True Crimes Against Wine

True Crimes Against Wine

Celebrities can be talented, sure, but should they really be making wine? Join Judges Topher and Rachel as they use their oenological savvy and pop culture deep cuts to answer that very question. After drinking all the evidence and sorting their way through red herrings, they will determine whether some of Hollywood and music's biggest stars are, in fact, guilty of True Crimes Against Wine.

Episodes

July 14, 2025 17 mins

Hey there! Welcome to another side-splitting episode of True Crimes Against Wine. Today, we're diving headfirst into the juicy details of the Orlando Bloom and Katy Perry saga. Ever wondered about their on-and-off romance? Or the story behind THAT paddleboard picture that Topher just can't get enough of? Well, look no further!

Expect a rollercoaster of laughs as we veer off into hilarious tangents, from the mysterious mechanics of ...

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Hey friends! In this episode, we're diving deep into the complexities of tipping culture in the United States. It's more than just a simple thank you for good service; it's a hotly debated topic that brings up questions about fair pay, corporate responsibility, and good old American capitalism. 

Join us as we share laughs and stories from the service industry trenches. From the nuances of restaurant tipping to how much you should l...

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Hey there, fellow true crime and wine enthusiasts!  Dive into this adventurous episode with Topher and I as we unravel our wild animal encounters that range from hilariously chaotic to heart-pounding moments. While recounting our tales, prepare for a few laughs, some unexpected twists, and a touch of suspense. And yes, there's a stingray involved in a story you won't soon forget! Plus, find out what happens when animal lovers cross...

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Hey there, wine lovers!  Ever stared at a glass of wine and wondered what to say about it? Join in as we dive into the basics of wine tasting, where flavor exploration becomes a fun, stress-free experience. Whether you're nosing a Pinot Noir or pondering the playfulness of a wine at a picnic, we've got the tips to guide you, complete with a handy cheat—oops! I mean, help sheet to make sense of it all.

Discover how three simple flav...

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Hey there! Dive into our latest episode as we chat about crafting fantastical and fun D&D campaigns you never knew you needed. From exploring the vibrant world under the sea with all its mythical creatures to discovering hidden realms within your mundane office space, we’ve got creative juices flowing.

Join us as we brainstorm epic campaigns, including a thrilling podcast interruption leading to a mission of judge-like heroics,...

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Hey friends! Welcome to another wild ride with "True Crime Against Wine." Today, Judge Rachel and Judge Topher spill the tea (or should I say wine?) on how climate change is shaking things up in the wine world! 

Our buddy Noah's question takes us on a whirlwind tour of vineyard challenges, from awkward frosts to raging wildfires. It’s a bumpy ride for those grapes, and we’re here to share the highs and toasting lows these winemaker...

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Hey there! Ever wondered what wine your favorite characters from Game of Thrones would sip on during their downtime? In this wild and witty episode, we're diving into just that with a fun sidebar conversation!

Join us as we hilariously match the iconic personalities of Jon Snow, Daenerys Targaryen, Cersei Lannister, and more to wines that capture their essence. Whether it's a cozy Pinot Noir for everyone's favorite brooding hero or...

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May 26, 2025 105 mins

DEFENDANT: The Sims

EVIDENCE: Rex Hill Sims Valley Pinot Noir

SCENE OF THE CRIME: Henford-on-Bagley and other locations

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Hey there, fellow wine and game enthusiasts! 🎉 Join us as we wrap up a delightful season of True Crime Against Wine in what can only be described as a bittersweet farewell (but fear not, we'll be back with even more surprises next season!). This ...

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Hey there! Ready for a fun ride through the world of "Severance" with a glass in hand?  In this episode, Judge Topher takes on a quirky challenge by exploring the perfect beverage matches for both the 'innie' and 'outie' versions of your favorite characters from the hit series "Severance." 

From Mark's whiskey melancholy to Helly R's rebellious margaritas, we dive deep into what makes each character tick—and sip! It's a mix of humo...

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DEFENDANT: Kevin Hart

 

EVIDENCE: Gran Coramino Cristalino Reposado Tequila (it is silver because it is clear, Fact Checker doesn't always know everything)

 

SCENE OF THE CRIME: Jalisco, Mexico

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Hello, friends! Welcome to another tantalizing episode of True Crimes Against Wine. Picture this—you’re stepping into our cozy podcast, where we love to escape the chaos of ...

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Hey folks, welcome back to another chit-chat session with us! Today, we're diving deep into the swirling controversies surrounding celebrated author Neil Gaiman. The allegations are heavy, and we're here trying to make sense of consuming art from someone whose personal life has faced serious scrutiny.

We explore the tough questions - can you truly separate an artist's work from their wrongdoings? It's a journey of personal choice i...

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DEFENDANT: White Lotus

EVIDENCE: White Lotus Makgeolli

SCENE OF THE CRIME: An Exclusive Resort Near You

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Hey friends! Welcome to another entertaining episode of True Crimes Against Wine. Grab a glass and join us as we whisk you away into the captivating world of the White Lotus – where luxury meets underhanded alliances and unexpected twists!

 

We’re di...

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Welcome back, dear friends, to another hilarious episode of True Crimes Against Wine, where we dive into the world of snacks, accompanied by some unexpected and wild flavors! With our guest Hermes briefly making his mischievous presence known, we tackle Judge Rachel’s burning question from our listener, Mae, about favorite potato chips. Join us as we indulge in a spirited discussion of kettle-cooked versus ridged chips, reveal emb...

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DEFENDANT: Kylie Minogue EVIDENCE: Kylie Prosecco SCENE OF THE CRIME: Veneto, Italy/Melbourne, Australia -- Hey there, mate! Join us as we uncork a delightful rosé Prosecco and dive into the bubbly world of Kylie Minogue. We get chatty about everything from Prosecco's fizz to pop sensation Kylie, and even manage to sprinkle in some fun pop culture tidbits. It's an easy-going, laugh-filled episode you won't want to miss! So grab a g...

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Hey there! Ready to dive into the delicious madness that is Cracker Barrel? We've got a fun episode lined up that’s all about nostalgia, the scrumptious joy of hash brown casserole, and even a little road trip down memory lane. Imagine a place where the fried okra is crunchy, the rocking chairs are ready for serious lounging, and you never quite beat the peg game but always give it a darn good shot. Join us as we chat about our fa...

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March 31, 2025 103 mins

DEFENDANT: Emily in Paris EVIDENCE: Lillet Blanc SCENE OF THE CRIME: Paris --

Bonjour, mes amis! Dive into the delightful world of 'True Crimes Against Wine' where we take a stylish detour from our usual libations. Join us as we uncover the tantalizing truth behind aperitifs and their bitter companions, digestifs, with our special focus on the delightful Lillet Blanc. We reminisce about thrilling Parisian adventures while sipping o...

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Hey there, friend! Get ready to giggle as we unwrap a delightful email from Tina in Greenland. She charms us with tales of yo-yo prowess and poses a fun question that gets us all sharing our most useless, yet totally entertaining, skills. Spoiler: burping on command and NY Times crosswords might just make the cut!

Join us for some laughs, hidden talents, and the joy of sharing stories across tundras.

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March 17, 2025 103 mins

DEFENDANT: Judge Rachel EVIDENCE: A Broken Bottle of Manos Special Edition Clue Cabernet Sauvignon SCENE OF THE CRIME: The Murder Shed --

Hey there.

Welcome back to another episode of True Crimes Against Wine! This week, we're diving into the mystery edition of our beloved podcast, where the unknown reigns supreme. Will we stay on topic? Who knows! But one thing's for sure, the journey will be full of laughs and tangents!

Today, we...

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Hey there, lovely listeners! Welcome back to another fun-filled episode of True Crime Against Wine. This time, we're diving into the whimsical world of wedding planning - from the exciting (and sometimes exhausting) hunt for the perfect dress to the delightful details of Topher's attire.

Join us as we share laughs and stories about choosing the perfect bridal gown with a colorful veil twist, finding autumn-inspired accessories, and...

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March 3, 2025 120 mins

DEFENDANT: RuPaul EVIDENCE: House of Love Canned Cocktails SCENE OF THE CRIME: The WerqRoom -- Hey there! Ready for some fun? In this episode, we step away from the usual somber crime stories and dive into the vibrant world of drag with a side of canned cocktails. Join us as we explore the quirky and colorful House of Love cocktails by none other than RuPaul! We'll chat about the delightful nuances of each drink, from pomegranate l...

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