Over the weekend I saw at least two memes on social media talking about spanking. The
one that REALLY got me read, “my parents spanked me as a child. As a result, I now suffer from a psychological condition known as ‘respect for others.’” This belief has two really big problems with it. One, it assumes that that spanking kids is a good thing. It also suggests that children who are spanked develop increased respect for others. I think these memes should be required to cite their sources—and no, I don’t mean “as believed by this faithful believer in Facebook memes!” What was just as interesting is that, when I searched for this meme on
the web, I found the same one with thumbs up and thumbs down voting buttons. And this was as disturbing to me as the meme itself. For this meme there were 2379 thumbs up and 998 thumbs down. Of the 3,377 people who chose to vote on the sentiment, over 70%, said to themselves, “yep . . . for sure . . . kids need to be hit in order to whip ‘em into shape.” You’ve likely seen dozens of memes, social media posts, and direct statements from devout believers in spanking that the problem with kids today is that they just aren’t hit enough; they need
to be hit to keep them in line!
I know there are a lot of people out there who like to dismiss research—rather, it seems that there are people out there who like to pick and choose the research they believe in based upon their preferred habits, belief systems, and morals. So, in some ways I know that despite the huge, vast, amount of incredibly credible research that denounces any benefits of spanking kids there are going to be those that stand their ground, saying, “I don’t know . . . I was hit as a kid and I turned out great.” —maybe one of the benefits of spanking is that the kids will turn
out being unable to distinguish between and subjective reality.
So I thought I would talk a bit about the research that strongly points to spanking as entirely detrimental to kids—with no benefit whatsoever—at least no benefit that can’t be gained from other parenting approaches that DON’T have all of the negative consequences. Ok, so this is an important point . . . the reality is that any credible research out there supports the hypothesis that even if spanking can get parents the outcome they are looking for, it carries with it many enduring negative consequences to kids; and that it is very possible to get the same benefits—which really is compliance—we want our kids to comply with authority. But it is very possible that we parents can get our children to comply with authority using parenting approaches that actually add ADDITIONAL benefits with regard to our children’s emotional, psychological, and behavioral health.
What is Spanking?
Spanking is open-handed hitting that doesn’t physically harm the child and is done with the purpose of modifying the child’s behavior—and this has been done for many generations. But in the past 10 years or so, as the evidence has accumulated, you will find no major professional organizations, including the American Psychological Association and the American Academy of Pediatrics, supporting the practice of hitting our kids in order to change their behavior.
In fact, I implore you to send me one convincing article from a peer-reviewed academic journal—kind of the gold standard in reporting research results—or one statement from a respected professional organization that supports the practice of spanking or hitting our kids. In fact, in one article from a journal called Child Development Perspectives in 2013, they found that spanking is actually associated with LESS compliance from our children and can actually cause our kids to become MORE aggressive than they were before.
I would imagine that the person who posted the meme supporting a link between being hit and being respectful is saying right now, “maybe it’s just that aggressive kids are more likely to be hit.” But research simply disproves that; in fact,