October 1, 2024 • 40 mins
In Episode 23 of True Tales by Disability Advocates, hosts MsBoye, Jennifer McKinney, and Adam Griebel welcome storyteller, actor, dancer, and friend Juan Munoz. Juan shares with MsBoye touching and humorous stories about his friendships, his childhood, and his enduring love with his late wife Susie. They discuss his journey as a dancer and his involvement with Actual Lives Austin Theater Group. Juan's reflections on love and loss offer a poignant exploration of his life and relationships. He opens up with vulnerability & honesty, about the challenges and blessings he encountered in his life. Listen to hear how Juan's radical decision to embrace dance and his unwavering bond with Susie shaped his extraordinary journey and have become the foundations for his future adventures.
Guest Bio
Juan Munez, born in Santa Maria, California, is a storyteller, actor, and certified dance instructor. Passionate about inclusive dance, Juan initially focused on teaching dance to individuals of all abilities. His journey later took him to Austin, Texas, where he performed with the Actual Lives Austin Theater Group and shared poignant, often humorous stories about his experiences. A devoted person of faith, Juan advocates for religious communities to be inclusive and accessible. His life reflects a deep commitment to community, connection, and creativity, showing how challenges can spark advocacy and the desire to build empathy and understanding through storytelling. His enduring dedication to his late wife Susie and their shared adventures exemplify a life richly lived with love and resilience.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Kristen Gooch (00:09):
Welcome to True Tales by Disability Advocates
Podcast, authentic voices ofpeople thriving with
disabilities, where individualsuse the art of storytelling to
change the world.
John Beer (00:22):
The True Tales by Disability Advocates Podcast is
produced by Art Spark Texas,Speaking Advocates Program.
The free virtual training isopen to people of all
disabilities, no matter whereyou live.
Kamand Alaghehband (00:35):
Keep listening to hear how life's
challenges can spark a desire tospeak out, and Advocate for
yourselves and others.
MsBoye (00:50):
Hello, you're listening to The True Tales by Disability
Advocates Podcast.
Changing the world one story ata time.
This is the show where advocatesharness the power of
storytelling to build communitywith their peers and develop
empathy in others.
Hello, everyone, I'm MsBoye.
Jennifer (01:09):
I'm Jennifer McKinney,
Adam (01:11):
I'm Adam Griebel,
MsBoye (01:12):
and we are your hosts for season three.
Hi, I'm MsBoye, and, um, I'm thehost for this, Episode 23, Lucky
in Friendship, Love and Life.
And I am here with Juan Munoz,who is a storyteller, an actor,
(01:39):
a dancer, and I'm very happy tosay, friend of mine And like me,
he met a girl and traveled allthe way across the country to be
with her.
Uh, I am really happy to be ableto have this chat, chat with
Juan, I've missed him.
But now he's in Austin thisweek, so, we're going to have a
(01:59):
little chat and he's going tobring us, he's got some stories
that we're going to share withyou.
Uh, first of all, welcome Juanand, yeah, thanks for doing this
with us.
Juan (02:12):
Thank you MsBoye, um, I'm real honored to be here.
MsBoye (02:25):
You know, I remember when we first met, um, one of
the first things you told meabout yourself was that you were
a dancer and that you liked toteach, you, you were teaching
men dance classes for men.
Juan (02:40):
Yep.
MsBoye (02:41):
That's one of your passions right?
Juan (02:43):
Yes.
Umm, I took a little course andI'm a certified dance
instructor.
Umm...
MsBoye (03:04):
So, you took training to become a certified dance
instructor.
Juan (03:09):
Yes.
MsBoye (03:10):
And why did you particularly want to work with
men?
Juan (03:15):
Well, it wasn't men, it was all different abilities.
MsBoye (03:28):
Oh, so at first you were interested in dance for folks
with all different abilities,right?
So it's inclusive, improviseddance that anyone can do, but
it's only later that you starteddoing groups for men.
Juan (03:43):
Yeah.
MsBoye (03:44):
You know, um, that's a pretty cool, pretty radical
thing for you to do, you know,because a lot of guys,
especially around our age, yourage, my age, I'm older than you,
but, um, you know, guys our agedidn't get to dance, right?
I mean, dance just wasn't a guything to do when we were growing
(04:05):
up.
Let alone a kid with adisability who had a habit of
falling down all the time.
(Chuckles) In a way, in a way,you choosing to dance and teach
dance was, is a very radicalthing to do.
Juan (04:21):
Yeah.
It was fun.
MsBoye (04:25):
It was fun.
Juan (04:26):
Yeah.
MsBoye (04:27):
Yeah, I've seen you dance, it's beautiful.
Juan (04:31):
Thank you.
MsBoye (04:31):
You're so welcome.
Uh, I think we should listen toyour first two pieces that were
written and performed, um, for,for Actual Lives Austin.
Are you ready?
Juan (04:43):
Yeah.
MsBoye (04:46):
Brilliant! I can't wait to hear them.
Um, I want to tell everybodythat usually in the show, we
have guests read one longerstory, but we're changing things
up this episode.
Juan, Celia, and I have puttogether shorter pieces, and
we've separated them into threecategories Friendship, Luck, and
Love.
This first section is about thepower of friendships, especially
(05:10):
Juan's friendships with otherguys.
It also shows how, you Juanembraced being a rule breaking,
radical type of guy, even froman early age.
Juan (05:28):
Hi my name is Juan Munez Um, I'm gonna read some things.
McDonald's, I'm loving it! WhenI was a kid, I had an older
(05:51):
friend named Del.
He worked at the Boys Club.
He took me under his wing.
Alan (06:04):
"Hey Juan, wanna go eat at McDonalds?!"
Juan (06:07):
Do you mean eat there or take it out to the car?"
Alan (06:14):
"We're gonna eat there!"
Juan (06:14):
"I can't do that."
Alan (06:17):
"Why?!"
Juan (06:18):
"Because I'm embarrassed to eat in front of people, I
make a mess."
Alan (06:29):
"Don't worry about it! People are paid to clean it up.
And besides...
who cares?
I think we've gotta go in andjust have a good time!"
Juan (06:37):
"That was the first time eating out at a restaurant.
I was fourteen year old.
McDonald's, I'm loving it eversince." Giggles The Last Time I
(07:04):
Talked to Dell The last time Iever talked to Dell, it was a
Monday night.
He was old and had really badasthma.
(07:25):
We would call each other everyMonday night.
We would talk for twentyminutes.
This night was weird.
When I got off the phone, I toldmy wife,"I'm never going to talk
(07:55):
to him again." I just knew this.
Two days later he was gone.
MsBoye (08:17):
Thanks, Juan.
Those stories are so sweet,reflect your sense of humor and,
um, they're really tender.
So, thank you for sharing them.
Um, what I want to talk aboutright now is, um, California.
that's where you first met yourwife Susie, wasn't it?
Juan (08:38):
Um, I met Susie when I was nine and she was ten.
Um, we went to a Special Edschool.
(09:01):
That, um, we were in Santa MariaCalifornia.
MsBoye (09:12):
So, you were both at a Special Ed school at, um, in, in
Santa Maria, California?
Juan (09:18):
Yeah.
Umm, when she came in, um, tomeet the class.
The first day she came in andlook at the class And, uh, she
(09:48):
took a tour of the class andwhen she left I told my teacher,
"I'm gonna marry her one day!"
MsBoye (10:06):
Ha! So, here she is, new girl in town, she wanders around
the class and gets a tour, andthere's this little boy in the
back going,"Mm hmm, I'm going tomarry that girl one day."
Juan (10:20):
I told my teacher that!
MsBoye (10:23):
You actually told your teacher that you were going to
marry her.
Mm.
Juan (10:26):
Yeah, and we laughed every year.
AHHHHHHHHH!(Laughs)...Um,
MsBoye (10:35):
(Giggles)
Juan (10:37):
and we dated off and on for many years
MsBoye (10:48):
hahumm.
Juan (10:49):
after that.
At seventeen she moved toAustin.
The family...relocated here.
Um, we stayed in touch.
MsBoye (11:10):
Stayed in touch.
Okay.
Of course you stayed in touch.
You, you were going to bewilling to let that girl go
easily, were you?
Juan (11:18):
Yeah For a couple of years and then, um, she asked me to"go
steady"! And I said,"Yes!"(Laughs)...umm, For two years we
(11:48):
flew back and forth every sixmonths..
MsBoye (11:56):
You actually moved back and forth every six months?
Juan (12:00):
No, no, no.
We flew
MsBoye (12:04):
Flew...
back and forth, oh, I get it.
So, Susie being Susie, she askedyou to go steady.
Mm hmm, because she knew whatyou wanted, and then you would,
like, fly back and forth everysix months.
Juan (12:21):
Yeah, one, one, one would go one way and the other one
went the other way.
MsBoye (12:31):
So, one would fly one way, one would fly the other
way, and that's how you stayedin touch.
Juan (12:36):
Yeah.
MsBoye (12:37):
Long distance relationships are hard,
especially when you're thatyoung.
Juan (12:40):
Yeah, it was very hard for a while.
MsBoye (12:51):
I, uh, I love the story that you wrote about the very
first time, uh, that you metSusie and how you may not have
been looking your best anddidn't really give her the best
impression.
So, this seems like a perfectplace to stop and take time out
to listen to, uh, that story andtwo other pieces about Susie in
(13:11):
your story compilation aboutLove.
Juan (13:23):
The Helmet When I was five years old, even though I was in
a wheelchair, I wore a helmetbecause I fell so much.
It looked like an old footballhelmet.
(13:49):
At ten I went from thewheelchair to the walker.
I still fell a lot.
By the time I was thirteen I gotrid of the walker, I fell every
(14:12):
time I took a step.
When I turned sixteen, I gotbetter at falling.
The first time that Susie met meI had the helmet on.
(14:34):
She thought I was a weirdo.
Little giggle The Booth in theMall The first time I came to
(14:57):
Texas to see Susie, It was thefirst time I, I had been away
from my family in a big city.
I, uh, I was scared shitless.
(15:23):
Susie and I went to the mall acouple times a week.
We had fifty dollars a day tospend.
I remember that we took apicture in, in one of those
(15:48):
little booths.
Susie, had to get out of herwheelchair to get in to the
booth.
I got her laughing so hard shefell out of the booth.
(16:14):
A UPS guy picked her up and puther back in her wheelchair.
We had shirts made from one ofthose pictures, with the words,
(16:38):
“See you in my dreams.” Myrelationship to Spaghetti
Spaghetti and I do not getalong.
(17:01):
I like, Spaghetti but it doesnot like me.
I, I cannot wind it up on thefork.
I get it all over me.
(17:27):
I get it all over the table.
I get it all over the roof! Theymake it too long! My wife makes
me feed her spaghetti., I do areally good job feeding
(17:56):
spaghetti to her because thefork goes away from me!
MsBoye (18:17):
I, I can't express how much I love the way your stories
convey the spirit of yourrelationship.
Well, what I was able to see ofyour relationship with Susie.
The playfulness, the joy, thedeep love.
And, and earlier you told usthat for you it was love at
first sight.
(18:37):
Um, you want to say more aboutSusie's first experience of, of
meeting you?
Um, uh, yeah, you probably.
You didn't feel like you werelooking your best when she
walked into that classroom andsaw you for the first time?
So what did Susie think of youwhen she first met you?
Juan (18:56):
Wait, let me sit up.
Okay.
When Susie met me...
I was sitting at a typewriterand I was doing my work, wearing
(19:18):
the helmet.
She thought I was a weirdo!(BigLaughter) Laughter
MsBoye (19:30):
Was she right?
Juan (19:32):
ummm!
MsBoye (19:33):
In a good way!
Juan (19:34):
In a good way, yes!, Yeah, yeah! Laughs
MsBoye (19:39):
(Laughs)
Juan (19:40):
Ummm.
MsBoye (19:41):
You both have a great sense of humor.
Juan (19:43):
Yeah!
MsBoye (19:44):
You matched sense of humors.
Juan (19:47):
I mean, Susie was my life.
I miss her...
You know?
MsBoye (19:53):
I do know.
That was blatantly clear foreverybody to see.
So, um, I wanna jump ahead alittle bit now to your life in
Austin and, um, about, uh, Iwanna talk about the uh, Actual
Lives, Austin Theater Group, uh,that all of these pieces were
(20:13):
written for.
Um, from what I can tell you andSusie became an an essential
part of actual lives, right?
Juan (20:24):
Yeah, I was.
Um.
MsBoye (20:27):
OK.
What made you go to ActualLives?
You went together with Susie?
Juan (20:33):
Well I had to drive Susie everywhere and then...
MsBoye (20:41):
Huhmm.
Juan (20:42):
I asked Susie,"Can I join with you?
We could do it together." Shegoes,"Yeah, yeah, yeah! So, she
asked Chris, and she goes,"Yeah,come on." and...
MsBoye (21:02):
Had you ever acted before?
Have you ever done that atschool or anything?
Juan (21:06):
No, no, no, no, I haven't acted or nothing, I'm like, why
not?
If I fail I fail If, if I didgood, I would do good.
MsBoye (21:24):
Haha Yeah.
Yeah.
And you had fun?
Juan (21:28):
Yes.
MsBoye (21:31):
So now you're back in California.
Juan (21:36):
Yeah
MsBoye (21:37):
And where are you living?
Juan (21:39):
I live with my sister and her husband.
MsBoye (21:47):
Your sister and her husband.
Juan (21:48):
Yeah.
Because I lost my, I lost Susiea year ago.
MsBoye (22:02):
Yeah.
Juan (22:03):
And um, I, um, I said to myself,"Okay, what am I going to
do with myself,?
And, when Susie was alive, Iwent to my sister, and I go, I
(22:33):
asked her,"If Susie dies what amI gonna do?" Well...
MsBoye (22:46):
Alright, so you asked your sister, like,"What am I
gonna do when she dies?"
Juan (22:50):
Yeah, because Susie, Susie was getting sick at that point.
MsBoye (22:59):
Right.
Juan (23:00):
And, luckily my sister was...
she goes,"You could come livewith me.
Don't you worry about that."
MsBoye (23:17):
Alright.
Juan (23:18):
And that's what I did, I packed my bags...
MsBoye (23:26):
mm
Juan (23:27):
..And moved.
I mean, I, I've been there ayear now, so...
MsBoye (23:38):
Oh, I know that for you it's probably dragged, but it
only seems a few weeks ago orsomething that you were packing
up your stuff and I remember ustalking about your decision to
move and how that was what youneeded to do.
Um, but I know for you, it'sprobably been a really long
year.
Juan (23:58):
I, I still miss her.
I've been together forthirty-two years with Susie.
MsBoye (24:10):
How many years, how long were you and Susie together?
Juan (24:13):
Thirty-two years,
MsBoye (24:17):
Thirty-two years you were together and she was your
life.
Juan (24:22):
Yep, but we'd known each other forty-two years, yep.
We were a big part of, uh, eachother.
It's like, we grew up together.
MsBoye (24:43):
Right.
Well you did grow up together.
Juan (24:46):
Yeah
MsBoye (24:47):
Yeah, you really did and you had a wonderful life.
Juan (24:50):
I mean, we had a great life before cancer took over...
I mean.
MsBoye (25:03):
Yeah, I know that was hard.
It's, it is hard.
It's hard for everybody.
And at the same time, it's clearthat the depth of your grief
comes from how deeply you lovedher and You know, it's like
grief holds hands or coexistswith your awareness that your
relationship with her was such agift, you know, the grief and
(25:25):
sadness, and I expect some angertoo, can't wipe out your
gratitude for the gift.
And what a gift.
I mean, particularly as twoyoung folks with disabilities in
a world, an ableist world,where.
Not so long ago, those kind ofrelationships weren't allowed,
(25:46):
and even today, they are oftenmade to be difficult.
You two made it happen for eachother, and I know that there is
no way to fill that hole in yourheart, or in your life.
Juan (25:59):
Oh yeah, we, we, we used to go everywhere together.
We went to...the ball games, onvacation, we made a life
together.
MsBoye (26:19):
Yeah.
Yeah, you did, uh, you made alife with her and now you are
learning how to make a lifewithout her.
Um, you know, that's a reallywonderful way of honoring her.
Juan (26:37):
And I honor her because the...
MsBoye (26:41):
uhum.
Juan (26:41):
Because if the situation was the other way around I
wouldn't want her to mope aroundand give up.
MsBoye (26:56):
Right, yeah.
That's a really importantinsight, Juan.
It's a great moment of empathyand courage.
I mean, you can allow yourselfyour grief, but you also know
that she wouldn't want you to bemiserable.
She loved you, and she wouldwant you to live.
(27:16):
And um, that's amazing.
Juan (27:20):
Umm you know I'd want her to We've gotta go on I mean
that's all I'm going to do is goon I miss her a lot, but I gotta
(27:41):
go on with my life.
MsBoye (27:43):
Ahum.
Yeah, in a way you've got tocreate a new life.
Um, you know, you were veryblessed and lucky to have found
each other, which brings us tothe last of your story
combinations based, focusedaround luck.
So, uh, let's listen to a coupleof short pieces about luck and
(28:03):
give everybody a little insightinto the role luck has played in
your life.
Juan (28:23):
Poker Face People always tell me I got a a kind face.
I have a good Poker Face.
Nobody can read my Poker Face.
They cannot tell if I have agood hand or a bad hand.
(28:51):
Is that just a good thing or abad thing too?
Cha Ching.
The first time I went to Vegas,I played the slot machines
(29:13):
first, and I lost my ass.
So I went to go look for a pokergame and I found one for thirty
bucks.
But I lost my ass on that onetoo.
(29:37):
The next day, I found a machinecalled"Deal or No Deal." It was
a very good deal to me! I wonfive hundred bucks.
(29:59):
Cha ching." I decided to takethe money and roll.
At the airport I won anotherforty bucks.
MsBoye (30:34):
So you mentioned that you and Susie would go to
baseball games.
I heard that you used to go allthe time to baseball games, and
you were, like, really wellknown at the Dell Diamond.
Juan (30:49):
Yeah! Before Susie and I Before Susie got sick, we used
to go to every Landmark, thebest games.
(31:09):
And umm, we knew the owners.
We knew the staff.
They kind of adopted us.
(Big Laugh!)
MsBoye (31:25):
You knew the owners, knew all the staff, and they
kind of adopted you.
Juan (31:29):
Yeah, we'd go to pay to get in and....
"No, no that's okay!"(Giggles)
MsBoye (31:36):
HA! You didn't even Have to pay to get in?
Juan (31:39):
No.
MsBoye (31:41):
Oh my goodness, you're such a charmer!
Juan (31:44):
We, we, we got a lot from them.
MsBoye (31:50):
Um, um.
You, you got a lot from them?
What, like free hot dogs andpopcorn or something?
I don't know whatever it is youhave at baseball games.
Juan (32:00):
We got a van donated by them.
MsBoye (32:05):
Hang on, hang on.
They, they gave you a van?
How the heck did that happen?
That's a bit more than a hotdog.
Juan (32:12):
I told them one time, "We're not gonna come out no
more." And the owner goes,"Whyyou don't like us no more?" I
told them,"No my transmission'sgoing out."
MsBoye (32:40):
And that'll do it.
Juan (32:43):
And you know it's It was seventy miles both ways.
MsBoye (32:54):
Woah, wait up! I'm sorry, Juan.
I don't think I heard thatproperly.
Because what I heard you say wasseventy miles both ways.
Surely you mean seventeen orsomething.
Juan (33:07):
Seventy!
MsBoye (33:09):
SEVENTY! Oh my gosh, you're passionate about that
sport!
Juan (33:12):
(Laughs) Yeah! But so the next day the owner called me up,
"Juan and Suzie I need you atthe ballpark.
I need you at the ballpark,like, two hours before."
MsBoye (33:42):
So, out of the blue, you get a phone call at home from
the owners and, uh, telling youto get to the ballpark two hours
early, huh?
Juan (33:54):
And they donated an accessible van for me.
MsBoye (34:01):
Oh, they sent an accessible van for you?
Juan (34:03):
No, they donated.
MsBoye (34:06):
Oh, they donated an accessible van to you!
Juan (34:09):
Yeah.
MsBoye (34:10):
Wow!
Juan (34:12):
He goes,"The only thing I ask you yo do is come to ball
games." Laughs) Of course, I go,"We could do that!"(Laughs)
MsBoye (34:28):
Yeah, that was a price you were willing to pay.
Juan (34:30):
Giggles...
Yeah!
MsBoye (34:32):
That is a fabulous story, but that wasn't all, was
it?
I mean, I heard that there wasanother time when they stepped
up to help you.
Juan (34:40):
Yes.
They bought Susie a manualwheelchair.
MsBoye (34:47):
Oh, and they bought her a manual wheelchair when she
couldn't use her electric oneanymore.
Huh?
Wow.
Juan (34:59):
When Susie died um I opened Go-Fund-Me account.
He donated the money.
MsBoye (35:09):
So, when Suzy died in order to help with her funeral
expenses, you did a GoFundMe,and they donated money to that.
Juan (35:18):
Yes,
MsBoye (35:19):
Okay, got it.
Well, they just sound likeamazing people and very
generous, and they obviouslyreally care for you and Susie.
Uh, that's just amazing.
I'm very impressed.
Um, I think that would be asweet place for us to end this
chat.
(35:43):
Oh, oh, hang on, hang on...
I almost forgot.
It just occurred to me, I dohave one other little question
for you, if that's okay?
They laugh.)
Juan (35:54):
Yeah.
MsBoye (35:55):
So, if there are any young lovers out there listening
to this?
What advice would you give toyoung folks, who are in love
and, are fighting the systemthat doesn't support that love?
What would you want them toknow?
Or even what would you want youryoung self to know?
Juan (36:15):
Um, never go to bed mad.
MsBoye (36:23):
Never go to bed mad.
Juan (36:26):
You could go to bed angry, but never go to bed mad.
MsBoye (36:40):
Okay.
Juan (36:41):
I mean, another day is another day.
MsBoye (36:46):
Isn't that the truth?
That is just a fact.
And there is no way, oh, there'sno way getting away from that.
Juan (36:54):
I mean, if you go to bed, mad, you're gonna wake up mad...
MsBoye (37:02):
Yeah.
Okay.
Juan (37:04):
and life is too short to be mad.
MsBoye (37:10):
Life is too short to be mad.
Blessed be!
Juan (37:14):
Laughs) Yeah!
MsBoye (37:16):
Laughs)
Juan (37:17):
Yeah!(Laughter)
MsBoye (37:22):
Hey, have you found a church?
A church community was reallyimportant for you and Susie
together.
Have you found one inCalifornia?
Juan (37:29):
Yes I did, I, I I go to a church that accept accept me and
love me and I'm happy.
MsBoye (37:43):
You're happy?
Juan (37:44):
I'm I'm going to church.
MsBoye (37:46):
Okay, good.
Juan (37:47):
Yeah.
MsBoye (37:48):
Good.
Because I know spirituality wasa big part of your life here.
Juan (37:51):
Oh, yeah, Um, Los Dios was with me everywhere I go.
MsBoye (38:02):
You know, have you heard that saying, uh, wherever you
go, there you are?
But the other part of that is,wherever you go, there you are,
and God is with you everywheretoo.
So, that is so true.
Juan (38:18):
You know.
Mm hmm.
MsBoye (38:20):
Yeah, I do.
Thank you, Juan.
This was great.
Is there anything else you wannasay?
Juan (38:27):
Nope.
Thank you!
MsBoye (38:29):
Well, Juan, I am really glad that you came back to
Austin and we were able torecord this today.
Um, and I want you to know wemiss you in Austin, and I want
to thank you for everything youdid for Actual Lives and dancing
here in Austin with Art SparkDance.
And um, I really hope that youget to have, well, I don't hope,
(38:55):
I know you are going to have aton more adventures out there in
the world in this next phase ofyour life.
Juan (39:02):
Thank you..
MsBoye (39:03):
That's it.
Juan (39:04):
Okay.
MsBoye (39:05):
Great!
Juan (39:06):
(Juan laughs) Thank you!
MsBoye (39:08):
Thank you.
Thank you for listening to thethird season of True Tales by
Disability Advocates Podcast.
If you enjoyed this episode, oh,please share it with your
friends and talk about us onsocial media.
If you're feeling particularlyadventurous, consider leaving us
a review on Facebook or even onyour favorite podcast platform,
and of course, don't forget tofollow us on Facebook,
(39:31):
Instagram, and LinkedIn.
Goodbye, everybody, and have awonderful day.
Kamand Alaghehband (39:40):
All episodes of The True Tales by Disability
Advocates Podcast, are free onApple Podcasts, Spotify, and
anywhere you get your podcasts.
John Beer (39:50):
The program is funded in part by a grant from the
Texas State Independent LivingCouncil, the Administration for
Community Living, andindividuals like you.
Kristen Gooch (40:01):
To learn more about The Speaking Advocates
Program, sign up for ournewsletter at Artspark T X dot
org.
That's A R T S P A R K T X dot OR G.
Welcome to True Tales by Disability Advocates
Podcast, authentic voices ofpeople thriving with
disabilities, where individualsuse the art of storytelling to
change the world.
John Beer (00:22):
The True Tales by Disability Advocates Podcast is
produced by Art Spark Texas,Speaking Advocates Program.
The free virtual training isopen to people of all
disabilities, no matter whereyou live.
Kamand Alaghehband (00:35):
Keep listening to hear how life's
challenges can spark a desire tospeak out, and Advocate for
yourselves and others.
MsBoye (00:50):
Hello, you're listening to The True Tales by Disability
Advocates Podcast.
Changing the world one story ata time.
This is the show where advocatesharness the power of
storytelling to build communitywith their peers and develop
empathy in others.
Hello, everyone, I'm MsBoye.
Jennifer (01:09):
I'm Jennifer McKinney,
Adam (01:11):
I'm Adam Griebel,
MsBoye (01:12):
and we are your hosts for season three.
Hi, I'm MsBoye, and, um, I'm thehost for this, Episode 23, Lucky
in Friendship, Love and Life.
And I am here with Juan Munoz,who is a storyteller, an actor,
(01:39):
a dancer, and I'm very happy tosay, friend of mine And like me,
he met a girl and traveled allthe way across the country to be
with her.
Uh, I am really happy to be ableto have this chat, chat with
Juan, I've missed him.
But now he's in Austin thisweek, so, we're going to have a
(01:59):
little chat and he's going tobring us, he's got some stories
that we're going to share withyou.
Uh, first of all, welcome Juanand, yeah, thanks for doing this
with us.
Juan (02:12):
Thank you MsBoye, um, I'm real honored to be here.
MsBoye (02:25):
You know, I remember when we first met, um, one of
the first things you told meabout yourself was that you were
a dancer and that you liked toteach, you, you were teaching
men dance classes for men.
Juan (02:40):
Yep.
MsBoye (02:41):
That's one of your passions right?
Juan (02:43):
Yes.
Umm, I took a little course andI'm a certified dance
instructor.
Umm...
MsBoye (03:04):
So, you took training to become a certified dance
instructor.
Juan (03:09):
Yes.
MsBoye (03:10):
And why did you particularly want to work with
men?
Juan (03:15):
Well, it wasn't men, it was all different abilities.
MsBoye (03:28):
Oh, so at first you were interested in dance for folks
with all different abilities,right?
So it's inclusive, improviseddance that anyone can do, but
it's only later that you starteddoing groups for men.
Juan (03:43):
Yeah.
MsBoye (03:44):
You know, um, that's a pretty cool, pretty radical
thing for you to do, you know,because a lot of guys,
especially around our age, yourage, my age, I'm older than you,
but, um, you know, guys our agedidn't get to dance, right?
I mean, dance just wasn't a guything to do when we were growing
(04:05):
up.
Let alone a kid with adisability who had a habit of
falling down all the time.
(Chuckles) In a way, in a way,you choosing to dance and teach
dance was, is a very radicalthing to do.
Juan (04:21):
Yeah.
It was fun.
MsBoye (04:25):
It was fun.
Juan (04:26):
Yeah.
MsBoye (04:27):
Yeah, I've seen you dance, it's beautiful.
Juan (04:31):
Thank you.
MsBoye (04:31):
You're so welcome.
Uh, I think we should listen toyour first two pieces that were
written and performed, um, for,for Actual Lives Austin.
Are you ready?
Juan (04:43):
Yeah.
MsBoye (04:46):
Brilliant! I can't wait to hear them.
Um, I want to tell everybodythat usually in the show, we
have guests read one longerstory, but we're changing things
up this episode.
Juan, Celia, and I have puttogether shorter pieces, and
we've separated them into threecategories Friendship, Luck, and
Love.
This first section is about thepower of friendships, especially
(05:10):
Juan's friendships with otherguys.
It also shows how, you Juanembraced being a rule breaking,
radical type of guy, even froman early age.
Juan (05:28):
Hi my name is Juan Munez Um, I'm gonna read some things.
McDonald's, I'm loving it! WhenI was a kid, I had an older
(05:51):
friend named Del.
He worked at the Boys Club.
He took me under his wing.
Alan (06:04):
"Hey Juan, wanna go eat at McDonalds?!"
Juan (06:07):
Do you mean eat there or take it out to the car?"
Alan (06:14):
"We're gonna eat there!"
Juan (06:14):
"I can't do that."
Alan (06:17):
"Why?!"
Juan (06:18):
"Because I'm embarrassed to eat in front of people, I
make a mess."
Alan (06:29):
"Don't worry about it! People are paid to clean it up.
And besides...
who cares?
I think we've gotta go in andjust have a good time!"
Juan (06:37):
"That was the first time eating out at a restaurant.
I was fourteen year old.
McDonald's, I'm loving it eversince." Giggles The Last Time I
(07:04):
Talked to Dell The last time Iever talked to Dell, it was a
Monday night.
He was old and had really badasthma.
(07:25):
We would call each other everyMonday night.
We would talk for twentyminutes.
This night was weird.
When I got off the phone, I toldmy wife,"I'm never going to talk
(07:55):
to him again." I just knew this.
Two days later he was gone.
MsBoye (08:17):
Thanks, Juan.
Those stories are so sweet,reflect your sense of humor and,
um, they're really tender.
So, thank you for sharing them.
Um, what I want to talk aboutright now is, um, California.
that's where you first met yourwife Susie, wasn't it?
Juan (08:38):
Um, I met Susie when I was nine and she was ten.
Um, we went to a Special Edschool.
(09:01):
That, um, we were in Santa MariaCalifornia.
MsBoye (09:12):
So, you were both at a Special Ed school at, um, in, in
Santa Maria, California?
Juan (09:18):
Yeah.
Umm, when she came in, um, tomeet the class.
The first day she came in andlook at the class And, uh, she
(09:48):
took a tour of the class andwhen she left I told my teacher,
"I'm gonna marry her one day!"
MsBoye (10:06):
Ha! So, here she is, new girl in town, she wanders around
the class and gets a tour, andthere's this little boy in the
back going,"Mm hmm, I'm going tomarry that girl one day."
Juan (10:20):
I told my teacher that!
MsBoye (10:23):
You actually told your teacher that you were going to
marry her.
Mm.
Juan (10:26):
Yeah, and we laughed every year.
AHHHHHHHHH!(Laughs)...Um,
MsBoye (10:35):
(Giggles)
Juan (10:37):
and we dated off and on for many years
MsBoye (10:48):
hahumm.
Juan (10:49):
after that.
At seventeen she moved toAustin.
The family...relocated here.
Um, we stayed in touch.
MsBoye (11:10):
Stayed in touch.
Okay.
Of course you stayed in touch.
You, you were going to bewilling to let that girl go
easily, were you?
Juan (11:18):
Yeah For a couple of years and then, um, she asked me to"go
steady"! And I said,"Yes!"(Laughs)...umm, For two years we
(11:48):
flew back and forth every sixmonths..
MsBoye (11:56):
You actually moved back and forth every six months?
Juan (12:00):
No, no, no.
We flew
MsBoye (12:04):
Flew...
back and forth, oh, I get it.
So, Susie being Susie, she askedyou to go steady.
Mm hmm, because she knew whatyou wanted, and then you would,
like, fly back and forth everysix months.
Juan (12:21):
Yeah, one, one, one would go one way and the other one
went the other way.
MsBoye (12:31):
So, one would fly one way, one would fly the other
way, and that's how you stayedin touch.
Juan (12:36):
Yeah.
MsBoye (12:37):
Long distance relationships are hard,
especially when you're thatyoung.
Juan (12:40):
Yeah, it was very hard for a while.
MsBoye (12:51):
I, uh, I love the story that you wrote about the very
first time, uh, that you metSusie and how you may not have
been looking your best anddidn't really give her the best
impression.
So, this seems like a perfectplace to stop and take time out
to listen to, uh, that story andtwo other pieces about Susie in
(13:11):
your story compilation aboutLove.
Juan (13:23):
The Helmet When I was five years old, even though I was in
a wheelchair, I wore a helmetbecause I fell so much.
It looked like an old footballhelmet.
(13:49):
At ten I went from thewheelchair to the walker.
I still fell a lot.
By the time I was thirteen I gotrid of the walker, I fell every
(14:12):
time I took a step.
When I turned sixteen, I gotbetter at falling.
The first time that Susie met meI had the helmet on.
(14:34):
She thought I was a weirdo.
Little giggle The Booth in theMall The first time I came to
(14:57):
Texas to see Susie, It was thefirst time I, I had been away
from my family in a big city.
I, uh, I was scared shitless.
(15:23):
Susie and I went to the mall acouple times a week.
We had fifty dollars a day tospend.
I remember that we took apicture in, in one of those
(15:48):
little booths.
Susie, had to get out of herwheelchair to get in to the
booth.
I got her laughing so hard shefell out of the booth.
(16:14):
A UPS guy picked her up and puther back in her wheelchair.
We had shirts made from one ofthose pictures, with the words,
(16:38):
“See you in my dreams.” Myrelationship to Spaghetti
Spaghetti and I do not getalong.
(17:01):
I like, Spaghetti but it doesnot like me.
I, I cannot wind it up on thefork.
I get it all over me.
(17:27):
I get it all over the table.
I get it all over the roof! Theymake it too long! My wife makes
me feed her spaghetti., I do areally good job feeding
(17:56):
spaghetti to her because thefork goes away from me!
MsBoye (18:17):
I, I can't express how much I love the way your stories
convey the spirit of yourrelationship.
Well, what I was able to see ofyour relationship with Susie.
The playfulness, the joy, thedeep love.
And, and earlier you told usthat for you it was love at
first sight.
(18:37):
Um, you want to say more aboutSusie's first experience of, of
meeting you?
Um, uh, yeah, you probably.
You didn't feel like you werelooking your best when she
walked into that classroom andsaw you for the first time?
So what did Susie think of youwhen she first met you?
Juan (18:56):
Wait, let me sit up.
Okay.
When Susie met me...
I was sitting at a typewriterand I was doing my work, wearing
(19:18):
the helmet.
She thought I was a weirdo!(BigLaughter) Laughter
MsBoye (19:30):
Was she right?
Juan (19:32):
ummm!
MsBoye (19:33):
In a good way!
Juan (19:34):
In a good way, yes!, Yeah, yeah! Laughs
MsBoye (19:39):
(Laughs)
Juan (19:40):
Ummm.
MsBoye (19:41):
You both have a great sense of humor.
Juan (19:43):
Yeah!
MsBoye (19:44):
You matched sense of humors.
Juan (19:47):
I mean, Susie was my life.
I miss her...
You know?
MsBoye (19:53):
I do know.
That was blatantly clear foreverybody to see.
So, um, I wanna jump ahead alittle bit now to your life in
Austin and, um, about, uh, Iwanna talk about the uh, Actual
Lives, Austin Theater Group, uh,that all of these pieces were
(20:13):
written for.
Um, from what I can tell you andSusie became an an essential
part of actual lives, right?
Juan (20:24):
Yeah, I was.
Um.
MsBoye (20:27):
OK.
What made you go to ActualLives?
You went together with Susie?
Juan (20:33):
Well I had to drive Susie everywhere and then...
MsBoye (20:41):
Huhmm.
Juan (20:42):
I asked Susie,"Can I join with you?
We could do it together." Shegoes,"Yeah, yeah, yeah! So, she
asked Chris, and she goes,"Yeah,come on." and...
MsBoye (21:02):
Had you ever acted before?
Have you ever done that atschool or anything?
Juan (21:06):
No, no, no, no, I haven't acted or nothing, I'm like, why
not?
If I fail I fail If, if I didgood, I would do good.
MsBoye (21:24):
Haha Yeah.
Yeah.
And you had fun?
Juan (21:28):
Yes.
MsBoye (21:31):
So now you're back in California.
Juan (21:36):
Yeah
MsBoye (21:37):
And where are you living?
Juan (21:39):
I live with my sister and her husband.
MsBoye (21:47):
Your sister and her husband.
Juan (21:48):
Yeah.
Because I lost my, I lost Susiea year ago.
MsBoye (22:02):
Yeah.
Juan (22:03):
And um, I, um, I said to myself,"Okay, what am I going to
do with myself,?
And, when Susie was alive, Iwent to my sister, and I go, I
(22:33):
asked her,"If Susie dies what amI gonna do?" Well...
MsBoye (22:46):
Alright, so you asked your sister, like,"What am I
gonna do when she dies?"
Juan (22:50):
Yeah, because Susie, Susie was getting sick at that point.
MsBoye (22:59):
Right.
Juan (23:00):
And, luckily my sister was...
she goes,"You could come livewith me.
Don't you worry about that."
MsBoye (23:17):
Alright.
Juan (23:18):
And that's what I did, I packed my bags...
MsBoye (23:26):
mm
Juan (23:27):
..And moved.
I mean, I, I've been there ayear now, so...
MsBoye (23:38):
Oh, I know that for you it's probably dragged, but it
only seems a few weeks ago orsomething that you were packing
up your stuff and I remember ustalking about your decision to
move and how that was what youneeded to do.
Um, but I know for you, it'sprobably been a really long
year.
Juan (23:58):
I, I still miss her.
I've been together forthirty-two years with Susie.
MsBoye (24:10):
How many years, how long were you and Susie together?
Juan (24:13):
Thirty-two years,
MsBoye (24:17):
Thirty-two years you were together and she was your
life.
Juan (24:22):
Yep, but we'd known each other forty-two years, yep.
We were a big part of, uh, eachother.
It's like, we grew up together.
MsBoye (24:43):
Right.
Well you did grow up together.
Juan (24:46):
Yeah
MsBoye (24:47):
Yeah, you really did and you had a wonderful life.
Juan (24:50):
I mean, we had a great life before cancer took over...
I mean.
MsBoye (25:03):
Yeah, I know that was hard.
It's, it is hard.
It's hard for everybody.
And at the same time, it's clearthat the depth of your grief
comes from how deeply you lovedher and You know, it's like
grief holds hands or coexistswith your awareness that your
relationship with her was such agift, you know, the grief and
(25:25):
sadness, and I expect some angertoo, can't wipe out your
gratitude for the gift.
And what a gift.
I mean, particularly as twoyoung folks with disabilities in
a world, an ableist world,where.
Not so long ago, those kind ofrelationships weren't allowed,
(25:46):
and even today, they are oftenmade to be difficult.
You two made it happen for eachother, and I know that there is
no way to fill that hole in yourheart, or in your life.
Juan (25:59):
Oh yeah, we, we, we used to go everywhere together.
We went to...the ball games, onvacation, we made a life
together.
MsBoye (26:19):
Yeah.
Yeah, you did, uh, you made alife with her and now you are
learning how to make a lifewithout her.
Um, you know, that's a reallywonderful way of honoring her.
Juan (26:37):
And I honor her because the...
MsBoye (26:41):
uhum.
Juan (26:41):
Because if the situation was the other way around I
wouldn't want her to mope aroundand give up.
MsBoye (26:56):
Right, yeah.
That's a really importantinsight, Juan.
It's a great moment of empathyand courage.
I mean, you can allow yourselfyour grief, but you also know
that she wouldn't want you to bemiserable.
She loved you, and she wouldwant you to live.
(27:16):
And um, that's amazing.
Juan (27:20):
Umm you know I'd want her to We've gotta go on I mean
that's all I'm going to do is goon I miss her a lot, but I gotta
(27:41):
go on with my life.
MsBoye (27:43):
Ahum.
Yeah, in a way you've got tocreate a new life.
Um, you know, you were veryblessed and lucky to have found
each other, which brings us tothe last of your story
combinations based, focusedaround luck.
So, uh, let's listen to a coupleof short pieces about luck and
(28:03):
give everybody a little insightinto the role luck has played in
your life.
Juan (28:23):
Poker Face People always tell me I got a a kind face.
I have a good Poker Face.
Nobody can read my Poker Face.
They cannot tell if I have agood hand or a bad hand.
(28:51):
Is that just a good thing or abad thing too?
Cha Ching.
The first time I went to Vegas,I played the slot machines
(29:13):
first, and I lost my ass.
So I went to go look for a pokergame and I found one for thirty
bucks.
But I lost my ass on that onetoo.
(29:37):
The next day, I found a machinecalled"Deal or No Deal." It was
a very good deal to me! I wonfive hundred bucks.
(29:59):
Cha ching." I decided to takethe money and roll.
At the airport I won anotherforty bucks.
MsBoye (30:34):
So you mentioned that you and Susie would go to
baseball games.
I heard that you used to go allthe time to baseball games, and
you were, like, really wellknown at the Dell Diamond.
Juan (30:49):
Yeah! Before Susie and I Before Susie got sick, we used
to go to every Landmark, thebest games.
(31:09):
And umm, we knew the owners.
We knew the staff.
They kind of adopted us.
(Big Laugh!)
MsBoye (31:25):
You knew the owners, knew all the staff, and they
kind of adopted you.
Juan (31:29):
Yeah, we'd go to pay to get in and....
"No, no that's okay!"(Giggles)
MsBoye (31:36):
HA! You didn't even Have to pay to get in?
Juan (31:39):
No.
MsBoye (31:41):
Oh my goodness, you're such a charmer!
Juan (31:44):
We, we, we got a lot from them.
MsBoye (31:50):
Um, um.
You, you got a lot from them?
What, like free hot dogs andpopcorn or something?
I don't know whatever it is youhave at baseball games.
Juan (32:00):
We got a van donated by them.
MsBoye (32:05):
Hang on, hang on.
They, they gave you a van?
How the heck did that happen?
That's a bit more than a hotdog.
Juan (32:12):
I told them one time, "We're not gonna come out no
more." And the owner goes,"Whyyou don't like us no more?" I
told them,"No my transmission'sgoing out."
MsBoye (32:40):
And that'll do it.
Juan (32:43):
And you know it's It was seventy miles both ways.
MsBoye (32:54):
Woah, wait up! I'm sorry, Juan.
I don't think I heard thatproperly.
Because what I heard you say wasseventy miles both ways.
Surely you mean seventeen orsomething.
Juan (33:07):
Seventy!
MsBoye (33:09):
SEVENTY! Oh my gosh, you're passionate about that
sport!
Juan (33:12):
(Laughs) Yeah! But so the next day the owner called me up,
"Juan and Suzie I need you atthe ballpark.
I need you at the ballpark,like, two hours before."
MsBoye (33:42):
So, out of the blue, you get a phone call at home from
the owners and, uh, telling youto get to the ballpark two hours
early, huh?
Juan (33:54):
And they donated an accessible van for me.
MsBoye (34:01):
Oh, they sent an accessible van for you?
Juan (34:03):
No, they donated.
MsBoye (34:06):
Oh, they donated an accessible van to you!
Juan (34:09):
Yeah.
MsBoye (34:10):
Wow!
Juan (34:12):
He goes,"The only thing I ask you yo do is come to ball
games." Laughs) Of course, I go,"We could do that!"(Laughs)
MsBoye (34:28):
Yeah, that was a price you were willing to pay.
Juan (34:30):
Giggles...
Yeah!
MsBoye (34:32):
That is a fabulous story, but that wasn't all, was
it?
I mean, I heard that there wasanother time when they stepped
up to help you.
Juan (34:40):
Yes.
They bought Susie a manualwheelchair.
MsBoye (34:47):
Oh, and they bought her a manual wheelchair when she
couldn't use her electric oneanymore.
Huh?
Wow.
Juan (34:59):
When Susie died um I opened Go-Fund-Me account.
He donated the money.
MsBoye (35:09):
So, when Suzy died in order to help with her funeral
expenses, you did a GoFundMe,and they donated money to that.
Juan (35:18):
Yes,
MsBoye (35:19):
Okay, got it.
Well, they just sound likeamazing people and very
generous, and they obviouslyreally care for you and Susie.
Uh, that's just amazing.
I'm very impressed.
Um, I think that would be asweet place for us to end this
chat.
(35:43):
Oh, oh, hang on, hang on...
I almost forgot.
It just occurred to me, I dohave one other little question
for you, if that's okay?
They laugh.)
Juan (35:54):
Yeah.
MsBoye (35:55):
So, if there are any young lovers out there listening
to this?
What advice would you give toyoung folks, who are in love
and, are fighting the systemthat doesn't support that love?
What would you want them toknow?
Or even what would you want youryoung self to know?
Juan (36:15):
Um, never go to bed mad.
MsBoye (36:23):
Never go to bed mad.
Juan (36:26):
You could go to bed angry, but never go to bed mad.
MsBoye (36:40):
Okay.
Juan (36:41):
I mean, another day is another day.
MsBoye (36:46):
Isn't that the truth?
That is just a fact.
And there is no way, oh, there'sno way getting away from that.
Juan (36:54):
I mean, if you go to bed, mad, you're gonna wake up mad...
MsBoye (37:02):
Yeah.
Okay.
Juan (37:04):
and life is too short to be mad.
MsBoye (37:10):
Life is too short to be mad.
Blessed be!
Juan (37:14):
Laughs) Yeah!
MsBoye (37:16):
Laughs)
Juan (37:17):
Yeah!(Laughter)
MsBoye (37:22):
Hey, have you found a church?
A church community was reallyimportant for you and Susie
together.
Have you found one inCalifornia?
Juan (37:29):
Yes I did, I, I I go to a church that accept accept me and
love me and I'm happy.
MsBoye (37:43):
You're happy?
Juan (37:44):
I'm I'm going to church.
MsBoye (37:46):
Okay, good.
Juan (37:47):
Yeah.
MsBoye (37:48):
Good.
Because I know spirituality wasa big part of your life here.
Juan (37:51):
Oh, yeah, Um, Los Dios was with me everywhere I go.
MsBoye (38:02):
You know, have you heard that saying, uh, wherever you
go, there you are?
But the other part of that is,wherever you go, there you are,
and God is with you everywheretoo.
So, that is so true.
Juan (38:18):
You know.
Mm hmm.
MsBoye (38:20):
Yeah, I do.
Thank you, Juan.
This was great.
Is there anything else you wannasay?
Juan (38:27):
Nope.
Thank you!
MsBoye (38:29):
Well, Juan, I am really glad that you came back to
Austin and we were able torecord this today.
Um, and I want you to know wemiss you in Austin, and I want
to thank you for everything youdid for Actual Lives and dancing
here in Austin with Art SparkDance.
And um, I really hope that youget to have, well, I don't hope,
(38:55):
I know you are going to have aton more adventures out there in
the world in this next phase ofyour life.
Juan (39:02):
Thank you..
MsBoye (39:03):
That's it.
Juan (39:04):
Okay.
MsBoye (39:05):
Great!
Juan (39:06):
(Juan laughs) Thank you!
MsBoye (39:08):
Thank you.
Thank you for listening to thethird season of True Tales by
Disability Advocates Podcast.
If you enjoyed this episode, oh,please share it with your
friends and talk about us onsocial media.
If you're feeling particularlyadventurous, consider leaving us
a review on Facebook or even onyour favorite podcast platform,
and of course, don't forget tofollow us on Facebook,
(39:31):
Instagram, and LinkedIn.
Goodbye, everybody, and have awonderful day.
Kamand Alaghehband (39:40):
All episodes of The True Tales by Disability
Advocates Podcast, are free onApple Podcasts, Spotify, and
anywhere you get your podcasts.
John Beer (39:50):
The program is funded in part by a grant from the
Texas State Independent LivingCouncil, the Administration for
Community Living, andindividuals like you.
Kristen Gooch (40:01):
To learn more about The Speaking Advocates
Program, sign up for ournewsletter at Artspark T X dot
org.
That's A R T S P A R K T X dot OR G.
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