October 1, 2025 • 61 mins
Struggling with emotional numbness or a closed heart chakra? In this powerful episode, Cheryl shares her journey from feeling emotionally numb to opening her heart chakra and rediscovering herself at 50.
After leaving a 22-year relationship, Cheryl spent years in emotional numbness, not realizing she needed to heal childhood trauma while helping everyone else. Learn the blocked heart chakra symptoms she experienced—going with the flow, people-pleasing and disconnection from her own desires.
Discover the heart chakra healing practices that transformed her life:
- Writing letters to release unspoken resentment
- The power of silence and morning rituals
- Recognizing symptoms of closed heart chakra
- Therapy for emotional healing through energy work
- How to open heart chakra through self-awareness
Cheryl reveals the opening of heart chakra symptoms she experienced—from crying for the first time in years to feeling joy in everyday moments. If you're experiencing blocked heart chakra symptoms or feeling emotional numbness, this episode offers practical steps for healing heart chakra wounds.
About Cheryl:
Cheryl Montanez is a multidimensional entrepreneur and creator dedicated to building a life of balance, purpose and growth. With a strong foundation in business and finance, she brings clarity and vision to projects across business management, property development, plan design and financial planning.
A graduate of The Ancient Way's Become the Hero of Your Own Journey program (https://theancientway.co/hero), Cheryl experienced profound transformation in her heart chakra and continues her journey in our Take Health Into Your Own Hands program (https://theancientway.co/health). A certified Emotion Code practitioner and Reiki Level 3 attuned healer, she blends modern wellness practices with timeless wisdom, helping others release emotional blocks, restore energetic harmony and embrace holistic well-being.
Rooted in creativity, spirituality and a love for the outdoors, Cheryl thrives on making—from designing tarot spreads and spiritual resources to preparing nourishing meals and strengthening her bow-hunting form.
Resources:
Begin with Wisdom: The Way of the Goddess Book
“I very highly recommend it... I think anyone can benefit from its wisdom." Dr. Deepak Chopra: a.co/crHf7Wm
Get Grounded: Free Living Liberated Newsletter
Rituals and inspiration to stay steady and radiant in your purpose: theancientway.kit.com
Know Yourself: Free Chakra Healing Guide
Discover where your energy flows and where it’s blocked with actionable insight: chakrahealingguide.com
Heal Your Gut: Free Digestion Healing Guide
theancientway.kit.com/digestive-healing
Give from a Full Cup: Circle of Life Community
Grow alongside fellow givers: theancientway.co/community
Journey Deeper: Book a Free Discovery Call
calendly.com/anantaripa/discovery-call
Disclaimer: Resources are for educational and spiritual growth purposes only and are not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Please consult your healthcare provider for medical conce...
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
AnantaRipaAjmera (00:07):
Welcome back to the True to Yourself podcast.
I am your host, Ananda ReepaAjimera, and we are diving now
into the power of love in yourheart chakra.
And I'm so happy to be joinedhere today by Cheryl Montanus.
Cheryl is an amazing alumni ofmy Become the Hero of Your Own
(00:28):
Journey program who hasexperienced a beautiful
transformation in her heartchakra.
So, Cheryl, I would love toknow tell me about a time when
you were truly true to yourselfand what that did for your
heart.
CherylMontanez (00:49):
I mean, I think there's been a couple times in
my life initially starting withleaving a 22-year relationship.
Um to maybe at the time Iwasn't like finding to find
myself, but you know, to find tobe on my own.
It was been the first time inmy whole entire life being on my
(01:09):
own.
I was a young mom.
Um and just taking care of me,but it took about four years to
really realize I still hadn'tfound me.
Just leaving wasn't the trick.
And um we stumbled into uhMystic Energies um uh store,
(01:37):
storefront, and they were doingsome tarot card readings and
different things, and then thatI was drawn to that place, and
that opened up my like spiritualjourney that I started going on
and realizing um that I hadn'tum mourned, I guess the loss of
(01:59):
like the family, like all thethings that I had family-wise
and connection-wise andpeople-wise, um, that weren't
lost, but not the same.
And you know, everythingchanges and becomes different.
So I was slowly like, and I'venever been one to be like, oh,
I'm depressed or whatever.
I don't feel so I just go likewe've solved problems and we
(02:21):
keep going.
And um, in retrospect, I dofeel like I was like getting
like in a depression area, um,you know, just low energy, sat
not happy, just there.
And in that one night, andluckily it was a fast
transition, like that night, andwe started going to classes,
(02:43):
and it was kind of like aself-help crying, putting things
out there, um, realizing that Ineeded to find myself.
And so it's been about a yearand a half that I've just been
focused on what do I like?
(03:04):
Who what do I like to doinstead of going with the flow?
I think in our class we talkedabout one time where it was
like, I thought I was so amazingbecause I'm easy, whatever you
want to do, let's go.
I can be, you know, funanywhere, I can have fun
anywhere because I'll dowhatever anybody else, you know,
wants to do within reason.
Um, you know, I didn't have anyof my own, like, oh, I don't
(03:28):
like that or I don't want to dothat.
I would do anything.
So those are good qualities,and I convinced myself of how
great that was, but I also don'tknow what I like, what I do
actually like, and what I wantto do.
So that's the journey that I'vebeen on in finding those
things.
And funny, the things that Ilike are things that I've dipped
(03:51):
my toe in throughout the years.
I just never took the time tolike do it because it was for
me.
I did the kids, I did thehouse, I did businesses, I did
work and kept myself real busytaking care of everything else
and numbing myself out.
AnantaRipaAjmera (04:10):
Yeah, wow.
So before the program, how didcaring for others and your
businesses and all the thingsthat you talked about impact
your own heart's ability to healand feel love for yourself?
CherylMontanez (04:29):
Just keeping myself busy so that I didn't
have to, I didn't have the time.
Like I went to a transcendentalmedica meditation class for one
weekend and I really liked it.
But it's a time commitment.
And then and I think back then,because it's probably 15 years
ago, it wasn't as people weren'tas open, and I was worried
(04:50):
about, you know, oh, now I'mgonna do this new weird thing
that nobody else in my family oranybody around me does.
Um and would people accept itor my family accept, you know,
give me that space, and that itwas easier just to get caught up
in life again and get busy andstay busy and not really take
(05:11):
care of myself and do thosethings.
But it was my my spirit pullingme in those directions all the
time.
And yeah, so it's in lookingback, I'm like, oh, I've always
wanted it.
I've always wanted to be hereand and do these things and um
just never never did and neverlooked into my own heart to say,
(05:35):
like, yeah, it's okay to spendtime for myself.
Like I need we need that time.
We need to take care ofourselves before, you know, help
yourself before you helpothers.
They always say, you know, puton your own oxygen mask.
But I was really good at fixingup because I'm not emotional.
I'm really good at solving youremotional problems with no
(05:56):
emotions and being logical andanalytical and dissect and help
you through by being that calm,not get crazy and like tell you
to hate somebody or not dislikesomebody or like do something
crazy.
I'm very calm and rational.
Like you should talk.
Um, and great advice um that Idon't take myself.
AnantaRipaAjmera (06:20):
Yeah, that's big, I think, for a lot of us as
healers, therapists, andcoaches.
And I feel like that's one ofthe most powerful things about
my own journey.
When I wrote this book, The Wayof the Goddess, that the
program is based on.
I actually did it with theintention of really practicing
what I was writing about andteaching to other people.
(06:42):
And that for me has become suchan anchor and such a
transformational thing,actually, because as healers, I
feel like we carry so much ofthat wisdom and what can happen
when we actually apply it toourselves is like wow, right?
It's so amazing.
CherylMontanez (07:02):
Right, right.
Yes, just listening to your owndesires and you know what's
always been out there, but notwith it, like not taking the
time.
So, like my morning kind ofdoing the rituals and practices
or whatever and finding thatquiet time actually really does
(07:26):
center you and balance you andgive you, and just not having
anyone to talk to and notturning on the TV.
Those were big little thingsthat make a bit, you know, not I
always used to think I had tohave noise in the house, like
have the TV on so that there'snoise.
I'm not listening, but there'sdistraction.
So that was one of the thingsin the class that we like the
(07:46):
silence and letting go of thenoise and having that time, and
um and that made me realizethat's what I really love about
my morning.
It is dead quiet because I'mtrying to be quiet, not so I get
more time so I don't wakeanybody up.
AnantaRipaAjmera (08:04):
I love that.
Can you share about a momentwhen you realized it was safe to
open your heart to your ownneeds, desires, and feelings?
I think a lot of people feelafraid to do this and they run
from themselves as a result.
So what what would you say wasyour experience with this?
CherylMontanez (08:25):
I think it was going to the class and having
that reading and crying infront, like I don't cry and then
reading two cards, like andcalled me out on my whole life
in two cards and never meetingthat person before, and then
crying in front of like eightpeople that I had never met, and
(08:49):
just realizing like how doesshe know that?
First of all, like wow, so thisis real, this is like what I'm
need to hear, and um and thatslowly just kind of crack, I
guess it cracked me, you say acrack in the open.
(09:10):
It kind of cracked me that thatday, and um made me realize
like no, I need like because I'mburning out or I'm getting, you
know, I'm not someone that Iwould would have thought that I
was depressed or sad, but Ireally was like I was just lost.
(09:33):
I was whatever, just going withthe flow, getting through day
by day, and realized like that'snot a way to live life.
There's so much more for mylife, you know, and I'm 51, so
turning 50 was like, oh, becauseso all this happened like right
at like 50-ish, 4950.
(09:54):
So I think there's a lot ofthat, like, oh my gosh, you
know, but then I'm like, oh, Ihave the then Sally's in our
class, and I'm like, I have awhole lifetime ahead, and you
know, we can make a choice todayto do something different, and
the making a choice for yourselfis gonna better you and
(10:14):
everyone around you.
Like, I just the differenceswith you know, my children, my
grandchildren, um having thesedeeper conversations because
everything was like, oh, problemthis, problem that, and like
solving this, and now we'retalking more on a spiritual
level or like um healing ouremotions and healing our hearts
(10:36):
and you know, feeling ourfeelings and talking about those
kind of things.
And my granddaughter's 12, andI'm trying to have like help her
deal with the emotions, youknow, as a teenager and have
make better choices and justhave a better connection to
herself.
So that's super exciting, andand watching that, the little
(10:57):
changes that I've seen already.
And I'm like, this is working,this is amazing.
And if she can from 12 startthis way, and my daughter's in
her 30s, like I'm like, just doit, take care of you.
AnantaRipaAjmera (11:11):
Oh, I love that.
That's so beautiful.
That's so amazing.
The ripple effect that we canhave in our families just by
really committing to doing somesmall things that support us
that we become what we want ourchildren and grandchildren to
be, right?
Instead of just saying, you dothis, you do this, while I go do
(11:32):
this, right?
Right.
CherylMontanez (11:34):
Yeah, talking about what we all should do.
AnantaRipaAjmera (11:37):
Right.
Like so much of what happens asas leaders, right?
Whether parents or teachers orcoaches or healers or podcast
hosts, even it's like easy tojust say what the other person
should do.
It's much more difficult, Ithink, to actually walk that
path ourselves.
And yet I feel like that's thekey, right, to leadership, to
(11:58):
really good parenting, toplanting the seeds that you
actually want to grow in otherpeople is that you actually live
that life yourself.
And then a lot of that conflictgoes away, right?
Of like what you want them todo, and then they see the power
of it through your examplerather than you know, just like
exhausting your energy trying toexplain it and and you know,
(12:21):
have people do that.
What kind of resistances aroseas you began moving from feeling
emotionally numb to reallyawakening your heart?
CherylMontanez (12:33):
Well, I've always been um a proponent of,
well, I'd rather be this way andnumb than emotionally out of
control, right?
Like I've never seen like thepositive in that meltdown or um
the world is on fire andeverything is horrible.
And then I even say the same,like we're both living the same
(12:56):
world in the same life in thesame world, right?
Everything around us is thesame, and how you're dealing
with it and how I'm dealing withit, like is two totally
different ways.
Like mine is more of a leveland yours is more of a you know,
up and down or um chaotic, butwe're still getting the same
result.
So we could take the hard road,we could take the easy road,
(13:18):
but there is a level of puttingpeople off that way too.
Like I think that not beingable to be open um and as
emotional, like also pushespeople away.
So it's trying to find thebalance of not being overly
(13:42):
emotional, let like the worldcome crashing down on me, but
also understanding and feelingand um embracing the emotions as
they come, recognizing them.
I mean, my first steps are justeven recognizing that um
there's more emotions thanfrustrated or angry and calm and
(14:05):
saying I love you, you knowwhat I mean, and and feeling I
love you, you know, and havingthose differences.
So like I think just startingto recognize my own feelings in
the moment, especially instressful moments, and trying to
then not react, you know, havea conscious thought.
(14:25):
Um, but yeah, it is identifyingfeelings first.
AnantaRipaAjmera (14:32):
Yeah, yeah, I remember when we talked about uh
this equation, uh, or twoequations actually in our
program when we were exploringthe heart chakra that Swami
Parthasarti reveals and whatyour you know reflections were
on it, because he says love plusselfishness equals attachment.
(14:53):
Attachment minus selfishnessequals true love.
And I remember you had saidthat you were the kind of person
who would always say, I loveyou, I love you.
And this actually caused you topause and reflect, hey, what is
love actually?
CherylMontanez (15:09):
Right.
Yeah, I did pause and reflectto see it like have I actually
ever been in love?
So my family never said I loveyou or gave hugs, like we
weren't that type of family.
It was a tumultuous, you know,fighting and then just normal,
or fighting and then justnormal.
Um, but as I had I had mydaughter at 18, and when she was
(15:35):
two or three, you know, orprobably older than that, maybe
five or six, but where you'restarting to like time out and
you know, your behavior, likedisciplining and whatever, it
one day just dawned on me, like,you know what?
I never I was following thosesame habits.
I she was getting in trouble.
And again, me, I'm notemotional, so it was just nope,
black and white, you break therules and da-da-da, and
(15:56):
whatever.
And you're in there crying andhaving your thing.
And um, I realized I needed tomake sure that I said I love you
and that you know um thatyou're loved.
I love you, but you're stillgonna be in timeout for 20
minutes.
Yeah.
Um, and also I hadstepchildren, so I knew it was
(16:17):
important.
I don't know how I knew, but itwas just um given to me that it
was very important to make surethat they knew I loved them
before um any discipline camefrom me.
So initially I neverdisciplined, you know, I just
talked to them and whatever andlet their parents just do that
kind of thing.
(16:38):
So to establish that love.
My dad adopted my brothers, andso there, I was that kind of
family anyway.
And I think that's probablywhere that came from.
So as a step parent, you needto like love first, and then um,
you know, then you can haveyour comments or discipline or
whatever.
So that came years later.
So I think that was kind ofduring that time, and it was
(16:59):
part of that.
Then I started saying thewords, you know, I love you, and
saying it all the time.
Like, so now my family is alltrained.
When we get off the phone, it'sI love you, like my daughter's
best friends, like we all say Ilove you.
Um, but the men in my life havealways been like, oh, use that
like throwaway.
So I think I did go full fromnone at all to okay, everybody
(17:24):
needs to know that they're lovedbecause I never heard that.
I remember one day saying it tomy mom on the phone because it
became a habit.
And when I was saying goodbyeto my mom, I was like, hey, love
you, bye.
And then she gives and didn'tknow what to say because our
family didn't say it.
And I hung up and laughedbecause I was like, oh, I didn't
even mean to say it to herbecause I knew it would throw
(17:45):
her off.
Um, but then I just started,you know, the best way through
it is just to keep doing it.
So I trained my mom and my dadand my kids to say it.
And so when you said that theequation, um, it did make me
think of my relationships andthat, huh?
I want there's always beenattachment in all of my
(18:08):
relationships.
So you do businesses togetherand you know, the kids and
stepkids and whatever.
So there's always becomes thethings.
And I don't know that I've everhad true love because it's
always been a rational, logical,not you know, not so much of an
emotional um decision making.
(18:30):
I mean, there's some emotionsobviously to get you there, but
then it was like, oh, move intogether because it makes more
sense to not pay two rents.
Um, you know what it was alwayslogic that brought it to
whatever, you know, next step,next step, and probably sooner
than necessary because I learneda lot in our class.
(18:51):
And I'm like, wow, I think it'samazing the way that you go
through your relationships andand are doing that.
I love hearing about it.
Um, but yeah, that there's thebalance and like having that
being trained to say I love youversus feeling those feelings of
I love you and how um theattachment, like even with our
(19:15):
kids, you know, we love thembecause they're our kids, you
know, and so and there is that'sa huge attachment.
Um, you know, and would it bethere without?
And I do know, I do love all mykids and I would still be in
their lives.
Um, but yeah, the attachmentthing was kind of profound and
made me have to think that makesyou kind of sad.
AnantaRipaAjmera (19:39):
It it does because it makes us reflect like
what kind of expectations arecoming with that love, what kind
of desires do we have for whatthe person should be doing?
Where is that you know,manipulation and control
potentially also even cominginto the love, right?
Like with codependency, I feellike it's so much of that where
(20:00):
it's like we we can do thingsfor people, but there's always
this kind of expectation thatsomething is uh going to happen
as a result of it.
And when we start to examinethose desires and expectations
and really consciously releasethem, it allows so much more
space, I think, for the truelove to really blossom.
(20:22):
Because when we don't uh havethose desires, right?
Like that's uh kind of what theselfishness is.
It's not about what you do ordon't do, because you can do all
the things, right?
And more things for someone,but still very much have
attachments and expectations forwhat they will, or entitlements
rather, right?
Like entitlement andexpectations for what they
(20:44):
should do as a result of whatyou're doing.
And when we can just feel theattachment without any of the
extra stuff, right, that goeswith it, it's so beautiful to
have that love just getpurified, right?
And be really like the realtrue thing.
CherylMontanez (21:03):
Right.
And I think that at thebeginning of relationships, that
that's the trick, right?
Because it feels like that.
You're like meeting people andtalking and all you whatever you
say and everything's funny, youknow what I mean?
And all of our like resistancesare down, and it's crazy how
quick, like one little thing.
Um, you know, as the dynamicstarts to change, then you're
(21:25):
like, huh.
Whereas if yes, you so it'sjust because at the beginning,
it's not that we're fake, butit's just that we're so much
more open.
And and then we slowly start tolearn, like people's like, oh,
that didn't go over well.
So let me not, you know, and westart adjusting.
So it's noticing that.
And um, and that's one bigthing that I've done over this
(21:47):
during this course and um thecourse of the last year and a
half of just going through thisis noticing who are attacked.
Like, I've kind of gotten ridof, I'm like, we're not really
friends.
Like, I do business with youand we go to dinner, but that
it's not like a friendship, likeyou don't call to see if I'm
okay, or uh you know, it's justbecause we I provide a service
(22:11):
and let me see if I don't dodinner, you know what I mean?
And and it's changed somerelationships, but it's okay.
It's also like a negative, youknow, person that I'm always
trying to fix or help, like notsee things that way.
And I'm like, yeah, I don'tneed to spend my energy doing
that.
So I mean, outside of you know,relationships, romantic
(22:33):
relationships, just in in life,evaluating that differently has
really opened my eyes.
Yeah, giving me back some of myown time for me.
AnantaRipaAjmera (22:44):
Totally, totally, yeah.
Yeah, so how has embracing moreof your own self-love changed
your relationships, would yousay, with others?
You you shared a little bitabout it, but is there any other
way?
CherylMontanez (22:56):
Yeah, the um I think I realized I have way, you
know, a lot of the things thatI do is energy work, right?
With Reiki and Emotion Code.
Um, so one of the things that Istarted realizing the more I'm
learning about energy and how itworks and like attracts like,
which is said all the time inAyurveda, right?
So emotions too.
(23:17):
If you worry, and I again feellike I'm just a calm baseline
person.
I don't worry about things andI do inside my head.
I'm going, oh, they're gonnareact like this.
Let me try to massage itbecause I don't want emotional
reactions from people.
I want everybody to just stayhappy and be calm and continue
(23:40):
doing what we're doing on thepath.
And so I start manipulating howI'm presenting things and
worrying about it.
And what I realize is that'sjust sucking.
If somebody has that energy onthe surface, I am just sucking
it right.
But as soon as I worry aboutit, I'm just sucking it right
out of them and into me.
So I really started justsaying, I just have love and
(24:01):
gratitude in my heart.
I'm filling this car with loveand gratitude.
Like if I know someone'sgetting in that already is like
frustrated or whatever, and I'mjust like filling the car with
love and gratitude and fillingmy space.
And it's wild how much thatworks.
And then, and so I tend to say,like, it's me.
(24:21):
And then people are, you know,your friends and people around
you are like, no, it's not, youknow, this isn't okay, and
that's not okay, and peoplecan't act like that.
I go, I get it, the behavior isnot right from the other
person, but we have so much morecontrol than we realize, and
I'm realizing it more and more,and like it's always eye-opening
(24:42):
and amazing as those littlethings, you know, this I because
I noticed when I stopped doingit, and I'm like, Oh, I need to
go back to, you know,reaffirming just love and
gratitude in my heart, and umkind of pulling that out of
people and you know, walkingaround the grocery store with a
smile on my face and making eyecontact with people.
Because one of the onesomething that I realized when I
(25:06):
did come back around andstarted feeling happier or
really being happier.
Um, when I would go to thegrocery store or the store
wherever, I people would alwaysbe like, Oh, hi, like just give
me a random, you know, peoplewould just start talking to me,
but it's because my eyes were upand my face, like I really did
have some joy in me, you know?
(25:26):
And as I was in that little bitof a depressed time, I was
like, Yeah, nobody even talks tome anymore when I'm in a store,
like I must be getting old orblah, blah, blah.
Don't, you know, I don't look.
And I realized, no, it's mywhole energy.
I wasn't attracting people theway that I was, has nothing to
do with appearance andeverything to do with, you know,
(25:47):
me looking up, smiling, andfeeling good.
And then people would just wantto be like, hey, and me, and I
would initiate too.
I if I make eye contact withyou, I'll say hi and just give
that extra niceness to somebodythat needed, or if it looks like
they needed a hug from a notthat I hug strangers, but you
(26:07):
know, like just the to say thehi and you know, give somebody
some attention that they weren'texpecting, you know, randomly.
So yeah, I did, and then once Ikind of perked out of it, I was
like, oh, see, there it isthere, and that's that natural.
Then I thought it was me andjust the look on my face, but
now I realize it's the energythat I'm generating and putting
(26:30):
out and what and I'm attractingnegativity to myself.
So we fulfill our ownprophecies.
All the things and wives' talesand sayings are there for a
reason.
They're all true.
AnantaRipaAjmera (26:45):
Totally, totally.
I love that.
And that's really the purelove, right?
Coming through because whenyou're just radiating that joy
and kindness to people withoutexpecting anything from them to
do, you know, that's when thereal love has a chance to
blossom and to be there first inour heart, right?
(27:05):
For ourselves.
Because we often abandonourselves, right?
We neglect ourselves intohelping other people, and
especially those of us who areeven healers by our our you
know, uh our calling, we can getreally sucked into that and
totally forget about ourselvesin the process and get rewarded
for it in different ways.
But then we ultimately pay aprice at some point, right?
(27:28):
And we all have to do thatreckoning and reflection within
ourselves.
And so, what what practices orinsights from the become the
hero of your own journey programwould you say specifically
helped you to reconnect with thepower of your own heart?
CherylMontanez (27:45):
So the most profound um I would have to say
was the silence.
Um when we did that chapter,and um, you know, you
recommended a whole day ofsilence, and I was like, whoo, I
got my two hours in themorning, like you know, that's
and I felt good about it.
I was like, yeah, that's when Ithink it started really
(28:07):
layering in that my morningroutine has really given me some
balance.
And I didn't realize I had sucha good one, like until talking
to everyone.
And I mean, I'm justanalytical, so I have an Excel
spreadsheet checklist to try totrack it, plus you know, all the
vitamin, all the things I'mtrying to track.
So um, but I have this ritualand I felt good about it, but I
(28:30):
was like, wow, I don't know if Icould do a whole day.
And um, we went hunting in thewoods, my first hunt, and I sat
in a blind by myself for 16hours.
Um, and you can't make a soundand you can't do anything.
And um I sent some reiki energyout into the woods and I did
some meditation and somehealings and whatever.
(28:52):
I called in a ton of animals,like um, so I saw all kinds of
wildlife in a beautiful thing.
And you don't have technology,you have your phone, but
reception is sketchy, and thenthe phone's gonna die, and I
needed to hike my way back outbecause I would get lost.
So I had to reserve mybatteries.
Um, and one day after thatclass, I think it was the second
(29:14):
hunt, um my phone didn't chargeat night.
So by 11 o'clock, I didn't haveany battery.
And I was like, huh, becauseI've been reading a book or
doing some emotion codes.
And I, what am I gonna do?
I didn't bring the hardbackbook this time, and but I had
brought my notebook from class.
So I said, let me go throughand do any homework that I
(29:36):
didn't do, or any of the umpractices that you know we pick,
we could pick one or whatever,and there were three or four.
So I had gone back, and one ofthose was writing a letter.
Um it was unspoken resentment.
Um, also writing a letter tomyself, writing a letter to my
(29:57):
emotions, um, and writingletters.
To someone that there was aresentment, or we made a list of
people.
So I did write the letter tomyself.
Um, that invoked a few tears,and it was amazing with the free
writing, it does start coming.
And I'm not a writer when Ijournal it's today.
I did so this one writing aletter to myself.
(30:20):
I had one other time done itbefore, so a little bit of
practice um months and monthsago.
So that one was a little biteasier writing a letter to my
emotions, and I think theinstructions were to talk about
how it had served me, um, andthen how it no longer serves me
and how I want to move past it.
(30:41):
So that was really cool.
So this is all kind of leadingup to then the name was like,
check, okay, got that done,check, got that done.
Okay, the next one isresentment.
And I had made a list of youknow, my ex-husband, um
different people on the listthat I thought that's who in the
moment, those were the onesthat popped to my mind.
(31:01):
And my mom and dad were onthere, but they were lower on
the list.
And I was like, you know what?
I'm gonna write to I wrote tomy dad, I think, my father
first, and then my mom, and Iwas sitting in there just tears
running down my face.
Um, it was the middle of theday, so I really wasn't too
worried about animals coming inbecause they were all bedded,
(31:21):
but I was just going to town andcrying and kind of feeling it,
and at the same time stoppingand noticing, like, huh, I
really needed to get these out.
And I it's things that Ithought, but I never said it in
that manner of saying it to themthrough a letter.
Like, like I'm really sayingthis to you.
(31:41):
I've always excused, not excusethe behavior, but justified or
however you want to say, youknow, like, oh, there I always
look at your upbringing and yourtraumas that you've gone
through.
We've all gone through traumas,so like we're all here in a
different way, and no one's outthere going, I want to hurt
people.
It's just it happens, and Idon't want to intend on hurting
(32:05):
people, but it I hurt people.
So I kind of give everybodythat grace.
And of course, I've explainedaway bad parenting and all of
that, all of our upbringing, um,to be able to not hate my
parents for it or be resentfuland all that kind of thing.
So yeah, I actually said thosethings in a different way for
(32:29):
the first time and bawling,crying out in the middle,
nowhere thinking I'm by myselfand then hearing footsteps and
like, oh, I'm supposed to behunting.
There's an animal coming, andit wasn't an animal, it was
strangers, and they walked up,and I probably had the girl was
like, hi, but thankfully inhunting, you don't stay in chat.
You're like, oh, sorry, Iintruded on your space, and you
move away.
(32:49):
But I just and it made megiggle, so it was a nice like um
way to pull out and um kind ofrecap of where I was, but it was
great, and I intend to finishwriting letters to all the rest
of the people just to kind ofrelease it and and say the
things that we don't say becausewe don't want to hurt people's
(33:10):
feelings.
And some I don't think it needsto be actually said.
There's nothing, it's all stufffrom the past, right?
Like there's no changing it.
Um, and I've always said I'mwho I am for all the things that
I've been through.
I don't remember them, butprobably because they're
traumatic, but it's mysuperpower of you know, not
(33:31):
remembering.
Um, but I am who I am becauseof all those things, because of
all the scars and all of thethings that have made me who I
am, and I'm happy with who I am.
So that's all I can ask for,and it's fine.
Um, and I'm not trying to placeblame, you know, if those
things hadn't happened, I mightbe a totally different person,
(33:51):
but right not without problem.
You know, it would just be adifferent.
So I am okay with who I am andand where I made it to.
And it's just exciting to bekind of letting some of that
stuff go that I didn't evenrealize I was holding on to.
And that's where motion codeand Reiki and all of that, like
releasing those energies becauseit's just attracting those same
(34:15):
emotions on that same level.
Like I was attracting thatsomehow, you know, by keeping
all of those things inside me.
So yeah, the silence was thatwas probably the best release,
the best hunting trip ever.
And I didn't get anything.
AnantaRipaAjmera (34:35):
Well, the whole purpose of the journey is
that we defeat the inner demons.
So you hunted your own innerdemons, right?
And that's the best thing youcan possibly do.
I love that.
Yeah, that's a really powerfulpractice.
And for someone who is feelingso numb to then be bawling, like
you mentioned you were, I thinkthat was a big, big
(34:57):
transformation in your journeyand it really does cleanse and
release so much.
I I found a lot of benefit indoing that myself for sure with
multiple people.
And I think it's a really goodpractice to do anytime we are
feeling kind of full of emotionsthat we don't know what to do
with.
And the whole purpose of it is,like you said, not to send into
(35:18):
that person, but just to clearit out of our own aura or our
own energetic field.
So, Cheryl, if you could speakto the younger Cheryl, one who
may have closed off her heart toprotect herselves and just be,
you know, even keeled and gowith the flow of what everyone
else wants.
What would you say to her nowfrom the perspective that you
(35:43):
have now at 51 with the kind ofjourney you've been on?
CherylMontanez (35:49):
But I understand probably why the shields were
put up.
Um but to do your best to holdon to to yourself, like not to
lose that inner child or justthe who you are, because I I
(36:11):
think it started really, youknow, far back um as a child,
just being, you know, the lastkid, you know, we all have the
with the middle child and theoldest child, all the the things
and the studies, and you know,we know.
And so I'm the oops kid thatyou had way later, and I'm sure
there was resentments and all ofthose kind of things.
(36:33):
And even with learning withemotion code, like absorbing
whatever emotions my mom wasgoing through when you didn't
mean to get pregnant at 30 withthe man that you probably
weren't in love with anymore,uh, you know, and all of those
things.
So I was born into that.
And I was born kind of like awallflower, kind of just, you
(36:56):
know, my I think my nextyoungest brother was nine years
older than me.
So there's a big gap.
Um, a lot of great things camewith that because then I was
like when I was old enough, Iwas the cute little kid to take
around with them and attractgirls for the boys, you know,
and and so there's some likethere's the good and the bad.
But I think I for the mostpart, I was just um yeah, like
(37:23):
over there, you know, not um notto be seen or heard, or you
know, just try to stay off theradar and stay out of the way.
Um, and that probably startedbuilding that.
So if I could be a biggerpersonality, or you know what I
mean, like hold find myself andand be that person and and kind
(37:46):
of hold on to that wouldprobably be just so that I knew
there was a little bit of meleft once I got here to find
because it's hard to find.
I don't know.
I was so I think I was so longthat way that I really don't
know what kind and without thememories, I don't know what kind
of kid I really was or what youknow.
(38:07):
I mean, I was a tomboy, I doknow that we played with guns
and did that kind of stuff.
So I mean it wasn't allhorrible, but um yeah, maybe
that's why I hunt now because Iwas a tomboy then, so it came
through.
I did hold on to a little bitof it.
AnantaRipaAjmera (38:26):
You do deep hunting, you know, you hunt for
the hidden emotions, yes, yourwisdom, you hunt down your
demons, so it's the best kind ofhunting there could be.
CherylMontanez (38:38):
Right, yeah, and I've been doing that, yes.
AnantaRipaAjmera (38:42):
And what would you say now it feels like to
love yourself more fully thanever before, even amidst
challenges or uncertainty?
CherylMontanez (38:53):
It is freeing.
Um, I would say like it givesme a new look on life of there's
a lot more life, and every day,like I can be something
different, I can choosesomething different, and
nothing's nothing's stuck,nothing is like who cares
(39:13):
whatever the past has been, andI can change if I'm not happy
and something um I can make youknow that change, not that I'm
rationally, you know, orirrationally going crazy making
changes, but noticing if I don'tlike it, okay, that what can I
do about it?
Let me like change this orchange that.
Um and it's okay.
(39:37):
It's like there's a lot of lifeleft, and there even though I'm
just now getting into this, andI do feel like it was probably
my life's work what I shouldhave been doing from a long time
ago, we're here now.
And and that's okay.
It's okay to be where you'reat.
And we all get there.
(39:58):
And it's exciting, it makes itexciting.
AnantaRipaAjmera (40:02):
Totally, totally.
And you know, in the BhagavadGita, Krishna says that no
effort on the spiritual pathever goes to waste.
No matter when we start thisjourney, how late it may feel in
the life cycle, it's really webelieve in reincarnation, so
it's just the beginning, thenupsetting the to uh create the
(40:24):
next one, right?
To start exactly where youleave off in this uh chapter.
And you mentioned about Sally.
Sally is our amazing82-year-old um program member,
community member of the ancientway, the circle of life.
And she was a part of theheroes journey with Cheryl.
And um, I'm gonna have her onthe podcast as well, share about
(40:45):
her powerful journey.
But she is such a livinginspiration of that, right?
That you know, at 82, she'sstill learning so much and still
discovering so much.
She just got back from a bigepic trip to Europe.
And, you know, like life onlystops once we stop learning and
stop growing.
And so the whole purpose or thewhole, you know, practice of
(41:10):
really being in your heart,being open to life is, I feel
what keeps us young alsoforever.
CherylMontanez (41:17):
Yes, and the knowing that I'm preparing for
my next life is kind of amazing,right?
And gives you that it doesn'tmatter because whatever I can do
here just makes the next lifethat much more amazing.
And and uh, you know, it's allfor a purpose and a reason and
um and looking into those pastlives of like what the heck was
(41:40):
going on, it helps explain,right?
AnantaRipaAjmera (41:46):
Yeah, what's going on in the present, but but
all that matters is the storythat we tell here and now,
right?
CherylMontanez (41:54):
Yes, and yeah, and exploring just finding you
and finding what you're callingand what you naturally have
within you to that makes youyou, that makes you on your
journey.
That's what's exciting.
So I do find and it's funny,like I said, like things that
(42:14):
I'm like, oh, this is a wholenew me, but it's not.
There's been such littlesprinkles of this throughout my
whole life.
I love Deepak Chopra.
The first time I ever seen himon Oprah, I was like, wow, I
love that.
And it totally let when Ire-found Ayurveda, I was like,
oh, this is what I neverremembered how to say Ayurveda.
(42:35):
So I was like, whatever DeepakChopra is into, and you know, is
what really interests me, but Inever, you know, went down the
road.
It seemed so overwhelming.
So, but once you start, youknow, one bite at a time, like
Tara's book would be an amazingbook for anyone to like step
into it slowly.
(42:55):
Um, but yeah, it is it, itisn't big things, it's a lot of
little things and understandingthat all these little things add
up.
And I just love the ancientwisdom and you know, nothing
Western.
Let me come back to whateverybody did back then before
it was real political and it wasjust natural in nature.
(43:19):
Um, and it makes so much sense.
And I love that science isproving all of it, like you
know, with the energy, with theemotion code, with Ayurveda, our
modern science is proving thatall of these practices and all
of these things are real and whythey work.
So, for my analytical mind, itso helps to go, ah, that's why
(43:42):
like attracts like, you know, itis like there is actual
scientific knowledge that wehave that proves it.
So it makes it so much easierto, you're not just grasping at
some unknown, or I've had a lotof trouble with faith, just
having faith, because I don'tthink everything, you know,
family-wise, having a roughfamily doesn't give you that
(44:05):
faith, that stay stablefoundation to be like, I can
trust this.
There hasn't been a lot oftrust.
Um, it's been all manipulationand and craziness.
So that I'm very science-y andlike to have the science behind
things.
So my journey started withtaking a natural path.
(44:25):
I just want to know how my bodyworks so I can figure it out
myself and know what I need totake and how to be better.
And it's you know, journeyedinto all of this, but yeah, it
makes sense.
Um, scientifically, you know,emotionally, spiritually, it's
opened me up to be allow myselfto be spiritual and you know,
(44:45):
not have to grasp a religion.
But I did read a book on youknow the Bhagavad Vita and was
like, oh, that makes so muchsense.
Why is it just not screamed,you know, like it's so open to
everybody.
It's the path.
One path leads to all, like tothe one, you know, the same.
All the paths go to the sameplace.
We're all, and I've always kindof believed that that's why I
(45:08):
don't like religion, man-madereligion.
I always say don't likeman-made religion, because
everybody has to be so right andtheir thing, and then there's
already a book out there thatsays like, no, it's all the
same, and it all leads to thesame place.
We're all doing the same thing,and I'm like, I didn't know
that existed.
So that's amazing, and it makesit so much easier to, you know,
(45:31):
some basic principles and bekind, and all the things that
religion teaches are great, youknow.
Um, it's just the judgy partthat I try to stay away from.
AnantaRipaAjmera (45:46):
Totally, totally.
Yeah, that's what's so coolabout Hinduism, that as a quote
unquote religion, it's actuallythe ultimate spiritual system,
which is saying that all pathslead to the same truth.
And when we have that love oftruth in our hearts, then God
also is here in our hearts.
And who is to say that oneversion of God is better or
(46:07):
greater than another?
They're all representing thesame one universal God or divine
consciousness, which connectsus all together in a beautiful
way.
And I love also about howAyurveda, the world's oldest
healing system that Deepaktoprahas introduced beautifully to
the world.
And I got to thank him fordoing that in person.
(46:29):
He you know has has broughtthat forward.
And now a lot of us are knowingabout that.
And I love how it gives usthese uh scientific principles,
which are really rooted in thelaws of physics to be able to
understand the order in thechaos and to really know why
we're doing what we're doing.
(46:50):
I was just actually speakingwith an Indian American uh woman
prior to us coming on for ourinterview, and she was exactly
sharing these things with methat, you know, even though I
grew up Hindu, it was soreligious.
Like people just do stuff, andI didn't know why we had to do
this and why we were beingprescribed so many things.
(47:11):
So even within this system, Iwould have a lot of confusion
because they just don'tunderstand the real essence
behind it.
And if we all have understoodthe essence behind any religious
or spiritual tradition, they'reall very pure.
They're all saying, you know,to be an ethical person, to do
good for others, to do good forourselves, to keep God with us
(47:31):
in our hearts.
You know that we don't evenhave to go to a religious
institution to find God, becausethat's actually what lives
inside of our own heart.
And that's why even in Islam,it's all about slaying the inner
demons, right?
To be able to discover your owntrue self.
And I love that we had a Muslimwoman as a part of our cohort
and how she connected with ittoo, as part of her own kind of
(47:55):
connection, along with what shebelieves in Islam as a
practicing Muslim.
And so yeah, like these arejust universal principles that
anyone and everyone should beable to embody to live a happy
and healthy life.
And I'm so excited that you'regonna be joining our eight-week
Take Health into your handsprogram starting up next week.
That's gonna be a wonderfuljourney to incorporate these
(48:18):
wellness practices and be ableto.
CherylMontanez (48:22):
I've had the book and I was like, did I read
it and go through it?
And I hadn't.
Um, I fell in love with thefirst one and then bought
everything, you know, bought it,went and looked for what else
you had and realized this oneisn't on um the audio, you know,
it's on an audio book.
So I mostly listen and I waslike, that's why.
(48:44):
So I never actually sat.
So I'm actually kind of gladbecause I'll go through it in
the class and so it'll all bemore fresh and um going through
it.
But yes, I'm very excited tokind of get the rest of the
rituals and practices and figureout my long-term practices and
um eating and the digestion andhormone balancing.
(49:08):
I mean, that's kind of beenthis all started just like on a
health journey as well, butturned into a spiritual journey.
But obviously, it all is onething.
You have to have all thebalance and everything.
So yeah, so slowly just pullingall the pieces together and
trying to learn to juggle.
AnantaRipaAjmera (49:30):
I love it, I love it.
Yeah, you know, actually,Cheryl, the IRV the way book
that you just showed, that wasmy first book that came and The
Way of the Goddess was thesecond.
So yeah, this was my my ownkind of beginning of my journey.
And then it deepened into thespiritual aspects and
understanding.
But I think the IRV the wayjust gives such a great
(49:52):
foundation that I still amexcited to go back through
myself.
Like, okay, what am I tellingothers?
I I've now created the space assomeone who tells other people
ideas and practices what to dothat I gotta listen to what I'm
saying and I have to take timeto incorporate it as well, you
know.
So I feel like I go throughthese programs that I teach also
as a student, and it makes itmuch richer to be able to do it
(50:16):
that way, you know, and I'm I'mjust so excited to have you as a
part of that.
And so, how do you continue tonurture and protect your heart
as you move through daily life?
I'm sure we'll have to doanother episode after you finish
that program, but you know, asof right now, what what are
those practices that anchor you?
CherylMontanez (50:36):
Um, the silence I think is like been the most
impactful.
Um, having my morning, like Ididn't even realize it how
impactful, but just that morningtime of getting up early before
anyone else, making my teas.
I sit outside in the sun, um,do my gratitude journal.
(50:57):
Um, you know, like it's thelayering.
I also listen to Gary Brecca,so I'm like trying to layer in
all the, you know, the healthstuff as well, but um, you know,
the Sarcadian rhythm, but itall ties into back to Ayurveda
as well with you know, sleepritual.
Actually, that's been a bigone, like making sure you go to
(51:17):
sleep at the same time andgetting up at the same time,
trying to get the seven to eighthours um and just incorporating
that.
But my what I'm really workingon right now is trying to slow
down.
I think you and I talked aboutit at the beginning, like I can
talk and I'll just talk and sayall the things that are floating
(51:40):
around in my brain without likereally pulling them together.
That's why I was nervous aboutthis.
Um being able to really likethink and have a fluid thought
um and not just say thingsbecause I tend to talk while I'm
(52:01):
thinking, and then that justmaybe I don't even mean the I'm
just thinking it through and Ilose, you know, the people
around.
So I think quietly like goinginside, being quiet, um and
identifying those emotions thatI am feeling, like okay, and
trying to identify if that's atrigger.
(52:21):
I got a reading and I uh wasshe said that um past
relationship, you know, has mademe guarded and different things
um that I bring into thisrelationship.
So I do tend to I do recognize,you know, things from my
childhood are triggers thatother people have, like, oh,
(52:41):
that's like triggering mebecause of my dad.
Um, but also just trying tocatch that and feel it all the
way through because of theemotion code.
I want to like not stop, notstuff down emotions.
I want to process them all theway.
So really kind of grabbing itand like, okay, I'm frustrated
and I want to stop and thinkabout it.
(53:02):
Why am I frustrated?
And um, because have you everbeen in a situation where you
see a couple like bicker andyou're like, that really wasn't
that big of a thing that thatperson said?
Like, why are they sofrustrated?
But it is all that built upanimosity in things, right?
So I'm trying to see that inmyself and go, okay, whatever
just got said was not even thatbig of a deal.
(53:23):
They're trying to be funny, letthem be funny, you know, and
like what did that reallytrigger?
What emotion can I releaseright now?
And like that to get them outof there.
So yeah, that's kind of beenthe the focus is relax and be
calm and try to feel the emotionall the way through and and
(53:46):
also identify as like what itwhere it really is coming from.
Because I think at this time inmy life, everything is just a
trigger of something.
You know, we're so built anddesigned to protect ourselves
from all the things.
So, oh, there's littleroadblocks.
So, like we start making ourown roadblocks in our life and
(54:08):
um just trying to like crashthose down and say, nope, it's
okay.
It's okay that I feel this way,it's okay that you feel this
way, and finding boundaries.
That's like probably the nextlearning how to speak my truths
with boundaries and and findinghow to set those boundaries.
AnantaRipaAjmera (54:29):
Yeah, yeah, wow.
I mean, in IRV that we talkabout how digestion is
considered the key to overallhealth, and that it's not just
of food.
We have to digest our emotions,we have to digest our life's
experiences, and that's so muchof where disease uh gets uh
anchored into the body andor themind, right?
(54:51):
It could be that the body isokay, but the mind has just got
a lot of disturbance that mayhave gotten deeply buried under
the needs of other people andconstantly responding to them
instead of allowing ourselves tojust feel pain, to feel a
discomfort, to feel sadness, tofeel anger, to feel loneliness
or frustration, like all thehuman range of emotions.
(55:13):
Because once we allow thatdigestion to happen, the
understanding of what the pasthas caused us to do in the
present, then the awarenessitself also allows us as a base
to make a new choice.
And when we are living fully inthe now, right, we are having
the most power to be able toenjoy life and to unwrap the
(55:36):
gift of each present moment.
So that's really what where allof this uh leads us to.
And I am just so happy thatyou're joining on for more
journeys and we have our circleof life community also to
continue this process ofdigestion in community.
We had our first uh medicinalstorytelling circle on Saturday,
(55:58):
and it was so amazing to havepeople of all ages, all stages,
all walks of life come togetherto share from all over the world
about what we've overcome inour lives and what was it that
allowed us to overcome thosechallenges because we can then
understand in each other'sstories, even what we're going
(56:20):
through now is the beginning ofsomething beautiful to come.
In the Book of Agita, Krishnahas says that what is like
poison in the beginning becomeslike nectar in the end, and
what's like nectar in thebeginning becomes like a poison
in the end.
So rather than just puttingaside the poison to choose the
(56:42):
nectar, we can see through thestories how the challenges and
the poison when we go through itand we take it in and we move
through that, allow us toexperience the nectar in the end
and how then we become morebrave to take on each challenge
and really uh feel our emotions,right?
Instead of running away fromthem.
(57:03):
And I feel like we do thatbetter when we do it together
and know that other people areon this journey as well.
So you'll have that space alsoto continue to process and
continue to share.
And we keep going through thesame um nine chakra theme each
time.
So I think when the heartchakra comes in, you know, we'll
have you open the circle andshare your story and we'll we'll
(57:26):
share the podcast with peopleas well.
And it's just a way that wekeep ourselves anchored in our
heroes' journey as we keep ongrowing and evolving, and that
way we also stay connected, youknow, to each other in this
heartfelt way, which uh is justso nice to know that there's
other warriors of the spirit outthere who are doing this
(57:46):
together.
Um, and this has been soamazing to talk to you.
And before we we close, I wantto just ask what advice would
you give, Cheryl, to someone whofeels disconnected from their
heart or the power of lovewithin themselves.
CherylMontanez (58:02):
I think what you were just saying, though, as
you were saying it, I realizedin this group I learned a lot
more than I expected.
Um, unexpected things.
Um, I don't have a lot ofailments and and physical
issues.
And like, you know, yourchecklist was like, what is your
butt?
And I'm like, yeah, I don'thave any of that.
(58:24):
Like, so I'm so grateful tothat, but that doesn't mean, you
know, it is mine's more mental.
My my mind is, you know, full.
But it it allowed in talking topeople and hearing everyone
else's stories and kind of beingthere, it does make you feel
like, okay, well, one, I'm notalone.
There are like people goingthrough this, like even with
(58:47):
Tara, with, you know, oh, she's,you know, becoming a
practitioner.
And it's been about five years,like you're able to see that
everybody's going through it, nomatter what age.
Um, and we're all on like thesame journey differently.
And um, so I think it is myadvice would be to get a group
of like-minded people, find yourpeople, find your tribe.
(59:08):
Um, you know, us walking intothat store that day opened up my
my world to a whole nothertribe, which led me here.
And, you know, I'm being partof the circle.
And um, I missed Saturday, butI'm trying to get to all of
them.
I was in all the others.
Um, but yeah, that's like youjust get so much insight from
(59:32):
hearing other people likedealing with the same things.
And um, and it's just nice liketo talk about like our group
was very small, like the five ofus, four of us, five of us.
Um so we all had enough time totalk, you know, we kind of
somebody had something come up,so we were able to like, you
(59:55):
know, coach each other throughit.
So I just think, yeah, findingsomething like this is.
Amazing.
AnantaRipaAjmera (01:00:03):
Oh, thank you so much, Cheryl.
This has been so wonderful toconnect with you.
And I know that your journey ofopening your heart and finding
the love within yourself isgoing to touch so many people's
hearts.
And I just want to inviteanyone who's listening to check
out the show notes for all thelinks to check out the programs
(01:00:25):
that we offer about takinghealth into your own hands,
becoming the hero of your ownjourney.
And if you don't know where youwant to start, then the Circle
of Life community is a wonderfulplace because we have a free
membership tier where you canjoin us live three times a month
to just share medicinal healingstories from your heart and
connect with the hearts ofothers from all over the world.
(01:00:47):
And it's an ongoing platformfor anyone who's wanting to or
committed to helping others togrow in some way, whether you're
a healer, a coach, a therapist,it doesn't matter.
But we're all healers andgivers who are learning to do so
from a full cup.
And we would love to invite youto join us for a beautiful
(01:01:09):
journey ahead.
And thank you again so much,Carol, for thank you for having
me.
CherylMontanez (01:01:16):
So wonderful.
Thank you.
AnantaRipaAjmera (01:01:18):
Thank you.
Welcome back to the True to Yourself podcast.
I am your host, Ananda ReepaAjimera, and we are diving now
into the power of love in yourheart chakra.
And I'm so happy to be joinedhere today by Cheryl Montanus.
Cheryl is an amazing alumni ofmy Become the Hero of Your Own
(00:28):
Journey program who hasexperienced a beautiful
transformation in her heartchakra.
So, Cheryl, I would love toknow tell me about a time when
you were truly true to yourselfand what that did for your
heart.
CherylMontanez (00:49):
I mean, I think there's been a couple times in
my life initially starting withleaving a 22-year relationship.
Um to maybe at the time Iwasn't like finding to find
myself, but you know, to find tobe on my own.
It was been the first time inmy whole entire life being on my
(01:09):
own.
I was a young mom.
Um and just taking care of me,but it took about four years to
really realize I still hadn'tfound me.
Just leaving wasn't the trick.
And um we stumbled into uhMystic Energies um uh store,
(01:37):
storefront, and they were doingsome tarot card readings and
different things, and then thatI was drawn to that place, and
that opened up my like spiritualjourney that I started going on
and realizing um that I hadn'tum mourned, I guess the loss of
(01:59):
like the family, like all thethings that I had family-wise
and connection-wise andpeople-wise, um, that weren't
lost, but not the same.
And you know, everythingchanges and becomes different.
So I was slowly like, and I'venever been one to be like, oh,
I'm depressed or whatever.
I don't feel so I just go likewe've solved problems and we
(02:21):
keep going.
And um, in retrospect, I dofeel like I was like getting
like in a depression area, um,you know, just low energy, sat
not happy, just there.
And in that one night, andluckily it was a fast
transition, like that night, andwe started going to classes,
(02:43):
and it was kind of like aself-help crying, putting things
out there, um, realizing that Ineeded to find myself.
And so it's been about a yearand a half that I've just been
focused on what do I like?
(03:04):
Who what do I like to doinstead of going with the flow?
I think in our class we talkedabout one time where it was
like, I thought I was so amazingbecause I'm easy, whatever you
want to do, let's go.
I can be, you know, funanywhere, I can have fun
anywhere because I'll dowhatever anybody else, you know,
wants to do within reason.
Um, you know, I didn't have anyof my own, like, oh, I don't
(03:28):
like that or I don't want to dothat.
I would do anything.
So those are good qualities,and I convinced myself of how
great that was, but I also don'tknow what I like, what I do
actually like, and what I wantto do.
So that's the journey that I'vebeen on in finding those
things.
And funny, the things that Ilike are things that I've dipped
(03:51):
my toe in throughout the years.
I just never took the time tolike do it because it was for
me.
I did the kids, I did thehouse, I did businesses, I did
work and kept myself real busytaking care of everything else
and numbing myself out.
AnantaRipaAjmera (04:10):
Yeah, wow.
So before the program, how didcaring for others and your
businesses and all the thingsthat you talked about impact
your own heart's ability to healand feel love for yourself?
CherylMontanez (04:29):
Just keeping myself busy so that I didn't
have to, I didn't have the time.
Like I went to a transcendentalmedica meditation class for one
weekend and I really liked it.
But it's a time commitment.
And then and I think back then,because it's probably 15 years
ago, it wasn't as people weren'tas open, and I was worried
(04:50):
about, you know, oh, now I'mgonna do this new weird thing
that nobody else in my family oranybody around me does.
Um and would people accept itor my family accept, you know,
give me that space, and that itwas easier just to get caught up
in life again and get busy andstay busy and not really take
(05:11):
care of myself and do thosethings.
But it was my my spirit pullingme in those directions all the
time.
And yeah, so it's in lookingback, I'm like, oh, I've always
wanted it.
I've always wanted to be hereand and do these things and um
just never never did and neverlooked into my own heart to say,
(05:35):
like, yeah, it's okay to spendtime for myself.
Like I need we need that time.
We need to take care ofourselves before, you know, help
yourself before you helpothers.
They always say, you know, puton your own oxygen mask.
But I was really good at fixingup because I'm not emotional.
I'm really good at solving youremotional problems with no
(05:56):
emotions and being logical andanalytical and dissect and help
you through by being that calm,not get crazy and like tell you
to hate somebody or not dislikesomebody or like do something
crazy.
I'm very calm and rational.
Like you should talk.
Um, and great advice um that Idon't take myself.
AnantaRipaAjmera (06:20):
Yeah, that's big, I think, for a lot of us as
healers, therapists, andcoaches.
And I feel like that's one ofthe most powerful things about
my own journey.
When I wrote this book, The Wayof the Goddess, that the
program is based on.
I actually did it with theintention of really practicing
what I was writing about andteaching to other people.
(06:42):
And that for me has become suchan anchor and such a
transformational thing,actually, because as healers, I
feel like we carry so much ofthat wisdom and what can happen
when we actually apply it toourselves is like wow, right?
It's so amazing.
CherylMontanez (07:02):
Right, right.
Yes, just listening to your owndesires and you know what's
always been out there, but notwith it, like not taking the
time.
So, like my morning kind ofdoing the rituals and practices
or whatever and finding thatquiet time actually really does
(07:26):
center you and balance you andgive you, and just not having
anyone to talk to and notturning on the TV.
Those were big little thingsthat make a bit, you know, not I
always used to think I had tohave noise in the house, like
have the TV on so that there'snoise.
I'm not listening, but there'sdistraction.
So that was one of the thingsin the class that we like the
(07:46):
silence and letting go of thenoise and having that time, and
um and that made me realizethat's what I really love about
my morning.
It is dead quiet because I'mtrying to be quiet, not so I get
more time so I don't wakeanybody up.
AnantaRipaAjmera (08:04):
I love that.
Can you share about a momentwhen you realized it was safe to
open your heart to your ownneeds, desires, and feelings?
I think a lot of people feelafraid to do this and they run
from themselves as a result.
So what what would you say wasyour experience with this?
CherylMontanez (08:25):
I think it was going to the class and having
that reading and crying infront, like I don't cry and then
reading two cards, like andcalled me out on my whole life
in two cards and never meetingthat person before, and then
crying in front of like eightpeople that I had never met, and
(08:49):
just realizing like how doesshe know that?
First of all, like wow, so thisis real, this is like what I'm
need to hear, and um and thatslowly just kind of crack, I
guess it cracked me, you say acrack in the open.
(09:10):
It kind of cracked me that thatday, and um made me realize
like no, I need like because I'mburning out or I'm getting, you
know, I'm not someone that Iwould would have thought that I
was depressed or sad, but Ireally was like I was just lost.
(09:33):
I was whatever, just going withthe flow, getting through day
by day, and realized like that'snot a way to live life.
There's so much more for mylife, you know, and I'm 51, so
turning 50 was like, oh, becauseso all this happened like right
at like 50-ish, 4950.
(09:54):
So I think there's a lot ofthat, like, oh my gosh, you
know, but then I'm like, oh, Ihave the then Sally's in our
class, and I'm like, I have awhole lifetime ahead, and you
know, we can make a choice todayto do something different, and
the making a choice for yourselfis gonna better you and
(10:14):
everyone around you.
Like, I just the differenceswith you know, my children, my
grandchildren, um having thesedeeper conversations because
everything was like, oh, problemthis, problem that, and like
solving this, and now we'retalking more on a spiritual
level or like um healing ouremotions and healing our hearts
(10:36):
and you know, feeling ourfeelings and talking about those
kind of things.
And my granddaughter's 12, andI'm trying to have like help her
deal with the emotions, youknow, as a teenager and have
make better choices and justhave a better connection to
herself.
So that's super exciting, andand watching that, the little
(10:57):
changes that I've seen already.
And I'm like, this is working,this is amazing.
And if she can from 12 startthis way, and my daughter's in
her 30s, like I'm like, just doit, take care of you.
AnantaRipaAjmera (11:11):
Oh, I love that.
That's so beautiful.
That's so amazing.
The ripple effect that we canhave in our families just by
really committing to doing somesmall things that support us
that we become what we want ourchildren and grandchildren to
be, right?
Instead of just saying, you dothis, you do this, while I go do
(11:32):
this, right?
Right.
CherylMontanez (11:34):
Yeah, talking about what we all should do.
AnantaRipaAjmera (11:37):
Right.
Like so much of what happens asas leaders, right?
Whether parents or teachers orcoaches or healers or podcast
hosts, even it's like easy tojust say what the other person
should do.
It's much more difficult, Ithink, to actually walk that
path ourselves.
And yet I feel like that's thekey, right, to leadership, to
(11:58):
really good parenting, toplanting the seeds that you
actually want to grow in otherpeople is that you actually live
that life yourself.
And then a lot of that conflictgoes away, right?
Of like what you want them todo, and then they see the power
of it through your examplerather than you know, just like
exhausting your energy trying toexplain it and and you know,
(12:21):
have people do that.
What kind of resistances aroseas you began moving from feeling
emotionally numb to reallyawakening your heart?
CherylMontanez (12:33):
Well, I've always been um a proponent of,
well, I'd rather be this way andnumb than emotionally out of
control, right?
Like I've never seen like thepositive in that meltdown or um
the world is on fire andeverything is horrible.
And then I even say the same,like we're both living the same
(12:56):
world in the same life in thesame world, right?
Everything around us is thesame, and how you're dealing
with it and how I'm dealing withit, like is two totally
different ways.
Like mine is more of a leveland yours is more of a you know,
up and down or um chaotic, butwe're still getting the same
result.
So we could take the hard road,we could take the easy road,
(13:18):
but there is a level of puttingpeople off that way too.
Like I think that not beingable to be open um and as
emotional, like also pushespeople away.
So it's trying to find thebalance of not being overly
(13:42):
emotional, let like the worldcome crashing down on me, but
also understanding and feelingand um embracing the emotions as
they come, recognizing them.
I mean, my first steps are justeven recognizing that um
there's more emotions thanfrustrated or angry and calm and
(14:05):
saying I love you, you knowwhat I mean, and and feeling I
love you, you know, and havingthose differences.
So like I think just startingto recognize my own feelings in
the moment, especially instressful moments, and trying to
then not react, you know, havea conscious thought.
(14:25):
Um, but yeah, it is identifyingfeelings first.
AnantaRipaAjmera (14:32):
Yeah, yeah, I remember when we talked about uh
this equation, uh, or twoequations actually in our
program when we were exploringthe heart chakra that Swami
Parthasarti reveals and whatyour you know reflections were
on it, because he says love plusselfishness equals attachment.
(14:53):
Attachment minus selfishnessequals true love.
And I remember you had saidthat you were the kind of person
who would always say, I loveyou, I love you.
And this actually caused you topause and reflect, hey, what is
love actually?
CherylMontanez (15:09):
Right.
Yeah, I did pause and reflectto see it like have I actually
ever been in love?
So my family never said I loveyou or gave hugs, like we
weren't that type of family.
It was a tumultuous, you know,fighting and then just normal,
or fighting and then justnormal.
Um, but as I had I had mydaughter at 18, and when she was
(15:35):
two or three, you know, orprobably older than that, maybe
five or six, but where you'restarting to like time out and
you know, your behavior, likedisciplining and whatever, it
one day just dawned on me, like,you know what?
I never I was following thosesame habits.
I she was getting in trouble.
And again, me, I'm notemotional, so it was just nope,
black and white, you break therules and da-da-da, and
(15:56):
whatever.
And you're in there crying andhaving your thing.
And um, I realized I needed tomake sure that I said I love you
and that you know um thatyou're loved.
I love you, but you're stillgonna be in timeout for 20
minutes.
Yeah.
Um, and also I hadstepchildren, so I knew it was
(16:17):
important.
I don't know how I knew, but itwas just um given to me that it
was very important to make surethat they knew I loved them
before um any discipline camefrom me.
So initially I neverdisciplined, you know, I just
talked to them and whatever andlet their parents just do that
kind of thing.
(16:38):
So to establish that love.
My dad adopted my brothers, andso there, I was that kind of
family anyway.
And I think that's probablywhere that came from.
So as a step parent, you needto like love first, and then um,
you know, then you can haveyour comments or discipline or
whatever.
So that came years later.
So I think that was kind ofduring that time, and it was
(16:59):
part of that.
Then I started saying thewords, you know, I love you, and
saying it all the time.
Like, so now my family is alltrained.
When we get off the phone, it'sI love you, like my daughter's
best friends, like we all say Ilove you.
Um, but the men in my life havealways been like, oh, use that
like throwaway.
So I think I did go full fromnone at all to okay, everybody
(17:24):
needs to know that they're lovedbecause I never heard that.
I remember one day saying it tomy mom on the phone because it
became a habit.
And when I was saying goodbyeto my mom, I was like, hey, love
you, bye.
And then she gives and didn'tknow what to say because our
family didn't say it.
And I hung up and laughedbecause I was like, oh, I didn't
even mean to say it to herbecause I knew it would throw
(17:45):
her off.
Um, but then I just started,you know, the best way through
it is just to keep doing it.
So I trained my mom and my dadand my kids to say it.
And so when you said that theequation, um, it did make me
think of my relationships andthat, huh?
I want there's always beenattachment in all of my
(18:08):
relationships.
So you do businesses togetherand you know, the kids and
stepkids and whatever.
So there's always becomes thethings.
And I don't know that I've everhad true love because it's
always been a rational, logical,not you know, not so much of an
emotional um decision making.
(18:30):
I mean, there's some emotionsobviously to get you there, but
then it was like, oh, move intogether because it makes more
sense to not pay two rents.
Um, you know what it was alwayslogic that brought it to
whatever, you know, next step,next step, and probably sooner
than necessary because I learneda lot in our class.
(18:51):
And I'm like, wow, I think it'samazing the way that you go
through your relationships andand are doing that.
I love hearing about it.
Um, but yeah, that there's thebalance and like having that
being trained to say I love youversus feeling those feelings of
I love you and how um theattachment, like even with our
(19:15):
kids, you know, we love thembecause they're our kids, you
know, and so and there is that'sa huge attachment.
Um, you know, and would it bethere without?
And I do know, I do love all mykids and I would still be in
their lives.
Um, but yeah, the attachmentthing was kind of profound and
made me have to think that makesyou kind of sad.
AnantaRipaAjmera (19:39):
It it does because it makes us reflect like
what kind of expectations arecoming with that love, what kind
of desires do we have for whatthe person should be doing?
Where is that you know,manipulation and control
potentially also even cominginto the love, right?
Like with codependency, I feellike it's so much of that where
(20:00):
it's like we we can do thingsfor people, but there's always
this kind of expectation thatsomething is uh going to happen
as a result of it.
And when we start to examinethose desires and expectations
and really consciously releasethem, it allows so much more
space, I think, for the truelove to really blossom.
(20:22):
Because when we don't uh havethose desires, right?
Like that's uh kind of what theselfishness is.
It's not about what you do ordon't do, because you can do all
the things, right?
And more things for someone,but still very much have
attachments and expectations forwhat they will, or entitlements
rather, right?
Like entitlement andexpectations for what they
(20:44):
should do as a result of whatyou're doing.
And when we can just feel theattachment without any of the
extra stuff, right, that goeswith it, it's so beautiful to
have that love just getpurified, right?
And be really like the realtrue thing.
CherylMontanez (21:03):
Right.
And I think that at thebeginning of relationships, that
that's the trick, right?
Because it feels like that.
You're like meeting people andtalking and all you whatever you
say and everything's funny, youknow what I mean?
And all of our like resistancesare down, and it's crazy how
quick, like one little thing.
Um, you know, as the dynamicstarts to change, then you're
(21:25):
like, huh.
Whereas if yes, you so it'sjust because at the beginning,
it's not that we're fake, butit's just that we're so much
more open.
And and then we slowly start tolearn, like people's like, oh,
that didn't go over well.
So let me not, you know, and westart adjusting.
So it's noticing that.
And um, and that's one bigthing that I've done over this
(21:47):
during this course and um thecourse of the last year and a
half of just going through thisis noticing who are attacked.
Like, I've kind of gotten ridof, I'm like, we're not really
friends.
Like, I do business with youand we go to dinner, but that
it's not like a friendship, likeyou don't call to see if I'm
okay, or uh you know, it's justbecause we I provide a service
(22:11):
and let me see if I don't dodinner, you know what I mean?
And and it's changed somerelationships, but it's okay.
It's also like a negative, youknow, person that I'm always
trying to fix or help, like notsee things that way.
And I'm like, yeah, I don'tneed to spend my energy doing
that.
So I mean, outside of you know,relationships, romantic
(22:33):
relationships, just in in life,evaluating that differently has
really opened my eyes.
Yeah, giving me back some of myown time for me.
AnantaRipaAjmera (22:44):
Totally, totally, yeah.
Yeah, so how has embracing moreof your own self-love changed
your relationships, would yousay, with others?
You you shared a little bitabout it, but is there any other
way?
CherylMontanez (22:56):
Yeah, the um I think I realized I have way, you
know, a lot of the things thatI do is energy work, right?
With Reiki and Emotion Code.
Um, so one of the things that Istarted realizing the more I'm
learning about energy and how itworks and like attracts like,
which is said all the time inAyurveda, right?
So emotions too.
(23:17):
If you worry, and I again feellike I'm just a calm baseline
person.
I don't worry about things andI do inside my head.
I'm going, oh, they're gonnareact like this.
Let me try to massage itbecause I don't want emotional
reactions from people.
I want everybody to just stayhappy and be calm and continue
(23:40):
doing what we're doing on thepath.
And so I start manipulating howI'm presenting things and
worrying about it.
And what I realize is that'sjust sucking.
If somebody has that energy onthe surface, I am just sucking
it right.
But as soon as I worry aboutit, I'm just sucking it right
out of them and into me.
So I really started justsaying, I just have love and
(24:01):
gratitude in my heart.
I'm filling this car with loveand gratitude.
Like if I know someone'sgetting in that already is like
frustrated or whatever, and I'mjust like filling the car with
love and gratitude and fillingmy space.
And it's wild how much thatworks.
And then, and so I tend to say,like, it's me.
(24:21):
And then people are, you know,your friends and people around
you are like, no, it's not, youknow, this isn't okay, and
that's not okay, and peoplecan't act like that.
I go, I get it, the behavior isnot right from the other
person, but we have so much morecontrol than we realize, and
I'm realizing it more and more,and like it's always eye-opening
(24:42):
and amazing as those littlethings, you know, this I because
I noticed when I stopped doingit, and I'm like, Oh, I need to
go back to, you know,reaffirming just love and
gratitude in my heart, and umkind of pulling that out of
people and you know, walkingaround the grocery store with a
smile on my face and making eyecontact with people.
Because one of the onesomething that I realized when I
(25:06):
did come back around andstarted feeling happier or
really being happier.
Um, when I would go to thegrocery store or the store
wherever, I people would alwaysbe like, Oh, hi, like just give
me a random, you know, peoplewould just start talking to me,
but it's because my eyes were upand my face, like I really did
have some joy in me, you know?
(25:26):
And as I was in that little bitof a depressed time, I was
like, Yeah, nobody even talks tome anymore when I'm in a store,
like I must be getting old orblah, blah, blah.
Don't, you know, I don't look.
And I realized, no, it's mywhole energy.
I wasn't attracting people theway that I was, has nothing to
do with appearance andeverything to do with, you know,
(25:47):
me looking up, smiling, andfeeling good.
And then people would just wantto be like, hey, and me, and I
would initiate too.
I if I make eye contact withyou, I'll say hi and just give
that extra niceness to somebodythat needed, or if it looks like
they needed a hug from a notthat I hug strangers, but you
(26:07):
know, like just the to say thehi and you know, give somebody
some attention that they weren'texpecting, you know, randomly.
So yeah, I did, and then once Ikind of perked out of it, I was
like, oh, see, there it isthere, and that's that natural.
Then I thought it was me andjust the look on my face, but
now I realize it's the energythat I'm generating and putting
(26:30):
out and what and I'm attractingnegativity to myself.
So we fulfill our ownprophecies.
All the things and wives' talesand sayings are there for a
reason.
They're all true.
AnantaRipaAjmera (26:45):
Totally, totally.
I love that.
And that's really the purelove, right?
Coming through because whenyou're just radiating that joy
and kindness to people withoutexpecting anything from them to
do, you know, that's when thereal love has a chance to
blossom and to be there first inour heart, right?
(27:05):
For ourselves.
Because we often abandonourselves, right?
We neglect ourselves intohelping other people, and
especially those of us who areeven healers by our our you
know, uh our calling, we can getreally sucked into that and
totally forget about ourselvesin the process and get rewarded
for it in different ways.
But then we ultimately pay aprice at some point, right?
(27:28):
And we all have to do thatreckoning and reflection within
ourselves.
And so, what what practices orinsights from the become the
hero of your own journey programwould you say specifically
helped you to reconnect with thepower of your own heart?
CherylMontanez (27:45):
So the most profound um I would have to say
was the silence.
Um when we did that chapter,and um, you know, you
recommended a whole day ofsilence, and I was like, whoo, I
got my two hours in themorning, like you know, that's
and I felt good about it.
I was like, yeah, that's when Ithink it started really
(28:07):
layering in that my morningroutine has really given me some
balance.
And I didn't realize I had sucha good one, like until talking
to everyone.
And I mean, I'm justanalytical, so I have an Excel
spreadsheet checklist to try totrack it, plus you know, all the
vitamin, all the things I'mtrying to track.
So um, but I have this ritualand I felt good about it, but I
(28:30):
was like, wow, I don't know if Icould do a whole day.
And um, we went hunting in thewoods, my first hunt, and I sat
in a blind by myself for 16hours.
Um, and you can't make a soundand you can't do anything.
And um I sent some reiki energyout into the woods and I did
some meditation and somehealings and whatever.
(28:52):
I called in a ton of animals,like um, so I saw all kinds of
wildlife in a beautiful thing.
And you don't have technology,you have your phone, but
reception is sketchy, and thenthe phone's gonna die, and I
needed to hike my way back outbecause I would get lost.
So I had to reserve mybatteries.
Um, and one day after thatclass, I think it was the second
(29:14):
hunt, um my phone didn't chargeat night.
So by 11 o'clock, I didn't haveany battery.
And I was like, huh, becauseI've been reading a book or
doing some emotion codes.
And I, what am I gonna do?
I didn't bring the hardbackbook this time, and but I had
brought my notebook from class.
So I said, let me go throughand do any homework that I
(29:36):
didn't do, or any of the umpractices that you know we pick,
we could pick one or whatever,and there were three or four.
So I had gone back, and one ofthose was writing a letter.
Um it was unspoken resentment.
Um, also writing a letter tomyself, writing a letter to my
(29:57):
emotions, um, and writingletters.
To someone that there was aresentment, or we made a list of
people.
So I did write the letter tomyself.
Um, that invoked a few tears,and it was amazing with the free
writing, it does start coming.
And I'm not a writer when Ijournal it's today.
I did so this one writing aletter to myself.
(30:20):
I had one other time done itbefore, so a little bit of
practice um months and monthsago.
So that one was a little biteasier writing a letter to my
emotions, and I think theinstructions were to talk about
how it had served me, um, andthen how it no longer serves me
and how I want to move past it.
(30:41):
So that was really cool.
So this is all kind of leadingup to then the name was like,
check, okay, got that done,check, got that done.
Okay, the next one isresentment.
And I had made a list of youknow, my ex-husband, um
different people on the listthat I thought that's who in the
moment, those were the onesthat popped to my mind.
(31:01):
And my mom and dad were onthere, but they were lower on
the list.
And I was like, you know what?
I'm gonna write to I wrote tomy dad, I think, my father
first, and then my mom, and Iwas sitting in there just tears
running down my face.
Um, it was the middle of theday, so I really wasn't too
worried about animals coming inbecause they were all bedded,
(31:21):
but I was just going to town andcrying and kind of feeling it,
and at the same time stoppingand noticing, like, huh, I
really needed to get these out.
And I it's things that Ithought, but I never said it in
that manner of saying it to themthrough a letter.
Like, like I'm really sayingthis to you.
(31:41):
I've always excused, not excusethe behavior, but justified or
however you want to say, youknow, like, oh, there I always
look at your upbringing and yourtraumas that you've gone
through.
We've all gone through traumas,so like we're all here in a
different way, and no one's outthere going, I want to hurt
people.
It's just it happens, and Idon't want to intend on hurting
(32:05):
people, but it I hurt people.
So I kind of give everybodythat grace.
And of course, I've explainedaway bad parenting and all of
that, all of our upbringing, um,to be able to not hate my
parents for it or be resentfuland all that kind of thing.
So yeah, I actually said thosethings in a different way for
(32:29):
the first time and bawling,crying out in the middle,
nowhere thinking I'm by myselfand then hearing footsteps and
like, oh, I'm supposed to behunting.
There's an animal coming, andit wasn't an animal, it was
strangers, and they walked up,and I probably had the girl was
like, hi, but thankfully inhunting, you don't stay in chat.
You're like, oh, sorry, Iintruded on your space, and you
move away.
(32:49):
But I just and it made megiggle, so it was a nice like um
way to pull out and um kind ofrecap of where I was, but it was
great, and I intend to finishwriting letters to all the rest
of the people just to kind ofrelease it and and say the
things that we don't say becausewe don't want to hurt people's
(33:10):
feelings.
And some I don't think it needsto be actually said.
There's nothing, it's all stufffrom the past, right?
Like there's no changing it.
Um, and I've always said I'mwho I am for all the things that
I've been through.
I don't remember them, butprobably because they're
traumatic, but it's mysuperpower of you know, not
(33:31):
remembering.
Um, but I am who I am becauseof all those things, because of
all the scars and all of thethings that have made me who I
am, and I'm happy with who I am.
So that's all I can ask for,and it's fine.
Um, and I'm not trying to placeblame, you know, if those
things hadn't happened, I mightbe a totally different person,
(33:51):
but right not without problem.
You know, it would just be adifferent.
So I am okay with who I am andand where I made it to.
And it's just exciting to bekind of letting some of that
stuff go that I didn't evenrealize I was holding on to.
And that's where motion codeand Reiki and all of that, like
releasing those energies becauseit's just attracting those same
(34:15):
emotions on that same level.
Like I was attracting thatsomehow, you know, by keeping
all of those things inside me.
So yeah, the silence was thatwas probably the best release,
the best hunting trip ever.
And I didn't get anything.
AnantaRipaAjmera (34:35):
Well, the whole purpose of the journey is
that we defeat the inner demons.
So you hunted your own innerdemons, right?
And that's the best thing youcan possibly do.
I love that.
Yeah, that's a really powerfulpractice.
And for someone who is feelingso numb to then be bawling, like
you mentioned you were, I thinkthat was a big, big
(34:57):
transformation in your journeyand it really does cleanse and
release so much.
I I found a lot of benefit indoing that myself for sure with
multiple people.
And I think it's a really goodpractice to do anytime we are
feeling kind of full of emotionsthat we don't know what to do
with.
And the whole purpose of it is,like you said, not to send into
(35:18):
that person, but just to clearit out of our own aura or our
own energetic field.
So, Cheryl, if you could speakto the younger Cheryl, one who
may have closed off her heart toprotect herselves and just be,
you know, even keeled and gowith the flow of what everyone
else wants.
What would you say to her nowfrom the perspective that you
(35:43):
have now at 51 with the kind ofjourney you've been on?
CherylMontanez (35:49):
But I understand probably why the shields were
put up.
Um but to do your best to holdon to to yourself, like not to
lose that inner child or justthe who you are, because I I
(36:11):
think it started really, youknow, far back um as a child,
just being, you know, the lastkid, you know, we all have the
with the middle child and theoldest child, all the the things
and the studies, and you know,we know.
And so I'm the oops kid thatyou had way later, and I'm sure
there was resentments and all ofthose kind of things.
(36:33):
And even with learning withemotion code, like absorbing
whatever emotions my mom wasgoing through when you didn't
mean to get pregnant at 30 withthe man that you probably
weren't in love with anymore,uh, you know, and all of those
things.
So I was born into that.
And I was born kind of like awallflower, kind of just, you
(36:56):
know, my I think my nextyoungest brother was nine years
older than me.
So there's a big gap.
Um, a lot of great things camewith that because then I was
like when I was old enough, Iwas the cute little kid to take
around with them and attractgirls for the boys, you know,
and and so there's some likethere's the good and the bad.
But I think I for the mostpart, I was just um yeah, like
(37:23):
over there, you know, not um notto be seen or heard, or you
know, just try to stay off theradar and stay out of the way.
Um, and that probably startedbuilding that.
So if I could be a biggerpersonality, or you know what I
mean, like hold find myself andand be that person and and kind
(37:46):
of hold on to that wouldprobably be just so that I knew
there was a little bit of meleft once I got here to find
because it's hard to find.
I don't know.
I was so I think I was so longthat way that I really don't
know what kind and without thememories, I don't know what kind
of kid I really was or what youknow.
(38:07):
I mean, I was a tomboy, I doknow that we played with guns
and did that kind of stuff.
So I mean it wasn't allhorrible, but um yeah, maybe
that's why I hunt now because Iwas a tomboy then, so it came
through.
I did hold on to a little bitof it.
AnantaRipaAjmera (38:26):
You do deep hunting, you know, you hunt for
the hidden emotions, yes, yourwisdom, you hunt down your
demons, so it's the best kind ofhunting there could be.
CherylMontanez (38:38):
Right, yeah, and I've been doing that, yes.
AnantaRipaAjmera (38:42):
And what would you say now it feels like to
love yourself more fully thanever before, even amidst
challenges or uncertainty?
CherylMontanez (38:53):
It is freeing.
Um, I would say like it givesme a new look on life of there's
a lot more life, and every day,like I can be something
different, I can choosesomething different, and
nothing's nothing's stuck,nothing is like who cares
(39:13):
whatever the past has been, andI can change if I'm not happy
and something um I can make youknow that change, not that I'm
rationally, you know, orirrationally going crazy making
changes, but noticing if I don'tlike it, okay, that what can I
do about it?
Let me like change this orchange that.
Um and it's okay.
(39:37):
It's like there's a lot of lifeleft, and there even though I'm
just now getting into this, andI do feel like it was probably
my life's work what I shouldhave been doing from a long time
ago, we're here now.
And and that's okay.
It's okay to be where you'reat.
And we all get there.
(39:58):
And it's exciting, it makes itexciting.
AnantaRipaAjmera (40:02):
Totally, totally.
And you know, in the BhagavadGita, Krishna says that no
effort on the spiritual pathever goes to waste.
No matter when we start thisjourney, how late it may feel in
the life cycle, it's really webelieve in reincarnation, so
it's just the beginning, thenupsetting the to uh create the
(40:24):
next one, right?
To start exactly where youleave off in this uh chapter.
And you mentioned about Sally.
Sally is our amazing82-year-old um program member,
community member of the ancientway, the circle of life.
And she was a part of theheroes journey with Cheryl.
And um, I'm gonna have her onthe podcast as well, share about
(40:45):
her powerful journey.
But she is such a livinginspiration of that, right?
That you know, at 82, she'sstill learning so much and still
discovering so much.
She just got back from a bigepic trip to Europe.
And, you know, like life onlystops once we stop learning and
stop growing.
And so the whole purpose or thewhole, you know, practice of
(41:10):
really being in your heart,being open to life is, I feel
what keeps us young alsoforever.
CherylMontanez (41:17):
Yes, and the knowing that I'm preparing for
my next life is kind of amazing,right?
And gives you that it doesn'tmatter because whatever I can do
here just makes the next lifethat much more amazing.
And and uh, you know, it's allfor a purpose and a reason and
um and looking into those pastlives of like what the heck was
(41:40):
going on, it helps explain,right?
AnantaRipaAjmera (41:46):
Yeah, what's going on in the present, but but
all that matters is the storythat we tell here and now,
right?
CherylMontanez (41:54):
Yes, and yeah, and exploring just finding you
and finding what you're callingand what you naturally have
within you to that makes youyou, that makes you on your
journey.
That's what's exciting.
So I do find and it's funny,like I said, like things that
(42:14):
I'm like, oh, this is a wholenew me, but it's not.
There's been such littlesprinkles of this throughout my
whole life.
I love Deepak Chopra.
The first time I ever seen himon Oprah, I was like, wow, I
love that.
And it totally let when Ire-found Ayurveda, I was like,
oh, this is what I neverremembered how to say Ayurveda.
(42:35):
So I was like, whatever DeepakChopra is into, and you know, is
what really interests me, but Inever, you know, went down the
road.
It seemed so overwhelming.
So, but once you start, youknow, one bite at a time, like
Tara's book would be an amazingbook for anyone to like step
into it slowly.
(42:55):
Um, but yeah, it is it, itisn't big things, it's a lot of
little things and understandingthat all these little things add
up.
And I just love the ancientwisdom and you know, nothing
Western.
Let me come back to whateverybody did back then before
it was real political and it wasjust natural in nature.
(43:19):
Um, and it makes so much sense.
And I love that science isproving all of it, like you
know, with the energy, with theemotion code, with Ayurveda, our
modern science is proving thatall of these practices and all
of these things are real and whythey work.
So, for my analytical mind, itso helps to go, ah, that's why
(43:42):
like attracts like, you know, itis like there is actual
scientific knowledge that wehave that proves it.
So it makes it so much easierto, you're not just grasping at
some unknown, or I've had a lotof trouble with faith, just
having faith, because I don'tthink everything, you know,
family-wise, having a roughfamily doesn't give you that
(44:05):
faith, that stay stablefoundation to be like, I can
trust this.
There hasn't been a lot oftrust.
Um, it's been all manipulationand and craziness.
So that I'm very science-y andlike to have the science behind
things.
So my journey started withtaking a natural path.
(44:25):
I just want to know how my bodyworks so I can figure it out
myself and know what I need totake and how to be better.
And it's you know, journeyedinto all of this, but yeah, it
makes sense.
Um, scientifically, you know,emotionally, spiritually, it's
opened me up to be allow myselfto be spiritual and you know,
(44:45):
not have to grasp a religion.
But I did read a book on youknow the Bhagavad Vita and was
like, oh, that makes so muchsense.
Why is it just not screamed,you know, like it's so open to
everybody.
It's the path.
One path leads to all, like tothe one, you know, the same.
All the paths go to the sameplace.
We're all, and I've always kindof believed that that's why I
(45:08):
don't like religion, man-madereligion.
I always say don't likeman-made religion, because
everybody has to be so right andtheir thing, and then there's
already a book out there thatsays like, no, it's all the
same, and it all leads to thesame place.
We're all doing the same thing,and I'm like, I didn't know
that existed.
So that's amazing, and it makesit so much easier to, you know,
(45:31):
some basic principles and bekind, and all the things that
religion teaches are great, youknow.
Um, it's just the judgy partthat I try to stay away from.
AnantaRipaAjmera (45:46):
Totally, totally.
Yeah, that's what's so coolabout Hinduism, that as a quote
unquote religion, it's actuallythe ultimate spiritual system,
which is saying that all pathslead to the same truth.
And when we have that love oftruth in our hearts, then God
also is here in our hearts.
And who is to say that oneversion of God is better or
(46:07):
greater than another?
They're all representing thesame one universal God or divine
consciousness, which connectsus all together in a beautiful
way.
And I love also about howAyurveda, the world's oldest
healing system that Deepaktoprahas introduced beautifully to
the world.
And I got to thank him fordoing that in person.
(46:29):
He you know has has broughtthat forward.
And now a lot of us are knowingabout that.
And I love how it gives usthese uh scientific principles,
which are really rooted in thelaws of physics to be able to
understand the order in thechaos and to really know why
we're doing what we're doing.
(46:50):
I was just actually speakingwith an Indian American uh woman
prior to us coming on for ourinterview, and she was exactly
sharing these things with methat, you know, even though I
grew up Hindu, it was soreligious.
Like people just do stuff, andI didn't know why we had to do
this and why we were beingprescribed so many things.
(47:11):
So even within this system, Iwould have a lot of confusion
because they just don'tunderstand the real essence
behind it.
And if we all have understoodthe essence behind any religious
or spiritual tradition, they'reall very pure.
They're all saying, you know,to be an ethical person, to do
good for others, to do good forourselves, to keep God with us
(47:31):
in our hearts.
You know that we don't evenhave to go to a religious
institution to find God, becausethat's actually what lives
inside of our own heart.
And that's why even in Islam,it's all about slaying the inner
demons, right?
To be able to discover your owntrue self.
And I love that we had a Muslimwoman as a part of our cohort
and how she connected with ittoo, as part of her own kind of
(47:55):
connection, along with what shebelieves in Islam as a
practicing Muslim.
And so yeah, like these arejust universal principles that
anyone and everyone should beable to embody to live a happy
and healthy life.
And I'm so excited that you'regonna be joining our eight-week
Take Health into your handsprogram starting up next week.
That's gonna be a wonderfuljourney to incorporate these
(48:18):
wellness practices and be ableto.
CherylMontanez (48:22):
I've had the book and I was like, did I read
it and go through it?
And I hadn't.
Um, I fell in love with thefirst one and then bought
everything, you know, bought it,went and looked for what else
you had and realized this oneisn't on um the audio, you know,
it's on an audio book.
So I mostly listen and I waslike, that's why.
(48:44):
So I never actually sat.
So I'm actually kind of gladbecause I'll go through it in
the class and so it'll all bemore fresh and um going through
it.
But yes, I'm very excited tokind of get the rest of the
rituals and practices and figureout my long-term practices and
um eating and the digestion andhormone balancing.
(49:08):
I mean, that's kind of beenthis all started just like on a
health journey as well, butturned into a spiritual journey.
But obviously, it all is onething.
You have to have all thebalance and everything.
So yeah, so slowly just pullingall the pieces together and
trying to learn to juggle.
AnantaRipaAjmera (49:30):
I love it, I love it.
Yeah, you know, actually,Cheryl, the IRV the way book
that you just showed, that wasmy first book that came and The
Way of the Goddess was thesecond.
So yeah, this was my my ownkind of beginning of my journey.
And then it deepened into thespiritual aspects and
understanding.
But I think the IRV the wayjust gives such a great
(49:52):
foundation that I still amexcited to go back through
myself.
Like, okay, what am I tellingothers?
I I've now created the space assomeone who tells other people
ideas and practices what to dothat I gotta listen to what I'm
saying and I have to take timeto incorporate it as well, you
know.
So I feel like I go throughthese programs that I teach also
as a student, and it makes itmuch richer to be able to do it
(50:16):
that way, you know, and I'm I'mjust so excited to have you as a
part of that.
And so, how do you continue tonurture and protect your heart
as you move through daily life?
I'm sure we'll have to doanother episode after you finish
that program, but you know, asof right now, what what are
those practices that anchor you?
CherylMontanez (50:36):
Um, the silence I think is like been the most
impactful.
Um, having my morning, like Ididn't even realize it how
impactful, but just that morningtime of getting up early before
anyone else, making my teas.
I sit outside in the sun, um,do my gratitude journal.
(50:57):
Um, you know, like it's thelayering.
I also listen to Gary Brecca,so I'm like trying to layer in
all the, you know, the healthstuff as well, but um, you know,
the Sarcadian rhythm, but itall ties into back to Ayurveda
as well with you know, sleepritual.
Actually, that's been a bigone, like making sure you go to
(51:17):
sleep at the same time andgetting up at the same time,
trying to get the seven to eighthours um and just incorporating
that.
But my what I'm really workingon right now is trying to slow
down.
I think you and I talked aboutit at the beginning, like I can
talk and I'll just talk and sayall the things that are floating
(51:40):
around in my brain without likereally pulling them together.
That's why I was nervous aboutthis.
Um being able to really likethink and have a fluid thought
um and not just say thingsbecause I tend to talk while I'm
(52:01):
thinking, and then that justmaybe I don't even mean the I'm
just thinking it through and Ilose, you know, the people
around.
So I think quietly like goinginside, being quiet, um and
identifying those emotions thatI am feeling, like okay, and
trying to identify if that's atrigger.
(52:21):
I got a reading and I uh wasshe said that um past
relationship, you know, has mademe guarded and different things
um that I bring into thisrelationship.
So I do tend to I do recognize,you know, things from my
childhood are triggers thatother people have, like, oh,
(52:41):
that's like triggering mebecause of my dad.
Um, but also just trying tocatch that and feel it all the
way through because of theemotion code.
I want to like not stop, notstuff down emotions.
I want to process them all theway.
So really kind of grabbing itand like, okay, I'm frustrated
and I want to stop and thinkabout it.
(53:02):
Why am I frustrated?
And um, because have you everbeen in a situation where you
see a couple like bicker andyou're like, that really wasn't
that big of a thing that thatperson said?
Like, why are they sofrustrated?
But it is all that built upanimosity in things, right?
So I'm trying to see that inmyself and go, okay, whatever
just got said was not even thatbig of a deal.
(53:23):
They're trying to be funny, letthem be funny, you know, and
like what did that reallytrigger?
What emotion can I releaseright now?
And like that to get them outof there.
So yeah, that's kind of beenthe the focus is relax and be
calm and try to feel the emotionall the way through and and
(53:46):
also identify as like what itwhere it really is coming from.
Because I think at this time inmy life, everything is just a
trigger of something.
You know, we're so built anddesigned to protect ourselves
from all the things.
So, oh, there's littleroadblocks.
So, like we start making ourown roadblocks in our life and
(54:08):
um just trying to like crashthose down and say, nope, it's
okay.
It's okay that I feel this way,it's okay that you feel this
way, and finding boundaries.
That's like probably the nextlearning how to speak my truths
with boundaries and and findinghow to set those boundaries.
AnantaRipaAjmera (54:29):
Yeah, yeah, wow.
I mean, in IRV that we talkabout how digestion is
considered the key to overallhealth, and that it's not just
of food.
We have to digest our emotions,we have to digest our life's
experiences, and that's so muchof where disease uh gets uh
anchored into the body andor themind, right?
(54:51):
It could be that the body isokay, but the mind has just got
a lot of disturbance that mayhave gotten deeply buried under
the needs of other people andconstantly responding to them
instead of allowing ourselves tojust feel pain, to feel a
discomfort, to feel sadness, tofeel anger, to feel loneliness
or frustration, like all thehuman range of emotions.
(55:13):
Because once we allow thatdigestion to happen, the
understanding of what the pasthas caused us to do in the
present, then the awarenessitself also allows us as a base
to make a new choice.
And when we are living fully inthe now, right, we are having
the most power to be able toenjoy life and to unwrap the
(55:36):
gift of each present moment.
So that's really what where allof this uh leads us to.
And I am just so happy thatyou're joining on for more
journeys and we have our circleof life community also to
continue this process ofdigestion in community.
We had our first uh medicinalstorytelling circle on Saturday,
(55:58):
and it was so amazing to havepeople of all ages, all stages,
all walks of life come togetherto share from all over the world
about what we've overcome inour lives and what was it that
allowed us to overcome thosechallenges because we can then
understand in each other'sstories, even what we're going
(56:20):
through now is the beginning ofsomething beautiful to come.
In the Book of Agita, Krishnahas says that what is like
poison in the beginning becomeslike nectar in the end, and
what's like nectar in thebeginning becomes like a poison
in the end.
So rather than just puttingaside the poison to choose the
(56:42):
nectar, we can see through thestories how the challenges and
the poison when we go through itand we take it in and we move
through that, allow us toexperience the nectar in the end
and how then we become morebrave to take on each challenge
and really uh feel our emotions,right?
Instead of running away fromthem.
(57:03):
And I feel like we do thatbetter when we do it together
and know that other people areon this journey as well.
So you'll have that space alsoto continue to process and
continue to share.
And we keep going through thesame um nine chakra theme each
time.
So I think when the heartchakra comes in, you know, we'll
have you open the circle andshare your story and we'll we'll
(57:26):
share the podcast with peopleas well.
And it's just a way that wekeep ourselves anchored in our
heroes' journey as we keep ongrowing and evolving, and that
way we also stay connected, youknow, to each other in this
heartfelt way, which uh is justso nice to know that there's
other warriors of the spirit outthere who are doing this
(57:46):
together.
Um, and this has been soamazing to talk to you.
And before we we close, I wantto just ask what advice would
you give, Cheryl, to someone whofeels disconnected from their
heart or the power of lovewithin themselves.
CherylMontanez (58:02):
I think what you were just saying, though, as
you were saying it, I realizedin this group I learned a lot
more than I expected.
Um, unexpected things.
Um, I don't have a lot ofailments and and physical
issues.
And like, you know, yourchecklist was like, what is your
butt?
And I'm like, yeah, I don'thave any of that.
(58:24):
Like, so I'm so grateful tothat, but that doesn't mean, you
know, it is mine's more mental.
My my mind is, you know, full.
But it it allowed in talking topeople and hearing everyone
else's stories and kind of beingthere, it does make you feel
like, okay, well, one, I'm notalone.
There are like people goingthrough this, like even with
(58:47):
Tara, with, you know, oh, she's,you know, becoming a
practitioner.
And it's been about five years,like you're able to see that
everybody's going through it, nomatter what age.
Um, and we're all on like thesame journey differently.
And um, so I think it is myadvice would be to get a group
of like-minded people, find yourpeople, find your tribe.
(59:08):
Um, you know, us walking intothat store that day opened up my
my world to a whole nothertribe, which led me here.
And, you know, I'm being partof the circle.
And um, I missed Saturday, butI'm trying to get to all of
them.
I was in all the others.
Um, but yeah, that's like youjust get so much insight from
(59:32):
hearing other people likedealing with the same things.
And um, and it's just nice liketo talk about like our group
was very small, like the five ofus, four of us, five of us.
Um so we all had enough time totalk, you know, we kind of
somebody had something come up,so we were able to like, you
(59:55):
know, coach each other throughit.
So I just think, yeah, findingsomething like this is.
Amazing.
AnantaRipaAjmera (01:00:03):
Oh, thank you so much, Cheryl.
This has been so wonderful toconnect with you.
And I know that your journey ofopening your heart and finding
the love within yourself isgoing to touch so many people's
hearts.
And I just want to inviteanyone who's listening to check
out the show notes for all thelinks to check out the programs
(01:00:25):
that we offer about takinghealth into your own hands,
becoming the hero of your ownjourney.
And if you don't know where youwant to start, then the Circle
of Life community is a wonderfulplace because we have a free
membership tier where you canjoin us live three times a month
to just share medicinal healingstories from your heart and
connect with the hearts ofothers from all over the world.
(01:00:47):
And it's an ongoing platformfor anyone who's wanting to or
committed to helping others togrow in some way, whether you're
a healer, a coach, a therapist,it doesn't matter.
But we're all healers andgivers who are learning to do so
from a full cup.
And we would love to invite youto join us for a beautiful
(01:01:09):
journey ahead.
And thank you again so much,Carol, for thank you for having
me.
CherylMontanez (01:01:16):
So wonderful.
Thank you.
AnantaRipaAjmera (01:01:18):
Thank you.
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