Turning the Page

There comes a time and a place when you say, ‘I don’t need this in my life anymore. That you have options. You are worthy of more than this.

It had gone on too long and what was actually abnormal had now become the norm. She had been morphed into a reality that was never meant to be. He had been entranced by some musical flute to follow a fool’s dance tune.

But then a reality lightbulb flicked on. Not a massive lightbulb that you...

The world is full of words, but how many do we miss because they need to be heard? There is something about audio.

I have books. Lots of them. Books have filled my life for a long time.

From an early age, I had an insatiable appetite for reading. The earliest books I remember were about Biggles, a World War One wartime pilot.

Then transitioning on to large classic doorstops such as ‘Lord of the Rings’, ‘The Count of Monte Cristo’ o...

 It takes energy to hold a closed hand, but with gentle movement, we find an open hand. In openness, we both give and receive.

A few years ago, I noticed that my right hand was often clenched tight into a fist. Not a fighting fist, but more a fist that was anxious and tense.

I would wake at night to find my hand closed and bound up tight.

I think the body at times reflects in posture what is going on internally in the soul.

It wa...

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We often question ‘Am I on the right path’ but learning to hear the shepherd’s voice gives us an assurance to know and trust the good shepherd.

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Recently, I have been listening to the audiobook version of Surprised by Joy: The Shape of My Early Life by C.S. Lewis.

I like to listen to audio books and podcasts as I do my gardening work.

This book is a memoir or autobiography of C.S. Lewis’ early life.

If you want to get to know someone, explore their early life and come to understand what has shaped them.

He writes this.

I am a product of long corridors, ...

I want to forget some things. But does God forget? Does God choose not to remember and if so, how does this help me heal?

I once visited the ancient ruins of Olympia, Greece.

The tour guide told me that in the entrance to the athletic stadium there were once pillars and inscribed on them were the names of people who had cheated in their events.

Not only that, but alongside the athletes’ name was the name of the town they came from.

We don’t want trouble, but when Jesus says ‘You Will Have Trouble’, there must be something to help us through. 

There are some promises I would like God not to keep.

I’m not sure if you can still get them or not, but you used to be able to buy a little box and in it there would be little pieces of paper with a scripture on written on it.

They were called promise boxes.

Each day, or whenever you needed a little boost, you would ran...

It can feel very lonely when we don’t experience love. A sense of abandonment. To know that ‘I am loved’ is like the permanent embrace of presence. 

To be loved and know it deeply is, I think, the quest of every heart. According to early Church writer Paul, it is the greatest of all.

When you know you’re loved, there is a sense you are held and known. There is a completeness to who you are.

But, in all honesty, the love most of us ...

It was disappointing when then they said it. In fact, it was surprising.

They said it with good intentions, but it displayed a kind of stereotyping or categorising of a group of people that deserve much more.

The words were these.

‘With your people, ...

It wasn't so much a closed door, it was more a Christmas rejection. There is no place for you here.

I watched him as he told me he wasn’t going to his family’s Christmas party.

He had felt a lot of rejection from his family and now he couldn’t be bothered with all the politics. He was going somewhere else.

I believe he decided that ‘the corner of a rooftop’ was preferable to a delicious Christmas lunch with people who had shunned...

A crisis hits and the scaffolding around your life seems to shake, but you have a Mental Health Grab Bag, and so you know you can get through this.

An emergency hits, or maybe it’s just seeing certain family members. Something gets added to your stress load, and the brain spirals down and out of control.

There might also be times you have to go to a hospital for various medical needs. Maybe you need some respite time.

What would ...

Feeling judged can make you want to hide. Why put yourself out there if people are going to judge you? What you want is a good conversation. 

They didn’t have the conversation because they knew they would feel judged. Feelings of being dismissed, ridiculed, ‘shot-down’, laughed at, mocked would land on the already fragile soul.

All they wanted was for someone to listen to them without condemnation.

Instead, like a snail retreatin...

There is an internal world to every one of us with words that need sharing, but it’s hard to put into words, so we need someone safe to help us.

They wanted him to tell them what was going on inside, but it felt more like he was in the corner of a boxing ring and they were ready to punch.

When you’re in that kind of space, everything can either shut down or liven up.

For some, they will fight, others will flee, then for others, the...

They make me feel … (add in your emotional extreme), but there is a space between stimulus and response. Use it.

I was watching the news the other night and the first item was about a mother complaining about how a politician made her daughter feel. She claimed that the politician was a bully and had threatened her daughter.

I don’t know the full details, but it was the words ‘made her feel’ that grabbed my attention.

These words a...

It’s a noisy world with lots of stressors wanting our attention, but there is a still small voice longing to be heard, so quiet yourself and listen.

I have a pendulum clock on a bookshelf near me.

Yesterday, I noticed the pendulum was swinging back and forth freely, but now it’s barely moving.

The only sound I can hear is a little ‘click’ sound coming from it.

In the background, a car passes by, an early bird Tui makes a small anno...

We all want to be known, held and loved, but to find this requires a level of risk to have a sacred conversation. Are you ready for that?

I once had a conversation with someone, what I would call a sacred conversation, and they couldn’t handle the fire.

They couldn’t handle the heat of what I shared. I could hardly handle it myself, and I was hoping they could help.

But they were too cau...

There is a time for everything, and some things get opened too early, but there is hope, and God can bring release and recovery.

They had been opened too soon. They weren’t ready yet.

Her deep beauty had not been allowed to fully mature, but now it had been opened.

They had told him that this was love. Told him lies that, maybe, they had heard themselves at the same tender age. From this interruption to normal, healthy developmen...

Sitting with shame can suffocate life, but sitting in solidarity with someone in soul talk can break its control.

It’s there if you want to hear it. A sneaky, whispery voice from the past.

You hear it in others. They may have said nothing directly to you, but it’s there. Shame is a shadowy character.

It hides in the corners, and under the floorboards. It creeps around trying to be unnoticed.

But you can always guarantee, if given...