October 21, 2025 • 52 mins
S3 E32 - Matt MacLean - Quiet the Inner Critic. Matt is a mechanical engineer and comedian who is exploring van life. He shares openly about struggles with the death of the ego ideal, being tormented by an inner critic, panic attacks, inner family system therapy, past life regressions, healing discoveries, restoring creative flow and so many psychedelic insights.
Recorded in Boulder, CO October 17, 2025
Reach out: https://www.nancynorton.tv/
Connect with Matt MacLean: https://www.instagram.com/goodonematty/
Books and resources mentioned:
reincarnation/past life regressions
https://www.newtoninstitute.org/publication/journey-of-the-souls/
Internal Family Systems:
https://ifs-institute.com/nobadparts
CryBaby-BadAss-Luminary Merch:
https://www.nancynorton.tv/merch
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:04):
You're listening to the TraumedyPodcast with Nancy Norton this
week on Traumedy. And then so then I wasn't
getting stuff delivered in and this job.
And then I was that manifested and I was having panic attacks
in the bathroom like during the Christmas rush where there's
like Frosty the snowman playing over the law speaker And I'm
(00:24):
just like crumbling in the bathroom was just like, I'm a
holy jolly Christmas. And I'm like, Oh my God, I don't
know what to. Do oh this has gotta be in your
next short film or whatever. Something you know.
Somebody having a panic attack to Holly Jolly Christmas.
No, it's so perfect though. It's so perfect.
(00:44):
It's so the juxtaposition of ourlife, the insanity that we live
in. Yeah, I love that you did the
animatronics, too. Have a holly jolly Christmas.
I am not having a holly jolly. Christmas, you shut up.
I'm dying here. I'm dying to die to Holly Jolly
Christmas, Yeah. That's just fade to black holly,
(01:07):
jolly Christmas and it's done. Trauma plus comedy equals Trauma
D Trauma D is not a replacement for trauma therapy, but it may
help you get by between sessions.
You're listening to Trauma D, the podcast that helps you take
your pain and play with it. I'm Nancy Norton.
I am a former nurse, comedian, and keynote speaker about the
(01:30):
power of humor, why we need it, how it helps us.
Bring the power of humor to yournext event with award-winning
comedian Nancy Norton. Nancy got out of healthcare for
the same reason. A lot of people get into it, to
save lives. Message Nancy at nancynorton.tv.
The Traumedy podcast is sponsored by Crybaby Badass.
(01:53):
You have to feel it to heal it. You are a Crybaby Badass
luminary. See your light in the mirror.
Do you have a trauma? Hey, you listening?
Do you have a traumedy story to share?
If so, send Nancy a message at nancynorton.tv.
Trauma can be isolating and overwhelming.
(02:15):
Share Traumedy with a friend today.
Welcome to Traumedy. My guest this week is Matt
McClain, a comedian and engineerliving the van life right now.
Welcome, Matt. Yeah.
(02:35):
Thank you. Thanks for having me.
Thanks for coming and helping meset up my camera and everything.
Wave at the camera. We.
Got it working I don't usually do video 'cause like I said it,
I feel like I want folks to really drop into their body or
drop into their you know feelings and stuff and sometimes
we can get a little performativeso let's forget about that that
(02:56):
doesn't even that's not even happening it's.
Like the curse of the clip everytime you record a set and it's
like, now I'm out of it and now I don't feel as good.
I. Know when you're not in your
body? Yeah, well, I really appreciated
meeting you the other day. We just met at the Denver Comedy
Underground. You did a set and we were
working. Who are we opening for?
Adam Gilbert, my buddy from Chicago, now lives in New York,
(03:19):
and yeah, he was in town for theweekend and worked out to hang
out with him for a while and drop in for a set.
That was cool. Yeah, I saw one of his reels and
man, I was like this guy, this guy's doing.
Traumedy for sure, and so funny.Yeah, so just like so specific
with his writing and just gets so weird so quick.
Yeah, yeah, this is cool to see.And it was also cool that you
(03:41):
guys knew each other and like, you're new to Denver, so welcome
to Denver or Colorado. And although you're a man of the
world, you've got a van. You can go wherever you want.
Yeah, I know. I keep gravitating towards
Denver. I was out for a little bit for
like 2 months and then I'm back here and I was like hanging out
and working on the van a little bit.
And yeah, I'll probably, I'll probably be in Denver long term,
but I gotta try, you know, I gotta try things out.
(04:01):
I can't make a decision too quick.
So I wanna just, you know, yeah,put up the feelers.
Cuz you were in Chicago and thenyou were in North Carolina.
Yeah. I mean, there's so many great
comedy communities, but I haven't seen one better than
Denver, I gotta be honest. It's really good.
I was really impressed being like you guys have a lot of
clubs and like everything withina short drive like Boulder, Fort
Collins and just every comic I've met here has been like the
(04:24):
most welcoming. Nice.
Person, it's weird we, we reallyhave like this, this community
feeling and we give each other tags.
Thank God 'cause I'm my writing is like, I'm such a lazy writer
these days. I'm just writing on stage like,
oh, maybe I'll remember to say this again kind of thing.
I used to be more disciplined. I I kind of miss the craft.
Like I don't feel like I'm really doing.
(04:45):
The craft is tight, but then comics will go here.
I got A tag for you and I'm like, gift, yeah.
I don't understand how people don't want that being like, if
this makes the joke snap that much better at the very end of
being like, yeah, I'll take it being like, but people are like,
no, I have to write it. It's like, who cares?
Like it works and it like ties in.
I don't know. I think, and I think it depends
on where you are in your career as well as maybe you're still
trying to prove yourself. But but there are certain
(05:07):
communities where if you go to Lai, I gave somebody A tag there
and they looked at me like I hadspit on them.
And I was like, I I'm so sorry. I thought it was a funny idea.
But anyway, hey, let's talk about you.
Yeah, let's talk about you and your.
So you are an engineer. You are a mechanical engineer.
Is that what you said? Yeah, mechanical engineer by
(05:27):
trade. Quit my corporate job in 2017
and started my own like contracting freelancing company.
So now I'm kind of a gun for hire and and just do product
design on various kitchen appliances and mayonnaise pumps
and all sorts of fun stuff. But you know, you make a
difference in people's lives. I mean, big differences.
(05:48):
We were just, you know, I was just opening a travel mug in the
kitchen. You're like, hey, do you like
that travel mug? And you're like, I work for that
company and I'm like, I love, I mean, I seriously makes a
difference in my life. I can go take my tea, put it
inside my backpack, not worry about my my laptop.
Yeah, the Contigo Snap Seal 2.0.That's a great problem.
(06:10):
Damn it. We should we should get a
sponsor. Why didn't I?
I didn't bring it in here. But anyway, yeah, you guys have
to picture it. Yeah.
They sell my Costco for two in 2packs.
That was the, that was like the first item we got in at Costco
and I was, I was working with Contigo for a while and that was
like a big deal. We're like, oh, we got the snap
seal in, Costco's in. And you were saying like how
long people worked on that particular snap seal?
(06:31):
The amount of engineering like meetings that go into everyday
products like I think is something people don't realize
of just like every small radius,like the angle of let's see,
like how many pounds of force required to open the thing, like
how easy it is and yeah. Dude, it's perfect.
I got to tell you, whatever theydid, they did it perfectly.
Anything that you've been a partof that way, I appreciate.
(06:53):
We take it for granted all the time.
The layers of work and years that went into, I mean,
everything I'm using right here,I don't know.
Yeah, I'm thousands of hours of meetings of just being like,
yeah, how what's the diameter ofthis pop screen that we it's
like all that stuff just is so long.
Yeah. And and whatever the screen like
the layer like. I guess I never noticed there
are two layers here. Yeah.
(07:14):
But we use two layers. Do we use one layer?
Like do we source it from Thailand?
Do we source it from Shenzhen, like all those things?
Yeah. I mean, and then I'm like, like
there's a part of me that that please, I don't need.
I don't want to know if it's notvegan, you know, because there's
a lot of the thing like I didn'trealize you can't buy.
I looked up vegan car. I I'm not even kidding you.
I like, I want to buy a vegan car, which is a hilarious
(07:37):
concept to begin with that you're spewing.
You know, even if it's an electric, I mean the things that
go into making the battery. Oh yeah, but this isn't vegan.
This is. This is a blood pop screen.
I can feel it. Yeah, don't.
Even you don't even understand how sensitive I am.
No, but it's like, yeah, this anyway.
The stuff that goes into the tires.
I didn't know animal products were in Oh I.
(07:58):
Didn't know that. Either it's upsetting to me and
it's like this, I tell you what,you're living van life, which is
getting close to what I want to do.
I have a Honda Element E camper.I don't know if you saw it in
the parking garage, but I mean the carport.
I don't have a garage, but it's you know, it's got a little pop
top. It's kind of a Westphalia knock
off. Oh yeah, yeah, OK, I didn't see
that, but that's cool. I'll show it to you, but it's
(08:19):
cool. I mean, my fantasy was to spend
more time in it and I did take my son on a 30 day camping trip,
which was my favorite parenting thing.
But the fact that you're out there doing it, you know, a lot
of us are fantasizing about it, how to live, you know, kind of,
you know, close to nature. And, you know, I'm guessing you
like nature. Where's your mouth?
(08:42):
That's most of the goals is justlike I had an inkling up being
like, I think I need more naturein my life than I do like living
in Chicago. And then I like got out of
Chicago and I was like, oh, I need like 99% more nature than I
was getting and need to get out there.
And she feels so good. Like my shoulders lower like 4
inches. It's just like my brain just
feels like it gets like wiped clean every day, like being out
(09:04):
in the trees and breathing freshair.
And it's being like, this is howwe're supposed to live.
This is it. I know, and I was saying I just
keep getting stuck in my phone. I'm getting into that toxic
energy of the of the fight out there right now and I am going
to go to the whatever this will be after the no kings day when I
upload this, but I'm going to gotomorrow.
But I, I don't know, I'm a little nervous about being in
(09:26):
that many people, but I got to say it's a balance, right?
Of like, what is mine to do? And and then how do I recharge,
you know? Yeah, what's what's the No Kings
Day? Oh, it's, it's this huge like
demonstration, worldwide demonstration against
dictatorship and fascism going on.
That sounds like something I should have known.
(09:46):
We can edit this out. I haven't been, that's, yeah,
kind of been out. I haven't been paying attention
too much, but it's great to know.
Honestly, I'm jealous. Like good for you, good for you.
Like, hey, you're, you know what, this, this is real too.
I'm we're looking, I'm looking out the window at these
beautiful Aspen leaves and this is real.
This is happening. This is important.
(10:06):
I mean, Mother Nature. This is what's really the
reality. I mean, not all this electronic
and fighting and politics is, yeah, I don't even know.
It's like a social construct that's gone crazy.
It is. It is.
That's one of the most beautifulthings that when I was in, like,
the redwoods this summer. And just like there's redwoods
that are, you know, 700 years old and you're just like, they
(10:30):
are completely unperturbed by any BS that we're concerned with
and like, they're going to just be doing their thing for another
100. And it's like, yeah, that's the
Mother Nature doesn't care aboutall this stuff.
They just, the trees just keep treeing.
Yeah. The trees keep treeing.
That could be your bumper sticker put.
That in the band. That's your album.
(10:53):
When you think about your comedy.
I'm just curious, you know, thanks for coming on Traumedy.
And I don't know if there's anything that you relate to as
far as releasing any traumas or like what's, you know, I know as
a, as an engineer, one thing I love about engineers is they're
left and right brained. That's what I've heard.
You know, they're very creative,but they also have that
(11:15):
analytical part. So it's a lot of integration
that you do. And I think comedy can kind of
do that, that little weaving of trauma and lightness.
But I don't know if is there anything in your act that you
would that sparks a thing of release for you?
Or is there a reason that you started doing comedy?
Yeah, I mean, I started doing comedy after I got fired from a
(11:38):
engineering job. And so it was like a very high
stress thing. And I had that, you know, kind
of ego death type moment where this identity gets ripped away
or is being like, oh, maybe I'm can't hack it as an engineer.
Maybe I'm never going to make itas an engineer.
And then I was like, well, if this dream job I thought I had
went away, and then also this relationship with this girl I
thought was like this dream girlthat went away at the same time.
(12:00):
And it's like both these things gets rid both these identities
of like perfect boyfriend, perfect employee, whatever gets
crumbled down. And then I was like, well, if
that didn't make me happy, all these things that supposedly
were it, then what should I do that makes me happy?
And then I was reading a self help book at the time was like,
if you want to chase happiness, like do what you were
compulsively doing before the age of 10 when no one was
(12:22):
telling you what to do. I love this.
And I was like, well, I was justmaking funny videos with my
friends, like drawing cartoons and trying to make my friends
laugh. And at the time was like to and
from work, I was just like compulsively consuming so much
comedy and podcasts. And I was like, all right,
there's something here like you got to just try it.
And then the first time I got onstage is like my brain just lit
(12:44):
up like a Christmas tree. I.
Was like oh this is. It this is it you?
Knew it. Yeah.
That's cool. So you were using comedy as a
resource to and from work to kind of help get rid of that
stress totally. Because I think you mentioned to
me that, and I don't know if it's the same job, but the one
that really it was so much aboutget, you know, the sales part of
it and getting into new like you're saying like how you guys
(13:06):
celebrated with Contigo about getting into Costco.
It was a different one. But it was like, yeah, you got
to have you got to keep push, push, push, push, push.
There's no like, yay, let's celebrate what we just did.
There's more like what's next, marketing and.
Totally like every six months was like if you don't get one
into Toys-R-Us, you're, you might be on the hot seat like
you got to you got to deliver and it was just this high
pressure like I got, I hope Target likes my prototype and if
(13:29):
they don't then. Then I have no self worth, you
know, like that's where, that's where it gets tricky, right?
Where it's like, I'm not, I'm not, yeah, I'm not worthy of
whatever the target approval. Yeah.
And and then a couple of that with like I didn't know how to
fix my relationship at the time.So that was like crumbling.
I didn't know what to do. And we had kind of this anxious
I was avoiding attached. Now that I now I know that and
(13:52):
then yeah, I have an inkling. I won't speak for her, but I
think she was a little bit anxious attached.
So we have this anxious avoidantlike clawing and then wanting
distance and clawing and wantingdistance.
And that was going on. And then so then I wasn't
getting stuff delivered in and this job.
And then I was that manifested and I was having panic attacks
in the bathroom. Like during the Christmas rush
where there's like Frosty the snowman playing over the law.
(14:13):
And I'm just like crumbling in the bathroom was just like, I'm
a holy jolly Christmas. And I'm like, Oh my God, I don't
know what to do. Oh, this has got to be in your
next short film or whatever. Something, yeah.
But having a panic attack to holly jolly Christmas.
No, it's so perfect, though. It's so perfect.
(14:34):
It's so the juxtaposition of ourlife, the insanity that we live
in. Yeah.
I love that you did the animatronics too.
Have a holly jolly Christmas. I am not having a holly jolly
Christmas. You shut up.
I'm dying here. I'm dying to die to Holly jolly
Christmas. Yeah, that's.
(14:55):
Just fade to black holly, jolly Christmas and it's done.
You know, I have a playlist, butthere's filing cabinet right
here. I got a playlist for my deathbed
and I might put that on it. That's such a good idea.
I might add that to my deathbed playlist.
Yeah, that's probably a perfect,like psychedelic trip playlist
too, you know, you're having a little bit of ego death.
(15:16):
Play the Deathbed playlist, you know.
Dude, I'm loving it so much. That's perfect.
Traumedy, man, I'm telling you. Yeah, mine is.
Mine is bluegrass. Oh brother, Where Art thou
Soundtrack a lot of the songs, love.
That. Soundtrack.
Yeah. I'll fly away.
You know, it's like, is it Jillian?
(15:37):
Do you pronounce it Jillian Welch?
I don't know, I. Don't know, but I got to wipe my
nose. I don't there's no way to do
this. This is another reason I don't
like doing video you can see. And yes, I make my own hankies.
I am a good global citizen. Hold on.
Hold on. Oh, this is a Halloween show
now? What is that joke?
(15:58):
What are hankies? There's boogers in it.
Yeah, how do you make a hanky dance?
Put a little boogie in. It Yeah, Yeah.
Wow. I got to tell you, you're hanky.
Your hanky took the took the prize as far as.
That was not a homemade 1 though, I have to admit.
But it's but it's reused and barely washed I'm going to
guess. I am living in a band.
(16:19):
It's barely. Washed.
You don't waste water. Definitely not that.
Was that was bathed in a stream against a rock a.
Little splash a little. Remember the rock deodorant that
was out for a while? Yeah, that's right.
I wonder. What happened to that?
Is that still out there? Anybody in?
Mineral, there's so many like organic deodorants now.
I think they just got squeezed out native and else just push
(16:40):
them. Out and then it's like yeah that
none of them worked. I can, I can test, I can test
fine. And now that I'm taking
testosterone, which is a fun androgen experience, I have like
I feel it. I'm trying to open a jar again
and that's back to the contigo. How much pressure like I'm so
grateful when I can get something like that open because
(17:01):
there are some of them where my post menopausal female cannot
open is. That that's a great, that's a
great bit. I don't know if you have it's
like, why are you taking testosterone?
I want to open jars again. Yeah, I'm tired of being
dependent. I literally will call my son.
I have a, you know what? I might even splice in here.
I have a photo of me in my kitchen.
(17:21):
I'll show it to you. It's like I have a jar opener,
but it was a big jar of olives that was this big.
They were this big around. So one hand is not going to do
it. So I was, I called my son.
He wasn't available, so I had toput it between my feet and I had
to put it between my feet. I was like, I was determined
because I mean, if I make smashed potatoes and I don't
have olives, go with it. I can't explain why.
(17:41):
I like the juxtaposition of like.
Never tried that. Green olives on the side of
mashed potatoes. It's weird.
It's my thing. OK, but you know what?
A regional thing. It's.
It's a nice region. Right in this region.
It is a Nancy thing. It was like that was Christmas
or something like oh, I like thecool olive like the salty with a
warm. There's nothing we don't need to
(18:03):
talk about it. All I'm saying is opening things
are important. Androgen smells.
All I'm going to say I have different now.
It's gross. I I am really clear that I do.
I will not take another lover inthis lifetime.
I'm pretty sure because I am disgusted by myself.
The smells. I have a 14 year old boy and an
(18:24):
old woman. Just no.
Just a melting pot. No, just no.
Nobody needs that Patchouli. I will be in my own van for
sure. Nobody.
Nobody's getting in my damn van.No Axe.
Oh yeah. If I try to cover it up, which
sometimes my son, he'll give me a ride to say the airport.
And I'm just like, you know, it's OK to like use water and
(18:46):
shower that off. You don't have to cover it, you
know, right? Other smells.
Why do we all, as teenage boys, we all recover it?
We never. It's like we all have to learn
that that's not the way. Yeah, somebody has to teach you.
That's not because obviously doesn't care what I think.
It's very medieval. Remember medieval sachets?
They used to keep whatever I think.
You get made fun of once in the locker room and then you're
(19:07):
like, OK, I'm off Axe forever. It's just got to be 1.
No, that is like axe is sort of.I don't know.
People love to hate on the axe. I don't know enough about it,
but it is not my flavour. Yeah, yeah.
But OK, I feel like I'd probablydidn't answer your question, but
like, so you're you're saying like tram dev, you like infuse
trauma with your like, how do you get yeah.
(19:28):
Thank you for circling back withthe ADHD.
OK, yes, tell me your bit. So you well, you found comedy.
First of all, you had an expression because you had lost
your job, you lost your girlfriend, life was losing some
meaning and and you got this insight.
Go back from the book. What did I love doing before I
was 10? Making movies.
(19:49):
Making films, making people laugh.
Yeah, totally. And yeah, I was going to toss it
to you too. But then I feel like it was such
a superpower of like all these traumatic things and, you know,
life doesn't stop throwing you traumatic things.
And then every single one of those, like there's a little
part of your brain while the trauma is happening and it's
going like, well, this is going to be material.
That's. The good news with comedy, Yeah.
(20:09):
I mean, even right in the middleof the car accident, you're
like, oh, you're rolling. Like this is going to be a great
bit someday, you know? Yeah, totally.
Bleeding AM TS just trying to revive you and be like give me
my notebook, give me my notebook.
Stat, stat, notebook stat. Like seriously, clear, clear.
Get out of my way. I mean, really, I you're not
(20:31):
wrong. I think right now my bits mostly
are cause of this age where I feel like, yeah, my bones are
thinning. I've got more spiritual access,
you know, I am writing preemptive deaths, death bits.
Oh. Nice.
Yeah. So I'm talking about.
Yeah, I've been thinking about death a ton of like, what is
what? So is bones thinning?
Does that mean like your pineal gland is more accessible?
(20:51):
To I made that up, but it soundsgood, doesn't it does I mean, I
do have osteoporosis. So I figure like, oh, porous,
that means I'm getting more access.
Yeah, I I do feel like in my crown chakra, I know that those
soft spots don't open up again, but maybe they do in a, maybe in
a, in a because. That's apparently like how some
type of chameleon, how they likedo their camouflage.
(21:12):
It's not by their eyesight. They don't look at things and
then determine I need to turn into a tree.
Like cuz when they're like shut down, their eyes are closed.
They still know the environment and they're one of the only
creatures that has like a pinealgland, like right on the surface
of their skin that can get like affected by heat and like
outside area. So there's they're tap like the
(21:32):
theory is they're tapping into something that's seen for them
and then they can activate the camel toes.
Wow like a third eye on the crack.
Yeah Okra. Well, you know when you drive
cars now, like I rent, I have anold 2008, but I rent cars on the
road and they can see you. They look down at you in the
parking lot. Have you seen that on the
(21:54):
camera? It shows you the above view and
I'm like, maybe that's like the whatever amphibious.
What animal was it? Some type of chameleon?
I can't. Yeah.
Iguana or something? Yeah.
I got those iguana eyes here. I'm ready.
I'm ready. Well, the Inuit say the people
with misaligned eyes are the visionaries, so I'm not.
(22:17):
I'm not Inuit, but I do have some visions and I do see into
Infinity, so I feel cool. That's the blessing and curse of
the Strabismus. Is is can does that happen like
in, in psychedelic space to likebe able to?
Oh yeah, yeah. Yeah, you know Steve Gillespie.
Have you met him yet? I met him in North Carolina,
(22:38):
actually, Yeah. He's coming through for We Love
Steve. He was on season one or two.
We got to got to check out Steveand he has the Doe Show and I
got to tell you those are Matt. You have you've got to do a dose
comedy show. I've never done one that'll be
amazing. You know, you eat a little bit
of plant medicine, which I'm starting to feel like I may have
(22:58):
done that recently. I'm starting to have a little
impact. So Steve's shows are are
literally magical and healing. And when I do them, I think my,
whatever it is, you know, 5th generation nurse, I always say.
And before that we were called witches.
So I do feel like there's something in my psyche that sort
(23:19):
of senses things, and with help of a little medicine.
Yeah, just opens it up. Yeah, and I tend to voice things
that maybe need are needed in that room at the moment.
And then I have these wild connections afterwards where
people want to continue the connection, but it's like, hey,
it's not me. I'm just a conduit.
(23:40):
I I brought you the message, butit's really not me.
Yeah, just getting out of the getting out of its way and being
like, I'm just delivering it. I feel like that's when writing
is the most magical, when you'rejust like, yeah, out of the way
and you're like, all right, I think this is flowing.
Like the muse is here. It's like going through me and
I'm just. Channeling the music.
Yeah. And that's where when I
connected with you, I love, I love your material.
(24:03):
My memory is not great, but I feel like you were doing
material about being an engineerand maybe is it something about
being on the spectrum or was. It the all engineers are on the
spectrum, yeah. Neurodivergent humor.
Yeah, and I'm trying to like, and some people I think get a
little hair triggered about thatbit too.
But it's, you know, if you listen to the whole bit, it's
propping up neurodivergent people where it's like they're
(24:25):
the best engineers, like the best engineers are
neurodivergent. So like, if we want to solve
global warming, we, you know, maybe need to give them more of
a shot and. Then yeah, more of a shot.
I got you and more vaccines, more circumcisions.
Now I don't know if you've seen the news, but and I am anti
circumcision. Ironically, I hate when I agree
with somebody on the topic. I'm actually anti circumcision.
(24:48):
I mean, because it's just brutaland unnecessary and I've
obviously uncircumcised, but I do worry about why we torture
young boys and why we are surprised when the patriarchy
turns against us. Talk about trauma and it's like
starting out step along with thetrauma it's.
(25:10):
Terrible. I had to witness them in nursing
school and it's just awful. And it's nothing I would do to a
person ever or anyone. I mean, any being.
All right, I am bringing us down, but I wanted to say, So
what I love, I love your material, but I also loved off
stage that we were talking, you know?
(25:30):
So fun. We are very much into some
similar things, past life regression.
Yeah, we were getting to that. Yeah.
And I don't know if you feel comfortable sharing that, we can
talk about that later, but do you feel like spirit signs are
there's so much on trauma that tends to have a spiritual
component. So I think people are kind of
used to it by now coming from me, because at this age, my life
(25:53):
is I feel half in the grave. So I'm like, hey, I'm I'm way
into like what? What's beyond the physical right
now anyway? But with the did what, what
happened in your past life that did you?
OK, listen, do do you want to talk about it?
Sure, I can. Yeah, I can talk because I had a
couple of past life regressions and we didn't talk about the
Group One either. But we talked about like the
(26:14):
first one that when I was like having eczema in my hands for
like 7 years, I had really bad eczema.
And I like, you know, couldn't do a lot of things, couldn't
rock climb anymore and done all these crazy diets and things
that were like helping a little bit, but it was still popping
up. And then did this past life
regression in Denver here and back in the spring and it was
(26:35):
like kind of took me and I was still like very conscious the
whole time. It's like kind of just active
imagination, like they're guiding you through and be like,
what do you see? And I wasn't into like woo woo
stuff a little, but I've been getting more into it and every
time I get like more into it, I'm like, OK, how do you explain
some of the like some of the stuffs?
Just totally. And you're a scientist.
(26:57):
It's not like you're a woo woo guy.
Like you are grounded in hard facts.
Yeah, and I got more into the past life regression because it
was this book Journey of Souls by Michael Newton, I think, and
he was putting people under hypnosis for like curing,
smoking and stuff like this. And then you'd have started just
getting curious about like asking about past lives.
And everyone kind of had, didn'tmatter cultural background, age
(27:18):
or anything. Everyone had a pretty standard
thing. It was like repeatable over all
these different sample sizes. And then he started asking him
what's going on between your lives.
And that's where it got wild of like everyone had a similar
answer yet again, where it's like you're in this school of
like 4 to 5 souls. You go through, look at your
life, where did you add karma? Where did you did not?
(27:40):
And you're like, you're working with a guide and then you like
choose to go back into another. And almost everyone had the same
experience. And then what was the most wild
was he, he kind of interviewed this group of gals and they were
like, oh, yeah, we were, we think we have the sole
connection. And they all got hypnotized
separately. And they're like, yeah, it was
like us three. And then this guy like Brian or
(28:01):
whatever, and he wasn't with them and he gave him his last
name. And so the girls came out and
they're like going through it and they're like, yeah, well, I
don't know about this guy Brian that apparently was in our soul
family, but like we were in thissoul family learning in between
lives. So he tracks down this guy the
the name and he like says like, hey, I'll fly out just to do.
And this is a very like analytical guy.
He's like, I don't buy into any of this stuff.
(28:23):
Brings him in. He.
Solicited him, by the way. Yeah, I mean, I don't know this
book. I'm just listening.
Yep, this is exactly he's listedhim.
And so he comes out and he's like, all right, I guess I'll
try it, you know. And so he goes under.
Ask him about life between livesand he's like, it's me and these
three girls, like names, the three girls exactly that.
Yeah. And how?
Like he has no preparation. They don't know each other from
(28:46):
this life anyways. I mean, it, it, it begs the
question, how? I mean, even there's this
podcast right now called The Telepathy Tapes about people on
the spectrum. I mean, how are they doing that?
I don't know so I'm way open to it.
I just want to say I. Just want to put a background of
like, this is how I was getting into it of like there's a lot
of, there's a lot of data. If you just look at what's out
(29:06):
there, there's a lot of experimental stuff that's
saying, look, there's something going on here that.
And this has been going on, you and I both know you did you say
you knew Dolores Cannon or of her?
And she's from the Ozarks. And it's so weird that there's a
I've only talked to like three or four other people that know
of her and one of them was in Homer, AK and now you.
And I'm like, OK, I mean, it just says something So.
(29:28):
But these are all people you could look up on YouTube or you
could find that book A. Lot of stuff so.
You had an experience that helped you with your and your.
You haven't. I haven't had eczema since.
So yeah, that's the that's the get cut into the chase.
Like I haven't had eczema since I did this past life regression
because we went in and it was like a lot of stuff that I'm
repeating in this life, which was like putting all this
(29:49):
pressure that if I don't fix, I was like, you know, an architect
in this past life in ancient Egypt.
And I didn't fix this problem that was going on.
You know, just to summarize it quickly, it was like I was
carrying these buckets of water trying to like fix this thing
and it might. It was tearing into my hands.
And this boss was like freaking out.
And I was like, the weight of the world is on my shoulders.
(30:09):
Like the river is going to dry up and like the village is going
to everyone's going to die and everyone's going to blame me.
And then I, like, carried that to my grave and that lifetime
that I didn't fix the problem and that, you know, everyone
suffered because of me. And then it was like, you know,
we kind of went in and like gavethat guy some grace around.
Like, look, there were so many other environmental factors to
(30:30):
that river drying up. And like everything like this
wasn't because he didn't work hard enough or weren't smart
enough or didn't deliver on it. And it was a similar feeling of
like when. You were a scapegoat, yeah.
Yeah, and it was a similar feeling of that in, you know,
getting fired from that job too.And that's kind of when the
eczema started of like getting fired from that job was around
that time of like putting that weight of like, well, I didn't
(30:53):
deliver for these people that had faith in me and I didn't,
you know, I wasn't the engineer they thought they that I was or
whatever it was or, and feeling inadequate and then tying in
some of that forgiveness to. Feeling like the world's going
to. Yeah, there was just so much
heaviness around it that didn't really forgive myself for.
And so forgive myself for that past life, forgiving myself for
this life of it's fine that thatdidn't work out.
(31:14):
There's so many factors. And, you know, that relationship
and all these things that were going on my life, just being a
24 year old and not knowing how to deal with like growing up in
a very hyper masculine hockey culture in northern Minnesota,
Like I didn't have emotional intelligence skills.
And so I was just, all of it wasmanifesting in a panic.
That's like, of course that blewup and it's like I have some
(31:35):
freak. On the floor of the bathroom.
Like, of course, that led to panic attacks in the bathroom.
Like what do you expect? And this eczema, man, it's
fascinating to me. Isn't it amazing?
Like, do you wonder about your higher self repeating one of the
things? There's another guy, Brian
Weiss, and he'll say it's not really karma.
(31:55):
It's so much like if you don't learn the lesson, you're going
to get it. You're going to try again in
this lifetime, if you're going to try again in this lifetime to
get the lesson, which is you arenot responsible for the weight
of the world. And I maybe I need to hear this
today because I do take it on like I'm not doing enough to
speak up for the voiceless animals.
I'm not doing enough. And I, I mean, under the
(32:17):
influence of this medicine that we may or may not have taken.
I, I feel the grief of that. Like I need to grieve that.
Like I cannot save them. And I cannot tell you, I wish I
could. I wish I could save.
I wish I could stop suffering all over the world.
Like I feel like what is mine todo and how do I stop suffering?
(32:38):
I don't know what is that appropriate?
Maybe the suffering is what is, you know, like there's another
bigger. Like all of a sudden I just had
this. I went up a little higher to
look down and go, well the suffering is part of the sole
agreement and it's just like GodI want to.
Can I please unsubscribe? Right, and it's but it's part of
their sole agreement too. Like they came in and wanted
(33:02):
this experience and it's, you know, did that.
We don't have the control necessarily to alter all these
experiences that that, you know,they came here to have, even
though it's it looks bleak. We label it good or bad and, and
evils being done to these people.
And but it's, it is all perfect in the universal plan of like
unfolding the way. And I think like being small, at
(33:23):
least for me, I'm like trying toremember like, OK, I am a small
piece of this universal plan. And it's like, yeah, you can
make the active loving choice every moment.
OK, There is a God choice in every moment to make and be
giving and and and loving, But that doesn't mean that like
you're failing if you're not like loving the most amount of
(33:44):
people. It goes back to like the tree.
It's like, is the one tree that's like 6 inches higher than
the other tree? Is the shorter one being like,
well, I'm not that Redwood so. What's the point?
Yeah. Provided that much shade for
people. Thank you.
I really needed to hear this. I think, you know, like I say
this, this podcast really a selfish.
Well, selfish. I don't know.
(34:05):
I'm yeah. I mean, I'm doing this to help
heal myself. If you're dealing with it.
I mean, the, the, the, you know,the motto is help heal myself
and others. So I know there's somebody else
suffering the same and you've suffered this way.
And thank you for being so vulnerable about it.
You know, like, especially Someone Like You just shared
your back story a little bit that you came from this very
patriarchal, you know, hockey playing.
(34:28):
Like we don't, we don't do this.Like we Minnesotans and I, you
know, or whatever, me Missourians, we're kind of stoic
too, you know? Like we don't, we don't stop and
do this, you know? I had anger and that was it.
That was the only emotion you'reallowed to really express and be
like, just let it boil all down into anger.
And it's like there's a lot of other ones you can experience,
(34:49):
turns out. But that healed part, that
healed that, and probably a lot more than just the eczema, Yeah,
I'm guessing. Yeah, I think it made me a lot
better just practically at my job too.
So I don't know if anyone's curious about how do I just stop
putting so much pressure on myself and my career and
advancing. It's like it helped.
Just zoom out and go like, look,there is some universal
(35:13):
organization and a lot of stuff that we don't know that's
happening in subconscious, in these other, in the astral
plane, all these other areas. And it's so unbelievably complex
that we're not going to be able to fathom it.
And so trying to be like, well, yeah, I needed to do more.
And it just takes some of the weight off that.
Just to do what's right in frontof you, like right now, here's
(35:34):
my task or here's what I've signed up to do.
Like, and I love that you're a contract worker now and you can
say no to things and like, you know what?
I don't need to be in that toxicwork environment or climb,
climb, climb. I can like, hey, I'm a problem
solver. I have access to a lot of
creative muses and I can help solve this problem.
And you have the skill set. I mean, you also have the
(35:55):
engineering background. It's that integration again with
creativity meets skills, you know?
Yeah, and and the other gift of comedy that I forgot to mention
was just the another pressure release valve from engineering
where I was putting so much intoengineering and product design
to be like, this has to be my creative outlet.
This has to be like my tribe of people.
This has to be like my way to make money.
(36:17):
And now it's just my way to makemoney.
And it's so much more freeing where it's like I'm going to put
all my creative effort into likecomedy and building out my van
and things like that. And then the problems there's.
Communing with nature. Yes, and then the problems in
engineering just like all of a sudden just appear.
Put them in and yeah. Or the solutions appear to these
problems that used to die just sweat over and it was like, oh,
(36:39):
right now if I take a break and go do all these creative things
and I come back to engineering, it's just like, oh, my brain
subconscious figured it out. Cool.
That's and, and those are those gifts of like the subconscious.
And there are studies that show when people take a comedy break
in the middle of trying to solvea problem, they actually solve
the problem faster. Counterintuitive.
And, and we know this, I, I don't know it's attributed to
(37:00):
Thomas Edison, but I've heard itattributed to other inventors.
You probably know the right one where they're laying on a, on a
couch trying to solve a problem,that they're holding a plate and
a spoon or something. And then they fall asleep and
they drop and that that subconscious twilight sleep
state is where they solve the problem yes so being it's like,
ohh, I got it totally gotta right like when the.
(37:22):
Bridge between the conscious andsubconscious.
Like gets closer and closer and closer.
And then the whole analogy of like the near death experience,
like we were talking about earlier, like giving my Nope,
yeah, where's my voice memo that's.
Where the magic is, it's in thatdarkness, like in that void,
totally. And it's like, but it's you got
to get real quiet. You got to get meditative to
like be able to get to that. Bridge or super silly.
(37:43):
I mean, I'm going to tell you, Idon't know that it has to be
quiet, but I I hear that quiet is good.
But I also in my world, it's like also like just letting that
letting, letting the ripples ripple, you know?
True. Yeah.
Getting the sillies, Yeah. The sillies and then it just, I
think, yeah, quiet, whatever, whatever you can do to shut.
Down quiet. What you mean is like quiet the
(38:03):
fear, quiet the. Fear quite the analytical mind
quiet the. Quiet the voice editor.
Shame and doubt. Yes, Yes, the inner critic.
Quiet the inner critic. Yes.
OK. And either make it louder, make
the other stuff louder, like thelaughter and everything, the
silliness louder, or just quiet the whole system.
Yeah, yeah. Or.
Or like take it, go through the other side, like OK, get louder.
Come on, inner critic bring like, sometimes I'll be like,
(38:25):
tell me more, tell me more. Like, so I'm not going to shut
it down. Like tell me more.
Tell me more about what a shittyperson I am.
Oh, tell me what a bad person I am.
Like, I mean, like to the point where it's so ridiculous.
Like really like, I it was me that I actually am in charge of
the whole world. Yeah, I don't think.
I just started doing this and I'm so late, brother, because
it's been working so well for meof like when I have a inner
(38:46):
thought that just keeps ruminating.
That's like editor whatever doubt, fear.
And I got a physically acted outof just being like, well, I'm
not a good enough engineer and like whatever, give the thing
the voice and then just do it for like 30 seconds.
Be like, no one's ever going to hire me again.
My work's dried up and I'm nevergoing to have and I just give it
and then it's like it gives it avoice and I'll be like, is that
(39:07):
what we really think? And it's like, I guess not.
All right, you're right. Or like the other and then the
other, the other role-playing because I'm all about these
inner family systems. I think we talked about that
too. So many things we're clicking
on. And I was like, oh, yeah, the
other thing is just to be grateful.
Like, hey, thanks for trying to save me.
You know, like I know, like my inner critic I know is partly my
(39:31):
mom, of course, but it's now mine.
I own it. She has passed on thanks to me.
Don't want to brag, but I did help her move forward, not in
the best way. I mean it was the best I could
do. She always says I hear her say
you did your best, forget the rest.
Like I actually did help medicate my mother and like,
come on, like with Hospice help.But it was like it could have
(39:52):
been faster. But I guess it was her path.
Like we got to trust her suffering.
God, I don't like suffering anyway, OK.
This is the medicine has kicked in.
That that the ifs like they inner created making friends
with that even as. You, you just did it real.
Time there where you're just like the inner credit came up of
like I didn't do a good enough job like helping my mother pass
and be like, no, we did and like.
(40:13):
And actually, we got that messages did your best, forget
the rest. Yeah.
And like, you have to talk it real time every time because it
wants to grab the driver's seat and goes, no, like, this isn't
your job right now. We don't need you in the
driver's seat. Like, thanks so much for what
you do. Like, this is really nice when
we need to edit videos and be critical, like you're really
good at this. But right now we're trying to
this is going. To be my favorite dramedy
(40:34):
episode. I don't know if anyone else will
get it. That's OK.
You know what maybe eat a handful of mushrooms and TuneIn
and see if it vibes with you. But this is I mean, thank you so
much for helping me like I feel seen and known and understood on
so many levels with you. Like I'm like so I'm so grateful
to have a friend in the world like you because you don't
understand. I know I'm 65.
(40:56):
You're only 36. But like, we need friends.
We need people that are like, OK.
Yeah, I'm so glad I met you herebeing new and like, you know,
didn't don't know a lot of people here yet.
And this is like, oh, all right,who?
Knows we may have had some past life experience.
I, I, I, I don't know, I, I hopeI wasn't the asshole in Egypt,
but I could have been. Now it sounds.
Dude, it sounds like me. I I am so critical.
(41:18):
I am, I'm like, you can do better, you can do better.
And it's like, oh shit, you knowwhen I did a past life
regression on psilocybin, not past life.
Sorry, take that back. I did a psychedelic therapy
journey on medicine and I becamemy mother and, and me at the
same time. Like I was her.
I was me. I was everywhere at once.
And it was like, oh shit, she is, you know, she did her very
(41:40):
best under her life. You know, somebody was critical
to her And, and now I'm criticalto my son.
And I'm like every day I have tosay, I'm so sorry.
You don't deserve that. And it's OK to like say, hey, we
can do, you know, like I was just saying, thank you for
emptying my compost. This is a real time thing.
Today I went out of town, so I had a putrid compost thing in my
(42:04):
kitchen. I'm saying, would you mind
emptying that and spraying it out?
So when I come home, I don't come home to the smell.
And he did it, but then he forgot to turn off the spigot
and he left the nozzle connect. But he doesn't know it doesn't
it drips. So I just told him like within
the last hour, I said, hey, thank you for taking my comments
out. But hey, just so, you know,
(42:25):
water, you know, continued to drip.
And it's sad we wasted a lot of water.
But, you know, I was trying not to do it with the energy I used
to do it with. I was just like, hey, is there
any way you could do better? Like, how could you be more in
the present moment with that? And you know.
What I mean? Instead of like you're a bad
because the energy used to be you're a bad person for doing
(42:46):
that. And I mean that's I was Yep, and
I was offloading what my mother did and it was like, you know
what, we're all doing our best. And I know this is a small like
drops of water, but it's like. It's how you do one thing.
It's how you do everything. So it's like trying to, yeah,
it's like. Just like be in the moment.
Yeah. So it's like if I can change it
here, then I can change it with myself, then I can change it
with my coworkers, I can change it with however many people.
(43:08):
And it's like that habit over and over becomes a belief,
becomes a you know, and then it becomes who you are.
And then and what's going on in him, like, oh, he had a critical
mother that he's like feeling unsafe or whatever.
I'm doing something for my mom that and it smells putrid.
It's, it's one of those like, you don't want to be in the
present moment with that smell, right?
He was probably dissociating. And then he's like, and then
also like, you know, I got to dothis or my mom's not going to
(43:30):
love me. Yeah, I know I can totally.
I can totally see the other sideof it.
It's like, yeah, I just did thisputrid chore that's kind of a
task and I don't want to do it. And now I'm getting harped on
because I missed like 1% of the detail of this putrid and being
like, where's the thanks that I got for doing?
The putrid do it doesn't. I know and like that's the
weirdest part. Like please don't let that over
shadow the gratitude because I kept saying thank you for doing
that. That's amazing.
(43:51):
Yeah. Leading with the gratitude.
Well, but then but then it's also like Blind side thank you
and bam, you know, and it's like, damn it, Nancy, I don't
know the answer. That's the thing.
I really don't know how we don't.
Want to waste water? Well, we don't and it was scared
me because it's my only like this is what I'm leaving to him.
This little whatever townhouse is.
All I have to leave to him is his security.
(44:12):
So it is all fear. You know, it's probably fear and
security. You're like, OK, this is a false
sense of security, but if the pipes freeze, it really things
up this time of year, you know, if you leave water, Yeah.
But I think, I think it goes right back to ifs of like who's
in the driver's seat when they're delivering that message?
Is it the inner critic that goeslike fear based like the water's
(44:32):
going to drip, the thing the pipes are going to freeze and
then we're all going to die. We're going to have mechanic
that's going to cost like 10 grand or like that fear might
like that's the inner critic, what he wants to do when he's
driving or at least I'm talking to my guy he wants.
To do when he's driving the ship.
Like if you can. Yeah.
It's like if you can say, oh, thank you for what you do.
Like I appreciate like, that is a good thing to remember.
Nice job under critic. But for now, when we have this
(44:54):
conversation with this person welove, we're going to have you
like go into the background a little bit, if that's fine.
You can play with your Rubik's Cube if you want.
Like that's what my therapist told me.
Like we have this little space where he does like engineering
puzzles and like is OK, you can kind of like go back here and do
this. But we're going to be in like
the more self energy and we're going to be in the self.
And when we deliver this messagebecause we want to do it with
(45:16):
tact and we want to do it with care.
And we actually want. The solution and appreciation,
yeah. Because we want to convey all
those things, and we also want to.
And energetically. Yes.
And I think it's like the words almost don't matter at that
point. If you're in self energy, the
words really don't. That's right.
Yeah, that's right. And it's all about that energy
of like, I love you, you love me, you helped me and.
(45:36):
Yes. And.
Yes, and. And we're human and we're going
to do these little things where we, and I do it too.
I almost always, and nowadays I end a criticism with, oh man, I
do the same thing or I need a list.
I've got to have a list or we'renot going to get anything done.
And it's not like it's, it's notlike he's not like not doing it
because he's mad or he's trying to, you know, say hey, you.
(45:57):
He's just like, I forgot, you know, I got distracted.
He's down there, he's playing guitar, having a good time.
I could distract it. I forget like it's you're just
you, me on a different day. This is the We're all the same
thing. Yes, that is it, Yeah.
And when we don't even empathizewith ourselves, how do we expect
other people to empathize with other people?
Exactly because it's why it's how you're treating yourself is
(46:19):
how you're going to reflect backin that situation.
If you if you're earner critic and running amok, you're
absolutely going to be inner critic faced when you're dealing
with that situation. And if you don't have self
compassion, however, you're going to have compassion for any
other living being or tree, Yeah, or I mean, a tree is a
being. It all starts with ourselves.
Like, yeah, we're so lacking. And but maybe this is the whole
lesson of all the, you know, layers that we've been through
(46:43):
in Egypt and wherever we were, it's like, oh, the whole time we
were just supposed to learn selflove.
We're just supposed to learn that.
Was one of the most profound. I was in the boundary riders up
in Canada, like maybe second. The biggest boundary waters.
Yeah, it was like with my best friends and and I had, you know,
psychedelic, like psilocybin. And I remember like really going
(47:06):
inward and kind of one on my playlist and like an eye mask.
And I was like, I want to like deal with some stuff.
Let's go like inward. And I ended up like talking to
this like deity. And I'm like, what do I call
you? And he's like, Mr. Mushroom is
fine. And I'm like, OK, yeah, that's.
Mr. Mushroom, of course it's a patriarchal, but that's for you.
It. Was because.
He came to me in a comedy way because.
It knew Mr. Mushroom is definitely not taking himself
(47:28):
too seriously. Yeah.
Mushroom is fine. And I'm like, sure, I love.
Mr. Mushroom Mushroom. I love Mr. Mushroom.
And and but Alice so. Also, it looks like, I mean,
come on, it's if you don't say Mr. Mushroom.
I mean, I don't want to gender apenis but.
Yeah, it's phallic. It's very phallic.
So it makes sense. Anyways, you would have the L
(47:50):
Maybe it's L something in Spanish.
Yeah, but. Anyway, so you were OK, so you
were there. Yes, Boundary Waters BWCA.
Yeah, yeah, the Boundary Waters.Oh.
Man. Expansive.
And so we were in my favorite campsite there, and it was just
like, yeah, sitting in the tent and went inward.
And I was like getting all the and I was like asking it
everything of like, OK, you know, what should I do with all
(48:10):
the And it was. And I was like, well, what is
the point of all this? Like, why are we even here?
And it's like, oh, it's you just, it's just a school so you
can learn how to love each otherproperly.
I'm like, is that it? I'm like, yeah, would you want a
better, bigger answer? And then I was like, well, what
is enlightenment? He's like, it's this sweater.
It's this. It's there and I love it.
I love it. He's just real super casual
about it. What is a nightmare?
(48:32):
It's this. It's this.
It's just right here. And he's like, do you want, did
you want it to be harder? That can make it harder.
I'm like, and then it was like these scary images passed.
I'm like, no, no, no, no, no. This was nice.
I like this. You know what?
Simple. Simple is good.
Simple goodness. Thank you, Mr. Mushroom.
Thank you. You know, maybe we should have
(48:52):
closure and go out and out and not I can't make words, so maybe
it's time to not make words and go out and commune with this
beautiful Mother Earth. Wow, we covered some beautiful
ground today. Really did this is so fun.
You know I'm not. I don't know how to button this
up in any other way except to say thank you.
(49:14):
Thank you. Thank you for the fast
friendship. Yeah, I knew.
I mean, it's just like Bing, Bing, Bing.
I was like, OK, there's a reasonI'm talking to it.
I mean, past lives, Dolores Cannon, psilocybin, nature, all
of it. I have.
I mean, all of it. Thank you.
Thank you for being on this beautiful learning.
(49:36):
What is it? We're learning how to love each
other. How?
To love each other properly properly is also a little bit of
a hand slap I thought. You're a Mr. Mushroom.
Could you be more specific? Mr. Mushroom.
Yeah. Was I loving and correct?
And then the whole spiral begins.
(49:58):
That's was it. Proper love?
You call that proper love? Yeah.
I don't know. It feels like a Monty Python
sketch of it. That was it.
She didn't love me properly. It wasn't proper.
You know what I mean? It's so hard to say Prop like
proper should be spoken in an English accent proper.
It's not proper. It's not proper.
(50:19):
OK, well, we're going to stop. We're going to we're going to
turn all this off and we're going to go properly love each
other in nature. I mean transcend all whatever
this is. All this tackles, yeah, it's
great, It's good tools. But we got we got transcend
nature, time. But we got Transcend.
Yeah, OK, I'm stopping this. OK, I can.
(50:42):
It's my crazy eye. Oh my God, that was one of my
favorite Trauma D episodes. I want to thank my guest Matt
McLean. You can find him on Instagram
and every all the things at GoodOne Maddie good 1G OODONEMATTY
(51:05):
and wow, we had a magical walk around Boulder.
We went to Wonderland Lake. We saw a beautiful hawk eat a
beautiful rabbit. And I really feel like, oh,
there was something up for me inthis healing process about
animals and I know it's part of nature.
I just, I just, I'm OK with eating beans, OK, Just not I'm
(51:27):
not a very good hunter is what it is.
Anyway, I hope everybody's out there loving themselves, love
yourself and love others properly.
And I want to thank my son, Nathaniel Norton.
He's playing guitar in the basement right below me right
now. If you hear any music in the
background, I'm also going to beplaying the trauma D music loop
that he created. So thank you, Nathaniel Norton
(51:48):
and for being my son and helpingme grow as a person and learning
how not to pass on generational trauma and if I do, how to make
amends. You know, when we know better,
we do better. Do the trauma work that you need
to do if you're having trauma reactivity like I do sometimes.
We are all doing our best. Thank you for being a listener.
(52:10):
Let me know if you have any questions, comments or concerns.
And if you want to be a guest onTromedy, reach out to me at
nancynorton.tv. And remember, no matter what,
keep laughing. Subscribe and share Tromedy.
You're listening to the TraumedyPodcast with Nancy Norton this
week on Traumedy. And then so then I wasn't
getting stuff delivered in and this job.
And then I was that manifested and I was having panic attacks
in the bathroom like during the Christmas rush where there's
like Frosty the snowman playing over the law speaker And I'm
(00:24):
just like crumbling in the bathroom was just like, I'm a
holy jolly Christmas. And I'm like, Oh my God, I don't
know what to. Do oh this has gotta be in your
next short film or whatever. Something you know.
Somebody having a panic attack to Holly Jolly Christmas.
No, it's so perfect though. It's so perfect.
(00:44):
It's so the juxtaposition of ourlife, the insanity that we live
in. Yeah, I love that you did the
animatronics, too. Have a holly jolly Christmas.
I am not having a holly jolly. Christmas, you shut up.
I'm dying here. I'm dying to die to Holly Jolly
Christmas, Yeah. That's just fade to black holly,
(01:07):
jolly Christmas and it's done. Trauma plus comedy equals Trauma
D Trauma D is not a replacement for trauma therapy, but it may
help you get by between sessions.
You're listening to Trauma D, the podcast that helps you take
your pain and play with it. I'm Nancy Norton.
I am a former nurse, comedian, and keynote speaker about the
(01:30):
power of humor, why we need it, how it helps us.
Bring the power of humor to yournext event with award-winning
comedian Nancy Norton. Nancy got out of healthcare for
the same reason. A lot of people get into it, to
save lives. Message Nancy at nancynorton.tv.
The Traumedy podcast is sponsored by Crybaby Badass.
(01:53):
You have to feel it to heal it. You are a Crybaby Badass
luminary. See your light in the mirror.
Do you have a trauma? Hey, you listening?
Do you have a traumedy story to share?
If so, send Nancy a message at nancynorton.tv.
Trauma can be isolating and overwhelming.
(02:15):
Share Traumedy with a friend today.
Welcome to Traumedy. My guest this week is Matt
McClain, a comedian and engineerliving the van life right now.
Welcome, Matt. Yeah.
(02:35):
Thank you. Thanks for having me.
Thanks for coming and helping meset up my camera and everything.
Wave at the camera. We.
Got it working I don't usually do video 'cause like I said it,
I feel like I want folks to really drop into their body or
drop into their you know feelings and stuff and sometimes
we can get a little performativeso let's forget about that that
(02:56):
doesn't even that's not even happening it's.
Like the curse of the clip everytime you record a set and it's
like, now I'm out of it and now I don't feel as good.
I. Know when you're not in your
body? Yeah, well, I really appreciated
meeting you the other day. We just met at the Denver Comedy
Underground. You did a set and we were
working. Who are we opening for?
Adam Gilbert, my buddy from Chicago, now lives in New York,
(03:19):
and yeah, he was in town for theweekend and worked out to hang
out with him for a while and drop in for a set.
That was cool. Yeah, I saw one of his reels and
man, I was like this guy, this guy's doing.
Traumedy for sure, and so funny.Yeah, so just like so specific
with his writing and just gets so weird so quick.
Yeah, yeah, this is cool to see.And it was also cool that you
(03:41):
guys knew each other and like, you're new to Denver, so welcome
to Denver or Colorado. And although you're a man of the
world, you've got a van. You can go wherever you want.
Yeah, I know. I keep gravitating towards
Denver. I was out for a little bit for
like 2 months and then I'm back here and I was like hanging out
and working on the van a little bit.
And yeah, I'll probably, I'll probably be in Denver long term,
but I gotta try, you know, I gotta try things out.
(04:01):
I can't make a decision too quick.
So I wanna just, you know, yeah,put up the feelers.
Cuz you were in Chicago and thenyou were in North Carolina.
Yeah. I mean, there's so many great
comedy communities, but I haven't seen one better than
Denver, I gotta be honest. It's really good.
I was really impressed being like you guys have a lot of
clubs and like everything withina short drive like Boulder, Fort
Collins and just every comic I've met here has been like the
(04:24):
most welcoming. Nice.
Person, it's weird we, we reallyhave like this, this community
feeling and we give each other tags.
Thank God 'cause I'm my writing is like, I'm such a lazy writer
these days. I'm just writing on stage like,
oh, maybe I'll remember to say this again kind of thing.
I used to be more disciplined. I I kind of miss the craft.
Like I don't feel like I'm really doing.
(04:45):
The craft is tight, but then comics will go here.
I got A tag for you and I'm like, gift, yeah.
I don't understand how people don't want that being like, if
this makes the joke snap that much better at the very end of
being like, yeah, I'll take it being like, but people are like,
no, I have to write it. It's like, who cares?
Like it works and it like ties in.
I don't know. I think, and I think it depends
on where you are in your career as well as maybe you're still
trying to prove yourself. But but there are certain
(05:07):
communities where if you go to Lai, I gave somebody A tag there
and they looked at me like I hadspit on them.
And I was like, I I'm so sorry. I thought it was a funny idea.
But anyway, hey, let's talk about you.
Yeah, let's talk about you and your.
So you are an engineer. You are a mechanical engineer.
Is that what you said? Yeah, mechanical engineer by
(05:27):
trade. Quit my corporate job in 2017
and started my own like contracting freelancing company.
So now I'm kind of a gun for hire and and just do product
design on various kitchen appliances and mayonnaise pumps
and all sorts of fun stuff. But you know, you make a
difference in people's lives. I mean, big differences.
(05:48):
We were just, you know, I was just opening a travel mug in the
kitchen. You're like, hey, do you like
that travel mug? And you're like, I work for that
company and I'm like, I love, I mean, I seriously makes a
difference in my life. I can go take my tea, put it
inside my backpack, not worry about my my laptop.
Yeah, the Contigo Snap Seal 2.0.That's a great problem.
(06:10):
Damn it. We should we should get a
sponsor. Why didn't I?
I didn't bring it in here. But anyway, yeah, you guys have
to picture it. Yeah.
They sell my Costco for two in 2packs.
That was the, that was like the first item we got in at Costco
and I was, I was working with Contigo for a while and that was
like a big deal. We're like, oh, we got the snap
seal in, Costco's in. And you were saying like how
long people worked on that particular snap seal?
(06:31):
The amount of engineering like meetings that go into everyday
products like I think is something people don't realize
of just like every small radius,like the angle of let's see,
like how many pounds of force required to open the thing, like
how easy it is and yeah. Dude, it's perfect.
I got to tell you, whatever theydid, they did it perfectly.
Anything that you've been a partof that way, I appreciate.
(06:53):
We take it for granted all the time.
The layers of work and years that went into, I mean,
everything I'm using right here,I don't know.
Yeah, I'm thousands of hours of meetings of just being like,
yeah, how what's the diameter ofthis pop screen that we it's
like all that stuff just is so long.
Yeah. And and whatever the screen like
the layer like. I guess I never noticed there
are two layers here. Yeah.
(07:14):
But we use two layers. Do we use one layer?
Like do we source it from Thailand?
Do we source it from Shenzhen, like all those things?
Yeah. I mean, and then I'm like, like
there's a part of me that that please, I don't need.
I don't want to know if it's notvegan, you know, because there's
a lot of the thing like I didn'trealize you can't buy.
I looked up vegan car. I I'm not even kidding you.
I like, I want to buy a vegan car, which is a hilarious
(07:37):
concept to begin with that you're spewing.
You know, even if it's an electric, I mean the things that
go into making the battery. Oh yeah, but this isn't vegan.
This is. This is a blood pop screen.
I can feel it. Yeah, don't.
Even you don't even understand how sensitive I am.
No, but it's like, yeah, this anyway.
The stuff that goes into the tires.
I didn't know animal products were in Oh I.
(07:58):
Didn't know that. Either it's upsetting to me and
it's like this, I tell you what,you're living van life, which is
getting close to what I want to do.
I have a Honda Element E camper.I don't know if you saw it in
the parking garage, but I mean the carport.
I don't have a garage, but it's you know, it's got a little pop
top. It's kind of a Westphalia knock
off. Oh yeah, yeah, OK, I didn't see
that, but that's cool. I'll show it to you, but it's
(08:19):
cool. I mean, my fantasy was to spend
more time in it and I did take my son on a 30 day camping trip,
which was my favorite parenting thing.
But the fact that you're out there doing it, you know, a lot
of us are fantasizing about it, how to live, you know, kind of,
you know, close to nature. And, you know, I'm guessing you
like nature. Where's your mouth?
(08:42):
That's most of the goals is justlike I had an inkling up being
like, I think I need more naturein my life than I do like living
in Chicago. And then I like got out of
Chicago and I was like, oh, I need like 99% more nature than I
was getting and need to get out there.
And she feels so good. Like my shoulders lower like 4
inches. It's just like my brain just
feels like it gets like wiped clean every day, like being out
(09:04):
in the trees and breathing freshair.
And it's being like, this is howwe're supposed to live.
This is it. I know, and I was saying I just
keep getting stuck in my phone. I'm getting into that toxic
energy of the of the fight out there right now and I am going
to go to the whatever this will be after the no kings day when I
upload this, but I'm going to gotomorrow.
But I, I don't know, I'm a little nervous about being in
(09:26):
that many people, but I got to say it's a balance, right?
Of like, what is mine to do? And and then how do I recharge,
you know? Yeah, what's what's the No Kings
Day? Oh, it's, it's this huge like
demonstration, worldwide demonstration against
dictatorship and fascism going on.
That sounds like something I should have known.
(09:46):
We can edit this out. I haven't been, that's, yeah,
kind of been out. I haven't been paying attention
too much, but it's great to know.
Honestly, I'm jealous. Like good for you, good for you.
Like, hey, you're, you know what, this, this is real too.
I'm we're looking, I'm looking out the window at these
beautiful Aspen leaves and this is real.
This is happening. This is important.
(10:06):
I mean, Mother Nature. This is what's really the
reality. I mean, not all this electronic
and fighting and politics is, yeah, I don't even know.
It's like a social construct that's gone crazy.
It is. It is.
That's one of the most beautifulthings that when I was in, like,
the redwoods this summer. And just like there's redwoods
that are, you know, 700 years old and you're just like, they
(10:30):
are completely unperturbed by any BS that we're concerned with
and like, they're going to just be doing their thing for another
100. And it's like, yeah, that's the
Mother Nature doesn't care aboutall this stuff.
They just, the trees just keep treeing.
Yeah. The trees keep treeing.
That could be your bumper sticker put.
That in the band. That's your album.
(10:53):
When you think about your comedy.
I'm just curious, you know, thanks for coming on Traumedy.
And I don't know if there's anything that you relate to as
far as releasing any traumas or like what's, you know, I know as
a, as an engineer, one thing I love about engineers is they're
left and right brained. That's what I've heard.
You know, they're very creative,but they also have that
(11:15):
analytical part. So it's a lot of integration
that you do. And I think comedy can kind of
do that, that little weaving of trauma and lightness.
But I don't know if is there anything in your act that you
would that sparks a thing of release for you?
Or is there a reason that you started doing comedy?
Yeah, I mean, I started doing comedy after I got fired from a
(11:38):
engineering job. And so it was like a very high
stress thing. And I had that, you know, kind
of ego death type moment where this identity gets ripped away
or is being like, oh, maybe I'm can't hack it as an engineer.
Maybe I'm never going to make itas an engineer.
And then I was like, well, if this dream job I thought I had
went away, and then also this relationship with this girl I
thought was like this dream girlthat went away at the same time.
(12:00):
And it's like both these things gets rid both these identities
of like perfect boyfriend, perfect employee, whatever gets
crumbled down. And then I was like, well, if
that didn't make me happy, all these things that supposedly
were it, then what should I do that makes me happy?
And then I was reading a self help book at the time was like,
if you want to chase happiness, like do what you were
compulsively doing before the age of 10 when no one was
(12:22):
telling you what to do. I love this.
And I was like, well, I was justmaking funny videos with my
friends, like drawing cartoons and trying to make my friends
laugh. And at the time was like to and
from work, I was just like compulsively consuming so much
comedy and podcasts. And I was like, all right,
there's something here like you got to just try it.
And then the first time I got onstage is like my brain just lit
(12:44):
up like a Christmas tree. I.
Was like oh this is. It this is it you?
Knew it. Yeah.
That's cool. So you were using comedy as a
resource to and from work to kind of help get rid of that
stress totally. Because I think you mentioned to
me that, and I don't know if it's the same job, but the one
that really it was so much aboutget, you know, the sales part of
it and getting into new like you're saying like how you guys
(13:06):
celebrated with Contigo about getting into Costco.
It was a different one. But it was like, yeah, you got
to have you got to keep push, push, push, push, push.
There's no like, yay, let's celebrate what we just did.
There's more like what's next, marketing and.
Totally like every six months was like if you don't get one
into Toys-R-Us, you're, you might be on the hot seat like
you got to you got to deliver and it was just this high
pressure like I got, I hope Target likes my prototype and if
(13:29):
they don't then. Then I have no self worth, you
know, like that's where, that's where it gets tricky, right?
Where it's like, I'm not, I'm not, yeah, I'm not worthy of
whatever the target approval. Yeah.
And and then a couple of that with like I didn't know how to
fix my relationship at the time.So that was like crumbling.
I didn't know what to do. And we had kind of this anxious
I was avoiding attached. Now that I now I know that and
(13:52):
then yeah, I have an inkling. I won't speak for her, but I
think she was a little bit anxious attached.
So we have this anxious avoidantlike clawing and then wanting
distance and clawing and wantingdistance.
And that was going on. And then so then I wasn't
getting stuff delivered in and this job.
And then I was that manifested and I was having panic attacks
in the bathroom. Like during the Christmas rush
where there's like Frosty the snowman playing over the law.
(14:13):
And I'm just like crumbling in the bathroom was just like, I'm
a holy jolly Christmas. And I'm like, Oh my God, I don't
know what to do. Oh, this has got to be in your
next short film or whatever. Something, yeah.
But having a panic attack to holly jolly Christmas.
No, it's so perfect, though. It's so perfect.
(14:34):
It's so the juxtaposition of ourlife, the insanity that we live
in. Yeah.
I love that you did the animatronics too.
Have a holly jolly Christmas. I am not having a holly jolly
Christmas. You shut up.
I'm dying here. I'm dying to die to Holly jolly
Christmas. Yeah, that's.
(14:55):
Just fade to black holly, jolly Christmas and it's done.
You know, I have a playlist, butthere's filing cabinet right
here. I got a playlist for my deathbed
and I might put that on it. That's such a good idea.
I might add that to my deathbed playlist.
Yeah, that's probably a perfect,like psychedelic trip playlist
too, you know, you're having a little bit of ego death.
(15:16):
Play the Deathbed playlist, you know.
Dude, I'm loving it so much. That's perfect.
Traumedy, man, I'm telling you. Yeah, mine is.
Mine is bluegrass. Oh brother, Where Art thou
Soundtrack a lot of the songs, love.
That. Soundtrack.
Yeah. I'll fly away.
You know, it's like, is it Jillian?
(15:37):
Do you pronounce it Jillian Welch?
I don't know, I. Don't know, but I got to wipe my
nose. I don't there's no way to do
this. This is another reason I don't
like doing video you can see. And yes, I make my own hankies.
I am a good global citizen. Hold on.
Hold on. Oh, this is a Halloween show
now? What is that joke?
(15:58):
What are hankies? There's boogers in it.
Yeah, how do you make a hanky dance?
Put a little boogie in. It Yeah, Yeah.
Wow. I got to tell you, you're hanky.
Your hanky took the took the prize as far as.
That was not a homemade 1 though, I have to admit.
But it's but it's reused and barely washed I'm going to
guess. I am living in a band.
(16:19):
It's barely. Washed.
You don't waste water. Definitely not that.
Was that was bathed in a stream against a rock a.
Little splash a little. Remember the rock deodorant that
was out for a while? Yeah, that's right.
I wonder. What happened to that?
Is that still out there? Anybody in?
Mineral, there's so many like organic deodorants now.
I think they just got squeezed out native and else just push
(16:40):
them. Out and then it's like yeah that
none of them worked. I can, I can test, I can test
fine. And now that I'm taking
testosterone, which is a fun androgen experience, I have like
I feel it. I'm trying to open a jar again
and that's back to the contigo. How much pressure like I'm so
grateful when I can get something like that open because
(17:01):
there are some of them where my post menopausal female cannot
open is. That that's a great, that's a
great bit. I don't know if you have it's
like, why are you taking testosterone?
I want to open jars again. Yeah, I'm tired of being
dependent. I literally will call my son.
I have a, you know what? I might even splice in here.
I have a photo of me in my kitchen.
(17:21):
I'll show it to you. It's like I have a jar opener,
but it was a big jar of olives that was this big.
They were this big around. So one hand is not going to do
it. So I was, I called my son.
He wasn't available, so I had toput it between my feet and I had
to put it between my feet. I was like, I was determined
because I mean, if I make smashed potatoes and I don't
have olives, go with it. I can't explain why.
(17:41):
I like the juxtaposition of like.
Never tried that. Green olives on the side of
mashed potatoes. It's weird.
It's my thing. OK, but you know what?
A regional thing. It's.
It's a nice region. Right in this region.
It is a Nancy thing. It was like that was Christmas
or something like oh, I like thecool olive like the salty with a
warm. There's nothing we don't need to
(18:03):
talk about it. All I'm saying is opening things
are important. Androgen smells.
All I'm going to say I have different now.
It's gross. I I am really clear that I do.
I will not take another lover inthis lifetime.
I'm pretty sure because I am disgusted by myself.
The smells. I have a 14 year old boy and an
(18:24):
old woman. Just no.
Just a melting pot. No, just no.
Nobody needs that Patchouli. I will be in my own van for
sure. Nobody.
Nobody's getting in my damn van.No Axe.
Oh yeah. If I try to cover it up, which
sometimes my son, he'll give me a ride to say the airport.
And I'm just like, you know, it's OK to like use water and
(18:46):
shower that off. You don't have to cover it, you
know, right? Other smells.
Why do we all, as teenage boys, we all recover it?
We never. It's like we all have to learn
that that's not the way. Yeah, somebody has to teach you.
That's not because obviously doesn't care what I think.
It's very medieval. Remember medieval sachets?
They used to keep whatever I think.
You get made fun of once in the locker room and then you're
(19:07):
like, OK, I'm off Axe forever. It's just got to be 1.
No, that is like axe is sort of.I don't know.
People love to hate on the axe. I don't know enough about it,
but it is not my flavour. Yeah, yeah.
But OK, I feel like I'd probablydidn't answer your question, but
like, so you're you're saying like tram dev, you like infuse
trauma with your like, how do you get yeah.
(19:28):
Thank you for circling back withthe ADHD.
OK, yes, tell me your bit. So you well, you found comedy.
First of all, you had an expression because you had lost
your job, you lost your girlfriend, life was losing some
meaning and and you got this insight.
Go back from the book. What did I love doing before I
was 10? Making movies.
(19:49):
Making films, making people laugh.
Yeah, totally. And yeah, I was going to toss it
to you too. But then I feel like it was such
a superpower of like all these traumatic things and, you know,
life doesn't stop throwing you traumatic things.
And then every single one of those, like there's a little
part of your brain while the trauma is happening and it's
going like, well, this is going to be material.
That's. The good news with comedy, Yeah.
(20:09):
I mean, even right in the middleof the car accident, you're
like, oh, you're rolling. Like this is going to be a great
bit someday, you know? Yeah, totally.
Bleeding AM TS just trying to revive you and be like give me
my notebook, give me my notebook.
Stat, stat, notebook stat. Like seriously, clear, clear.
Get out of my way. I mean, really, I you're not
(20:31):
wrong. I think right now my bits mostly
are cause of this age where I feel like, yeah, my bones are
thinning. I've got more spiritual access,
you know, I am writing preemptive deaths, death bits.
Oh. Nice.
Yeah. So I'm talking about.
Yeah, I've been thinking about death a ton of like, what is
what? So is bones thinning?
Does that mean like your pineal gland is more accessible?
(20:51):
To I made that up, but it soundsgood, doesn't it does I mean, I
do have osteoporosis. So I figure like, oh, porous,
that means I'm getting more access.
Yeah, I I do feel like in my crown chakra, I know that those
soft spots don't open up again, but maybe they do in a, maybe in
a, in a because. That's apparently like how some
type of chameleon, how they likedo their camouflage.
(21:12):
It's not by their eyesight. They don't look at things and
then determine I need to turn into a tree.
Like cuz when they're like shut down, their eyes are closed.
They still know the environment and they're one of the only
creatures that has like a pinealgland, like right on the surface
of their skin that can get like affected by heat and like
outside area. So there's they're tap like the
(21:32):
theory is they're tapping into something that's seen for them
and then they can activate the camel toes.
Wow like a third eye on the crack.
Yeah Okra. Well, you know when you drive
cars now, like I rent, I have anold 2008, but I rent cars on the
road and they can see you. They look down at you in the
parking lot. Have you seen that on the
(21:54):
camera? It shows you the above view and
I'm like, maybe that's like the whatever amphibious.
What animal was it? Some type of chameleon?
I can't. Yeah.
Iguana or something? Yeah.
I got those iguana eyes here. I'm ready.
I'm ready. Well, the Inuit say the people
with misaligned eyes are the visionaries, so I'm not.
(22:17):
I'm not Inuit, but I do have some visions and I do see into
Infinity, so I feel cool. That's the blessing and curse of
the Strabismus. Is is can does that happen like
in, in psychedelic space to likebe able to?
Oh yeah, yeah. Yeah, you know Steve Gillespie.
Have you met him yet? I met him in North Carolina,
(22:38):
actually, Yeah. He's coming through for We Love
Steve. He was on season one or two.
We got to got to check out Steveand he has the Doe Show and I
got to tell you those are Matt. You have you've got to do a dose
comedy show. I've never done one that'll be
amazing. You know, you eat a little bit
of plant medicine, which I'm starting to feel like I may have
(22:58):
done that recently. I'm starting to have a little
impact. So Steve's shows are are
literally magical and healing. And when I do them, I think my,
whatever it is, you know, 5th generation nurse, I always say.
And before that we were called witches.
So I do feel like there's something in my psyche that sort
(23:19):
of senses things, and with help of a little medicine.
Yeah, just opens it up. Yeah, and I tend to voice things
that maybe need are needed in that room at the moment.
And then I have these wild connections afterwards where
people want to continue the connection, but it's like, hey,
it's not me. I'm just a conduit.
(23:40):
I I brought you the message, butit's really not me.
Yeah, just getting out of the getting out of its way and being
like, I'm just delivering it. I feel like that's when writing
is the most magical, when you'rejust like, yeah, out of the way
and you're like, all right, I think this is flowing.
Like the muse is here. It's like going through me and
I'm just. Channeling the music.
Yeah. And that's where when I
connected with you, I love, I love your material.
(24:03):
My memory is not great, but I feel like you were doing
material about being an engineerand maybe is it something about
being on the spectrum or was. It the all engineers are on the
spectrum, yeah. Neurodivergent humor.
Yeah, and I'm trying to like, and some people I think get a
little hair triggered about thatbit too.
But it's, you know, if you listen to the whole bit, it's
propping up neurodivergent people where it's like they're
(24:25):
the best engineers, like the best engineers are
neurodivergent. So like, if we want to solve
global warming, we, you know, maybe need to give them more of
a shot and. Then yeah, more of a shot.
I got you and more vaccines, more circumcisions.
Now I don't know if you've seen the news, but and I am anti
circumcision. Ironically, I hate when I agree
with somebody on the topic. I'm actually anti circumcision.
(24:48):
I mean, because it's just brutaland unnecessary and I've
obviously uncircumcised, but I do worry about why we torture
young boys and why we are surprised when the patriarchy
turns against us. Talk about trauma and it's like
starting out step along with thetrauma it's.
(25:10):
Terrible. I had to witness them in nursing
school and it's just awful. And it's nothing I would do to a
person ever or anyone. I mean, any being.
All right, I am bringing us down, but I wanted to say, So
what I love, I love your material, but I also loved off
stage that we were talking, you know?
(25:30):
So fun. We are very much into some
similar things, past life regression.
Yeah, we were getting to that. Yeah.
And I don't know if you feel comfortable sharing that, we can
talk about that later, but do you feel like spirit signs are
there's so much on trauma that tends to have a spiritual
component. So I think people are kind of
used to it by now coming from me, because at this age, my life
(25:53):
is I feel half in the grave. So I'm like, hey, I'm I'm way
into like what? What's beyond the physical right
now anyway? But with the did what, what
happened in your past life that did you?
OK, listen, do do you want to talk about it?
Sure, I can. Yeah, I can talk because I had a
couple of past life regressions and we didn't talk about the
Group One either. But we talked about like the
(26:14):
first one that when I was like having eczema in my hands for
like 7 years, I had really bad eczema.
And I like, you know, couldn't do a lot of things, couldn't
rock climb anymore and done all these crazy diets and things
that were like helping a little bit, but it was still popping
up. And then did this past life
regression in Denver here and back in the spring and it was
(26:35):
like kind of took me and I was still like very conscious the
whole time. It's like kind of just active
imagination, like they're guiding you through and be like,
what do you see? And I wasn't into like woo woo
stuff a little, but I've been getting more into it and every
time I get like more into it, I'm like, OK, how do you explain
some of the like some of the stuffs?
Just totally. And you're a scientist.
(26:57):
It's not like you're a woo woo guy.
Like you are grounded in hard facts.
Yeah, and I got more into the past life regression because it
was this book Journey of Souls by Michael Newton, I think, and
he was putting people under hypnosis for like curing,
smoking and stuff like this. And then you'd have started just
getting curious about like asking about past lives.
And everyone kind of had, didn'tmatter cultural background, age
(27:18):
or anything. Everyone had a pretty standard
thing. It was like repeatable over all
these different sample sizes. And then he started asking him
what's going on between your lives.
And that's where it got wild of like everyone had a similar
answer yet again, where it's like you're in this school of
like 4 to 5 souls. You go through, look at your
life, where did you add karma? Where did you did not?
(27:40):
And you're like, you're working with a guide and then you like
choose to go back into another. And almost everyone had the same
experience. And then what was the most wild
was he, he kind of interviewed this group of gals and they were
like, oh, yeah, we were, we think we have the sole
connection. And they all got hypnotized
separately. And they're like, yeah, it was
like us three. And then this guy like Brian or
(28:01):
whatever, and he wasn't with them and he gave him his last
name. And so the girls came out and
they're like going through it and they're like, yeah, well, I
don't know about this guy Brian that apparently was in our soul
family, but like we were in thissoul family learning in between
lives. So he tracks down this guy the
the name and he like says like, hey, I'll fly out just to do.
And this is a very like analytical guy.
He's like, I don't buy into any of this stuff.
(28:23):
Brings him in. He.
Solicited him, by the way. Yeah, I mean, I don't know this
book. I'm just listening.
Yep, this is exactly he's listedhim.
And so he comes out and he's like, all right, I guess I'll
try it, you know. And so he goes under.
Ask him about life between livesand he's like, it's me and these
three girls, like names, the three girls exactly that.
Yeah. And how?
Like he has no preparation. They don't know each other from
(28:46):
this life anyways. I mean, it, it, it begs the
question, how? I mean, even there's this
podcast right now called The Telepathy Tapes about people on
the spectrum. I mean, how are they doing that?
I don't know so I'm way open to it.
I just want to say I. Just want to put a background of
like, this is how I was getting into it of like there's a lot
of, there's a lot of data. If you just look at what's out
(29:06):
there, there's a lot of experimental stuff that's
saying, look, there's something going on here that.
And this has been going on, you and I both know you did you say
you knew Dolores Cannon or of her?
And she's from the Ozarks. And it's so weird that there's a
I've only talked to like three or four other people that know
of her and one of them was in Homer, AK and now you.
And I'm like, OK, I mean, it just says something So.
(29:28):
But these are all people you could look up on YouTube or you
could find that book A. Lot of stuff so.
You had an experience that helped you with your and your.
You haven't. I haven't had eczema since.
So yeah, that's the that's the get cut into the chase.
Like I haven't had eczema since I did this past life regression
because we went in and it was like a lot of stuff that I'm
repeating in this life, which was like putting all this
(29:49):
pressure that if I don't fix, I was like, you know, an architect
in this past life in ancient Egypt.
And I didn't fix this problem that was going on.
You know, just to summarize it quickly, it was like I was
carrying these buckets of water trying to like fix this thing
and it might. It was tearing into my hands.
And this boss was like freaking out.
And I was like, the weight of the world is on my shoulders.
(30:09):
Like the river is going to dry up and like the village is going
to everyone's going to die and everyone's going to blame me.
And then I, like, carried that to my grave and that lifetime
that I didn't fix the problem and that, you know, everyone
suffered because of me. And then it was like, you know,
we kind of went in and like gavethat guy some grace around.
Like, look, there were so many other environmental factors to
(30:30):
that river drying up. And like everything like this
wasn't because he didn't work hard enough or weren't smart
enough or didn't deliver on it. And it was a similar feeling of
like when. You were a scapegoat, yeah.
Yeah, and it was a similar feeling of that in, you know,
getting fired from that job too.And that's kind of when the
eczema started of like getting fired from that job was around
that time of like putting that weight of like, well, I didn't
(30:53):
deliver for these people that had faith in me and I didn't,
you know, I wasn't the engineer they thought they that I was or
whatever it was or, and feeling inadequate and then tying in
some of that forgiveness to. Feeling like the world's going
to. Yeah, there was just so much
heaviness around it that didn't really forgive myself for.
And so forgive myself for that past life, forgiving myself for
this life of it's fine that thatdidn't work out.
(31:14):
There's so many factors. And, you know, that relationship
and all these things that were going on my life, just being a
24 year old and not knowing how to deal with like growing up in
a very hyper masculine hockey culture in northern Minnesota,
Like I didn't have emotional intelligence skills.
And so I was just, all of it wasmanifesting in a panic.
That's like, of course that blewup and it's like I have some
(31:35):
freak. On the floor of the bathroom.
Like, of course, that led to panic attacks in the bathroom.
Like what do you expect? And this eczema, man, it's
fascinating to me. Isn't it amazing?
Like, do you wonder about your higher self repeating one of the
things? There's another guy, Brian
Weiss, and he'll say it's not really karma.
(31:55):
It's so much like if you don't learn the lesson, you're going
to get it. You're going to try again in
this lifetime, if you're going to try again in this lifetime to
get the lesson, which is you arenot responsible for the weight
of the world. And I maybe I need to hear this
today because I do take it on like I'm not doing enough to
speak up for the voiceless animals.
I'm not doing enough. And I, I mean, under the
(32:17):
influence of this medicine that we may or may not have taken.
I, I feel the grief of that. Like I need to grieve that.
Like I cannot save them. And I cannot tell you, I wish I
could. I wish I could save.
I wish I could stop suffering all over the world.
Like I feel like what is mine todo and how do I stop suffering?
(32:38):
I don't know what is that appropriate?
Maybe the suffering is what is, you know, like there's another
bigger. Like all of a sudden I just had
this. I went up a little higher to
look down and go, well the suffering is part of the sole
agreement and it's just like GodI want to.
Can I please unsubscribe? Right, and it's but it's part of
their sole agreement too. Like they came in and wanted
(33:02):
this experience and it's, you know, did that.
We don't have the control necessarily to alter all these
experiences that that, you know,they came here to have, even
though it's it looks bleak. We label it good or bad and, and
evils being done to these people.
And but it's, it is all perfect in the universal plan of like
unfolding the way. And I think like being small, at
(33:23):
least for me, I'm like trying toremember like, OK, I am a small
piece of this universal plan. And it's like, yeah, you can
make the active loving choice every moment.
OK, There is a God choice in every moment to make and be
giving and and and loving, But that doesn't mean that like
you're failing if you're not like loving the most amount of
(33:44):
people. It goes back to like the tree.
It's like, is the one tree that's like 6 inches higher than
the other tree? Is the shorter one being like,
well, I'm not that Redwood so. What's the point?
Yeah. Provided that much shade for
people. Thank you.
I really needed to hear this. I think, you know, like I say
this, this podcast really a selfish.
Well, selfish. I don't know.
(34:05):
I'm yeah. I mean, I'm doing this to help
heal myself. If you're dealing with it.
I mean, the, the, the, you know,the motto is help heal myself
and others. So I know there's somebody else
suffering the same and you've suffered this way.
And thank you for being so vulnerable about it.
You know, like, especially Someone Like You just shared
your back story a little bit that you came from this very
patriarchal, you know, hockey playing.
(34:28):
Like we don't, we don't do this.Like we Minnesotans and I, you
know, or whatever, me Missourians, we're kind of stoic
too, you know? Like we don't, we don't stop and
do this, you know? I had anger and that was it.
That was the only emotion you'reallowed to really express and be
like, just let it boil all down into anger.
And it's like there's a lot of other ones you can experience,
(34:49):
turns out. But that healed part, that
healed that, and probably a lot more than just the eczema, Yeah,
I'm guessing. Yeah, I think it made me a lot
better just practically at my job too.
So I don't know if anyone's curious about how do I just stop
putting so much pressure on myself and my career and
advancing. It's like it helped.
Just zoom out and go like, look,there is some universal
(35:13):
organization and a lot of stuff that we don't know that's
happening in subconscious, in these other, in the astral
plane, all these other areas. And it's so unbelievably complex
that we're not going to be able to fathom it.
And so trying to be like, well, yeah, I needed to do more.
And it just takes some of the weight off that.
Just to do what's right in frontof you, like right now, here's
(35:34):
my task or here's what I've signed up to do.
Like, and I love that you're a contract worker now and you can
say no to things and like, you know what?
I don't need to be in that toxicwork environment or climb,
climb, climb. I can like, hey, I'm a problem
solver. I have access to a lot of
creative muses and I can help solve this problem.
And you have the skill set. I mean, you also have the
(35:55):
engineering background. It's that integration again with
creativity meets skills, you know?
Yeah, and and the other gift of comedy that I forgot to mention
was just the another pressure release valve from engineering
where I was putting so much intoengineering and product design
to be like, this has to be my creative outlet.
This has to be like my tribe of people.
This has to be like my way to make money.
(36:17):
And now it's just my way to makemoney.
And it's so much more freeing where it's like I'm going to put
all my creative effort into likecomedy and building out my van
and things like that. And then the problems there's.
Communing with nature. Yes, and then the problems in
engineering just like all of a sudden just appear.
Put them in and yeah. Or the solutions appear to these
problems that used to die just sweat over and it was like, oh,
(36:39):
right now if I take a break and go do all these creative things
and I come back to engineering, it's just like, oh, my brain
subconscious figured it out. Cool.
That's and, and those are those gifts of like the subconscious.
And there are studies that show when people take a comedy break
in the middle of trying to solvea problem, they actually solve
the problem faster. Counterintuitive.
And, and we know this, I, I don't know it's attributed to
(37:00):
Thomas Edison, but I've heard itattributed to other inventors.
You probably know the right one where they're laying on a, on a
couch trying to solve a problem,that they're holding a plate and
a spoon or something. And then they fall asleep and
they drop and that that subconscious twilight sleep
state is where they solve the problem yes so being it's like,
ohh, I got it totally gotta right like when the.
(37:22):
Bridge between the conscious andsubconscious.
Like gets closer and closer and closer.
And then the whole analogy of like the near death experience,
like we were talking about earlier, like giving my Nope,
yeah, where's my voice memo that's.
Where the magic is, it's in thatdarkness, like in that void,
totally. And it's like, but it's you got
to get real quiet. You got to get meditative to
like be able to get to that. Bridge or super silly.
(37:43):
I mean, I'm going to tell you, Idon't know that it has to be
quiet, but I I hear that quiet is good.
But I also in my world, it's like also like just letting that
letting, letting the ripples ripple, you know?
True. Yeah.
Getting the sillies, Yeah. The sillies and then it just, I
think, yeah, quiet, whatever, whatever you can do to shut.
Down quiet. What you mean is like quiet the
(38:03):
fear, quiet the. Fear quite the analytical mind
quiet the. Quiet the voice editor.
Shame and doubt. Yes, Yes, the inner critic.
Quiet the inner critic. Yes.
OK. And either make it louder, make
the other stuff louder, like thelaughter and everything, the
silliness louder, or just quiet the whole system.
Yeah, yeah. Or.
Or like take it, go through the other side, like OK, get louder.
Come on, inner critic bring like, sometimes I'll be like,
(38:25):
tell me more, tell me more. Like, so I'm not going to shut
it down. Like tell me more.
Tell me more about what a shittyperson I am.
Oh, tell me what a bad person I am.
Like, I mean, like to the point where it's so ridiculous.
Like really like, I it was me that I actually am in charge of
the whole world. Yeah, I don't think.
I just started doing this and I'm so late, brother, because
it's been working so well for meof like when I have a inner
(38:46):
thought that just keeps ruminating.
That's like editor whatever doubt, fear.
And I got a physically acted outof just being like, well, I'm
not a good enough engineer and like whatever, give the thing
the voice and then just do it for like 30 seconds.
Be like, no one's ever going to hire me again.
My work's dried up and I'm nevergoing to have and I just give it
and then it's like it gives it avoice and I'll be like, is that
(39:07):
what we really think? And it's like, I guess not.
All right, you're right. Or like the other and then the
other, the other role-playing because I'm all about these
inner family systems. I think we talked about that
too. So many things we're clicking
on. And I was like, oh, yeah, the
other thing is just to be grateful.
Like, hey, thanks for trying to save me.
You know, like I know, like my inner critic I know is partly my
(39:31):
mom, of course, but it's now mine.
I own it. She has passed on thanks to me.
Don't want to brag, but I did help her move forward, not in
the best way. I mean it was the best I could
do. She always says I hear her say
you did your best, forget the rest.
Like I actually did help medicate my mother and like,
come on, like with Hospice help.But it was like it could have
(39:52):
been faster. But I guess it was her path.
Like we got to trust her suffering.
God, I don't like suffering anyway, OK.
This is the medicine has kicked in.
That that the ifs like they inner created making friends
with that even as. You, you just did it real.
Time there where you're just like the inner credit came up of
like I didn't do a good enough job like helping my mother pass
and be like, no, we did and like.
(40:13):
And actually, we got that messages did your best, forget
the rest. Yeah.
And like, you have to talk it real time every time because it
wants to grab the driver's seat and goes, no, like, this isn't
your job right now. We don't need you in the
driver's seat. Like, thanks so much for what
you do. Like, this is really nice when
we need to edit videos and be critical, like you're really
good at this. But right now we're trying to
this is going. To be my favorite dramedy
(40:34):
episode. I don't know if anyone else will
get it. That's OK.
You know what maybe eat a handful of mushrooms and TuneIn
and see if it vibes with you. But this is I mean, thank you so
much for helping me like I feel seen and known and understood on
so many levels with you. Like I'm like so I'm so grateful
to have a friend in the world like you because you don't
understand. I know I'm 65.
(40:56):
You're only 36. But like, we need friends.
We need people that are like, OK.
Yeah, I'm so glad I met you herebeing new and like, you know,
didn't don't know a lot of people here yet.
And this is like, oh, all right,who?
Knows we may have had some past life experience.
I, I, I, I don't know, I, I hopeI wasn't the asshole in Egypt,
but I could have been. Now it sounds.
Dude, it sounds like me. I I am so critical.
(41:18):
I am, I'm like, you can do better, you can do better.
And it's like, oh shit, you knowwhen I did a past life
regression on psilocybin, not past life.
Sorry, take that back. I did a psychedelic therapy
journey on medicine and I becamemy mother and, and me at the
same time. Like I was her.
I was me. I was everywhere at once.
And it was like, oh shit, she is, you know, she did her very
(41:40):
best under her life. You know, somebody was critical
to her And, and now I'm criticalto my son.
And I'm like every day I have tosay, I'm so sorry.
You don't deserve that. And it's OK to like say, hey, we
can do, you know, like I was just saying, thank you for
emptying my compost. This is a real time thing.
Today I went out of town, so I had a putrid compost thing in my
(42:04):
kitchen. I'm saying, would you mind
emptying that and spraying it out?
So when I come home, I don't come home to the smell.
And he did it, but then he forgot to turn off the spigot
and he left the nozzle connect. But he doesn't know it doesn't
it drips. So I just told him like within
the last hour, I said, hey, thank you for taking my comments
out. But hey, just so, you know,
(42:25):
water, you know, continued to drip.
And it's sad we wasted a lot of water.
But, you know, I was trying not to do it with the energy I used
to do it with. I was just like, hey, is there
any way you could do better? Like, how could you be more in
the present moment with that? And you know.
What I mean? Instead of like you're a bad
because the energy used to be you're a bad person for doing
(42:46):
that. And I mean that's I was Yep, and
I was offloading what my mother did and it was like, you know
what, we're all doing our best. And I know this is a small like
drops of water, but it's like. It's how you do one thing.
It's how you do everything. So it's like trying to, yeah,
it's like. Just like be in the moment.
Yeah. So it's like if I can change it
here, then I can change it with myself, then I can change it
with my coworkers, I can change it with however many people.
(43:08):
And it's like that habit over and over becomes a belief,
becomes a you know, and then it becomes who you are.
And then and what's going on in him, like, oh, he had a critical
mother that he's like feeling unsafe or whatever.
I'm doing something for my mom that and it smells putrid.
It's, it's one of those like, you don't want to be in the
present moment with that smell, right?
He was probably dissociating. And then he's like, and then
also like, you know, I got to dothis or my mom's not going to
(43:30):
love me. Yeah, I know I can totally.
I can totally see the other sideof it.
It's like, yeah, I just did thisputrid chore that's kind of a
task and I don't want to do it. And now I'm getting harped on
because I missed like 1% of the detail of this putrid and being
like, where's the thanks that I got for doing?
The putrid do it doesn't. I know and like that's the
weirdest part. Like please don't let that over
shadow the gratitude because I kept saying thank you for doing
that. That's amazing.
(43:51):
Yeah. Leading with the gratitude.
Well, but then but then it's also like Blind side thank you
and bam, you know, and it's like, damn it, Nancy, I don't
know the answer. That's the thing.
I really don't know how we don't.
Want to waste water? Well, we don't and it was scared
me because it's my only like this is what I'm leaving to him.
This little whatever townhouse is.
All I have to leave to him is his security.
(44:12):
So it is all fear. You know, it's probably fear and
security. You're like, OK, this is a false
sense of security, but if the pipes freeze, it really things
up this time of year, you know, if you leave water, Yeah.
But I think, I think it goes right back to ifs of like who's
in the driver's seat when they're delivering that message?
Is it the inner critic that goeslike fear based like the water's
(44:32):
going to drip, the thing the pipes are going to freeze and
then we're all going to die. We're going to have mechanic
that's going to cost like 10 grand or like that fear might
like that's the inner critic, what he wants to do when he's
driving or at least I'm talking to my guy he wants.
To do when he's driving the ship.
Like if you can. Yeah.
It's like if you can say, oh, thank you for what you do.
Like I appreciate like, that is a good thing to remember.
Nice job under critic. But for now, when we have this
(44:54):
conversation with this person welove, we're going to have you
like go into the background a little bit, if that's fine.
You can play with your Rubik's Cube if you want.
Like that's what my therapist told me.
Like we have this little space where he does like engineering
puzzles and like is OK, you can kind of like go back here and do
this. But we're going to be in like
the more self energy and we're going to be in the self.
And when we deliver this messagebecause we want to do it with
(45:16):
tact and we want to do it with care.
And we actually want. The solution and appreciation,
yeah. Because we want to convey all
those things, and we also want to.
And energetically. Yes.
And I think it's like the words almost don't matter at that
point. If you're in self energy, the
words really don't. That's right.
Yeah, that's right. And it's all about that energy
of like, I love you, you love me, you helped me and.
(45:36):
Yes. And.
Yes, and. And we're human and we're going
to do these little things where we, and I do it too.
I almost always, and nowadays I end a criticism with, oh man, I
do the same thing or I need a list.
I've got to have a list or we'renot going to get anything done.
And it's not like it's, it's notlike he's not like not doing it
because he's mad or he's trying to, you know, say hey, you.
(45:57):
He's just like, I forgot, you know, I got distracted.
He's down there, he's playing guitar, having a good time.
I could distract it. I forget like it's you're just
you, me on a different day. This is the We're all the same
thing. Yes, that is it, Yeah.
And when we don't even empathizewith ourselves, how do we expect
other people to empathize with other people?
Exactly because it's why it's how you're treating yourself is
(46:19):
how you're going to reflect backin that situation.
If you if you're earner critic and running amok, you're
absolutely going to be inner critic faced when you're dealing
with that situation. And if you don't have self
compassion, however, you're going to have compassion for any
other living being or tree, Yeah, or I mean, a tree is a
being. It all starts with ourselves.
Like, yeah, we're so lacking. And but maybe this is the whole
lesson of all the, you know, layers that we've been through
(46:43):
in Egypt and wherever we were, it's like, oh, the whole time we
were just supposed to learn selflove.
We're just supposed to learn that.
Was one of the most profound. I was in the boundary riders up
in Canada, like maybe second. The biggest boundary waters.
Yeah, it was like with my best friends and and I had, you know,
psychedelic, like psilocybin. And I remember like really going
(47:06):
inward and kind of one on my playlist and like an eye mask.
And I was like, I want to like deal with some stuff.
Let's go like inward. And I ended up like talking to
this like deity. And I'm like, what do I call
you? And he's like, Mr. Mushroom is
fine. And I'm like, OK, yeah, that's.
Mr. Mushroom, of course it's a patriarchal, but that's for you.
It. Was because.
He came to me in a comedy way because.
It knew Mr. Mushroom is definitely not taking himself
(47:28):
too seriously. Yeah.
Mushroom is fine. And I'm like, sure, I love.
Mr. Mushroom Mushroom. I love Mr. Mushroom.
And and but Alice so. Also, it looks like, I mean,
come on, it's if you don't say Mr. Mushroom.
I mean, I don't want to gender apenis but.
Yeah, it's phallic. It's very phallic.
So it makes sense. Anyways, you would have the L
(47:50):
Maybe it's L something in Spanish.
Yeah, but. Anyway, so you were OK, so you
were there. Yes, Boundary Waters BWCA.
Yeah, yeah, the Boundary Waters.Oh.
Man. Expansive.
And so we were in my favorite campsite there, and it was just
like, yeah, sitting in the tent and went inward.
And I was like getting all the and I was like asking it
everything of like, OK, you know, what should I do with all
(48:10):
the And it was. And I was like, well, what is
the point of all this? Like, why are we even here?
And it's like, oh, it's you just, it's just a school so you
can learn how to love each otherproperly.
I'm like, is that it? I'm like, yeah, would you want a
better, bigger answer? And then I was like, well, what
is enlightenment? He's like, it's this sweater.
It's this. It's there and I love it.
I love it. He's just real super casual
about it. What is a nightmare?
(48:32):
It's this. It's this.
It's just right here. And he's like, do you want, did
you want it to be harder? That can make it harder.
I'm like, and then it was like these scary images passed.
I'm like, no, no, no, no, no. This was nice.
I like this. You know what?
Simple. Simple is good.
Simple goodness. Thank you, Mr. Mushroom.
Thank you. You know, maybe we should have
(48:52):
closure and go out and out and not I can't make words, so maybe
it's time to not make words and go out and commune with this
beautiful Mother Earth. Wow, we covered some beautiful
ground today. Really did this is so fun.
You know I'm not. I don't know how to button this
up in any other way except to say thank you.
(49:14):
Thank you. Thank you for the fast
friendship. Yeah, I knew.
I mean, it's just like Bing, Bing, Bing.
I was like, OK, there's a reasonI'm talking to it.
I mean, past lives, Dolores Cannon, psilocybin, nature, all
of it. I have.
I mean, all of it. Thank you.
Thank you for being on this beautiful learning.
(49:36):
What is it? We're learning how to love each
other. How?
To love each other properly properly is also a little bit of
a hand slap I thought. You're a Mr. Mushroom.
Could you be more specific? Mr. Mushroom.
Yeah. Was I loving and correct?
And then the whole spiral begins.
(49:58):
That's was it. Proper love?
You call that proper love? Yeah.
I don't know. It feels like a Monty Python
sketch of it. That was it.
She didn't love me properly. It wasn't proper.
You know what I mean? It's so hard to say Prop like
proper should be spoken in an English accent proper.
It's not proper. It's not proper.
(50:19):
OK, well, we're going to stop. We're going to we're going to
turn all this off and we're going to go properly love each
other in nature. I mean transcend all whatever
this is. All this tackles, yeah, it's
great, It's good tools. But we got we got transcend
nature, time. But we got Transcend.
Yeah, OK, I'm stopping this. OK, I can.
(50:42):
It's my crazy eye. Oh my God, that was one of my
favorite Trauma D episodes. I want to thank my guest Matt
McLean. You can find him on Instagram
and every all the things at GoodOne Maddie good 1G OODONEMATTY
(51:05):
and wow, we had a magical walk around Boulder.
We went to Wonderland Lake. We saw a beautiful hawk eat a
beautiful rabbit. And I really feel like, oh,
there was something up for me inthis healing process about
animals and I know it's part of nature.
I just, I just, I'm OK with eating beans, OK, Just not I'm
(51:27):
not a very good hunter is what it is.
Anyway, I hope everybody's out there loving themselves, love
yourself and love others properly.
And I want to thank my son, Nathaniel Norton.
He's playing guitar in the basement right below me right
now. If you hear any music in the
background, I'm also going to beplaying the trauma D music loop
that he created. So thank you, Nathaniel Norton
(51:48):
and for being my son and helpingme grow as a person and learning
how not to pass on generational trauma and if I do, how to make
amends. You know, when we know better,
we do better. Do the trauma work that you need
to do if you're having trauma reactivity like I do sometimes.
We are all doing our best. Thank you for being a listener.
(52:10):
Let me know if you have any questions, comments or concerns.
And if you want to be a guest onTromedy, reach out to me at
nancynorton.tv. And remember, no matter what,
keep laughing. Subscribe and share Tromedy.
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