February 5, 2024 • 18 mins
Have you ever caught yourself pouring love into others but struggling to sprinkle even a bit of that affection upon yourself? This Love Month, we venture into the heart of self-appreciation, moving past the generic self-love mantras and into actionable territory. My journey, laced with skepticism towards the usual self-love narratives, has led me to an epiphany that I'm thrilled to share with you. By harnessing the power of the Five Love Languages, we can transform the way we treat ourselves. This episode isn't just about feel-good talk; it's about hard-hitting, practical ways to show yourself the love you readily give to others, whether that's through personal treats, intentional solo time, or uplifting self-dialogue.
This is for you if you're ready to build a sturdy bridge to self-love that can withstand the weight of doubt and criticism. It's time to silence those objections about being too busy, too stressed, or too anything to focus on yourself. Let's explore how a simple note, a cherished coffee, or extra minutes under the warm shower can all be acts of self-affection. As you experiment with these strategies and share your triumphs, you'll see this is more than just self-care—it's a revolution in recognizing your own worth and fortifying your self-trust. So come along, listen in, and let's celebrate the love that starts with you.
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https://www.facebook.com/DanielleNicoleLaRose/
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https://www.daniellenicolelarose.com/
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Danielle La Rose (00:01):
Hi friend, it is Love Month, and by that I
mean at the time of recordingthis, it is now officially
February and so, if you arelistening to this in February,
happy February, and we are allabout love this month.
Right, we got Valentine's Dayand Gallantines Day and we're
just all about this love, andhere we are going to apply it to
ourselves by talking about howdo we create, how can we create,
(00:26):
more self-love.
Okay, I just be honest with you, because we're friends now.
I'm so tired of seeingself-love.
Gururus and I did air quotesthere telling us how to love
ourselves.
Just wear the bikini, just dothis, just say affirmations,
just b right, and it's so muchfluff.
(00:50):
And again, it works, for itworks.
I'm a fan of affirmations.
I'm a fan, okay.
However, if you're like me,you're probably like okay, this
is real fluffy.
I need concrete things, like Itruly struggle with loving
myself.
What can I actually do?
Things that are real, not thataffirmations aren't real,
(01:15):
because I'm about to talk aboutaffirmations in just a second
but more concrete, like how canI truly create more self-love?
Why am I?
I feel like I'm all over theplace, but I really just for me
so many things in this space inthe world are just so fluffy and
just so cute and just so like,just breathe in.
(01:35):
If you're someone like me, likeI'm hype, I'm turning up, I got
some hip hop going, I got some.
I'm on a different energy, adifferent vibe, and so I like to
just be giving concrete thingslike this will actually help you
create more self-love.
This will help you actuallylove your body in more tangible
(01:57):
ways than just like think abouthow much you love yourself.
You know, I'm just I'm, it'sjust, it's just not my jam.
Okay, if it's your jam, great,do you do what works for you.
But I'm gonna throw out adifferent idea, a different
system of strategies that youcan use to love yourself, using
the five love languages.
And again, I thought that thiswas perfect timing with this
(02:18):
month, that we really dig intothis.
So I want you to think about atime when you were dating
someone.
Right, you're that person.
Okay For me.
When I met my now husband thefirst couple of months, now I'm
like, can we please go back tothat?
No, I'm just kidding, he'sgreat.
(02:38):
But when I think back to that,I'm like man, he used to always
randomly bring me french friesand flurries.
I mean, the dude knew how toget you know, he knew how to win
me over.
It's not that, it's really notthat difficult.
And men are, or women if you'relistening and you're like, I
don't know how to make mypartner happy, food is probably
(02:59):
an answer okay, it just, it justis it.
Just, it really is.
So I remember he would do thosethings and then we spent so much
time together, right, and we,of course, we're hugging and all
the things, and then so we gotall this stuff and we have, and
then he would tell me howamazing I am, right, and I would
do the same thing for him.
Oh, my gosh, you're sowonderful, you're so cute,
(03:19):
you're just the best.
Right, I would do cute littlethings, right, I wanted to make
dinner and then you know like,and then I would get him like,
gifts, right, and then we wouldspend again so much time
together.
And so, when we think about therelationships that we try to
build, whether it's with aromantic partner or a new best
(03:41):
friend, especially as adults,right, what do you do with
friends?
My friend fusing me rollingwith a whole bunch of the
Blingie Starbucks cups.
My best friend buys those forme.
Okay, I don't even buy itmyself, just randomly she'll
bring me those.
I'm like, oh my gosh, that's sonice, right.
And then I see random Barbiethings and I buy it for her
because she's obsessed with theBarbie movie, you know.
And so we do these thingsbecause we want to show other
(04:05):
people love, right, we spendquality time, we tell them how
awesome they are, we do randomacts of kindness for them, we,
right, we give them hugs, wegive them gifts because we want
to show them how much we lovethem.
And also we want to impressthem and they want to do the
(04:25):
same for us.
And so, as I was thinking, youknow, not too long ago I really
struggled with my own body imageand confidence and I'm a work
in progress, just like everybodyelse.
But as I have studied throughmy education with sociology and
I taught at a college and youknow just my whole journey with
health and wellness, I really Iread the book the Five Love
(04:48):
Languages and I was like, wow,this is really cool.
But then I thought, hmm, whatif I could apply this to myself?
Right, this sounds great.
How do I show other people love?
But I think I'm pretty good attrying to make other people
happy my whole life.
I think that's what most girlsare taught, right?
Your goal is just to makeeveryone else's lives better.
You do everything for them.
(05:09):
What if I applied this tomyself and really tried to
create more self-love usingthese actions?
And so that's what I decided todo, and so I want to share with
you, and I want to challengeyou today.
If you are someone like me whois doing everything for everyone
else and you're constantlythinking about other people and
you put yourself last and you'rewondering why you're looking in
(05:32):
the mirror, struggling to lovewho you see and you maybe even
forget who you are, then I wantto challenge you to do some of
this today.
So, as we know, if you've neverread the Five Love Languages,
it's literally just sharing howwe receive love and how we can
(05:53):
build love with other people,right, based on their love
language.
So, for example, the first oneis words of affirmation, right,
telling other people howwonderful they are.
So how can we apply this toourselves to build our own
self-love If we know thatmajority of us feel love based
on with words of affirmation?
How do we give that toourselves, right?
(06:14):
And so that's where I was atthe beginning of this where I
was like you know, fluffyaffirmations, but it but
affirmations done in a way.
So what I would challenge youto do if you're like me and
you're like, affirmations aregreat, right, because when we
think of affirmations, we thinkof, I'm wonderful, I'm great,
I'm right.
You can even tell, by the way,I just started saying that it
just feels like something you'resupposed to repeat to yourself.
(06:35):
So I want to challenge you, asyou're going through this, to
build your own self-confidence.
When we're thinking about wordsof affirmation, can you look at
yourself in the mirror and saysomething that is true, right?
If I said, oh my gosh, danielle, your legs are so beautiful, I
love the cellulite on them, it'sso great, my brain instantly is
(06:58):
like what are you talking about?
That's not even close to whatyou think or feel.
Like that's that, it's so off.
Like it's so off, right.
Or if I said, danielle, you'reso wonderful, you're basically a
billionaire, I mean, come on.
So I think for a lot of us,when we think of affirmations,
if we've never done them before,we think of those things of.
You know, they're so big and sojust out there that they don't
(07:19):
even feel believable, so let'smake them believable.
So, your words of affirmation,yo, if you want to hype yourself
up like I use some of Eminem'slyrics as my affirmations I'm
like homegirl.
Like you are taking the actions.
I'm so freaking proud of you,right, like, do you realize what
you just did yesterday, do you?
(07:41):
Yo, you killed that workout.
Like, you modified the crap outof what you needed to and you
literally finished that workoutthat you didn't even think you
could.
Yes, girlfriend, right, and sothey.
This can literally beconversations with yourself,
hyping yourself up based off ofthings that have happened or
things that you're taking actionon.
So sure, if you're like youknow, I do want to be a
(08:02):
billionaire, great, but rightnow you might not be in that
mindset.
So what can you say now?
Right, did you earn a hundredextra dollars yesterday?
Where you can be likegirlfriend, do you see your bank
account is literally growing?
How freaking awesome is that?
Like, you're killing it.
Right, you're taking theactions, and so you're saying
things that are true and real,and while also saying things
(08:25):
that will challenge you and pushyou to see yourself in that
positive light.
So what are you going to startsaying to yourself?
Right, using the words ofaffirmation to show yourself
more love.
The next one is acts of service,so doing small things for other
people, right?
So, like I said, maybe cookingdinner for someone or you're
(08:46):
cleaning, or you're right, likeyou do something just completely
random to just surprise them,to be like, yeah, I did
something for you.
When was the last time you didsomething special for yourself?
Maybe it's taking yourself outon a date.
Maybe it's buying yourself thatbag that you wanted.
(09:06):
Maybe it's right.
Maybe it's just reading a bookin silence and that's your
active service to yourself.
Maybe it is cleaning.
Maybe like homegirl.
Like my house is a disaster.
You know, what would feelreally good to me is if my house
was clean, and so, like, I'mgoing to serve myself and do
that.
Now, if you're someone like me,that doesn't sound like a great
active service for myself.
If someone else did that for me, yes, that, but me doing it
(09:29):
doesn't make me feel loved.
Okay.
So it's all about you and whatwould feel good to you.
So what sort of acts of servicecan you do for yourself that
will help build your love withyou?
Because, look, at the end ofthe day, the five love languages
is to build a healthyrelationship.
We're trying to build a healthyrelationship with ourself.
We put so much energy andeffort into building
relationships with other peopleand we forgot to put the time
(09:52):
and the energy into building thehealthy relationship with
ourself.
So this is all.
Just.
How can I date myself?
Essentially, right.
How can I take her out on adate?
How can I, you know, give herheight messages?
How can I serve her?
How can I write these types ofthings?
The next one is physical touch,which kind of sounds funny when
you're thinking about self love.
But hey, girlfriend, you do,you, but you know you take
(10:15):
physical touch for yourselfhowever you want to.
I am going to say that physicaltouch could be really anything.
Maybe you need to pat yourselfon the back, literally, because
you don't give yourself enoughpraise.
Maybe you need to give yourselfa hug and again, that sounds
funny, but that's a real act oflove Hugging yourself, maybe
(10:41):
while saying your affirmationHug yourself.
How can you just be present,right?
Maybe it's holding your ownhand and just thinking about how
powerful you are and howgrateful you are.
Right, it can be so simple, butit's just making ourselves stop
(11:02):
in the day and pay attention tous, pay attention to who we are
, what we right, like I'mlooking at my, I'm literally
right now like looking at myhand and like you know when was
the last time you just looked atthe little lines on your hand?
You know, I don't know ifthere's any meaning to those,
but like huh, like I get to bemore present and aware with
(11:23):
myself, and so maybe that's allphysical touches, right?
You, you decide what that is,but how can you use physical
touch to build self-love withyourself?
And then the next one isobviously gifts, which is even
is this probably the simplestone?
And it can be a gift that isexpensive, if you desire, or it
can just be a simple gift, right?
(11:45):
Maybe writing yourself a notePeople love when they get notes,
a handwritten notes.
Maybe it's handwriting a noteto yourself.
Maybe it's a simple trip toStarbucks by yourself or
wherever you like to get yourcoffee and, you know, just
enjoying a coffee by yourself.
Maybe it's buying a pen I'mlooking at my favorite pens or
(12:10):
maybe it's buying a new hairproduct or maybe whatever.
You get the point right.
Show yourself in gifts, and itdoesn't need to cost a lot of
money, but show yourself somelove and appreciation with some
gifts or a gift whatever.
And the last one is quality time.
And I know many of you willfight me on this because you're
(12:32):
like, you know I don't have timeas that is and I get you,
sister, same.
But if you truly want to buildthat healthy relationship, think
about it.
If you met a new, if you wereon the hunt for a spouse and you
found someone and you were likeI'm sorry, I'm too busy to ever
hang out with you, I'll see youin three months, they'd be like
okay, well, I ain't got timefor that.
Like bye, so same with you.
(12:56):
Right, you deserve to have somequality time with yourself to
build that healthy relationship.
Because if you ignore that timewith yourself, you will never
build that healthy relationshipbecause you're not putting the
time and energy into it.
So in time can be simple.
Maybe it's sitting outside inyour car for five extra minutes
before you walk inside the houseand don't act like you don't
(13:17):
sit out in your car in silencebefore you go inside your house
I know you do.
Or maybe it's, you know, askingsomeone for help and taking
that time to go get a manicure.
Maybe it's, you know, spendinga few extra minutes in the
shower just with your thoughts.
Maybe it's taking the time toread a book or to watch your
(13:39):
favorite show that you never getto watch, or taking a nap,
right?
What is it that you can do byyourself to create?
And again, I'm not saying thisis easy, don't come at me and be
like I got kids, I got this, Igot that, I know.
Okay, I know.
I'm just saying can you find away to take five minutes for
yourself in some sort of way, tojust be present with yourself,
(14:02):
present with your thoughts, andto dig into this whole idea of
the five love languages, toreally build that healthy
relationship with yourself?
Because I know it's therelationship that you are not
pursuing, you're not investingin, you're not loving on, you're
not appreciating enough.
And if you would take the timeto build that healthy
(14:27):
relationship using the five lovelanguages again, because, like
I said at the beginning, thefluffy stuff is great, I'm all
about the fluffy stuff, it'scool, use it, do what works for
you.
But the five love languagesgives you literally five
different ways to treat yourself, as if you're in a relationship
(14:48):
with yourself, and I think weforget that we are.
We are the only one that we areever like.
This is the longestrelationship you're ever going
to be in is the one withyourself.
This is the only relationshipwhere you're going to hear the
thoughts and the true beliefsyour whole life.
(15:10):
So how can we grow thatrelationship in a healthy way to
truly build that confidence?
Because, at the end of the day,that's what this is all for.
When you really learn how tolove yourself and love who you
are and treat yourself in ahealthy, loving, respectful way,
it builds trust with you.
(15:33):
And we know that confidence issimply a trust and belief in
yourself.
So if you trust and believe inyourself because you focused on
that relationship with yourself,your confidence will start to
grow faster, stronger.
So if you desire moreconfidence, we got to start by
creating a healthy relationshipwith ourselves, and these are
(15:54):
five ways that you can do thatsimply, every single day, or
choose one each day to focus onto really build that
relationship.
Okay, I would love to hear fromyou, sister.
Are you trying these?
Can you try these?
Hit me up on social media, tellme all about it, tell me what
you did, share how it's goingfor you.
(16:15):
I would love to shout you outand really honestly, just hear
from more than I hear from myclients.
I hear from myself, but I wantto hear from you.
Did this work for you?
Did you enjoy this?
Is this a new way of viewingconfidence and self-love that
serves you, and I'd love to talkmore about it.
(16:36):
So hit me up, send it to me onsocial DM me, do all the things
and I hope and know that youwill have a powerful day because
you're making the decision togrow your healthy relationship
with yourself.
So until next time, my friend,thank you for being here, thank
you for listening.
If this served you and you'relike hmm, I think I know some
women that this could serve insupport, just click, share, like
(16:59):
.
Share this on your socials, tagme in your stories and the more
women that we can help buildtheir confidence and their
self-love and increase theirbody.
It's just so magical.
So we're in this together.
Let's do this.
Have a powerful day.
Goodbye, friend.
Hi friend, it is Love Month, and by that I
mean at the time of recordingthis, it is now officially
February and so, if you arelistening to this in February,
happy February, and we are allabout love this month.
Right, we got Valentine's Dayand Gallantines Day and we're
just all about this love, andhere we are going to apply it to
ourselves by talking about howdo we create, how can we create,
(00:26):
more self-love.
Okay, I just be honest with you, because we're friends now.
I'm so tired of seeingself-love.
Gururus and I did air quotesthere telling us how to love
ourselves.
Just wear the bikini, just dothis, just say affirmations,
just b right, and it's so muchfluff.
(00:50):
And again, it works, for itworks.
I'm a fan of affirmations.
I'm a fan, okay.
However, if you're like me,you're probably like okay, this
is real fluffy.
I need concrete things, like Itruly struggle with loving
myself.
What can I actually do?
Things that are real, not thataffirmations aren't real,
(01:15):
because I'm about to talk aboutaffirmations in just a second
but more concrete, like how canI truly create more self-love?
Why am I?
I feel like I'm all over theplace, but I really just for me
so many things in this space inthe world are just so fluffy and
just so cute and just so like,just breathe in.
(01:35):
If you're someone like me, likeI'm hype, I'm turning up, I got
some hip hop going, I got some.
I'm on a different energy, adifferent vibe, and so I like to
just be giving concrete thingslike this will actually help you
create more self-love.
This will help you actuallylove your body in more tangible
(01:57):
ways than just like think abouthow much you love yourself.
You know, I'm just I'm, it'sjust, it's just not my jam.
Okay, if it's your jam, great,do you do what works for you.
But I'm gonna throw out adifferent idea, a different
system of strategies that youcan use to love yourself, using
the five love languages.
And again, I thought that thiswas perfect timing with this
(02:18):
month, that we really dig intothis.
So I want you to think about atime when you were dating
someone.
Right, you're that person.
Okay For me.
When I met my now husband thefirst couple of months, now I'm
like, can we please go back tothat?
No, I'm just kidding, he'sgreat.
(02:38):
But when I think back to that,I'm like man, he used to always
randomly bring me french friesand flurries.
I mean, the dude knew how toget you know, he knew how to win
me over.
It's not that, it's really notthat difficult.
And men are, or women if you'relistening and you're like, I
don't know how to make mypartner happy, food is probably
(02:59):
an answer okay, it just, it justis it.
Just, it really is.
So I remember he would do thosethings and then we spent so much
time together, right, and we,of course, we're hugging and all
the things, and then so we gotall this stuff and we have, and
then he would tell me howamazing I am, right, and I would
do the same thing for him.
Oh, my gosh, you're sowonderful, you're so cute,
(03:19):
you're just the best.
Right, I would do cute littlethings, right, I wanted to make
dinner and then you know like,and then I would get him like,
gifts, right, and then we wouldspend again so much time
together.
And so, when we think about therelationships that we try to
build, whether it's with aromantic partner or a new best
(03:41):
friend, especially as adults,right, what do you do with
friends?
My friend fusing me rollingwith a whole bunch of the
Blingie Starbucks cups.
My best friend buys those forme.
Okay, I don't even buy itmyself, just randomly she'll
bring me those.
I'm like, oh my gosh, that's sonice, right.
And then I see random Barbiethings and I buy it for her
because she's obsessed with theBarbie movie, you know.
And so we do these thingsbecause we want to show other
(04:05):
people love, right, we spendquality time, we tell them how
awesome they are, we do randomacts of kindness for them, we,
right, we give them hugs, wegive them gifts because we want
to show them how much we lovethem.
And also we want to impressthem and they want to do the
(04:25):
same for us.
And so, as I was thinking, youknow, not too long ago I really
struggled with my own body imageand confidence and I'm a work
in progress, just like everybodyelse.
But as I have studied throughmy education with sociology and
I taught at a college and youknow just my whole journey with
health and wellness, I really Iread the book the Five Love
(04:48):
Languages and I was like, wow,this is really cool.
But then I thought, hmm, whatif I could apply this to myself?
Right, this sounds great.
How do I show other people love?
But I think I'm pretty good attrying to make other people
happy my whole life.
I think that's what most girlsare taught, right?
Your goal is just to makeeveryone else's lives better.
You do everything for them.
(05:09):
What if I applied this tomyself and really tried to
create more self-love usingthese actions?
And so that's what I decided todo, and so I want to share with
you, and I want to challengeyou today.
If you are someone like me whois doing everything for everyone
else and you're constantlythinking about other people and
you put yourself last and you'rewondering why you're looking in
(05:32):
the mirror, struggling to lovewho you see and you maybe even
forget who you are, then I wantto challenge you to do some of
this today.
So, as we know, if you've neverread the Five Love Languages,
it's literally just sharing howwe receive love and how we can
(05:53):
build love with other people,right, based on their love
language.
So, for example, the first oneis words of affirmation, right,
telling other people howwonderful they are.
So how can we apply this toourselves to build our own
self-love If we know thatmajority of us feel love based
on with words of affirmation?
How do we give that toourselves, right?
(06:14):
And so that's where I was atthe beginning of this where I
was like you know, fluffyaffirmations, but it but
affirmations done in a way.
So what I would challenge youto do if you're like me and
you're like, affirmations aregreat, right, because when we
think of affirmations, we thinkof, I'm wonderful, I'm great,
I'm right.
You can even tell, by the way,I just started saying that it
just feels like something you'resupposed to repeat to yourself.
(06:35):
So I want to challenge you, asyou're going through this, to
build your own self-confidence.
When we're thinking about wordsof affirmation, can you look at
yourself in the mirror and saysomething that is true, right?
If I said, oh my gosh, danielle, your legs are so beautiful, I
love the cellulite on them, it'sso great, my brain instantly is
(06:58):
like what are you talking about?
That's not even close to whatyou think or feel.
Like that's that, it's so off.
Like it's so off, right.
Or if I said, danielle, you'reso wonderful, you're basically a
billionaire, I mean, come on.
So I think for a lot of us,when we think of affirmations,
if we've never done them before,we think of those things of.
You know, they're so big and sojust out there that they don't
(07:19):
even feel believable, so let'smake them believable.
So, your words of affirmation,yo, if you want to hype yourself
up like I use some of Eminem'slyrics as my affirmations I'm
like homegirl.
Like you are taking the actions.
I'm so freaking proud of you,right, like, do you realize what
you just did yesterday, do you?
(07:41):
Yo, you killed that workout.
Like, you modified the crap outof what you needed to and you
literally finished that workoutthat you didn't even think you
could.
Yes, girlfriend, right, and sothey.
This can literally beconversations with yourself,
hyping yourself up based off ofthings that have happened or
things that you're taking actionon.
So sure, if you're like youknow, I do want to be a
(08:02):
billionaire, great, but rightnow you might not be in that
mindset.
So what can you say now?
Right, did you earn a hundredextra dollars yesterday?
Where you can be likegirlfriend, do you see your bank
account is literally growing?
How freaking awesome is that?
Like, you're killing it.
Right, you're taking theactions, and so you're saying
things that are true and real,and while also saying things
(08:25):
that will challenge you and pushyou to see yourself in that
positive light.
So what are you going to startsaying to yourself?
Right, using the words ofaffirmation to show yourself
more love.
The next one is acts of service,so doing small things for other
people, right?
So, like I said, maybe cookingdinner for someone or you're
(08:46):
cleaning, or you're right, likeyou do something just completely
random to just surprise them,to be like, yeah, I did
something for you.
When was the last time you didsomething special for yourself?
Maybe it's taking yourself outon a date.
Maybe it's buying yourself thatbag that you wanted.
(09:06):
Maybe it's right.
Maybe it's just reading a bookin silence and that's your
active service to yourself.
Maybe it is cleaning.
Maybe like homegirl.
Like my house is a disaster.
You know, what would feelreally good to me is if my house
was clean, and so, like, I'mgoing to serve myself and do
that.
Now, if you're someone like me,that doesn't sound like a great
active service for myself.
If someone else did that for me, yes, that, but me doing it
(09:29):
doesn't make me feel loved.
Okay.
So it's all about you and whatwould feel good to you.
So what sort of acts of servicecan you do for yourself that
will help build your love withyou?
Because, look, at the end ofthe day, the five love languages
is to build a healthyrelationship.
We're trying to build a healthyrelationship with ourself.
We put so much energy andeffort into building
relationships with other peopleand we forgot to put the time
(09:52):
and the energy into building thehealthy relationship with
ourself.
So this is all.
Just.
How can I date myself?
Essentially, right.
How can I take her out on adate?
How can I, you know, give herheight messages?
How can I serve her?
How can I write these types ofthings?
The next one is physical touch,which kind of sounds funny when
you're thinking about self love.
But hey, girlfriend, you do,you, but you know you take
(10:15):
physical touch for yourselfhowever you want to.
I am going to say that physicaltouch could be really anything.
Maybe you need to pat yourselfon the back, literally, because
you don't give yourself enoughpraise.
Maybe you need to give yourselfa hug and again, that sounds
funny, but that's a real act oflove Hugging yourself, maybe
(10:41):
while saying your affirmationHug yourself.
How can you just be present,right?
Maybe it's holding your ownhand and just thinking about how
powerful you are and howgrateful you are.
Right, it can be so simple, butit's just making ourselves stop
(11:02):
in the day and pay attention tous, pay attention to who we are
, what we right, like I'mlooking at my, I'm literally
right now like looking at myhand and like you know when was
the last time you just looked atthe little lines on your hand?
You know, I don't know ifthere's any meaning to those,
but like huh, like I get to bemore present and aware with
(11:23):
myself, and so maybe that's allphysical touches, right?
You, you decide what that is,but how can you use physical
touch to build self-love withyourself?
And then the next one isobviously gifts, which is even
is this probably the simplestone?
And it can be a gift that isexpensive, if you desire, or it
can just be a simple gift, right?
(11:45):
Maybe writing yourself a notePeople love when they get notes,
a handwritten notes.
Maybe it's handwriting a noteto yourself.
Maybe it's a simple trip toStarbucks by yourself or
wherever you like to get yourcoffee and, you know, just
enjoying a coffee by yourself.
Maybe it's buying a pen I'mlooking at my favorite pens or
(12:10):
maybe it's buying a new hairproduct or maybe whatever.
You get the point right.
Show yourself in gifts, and itdoesn't need to cost a lot of
money, but show yourself somelove and appreciation with some
gifts or a gift whatever.
And the last one is quality time.
And I know many of you willfight me on this because you're
(12:32):
like, you know I don't have timeas that is and I get you,
sister, same.
But if you truly want to buildthat healthy relationship, think
about it.
If you met a new, if you wereon the hunt for a spouse and you
found someone and you were likeI'm sorry, I'm too busy to ever
hang out with you, I'll see youin three months, they'd be like
okay, well, I ain't got timefor that.
Like bye, so same with you.
(12:56):
Right, you deserve to have somequality time with yourself to
build that healthy relationship.
Because if you ignore that timewith yourself, you will never
build that healthy relationshipbecause you're not putting the
time and energy into it.
So in time can be simple.
Maybe it's sitting outside inyour car for five extra minutes
before you walk inside the houseand don't act like you don't
(13:17):
sit out in your car in silencebefore you go inside your house
I know you do.
Or maybe it's, you know, askingsomeone for help and taking
that time to go get a manicure.
Maybe it's, you know, spendinga few extra minutes in the
shower just with your thoughts.
Maybe it's taking the time toread a book or to watch your
(13:39):
favorite show that you never getto watch, or taking a nap,
right?
What is it that you can do byyourself to create?
And again, I'm not saying thisis easy, don't come at me and be
like I got kids, I got this, Igot that, I know.
Okay, I know.
I'm just saying can you find away to take five minutes for
yourself in some sort of way, tojust be present with yourself,
(14:02):
present with your thoughts, andto dig into this whole idea of
the five love languages, toreally build that healthy
relationship with yourself?
Because I know it's therelationship that you are not
pursuing, you're not investingin, you're not loving on, you're
not appreciating enough.
And if you would take the timeto build that healthy
(14:27):
relationship using the five lovelanguages again, because, like
I said at the beginning, thefluffy stuff is great, I'm all
about the fluffy stuff, it'scool, use it, do what works for
you.
But the five love languagesgives you literally five
different ways to treat yourself, as if you're in a relationship
(14:48):
with yourself, and I think weforget that we are.
We are the only one that we areever like.
This is the longestrelationship you're ever going
to be in is the one withyourself.
This is the only relationshipwhere you're going to hear the
thoughts and the true beliefsyour whole life.
(15:10):
So how can we grow thatrelationship in a healthy way to
truly build that confidence?
Because, at the end of the day,that's what this is all for.
When you really learn how tolove yourself and love who you
are and treat yourself in ahealthy, loving, respectful way,
it builds trust with you.
(15:33):
And we know that confidence issimply a trust and belief in
yourself.
So if you trust and believe inyourself because you focused on
that relationship with yourself,your confidence will start to
grow faster, stronger.
So if you desire moreconfidence, we got to start by
creating a healthy relationshipwith ourselves, and these are
(15:54):
five ways that you can do thatsimply, every single day, or
choose one each day to focus onto really build that
relationship.
Okay, I would love to hear fromyou, sister.
Are you trying these?
Can you try these?
Hit me up on social media, tellme all about it, tell me what
you did, share how it's goingfor you.
(16:15):
I would love to shout you outand really honestly, just hear
from more than I hear from myclients.
I hear from myself, but I wantto hear from you.
Did this work for you?
Did you enjoy this?
Is this a new way of viewingconfidence and self-love that
serves you, and I'd love to talkmore about it.
(16:36):
So hit me up, send it to me onsocial DM me, do all the things
and I hope and know that youwill have a powerful day because
you're making the decision togrow your healthy relationship
with yourself.
So until next time, my friend,thank you for being here, thank
you for listening.
If this served you and you'relike hmm, I think I know some
women that this could serve insupport, just click, share, like
(16:59):
.
Share this on your socials, tagme in your stories and the more
women that we can help buildtheir confidence and their
self-love and increase theirbody.
It's just so magical.
So we're in this together.
Let's do this.
Have a powerful day.
Goodbye, friend.
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