Two Flat Earthers Kidnap a Freemason
STITCHES is the home of Two Flat Earthers Kidnap a Freemason, Christmas Diner and The One Stars. Good Pointe’s lineup of original satirical dark comedies. Each season is a stand-alone limited series created by Jeremy Ellett. Season One: Two Flat Earthers Kidnap a Freemason "Randy Dunning and Gayle Kruger, two conspiracy obsessed Influencers, kidnap a Freemason in an ill-advised attempt to uncover the "Secret Knowledge" of the world." Season Two: Christmas Diner "An unstable man takes the patrons of a small town diner hostage on Christmas Day.” Season Three: The One Stars "One Star Reviews from all across the Multiverse. Overrated Moon Vacations. Haunted Electronics. Cat beds that don't come in human sizes. Its MST3K meets One Star Reviews in this award-winning comedy fiction podcast. Starring Autumn Hardwood (as Emma Elizabeth) and Blythe Renay.." STITCHES. The Fiction Podcast home for Satirical Dark Comedy. Created by Jeremy Ellett.
Episodes
August 24, 2021 • 42 secs
A satirical dark comedy about Secret Societies and Internet Conspiracy Culture.
Conspiracy loving Flat Earthers, Randy Dunning (Zane Schacht) and Gayle Kruger (Lauren Grace Thompson), will do anything to make the next great viral video. They’ll even kidnap a Freemason and keep him locked in their basement until he tells them what the Freemasons are really doing behind those closed doors.
Written and Created by Jeremy Ellett.
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February 11, 2022 • 39 mins
Two Flat Earthers Kidnap a Freemason, Episode 1: Shadowbanned
Randy Dunning’s quest for internet immortality is interrupted by a shadowban.
Writing, Sound Design, and Musical Arrangement by Jeremy Ellett.
CAST:
Zane Schacht as Randy Dunning.
Lauren Grace Thompson as Gayle Kruger.
Jack Carmichael as the Narrator.
Matthew Woodcock as Walter.
David Ault as Mac.
Addison Peacock as Karen.
Michelle Kelly as Charlott...
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February 25, 2022 • 34 mins
Two Flat Earthers Kidnap a Freemason, Episode 2: Toasted Ravioli
Randy, Ed and Gayle try to create the next great viral video. Doctor K has a secret to share with the group.
Writing, Sound Design, and Musical Arrangement by Jeremy Ellett.
CAST:
Zane Schacht as Randy.
Lauren Grace Thompson as Gayle.
Charlie Wes as Ed Choom.
Jack Carmichael as the Narrator.
David Sillars as Doctor K.
Addison Peacock as Karen.
Rob Schw...
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March 18, 2022 • 34 mins
Two Flat Earthers Kidnap a Freemason, Episode 3: And Everyone Clapped
Just another day in the life of Freemason Walter Clay.
CAST:
Matthew Woodcock as Walt.
Jack Carmichael as the Narrator.
Mike Paul as the Worshipful Master Mason.
Gabrielle Adkins as Amari.
Charlie Wes as Ed Choom.
Jordan Stillman as Judy.
Kristian Lawrence as Freemason Neil.
Brandon Finch as Freemason Terry.
Cornelius Mohr as Freemason Saul.
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April 1, 2022 • 32 mins
Two Flat Earthers Kidnap a Freemason, Episode 4: Thanksgiving Music
The end of the St. Louis Flat Earth Society. And the beginning of something else.
Writing, Sound Design, and Musical Arrangement by Jeremy Ellett.
CW: Funeral, Death, Abduction.
CAST:
Zane Schacht as Randy.
Lauren Grace Thompson as Gayle.
Matthew Woodcock as Walt.
Jack Carmichael as the Narrator.
Charlie Wes as Ed Choom.
Addison Peacock as Karen.
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April 14, 2022 • 28 mins
Two Flat Earthers Kidnap a Freemason, Episode 5: All My Homies Hate Sir Isaac Newton
Randy and Gayle finally have their Freemason. Now what do they do?
CAST:
Zane Schacht as Randy.
Lauren Grace Thompson as Gayle.
Jack Carmichael as the Narrator.
Josh Rubino as Sir Isaac Newton.
Matthew Woodcock as Walt.
Graham Rowat as Newsham.
Scottye Moore as Sgt. Dirkwater.
Abby Espiritu as Derby.
Su Ling Chan as Debra.
Ryan Phil...
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June 17, 2022 • 28 mins
Two Flat Earthers Kidnap a Freemason, Episode 6: The Observer's Local Horizon
Ed Choom does everything for everyone. Charlotte does her job.
CAST:
Charlie Wes as Ed.
Zane Schacht as Randy.
Lauren Grace Thompson as Gayle.
Jack Carmichael as the Narrator.
Kale Brown as Jimmie.
Michelle Kelly as Charlotte.
Jordan Stillman as Judy.
Phil Sherwood as Jay.
Mike Paul as the Worshipful Master Mason.
Kristian Lawrence a...
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July 7, 2022 • 25 mins
Two Flat Earthers Kidnap a Freemason, Episode 7: Who Will Stand Guard?
The Freemasons panic. Mac takes Arlo under his wing.
CAST:
Jack Carmichael as the Narrator.
David Ault as Mac.
Dean J. Smith as Arlo.
Sena Bryer as Larry.
Dallas Wheatley as Illuminathan.
Ryan Philbrook as Doctor One.
Cole Burkhardt as Doctor Two.
Kristian Lawrence as Freemason Neil.
Brandon Finch as Freemason Terry.
Cornelius Mohr as Freemason S...
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July 30, 2022 • 27 mins
Two Flat Earthers Kidnap a Freemason, Episode 8: Almost Famous
Randy checks in at Conspiracy Con while Gayle is forced into babysitting duty.
CAST:
Zane Schacht as Randy.
Lauren Grace Thompson as Gayle.
Jack Carmichael as the Narrator.
Matthew Woodcock as Walt.
Addison Peacock as Karen.
Rob Schwarb as Mike.
Graham Rowat as Newsham.
Maya Murphy as Millie.
Faith Dowgin as Gloria.
David Hanna as Art.
James Ferrero as ...
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August 13, 2022 • 40 mins
Two Flat Earthers Kidnap a Freemason, Episode 9: Enter the Echo Chamber
Everyone wants to know the answer. But nobody wants to hear the truth… It's the 12th Annual Conspiracy-Con in Kansas City!
CAST:
Zane Schacht as Randy.
Lauren Grace Thompson as Gayle.
Jack Carmichael as the Narrator.
Matthew Woodcock as Walt.
Graham Rowat as Newsham.
Addison Peacock as Karen.
Rob Schwarb as Mike.
Erin Lillis as Rosemary Dun...
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October 2, 2022 • 21 mins
Two Flat Earthers Kidnap a Freemason, Episode 10: My First Time Using a Chainsaw
Randy and Gayle meet a new friend at the Hardware Store.
Sir Isaac Newton recites his "Catalog of Sins."
CAST:
Zane Schacht as Randy.
Lauren Grace Thompson as Gayle.
Matthew Woodcock as Walt.
Jack Carmichael as the Narrator.
Josh Rubino as Isaac Newton.
Addison Peacock as Karen.
Kenneth Faircloth Jr as Samuel.
Su Ling Chan as Ameena.
...
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November 11, 2022 • 31 mins
Two Flat Earthers Kidnap a Freemason, Episode 11: The Top Five Serial Killers in St. Louis
Randy and Gayle attend a meeting of the Maple Hill Murder Club.
Writing, Sound Design, and Musical Arrangement by Jeremy Ellett.
CAST:
Zane Schacht as Randy.
Lauren Grace Thompson as Gayle.
Jack Carmichael as the Narrator.
Aiden Littlewood Johnson as Bobby and Coco.
Addison Peacock as Karen.
Graham Rowat as Newsham.
Caroline M...
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November 15, 2022 • 48 mins
Two Flat Earthers Kidnap a Freemason, Episode 12: SCP-2FEKAF: BOBO
SCP-2FEKAF: Bobo is a special CROSSOVER EPISODE between SCP Archives and Two Flat Earthers Kidnap a Freemason.
Randy and Gayle visit Angshin Pass and come face to face with a monster from Randy’s past. (It’s Bobo.)
CAST:
Zane Schacht as Randy, Trail-Cam Watcher, and Radio Ad One.
Lauren Grace Thompson as Gayle.
Atticus Jackson as the Narrat...
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November 22, 2022 • 32 mins
Two Flat Earthers Kidnap a Freemason, Episode 13: A Just and Upright Mason
Mac and Arlo continue their search for The Owl of Euclid. Mac talks to an old friend. Arlo meets the Void.
CAST:
Jack Carmichael as Narrator.
David Ault as Mac.
Dean J. Smith as Arlo.
Graham Rowat as Gary.
Tom Laflin as Scott.
Ryan Philbrook as Scottie.
Newt Schottelkotte as Scooter.
Sena Bryer as Larry.
Megan Carter as Alex.
Josh Rubin...
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January 5, 2023 • 42 mins
Two Flat Earthers Kidnap a Freemason, Episode 14: Kafkaesque
Randy and Walt finally agree to be honest with each other. Something weird is going on with Gayle.
CAST:
Zane Schacht as Randy.
Lauren Grace Thompson as Gayle.
Jack Carmichael as the Narrator.
Matthew Woodcock as Walter.
Addison Peacock as Karen.
Rob Schwarb as Mike.
Josh Rubino as Sir Isaac Newton.
Ariel Hack as Emalema Bossbabe One.
Faith Dowgin as Emalem...
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January 19, 2023 • 24 mins
Two Flat Earthers Kidnap a Freemason, Episode 15: Multilevel Malevolence
Randy visits the bookstore. Mac gets answers. And Millie talks to the dumpster.
CAST:
Zane Schacht as Randy.
Lauren Grace Thompson as Gayle.
Jack Carmichael as the Narrator.
Matthew Woodcock as Walter.
David Ault as Mac.
Stephen Cullen as Simon.
Maya Murphy as Millie.
Graham Rowat as Newsham.
Rob Schwarb as Mike.
Michelle Lylia Tan as the Senti...
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January 26, 2023 • 31 mins
Two Flat Earthers Kidnap a Freemason, Episode 16: In Beautiful Orlando, Florida
A Flat Earther’s origin story. Why Randy Dunning is so Randy Dunning.
CAST:
Zane Schacht as Randy.
Lauren Grace Thompson as Gayle.
Jack Carmichael as the Narrator.
Matthew Ruzbasan as Young Randy.
Addison Peacock as Karen.
Matthew Woodcock as Walt.
Josh Rubino as Sir Isaac Newton.
David Ault as Mac.
Erin Lillis as Rosemary Dunning.
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February 11, 2023 • 53 mins
Two Flat Earthers Kidnap a Freemason, Episode 17: So It Goes Down (Season Finale)
Sir Isaac Newton tells all! Randy Dunning gives his all! It’s all coming to a head! The Season One finale of Two Flat Earthers Kidnap a Freemason.
Writing, Sound Design, and Musical Arrangement by Jeremy Ellett.
CAST:
Zane Schacht as Randy.
Lauren Grace Thompson as Gayle.
Jack Carmichael as the Narrator.
Matthew Woodcock as Wal...
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Two Flat Earthers Kidnap a Freemason, Episode 18: Forgive the Freemasons (Crossover Episode with Forgive Me)
Secret Freemason Father Klem hears the confession of The Ghost of Sir Isaac Newton. Its a Two Flat Earthers Kidnap a Freemason x Forgive Me Crossover Episode!
This episode was produced in collaboration with Rogue Dialogue Productions (roguedialogue.com) and Good Pointe Podcasts. If you enjoy this episode please check o...
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December 8, 2025 • 23 mins
Christmas Diner, Episode 1: All I Want
"Welcome to The Golden Griddle Diner. Open 24 hours. 365 days a year. Alex and Holly wait for the call that will change their lives forever. Reggie and Kathy get to work. And Buster places his order."
Writing, Sound Design, and Musical Arrangement by Jeremy Ellett.
STARRING:
Zane Schacht as Buster.
Erin Lillis as Buster’s Mother.
Peter Lewis as the Narrator.
Damon Alums as R...
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