April 28, 2025 • 48 mins
Eva's story is one of resilience and transformation, shaped by military service, profound friendship, loss, addiction, and recovery. Joining the Army in 1976 to escape an abusive relationship, Eva served in Korea, where she formed a deep bond with Janice, a fellow servicewoman. Their friendship continued over the years, until Janice's disappearance in 1981. Authorities largely dismissed Eva's concerns, but one detective believed her, leading eventually to the discovery of Janice's body. Grieving, Eva struggled with addiction for years. In 2019, a reconnection with the detective inspired her sobriety and the writing of her memoir, "When Tough Cookies Crumble." Now, Eva is planning a military burial for Janice and channels her energy into healing and honoring her friend, showing that transformation is achievable at any stage of life.
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
If we can go back, you joined the army in the 70s,
correct?
Speaker 2 (00:06):
Yes, I joined the army in January of 1976.
Speaker 1 (00:10):
Why.
Speaker 2 (00:12):
Why?
Well, the main reason was I wasin an abusive relationship and
I needed to get out of that,which I did get out a few months
before I got into the army.
But you know, the reason I gotin the abusive relationship was
because I was on my own.
I was going to college and Ihad become homeless.
(00:33):
I was originally supposed to bein the dorms, but then my
girlfriend convinced me to giveup my dorm and go move in with
her and her parents, but thatdidn't last very long and then I
ended up homeless.
So after a roommate that didn'twork out, I ended up moving in
with my eventual husband andthen that became abusive.
(00:54):
So I was like, okay, this isn'tworking.
I grew up as an army brat, so Iwas familiar with the military
and I knew that was a job andyou know a paycheck and they
would pay for my school so Icould continue my education.
So that was pretty much thereason I signed up.
Speaker 1 (01:12):
I mean that was my first question.
When I read that I was like whyin the 70s and 80s?
One?
Because I didn't think thatwomen were really accepted into
roles and it just seemed alittle scary for a woman to join
the forces back then.
Speaker 2 (01:32):
Yeah, at the time I didn't know that.
I was naive.
I don't know, I just alwaysgrowing up, I always thought
women could do anything.
I didn't know better.
There you go, yeah, I thought Icould go to West Point or be
anything I wanted to be.
I could be president.
You know, I had no clue that atthat time really women were
(01:52):
supposed to be housewives andsecretaries or teachers or, you
know, nurses, maybe you know butroles I didn't realize that.
But yeah, I didn't find that out.
Yeah, I bet Did you get a lotof teasing in the Army, not too
(02:28):
much.
But again, you know the idea ofthe roles.
You know, I was inadministration, which was a
typical female role, like aclerk, secretary type of thing,
but, um, there was sexualharassment and sexual
discrimination and that came upa lot when we were in korea
because, uh, korea, which iswhere we met she was my roommate
, janice was my roommate inkorea and, um, I mean that it
takes reading the book to reallyunderstand what was going on in
Korea, because it's a wholedifferent culture.
You know, women are totallysubservient in Asian culture.
(02:52):
I don't know, probably a lotstill today, maybe I don't know,
but definitely.
And men were there without wivesor, you know, spouses, spouses
and children, because it wasstill considered a hostile duty
station okay so, um, theybasically it was almost like a
(03:13):
playground for them, you know,they kind of forgot they were
married while they were in Koreaand they had a good old time
and um, yeah, so they didn'treally appreciate American women
there messing up their game.
You know, because Janice and Iwould complain about different
types of discrimination that wefaced.
Like we had NCO clubs and yougo there you could eat dinner or
(03:35):
lunch or turned into nightclubsat night.
You know discos, and we wouldcomplain because the people that
worked at the club wouldactually bring in the hostesses,
which were of courseprostitutes, into the base and
onto the club and the women thatwere servers didn't want to
(04:00):
serve the American women untilthey'd served all the men, and
even then they were hostiletowards us and would complain.
We would file discriminationcomplaints and nobody would do
anything, you know so wow, wow.
Speaker 1 (04:12):
I mean, that's a lot for to go through.
Did you ever just want to quit?
Speaker 2 (04:18):
no, I'm pretty, you know, I could have said things
like that.
A challenge?
Yeah, you don't know, I'm notgoing to quit, I'm going to
fight.
How?
Speaker 1 (04:27):
long were you there for?
Speaker 2 (04:29):
In Korea.
Speaker 1 (04:30):
No in the forces.
Speaker 2 (04:33):
Oh, so I served three and a half years on active duty
and three years in the reserves.
Speaker 1 (04:38):
Okay, Now you and your best friend got out at the
same time.
Speaker 2 (04:44):
Yeah, I left Korea about six months before she did
and we would continue to writeand wrote each other our diaries
.
You know like, I wrote my diary, mailed it to her, vice versa,
and then when she got out, wewere hoping to be stationed in
the same place.
But she went to Fort Knox,kentucky, where she was before
she went to Korea, and I wentback to Fort Jackson, south
(05:04):
Carolina, where she was beforeshe went to Korea, and I went
back to Fort Jackson, southCarolina, where I was before I
went to Korea.
And then we did get out at thesame time in July of 1979.
And that's when we moved toWashington DC together.
Speaker 1 (05:18):
Oh, okay, and then what did you do there when you
guys got to Washington?
Speaker 2 (05:24):
Well, I finished my college degree when I was in
Korea, and so I was going to lawschool.
So I was admitted to law schoolat George Washington University
in Washington.
Speaker 1 (05:34):
Wow, wow.
So far you have lived such acolorful life, and we're not
even through the rest yet.
All right, so then you and yourfriend moved in.
What happened from that pointon?
Speaker 2 (05:52):
well, like I said, we continued our military careers
in the reserves, so I was acounterintelligence agent and
she became a drill sergeant.
We also got jobs.
She worked full-time most ofthe time and I worked part-time
while I went to school.
She eventually started going tocollege as well, so we had
school work and the militarykeep us busy.
(06:14):
You guys were busy, but westill had time to party.
Oh my gosh, we did that too.
Gosh, we did that too.
So then what?
Speaker 1 (06:27):
happened become?
I don't know.
Did she have a bad relationship?
What happened?
Speaker 2 (06:35):
um, she kind of had a few bad relationships.
Um, she, she originally grew upin miami.
That's where she grew up andshe really liked that
environment and she just didn'tfeel that comfortable in the DC
area.
And so after two years shedecided to move.
At one point she had metsomebody while she was in
(06:57):
training that lived in Norfolk,virginia Beach, chesapeake area
in southern Virginia and we hadgone down there to visit and I
guess it kind of like planted aseed in her mind this would be a
good place to move to.
So in July of 1981, she moveddown there and started school
(07:19):
there and work and working parttime as well, and she actually
was in the ROTC program tobecome an officer.
Speaker 1 (07:29):
Oh, okay.
Wow, you guys were busy Now.
Did you move to Miami then?
No, or Virginia she went toVirginia then yeah, because she
liked the beach, the whole beach.
Speaker 2 (07:43):
Vibe Reminded her of Miami.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (07:46):
Okay, so what were you doing at this time?
Speaker 2 (07:50):
I was in my last year of law school, so I had to stay
, of course.
Speaker 1 (07:53):
Okay, and then did you move to Miami or did you
start practicing law inWashington?
Speaker 2 (08:01):
No, well, like I said , what happened to her happened
in between, before I graduatedfrom law school oh, okay yeah.
So, and she moved there in julyof 81 and I went down a couple
times to visit her and then inlike november, well, she had
written me a couple letters andthat I mean, like I said, we
(08:23):
were very close, we told eachother everything, and that
happened up until September whenshe started at school, and then
all of a sudden, it was kind oflike she was holding back, she
wasn't sharing as much of whatwas going on with me.
So then it was like in lateOctober when she started telling
me that she was dating someoneand she was kind of afraid and
(08:44):
if anything happened to her, youknow, check this person out.
And then I couldn't get a holdof her and I called her job.
She hadn't been to her worksince early November.
I called the school and theyhadn't seen her.
And so that's when I knewsomething happened, you know,
based on the letter she hadwritten me, and so I went down
(09:06):
there that was like in themiddle of November and I went,
you know, I went to herapartment and her car was there,
but she wasn't there.
Again, that would be unusual,you know, why would her car be
there?
She's not there, and so I wentstraight to the police with the
letter to tell them.
You know she was missing and Ithought something happened to
(09:27):
her and the person that Ithought would be responsible.
Speaker 1 (09:32):
Wow, now did they respond, or did they just kind
of blow it off, or did theystart searching for her at that
time?
Speaker 2 (09:47):
at that time.
Um, yeah, they sent somebodyover.
Well, first they wereinterviewing me and then they uh
told me well, this person thatI said you know could have done
something to her.
They called and reported hermissing that morning what a
coincidence, right which I hadtalked to them earlier and and
they claimed they didn't evennotice that she wasn't there,
you know, and they claimed theydidn't even notice that she
(10:08):
wasn't there, you know.
So, again, then, this is wherethe sexism comes into play.
The male detectives didn'tbelieve me and they called the
female detective to meet.
Well, they brought her inbecause I showed them part of
the letter.
The letter includedconversations about buying an
ounce of weed, right, so Ididn't want to show them that
part.
Yeah, I was like okay, here arecops, here we're trying to
(10:30):
purchase illegal substances orwhatever.
So I just showed them the partabout you know, if something
happens to her.
So they're like no, we have tosee the whole letter, and blah,
blah, blah.
So that's when they brought inthe female detective and she
finally convinced me to showthem the whole letter, which
we're not going to use anythingagainst you, or just, you know,
find out what happened to her.
So, um, then we went to herapartment with the female
(10:53):
detective and a couple of themale detectives and, um, they
started.
Well, I had a friend in thecomplex and so they told me well
, first we have to do this andthat and then we'll be ready to
see you.
Which I didn't quite understandthat, because they made me
leave my car at the policestation and brought me there and
then tell me I can't go in withthem.
At first they wanted me thereand then they didn't.
(11:14):
So I went to my friend's houseand they, you know, started
searching or whatever, and thenthey finally told me to come
back.
So when I came back, the maledetectives are reading her
diaries, they're looking at herphoto albums and we used to take
nude pictures of men and thingslike that.
Speaker 1 (11:35):
Being girls.
Speaker 2 (11:37):
Yeah, as a playgirl, we lived a playgirl lifestyle.
But they took it totally thewrong way.
Oh well, obviously she ran offwith some guy and you know she
was at the time when we were inDC.
We dated a lot of black guys,so there were a lot of these
pictures were black men, so ofcourse they're in the South.
(11:58):
They're racist and sexist, thatyou know.
So, oh, she probably ran offwith some black guy.
You know, I'm like no, shenever dated any black guys there
, she only dated white guys whenshe was there and I said no,
that's not it, Because theydidn't want to look at the
person I was pointing the fingerat.
You know, right, and so thefemale detective, you know she
(12:18):
believed me.
She told me she could see I wasgetting upset when I kept
saying no, that's not whathappened, right, they weren't
listening, right.
So she took me out to coffeeand she says I believe you.
She says I'm the lead detectivehere, which of course they
didn't act like she was, youknow.
And so she's.
(12:40):
You know, from that point on,eventually I had to go back to
DC and she continued theinvestigation and she continued
pursuing this person and I hateto give away what happened, but
something happened to the personthat was the suspect, but there
was still no sign of her.
(13:01):
So she's still missing.
But at this point I figured shewas dead, you know.
So she continued to pursue thecase and her superiors wouldn't
look, even though one of thewitnesses took her and a
lieutenant that was over her Ona ride.
(13:21):
They said, okay, this personhad asked me to go with them to
look for a place for camping andit was like 60 miles away and
told her to write down thedirections, how to get there and
everything.
So, in other words, it was aremote area that, hmm, why would
they do that, unless they werelooking for a place to bury
somebody far away?
Speaker 1 (13:42):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (13:43):
So you know she's like okay, okay, we have to
search this area, and theyrefused.
You know they were like andthen they told her they took a
helicopter without her and flewover there and they didn't see
anything suspicious and you knowthey didn't want to find her.
I don't know why they didn'twant to find her.
Speaker 1 (14:01):
I know why didn't they want to find her?
Speaker 2 (14:04):
I know why didn't they want to find her?
I just kind of feel like theyfelt like she was.
Oh, if she dated black guys,she must have been a tramp, and
we don't care what happens totramps.
You know what I mean.
That's the only conclusion Ican really come to.
But eventually, in January of1982, they gave.
Well, she actually contactedanother person, a lawyer, who
(14:26):
was connected, I don't know.
Somehow he convinced them tolet her search there.
And when they?
When she searched, I mean shejust walked around the building,
around the area and she sawwhat looked like a clandestine
grave and she called them outthere and they came and they dug
and they found her.
So she could have been foundmonths earlier.
(14:47):
You know, when they found outabout it.
So that was basically it, in away.
Speaker 1 (14:55):
There was closure at that point.
But now, who did it?
Speaker 2 (15:01):
Well, we all know who did it.
I mean, they continued themales probably continued to deny
it to the end, but me and thedetective, we knew who did it.
You know the person that.
Well, I hate to give it away,but he had committed suicide.
So that's like an admission ofguilt in itself.
Speaker 1 (15:20):
Yeah, Holy cow, so yeah.
So that was the second part.
Speaker 2 (15:35):
the murder part, yeah no, you don't have to go into
the second part, but I meanobviously, yeah.
Speaker 1 (15:38):
I mean, at least there was some closure there,
you weren't.
I mean finding her, it was theclosure, but yeah, when did you
start your healing journey?
Speaker 2 (15:52):
So yeah.
So I finished school and I wenton.
I ended up moving to Chicagoand lived there for like 28
years and I just kind of it wassomething that I kind of stuffed
down.
But I mean, how do you stuffdown something like that?
Right, you know, and my mainway of coping with it was
(16:13):
addiction.
You know, I was using a lot ofsubstances to numb myself and
not deal with feelings andthings like that, so, and I just
kind of put it in the backburner, you know, like that's
over, there's nothing I can doabout it, and that kind of put
it in the back burner, you know,like that's over, there's
nothing I can do about it, andthat kind of thing.
So I moved to southern NewMexico in 2009.
(16:35):
And 10 years later, in 2019, Igot a letter addressed I had
changed my name and everything.
I got a letter addressed to myname when I was in the military,
which was a booker, and it wasfrom this detective who had also
got married and changed hername.
She had tracked me down and wehad stayed in touch, probably
(16:58):
through about 1987, when we kindof lost touch when I was in
chicago and um.
So she had kind of talked aboutdoing a book about it.
She really wanted to do a bookabout it, but I didn't pay much
attention to that, you know, andbut at this point she was like
really set on it and so, uh, youknow, I talked to her.
(17:20):
She said she had given thematerials, all her records and
everything to somebody to writea book about it.
Um, I don't know how long before, but they had sat on it for a
long time and never did anythingso, and by now she was in her
70s yeah, 70s then I guess, yeah, something like that and um, so
(17:41):
she's kind of feeling like, youknow, I gotta, I got to do it
now.
You know, it's getting late,you know, running out of time,
right, running out of time.
So I said, okay, well, you know, I'll see what I can do to work
on it with you, you know, andI'm thinking, well, maybe we're
going to work on it together now, you know, and in my mind it
(18:02):
was always going to be a storyabout the three of us, you know,
me and Janice and her.
Speaker 1 (18:09):
But in her mind.
Speaker 2 (18:09):
The story was about her and her case, janice, was a
case you know, so that wouldcontinue to be a conflict as we
went along.
But so I started writing somethings and she sent me things
that she had already worked onwhen she worked with this other
writer, and so that went on, Idon't know, maybe about six
(18:35):
months, and then, you know, lifewas happening.
She had breast cancer and otherissues moving and all kinds of
things came up, and so we kindof put it on the back burner.
And then there was COVID andeverything and I did some other
writing.
I like genealogy, so I wrotesome genealogy articles and I
(18:56):
sent her a copy and that was inwhen was that about?
I think that was in 2019.
No, no wait, that started in2020, january 2021.
I think, yeah, that's when itwas.
So that's when we kind ofpicked it up again.
I sent her that article and thenshe told me she found somebody
(19:17):
else that wanted to write thebook, kind of as a ghostwriter,
and she showed me the contractand again it was the same thing,
focusing on her and Janice as acase, and I just felt like the
story of Janice should includeher life and not just her as a
(19:38):
body, you know.
So I told her my concerns aboutthat.
And then was it 2020, july of2021?
Yeah, so in July of 2021, herand her husband had bought an RV
and they lived in the same area, of course, where the murder
(19:58):
occurred, and they were going todrive to California.
And to get from there toCalifornia, you've got to go on
I-10.
And to go on I-10, you've gotto go through Las Cruces, which
is where I live.
So I'm like, oh great, so youknow, we can finally meet after
40 years yeah basically, yeah,so she came by and met, we met,
(20:21):
and then she told me she foundanother person to write the book
and this was somebody that thelawyer had recommended and she
told me his name.
But again, you know the wholeconversation I'm like, well,
maybe we can write it together.
You know, I just kept wantingto see the book and she said,
well, maybe we just need twobooks, maybe you just need to
(20:42):
write your own book.
You know, and that kind ofthrew me like, but I thought we
were doing this together, but no, that was only in my mind.
You know what I mean?
I had something in my mind, shehad something in her mind and
they weren't the same thing, youknow yeah so that's when I
finally realized well, she'sprobably right, I'm gonna have
to write my own book if I want abook, because you know the way
(21:04):
I want it, so I.
So.
Then I thought, okay, now thatshe's already told me about two
people that she had planned towrite the book with and she gave
them everything.
So if I'm going to write a book, I have to go and get a copy of
everything before she gives itto this next person.
So that's what I.
So I went to her house in Julyin Virginia and I just, you know
(21:30):
copying, with copies and photosand everything, all the records
and files that I could, until Iran out of ink.
So that's when I really startedthe writing process for that.
And then that was the beginningof your healing journey writing
(21:50):
that book well, actually, thehealing journey started in 2019
when she contacted me, becauseat that point I'm thinking, okay
, I'm going to write this bookbecause I'm still getting high
now.
I had tried to go throughrecovery several times in my
life.
The first time was in 1986.
I got a couple years clean 1994, I got a couple years clean
(22:15):
2004,.
I got up to like three years acouple times, but something
would always, you know, set meback.
So I was like, well, number one, I'm going to have to get clean
, you know, and I probably haveto go to therapy to really look
at this, because this has beenburied for 40 years.
You know therapist, so that'swhere I really started the
(22:46):
healing journey.
So I started meeting with thetherapist and talking about why
it's about writing the book andexploring, um, all these
feelings that I hadn't felt in40 years, you know over the
years, because that's exactlythat's quite a bit yeah, that's
a lot, because you know there'sa lot, because you know there's
a lot of guilt, like was theresomething I could have done?
(23:09):
you know.
You know of course there wasn't, but you know you think that.
Speaker 1 (23:13):
Sure yeah.
Speaker 2 (23:15):
So then I started going to meetings again, and
then I went to a conference andso I actually pretty much got
clean around May of 2019.
And so I've been clean.
I had a little slip up becauseI had these what's called can of
caps and then one day inSeptember I had trouble sleeping
(23:36):
.
I said, well, let me take a canof cap, not thinking STHC is
going to make you high.
That's a relapse, you know.
I told my counselor about it,my sponsor about it, and I said
I didn't mean to do it, it wasan accident.
And she's like it doesn'tmatter, you have to start all
over.
So that's why I say my cleandate is September 30th 2009.
(23:57):
I haven't had any drugs oralcohol or anything since then.
So, yeah, so then that's beenpart of the healing journey and
recovery.
Also, in November of 2021, afterI had gone to see Kay and
copied all the materials, Icontacted her family, because
(24:18):
the other thing was when, aftershe passed away, you know, I was
still in touch with her familyagain until maybe about 1987.
And I asked them if they weregoing to have a funeral or
anything for her and they saidno, so they just had the ashes.
So at this point.
You know, I found them.
They were in North Carolina,which and she was Janice's
(24:44):
mother was like in her 90s atthat point, or early 90s, and,
uh, her brother, which I'd nevermet.
She had two brothers, but I hadnever met him before.
I contacted them and, um, youknow, one of one of the
brother's partners had called meand that's how I got back in
touch with the family and so Itold him I wanted to come out
there and meet with them and seeabout having a memorial for
(25:07):
Janice.
So that's what we did.
So we went out there inNovember and I invited Kay to
come and she came also, so wehad a memorial for her.
So that was real closure, sortof Second closure.
So that was really good.
So I'm still in touch with them, although her mom passed away
about a month ago, just veryshortly ago, when her mom
(25:30):
finally passed away.
So, like I said, I had done alittle writing with Kay in the
beginning of 2019, but after Igot all those materials, then it
was time to really startwriting and in the beginning,
when I started writing with Kay,I pulled out my diaries, my
letters, my pictures, but again,it was just too overwhelming,
(25:52):
you know, at that time to dealwith it.
So by this time in 2021, I waslike, ok, now I got to really
get serious about the writing.
So there was a woman I'd workedwith who helped me edit an
article that won a writingcontest for a genealogy journal.
(26:13):
So I asked so she was doing amemoir writing group or
something she was going to start.
So I did that with her for ayear.
Then I got a developmentaleditor in 2022.
And that's when I reallystarted putting together
chapters and things like thatand started the book in 2022,
(26:35):
2023, 2024.
You know, it takes a while.
You do the chapters, the deadbeta readers, a while.
You know you do the chaptersand the dead beta readers.
And you know, I continuing tolearn how to write a memoir as I
went along reading a lot ofmemoirs as well, and so finally,
in July 2024, when I finishedand it came out in August 2024,
(27:02):
that was my healing journey forthe most part.
But now one day her brother'spartner said, well, you know,
maybe we could bury her at aveterans cemetery.
And I'm like, oh my God, whydidn't I think of that?
You know, I didn't even thinkof that.
Speaker 1 (27:15):
You know it's like yeah, well, you had a lot to
think about at the time.
Speaker 2 (27:21):
Yeah.
So now I'm like, okay, we tobury her and and give her full
military honors and 21 gunsalute and the whole nine yards
and a headstone in a veteran'scemetery.
So I'm going to work on that in2025 does.
Speaker 1 (27:37):
Do they do that for every veteran?
The that whole process that youjust said the 21 gun salute
that whole process.
Do they do that for everyveteran?
Speaker 2 (27:49):
well, you, you have to put it together yourself,
just like any other funeral andum.
So I I kind of went throughthat with my dad, you know, when
he passed away in 2022 um, Iput together his funeral um, and
so I went through, contacted alocal group for the honor guard
that's the ones that do the 21gun salute and give you the flag
(28:12):
and all that and then youcontact the VA for a VA
headstone, which is free, butyou pick out which one and which
one on it, and so now I knowthe process.
So I've checked into cemeteriesin North Carolina and they have
really close to where they live.
They have a state one, butshe's not eligible for that
(28:32):
because she had no connection toNorth Carolina, but they have,
about two hours away, they havea federal one.
So I'm going to work with themabout that so I'm going to work
with them about that.
Speaker 1 (28:50):
Yeah well, I'm so sorry for your loss.
It is absolutely tragic and,yeah, I mean I'm kind of
speechless on what to say.
But I am happy that you're onthis healing journey because I
mean, that was when your healingjourney started, but your
healing journey is going to beforever.
Speaker 2 (29:06):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (29:07):
And what have you done besides writing the book?
Did you dive into any alternatehealings or energy healing or
anything like that?
Speaker 2 (29:22):
Well, not so much.
I've gotten a little more intothe spiritual component.
Um, you know, the recoveryprogram I'm in is called
narcotics, anonymous, and soit's a 12-step program and that
involves finding a higher powerof your own understanding.
And, um so mostly and and mydad had introduced me to this
(29:42):
many, many, many years ago,years ago it's called the Center
for Spiritual Living.
Speaker 1 (29:46):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (29:47):
So it's kind of like a non-denominational spiritual,
I mean you can belong to otherreligions and participate in it
or whatever.
And then, mostly because ofCOVID, I guess everybody now is
into Zooms and YouTubes and soone of the main places that's
(30:11):
kind of under that umbrella iscalled the God-Based Spiritual
Center.
I don't know if you've everheard of them.
Speaker 1 (30:16):
No, I haven't.
Speaker 2 (30:17):
They're based in Los Angeles.
Reverend Michael Beckwith.
Speaker 1 (30:21):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (30:21):
And it's funny because my dad took me there
once.
It had to be in the 80s or the90s, so he was probably just
starting out.
It's like about 38 years oldnow, the center.
Speaker 1 (30:34):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (30:35):
So I actually went there once and I'd love to go
there now at some point.
But he's got such a strongmessage and, um, I follow other
people.
I had thought we kind of puttogether a meetup group when I
first got here.
There was a meetup group I gotinvolved with.
So there's several people,like-minded spiritual people,
(30:57):
where we do explore.
We did explore a lot of thosealternative healing and
spirituality things and I, likeWayne Dyer, abraham Hicks and I
finally got into meditation,which meditation you know?
Originally I thought meditation.
You sit on a pillowcross-legged and you're silent,
(31:18):
you don't think any thoughts atall.
Speaker 1 (31:21):
And.
Speaker 2 (31:21):
I went to a meditation center in Chicago for
a while.
That was like that, you know.
But yeah, that was really hardfor me.
But now I do meditation almostevery morning and I use YouTube
guided meditations.
So I usually go like 10, 15, 20minute meditations and positive
affirmations and all that stuffand it helps helps a lot, yeah
(31:45):
it does.
Speaker 1 (31:46):
It's funny that you say that about the meditation,
because I was so against it.
Speaker 2 (31:51):
I mean I was like how can you sit there and think
about birds and songs and allhave kind of a preconceived
notion of what it is like aBuddhist like I have a friend
that's a buddhist and she canmeditate for like 45 minutes in
this silent way.
There's no way I can't do thatyou know so for me, this is I
(32:12):
need that guided meditation.
I need somebody talking, listenand focus on what they're saying
.
Or then they say you know, dothis mantra for five minutes or
whatever, but at least they'vegiven me the words to say you
know?
Yeah, that a lot.
Yeah, tara Brock is anothergood person that she does, talks
and leads meditation, guidedmeditation.
Speaker 1 (32:35):
Oh, let me write that down.
Speaker 2 (32:37):
One of our NA groups is called the 11th Step, and
that was another thing that Ispent a couple years now, which
I don't get to do it every week,sometimes it might be a month
or two between, but he startedout with five minute singing
bowl meditation, so just had thesound of singing bowls and I
really like that.
And another thing I love ishang drum.
(33:00):
I listen to hang drum videos onYouTube no, I've never heard of
that oh, it's such a calmingsound because first I would
listen to like the piano ones,but I don't know, I didn't like
them as much as the hang drum.
I mean they're just awesome.
And then they have beautifulvisuals to go with it.
You know nature and stuff likethat some of them.
Speaker 1 (33:19):
I'm gonna write that down because I forget everything
.
So I know me too.
I've heard it.
It's the age I swear I'm liketo write that down, because I
forget everything.
Speaker 2 (33:24):
I know me too.
Speaker 1 (33:25):
It's the age I swear I'm like losing my mind.
Yeah, because I want to seewhat that hang drum is.
Speaker 2 (33:33):
I know what singing bowls and sound bowls are.
Yeah, that's how I, verybeginning, started the
meditation with.
I would go out my back porchand sit there for five minutes
and play on my phone the singingI'm singing ball music but the
bugs got to be so I couldn'tkeep up with that.
(33:54):
I was like why do there have tobe bugs?
Speaker 1 (33:56):
right.
I would take that as a sign tostop it like it wasn't for me
not outside, but you know, otherthan the bugs, it would have
been great yeah, I bet, I bet.
What else do I have?
What have you learned along theway on your journey?
Speaker 2 (34:17):
oh man, I've learned so much um what is like?
Speaker 1 (34:21):
what do you think you've changed the most on on
your journey?
Speaker 2 (34:26):
well, what I'm noticing more recently that I've
changed the most is I alwayshad to be in control.
I always had to do everythingmyself.
I couldn't count on anybodyelse.
Or, like I said, my main umtherapy was smoking weed, you
know, getting high.
That was the main thing to easemy mind.
(34:47):
And now I'm at a point where Ireally do feel like I have a
connection with a higherconsciousness I like to refer to
it more as a higherconsciousness and, um, that I
can relax and things will workout.
You know, sometimes it might Ihave a friend that says
everything's in divine order, nomatter how it seems, you know,
(35:09):
and sometimes that's a hardconcept to grasp, but, um, it's
kind of surrender, acceptance,letting go, you know, trusting
the universe, that kind thing.
I'm kind of getting there,which is it's hard because still
, every day things come up thatare like, oh my God, I can't
believe you're giving me thistoday, you know, right, right.
Speaker 1 (35:31):
But I mean fear is fear of the unknown, like what
is the next day going to bring,is an opportunity to grow.
And sometimes you just wake upand gosh I just cannot go
through this day again.
You know it's just a bad day.
It's emotional, you're thinkingof all the bad things that have
(35:53):
happened in your life andyou've just got to walk through
that door and deal with it dayone.
You know, one day at a time.
Speaker 2 (36:04):
Yeah, I was just going to say that's the biggest
thing, the one day at a time,you know, not focusing on the
past or the future and trying tomake it through this day.
What do I need to do to getthrough this day?
And you know, hopefully, whatpositive things can I get out of
it you know, yeah, that's agood way to look at it too.
(36:25):
Focus on the positives yeah, Imean, even today I had a major.
This is so crazy.
I own the rental property, sodealing with tenants is like
like I was telling my partner,it's almost as bad as dealing
with teenagers.
I don't know know which isworse, but you know my bad, my
bad.
One of my tenants the gas, theheater, the water heater.
(36:47):
Yeah, the water heater went outand I called this guy that
helps me.
You know, does my maintenancestuff at the property and he's
just like an awesome guy, thesweetest guy ever, and right
away the next day day he goes tocheck it out.
The day after he takes out theold one and it was all clogged,
took forever to get the waterout and puts in the new one.
(37:08):
He does this all by himself andhe's not much bigger than I am.
I'm like, oh my god, I'm soimpressed.
And then, uh, the tenant umasked me for his number.
Oh, I got family members thatyou know that need some help,
but can I get his name andnumber?
And then this morning he callsme and tells me this guy accused
him of having relations withhis girlfriend while he was open
(37:29):
.
Speaker 1 (37:29):
I couldn't believe it .
Speaker 2 (37:33):
And then the guy says I can't work over there, I
can't work for your propertyanymore as long as this guy is
there, and I'm like I can't runthis property without him.
And I had to deal with thatwhole thing with this tenant and
oh, I mean, it's like why didyou give me this today,
especially this morning?
Speaker 1 (37:48):
I'm supposed to be chill for this podcast, you know
this drama, you know I meanwhat people come up with.
It's just crazy, crazy.
I don't know how that's gonnawork out, but you know you're
one hour at a time, that's whatyou have to do.
(38:10):
Well, eva, that was a lot.
That was a a full life timesfive.
What you've gone through overthe years and you are such a
beautiful soul and you're justsmiling right through it and I
know your journey has beenreally rough and I really
(38:31):
appreciate you coming on thispodcast and just bearing your
whole heart for me.
Speaker 2 (38:37):
I mean, I really really appreciate it oh, no
problem, so I I tell you thename of my book.
Yes, absolutely, that's a thickbook.
Yes, when Tough Cookies Crumble.
A True Story of Friendship,murder and Healing.
(38:57):
And, like I said, it tells thestory of me and Janice in Korea,
in DC no.
Speaker 1 (39:05):
I look forward to reading that.
Speaker 2 (39:07):
And the ins and outs of the investigation and who was
responsible and why they did it.
And you know it also relates tothe fact that he was obviously
a sociopath.
You know kind of how to watchout for people like that.
Sure, yeah it sounds too good tobe true, it is.
(39:29):
You know that kind of thing.
And then you know, after thathappened with Janice, I got
hooked up with a sociopathmyself.
Oh no, but I don't include thedetails myself.
So, oh no, but I don't includethe details.
Well, I include the details ofmeeting him and how things
started falling, apart from forme there as well.
But um, and then Kay, you knowpart of her reason for saying,
(39:52):
oh, I have to have somebody elsewrite the book, is she?
Um was diagnosed with cognitivewhat do you call my mild
cognitive decline or somethinglike that, but basically early
stages of dementia or somethingokay.
And the guy that ended up, uh,writing the book, um, he did
write a book about it and hecalled it um.
(40:12):
I don't even want to say thename of it, but he said the
disappearance of dana star wasemail it to me.
Speaker 1 (40:18):
You can email me the name.
You don't have to announce it.
Speaker 2 (40:21):
Yeah, but his came out a couple days before mine.
It came out at the same time.
When I read his book I was soupset.
I mean, he made up so manythings.
He never contacted me tointerview me.
He never contacted her familyto interview her family.
He never contacted her familyto interview her family.
(40:42):
He even missed.
Well, you know, to me it's justhe plain lied about some parts
of the investigation.
How they went, you know, and Iwas like, yeah, it was meant for
me, I had to write my bookwhich was the true version of
what happened.
Speaker 1 (40:56):
Yeah, that's interesting Wow.
Speaker 2 (40:58):
Yeah, that was a jerk , that's interesting.
Speaker 1 (40:59):
Wow yeah.
Speaker 2 (41:00):
What a jerk.
Yeah, so he took advantage ofKate, you know, on her dementia,
because she's out there withhim at all his book signings and
you know, oh, you know, he'spromoting her as a hero that
solved the case and everything.
And she's basically co-signing.
And I confronted her, I saw heragain.
(41:21):
When was this?
Time goes so fast August, inAugust of this past year, 2024,
after the books came out veryshortly after, and I had written
, I had come up with aspreadsheet because I love
spreadsheets of every lie hetold and why it was, you know.
But I didn't want to beat herup, you know.
(41:41):
But I didn't want to make beather up, you know, because she's
a little old lady now and she'sgot dementia.
Speaker 1 (41:47):
Oh, I didn't mean it.
Speaker 2 (41:47):
But uh, you know, he wrote some things.
She gave him some personalcorrespondence between me and
her.
It has some very personalinformation about me that she
gave him that he put in the book.
Now he gave me a pseudonym, butif you know that I wrote a book
and I'm her best friend, you'regoing to know who it is, you
know.
So I was so upset but I didn'twant to really take it out on
(42:08):
her too bad, you know.
Yeah, I feel like he tookadvantage of her, but I'm just
so upset about it and I stillhaven't dealt with it.
I said I'm going to write thepublisher but I haven't yet
Because, again, I don't want togo into that negativity, I don't
want to focus on the negativityof it, but at some point I have
to do that.
But yeah, it's just crazy.
Speaker 1 (42:31):
Yeah, it's just not kind and it's just not right.
Speaker 2 (42:34):
It's unethical.
Yeah, it's totally unethicaland he was a journalist so I
know he knows better.
You know, and he was ajournalist, so I know he knows
better.
You know, and he's writtenother books.
I had bought and read his otherbooks and I'm like, well, if he
did that to this case, you knowwhat were the other books, you
know how true, were they.
Speaker 1 (42:52):
Yeah, yeah that's terrible.
Yeah, I mean, are you?
What do you feel you have to doto let that go?
Do you have to sit with it andthen just go through the steps
and process it, or do you haveto confront the situation?
Speaker 2 (43:10):
Yeah, that's a good question.
I don't know.
I mean, I originally looked upthe law about, you know, libel
and slander and defamation andall that, and it's very
jurisdiction specific, you know,and so most of the
jurisdictions that would beinvolved, like in Virginia or
(43:31):
New York or whatever, the law ismore in favor of the publisher
and free speech than you know.
Like we're in this whole thingwith misinformation right now
then on the side of truth ordefending a person's privacy,
you know things like that.
So, yeah, probably wouldn't.
(43:53):
And I tried to write a review onAmazon and they wouldn't accept
it.
So you know it's hard for me toget the truth out.
So to him about him, but, likewe also did, there's a
television show that's going tocome out about it next year or
this year, I guess it is.
And I told her, I told them, Igave them that spreadsheet that
(44:15):
showed everything that was a lieand they've read my book and
they've read his book, and so Itold him please don't broadcast
any of his lies.
So hopefully when that comesout it will have the true story
based on my story and if not.
Speaker 1 (44:32):
I mean you might have to take it a legal step forward
, but I don't know if that'sgood for your healing journey or
just like, yeah, it's probablynot.
I mean, I cannot believe allyou've been through.
Speaker 2 (44:46):
That's a lot, it's just a lot yeah, yeah, but it
sounds like you're a strongwoman too.
Speaker 1 (44:52):
You've been through a lot yourself yes, I've had a
lot of ups and downs based onhealth, so you know, one foot in
front of the other.
Speaker 2 (45:02):
Right yeah.
That's what you're doing now isreally good and important.
I think you know giving peoplea voice.
Speaker 1 (45:09):
Thank you.
I was, I'm always wanted tohelp people my whole life, and
so this is the next best thingfor me is using my platform to
help other people and let themtell their story.
So I really appreciate youcoming on my podcast.
I appreciate you having me doyou have a website at all?
Speaker 2 (45:31):
yeah, it's called the enchanted spirit journeys and
my website, in addition to tobook, I've put quite extensive
sections on other memoirs that Irecommend and also a section
for resources for peopleinterested in writing memoir and
(45:52):
books about writing memoir.
So, again, like I said, youknow, I think the healing part
of writing is just the writingand whether you decide to
publish or not later is you knowanother story?
I thought I had to becausethere was this other book coming
out.
You know, yeah, but just thewriting of it.
You know it just helps resolveso many issues and come to, like
(46:18):
you said, about guilt and thatkind of thing, and realize you
know there's nothing I couldhave done.
I couldn't have stopped thissociopath from you know
murdering my best friend, butabsolutely.
Speaker 1 (46:30):
There is nothing you could have done.
Speaker 2 (46:32):
But I can make sure she has a military funeral with
a 21 gun salute.
Speaker 1 (46:36):
Yes, absolutely, and she would absolutely appreciate
that.
So yeah great, so that's yournext step is is doing that so
yeah that's a great thing.
It really is.
So is there anything else youwould like to say to um before
we wrap this up?
Speaker 2 (46:58):
not that I can think of just everybody be tough for
sure, for sure.
Speaker 1 (47:08):
But as we come together, we can help others who
feel lost in their journey.
Yeah, don't isolate yeah, yeahdon't isolate.
Speaker 2 (47:17):
There's so much support out there.
Just reach out and you'll findother people that you can relate
to that can help you on yourjourney.
Speaker 1 (47:27):
Definitely, definitely.
Well, eva, thank you again somuch.
You are lovely and the world isjust amazing because you're in
it.
Speaker 2 (47:35):
Oh, you too.
If we can go back, you joined the army in the 70s,
correct?
Speaker 2 (00:06):
Yes, I joined the army in January of 1976.
Speaker 1 (00:10):
Why.
Speaker 2 (00:12):
Why?
Well, the main reason was I wasin an abusive relationship and
I needed to get out of that,which I did get out a few months
before I got into the army.
But you know, the reason I gotin the abusive relationship was
because I was on my own.
I was going to college and Ihad become homeless.
(00:33):
I was originally supposed to bein the dorms, but then my
girlfriend convinced me to giveup my dorm and go move in with
her and her parents, but thatdidn't last very long and then I
ended up homeless.
So after a roommate that didn'twork out, I ended up moving in
with my eventual husband andthen that became abusive.
(00:54):
So I was like, okay, this isn'tworking.
I grew up as an army brat, so Iwas familiar with the military
and I knew that was a job andyou know a paycheck and they
would pay for my school so Icould continue my education.
So that was pretty much thereason I signed up.
Speaker 1 (01:12):
I mean that was my first question.
When I read that I was like whyin the 70s and 80s?
One?
Because I didn't think thatwomen were really accepted into
roles and it just seemed alittle scary for a woman to join
the forces back then.
Speaker 2 (01:32):
Yeah, at the time I didn't know that.
I was naive.
I don't know, I just alwaysgrowing up, I always thought
women could do anything.
I didn't know better.
There you go, yeah, I thought Icould go to West Point or be
anything I wanted to be.
I could be president.
You know, I had no clue that atthat time really women were
(01:52):
supposed to be housewives andsecretaries or teachers or, you
know, nurses, maybe you know butroles I didn't realize that.
But yeah, I didn't find that out.
Yeah, I bet Did you get a lotof teasing in the Army, not too
(02:28):
much.
But again, you know the idea ofthe roles.
You know, I was inadministration, which was a
typical female role, like aclerk, secretary type of thing,
but, um, there was sexualharassment and sexual
discrimination and that came upa lot when we were in korea
because, uh, korea, which iswhere we met she was my roommate
, janice was my roommate inkorea and, um, I mean that it
takes reading the book to reallyunderstand what was going on in
Korea, because it's a wholedifferent culture.
You know, women are totallysubservient in Asian culture.
(02:52):
I don't know, probably a lotstill today, maybe I don't know,
but definitely.
And men were there without wivesor, you know, spouses, spouses
and children, because it wasstill considered a hostile duty
station okay so, um, theybasically it was almost like a
(03:13):
playground for them, you know,they kind of forgot they were
married while they were in Koreaand they had a good old time
and um, yeah, so they didn'treally appreciate American women
there messing up their game.
You know, because Janice and Iwould complain about different
types of discrimination that wefaced.
Like we had NCO clubs and yougo there you could eat dinner or
(03:35):
lunch or turned into nightclubsat night.
You know discos, and we wouldcomplain because the people that
worked at the club wouldactually bring in the hostesses,
which were of courseprostitutes, into the base and
onto the club and the women thatwere servers didn't want to
(04:00):
serve the American women untilthey'd served all the men, and
even then they were hostiletowards us and would complain.
We would file discriminationcomplaints and nobody would do
anything, you know so wow, wow.
Speaker 1 (04:12):
I mean, that's a lot for to go through.
Did you ever just want to quit?
Speaker 2 (04:18):
no, I'm pretty, you know, I could have said things
like that.
A challenge?
Yeah, you don't know, I'm notgoing to quit, I'm going to
fight.
How?
Speaker 1 (04:27):
long were you there for?
Speaker 2 (04:29):
In Korea.
Speaker 1 (04:30):
No in the forces.
Speaker 2 (04:33):
Oh, so I served three and a half years on active duty
and three years in the reserves.
Speaker 1 (04:38):
Okay, Now you and your best friend got out at the
same time.
Speaker 2 (04:44):
Yeah, I left Korea about six months before she did
and we would continue to writeand wrote each other our diaries
.
You know like, I wrote my diary, mailed it to her, vice versa,
and then when she got out, wewere hoping to be stationed in
the same place.
But she went to Fort Knox,kentucky, where she was before
she went to Korea, and I wentback to Fort Jackson, south
(05:04):
Carolina, where she was beforeshe went to Korea, and I went
back to Fort Jackson, southCarolina, where I was before I
went to Korea.
And then we did get out at thesame time in July of 1979.
And that's when we moved toWashington DC together.
Speaker 1 (05:18):
Oh, okay, and then what did you do there when you
guys got to Washington?
Speaker 2 (05:24):
Well, I finished my college degree when I was in
Korea, and so I was going to lawschool.
So I was admitted to law schoolat George Washington University
in Washington.
Speaker 1 (05:34):
Wow, wow.
So far you have lived such acolorful life, and we're not
even through the rest yet.
All right, so then you and yourfriend moved in.
What happened from that pointon?
Speaker 2 (05:52):
well, like I said, we continued our military careers
in the reserves, so I was acounterintelligence agent and
she became a drill sergeant.
We also got jobs.
She worked full-time most ofthe time and I worked part-time
while I went to school.
She eventually started going tocollege as well, so we had
school work and the militarykeep us busy.
(06:14):
You guys were busy, but westill had time to party.
Oh my gosh, we did that too.
Gosh, we did that too.
So then what?
Speaker 1 (06:27):
happened become?
I don't know.
Did she have a bad relationship?
What happened?
Speaker 2 (06:35):
um, she kind of had a few bad relationships.
Um, she, she originally grew upin miami.
That's where she grew up andshe really liked that
environment and she just didn'tfeel that comfortable in the DC
area.
And so after two years shedecided to move.
At one point she had metsomebody while she was in
(06:57):
training that lived in Norfolk,virginia Beach, chesapeake area
in southern Virginia and we hadgone down there to visit and I
guess it kind of like planted aseed in her mind this would be a
good place to move to.
So in July of 1981, she moveddown there and started school
(07:19):
there and work and working parttime as well, and she actually
was in the ROTC program tobecome an officer.
Speaker 1 (07:29):
Oh, okay.
Wow, you guys were busy Now.
Did you move to Miami then?
No, or Virginia she went toVirginia then yeah, because she
liked the beach, the whole beach.
Speaker 2 (07:43):
Vibe Reminded her of Miami.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (07:46):
Okay, so what were you doing at this time?
Speaker 2 (07:50):
I was in my last year of law school, so I had to stay
, of course.
Speaker 1 (07:53):
Okay, and then did you move to Miami or did you
start practicing law inWashington?
Speaker 2 (08:01):
No, well, like I said , what happened to her happened
in between, before I graduatedfrom law school oh, okay yeah.
So, and she moved there in julyof 81 and I went down a couple
times to visit her and then inlike november, well, she had
written me a couple letters andthat I mean, like I said, we
(08:23):
were very close, we told eachother everything, and that
happened up until September whenshe started at school, and then
all of a sudden, it was kind oflike she was holding back, she
wasn't sharing as much of whatwas going on with me.
So then it was like in lateOctober when she started telling
me that she was dating someoneand she was kind of afraid and
(08:44):
if anything happened to her, youknow, check this person out.
And then I couldn't get a holdof her and I called her job.
She hadn't been to her worksince early November.
I called the school and theyhadn't seen her.
And so that's when I knewsomething happened, you know,
based on the letter she hadwritten me, and so I went down
(09:06):
there that was like in themiddle of November and I went,
you know, I went to herapartment and her car was there,
but she wasn't there.
Again, that would be unusual,you know, why would her car be
there?
She's not there, and so I wentstraight to the police with the
letter to tell them.
You know she was missing and Ithought something happened to
(09:27):
her and the person that Ithought would be responsible.
Speaker 1 (09:32):
Wow, now did they respond, or did they just kind
of blow it off, or did theystart searching for her at that
time?
Speaker 2 (09:47):
at that time.
Um, yeah, they sent somebodyover.
Well, first they wereinterviewing me and then they uh
told me well, this person thatI said you know could have done
something to her.
They called and reported hermissing that morning what a
coincidence, right which I hadtalked to them earlier and and
they claimed they didn't evennotice that she wasn't there,
you know, and they claimed theydidn't even notice that she
(10:08):
wasn't there, you know.
So, again, then, this is wherethe sexism comes into play.
The male detectives didn'tbelieve me and they called the
female detective to meet.
Well, they brought her inbecause I showed them part of
the letter.
The letter includedconversations about buying an
ounce of weed, right, so Ididn't want to show them that
part.
Yeah, I was like okay, here arecops, here we're trying to
(10:30):
purchase illegal substances orwhatever.
So I just showed them the partabout you know, if something
happens to her.
So they're like no, we have tosee the whole letter, and blah,
blah, blah.
So that's when they brought inthe female detective and she
finally convinced me to showthem the whole letter, which
we're not going to use anythingagainst you, or just, you know,
find out what happened to her.
So, um, then we went to herapartment with the female
(10:53):
detective and a couple of themale detectives and, um, they
started.
Well, I had a friend in thecomplex and so they told me well
, first we have to do this andthat and then we'll be ready to
see you.
Which I didn't quite understandthat, because they made me
leave my car at the policestation and brought me there and
then tell me I can't go in withthem.
At first they wanted me thereand then they didn't.
(11:14):
So I went to my friend's houseand they, you know, started
searching or whatever, and thenthey finally told me to come
back.
So when I came back, the maledetectives are reading her
diaries, they're looking at herphoto albums and we used to take
nude pictures of men and thingslike that.
Speaker 1 (11:35):
Being girls.
Speaker 2 (11:37):
Yeah, as a playgirl, we lived a playgirl lifestyle.
But they took it totally thewrong way.
Oh well, obviously she ran offwith some guy and you know she
was at the time when we were inDC.
We dated a lot of black guys,so there were a lot of these
pictures were black men, so ofcourse they're in the South.
(11:58):
They're racist and sexist, thatyou know.
So, oh, she probably ran offwith some black guy.
You know, I'm like no, shenever dated any black guys there
, she only dated white guys whenshe was there and I said no,
that's not it, Because theydidn't want to look at the
person I was pointing the fingerat.
You know, right, and so thefemale detective, you know she
(12:18):
believed me.
She told me she could see I wasgetting upset when I kept
saying no, that's not whathappened, right, they weren't
listening, right.
So she took me out to coffeeand she says I believe you.
She says I'm the lead detectivehere, which of course they
didn't act like she was, youknow.
And so she's.
(12:40):
You know, from that point on,eventually I had to go back to
DC and she continued theinvestigation and she continued
pursuing this person and I hateto give away what happened, but
something happened to the personthat was the suspect, but there
was still no sign of her.
(13:01):
So she's still missing.
But at this point I figured shewas dead, you know.
So she continued to pursue thecase and her superiors wouldn't
look, even though one of thewitnesses took her and a
lieutenant that was over her Ona ride.
(13:21):
They said, okay, this personhad asked me to go with them to
look for a place for camping andit was like 60 miles away and
told her to write down thedirections, how to get there and
everything.
So, in other words, it was aremote area that, hmm, why would
they do that, unless they werelooking for a place to bury
somebody far away?
Speaker 1 (13:42):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (13:43):
So you know she's like okay, okay, we have to
search this area, and theyrefused.
You know they were like andthen they told her they took a
helicopter without her and flewover there and they didn't see
anything suspicious and you knowthey didn't want to find her.
I don't know why they didn'twant to find her.
Speaker 1 (14:01):
I know why didn't they want to find her?
Speaker 2 (14:04):
I know why didn't they want to find her?
I just kind of feel like theyfelt like she was.
Oh, if she dated black guys,she must have been a tramp, and
we don't care what happens totramps.
You know what I mean.
That's the only conclusion Ican really come to.
But eventually, in January of1982, they gave.
Well, she actually contactedanother person, a lawyer, who
(14:26):
was connected, I don't know.
Somehow he convinced them tolet her search there.
And when they?
When she searched, I mean shejust walked around the building,
around the area and she sawwhat looked like a clandestine
grave and she called them outthere and they came and they dug
and they found her.
So she could have been foundmonths earlier.
(14:47):
You know, when they found outabout it.
So that was basically it, in away.
Speaker 1 (14:55):
There was closure at that point.
But now, who did it?
Speaker 2 (15:01):
Well, we all know who did it.
I mean, they continued themales probably continued to deny
it to the end, but me and thedetective, we knew who did it.
You know the person that.
Well, I hate to give it away,but he had committed suicide.
So that's like an admission ofguilt in itself.
Speaker 1 (15:20):
Yeah, Holy cow, so yeah.
So that was the second part.
Speaker 2 (15:35):
the murder part, yeah no, you don't have to go into
the second part, but I meanobviously, yeah.
Speaker 1 (15:38):
I mean, at least there was some closure there,
you weren't.
I mean finding her, it was theclosure, but yeah, when did you
start your healing journey?
Speaker 2 (15:52):
So yeah.
So I finished school and I wenton.
I ended up moving to Chicagoand lived there for like 28
years and I just kind of it wassomething that I kind of stuffed
down.
But I mean, how do you stuffdown something like that?
Right, you know, and my mainway of coping with it was
(16:13):
addiction.
You know, I was using a lot ofsubstances to numb myself and
not deal with feelings andthings like that, so, and I just
kind of put it in the backburner, you know, like that's
over, there's nothing I can doabout it, and that kind of put
it in the back burner, you know,like that's over, there's
nothing I can do about it, andthat kind of thing.
So I moved to southern NewMexico in 2009.
(16:35):
And 10 years later, in 2019, Igot a letter addressed I had
changed my name and everything.
I got a letter addressed to myname when I was in the military,
which was a booker, and it wasfrom this detective who had also
got married and changed hername.
She had tracked me down and wehad stayed in touch, probably
(16:58):
through about 1987, when we kindof lost touch when I was in
chicago and um.
So she had kind of talked aboutdoing a book about it.
She really wanted to do a bookabout it, but I didn't pay much
attention to that, you know, andbut at this point she was like
really set on it and so, uh, youknow, I talked to her.
(17:20):
She said she had given thematerials, all her records and
everything to somebody to writea book about it.
Um, I don't know how long before, but they had sat on it for a
long time and never did anythingso, and by now she was in her
70s yeah, 70s then I guess, yeah, something like that and um, so
(17:41):
she's kind of feeling like, youknow, I gotta, I got to do it
now.
You know, it's getting late,you know, running out of time,
right, running out of time.
So I said, okay, well, you know, I'll see what I can do to work
on it with you, you know, andI'm thinking, well, maybe we're
going to work on it together now, you know, and in my mind it
(18:02):
was always going to be a storyabout the three of us, you know,
me and Janice and her.
Speaker 1 (18:09):
But in her mind.
Speaker 2 (18:09):
The story was about her and her case, janice, was a
case you know, so that wouldcontinue to be a conflict as we
went along.
But so I started writing somethings and she sent me things
that she had already worked onwhen she worked with this other
writer, and so that went on, Idon't know, maybe about six
(18:35):
months, and then, you know, lifewas happening.
She had breast cancer and otherissues moving and all kinds of
things came up, and so we kindof put it on the back burner.
And then there was COVID andeverything and I did some other
writing.
I like genealogy, so I wrotesome genealogy articles and I
(18:56):
sent her a copy and that was inwhen was that about?
I think that was in 2019.
No, no wait, that started in2020, january 2021.
I think, yeah, that's when itwas.
So that's when we kind ofpicked it up again.
I sent her that article and thenshe told me she found somebody
(19:17):
else that wanted to write thebook, kind of as a ghostwriter,
and she showed me the contractand again it was the same thing,
focusing on her and Janice as acase, and I just felt like the
story of Janice should includeher life and not just her as a
(19:38):
body, you know.
So I told her my concerns aboutthat.
And then was it 2020, july of2021?
Yeah, so in July of 2021, herand her husband had bought an RV
and they lived in the same area, of course, where the murder
(19:58):
occurred, and they were going todrive to California.
And to get from there toCalifornia, you've got to go on
I-10.
And to go on I-10, you've gotto go through Las Cruces, which
is where I live.
So I'm like, oh great, so youknow, we can finally meet after
40 years yeah basically, yeah,so she came by and met, we met,
(20:21):
and then she told me she foundanother person to write the book
and this was somebody that thelawyer had recommended and she
told me his name.
But again, you know the wholeconversation I'm like, well,
maybe we can write it together.
You know, I just kept wantingto see the book and she said,
well, maybe we just need twobooks, maybe you just need to
(20:42):
write your own book.
You know, and that kind ofthrew me like, but I thought we
were doing this together, but no, that was only in my mind.
You know what I mean?
I had something in my mind, shehad something in her mind and
they weren't the same thing, youknow yeah so that's when I
finally realized well, she'sprobably right, I'm gonna have
to write my own book if I want abook, because you know the way
(21:04):
I want it, so I.
So.
Then I thought, okay, now thatshe's already told me about two
people that she had planned towrite the book with and she gave
them everything.
So if I'm going to write a book, I have to go and get a copy of
everything before she gives itto this next person.
So that's what I.
So I went to her house in Julyin Virginia and I just, you know
(21:30):
copying, with copies and photosand everything, all the records
and files that I could, until Iran out of ink.
So that's when I really startedthe writing process for that.
And then that was the beginningof your healing journey writing
(21:50):
that book well, actually, thehealing journey started in 2019
when she contacted me, becauseat that point I'm thinking, okay
, I'm going to write this bookbecause I'm still getting high
now.
I had tried to go throughrecovery several times in my
life.
The first time was in 1986.
I got a couple years clean 1994, I got a couple years clean
(22:15):
2004,.
I got up to like three years acouple times, but something
would always, you know, set meback.
So I was like, well, number one, I'm going to have to get clean
, you know, and I probably haveto go to therapy to really look
at this, because this has beenburied for 40 years.
You know therapist, so that'swhere I really started the
(22:46):
healing journey.
So I started meeting with thetherapist and talking about why
it's about writing the book andexploring, um, all these
feelings that I hadn't felt in40 years, you know over the
years, because that's exactlythat's quite a bit yeah, that's
a lot, because you know there'sa lot, because you know there's
a lot of guilt, like was theresomething I could have done?
(23:09):
you know.
You know of course there wasn't, but you know you think that.
Speaker 1 (23:13):
Sure yeah.
Speaker 2 (23:15):
So then I started going to meetings again, and
then I went to a conference andso I actually pretty much got
clean around May of 2019.
And so I've been clean.
I had a little slip up becauseI had these what's called can of
caps and then one day inSeptember I had trouble sleeping
(23:36):
.
I said, well, let me take a canof cap, not thinking STHC is
going to make you high.
That's a relapse, you know.
I told my counselor about it,my sponsor about it, and I said
I didn't mean to do it, it wasan accident.
And she's like it doesn'tmatter, you have to start all
over.
So that's why I say my cleandate is September 30th 2009.
(23:57):
I haven't had any drugs oralcohol or anything since then.
So, yeah, so then that's beenpart of the healing journey and
recovery.
Also, in November of 2021, afterI had gone to see Kay and
copied all the materials, Icontacted her family, because
(24:18):
the other thing was when, aftershe passed away, you know, I was
still in touch with her familyagain until maybe about 1987.
And I asked them if they weregoing to have a funeral or
anything for her and they saidno, so they just had the ashes.
So at this point.
You know, I found them.
They were in North Carolina,which and she was Janice's
(24:44):
mother was like in her 90s atthat point, or early 90s, and,
uh, her brother, which I'd nevermet.
She had two brothers, but I hadnever met him before.
I contacted them and, um, youknow, one of one of the
brother's partners had called meand that's how I got back in
touch with the family and so Itold him I wanted to come out
there and meet with them and seeabout having a memorial for
(25:07):
Janice.
So that's what we did.
So we went out there inNovember and I invited Kay to
come and she came also, so wehad a memorial for her.
So that was real closure, sortof Second closure.
So that was really good.
So I'm still in touch with them, although her mom passed away
about a month ago, just veryshortly ago, when her mom
(25:30):
finally passed away.
So, like I said, I had done alittle writing with Kay in the
beginning of 2019, but after Igot all those materials, then it
was time to really startwriting and in the beginning,
when I started writing with Kay,I pulled out my diaries, my
letters, my pictures, but again,it was just too overwhelming,
(25:52):
you know, at that time to dealwith it.
So by this time in 2021, I waslike, ok, now I got to really
get serious about the writing.
So there was a woman I'd workedwith who helped me edit an
article that won a writingcontest for a genealogy journal.
(26:13):
So I asked so she was doing amemoir writing group or
something she was going to start.
So I did that with her for ayear.
Then I got a developmentaleditor in 2022.
And that's when I reallystarted putting together
chapters and things like thatand started the book in 2022,
(26:35):
2023, 2024.
You know, it takes a while.
You do the chapters, the deadbeta readers, a while.
You know you do the chaptersand the dead beta readers.
And you know, I continuing tolearn how to write a memoir as I
went along reading a lot ofmemoirs as well, and so finally,
in July 2024, when I finishedand it came out in August 2024,
(27:02):
that was my healing journey forthe most part.
But now one day her brother'spartner said, well, you know,
maybe we could bury her at aveterans cemetery.
And I'm like, oh my God, whydidn't I think of that?
You know, I didn't even thinkof that.
Speaker 1 (27:15):
You know it's like yeah, well, you had a lot to
think about at the time.
Speaker 2 (27:21):
Yeah.
So now I'm like, okay, we tobury her and and give her full
military honors and 21 gunsalute and the whole nine yards
and a headstone in a veteran'scemetery.
So I'm going to work on that in2025 does.
Speaker 1 (27:37):
Do they do that for every veteran?
The that whole process that youjust said the 21 gun salute
that whole process.
Do they do that for everyveteran?
Speaker 2 (27:49):
well, you, you have to put it together yourself,
just like any other funeral andum.
So I I kind of went throughthat with my dad, you know, when
he passed away in 2022 um, Iput together his funeral um, and
so I went through, contacted alocal group for the honor guard
that's the ones that do the 21gun salute and give you the flag
(28:12):
and all that and then youcontact the VA for a VA
headstone, which is free, butyou pick out which one and which
one on it, and so now I knowthe process.
So I've checked into cemeteriesin North Carolina and they have
really close to where they live.
They have a state one, butshe's not eligible for that
(28:32):
because she had no connection toNorth Carolina, but they have,
about two hours away, they havea federal one.
So I'm going to work with themabout that so I'm going to work
with them about that.
Speaker 1 (28:50):
Yeah well, I'm so sorry for your loss.
It is absolutely tragic and,yeah, I mean I'm kind of
speechless on what to say.
But I am happy that you're onthis healing journey because I
mean, that was when your healingjourney started, but your
healing journey is going to beforever.
Speaker 2 (29:06):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (29:07):
And what have you done besides writing the book?
Did you dive into any alternatehealings or energy healing or
anything like that?
Speaker 2 (29:22):
Well, not so much.
I've gotten a little more intothe spiritual component.
Um, you know, the recoveryprogram I'm in is called
narcotics, anonymous, and soit's a 12-step program and that
involves finding a higher powerof your own understanding.
And, um so mostly and and mydad had introduced me to this
(29:42):
many, many, many years ago,years ago it's called the Center
for Spiritual Living.
Speaker 1 (29:46):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (29:47):
So it's kind of like a non-denominational spiritual,
I mean you can belong to otherreligions and participate in it
or whatever.
And then, mostly because ofCOVID, I guess everybody now is
into Zooms and YouTubes and soone of the main places that's
(30:11):
kind of under that umbrella iscalled the God-Based Spiritual
Center.
I don't know if you've everheard of them.
Speaker 1 (30:16):
No, I haven't.
Speaker 2 (30:17):
They're based in Los Angeles.
Reverend Michael Beckwith.
Speaker 1 (30:21):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (30:21):
And it's funny because my dad took me there
once.
It had to be in the 80s or the90s, so he was probably just
starting out.
It's like about 38 years oldnow, the center.
Speaker 1 (30:34):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (30:35):
So I actually went there once and I'd love to go
there now at some point.
But he's got such a strongmessage and, um, I follow other
people.
I had thought we kind of puttogether a meetup group when I
first got here.
There was a meetup group I gotinvolved with.
So there's several people,like-minded spiritual people,
(30:57):
where we do explore.
We did explore a lot of thosealternative healing and
spirituality things and I, likeWayne Dyer, abraham Hicks and I
finally got into meditation,which meditation you know?
Originally I thought meditation.
You sit on a pillowcross-legged and you're silent,
(31:18):
you don't think any thoughts atall.
Speaker 1 (31:21):
And.
Speaker 2 (31:21):
I went to a meditation center in Chicago for
a while.
That was like that, you know.
But yeah, that was really hardfor me.
But now I do meditation almostevery morning and I use YouTube
guided meditations.
So I usually go like 10, 15, 20minute meditations and positive
affirmations and all that stuffand it helps helps a lot, yeah
(31:45):
it does.
Speaker 1 (31:46):
It's funny that you say that about the meditation,
because I was so against it.
Speaker 2 (31:51):
I mean I was like how can you sit there and think
about birds and songs and allhave kind of a preconceived
notion of what it is like aBuddhist like I have a friend
that's a buddhist and she canmeditate for like 45 minutes in
this silent way.
There's no way I can't do thatyou know so for me, this is I
(32:12):
need that guided meditation.
I need somebody talking, listenand focus on what they're saying
.
Or then they say you know, dothis mantra for five minutes or
whatever, but at least they'vegiven me the words to say you
know?
Yeah, that a lot.
Yeah, tara Brock is anothergood person that she does, talks
and leads meditation, guidedmeditation.
Speaker 1 (32:35):
Oh, let me write that down.
Speaker 2 (32:37):
One of our NA groups is called the 11th Step, and
that was another thing that Ispent a couple years now, which
I don't get to do it every week,sometimes it might be a month
or two between, but he startedout with five minute singing
bowl meditation, so just had thesound of singing bowls and I
really like that.
And another thing I love ishang drum.
(33:00):
I listen to hang drum videos onYouTube no, I've never heard of
that oh, it's such a calmingsound because first I would
listen to like the piano ones,but I don't know, I didn't like
them as much as the hang drum.
I mean they're just awesome.
And then they have beautifulvisuals to go with it.
You know nature and stuff likethat some of them.
Speaker 1 (33:19):
I'm gonna write that down because I forget everything
.
So I know me too.
I've heard it.
It's the age I swear I'm liketo write that down, because I
forget everything.
Speaker 2 (33:24):
I know me too.
Speaker 1 (33:25):
It's the age I swear I'm like losing my mind.
Yeah, because I want to seewhat that hang drum is.
Speaker 2 (33:33):
I know what singing bowls and sound bowls are.
Yeah, that's how I, verybeginning, started the
meditation with.
I would go out my back porchand sit there for five minutes
and play on my phone the singingI'm singing ball music but the
bugs got to be so I couldn'tkeep up with that.
(33:54):
I was like why do there have tobe bugs?
Speaker 1 (33:56):
right.
I would take that as a sign tostop it like it wasn't for me
not outside, but you know, otherthan the bugs, it would have
been great yeah, I bet, I bet.
What else do I have?
What have you learned along theway on your journey?
Speaker 2 (34:17):
oh man, I've learned so much um what is like?
Speaker 1 (34:21):
what do you think you've changed the most on on
your journey?
Speaker 2 (34:26):
well, what I'm noticing more recently that I've
changed the most is I alwayshad to be in control.
I always had to do everythingmyself.
I couldn't count on anybodyelse.
Or, like I said, my main umtherapy was smoking weed, you
know, getting high.
That was the main thing to easemy mind.
(34:47):
And now I'm at a point where Ireally do feel like I have a
connection with a higherconsciousness I like to refer to
it more as a higherconsciousness and, um, that I
can relax and things will workout.
You know, sometimes it might Ihave a friend that says
everything's in divine order, nomatter how it seems, you know,
(35:09):
and sometimes that's a hardconcept to grasp, but, um, it's
kind of surrender, acceptance,letting go, you know, trusting
the universe, that kind thing.
I'm kind of getting there,which is it's hard because still
, every day things come up thatare like, oh my God, I can't
believe you're giving me thistoday, you know, right, right.
Speaker 1 (35:31):
But I mean fear is fear of the unknown, like what
is the next day going to bring,is an opportunity to grow.
And sometimes you just wake upand gosh I just cannot go
through this day again.
You know it's just a bad day.
It's emotional, you're thinkingof all the bad things that have
(35:53):
happened in your life andyou've just got to walk through
that door and deal with it dayone.
You know, one day at a time.
Speaker 2 (36:04):
Yeah, I was just going to say that's the biggest
thing, the one day at a time,you know, not focusing on the
past or the future and trying tomake it through this day.
What do I need to do to getthrough this day?
And you know, hopefully, whatpositive things can I get out of
it you know, yeah, that's agood way to look at it too.
(36:25):
Focus on the positives yeah, Imean, even today I had a major.
This is so crazy.
I own the rental property, sodealing with tenants is like
like I was telling my partner,it's almost as bad as dealing
with teenagers.
I don't know know which isworse, but you know my bad, my
bad.
One of my tenants the gas, theheater, the water heater.
(36:47):
Yeah, the water heater went outand I called this guy that
helps me.
You know, does my maintenancestuff at the property and he's
just like an awesome guy, thesweetest guy ever, and right
away the next day day he goes tocheck it out.
The day after he takes out theold one and it was all clogged,
took forever to get the waterout and puts in the new one.
(37:08):
He does this all by himself andhe's not much bigger than I am.
I'm like, oh my god, I'm soimpressed.
And then, uh, the tenant umasked me for his number.
Oh, I got family members thatyou know that need some help,
but can I get his name andnumber?
And then this morning he callsme and tells me this guy accused
him of having relations withhis girlfriend while he was open
(37:29):
.
Speaker 1 (37:29):
I couldn't believe it .
Speaker 2 (37:33):
And then the guy says I can't work over there, I
can't work for your propertyanymore as long as this guy is
there, and I'm like I can't runthis property without him.
And I had to deal with thatwhole thing with this tenant and
oh, I mean, it's like why didyou give me this today,
especially this morning?
Speaker 1 (37:48):
I'm supposed to be chill for this podcast, you know
this drama, you know I meanwhat people come up with.
It's just crazy, crazy.
I don't know how that's gonnawork out, but you know you're
one hour at a time, that's whatyou have to do.
(38:10):
Well, eva, that was a lot.
That was a a full life timesfive.
What you've gone through overthe years and you are such a
beautiful soul and you're justsmiling right through it and I
know your journey has beenreally rough and I really
(38:31):
appreciate you coming on thispodcast and just bearing your
whole heart for me.
Speaker 2 (38:37):
I mean, I really really appreciate it oh, no
problem, so I I tell you thename of my book.
Yes, absolutely, that's a thickbook.
Yes, when Tough Cookies Crumble.
A True Story of Friendship,murder and Healing.
(38:57):
And, like I said, it tells thestory of me and Janice in Korea,
in DC no.
Speaker 1 (39:05):
I look forward to reading that.
Speaker 2 (39:07):
And the ins and outs of the investigation and who was
responsible and why they did it.
And you know it also relates tothe fact that he was obviously
a sociopath.
You know kind of how to watchout for people like that.
Sure, yeah it sounds too good tobe true, it is.
(39:29):
You know that kind of thing.
And then you know, after thathappened with Janice, I got
hooked up with a sociopathmyself.
Oh no, but I don't include thedetails myself.
So, oh no, but I don't includethe details.
Well, I include the details ofmeeting him and how things
started falling, apart from forme there as well.
But um, and then Kay, you knowpart of her reason for saying,
(39:52):
oh, I have to have somebody elsewrite the book, is she?
Um was diagnosed with cognitivewhat do you call my mild
cognitive decline or somethinglike that, but basically early
stages of dementia or somethingokay.
And the guy that ended up, uh,writing the book, um, he did
write a book about it and hecalled it um.
(40:12):
I don't even want to say thename of it, but he said the
disappearance of dana star wasemail it to me.
Speaker 1 (40:18):
You can email me the name.
You don't have to announce it.
Speaker 2 (40:21):
Yeah, but his came out a couple days before mine.
It came out at the same time.
When I read his book I was soupset.
I mean, he made up so manythings.
He never contacted me tointerview me.
He never contacted her familyto interview her family.
He never contacted her familyto interview her family.
(40:42):
He even missed.
Well, you know, to me it's justhe plain lied about some parts
of the investigation.
How they went, you know, and Iwas like, yeah, it was meant for
me, I had to write my bookwhich was the true version of
what happened.
Speaker 1 (40:56):
Yeah, that's interesting Wow.
Speaker 2 (40:58):
Yeah, that was a jerk , that's interesting.
Speaker 1 (40:59):
Wow yeah.
Speaker 2 (41:00):
What a jerk.
Yeah, so he took advantage ofKate, you know, on her dementia,
because she's out there withhim at all his book signings and
you know, oh, you know, he'spromoting her as a hero that
solved the case and everything.
And she's basically co-signing.
And I confronted her, I saw heragain.
(41:21):
When was this?
Time goes so fast August, inAugust of this past year, 2024,
after the books came out veryshortly after, and I had written
, I had come up with aspreadsheet because I love
spreadsheets of every lie hetold and why it was, you know.
But I didn't want to beat herup, you know.
(41:41):
But I didn't want to make beather up, you know, because she's
a little old lady now and she'sgot dementia.
Speaker 1 (41:47):
Oh, I didn't mean it.
Speaker 2 (41:47):
But uh, you know, he wrote some things.
She gave him some personalcorrespondence between me and
her.
It has some very personalinformation about me that she
gave him that he put in the book.
Now he gave me a pseudonym, butif you know that I wrote a book
and I'm her best friend, you'regoing to know who it is, you
know.
So I was so upset but I didn'twant to really take it out on
(42:08):
her too bad, you know.
Yeah, I feel like he tookadvantage of her, but I'm just
so upset about it and I stillhaven't dealt with it.
I said I'm going to write thepublisher but I haven't yet
Because, again, I don't want togo into that negativity, I don't
want to focus on the negativityof it, but at some point I have
to do that.
But yeah, it's just crazy.
Speaker 1 (42:31):
Yeah, it's just not kind and it's just not right.
Speaker 2 (42:34):
It's unethical.
Yeah, it's totally unethicaland he was a journalist so I
know he knows better.
You know, and he was ajournalist, so I know he knows
better.
You know, and he's writtenother books.
I had bought and read his otherbooks and I'm like, well, if he
did that to this case, you knowwhat were the other books, you
know how true, were they.
Speaker 1 (42:52):
Yeah, yeah that's terrible.
Yeah, I mean, are you?
What do you feel you have to doto let that go?
Do you have to sit with it andthen just go through the steps
and process it, or do you haveto confront the situation?
Speaker 2 (43:10):
Yeah, that's a good question.
I don't know.
I mean, I originally looked upthe law about, you know, libel
and slander and defamation andall that, and it's very
jurisdiction specific, you know,and so most of the
jurisdictions that would beinvolved, like in Virginia or
(43:31):
New York or whatever, the law ismore in favor of the publisher
and free speech than you know.
Like we're in this whole thingwith misinformation right now
then on the side of truth ordefending a person's privacy,
you know things like that.
So, yeah, probably wouldn't.
(43:53):
And I tried to write a review onAmazon and they wouldn't accept
it.
So you know it's hard for me toget the truth out.
So to him about him, but, likewe also did, there's a
television show that's going tocome out about it next year or
this year, I guess it is.
And I told her, I told them, Igave them that spreadsheet that
(44:15):
showed everything that was a lieand they've read my book and
they've read his book, and so Itold him please don't broadcast
any of his lies.
So hopefully when that comesout it will have the true story
based on my story and if not.
Speaker 1 (44:32):
I mean you might have to take it a legal step forward
, but I don't know if that'sgood for your healing journey or
just like, yeah, it's probablynot.
I mean, I cannot believe allyou've been through.
Speaker 2 (44:46):
That's a lot, it's just a lot yeah, yeah, but it
sounds like you're a strongwoman too.
Speaker 1 (44:52):
You've been through a lot yourself yes, I've had a
lot of ups and downs based onhealth, so you know, one foot in
front of the other.
Speaker 2 (45:02):
Right yeah.
That's what you're doing now isreally good and important.
I think you know giving peoplea voice.
Speaker 1 (45:09):
Thank you.
I was, I'm always wanted tohelp people my whole life, and
so this is the next best thingfor me is using my platform to
help other people and let themtell their story.
So I really appreciate youcoming on my podcast.
I appreciate you having me doyou have a website at all?
Speaker 2 (45:31):
yeah, it's called the enchanted spirit journeys and
my website, in addition to tobook, I've put quite extensive
sections on other memoirs that Irecommend and also a section
for resources for peopleinterested in writing memoir and
(45:52):
books about writing memoir.
So, again, like I said, youknow, I think the healing part
of writing is just the writingand whether you decide to
publish or not later is you knowanother story?
I thought I had to becausethere was this other book coming
out.
You know, yeah, but just thewriting of it.
You know it just helps resolveso many issues and come to, like
(46:18):
you said, about guilt and thatkind of thing, and realize you
know there's nothing I couldhave done.
I couldn't have stopped thissociopath from you know
murdering my best friend, butabsolutely.
Speaker 1 (46:30):
There is nothing you could have done.
Speaker 2 (46:32):
But I can make sure she has a military funeral with
a 21 gun salute.
Speaker 1 (46:36):
Yes, absolutely, and she would absolutely appreciate
that.
So yeah great, so that's yournext step is is doing that so
yeah that's a great thing.
It really is.
So is there anything else youwould like to say to um before
we wrap this up?
Speaker 2 (46:58):
not that I can think of just everybody be tough for
sure, for sure.
Speaker 1 (47:08):
But as we come together, we can help others who
feel lost in their journey.
Yeah, don't isolate yeah, yeahdon't isolate.
Speaker 2 (47:17):
There's so much support out there.
Just reach out and you'll findother people that you can relate
to that can help you on yourjourney.
Speaker 1 (47:27):
Definitely, definitely.
Well, eva, thank you again somuch.
You are lovely and the world isjust amazing because you're in
it.
Speaker 2 (47:35):
Oh, you too.
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