let's see what happens

Episode Transcript
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coach chris bennett (00:06):
Welcome to the to coach Bennett's talking
Podcast.

coach tammie bennett (00:10):
I'm Coach Tammie Bennett.

And I'm Coach Chris Bennett. This is
where we talk about

anything we want. Anything we want, like
movies or music, running, notrunning life and what gets us
excited. Fantasy and sci fi

books?

No, we're not talking about that.

Well, we'll talk about everything but
fantasy and sci fi books.

So sit back for keep moving because
it's time to start talking.

On this episode of to coach Bennett's
talking, we learned about thepower of two words. Let's see,
we hear about when both coachBennett's wanted to become
coaches. They've got their pettygrievances, floating fancies,
and so much more. Let's start.

Hey, Coach.

Coach, I'm I'm so so totally excited for
this episode.

That makes two of us. Yeah. And it's

not because this is being recorded. So late.
And then the editing has tohappen so late. So our backs are
against the wall. So excited todo an episode with you. Okay.
All right. Sounds like you'resuper excited to so what's
what's up? How are you? Have youbeen? What's been going on? What

(01:27):
have you been up to for the lastweek since the last time?
Obviously the audience connectedwith us?

Yeah, well, I mean, we talked about it
a little bit and last week'spodcast, but we were both at the
Wildwood running Napervilleclinic today clinic first day
for coaches of female runners,female high school runners. And
the second day for female highschool runners, and it was a
great time.

Why was it a great time? Tell me a little
bit about that. Because I'minterested even though I was
there. I'd love to know yourperspective. What was so good
about it?

I think anytime you are surrounded by
like minded people that are allon the same page with the same
mission, with the same desire tohelp and support I think
obviously it's a good time. Andthat's what Wildwood was it was
everybody there was therebecause they wanted to promote

(02:25):
and help and support? femalehigh school running?

Let me ask you this, from your perspective,
because you spoke on both dayswas was your objective
different? Considering who youraudience was? Because obviously,
on day one, you're talking tothe coaches. And on day two,
you're actually talking to theathletes like, did things
change? Did your motivationschange? Were there certain

(02:51):
things you're like, I gotta getthis through for the coach. And
something different for theathlete.

I think the approach might be a little
bit different. But the endresult is totally the same. The
end result being you want thesekids to run at for as long as
they want to in their lives.
They want them to enjoy runningforever. And I think that that
can be done. If you're teachingthe coaches how to coach and how
to keep it fun and how to keepit supportive. It's a top down

(03:20):
thing. I also wish and I pitchedthis idea to the Robin and Marie
from Wildwood. I wish there wasa parent day also. Because I
think if you can teach coachesand teach parents and teach the
runners on how to approach thesport, I think you could make
incredible changes. But yeah,but as it was, yeah, I had a

(03:44):
little bit of a differentapproach when I was talking to
coaches versus athletes, butwith that same end goal in mind.
I'm curious to hear yourthoughts about that.

Well, let me just say this, I think it's
it's really funny to me, thatwhen we do this to coach
Bennett's talking podcasts, I'mnot sure if everyone realizes
that maybe maybe it's just frommy side, but I'm learning so
much from asking thesequestions. I had no idea, one

(04:19):
that you had spoken to Robinmcgillis and Marie, about what
you said about having thatadditional day for the parents,
which is utterly brilliant. Andalso, I never knew that that
even entered into the equationfor you. I know you've talked
about the importance of parentsbut like, now that you say it,

(04:41):
it's so obvious because parentshave for better and I may tick
off a few parents or for worse,have gotten so involved in their
kids lives. That it really doeshelp to have that extra day like
that's banana I didn't know thatyou even brought that up.

I've actually brought them up up to
them multiple times. And they'reworking on it, it has been
heard. But even in my ownprivate practice, now, when I
coach high school runners, Irequire the parents to also have
some sessions with me, because Iit's not just a kid issue, it's
the way that parents areapproaching, talking to their

(05:23):
kids. So to me, it's a veryvaluable, really important piece
to the whole equation.

Yeah, I think, well, I know that is a
reality with when you'recoaching. And it's just, it's
one of the things that like, butit's just one of those moments
in us talking where it's like,oh, my gosh, like that is
obvious, it's essential. Andit's something that that
actually now needs to be a partof the curriculum. Curriculum

(05:51):
makes it sound like reallyboring, and really, like,
straight laced, but I didn't, Ididn't know that. That's super
fascinating. It also makes methink, how important it is for
from a coaching perspective, tobring in the parents, but also,
you know, kind of allow theparents to be involved. And also

(06:14):
let them know that there arelimitations like you, you're,
you are a parent of someonethat's on the team, but you're
not on the team,

I think, yeah, I mean, the whole, the,
that's a big part of what Iteach the parents is to just
kind of take some stepsbackwards, and get out of the
equation a little bit more, andlet the kids do what they're
gonna do. Without the parentsthinking they need to do more
and do it faster, and do itquicker and do more mileage and
more intensity. A lot of timesthe parents have these well

(06:43):
meaning things and they havewhat I call 80s coaching that a
lot of us grew up with, whereyou have to do it more and more
often and more intensely andmore effort in order to achieve
something and so a lot of theparents are coming to the kids
wanting them to do more and todo it faster. And a lot of times
that's actually not what's goingto help the kids. So yeah, I
mean, I agree that, yeah,parents can be involved, but

(07:05):
maybe from like, farther back.

Yeah, from the sidelines, where the stands
where they're supposed to be. Soright, like that works.

Yeah. And it's all it's also I have a lot
to say about what parents say onthe white on the way home from a
meet, or around the dinner tableafter a practice.

Ooh, so we have we have a future episode.
Yes. Can I Can I do one thingreal quick, because you alluded
to a future petty grievance. Andnow you've alluded to a future
episode. Can I just ask you whatyour petty grievance was, and if

(07:46):
anyone's wondering, payattention. Listen to the last
episode, dog mountain. Tammymentions a petty grievance
without mentioning the actualpetty grievance. She says, Oh, I
just thought of a pettygrievance. But I'm gonna save
that for a later date. As far asI'm concerned, this is the later
date. What exactly was yourpetty grievance? You can give

(08:09):
some background but I would liketo know, what was the petty
grievance because I went on arun. And I had my guess of what
I thought it was. Let's see ifI'm right. Well,

are we just gonna finish the check in
section and skip the meat andtaters and go straight to petty
grievance? Or do you want to

know this?
Is this is different? This isjust like, This is

my petty grievance for today. So do you
want to go to that section orno?

So you don't have a second petty
grievance and an entire week,you've only had one petty
grievance you've come up with?

I knew that that's what I was going to
say. So I mean, although we'll

wait Wow, aren't well, breathless
anticipation from the crowd? Canyou can you anticipate that like
How excited everyone is to hearwhat it is? I'm going to say? I
know what it is. Okay. That'sall I'm saying. Okay. Wait,

did you approach the coach's day in the
runner day differently? When yougave your talks?

Yes, I did.
I think the coaches I had toconvince them that, at least
from my perspective, and listen,if you're a coach that showing
up at a clinic in early June forcross country, you're a you're a
kickass. Coach, okay, likeyou've got what it takes, which

(09:32):
means you're willing to do thework. Okay, so, baseline
Foundation, you've got what ittakes. But I felt like my most
important lesson that I had toget across was, you can have a
ton of fun and be really,really, really successful.

(09:55):
Which, which, you know, is, itseems like Well, that's that
should be an easy lesson to, to,you know, come, you know, at
least portray, come across. Butit's not because most people
think like, if you're going tobe really successful, it can't
be that much fun. On day twowith the kids. It wasn't I

(10:18):
don't, I feel like I didn't haveto prove that having fun lead to
success, I had to actually dothe opposite, that having
success was really a lot of fun.
Like, don't be afraid toactually go after success, it

(10:39):
will be a lot of fun. And I feellike with the coaches, it's a
little bit different. Like,don't be afraid to have a lot of
fun, it will lead to success. SoI feel like I had to flip
actually the script a little bitand prove like, no matter which
direction you're going, you'regoing to end up in the same
place, which is a really, reallycool kickass place.

Yeah, and for our listener, if you haven't
listened to our episode titledimportance of community, listen
to that, because we talk a lotabout that in that episode as
well about the importance ofhaving fun on the way to
success. And we've

got a lot of coaches, I should have
listened to that that have beenreally cool. reaching out and
saying thank you for actuallyjust saying that you can have
fun and work hard, or you canwork hard. And it can be a lot
of fun. Yeah. Cool. Now, can Ikind of take over the meat and
taters thing again, like I didthis Two episodes ago. And I

(11:35):
feel like we're only a fewepisodes in. So I don't want to
act like I'm constantly doingthis. But you said something at
the Wildwood clinic that was sopowerful to me, as a coach, and
this is what excites me, this iswhy I love going to clinics or
paying attention to what othercoaches are saying, or athletes

(11:56):
or reading a lot or watchingmovies or TV shows, because
there's always something thatyou can seize upon and say,
Well, I'm going to take that yousaid something that I hadn't
heard before. From you, or fromanyone else. I thought, Oh, I'm
gonna steal that. But before Isteal it, I just want to ask you

(12:18):
about it. Is that cool?

Yes. And I'm a little surprised you
haven't heard it from me,because I talk about it a lot.
But that's okay.

I guess because it was so succinct. And
it was so clear. And it was justlike, so straightforward. Like,
I know, this is the way youcoach, I know, this is what you
do it. But you summed it up intwo words, which is really hard
to do when you have, you know, alesson you're trying to give.
And I think this is a greatlesson, if you want to look for
a great coach or a greatteacher. They know what they're

(12:48):
talking about, if it's notcomplicated for them, to explain
it to you. And you set it in twowords. And I've thought, Oh,
damn, I've tried to do this. Butit's taken 200 or 500 or 10,000
words. And your point was,you're talking about taking

(13:09):
risks, try new things, taking onchallenges, approaching
barriers, all of it, you can putit under one giant umbrella. And
you said, a great way to look atit. Rather than to have the
tension, the anxiety, the fear,the stress, is to just say,
let's see, and then dot dot dot,and I thought, Damn, that's such

(13:35):
a great way of looking at it.
One, how did you get to that?
And to expand upon it a littlebit more for a training, run or
race? Maybe it's a presentationat work? Maybe it's a hard
conversation with your family?
Because the second you said it,I thought oh my goodness, this

(13:57):
this could this could be used inso many situations. Where did it
come from? And what do you mean?
Yeah, I

talked about this a lot. If you've ever
taken a class with me or beencoached by me, you have heard me
talk about this. But I think itcame about because so many of
the people that I work with, areso terrified to do something,
because of all the pressure thatthey put on themselves that they
have to do it right, or theyhave to do it well, or they have
to take it to take advantage ofthe money or the time or the

(14:28):
energy that they spent in andit's so paralyzing. And so I
just came up with this like,well, let's just see what
happens. If you start thesentence with let's see what
happens if I run a different waytoday. Or let's see what happens
if I run up the hill instead ofbe scared of it. And it takes
the pressure off. There is nocertain result that you're

(14:51):
pressuring yourself to get.
You're just seeing what happens.
It's just an experiment. Andthen you get to see like okay,
well if I do this, that happens,do I Like it or not, if I don't
like it, maybe I'll trysomething different next time.
But it just puts it back intothe land of play. And curiosity.
Instead of the land of pressure,I must achieve this certain

(15:12):
result.

I'm laughing and not because I'm,
I'm diminishing, it is theopposite. It's like crazy to
think, well, if you just say,let's see what happens, as
opposed to, we're going to dothis, because we have to make
the shot, we have to win, wehave to do that, where you have
no idea whether or not you'regoing to make the shot, you're

(15:35):
going to win the race, this isgoing to work out. You're right,
it really does take thepressure, just those few little
words of, well, let's just seewhat happens. Let's do this. And
then it allows you theflexibility and I think kind of
the the, because you have to theweird thing is is people confuse

(15:56):
like when you run your fastest,you're actually the most
relaxed, like the more tense youget, the more you slow down. And
it's like, The more relaxed youare to try something new, or to
take on the challenge or to takethis risk or to say, I'm going
to give everything I've got,you're probably increasing the

(16:16):
odds that it's going to besuccessful on top of that. At
the same time, if it's notsuccessful, you've allowed for
the possibility of, okay, I tooka chance. I'm just wondering,
like, Is there are there othersituations where this came up
where you realize, like, Ididn't do this. And I should
have these? I'm just wondering,like, this is like a click,

(16:40):
because as a coach, like youhave these moments where you're
like, wait, I'm focusing on thewrong thing. What brought you to
this? And I know I'm putting youon the spot. But do you know why
you think of this the way youdo?

Yeah, it's because I've coached people for
14 years in differentcapacities. And I've just seen
the way that the pressure theyput on themselves gets in the
way, they get in their own wayof just doing something and
you're never going to learnuntil you get out there and you
try. You let see if you can doit. And then you learn from
there. You learn about whatworks for you what feels good,

(17:15):
what feels fun, what, what makessense, what feels successful. So
it was just something that Itried with a client and like,
let's see, if you just start asentence with, let's see if I
can dot dot dot. I think one ofthe first people I use it with
they were procrastinating on anemail, there was an email that

(17:35):
they just absolutely did notwant to send. And I'm like,
well, instead of thinking I haveto write this email, I'm so
behind, I should have done ittwo weeks ago, this email is
going to be so hard all of thesethoughts that make it not sound
very fun to go to the email. I'mlike, well, instead, what if
you're just like, let's see whathappens if I just write the
first sentence of the email.
Let's see what happens if I juststart it. And they did. Now

(17:56):
there is no pressure, allthey're having to do is write
the first sentence. And it cameout a lot easier. And they wrote
the email. And it was like aftermonths of like procrastinating
about this email, they got itdone. They wrote me, texted me
later that day, I sent theemail. And it was so fun. And it
was just the simple act oflifting the pressure and the

(18:16):
expectation off of what you wantit to happen. And just seeing,
let's see, let's see whathappens if

I love that. And just as a heads up to
you. And to anyone's listening,the reason why I kind of
hijacked the episode tonight.
Because when Tammy said this tothe girls, there were about 80
girls at the clinic. Yeah, alittle over 80. Okay, like that
slight change, changedeverything you could see,

(18:53):
suddenly, they were like, Wait aminute. What if I actually just
look at it a little bitdifferently? What if I, the
shading changes, the lightingchanges? The whole thing just
just a little bit. And I just Ilooked around because I had the
luxury of sitting where I couldsee the entire group of athletes
and you I thought, oh mygoodness, like this is this is

(19:18):
an actual moment where theirrunning season career is going
to change but in the biggerpicture, that entire idea. So it
was something that I veryquickly like made a note of I
was like, wait a minute, likewhat's happening here, which is
exciting for me, which is why Ilike paying attention to these

(19:43):
things because there's there'sstuff that I just miss or I
don't do or or there's upsideand I just thought I've never
thought of it that way. I'venever thought of positioning it
that way of let's just see whathappens. And it's such a fun
playful By way of saying, Let'schallenge ourselves, let's take

(20:03):
a risk. Let's try to dosomething we've never done
before. And if you if youactually just look at like
semantics like, wow, like, theequivalents are so much more
intense. There's so muchpressure, but it's the exact
same thing. So I just thought itwas really, really cool. So
that's why I had to ask you, Iwas I was not going to wait.

Yeah, I just wanted to point out one
more thing, too, is I get a lotof inspiration from watching
really young kids. Because Ithink so many of us humans are
born with all the skills that weneed. But when we turn into
school aged people, and middleschool, and college, and
grownups, a lot of that freedomand curiosity that we had as

(20:50):
children gets kind of stompedout. And so if you look, if you
just ever look at some kidsplaying blocks, they are all
about let's see, let's see howhigh we can go. Let's see what
if we added over here, what ifwe add this, there's no fear of
the tower collapsing, there's nofear of them doing it wrong.

(21:10):
They don't even realize thatthere could be a air quote,
wrong way. They're just like,let's see if we put this on top
of it or, you know, kids makinga fort. That's another great
example. Well, let's see, if weput the blanket over the chair,
oh, let's see, if we put apillow on top of it. There is no
fear. And so if you just getinto the mindset of a kid where
there are no consequences, somuch, then it will bring a lot

(21:33):
of freedom to you. And you'llexplore things and try things
that maybe you would have beenscared to. And you'll come out
with some really cool results.

That's awesome. And you're so right,
like the the blocks fall down.
You just you build another one,you try to go higher. Shout out
to Emily Rooney, who let ourkids build some epic forts.
Like, yeah, the house wascompletely torn up. And at the
same time, he realized like,this is an epic fort. Like they
just nothing was off limits,which was super cool. So

that was a great moment. So we were at a
camp, we were running one of ourday camps. And Emily dropped off
the kids and said, Yeah, we madea Ford. So you might see, you
know, some things going on inthe house. And I'm like, okay,
great. We walked in. Andliterally every chair or place
that you could sit was all inone room. Every blanket was all
in one room. And I'm like, Oh,my gosh, thank you so much,

(22:31):
Emily. But yeah, it was a greatmoment.

And you know, what's kind of cool now
that you bring it up? Is thekids felt the freedom to do
that? Because Emily said,everything is not off limits.
It's on limits, like, just usewhat you want. Let's make a
fort. We'll deal with it. No,Emily, obviously was like, you

(22:53):
know, when, when my time isdone, I'm out of here. I'm not
going to put anything back,which was a typical,

she was like, let's see if let's see if
Tammie and Chris can put it allback together and not drink.
They're being exhausted fromrunning a day camp. Yeah, let's
see what let's see if they likethat.

Two parts of the challenge. Can we build
the most epic fort ever? Andthen containing Chris actually
just put everything backtogether again. So

you know, maybe she was like, let's see if
Tammy and Chris get mad at me ifI leave the house in this
condition.

And we didn't because she was a great,
great babysitter. So to EmilyRooney, cheers. You're a rock
star. And those are some epicforts. They also, if you're not
looking at them as for it's justit was the house was destroyed.
But anyway, so we have to moveon now. But I want to say thank

(23:46):
you for letting me kind ofhijack this and ask you where it
came from. Because I think it'simportant. I think it's a cool
thing. And can I just say this?
I'm going to throw this outthere. This is the first
invitation. Will you be my firstguest on coach Bennett's
podcast? Let's do it. Soundsfun. Okay, because and then to

(24:06):
everyone listening to to coachBennett's talking. This is where
you send your questions. It'sthe same address for to coach
Bennett's talking show upsociety podcast, and Coach
Bennett's podcast. So just ifyou have questions that you want
coach Tammie to answer on coachBennett's podcast, send them in.

(24:29):
Because I think this would bereally cool to have a moment
where we can have consistentlycoach Tammie answering some
mindset questions on coachBennett's podcast. Yes. Am I
being greedy? Of course I am.
Why wouldn't I be but anyway,alright, what's next?

We're going petty grievance.

Oof. Okay, so I think you should start I
don't think we should makepeople wait anymore because
obviously you alluded to it it.
What was your petty grievancelast week that you did not
actually say what you saidyou're going to use next time?
Yeah.

My petty grievance is when people have
allergies, for instance, andthey refuse to take allergy
medicine to relieve theirsymptoms. Why not just relieve
your symptoms? Why not? Haveyourself feel physically better?
If you can?

Now, when you say people, do you think
that it's more men than women?
Yes. Okay. Sorry. I just I feellike there was when I was
listening to the last episode, Ifelt like you felt women handled
this better than men.

If by better, you mean making their
lives better by feeling betterby allowing help? Yes.

Okay. All right. Yeah, that's, oh, that's,
that's it? That's fine. Okay.
Okay. My petty grievance is, andI'm going to keep this really,
really short. So it could beexpanded into something. far
longer is what Twitter hasbecome. Just because of last

(26:25):
weekend, there was there was alot of international news. And I
think over the last year, youhaven't been able to really rely
on Twitter as a news source. Iwill say there's a silver
lining. So my petty grievancewas what Twitter has become my
petty grievance silver liningnow, guess what? I just invented

(26:47):
something and silver lining tothe better grievance. I paid
attention to some of the majormedia news sources, and they,
they seize the day and did agreat job. So that's it. That's
all I gotta say. So what's nicefloating my fancy?

No. Okay, we're gonna open the mailbag.
Okay, we got some good mail.
past few days. We got a greatquestion, or actually a few
questions, but we're going todeal with one today from
Madison, from Madison Chandler,who also sent some Chapel Hill
toffee. Go heels.

You gotta love the Chapel Hill. Like if
you want to, I guess skate tothe front of the line. Then you
got to know like, well,obviously Tammy is a Carolina
girl. I went to Carolina for asa Yankee. So I mean, like,
you're, you're working the rightangle here. So thank you for the

(27:48):
Carolina toffee.

Toffee.
Yes, Chapel Hill. Toffee.

Is it toffee to toffee toffee. These
fries with coffee. Toffee, nottoffee?

I don't know.

Okay, moving on. Thank you for the
thank you for the toffee ortoffee. What is the question?

The question is, when did you first
know you wanted to be a coach?
First.

Alright, now, can I just preface this by
saying before we recorded, wenormally don't have a very in
depth conversation, but we'regoing to talk about, there's
some like, you know, basics,okay, I think we're going to go
in this direction. We knew thequestion. And I said, I'm very
interested because I don't knowyour answer. And you know my

(28:41):
answer. And you said you didn'tknow my answer. Which is
fascinating to me. So I knew Iwanted to be a coach, when I
knew I wanted to be a teacher.
And I knew I wanted to be ateacher, my junior year in high
school. When I was sitting in UShistory, one and my teacher, Mr.

(29:03):
Matson was my favorite class,and I just I hung on every word.
And everything he said, Ithought was fascinating. And I
just thought, sitting at thefront of your desk with his
legs, his legs were dangling.

(29:27):
And he just told stories, and Ithought we were all enraptured
were a bunch of 16 and 17 yearold kids. And he got us
interested in history. We wantedto know the stories. We wanted
to know, the background. Wewanted to know more and that

(29:47):
right there convincing people toactually want more. I thought
that's incredible. There was aconnection with coaching and
running and I thought, okay, asa coach, you're basically doing
the same thing. You're ateacher, just in a slightly

(30:07):
different room. It's not aclassroom, it's a track. It's a
trail. It's around porn, like atCBA. So I was very lucky that
junior year, I realized, Iabsolutely loved and respected
somebody who could grab myattention and make me want more

(30:28):
in a classroom. And at the sametime, I was getting over a whole
bunch of injuries andsicknesses. And I had some
coaches and some teammates whomade me realize I wanted more on
the track and the trails. And Irealized at the same time, I
wanted to coach and I wanted toteach. So it was junior year in
high school. And I'll say this,there was an alumni newsletter

(30:53):
that my high school put out. AndI put in a request to be a
writer, and they allowed me todo it. And in your little bio,
my junior year, it said, Chriswants to come back and coach and
teach at CBA. And I did I did dothat. So I was, I guess 16 or

(31:15):
17. There's my story.

Yeah, I love that. I knew the basic
story. I just didn't knowexactly when it was. I don't
know if it was like junioryears, senior year, whatever.

Okay, well, now I want to know yours went
when did you know you wanted tocoach? I think this is I'm super
excited about this because Idon't I do not know the answer
to this.

Okay.
Well, I sort of fell into itbefore I realized it's what I
wanted to do. So I'll just startwith that. So I was a fitness
instructor for moms who did thefitness with their kids in the
strollers. It was calledstroller strides. We met a we
did fitness classes with theirkids in the stroller. So there
was a lot of singing ABCs whilewe were like doing bicep curls,

(32:01):
it was amazing. And then about ayear into it, some of the moms
wanted to start running. And soI'm like, Well, I ran my whole
life, I can get you guys to runa 5k. And so we started, I
started the mother runner TrackClub, and I started coaching
them to do their first 5k. Andthen I think that year or the
next year was when I really wentto Ole click that I knew that I

(32:24):
wanted to be a coach. And that'swhen our kids started running
for St. Lea with a great andLynn Croft, New Jersey. And I
was adamant about wanting theirexperience in running to be a
fun one. Because like we said atthe beginning of this podcast
episode, it's so important forlongevity in the sport to have

(32:45):
it be fun. And since I startedat a really young age, and there
were a lot of times when it wasnot fun at all in a really
horrible, dramatic way. So muchthat I burnt out. For a year in
high school, I didn't compete, Iburnt out for a year in college
and didn't compete. And I justwas like, I never want that to

(33:05):
happen for our kids. If theychoose to run, I want them to be
able to run forever and not beburnout and not hate the sport
ever. I mean, let's be for real,there's going to be days when
we're like running is thedumbest sport ever, because
you're just your body hurts orwhatever, but, or you're
heartbroken after maybe a toughrace. But in the grand scheme of
things, it was so important tome that our kids loved running,

(33:27):
if that was the sport they choseto do. And they had chosen to go
out for the team. And so I wentto the coach and I said, Hey, I
would love to be an assistantcoach, can I get started? And
that's when it all clicked. AndI'm like, Yeah, this is what I'm
supposed to be doing. Because Iknow really well how to make it
fun and sustainable. Andsomething that these kids really

(33:49):
want to do forever. And that'swhen I was home. Yeah.

I think it's crazy that was that late,
because having been on a teamwith you, and knowing you the
amount of people who would comeup to you and ask for help or
advice or just even a shoulderand like, you know what coaching
is half, not half, more thanhalf of coaching is listening.

(34:15):
And watching. It's not evensaying anything. It's just
knowing that somebody actuallycares. It's fascinating to me
that it actually took as long asit did for you to realize like,
oh my goodness, I've not only amI meant to be a coach, but I've
been a coach for way longer thanI think, you know what I mean?
Like you've had conversationswhere you stepped in and you

(34:39):
were the deputized assistantcoach or you were the deputized,
you know confidant, which isbasically a coach or you're the
deputized, you know friend,which is part of being a coach
or, you know, the guidancecounselor, the priest, all of
these different things that acoach is it's interesting that
you had to go through so manydifferent things to realize It's

(35:00):
like, Yeah, this is what I'msupposed to do when you would
have been doing it for so long.

We know what's really interesting is, I
did see myself as a coach withthe sort of mindset part, the
part where the girls on the teamwould ask me to go to dinner and
just pumped me full of questionslike, can you help us with this,
I'm struggling with this. But Ididn't trust myself to do the
workout part, which is actuallyI think, the least important
part. But I remember when Istarted coaching, I was like, I

(35:28):
don't know what to do forworkout, I don't know what we
should do. And I didn't trustthat part of me. So I didn't
think of myself as a coach untilwell, just because I didn't have
that competence in the actuallike, workout part of it. And
that I just learned by doing itthat I just learned by like,
let's see if these kids want torun a mile today. And let's see

(35:49):
how it goes. And I learnedreally quickly, from like you
said, listening and observingand talking and asking, I
learned really quickly whatworked and what didn't work. So
that part was actually reallyeasy to figure out the workout
part. I just had to trust that Iwas figuring it out.

Yeah, I would. Like I like I have to
kind of laugh at some of thisjust because I remember coming
home and asking you like, isthis the right workout? To do?
Or should we push in this area?
Or should we, you know, shouldthe volume go up? Or should the

(36:28):
speed you know, go up? Like Iasked you all of these questions
consistently. And the teams ourcoaching? Were like, Well, no, I
mean, completely dominant. Theywere they were incredible. And I
was going to you and asking you,I just find it funny that the

(36:50):
one thing that you were hesitantabout is really the one thing I
was going to you aboutconsistently when I was coaching
at CBA. And they were havingsuch crazy success, because I
would come home, but I don'tknow, like, Should we do this
workout? Or am I being toogreedy? And all this and we

(37:11):
would have these conversationsand okay, you know, that makes
sense. It's just funny that theone area that you felt you were
maybe weakest was the one that Iwas going to use, because I was
like, I need your insight about.
And it worked, by the way. Sothank you.

Well, yeah, I mean, you always came up
with the workouts, I justbasically said, Yeah, that's
great.

No, I came up with work outs. So there were
multiple workouts, I just didn'tknow which workout to do, which
is like super important. Like,there's always a lot of
different workouts you can do toachieve a goal. It's just which
one is actually the best one todo. Right now. Like, it's really
hot. Well, there's 10 differentworkouts you can do, which is

(38:00):
the best one to do when it'sreally hot. It's a different
workout than when it's reallycool. Or the team just came off
a big race. And big race canmean a different whole bunch of
different things likeemotionally big race, or just
physically big race. So I justfind it funny because like the,
the areas that I'm like, Oh,she's locked in, it's not even a

(38:23):
big deal. You're thinking, Ineed a little bit more
confidence where it's like, No,those are the areas you need no
more confidence. So enough ofcomplimenting you. We're done
with that. We can do that nextweek. What's next? Is it
literally what's next? Or is itfloating our fancy? What is

(38:45):
floating our fancy holding ourfancy? I knew it. Okay, there we
go. Okay, you start what'sfloating your fancy coach.

All right, what's voting? My Fancy is a
product you can use for runningnow that it's hot in a lot of
places in the world. And there'ssome humidity and there's some
sweating. There can also be somechafing. I sound like an ad
right now, this is not an ad orsponsored in any way. But if
they wanted to send me stuff Iwould if they wanted to send me
some stuff. I would take it. Butit is squirrels nut butter. So

(39:17):
yes, part of the reason I loveit so much is the name. Oh my
God. Are

you holding it right now?

I am holding I'm pretending I'm on an
ad.

We're literally like you do know that
we don't have the video thingyet. So like you wish you did.
Oh my gosh. Where did you findit because you were looking for
this the other night?

I know and I found it. So it squirrels not
better. It's all natural antichafe salve. It smells
delicious. It has a cool lastname and it works better than
any other product I've tried.
It's so good. So I'm loving it.

Okay, wow.
Geez. You came prepared, overlyprepared because no one's
watching this

What's holding your fancy?

I can't hold it up state and local
parks. Can I just tell you why.
Great, please do. So, when wewere in Naperville for the
Wildwood PDX conference,obviously, we just spoke about
the beginning. We came across atrail system. Unbelievably soft
trails. Totally gorgeous.

(40:29):
Everything was amazing. And Ithought somebody had to get this
okayed, somebody had to get thisbuilt. Somebody has to make sure
that this is kept up. It'samazing. And I'm only here
visiting. This is terrific. If Ilived here. I would come here
all the time. Number one, numbertwo, Tammy and I today, okay,

(40:51):
granted, you're listening tothis tomorrow. But today, we
went to try and State Park,which is what about 5k from us.
And it's got a reallycomplicated and a good way,
trail system in there. But I wasnoticing that there were a few
parts were like, Oh, this islittle overgrown, and a few
parts where I'm like, Oh, theyactually somebody went out and

(41:14):
cut the weeds to make sure thatthe trail was not just
accessible. But it was reallynice to run on. And I thought,
you know, we show up at theseparks, local parks and state
parks, and we take them forgranted. And I had such a nice
time at Tryon State Park. Socheers to the State Forest

(41:40):
Rangers and everyone who keepsthese parks going. And if you're
wondering how to help or supportthe sport, an easy way is
actually to support state andlocal parks. So my flips
floating my fancy right now ourstate and local parks. That's
it.

Love it.
And I feel like we forgot tomention for people to send us
their questions. You mentionedthe mailbag, the same mailbag,
but just Yeah, make sure you'resending us questions to answer
on podcast, not just the onethat I'm on with you. We can
just delete this part out sincewe already said it.

Why would we delete it out? I say, say it
again. In fact, say one moretime. What Why do we want people
to send stuff to the mailbag?

Because we love answering questions. And

there's a couple of shows, right? What are
the three shows? They can sendto the same address? Questions?

Okay, so we have on Tuesdays, we have to
coach Bennett's talking which isthe podcast you're listening to
right now. Yep. On Wednesday, wehave my podcast, the show up
society podcast, that is themother

of all podcasts because without that
none of these other ones wouldexist.

And then Thursday, we have coach
Bennett's podcast, meaning theMr. Coach Bennett.

Yes, yes.
The laughs or Coach Bennett.
Yes, Minister slash lessor.
There we go. Guess but it's allthe same address, right?

All the same address. It's in the
shownotes, which is basically inthe description, depending on
what podcast player you use, butthe show notes are basically
just the description of thisepisode, you will see your
address, you can send some mail,and any kind of goodies you want
to send we like getting youknow, books, stickers, letters,
we've gotten some really nicethoughtful letters, which we

(43:31):
always appreciate,

you know, which we'll probably touch upon
on the next episode. And we alsohave gotten a overwhelming
amount of candy. And I thinkthat's because you have stressed
candy

which is why I didn't bring up candy on
this one. I'm like trying totake a little step back here if

you want to try something else. No, no, not
vegetables. Don't sendvegetables. God no. Oh my gosh.
Yeah. Just it's weird.

That you could send us some hot sauce
because we Yes, we like hotsauce spicy things. Yes, we love
hot and just some local hotsauce local to where you are.
That's a

great idea.
And and on top of that. Onething we could do, which I'm not
going to promise but it isbrought it up as it seems like a
promise we could taste testedand let you know how hot we
think it is or how delicious itis.

Or we could do a video we could just
kind of copy hot ones. That'swhat I mean. Yeah. Oh, yeah. And
just while we're recording thepodcast, we can have the hot
sauce that you send us.

I was thinking separate but yet well
if we actually combine both,yeah, well, maybe we should
video the podcast because you'reholding up squirrel Nut Zippers
or whatever it's called. That'sa band very

different.
Yes. Okay, scroll. No, this isthis is what I say. How about
when we get, shall we say sevenor 10 hot sauces in the middle.
from different people they havedifferent right? Yes, then we
will record a video episodewhere we are eating the hot
sauce while we record theepisode and we'll we'll have it
on video.

I love that. That's a great idea.

Okay, so if you want to be a part of it
listener, you got to send us thesauce. Send us the sauce.

For the record. Let me just say this
now, this was supposed to be a30 minute episode, because I
have to edit it. I can't see howlong it is because you're the
one recording it long. So thisis not a 30 minute episode. Is
it?

Unless you do it times two. Are you for
real? Pretty much we have onequestion I go. What's next?

I'm gonna know what is next. I'll tell you
what's next for me editing thispodcast. What's, what's next for
you?

This is so funny. Just to point out this is
like, what happens in theevolution of a podcaster? Is you
start out going, Oh, we're gonnarecord episodes ahead of time,
or we're gonna record one or twoat a time. So we're ahead. And
then whatever you like 10episodes in so

we're not 10 episodes in what are foreign,
and you never told me this part.
You just said it was gonna be

you saw it happen. You saw it happen where
then all of a sudden, it's like11 o'clock at night, the night
before your podcast comes outand you're still recording and
editing. This happens to me somany times, but you're this is
just what happened.

But you're a badass I'm I'm like GV you
like you. You needed to tell melike? Yes, what I do, you
probably can't do. You're reallyreally good at stuff. I just I'm
married to Mrs. good at stuff.
Like I

will play toon blast next to you on the
bed while you're editing. I'llgive you support moral,
emotional support by

ignoring me and playing a game. Okay. Yes,
it's awesome.

Okay, so anything else next for you?

Um,

well, I was just gonna say I thought
what you were going to say whatelse is next for you, not only
will you be editing thispodcast, but you will be
recording your personal podcast,Coach Bennett's podcast. So I
thought this would be a greattime to mention that it is the
number one running podcast inthe world. It's kind of badass.

Super cool.
But there, I will say this, I'mgoing to bounce it back to you.
And then we're going to cut thisoff. Like there is no coach
Bennett's podcast unless thereis a sharp society podcast and
then a to coach Bennett'spodcast because I absolutely
could not have done it. If youhadn't done what what number of
podcasts you want to show upsociety? 180 something? If you

(47:37):
hadn't done 170 something? Iwould not have done it. So thank
you. I think it's a cool way ofending this episode.

We're just gonna skip over what's next for
me, or

I think it's a cool way of ending the
episode after you tell me what'snext for you.

And you could have done your podcast, it
would just maybe it would havetaken longer?

No, it just wouldn't have been as good it
would have been as successfuland wouldn't have been in which
it will want it just wouldn'thave happened. I would have
done. What's up with you today.

Okay, two cool things. One is tomorrow
with my clients, I am leading avisualization exercise which I
have done many times in the pasthigh school groups or groups
that I've taught, I did all theway back in like 2013 or 14 at
Bennett camp, I had them do avisualization of their goals. It

(48:35):
was so successful. So cool. Likeit's a really big hit with
people. So what happens is we'llmeet on the Zoom Room, I will
give them prompts for a solidhour of helping them imagine
their goal being accomplishedand all the things that goes
with it. So then it just becomesreally real in their minds what
their goal is and then achievingit. And it's just really fun. So

(48:56):
I'm super looking forward tothat. And then I'm going to
visit my mother and my siblingsat the end of this week. And I'm
looking forward to that becauseit's been quite a while almost
two years.

Has it been that long since you've been back
in North Carolina?

It's been that long. Oh,

I'm sure the weather's fantastic. late
June North Carolina. Oh, theheat and the humidity.
Perfection. That was sarcasm.

Yeah, if you like heat and humidity, it's
the perfect place to go in July.
And June.

It is I will say this your mom's place.
There's a few spots in her yardthat actually are perfection.
There's something about the heatand humidity in North Carolina
is different in the south. Andyour mom has these awesome
gardens like ah, there are somereally, really nice spots. So

(49:51):
hunt those down. Because that'sthat's just about perfection for
North Carolina. late spring,early summer. When you're
getting the heat and humidity,there is some joy there.

Now we can call it a day or a night.

Oh, it's definitely the night. It's
definitely the night it maybleed into the day. But thank
you, everyone for listening.
Thank you, everyone for writingthe show, by the way, we're
paying attention. Thank you somuch. Thank you for sharing the
show. And subscribing to theshow. Right? Tam right.

Yeah.
Thank you for all that. Thankyou for sending us letters in
the mail to you.

Oh, goodness, it actually does, it
always comes back

to the mailbag.

It really is all about the mailbag. So
thank you for writing to us.
Thank you for listening. Anduntil next time.

See you next week.

This is why by the way, we need to do this
on video or YouTube or whateverbecause there were some some
dance moves that Tammy justthrew in there that everyone's
missing out on I feel like

just imagine walk like an Egyptian
video.

Yeah. But lower budget than the video and
the video was really super lowbudget, like crazy low budget.

Okay, we're doing that thing where we
say goodbye. And then we hangout for a long time. So I throw
one

more thing in there, which is cool about
them. I know you don't want meto but the bangles were super
supportive by Prince. Prince wasa big fan of the bangles. So if
you like Prince, and you thoughtlike I don't need to listen to
the bangles you do. Alright, onthat note, thank you so much for
listening. rock'n'roll. Thanks,Tim.

See you next week. Bye. Thank you for
hanging out with us today. Wehope you subscribe if you
haven't already, and we'd lovefor you to give us a good
rating.

Remember, you can send your questions into
our mailbag at the address foundin the show notes.

If you want to connect with us further,
be sure to check out Coach ChrisBennett on Instagram at Coach
Bennett to NS two T's or go

to coach Tammie Bennett, Instagram at
sharp society. You can also hearmore Tammie on the ship society
podcast.

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