May 20, 2025 • 50 mins
In this heartfelt episode, Jen sits down with Nichole Schmidt and Tara Petito, the mother and stepmother of Gabby Petito, to have a heart-to-heart conversation about Gabby’s life, legacy, and the incredible work they’re doing through the Gabby Petito Foundation. Nichole and Tara open up about their personal experiences with the media, their grief, and how they’ve channeled that pain into creating something powerful. The Gabby Petito Foundation, a 501(c)(3) organization, is committed to supporting organizations that help locate missing persons and provide aid to victims of domestic violence. Through education, awareness, and prevention efforts, they’re working to bring these critical issues into the public eye, benefiting our communities.Gabby’s tragic story—her disappearance during a cross-country road trip that included visits to our national parks—moved the nation. After an exhaustive search, it was revealed that her life was cut short. While their grief is unimaginable, Nichole and Tara are turning their personal tragedy into a force for good. Their hope is that Gabby’s foundation will continue to shed light on these important issues, ensuring that no one faces the pain of losing a loved one in silence.To learn more about the Gabby Petito Foundation visit:https://gabbypetitofoundation.org/
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To learn more about the show visit:
https://www.truecrimeandheadlines.com/Don't forget to say hi to your hosts, Jules and Jen!
Instagram:
@yourhostjules
@jenriverainvestigates
Have a case you want us to cover?
Please email us:
outreach@fireeyesmedia.com
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Help us keep telling cases by leaving a 5 star review and rating wherever you get podcasts.
True Crime and Headlines is a Fire Eyes Media LLC Network podcast and production.
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You're loved and
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:03):
Fire Eyes Media. Hey everybody, it's Jen and welcome back
to True Cremen Headlines with Jules and Jen. Today, I
have a really special episode to share with you all.
I had the pleasure of meeting Nicole Schmidt and Tara Petito,
Gabby Petito's mom and stepmom, at Advocacy comm this past March,
and we became fast friends. Today they're joining me on
(00:25):
this episode and we have a heart to heart about Gabby,
about their personal experiences with the media, and about the
Gabby Patito Foundation, the foundation they founded in Gabby's memory,
and the amazing things they're doing through that. I want
to personally thank Nicole and Tara for joining me for
today's episode. Now, without further ado, let's go.
Speaker 2 (01:05):
Well, thank you so much Niki and Tara for joining
me on this episode of True kremin Headlines. I'm so
excited to have you both. So today we're going to
be talking a little bit about Gabby's story and the
foundation and all of the work that Nicki and Tara
have been doing with the foundation, and then we're going
to touch on their experience and what they've gone through
(01:28):
in terms of just the media frenzy and just their
experience overall going through that, because I'm sure that we
talk about secondary trauma a lot too, Like that's something
I talk with my families that I work with, and
it's something that is a real thing. It's like drudging
that up and having to go through that and relive
it over and over again, and not to mention when
(01:51):
you have a case or something in the media that
just blows up and managing that, maneuvering that. So welcome,
let's get started. I guess we could just jump right in. Yeah,
Nicki and Tara, if you want to tell me and
tell us, tell our listeners a little bit about you both,
and then we can dive into Gabby's story.
Speaker 3 (02:13):
Sure. Well, I'm Nicki Schmidt. A lot of people know
me buy Nicole, but all my close friends call me Niki.
So I am Gabby's mom and I'm also the president
of Gabby Patito Foundation, and we're just advocates now at
this point. We didn't plan our lives to go in
(02:33):
this direction. However, we have a purpose and our daughter's
light is shining all over the world and we want
to continue her legacy by helping save lives through the
foundation and the work that we do, and I'm hoping that,
you know, if it saves one, we're doing our job,
and I hope it's a lot more than that, and
(02:54):
we're excited to keep going and work together and collaborate
with people all over the world to help change the world.
Speaker 2 (03:00):
Terror you want to jump in, of.
Speaker 4 (03:02):
Course, Jen, thank you so much for having us on.
I'm Gabby's stepmom, bonus mom. I would normally like to say,
Tara Tito. I've been in Gabby's life since she was
a year old, a little over a year, and I
always felt that she was supposed to be in my life.
I was supposed to be in her life. I always
(03:23):
felt that we had this amazing connection. People would even
say that she looked like me a lot of times.
It was a running joke. So but now we are.
I'm the treasurer of the Gabby Potito Foundation, and this
is not something that obviously we plan to do and
be a part of, but we've kind of got thrown
(03:45):
into the mix of being advocates. I never really wanted
to ever be in the public eye, but here we are,
and I'm trying to do that for the better good,
because if we can save a one life, that's one
extra life saved. There's not a lot of resources out there,
and Gabby kind of shine this bright light on this
(04:05):
beast of domestic abuse. So here we are.
Speaker 2 (04:08):
Well, I really I admire both of you because I
can't imagine what you've had to go through, just through
this entire process, and I think what you're doing with
the foundation is just so commendable. Like you said, even
if it's just helping one person, although I'm sure it's
been way more than one, it's worth it, right, It's
(04:28):
worth it's worth everything that you're putting into it. So
I appreciate you as a fellow advocate, as someone who
advocates for families, and I appreciate what you do and
the work that you do. It's I know it's not easy.
I can't imagine what you go through. But again, commendable
and you're so so so appreciated.
Speaker 4 (04:47):
Thank you, thank you.
Speaker 2 (04:49):
You're so welcome. Not going to cry. I'm not going
to cry. I promised myself.
Speaker 1 (04:55):
I was a good cries.
Speaker 2 (04:56):
Actually put Matt Skara on today, so we'll see, we'll
see what happens.
Speaker 4 (05:00):
To have waterproof, always waterproof.
Speaker 2 (05:02):
I know, and I don't I never do it, you know,
and then I tell myself every time I'm going to
get the waterproof, and I don't, you know, because it's not.
Speaker 4 (05:09):
I am a criar, so I waterproof is necessary. I
need waterproof in my life.
Speaker 2 (05:14):
So we can go into talking a little bit about
Gabby's story. Now, I did do an in depth, a
deep dive in Gabby's case that if to our listeners,
you can go back and you can listen to all
the details. We don't need to go through all the specifics,
but if you want to just share a little bit
about Gabby who she was and the amazing things that
(05:35):
have come out of the foundation, that would be that
would be great. I'd love to hear about it, and
I'm sure our listeners would too.
Speaker 3 (05:41):
From your perspective, well, yeah, I mean, Gabby was this
just free spirit. She loved art, she loved life. She
wanted to live every single day to the fullest. And
I wish that we could all say we do that.
I mean most people don't. So I did envy that
a lot about her. Wish that I had, you know,
(06:03):
the energy that she had to do the things that
she did. But I just was so proud of her.
She got to that point where she felt like she
was doing the thing that she loved so much, and
she started to seem she seemed really happy that she
was doing it. I was excited for her, and I
couldn't wait for that trip to end so I could
see her again, because I knew she was gonna be
(06:25):
gone for so long, and even though she lived in Florida,
I just felt like she was so far away. But
we talked almost every day, and she was just having
such a great time. But after everything, I mean, it
just it happened so quickly. I honestly look back and
it feels like it wasn't real. It was a time
after her murder that we I think we were all
(06:48):
kind of detached. I'm sure Terror would agree, like we
had this period of like complete detachment, and through the grief,
we had no idea what to do. I mean, there
were days when I just would just lay in bed
all day long. So even on the outside, I looked
like I was had it all together. I was having
(07:09):
those moments. But we got through it together, the four
of us, and we started the Foundation, and I think
that I think that we're rocking it. I mean, we're
still help us get a grief, a lot and terra.
If you have stuff to add to that.
Speaker 4 (07:23):
Well, Gabby again, I was in our life since she
was a year. She was always a presence. She was
always this bright light. She always came in and she
just she took over. She would take over her room.
Her laugh was just like resignated, like I just I
miss that. That's like the one thing that I missed
the most is her is her laugh. She again, and
(07:45):
she was. She loved to go on adventures. We would
go on vacation when she was younger, and me and
her when we would get to the resort and me
and her would go off on our own and kind
of explore a little bit because we were like we gotta,
we gotta go check this out. We gotta, you know,
like our own littlere within the adventure itself. She was
just she's also a daughter, so she could also be
(08:05):
a royal pain and you know, and drives absolutely crazy,
but she just was amazing. I actually posted something the
other day where it's not just about her needing us.
Sometimes we need them. They help our soul, and she
definitely did that. She would help my soul all the time,
(08:26):
just being just being her, just being the amazing person
she was is. She was a great big sister. She
has three younger brothers and two younger sisters who she
loved and adored. They never fought. I don't know about
Nicky's kids, but her siblings on her dad's side, they
(08:48):
never fought. They her last actually her last text message
well snap, sorry they don't text snap was a picture
of her to Jowie. That was her last known communication
with anybody. And we have the hat that she was wearing,
and we treasure that that moment that he has that. Yeah,
she was just amazing and we miss her so much.
(09:11):
It's it's so difficult. In the beginning, you just so
I always like to have, you know, like I liked
my wine. I was like to have a couple of glasses.
Not that it was an issue, but I was like,
after I could not even have a glass because I
would just lay in bed and cry and never I
couldn't it just couldn't function. I did decide that I
(09:31):
never wanted to be that person and stuck in that
rabbit hole where I just couldn't get out of it.
So starting the foundation and trying to help others really
helped us too, and it helped our healing process. It
gave us something that we could get up to every
day and work on. But I didn't make sure that
I did not want to get stuck in that rabbit
(09:52):
hole where I just couldn't couldn't move. It does happen,
and I allow it to happen, because that's grief. It
comes in way, it comes in different forms. It doesn't
it's not the same for everybody. It doesn't come at
the same it doesn't come at the same force every day.
It's different. But I just learned to write it as
the way that I can.
Speaker 2 (10:12):
Yeah, and that's really all you can do, right is
just to get through the best that you can. And
I think that again, like what you're both doing with
the Foundation is amazing, especially at the time that you're
doing it, but like you said, it's something that has
helped you with your grief, and I think you've done
such an amazing job really embodying Gabby's spirit within the
(10:37):
Foundation because you could just see it. It's just like
you could just see it, you could feel it with
the colors and like the pictures of her, you just
get a really good glimpse into who Gabby was and
like as if you know her, you know, she just
seemed very adventurous and independent. Even when I go on
the website, it's just like wow, like you just get
(10:57):
that vibe like Wow, Gabby was super awesome.
Speaker 1 (11:01):
She was such a cool girl.
Speaker 4 (11:03):
Yeah, she wish she was an awesome chick. Like she
was awesome. She was always go with the flow, like
all right, we're gonna go do that today. Sure it's
from a young age, like all right, like yeah, sure,
let's go, let's go do that. She had everybody wrapped
around her little finger. I everybody wrapped around I mean,
she could get you to do anything. Like So she
(11:25):
was just awesome. She was so cool.
Speaker 3 (11:27):
Yeah, she like knew stuff that I feel like she
was far beyond her years. Her soul was much older
than she was. And like so she did this piece
of art in high school and it said I see
humans but no humanity on it. So like she had
this like kind of deeper feeling about things. I think
(11:49):
that came out in her artwork. But yeah, she was
just just amazing all around, all around. I mean she
was a normal teenager. She was paying the ass, and
we absolutely had our moments, but overall, there was just
a presence about her, just her energy. She was here
to do big things and she couldn't accomplish those big
(12:12):
things here. I think that she's accomplishing them now and
through us we can make it happen. So it's all
her though.
Speaker 4 (12:20):
I feel like she picked us for parents because she
did have a big like a larger purpose than she
could accomplish here in life. So she picked us too
because she knew that we could do the work and
have her guide us.
Speaker 2 (12:35):
Yeah, and that's amazing, It really is amazing. But yeah,
she just you know, I have teenagers myself, just looking
you know, every teenager is different and they have their
their pros and their cons like any other normal human being,
but just from a mom perspective too, Like I would
be so proud. I would be so proud of Gabby
(12:56):
because you just see one thing that I love. Like,
I watched the documentary and I got to see what
really stood out to me was Gabby and her personality
and her independence and how persistent she was to make
her dreams come true. And I guess I saw a
little bit of a spark of like myself in there,
and I was like, wow, like I love this so much,
(13:18):
and the fact it doesn't surprise me that she's making
such a huge impact even after she's gone, you know,
and I think that's just going to continue. And the
foundation and the work that you ladies are doing. I
think Gabby's going to continue guiding you and I think
she continues to do that. I don't think that's ever
going to stop. And I'm just I'm excited to see
what you all continue to do through the foundation and
(13:42):
through Gabby's story. I think it's going to It's really impactful.
You know, you can see it. Even even myself, I
can attest just hearing Gabby's story. There's just something, you know,
there's so many stories out there, especially with domestic violence,
and it's sad. There was definitely a calling there with
Gabby and with your family and what you're doing, and
(14:03):
it's just beautiful to see that there's something really amazing
coming out of such a horrible tragedy.
Speaker 3 (14:09):
So and it's mind boggling how fast it grew and
how big it got, how many people she touched. I mean,
we had the media telling us they never seen anything
like this, the FBI saying they've never seen a story
like this that they couldn't even believe it. We don't
know why our daughter was the one that's chosen for this.
(14:31):
I laugh about it because it's just it's still unbelievable.
You know, you turn on the TV and you see
like your life playing out on it's just it's crazy.
It just doesn't feel real. But it's all for a
higher purpose, and I know that it's saving lives. We
have the stories. I'm editing a video right now for
one of our presentations and it's these women who are
(14:52):
talking about how Gabby saved them and it's just like
awesome to hear that. So it keeps is going, for sure,
because if she died in Vain, then we probably would
be miserable and you know, just in bed all the
time and just living in that horrible state of depression.
And we don't want to do that. We want to
help people.
Speaker 4 (15:11):
And we do have the four of us, so there
are four parents and we do lean on each other.
We lean on each other often. I'm not feeling well
or up to something like Nikki, I'm just I'm done today,
like I'm not going any further, and she's like, I
take the day, Like it's very hard to do that
sometimes because you want to just we have work that
we have to complete, and I'm like, that's funny, but
(15:33):
I'll try.
Speaker 3 (15:35):
When you me the other day, you're like for us,
and I'm like, ha, yeah.
Speaker 4 (15:39):
Hat, that's cute. We try, We try. We've come so far.
I don't think if it was just me and Joe,
I don't think we would have started a foundation. I
don't think we would have ever been able to do
what we're doing as four parents. We all have different backgrounds,
so we're just taking it day by day. We've accomplished
(16:01):
so much so far in the you know, the almost
four years. It's crazy that it's almost four years. It's
almost four years. But we've accomplished a lot, and we're
just going to keep going. And like I said, there's
going to be day that that days that are difficult,
but we're just going to take each day day by
day and try to accomplish what we can accomplish. And again,
it's been working so far. We can't do it all
(16:23):
at once, but we're getting there. We're trying, we're trying.
Speaker 2 (16:26):
So yeah, well, you're doing a fantastic job. If that
means anything. I think you're doing a fantastic job and
getting out there. I mean, you ladies are traveling and
you know your hobbies too, and say hobbies, but you
I know, it's it's all it's the four of you,
and all four of you are amazing. And even that
dynamic is not super common. So it's really cool to
(16:48):
see that you have such a close knit relationship and
that you all can lean on each other and that
you're going through this together. And I see that you
both will travel and then your husbands will travel and
go to events, and that's just it's so cool to
see that it's a family effort and that you're all
working together for Gabby and for the cause and for
the foundation. And I really I admire that. You know,
(17:10):
that's amazing. So because again, it's just not a it's
not a common theme, it's not a common dynamic that
you see within families, especially in tragedies. It just doesn't
it doesn't happen that way often.
Speaker 4 (17:21):
We well, we tried to take care of ourselves too,
even when we go on these trips. Like I mean,
so Joe and Jim were just they were just away together.
They went to South Dakota Rapid City and then they
went to La, so they had too stops and before
they left, we're joking around. I'm like, oh, so it's
going to be the two bold guys going away. I'm
(17:42):
like with the matching tattoos. And they're like, yeah, someone's
going to ask about their matching tattoos and I'm going
to be like, yeah, there are our daughters.
Speaker 3 (17:54):
Well, and then somebody wade an article that somebody wrote
the fathers of Gabby.
Speaker 4 (17:58):
But fathers.
Speaker 5 (18:01):
So well, that's great around because I mean we still
have we still are allowed to joke, We're still allowed
to be happy, We're still allowed to do things, and
that's part of our self care.
Speaker 4 (18:15):
It's funny though, because they went on this trip and
I never put it that way for Nicky and I
like we're going away and saying the moms.
Speaker 2 (18:23):
So, but that's funny.
Speaker 4 (18:27):
We're the moms where the moms, But I never put
it that where the you know, like something else moms.
Speaker 3 (18:36):
I prefer for the record to travel with Tara because
we always find like fun stuffing go on, like well hikes,
you know, but the hikes that are not really out
of breath and.
Speaker 4 (18:50):
For us, but.
Speaker 3 (18:54):
We have a great time. We try to because we
do so many serious things. We're crying, we're talking about
all these serious things, and then we're like, wow, we're
in another state, Like what can we do while we're here?
So we find that that moment to kind of go
and just be where we are, and it's something that
we feel we were guided by Gabby to do because
obviously she wanted to see the whole country and probably
(19:16):
the world eventually, so that's what we want to do.
Speaker 4 (19:18):
So my one of my bucket lists is to visit
every every state in the country, Like that is something
and then I eventually get out of you know, out
of the country and travel the world. But I do
want to see every every state. I would love that.
So I'm almost I'm not. I'm like halfway there, maybe
a little bit more than halfway there. But Gabby is
(19:39):
guiding us and she's got to you got to get
us to different locations. GAVs, can you work on that?
Speaker 3 (19:45):
I was thinking, like Hawaii next, maybe I wouldn't mind.
Speaker 4 (19:50):
I'd like to go to Alaska and Montana. She keeps
telling us that we need to go to Montana.
Speaker 2 (19:55):
So my family in Montana in Great Falls, Oh, my grandmother,
my aunt's out there, it's beautiful.
Speaker 4 (20:04):
That's what I hear, So as I want to get there.
Speaker 3 (20:07):
I think that's next.
Speaker 2 (20:09):
Yeah, absolutely, but yeah, that's that's really cool. And to
kind of touch on having fun and laughing, like laughter
is the best medicine. It really is, and you still
have to be able to enjoy your life and be
able to you know, move forward and you still can
do fun things and Gabby will still be along for
(20:29):
the ride. And I think that's really cool. Do you
guys take like do you do? Because from what I see,
I mean I didn't clearly personally know Gabby, but she
seemed like she was really big and taking video and
documenting and pictures. You guys make sure that when you
do go on trips, like you're taking pictures and documenting everything.
I think that would be really cool to like have that, like, hey, Gab,
(20:51):
look look we're actually documenting.
Speaker 4 (20:54):
Yeah we try, yeah, we try. She was always you know,
she was the photographer show made us take pictures and
I'm grateful that we have those pictures. But yeah, of
course we got to try to get as many pictures
as possible. I think I have like twenty thousand pictures
in my phone right now, So I don't know what
to do with them, but yet it's full.
Speaker 2 (21:15):
So that's the challenge is figuring it out, is creating
like those those either virtual scrapbooks or scrap books of
some sorts, you can keep them all organized.
Speaker 4 (21:24):
But she was she was very good at organizing that.
So she was very good at we we have the
files of all of her photos.
Speaker 3 (21:30):
You would be very happy with her organization. Skilled tend
you'd probably like this girl is amazing.
Speaker 4 (21:36):
Yeah, I would, I would love it.
Speaker 2 (21:39):
I would absolutely love it. But I think that kind
of leads us into a great time to transition into
talking about your experience, just in terms of the media,
Like how I mean it was amazing, it's still is amazing.
How quickly Gabby's story like blew up and it got
(22:01):
out there and people were interacting and talking about it,
and it brought up harder discussions about domestic violence and
about you know, silent things that weren't seen or signs
and all of those things. But I want to hear
about your personal experience because I think that's something that
and I'm sure you can attest to it. It's not
(22:21):
something that you really get the opportunity to talk about
often is kind of how that affected you and your
family and what you all had to go through with that,
And even now, it's got to be hard. Like you're
basically well, very well known and famous, like everyone knows
Gabby's story, you have the Netflix documentary going out, you know,
(22:43):
getting approached things like that, so it's like, I'm sure
it's life changing.
Speaker 3 (22:48):
Yeah, it's like I mentioned before, you turn when you
turn on like Hulu or something, you don't expect to
see like your daughter's face on the screen. And it
gets me every time still even though because I'm you know,
when I'm trying to live my normal life and then
something pops up, I'm like, oh, that's right, like this
this is our life. But it was. It was a whirlwind.
(23:10):
It was a real whirlwind. And dealing with things now
is like when the documentary came out and I know
we talked about this, it felt like we went through
it all over again because it was the same kind
of frenzy. It was. People were freaking out and like
calling us wanting to interview us all the time, and
it was like traumatizing for a little bit there after.
(23:31):
But we knew that documentary was going to be powerful
and help people, so you know, and luckily it was
us we helped guide that documentary. It wasn't one of
those that many people out there have made random, random
things without us. Lifetime movie, we were no, we had
no part in that. It's fictional, completely fictional. They just
(23:53):
used her name. But yeah, it's been really weird. Yeah
I'm sure feels similar.
Speaker 4 (24:01):
Yeah, yeah, it doesn't make sense. You can't wrap your
head around it. It's just something that it has helped
us because of how much we've been in the media.
It has helped the foundation. I think it has helped
bring more awareness for domestic violence and for missing people.
It just it's hard to understand that it's Gabby, but
(24:23):
it has changed our life. I mean, life is not
normal anymore. It's totally different. My children's lives, which as
much as we've tried to keep them out of the media, unfortunately,
my older son has my husband's name. He is a junior,
so people are always going to know his name. Even
(24:43):
the kids in school they know who he is. So
he's got a new group of girlfriends that always come
over and they want bracelets and they're like, we watch
the documentary. They're so sweet. But our life is never
going to be the same. It's never going to go back.
I think if you lose a child, it's never going
to be the same after that for everybody, if dealing
(25:04):
with the media or not. The media in the beginning,
I think the media was. Yes, they were pushy, they
wanted the story, they wanted to talk to us, but
people were also respectful a lot of times. I mean, yeah,
you have the fake ones that put the story and
just bless it out there, but the main people that
would interview us were very respectful. We made some great
(25:27):
friends within different news organizations like Brian Atton we we
love him. Then there's jb we love him as him
as well. So we did make some great friends. If
we go down the rabbit hole to listen to like
to read social media, which happened sometimes a lot of people.
(25:50):
If anybody made a negative comment, there was other people
supporting us and would attack that. We didn't even have
to go on there. People would just be there for us.
The hardest part of the media is well, I don't
like the spotlight, but I think it was some things
were just retriggering and re traumatizing, especially when his family,
(26:11):
his lawyer specifically would come out and say things that
was really hurtful, like why are you you don't want
to talk about certain things to help us to find
Gabby in the beginning, but you're going to come over
and you're going to say things about us that are
untrue or just hurtful, like we are victims here, our
(26:33):
daughter was a victim. Your client is not, Your clients
are not. And that that was I think the most
triggering part of dealing.
Speaker 3 (26:42):
With yeah, everything, Yeah, that whole beginning part worth like
their lawyer making comments all the time, like we it
just made us physically sick, Like we were just sick
all the time listening to their garbage, and we just
tried to do our best to maintain our composure. And
we knew that it was important just to find Gabby,
(27:03):
and then we knew it was important to advocate and
talk about, you know, domestic violence and what happened to
Gabby and how important that story is to help others,
and how we could advocate for missing persons, and that
was what was important to us. You know, we had
to stay away from all that other, you know stuff
(27:23):
with them because you know, we went through the whole
court case and everything and when that was over finally
after the depositions, and like we just you know, we
ended it and settled it out. Because we got our depositions,
we all felt a huge weight come off our shoulders
and we were We saw people disappointed in the media.
They wanted to see us go to trial with them,
(27:45):
but we couldn't. We couldn't do it.
Speaker 4 (27:48):
We could have.
Speaker 3 (27:48):
Lost, We could have very easily lost, and we would
have had to pay for their late fee. I mean,
there's all kinds of crazy laws. And I didn't know
about this. I mean because I was like from day one, Oh,
We're going to take them to the end, and then
I realized that we couldn't do that. But we did
get our answers, and that's what we wanted the whole time.
Speaker 4 (28:06):
Yeah, yeah, we.
Speaker 3 (28:07):
Were just you know, the media frenzy was nuts and
we are. I think that we learned so much and
one of our one of the things that we do
as a foundation when we talk to families is help
them through that process as well. We you know, I
get a lot of questions like who do I deal with?
How do I answer these questions?
Speaker 4 (28:24):
Who? You know?
Speaker 3 (28:25):
I tell people like you can't trust everyone there's certain
people you shouldn't work with. I mean, the New York
Post put my address in the paper. Come on the
digital article, like they put our address out there, and
I'm like, why would you do that. I don't even
know why you would do that.
Speaker 1 (28:42):
So and not that couldn't find it and that's so dangerous.
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 4 (28:47):
Yeah, well, our family, our family was docked, so they
put because they can get your information, they put it
out on a TikTok and then they said that my
son was this guy in Italy that antagonized another TikToker
and the guy wound up doing a TikTok live and
(29:08):
committed suicide. And they said it was my son that
did this, and they put us up and I mean,
I had to leave my house. I couldn't say. I
was like, we were getting death threats beyond like so many,
Like I think we wound up getting at least two
to three thousand death threats. The TikTok had over like
(29:30):
twelve million views on it. There was twelve thousand comments
on it. One of my son's friends was going in
on that you got the wrong family, like this is
Gabby Potito's brother. You have the wrong, the wrong kid,
Like he didn't do this, he's a minor.
Speaker 3 (29:46):
This was a mistaken identity.
Speaker 4 (29:48):
It was a mistaken Yeah, my gosh, but I don't
know if it was or it wasn't, or if I don't,
I'm a little weary that it was a mistaken identity.
I don't one hundred percent believe that they did get
our information, but they everybody's information is public, but they
just put it in one TikTok and was like this
(30:08):
is then blasted it and blasted it, and a revenge
type of threat.
Speaker 3 (30:14):
Been accusing him of accusing him having somebody take their
own life. That's that's awful, Like it was awful. That's
the poor kid is so traumatized already and now.
Speaker 4 (30:26):
So and in the beginning, my husband actually got death
threats also because yeah, I guess at Gabby's service, he
told you know, this was before we really knew anything
about domestic abuse or domestic you know, we we weren't
really well versed in it yet. I mean, it just
happened again. It was at Gabby's service, and he had
(30:49):
told people to leave, just if you're an abusive relationship,
get out and leave. And women were leaving where people
were leaving and their significant other, their abusers was not
happy about it, so they were threatening him because of it.
Now we know is to say to get out safely,
(31:09):
but in the beginning it was a part. That part
was difficult. That part was hard. We did make Gabby's
service live and we wanted people to see it and
that was not an easy decision. So to have that
backlash that was that was difficult to deal with. That's
just one of the negative things. There's so many positive
things dealing with the media. It has helped us so much.
(31:31):
Like I said, if we could save one life, that's
that's all. And we know that Gabby has saved many
more than one. And that's that's why we're here. That's
why we're doing it these because of Gabby stories. Those
are those are the ones we want to hear. We
want to know that Gabby's still still still up there,
you know, rocking it and guiding us. So that's that's
(31:53):
the good part.
Speaker 2 (31:54):
Thank you for shutting light on some of the negative
aspects too, because a lot of times people don't see that,
they don't see what you've had to go through as
well to get to this point. But you all stayed
strong and you stayed together as a family and you
got through it. And I think that speaks volumes. That
says a lot too, you know that. Okay, Yeah, it
(32:14):
was really tough and it really sucked that we had
to go through that. But we're here and Gabby's making
a difference. Her story's making a difference. It's touching people's lives.
It's saving women's lives, men too, you know, men go
through it too. It's saving people's lives, and that's the
most important thing. But I do think it's really important
too to shed light on your experiences, both negative and positive,
(32:36):
with the media and with everything that you've gone through
as a family, because it's not it's not something that's seen.
You know, everyone just sees what they see on you know,
the news or in some of these documentaries or in
the Lifetime movie that has nothing to do with you guys.
But I think it's important to give that time and energy.
(33:01):
It's important because there's lots of families out there too
that go through this, and man, they don't realize that,
you know, can't it does get better, keep keeping on
and that there are resources and there are you know,
foundations and things out there that can help that they're
not alone. So and there's lots of other advocates out
(33:21):
there as well that are willing to help, you know,
like Jeweles and I and what we do and so
many others, so many others. But yeah, thank you for
sharing that, because I think it's important.
Speaker 4 (33:33):
I think that if you are going through it, and
you are in the midst of it, there is a
light at the tunnel. Take your days, take your good
days with your bad days. It's okay to disassociate. Try
not to get stuck in that. Try to be mindful,
try to be busy, try to do it's best for you,
and just ride those ways. The rabbit holes are very
(33:56):
easy to get stuck down, but try to be mindful
to say of them as much as possible, because that's
that's the hard part. Dealing with the media, if you
is great because if your level one goes missing, you
need the media, like you want the media to try
to help you to get their story out. So you
try to have to want to utilize that as much
(34:18):
as possible. And if you can't get the media's attention,
try to start your own Facebook pages or your own
or you can reach out to us. We have a
Facebook page that we put missing flyers up. There's also
the Aware Foundation, So there are other resources out there.
You just have to know who to go to. You
(34:41):
have to be careful of the bad ones out there
that might use your story just for their own personal gain,
and then some of them actually go after it. I
don't think we've had we had that as much, but
I know that there are stories that they do go
after the victims' families and that's not right. So that's
what you got to be careful of.
Speaker 3 (35:01):
Yeah, yeah, everything Tara said. And if you go to
Gabby Potato Foundation dot org, you can go to the
find help button, or you can go to the Alliance
and there's some resources under there. And one of the
things we have on there is what to do if
a loved one goes missing. There's kind of like a checklist.
There's like a printable PDF checklist to go through. How
to have a good relationship with law enforcement, how to
(35:25):
have good relationship with the media, how to talk to
the media, what you should and shouldn't do and say
when it comes to I notice a lot of people
will put their phone numbers out right on their Facebook
public Facebook page and they're looking for someone, and I'm like,
I'll reach out to them and I just say, hey,
just heads up. You know, you may not want to
put your personal phone number out there. I know you want,
(35:46):
you're desperate and you want to find some answers, but
make sure you put like the tip line, whatever police
officer you're working with, let them take care of that,
or you know, make a make up an email or something,
but don't put your phone number there. So a lot
of people do these things that they don't know. They
don't know in the beginning, they think they're doing the
right thing. But we were very lucky, we were guided
(36:09):
in the beginning and we kind of did everything mostly right.
I think we made a few mistakes, but nothing really bad.
So we like to do help people get through those times.
As far as domestic violence goes, safety planning is key.
There's a lot of things also on our website, a
lot of resources, and we just want people to know
(36:31):
they're not alone. We can't personally talk to everybody, we
can't personally help every person, but we know a lot
of people, we know a lot of resources, and we
can make connections. So I mean, just yesterday I got
a text from an advocate who was like, this is
a missing person's advocate and they reached out and they said, Hey,
(36:53):
there's this woman reached out to me, her daughter needs
help in another state. I said, I happen to know
an advocate in that state. Let me ask her. And
then I made this connection and got this girl cooked
up with a detective that actually cares. And I mean
just getting people to the right resources and sometimes we
can help more on the more personal level that way.
But yeah, is something Yeah, just reach out, Just.
Speaker 4 (37:15):
Reach out, Just reach out. I mean, we might not
be able to help you, but maybe we can guide
you in the right direction. There's things that we just
cannot do. Unfortunately, we can't really give legal advice, but
maybe we'd be able to direct you in an area
that you could get something going back to if your
loved one does go missing. What we did we focused
(37:38):
on Gabby. We focused on just finding Gabby. I think
that is an important thing. Focus on your loved one.
If you start making accusatory statements and they're not true,
they can actually come after you, So that is something
that is really important. So just try to focus as
much on your loved one as possible. Thankfully, we had
(38:00):
super Ric who is an attorney who did help us.
It was a family friend of Nikki's, so thankfully we
had him to help guide us. And was like, no,
you need to just focus on Gabby because you know us. Yeah,
because if Brian didn't, if it was if it wasn't Brian,
and I mean, now we know that it was that
(38:21):
took Gabby's life, But if it wasn't and we're saying
that we know it was him, we know it was him,
then he could actually he could have came after us legally.
So that's that's very important when it comes to domestic violence.
We are trying to make as many connections as possible.
We do like to go speak at schools, universities. We're
(38:43):
going to We're going to go speak at a high
school in September and I'm super super excited about it.
And we spoke at another college just recently. They reached out.
She was amazing at one of the students there. She
reached out to us and we were like, yeah, we'll
be this. These college students are amazing and they are
(39:05):
they want they want this information. They want to know
how to keep them safe and how to protect themselves.
And there's different programs, there's different community programs, and you
can go to our alliance, the Gabby Potato Alliance, and
we're trying to connect with as many resources as possible.
So if you need a community based problem, you can
try to go to our site and hopefully find one
(39:26):
that maybe fits you, fits your needs. Same thing with
if your loved one goes missing. We have other missing
organizations on there because you want to spread it out
as much as possible. So we're trying. We're trying to
make all these connections. That's why we started the alliance
so we can We're not one HU.
Speaker 3 (39:46):
Yeah, we can't reinvent the wheel, and we're not experts
in anything. We've learned a lot, but we are certainly
not experts. But you know, organizations like one Love and
then the Expect Respect Program out of Texas, and you
know there's just the Aware Foundation. You know, there's all
these amazing organizations out there that have already been doing
(40:08):
things for so long, like we just want to be
partners with them, like we're all working together for the
greater good. I make phone calls every time I'm like
I don't know what to do in this situation, I
know who I can call for this, and it's great
to have that, to have allies out there. We can't
all live in our silos and think that we can
change the world on our own, so collaborative efforts. Communities
(40:28):
need to come together and work together for the greater good.
If there's a missing loved a missing person in your community,
even if it's not your loved one, think about how
you can help that family. You know, go to their vigils,
share their flyers, sign their petitions. You know, there's just
a lot you can do to help family, and even
if you're not directly connected. But yeah, we just you know,
(40:52):
that's what we do, collaboration and togetherness, and I think
we can all change the world together. So I don't
think that's a goal that's not attainable. I really think
we can do it.
Speaker 4 (41:02):
So there's even another there's this other program that we
learned about and they're out of Pennsylvania. It's Purple one
and it's a four hour course. You can take it.
If you are a store owner, you can take it.
It's really like it's a bystander program. So a lot
of times if you are being abused, your abuser might
(41:24):
only allow you to go to one store, and how
do you get resources if you're only allowed to go
to this one store or two stores. Now, if you
go to this one store, they might have an advocate.
It's not an advocate, but it's an advocate for an advocate,
so they might be able to connect you to resources.
So if you take this program and reach out to
the TV organization in your community, you guys can work
(41:46):
together where you're just a bystander and you're like, well
I can I can help you. It's a four hour program.
They can take it and then try to help people
in their community that way. So there's other different ways
that you can help. You don't have to be an advocate.
I mean, I'm not going to be a police officer.
I'm not going to law school. So there's there's other
ways that you can try to help and bring people
(42:09):
together and bring the resources to the victim.
Speaker 3 (42:14):
And we actually partner with them, and we're trying to
make Purple one national thing for communities because anybody can
take it. Anybody can be a good bystander and know
what to do in a situation if they're seeing like
for example, the guy that called nine on one when
Gabby and Brian were fighting. You know, he did the
right thing. He called them in one. He gave all
the right information. Some people might want to intervene, and
(42:36):
there's scenarios on how if you do think it's safe
to intervene, how you should do that, what you should say.
So it's a really great program, and it's also great
for people who own businesses, so they can become a
purple dot business. So and a victim knows I can
go in here and I can get connected to services
by somebody in this business. It's really really cool programs.
(42:59):
So that's how our website as well. You can go
check that out at leaks right to their Purple one
do org website. And yeah, there's just so many good
programs out there and we're just going to try and
collect them all and put them in one place on
our website so people can find these resources through us,
because they do come for Gabby and they might need help,
so they can find them there.
Speaker 4 (43:21):
So actually this wasn't our idea to do this. We
had a tech company that came and then they came
to us and they came to this with this idea
and they helped us Loop Solutions. They are amazing. They've
also the CEOs had her unfortunate running with domestic violence,
(43:42):
so it's personal. It is personal to her. She has
she's just she helped design our website. That's like when
you see all a Gabby, she helped do that. So
they came to us, they were like, we have this
amazing idea because people do. Gabby has brought people to
People do come to our site looking for something, so
(44:05):
it's again it was their idea. They're amazing. So they
helped us build our website.
Speaker 3 (44:09):
And yeah, and it's still being still being worked on
and added to so if people come there and they're
not finding exactly the information yet that they're looking for,
it will be added at some point. We are adding
more and more. We have our own programs we're adding.
My husband started ah a program for first responders. It's
(44:29):
called Unseen Advocates. It's for you know, nine on one operators,
em ts, firefighters, paramedics, you know, all the police officers,
all the first responders that could use this extra training.
And we feel like they have an opportunity to be
an advocate out out on the street and somebody that
a you know, a survivor might be willing to talk
(44:51):
to because they're in the back of an ambulance and
they finally have some privacy, so they might want to
reveal something. So training them on trauma informed how to
how to connect them to services. So that's another big
program of ours that we're really excited about. And he's
already started doing it and it's getting a lot of
good feedback. So yeah, we're busy, very We're very busy.
Speaker 2 (45:16):
That's exciting though. That's amazing that it's even expanding into
other programs.
Speaker 4 (45:21):
That's so cool.
Speaker 2 (45:23):
I love that. I wanted to give you both the
opportunity to share some exciting news. I know you have
one really big exciting secret that you've been keeping, so
I'd love to give you the opportunity to talk about that.
And that is drum roll.
Speaker 4 (45:38):
So we are writing a book. We have a book deal,
so it should come out in about I guess a
little over a year, maybe this time next year. It
depends on certain things, but be on the lookout. It's
all of four parents. We all dealt with the same situation,
(46:02):
the same thing, and we are all had a different
experience with our trauma, our grief and even dealing with
the media. Every each and every one of us had
something different. So yeah, we're excited. I feel like it's
going to be really cathartic. It's going to get a
lot of stuff out that maybe that we couldn't fit
(46:23):
into the documentary. So yeah, it couldn't I couldn't been.
It couldn't have been. It couldn't fit us all in there.
So m it gives us all the voice equally.
Speaker 3 (46:35):
Yeah, we're we're super excited. I think it's going to
be an amazing experience for us to each have our
own voice. We all experienced something different through the process. Also,
going back to raising Gabby, how who were who are
we as individuals? How did we raise Gabby together?
Speaker 4 (46:54):
How?
Speaker 3 (46:55):
You know, this is the whole, the whole kind of
like life story, and then how we through what we
went through and came together and formed the foundation and
are still working together. I mean, hopefully by February of
next year it's ready. It might be a little bit
more than that, but we're we're excited, and I know
it's gonna be a lot of work and it's probably
gonna be like blood, sweat and tears, but we will
(47:18):
we will do it until we feel that it's.
Speaker 4 (47:19):
Ready and right.
Speaker 3 (47:20):
And I am manifesting now that we're gonna have a
New York Times bestseller, So let's do it.
Speaker 2 (47:26):
Yes, we're coming into agreement right now. It's going to happen.
Speaker 1 (47:29):
It's you're putting it out there, It's going to happen.
Speaker 2 (47:34):
That's that's amazing. Congratulations, I know that's going to be.
I'm excited. I can't wait to read it. I'm I'm
gonna I'm definitely going to be running to the part.
Speaker 3 (47:43):
I can't wait to read all the other All the
other presents really.
Speaker 2 (47:48):
Well. And I love that it's going to be from
each of your perspectives because that's so important because you
all are different people and you had your own experiences
and I just love how it's where you guys came
to where you are now. It's such an incredible story,
it really is, and it's your story, and it's your
(48:09):
story to tell. So what better way to do that
in a book? Right?
Speaker 4 (48:12):
Yeah, you get all of you gets so much fun
in the book.
Speaker 3 (48:17):
Yeah, it's more like a tell all right, Like you
can just say what you want. It's your voice, and
you know you'll write it in a way that it
makes you feel comfortable. You don't regret saying it the
wrong way because you're on video or something, and it's
you say it the way you want to say it. So, yes,
this is amazing.
Speaker 2 (48:38):
Well, I'm really excited for you both, and I can't
wait to see all of the endeavors that you continue
to do and accomplish. And I'm just really blessed to
call you new friends. And yeah, I'd love to have you,
ladies back on whenever you're available and chat more. I
think this was such a great conversation. I think it'll
be really eye opening to a lot of our listeners too,
(49:00):
to hear a different side and to hear your perspectives
on the media and you know, running the nonprofit and
what goes on behind the scenes. I think that's really
important and really special. Is there anything else you ladies
wanted to share before we end it?
Speaker 4 (49:16):
Behind you always be kind, There's no reason I'm mind.
Speaker 3 (49:19):
Gabby shirt, must be a.
Speaker 4 (49:21):
Nice, must be a nicer person.
Speaker 3 (49:23):
There you go, that's Gabby's actual quote. So it doesn't
get any simpler than that, right, Just be nicer?
Speaker 4 (49:30):
And I love that tik tak. It's hysterical it's a
little screechy voice. I love it. That's great.
Speaker 2 (49:40):
Well, thank you Nikki and Tara for joining me today.
I really appreciate your time. It has been a complete
pleasure having you both on Yes, and thank you all
for tuning in so much. Thank you for listening to
Tara and Nicky's story, and make sure to go follow
make sure to go check out the Gabby Potito Foundation.
I'll make sure I have all of the links and
(50:02):
ways to connect with Nikki and Tara in the show
notes below. Well, thank you all so much and we'll
catch you next time.
Speaker 4 (50:10):
Thank you, thank you.
Fire Eyes Media. Hey everybody, it's Jen and welcome back
to True Cremen Headlines with Jules and Jen. Today, I
have a really special episode to share with you all.
I had the pleasure of meeting Nicole Schmidt and Tara Petito,
Gabby Petito's mom and stepmom, at Advocacy comm this past March,
and we became fast friends. Today they're joining me on
(00:25):
this episode and we have a heart to heart about Gabby,
about their personal experiences with the media, and about the
Gabby Patito Foundation, the foundation they founded in Gabby's memory,
and the amazing things they're doing through that. I want
to personally thank Nicole and Tara for joining me for
today's episode. Now, without further ado, let's go.
Speaker 2 (01:05):
Well, thank you so much Niki and Tara for joining
me on this episode of True kremin Headlines. I'm so
excited to have you both. So today we're going to
be talking a little bit about Gabby's story and the
foundation and all of the work that Nicki and Tara
have been doing with the foundation, and then we're going
to touch on their experience and what they've gone through
(01:28):
in terms of just the media frenzy and just their
experience overall going through that, because I'm sure that we
talk about secondary trauma a lot too, Like that's something
I talk with my families that I work with, and
it's something that is a real thing. It's like drudging
that up and having to go through that and relive
it over and over again, and not to mention when
(01:51):
you have a case or something in the media that
just blows up and managing that, maneuvering that. So welcome,
let's get started. I guess we could just jump right in. Yeah,
Nicki and Tara, if you want to tell me and
tell us, tell our listeners a little bit about you both,
and then we can dive into Gabby's story.
Speaker 3 (02:13):
Sure. Well, I'm Nicki Schmidt. A lot of people know
me buy Nicole, but all my close friends call me Niki.
So I am Gabby's mom and I'm also the president
of Gabby Patito Foundation, and we're just advocates now at
this point. We didn't plan our lives to go in
(02:33):
this direction. However, we have a purpose and our daughter's
light is shining all over the world and we want
to continue her legacy by helping save lives through the
foundation and the work that we do, and I'm hoping that,
you know, if it saves one, we're doing our job,
and I hope it's a lot more than that, and
(02:54):
we're excited to keep going and work together and collaborate
with people all over the world to help change the world.
Speaker 2 (03:00):
Terror you want to jump in, of.
Speaker 4 (03:02):
Course, Jen, thank you so much for having us on.
I'm Gabby's stepmom, bonus mom. I would normally like to say,
Tara Tito. I've been in Gabby's life since she was
a year old, a little over a year, and I
always felt that she was supposed to be in my life.
I was supposed to be in her life. I always
(03:23):
felt that we had this amazing connection. People would even
say that she looked like me a lot of times.
It was a running joke. So but now we are.
I'm the treasurer of the Gabby Potito Foundation, and this
is not something that obviously we plan to do and
be a part of, but we've kind of got thrown
(03:45):
into the mix of being advocates. I never really wanted
to ever be in the public eye, but here we are,
and I'm trying to do that for the better good,
because if we can save a one life, that's one
extra life saved. There's not a lot of resources out there,
and Gabby kind of shine this bright light on this
(04:05):
beast of domestic abuse. So here we are.
Speaker 2 (04:08):
Well, I really I admire both of you because I
can't imagine what you've had to go through, just through
this entire process, and I think what you're doing with
the foundation is just so commendable. Like you said, even
if it's just helping one person, although I'm sure it's
been way more than one, it's worth it, right, It's
(04:28):
worth it's worth everything that you're putting into it. So
I appreciate you as a fellow advocate, as someone who
advocates for families, and I appreciate what you do and
the work that you do. It's I know it's not easy.
I can't imagine what you go through. But again, commendable
and you're so so so appreciated.
Speaker 4 (04:47):
Thank you, thank you.
Speaker 2 (04:49):
You're so welcome. Not going to cry. I'm not going
to cry. I promised myself.
Speaker 1 (04:55):
I was a good cries.
Speaker 2 (04:56):
Actually put Matt Skara on today, so we'll see, we'll
see what happens.
Speaker 4 (05:00):
To have waterproof, always waterproof.
Speaker 2 (05:02):
I know, and I don't I never do it, you know,
and then I tell myself every time I'm going to
get the waterproof, and I don't, you know, because it's not.
Speaker 4 (05:09):
I am a criar, so I waterproof is necessary. I
need waterproof in my life.
Speaker 2 (05:14):
So we can go into talking a little bit about
Gabby's story. Now, I did do an in depth, a
deep dive in Gabby's case that if to our listeners,
you can go back and you can listen to all
the details. We don't need to go through all the specifics,
but if you want to just share a little bit
about Gabby who she was and the amazing things that
(05:35):
have come out of the foundation, that would be that
would be great. I'd love to hear about it, and
I'm sure our listeners would too.
Speaker 3 (05:41):
From your perspective, well, yeah, I mean, Gabby was this
just free spirit. She loved art, she loved life. She
wanted to live every single day to the fullest. And
I wish that we could all say we do that.
I mean most people don't. So I did envy that
a lot about her. Wish that I had, you know,
(06:03):
the energy that she had to do the things that
she did. But I just was so proud of her.
She got to that point where she felt like she
was doing the thing that she loved so much, and
she started to seem she seemed really happy that she
was doing it. I was excited for her, and I
couldn't wait for that trip to end so I could
see her again, because I knew she was gonna be
(06:25):
gone for so long, and even though she lived in Florida,
I just felt like she was so far away. But
we talked almost every day, and she was just having
such a great time. But after everything, I mean, it
just it happened so quickly. I honestly look back and
it feels like it wasn't real. It was a time
after her murder that we I think we were all
(06:48):
kind of detached. I'm sure Terror would agree, like we
had this period of like complete detachment, and through the grief,
we had no idea what to do. I mean, there
were days when I just would just lay in bed
all day long. So even on the outside, I looked
like I was had it all together. I was having
(07:09):
those moments. But we got through it together, the four
of us, and we started the Foundation, and I think
that I think that we're rocking it. I mean, we're
still help us get a grief, a lot and terra.
If you have stuff to add to that.
Speaker 4 (07:23):
Well, Gabby again, I was in our life since she
was a year. She was always a presence. She was
always this bright light. She always came in and she
just she took over. She would take over her room.
Her laugh was just like resignated, like I just I
miss that. That's like the one thing that I missed
the most is her is her laugh. She again, and
(07:45):
she was. She loved to go on adventures. We would
go on vacation when she was younger, and me and
her when we would get to the resort and me
and her would go off on our own and kind
of explore a little bit because we were like we gotta,
we gotta go check this out. We gotta, you know,
like our own littlere within the adventure itself. She was
just she's also a daughter, so she could also be
(08:05):
a royal pain and you know, and drives absolutely crazy,
but she just was amazing. I actually posted something the
other day where it's not just about her needing us.
Sometimes we need them. They help our soul, and she
definitely did that. She would help my soul all the time,
(08:26):
just being just being her, just being the amazing person
she was is. She was a great big sister. She
has three younger brothers and two younger sisters who she
loved and adored. They never fought. I don't know about
Nicky's kids, but her siblings on her dad's side, they
(08:48):
never fought. They her last actually her last text message
well snap, sorry they don't text snap was a picture
of her to Jowie. That was her last known communication
with anybody. And we have the hat that she was wearing,
and we treasure that that moment that he has that. Yeah,
she was just amazing and we miss her so much.
(09:11):
It's it's so difficult. In the beginning, you just so
I always like to have, you know, like I liked
my wine. I was like to have a couple of glasses.
Not that it was an issue, but I was like,
after I could not even have a glass because I
would just lay in bed and cry and never I
couldn't it just couldn't function. I did decide that I
(09:31):
never wanted to be that person and stuck in that
rabbit hole where I just couldn't get out of it.
So starting the foundation and trying to help others really
helped us too, and it helped our healing process. It
gave us something that we could get up to every
day and work on. But I didn't make sure that
I did not want to get stuck in that rabbit
(09:52):
hole where I just couldn't couldn't move. It does happen,
and I allow it to happen, because that's grief. It
comes in way, it comes in different forms. It doesn't
it's not the same for everybody. It doesn't come at
the same it doesn't come at the same force every day.
It's different. But I just learned to write it as
the way that I can.
Speaker 2 (10:12):
Yeah, and that's really all you can do, right is
just to get through the best that you can. And
I think that again, like what you're both doing with
the Foundation is amazing, especially at the time that you're
doing it, but like you said, it's something that has
helped you with your grief, and I think you've done
such an amazing job really embodying Gabby's spirit within the
(10:37):
Foundation because you could just see it. It's just like
you could just see it, you could feel it with
the colors and like the pictures of her, you just
get a really good glimpse into who Gabby was and
like as if you know her, you know, she just
seemed very adventurous and independent. Even when I go on
the website, it's just like wow, like you just get
(10:57):
that vibe like Wow, Gabby was super awesome.
Speaker 1 (11:01):
She was such a cool girl.
Speaker 4 (11:03):
Yeah, she wish she was an awesome chick. Like she
was awesome. She was always go with the flow, like
all right, we're gonna go do that today. Sure it's
from a young age, like all right, like yeah, sure,
let's go, let's go do that. She had everybody wrapped
around her little finger. I everybody wrapped around I mean,
she could get you to do anything. Like So she
(11:25):
was just awesome. She was so cool.
Speaker 3 (11:27):
Yeah, she like knew stuff that I feel like she
was far beyond her years. Her soul was much older
than she was. And like so she did this piece
of art in high school and it said I see
humans but no humanity on it. So like she had
this like kind of deeper feeling about things. I think
(11:49):
that came out in her artwork. But yeah, she was
just just amazing all around, all around. I mean she
was a normal teenager. She was paying the ass, and
we absolutely had our moments, but overall, there was just
a presence about her, just her energy. She was here
to do big things and she couldn't accomplish those big
(12:12):
things here. I think that she's accomplishing them now and
through us we can make it happen. So it's all
her though.
Speaker 4 (12:20):
I feel like she picked us for parents because she
did have a big like a larger purpose than she
could accomplish here in life. So she picked us too
because she knew that we could do the work and
have her guide us.
Speaker 2 (12:35):
Yeah, and that's amazing, It really is amazing. But yeah,
she just you know, I have teenagers myself, just looking
you know, every teenager is different and they have their
their pros and their cons like any other normal human being,
but just from a mom perspective too, Like I would
be so proud. I would be so proud of Gabby
(12:56):
because you just see one thing that I love. Like,
I watched the documentary and I got to see what
really stood out to me was Gabby and her personality
and her independence and how persistent she was to make
her dreams come true. And I guess I saw a
little bit of a spark of like myself in there,
and I was like, wow, like I love this so much,
(13:18):
and the fact it doesn't surprise me that she's making
such a huge impact even after she's gone, you know,
and I think that's just going to continue. And the
foundation and the work that you ladies are doing. I
think Gabby's going to continue guiding you and I think
she continues to do that. I don't think that's ever
going to stop. And I'm just I'm excited to see
what you all continue to do through the foundation and
(13:42):
through Gabby's story. I think it's going to It's really impactful.
You know, you can see it. Even even myself, I
can attest just hearing Gabby's story. There's just something, you know,
there's so many stories out there, especially with domestic violence,
and it's sad. There was definitely a calling there with
Gabby and with your family and what you're doing, and
(14:03):
it's just beautiful to see that there's something really amazing
coming out of such a horrible tragedy.
Speaker 3 (14:09):
So and it's mind boggling how fast it grew and
how big it got, how many people she touched. I mean,
we had the media telling us they never seen anything
like this, the FBI saying they've never seen a story
like this that they couldn't even believe it. We don't
know why our daughter was the one that's chosen for this.
(14:31):
I laugh about it because it's just it's still unbelievable.
You know, you turn on the TV and you see
like your life playing out on it's just it's crazy.
It just doesn't feel real. But it's all for a
higher purpose, and I know that it's saving lives. We
have the stories. I'm editing a video right now for
one of our presentations and it's these women who are
(14:52):
talking about how Gabby saved them and it's just like
awesome to hear that. So it keeps is going, for sure,
because if she died in Vain, then we probably would
be miserable and you know, just in bed all the
time and just living in that horrible state of depression.
And we don't want to do that. We want to
help people.
Speaker 4 (15:11):
And we do have the four of us, so there
are four parents and we do lean on each other.
We lean on each other often. I'm not feeling well
or up to something like Nikki, I'm just I'm done today,
like I'm not going any further, and she's like, I
take the day, Like it's very hard to do that
sometimes because you want to just we have work that
we have to complete, and I'm like, that's funny, but
(15:33):
I'll try.
Speaker 3 (15:35):
When you me the other day, you're like for us,
and I'm like, ha, yeah.
Speaker 4 (15:39):
Hat, that's cute. We try, We try. We've come so far.
I don't think if it was just me and Joe,
I don't think we would have started a foundation. I
don't think we would have ever been able to do
what we're doing as four parents. We all have different backgrounds,
so we're just taking it day by day. We've accomplished
(16:01):
so much so far in the you know, the almost
four years. It's crazy that it's almost four years. It's
almost four years. But we've accomplished a lot, and we're
just going to keep going. And like I said, there's
going to be day that that days that are difficult,
but we're just going to take each day day by
day and try to accomplish what we can accomplish. And again,
it's been working so far. We can't do it all
(16:23):
at once, but we're getting there. We're trying, we're trying.
Speaker 2 (16:26):
So yeah, well, you're doing a fantastic job. If that
means anything. I think you're doing a fantastic job and
getting out there. I mean, you ladies are traveling and
you know your hobbies too, and say hobbies, but you
I know, it's it's all it's the four of you,
and all four of you are amazing. And even that
dynamic is not super common. So it's really cool to
(16:48):
see that you have such a close knit relationship and
that you all can lean on each other and that
you're going through this together. And I see that you
both will travel and then your husbands will travel and
go to events, and that's just it's so cool to
see that it's a family effort and that you're all
working together for Gabby and for the cause and for
the foundation. And I really I admire that. You know,
(17:10):
that's amazing. So because again, it's just not a it's
not a common theme, it's not a common dynamic that
you see within families, especially in tragedies. It just doesn't
it doesn't happen that way often.
Speaker 4 (17:21):
We well, we tried to take care of ourselves too,
even when we go on these trips. Like I mean,
so Joe and Jim were just they were just away together.
They went to South Dakota Rapid City and then they
went to La, so they had too stops and before
they left, we're joking around. I'm like, oh, so it's
going to be the two bold guys going away. I'm
(17:42):
like with the matching tattoos. And they're like, yeah, someone's
going to ask about their matching tattoos and I'm going
to be like, yeah, there are our daughters.
Speaker 3 (17:54):
Well, and then somebody wade an article that somebody wrote
the fathers of Gabby.
Speaker 4 (17:58):
But fathers.
Speaker 5 (18:01):
So well, that's great around because I mean we still
have we still are allowed to joke, We're still allowed
to be happy, We're still allowed to do things, and
that's part of our self care.
Speaker 4 (18:15):
It's funny though, because they went on this trip and
I never put it that way for Nicky and I
like we're going away and saying the moms.
Speaker 2 (18:23):
So, but that's funny.
Speaker 4 (18:27):
We're the moms where the moms, But I never put
it that where the you know, like something else moms.
Speaker 3 (18:36):
I prefer for the record to travel with Tara because
we always find like fun stuffing go on, like well hikes,
you know, but the hikes that are not really out
of breath and.
Speaker 4 (18:50):
For us, but.
Speaker 3 (18:54):
We have a great time. We try to because we
do so many serious things. We're crying, we're talking about
all these serious things, and then we're like, wow, we're
in another state, Like what can we do while we're here?
So we find that that moment to kind of go
and just be where we are, and it's something that
we feel we were guided by Gabby to do because
obviously she wanted to see the whole country and probably
(19:16):
the world eventually, so that's what we want to do.
Speaker 4 (19:18):
So my one of my bucket lists is to visit
every every state in the country, Like that is something
and then I eventually get out of you know, out
of the country and travel the world. But I do
want to see every every state. I would love that.
So I'm almost I'm not. I'm like halfway there, maybe
a little bit more than halfway there. But Gabby is
(19:39):
guiding us and she's got to you got to get
us to different locations. GAVs, can you work on that?
Speaker 3 (19:45):
I was thinking, like Hawaii next, maybe I wouldn't mind.
Speaker 4 (19:50):
I'd like to go to Alaska and Montana. She keeps
telling us that we need to go to Montana.
Speaker 2 (19:55):
So my family in Montana in Great Falls, Oh, my grandmother,
my aunt's out there, it's beautiful.
Speaker 4 (20:04):
That's what I hear, So as I want to get there.
Speaker 3 (20:07):
I think that's next.
Speaker 2 (20:09):
Yeah, absolutely, but yeah, that's that's really cool. And to
kind of touch on having fun and laughing, like laughter
is the best medicine. It really is, and you still
have to be able to enjoy your life and be
able to you know, move forward and you still can
do fun things and Gabby will still be along for
(20:29):
the ride. And I think that's really cool. Do you
guys take like do you do? Because from what I see,
I mean I didn't clearly personally know Gabby, but she
seemed like she was really big and taking video and
documenting and pictures. You guys make sure that when you
do go on trips, like you're taking pictures and documenting everything.
I think that would be really cool to like have that, like, hey, Gab,
(20:51):
look look we're actually documenting.
Speaker 4 (20:54):
Yeah we try, yeah, we try. She was always you know,
she was the photographer show made us take pictures and
I'm grateful that we have those pictures. But yeah, of
course we got to try to get as many pictures
as possible. I think I have like twenty thousand pictures
in my phone right now, So I don't know what
to do with them, but yet it's full.
Speaker 2 (21:15):
So that's the challenge is figuring it out, is creating
like those those either virtual scrapbooks or scrap books of
some sorts, you can keep them all organized.
Speaker 4 (21:24):
But she was she was very good at organizing that.
So she was very good at we we have the
files of all of her photos.
Speaker 3 (21:30):
You would be very happy with her organization. Skilled tend
you'd probably like this girl is amazing.
Speaker 4 (21:36):
Yeah, I would, I would love it.
Speaker 2 (21:39):
I would absolutely love it. But I think that kind
of leads us into a great time to transition into
talking about your experience, just in terms of the media,
Like how I mean it was amazing, it's still is amazing.
How quickly Gabby's story like blew up and it got
(22:01):
out there and people were interacting and talking about it,
and it brought up harder discussions about domestic violence and
about you know, silent things that weren't seen or signs
and all of those things. But I want to hear
about your personal experience because I think that's something that
and I'm sure you can attest to it. It's not
(22:21):
something that you really get the opportunity to talk about
often is kind of how that affected you and your
family and what you all had to go through with that,
And even now, it's got to be hard. Like you're
basically well, very well known and famous, like everyone knows
Gabby's story, you have the Netflix documentary going out, you know,
(22:43):
getting approached things like that, so it's like, I'm sure
it's life changing.
Speaker 3 (22:48):
Yeah, it's like I mentioned before, you turn when you
turn on like Hulu or something, you don't expect to
see like your daughter's face on the screen. And it
gets me every time still even though because I'm you know,
when I'm trying to live my normal life and then
something pops up, I'm like, oh, that's right, like this
this is our life. But it was. It was a whirlwind.
(23:10):
It was a real whirlwind. And dealing with things now
is like when the documentary came out and I know
we talked about this, it felt like we went through
it all over again because it was the same kind
of frenzy. It was. People were freaking out and like
calling us wanting to interview us all the time, and
it was like traumatizing for a little bit there after.
(23:31):
But we knew that documentary was going to be powerful
and help people, so you know, and luckily it was
us we helped guide that documentary. It wasn't one of
those that many people out there have made random, random
things without us. Lifetime movie, we were no, we had
no part in that. It's fictional, completely fictional. They just
(23:53):
used her name. But yeah, it's been really weird. Yeah
I'm sure feels similar.
Speaker 4 (24:01):
Yeah, yeah, it doesn't make sense. You can't wrap your
head around it. It's just something that it has helped
us because of how much we've been in the media.
It has helped the foundation. I think it has helped
bring more awareness for domestic violence and for missing people.
It just it's hard to understand that it's Gabby, but
(24:23):
it has changed our life. I mean, life is not
normal anymore. It's totally different. My children's lives, which as
much as we've tried to keep them out of the media, unfortunately,
my older son has my husband's name. He is a junior,
so people are always going to know his name. Even
(24:43):
the kids in school they know who he is. So
he's got a new group of girlfriends that always come
over and they want bracelets and they're like, we watch
the documentary. They're so sweet. But our life is never
going to be the same. It's never going to go back.
I think if you lose a child, it's never going
to be the same after that for everybody, if dealing
(25:04):
with the media or not. The media in the beginning,
I think the media was. Yes, they were pushy, they
wanted the story, they wanted to talk to us, but
people were also respectful a lot of times. I mean, yeah,
you have the fake ones that put the story and
just bless it out there, but the main people that
would interview us were very respectful. We made some great
(25:27):
friends within different news organizations like Brian Atton we we
love him. Then there's jb we love him as him
as well. So we did make some great friends. If
we go down the rabbit hole to listen to like
to read social media, which happened sometimes a lot of people.
(25:50):
If anybody made a negative comment, there was other people
supporting us and would attack that. We didn't even have
to go on there. People would just be there for us.
The hardest part of the media is well, I don't
like the spotlight, but I think it was some things
were just retriggering and re traumatizing, especially when his family,
(26:11):
his lawyer specifically would come out and say things that
was really hurtful, like why are you you don't want
to talk about certain things to help us to find
Gabby in the beginning, but you're going to come over
and you're going to say things about us that are
untrue or just hurtful, like we are victims here, our
(26:33):
daughter was a victim. Your client is not, Your clients
are not. And that that was I think the most
triggering part of dealing.
Speaker 3 (26:42):
With yeah, everything, Yeah, that whole beginning part worth like
their lawyer making comments all the time, like we it
just made us physically sick, Like we were just sick
all the time listening to their garbage, and we just
tried to do our best to maintain our composure. And
we knew that it was important just to find Gabby,
(27:03):
and then we knew it was important to advocate and
talk about, you know, domestic violence and what happened to
Gabby and how important that story is to help others,
and how we could advocate for missing persons, and that
was what was important to us. You know, we had
to stay away from all that other, you know stuff
(27:23):
with them because you know, we went through the whole
court case and everything and when that was over finally
after the depositions, and like we just you know, we
ended it and settled it out. Because we got our depositions,
we all felt a huge weight come off our shoulders
and we were We saw people disappointed in the media.
They wanted to see us go to trial with them,
(27:45):
but we couldn't. We couldn't do it.
Speaker 4 (27:48):
We could have.
Speaker 3 (27:48):
Lost, We could have very easily lost, and we would
have had to pay for their late fee. I mean,
there's all kinds of crazy laws. And I didn't know
about this. I mean because I was like from day one, Oh,
We're going to take them to the end, and then
I realized that we couldn't do that. But we did
get our answers, and that's what we wanted the whole time.
Speaker 4 (28:06):
Yeah, yeah, we.
Speaker 3 (28:07):
Were just you know, the media frenzy was nuts and
we are. I think that we learned so much and
one of our one of the things that we do
as a foundation when we talk to families is help
them through that process as well. We you know, I
get a lot of questions like who do I deal with?
How do I answer these questions?
Speaker 4 (28:24):
Who? You know?
Speaker 3 (28:25):
I tell people like you can't trust everyone there's certain
people you shouldn't work with. I mean, the New York
Post put my address in the paper. Come on the
digital article, like they put our address out there, and
I'm like, why would you do that. I don't even
know why you would do that.
Speaker 1 (28:42):
So and not that couldn't find it and that's so dangerous.
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 4 (28:47):
Yeah, well, our family, our family was docked, so they
put because they can get your information, they put it
out on a TikTok and then they said that my
son was this guy in Italy that antagonized another TikToker
and the guy wound up doing a TikTok live and
(29:08):
committed suicide. And they said it was my son that
did this, and they put us up and I mean,
I had to leave my house. I couldn't say. I
was like, we were getting death threats beyond like so many,
Like I think we wound up getting at least two
to three thousand death threats. The TikTok had over like
(29:30):
twelve million views on it. There was twelve thousand comments
on it. One of my son's friends was going in
on that you got the wrong family, like this is
Gabby Potito's brother. You have the wrong, the wrong kid,
Like he didn't do this, he's a minor.
Speaker 3 (29:46):
This was a mistaken identity.
Speaker 4 (29:48):
It was a mistaken Yeah, my gosh, but I don't
know if it was or it wasn't, or if I don't,
I'm a little weary that it was a mistaken identity.
I don't one hundred percent believe that they did get
our information, but they everybody's information is public, but they
just put it in one TikTok and was like this
(30:08):
is then blasted it and blasted it, and a revenge
type of threat.
Speaker 3 (30:14):
Been accusing him of accusing him having somebody take their
own life. That's that's awful, Like it was awful. That's
the poor kid is so traumatized already and now.
Speaker 4 (30:26):
So and in the beginning, my husband actually got death
threats also because yeah, I guess at Gabby's service, he
told you know, this was before we really knew anything
about domestic abuse or domestic you know, we we weren't
really well versed in it yet. I mean, it just
happened again. It was at Gabby's service, and he had
(30:49):
told people to leave, just if you're an abusive relationship,
get out and leave. And women were leaving where people
were leaving and their significant other, their abusers was not
happy about it, so they were threatening him because of it.
Now we know is to say to get out safely,
(31:09):
but in the beginning it was a part. That part
was difficult. That part was hard. We did make Gabby's
service live and we wanted people to see it and
that was not an easy decision. So to have that
backlash that was that was difficult to deal with. That's
just one of the negative things. There's so many positive
things dealing with the media. It has helped us so much.
(31:31):
Like I said, if we could save one life, that's
that's all. And we know that Gabby has saved many
more than one. And that's that's why we're here. That's
why we're doing it these because of Gabby stories. Those
are those are the ones we want to hear. We
want to know that Gabby's still still still up there,
you know, rocking it and guiding us. So that's that's
(31:53):
the good part.
Speaker 2 (31:54):
Thank you for shutting light on some of the negative
aspects too, because a lot of times people don't see that,
they don't see what you've had to go through as
well to get to this point. But you all stayed
strong and you stayed together as a family and you
got through it. And I think that speaks volumes. That
says a lot too, you know that. Okay, Yeah, it
(32:14):
was really tough and it really sucked that we had
to go through that. But we're here and Gabby's making
a difference. Her story's making a difference. It's touching people's lives.
It's saving women's lives, men too, you know, men go
through it too. It's saving people's lives, and that's the
most important thing. But I do think it's really important
too to shed light on your experiences, both negative and positive,
(32:36):
with the media and with everything that you've gone through
as a family, because it's not it's not something that's seen.
You know, everyone just sees what they see on you know,
the news or in some of these documentaries or in
the Lifetime movie that has nothing to do with you guys.
But I think it's important to give that time and energy.
(33:01):
It's important because there's lots of families out there too
that go through this, and man, they don't realize that,
you know, can't it does get better, keep keeping on
and that there are resources and there are you know,
foundations and things out there that can help that they're
not alone. So and there's lots of other advocates out
(33:21):
there as well that are willing to help, you know,
like Jeweles and I and what we do and so
many others, so many others. But yeah, thank you for
sharing that, because I think it's important.
Speaker 4 (33:33):
I think that if you are going through it, and
you are in the midst of it, there is a
light at the tunnel. Take your days, take your good
days with your bad days. It's okay to disassociate. Try
not to get stuck in that. Try to be mindful,
try to be busy, try to do it's best for you,
and just ride those ways. The rabbit holes are very
(33:56):
easy to get stuck down, but try to be mindful
to say of them as much as possible, because that's
that's the hard part. Dealing with the media, if you
is great because if your level one goes missing, you
need the media, like you want the media to try
to help you to get their story out. So you
try to have to want to utilize that as much
(34:18):
as possible. And if you can't get the media's attention,
try to start your own Facebook pages or your own
or you can reach out to us. We have a
Facebook page that we put missing flyers up. There's also
the Aware Foundation, So there are other resources out there.
You just have to know who to go to. You
(34:41):
have to be careful of the bad ones out there
that might use your story just for their own personal gain,
and then some of them actually go after it. I
don't think we've had we had that as much, but
I know that there are stories that they do go
after the victims' families and that's not right. So that's
what you got to be careful of.
Speaker 3 (35:01):
Yeah, yeah, everything Tara said. And if you go to
Gabby Potato Foundation dot org, you can go to the
find help button, or you can go to the Alliance
and there's some resources under there. And one of the
things we have on there is what to do if
a loved one goes missing. There's kind of like a checklist.
There's like a printable PDF checklist to go through. How
to have a good relationship with law enforcement, how to
(35:25):
have good relationship with the media, how to talk to
the media, what you should and shouldn't do and say
when it comes to I notice a lot of people
will put their phone numbers out right on their Facebook
public Facebook page and they're looking for someone, and I'm like,
I'll reach out to them and I just say, hey,
just heads up. You know, you may not want to
put your personal phone number out there. I know you want,
(35:46):
you're desperate and you want to find some answers, but
make sure you put like the tip line, whatever police
officer you're working with, let them take care of that,
or you know, make a make up an email or something,
but don't put your phone number there. So a lot
of people do these things that they don't know. They
don't know in the beginning, they think they're doing the
right thing. But we were very lucky, we were guided
(36:09):
in the beginning and we kind of did everything mostly right.
I think we made a few mistakes, but nothing really bad.
So we like to do help people get through those times.
As far as domestic violence goes, safety planning is key.
There's a lot of things also on our website, a
lot of resources, and we just want people to know
(36:31):
they're not alone. We can't personally talk to everybody, we
can't personally help every person, but we know a lot
of people, we know a lot of resources, and we
can make connections. So I mean, just yesterday I got
a text from an advocate who was like, this is
a missing person's advocate and they reached out and they said, Hey,
(36:53):
there's this woman reached out to me, her daughter needs
help in another state. I said, I happen to know
an advocate in that state. Let me ask her. And
then I made this connection and got this girl cooked
up with a detective that actually cares. And I mean
just getting people to the right resources and sometimes we
can help more on the more personal level that way.
But yeah, is something Yeah, just reach out, Just.
Speaker 4 (37:15):
Reach out, Just reach out. I mean, we might not
be able to help you, but maybe we can guide
you in the right direction. There's things that we just
cannot do. Unfortunately, we can't really give legal advice, but
maybe we'd be able to direct you in an area
that you could get something going back to if your
loved one does go missing. What we did we focused
(37:38):
on Gabby. We focused on just finding Gabby. I think
that is an important thing. Focus on your loved one.
If you start making accusatory statements and they're not true,
they can actually come after you, So that is something
that is really important. So just try to focus as
much on your loved one as possible. Thankfully, we had
(38:00):
super Ric who is an attorney who did help us.
It was a family friend of Nikki's, so thankfully we
had him to help guide us. And was like, no,
you need to just focus on Gabby because you know us. Yeah,
because if Brian didn't, if it was if it wasn't Brian,
and I mean, now we know that it was that
(38:21):
took Gabby's life, But if it wasn't and we're saying
that we know it was him, we know it was him,
then he could actually he could have came after us legally.
So that's that's very important when it comes to domestic violence.
We are trying to make as many connections as possible.
We do like to go speak at schools, universities. We're
(38:43):
going to We're going to go speak at a high
school in September and I'm super super excited about it.
And we spoke at another college just recently. They reached out.
She was amazing at one of the students there. She
reached out to us and we were like, yeah, we'll
be this. These college students are amazing and they are
(39:05):
they want they want this information. They want to know
how to keep them safe and how to protect themselves.
And there's different programs, there's different community programs, and you
can go to our alliance, the Gabby Potato Alliance, and
we're trying to connect with as many resources as possible.
So if you need a community based problem, you can
try to go to our site and hopefully find one
(39:26):
that maybe fits you, fits your needs. Same thing with
if your loved one goes missing. We have other missing
organizations on there because you want to spread it out
as much as possible. So we're trying. We're trying to
make all these connections. That's why we started the alliance
so we can We're not one HU.
Speaker 3 (39:46):
Yeah, we can't reinvent the wheel, and we're not experts
in anything. We've learned a lot, but we are certainly
not experts. But you know, organizations like one Love and
then the Expect Respect Program out of Texas, and you
know there's just the Aware Foundation. You know, there's all
these amazing organizations out there that have already been doing
(40:08):
things for so long, like we just want to be
partners with them, like we're all working together for the
greater good. I make phone calls every time I'm like
I don't know what to do in this situation, I
know who I can call for this, and it's great
to have that, to have allies out there. We can't
all live in our silos and think that we can
change the world on our own, so collaborative efforts. Communities
(40:28):
need to come together and work together for the greater good.
If there's a missing loved a missing person in your community,
even if it's not your loved one, think about how
you can help that family. You know, go to their vigils,
share their flyers, sign their petitions. You know, there's just
a lot you can do to help family, and even
if you're not directly connected. But yeah, we just you know,
(40:52):
that's what we do, collaboration and togetherness, and I think
we can all change the world together. So I don't
think that's a goal that's not attainable. I really think
we can do it.
Speaker 4 (41:02):
So there's even another there's this other program that we
learned about and they're out of Pennsylvania. It's Purple one
and it's a four hour course. You can take it.
If you are a store owner, you can take it.
It's really like it's a bystander program. So a lot
of times if you are being abused, your abuser might
(41:24):
only allow you to go to one store, and how
do you get resources if you're only allowed to go
to this one store or two stores. Now, if you
go to this one store, they might have an advocate.
It's not an advocate, but it's an advocate for an advocate,
so they might be able to connect you to resources.
So if you take this program and reach out to
the TV organization in your community, you guys can work
(41:46):
together where you're just a bystander and you're like, well
I can I can help you. It's a four hour program.
They can take it and then try to help people
in their community that way. So there's other different ways
that you can help. You don't have to be an advocate.
I mean, I'm not going to be a police officer.
I'm not going to law school. So there's there's other
ways that you can try to help and bring people
(42:09):
together and bring the resources to the victim.
Speaker 3 (42:14):
And we actually partner with them, and we're trying to
make Purple one national thing for communities because anybody can
take it. Anybody can be a good bystander and know
what to do in a situation if they're seeing like
for example, the guy that called nine on one when
Gabby and Brian were fighting. You know, he did the
right thing. He called them in one. He gave all
the right information. Some people might want to intervene, and
(42:36):
there's scenarios on how if you do think it's safe
to intervene, how you should do that, what you should say.
So it's a really great program, and it's also great
for people who own businesses, so they can become a
purple dot business. So and a victim knows I can
go in here and I can get connected to services
by somebody in this business. It's really really cool programs.
(42:59):
So that's how our website as well. You can go
check that out at leaks right to their Purple one
do org website. And yeah, there's just so many good
programs out there and we're just going to try and
collect them all and put them in one place on
our website so people can find these resources through us,
because they do come for Gabby and they might need help,
so they can find them there.
Speaker 4 (43:21):
So actually this wasn't our idea to do this. We
had a tech company that came and then they came
to us and they came to this with this idea
and they helped us Loop Solutions. They are amazing. They've
also the CEOs had her unfortunate running with domestic violence,
(43:42):
so it's personal. It is personal to her. She has
she's just she helped design our website. That's like when
you see all a Gabby, she helped do that. So
they came to us, they were like, we have this
amazing idea because people do. Gabby has brought people to
People do come to our site looking for something, so
(44:05):
it's again it was their idea. They're amazing. So they
helped us build our website.
Speaker 3 (44:09):
And yeah, and it's still being still being worked on
and added to so if people come there and they're
not finding exactly the information yet that they're looking for,
it will be added at some point. We are adding
more and more. We have our own programs we're adding.
My husband started ah a program for first responders. It's
(44:29):
called Unseen Advocates. It's for you know, nine on one operators,
em ts, firefighters, paramedics, you know, all the police officers,
all the first responders that could use this extra training.
And we feel like they have an opportunity to be
an advocate out out on the street and somebody that
a you know, a survivor might be willing to talk
(44:51):
to because they're in the back of an ambulance and
they finally have some privacy, so they might want to
reveal something. So training them on trauma informed how to
how to connect them to services. So that's another big
program of ours that we're really excited about. And he's
already started doing it and it's getting a lot of
good feedback. So yeah, we're busy, very We're very busy.
Speaker 2 (45:16):
That's exciting though. That's amazing that it's even expanding into
other programs.
Speaker 4 (45:21):
That's so cool.
Speaker 2 (45:23):
I love that. I wanted to give you both the
opportunity to share some exciting news. I know you have
one really big exciting secret that you've been keeping, so
I'd love to give you the opportunity to talk about that.
And that is drum roll.
Speaker 4 (45:38):
So we are writing a book. We have a book deal,
so it should come out in about I guess a
little over a year, maybe this time next year. It
depends on certain things, but be on the lookout. It's
all of four parents. We all dealt with the same situation,
(46:02):
the same thing, and we are all had a different
experience with our trauma, our grief and even dealing with
the media. Every each and every one of us had
something different. So yeah, we're excited. I feel like it's
going to be really cathartic. It's going to get a
lot of stuff out that maybe that we couldn't fit
(46:23):
into the documentary. So yeah, it couldn't I couldn't been.
It couldn't have been. It couldn't fit us all in there.
So m it gives us all the voice equally.
Speaker 3 (46:35):
Yeah, we're we're super excited. I think it's going to
be an amazing experience for us to each have our
own voice. We all experienced something different through the process. Also,
going back to raising Gabby, how who were who are
we as individuals? How did we raise Gabby together?
Speaker 4 (46:54):
How?
Speaker 3 (46:55):
You know, this is the whole, the whole kind of
like life story, and then how we through what we
went through and came together and formed the foundation and
are still working together. I mean, hopefully by February of
next year it's ready. It might be a little bit
more than that, but we're we're excited, and I know
it's gonna be a lot of work and it's probably
gonna be like blood, sweat and tears, but we will
(47:18):
we will do it until we feel that it's.
Speaker 4 (47:19):
Ready and right.
Speaker 3 (47:20):
And I am manifesting now that we're gonna have a
New York Times bestseller, So let's do it.
Speaker 2 (47:26):
Yes, we're coming into agreement right now. It's going to happen.
Speaker 1 (47:29):
It's you're putting it out there, It's going to happen.
Speaker 2 (47:34):
That's that's amazing. Congratulations, I know that's going to be.
I'm excited. I can't wait to read it. I'm I'm
gonna I'm definitely going to be running to the part.
Speaker 3 (47:43):
I can't wait to read all the other All the
other presents really.
Speaker 2 (47:48):
Well. And I love that it's going to be from
each of your perspectives because that's so important because you
all are different people and you had your own experiences
and I just love how it's where you guys came
to where you are now. It's such an incredible story,
it really is, and it's your story, and it's your
(48:09):
story to tell. So what better way to do that
in a book? Right?
Speaker 4 (48:12):
Yeah, you get all of you gets so much fun
in the book.
Speaker 3 (48:17):
Yeah, it's more like a tell all right, Like you
can just say what you want. It's your voice, and
you know you'll write it in a way that it
makes you feel comfortable. You don't regret saying it the
wrong way because you're on video or something, and it's
you say it the way you want to say it. So, yes,
this is amazing.
Speaker 2 (48:38):
Well, I'm really excited for you both, and I can't
wait to see all of the endeavors that you continue
to do and accomplish. And I'm just really blessed to
call you new friends. And yeah, I'd love to have you,
ladies back on whenever you're available and chat more. I
think this was such a great conversation. I think it'll
be really eye opening to a lot of our listeners too,
(49:00):
to hear a different side and to hear your perspectives
on the media and you know, running the nonprofit and
what goes on behind the scenes. I think that's really
important and really special. Is there anything else you ladies
wanted to share before we end it?
Speaker 4 (49:16):
Behind you always be kind, There's no reason I'm mind.
Speaker 3 (49:19):
Gabby shirt, must be a.
Speaker 4 (49:21):
Nice, must be a nicer person.
Speaker 3 (49:23):
There you go, that's Gabby's actual quote. So it doesn't
get any simpler than that, right, Just be nicer?
Speaker 4 (49:30):
And I love that tik tak. It's hysterical it's a
little screechy voice. I love it. That's great.
Speaker 2 (49:40):
Well, thank you Nikki and Tara for joining me today.
I really appreciate your time. It has been a complete
pleasure having you both on Yes, and thank you all
for tuning in so much. Thank you for listening to
Tara and Nicky's story, and make sure to go follow
make sure to go check out the Gabby Potito Foundation.
I'll make sure I have all of the links and
(50:02):
ways to connect with Nikki and Tara in the show
notes below. Well, thank you all so much and we'll
catch you next time.
Speaker 4 (50:10):
Thank you, thank you.
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