October 21, 2025 • 52 mins
S3 E32 - Matt MacLean - Quiet the Inner Critic. Matt is a mechanical engineer and comedian who is exploring van life. He shares openly about struggles with the death of the ego ideal, being tormented by an inner critic, panic attacks, inner family system therapy, past life regressions, healing discoveries, restoring creative flow and so many psychedelic insights.
Recorded in Boulder, CO October 17, 2025
Reach out: https://www.nancynorton.tv/
Connect with Matt MacLean: https://www.instagram.com/goodonematty/
Books and resources mentioned:
reincarnation/past life regressions
https://www.newtoninstitute.org/publication/journey-of-the-souls/
Internal Family Systems:
https://ifs-institute.com/nobadparts
CryBaby-BadAss-Luminary Merch:
https://www.nancynorton.tv/merch
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:04):
You're listening to the Dramedy Podcast with Nancy Norton this
week on Dramedy. And then so then I wasn't
getting stuff delivered in and this job.
And then I was that manifested and I was having panic attacks
in the bathroom like during the Christmas rush where there's
like Frosty the snowman playing over the law because I'm just
(00:24):
like crumbling in the bathroom was just like, I'm a holy Jolie
Christmas and I'm like, I don't know what to.
Do oh, this has got to be in your next short film or
whatever. Something you know.
Somebody having a panic attack to Holly Jolly Christmas.
No, it's so perfect, though. It's so perfect.
(00:44):
It's so the juxtaposition of ourlife, the insanity that we live
in. Yeah, I love that you did the
animatronics, too. Have a holly jolly Christmas.
I am not having a holly jolly. Christmas, you shut up.
I'm dying here. I'm dying to die to Holly Jolly
Christmas, Yeah. That's just fade to black jolly
(01:07):
Christmas and it's done. Trauma plus comedy equals Trauma
D Trauma D is not a replacement for trauma therapy, but it may
help you get by between sessions.
You're listening to Trauma D, the podcast that helps you take
your pain and play with it. I'm Nancy Norton.
I am a former nurse, comedian, and keynote speaker about the
(01:30):
power of humor, why we need it, how it helps us.
Bring the power of humor to yournext event with award-winning
comedian Nancy Norton. Nancy got out of healthcare for
the same reason. A lot of people get into it, to
save lives. Message Nancy at nancynorton.tv.
The Traumedy podcast is sponsored by Crybaby Badass.
(01:53):
You have to feel it to heal it. You are a Crybaby Badass
luminary. See your light in the mirror.
Do you have a trauma? Hey, you listening?
Do you have a traumedy story to share?
If so, send Nancy a message at nancynorton.tv.
Trauma can be isolating and overwhelming.
(02:15):
Share Traumedy with a friend today.
Welcome to Traumedy. My guest this week is Matt
McClain, a comedian and engineerliving the van life right now.
Welcome, Matt. Yeah.
Thank you. Thanks for having me.
(02:36):
Thanks for coming and helping meset up my camera and everything.
Wave at the camera. We got.
It working I don't usually do video 'cause like I said it, I
feel like I want folks to reallydrop into their body or drop
into their you know feelings andstuff and sometimes we can get a
little performative so let's forget about that that doesn't
(02:56):
even that's not even happening it's.
Like the curse of the clip everytime you record a set and it's
like, now I'm out of it and now I don't feel as good.
I. Know when you're not in your
body? Yeah, well, I really appreciated
meeting you the other day. We just met at the Denver Comedy
Underground. You did a set and we were
working. Who are we opening for?
Adam Gilbert, my buddy from Chicago, now lives in New York,
(03:18):
and yeah, he was in town for theweekend and worked out to hang
out with him for a while and drop in for a set.
It was cool. Yeah, I saw one of his reels and
man, I was like this guy, this guy's doing.
Traumedy for sure, and so funny.Yeah, so just like so specific
with his writing and just gets so weird so quick.
Yeah, yeah, this is cool to see.And it was also cool that you
(03:41):
guys knew each other and, like, you're new to Denver, so welcome
to Denver or Colorado. And although you're a man of the
world, you've got a van. You can go wherever you want.
Yeah. I know I keep gravitating
towards Denver. I was out for a little bit for
like 2 months and then I'm back here and I was like hanging out
and working on the van a little bit.
And yeah, I'll probably, I'll probably be in Denver long term,
but I gotta try, you know, I gotta try things out.
(04:01):
I can't make a decision too quick.
So I wanna just, you know, yeah,put up the feelers.
Cuz you were in Chicago and thenyou were in North Carolina.
Yeah. I mean, there's so many great
comedy communities, but I haven't seen one better than
Denver, I gotta be honest. It's really good.
I was really impressed being like you guys have a lot of
clubs and like everything withina short drive like Boulder, Fort
Collins and just every comic I've met here has been like the
(04:24):
most welcoming. Nice.
Person, it's weird we, we reallyhave like this, this community
feeling and we give each other tags.
Thank God 'cause I'm my writing is like, I'm such a lazy writer
these days. I'm just writing on stage like,
oh, maybe I'll remember to say this again kind of thing.
I used to be more disciplined. I I kind of miss the craft, like
(04:44):
I don't feel like I'm really doing the craft is tight, but
then comics will go here. I got A tag for you and I'm like
gift. Yeah, I don't understand how
people don't want that. I've been like, this makes the
joke snap that much better. At the very end of being like,
yeah, I'll take it being like, but people are like, no, I have
to write it. It's like, who cares?
Like it works and it like ties in.
I don't know. I think, and I think it depends
on where you are in your career as well as maybe you're still
(05:05):
trying to prove yourself. But it, but there are certain
communities where if you go to Lai, I gave somebody A tag there
and they looked at me like I hadspit on them.
And I was like, I I'm so sorry. I thought it was a funny idea.
But anyway, hey, let's talk about you.
Yeah, let's talk about you and your.
So you are an engineer. You are a mechanical engineer.
(05:25):
Is that what you said? Yeah, mechanical engineer by
trade. Quit my corporate job in 2017
and started my own like contracting freelancing company.
So I'm kind of a gun for hire and and just do product design
on various kitchen appliances and mayonnaise pumps and all
sorts of fun stuff. But you know, you make a
(05:46):
difference in people's lives. I mean, big differences.
We were just, you know, I was just opening a travel mug in the
kitchen. You're like, hey, do you like
that travel mug? And you're like, I work for that
company and I'm like, I love that.
I mean I seriously makes a difference in my life that I can
go take my tea, put it inside mybackpack, not worry about my my
laptop. Yeah, the Contigo Snap Seal 2.0.
(06:09):
That's a great problem. Damn it.
We should we should get a sponsor.
Why did I? I didn't bring it in here.
But anyway, yeah, you guys have to picture it.
Yeah. They sell my Costco for two in 2
packs. That was that was like the first
item we got in at Costco and I was working with Contigo for a
while and that was like a big deal.
We're like, oh, we got the snap seal in, Costco's in.
And you were saying like how long people worked on that
particular snap seal? The amount of engineering, like
(06:33):
meetings that go into everyday products, like I think it's
something people don't realize of just like every small radius,
like the angle of let's see, like how many pounds of force
required to open the thing, likehow easy it is and yeah.
Dude, it's perfect. I got to tell you, whatever they
did, they did it perfectly. Anything that you've been a part
of that way, I appreciate. We take it for granted all the
(06:54):
time. The layers of work and years
that went into, I mean, everything I'm using right here,
I don't know. Yeah, I'm thousands of hours of
meetings of just being like, yeah, how what's the diameter of
this pop screen that we it's like all that stuff just is so
long. Yeah.
And and whatever the screen likethe layer like.
I guess I never noticed there are two layers here.
Yeah. But we use two layers.
(07:16):
Do we use one layer? Like do we source it from
Thailand? Do we source it from Shenzhen
like all those things? Yeah, I mean, and then I'm like
like there's a part of me that that please, I don't need.
I don't want to know if it's notvegan, you know, because there's
a lot of the thing like I didn'trealize you can't buy.
I looked up vegan car. I I'm not even kidding you.
I like, I want to buy a vegan car, which is a hilarious
(07:37):
concept to begin with that you're spewing.
You know, even if it's an electric.
I mean, the things that go into making the battery.
Oh yeah. But this isn't vegan, this is.
This is a blood pop screen I canfeel.
You don't even understand how sensitive I am.
No, but it's like, yeah, this anyway.
The stuff that goes into the tires.
I didn't know animal products were in Oh I.
(07:58):
Didn't know that either. It's upsetting to me and it's
like this, I tell you what, you're living van life, which is
getting close to what I want to do.
I have a Honda Element E camper.I don't know if you saw it in
the parking garage, but I mean the carport, I don't have a
garage, but it's, you know, it'sgot a little pop top.
It's kind of a Westphalia knock off.
Oh yeah, yeah, OK, I didn't see that, but that's cool.
(08:18):
I'll show it to you, but it's cool.
I mean, my fantasy was to spend more time in it and I did take
my son on a 30 day camping trip,which was my favorite parenting
thing. But the fact that you're out
there doing it, you know, a lot of us are fantasizing about it,
how to live, you know, kind of, you know, close to nature.
And, you know, I'm guessing you like nature.
(08:42):
Where's in your mouth? That's most of the goals is just
like I had, I had an inkling up being like, I think I need more
nature in my life than I do likeliving in Chicago.
And then I like got out of Chicago and I was like, oh, I
need like 99% more nature than Iwas getting and need to get out
there. And she feels so good.
Like my shoulders lower like 4 inches.
It's just like my brain just feels like it gets like wiped
(09:02):
clean every day, like being out in the trees and breathing fresh
air. And it's been like, this is how
we're supposed to live. This is it.
I know, and I was saying I just keep getting stuck in my phone.
I'm getting into that toxic energy of the of the fight out
there right now and I am going to go to the whatever this will
be after the no kings day when Iupload this, but I'm going to go
tomorrow. But I, I don't know, I'm a
(09:24):
little nervous about being in that many people, but I got to
say it's a balance, right? Of like, what is mine to do?
And and then how do I recharge, you know?
Yeah, what's what's the No KingsDay?
Ohh, it's, it's this huge like demonstration, worldwide
demonstration against dictatorship and fascism going
on that. Sounds like something I should
have known. We can edit this out.
(09:49):
I haven't been, that's, yeah, kind of been out.
I haven't been paying attention too much, but it's great to
know. Honestly, I'm jealous.
Like good for you, good for you.Like hey, you're, you know what?
This, this is real too. I'm we're looking, I'm looking
out the window at these beautiful Aspen leaves and this
is real. This is happening.
This is important. I mean, Mother Nature I this is
(10:09):
what's really the reality. I mean, not all this electronic
and fighting and politics is, yeah, I don't even know.
It's like a social construct that's gone crazy.
It is. It is.
That's one of the most beautifulthing that when I was in, like,
the redwoods this summer. And just like there's redwoods
that are, you know, 700 years old and you're just like, they
(10:30):
are completely unperturbed by any BS that we're concerned with
and like, they're going to just be doing their thing for another
100. And it's like, yeah, this is the
Mother Nature doesn't care aboutall this stuff.
They just, the trees just keep treeing.
Yeah. The trees keep treeing.
That could be your bumper sticker.
(10:51):
That's your album when you thinkabout your comedy.
I'm just curious, you know, thanks for coming on Traumedy.
And I don't know if there's anything that you relate to as
far as releasing any traumas or like what's, you know, I know as
a, as an engineer, one thing I love about engineers is they're
left and right brained. That's what I've heard.
(11:12):
You know, they're very creative,but they also have that
analytical part. So it's a lot of integration
that you do. And I think comedy can kind of
do that, that little weaving of trauma and lightness.
But I don't know if is there anything in your act that you
would that sparks a thing of release for you?
Or is there a reason that you started doing comedy?
(11:34):
Yeah, I mean, I started doing comedy after I got fired from a
engineering job. And so it was like a very high
stress thing. And I had that, you know, kind
of ego death type moment where this identity gets ripped away
or is being like, oh, maybe I'm can't hack it as an engineer.
Maybe I'm never going to make itas an engineer.
And then I was like, well, if this dream job I thought I had
(11:54):
went away, and then also this relationship with this girl I
thought was like this dream girlthat went away at the same time.
And it's like both these things gets rid both these identities
of like perfect boyfriend, perfect employee, whatever gets
crumbled down. And I was like, well, if that
didn't make me happy, all these things that supposedly were it,
then what should I do that makesme happy?
(12:14):
And then I was reading a self help book at the time was like
if you want to chase happiness, like do what you were
compulsively doing before the age of 10 when no one was
telling you what to do. I love this.
And I was like, well, I was justmaking funny videos with my
friends, like drawing cartoons and trying to make my friends
laugh. And at the time was like to and
from work. I was just like compulsively
consuming so much comedy and podcasts.
(12:36):
And I was like, all right, there's something here like you
got to just try it. And then the first time I got on
stage was like, my brain just lit up like a Christmas tree.
You knew it. Yeah, that's cool.
So you were using comedy as a resource to and from work to
kind of help get rid of that stress.
Because I think you mentioned tome that, and I don't know if
it's the same job, but the one that really it was so much about
(13:02):
get, you know, the sales part ofit and getting into new like
you're saying like how you guys celebrated with Contigo about
getting into Costco. It was a different one, but it
was like, yeah, you got to have yeah, gotta keep push, push,
push, push, push. There's no like, yay, let's
celebrate what we just did. There's more like, what's next?
Ohh yeah, marketing and. Totally like every six months
was like, if you don't get one into Toys-R-Us, you're you might
(13:22):
be on the hot seat like you gotta, you gotta deliver.
And it was just this high pressure like I got.
I hope Target likes my prototypeand if they don't then.
Then I have no self worth, you know, like that's where, that's
where it gets tricky, right? Where it's like, I'm not, I'm
not. Yeah, I know I'm not worthy of
whatever the target approval. Yeah.
And and then a couple of that with like I didn't know how to
(13:43):
fix my relationship at the time.So that was like crumbling.
I didn't know what to do and we had kind of this anxious, I was
avoiding attached. And now that I now I know that
and then I have an inkling, I won't speak for her, but I think
she was a little bit anxious attached.
So we had this anxious avoidant like clawing and then wanting
distance and clawing and wantingdistance and that was going on.
And then so then I wasn't getting stuff delivered in and
(14:04):
this job. And then I was that manifested
and I was having panic attacks in the bathroom like during the
Christmas rush where there's like Frosty the snowman playing
over the last week. And I'm just like crumbling in
the bathroom was just like, I'm a holy jolly Christmas.
And I'm like, Oh my God, I don'tknow what to do.
Oh, this has got to be in your next short film or whatever.
(14:25):
Something. Else but having a panic attack
to Holly Jolly Christmas. No, it's so perfect though.
It's so perfect. It's so the juxtaposition of our
life, the insanity that we live in.
Yeah. I love that you did.
The animatronics have a holly jolly Christmas.
(14:46):
I am not having a. Holly Jolly Christmas.
You shut up. I'm dying here.
I'm dying to die to Holly Jolly Christmas.
Yeah. That's just fade to black jolly
Christmas and it's done. You know, I have a playlist, but
there's filing cabinet right here.
I got a playlist for my deathbedand I might put that on it.
(15:07):
That's such a good idea. Add that to my deathbed
playlist. Yeah, that's probably a perfect,
like psychedelic trip playlist too, you know, you're having a
little bit of ego death. Play the Deathbed playlist, you
know. Dude, I'm loving it so much.
That's perfect. Traumedy, man, I'm telling you.
Yeah, mine is. Mine is bluegrass.
(15:28):
Oh, brother, Where art Thou soundtrack a lot of the songs.
Wow, that soundtrack. Yeah.
I'll fly away. You know, it's like Jill.
Is it Jillian? Do you pronounce it Jillian
Welch? I don't know, I.
Don't know, but I got to wipe mynose.
I don't there's no way to do this.
This is another reason I don't like doing video.
And yes, I make my own hankies. Oh, I am a good global citizen.
(15:50):
Hold on, hold on. Oh, this is a Halloween show
now? What is that joke?
What are hankies? There's boogers in it.
Yeah. How do you make a hanky dance?
Put a little boogie in it, Yeah?Yeah, wow.
I got to tell you, you're hanky.Your hanky took the took the
prize as far as that. Was not a homemade 1 though, I
(16:12):
have to admit. But it's but it's reused and
barely washed I'm going to guess.
I am living in a band. It's barely.
Washed. You don't.
Wastewater. Definitely not.
That was that was bathed in a stream against a rock.
A little splash, a little. Remember the rock deodorant that
was out for a while? Yeah, that's right.
I wonder. What happened to that?
(16:32):
Is that still out there? Anybody in?
Mineral, there's so many like organic deodorants now.
I think they just got squeezed out native and else just push
them. Out and then it's like, yeah,
that none of them worked. I can I can test, I can testify.
And now that I'm taking testosterone, which is a fun
androgen experience, I have likeI feel it.
(16:54):
I'm trying to open a jar again and that's back to the contigo.
How much pressure, Like I'm so grateful when I can get
something like that open becausethere are some of them where my
postmenopausal female cannot open.
Is that that's a great, that's agreat bit.
I don't know if you have it's like why are you taking
testosterone? I want to open jars again.
Yeah, I'm tired of being dependent.
(17:14):
I literally will call my son. I have a, you know what?
I might even splice in here. I have a photo of me in my
kitchen. I'll show it to you.
It's like I have a jar opener, but it was a big jar of olives
that was this big. They were this big around.
So one hand is not going to do it.
So I was, I called my son. He wasn't available, so I had to
put it between my feet and I hadto put it between my feet.
(17:35):
I was like, I was determined because I mean, if I make
smashed potatoes and I don't have olives, go with it.
I can't explain why. I like the juxtaposition of
like. Never tried that.
Green olives on the side of mashed potatoes.
It's weird. It's my thing.
OK, but you know what A. Regional thing.
It's. It's.
Right in this region. It is a Nancy thing.
It was like that was Christmas or something like oh, I like the
(17:57):
cool olive like the salty with awarm.
There's nothing we don't need totalk about it.
All I'm saying is opening thingsare important.
Androgen smells. All I'm going to say I have
different now. It's gross.
I I am really clear that I do. I will not take another lover in
(18:18):
this lifetime. I'm pretty sure because I am
disgusted by myself. The smells.
I have a 14 year old boy and an old woman.
Just no. Just the melting pot.
No, just no. Nobody needs that Patchouli.
I will be in my own van for sure.
Nobody. Nobody's getting in my damn van.
No Axe. Oh yeah.
If I try to cover it up, sometimes my son, he'll give me
(18:41):
a ride to say the airport. And I'm just like, you know,
it's OK to like use water and shower that off.
You don't have to cover it, you know, right?
Other smells. Why do we all, as teenage boys,
we all recover it. We never.
It's like we all have to learn that that's not.
The way, yeah, somebody has to teach you that's not because
obviously doesn't care what I think.
(19:01):
It's very medieval. Remember medieval sachets?
They used to keep whatever I think.
You get made fun of once in the locker room and then you're
like, OK, I'm off Axe forever. It's just got to be 1.
No, that is like axe is sort of.I don't know.
People love to hate on the axe. I don't know enough about it,
but it is not my flavour. Yeah, yeah.
But OK, I feel like I probably didn't answer your question, but
(19:21):
like so you're you're saying like tram, do you like infuse
tram with your like how do you get?
Yeah, thank you for circling back with the ADHD.
OK, yes, tell me your bit. So you, well, you found comedy,
first of all, you had an expression because you had lost
your job, you lost your girlfriend, life was losing some
(19:41):
meaning and and you got this insight.
Go back from the book. What did I love doing before I
was 10? Making movies.
Making films, making people laugh.
Yeah, totally. And yeah, I was going to toss it
to you too. But then I feel like it was such
a superpower of like all these traumatic things and, you know,
life doesn't stop throwing you traumatic things.
And then every single one of those, like there's a little
(20:02):
part of your brain while the trauma is happening and it's
going like, well, this is going to be material.
That's. The good news with comedy, Yeah.
I mean, even right in the middleof the car accident, you're
like, oh, you're rolling. Like this is going to be a great
bit someday, you know? Yeah, totally.
Bleeding AM DS just trying to revive you and be like give me
my notebook, give me my notebook.
(20:23):
Stat, stat, notebook stat. Like seriously, clear, clear.
Get out of my way. I mean, really, I you're not
wrong. I think right now my bits mostly
are cause of this age where I feel like, yeah, my bones are
thinning. I've got more spiritual access,
you know, I am writing preemptive deaths, death bits.
Oh. Nice.
(20:43):
Yeah. So I'm talking about.
Yeah, I've been thinking about death a ton of like, what is
what? So is bones thinning?
Does that mean like your pineal gland is more accessible?
To I made that up, but it soundsgood, doesn't it does I mean, I
do have osteoporosis. So I figure like, oh, porous,
that means I'm getting more access.
Yeah, I, I do feel like in my crown chakra, I know that those
soft spots don't open up again, but maybe they do in a maybe in
(21:04):
a, in a. Because that's apparently like
how some type of chameleon, how they like do their camouflage.
It's not by their eyesight. They don't look at things and
then determine I need to turn into a tree.
Like, cuz when they're like shutdown, their eyes are closed.
They still know the environment and they're one of the only
creatures that has like a pinealgland, like right on the surface
(21:26):
of their skin that can get like affected by heat and like
outside area. So there's they're tap like the
theory is they're tapping into something that's seen for them
and then they can activate the camel toes.
Wow, Like a third eye on the crack.
Yeah. Yeah.
Well, you know, when you drive cars now, like I rent, I have an
(21:46):
old 2008, but I rent cars on theroad and they can see you.
They look down at you in the parking lot.
Have you seen that on the camera?
It shows you the above you. And I'm like, maybe that's like
the whatever amphibious, what animal was it?
Some type of chameleon? I can't.
Yeah. Iguana or something?
Yeah. I got those iguana eyes here.
(22:10):
I'm ready. I'm ready.
Well, the Inuit say the people with misaligned eyes are the
visionaries, so I'm not. I'm not Inuit, but I do have
some visions and I do see into Infinity, so I feel cool.
That's the blessing and curse ofthis Trabismus.
Is is can does that happen like in, in psychedelic space to like
(22:30):
be able to? Oh yeah, yeah.
Yeah, you know Steve Gillespie. Have you met him yet?
I met him in North Carolina, actually, Yeah.
He's coming through for We Love Steve.
He was on season one or two. We got to got to check out Steve
and he has the Doe Show and I got to tell you those are Matt.
You have you've got to do a dosecomedy show.
(22:50):
I've never done one that'll be amazing.
You know, you eat a little bit of plant medicine, which I'm
starting to feel like I may havedone that recently.
I'm starting to have a little impact.
So Steve's shows are are literally magical and healing.
And when I do them, I think my, whatever it is, you know, 5th
(23:13):
generation nurse, I always say. And before that we were called
witches. So I do feel like there's
something in my psyche that sortof senses things, and with the
help of a little medicine. Yeah, just opens it up.
Yeah, and I tend to voice thingsthat maybe need are needed in
that room at the moment. And then I have these wild
connections afterwards where people want to continue the
(23:36):
connection, but it's like, hey, it's not me.
I'm just a conduit. I I brought you the message, but
it's really not me. Yeah, just getting out of the
getting out of its way and beinglike, I'm just delivering it.
I feel like that's when writing is the most magical, when you're
just like, yeah, out of the way and you're like, all right, I
think this is flowing. Like the muse is here.
It's like going through me and I'm just.
(23:57):
Channeling the music. Yeah.
And that's where when I connected with you, I love, I
love your material. My memory is not great, but I
feel like you were doing material about being an engineer
and maybe is it something about being on the spectrum or was.
It all engineers are on the spectrum, yeah.
Neurodivergent humor. Yeah, and I'm trying to like,
and some people I think get a little hair triggered about that
(24:20):
bit too. But it's, you know, if you
listen to the whole bit, it's propping up neurodivergent
people where it's like they're the best engineers, like the
best engineers are neurodivergent.
So like, if we want to solve global warming, we, you know,
maybe need to give them more of a shot and then.
Yeah, more, more of a shot. I got you and more vaccines,
more circumcisions. Now I don't know if you've seen
(24:40):
the news, but and I am anti circumcision.
Ironically, I hate when I agree with somebody on the topic.
I'm actually anti circumcision. I mean, because it's just brutal
and unnecessary and I've obviously uncircumcised, but I
do worry about why we torture young boys and why we are
(25:02):
surprised when the patriarchy turns against us.
Talk about trauma and it's like starting out step along with the
trauma it's. Terrible.
I had to witness them in nursingschool and it's just awful.
And it's nothing I would do to aperson ever or anyone.
I mean, any being. All right, I am bringing us
down, but I wanted to say, So what I love, I love your
(25:25):
material, but I also loved off stage that we were talking, you
know? So fun.
We are very much into some similar things, past life
regression. Oh yeah, we were getting into
that, yeah. And I don't know if you feel
comfortable sharing that, we cantalk about that later, but do
you feel like spirit signs are there's so much on trauma that
tends to have a spiritual component.
(25:47):
So I think people are kind of used to it by now coming from
me, because at this age, my lifeis I feel half in the grave.
So I'm like, hey, I'm I'm way into like what?
What's beyond the physical rightnow anyway?
But with the did what, what happened in your past life that
did you? OK, listen, do do you want to
talk about it? Sure, I can.
(26:08):
Yeah, I can talk because I had acouple of past life regressions
and we didn't talk about the Group One either.
But we talked about like the first one that when I was like
having eczema in my hands for like 7 years, I had really bad
eczema. And I like, you know, couldn't
do a lot of things, couldn't rock climb anymore and done all
these crazy diets and things that were like helping a little
bit, but it was still popping up.
(26:30):
And then did this past life regression in Denver here and
back in the spring and it was like kind of took me back and I
was still like very conscious the whole time.
It's like kind of just active imagination, like they're
guiding you through and be like,what do you see?
And I wasn't into like woo woo stuff a little, but I've been
getting more into it and every time I get like more into it,
(26:52):
I'm like, OK, how do you explainsome of the like some of the
stuffs? Just totally.
And you're a scientist. It's not like you're a woo woo
guy. Like you are grounded in hard
facts. Yeah, and I got more into the
past life regression because it was this book Journey of Souls
by Michael Newton, I think. And he was putting people under
hypnosis for like curing, smoking and stuff like this.
And then he had started just getting curious about like
(27:14):
asking about past lives and everyone kind of had, didn't
matter cultural background, age or anything.
Everyone had a pretty standard thing.
It was like repeatable over all these different sample sizes.
And then he started asking him what's going on between your
lives? And that's where it got wild of
like everyone had a similar answer yet again, where it's
like you're in this school of like 4 to 5 souls.
(27:36):
You go through, look at your life, where did you add karma?
Where did you did not? And you're like, you're working
with a guide and then you like choose to go back into another.
And almost everyone had the sameexperience.
And then what was the most wild was he, he kind of interviewed
this group of gals and they werelike, oh, yeah, we were, we
think we have the sole connection.
(27:56):
And they all got hypnotized separately.
And they're like, yeah, it was like us three.
And then this guy like Brian or whatever, and he wasn't with
them and he gave him his last name.
And so the girls came out and they're like going through it
and they're like, yeah, well, I don't know about this guy Brian
that apparently was in our soul family, but like we were in this
soul family learning in between lives.
So he tracks down this guy the the name and he like says like,
(28:18):
hey, I'll fly out just to do. And this is a very like
analytical guy. He's like, I don't buy into any
of this stuff. Brings him in.
He. Solicited him, by the way.
Yeah, I mean, I don't know this book.
I'm just listening. Yep, this is exactly.
He's listed him. And so he comes out and he's
like, all right, I guess I'll try it, you know?
And so he goes under asking about life between lives, and
he's like, it's me and these three girls, like names the
(28:39):
three girls exactly that. Yeah.
And how like, he has no preparation.
They don't know each other from this life anyways.
I mean, it, it begs the question, how?
I mean, even there's this podcast right now called The
Telepathy Tapes about people on the spectrum.
I mean, how are they doing that?I don't know so I'm way open to
(28:59):
it. I just want to say I.
Just want to put a background oflike this is how I was getting
into it of like there's a lot of, there's a lot of data.
If you just look at what's out there, there's a lot of
experimental stuff that's saying, look, there's something
going on here that. And this has been going on, you
and I both know you did you say you knew Dolores Cannon and
she's from the Ozarks. And it's so weird that there's a
(29:19):
I've only talked to like three or four other people that know
of her and one of them was in Homer, AK.
And now you. And I'm like, OK, I mean, it
just says something So. But these are all people you
could look up on YouTube or you could find that book.
Have. You had an experience that
helped you with your in your. You haven't.
I haven't had eczema since. So yeah, that's the that's the
(29:40):
get cut into the chase. Like I haven't had eczema since
I did this past life regression because we went in and it was
like a lot of stuff that I'm repeating in this life, which
was like putting all this pressure that if I don't fix, I
was like, you know, an architectin this past life in ancient
Egypt. Now, I didn't fix this problem
that was going on, you know, just to to summarize it quickly,
(30:00):
it was like I was carrying thesebuckets of water trying to like
fix this thing and it might. It was tearing into my hands.
And this boss was like freaking out.
And I was like, the weight of the world is on my shoulders.
Like the river's going to dry upand like the village is going to
everyone's going to die and everyone's going to blame me.
And then I like carried that to my grave and that lifetime that
I didn't fix the problem and that, you know, everyone
(30:21):
suffered because of me. And then it was like, you know,
we kind of went in and like gavethat guy some grace around.
Like, look, there were so many other environmental factors to
that river drying up. And like everything like this
wasn't because he didn't work hard enough or weren't smart
enough or didn't deliver on it. And it was a similar feeling of
like when. A scapegoat?
Yeah. Yeah.
(30:42):
And it was a similar feeling of that in, you know, getting fired
from that job too. And that's kind of when the
eczema started of like getting fired from that job was around
that time of like putting that weight of like, well, I didn't
deliver for these people that had faith in me and I didn't,
you know, I wasn't the engineer they thought they that I was or
whatever it was or, and feeling inadequate and then tying in
(31:02):
some of that forgiveness to. Feeling like the world's going.
To yeah, there was just so much heaviness around it that didn't
really forgive myself for and soforgive myself for that past
life, forgive myself for this life of it's fine that that
didn't work out. There's so many factors with,
you know, that relationship and all these things that were going
on my life just being a 24 year old and not knowing how to deal
with like growing up in a very hyper masculine hockey culture
(31:24):
in northern Minnesota, Like I didn't have emotional
intelligence skills. And so I was just, all of it was
manifesting in a panic that's like, of course that blew up.
And it's like I have some freakiness on the.
Floor of the. Bathroom like, of course that
led to panic attacks in the bathroom.
Like what do you expect? And this eczema, man, it's
(31:45):
fascinating to me. Isn't it amazing?
Like do you wonder about your higher self repeating one of the
things? There's another guy, Brian
Weiss, and he'll say it's not really karma.
It's so much like, if you don't learn the lesson, you're going
to get it. You're going to try again in
this lifetime. You're going to try again in
this lifetime to get the lesson,which is you are not responsible
(32:07):
for the weight of the world. And I maybe I need to hear this
today because I do take it on like I'm not doing enough to
speak up for the voiceless animals.
I'm not doing enough. And I, I mean, under the
influence of this medicine that we may or may not have taken.
I, I feel the grief of that. Like I need to grieve that.
Like I cannot save them. And I cannot tell you.
(32:29):
I wish I could. I wish I could save.
I wish I could stop suffering all over the world.
Like I feel like. What is mine to do and how do I
stop suffering? I don't know.
Where? Is that appropriate?
Maybe the suffering is what is, you know, like there's another
bigger, like all of a sudden I just had this.
I went up a little higher to look down and go, well the
suffering is part of the soul agreement and it's just like
(32:53):
God. I want to.
Can I please unsubscribe? Right.
And it's but it's part of their soul agreement too, like.
They. Came in and wanted this
experience and it's, you know, did that we don't have the
control necessarily to alter allthese experiences that that, you
know, they came here to have. Even though it's it looks bleak.
We label it good or bad and and evils being done to these people
(33:15):
and but it's it is all perfect in the universal plan of like
unfolding the way. And I think like being small, at
least for me, I'm like trying toremember like, OK, I am a small
piece of this universal plan andit's like, yeah, you can make
the active loving choice every moment.
There is a God choice in every moment to make and be giving and
(33:37):
and and loving, but that doesn'tmean that like you're failing if
you're not like loving the most amount of people.
It goes back to like the tree. It's like is the one tree that's
like 6 inches higher than the other tree?
Is the shorter one being like, well, I'm not that Redwood so I
haven't I what's? The point?
Yeah. Provided that much shade for
people. Thank you.
(33:58):
I really needed to hear this. I think, you know, like I say
this, this podcast really a selfish.
Well, selfish. I don't know.
I'm yeah. I mean, I'm doing this to help
heal myself. If you're dealing with it.
I mean, the, the, the, you know,the motto is help heal myself
and others. So I know there's somebody else
suffering the same and you've suffered this way.
(34:18):
And thank you for being so vulnerable about it.
You know, like, especially Someone Like You just shared
your back story a little bit that you came from this very
patriarchal, you know, hockey playing.
Like we don't, we don't do this.Like we Minnesotans and I, you
know, or whatever, me Missourians, we're kind of stoic
too, you know, like we don't, wedon't stop and do this.
(34:39):
I had anger and that was it. That was the only emotion you're
allowed to really express. Just let it boil all down into
anger and it's like, there's a lot of other ones you can
experience, turns out. But that healed part, that
healed that, and probably a lot more than just the eczema, Yeah,
I'm guessing. Yeah, I think it made me a lot
better just practically at my job too.
(35:01):
So I don't know if anyone's curious about how do I just stop
putting so much pressure on myself and my career and
advancing. It's like it helped.
Just zoom out and go like, look,there is some universal
organization and a lot of stuff that we don't know that's
happening in subconscious, in these other, in the astral
plane, all these other areas. And it's so unbelievably complex
(35:23):
that we're not going to be able to fathom it.
And so trying to be like, well, I, yeah, I needed to do more.
And it just takes some of the weight off that.
Yeah, just to do what's right infront of you, like right now
here's my task, or here's what Isigned up to do.
Like, and I love that you're a contract worker now and you can
say no to things and like, you know what?
I don't need to be in that toxicwork environment or climb,
(35:45):
climb, climb. I can like, hey, I'm a problem
solver. I have access to a lot of
creative muses and I can help solve this problem.
And you have the skill set. I mean, you also have the
engineering background. It's that integration again with
creativity meets skills, you know?
Yeah, and and the other gift of comedy that I forgot to mention
was just the another pressure release valve from engineering
(36:08):
where I was putting so much intoengineering and product design
to be like, this has to be my creative outlet.
This has to be like my tribe of people.
This has to be like my way to make money.
And now it's just my way to makemoney.
And it's so much more freeing where it's like I'm going to put
all my creative effort into likecomedy and building out my van
and things like that. And then the problems there's.
Communing with nature. Yes.
(36:30):
And then the problems in engineering, just like all of a
sudden just appeared. Put them in, yeah.
Or the solutions appear to theseproblems that used to I just
sweat over and it was like, oh, right now if I take a break and
go do all these creative things and I come back to engineering,
it's just like, oh, my brain subconscious figured it out.
Cool. That's and, and those are those
gifts of like the subconscious. And there are studies that show
(36:51):
when people take a comedy break in the middle of trying to solve
a problem, they actually solve the problem faster.
It's counterintuitive. And, and we know this, I, I
don't know it's attributed to Thomas Edison, but I've heard it
attributed to other inventors. You probably know the right one
where they're laying on a, on a couch trying to solve a problem,
that they're holding a plate anda spoon or something.
(37:11):
And then they fall asleep and they drop and that that
subconscious twilight sleep state is where they solve the
problem yes So being it's like, ohh, I got it totally got it
right. Like when the.
Bridge between the conscious andsubconscious.
Like gets closer and closer and closer.
And then the whole analogy of like the near death experience,
like we were talking about earlier, like getting my nose.
(37:31):
Yeah, where's my voice? Memo that's where the magic is.
It's in that darkness, like in that void totally.
And it's like, but it's you got to get real quiet.
You got to get meditative to like be able to get to that.
Bridge or super silly. I mean, I'm going to tell you, I
don't know that it has to be quiet, but I, I hear that quiet
is good, but I also in my world,it's like also like just letting
(37:51):
that letting, letting the ripples ripple, you know?
True, yeah. Getting the sillies, yeah.
The sillies and then it just, I think, yeah, quiet, whatever,
whatever you can do to shut down.
Quiet. What you mean is like quiet the
fear. Quiet the fear, quiet the
analytical mind, Quiet the. Quiet the voice editor.
Shame and doubt. Yes, Yes, the inner critic.
Quiet the inner critic. Yes.
OK. And either make it louder, make
(38:13):
the other stuff louder, like thelaughter and everything, the
silliness louder, or just quiet the whole system.
Yeah, yeah. Or or like take it, go through
the other side and like, OK, getlouder.
Come on, inner critic bring like, sometimes I'll be like,
tell me more, tell me more. Like, so I'm not going to shut
it down. Like tell me more.
Tell me more about what a shittyperson I am.
Oh, tell me what a bad person I am.
Like, I mean, like to the point where it's so ridiculous.
(38:34):
Like really like, I it was me that I actually am in charge of
the whole world. Yeah, I don't think.
I just started doing this and I'm so late, brother, because
it's been working so well for meof like when I have a inner
thought that just keeps ruminating.
That's like editor, whatever, doubt, fear.
And I physically acted out of just being like, well, I'm not a
good enough engineer and like whatever, give the thing the
(38:57):
voice and then just do it for like 30 seconds.
Be like, no one's ever going to hire me again.
My work's dried up and I'm nevergoing to have and I just give it
and then it's like, it gives it a voice and I'll be like, is
that what we really think? And it's like, I guess not.
That's. Not yeah, all right, You're
right. Or like the other and then the
other, the other role-playing, because I'm all about these
(39:18):
inner family systems. I think we talked about that
too. So many things we're clicking
on. And I was like, Oh, yeah, the
other thing is just to be grateful, Like, hey, thanks for
trying to save me. You know, like, I know, like, my
inner critic I know is partly mymom, of course, but it's now
mine. I own it.
She has passed on thanks to me. Don't want to brag, but I did
help her move forward. Not in the best way.
(39:40):
I mean, it was the best I could do.
She always says, I hear her say you did your best.
Forget the rest. Like, I actually did help
medicate my mother and like, come on, like with Hospice help.
But it was like, it could have been faster, but I guess it was
her path. Like, we got to trust her
suffering. God, I don't like suffering
anyway. OK.
(40:00):
This is the medicine that's kicked.
In that the IFS, like they intercreted making friends with
that, yeah. You just did it real.
Time there where you're just like the inner critic came up of
like, I didn't do a good enough job like helping my mother pass
and be like, no, we did and likeand.
Actually, we got that messages did your best, forget the rest.
Yeah. And like, you have to talk it
real time every time because it wants to grab the driver's seat
and it goes, no, like this isn'tyour job right now.
(40:22):
We don't need to do in the driver's seat.
Like, thanks so much for what you do.
Like, this is really nice when we need to edit videos and be
critical, like you're really good at this.
But right now we're trying to this is going.
To be my favorite dramedy episode.
I don't know if anyone else willget it.
That's OK. You know, like maybe eat a
handful of mushrooms and TuneIn and see if it vibes with you.
(40:42):
But this is I mean, thank you somuch for helping me like I feel
seen and known and understood onso many levels with you like I'm
like, it's so I'm so grateful tohave a friend in the world like
you because you don't understand.
I know I'm 65, you're only 36. But like, we need friends.
We need people that are like, OK.
Yeah, I'm so glad I met you herebeing new and like, you know,
(41:02):
didn't don't know a lot of people here yet.
And this is like, oh, all right.Who knows, we may have had some
past life experience. I, I, I, I don't know, I, I hope
I wasn't the asshole in Egypt, but I could have been.
Now it. Sounds dude, it sounds like me.
I I am so critical. I am I'm like you can do better,
you can do better and it's like,oh shit, you know when I did a
(41:23):
past life regression on psilocybin, not past life.
Sorry take that back. I did a psychedelic therapy
journey on medicine and I becamemy mother and, and me at the
same time. Like I was her.
I was me. I was everywhere at once.
And it was like, oh shit, she is, you know, she did her very
best under her life. You know, somebody was critical
(41:44):
to her And, and now I'm criticalto my son.
And I'm like every day I have tosay, I'm so sorry.
You don't deserve that. And it's OK to like say, hey, we
can do, you know, like I was just saying, thank you for
emptying my compost. This is a real time thing.
Today I went out of town, so I had a putrid compost thing in my
(42:04):
kitchen. I'm saying, would you mind
emptying that and spraying it out?
So when I come home, I don't come home to the smell.
And he did it, but then he forgot to turn off the spigot
and he left the nozzle connect. But he doesn't know it doesn't
it drips. So I just told him like within
the last hour, I said, hey, thank you for taking my comments
out. But hey, just so you know,
(42:25):
water, you know, continued to drip and it's sad we wasted a
lot of water. But you know, I was trying not
to do it with the energy I used to do it with.
I was just like, hey, is there any way you could do better?
Like how could you be more in the present moment with that And
you? Know what I mean?
Instead of like you're a bad because the energy used to be
you're a bad person for doing that.
(42:46):
And I mean, that's I was Yep. And I was offloading what my
mother did and it was like, you know what, we're all doing our
best. And I know this is small like
drops of water, but it's like but.
It's how you do one thing. It's how you do everything.
So it's like trying to, yeah, it's like.
Just like be in the moment. Yeah.
So it's like if I can change it here, then I can change it with
myself, then I can change it with my coworkers, I can change
it with however many people. And it's like that habit over
(43:10):
and over becomes a belief, becomes a you know, and then it
becomes who you are. Eventually and what's going on
in him like, oh, he had a critical mother that he's like
feeling unsafe or whatever. I'm doing something for my mom
that and it smells putrid. It's, it's one of those like,
you don't want to be in the present moment with that smell,
right? So he was probably dissociating
and then he's like, and then also like, you know, I got to do
this or my mom's not going to love me.
(43:31):
Yeah, I know I could totally. I could totally see the other
side of it was like, I just did this putrid chore that's kind of
a task and I don't want to do it.
And now I'm getting harped on because I missed like 1% of the
detail of this putrid and being like, where's the thanks that I
got for doing? The putrid dude.
It doesn't. I know.
And like that's the weirdest part.
Like please don't let that over shadow the gratitude because I
kept saying thank you for doing that.
That's amazing. Yeah.
(43:51):
Leading with the gratitude. Well, but then but then it's
also like Blind side thank you and bam, you know, and it's
like, damn it, Nancy, I don't know the answer.
That's the thing. I really don't know how we
don't. Want to waste water?
Well, we don't, and it scared mebecause it's my only like this
is what I'm leaving to him. This little whatever townhouse
is. All I have to leave to him is
(44:11):
his security. So it is all fear.
You know, it's probably fear andsecurity.
You're like, OK, this is a falsesense of security, but if the
pipes freeze, it really things up this time of year, you know,
if you leave water. Yeah, but I think I think it
goes right back to ifs of like who's in the driver's seat when
they're delivering that message?Is it the inner critic that goes
like fear based like the water'sgoing to drip, the thing pipes
(44:33):
are going to freeze and then we're all going to die.
We're going to have mechanic that's going to cost like 10
grand or like that fear might like that's the inner critic,
what he wants to do when he's driving.
Or at least I'm talking to my guy.
No, he. Wants it and he's driving the
ship. Like, if you can, yeah.
It's like if you can say, oh, thank you for what you do.
Like I appreciate like, that is a good thing to remember.
Nice job and her critic. But for now, when we have this
(44:54):
conversation with this person welove, we're going to have you
like go into the background a little bit, if that's fine.
You can play with your Rubik's Cube if you want.
Like that's what my therapist told me.
Like we have this little space where he does like engineering
puzzles and like is OK, you can kind of like go back here and do
this. But we're going to be in like
the more self energy and we're going to be in the self.
And when we deliver this messagebecause we want to do it with
(45:16):
tact and we want to do it with care.
And we actually want. The solution and appreciation,
yeah. Because we want to convey all
those things and we also want. To and energetically.
Yes. And I think it's like the words
almost don't matter at that point.
If you're in self energy, the words really don't.
That's right. Yeah, that's right.
And it's all about that energy of like, I love you, you love
me, you helped me and. Yes.
(45:37):
And. Yes, and.
And we're human and we're going to do these little things where
we, and I do it too. I almost always, and nowadays I
end a criticism with, oh man, I do the same thing or I need a
list. I've got to have a list or we're
not going to get anything done. And it's not like it's, it's not
like he's not like not doing it because he's mad or he's trying
to, you know, say hey, you. He's just like, I forgot, you
(46:00):
know, I got distracted. He's down there, he's playing
guitar, having a good time. I get distracted, I forget like
it's you're just you, me on a different day.
This is the We're all the same thing.
Yes, that is it, Yeah. And when we don't even empathize
with ourselves, how do we expectother people to empathize with
other people? Exactly because it's what it's
how you're treating yourself is how you're going to reflect back
(46:21):
in that situation. If you if you're earner critic
and running amok, you're absolutely going to be inner
critic faced when you're dealingwith that situation.
And if you don't have self compassion, however, you're
going to have compassion for anyother living being or tree,
Yeah, or I mean, a tree is a being.
It all starts with ourselves. Like, yeah, we're so lacking
and. But maybe this is the whole
lesson of all the, you know, layers that we've been through
(46:43):
in Egypt and wherever we were islike, oh, the whole time we were
just supposed to learn self love.
We're just supposed to learn that was.
One of the most profound I was in the boundary riders up in
Canada, like the maybe second. The biggest boundary waters.
Yeah, it was like with my best friends and and I had, you know,
psychedelic, like psilocybin. And I remember like really going
(47:06):
inward and kind of one on my playlist and like an eye mask.
And I was like, I wanna like deal with some stuff.
Let's go like inward. And, you know, I ended up like
talking to this like deity and I'm like, what do I call you?
And he's like, Mr. Mushroom is fine.
And I'm like, OK, yeah, that's. Mr. Mushroom, of course it's a
patriarchal no, no, no, no, but that's for you.
It was. Because.
He came to me in a comedy way because.
It knew Mr. Mushroom is definitely not taking himself
(47:28):
too seriously. Yeah.
Mushroom is fine. And I'm like, sure, I love.
Mr. Mushroom, I love Mr. Mushroom.
And and but Alice. Also, it looks like, I mean,
come on, it's if you don't say Mr. Mushroom.
I mean, I don't want to gender apenis but.
Yeah, it's phallic. It's very phallic, so it makes
sense. Anyways, you.
(47:48):
Would have the L Maybe it's L Something in Spanish.
Yeah, but. Anyway, so you were OK, so you
were there. Yes, Boundary Waters BWCA.
Yeah, yeah, the Boundary Waters.Oh.
Man, expansive. And so we were in my favorite
campsite there, and it was just like, yeah, sitting in the tent
and went inward. And I was like getting all the.
And I was like asking it everything of like, OK, you
(48:09):
know, what should I do with all the.
And it was. And I was like, well, what is
the point of all this? Like, why are we even here?
And it's like, it's just a school so you can learn how to
love each other properly. I'm like, is that it?
I'm like, yeah, would you want abigger answer?
And then I was like, well, what?It's enlightened.
Mandy is like, it's this sweater.
It's this. It's there and I love it.
I love it. He's just real super casual
(48:30):
about it. What is a nightmare?
It's this. It's just right here.
And he's like, do you want, did you want it to be harder?
That can make it harder. I'm like, And then it was like
these scary images passed. I'm like, no, no, no, no.
This was nice. I like this.
You know what? Simple.
Simple is good, simple goodness.Thank you, Mr. Mushroom.
(48:51):
Thank you. You know, maybe we should have
closure and go out and out and Ican't make words, so maybe it's
time to not make words. Go out and commune with this
beautiful Mother Earth. Wow, we covered some beautiful
ground today. Really did this is so fun.
I I'm not I don't know how to button this up in any other way
(49:11):
except just say thank you. Thank you.
Thank you for the fast friendship.
Yeah, I knew. I mean, it's just like Bing,
Bing, Bing. I was like, OK, there's a reason
I'm talking to. I mean, past lives, Dolores
Cannon, psilocybin, nature, all of it.
I have. I mean, all of it.
(49:33):
Thank you. Thank you for being on this
beautiful learning. What is it?
We're learning how to love each other.
How? To love each other properly
properly is also a little bit ofa hand slap.
I thought you. Were Mr. Mushroom and you Be
more specific, Mr. Mushroom. Yeah.
Was I loving and correct? And then the whole spiral.
(49:53):
Begins that was it. Proper love?
You call that proper love? Yeah.
I don't know. It feels like a Monty Python
schedule. There.
That was it. She didn't love me properly.
It wasn't proper. You know what I mean?
So hard to say prop like proper should be spoken in an English.
(50:14):
Accent proper. It's not stop it Proper.
It's not proper. OK, well, we're gonna stop.
We're gonna, we're gonna turn all this off and we're gonna go
properly love each other in nature.
Yeah. I mean transcend all whatever
this is. All this tackles, yeah, it's
(50:34):
great, It's good tools. But we got we got transcend
nature, time. But we got transcended.
Yeah. OK, I'm stopping this.
OK, if I can. It's my crazy eyes.
Amazing. Oh my God, that was one of my
favorite traumedy episodes. I want to thank my guest Matt
McClain. You can find him on Instagram
(50:54):
and every all the things at GoodOne Maddie, Good one
GOODONEMATTY and wow, we had a magical walk around Boulder.
We went to Wonderland Lake. We saw a beautiful hawk eat a
beautiful rabbit. And I really feel like, oh,
(51:16):
there is something up for me in this healing process about
animals. And I know it's part of nature.
I just, I just, I'm OK with eating beans.
OK. I just thought I'm not a very
good hunter is what it is. Anyway, I hope everybody's out
there loving themselves, love yourself and love others
properly. And I want to thank my son,
(51:36):
Nathaniel Norton. He's playing guitar in the
basement right below me right now.
If you hear any music in the background, I'm also going to be
playing the Trauma D music loop that he created.
So thank you, Nathaniel Norton and for being my son and helping
me grow as a person and learninghow not to pass on generational
trauma and if I do, how to make amends.
(51:59):
You know, when we know better, we do better.
Do the trauma work that you needto do if you're having trauma
reactivity like I do sometimes. We are all doing our best.
Thank you for being a listener. Let me know if you have any
questions, comments or concerns.And if you want to be a guest on
Tromedy, reach out to me at nancynorton.tv.
And remember, no matter what, keep laughing.
(52:22):
Subscribe and share Tromedy.
You're listening to the Dramedy Podcast with Nancy Norton this
week on Dramedy. And then so then I wasn't
getting stuff delivered in and this job.
And then I was that manifested and I was having panic attacks
in the bathroom like during the Christmas rush where there's
like Frosty the snowman playing over the law because I'm just
(00:24):
like crumbling in the bathroom was just like, I'm a holy Jolie
Christmas and I'm like, I don't know what to.
Do oh, this has got to be in your next short film or
whatever. Something you know.
Somebody having a panic attack to Holly Jolly Christmas.
No, it's so perfect, though. It's so perfect.
(00:44):
It's so the juxtaposition of ourlife, the insanity that we live
in. Yeah, I love that you did the
animatronics, too. Have a holly jolly Christmas.
I am not having a holly jolly. Christmas, you shut up.
I'm dying here. I'm dying to die to Holly Jolly
Christmas, Yeah. That's just fade to black jolly
(01:07):
Christmas and it's done. Trauma plus comedy equals Trauma
D Trauma D is not a replacement for trauma therapy, but it may
help you get by between sessions.
You're listening to Trauma D, the podcast that helps you take
your pain and play with it. I'm Nancy Norton.
I am a former nurse, comedian, and keynote speaker about the
(01:30):
power of humor, why we need it, how it helps us.
Bring the power of humor to yournext event with award-winning
comedian Nancy Norton. Nancy got out of healthcare for
the same reason. A lot of people get into it, to
save lives. Message Nancy at nancynorton.tv.
The Traumedy podcast is sponsored by Crybaby Badass.
(01:53):
You have to feel it to heal it. You are a Crybaby Badass
luminary. See your light in the mirror.
Do you have a trauma? Hey, you listening?
Do you have a traumedy story to share?
If so, send Nancy a message at nancynorton.tv.
Trauma can be isolating and overwhelming.
(02:15):
Share Traumedy with a friend today.
Welcome to Traumedy. My guest this week is Matt
McClain, a comedian and engineerliving the van life right now.
Welcome, Matt. Yeah.
Thank you. Thanks for having me.
(02:36):
Thanks for coming and helping meset up my camera and everything.
Wave at the camera. We got.
It working I don't usually do video 'cause like I said it, I
feel like I want folks to reallydrop into their body or drop
into their you know feelings andstuff and sometimes we can get a
little performative so let's forget about that that doesn't
(02:56):
even that's not even happening it's.
Like the curse of the clip everytime you record a set and it's
like, now I'm out of it and now I don't feel as good.
I. Know when you're not in your
body? Yeah, well, I really appreciated
meeting you the other day. We just met at the Denver Comedy
Underground. You did a set and we were
working. Who are we opening for?
Adam Gilbert, my buddy from Chicago, now lives in New York,
(03:18):
and yeah, he was in town for theweekend and worked out to hang
out with him for a while and drop in for a set.
It was cool. Yeah, I saw one of his reels and
man, I was like this guy, this guy's doing.
Traumedy for sure, and so funny.Yeah, so just like so specific
with his writing and just gets so weird so quick.
Yeah, yeah, this is cool to see.And it was also cool that you
(03:41):
guys knew each other and, like, you're new to Denver, so welcome
to Denver or Colorado. And although you're a man of the
world, you've got a van. You can go wherever you want.
Yeah. I know I keep gravitating
towards Denver. I was out for a little bit for
like 2 months and then I'm back here and I was like hanging out
and working on the van a little bit.
And yeah, I'll probably, I'll probably be in Denver long term,
but I gotta try, you know, I gotta try things out.
(04:01):
I can't make a decision too quick.
So I wanna just, you know, yeah,put up the feelers.
Cuz you were in Chicago and thenyou were in North Carolina.
Yeah. I mean, there's so many great
comedy communities, but I haven't seen one better than
Denver, I gotta be honest. It's really good.
I was really impressed being like you guys have a lot of
clubs and like everything withina short drive like Boulder, Fort
Collins and just every comic I've met here has been like the
(04:24):
most welcoming. Nice.
Person, it's weird we, we reallyhave like this, this community
feeling and we give each other tags.
Thank God 'cause I'm my writing is like, I'm such a lazy writer
these days. I'm just writing on stage like,
oh, maybe I'll remember to say this again kind of thing.
I used to be more disciplined. I I kind of miss the craft, like
(04:44):
I don't feel like I'm really doing the craft is tight, but
then comics will go here. I got A tag for you and I'm like
gift. Yeah, I don't understand how
people don't want that. I've been like, this makes the
joke snap that much better. At the very end of being like,
yeah, I'll take it being like, but people are like, no, I have
to write it. It's like, who cares?
Like it works and it like ties in.
I don't know. I think, and I think it depends
on where you are in your career as well as maybe you're still
(05:05):
trying to prove yourself. But it, but there are certain
communities where if you go to Lai, I gave somebody A tag there
and they looked at me like I hadspit on them.
And I was like, I I'm so sorry. I thought it was a funny idea.
But anyway, hey, let's talk about you.
Yeah, let's talk about you and your.
So you are an engineer. You are a mechanical engineer.
(05:25):
Is that what you said? Yeah, mechanical engineer by
trade. Quit my corporate job in 2017
and started my own like contracting freelancing company.
So I'm kind of a gun for hire and and just do product design
on various kitchen appliances and mayonnaise pumps and all
sorts of fun stuff. But you know, you make a
(05:46):
difference in people's lives. I mean, big differences.
We were just, you know, I was just opening a travel mug in the
kitchen. You're like, hey, do you like
that travel mug? And you're like, I work for that
company and I'm like, I love that.
I mean I seriously makes a difference in my life that I can
go take my tea, put it inside mybackpack, not worry about my my
laptop. Yeah, the Contigo Snap Seal 2.0.
(06:09):
That's a great problem. Damn it.
We should we should get a sponsor.
Why did I? I didn't bring it in here.
But anyway, yeah, you guys have to picture it.
Yeah. They sell my Costco for two in 2
packs. That was that was like the first
item we got in at Costco and I was working with Contigo for a
while and that was like a big deal.
We're like, oh, we got the snap seal in, Costco's in.
And you were saying like how long people worked on that
particular snap seal? The amount of engineering, like
(06:33):
meetings that go into everyday products, like I think it's
something people don't realize of just like every small radius,
like the angle of let's see, like how many pounds of force
required to open the thing, likehow easy it is and yeah.
Dude, it's perfect. I got to tell you, whatever they
did, they did it perfectly. Anything that you've been a part
of that way, I appreciate. We take it for granted all the
(06:54):
time. The layers of work and years
that went into, I mean, everything I'm using right here,
I don't know. Yeah, I'm thousands of hours of
meetings of just being like, yeah, how what's the diameter of
this pop screen that we it's like all that stuff just is so
long. Yeah.
And and whatever the screen likethe layer like.
I guess I never noticed there are two layers here.
Yeah. But we use two layers.
(07:16):
Do we use one layer? Like do we source it from
Thailand? Do we source it from Shenzhen
like all those things? Yeah, I mean, and then I'm like
like there's a part of me that that please, I don't need.
I don't want to know if it's notvegan, you know, because there's
a lot of the thing like I didn'trealize you can't buy.
I looked up vegan car. I I'm not even kidding you.
I like, I want to buy a vegan car, which is a hilarious
(07:37):
concept to begin with that you're spewing.
You know, even if it's an electric.
I mean, the things that go into making the battery.
Oh yeah. But this isn't vegan, this is.
This is a blood pop screen I canfeel.
You don't even understand how sensitive I am.
No, but it's like, yeah, this anyway.
The stuff that goes into the tires.
I didn't know animal products were in Oh I.
(07:58):
Didn't know that either. It's upsetting to me and it's
like this, I tell you what, you're living van life, which is
getting close to what I want to do.
I have a Honda Element E camper.I don't know if you saw it in
the parking garage, but I mean the carport, I don't have a
garage, but it's, you know, it'sgot a little pop top.
It's kind of a Westphalia knock off.
Oh yeah, yeah, OK, I didn't see that, but that's cool.
(08:18):
I'll show it to you, but it's cool.
I mean, my fantasy was to spend more time in it and I did take
my son on a 30 day camping trip,which was my favorite parenting
thing. But the fact that you're out
there doing it, you know, a lot of us are fantasizing about it,
how to live, you know, kind of, you know, close to nature.
And, you know, I'm guessing you like nature.
(08:42):
Where's in your mouth? That's most of the goals is just
like I had, I had an inkling up being like, I think I need more
nature in my life than I do likeliving in Chicago.
And then I like got out of Chicago and I was like, oh, I
need like 99% more nature than Iwas getting and need to get out
there. And she feels so good.
Like my shoulders lower like 4 inches.
It's just like my brain just feels like it gets like wiped
(09:02):
clean every day, like being out in the trees and breathing fresh
air. And it's been like, this is how
we're supposed to live. This is it.
I know, and I was saying I just keep getting stuck in my phone.
I'm getting into that toxic energy of the of the fight out
there right now and I am going to go to the whatever this will
be after the no kings day when Iupload this, but I'm going to go
tomorrow. But I, I don't know, I'm a
(09:24):
little nervous about being in that many people, but I got to
say it's a balance, right? Of like, what is mine to do?
And and then how do I recharge, you know?
Yeah, what's what's the No KingsDay?
Ohh, it's, it's this huge like demonstration, worldwide
demonstration against dictatorship and fascism going
on that. Sounds like something I should
have known. We can edit this out.
(09:49):
I haven't been, that's, yeah, kind of been out.
I haven't been paying attention too much, but it's great to
know. Honestly, I'm jealous.
Like good for you, good for you.Like hey, you're, you know what?
This, this is real too. I'm we're looking, I'm looking
out the window at these beautiful Aspen leaves and this
is real. This is happening.
This is important. I mean, Mother Nature I this is
(10:09):
what's really the reality. I mean, not all this electronic
and fighting and politics is, yeah, I don't even know.
It's like a social construct that's gone crazy.
It is. It is.
That's one of the most beautifulthing that when I was in, like,
the redwoods this summer. And just like there's redwoods
that are, you know, 700 years old and you're just like, they
(10:30):
are completely unperturbed by any BS that we're concerned with
and like, they're going to just be doing their thing for another
100. And it's like, yeah, this is the
Mother Nature doesn't care aboutall this stuff.
They just, the trees just keep treeing.
Yeah. The trees keep treeing.
That could be your bumper sticker.
(10:51):
That's your album when you thinkabout your comedy.
I'm just curious, you know, thanks for coming on Traumedy.
And I don't know if there's anything that you relate to as
far as releasing any traumas or like what's, you know, I know as
a, as an engineer, one thing I love about engineers is they're
left and right brained. That's what I've heard.
(11:12):
You know, they're very creative,but they also have that
analytical part. So it's a lot of integration
that you do. And I think comedy can kind of
do that, that little weaving of trauma and lightness.
But I don't know if is there anything in your act that you
would that sparks a thing of release for you?
Or is there a reason that you started doing comedy?
(11:34):
Yeah, I mean, I started doing comedy after I got fired from a
engineering job. And so it was like a very high
stress thing. And I had that, you know, kind
of ego death type moment where this identity gets ripped away
or is being like, oh, maybe I'm can't hack it as an engineer.
Maybe I'm never going to make itas an engineer.
And then I was like, well, if this dream job I thought I had
(11:54):
went away, and then also this relationship with this girl I
thought was like this dream girlthat went away at the same time.
And it's like both these things gets rid both these identities
of like perfect boyfriend, perfect employee, whatever gets
crumbled down. And I was like, well, if that
didn't make me happy, all these things that supposedly were it,
then what should I do that makesme happy?
(12:14):
And then I was reading a self help book at the time was like
if you want to chase happiness, like do what you were
compulsively doing before the age of 10 when no one was
telling you what to do. I love this.
And I was like, well, I was justmaking funny videos with my
friends, like drawing cartoons and trying to make my friends
laugh. And at the time was like to and
from work. I was just like compulsively
consuming so much comedy and podcasts.
(12:36):
And I was like, all right, there's something here like you
got to just try it. And then the first time I got on
stage was like, my brain just lit up like a Christmas tree.
You knew it. Yeah, that's cool.
So you were using comedy as a resource to and from work to
kind of help get rid of that stress.
Because I think you mentioned tome that, and I don't know if
it's the same job, but the one that really it was so much about
(13:02):
get, you know, the sales part ofit and getting into new like
you're saying like how you guys celebrated with Contigo about
getting into Costco. It was a different one, but it
was like, yeah, you got to have yeah, gotta keep push, push,
push, push, push. There's no like, yay, let's
celebrate what we just did. There's more like, what's next?
Ohh yeah, marketing and. Totally like every six months
was like, if you don't get one into Toys-R-Us, you're you might
(13:22):
be on the hot seat like you gotta, you gotta deliver.
And it was just this high pressure like I got.
I hope Target likes my prototypeand if they don't then.
Then I have no self worth, you know, like that's where, that's
where it gets tricky, right? Where it's like, I'm not, I'm
not. Yeah, I know I'm not worthy of
whatever the target approval. Yeah.
And and then a couple of that with like I didn't know how to
(13:43):
fix my relationship at the time.So that was like crumbling.
I didn't know what to do and we had kind of this anxious, I was
avoiding attached. And now that I now I know that
and then I have an inkling, I won't speak for her, but I think
she was a little bit anxious attached.
So we had this anxious avoidant like clawing and then wanting
distance and clawing and wantingdistance and that was going on.
And then so then I wasn't getting stuff delivered in and
(14:04):
this job. And then I was that manifested
and I was having panic attacks in the bathroom like during the
Christmas rush where there's like Frosty the snowman playing
over the last week. And I'm just like crumbling in
the bathroom was just like, I'm a holy jolly Christmas.
And I'm like, Oh my God, I don'tknow what to do.
Oh, this has got to be in your next short film or whatever.
(14:25):
Something. Else but having a panic attack
to Holly Jolly Christmas. No, it's so perfect though.
It's so perfect. It's so the juxtaposition of our
life, the insanity that we live in.
Yeah. I love that you did.
The animatronics have a holly jolly Christmas.
(14:46):
I am not having a. Holly Jolly Christmas.
You shut up. I'm dying here.
I'm dying to die to Holly Jolly Christmas.
Yeah. That's just fade to black jolly
Christmas and it's done. You know, I have a playlist, but
there's filing cabinet right here.
I got a playlist for my deathbedand I might put that on it.
(15:07):
That's such a good idea. Add that to my deathbed
playlist. Yeah, that's probably a perfect,
like psychedelic trip playlist too, you know, you're having a
little bit of ego death. Play the Deathbed playlist, you
know. Dude, I'm loving it so much.
That's perfect. Traumedy, man, I'm telling you.
Yeah, mine is. Mine is bluegrass.
(15:28):
Oh, brother, Where art Thou soundtrack a lot of the songs.
Wow, that soundtrack. Yeah.
I'll fly away. You know, it's like Jill.
Is it Jillian? Do you pronounce it Jillian
Welch? I don't know, I.
Don't know, but I got to wipe mynose.
I don't there's no way to do this.
This is another reason I don't like doing video.
And yes, I make my own hankies. Oh, I am a good global citizen.
(15:50):
Hold on, hold on. Oh, this is a Halloween show
now? What is that joke?
What are hankies? There's boogers in it.
Yeah. How do you make a hanky dance?
Put a little boogie in it, Yeah?Yeah, wow.
I got to tell you, you're hanky.Your hanky took the took the
prize as far as that. Was not a homemade 1 though, I
(16:12):
have to admit. But it's but it's reused and
barely washed I'm going to guess.
I am living in a band. It's barely.
Washed. You don't.
Wastewater. Definitely not.
That was that was bathed in a stream against a rock.
A little splash, a little. Remember the rock deodorant that
was out for a while? Yeah, that's right.
I wonder. What happened to that?
(16:32):
Is that still out there? Anybody in?
Mineral, there's so many like organic deodorants now.
I think they just got squeezed out native and else just push
them. Out and then it's like, yeah,
that none of them worked. I can I can test, I can testify.
And now that I'm taking testosterone, which is a fun
androgen experience, I have likeI feel it.
(16:54):
I'm trying to open a jar again and that's back to the contigo.
How much pressure, Like I'm so grateful when I can get
something like that open becausethere are some of them where my
postmenopausal female cannot open.
Is that that's a great, that's agreat bit.
I don't know if you have it's like why are you taking
testosterone? I want to open jars again.
Yeah, I'm tired of being dependent.
(17:14):
I literally will call my son. I have a, you know what?
I might even splice in here. I have a photo of me in my
kitchen. I'll show it to you.
It's like I have a jar opener, but it was a big jar of olives
that was this big. They were this big around.
So one hand is not going to do it.
So I was, I called my son. He wasn't available, so I had to
put it between my feet and I hadto put it between my feet.
(17:35):
I was like, I was determined because I mean, if I make
smashed potatoes and I don't have olives, go with it.
I can't explain why. I like the juxtaposition of
like. Never tried that.
Green olives on the side of mashed potatoes.
It's weird. It's my thing.
OK, but you know what A. Regional thing.
It's. It's.
Right in this region. It is a Nancy thing.
It was like that was Christmas or something like oh, I like the
(17:57):
cool olive like the salty with awarm.
There's nothing we don't need totalk about it.
All I'm saying is opening thingsare important.
Androgen smells. All I'm going to say I have
different now. It's gross.
I I am really clear that I do. I will not take another lover in
(18:18):
this lifetime. I'm pretty sure because I am
disgusted by myself. The smells.
I have a 14 year old boy and an old woman.
Just no. Just the melting pot.
No, just no. Nobody needs that Patchouli.
I will be in my own van for sure.
Nobody. Nobody's getting in my damn van.
No Axe. Oh yeah.
If I try to cover it up, sometimes my son, he'll give me
(18:41):
a ride to say the airport. And I'm just like, you know,
it's OK to like use water and shower that off.
You don't have to cover it, you know, right?
Other smells. Why do we all, as teenage boys,
we all recover it. We never.
It's like we all have to learn that that's not.
The way, yeah, somebody has to teach you that's not because
obviously doesn't care what I think.
(19:01):
It's very medieval. Remember medieval sachets?
They used to keep whatever I think.
You get made fun of once in the locker room and then you're
like, OK, I'm off Axe forever. It's just got to be 1.
No, that is like axe is sort of.I don't know.
People love to hate on the axe. I don't know enough about it,
but it is not my flavour. Yeah, yeah.
But OK, I feel like I probably didn't answer your question, but
(19:21):
like so you're you're saying like tram, do you like infuse
tram with your like how do you get?
Yeah, thank you for circling back with the ADHD.
OK, yes, tell me your bit. So you, well, you found comedy,
first of all, you had an expression because you had lost
your job, you lost your girlfriend, life was losing some
(19:41):
meaning and and you got this insight.
Go back from the book. What did I love doing before I
was 10? Making movies.
Making films, making people laugh.
Yeah, totally. And yeah, I was going to toss it
to you too. But then I feel like it was such
a superpower of like all these traumatic things and, you know,
life doesn't stop throwing you traumatic things.
And then every single one of those, like there's a little
(20:02):
part of your brain while the trauma is happening and it's
going like, well, this is going to be material.
That's. The good news with comedy, Yeah.
I mean, even right in the middleof the car accident, you're
like, oh, you're rolling. Like this is going to be a great
bit someday, you know? Yeah, totally.
Bleeding AM DS just trying to revive you and be like give me
my notebook, give me my notebook.
(20:23):
Stat, stat, notebook stat. Like seriously, clear, clear.
Get out of my way. I mean, really, I you're not
wrong. I think right now my bits mostly
are cause of this age where I feel like, yeah, my bones are
thinning. I've got more spiritual access,
you know, I am writing preemptive deaths, death bits.
Oh. Nice.
(20:43):
Yeah. So I'm talking about.
Yeah, I've been thinking about death a ton of like, what is
what? So is bones thinning?
Does that mean like your pineal gland is more accessible?
To I made that up, but it soundsgood, doesn't it does I mean, I
do have osteoporosis. So I figure like, oh, porous,
that means I'm getting more access.
Yeah, I, I do feel like in my crown chakra, I know that those
soft spots don't open up again, but maybe they do in a maybe in
(21:04):
a, in a. Because that's apparently like
how some type of chameleon, how they like do their camouflage.
It's not by their eyesight. They don't look at things and
then determine I need to turn into a tree.
Like, cuz when they're like shutdown, their eyes are closed.
They still know the environment and they're one of the only
creatures that has like a pinealgland, like right on the surface
(21:26):
of their skin that can get like affected by heat and like
outside area. So there's they're tap like the
theory is they're tapping into something that's seen for them
and then they can activate the camel toes.
Wow, Like a third eye on the crack.
Yeah. Yeah.
Well, you know, when you drive cars now, like I rent, I have an
(21:46):
old 2008, but I rent cars on theroad and they can see you.
They look down at you in the parking lot.
Have you seen that on the camera?
It shows you the above you. And I'm like, maybe that's like
the whatever amphibious, what animal was it?
Some type of chameleon? I can't.
Yeah. Iguana or something?
Yeah. I got those iguana eyes here.
(22:10):
I'm ready. I'm ready.
Well, the Inuit say the people with misaligned eyes are the
visionaries, so I'm not. I'm not Inuit, but I do have
some visions and I do see into Infinity, so I feel cool.
That's the blessing and curse ofthis Trabismus.
Is is can does that happen like in, in psychedelic space to like
(22:30):
be able to? Oh yeah, yeah.
Yeah, you know Steve Gillespie. Have you met him yet?
I met him in North Carolina, actually, Yeah.
He's coming through for We Love Steve.
He was on season one or two. We got to got to check out Steve
and he has the Doe Show and I got to tell you those are Matt.
You have you've got to do a dosecomedy show.
(22:50):
I've never done one that'll be amazing.
You know, you eat a little bit of plant medicine, which I'm
starting to feel like I may havedone that recently.
I'm starting to have a little impact.
So Steve's shows are are literally magical and healing.
And when I do them, I think my, whatever it is, you know, 5th
(23:13):
generation nurse, I always say. And before that we were called
witches. So I do feel like there's
something in my psyche that sortof senses things, and with the
help of a little medicine. Yeah, just opens it up.
Yeah, and I tend to voice thingsthat maybe need are needed in
that room at the moment. And then I have these wild
connections afterwards where people want to continue the
(23:36):
connection, but it's like, hey, it's not me.
I'm just a conduit. I I brought you the message, but
it's really not me. Yeah, just getting out of the
getting out of its way and beinglike, I'm just delivering it.
I feel like that's when writing is the most magical, when you're
just like, yeah, out of the way and you're like, all right, I
think this is flowing. Like the muse is here.
It's like going through me and I'm just.
(23:57):
Channeling the music. Yeah.
And that's where when I connected with you, I love, I
love your material. My memory is not great, but I
feel like you were doing material about being an engineer
and maybe is it something about being on the spectrum or was.
It all engineers are on the spectrum, yeah.
Neurodivergent humor. Yeah, and I'm trying to like,
and some people I think get a little hair triggered about that
(24:20):
bit too. But it's, you know, if you
listen to the whole bit, it's propping up neurodivergent
people where it's like they're the best engineers, like the
best engineers are neurodivergent.
So like, if we want to solve global warming, we, you know,
maybe need to give them more of a shot and then.
Yeah, more, more of a shot. I got you and more vaccines,
more circumcisions. Now I don't know if you've seen
(24:40):
the news, but and I am anti circumcision.
Ironically, I hate when I agree with somebody on the topic.
I'm actually anti circumcision. I mean, because it's just brutal
and unnecessary and I've obviously uncircumcised, but I
do worry about why we torture young boys and why we are
(25:02):
surprised when the patriarchy turns against us.
Talk about trauma and it's like starting out step along with the
trauma it's. Terrible.
I had to witness them in nursingschool and it's just awful.
And it's nothing I would do to aperson ever or anyone.
I mean, any being. All right, I am bringing us
down, but I wanted to say, So what I love, I love your
(25:25):
material, but I also loved off stage that we were talking, you
know? So fun.
We are very much into some similar things, past life
regression. Oh yeah, we were getting into
that, yeah. And I don't know if you feel
comfortable sharing that, we cantalk about that later, but do
you feel like spirit signs are there's so much on trauma that
tends to have a spiritual component.
(25:47):
So I think people are kind of used to it by now coming from
me, because at this age, my lifeis I feel half in the grave.
So I'm like, hey, I'm I'm way into like what?
What's beyond the physical rightnow anyway?
But with the did what, what happened in your past life that
did you? OK, listen, do do you want to
talk about it? Sure, I can.
(26:08):
Yeah, I can talk because I had acouple of past life regressions
and we didn't talk about the Group One either.
But we talked about like the first one that when I was like
having eczema in my hands for like 7 years, I had really bad
eczema. And I like, you know, couldn't
do a lot of things, couldn't rock climb anymore and done all
these crazy diets and things that were like helping a little
bit, but it was still popping up.
(26:30):
And then did this past life regression in Denver here and
back in the spring and it was like kind of took me back and I
was still like very conscious the whole time.
It's like kind of just active imagination, like they're
guiding you through and be like,what do you see?
And I wasn't into like woo woo stuff a little, but I've been
getting more into it and every time I get like more into it,
(26:52):
I'm like, OK, how do you explainsome of the like some of the
stuffs? Just totally.
And you're a scientist. It's not like you're a woo woo
guy. Like you are grounded in hard
facts. Yeah, and I got more into the
past life regression because it was this book Journey of Souls
by Michael Newton, I think. And he was putting people under
hypnosis for like curing, smoking and stuff like this.
And then he had started just getting curious about like
(27:14):
asking about past lives and everyone kind of had, didn't
matter cultural background, age or anything.
Everyone had a pretty standard thing.
It was like repeatable over all these different sample sizes.
And then he started asking him what's going on between your
lives? And that's where it got wild of
like everyone had a similar answer yet again, where it's
like you're in this school of like 4 to 5 souls.
(27:36):
You go through, look at your life, where did you add karma?
Where did you did not? And you're like, you're working
with a guide and then you like choose to go back into another.
And almost everyone had the sameexperience.
And then what was the most wild was he, he kind of interviewed
this group of gals and they werelike, oh, yeah, we were, we
think we have the sole connection.
(27:56):
And they all got hypnotized separately.
And they're like, yeah, it was like us three.
And then this guy like Brian or whatever, and he wasn't with
them and he gave him his last name.
And so the girls came out and they're like going through it
and they're like, yeah, well, I don't know about this guy Brian
that apparently was in our soul family, but like we were in this
soul family learning in between lives.
So he tracks down this guy the the name and he like says like,
(28:18):
hey, I'll fly out just to do. And this is a very like
analytical guy. He's like, I don't buy into any
of this stuff. Brings him in.
He. Solicited him, by the way.
Yeah, I mean, I don't know this book.
I'm just listening. Yep, this is exactly.
He's listed him. And so he comes out and he's
like, all right, I guess I'll try it, you know?
And so he goes under asking about life between lives, and
he's like, it's me and these three girls, like names the
(28:39):
three girls exactly that. Yeah.
And how like, he has no preparation.
They don't know each other from this life anyways.
I mean, it, it begs the question, how?
I mean, even there's this podcast right now called The
Telepathy Tapes about people on the spectrum.
I mean, how are they doing that?I don't know so I'm way open to
(28:59):
it. I just want to say I.
Just want to put a background oflike this is how I was getting
into it of like there's a lot of, there's a lot of data.
If you just look at what's out there, there's a lot of
experimental stuff that's saying, look, there's something
going on here that. And this has been going on, you
and I both know you did you say you knew Dolores Cannon and
she's from the Ozarks. And it's so weird that there's a
(29:19):
I've only talked to like three or four other people that know
of her and one of them was in Homer, AK.
And now you. And I'm like, OK, I mean, it
just says something So. But these are all people you
could look up on YouTube or you could find that book.
Have. You had an experience that
helped you with your in your. You haven't.
I haven't had eczema since. So yeah, that's the that's the
(29:40):
get cut into the chase. Like I haven't had eczema since
I did this past life regression because we went in and it was
like a lot of stuff that I'm repeating in this life, which
was like putting all this pressure that if I don't fix, I
was like, you know, an architectin this past life in ancient
Egypt. Now, I didn't fix this problem
that was going on, you know, just to to summarize it quickly,
(30:00):
it was like I was carrying thesebuckets of water trying to like
fix this thing and it might. It was tearing into my hands.
And this boss was like freaking out.
And I was like, the weight of the world is on my shoulders.
Like the river's going to dry upand like the village is going to
everyone's going to die and everyone's going to blame me.
And then I like carried that to my grave and that lifetime that
I didn't fix the problem and that, you know, everyone
(30:21):
suffered because of me. And then it was like, you know,
we kind of went in and like gavethat guy some grace around.
Like, look, there were so many other environmental factors to
that river drying up. And like everything like this
wasn't because he didn't work hard enough or weren't smart
enough or didn't deliver on it. And it was a similar feeling of
like when. A scapegoat?
Yeah. Yeah.
(30:42):
And it was a similar feeling of that in, you know, getting fired
from that job too. And that's kind of when the
eczema started of like getting fired from that job was around
that time of like putting that weight of like, well, I didn't
deliver for these people that had faith in me and I didn't,
you know, I wasn't the engineer they thought they that I was or
whatever it was or, and feeling inadequate and then tying in
(31:02):
some of that forgiveness to. Feeling like the world's going.
To yeah, there was just so much heaviness around it that didn't
really forgive myself for and soforgive myself for that past
life, forgive myself for this life of it's fine that that
didn't work out. There's so many factors with,
you know, that relationship and all these things that were going
on my life just being a 24 year old and not knowing how to deal
with like growing up in a very hyper masculine hockey culture
(31:24):
in northern Minnesota, Like I didn't have emotional
intelligence skills. And so I was just, all of it was
manifesting in a panic that's like, of course that blew up.
And it's like I have some freakiness on the.
Floor of the. Bathroom like, of course that
led to panic attacks in the bathroom.
Like what do you expect? And this eczema, man, it's
(31:45):
fascinating to me. Isn't it amazing?
Like do you wonder about your higher self repeating one of the
things? There's another guy, Brian
Weiss, and he'll say it's not really karma.
It's so much like, if you don't learn the lesson, you're going
to get it. You're going to try again in
this lifetime. You're going to try again in
this lifetime to get the lesson,which is you are not responsible
(32:07):
for the weight of the world. And I maybe I need to hear this
today because I do take it on like I'm not doing enough to
speak up for the voiceless animals.
I'm not doing enough. And I, I mean, under the
influence of this medicine that we may or may not have taken.
I, I feel the grief of that. Like I need to grieve that.
Like I cannot save them. And I cannot tell you.
(32:29):
I wish I could. I wish I could save.
I wish I could stop suffering all over the world.
Like I feel like. What is mine to do and how do I
stop suffering? I don't know.
Where? Is that appropriate?
Maybe the suffering is what is, you know, like there's another
bigger, like all of a sudden I just had this.
I went up a little higher to look down and go, well the
suffering is part of the soul agreement and it's just like
(32:53):
God. I want to.
Can I please unsubscribe? Right.
And it's but it's part of their soul agreement too, like.
They. Came in and wanted this
experience and it's, you know, did that we don't have the
control necessarily to alter allthese experiences that that, you
know, they came here to have. Even though it's it looks bleak.
We label it good or bad and and evils being done to these people
(33:15):
and but it's it is all perfect in the universal plan of like
unfolding the way. And I think like being small, at
least for me, I'm like trying toremember like, OK, I am a small
piece of this universal plan andit's like, yeah, you can make
the active loving choice every moment.
There is a God choice in every moment to make and be giving and
(33:37):
and and loving, but that doesn'tmean that like you're failing if
you're not like loving the most amount of people.
It goes back to like the tree. It's like is the one tree that's
like 6 inches higher than the other tree?
Is the shorter one being like, well, I'm not that Redwood so I
haven't I what's? The point?
Yeah. Provided that much shade for
people. Thank you.
(33:58):
I really needed to hear this. I think, you know, like I say
this, this podcast really a selfish.
Well, selfish. I don't know.
I'm yeah. I mean, I'm doing this to help
heal myself. If you're dealing with it.
I mean, the, the, the, you know,the motto is help heal myself
and others. So I know there's somebody else
suffering the same and you've suffered this way.
(34:18):
And thank you for being so vulnerable about it.
You know, like, especially Someone Like You just shared
your back story a little bit that you came from this very
patriarchal, you know, hockey playing.
Like we don't, we don't do this.Like we Minnesotans and I, you
know, or whatever, me Missourians, we're kind of stoic
too, you know, like we don't, wedon't stop and do this.
(34:39):
I had anger and that was it. That was the only emotion you're
allowed to really express. Just let it boil all down into
anger and it's like, there's a lot of other ones you can
experience, turns out. But that healed part, that
healed that, and probably a lot more than just the eczema, Yeah,
I'm guessing. Yeah, I think it made me a lot
better just practically at my job too.
(35:01):
So I don't know if anyone's curious about how do I just stop
putting so much pressure on myself and my career and
advancing. It's like it helped.
Just zoom out and go like, look,there is some universal
organization and a lot of stuff that we don't know that's
happening in subconscious, in these other, in the astral
plane, all these other areas. And it's so unbelievably complex
(35:23):
that we're not going to be able to fathom it.
And so trying to be like, well, I, yeah, I needed to do more.
And it just takes some of the weight off that.
Yeah, just to do what's right infront of you, like right now
here's my task, or here's what Isigned up to do.
Like, and I love that you're a contract worker now and you can
say no to things and like, you know what?
I don't need to be in that toxicwork environment or climb,
(35:45):
climb, climb. I can like, hey, I'm a problem
solver. I have access to a lot of
creative muses and I can help solve this problem.
And you have the skill set. I mean, you also have the
engineering background. It's that integration again with
creativity meets skills, you know?
Yeah, and and the other gift of comedy that I forgot to mention
was just the another pressure release valve from engineering
(36:08):
where I was putting so much intoengineering and product design
to be like, this has to be my creative outlet.
This has to be like my tribe of people.
This has to be like my way to make money.
And now it's just my way to makemoney.
And it's so much more freeing where it's like I'm going to put
all my creative effort into likecomedy and building out my van
and things like that. And then the problems there's.
Communing with nature. Yes.
(36:30):
And then the problems in engineering, just like all of a
sudden just appeared. Put them in, yeah.
Or the solutions appear to theseproblems that used to I just
sweat over and it was like, oh, right now if I take a break and
go do all these creative things and I come back to engineering,
it's just like, oh, my brain subconscious figured it out.
Cool. That's and, and those are those
gifts of like the subconscious. And there are studies that show
(36:51):
when people take a comedy break in the middle of trying to solve
a problem, they actually solve the problem faster.
It's counterintuitive. And, and we know this, I, I
don't know it's attributed to Thomas Edison, but I've heard it
attributed to other inventors. You probably know the right one
where they're laying on a, on a couch trying to solve a problem,
that they're holding a plate anda spoon or something.
(37:11):
And then they fall asleep and they drop and that that
subconscious twilight sleep state is where they solve the
problem yes So being it's like, ohh, I got it totally got it
right. Like when the.
Bridge between the conscious andsubconscious.
Like gets closer and closer and closer.
And then the whole analogy of like the near death experience,
like we were talking about earlier, like getting my nose.
(37:31):
Yeah, where's my voice? Memo that's where the magic is.
It's in that darkness, like in that void totally.
And it's like, but it's you got to get real quiet.
You got to get meditative to like be able to get to that.
Bridge or super silly. I mean, I'm going to tell you, I
don't know that it has to be quiet, but I, I hear that quiet
is good, but I also in my world,it's like also like just letting
(37:51):
that letting, letting the ripples ripple, you know?
True, yeah. Getting the sillies, yeah.
The sillies and then it just, I think, yeah, quiet, whatever,
whatever you can do to shut down.
Quiet. What you mean is like quiet the
fear. Quiet the fear, quiet the
analytical mind, Quiet the. Quiet the voice editor.
Shame and doubt. Yes, Yes, the inner critic.
Quiet the inner critic. Yes.
OK. And either make it louder, make
(38:13):
the other stuff louder, like thelaughter and everything, the
silliness louder, or just quiet the whole system.
Yeah, yeah. Or or like take it, go through
the other side and like, OK, getlouder.
Come on, inner critic bring like, sometimes I'll be like,
tell me more, tell me more. Like, so I'm not going to shut
it down. Like tell me more.
Tell me more about what a shittyperson I am.
Oh, tell me what a bad person I am.
Like, I mean, like to the point where it's so ridiculous.
(38:34):
Like really like, I it was me that I actually am in charge of
the whole world. Yeah, I don't think.
I just started doing this and I'm so late, brother, because
it's been working so well for meof like when I have a inner
thought that just keeps ruminating.
That's like editor, whatever, doubt, fear.
And I physically acted out of just being like, well, I'm not a
good enough engineer and like whatever, give the thing the
(38:57):
voice and then just do it for like 30 seconds.
Be like, no one's ever going to hire me again.
My work's dried up and I'm nevergoing to have and I just give it
and then it's like, it gives it a voice and I'll be like, is
that what we really think? And it's like, I guess not.
That's. Not yeah, all right, You're
right. Or like the other and then the
other, the other role-playing, because I'm all about these
(39:18):
inner family systems. I think we talked about that
too. So many things we're clicking
on. And I was like, Oh, yeah, the
other thing is just to be grateful, Like, hey, thanks for
trying to save me. You know, like, I know, like, my
inner critic I know is partly mymom, of course, but it's now
mine. I own it.
She has passed on thanks to me. Don't want to brag, but I did
help her move forward. Not in the best way.
(39:40):
I mean, it was the best I could do.
She always says, I hear her say you did your best.
Forget the rest. Like, I actually did help
medicate my mother and like, come on, like with Hospice help.
But it was like, it could have been faster, but I guess it was
her path. Like, we got to trust her
suffering. God, I don't like suffering
anyway. OK.
(40:00):
This is the medicine that's kicked.
In that the IFS, like they intercreted making friends with
that, yeah. You just did it real.
Time there where you're just like the inner critic came up of
like, I didn't do a good enough job like helping my mother pass
and be like, no, we did and likeand.
Actually, we got that messages did your best, forget the rest.
Yeah. And like, you have to talk it
real time every time because it wants to grab the driver's seat
and it goes, no, like this isn'tyour job right now.
(40:22):
We don't need to do in the driver's seat.
Like, thanks so much for what you do.
Like, this is really nice when we need to edit videos and be
critical, like you're really good at this.
But right now we're trying to this is going.
To be my favorite dramedy episode.
I don't know if anyone else willget it.
That's OK. You know, like maybe eat a
handful of mushrooms and TuneIn and see if it vibes with you.
(40:42):
But this is I mean, thank you somuch for helping me like I feel
seen and known and understood onso many levels with you like I'm
like, it's so I'm so grateful tohave a friend in the world like
you because you don't understand.
I know I'm 65, you're only 36. But like, we need friends.
We need people that are like, OK.
Yeah, I'm so glad I met you herebeing new and like, you know,
(41:02):
didn't don't know a lot of people here yet.
And this is like, oh, all right.Who knows, we may have had some
past life experience. I, I, I, I don't know, I, I hope
I wasn't the asshole in Egypt, but I could have been.
Now it. Sounds dude, it sounds like me.
I I am so critical. I am I'm like you can do better,
you can do better and it's like,oh shit, you know when I did a
(41:23):
past life regression on psilocybin, not past life.
Sorry take that back. I did a psychedelic therapy
journey on medicine and I becamemy mother and, and me at the
same time. Like I was her.
I was me. I was everywhere at once.
And it was like, oh shit, she is, you know, she did her very
best under her life. You know, somebody was critical
(41:44):
to her And, and now I'm criticalto my son.
And I'm like every day I have tosay, I'm so sorry.
You don't deserve that. And it's OK to like say, hey, we
can do, you know, like I was just saying, thank you for
emptying my compost. This is a real time thing.
Today I went out of town, so I had a putrid compost thing in my
(42:04):
kitchen. I'm saying, would you mind
emptying that and spraying it out?
So when I come home, I don't come home to the smell.
And he did it, but then he forgot to turn off the spigot
and he left the nozzle connect. But he doesn't know it doesn't
it drips. So I just told him like within
the last hour, I said, hey, thank you for taking my comments
out. But hey, just so you know,
(42:25):
water, you know, continued to drip and it's sad we wasted a
lot of water. But you know, I was trying not
to do it with the energy I used to do it with.
I was just like, hey, is there any way you could do better?
Like how could you be more in the present moment with that And
you? Know what I mean?
Instead of like you're a bad because the energy used to be
you're a bad person for doing that.
(42:46):
And I mean, that's I was Yep. And I was offloading what my
mother did and it was like, you know what, we're all doing our
best. And I know this is small like
drops of water, but it's like but.
It's how you do one thing. It's how you do everything.
So it's like trying to, yeah, it's like.
Just like be in the moment. Yeah.
So it's like if I can change it here, then I can change it with
myself, then I can change it with my coworkers, I can change
it with however many people. And it's like that habit over
(43:10):
and over becomes a belief, becomes a you know, and then it
becomes who you are. Eventually and what's going on
in him like, oh, he had a critical mother that he's like
feeling unsafe or whatever. I'm doing something for my mom
that and it smells putrid. It's, it's one of those like,
you don't want to be in the present moment with that smell,
right? So he was probably dissociating
and then he's like, and then also like, you know, I got to do
this or my mom's not going to love me.
(43:31):
Yeah, I know I could totally. I could totally see the other
side of it was like, I just did this putrid chore that's kind of
a task and I don't want to do it.
And now I'm getting harped on because I missed like 1% of the
detail of this putrid and being like, where's the thanks that I
got for doing? The putrid dude.
It doesn't. I know.
And like that's the weirdest part.
Like please don't let that over shadow the gratitude because I
kept saying thank you for doing that.
That's amazing. Yeah.
(43:51):
Leading with the gratitude. Well, but then but then it's
also like Blind side thank you and bam, you know, and it's
like, damn it, Nancy, I don't know the answer.
That's the thing. I really don't know how we
don't. Want to waste water?
Well, we don't, and it scared mebecause it's my only like this
is what I'm leaving to him. This little whatever townhouse
is. All I have to leave to him is
(44:11):
his security. So it is all fear.
You know, it's probably fear andsecurity.
You're like, OK, this is a falsesense of security, but if the
pipes freeze, it really things up this time of year, you know,
if you leave water. Yeah, but I think I think it
goes right back to ifs of like who's in the driver's seat when
they're delivering that message?Is it the inner critic that goes
like fear based like the water'sgoing to drip, the thing pipes
(44:33):
are going to freeze and then we're all going to die.
We're going to have mechanic that's going to cost like 10
grand or like that fear might like that's the inner critic,
what he wants to do when he's driving.
Or at least I'm talking to my guy.
No, he. Wants it and he's driving the
ship. Like, if you can, yeah.
It's like if you can say, oh, thank you for what you do.
Like I appreciate like, that is a good thing to remember.
Nice job and her critic. But for now, when we have this
(44:54):
conversation with this person welove, we're going to have you
like go into the background a little bit, if that's fine.
You can play with your Rubik's Cube if you want.
Like that's what my therapist told me.
Like we have this little space where he does like engineering
puzzles and like is OK, you can kind of like go back here and do
this. But we're going to be in like
the more self energy and we're going to be in the self.
And when we deliver this messagebecause we want to do it with
(45:16):
tact and we want to do it with care.
And we actually want. The solution and appreciation,
yeah. Because we want to convey all
those things and we also want. To and energetically.
Yes. And I think it's like the words
almost don't matter at that point.
If you're in self energy, the words really don't.
That's right. Yeah, that's right.
And it's all about that energy of like, I love you, you love
me, you helped me and. Yes.
(45:37):
And. Yes, and.
And we're human and we're going to do these little things where
we, and I do it too. I almost always, and nowadays I
end a criticism with, oh man, I do the same thing or I need a
list. I've got to have a list or we're
not going to get anything done. And it's not like it's, it's not
like he's not like not doing it because he's mad or he's trying
to, you know, say hey, you. He's just like, I forgot, you
(46:00):
know, I got distracted. He's down there, he's playing
guitar, having a good time. I get distracted, I forget like
it's you're just you, me on a different day.
This is the We're all the same thing.
Yes, that is it, Yeah. And when we don't even empathize
with ourselves, how do we expectother people to empathize with
other people? Exactly because it's what it's
how you're treating yourself is how you're going to reflect back
(46:21):
in that situation. If you if you're earner critic
and running amok, you're absolutely going to be inner
critic faced when you're dealingwith that situation.
And if you don't have self compassion, however, you're
going to have compassion for anyother living being or tree,
Yeah, or I mean, a tree is a being.
It all starts with ourselves. Like, yeah, we're so lacking
and. But maybe this is the whole
lesson of all the, you know, layers that we've been through
(46:43):
in Egypt and wherever we were islike, oh, the whole time we were
just supposed to learn self love.
We're just supposed to learn that was.
One of the most profound I was in the boundary riders up in
Canada, like the maybe second. The biggest boundary waters.
Yeah, it was like with my best friends and and I had, you know,
psychedelic, like psilocybin. And I remember like really going
(47:06):
inward and kind of one on my playlist and like an eye mask.
And I was like, I wanna like deal with some stuff.
Let's go like inward. And, you know, I ended up like
talking to this like deity and I'm like, what do I call you?
And he's like, Mr. Mushroom is fine.
And I'm like, OK, yeah, that's. Mr. Mushroom, of course it's a
patriarchal no, no, no, no, but that's for you.
It was. Because.
He came to me in a comedy way because.
It knew Mr. Mushroom is definitely not taking himself
(47:28):
too seriously. Yeah.
Mushroom is fine. And I'm like, sure, I love.
Mr. Mushroom, I love Mr. Mushroom.
And and but Alice. Also, it looks like, I mean,
come on, it's if you don't say Mr. Mushroom.
I mean, I don't want to gender apenis but.
Yeah, it's phallic. It's very phallic, so it makes
sense. Anyways, you.
(47:48):
Would have the L Maybe it's L Something in Spanish.
Yeah, but. Anyway, so you were OK, so you
were there. Yes, Boundary Waters BWCA.
Yeah, yeah, the Boundary Waters.Oh.
Man, expansive. And so we were in my favorite
campsite there, and it was just like, yeah, sitting in the tent
and went inward. And I was like getting all the.
And I was like asking it everything of like, OK, you
(48:09):
know, what should I do with all the.
And it was. And I was like, well, what is
the point of all this? Like, why are we even here?
And it's like, it's just a school so you can learn how to
love each other properly. I'm like, is that it?
I'm like, yeah, would you want abigger answer?
And then I was like, well, what?It's enlightened.
Mandy is like, it's this sweater.
It's this. It's there and I love it.
I love it. He's just real super casual
(48:30):
about it. What is a nightmare?
It's this. It's just right here.
And he's like, do you want, did you want it to be harder?
That can make it harder. I'm like, And then it was like
these scary images passed. I'm like, no, no, no, no.
This was nice. I like this.
You know what? Simple.
Simple is good, simple goodness.Thank you, Mr. Mushroom.
(48:51):
Thank you. You know, maybe we should have
closure and go out and out and Ican't make words, so maybe it's
time to not make words. Go out and commune with this
beautiful Mother Earth. Wow, we covered some beautiful
ground today. Really did this is so fun.
I I'm not I don't know how to button this up in any other way
(49:11):
except just say thank you. Thank you.
Thank you for the fast friendship.
Yeah, I knew. I mean, it's just like Bing,
Bing, Bing. I was like, OK, there's a reason
I'm talking to. I mean, past lives, Dolores
Cannon, psilocybin, nature, all of it.
I have. I mean, all of it.
(49:33):
Thank you. Thank you for being on this
beautiful learning. What is it?
We're learning how to love each other.
How? To love each other properly
properly is also a little bit ofa hand slap.
I thought you. Were Mr. Mushroom and you Be
more specific, Mr. Mushroom. Yeah.
Was I loving and correct? And then the whole spiral.
(49:53):
Begins that was it. Proper love?
You call that proper love? Yeah.
I don't know. It feels like a Monty Python
schedule. There.
That was it. She didn't love me properly.
It wasn't proper. You know what I mean?
So hard to say prop like proper should be spoken in an English.
(50:14):
Accent proper. It's not stop it Proper.
It's not proper. OK, well, we're gonna stop.
We're gonna, we're gonna turn all this off and we're gonna go
properly love each other in nature.
Yeah. I mean transcend all whatever
this is. All this tackles, yeah, it's
(50:34):
great, It's good tools. But we got we got transcend
nature, time. But we got transcended.
Yeah. OK, I'm stopping this.
OK, if I can. It's my crazy eyes.
Amazing. Oh my God, that was one of my
favorite traumedy episodes. I want to thank my guest Matt
McClain. You can find him on Instagram
(50:54):
and every all the things at GoodOne Maddie, Good one
GOODONEMATTY and wow, we had a magical walk around Boulder.
We went to Wonderland Lake. We saw a beautiful hawk eat a
beautiful rabbit. And I really feel like, oh,
(51:16):
there is something up for me in this healing process about
animals. And I know it's part of nature.
I just, I just, I'm OK with eating beans.
OK. I just thought I'm not a very
good hunter is what it is. Anyway, I hope everybody's out
there loving themselves, love yourself and love others
properly. And I want to thank my son,
(51:36):
Nathaniel Norton. He's playing guitar in the
basement right below me right now.
If you hear any music in the background, I'm also going to be
playing the Trauma D music loop that he created.
So thank you, Nathaniel Norton and for being my son and helping
me grow as a person and learninghow not to pass on generational
trauma and if I do, how to make amends.
(51:59):
You know, when we know better, we do better.
Do the trauma work that you needto do if you're having trauma
reactivity like I do sometimes. We are all doing our best.
Thank you for being a listener. Let me know if you have any
questions, comments or concerns.And if you want to be a guest on
Tromedy, reach out to me at nancynorton.tv.
And remember, no matter what, keep laughing.
(52:22):
Subscribe and share Tromedy.
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