I knew I needed to get in
with the comedy zones. You know what I did?
I got my car. I was told pick up Donuts, pick
(35:43):
up a piece and go to the office.That's what I do with the comedy
zone. I'm like, I met half and and
pace and you're just and I'm like, hey, God, I'm so lazy.
I'm standing in front. I'm listening to this going.
I can't. Believe they pull out their
calendar and they're like, Hey, we can put and and they gave me
days, but that's I'm like, I've always been that guy.
So, you know, as far as like, I guess the hustle of it is, you
(36:04):
know, it's crazy. So I, I go out there the week
prior, I'm in Snowmass, Co and I'm performing for the disabled
American vets, their Winter Olympics.
They have, you know, so it's like, here's amputees and, and
put 600 athletes and it's like the most, but I'm like my chest
hurt the whole time, but I thought it was a thin air.
So I just kind of blew it off and I'm like, alright, I come
back from Snowmass Sunday morning and I'm packing Sunday
(36:26):
night. I'm flying to New York on that
Monday. So April 2nd, I'm packing it,
but my, my heart, it hurts, hurts.
So I call my buddy in New York. I'm like, hey, I don't think I
should come. I'm like my chest is hurting.
Big love with New York guy. He's like, you know, stop
Butapans, you know, you know, I'll pick you up at the airport.
I got something for you. So I, I go on.
So my buddy John meets me, givesme a ginger ale and a bagel with
(36:46):
cream cheese. He's like, slam that ginger ale.
I do. I burp the biggest burp ever.
Instantly felt better. He's like, I told you.
She's like, let's go. So we're in the Bronx.
I'm over here eating chicken parm.
I'm over here having greasy pizza.
I feel like shit, I'm like, it took me to this place called the
Sausage Chandelier Company and there's just sausages hanging
from the scene. I'm just, I'm like doubling.
(37:09):
I'm like, I mean everything insight and I'm like, I'm
leaning up against like I'm like, I get on my chest, my
heart. That was on Monday, Tuesday,
like I'm trying to find Michael.Like we finally walked around
Manhattan for like we did 7 miles that day.
That night we go to Gallagher's Steakhouse.
I eat a porterhouse was meant for three people.
I eat it by myself. I don't know what's going on
with my life. That night I had the best sleep
(37:30):
of my life, Nancy, because I'm dying.
I just don't know it. The next day is April 5th and
I'm supposed he's got a, my buddy's got a dental appointment
at the VA in the Bronx and he's going to take the airport.
I'm supposed to fly to New Orleans and go get on the
Carnival Valor because I do the cruise ships.
And so I always told if your chest hurts, you point to it and
go in the emergency room. So he goes into his dental
appointment. I go to the emergency room, I'm
(37:52):
like, so they get me back here. They run an EKG on me, come
back, they tell me I'm fine, you're fine.
I'm like, I'm fine, fine, praiseGod, whatever.
I signed the paperwork to leave.I stand up in the emergency
room, start walking emergency room.
I drop and have a widowmaker in the emergency room on April 5th.
Wait. 23 Say that last part again, they told you you're fine
and then. I signed the paperwork.
(38:12):
I'm going to leave and I did. I'm like, all right, thank you.
I stand up, I start walking out of the emergency room and I drop
and I have what they called widowmaker heart attack.
My LED, which is your your 4th that's your main artery was 99%
clogged. They revived me, obviously.
Because you were right there. They got me if.
You had not been right. There.
(38:33):
You're done. So they take me to the VA, the
Manhattan VA, which is one of the best cardiovascular
hospitals in the country. So through my wrist, they put a
stent in me. I'm in the hospital for two
weeks. I'm not trying to get religious
with your listeners, but this isa true story.
Do whatever you want. Religious.
(38:54):
Spiritual. I don't know what it was, but
it's my last day in the hospitaland at 7:30 in the morning, the
six two Chinese male nurse comesin my room with the whitest
scrub pants I've ever seen. Got this Crimson scrub top on.
He comes, he's like, good morning, Mr. Flipped, how you
doing? He's like, can I open your
blinds for you? I'm like, sure.
He opens the blinds. He turns around and he's like,
hey, let me stand you up really quick.
(39:15):
I don't want your hospital gown bunching up on you.
I don't want you getting bed sores.
Let me flatten you out. So he stands me up, he flats me
on. He sits me back down the bed and
he starts to walk out of the room and he turns around.
He looks at me. He's like he goes are you OK?
And I guess I had a look on my face.
I said I'm not OK and I'm like no.
I said I've been here for two weeks.
I said I've had to cancel all these cruise ships, corporate
gigs. I had auctions coming up.
(39:35):
I said I'm a public speaker here.
I said I go no and I said no. They're telling me I can't even
fly for another two weeks. I said I had to call my agent
and cancel more cruise ships. I said another auction.
I said I said buddy, I'm out of so much money.
I go your brain probably can't even comprehend the amount of
money I'm out of and the guys time.
He's like, I'm not trying to be rude, I'm not trying to be
disrespectful, but if I'm hearing you right, what you're
(39:57):
saying to me is you're more worried about the money you've
missed than the people that havemissed you.
If you're gone and it hit me, Nancy, it hit me hard.
And I'm like I said, how old areyou?
And he goes, I'm 24. I'm like, why?
I said I have two kids your age or complete dipshit.
So I'll trade both of them for one of you.
And he walks down the room kind of laughing.
At 810, the cardiologist come inthe room to tell me that I can
(40:19):
leave and I'm going to go to my cousin's house in New Jersey for
the next two weeks. And I'm like, hey, around 7:30,
there's a six two Chinese male nurse that came in here.
White scrub pants comes. I said, man, that's the best
conversation I've had since I'vebeen here.
He made me laugh. What a great nurse you guys have
here. But I never caught his name.
Would you guys relay a message to him and just tell him I said
(40:39):
thank you? And they're like, what are you
talking about? I said the the 6-2 male nurse
was in here this morning and I'mgetting goosebumps right now.
And. Just so you know, I'm getting
the truth. We don't have any male nurses on
our on this floor. They said alone.
Our nurses are all color coordinated.
Our nurses wear green scrubs. They go in a double secure room.
They said you have to assign a alog book here with that you have
(41:00):
to have a badge to get in this room.
I know I get them too. And they said.
We're just having. Two children, that glass in your
room, that's the nurses station.We've been monitoring you
nonstop for two weeks. The only person that came in
your room was your night nurse. Came in at 6:30 to show you
goodbye and good luck. But you're sleeping now.
We've come in your room at 8:10.I'm like stop messing with me.
62 male. They're like certain.
(41:20):
And Asian like very specific. And I'm like.
You had specific like the. In my mind, I'm like, so my
people are always the drugs thatare giving you whatever.
I don't care what it was. I needed to hear that message
because I always thought, Nancy,I always thought success was was
how much money I made. I've always thought that, you
know, I've always, because I came up from a poor upbringing.
(41:43):
I, I learned this 1010 law of accumulation and I started
living my life by that. And basically the 1010 law of
accumulation says if it doesn't make you make a dollar $100 a
$1000, you pay yourself 1st 10% that goes in your pocket that
you're spending money, take 10% and give it away.
Whatever, put it in the bank, whatever you do, get rid of it.
(42:03):
People live within their means. So if 80 percentage your means,
you will learn to live in that and you'll forget that you have
10% in your pocket. You forget that you have 10% in
the bank or that you gave it away.
That's a tax write off. So now your money's working for
you. You're not working for your
money and you will look comfortably and always have
money. And so I started all right, but
I always thought, you know, I have to have more.
I have to have more people are looking at me.
(42:24):
I'm from the small town. People see me on TV, they see me
on these movies and they, they see me on TV shows and they live
vicariously through me through the small town I'm from.
I'm like, I've, I've, I've got to have the best car.
So it's like I buy them the mostexpensive I had, you know, so
it's like, that's why I got the nice car and I've got to have
the nice house and I've got to have everything.
And I have to dress a certain way.
(42:44):
And you know, I like I was telling you, I can't mix match
my clothing. I'm name brand, everything is
name brand. And I'm like, in my mind,
because I think everybody, that's how I'm being judged.
And I'm like 2 years ago that changed.
You know, I'm like, OK. And when I stopped making money,
the focus, more of it has come in than I can even imagine.
Isn't that something? But I've also, you know, I'm in
(43:07):
a situation I can't really, you know, because I got hurt.
I can't really talk about that. But it's like everything happens
for a reason. And it's like, so I'm here now.
I'm not on the cruise ships. I'm not doing what I was used to
doing. I'm here in Branson for a
reason, and if that reason was for us to meet and to have this
conversation, then that's what was supposed to happen.
I'm supposed to be in this moment, Reason, season,
(43:29):
lifetime, you know? So our reason is we both have
trauma. We have trauma in our life, you
know, our season is right now. Now are we a lifetime?
I hope to. I really do hope so.
I hope that this friendship is something that you know.
And that guardian Angel that came to you?
And it was. I needed it.
Put you back on like. Why did it have to?
Be a six two Asian. Guy it's, I don't know, it's.
(43:50):
Like a 510 like Swedish woman. Whatever I.
Just said but. I'm sure I'm sure that your
guardian can be a shapeshifter, but maybe you?
I needed the mess. You would have got distracted by
the Swedish girl, you know, You know you wouldn't.
You wouldn't have been listening, right?
One of my best friends have beenYou'd be.
Motorboating in her chest. And your message was.
(44:10):
But I realized, like, one of my best friends have been, and that
is his height. And I'm like, maybe
subconsciously I had my friend Tony in my mind because, you
know, he's always told me that I'm so focused on the dollar.
I'm. Yeah, maybe it was.
Yeah. Yeah.
You know, it's interesting because I, even as you were
saying some of the stuff earlierand I thought, I don't know how,
but I've, I always get by and it's not like I like my dad
(44:32):
would he, he grew up very poor and he wanted me to have
security. And so he's always trying to get
me to raise my fees and rates and everything.
And also like maybe try a littleharder because I sleep till
noon. As I've already shared with you
today it was 1:00. So I'm just like, look at this
guy's out hustling and I'm like,like, and I should be working on
my set list and like, now we're going to figure it out.
But I, I am going to definitely call in the higher power and I
(44:53):
do trust that things are workingout for their highest good, even
if it is for my humility, you know, stay humble because I do
tour a lot and and I am you do I'm well, I'm spoiled right now.
Like I've been really spoiled with audiences and Boulder and,
you know, talking to my people. And it's like Nance, you know
what, let's start. Let's let's find that common
(45:14):
denominator again, which is whatI was trying to do last night.
But I did it in a not a funny way, like more of a preachy.
Way I love when you say it from Boulder because I was a Morgan
Mindy fan when I was a kid. Boulder was Morgan.
And yes, you'll have to come visit Boulder and go see the
Morgan Mindy I. Wore I wore the rainbow
suspenders when I was a kid withmy baseball.
Uniform. Yeah, I don't have a butt.
(45:34):
My pants will fall down, so I'd have to wear.
I wear suspenders in baseball, so I'm part of Ball 2.
I'm like, he's talking about me,right?
I don't know. But I'm like, no, it's like I
had to like try to. So I'm huge more committee fans.
That's amazing. So well, I do think we're meant
I know we're meant to meet and Ilove God.
I love anytime during an episodewhere I call my one of my guests
(45:54):
called the truth chills. And that's when I know, I know
that's like, that was definitelya divine intervention, whatever
you call it. We've had weird shows this week,
you know, And it's like, but it's like.
I'm a weirdo too, you know, So there's a part of me that's just
like, but. I love it.
Like I was telling you last night, it's like, I do think
everything happens for reason. But I think it's really cool
(46:14):
what you're doing here. I was just saying to to Jason
Lewis, what I really appreciate is this is what we need more of
in this country, in the world, is people coming from all walks
of life. Because this is what you're
getting here. You're getting people from all
over the country from all different pay grades, you know,
because. We like about the cruise ships
is the same thing. From all of the yes, cross
section of America, but here it's like even more because, you
(46:38):
know, some people can't afford acruise ship.
They might be able to drive to Branson.
And then there's people here whoare super wealthy.
So we're getting a really and then you're getting like really
conservative. And then I mean, I did, there's
a young man that came up to me Thursday night, which, you know,
I'm saying happy pride. We're kind of the queers.
We get a little bit of everything is all I'm saying.
(46:59):
So I think it's cool bringing different people.
And I love, like I said, when I saw the cannabis truck out
front, I thought, OK, Branson, Branson has changed.
There's there's room for everybody.
There there's two guys they comeevery week and they amazing
couple married and I love those guys.
They I know in their eyes I'm a bear and I'm like I love it like
(47:24):
I never my one of my first friends when I got adopted,
nobody really talked to me. I was just new kid.
And so my friend Jay, it was different, you know, and Jay's
gay. And, and when we were kids back
in 1975, you didn't, you didn't know.
We didn't know. And so I just knew, like Jay's
mom was my Cub Scout leader, youknow, we all went to JC
(47:46):
Penney's. We got our Cub Scout outfit.
Jay's mom made his, he wore culottes like we have like our
wolf slide for your, your scarf,you know.
Well, he he wore his grandma's broche.
Did he really? Are you teasing?
I wish I was making. That was so cool.
He just did whatever he wanted and it's like.
And he had support from his family, but I was like, that's
(48:06):
rare in that time. I hate bowling.
And so to this day, we like I, if he tells me that he's in
trouble, I'm on a plane to San Francisco in a heartbeat, you
know, and I'm like, that's just who I am.
And we've stayed that I've, I'vealways wanted to protect him,
you know, but it's like, I grew up that, you know, with that,
it's funny, like as we're kids, I, I joke about it because like,
(48:28):
I stay all night with him, you know, because they're very, very
wealthy and I was very poor. His grandfather invented this
coil that goes in the air conditioning.
And so his family, they're very,very, very rich.
And but because we live in the country, they had the massive
ranch house. And so he hated going to school.
And so he eventually went to private schools.
(48:48):
He got older but we stayed friends and.
Because he was bullied, that's. Cool.
Because he's like, yeah. Because he was effeminate.
And then when he finally went tothe right schools, he's OK.
But in my my country school. They pick on anything that's
different. Are you like me?
Are you, are you a bully to the bullies?
I'm a little bit of a bully to the bullies, which I guess makes
me a. Bully.
(49:08):
I literally beat the crap out ofbullies before.
So I had when I was a senior, there was this kid, freshman, it
doesn't matter, but he always got picked on and we had choir
class after lunch and he always come in crying that this guy was
taking his lunch money kind of thing.
And so I just asked the guy, I'mlike, can I use the restroom?
And so I knew that that guy had study hall.
(49:29):
I walked in the library. He's one of those wall rats.
We had the Jean jacket with him.He had like the Jean jacket
where they put like the mega death or whatever.
He's had his sewn on the back ofyou.
So hey, can I, can I see you on the hall real quick?
No, he comes down. So I take that Jean jacket.
I pull over his head and I'm bouncing him off the lockers.
And I just made the and I'm like, I've just always been that
guy. I can't.
(49:49):
I cannot stand it. Did not steal anymore.
He didn't take any more lunch money, did he?
And. Tim never got he never got
bullied again. But I'm like in my mind, I'm
like, I just don't understand the meanness.
The kid that bullied me. I don't understand why I had to
get off the school bus And he would he would knock my books
out. He would punch me, you know,
he'd beat me. And that's what my dad finally
had enough. He's like in the car, you know,
(50:10):
and my dad, you know, we're going down the chin leaves and
started taking martial arts. But it's like I just, I feel
like I want to protect and my point to that is like.
Yeah, and that's why you were inthree branches of the military
too, because you want to protect.
I just like, I don't, yeah, I don't.
Why can't people just love and be who they want to be in love?
You know, but I think it's really cool what you're doing
(50:30):
here. And some folks are coming into
the comedy club and they're they're taking care of some HVAC
or some business or something. But I know we need to wrap it
up, but I just wanted to say that it's OK.
I think it's like, it makes it realistic.
But you might want to lean into the microphone.
Just a little bit. So I just want, I mean, the fact
that the fact that you haven't self imploded or I'm just so
(50:52):
impressed that you've turned things into a positive.
That's one thing I say about trauma D is it's transmute,
transmute trauma. So it's instead of taking it
because sometimes, you know, kick the dog syndrome or you
could have become, you know, thebully.
But you were like I said, I was like, I'm a bully to the
bullies. I'm like Toto from Wizard of Oz,
like I'm gentle with gentle people, but I have a lot of
(51:15):
growth yet to do. But I want to man, thank you for
thank you. Oh, I just wanted to give a
shout out to what you're doing here.
Just, you know, because here we are in Branson comedy factory in
Branson column. And tonight I'm going to go
watch the psychedelic. Go watch the Pink Floyd.
Oh gosh. Hey, guys.
They're having a good time. We just we harsh their buzz.
(51:36):
But so tonight, I mean, you had you had a big show last night
and tonight we it's so cool, this Pink Floyd experience, it's
like it's going to be cool. We're going to get.
So we're going to have an interesting group come in after
that. They all, they all roll over to
the comedy club afterwards. Because we'll get it.
We'll have fun with them. Well, thank you.
Thank you, Thank you. We'll see.
Everybody reach out to. We'll see on the website.
(51:59):
You can go to the Veterans of comedy.com.
You can also check me out at wellsee.net.
All the handles are out there, so the real we'll see.
Or make ribs for life. So yeah, make ribs for life so.
It's kind of my thing. So yeah, find me.
And yeah, if I'm in your town, from your city over here in
Branson, come out here to the columns, come out to the Branson
Comedy Factory, see a show everyThursday, Friday, Saturday.
(52:21):
Night. And if you're struggling, you
know who to reach out to. Reach out to me.
All right. Thank you so much.
I want to thank my guests. We'll see.
There'll be a link to all of thewebsites.
Veterans of Comedy and remember,if you know anyone who could
benefit from hearing this episode, please share it with a
(52:41):
friend who may need to know. They are not alone and they too
can get through stuff. I'd like to thank my son
Nathaniel Norton for this music loop and thank you the listener
for being on this Co healing journey.
And remember, no matter what, keep laughing.
You're listening to Traumedy, the podcast that helps you take
your pain and play with it. I'm Nancy Norton.
I am a comedian, former nurse, and a keynote speaker about the
power of humor. And this episode was recorded in
Branson at the Branson Comedy Factory.
And it's recorded on my laptop. So the quality is a little
(00:28):
ambient. I would say there's a little bit
of background noise, people coming in and out of the comedy
club getting it ready for the show.
So just know there might be a little bit of artifact sounds.
And it's worth it because this guest has been through the
ringer and I I can't believe. I cannot believe what a survivor
(00:54):
refuses to quit and also has figured out how to thrive.
And I'm like, OK, all this trauma and all these things and
the abuse that you've taken from, you know, even when I was
a kid, having things done to a child that shouldn't be
happening, I take all these things through these foster
homes and the people that hurt me and even the people that
adopted me and hurt me, I'm like, you can't beat me.
(01:15):
You cannot destroy me. I'm not going to be an ostrich.
I'm not sticking my head in the ground.
I'm here, and as long as my voice works, I'm here.
This guy is incredible. This episode blows my mind.
I mean, it definitely puts a lotof my stuff in perspective,
which is helpful. Like, OK, listen, if this guy
(01:36):
can get through it, I can get through it.
So that's what I really hope youtake away from this episode.
And one of the most kind of understated storytellers, very
soft spoken, but maybe that's the way it is.
When you have some really intense trauma, you kind of you
kind of try to keep keep calm. Please share traumedy with a
friend who may need to know theyare not alone.
(01:59):
So here we go. Hey, I want to let you know.
Oh, yes. If you want to come to a comedy
show with old Nance, please go on my website, nancynorton.tv.
Click on the upcoming shows. Have we launched my store yet?
If you go to my link tree, NancyNorton link tree, there is a
store there. My crybaby badass shirts are
(02:23):
online. So if you want to get a crybaby
badass luminary shirt, you know,if you haven't heard the story,
it's just thank you psychedelic trauma therapy because I had to
grieve, cry, cry, cry, and then see myself in the mirror.
What luminary. And every now and then badass.
(02:45):
And you can, too. All right, enjoy this episode.
I'll see you on the other side. Welcome to Tromedy, My guest
this week coming to you live from Branson Comedy Factory
inside Branson Columns. We're going to this, the Ozark
version of Tromedy. My guest is an actor.
(03:06):
He's a writer. He's a comedian.
He has served in three branches of the military and is a
celebrity auctioneer. Please welcome.
We'll see. Yeah.
Thank you for having me, Nancy. It's really it is.
It's an honor to be here. Thank you.
Also, you're an adoptee. I am.
And that's one of the things that's where we started bonding
a little bit because you must have seen my bio.
(03:27):
I saw that you had adopted your son and I reason season
lifetime. I'm a firm believer in that,
Nancy. So people come to your life for
a reason. They stay for a season, they may
stay for a lifetime those. And so when I was reading your
profile and your bio and, and itstruck me that the way I took
and the way I read your bio, it's like the the love was
already there before we even laid eyes on this.
(03:48):
For sure and. That that touched my I'm like, I
need to, I have to speak to thislady.
I have to speak to her. So, and because your journey was
different, you know, and you came up in a foster system and
your parents that adopted you, and I don't know about the
parents who relinquished you or lost you, but I mean, you had a
different experience than my sonwho was in an orphanage.
(04:08):
Well, you were in an orphanage. I was, so I'll give you the
condensed version. I just had a really young mother
that had my sister to very youngage.
She's two years older than me. Then I came along two years
later. Just a scenario of being young.
I think her parents kicked her out and now she's on her own.
She married the guy, but then heended up with a lady across the
(04:30):
street. I end up with a half brother.
I'm three days older than now. My mom is basically 17 years old
with two kids, no high school education.
The man she thought whatever he leaves her she lost it mentally
she lost it and she walked out of her where we lived, locked
the door and left me and my sister to die.
Her every intention was to get her life back and live her
(04:53):
teenage rest of her teenage years and not have two kids.
The babysitter after two weeks called the police trying to
figure out where we were. KCPD busted the door open.
They did a whole new thing on it, found me and my sister.
I was six months old. My sister was 2 1/2.
My sister had wrapped me in a newspaper for a diaper.
(05:13):
It's the best she could do it. 21/2 had to be surgically removed
for me because it was embedded with you know, and how.
Long you're there two weeks. Two weeks my sister at 2 1/2.
Anything she could reach is whatshe did.
She chewed up cat food and spit in my mouth.
She She stuck toilet water and spit in my mouth and kept me
alive. When they finally found us, I.
(05:33):
I was dehydrated, I had lice andscabies and barely alive.
I was rushed to the Children's Hospital in Kansas City.
I I stayed there for six months,never thought that I would live,
but I did my sister got put intoan orphanage, finally reunited
with my sister, but we. If people could see my face
(05:54):
right now, I'm just, I'm blown away.
I mean, some of the stuff you'vealready told me has blown my
mind. Like wow, I had no idea you went
through all of. That so we bumped foster homes
and foster care and the orphanage system for basically
from 19701976, finally adopted the people that came.
(06:16):
That's six years. You said 1970.
You talk so fast and I want to just.
Make sure I. Don't know.
It's good that you're I like talking fast, but I also want to
make sure I understood you set from 70 to 76.
You were in the foster system, in and out of.
Foster homes and orphanages, yougo where they thought that maybe
a families would come. They dress you up and show you
like pound puppies and hopefullysomebody pick you up and pet you
(06:38):
and play with you. But God, I think we came with a
lot of baggage and we do, I mean, there's a lot, there is
emotional trauma there. We finally the the family that
came to adopt, they wanted a they already had a son.
They wanted a daughter and look like the perfect family.
But at that time, my sister's like, I'm not going anywhere
(06:58):
without my brother. So we get adopted kind of kind
of poor little rednecky kind of out in the country outside of
Kansas City, MO. My mom worked for TWA, my dad
drove gasoline around to farmersfor United Co-op and we farmed
and kind of that lifestyle. And so I come from being born in
(07:18):
the city to, you know, now I'm, I'm in this, you know, this
country lifestyle and. And also still not getting your
emotional need. Not only you're not getting your
emotional needs met, you're getting kind of kicked your
your. Well, then you realize these
people that. Adopted.
They didn't really want you, didn't feel wanted because.
From the get go I would and here, you know, left-handed and
I don't know somewhere around convinced my father that
(07:40):
left-handed people might be a little and they are, you know, I
hate that word, but you know, mydad used it.
They might be a little retarded honestly.
And so I was made to sit on my left hand.
I had to learn how to write withmy right.
That's that is that they actually thought that.
I mean, back in the medieval times they thought it was evil.
So I don't. Know you know, you know how they
built the the Spires of the castles going so that a guy
(08:02):
would have to attack a castle using his left hand because
nobody was allowed to use the left hand as a sword swordsman.
I don't know what my dad was. Actually it's like you're left
and right brained which means you are very analytical but
you're also very creative usually is what that means.
That's why a lot of good engineers are that way.
And problem. You're a problem dude.
You're obviously you're very smart so you're ashamed for your
(08:24):
left handedness as well on top of everything else.
I'm sorry I interrupted, but notjust upset me.
You know, just a kind of a weirdupbringing, I think, because not
not but not really wanted, so not really loved.
And it always trying to prove something because the son they
had epilepsy and medical problems and and so here's this
(08:45):
kid. I'm like, but I'm, I'm chubby,
you know, I've got a lazy eye. Oh, I didn't know you also had a
lazy. Eye, I don't see or Yeah, so I
but I was pushed into sports. I got put on a wrestling mat as
soon as I got adopted, but I wasbullied.
I was picked on a lot. Everything I do had to be the
best. So as a chubby kid, if I played
baseball, I either had to hit a home run or I struck out.
(09:07):
There's no in between because I'm too fat to run the bases.
You're going to tag me out. So I'm going for the fence on
everything. And so there's this failure.
But wrestling for me was that's a one man sport.
I it's just I had to figure out me and so that was a good sport
for me, but I still had kids in the neighborhood that bullied me
because of the glass is being adopted.
You know, they always had the jokes.
You know, it was like, knock, knock, who's there?
Not your family. You know, I'd get all that kind
(09:28):
of just me and me and kids and Igot, I got bullied a lot.
And so my dad, they put me in martial arts.
I got put into Taekwondo when I was 8.
And then I just between the wrestling and, and football and
baseball and the things I played, I, you know, I just,
that was my, my life. It became your identity.
It did. And did it give you a sense of
confidence at at some point or did?
I always felt like I was failingmy father because he's never
(09:50):
they've been has never told me he loved me, neither one of.
Them to this day. No, to this day the closest
thing I I really get is like if my dad would and my mom went to
a movie and they saw me and you know, I get a phone call.
Yeah, you're in movies, you're an accomplished comedian, and
then you've served 3 branches ofthe military and they still
aren't. Like we are so proud of you.
(10:10):
And you know the the to create. You know, it's like I I'm trying
not to run bits by you because Idon't want this.
Interview. Oh, no.
But actually we do want to talk about the Go ahead.
So, so, but true story, I joinedthe military when I was 17.
I just needed to get out. I wanted to leave the small
town. My parents signed me into the
Air Force. I was 17 years old and I went
off my summer before my senior year.
(10:30):
I went to basic training. And so, you know, it's like I
thought my dad would show up andthat was going to be the I'm
proud of you moment, you know, you know, I always told my Dad's
Army picture in the hallway, butmy dad never talked about my
dad's Korean vet and he just I guess just don't talk about it.
So we never really mentioned themilitary, but I thought, here we
are at the airport and it's going to be that I love you.
You know, my dad's like, well, you better not screw up way
(10:51):
because me and your mom are knocked the wall between your
room and our room. They're going to make one big
bedroom. So you don't really have a
bedroom to come home to. I thought I was joking.
I came home and leaving. I'm there's, my room's gone.
You have no, there's no room in the end.
So I wake up spooning with my parents.
Whatever I. There you go.
I love that you're going to dropin with your bids 'cause that's
what traumedy is. It's like how do you take that
(11:12):
pain and turn it into something you know?
And there you go. You know, it's, it's crazy
because I noticed throughout my life, because being the chubby
kid, being this, whatever comedybecame, it was my safety net.
It was my security blanket. If you made fun of me, I got to
where, you know, I would just. I would.
Yeah, you know, I would try to say whatever you want to say
(11:34):
about me first. Kind of Eminem.
Yes, exactly. So it's like Rick?
Bryant I. Know I know I'm fat, I know I'm
blind, you know, I know I have areading comprehensive problem.
I know I'm dyslexic. All these things that I had
growing up, it got to where I became the class clown.
So now it's like I'm in trouble at home because my dad would
stand over me. He's like, oh, look at me, I'm a
Jackass, you know, you think, but you know, it's like, so it's
(11:56):
like the fear. I'm sure of that.
But at the same time, I thought I was popular now because kids
laughed, but they're laughing atme, you know, And so it's.
Like so you were making yourselfthe butt of all the jokes.
I was but. But that's, that was the, you
know, I got to tell you, I I learned how to roast other
people. Like that was my thing.
And in a way, I think you're that's more evolved, though.
It's just like, OK, I'm going to, I'll throw myself under the
(12:17):
bus. What age were you when you
started using humor to deflect or to absorb or to empower
yourself? Junior high, like 8th grade, I
started kind of watching Saturday Night Live.
Yeah. I mean, I grew up kind of like,
it was like Hee Haw and I'd watch Carol Burnett and I'm
like, oh God, I wanted to be like Tim Conway and and I'm
like, these guys are amazing. And so.
(12:37):
But I would start like when I got started watching live, I
really got hooked on Dana Carveydoing his voice impressions and
Eddie Murphy and I got a hold. I like this family that adopting
was very religious and but kind of hypocritically religious.
But when I finally. So many people are, let me just,
can I just say I'm just not a big fan of religion in general
because it just feels like it, it, it makes you be less.
You're like, you're human. Like can we just be?
(12:58):
Human organized religion. But I you know what I can do is
I can have faith. I can have faith in my higher
power and what I choose to believe in.
And when I found that nobody cantell you what to believe or not
to believe, but I can't. Like I can't wrap my brain
around living off a book that's missing chapters or I can't
stand people that quote Bible verses to me with the one that
(13:21):
fits their life. But if you ask them what the
next verse is, they can't tell you.
And that drives me insane. I'm like cherry picking.
Yeah. And so, you know, growing up,
kind of be pushed at that direction.
I'm like, I don't know. So the voice impressions, I
started doing that. So it's like I got hooked on
Robin Leach and so I get. Some albums.
Comedy albums. So I, I got a hold of a Red Fox
album, which is the dirtiest thing I've ever heard in my
(13:42):
life. And I'm like, Oh my God, people
talk like this. Well, then I got into Richard
Pryor and I'm like, you know, I was, I was like so enthralled
because he wasn't allowed to go into the main clubs.
He had to work his stuff out in these back alley clubs.
When he came out live on Sunset,people thought, wow, I've been
working that stuff out in these,in these back rooms and like, so
that it was brilliant, you know,And it's like, so I'm, I'm
(14:04):
following all this and it's like, OK, you know, I was always
like in all the theater productions and I always got the
funny part, you know, And there's times where because I'm
just dyslexia, everyone got, I would have to improv and I would
forget my lines and I would justmake stuff up on the spot.
I have dyslexia too, but so you.You know, but the other actors
on stage, like, what is he doing?
Will you know? I was Billy, Like Billy just
(14:26):
took over the whole book. What's going on not but I could
come back around the line and itwould say, you know, and say, so
I would do stuff like that. And it's just, you know, I'd
walk down on Robin lakes with life belts over to fine months
was champagne marshals and copy all dreams.
And I would just do this over, you know, just trying to be the
funny guy. And so, you know, it was crazy.
Like, you know, I went to the military and the comedy was
(14:46):
always there. And, you know, when I got kind
of pushed out and I didn't want to come out of the military and
I didn't want to. And it was he.
Had some medical issue or something?
Or what happened, I just, I got hurt and it's like, so they,
they call it Med boarded out. And so it depressed me because I
thought I was going to have to go back to my small town and I
(15:07):
was going to have to suck it up to the people that didn't really
love me. And so in my mind, I'm like, I
was done. And so I really did want to
check out and I, I planned out my whole suicide.
I planned it all out. I was so in a bad place and I
went out in my garage and I literally got in my car and I'm
like, this is it. And I was ready and I started my
car. And the stupidity of it is I sat
(15:29):
there and I sat there and I sat there and my Prius clicked over
the battery and nothing happened.
And I'm so Nancy. I'm so I'm so mad.
Now this is for real. It's for real, no?
You're sit there because, but you're you're, you're so
despondent. Your frontal lobe's not really
online, so you're not noticing that you're on battery.
Why am I? Not and I'm like, I'm this is
(15:51):
real sleepy. I'm like, I'm so mad.
So the Prius came out in 97 and this was 2001 and I'm so happy
to have a Prius. And anyway, I come in the house
that day and I'm and I walk by my my ex-wife and I'm like,
she's like, are you? Are you are you OK?
And I'm like, I'm not. And that was the day I took out
a piece of paper, and I wrote combative comedy on the top of
(16:12):
this paper. And underneath it, I wrote the
number 300. And I started thinking about
life. And I'm like, all right, well,
you cannot change your past. You can't predict your future.
So you have to figure out how toget through.
And I thought, if I can live in five minute increments, if I can
live in 300 seconds, I'll get through this 5 minutes.
I'll get to the next 5 minutes and next 5 minutes.
And before you know it, tomorrow's here.
(16:33):
I lived another day. My demons didn't catch up with
me. I win, and so I started just
thinking about it. This is amazing.
So this, this all just came to you. 300 seconds. 5 minutes. 5
minutes. 300. Seconds, 5 minutes, I can do
that. So in my mind, I'm like, so I
started working on this. Well, I end up going, I got
divorced in 2003 and I'm kind ofreally hadn't finished what I
(16:54):
wanted to do with combat comedy.But when I got remarried, I
started thinking about, you know, my comedy was starting to
really take off for me. I knew, I knew sales.
I knew that you don't give them a yes or no, you give them a
choice. So I did, this is 2001.
I'm like, what do I do? So I got on the phone, I called
Huntington WV funny bone, but I called him and said, hi, my name
(17:14):
is Sal Ruggiero. I represent comedian and we'll
see my clients going to be in your area this week and this
week. Which week works best for you
have to give them a choice. They're like, well, this week
doesn't none of those weeks work.
But this week our future ex wife's having a baby.
We're scrambling to find a feature.
Can your client come in this week?
Do 30 minutes a night, $400.00 for the week.
I had five minutes of material and maybe 5 minutes.
(17:35):
So I like I said, you know what my clients booked this week, but
I have a good rapport with that comedy club.
Let me see if I can get him moved out of this club and get a
week down the line. Give me 15 minutes, I'll call
you back. So I've watched the clock.
I call him back. I said I would say, hey, I got a
hold of the comedy club. I got a hold of, we'll see.
I tell you what, they're going to give him another week.
I'm sending him to the airport right now.
Can somebody pick him up? He's on his way to West
(17:56):
Virginia. I get there with my 5 minutes of
material, 5 Nancy at 5 minutes, maybe horrible 5 minutes.
First night I go through the five and two because I'm so
nervous. So now it's improv, but I'm
improv chain, which really helps.
I went through all that comedy sports stuff.
So I'm like, all right, hey, we do a thing called blue shirt.
It's a Meisner technique. It's like you can take the blue
(18:16):
shirt and use all the emotions with it.
Blue shirt, shirt. So I so I'm going around the
audience basically. So what?
What's up? Green shorts, you know, And I'm
like, I do this for the whole week, where you from?
Blah blah blah. At the end of the week, she
hands me the money. She goes, I can't believe I
never heard of you. I go, I can't believe you never
heard of me either. I walked out and I never looked
back. Wow.
So this is. Amazing I'm like I can do this
(18:38):
and so I just I. Hit This is amazing.
I hit the road running. You're blowing.
You're blowing my mind in so many ways.
The comedy club in Kansas City, like really backed me, the
Stanford and Sons. They made me their house MC and
I was able to get all the stage time I needed because they
liked. Me and this is early 2000s.
So this is now born in 2003, 2004.
And so I'm like, all right, I'm on the road.
I'm now I'm a road comic and things are going great.
(19:01):
I'm out there. You know, I, I got really lucky
with the people that took me on the road and kind of talk Lisa
Lamp and only took me under her wing.
I had John Derista take me on his wing.
All the and people are just, they're teaching me.
You learn the. Lisa's teaching me merchandise
always have money in your hand. If people see money in your
hand, they, they, they think that you're selling.
So they want to be a part of what you whatever somebody else
(19:22):
got these people want have moneyin your hand, be a good Barker,
blah, blah, blah. She's like, whatever you set the
price at you stick it that don'tcome down.
So if you want your T-shirts to be $20, you stay at $20.
And so I'm, I'm taking this. Well, then Katt Williams has me
working and I'm like, so I'm learning kind of that urban side
of comedy too. And I'm like, I'm put it all
together. I'm like, I'm going, well, if
you can be funny in the black rooms, you can be funny
(19:42):
anywhere. And I'm taking all these notes.
And so I start taking and I makea spreadsheet.
Every club I got booked into, I took a note.
How hard was it for me to get inthis club?
How much merchandise did I sell?What did I get paid that week?
Did they rebook me before I left?
Because I was so I put together just a ridiculous of every club
I worked, I took notes. And so I still have it.
I have it what I call my Booker list from every club I've ever
(20:04):
stepped foot in. I put this together to where I
know when I went back, if you sold X amount of dollars last
time, take a little more this time.
These people want you back. And so I'm a numbers guy.
And so I would adjust and adjust.
And so the crazy thing is, and Iwant to, I want to go back to
this really quick. It's like I was telling you,
dyslexic with a reading comprehension problem.
Well, it didn't take until. You have such a business mind
too, my. My 8th grade, like my junior
(20:26):
high English teacher, Mrs. Myers.
If I owe anybody, just I I wish I could find her again and just
hug her. She always would say, what do
you want on your epitaph? That was a big thing that she'd
always say that, that she's the one that finally said I think
she was. I think he's just like sick.
And she started working with me and figuring out that I did have
a reading comprehension problem.And so I was always thinking,
what do you want on your epitaph?
(20:47):
And I didn't want people to comeby my tombstone and it just be
like, you know, he was, I wantedto be he is.
And there's a big difference between that because he was
means I'm past tense and people will forget you, but he is, it
means people will remember you always because you still are.
And so I started thinking about that.
(21:07):
And so when I finally got into high school and things were kind
of going weird, I, you know, my guidance counsel always said
that I would never amount to anything.
She's like, you're basically, you're dyslexic.
You have this reading confidential problem.
You're probably going to be a farmer like your dad.
Just get prepared for that life.Well, my junior in high school,
this Air Force recruiter kept oncoming up and he's like, do you
want to, how would you like to join United States Air Force?
(21:29):
And I'm like I said, is there a test involved?
He's. Like there's an ASVAB test.
I'm like, I'll never pass it. He's like, why?
I'm like, I'm dyslexic. I have a green comprehension
problem. He's like, I'll tell you how you
take this test. He's like, look, 90% of the
answers are see if it says all the above, it's all the above.
He goes yes, on the rest. So I followed that.
I aced the ASVAB test. That's why the Air Force took
(21:50):
me, which is one of the hardest branches to get into the Air
Force. So now I'm in the Air Force,
never should have been first job.
They give me pharmacy specialist.
I'm dyslexic with a reading comprehension problem.
Yeah. You want me to hand out
medications I can't read. I'm like.
You talk about some Med airs. But then I was able to cross
and, you know, I ended up being a medic and, you know, I look at
the different things that I was able to do through the military
(22:11):
and taking those life lessons, even though I had some really
traumatic things. I had my battle buddy died in my
arms. I'll never get the smell of
burnt flesh out from underneath my nose.
And it it it. It's.
Horrible, you know, and so but Itake this and I've always had
this mentality back to, you know, he is.
And I'm like, OK, all this trauma and all these things and
(22:31):
the abuse that you've taken from, you know, even when I was
a kid, having things done to a child that shouldn't be
happening, I take all these things through these foster
homes and the people that hurt me and even the people that
adopted me and hurt me. I'm like, you can't beat me.
You cannot destroy me. I'm not going to be an ostrich.
I'm not sticking my head in the ground.
I'm here. And as long as my voice works,
I'm here. My body's I'm beat, I mean.
(22:54):
Yeah, you showed me that you have this condition.
What is the name of it? It's called Dirkham's disease
and so. You have to have lipomas are
stuck to your. Your muscle and my so my hands
will tighten up and so I can't move them or I can't my range of
motion so they have to cut them so I can just move like a normal
person. I mean they thought they're
everywhere so and they marry each other.
(23:15):
So if it goes to one leg or to go to the other, if it goes to 1
arm it'll go to the other I. See it?
I see it. Yeah, I see those.
So it's like, so I lived with this and then it's like I was
telling you, you know, we talkedto, you know, I did that drag
bar and it's like, you know, what are you going to name your
drag bar? And I'm like, my life's a wreck
because I look at it, it has so many different meetings because
not only the car wrecks and things like that, but it's like
(23:37):
the things that should take a person down.
And I refuse to quit. I just, I cannot accept that.
So even like in comedy, I got dared to do comedy, you know,
1995 Comedy Store January 4th, 1995 I get dared to do it and I.
That was your first time on stage.
First time on stage. Was it the Comedy Store?
In La Jolla and I have no idea what I'm doing, but I write 3
(23:59):
minutes of horrible jokes and the next comic coming up and you
know they kind of slingshot at the store and so the next comic
coming up was Bobby Lee. Bobby Lee and Mad TV little
Asian guy. From Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, I
kind. Of forgot he's he's coming up
and pretty popular. He's from Poway and so he
shoulder chucks me as would pass.
He just leans in. He's like stick with the Marine
(24:19):
Corps. This is not for you.
I go, OK, you told me I can't dosomething.
I'll see you next week. That's all.
All you did was drive. I mean, so it's so funny this
guy finally went. And that's was that was a gift
to you. It was because, yeah, double
dare, buddy. Or just like or even just like
telling you like the counselor. Hey, don't even dream.
Don't dare to dream. And that guy tell you can't.
(24:39):
Wow, what? A what?
A Like the dare. Program to keep the kids off.
Drive, dare him and a whole different thing to me.
I'm like dare me because I'm like.
What a Dick move too, because people don't know when you see
somebody the first time, you don't know what potentials
underneath that very first time on stage, you know, or whatever.
Everybody's got a different first time where it's either
went really well, they all. Shine it pretty good, but nobody
knows like the beating that somebody's taken underneath by
(25:00):
the so it's like, you know, I finally ran it.
You know Bobby, we we're friendsdown.
I remember we were working on I was at the Lol or I was at the
River center. He was at the Lol in San
Antonio, but we're staying at the same hotel because it's
owned by this the same guy. So he'd put you up the hotel and
we're sitting out on the patio and he he looks so he's like,
you don't like me, do you? I'm like Bobby, it's not that I
don't like you. And I just reminded him, you
(25:20):
know, about that. And he just told me it stuck
when he goes. I'm not in this business to make
friends, you know, and I'm like,as harsh as that is, I'm like,
it makes sense to me. I'm like, you're right, because
it's like it's a business and people forget we are salesman,
the comedy, the funny and you'revery funny.
But you know what? I want you, Nancy.
And it's like you are. That's why I was trying last
(25:43):
night. I wasn't trying to like fluff
when I was being on stage. But I watch everything.
A lot of comics won't stick in the room and watch comics, you
know, when you get to the headliner level, they leave the
room. But I still am so enthralled by
the art of comedy and how peoplemove on stage and how they sing
their song. And I'm watching you and I'm
like, you're, you're a salesperson.
We are sales people. You know the funny.
Oh, yeah. I always say I have to sell the
shit out of my material. But you know, and The thing is,
(26:05):
I'm listening to you and I've been, here's me, I've been doing
this 40 years, and I don't even know how I get by with it
because there's a part of me in total denial that this is a
business. 40 years, you say I'm at 30 and it's like, it's almost
like we're selling a classic car.
I kind of feel, you know, we arewe're classic and it's like, so
(26:25):
our value is more then then a new, you know.
I love that you get on stage andthe first night that we worked
together, you were saying, listen, I'm going to be honest
with you. This is for me, like I'm healing
my trauma from being in the military, from all the stuff
that we didn't even know, all the adoption trauma.
But you, I think it's easier foryou to come out as like, I'm a
veteran and I have, you know, because you have been, you've
(26:48):
had to, you've had to shoot at people.
You've had, you know, take lives.
You've had to risk your life. You know, you raise your hand
and you say I'll defend this country against all enemies for
domestic. And it's like I've done that
three times and like, I mean it,but it's like when you come out
and I like I said, I didn't wantto come out.
It's very similar to a civilian grieving process.
(27:10):
So here's this denial that I'm hurt and Uncle Sam doesn't want
me anymore. So now I'm angry.
All right, Well, then I start bargaining with him.
Like, find me another job. Find me something I can do.
All right? No, Well, now I'm depressed.
So here I'm on this teuter totter of anger and depression
and bargaining, and I'm just here and I stay there and I
don't know how to do it. And so then I don't know how to
communicate with the people thatlove me and the people that want
(27:31):
to help me. Until you get to that level of
acceptance where you can say it's OK to not be OK, that's
when the healing really starts. And so like I had to take that
bachelor when I was writing the combat comedy, trying to figure
out how can I heal through humorwhen I get in the dark place.
How can I talk myself off a ledge?
How can I talk somebody else offa ledge?
And I started thinking about like when we meet people, it's
human nature to put your best foot forward.
(27:53):
We want to impress people, you know?
So it's like, but but how quick are we maybe to tell somebody 5
things about ourselves that we normally wouldn't tell, you
know, you know, and I'm not saying go as dark, but if you
want to, but the first funny story that comes to your mind,
people won't do that because it makes you vulnerable.
People don't realize that's whatI was trying to say last night.
When you're on stage, like it's amazing because it's like a
(28:16):
public speaker. That's one of the top 10
scariest things you do that is up there with people that they
say high wires and fighter pilots and things that so it's.
Scary It is the number one fear.So it's like, OK, so when you're
doing that, I'm thinking, OK, I,I write this whole thing out and
I finally, it took me 11 years to write Combat to comedy.
And I finally I shared it with afriend of mine.
(28:38):
He's a master's shirt in the AirForce.
I didn't know, I had no idea that Trevor had these
connections. And I'm, I get an e-mail from
the Pentagon and it's basically saying, we've heard about your
combat to comedy. We'd like you to present this to
Joint Chiefs of Staff. And I get to go and I present
this in General Goldstein, United States Air Force is like
your program can work. And all of a sudden I'm going to
these adaptive care events for the Department of Defense.
(28:58):
It's a laugh therapist and when I started my company, I have a
company called the Veterans of Comedy and we're all military
veterans. There's now stand up comedians
and so my goal was to do. Oh wow, I had no idea that you
did all that. So you have that right now.
You wanted to do like who did? Like Bob Hope, I wanted to.
Do yes USO tours and because. I remember like when I was, you
know, it's like the people that came and performed, you felt
(29:19):
like you're back home for a minute and I wanted to do that.
I never thought that all of a sudden I'd be doing combat to
comedy and travelling the world.And so you have, is this going
on right now? Yeah, my company started in
2000. How do people find it?
What is it? All combat to comedy or what's
the website? The veterans of comedy.com.
The veterans of comedy.com and so you you're touring with the
(29:40):
military for the military, but also do you do things outside of
the government? So stateside, like I do, I do my
own. I'll book VFW's American
Legions. I try to take it to towns that
don't normally have comedy because my deal is like a lot of
times I'm I'm really fixated on and I know it's a nice campaign,
the 22 a day, but suicide in themilitary is very high.
(30:02):
And I'm like, those numbers haveto come down.
And a lot of people think in the, you know, like the VA, it's
like, oh, if I put a pamphlet inin the lobby that people are
going to grab that and that's going to save their life or they
can call the suicide hotline number.
That's not what saves lives. The, I guess basically being
with somebody that understands, I'm not saying that somebody has
to add boots on the ground, but somebody that understands the
(30:25):
darkness in the military. Yeah, and that's where that dark
humor we were talking about. I know that I can go, I can go
dark, but it's like the militaryteaches you so much to, you
know, kill the enemy, kill the enemy, the enemy's the monster.
That's what's it's drilled into you.
What people don't realize is that monsters who's staring at
you in the mirror, it's not thatyou want to die.
You're not, It's not that you want to commit suicide.
It's because you came home and your brain doesn't shut down and
(30:47):
the monster staring at you and over here's your wife and over
here's your kids and you've beenyou're so.
Programmed. You were told 6 month deployment
that turned into a year deployment and you haven't you
know, you had a baby while you're gone and this and that.
You come home and your brain is still in the shit and excuse my
mouth, but you're still over there.
And now you're expected to be a father and a husband and be back
in the workforce and you're you're still you know, it's like
(31:11):
I'm I'm there. And so it's like all of a sudden
it's like everything's coming atyou and you don't know what to
do. And the next thing you know,
you're, you're tasting the end of your barrel and it's like,
it's scary. And it's like, because you just
wanted to stop. You want to be able to close,
You close your eyes and your eyes are still open, if that
makes sense. It's like it's.
It's you can't shut it down. You can't.
It's like torture. So and then.
(31:32):
Because you're talking like whenthey talk about torture, where
they hold. Those eyes and then like.
That's a form of like it internal.
Torture medicate you so much to where like, OK, this is going to
make you go to sleep. This is going to make you wake
up. This is going to make you happy,
this and that. And it's like, I don't want to
be that robot. And so for me, I found that, OK,
you can heal with humor. You can fight through with
(31:52):
funny. So how can I do that?
So if I'm in a dark place, I have to figure out, OK, you
know, if when I talk to people that are like, they're there,
they're ready to to end it. I'm like, all right, hey, tell
me about a good day. Tell me about, Hey, do you
remember when you got your driver's license?
You remember passing that test, you know so.
Trying to just string together some.
Whether it's pull out your driver's license and have a
(32:14):
visual picture or it's a mental picture, I go, hey, you remember
what you were wearing that day. Hey, did you have a good hair
day? You know, because you knew you
had to get your picture taken for your driver's license.
And then we start talking about that.
Did you lie about your weight, anything, blah, blah, blah.
But now you're trying. To get them in.
But you went away from the dark thing that they had you to you
know what? That was kind of funny.
I, you know, I flunked the firsttime.
(32:34):
I had to go back and take it again.
But we switched from the I want to die.
Like, hey, remember how it felt when you finally got the hands
on the wheel and you're free? Yeah.
Having that tactile memory, because telling someone not to
think about something, it's onlymakes you think about it.
But redirecting, it's redirecting and also to the
present moment. I think you alluded to that
earlier about not worrying aboutthe past, the future.
(32:56):
And I think that's one thing that humor does is gets us in
the present moment, which is oneof my pendants that just says I
am in the present moment for now.
And I always say you don't have to do it all the time, just do
it for now. And it's always now, of course,
but it's like one of those, but easier said than done to stay in
the present moment. So that's one of your tricks is
like, not tricks, but like one of the tools that you use is
(33:16):
like anchoring, anchoring an experience that was positive or
funny or normal, you know, kind of typical life experience.
So you work with people one-on-one, you do some and
then. I have my like I give my phone
number out to anybody because I have insomnia really bad and so.
I mean, you don't want to put itout on, but how, how should if
(33:37):
people want to reach you, shouldthey go through that website?
So you can go to the website andihavenoproblemwithmymysendmeanemailandidontevenitscomedianwillsee@gmail.com.
Comedian will see that's WILL. The letter C, letter C, or if
you're on the Veterans of Comedywebsite and you just want to
e-mail me that way it's just info@theveteransofcomedy.com.
(33:58):
Either way, those emails will come to me.
And then if you feel comfortablegiving your phone number and
you'd like to talk to me, absolutely, because I, I don't,
I, I would rather be the, the person that says we can get
through this than have to read about you later that you can,
you didn't make it, you know. This is amazing that you have
all this to give having gone through like when we just heard
your life's like your, I mean, this is amazing that you're able
(34:19):
to share all this because it's so much.
And I know there's so much more because you're like, you've
lived through more car accidents.
There's so many. We're going to have to have you
on as like a regular. So I have to have you back.
Because I'm probably taking all your time.
No, not my time. But we have a, you know.
No, no, we're doing good. Good.
Yeah, we're still doing good. We got.
If you have a little more time, I.
Do I kind of wanted to to get tolike, 'cause we're talking
(34:41):
about, you know, we, we both have done the drive art thing
and it's like, it's a great experience.
It's like the trying to come up with, you know, a name for it.
Yeah. So here's.
My life's a wreck is perfect. Mine is called super dork.
I, I know and I love it. I love it.
I got a phone call. I literally had just got out of
the hospital in New York after having a Widowmaker heart attack
(35:01):
two years ago. What and so I've.
Even heard about the heart. Attack.
Listen to this. So I go to New York because I'm
trying to meet with Michael Cox,do The Tonight Show, which we
found. I'm trying to find him.
I want to go face to face with Michael.
We've been talking. I'm like, I do better face to
face. So I'm like, all right.
April 3rd, 4th and 5th, 2023. I'm going to New York the week
prior. I love, I love that you're such
(35:22):
a hustler. I I mean, I love that you go for
it, man. I always, I've been sitting back
my whole life, making people have to come to me.
You know what I mean? This is, this is.
Yeah. You're going after it.
Well, back in the day before I said, send me a VHS.
I'm like, no, what, what city are you in?
Oh, you're in North Carolina. So I I knew I needed to get in
with the comedy zones. You know what I did?
I got my car. I was told pick up Donuts, pick
(35:43):
up a piece and go to the office.That's what I do with the comedy
zone. I'm like, I met half and and
pace and you're just and I'm like, hey, God, I'm so lazy.
I'm standing in front. I'm listening to this going.
I can't. Believe they pull out their
calendar and they're like, Hey, we can put and and they gave me
days, but that's I'm like, I've always been that guy.
So, you know, as far as like, I guess the hustle of it is, you
(36:04):
know, it's crazy. So I, I go out there the week
prior, I'm in Snowmass, Co and I'm performing for the disabled
American vets, their Winter Olympics.
They have, you know, so it's like, here's amputees and, and
put 600 athletes and it's like the most, but I'm like my chest
hurt the whole time, but I thought it was a thin air.
So I just kind of blew it off and I'm like, alright, I come
back from Snowmass Sunday morning and I'm packing Sunday
(36:26):
night. I'm flying to New York on that
Monday. So April 2nd, I'm packing it,
but my, my heart, it hurts, hurts.
So I call my buddy in New York. I'm like, hey, I don't think I
should come. I'm like my chest is hurting.
Big love with New York guy. He's like, you know, stop
Butapans, you know, you know, I'll pick you up at the airport.
I got something for you. So I, I go on.
So my buddy John meets me, givesme a ginger ale and a bagel with
(36:46):
cream cheese. He's like, slam that ginger ale.
I do. I burp the biggest burp ever.
Instantly felt better. He's like, I told you.
She's like, let's go. So we're in the Bronx.
I'm over here eating chicken parm.
I'm over here having greasy pizza.
I feel like shit, I'm like, it took me to this place called the
Sausage Chandelier Company and there's just sausages hanging
from the scene. I'm just, I'm like doubling.
(37:09):
I'm like, I mean everything insight and I'm like, I'm
leaning up against like I'm like, I get on my chest, my
heart. That was on Monday, Tuesday,
like I'm trying to find Michael.Like we finally walked around
Manhattan for like we did 7 miles that day.
That night we go to Gallagher's Steakhouse.
I eat a porterhouse was meant for three people.
I eat it by myself. I don't know what's going on
with my life. That night I had the best sleep
(37:30):
of my life, Nancy, because I'm dying.
I just don't know it. The next day is April 5th and
I'm supposed he's got a, my buddy's got a dental appointment
at the VA in the Bronx and he's going to take the airport.
I'm supposed to fly to New Orleans and go get on the
Carnival Valor because I do the cruise ships.
And so I always told if your chest hurts, you point to it and
go in the emergency room. So he goes into his dental
appointment. I go to the emergency room, I'm
(37:52):
like, so they get me back here. They run an EKG on me, come
back, they tell me I'm fine, you're fine.
I'm like, I'm fine, fine, praiseGod, whatever.
I signed the paperwork to leave.I stand up in the emergency
room, start walking emergency room.
I drop and have a widowmaker in the emergency room on April 5th.
Wait. 23 Say that last part again, they told you you're fine
and then. I signed the paperwork.
(38:12):
I'm going to leave and I did. I'm like, all right, thank you.
I stand up, I start walking out of the emergency room and I drop
and I have what they called widowmaker heart attack.
My LED, which is your your 4th that's your main artery was 99%
clogged. They revived me, obviously.
Because you were right there. They got me if.
You had not been right. There.
(38:33):
You're done. So they take me to the VA, the
Manhattan VA, which is one of the best cardiovascular
hospitals in the country. So through my wrist, they put a
stent in me. I'm in the hospital for two
weeks. I'm not trying to get religious
with your listeners, but this isa true story.
Do whatever you want. Religious.
(38:54):
Spiritual. I don't know what it was, but
it's my last day in the hospitaland at 7:30 in the morning, the
six two Chinese male nurse comesin my room with the whitest
scrub pants I've ever seen. Got this Crimson scrub top on.
He comes, he's like, good morning, Mr. Flipped, how you
doing? He's like, can I open your
blinds for you? I'm like, sure.
He opens the blinds. He turns around and he's like,
hey, let me stand you up really quick.
(39:15):
I don't want your hospital gown bunching up on you.
I don't want you getting bed sores.
Let me flatten you out. So he stands me up, he flats me
on. He sits me back down the bed and
he starts to walk out of the room and he turns around.
He looks at me. He's like he goes are you OK?
And I guess I had a look on my face.
I said I'm not OK and I'm like no.
I said I've been here for two weeks.
I said I've had to cancel all these cruise ships, corporate
gigs. I had auctions coming up.
(39:35):
I said I'm a public speaker here.
I said I go no and I said no. They're telling me I can't even
fly for another two weeks. I said I had to call my agent
and cancel more cruise ships. I said another auction.
I said I said buddy, I'm out of so much money.
I go your brain probably can't even comprehend the amount of
money I'm out of and the guys time.
He's like, I'm not trying to be rude, I'm not trying to be
disrespectful, but if I'm hearing you right, what you're
(39:57):
saying to me is you're more worried about the money you've
missed than the people that havemissed you.
If you're gone and it hit me, Nancy, it hit me hard.
And I'm like I said, how old areyou?
And he goes, I'm 24. I'm like, why?
I said I have two kids your age or complete dipshit.
So I'll trade both of them for one of you.
And he walks down the room kind of laughing.
At 810, the cardiologist come inthe room to tell me that I can
(40:19):
leave and I'm going to go to my cousin's house in New Jersey for
the next two weeks. And I'm like, hey, around 7:30,
there's a six two Chinese male nurse that came in here.
White scrub pants comes. I said, man, that's the best
conversation I've had since I'vebeen here.
He made me laugh. What a great nurse you guys have
here. But I never caught his name.
Would you guys relay a message to him and just tell him I said
(40:39):
thank you? And they're like, what are you
talking about? I said the the 6-2 male nurse
was in here this morning and I'mgetting goosebumps right now.
And. Just so you know, I'm getting
the truth. We don't have any male nurses on
our on this floor. They said alone.
Our nurses are all color coordinated.
Our nurses wear green scrubs. They go in a double secure room.
They said you have to assign a alog book here with that you have
(41:00):
to have a badge to get in this room.
I know I get them too. And they said.
We're just having. Two children, that glass in your
room, that's the nurses station.We've been monitoring you
nonstop for two weeks. The only person that came in
your room was your night nurse. Came in at 6:30 to show you
goodbye and good luck. But you're sleeping now.
We've come in your room at 8:10.I'm like stop messing with me.
62 male. They're like certain.
(41:20):
And Asian like very specific. And I'm like.
You had specific like the. In my mind, I'm like, so my
people are always the drugs thatare giving you whatever.
I don't care what it was. I needed to hear that message
because I always thought, Nancy,I always thought success was was
how much money I made. I've always thought that, you
know, I've always, because I came up from a poor upbringing.
(41:43):
I, I learned this 1010 law of accumulation and I started
living my life by that. And basically the 1010 law of
accumulation says if it doesn't make you make a dollar $100 a
$1000, you pay yourself 1st 10% that goes in your pocket that
you're spending money, take 10% and give it away.
Whatever, put it in the bank, whatever you do, get rid of it.
(42:03):
People live within their means. So if 80 percentage your means,
you will learn to live in that and you'll forget that you have
10% in your pocket. You forget that you have 10% in
the bank or that you gave it away.
That's a tax write off. So now your money's working for
you. You're not working for your
money and you will look comfortably and always have
money. And so I started all right, but
I always thought, you know, I have to have more.
I have to have more people are looking at me.
(42:24):
I'm from the small town. People see me on TV, they see me
on these movies and they, they see me on TV shows and they live
vicariously through me through the small town I'm from.
I'm like, I've, I've, I've got to have the best car.
So it's like I buy them the mostexpensive I had, you know, so
it's like, that's why I got the nice car and I've got to have
the nice house and I've got to have everything.
And I have to dress a certain way.
(42:44):
And you know, I like I was telling you, I can't mix match
my clothing. I'm name brand, everything is
name brand. And I'm like, in my mind,
because I think everybody, that's how I'm being judged.
And I'm like 2 years ago that changed.
You know, I'm like, OK. And when I stopped making money,
the focus, more of it has come in than I can even imagine.
Isn't that something? But I've also, you know, I'm in
(43:07):
a situation I can't really, you know, because I got hurt.
I can't really talk about that. But it's like everything happens
for a reason. And it's like, so I'm here now.
I'm not on the cruise ships. I'm not doing what I was used to
doing. I'm here in Branson for a
reason, and if that reason was for us to meet and to have this
conversation, then that's what was supposed to happen.
I'm supposed to be in this moment, Reason, season,
(43:29):
lifetime, you know? So our reason is we both have
trauma. We have trauma in our life, you
know, our season is right now. Now are we a lifetime?
I hope to. I really do hope so.
I hope that this friendship is something that you know.
And that guardian Angel that came to you?
And it was. I needed it.
Put you back on like. Why did it have to?
Be a six two Asian. Guy it's, I don't know, it's.
(43:50):
Like a 510 like Swedish woman. Whatever I.
Just said but. I'm sure I'm sure that your
guardian can be a shapeshifter, but maybe you?
I needed the mess. You would have got distracted by
the Swedish girl, you know, You know you wouldn't.
You wouldn't have been listening, right?
One of my best friends have beenYou'd be.
Motorboating in her chest. And your message was.
(44:10):
But I realized, like, one of my best friends have been, and that
is his height. And I'm like, maybe
subconsciously I had my friend Tony in my mind because, you
know, he's always told me that I'm so focused on the dollar.
I'm. Yeah, maybe it was.
Yeah. Yeah.
You know, it's interesting because I, even as you were
saying some of the stuff earlierand I thought, I don't know how,
but I've, I always get by and it's not like I like my dad
(44:32):
would he, he grew up very poor and he wanted me to have
security. And so he's always trying to get
me to raise my fees and rates and everything.
And also like maybe try a littleharder because I sleep till
noon. As I've already shared with you
today it was 1:00. So I'm just like, look at this
guy's out hustling and I'm like,like, and I should be working on
my set list and like, now we're going to figure it out.
But I, I am going to definitely call in the higher power and I
(44:53):
do trust that things are workingout for their highest good, even
if it is for my humility, you know, stay humble because I do
tour a lot and and I am you do I'm well, I'm spoiled right now.
Like I've been really spoiled with audiences and Boulder and,
you know, talking to my people. And it's like Nance, you know
what, let's start. Let's let's find that common
(45:14):
denominator again, which is whatI was trying to do last night.
But I did it in a not a funny way, like more of a preachy.
Way I love when you say it from Boulder because I was a Morgan
Mindy fan when I was a kid. Boulder was Morgan.
And yes, you'll have to come visit Boulder and go see the
Morgan Mindy I. Wore I wore the rainbow
suspenders when I was a kid withmy baseball.
Uniform. Yeah, I don't have a butt.
(45:34):
My pants will fall down, so I'd have to wear.
I wear suspenders in baseball, so I'm part of Ball 2.
I'm like, he's talking about me,right?
I don't know. But I'm like, no, it's like I
had to like try to. So I'm huge more committee fans.
That's amazing. So well, I do think we're meant
I know we're meant to meet and Ilove God.
I love anytime during an episodewhere I call my one of my guests
(45:54):
called the truth chills. And that's when I know, I know
that's like, that was definitelya divine intervention, whatever
you call it. We've had weird shows this week,
you know, And it's like, but it's like.
I'm a weirdo too, you know, So there's a part of me that's just
like, but. I love it.
Like I was telling you last night, it's like, I do think
everything happens for reason. But I think it's really cool
(46:14):
what you're doing here. I was just saying to to Jason
Lewis, what I really appreciate is this is what we need more of
in this country, in the world, is people coming from all walks
of life. Because this is what you're
getting here. You're getting people from all
over the country from all different pay grades, you know,
because. We like about the cruise ships
is the same thing. From all of the yes, cross
section of America, but here it's like even more because, you
(46:38):
know, some people can't afford acruise ship.
They might be able to drive to Branson.
And then there's people here whoare super wealthy.
So we're getting a really and then you're getting like really
conservative. And then I mean, I did, there's
a young man that came up to me Thursday night, which, you know,
I'm saying happy pride. We're kind of the queers.
We get a little bit of everything is all I'm saying.
(46:59):
So I think it's cool bringing different people.
And I love, like I said, when I saw the cannabis truck out
front, I thought, OK, Branson, Branson has changed.
There's there's room for everybody.
There there's two guys they comeevery week and they amazing
couple married and I love those guys.
They I know in their eyes I'm a bear and I'm like I love it like
(47:24):
I never my one of my first friends when I got adopted,
nobody really talked to me. I was just new kid.
And so my friend Jay, it was different, you know, and Jay's
gay. And, and when we were kids back
in 1975, you didn't, you didn't know.
We didn't know. And so I just knew, like Jay's
mom was my Cub Scout leader, youknow, we all went to JC
(47:46):
Penney's. We got our Cub Scout outfit.
Jay's mom made his, he wore culottes like we have like our
wolf slide for your, your scarf,you know.
Well, he he wore his grandma's broche.
Did he really? Are you teasing?
I wish I was making. That was so cool.
He just did whatever he wanted and it's like.
And he had support from his family, but I was like, that's
(48:06):
rare in that time. I hate bowling.
And so to this day, we like I, if he tells me that he's in
trouble, I'm on a plane to San Francisco in a heartbeat, you
know, and I'm like, that's just who I am.
And we've stayed that I've, I'vealways wanted to protect him,
you know, but it's like, I grew up that, you know, with that,
it's funny, like as we're kids, I, I joke about it because like,
(48:28):
I stay all night with him, you know, because they're very, very
wealthy and I was very poor. His grandfather invented this
coil that goes in the air conditioning.
And so his family, they're very,very, very rich.
And but because we live in the country, they had the massive
ranch house. And so he hated going to school.
And so he eventually went to private schools.
(48:48):
He got older but we stayed friends and.
Because he was bullied, that's. Cool.
Because he's like, yeah. Because he was effeminate.
And then when he finally went tothe right schools, he's OK.
But in my my country school. They pick on anything that's
different. Are you like me?
Are you, are you a bully to the bullies?
I'm a little bit of a bully to the bullies, which I guess makes
me a. Bully.
(49:08):
I literally beat the crap out ofbullies before.
So I had when I was a senior, there was this kid, freshman, it
doesn't matter, but he always got picked on and we had choir
class after lunch and he always come in crying that this guy was
taking his lunch money kind of thing.
And so I just asked the guy, I'mlike, can I use the restroom?
And so I knew that that guy had study hall.
(49:29):
I walked in the library. He's one of those wall rats.
We had the Jean jacket with him.He had like the Jean jacket
where they put like the mega death or whatever.
He's had his sewn on the back ofyou.
So hey, can I, can I see you on the hall real quick?
No, he comes down. So I take that Jean jacket.
I pull over his head and I'm bouncing him off the lockers.
And I just made the and I'm like, I've just always been that
guy. I can't.
(49:49):
I cannot stand it. Did not steal anymore.
He didn't take any more lunch money, did he?
And. Tim never got he never got
bullied again. But I'm like in my mind, I'm
like, I just don't understand the meanness.
The kid that bullied me. I don't understand why I had to
get off the school bus And he would he would knock my books
out. He would punch me, you know,
he'd beat me. And that's what my dad finally
had enough. He's like in the car, you know,
(50:10):
and my dad, you know, we're going down the chin leaves and
started taking martial arts. But it's like I just, I feel
like I want to protect and my point to that is like.
Yeah, and that's why you were inthree branches of the military
too, because you want to protect.
I just like, I don't, yeah, I don't.
Why can't people just love and be who they want to be in love?
You know, but I think it's really cool what you're doing
(50:30):
here. And some folks are coming into
the comedy club and they're they're taking care of some HVAC
or some business or something. But I know we need to wrap it
up, but I just wanted to say that it's OK.
I think it's like, it makes it realistic.
But you might want to lean into the microphone.
Just a little bit. So I just want, I mean, the fact
that the fact that you haven't self imploded or I'm just so
(50:52):
impressed that you've turned things into a positive.
That's one thing I say about trauma D is it's transmute,
transmute trauma. So it's instead of taking it
because sometimes, you know, kick the dog syndrome or you
could have become, you know, thebully.
But you were like I said, I was like, I'm a bully to the
bullies. I'm like Toto from Wizard of Oz,
like I'm gentle with gentle people, but I have a lot of
(51:15):
growth yet to do. But I want to man, thank you for
thank you. Oh, I just wanted to give a
shout out to what you're doing here.
Just, you know, because here we are in Branson comedy factory in
Branson column. And tonight I'm going to go
watch the psychedelic. Go watch the Pink Floyd.
Oh gosh. Hey, guys.
They're having a good time. We just we harsh their buzz.
(51:36):
But so tonight, I mean, you had you had a big show last night
and tonight we it's so cool, this Pink Floyd experience, it's
like it's going to be cool. We're going to get.
So we're going to have an interesting group come in after
that. They all, they all roll over to
the comedy club afterwards. Because we'll get it.
We'll have fun with them. Well, thank you.
Thank you, Thank you. We'll see.
Everybody reach out to. We'll see on the website.
(51:59):
You can go to the Veterans of comedy.com.
You can also check me out at wellsee.net.
All the handles are out there, so the real we'll see.
Or make ribs for life. So yeah, make ribs for life so.
It's kind of my thing. So yeah, find me.
And yeah, if I'm in your town, from your city over here in
Branson, come out here to the columns, come out to the Branson
Comedy Factory, see a show everyThursday, Friday, Saturday.
(52:21):
Night. And if you're struggling, you
know who to reach out to. Reach out to me.
All right. Thank you so much.
I want to thank my guests. We'll see.
There'll be a link to all of thewebsites.
Veterans of Comedy and remember,if you know anyone who could
benefit from hearing this episode, please share it with a
(52:41):
friend who may need to know. They are not alone and they too
can get through stuff. I'd like to thank my son
Nathaniel Norton for this music loop and thank you the listener
for being on this Co healing journey.
And remember, no matter what, keep laughing.
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