October 6, 2025 • 64 mins
We swap stories from a Nashville night out and an Atlanta indie premiere, then dig into creative control, film festivals versus YouTube, and why great relationships feel like great teams. Vulnerability, humility, and effort beat spark alone, in art and in love.
• weekend recap at Duko’s and familiar faces
• the hood-comedy vampire film and its premiere
• sponsors, costs, and the reality of indie premieres
• why film festivals limit control and links
• the case for YouTube and compounding feedback
• building a team in filmmaking and life
• relationships as team sports, not solo stats
• humility, Moses jokes, and grounded confidence
• attraction, relatability, and fade-after-spark
• better questions that keep chemistry alive
• conflict style, coaching, and clear apologies
• friendship as the base layer of commitment
• ending with a cliffhanger on bowing out kindly
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_03 (00:00):
And we are back with another episode of two for the
culture.
I'm Justin Devante.
Steven Ray.
Yes, sir.
And we are back.
How you doing?
SPEAKER_01 (00:11):
How do I feel?
Um I feel like inside I feelgood.
It's just like my nose is justit's it's messing me up right
now.
I don't know why.
Are you sick a little bit?
No.
Okay.
I could you know, you know, youcan tell when you're sick.
Like this in here and it'snothing in there.
It's just it's just bottom.
SPEAKER_02 (00:29):
I got you.
So it's just like maybeallergies or something like
that.
Probably.
Um yeah, probably.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (00:36):
I got you.
It's gonna be gone tomorrow.
Understood.
How's your weekend?
Uh it was really good.
It was really good.
Yeah, you know, we we went outon Friday.
Yeah.
That was dope.
Uh Duco's.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Nice spot.
Yeah, I liked it.
I'm definitely going back there.
SPEAKER_03 (00:55):
Yeah, oh, for sure.
Yeah, it was it was a good time.
And saw some familiar faces inthere.
Yeah, yeah.
Uh yeah, yeah, yeah.
Right.
SPEAKER_01 (01:02):
Um uh what's his man's name?
Starlito was in there.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Which is definitely a Nashvillething that happened, I guess.
SPEAKER_03 (01:09):
But you know he went to MTSU, right?
SPEAKER_01 (01:11):
Mm-mm.
Yeah.
May maybe I did back then.
Yeah, yeah.
He went to MTSU.
No, no.
Uh what else?
What else?
No, I I had a couple uh I Icalled a couple people, had a
couple great conversations, andthen uh one night, I I think I
don't know if it was Saturday.
Yeah, I think it was Saturday, Icalled my sister, and she didn't
(01:34):
answer.
So instead of like calling againor texting her, I just like
blasted her across my Instagram.
I'm just like, I'm just havingfun with this stuff now.
I thought it was her birthday orsomething.
No, like I bet you're gonna seethis.
And she still didn't call me.
Okay.
But she liked every she wasasleep, but she uh she she she
(01:57):
woke up the next day and textedme.
Um, but yeah, I talked to my momtoday and she was like she
called her.
It was like Junior, keep postingme on your Instagram, and like
the why did you copy?
Mm-hmm.
Right.
But um either way, she's gonnabe she's gonna be in Nashville
at the the end of the month.
Okay.
But I think I might be inAtlanta at the end of the month.
SPEAKER_02 (02:20):
Oh what's what's uh in Atlanta?
SPEAKER_01 (02:22):
Um a premiere uh for Rob.
Um one of the movies that weworked on and edited on.
SPEAKER_03 (02:30):
Okay.
So when was that?
When did you edit on it?
SPEAKER_01 (02:35):
I'm trying to think.
If I was at your house.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Because we did another movie,and they did a premiere for that
movie.
So yours is it's the same cast,so that's what kind of messed me
up.
But I edited that at your yourcrib.
Okay.
SPEAKER_03 (02:53):
And has he released the trailer?
Yeah, he released it.
Okay, so what is it about?
SPEAKER_01 (02:58):
Um uh snow bunnies.
Okay, that's it.
You doing a documentary?
Uh no.
No.
It's about um, it's prettystraightforward a trailer.
It's like one of those like hoodcomedies, you know.
Um, so basically these guys,they go out in the town, and
(03:20):
then they um find uh someattractive women at um uh, well,
no, before they go out in thetown, it's at their job or
whatever.
They find some women, they'relike, hey, come out with us.
They go out with them, theyeventually like go back to the
the crib, and then it's like aweird vibe at the crib.
And basically it turns out thatthese um women are the they're
(03:48):
clearly like all white, exceptlike one of them.
But um, they're vampires.
All of them are vampires.
Okay, yeah.
So it's just mixed up.
But they work with them.
No, they came up to their job,they worked at it like a pizza
place.
Okay, was so it was at night?
Um uh uh that not not at thattime.
At that time it was in the day,but they said come out with us
(04:09):
tonight.
SPEAKER_03 (04:10):
So they're vampires walking in the daytime?
SPEAKER_01 (04:12):
They're regular, they didn't find out, you know,
till like way later.
Do you see what I'm saying?
SPEAKER_03 (04:18):
The the vampires were went to the oh went to the
daytime.
SPEAKER_01 (04:23):
You did that's a good one.
I did not I did not tell Robthat.
Um, maybe they got some specialblades.
SPEAKER_03 (04:31):
Okay, yeah, I got you.
They're half breeds, they'reblades.
Yeah, maybe they're half breeds.
Did he even have sunglasses on?
No.
SPEAKER_01 (04:41):
That's too funny.
That's hilarious.
Yeah, yeah.
It's all good.
SPEAKER_03 (04:44):
It was daytime.
Wow.
Yeah, yeah.
Oh well.
Hey, you know what?
It is what it is.
Next movie.
SPEAKER_04 (04:52):
Yeah, yeah, I got you.
SPEAKER_01 (04:53):
Yeah, but he's having a premiere in Atlanta.
He always does it big.
It's always super inspiring.
Just picture like, like I'msaying, like uh I edited
something at your house.
And then all of a sudden, likeuh um, I don't know what's a big
movie theater here, but just amovie theater.
SPEAKER_02 (05:13):
One of the one of the oaks.
Oh, okay.
SPEAKER_01 (05:15):
Uh IMAX, you got, you know.
I think that's the one I wentto.
Um, yeah, and it it's just likea huge event.
It's got the step and repeatthere.
It's like a real premiere.
So uh it's dope.
The whole cast, the crew, andthen a bunch of Atlanta comes
out to to watch it.
So he he always does it be.
It's very inspiring andmotivating to just even be in
(05:36):
that type of space.
SPEAKER_03 (05:37):
And so, and I'm sure he charges for the tickets or
no.
SPEAKER_01 (05:43):
Um, damn, I need to get that.
SPEAKER_03 (05:46):
But um, I don't, I don't I think so.
I guess my real question is sohow his expenses he just kind of
pays and just it's sponsored byuh Monster.
SPEAKER_01 (06:02):
Okay, the whole movie.
The the the the event, okay, Ithink.
And maybe some of the movie.
Okay.
Yeah, he he I don't know, doeshis own thing with the contract
wise.
Okay.
But um the events for sure isusually like sponsored by
Monster.
SPEAKER_03 (06:18):
And so what is his hopes?
What is his overall goal?
Is this like to get practice forthe big thing or hopefully this
picks up or what?
SPEAKER_01 (06:26):
Um same thing with the the I I don't know, the same
thing with um really kind ofanything.
You you you just want to keepgetting better at your craft and
it eventually is gonna take off,you know.
So this movie, I don't know ifhe thinks like that, but uh I I
doubt it.
We lasted in social media thislong.
(06:48):
It's usually like, all right,now let's make the next movie.
SPEAKER_03 (06:50):
I got at this point, but it just sounds like he loves
it in general.
Oh, yeah.
So he's gonna whether he reallymakes money, he'll probably
still do it.
Still do it.
Yeah, I gotcha.
SPEAKER_01 (06:59):
Yeah, we was making movies with nothing.
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah, like all the people thatwe were around.
We didn't have a main actor orwhatever, and I was I was with
Courtney at the time, like, heybro, you want hey, yeah, cool,
let's do this.
We can't hire writers, but meand you could sit down for a
month, you know, especiallyediting-wise, too.
(07:19):
So now it's at a point where itit's a little bit more cash flow
there.
So the movies are starting toget um, I don't know if that
movie goes to the category, butlike there's there are other
things that are coming out thatare like shot beautifully, and
like the the actors start to uhget a little bit more um
(07:44):
developed a little bit likeyeah, like people that's in the
like that's on things versuslike my homies.
Okay, I gotcha, gotcha.
Yeah, so things are starting todevelop naturally.
SPEAKER_03 (07:56):
Okay, I under understood.
It's it's really cool.
It's really cool.
No, well I'm happy, I'm excited.
Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (08:02):
That shit um that was like the other reason why I
uh picked Nashville.
I mean, you know, like 90% of itis Kyle.
But um, yeah, it is it's closeto Atlanta, so I could just
stuff like this, I could justlike go.
SPEAKER_03 (08:18):
Absolutely.
Yeah, no, no, that's that soundssuper dope.
I'm excited.
Yeah, yeah.
Just the whole experience, youknow, and just to see some
movement, you know, sometraction, because he has been
doing it for a long time.
Yeah, and it's great to stillsee he's passionate about it.
SPEAKER_01 (08:33):
Yeah, he he's definitely um I think the next
one.
Oh yeah, no, I think that oneexcuse me, that one, uh, I think
he's finally opening up to uhdropping on YouTube.
That was my whole thing from thebeginning.
Like, I don't really I I get howstrategic the film circuit is,
(08:54):
but I hate like people I hatehaving to talk to someone about
something I made and it's intheir control.
Like it takes a lot of the funout of it.
So even when we made uh one ofthe best movies that we made
together is called Knock andIt's on Tubi.
(09:17):
We made that it had to gothrough the film circuit.
So like I couldn't send anybodya link.
Like I I don't like that.
I mean, of course, I'm clearlyat this point I'm very um
conditioned to make somethingand just drop it.
But um I don't know, a part ofme just believes in myself like
a lot to where I'm still on thatmind frame of we still gonna
(09:43):
make another one.
So I'm not banking everything onthis one movie.
I just want to get better atmaking movies to where the
movie's gonna hit wherever weput it.
SPEAKER_03 (09:52):
So And are you more excited about seeing the
reaction to it?
Uh is that why the reason whyyou want to drop it?
SPEAKER_01 (10:00):
Uh uh well, movies in general, yeah.
I just feel like I have morecontrol.
It's really a control thing.
I have more control to let's sayif I go to an event or something
and there's a director therethat I like, like, hey, here's
this link of a movie that Imade.
Like, I don't have theopportunity to do that if it's
in the film circuit.
Like you're damn near signingyour movie away.
(10:23):
And it's but again, it canliterally change your life too.
SPEAKER_03 (10:28):
Yeah, I'm just wondering, I'm just trying to
break it down a little bitfurther because I know it's not
just about the link.
SPEAKER_01 (10:34):
It's it's it's it's like I I don't know the the 100%
of the like the technicality andall that uh of that, but I just
see what I'm saying though.
SPEAKER_03 (10:45):
Like you're talking about control thing.
You like I like to send it topeople as like okay.
SPEAKER_01 (10:49):
Well, I guess you can't send the movie to people.
I get what you're saying, Iguess on that.
I mean like the public.
SPEAKER_03 (10:54):
Okay, well, I'm just saying, like when you talk about
the control thing, do you likehaving control over your art a
hundred percent?
You know what I mean?
Is that what you're meaning?
Yeah, okay, yeah, but yeah, butI mean also you're as a team.
SPEAKER_01 (11:10):
Yeah, no, I mean it it is for us, but at the same
time, I guess it's going backmore so on what you said about
the reaction to.
It's just like I'm not makingthis to win an award.
Like, I'm making this because Iwant to make a good movie and
people to see it.
So that's more of what it is.
So yeah, friends and familysending it to everybody like
(11:33):
that.
That's that's cool.
I don't really like expect y'allto watch the movie unless it's
like a good one.
And like, because if I come toyou like, but you really gotta
watch, then then it's a realgood one.
SPEAKER_03 (11:43):
Right, and I'll watch it out of support.
SPEAKER_01 (11:45):
Yeah, I yeah, yeah.
But I I don't I I'm always liketrying to do the next thing, but
um I would say more of areaction, reaction to the actual
uh uh uh the whole process, youknow.
I don't like I I don't like thethought of like being an artist
and the label is like holdingyour music.
(12:05):
Yeah.
I mean you want to drop thisshit.
SPEAKER_03 (12:08):
Right.
I and so I agree with you inthat aspect, like if you're the
artist, you created the music,and they're just kind of the
financiers, and they pretty muchlike are controlling the
project, then yes, that is yeah,like this is my name on it.
This is I'm the artist whocreated this thing.
But you know, there's with themovie, there's all of y'all, you
(12:31):
know, you're directing, editingit, but you know, you also have
somebody who who's paying forthe things, who's also
producing, you know what I mean?
There's so many hands, it's ateam effort, so that's a that's
a lot of people's decisionmaking, not just your own.
SPEAKER_01 (12:44):
You know what I mean?
Yeah, yeah.
It it just feels like gambling alittle bit.
Like, we do all this to go intoa competition that nobody sees.
And it's like, it's for us, weknow what it is.
You know, when you win bestdirector or actor, this that,
but it's like that's just a postthat I can post on Instagram.
(13:05):
Like, hey, I did this film andda-da-da.
Again, I think I think it'ssolely based personally on I
just like creating things andletting it go.
SPEAKER_03 (13:18):
So, and I just don't understand what why are you not
dropping knock now?
Like, what do you mean?
Like in the city.
It's on Tubi.
Okay, so why not YouTube?
Oh, I don't know.
Like, I'm just saying, like,that's another streaming base.
SPEAKER_01 (13:36):
You know, you you have oh, he is no no, he he is
now making because this wassomething I was trying to
convince him of like years back.
SPEAKER_03 (13:44):
Um, but he is making a channel for um all his all his
uh the team the the movies, yes,yeah, exactly like an archive on
YouTube.
Uh no public.
SPEAKER_01 (13:56):
But yeah, yeah, my bad, my bad, my bad.
It it's a term like on Instagramwhen you archive a post like
that shit gone.
Oh, okay.
So I I was thinking I waspicking that up.
SPEAKER_03 (14:05):
But just like all his movies he's putting out.
That makes a hundred percentsense to me is to do that.
It's like, okay, now you havethis thing that's not earning
you any income, you might aswell drop it into different
platforms.
Yeah, yeah.
Now it's done what it wassupposed to.
Now you did all the festivalsthat's older, just release it,
you know.
Yeah, yeah.
(14:25):
Um so one of the things that youbrought up and that had reminded
me and just reminded me of, youknow, that my past relationship
or whatever, um, even thoughit's like I say past like it
wasn't last week, you know whatI mean?
But yeah, so um it was I I justhad this constant thought of
(14:46):
like a team and how being a partof a team when you're younger.
Um it just reminded me at thispoint.
It's like I wish every, youknow, like it the person I would
want to be with, I wouldultimately like a preference,
not like a ultimate, like, hey,this she's she's a teammate, you
(15:07):
know what I mean?
Check checkpoint.
So um is that they have playedon a team before.
Like doesn't have to be like,you know, uh you was in your
high school volleyball team, butif she was to ultimately like
play, you know, a local sportwith kickball, you know what I
mean?
Something that's team orientedto where it's you, another other
(15:31):
people, another person sharing agoal.
The reason why I start thinkingabout that lately is because a
lot of the things was like a youthing.
It's like, hey, if we're tryingto meet this ultimate goal, you
know, this gotta be an us thing.
We gotta raise each other.
Like when you're in football,you got offensive linemen who
(15:52):
protect the quarterback so theycan make the pass or receiver so
he can score.
Um, so that's a whole team to uhget a touchdown, to try to score
points, to try to win the game,try to get a championship.
So we're all here together, andit's not not just about me and
you, it's about us, about theteam.
And I think that's veryimportant quality that somebody
(16:14):
should uh that people shouldhave in general because it can
turn to you ain't doing this forme, you and you know, and vice
versa.
So that being said, do you kindof agree with that analogy?
Do you oh yeah, yeah.
Um or a point?
SPEAKER_01 (16:29):
Um again, that um well, I had a two-part answer.
Um I no longer believe I coulddo all this by myself, and all
this goes into whatever comesinto my head, whatever thought,
whatever movie, whatever I don'tknow, just even me releasing and
stuff.
(16:50):
Anything that has something todo with a dream of mine, whether
it's like make movies with myfriends or being Ray So Silly,
like I can't do it all bymyself, like to the moon.
You can do so far, but like it'sI don't think it's possible.
(17:13):
I don't think there was ever astory of someone doing that, you
know.
Um so no, I agree with you 100%on that.
I was just saying, like, I wouldprefer, you know, I prefer like
let's just drop this out.
SPEAKER_03 (17:26):
No, and I'm and now I'm going on to talk about
relationship.
Oh, okay.
Well Yeah, yeah.
Like my point is, hey, you havea um a sports background because
you know what team and theultimate goal looks like.
You have been there, whetherit's you know, um in the murals
(17:48):
to where it's like I'm in mylocal wall just playing
basketball, but it's hey, I maybe playing basketball, I may not
be able to drivel and get to thehoop, but I can set screens, I
can play defense, I can box out,I can rebound.
You know, it's all about doingthe little things so we can meet
this goal.
And I felt like when I was in inthe relationship, there was a
(18:09):
lot of things as like, yeah, youdon't know how to box out.
You know, you know, like youdon't you ain't really trying to
rebound for the team.
Yeah, yeah.
You you're really just focusedon scoring.
Yeah, it's all about yourself-acoles, in a sense, I'm
using it as a not not literally.
Um, so I was like, it's thelittle things, it's not you
(18:32):
always talking about this is noI and team.
It's like, all right, you'rejust doing the thing that's
going to make you look good, oryou're doing the thing that's
for you, yeah, but not for us.
And I was like, dang, I wish shewould have played more sports
because she could see it.
She could see that bigger goal,that bigger picture.
Because I I see where the littlethings so where it's a lot of
(18:55):
selfishness that you're thatyou're probably not even
thinking about.
Your brain doesn't even go therebecause you never had was in a
team environment.
SPEAKER_01 (19:03):
I I can get that.
I can I can get that.
I don't think I I get whatyou're saying.
It's hard because I've been withlike, you know, a few different
women, and like there are somethat did play on a team before
who was amazing.
And I did, I did feel like theywas a teammate.
(19:26):
There are other people who didplay on a team before, and it
just wasn't like I I don't know.
It just felt like it was theopposite.
But I still felt like that.
SPEAKER_03 (19:39):
Of of I mean, yeah, this ain't no this ain't gonna
be no cure-all.
Yeah, yeah, this is not acure-all, but I I saw a lot of
of you can be of course thatthere's ball hogs that exist.
They're on a team, but they're aball hog.
Yes, it's all about them,they're not setting the screens,
yes, they're not throwing theball passing the ball.
SPEAKER_01 (19:59):
That was yeah, I I wasn't trying to go there with
it, but yeah, yeah, that'sexactly what I meant.
SPEAKER_03 (20:03):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Um for sure.
But you're but there's also anextra added skill by playing in
that team.
Like when I was getting hired,one of the things that people
like is to see that you was in auh you're a team player.
Like I'm in a region, you know,our re our region cut up the
(20:24):
Midwest.
You know, I'm not there's a goalthat we have we would like to
hit.
We we're the biggest used wehave been, not this past month,
but have been the biggest usedmarket in the past since I've
really been there.
Yeah, yeah, and that's been agoal of ours to be the biggest
on used in the in the region ofselling vehicles.
So when everybody gets to thatgoal, we can meet it and we can
(20:46):
be there.
It's yeah, so if I'm justworried about getting a check,
yeah, yeah, and I'm not tryingto buy a little bit deeper to
get to the goal, then it's justabout me.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, yeah.
I'm just getting a check.
I don't care if we get this usedthing.
But so so managers, HR, they alllike team players, and so I'm
(21:09):
taking that in my relationship.
That don't mean just because youthat's not mean because you're
on a football team, you're gonnabe a good hire, or you're gonna
be uh, you know, just becauseyou play volleyball, that don't
mean you're gonna be right forme.
But it's an extra added skill.
Yeah, that I was like, okay, youyou at least understand the you
know what a team looks like,you're right, or if if not
(21:30):
necessarily a team, like um likemy my bigger brother, he had to
do all these unselfish things tomake sure we're taken care of
because we came from a singleparent household.
So he had to look after us andmaking sure we're safe and make
sure we get home.
You know what I mean?
Though that's not you're not ona team, essentially.
(21:51):
I mean you play the sport, butif you had some that's like,
hey, I know what it takes totake care of somebody because
that's my duty.
Yeah, yeah.
So that's it's uh that same typeof team skill.
You know, I I have a I have agoal.
I'm supposed to make sure thatgoal is to keep them safe, so I
gotta do this thing.
Yeah.
So, and I just recognize how bigof a skill that is to have when
(22:16):
I was in a relationship.
It's like, dang, you know, thisis I feel like I'm yeah, yeah, I
gotta uh rebound, box out,shoot, score, and then you know,
they hey, they just happy toraise a trophy like they did it
themselves, you know what Imean?
Like, so and and and that itconstantly be getting
frustrating, you know what Imean?
Yeah, to where it's like uhwait, yeah, because then now
(22:39):
it's like bruh, I don't evencare if we look like we ain't
going nowhere.
We ain't gonna win the ship, sowhy why why play my ass off?
You know, you know what I mean?
SPEAKER_01 (22:48):
That has happened to me before, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (22:51):
And it got to that point, it's like, bruh, we ain't
going nowhere.
Ain't no point me me me uhscoring, you know what I mean?
Out of breath.
Yeah, yeah.
I'm like, I'm dying, you knowwhat I mean?
Giving them my all.
Yeah, yeah.
And I've seen like, bruh, youhaven't even made it up to court
yet.
SPEAKER_01 (23:07):
Yeah, I I get what you're saying about that.
Yeah.
I've been in, yeah.
I've definitely been insomething like that.
And it is um there's in many,and many, many um uh what's the
word I'm looking for?
Uh version, situations in lifethat now I'm I'm even thinking
about you even saying that inlike many different areas of my
(23:30):
life where I feel like I couldjust be um just a better team
player, like just looking at umuh uh what what that means.
I had saw a podcast one time, Iforgot her name.
She was uh CIA agent.
I seen it at your crib when Iwas uh living.
SPEAKER_03 (23:46):
You're talking about the one with uh British dude?
SPEAKER_01 (23:49):
Yes, Stephen.
Yes, but um and she was justsaying how you know people like
wanting to be number one and allthat.
That kind of changed my thoughton a lot of that stuff.
Like, I do feel like I don'tknow.
(24:10):
There are days where I'm like,man, I'm the goat, I'm goaded.
Um that I do feel like that.
I I don't I don't I don't go onInstagram and see people like me
on Instagram.
It's very one-of-one-ish.
So but I know that like eventhough if I were to say that,
like I'm the goat, I'm this, I'mthat, she said we're all here,
(24:33):
and you you you you reallystrive when instead of you
looking at I'm not one, it'slike you realize that we are all
here basically for like acts ofservice.
So and that kind of goes intolike what you're saying too,
(24:53):
like in relationships, it's ait's a it's it's like you said,
it's like a team.
So just because you want toshoot and ball hog and this,
like you you you can do that,but at the end of the game, is
the team really strong for real?
So, you know, and that's kind ofhow I think about a lot of
different S uh a lot ofdifferent places in my life, um,
(25:13):
even down to the content, it'sjust like I I'll say that, like
no, I'm the goat.
I'm cuz I'm just like let's justsay you just hit the game
winning shot or something.
And you're gonna say, man, I'mthe goat or whatever, but it's
not really about that.
It's about like being a part ofsomebody somebody told me
(25:35):
something one time of when whenuh they were meditating that I
put in my meditations now, ofbeing one with the earth.
It's just like we're all a partof this flow of energy, and it's
it's it's better to be, I feellike, to live knowing you are a
part of of the makeup of thisgeneration versus like you I
(26:03):
don't know, you you you you thenumber one nigga all the time or
something like that.
It's cool to strive to that, butlike everybody's you you never
stay number one, nobody everdoes.
So, but Denzel, he probablylooks at himself like that.
Well, I don't know, I don't wantto say it because he be saying
some super real shit.
But like, you know, somebody,somebody in that caliber can
feel like that.
(26:23):
They're like, you know, I'm thenumber one, da-da-da-da-da.
But I don't know, I feel likeyou make better movies when you
you know you're like a part ofthe energy of like the work of
acting or something.
You know what I'm saying?
Like the best movies I seenain't the the the Marvel movie
that came out on Friday.
You know what I'm saying?
(26:44):
So I I just think that uh uhwith with with a lot of things,
it's just like being one withlike everything.
It's is it's kind of likehumbling.
You don't get too far up and youdon't get too far down because
you know you got like you'reyou're you're you're providing
acts of service versus like I'mthat nigga.
I feel like in the middle, it'sjust like you understand what's
(27:07):
going on.
SPEAKER_03 (27:07):
If that makes sense.
So is it more speaking on beinghumble?
SPEAKER_01 (27:12):
It's in yeah, in a way, but you can still pop your
shit too, but just know that youcould be wiped from the earth
tomorrow, like and then what?
It's like but when you feel likeyou're a part of something or
even down to a relationship,when you feel like you're a part
of like this cycle of love,there's always ups and downs and
(27:35):
ups and rights and all this typeof stuff.
But when you're a part ofsomething with your partner and
you're like locked in, like Isaid, like the teammate thing,
you're kind of you're one withthe whole thing versus like I I
I don't know, like versus uh thefor instance, even going a
little deeper of uh uh um I doboth sides, you know, like uh
(27:58):
women who want a husband versuslike wanting to be a wife, and
like men who want a wife versuswanting to be a husband.
You get what I'm saying?
Uh I said that ties in a deeperlevel with relationships as
well.
When I was saying I mentionedone time the difference between
a woman who wants to be a wifeversus a woman who wants a
(28:20):
husband.
It's like that's not the samegirl.
And that's not the same dude ifit's a guy who just wants a wife
versus like wants to be ahusband.
Because that's a two-part thing.
That's not right, you know.
I'm I'm just taking your, I'mjust getting all of you, you
know what I'm saying?
If I'm not walking around like ahusband and shit, I'm just like,
(28:42):
you know, damn near sound likefuck boy a little bit.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (28:48):
When speaking of humble, we was on uh it was
Bible study.
It was so you know, Moses wroteExodus.
Uh-huh.
And then so he wrote, but also,and uh it says, and it was
written that Moses was the mosthumble than anyone else on the
face of the earth.
But you also wrote it.
SPEAKER_00 (29:08):
You know what I mean?
SPEAKER_03 (29:10):
He wrote that in there, yeah, yeah, yeah.
So so I'm just I was justtalking about humble, like we
were talking about popping yourstuff.
Yeah, he did.
SPEAKER_04 (29:20):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (29:22):
Yeah, so it's like it was just like being humble
but also popping it, and it justreminded me of it.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
Uh huh.
SPEAKER_01 (29:29):
I write my own book.
He was a great guy.
SPEAKER_03 (29:34):
The most humble on the face of the moment.
Humble on the face.
Yeah.
I just find that hilarious.
That is too funny.
SPEAKER_01 (29:41):
Um, I hope.
That's that's a part that'sliterally you you literally
basically described what I wassaying in another word.
Like Moses did kind of pop hisshit a little bit, but it is a
part of the book.
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah, it was ordained by God.
SPEAKER_03 (29:52):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah, so it I just find thathilarious.
Okay.
So When we went to Dugo's,right?
Yeah, yeah.
I had a great time.
First of all, I wish you wouldhave tried the chicken because
it was so good.
The food was really great.
I must have just ate orsomething.
Um, you had Popeyes at that criband you was eating on on that a
little bit, but it wasn't enoughto really think you wasn't going
(30:13):
to, you know, try some.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (30:16):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That morning or something.
SPEAKER_03 (30:19):
So so I don't know if you remember, but you was
like, uh you mentioned that youfound all black women
attractive, at least the ones.
Do you remember saying that?
Uh like most.
Yeah, exactly.
Like, it's like as long as theyain't ugly, but I was like,
okay.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So can you break that down alittle bit more?
SPEAKER_01 (30:37):
Like I said, I just I I think this is just for me
growing up in um in Memphis.
My mom's black.
Yeah.
Like she got what six, seven,eight brothers and sisters.
I didn't know she had that many.
I got I got cousins, you know,um uh went to public school.
I'm just trying to like give youthe the gist of what I've seen
(31:00):
for what maybe like 20 years ofmy life before college, and
people start looking a littledifferent.
But um I don't know, man.
I just I I don't know.
Like you gotta not, you gottanot be cute.
Like, you know, for me to justbe like, oh, you know, I I do
realize I I give them, I don'teven want to say there's gotta
(31:25):
be a better way of saying that.
I I just have a very I thinkit's relatability.
I think like that relatabilityfactor and me being able to like
have a conversation and I Idon't know, it's just like I'm
from a certain place.
(31:46):
So like to talk to people that'skind of from that place too, it
just can add to the attraction.
So even if you a six, like youknow, you're about 7.2 now, you
know what I'm saying?
Oh okay, I got you, I got you.
Yeah, but like if you're I don'teven want to say, but you if
(32:07):
you're if you're something elseand you know that's that that
that's it's gonna be a strongsix, you know what I'm saying?
Okay, so if you're if you'relike the same attractive on on
both levels, like myrelatability to this, I don't
even want to say specific race,because like a lot of people can
(32:29):
come from that um upbringing,but that relatability, man, that
shit is is so So that's an extraadded boost, yeah, to you.
Okay, definitely, definitelysuper added boost.
And like nine times out of ten,it's it if they black, it's
already there.
You know, so that's why I saidthat.
I'm like, you gotta be like if Idon't want to talk to you, I
(32:52):
don't want to have aconversation with you at all,
like you know, you gotta I don'tknow.
I I think it's it's gotta be onthe deep end.
SPEAKER_03 (33:00):
Okay, okay.
Yeah, no, I was you know thatbecause of course that came from
you know me sparking aconversation with the lady next
to me.
You know, it's like yeah, she isvery pretty, but yeah, yeah.
Uh but if it but I felt like wewas looking at her with two
different set of eyes, and it'sit, yeah.
And so that's what kind ofreminded me, it was like, okay,
yeah, I think she's pretty too,you know, yeah.
(33:21):
Yeah, but you're like, she fine,you know, like I'd be calling
everybody, yeah.
I know that's why I'm like,okay, maybe I'm I become but I
just be seeing it in them, yeah,you know, yeah.
No, I think she yeah, but Ididn't really get it because I
was, you know, more so focusedon the conversation that I
didn't really get the like thelook you up and down type of
checkout.
You know what I mean?
I would nah I I don't thinkthat's what she was on.
SPEAKER_01 (33:42):
I think I just say fine quickly.
Okay.
I do I do do that sometimes.
I'm like, oh damn, she fine, allright.
Like, yeah, versus like the thelook up down thing out.
I've I haven't that that thatdoesn't usually correlate.
Okay, you know what I'm saying?
I I could just see like damn,she, you know, it's in her own
right of who she is, she fine.
(34:03):
I I mean maybe fine is likeexaggerated from some people
that I say that about, but yeah,um, yeah, you know, people can
just be that in their own right.
Yeah, right, right.
Yeah.
So I think, yeah, I think likeone of my exes got mad at me one
time because like I don't thinkI have a type for real.
Like I don't think it's aspecific thing.
(34:27):
You know, I also feel likepeople who do have a super type,
I feel like that's kind of weirda little bit.
Okay, not at first, but when youon your fifth nigga that looked
all look alike, is that notweird?
SPEAKER_03 (34:41):
I I never really thought about it.
SPEAKER_01 (34:43):
Yeah.
Well, I was a part of a type, soI was like nigga number three or
four.
Oh, okay.
And then somebody else after me,I'm like, bro, all us look
alike, man.
Right.
Like, you know, I'd rather bethe different one in this bunch.
SPEAKER_02 (34:56):
Okay.
SPEAKER_01 (34:57):
I got you.
Okay.
Yeah, we all look like weauditioning for the same role
here.
I got you.
SPEAKER_03 (35:01):
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, no, I mean, I it is,it's kind of people have their
preferences for whatever reason.
They like what they like.
I think they also see what theywant the baby to look like too.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So that is my mom said that.
unknown (35:20):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (35:20):
It kind of hurt my feelings a little bit, but I
love who I am.
SPEAKER_03 (35:23):
Okay, I got you.
SPEAKER_01 (35:24):
Like, what'd she say?
It's just, you know, my dad'swhite.
Yeah.
So like that.
That's one of light-skinnedkids.
Clearly.
Okay.
She wanted something like that.
She said that though.
She said, she said somethingalong the lines of it.
I I don't I don't rememberexactly verbatim what she said,
but clearly when she wasyounger, that had to be a
thought in her head, like, Iwant some cute babies, and da da
(35:44):
da da.
And then, you know, I guess mydad showed up.
She's like, you know, that couldmake some cute babies.
So I got you.
It is what it is.
SPEAKER_03 (35:55):
Yeah.
No, I mean, and I and I can seethat sometimes because I I feel
like that kind of raises a barwith uh what a girl sees in me,
is that she pictures her childhaving green eyes.
Oh yeah, it ain't gonna go likethat, sweetheart.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
The it's you know, my butt Ihave uh three uh two other
siblings, and you know, I'm theone with them.
(36:16):
So wow.
Yeah, yeah.
So it ain't a guarantee.
Yeah.
Um That is funny.
Do you do you think uh just asmy homie, do you think I have a
type?
Uh nah.
I don't I think well, I thinkyou like you have a preference
of black women.
You have a black womanpreference, I think.
(36:37):
And I think it it stems fromrelatability, but I think it's
yeah, I don't think that you'reuh I can't see you marrying a
white woman at all.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
So so I mean there is I don't Idon't want to say a type more so
than elimination.
Uh uh.
Yeah, like you like you takingcertain preferences that you
(36:58):
wouldn't go for.
Yeah, but you know, I couldthere's other cultures that
you're willing to date andpursue.
Yeah, yeah.
I think they just have to havemelanin in them, you know.
SPEAKER_01 (37:08):
I'm gonna well yeah, like not yeah, some melanin.
So is that melanin?
SPEAKER_03 (37:14):
I mean, like some, yeah, but I mean there's all
different types of shades of uhall races.
SPEAKER_01 (37:20):
It was relatability though.
That's why I said that.
Like sometimes it could likestep out of that that space.
Um, but like it definitely wasrelatable.
How she kind of I mean, ofcourse the Puerto Rican thing
was a little different.
SPEAKER_03 (37:34):
But I don't think you really even care for it if a
white woman came from went toCraigmart.
You know what I mean?
Like, like, would you still beinterested?
I'm curious.
SPEAKER_01 (37:45):
You know, you never know.
Yeah, I I got you.
Okay.
I got you.
Yeah, yeah, but uh yeah, I Iwouldn't know.
I haven't I haven't um yeahyeah, I haven't dabbed into
that.
SPEAKER_03 (37:57):
Yeah, because as most crap as I get about dating
um white women.
Yeah, that was a whole phase.
Um I I I don't think that was aphase.
I think that I like who I likebecause you know I can name
specifically, like for everywhite woman I dated, there's
another black woman I I wasequally as interested in.
Yeah, and I I can name names,but it's a podcast.
(38:18):
Yeah.
So so there's like girls that II did like, or who even that
before I dated my firstgirlfriend who was white, there
was like uh uh somebody who isuh of darker, darker melon who I
also liked a lot.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So it it just literally did notmatter to me.
(38:39):
Like I'm literally yeah, so Ican date an Asian woman, I can
date Indian, you know, like ifit was just me, now I'm also
gonna take culture factors.
Like if you're Hindu, it's allit's probably not gonna work.
If you're Muslim, it's probablynot gonna work.
But if if it's you just take ustwo and just take remove all the
factors we lived in the cave,uh, you know, I could definitely
(39:02):
fly with that.
Yeah, and I wouldn't have aproblem.
So I know I don't have a type,it just looks that way.
Because I also I think that umcertain women really go for uh
certain men too.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So yeah, so some are gonna bemore proactive to pursue their
man versus other people, and soyou know, and I'm I'm the
(39:26):
person, you know, I'm more goingto have a convenience sometime.
Yeah, yeah.
If you're after me, I was like,I'm gonna probably and I and I
think this is probably witheverybody, right?
Like, and I think women moreespecially.
Like, hey, if a if a man's afterthem, they're more likely gonna
give them time than somebodywho's not really giving giving
that attention.
unknown (39:46):
Oh no.
SPEAKER_03 (39:46):
You don't think so?
Like, I'm just saying, like, ofcourse, it has to work that way
because that that man is notgiving them attention at all.
So you're like, man, let me seewhat you're talking about.
SPEAKER_01 (39:54):
It depends on what type of woman it is, right?
SPEAKER_03 (39:56):
Um, but they're not gonna go after the man that's
not giving them attention.
They're not, they're not womenaren't gonna, for the most part,
not gonna be chasing after aman.
SPEAKER_01 (40:05):
I I can kind of see that.
Yeah, for the most part.
I do I do understand what you'resaying too, about um when a
woman like just wants you,you're just kind of like more
open to like what is this, youknow, or more curious about like
what this would be like.
Is that true?
Just if she's like clearly likehands down, like like I want
(40:26):
you, like for real.
And there's only a certain typeof women that would do that,
yeah.
Right, yeah.
I think that's that's that's howI ended up with the Puerto
Weekend girl.
Yeah, yeah, I got you, yeah.
Yeah, I was like, I've never hadthis before.
SPEAKER_03 (40:39):
Yeah, yeah.
And there was a lot of thingsshe was coming correct with as
well, too.
To where it's like, oh okay, Ican, you know, I can be in this
for a minute.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (40:48):
Yeah.
But I definitely was open tothat because you know, it it was
just um, it's just it's a totaldifferent feeling.
Um, and that's why I almost uhwhat I was trying to say was I
just think it's a differencewhen a woman wants the man
versus like the man wants thewoman.
I don't think that usually umthat that usually works out.
(41:12):
Like I don't I don't want mywife to say I ain't like him at
first.
I don't like that.
I got you.
Yeah.
Like I don't think I don't thinkit's gonna work out.
SPEAKER_03 (41:20):
Right, yeah.
Because I'm not I'm not theactive pursuer.
Yeah.
I d I don't I don't live in thatworld.
So so and I think that'sprobably uh you know that I
don't know how to look at it,but I think it's you know uh a
benefit on our side that we dolook we do look decent.
(41:41):
So yeah, yeah.
So women are naturally justgonna cut their eyes at us.
And if they do, they look theother way.
There's many more women that'sgonna find us attractive.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, so so I guess that's whereit comes from too.
Um, but the there's alsosomething I want to mention uh
when we was talking about umlike attractiveness and um
(42:05):
energy and things like that.
So back to the ghost, you know,meeting that lady for the first
time.
Like you mean you?
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So, you know, I'm sparking tothe person next to me.
I can kind of see that she'slooking at me.
Um, but you know, me comingfreshly off a relationship, you
know, I'm not I'm really justkind of wanting enjoy my time.
(42:27):
I'm definitely not trying to hopin anything new, yeah.
But she, you know, we're havinga conversation, and so now I
don't feel any way about youknow, like trying to impress
anybody.
Yeah, so I'm just you knowhaving that conversation, we're
just talking, you know, and thenthe con conversation keeps on
(42:47):
getting a little bit deeper, youknow, and then now I'm just like
kind of oversharing and andthings like that, and then the
the connection kind of gets alittle bit closer.
I was like, okay, actually, youknow, and now we're I'm talking
about church, you know, likewhat church do you go to?
I was like, I'm church ofChrist.
Um, and then you know, and sheshe she has a you know the
stigma of church of Christ.
(43:08):
You you may not know the stigmaof church of Christ, but one of
our things is that we don't playmusic or it we don't play
instruments, and you know whichare we doing?
We sing, we it's like morearchaped style.
For real?
Yeah, mm-hmm.
Okay, yeah, yeah.
So you have those types of yeah,yeah, yeah.
Uh so we have several differentstigmas, but that's one of them.
Um, and so she was just kind ofasking questions, like, you
(43:30):
know, would you be like, couldyou see yourself leaving the
church of Christ?
And like, honestly, that's nothappening.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So you can get that.
So it was the the thing, what Iultimately getting at is the the
questions are actually datingquestions that we're getting to.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, like you know, how manykids you want type of question?
And then, you know, now foodcomes out, we're sharing food.
(43:52):
Now it feels like a first date.
SPEAKER_01 (43:54):
And I'm like, I did not see that part.
SPEAKER_03 (43:56):
What sharing the sharing the food?
Yeah, yeah, and it it was it wascool because I like when people
are more relaxing.
Not not like necessarily like ifshe was farting in front of me,
like like that, you too, you youtoo relax.
But the fact, you know, like youknow, you're like I'm I'm like,
hey, you know, I'm a sharer, iswhat I said.
And then so she starts eating,and then she's kind of eating
more, you know.
Like I find that little stufflike that cool.
(44:18):
Like, oh, you're comfortable,and I'm I'm cool with it.
Um, that means that you you'recomfortable with me being here,
it's not like a weird thing.
You're right, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Like he like now, it's like, allright, he I've somewhat
validated his mind that he's nota creep in a sense.
Uh-huh.
Oh, yeah, for sure.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So um to that point, is um it'sit's funny because after that
(44:43):
first initial meeting, it's kindof like the chemistry's kind of
suede it.
Now it's back to like, you know,like disappearing a little bit.
Yeah.
And it's weird how that I don'tknow if it if it's weird to you
how that happens.
It to where like now it's likeit's that initial spark and it's
heavy, it feels good, you know,and then it just kind of
(45:05):
dissipates like the followingday, then a couple days later,
it's like I you know, I don't,you know, I don't really care
like I was when I first had thatinitial meeting.
Um I have dealt with that a lot.
SPEAKER_01 (45:19):
Whole lot.
Yeah, yeah.
Not just, you know, I don'tknow.
SPEAKER_03 (45:23):
And like it do you feel that your well, I guess my
question is, do you feel thatyourself?
Like that chemistry lessening?
Yeah, I do it.
Okay, yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (45:32):
Yeah, not not to just um I don't know.
It's like it's a certain type ofperson that I need to be talking
to.
Like, like I said, even the thethe going back to what I was
saying about relatability, it'slike it needs to be, my
(45:53):
personality needs to be ourpersonalities need to be like
meshed in a way where it canlast past like a couple
conversations.
And I feel like there is only acertain type of people for each
(46:14):
personality to like stay around.
Yeah, that happened to me.
Um I got used to it.
I got used to, I'm used to itright now.
I know exactly what it is assoon as as soon as I don't get a
message, I'm really being Iwell, I don't know.
I I'm really I do that shit.
(46:36):
Like I I I'll wake up the nextday and I'm like, man, I don't
know, like that was an amazingconversation and this, this, and
that, and I don't know what itis, but something kind of just
like fades off a little bit, andthen I might just go and lock in
again with my own life.
And there's only a certain typeof people that stay around in
(46:58):
that.
And I think effort is a thing.
Effort is a thing.
So I can see when somebody'slike, oh, you like you actually
want to talk to me or like nothe the the when the answers go
like um how are you today versuswhat's the best part of your
(47:24):
day?
Like certain type ofconversations keeps you locked
in, and I don't think that a lotof um I don't know, I don't I
don't like chase the women, soI'll be there for the first
conversation, you know, and I'llI'll I'll I'll thought-provoking
(47:46):
conversation.
I'm I'm a I'm a really goodconversationalist.
Like I just realized that aboutmyself, but I don't know, if I
ask you a deep question and youdon't say, and you know, like
this, it's like it is it juststarts to I feel like I'm doing
too much, right?
(48:06):
But I know I'm not because I'mclearly like holding this
conversation.
You probably didn't meet a guylike me before.
Okay.
So you're interested in thisconversation.
SPEAKER_03 (48:16):
You should want to know more, type of thing.
Like, why don't you want to knowmore because I'm not the
everyday guy?
SPEAKER_01 (48:22):
Is that kind of what you're not not from that stance,
but the stance of like goodconversation, yeah.
It's not about like me thinkingI'm like I'm him, it's just like
bro.
I just asked you what what wereyou thinking about when you were
three and your mom did this orwhatever, you know what I'm
saying?
And and that you just gave me adeep answer or whatever.
(48:46):
And I know you're not havingthese type of conversations all
the time, right?
So it's just like when it startsto kind of just be one sided, or
like energy is just not in thatsame realm, then I'll start
pulling back.
So I'm guilty of it, and thenI've I see people do that with
me as well.
(49:06):
So like maybe we're not we mightbe attracted to each other,
maybe we relate to certainthings, but after that, it's
like I don't know, I I I need totalk to somebody that I can like
always talk to.
Like even if I don't know, thereare just certain type of people
(49:31):
that are out there that I I'veseen myself not pull away from,
and it's weird, and then usuallythen I might end up dating that
girl.
But um it's it's it's not asrare as you think.
Like to me, it's kind of likeand I've been single for uh I
don't know, uh what, basically ayear now, and even before then,
(49:55):
I was only dating my ex for likefour months.
So I've been single for a longtime.
Yeah, in a way, yeah.
Some people be like, seventhyear.
SPEAKER_03 (50:06):
Yeah, right.
I mean, sure.
I was like that for a very longtime.
Yeah, yeah.
And um it's it's hard to kind ofget out that phase for a little
bit because you're used to doingthings your way, how you want to
do it.
Um you know, you could go outyou want to is checking in, you
know, making sure.
Like I think the biggest partabout dating me in the beginning
(50:28):
was like things, hey, don'tforget you gotta do this thing.
You know what I mean?
Like, yeah, it's it's andbecause I'm used to be going my
own way.
And so when I it's like, dang,you know, I can we can't have
like dang I can have a decentright now, but I can't, so I'm
mad at you.
I can't I can't do it, you knowwhat I mean?
(50:50):
Yeah, yeah.
And uh yeah, it wasn't that Iwasn't mad at her for that, but
uh so but it was one thing likedang, I want to talk to this
chick, but I'm in arelationship, and you ain't
doing your part.
This but this is w where thething of me being it was
somewhat selfish um and ignorantin a way, is that I was it's
(51:13):
like I felt like you ain't doingenough, and I I'm getting like
women are trying to talk to meand I and I'm frustrated that I
can't speak to them.
And then I feel like now I'mputting that on you, like do
more, like keep pique myinterest, but it's fine.
And I feel like that waschildish, yeah, yeah.
In the beginning, yeah, in thebeginning, but then as as I got
(51:36):
uh in this situation or likemore in my relationship, it's
like where that was like I'mputting unnecessary pressure
from her, you know what I mean?
That's like not fair, yeah,yeah, yeah.
Yeah, and it's like now like nowI'm I feel like it was somewhat
toxic that I was like it's atrait that I'm glad I I think it
was just me being single for along time.
(51:57):
Yeah, and I was like, if you'reyou know, and I felt like that
was that was the same, but to befair to myself at that time, I
also was aware that was the samething for on my side that I had
to make sure I was on my gamebecause you know somebody else
could, you know, pick up whatI'm doing, you know, or be more
(52:17):
interested in my girl.
So but yeah, but I uh that wassomething that was one of the
beginning stages of like I Ican't really do anything right,
you know what I mean?
Because you're asking for moreand more.
Granted, some of the things Iwas saying were were true, yeah,
but it was where it was comingfrom.
So it's like you know, where itwas unfair, if that's making
(52:39):
sense.
SPEAKER_01 (52:39):
I can you know I I can get I I feel like that's
that's like that's likerelationships wrapped in a um in
in in a bundle or or whatever,like is is in terms of um being
aware of where things are comingfrom, like small tips, small
(53:02):
like breedings of resentment andall that, that can be on both of
y'all's sides from like twodifferent things that y'all are
doing or experiencing.
SPEAKER_03 (53:12):
So yeah, and and I can make it more clear and more
uh image or make it visualize ita little bit better.
It's like if I'm telling you,hey, you need to clean the house
more.
This, for example, I never saidthis, but yeah, you need to
clean the house more becauseKeisha down the street says
she'll clean my house more.
(53:32):
Yeah, and now I'm like Keisha isnot in this relationship, so why
are you even in you know,entertaining that?
Yeah, yeah.
So, and that's when it was likeI had to kind of self-check
myself.
It's like I'm if that shouldhave been a complaint of mine
without Keisha being there.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, yeah.
If I had an issue, it shouldhave been between us.
(53:54):
It's not because Keisha now itexists and saying she would do
this thing for me.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Just keeping it like in theyeah, like don't let outside
forces be the reason why youwant to um why the the excuse of
what's what's wrong with yourrelationship in essence.
SPEAKER_01 (54:14):
I think that's a um uh uh a time to tap into like
just uh vulnerability um forboth parties in a relationship
when things come up.
Because that's that's I'mthinking about relationships
that I've had and and there arecertain things that could have
(54:36):
been a total differentconversation if it was like um
why why'd you take a picture ofthis girl when she asked you to
take a photo of her?
But in reality, you could havesaid, Hey, I was treated a
certain way in my pastrelationships, and like this is
(54:57):
bringing up some trauma for me.
And like, can you if you wouldhave said that to me, we could
have got over that together.
SPEAKER_03 (55:02):
Yeah, I I totally agree.
You see what I'm saying?
Yeah, I I totally agree, butpeople uh it goes back to that
man who I cut off of the roadthat screamed, yeah, yeah.
It's like people are gonna allarchate articulate themselves
like that in that manner, yeah.
Sometimes they just kind ofscream.
(55:23):
Like, like yeah, like that wouldthat's how I love to kind of
like thank you for making meunderstand instead of just
lashing out because now I'mreacting how you how what you're
doing at this moment, and nowthat's a thing too.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So now we're yeah, now we're nowwe're battling instead of
getting somewhere.
(55:43):
Yeah, yeah.
Because now, yeah, yeah.
I may have pinched you, now youpunched me.
Now it's a battle.
Yeah, yeah.
And it's like, okay, that makessense.
SPEAKER_01 (55:51):
Yeah, that was that was um one of the biggest things
that I realized, like inrelation.
Now again, like it depends onwho you with.
So you know, that's that couldbe tough to even like try to
teach somebody.
And you they nobody likes to betaught anything, bruh.
So like um that that can getdifficult, but it it it
(56:14):
literally depends on who you'rewith, what stage of life you're
in.
SPEAKER_03 (56:18):
And and and that's how uh that's one of the biggest
things in uh my pastrelationship was that that kind
of very thing.
That was a like thing that Icouldn't cut through.
Is I'm telling you how I like tobe coached, and then you're
saying, hey, don't tell me howto don't don't don't tell me how
(56:39):
to talk, pretty much.
Yeah, I'm like, all right, likeI was like, I'm telling you.
I'm just like I'm telling youwhat what gets to me.
Yeah, you just being mad andlashing out and ain't really
productive.
But I'm saying, hey, if you sayit this way, I can understand it
more.
But but having this like it wasone thing, it's like saying I'm
(57:04):
sorry is like out of yourvocabulary.
You're like, you know what Imean?
Like that's I think it wasliterally one of the things,
just like apologizing, likesaying I'm sorry is like that's
not something you do, like likeis that foreign?
SPEAKER_01 (57:17):
You know, yeah, I've yeah, I've been with people that
do that.
That I just again, like I said,I feel like it depends on a
multitude of things, and it'sthe the the place you are in
your life, what y'all have gonethrough, and who y'all are like
as a person type thing.
(57:38):
And yeah, just being kind ofkind of just like how good of a
a friend like can you be?
You know what I'm saying?
Because it's when you're in arelationship, we lose the sense
of like we're friends.
Like I and that was that wassomething that um I was thinking
(58:00):
about the other day.
I was like, damn, you know, likeI I I wanted to, but I was at a
different place to where I'm Iprobably lost it after a certain
point of not being vulnerable.
I probably like gave up after acertain point and like not
really telling this person, Iactually want to talk to for
real.
Like you're my best friend, likeI need you, like in this what
(58:25):
the the the the the the like wewere saying about like love and
like teamwork and all that typeof stuff, just even like emotion
and or mental-wise, you know, itwould be nice to know I'm
talking to like my friend.
But then when we lose that, andthen now it's like you know, I'm
the man, you the woman, and weboth trying to like tell our
(58:48):
stuff, and then if somebody thethe what's it called, small
microaggressions when not whenthat starts to happen, then like
you kind of lose the message,and really y'all just bro, y'all
want to like understand eachother as friends, as people, you
know.
So I feel like a lot of peoplelose that as well as make not
(59:09):
have that developed.
Um the upbringing and all thatstuff and how they dealt with
issues or trauma and theirfamily and hard conversations
with those type of people orfriends too, it all affects
everything.
So I don't know.
I I hope my next relationship,you know, that's I mean, I'm
(59:31):
pretty I I I trust myself atthis point.
I kind of know what to like lookfor in terms of at least
initial.
Everybody initially uh iswearing their representative,
but uh or it's being theirrepresentative, but yeah, that's
that's that's huge for me.
Like if I can I I I think I saidthis before, before I got into
(59:51):
my last relationship, like beingpretty ain't enough, bro.
Like it's like that can be I'mI'm never looking at our good
moments.
And a lot of people do.
I get that.
But I feel like I if I if I messwith somebody or whatever, like
I I can I can tell when you whenI can have fun with somebody and
(01:00:13):
have great moments withsomebody.
I don't be looking at that.
I be looking at, bruh, like youyou didn't address this thing
that I I kind of asked of youand all that because that can
alter the whole week.
That can make me not want to goout with you this weekend.
Right.
Absolutely.
So yeah, that thatvulnerability.
(01:00:34):
That's that's like very, veryum, I'm not even gonna say rare,
but a lot of people should workon that for sure.
SPEAKER_03 (01:00:43):
Okay.
So it reminds something that yousaid um reminds me of the
question I have.
I do want to save it because Ifeel like it's it's a it can be
a long conversation, or it maynot, but I'll I'll say I'll um
I'll ask it and um you canchoose on if you want to save it
(01:01:04):
or or keep it for next week.
Well uh yeah, one uh yeah, so Iso let's let's just try the
let's let's just say it and thenwe'll have it for next week.
Well, what is it?
Oh okay, oh yeah, right.
Um do you think say you'reinitially attracted to a woman,
right?
Then you're talking to her for aa couple weeks, and you find out
(01:01:26):
she's not the person for you.
Could you architect articulatethat person uh to that person
that you're not interestedanymore?
Um do you want to say that fornext week?
SPEAKER_01 (01:01:39):
Or I mean usually when things aren't like I said,
when you when when things aren'tlike messing, it usually just
fades off.
SPEAKER_03 (01:01:49):
Yeah, but what if she's super interested in to
into you?
Uh into me.
Because I mean y'all talked tolike when I talk about like the
girl, like we you know, we'retalking about very
relationship-oriented thing.
What if that would have gottenfurther?
What if we would have had sex?
What if, yeah, not all thesethings get intertwined, but you
realize because you said youknow who you want.
(01:02:10):
Yeah, well, you may not knowthat in the first two weeks, but
you're going all the way therewith it.
Now y'all, your energy is onfire, then she has some of these
traits that you don't reallylove.
Now it's deeper, it's hard, it'sdeeper just trying to penetrate
that the traits that she has.
Like, I don't know if this issomething I'm willing to live
(01:02:33):
with.
So you gotta be the person toturn her down.
She's going all the way withyou, you know, she's willing to
take it further.
SPEAKER_01 (01:02:42):
Uh I I've dealt with somebody once where I had to
tell her like um that we werejust friends.
And how how did they so tell methat story?
You know, it it it just it itkind of things like kind of
spark quickly and I just feltlike I I knew.
(01:03:04):
I was like, I don't this how didshe take it?
I think I said it.
I didn't say it like I just saidit.
I said it in way more P way.
But I don't I don't remember.
It was just well throughout it,I could kind of I could I could
I kind of picked up on certainthings and you know before it
(01:03:26):
got like to different points ofthat friendship, I always made
sure I threw in there, like Iain't looking for no
relationship right now.
Okay, I ain't you know, but notnot like straight up cutting her
off, yeah, but just like youknow, just casual talking, like,
yeah, but I I mean you know I'mlocked in, I ain't looking for a
(01:03:47):
relationship right now.
But um, and that that that wouldbe it.
My my shit just stopped.
But uh yeah, not now.
Okay, yeah, so we we gotta endthis.
SPEAKER_03 (01:04:00):
Hey, we left our cliffhanger, we're gonna keep
that going, right?
Uh huh.
And then uh, but this is too forthe culture, we'll be back.
We'll be back.
And we are back with another episode of two for the
culture.
I'm Justin Devante.
Steven Ray.
Yes, sir.
And we are back.
How you doing?
SPEAKER_01 (00:11):
How do I feel?
Um I feel like inside I feelgood.
It's just like my nose is justit's it's messing me up right
now.
I don't know why.
Are you sick a little bit?
No.
Okay.
I could you know, you know, youcan tell when you're sick.
Like this in here and it'snothing in there.
It's just it's just bottom.
SPEAKER_02 (00:29):
I got you.
So it's just like maybeallergies or something like
that.
Probably.
Um yeah, probably.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (00:36):
I got you.
It's gonna be gone tomorrow.
Understood.
How's your weekend?
Uh it was really good.
It was really good.
Yeah, you know, we we went outon Friday.
Yeah.
That was dope.
Uh Duco's.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Nice spot.
Yeah, I liked it.
I'm definitely going back there.
SPEAKER_03 (00:55):
Yeah, oh, for sure.
Yeah, it was it was a good time.
And saw some familiar faces inthere.
Yeah, yeah.
Uh yeah, yeah, yeah.
Right.
SPEAKER_01 (01:02):
Um uh what's his man's name?
Starlito was in there.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Which is definitely a Nashvillething that happened, I guess.
SPEAKER_03 (01:09):
But you know he went to MTSU, right?
SPEAKER_01 (01:11):
Mm-mm.
Yeah.
May maybe I did back then.
Yeah, yeah.
He went to MTSU.
No, no.
Uh what else?
What else?
No, I I had a couple uh I Icalled a couple people, had a
couple great conversations, andthen uh one night, I I think I
don't know if it was Saturday.
Yeah, I think it was Saturday, Icalled my sister, and she didn't
(01:34):
answer.
So instead of like calling againor texting her, I just like
blasted her across my Instagram.
I'm just like, I'm just havingfun with this stuff now.
I thought it was her birthday orsomething.
No, like I bet you're gonna seethis.
And she still didn't call me.
Okay.
But she liked every she wasasleep, but she uh she she she
(01:57):
woke up the next day and textedme.
Um, but yeah, I talked to my momtoday and she was like she
called her.
It was like Junior, keep postingme on your Instagram, and like
the why did you copy?
Mm-hmm.
Right.
But um either way, she's gonnabe she's gonna be in Nashville
at the the end of the month.
Okay.
But I think I might be inAtlanta at the end of the month.
SPEAKER_02 (02:20):
Oh what's what's uh in Atlanta?
SPEAKER_01 (02:22):
Um a premiere uh for Rob.
Um one of the movies that weworked on and edited on.
SPEAKER_03 (02:30):
Okay.
So when was that?
When did you edit on it?
SPEAKER_01 (02:35):
I'm trying to think.
If I was at your house.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Because we did another movie,and they did a premiere for that
movie.
So yours is it's the same cast,so that's what kind of messed me
up.
But I edited that at your yourcrib.
Okay.
SPEAKER_03 (02:53):
And has he released the trailer?
Yeah, he released it.
Okay, so what is it about?
SPEAKER_01 (02:58):
Um uh snow bunnies.
Okay, that's it.
You doing a documentary?
Uh no.
No.
It's about um, it's prettystraightforward a trailer.
It's like one of those like hoodcomedies, you know.
Um, so basically these guys,they go out in the town, and
(03:20):
then they um find uh someattractive women at um uh, well,
no, before they go out in thetown, it's at their job or
whatever.
They find some women, they'relike, hey, come out with us.
They go out with them, theyeventually like go back to the
the crib, and then it's like aweird vibe at the crib.
And basically it turns out thatthese um women are the they're
(03:48):
clearly like all white, exceptlike one of them.
But um, they're vampires.
All of them are vampires.
Okay, yeah.
So it's just mixed up.
But they work with them.
No, they came up to their job,they worked at it like a pizza
place.
Okay, was so it was at night?
Um uh uh that not not at thattime.
At that time it was in the day,but they said come out with us
(04:09):
tonight.
SPEAKER_03 (04:10):
So they're vampires walking in the daytime?
SPEAKER_01 (04:12):
They're regular, they didn't find out, you know,
till like way later.
Do you see what I'm saying?
SPEAKER_03 (04:18):
The the vampires were went to the oh went to the
daytime.
SPEAKER_01 (04:23):
You did that's a good one.
I did not I did not tell Robthat.
Um, maybe they got some specialblades.
SPEAKER_03 (04:31):
Okay, yeah, I got you.
They're half breeds, they'reblades.
Yeah, maybe they're half breeds.
Did he even have sunglasses on?
No.
SPEAKER_01 (04:41):
That's too funny.
That's hilarious.
Yeah, yeah.
It's all good.
SPEAKER_03 (04:44):
It was daytime.
Wow.
Yeah, yeah.
Oh well.
Hey, you know what?
It is what it is.
Next movie.
SPEAKER_04 (04:52):
Yeah, yeah, I got you.
SPEAKER_01 (04:53):
Yeah, but he's having a premiere in Atlanta.
He always does it big.
It's always super inspiring.
Just picture like, like I'msaying, like uh I edited
something at your house.
And then all of a sudden, likeuh um, I don't know what's a big
movie theater here, but just amovie theater.
SPEAKER_02 (05:13):
One of the one of the oaks.
Oh, okay.
SPEAKER_01 (05:15):
Uh IMAX, you got, you know.
I think that's the one I wentto.
Um, yeah, and it it's just likea huge event.
It's got the step and repeatthere.
It's like a real premiere.
So uh it's dope.
The whole cast, the crew, andthen a bunch of Atlanta comes
out to to watch it.
So he he always does it be.
It's very inspiring andmotivating to just even be in
(05:36):
that type of space.
SPEAKER_03 (05:37):
And so, and I'm sure he charges for the tickets or
no.
SPEAKER_01 (05:43):
Um, damn, I need to get that.
SPEAKER_03 (05:46):
But um, I don't, I don't I think so.
I guess my real question is sohow his expenses he just kind of
pays and just it's sponsored byuh Monster.
SPEAKER_01 (06:02):
Okay, the whole movie.
The the the the event, okay, Ithink.
And maybe some of the movie.
Okay.
Yeah, he he I don't know, doeshis own thing with the contract
wise.
Okay.
But um the events for sure isusually like sponsored by
Monster.
SPEAKER_03 (06:18):
And so what is his hopes?
What is his overall goal?
Is this like to get practice forthe big thing or hopefully this
picks up or what?
SPEAKER_01 (06:26):
Um same thing with the the I I don't know, the same
thing with um really kind ofanything.
You you you just want to keepgetting better at your craft and
it eventually is gonna take off,you know.
So this movie, I don't know ifhe thinks like that, but uh I I
doubt it.
We lasted in social media thislong.
(06:48):
It's usually like, all right,now let's make the next movie.
SPEAKER_03 (06:50):
I got at this point, but it just sounds like he loves
it in general.
Oh, yeah.
So he's gonna whether he reallymakes money, he'll probably
still do it.
Still do it.
Yeah, I gotcha.
SPEAKER_01 (06:59):
Yeah, we was making movies with nothing.
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah, like all the people thatwe were around.
We didn't have a main actor orwhatever, and I was I was with
Courtney at the time, like, heybro, you want hey, yeah, cool,
let's do this.
We can't hire writers, but meand you could sit down for a
month, you know, especiallyediting-wise, too.
(07:19):
So now it's at a point where itit's a little bit more cash flow
there.
So the movies are starting toget um, I don't know if that
movie goes to the category, butlike there's there are other
things that are coming out thatare like shot beautifully, and
like the the actors start to uhget a little bit more um
(07:44):
developed a little bit likeyeah, like people that's in the
like that's on things versuslike my homies.
Okay, I gotcha, gotcha.
Yeah, so things are starting todevelop naturally.
SPEAKER_03 (07:56):
Okay, I under understood.
It's it's really cool.
It's really cool.
No, well I'm happy, I'm excited.
Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (08:02):
That shit um that was like the other reason why I
uh picked Nashville.
I mean, you know, like 90% of itis Kyle.
But um, yeah, it is it's closeto Atlanta, so I could just
stuff like this, I could justlike go.
SPEAKER_03 (08:18):
Absolutely.
Yeah, no, no, that's that soundssuper dope.
I'm excited.
Yeah, yeah.
Just the whole experience, youknow, and just to see some
movement, you know, sometraction, because he has been
doing it for a long time.
Yeah, and it's great to stillsee he's passionate about it.
SPEAKER_01 (08:33):
Yeah, he he's definitely um I think the next
one.
Oh yeah, no, I think that oneexcuse me, that one, uh, I think
he's finally opening up to uhdropping on YouTube.
That was my whole thing from thebeginning.
Like, I don't really I I get howstrategic the film circuit is,
(08:54):
but I hate like people I hatehaving to talk to someone about
something I made and it's intheir control.
Like it takes a lot of the funout of it.
So even when we made uh one ofthe best movies that we made
together is called Knock andIt's on Tubi.
(09:17):
We made that it had to gothrough the film circuit.
So like I couldn't send anybodya link.
Like I I don't like that.
I mean, of course, I'm clearlyat this point I'm very um
conditioned to make somethingand just drop it.
But um I don't know, a part ofme just believes in myself like
a lot to where I'm still on thatmind frame of we still gonna
(09:43):
make another one.
So I'm not banking everything onthis one movie.
I just want to get better atmaking movies to where the
movie's gonna hit wherever weput it.
SPEAKER_03 (09:52):
So And are you more excited about seeing the
reaction to it?
Uh is that why the reason whyyou want to drop it?
SPEAKER_01 (10:00):
Uh uh well, movies in general, yeah.
I just feel like I have morecontrol.
It's really a control thing.
I have more control to let's sayif I go to an event or something
and there's a director therethat I like, like, hey, here's
this link of a movie that Imade.
Like, I don't have theopportunity to do that if it's
in the film circuit.
Like you're damn near signingyour movie away.
(10:23):
And it's but again, it canliterally change your life too.
SPEAKER_03 (10:28):
Yeah, I'm just wondering, I'm just trying to
break it down a little bitfurther because I know it's not
just about the link.
SPEAKER_01 (10:34):
It's it's it's it's like I I don't know the the 100%
of the like the technicality andall that uh of that, but I just
see what I'm saying though.
SPEAKER_03 (10:45):
Like you're talking about control thing.
You like I like to send it topeople as like okay.
SPEAKER_01 (10:49):
Well, I guess you can't send the movie to people.
I get what you're saying, Iguess on that.
I mean like the public.
SPEAKER_03 (10:54):
Okay, well, I'm just saying, like when you talk about
the control thing, do you likehaving control over your art a
hundred percent?
You know what I mean?
Is that what you're meaning?
Yeah, okay, yeah, but yeah, butI mean also you're as a team.
SPEAKER_01 (11:10):
Yeah, no, I mean it it is for us, but at the same
time, I guess it's going backmore so on what you said about
the reaction to.
It's just like I'm not makingthis to win an award.
Like, I'm making this because Iwant to make a good movie and
people to see it.
So that's more of what it is.
So yeah, friends and familysending it to everybody like
(11:33):
that.
That's that's cool.
I don't really like expect y'allto watch the movie unless it's
like a good one.
And like, because if I come toyou like, but you really gotta
watch, then then it's a realgood one.
SPEAKER_03 (11:43):
Right, and I'll watch it out of support.
SPEAKER_01 (11:45):
Yeah, I yeah, yeah.
But I I don't I I'm always liketrying to do the next thing, but
um I would say more of areaction, reaction to the actual
uh uh uh the whole process, youknow.
I don't like I I don't like thethought of like being an artist
and the label is like holdingyour music.
(12:05):
Yeah.
I mean you want to drop thisshit.
SPEAKER_03 (12:08):
Right.
I and so I agree with you inthat aspect, like if you're the
artist, you created the music,and they're just kind of the
financiers, and they pretty muchlike are controlling the
project, then yes, that is yeah,like this is my name on it.
This is I'm the artist whocreated this thing.
But you know, there's with themovie, there's all of y'all, you
(12:31):
know, you're directing, editingit, but you know, you also have
somebody who who's paying forthe things, who's also
producing, you know what I mean?
There's so many hands, it's ateam effort, so that's a that's
a lot of people's decisionmaking, not just your own.
SPEAKER_01 (12:44):
You know what I mean?
Yeah, yeah.
It it just feels like gambling alittle bit.
Like, we do all this to go intoa competition that nobody sees.
And it's like, it's for us, weknow what it is.
You know, when you win bestdirector or actor, this that,
but it's like that's just a postthat I can post on Instagram.
(13:05):
Like, hey, I did this film andda-da-da.
Again, I think I think it'ssolely based personally on I
just like creating things andletting it go.
SPEAKER_03 (13:18):
So, and I just don't understand what why are you not
dropping knock now?
Like, what do you mean?
Like in the city.
It's on Tubi.
Okay, so why not YouTube?
Oh, I don't know.
Like, I'm just saying, like,that's another streaming base.
SPEAKER_01 (13:36):
You know, you you have oh, he is no no, he he is
now making because this wassomething I was trying to
convince him of like years back.
SPEAKER_03 (13:44):
Um, but he is making a channel for um all his all his
uh the team the the movies, yes,yeah, exactly like an archive on
YouTube.
Uh no public.
SPEAKER_01 (13:56):
But yeah, yeah, my bad, my bad, my bad.
It it's a term like on Instagramwhen you archive a post like
that shit gone.
Oh, okay.
So I I was thinking I waspicking that up.
SPEAKER_03 (14:05):
But just like all his movies he's putting out.
That makes a hundred percentsense to me is to do that.
It's like, okay, now you havethis thing that's not earning
you any income, you might aswell drop it into different
platforms.
Yeah, yeah.
Now it's done what it wassupposed to.
Now you did all the festivalsthat's older, just release it,
you know.
Yeah, yeah.
(14:25):
Um so one of the things that youbrought up and that had reminded
me and just reminded me of, youknow, that my past relationship
or whatever, um, even thoughit's like I say past like it
wasn't last week, you know whatI mean?
But yeah, so um it was I I justhad this constant thought of
(14:46):
like a team and how being a partof a team when you're younger.
Um it just reminded me at thispoint.
It's like I wish every, youknow, like it the person I would
want to be with, I wouldultimately like a preference,
not like a ultimate, like, hey,this she's she's a teammate, you
(15:07):
know what I mean?
Check checkpoint.
So um is that they have playedon a team before.
Like doesn't have to be like,you know, uh you was in your
high school volleyball team, butif she was to ultimately like
play, you know, a local sportwith kickball, you know what I
mean?
Something that's team orientedto where it's you, another other
(15:31):
people, another person sharing agoal.
The reason why I start thinkingabout that lately is because a
lot of the things was like a youthing.
It's like, hey, if we're tryingto meet this ultimate goal, you
know, this gotta be an us thing.
We gotta raise each other.
Like when you're in football,you got offensive linemen who
(15:52):
protect the quarterback so theycan make the pass or receiver so
he can score.
Um, so that's a whole team to uhget a touchdown, to try to score
points, to try to win the game,try to get a championship.
So we're all here together, andit's not not just about me and
you, it's about us, about theteam.
And I think that's veryimportant quality that somebody
(16:14):
should uh that people shouldhave in general because it can
turn to you ain't doing this forme, you and you know, and vice
versa.
So that being said, do you kindof agree with that analogy?
Do you oh yeah, yeah.
Um or a point?
SPEAKER_01 (16:29):
Um again, that um well, I had a two-part answer.
Um I no longer believe I coulddo all this by myself, and all
this goes into whatever comesinto my head, whatever thought,
whatever movie, whatever I don'tknow, just even me releasing and
stuff.
(16:50):
Anything that has something todo with a dream of mine, whether
it's like make movies with myfriends or being Ray So Silly,
like I can't do it all bymyself, like to the moon.
You can do so far, but like it'sI don't think it's possible.
(17:13):
I don't think there was ever astory of someone doing that, you
know.
Um so no, I agree with you 100%on that.
I was just saying, like, I wouldprefer, you know, I prefer like
let's just drop this out.
SPEAKER_03 (17:26):
No, and I'm and now I'm going on to talk about
relationship.
Oh, okay.
Well Yeah, yeah.
Like my point is, hey, you havea um a sports background because
you know what team and theultimate goal looks like.
You have been there, whetherit's you know, um in the murals
(17:48):
to where it's like I'm in mylocal wall just playing
basketball, but it's hey, I maybe playing basketball, I may not
be able to drivel and get to thehoop, but I can set screens, I
can play defense, I can box out,I can rebound.
You know, it's all about doingthe little things so we can meet
this goal.
And I felt like when I was in inthe relationship, there was a
(18:09):
lot of things as like, yeah, youdon't know how to box out.
You know, you know, like youdon't you ain't really trying to
rebound for the team.
Yeah, yeah.
You you're really just focusedon scoring.
Yeah, it's all about yourself-acoles, in a sense, I'm
using it as a not not literally.
Um, so I was like, it's thelittle things, it's not you
(18:32):
always talking about this is noI and team.
It's like, all right, you'rejust doing the thing that's
going to make you look good, oryou're doing the thing that's
for you, yeah, but not for us.
And I was like, dang, I wish shewould have played more sports
because she could see it.
She could see that bigger goal,that bigger picture.
Because I I see where the littlethings so where it's a lot of
(18:55):
selfishness that you're thatyou're probably not even
thinking about.
Your brain doesn't even go therebecause you never had was in a
team environment.
SPEAKER_01 (19:03):
I I can get that.
I can I can get that.
I don't think I I get whatyou're saying.
It's hard because I've been withlike, you know, a few different
women, and like there are somethat did play on a team before
who was amazing.
And I did, I did feel like theywas a teammate.
(19:26):
There are other people who didplay on a team before, and it
just wasn't like I I don't know.
It just felt like it was theopposite.
But I still felt like that.
SPEAKER_03 (19:39):
Of of I mean, yeah, this ain't no this ain't gonna
be no cure-all.
Yeah, yeah, this is not acure-all, but I I saw a lot of
of you can be of course thatthere's ball hogs that exist.
They're on a team, but they're aball hog.
Yes, it's all about them,they're not setting the screens,
yes, they're not throwing theball passing the ball.
SPEAKER_01 (19:59):
That was yeah, I I wasn't trying to go there with
it, but yeah, yeah, that'sexactly what I meant.
SPEAKER_03 (20:03):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Um for sure.
But you're but there's also anextra added skill by playing in
that team.
Like when I was getting hired,one of the things that people
like is to see that you was in auh you're a team player.
Like I'm in a region, you know,our re our region cut up the
(20:24):
Midwest.
You know, I'm not there's a goalthat we have we would like to
hit.
We we're the biggest used wehave been, not this past month,
but have been the biggest usedmarket in the past since I've
really been there.
Yeah, yeah, and that's been agoal of ours to be the biggest
on used in the in the region ofselling vehicles.
So when everybody gets to thatgoal, we can meet it and we can
(20:46):
be there.
It's yeah, so if I'm justworried about getting a check,
yeah, yeah, and I'm not tryingto buy a little bit deeper to
get to the goal, then it's justabout me.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, yeah.
I'm just getting a check.
I don't care if we get this usedthing.
But so so managers, HR, they alllike team players, and so I'm
(21:09):
taking that in my relationship.
That don't mean just because youthat's not mean because you're
on a football team, you're gonnabe a good hire, or you're gonna
be uh, you know, just becauseyou play volleyball, that don't
mean you're gonna be right forme.
But it's an extra added skill.
Yeah, that I was like, okay, youyou at least understand the you
know what a team looks like,you're right, or if if not
(21:30):
necessarily a team, like um likemy my bigger brother, he had to
do all these unselfish things tomake sure we're taken care of
because we came from a singleparent household.
So he had to look after us andmaking sure we're safe and make
sure we get home.
You know what I mean?
Though that's not you're not ona team, essentially.
(21:51):
I mean you play the sport, butif you had some that's like,
hey, I know what it takes totake care of somebody because
that's my duty.
Yeah, yeah.
So that's it's uh that same typeof team skill.
You know, I I have a I have agoal.
I'm supposed to make sure thatgoal is to keep them safe, so I
gotta do this thing.
Yeah.
So, and I just recognize how bigof a skill that is to have when
(22:16):
I was in a relationship.
It's like, dang, you know, thisis I feel like I'm yeah, yeah, I
gotta uh rebound, box out,shoot, score, and then you know,
they hey, they just happy toraise a trophy like they did it
themselves, you know what Imean?
Like, so and and and that itconstantly be getting
frustrating, you know what Imean?
Yeah, to where it's like uhwait, yeah, because then now
(22:39):
it's like bruh, I don't evencare if we look like we ain't
going nowhere.
We ain't gonna win the ship, sowhy why why play my ass off?
You know, you know what I mean?
SPEAKER_01 (22:48):
That has happened to me before, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (22:51):
And it got to that point, it's like, bruh, we ain't
going nowhere.
Ain't no point me me me uhscoring, you know what I mean?
Out of breath.
Yeah, yeah.
I'm like, I'm dying, you knowwhat I mean?
Giving them my all.
Yeah, yeah.
And I've seen like, bruh, youhaven't even made it up to court
yet.
SPEAKER_01 (23:07):
Yeah, I I get what you're saying about that.
Yeah.
I've been in, yeah.
I've definitely been insomething like that.
And it is um there's in many,and many, many um uh what's the
word I'm looking for?
Uh version, situations in lifethat now I'm I'm even thinking
about you even saying that inlike many different areas of my
(23:30):
life where I feel like I couldjust be um just a better team
player, like just looking at umuh uh what what that means.
I had saw a podcast one time, Iforgot her name.
She was uh CIA agent.
I seen it at your crib when Iwas uh living.
SPEAKER_03 (23:46):
You're talking about the one with uh British dude?
SPEAKER_01 (23:49):
Yes, Stephen.
Yes, but um and she was justsaying how you know people like
wanting to be number one and allthat.
That kind of changed my thoughton a lot of that stuff.
Like, I do feel like I don'tknow.
(24:10):
There are days where I'm like,man, I'm the goat, I'm goaded.
Um that I do feel like that.
I I don't I don't I don't go onInstagram and see people like me
on Instagram.
It's very one-of-one-ish.
So but I know that like eventhough if I were to say that,
like I'm the goat, I'm this, I'mthat, she said we're all here,
(24:33):
and you you you you reallystrive when instead of you
looking at I'm not one, it'slike you realize that we are all
here basically for like acts ofservice.
So and that kind of goes intolike what you're saying too,
(24:53):
like in relationships, it's ait's a it's it's like you said,
it's like a team.
So just because you want toshoot and ball hog and this,
like you you you can do that,but at the end of the game, is
the team really strong for real?
So, you know, and that's kind ofhow I think about a lot of
different S uh a lot ofdifferent places in my life, um,
(25:13):
even down to the content, it'sjust like I I'll say that, like
no, I'm the goat.
I'm cuz I'm just like let's justsay you just hit the game
winning shot or something.
And you're gonna say, man, I'mthe goat or whatever, but it's
not really about that.
It's about like being a part ofsomebody somebody told me
(25:35):
something one time of when whenuh they were meditating that I
put in my meditations now, ofbeing one with the earth.
It's just like we're all a partof this flow of energy, and it's
it's it's better to be, I feellike, to live knowing you are a
part of of the makeup of thisgeneration versus like you I
(26:03):
don't know, you you you you thenumber one nigga all the time or
something like that.
It's cool to strive to that, butlike everybody's you you never
stay number one, nobody everdoes.
So, but Denzel, he probablylooks at himself like that.
Well, I don't know, I don't wantto say it because he be saying
some super real shit.
But like, you know, somebody,somebody in that caliber can
feel like that.
(26:23):
They're like, you know, I'm thenumber one, da-da-da-da-da.
But I don't know, I feel likeyou make better movies when you
you know you're like a part ofthe energy of like the work of
acting or something.
You know what I'm saying?
Like the best movies I seenain't the the the Marvel movie
that came out on Friday.
You know what I'm saying?
(26:44):
So I I just think that uh uhwith with with a lot of things,
it's just like being one withlike everything.
It's is it's kind of likehumbling.
You don't get too far up and youdon't get too far down because
you know you got like you'reyou're you're you're providing
acts of service versus like I'mthat nigga.
I feel like in the middle, it'sjust like you understand what's
(27:07):
going on.
SPEAKER_03 (27:07):
If that makes sense.
So is it more speaking on beinghumble?
SPEAKER_01 (27:12):
It's in yeah, in a way, but you can still pop your
shit too, but just know that youcould be wiped from the earth
tomorrow, like and then what?
It's like but when you feel likeyou're a part of something or
even down to a relationship,when you feel like you're a part
of like this cycle of love,there's always ups and downs and
(27:35):
ups and rights and all this typeof stuff.
But when you're a part ofsomething with your partner and
you're like locked in, like Isaid, like the teammate thing,
you're kind of you're one withthe whole thing versus like I I
I don't know, like versus uh thefor instance, even going a
little deeper of uh uh um I doboth sides, you know, like uh
(27:58):
women who want a husband versuslike wanting to be a wife, and
like men who want a wife versuswanting to be a husband.
You get what I'm saying?
Uh I said that ties in a deeperlevel with relationships as
well.
When I was saying I mentionedone time the difference between
a woman who wants to be a wifeversus a woman who wants a
(28:20):
husband.
It's like that's not the samegirl.
And that's not the same dude ifit's a guy who just wants a wife
versus like wants to be ahusband.
Because that's a two-part thing.
That's not right, you know.
I'm I'm just taking your, I'mjust getting all of you, you
know what I'm saying?
If I'm not walking around like ahusband and shit, I'm just like,
(28:42):
you know, damn near sound likefuck boy a little bit.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (28:48):
When speaking of humble, we was on uh it was
Bible study.
It was so you know, Moses wroteExodus.
Uh-huh.
And then so he wrote, but also,and uh it says, and it was
written that Moses was the mosthumble than anyone else on the
face of the earth.
But you also wrote it.
SPEAKER_00 (29:08):
You know what I mean?
SPEAKER_03 (29:10):
He wrote that in there, yeah, yeah, yeah.
So so I'm just I was justtalking about humble, like we
were talking about popping yourstuff.
Yeah, he did.
SPEAKER_04 (29:20):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (29:22):
Yeah, so it's like it was just like being humble
but also popping it, and it justreminded me of it.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
Uh huh.
SPEAKER_01 (29:29):
I write my own book.
He was a great guy.
SPEAKER_03 (29:34):
The most humble on the face of the moment.
Humble on the face.
Yeah.
I just find that hilarious.
That is too funny.
SPEAKER_01 (29:41):
Um, I hope.
That's that's a part that'sliterally you you literally
basically described what I wassaying in another word.
Like Moses did kind of pop hisshit a little bit, but it is a
part of the book.
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah, it was ordained by God.
SPEAKER_03 (29:52):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah, so it I just find thathilarious.
Okay.
So When we went to Dugo's,right?
Yeah, yeah.
I had a great time.
First of all, I wish you wouldhave tried the chicken because
it was so good.
The food was really great.
I must have just ate orsomething.
Um, you had Popeyes at that criband you was eating on on that a
little bit, but it wasn't enoughto really think you wasn't going
(30:13):
to, you know, try some.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (30:16):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That morning or something.
SPEAKER_03 (30:19):
So so I don't know if you remember, but you was
like, uh you mentioned that youfound all black women
attractive, at least the ones.
Do you remember saying that?
Uh like most.
Yeah, exactly.
Like, it's like as long as theyain't ugly, but I was like,
okay.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So can you break that down alittle bit more?
SPEAKER_01 (30:37):
Like I said, I just I I think this is just for me
growing up in um in Memphis.
My mom's black.
Yeah.
Like she got what six, seven,eight brothers and sisters.
I didn't know she had that many.
I got I got cousins, you know,um uh went to public school.
I'm just trying to like give youthe the gist of what I've seen
(31:00):
for what maybe like 20 years ofmy life before college, and
people start looking a littledifferent.
But um I don't know, man.
I just I I don't know.
Like you gotta not, you gottanot be cute.
Like, you know, for me to justbe like, oh, you know, I I do
realize I I give them, I don'teven want to say there's gotta
(31:25):
be a better way of saying that.
I I just have a very I thinkit's relatability.
I think like that relatabilityfactor and me being able to like
have a conversation and I Idon't know, it's just like I'm
from a certain place.
(31:46):
So like to talk to people that'skind of from that place too, it
just can add to the attraction.
So even if you a six, like youknow, you're about 7.2 now, you
know what I'm saying?
Oh okay, I got you, I got you.
Yeah, but like if you're I don'teven want to say, but you if
(32:07):
you're if you're something elseand you know that's that that
that's it's gonna be a strongsix, you know what I'm saying?
Okay, so if you're if you'relike the same attractive on on
both levels, like myrelatability to this, I don't
even want to say specific race,because like a lot of people can
(32:29):
come from that um upbringing,but that relatability, man, that
shit is is so So that's an extraadded boost, yeah, to you.
Okay, definitely, definitelysuper added boost.
And like nine times out of ten,it's it if they black, it's
already there.
You know, so that's why I saidthat.
I'm like, you gotta be like if Idon't want to talk to you, I
(32:52):
don't want to have aconversation with you at all,
like you know, you gotta I don'tknow.
I I think it's it's gotta be onthe deep end.
SPEAKER_03 (33:00):
Okay, okay.
Yeah, no, I was you know thatbecause of course that came from
you know me sparking aconversation with the lady next
to me.
You know, it's like yeah, she isvery pretty, but yeah, yeah.
Uh but if it but I felt like wewas looking at her with two
different set of eyes, and it'sit, yeah.
And so that's what kind ofreminded me, it was like, okay,
yeah, I think she's pretty too,you know, yeah.
(33:21):
Yeah, but you're like, she fine,you know, like I'd be calling
everybody, yeah.
I know that's why I'm like,okay, maybe I'm I become but I
just be seeing it in them, yeah,you know, yeah.
No, I think she yeah, but Ididn't really get it because I
was, you know, more so focusedon the conversation that I
didn't really get the like thelook you up and down type of
checkout.
You know what I mean?
I would nah I I don't thinkthat's what she was on.
SPEAKER_01 (33:42):
I think I just say fine quickly.
Okay.
I do I do do that sometimes.
I'm like, oh damn, she fine, allright.
Like, yeah, versus like the thelook up down thing out.
I've I haven't that that thatdoesn't usually correlate.
Okay, you know what I'm saying?
I I could just see like damn,she, you know, it's in her own
right of who she is, she fine.
(34:03):
I I mean maybe fine is likeexaggerated from some people
that I say that about, but yeah,um, yeah, you know, people can
just be that in their own right.
Yeah, right, right.
Yeah.
So I think, yeah, I think likeone of my exes got mad at me one
time because like I don't thinkI have a type for real.
Like I don't think it's aspecific thing.
(34:27):
You know, I also feel likepeople who do have a super type,
I feel like that's kind of weirda little bit.
Okay, not at first, but when youon your fifth nigga that looked
all look alike, is that notweird?
SPEAKER_03 (34:41):
I I never really thought about it.
SPEAKER_01 (34:43):
Yeah.
Well, I was a part of a type, soI was like nigga number three or
four.
Oh, okay.
And then somebody else after me,I'm like, bro, all us look
alike, man.
Right.
Like, you know, I'd rather bethe different one in this bunch.
SPEAKER_02 (34:56):
Okay.
SPEAKER_01 (34:57):
I got you.
Okay.
Yeah, we all look like weauditioning for the same role
here.
I got you.
SPEAKER_03 (35:01):
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, no, I mean, I it is,it's kind of people have their
preferences for whatever reason.
They like what they like.
I think they also see what theywant the baby to look like too.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So that is my mom said that.
unknown (35:20):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (35:20):
It kind of hurt my feelings a little bit, but I
love who I am.
SPEAKER_03 (35:23):
Okay, I got you.
SPEAKER_01 (35:24):
Like, what'd she say?
It's just, you know, my dad'swhite.
Yeah.
So like that.
That's one of light-skinnedkids.
Clearly.
Okay.
She wanted something like that.
She said that though.
She said, she said somethingalong the lines of it.
I I don't I don't rememberexactly verbatim what she said,
but clearly when she wasyounger, that had to be a
thought in her head, like, Iwant some cute babies, and da da
(35:44):
da da.
And then, you know, I guess mydad showed up.
She's like, you know, that couldmake some cute babies.
So I got you.
It is what it is.
SPEAKER_03 (35:55):
Yeah.
No, I mean, and I and I can seethat sometimes because I I feel
like that kind of raises a barwith uh what a girl sees in me,
is that she pictures her childhaving green eyes.
Oh yeah, it ain't gonna go likethat, sweetheart.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
The it's you know, my butt Ihave uh three uh two other
siblings, and you know, I'm theone with them.
(36:16):
So wow.
Yeah, yeah.
So it ain't a guarantee.
Yeah.
Um That is funny.
Do you do you think uh just asmy homie, do you think I have a
type?
Uh nah.
I don't I think well, I thinkyou like you have a preference
of black women.
You have a black womanpreference, I think.
(36:37):
And I think it it stems fromrelatability, but I think it's
yeah, I don't think that you'reuh I can't see you marrying a
white woman at all.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
So so I mean there is I don't Idon't want to say a type more so
than elimination.
Uh uh.
Yeah, like you like you takingcertain preferences that you
(36:58):
wouldn't go for.
Yeah, but you know, I couldthere's other cultures that
you're willing to date andpursue.
Yeah, yeah.
I think they just have to havemelanin in them, you know.
SPEAKER_01 (37:08):
I'm gonna well yeah, like not yeah, some melanin.
So is that melanin?
SPEAKER_03 (37:14):
I mean, like some, yeah, but I mean there's all
different types of shades of uhall races.
SPEAKER_01 (37:20):
It was relatability though.
That's why I said that.
Like sometimes it could likestep out of that that space.
Um, but like it definitely wasrelatable.
How she kind of I mean, ofcourse the Puerto Rican thing
was a little different.
SPEAKER_03 (37:34):
But I don't think you really even care for it if a
white woman came from went toCraigmart.
You know what I mean?
Like, like, would you still beinterested?
I'm curious.
SPEAKER_01 (37:45):
You know, you never know.
Yeah, I I got you.
Okay.
I got you.
Yeah, yeah, but uh yeah, I Iwouldn't know.
I haven't I haven't um yeahyeah, I haven't dabbed into
that.
SPEAKER_03 (37:57):
Yeah, because as most crap as I get about dating
um white women.
Yeah, that was a whole phase.
Um I I I don't think that was aphase.
I think that I like who I likebecause you know I can name
specifically, like for everywhite woman I dated, there's
another black woman I I wasequally as interested in.
Yeah, and I I can name names,but it's a podcast.
(38:18):
Yeah.
So so there's like girls that II did like, or who even that
before I dated my firstgirlfriend who was white, there
was like uh uh somebody who isuh of darker, darker melon who I
also liked a lot.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So it it just literally did notmatter to me.
(38:39):
Like I'm literally yeah, so Ican date an Asian woman, I can
date Indian, you know, like ifit was just me, now I'm also
gonna take culture factors.
Like if you're Hindu, it's allit's probably not gonna work.
If you're Muslim, it's probablynot gonna work.
But if if it's you just take ustwo and just take remove all the
factors we lived in the cave,uh, you know, I could definitely
(39:02):
fly with that.
Yeah, and I wouldn't have aproblem.
So I know I don't have a type,it just looks that way.
Because I also I think that umcertain women really go for uh
certain men too.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So yeah, so some are gonna bemore proactive to pursue their
man versus other people, and soyou know, and I'm I'm the
(39:26):
person, you know, I'm more goingto have a convenience sometime.
Yeah, yeah.
If you're after me, I was like,I'm gonna probably and I and I
think this is probably witheverybody, right?
Like, and I think women moreespecially.
Like, hey, if a if a man's afterthem, they're more likely gonna
give them time than somebodywho's not really giving giving
that attention.
unknown (39:46):
Oh no.
SPEAKER_03 (39:46):
You don't think so?
Like, I'm just saying, like, ofcourse, it has to work that way
because that that man is notgiving them attention at all.
So you're like, man, let me seewhat you're talking about.
SPEAKER_01 (39:54):
It depends on what type of woman it is, right?
SPEAKER_03 (39:56):
Um, but they're not gonna go after the man that's
not giving them attention.
They're not, they're not womenaren't gonna, for the most part,
not gonna be chasing after aman.
SPEAKER_01 (40:05):
I I can kind of see that.
Yeah, for the most part.
I do I do understand what you'resaying too, about um when a
woman like just wants you,you're just kind of like more
open to like what is this, youknow, or more curious about like
what this would be like.
Is that true?
Just if she's like clearly likehands down, like like I want
(40:26):
you, like for real.
And there's only a certain typeof women that would do that,
yeah.
Right, yeah.
I think that's that's that's howI ended up with the Puerto
Weekend girl.
Yeah, yeah, I got you, yeah.
Yeah, I was like, I've never hadthis before.
SPEAKER_03 (40:39):
Yeah, yeah.
And there was a lot of thingsshe was coming correct with as
well, too.
To where it's like, oh okay, Ican, you know, I can be in this
for a minute.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (40:48):
Yeah.
But I definitely was open tothat because you know, it it was
just um, it's just it's a totaldifferent feeling.
Um, and that's why I almost uhwhat I was trying to say was I
just think it's a differencewhen a woman wants the man
versus like the man wants thewoman.
I don't think that usually umthat that usually works out.
(41:12):
Like I don't I don't want mywife to say I ain't like him at
first.
I don't like that.
I got you.
Yeah.
Like I don't think I don't thinkit's gonna work out.
SPEAKER_03 (41:20):
Right, yeah.
Because I'm not I'm not theactive pursuer.
Yeah.
I d I don't I don't live in thatworld.
So so and I think that'sprobably uh you know that I
don't know how to look at it,but I think it's you know uh a
benefit on our side that we dolook we do look decent.
(41:41):
So yeah, yeah.
So women are naturally justgonna cut their eyes at us.
And if they do, they look theother way.
There's many more women that'sgonna find us attractive.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, so so I guess that's whereit comes from too.
Um, but the there's alsosomething I want to mention uh
when we was talking about umlike attractiveness and um
(42:05):
energy and things like that.
So back to the ghost, you know,meeting that lady for the first
time.
Like you mean you?
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So, you know, I'm sparking tothe person next to me.
I can kind of see that she'slooking at me.
Um, but you know, me comingfreshly off a relationship, you
know, I'm not I'm really justkind of wanting enjoy my time.
(42:27):
I'm definitely not trying to hopin anything new, yeah.
But she, you know, we're havinga conversation, and so now I
don't feel any way about youknow, like trying to impress
anybody.
Yeah, so I'm just you knowhaving that conversation, we're
just talking, you know, and thenthe con conversation keeps on
(42:47):
getting a little bit deeper, youknow, and then now I'm just like
kind of oversharing and andthings like that, and then the
the connection kind of gets alittle bit closer.
I was like, okay, actually, youknow, and now we're I'm talking
about church, you know, likewhat church do you go to?
I was like, I'm church ofChrist.
Um, and then you know, and sheshe she has a you know the
stigma of church of Christ.
(43:08):
You you may not know the stigmaof church of Christ, but one of
our things is that we don't playmusic or it we don't play
instruments, and you know whichare we doing?
We sing, we it's like morearchaped style.
For real?
Yeah, mm-hmm.
Okay, yeah, yeah.
So you have those types of yeah,yeah, yeah.
Uh so we have several differentstigmas, but that's one of them.
Um, and so she was just kind ofasking questions, like, you
(43:30):
know, would you be like, couldyou see yourself leaving the
church of Christ?
And like, honestly, that's nothappening.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So you can get that.
So it was the the thing, what Iultimately getting at is the the
questions are actually datingquestions that we're getting to.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, like you know, how manykids you want type of question?
And then, you know, now foodcomes out, we're sharing food.
(43:52):
Now it feels like a first date.
SPEAKER_01 (43:54):
And I'm like, I did not see that part.
SPEAKER_03 (43:56):
What sharing the sharing the food?
Yeah, yeah, and it it was it wascool because I like when people
are more relaxing.
Not not like necessarily like ifshe was farting in front of me,
like like that, you too, you youtoo relax.
But the fact, you know, like youknow, you're like I'm I'm like,
hey, you know, I'm a sharer, iswhat I said.
And then so she starts eating,and then she's kind of eating
more, you know.
Like I find that little stufflike that cool.
(44:18):
Like, oh, you're comfortable,and I'm I'm cool with it.
Um, that means that you you'recomfortable with me being here,
it's not like a weird thing.
You're right, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Like he like now, it's like, allright, he I've somewhat
validated his mind that he's nota creep in a sense.
Uh-huh.
Oh, yeah, for sure.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So um to that point, is um it'sit's funny because after that
(44:43):
first initial meeting, it's kindof like the chemistry's kind of
suede it.
Now it's back to like, you know,like disappearing a little bit.
Yeah.
And it's weird how that I don'tknow if it if it's weird to you
how that happens.
It to where like now it's likeit's that initial spark and it's
heavy, it feels good, you know,and then it just kind of
(45:05):
dissipates like the followingday, then a couple days later,
it's like I you know, I don't,you know, I don't really care
like I was when I first had thatinitial meeting.
Um I have dealt with that a lot.
SPEAKER_01 (45:19):
Whole lot.
Yeah, yeah.
Not just, you know, I don'tknow.
SPEAKER_03 (45:23):
And like it do you feel that your well, I guess my
question is, do you feel thatyourself?
Like that chemistry lessening?
Yeah, I do it.
Okay, yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (45:32):
Yeah, not not to just um I don't know.
It's like it's a certain type ofperson that I need to be talking
to.
Like, like I said, even the thethe going back to what I was
saying about relatability, it'slike it needs to be, my
(45:53):
personality needs to be ourpersonalities need to be like
meshed in a way where it canlast past like a couple
conversations.
And I feel like there is only acertain type of people for each
(46:14):
personality to like stay around.
Yeah, that happened to me.
Um I got used to it.
I got used to, I'm used to itright now.
I know exactly what it is assoon as as soon as I don't get a
message, I'm really being Iwell, I don't know.
I I'm really I do that shit.
(46:36):
Like I I I'll wake up the nextday and I'm like, man, I don't
know, like that was an amazingconversation and this, this, and
that, and I don't know what itis, but something kind of just
like fades off a little bit, andthen I might just go and lock in
again with my own life.
And there's only a certain typeof people that stay around in
(46:58):
that.
And I think effort is a thing.
Effort is a thing.
So I can see when somebody'slike, oh, you like you actually
want to talk to me or like nothe the the when the answers go
like um how are you today versuswhat's the best part of your
(47:24):
day?
Like certain type ofconversations keeps you locked
in, and I don't think that a lotof um I don't know, I don't I
don't like chase the women, soI'll be there for the first
conversation, you know, and I'llI'll I'll I'll thought-provoking
(47:46):
conversation.
I'm I'm a I'm a really goodconversationalist.
Like I just realized that aboutmyself, but I don't know, if I
ask you a deep question and youdon't say, and you know, like
this, it's like it is it juststarts to I feel like I'm doing
too much, right?
(48:06):
But I know I'm not because I'mclearly like holding this
conversation.
You probably didn't meet a guylike me before.
Okay.
So you're interested in thisconversation.
SPEAKER_03 (48:16):
You should want to know more, type of thing.
Like, why don't you want to knowmore because I'm not the
everyday guy?
SPEAKER_01 (48:22):
Is that kind of what you're not not from that stance,
but the stance of like goodconversation, yeah.
It's not about like me thinkingI'm like I'm him, it's just like
bro.
I just asked you what what wereyou thinking about when you were
three and your mom did this orwhatever, you know what I'm
saying?
And and that you just gave me adeep answer or whatever.
(48:46):
And I know you're not havingthese type of conversations all
the time, right?
So it's just like when it startsto kind of just be one sided, or
like energy is just not in thatsame realm, then I'll start
pulling back.
So I'm guilty of it, and thenI've I see people do that with
me as well.
(49:06):
So like maybe we're not we mightbe attracted to each other,
maybe we relate to certainthings, but after that, it's
like I don't know, I I I need totalk to somebody that I can like
always talk to.
Like even if I don't know, thereare just certain type of people
(49:31):
that are out there that I I'veseen myself not pull away from,
and it's weird, and then usuallythen I might end up dating that
girl.
But um it's it's it's not asrare as you think.
Like to me, it's kind of likeand I've been single for uh I
don't know, uh what, basically ayear now, and even before then,
(49:55):
I was only dating my ex for likefour months.
So I've been single for a longtime.
Yeah, in a way, yeah.
Some people be like, seventhyear.
SPEAKER_03 (50:06):
Yeah, right.
I mean, sure.
I was like that for a very longtime.
Yeah, yeah.
And um it's it's hard to kind ofget out that phase for a little
bit because you're used to doingthings your way, how you want to
do it.
Um you know, you could go outyou want to is checking in, you
know, making sure.
Like I think the biggest partabout dating me in the beginning
(50:28):
was like things, hey, don'tforget you gotta do this thing.
You know what I mean?
Like, yeah, it's it's andbecause I'm used to be going my
own way.
And so when I it's like, dang,you know, I can we can't have
like dang I can have a decentright now, but I can't, so I'm
mad at you.
I can't I can't do it, you knowwhat I mean?
(50:50):
Yeah, yeah.
And uh yeah, it wasn't that Iwasn't mad at her for that, but
uh so but it was one thing likedang, I want to talk to this
chick, but I'm in arelationship, and you ain't
doing your part.
This but this is w where thething of me being it was
somewhat selfish um and ignorantin a way, is that I was it's
(51:13):
like I felt like you ain't doingenough, and I I'm getting like
women are trying to talk to meand I and I'm frustrated that I
can't speak to them.
And then I feel like now I'mputting that on you, like do
more, like keep pique myinterest, but it's fine.
And I feel like that waschildish, yeah, yeah.
In the beginning, yeah, in thebeginning, but then as as I got
(51:36):
uh in this situation or likemore in my relationship, it's
like where that was like I'mputting unnecessary pressure
from her, you know what I mean?
That's like not fair, yeah,yeah, yeah.
Yeah, and it's like now like nowI'm I feel like it was somewhat
toxic that I was like it's atrait that I'm glad I I think it
was just me being single for along time.
(51:57):
Yeah, and I was like, if you'reyou know, and I felt like that
was that was the same, but to befair to myself at that time, I
also was aware that was the samething for on my side that I had
to make sure I was on my gamebecause you know somebody else
could, you know, pick up whatI'm doing, you know, or be more
(52:17):
interested in my girl.
So but yeah, but I uh that wassomething that was one of the
beginning stages of like I Ican't really do anything right,
you know what I mean?
Because you're asking for moreand more.
Granted, some of the things Iwas saying were were true, yeah,
but it was where it was comingfrom.
So it's like you know, where itwas unfair, if that's making
(52:39):
sense.
SPEAKER_01 (52:39):
I can you know I I can get I I feel like that's
that's like that's likerelationships wrapped in a um in
in in a bundle or or whatever,like is is in terms of um being
aware of where things are comingfrom, like small tips, small
(53:02):
like breedings of resentment andall that, that can be on both of
y'all's sides from like twodifferent things that y'all are
doing or experiencing.
SPEAKER_03 (53:12):
So yeah, and and I can make it more clear and more
uh image or make it visualize ita little bit better.
It's like if I'm telling you,hey, you need to clean the house
more.
This, for example, I never saidthis, but yeah, you need to
clean the house more becauseKeisha down the street says
she'll clean my house more.
(53:32):
Yeah, and now I'm like Keisha isnot in this relationship, so why
are you even in you know,entertaining that?
Yeah, yeah.
So, and that's when it was likeI had to kind of self-check
myself.
It's like I'm if that shouldhave been a complaint of mine
without Keisha being there.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, yeah.
If I had an issue, it shouldhave been between us.
(53:54):
It's not because Keisha now itexists and saying she would do
this thing for me.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Just keeping it like in theyeah, like don't let outside
forces be the reason why youwant to um why the the excuse of
what's what's wrong with yourrelationship in essence.
SPEAKER_01 (54:14):
I think that's a um uh uh a time to tap into like
just uh vulnerability um forboth parties in a relationship
when things come up.
Because that's that's I'mthinking about relationships
that I've had and and there arecertain things that could have
(54:36):
been a total differentconversation if it was like um
why why'd you take a picture ofthis girl when she asked you to
take a photo of her?
But in reality, you could havesaid, Hey, I was treated a
certain way in my pastrelationships, and like this is
(54:57):
bringing up some trauma for me.
And like, can you if you wouldhave said that to me, we could
have got over that together.
SPEAKER_03 (55:02):
Yeah, I I totally agree.
You see what I'm saying?
Yeah, I I totally agree, butpeople uh it goes back to that
man who I cut off of the roadthat screamed, yeah, yeah.
It's like people are gonna allarchate articulate themselves
like that in that manner, yeah.
Sometimes they just kind ofscream.
(55:23):
Like, like yeah, like that wouldthat's how I love to kind of
like thank you for making meunderstand instead of just
lashing out because now I'mreacting how you how what you're
doing at this moment, and nowthat's a thing too.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So now we're yeah, now we're nowwe're battling instead of
getting somewhere.
(55:43):
Yeah, yeah.
Because now, yeah, yeah.
I may have pinched you, now youpunched me.
Now it's a battle.
Yeah, yeah.
And it's like, okay, that makessense.
SPEAKER_01 (55:51):
Yeah, that was that was um one of the biggest things
that I realized, like inrelation.
Now again, like it depends onwho you with.
So you know, that's that couldbe tough to even like try to
teach somebody.
And you they nobody likes to betaught anything, bruh.
So like um that that can getdifficult, but it it it
(56:14):
literally depends on who you'rewith, what stage of life you're
in.
SPEAKER_03 (56:18):
And and and that's how uh that's one of the biggest
things in uh my pastrelationship was that that kind
of very thing.
That was a like thing that Icouldn't cut through.
Is I'm telling you how I like tobe coached, and then you're
saying, hey, don't tell me howto don't don't don't tell me how
(56:39):
to talk, pretty much.
Yeah, I'm like, all right, likeI was like, I'm telling you.
I'm just like I'm telling youwhat what gets to me.
Yeah, you just being mad andlashing out and ain't really
productive.
But I'm saying, hey, if you sayit this way, I can understand it
more.
But but having this like it wasone thing, it's like saying I'm
(57:04):
sorry is like out of yourvocabulary.
You're like, you know what Imean?
Like that's I think it wasliterally one of the things,
just like apologizing, likesaying I'm sorry is like that's
not something you do, like likeis that foreign?
SPEAKER_01 (57:17):
You know, yeah, I've yeah, I've been with people that
do that.
That I just again, like I said,I feel like it depends on a
multitude of things, and it'sthe the the place you are in
your life, what y'all have gonethrough, and who y'all are like
as a person type thing.
(57:38):
And yeah, just being kind ofkind of just like how good of a
a friend like can you be?
You know what I'm saying?
Because it's when you're in arelationship, we lose the sense
of like we're friends.
Like I and that was that wassomething that um I was thinking
(58:00):
about the other day.
I was like, damn, you know, likeI I I wanted to, but I was at a
different place to where I'm Iprobably lost it after a certain
point of not being vulnerable.
I probably like gave up after acertain point and like not
really telling this person, Iactually want to talk to for
real.
Like you're my best friend, likeI need you, like in this what
(58:25):
the the the the the the like wewere saying about like love and
like teamwork and all that typeof stuff, just even like emotion
and or mental-wise, you know, itwould be nice to know I'm
talking to like my friend.
But then when we lose that, andthen now it's like you know, I'm
the man, you the woman, and weboth trying to like tell our
(58:48):
stuff, and then if somebody thethe what's it called, small
microaggressions when not whenthat starts to happen, then like
you kind of lose the message,and really y'all just bro, y'all
want to like understand eachother as friends, as people, you
know.
So I feel like a lot of peoplelose that as well as make not
(59:09):
have that developed.
Um the upbringing and all thatstuff and how they dealt with
issues or trauma and theirfamily and hard conversations
with those type of people orfriends too, it all affects
everything.
So I don't know.
I I hope my next relationship,you know, that's I mean, I'm
(59:31):
pretty I I I trust myself atthis point.
I kind of know what to like lookfor in terms of at least
initial.
Everybody initially uh iswearing their representative,
but uh or it's being theirrepresentative, but yeah, that's
that's that's huge for me.
Like if I can I I I think I saidthis before, before I got into
(59:51):
my last relationship, like beingpretty ain't enough, bro.
Like it's like that can be I'mI'm never looking at our good
moments.
And a lot of people do.
I get that.
But I feel like I if I if I messwith somebody or whatever, like
I I can I can tell when you whenI can have fun with somebody and
(01:00:13):
have great moments withsomebody.
I don't be looking at that.
I be looking at, bruh, like youyou didn't address this thing
that I I kind of asked of youand all that because that can
alter the whole week.
That can make me not want to goout with you this weekend.
Right.
Absolutely.
So yeah, that thatvulnerability.
(01:00:34):
That's that's like very, veryum, I'm not even gonna say rare,
but a lot of people should workon that for sure.
SPEAKER_03 (01:00:43):
Okay.
So it reminds something that yousaid um reminds me of the
question I have.
I do want to save it because Ifeel like it's it's a it can be
a long conversation, or it maynot, but I'll I'll say I'll um
I'll ask it and um you canchoose on if you want to save it
(01:01:04):
or or keep it for next week.
Well uh yeah, one uh yeah, so Iso let's let's just try the
let's let's just say it and thenwe'll have it for next week.
Well, what is it?
Oh okay, oh yeah, right.
Um do you think say you'reinitially attracted to a woman,
right?
Then you're talking to her for aa couple weeks, and you find out
(01:01:26):
she's not the person for you.
Could you architect articulatethat person uh to that person
that you're not interestedanymore?
Um do you want to say that fornext week?
SPEAKER_01 (01:01:39):
Or I mean usually when things aren't like I said,
when you when when things aren'tlike messing, it usually just
fades off.
SPEAKER_03 (01:01:49):
Yeah, but what if she's super interested in to
into you?
Uh into me.
Because I mean y'all talked tolike when I talk about like the
girl, like we you know, we'retalking about very
relationship-oriented thing.
What if that would have gottenfurther?
What if we would have had sex?
What if, yeah, not all thesethings get intertwined, but you
realize because you said youknow who you want.
(01:02:10):
Yeah, well, you may not knowthat in the first two weeks, but
you're going all the way therewith it.
Now y'all, your energy is onfire, then she has some of these
traits that you don't reallylove.
Now it's deeper, it's hard, it'sdeeper just trying to penetrate
that the traits that she has.
Like, I don't know if this issomething I'm willing to live
(01:02:33):
with.
So you gotta be the person toturn her down.
She's going all the way withyou, you know, she's willing to
take it further.
SPEAKER_01 (01:02:42):
Uh I I've dealt with somebody once where I had to
tell her like um that we werejust friends.
And how how did they so tell methat story?
You know, it it it just it itkind of things like kind of
spark quickly and I just feltlike I I knew.
(01:03:04):
I was like, I don't this how didshe take it?
I think I said it.
I didn't say it like I just saidit.
I said it in way more P way.
But I don't I don't remember.
It was just well throughout it,I could kind of I could I could
I kind of picked up on certainthings and you know before it
(01:03:26):
got like to different points ofthat friendship, I always made
sure I threw in there, like Iain't looking for no
relationship right now.
Okay, I ain't you know, but notnot like straight up cutting her
off, yeah, but just like youknow, just casual talking, like,
yeah, but I I mean you know I'mlocked in, I ain't looking for a
(01:03:47):
relationship right now.
But um, and that that that wouldbe it.
My my shit just stopped.
But uh yeah, not now.
Okay, yeah, so we we gotta endthis.
SPEAKER_03 (01:04:00):
Hey, we left our cliffhanger, we're gonna keep
that going, right?
Uh huh.
And then uh, but this is too forthe culture, we'll be back.
We'll be back.
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