Sherrone Moore, Temptation, and Validation

Two friends dissect a headline-grabbing coaching scandal to examine power, proximity, and the stories men tell themselves about sex, status, and discipline. We push past the tabloid layer into accountability, boundaries at work, and the deeper need for validation.

• policy breaches and power imbalance at work
• playing the victim versus taking responsibility
• stalking, escalation, and safety signals
• temptation, novelty, and the cost of ego
• guilt forecasting and worst-case thinking
• work proximity attraction and strict boundaries
• loyalty, cheating, and self-image
• childhood scripts shaping adult validation
• asking why before acting as a discipline

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Episode Transcript

SPEAKER_06 (00:00):
And we are back with another episode of Two for the
Culture.
I'm Justin Devante.
Steven Ray.
And we are back.
I believe we got a great showlined up for you tonight.
Some may say the best show I'veever had.
Okay.
Okay.
Yeah, yeah.
So hey, like and subscribe.
Like and subscribe.

SPEAKER_01 (00:17):
Like and subscribe.

SPEAKER_06 (00:18):
Now, uh, before we really get into it, everything's
good with you this week?
Yeah, everything's good.
Okay.
Yeah, yeah.
So let's kind of jump right intoit because, you know, we may be
a little um short on time.
Uh-huh.
But um, so are you familiar withthe Sharon Moore incident?
Uh no.
Okay.
I I'll break it down for you andwho that is, and because you're

(00:40):
not a big football guy.
Right.
Um, so it's big in the uh newsright now.
And the reason why I feel likeit's an important conversation
is like everything that we'vetalked about up until this point
is kind of like no, no, no, likeit's it's all um kind of gather
around a situation that he's in.

(01:00):
Like whether it's talking aboutyou know dating and
relationship, being honest uhabout the about dating when
you're talking to anotherperson, just being
communication, all that stuffkind of aligns.
And also one thing that wehaven't that uh that's critical
in this situation is being insomewhat of a toxic situation.

(01:21):
I think we probably brushed overit, but not in the way that
we're probably gonna talk abouttoday.
All right, so Sharon Moore, he'sum the former head coach of the
University of Michigan footballteam.
So he um took over for John orJohn or Jim Harbaugh, whoever
coaches the uh the LA Chargers,but he took over for him.

(01:45):
Um had didn't have a greatrecord last year, but this year
record uh this year he had likea 93 record, so a very strong
record for um his second year.
Did I think he was on the trackto do really well?
Um he had a good season thisyear.

SPEAKER_05 (02:00):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 (02:01):
Um, but nonetheless, he I'm gonna kind of read a
quick headline of what happened.
So he was uh fired on December10th of uh 2025.
Um after investigation from theuniversity that found out that
he had a relationship with a umwith a staff member here who was
so he's in his late 30s, if notearly 40s, and um he was having

(02:26):
an intimate relationship with uha staff member that was maybe in
her early 30s, if not 30.
Um so got let go of the footballteam.
Um the program is he married orsomething?
He so he's married with threekids.
Okay, but that's not but he'slet go because that is
inappropriate relationship andthat's a um a conduct policy.

(02:47):
Really?
Yep.
So here hours after firing, uh,police responded to a 9-11 call
um at an Ann Arbor resident,which is uh residence, which is
a city um that is in Michigan.
Um so University of Michigan'sis in Ann Arbor.
So just kind of breaking thatdown for you.

(03:09):
And then so a woman reportedthat a man um broke into her
home and was threatening to killto kill himself in front of her.
And and so pretty much so prettymuch what was happening, or I
say self-transition, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 (03:25):
Unalive, whatever.

SPEAKER_06 (03:26):
Yeah, exactly.
But nonetheless, so he came intohis mistress's home, broke into
it, and just hey, I just gotfired, my blood is on it.
Your your hands, you did this tome, you ruined my life, you
know.
So he picked up a butter knifeand you know, put it to his
neck.

SPEAKER_02 (03:43):
A butter knife?

SPEAKER_06 (03:44):
Yeah, a butter knife, yeah, yeah.
And some uh kitchen scissors.
No, I mean he didn't try to killhimself, but you know, he was
just like, You ruined my life,you know, talking to his
mistress or the person, thestaff member that was on the
team.

SPEAKER_02 (03:57):
Um, so any thoughts before I uh how why how was the
phone call?
I'm trying to figure out how itgot to the point of calling the
police on somebody threateningto kill themselves with a butter
knife.

SPEAKER_06 (04:12):
Well, I mean, he broke into her home.
That's one thing.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, yeah.
That that so how how he gotthere, kicked the door.
We don't know that part whetherhe had keys, whether he paid the
rent, you know, we don't knowthat part of it.
Oh, right.
But it this is the police reportthat was filed, broke into her
home, and then he's kind ofarguing with her saying, Hey,

(04:32):
you were in my life, yousnitched on our situation that
led me to get fired, and now Ihad to confront this to my wife.
How'd she snitch?
Uh I think from the uh report isthat you know, he was calling
her, she didn't answer, and at acertain point it was maybe she
was getting uncomfortable withthe situation, so it led her to

(04:55):
talk to the university abouttheir relationship with her,
yeah.
Um, in between that time, shewas making 45,000, he doubled
her salary, she was making 90.
Yeah, so it was a lot of youknow what are you thinking?
Why did she do that?
Why did she tell?
Yeah.
Um why are you snitching anyway?
Because so he so he's alsocharged with stalking.

SPEAKER_02 (05:17):
Okay, yeah, so he just became weird, and then it's
like, what am I supposed to do?

SPEAKER_06 (05:22):
That's what I'm led to believe given his charges.

SPEAKER_02 (05:26):
I mean, he broke into her home.
Yeah, yeah.
So she was scared of something.

SPEAKER_06 (05:29):
So she was dodging phone calls.
If he's charged with stalking,then he drove by, maybe knocked
on the door, made phone calls,tried to get her to pick up.

SPEAKER_02 (05:39):
And probably using everything against her.
Like I doubled your shit, like Idoubled your salary.
I maybe.
Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_06 (05:45):
Yeah, yeah.
I don't know that part of it.
But to be charged with stalking,that's not because you broke
into some home invasion.
Nobody's gonna charge you tostalking that's over time.
So there's got to be multiplesituations.
So she's probably um ghostinghim.
Yeah, and then he's wanting toget in touch, so she's very
uncomfortable.
Of course, she's gonna chooseher life over a job as any

(06:05):
person would, right?
And so she's like, hey, I'm atthis point, I need to file a
pre-support, I need to let theuniversity know what's going on
because I'm trying to protectmyself, right?
And now at the you know, giventhis culture, she probably wound
up suing, you know what I mean?
Because it's uh you know, apower dynamic situation.
So I could see that coming.
So she has to go through all theends to make sure she's doing

(06:28):
the right thing.
So she's probably gonna sue aswell.
So why didn't she get fired?
I'm sure she probably did.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
But it's not gonna report it.
That's not the juicy headline.
Yeah, yeah.
Who cares if she got fired?
Yeah, most likely she did, youknow, or if she just fired uh
she quit.
You know what I mean?
So yeah, that's probably yeah,hey, I I'm probably gonna sue

(06:50):
the university and I'm probablygonna sue Sharon Moore.
That that is what I wouldexpect, not that I know that for
sure.
Yeah.
Um, I think where it comes towhere um it's an interesting
conversation over this, isbecause it comes it aligns with
hey, proper communication andeven with your wife.

(07:14):
Like, hey, being honest aboutwho you are.
How are you gonna do that?
I think one, I think that's hegot he got one of them good
ones.
So I think that is you one, yougotta know who you are.
Two, so that's one part.
We talked about workrelationship, have we not?

SPEAKER_05 (07:34):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 (07:35):
And there's a way that you can miss, hey, I I
mean, those are not easydifferent easy situations to uh
discuss about who you areopenly.
But like, hey, this is what thisis.
I think he could avoid a lot ofthings.
Well, one, he is this is conconduct detrimental to the

(07:55):
university or whatever, so heprobably got fired.
So that wasn't it's uh youshouldn't have one participated
in it or been in thisrelationship anyway.
Um but yeah, so we talked aboutthat.
We also talked about um yeah, webrushed over a little bit about
just being in a toxicrelationship, but I think where

(08:17):
I really want to dive in alittle bit more is like how much
you know you're talking aboutself-harm, how that now makes
you the victim.
So now the situation at hand, wegotta focus focus on you.
Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_02 (08:35):
Like made it about him.

SPEAKER_06 (08:37):
Exactly.
So for example, yeah.
So so have so have you everplayed victim in something that
you did wrong?
I'm gonna do it, I swear.
No, no, not that not that deep.

SPEAKER_02 (08:49):
But played victim?
What do you what do you mean bythat?
Uh well, so because he's clearlylike, yeah, no, he's he's like
grade A acting.

SPEAKER_06 (09:00):
This is I mean, maybe he believes that.
Maybe he believes that he'sgonna do it.
Grabbing a butter knife is alittle, you know what I mean?
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 (09:10):
He's like, I'm not gonna go that far.

SPEAKER_06 (09:13):
Right, right, right.

SPEAKER_02 (09:14):
Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_06 (09:14):
Cause I mean, uh what if a man was there?
What if she was dating somebodyin between the time that had to
be that'd be awkward?
That'd be a bad thing.

SPEAKER_02 (09:23):
Yeah, right.
Um unless he just like some weaknigga.
Yeah, yeah.
Some big strong guy.
I assume he's big and strong forsome reason.

SPEAKER_06 (09:33):
Um, because he's a football coach.
Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 (09:35):
I understand that you're just like boom, it's just
knocking down a wall to someshit to get in.
Yeah, but um with a name likeSharron, you know what I mean?
Sharon, yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_06 (09:46):
He don't sound like a small guy, yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 (09:48):
Yeah, yeah.
It doesn't.
Yeah.
If you said Jack Wilson, thenI'm like, nah.

SPEAKER_06 (09:53):
But uh Jack Wilson sounds slightly dangerous too.

SPEAKER_02 (09:57):
It's it's giving serial killer vibes for sure.
But uh no, that's crazy.
That's that's definitely crazy.
And he did go the super victimroute.
I don't know.
You're saying something thatI've done that that's clearly my
fault, but I'm like, no, I gottaflip this shit somehow.
Right.

SPEAKER_06 (10:15):
Um because we see that sometimes with our
counterparts in a relationshipis that if we talk about like
you made me do this, you wasn'taround, I was lonely.
Yes, oh my god.

SPEAKER_02 (10:28):
I've of course I have seen more of that.
Well, I I have to like truly beaccountable.
I mean, uh of course, in mymind, the one of the main things
that that's coming to my mind ishearing those words from the
opposite party.
So that's gonna stick out alittle bit more for me.
But if I were to try to dive in,dive deep, and say maybe, maybe,

(10:55):
maybe I have.
But like time had to pass by forme to realize like nigga, you
put yourself in this situation.
So I can say, yeah, there thereare many times where or there
there were there were timeswhere I was with um anybody, any
any anybody I've been with or ordealt with, and for instance, if

(11:21):
he had knocked the door down andand um did all that, she clearly
saw signs of that before thatshit even happened.
So like he been like that.
But he just didn't like thestraw, what is it, the the straw
that brought the camera back?
Yeah, he just ain't got to thatpoint yet, but he didn't show he
had to have shown signs of thatbecause first of all, why would

(11:43):
she even ruin her own career?
Or like why would she even stepforward with that?
It sounded like she was scared.
Yeah, for sure.
It definitely sounds like shewas scared, but um excuse me,
there there have been timeswhere I'll be like, or I was
like, uh this person that I'mwith or was with or whatever

(12:04):
like damn, they they're this,they're that, they're and I
would just kind of like blamethem for being them.
But I think that's a way ofbeing a victim in your own
situation because you could havebeen left, like you could have
been um saw the signs for whatthey were, and otherwise I'm

(12:29):
just saying like no that we'rein this because you're like
this.
I done seen that girl was likethat a long ass time ago.
So I think there there is asense somewhere in in people's
lives where we do, not that far,but there is a sense somewhere,
at least like especially in theheat of the moment uh of certain

(12:50):
situations.
I think I I have played victimbefore because I I wouldn't have
got to the point where I am nowwhere I look back and I be like,
yeah, yeah, they was like that,but like I definitely could have
been leftist.
Like I yeah, yeah, they didthis, it went this far, but I
also like gave them some roomand leniency way before they

(13:11):
even got to this part.
So it's like, yeah.
So I feel like yes, I haveplayed the victim in some
moments, but um clearly not tothat extent.
But as time passed by, I had tolike when you sit with yourself,
or if you want to sit withyourself, yeah, I did realize
like I had a I had a play in uha lot of how that stuff went.

(13:32):
No, no matter if they wastripping or not.
Like I was tripping, lettingthem trip.
You know?

SPEAKER_06 (13:37):
So I is it do you want to elaborate more or do you
just want to keep it there?
Uh uh what do you mean?
More about the story of what youwere referring to, or is that a
story for another day?

SPEAKER_02 (13:47):
No, I mean, um I'm just saying, like, in terms of
uh um, I mean, I think Ibasically said like how uh I was
with a girl um and she used touh she would it started out like
she would like block me.
But like she was so good on allthese other levels, like that

(14:08):
there were different there weredifferent situations that I was
in there that you can pull fromthat like one certain
relationship or certainrelationships that I've been in,
I didn't know that I was givingthem leniency and all that.
I didn't know that I was likethat my boundaries weren't
intact or whatever.

SPEAKER_06 (14:27):
Your boundary wasn't intact, yeah.
So you didn't know that that wasa boundary for you at that time?

SPEAKER_02 (14:32):
I didn't know like certain I didn't know oh I'm
supposed to be laying downboundaries right now in certain
relationships, but like in otherones, I knew exactly, I knew
exactly like I could lay aboundary down, but they're so
good at all these other things,you got it today.
So like it'll start like that.
So you didn't enforce yourboundary, I didn't enforce it,

(14:53):
but I knew what I was doing thenthough.
Okay, because I'm like, no, man,you know, I could enforce, but
like, man, they got all theseother points that I love.
She blocked me last night.
It's all right, she'll be a wifetomorrow, you know.
And what happens with that?
Boom.
All right, so the next time,instead of like for a certain
amount of hours, now like it'son DD as soon as we have an

(15:16):
argument or something, and thennow it's like blocked for two
days.
All right, then you know thatgoes by, and you know it was
just very slow, but like I letcertain things happen, and then
I could say, man, she'savoidant, she's those are all
true, but like I'm letting ithappen.

(15:37):
So like I'm literally allowingthis to get bigger and bigger
and bigger and bigger andbigger.
Like the girl, I know she doneseen signs of how crazy this
nigga is, and she probablystayed, and let that shit get
bigger, bigger, bigger, bigger.
I don't know the situation, andyou know that she did seem
scared.
So I will I will get that.
But um, yeah, like that therewere times where like I I could

(16:01):
play the victim in thatsituation and say, like, man,
she's avoidant, she probably gotuh abandonment issues, and da da
da da.
I could say all that, and itcould be possibly true.
But that's me playing the victimtoo, though.
Because like I see, I see what'shappening in front of me.
So um yeah, that that's justwhat I mean.

SPEAKER_01 (16:20):
It's like it ain't that crazy, right?

SPEAKER_02 (16:23):
But I think people do play victim a lot when it
comes in the heat of the momentof things or arguments or
whatever.
I I've seen myself I would haveto look back on certain
situations and realize like, ohshit, you really just blaming
them, but you done seen thatshit the whole time, so whose
fault is it really?

SPEAKER_06 (16:43):
Right, okay.
I uh that's a good point.
And um, I think that there's alllike is it always a hundred
percent somebody's fault when itcomes to relationships?
So if you take it to the theside chick, she instead of
ghosting her ghosting him,assuming that we're going down
this narrative because we don'tknow, of course, we don't know

(17:03):
exactly what happened, but shecould have given the honest
communication like, hey, you'remarried, I don't there's not a
future here.
You have three kids, you have aone-year-old or however young,
and I still want to be married.
This relationship gotta end atsome point because you're not

(17:24):
get you're not going to be ableto leave your family.
Because he could have very Imean, I think from my
understanding of how I'm readingthis, they've had a relationship
for years.
For you to double her salary,that means that she's been there
and to for a salary to bedoubled.
You can't just double a salaryon on in you know a couple
months in.

(17:45):
You know, so I think she they'vebeen there for years, yeah.
And he could have, and he's beenwith the program under Jim Hart
or Jim or John, I don't know,Harbaugh.
Um, and so he's was like a tightends coach, offensive line
coach, offer offensivecoordinator.
Um, so they could have had astemming relationship for a

(18:06):
while now, um, to where now hehad the opportunity to maybe
double her salary because nowhe's the head coach.
And um whether he was probablypromising, hey, I'm gonna leave
my wife, I'm gonna do this foryou.
Because for you to do all thisfor her, you it sounds like you
love her too.
Um I doubt it.

SPEAKER_02 (18:24):
You don't think he loved her?
I no, no, no, no.
Maybe, maybe so.
Yeah, but uh, I mean that yeah,unless he's just like a natural
crash out or something likethat.
But uh it sounds to me the waythat story unfolded, it sounds
to me like she did come to himand say that.

(18:45):
But it sounds like there had tobe a number of steps that she
tried before it got to her goingto the job.
That's a major thing.
So like I'm pretty sure she toldhim what you're saying.
And I'm pretty sure for somereason I doubt he gave the
narrative of I'ma leave my wife.

(19:06):
I don't think niggas be doingthat for real.
You okay, maybe.
I don't know.
I be seeing it in movies,usually old movies.
But I don't think I don't thinkafter niggas get married, they
just be telling women like I'maleave my wife.
I think that's like the oldvintage movie or something.
Okay, I mean I don't see I don'tsee niggas doing that.

SPEAKER_06 (19:25):
Okay, maybe, maybe not, I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 (19:28):
But um I definitely feel like she said uh eventually
it got to that point when hestarts stalking and all that,
like I'm pretty sure she saidsomething.

SPEAKER_06 (19:39):
To him.
You think that she properlycommunicated that hey, this is
not gonna work out, we shouldseparate?

SPEAKER_02 (19:44):
Absolutely.
Yeah, somewhere in there.
Maybe because yeah, I I don't Idon't see I don't see a person
going through all of that andand taking themselves to because
now, like, your your life ischanging now.
You're about to drasticallychange your own life.
So that's a big ass move tofind.
File something, and you know hisname is gonna circulate, and now

(20:04):
your name that what does that doto your career?
Like, I'm pretty sure she did,or it sounds like sh it sounds
like she did whatever she couldbefore she actually stepped up
and and expressed uh what'sgoing on.

SPEAKER_06 (20:20):
Possibly, possibly, I don't know.
Yeah, but not returning calls.
Maybe she had told them, hey,we're breaking this up, we're
done, um, for whatever reason.
Because, you know, but just howI'm reading it, it just seems
like uh, and she could havetaken those steps to communicate
probably that it was probablynot the breakoff was not
communicated properly in thewhere and ultimately, like I'm

(20:42):
not victim blaming, I'm justsaying, hey, accountability is
very seldomly a hundred percentbecause I mean, one she's slept
with a married man foolingknowing that he was married,
correct?
So so there could be some hey,some um guilt con, you know,
just like hey, guilt is kind ofeating her up.

(21:02):
It's like, hey, I'm kind of donewith this.
But over years, I imagine that,you know, at some point that
could be the case.
But um, I feel like it couldhave been a relationship that
she was interested in pursuingfurther.
Like, hey, I met this guy, he'sgreat to me.
This is who I want to be withnow.
And that's typically how I howit goes, right?

(21:22):
Like you're in a good situation,you just got your doubt uh
salary doubled, you know what Imean?
You you're uh getting paid well,you're getting dicked down, you
know what I mean?
Like, yeah, yeah, there's notmuch commitment there, but you
know, I uh this is just meoutside looking looking in.
Um but also with this um howjust to analyze the situation

(21:49):
and talk about Sharon more.
This and this is why I can guykind of get um I can be too
analytical, but it's when wetalk about a nut, like is a nut
worth all this when we go whenwe engage in you know some of
this behavior, because Iremember I talked about being an

(22:11):
Uber driver dropping off thatbandy student.
You're like, I analyze thesituation.
It's like what is the worst casescenario?
Facts, yeah, yeah.
The worst like it feels beingsimply accused can makes me feel
bad.
Like, hey, you did this.
Not even them, you know, there'sa police report and all this
extra stuff, just simply statingthat hey, I think you're this, I

(22:34):
think you're a creep.
That small accusation doesn'tsit well, right?
You know what I mean, let alonegoing through the whole process.
So when this Vanny student wasdrunk, I was like, Yeah, I ain't
stepping up in nobody's dormroom.

SPEAKER_02 (22:46):
My mind's like and you drunk as hell, too.

SPEAKER_06 (22:49):
Yeah, exactly.
So I'm like, you're drunk,you're cute, but was she white?
Yes, exactly.
I'm like red, black, yeah, yeah.
So I was like, Yeah, I can we'llexchange numbers, and this is
someone you're gonna do.
I was never gonna hear that, butit's kind of my left-handed
reject.
You're like, how and be niceabout it, yeah, and be like, no,

(23:12):
I'm not doing that.
Yeah, so I'm like, Yeah, we canexchange number, we can hang out
tomorrow, yada yada.
And so, but I'm in my full wellin my mind, I was like, What's
the worst case scenario?
Worst case scenario, you can goup there, yeah.
You you get a nut off, then theoh, I wasn't in my right mode.

SPEAKER_02 (23:29):
Oh my god.

SPEAKER_06 (23:30):
Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 (23:30):
And keep in mind I would be so fucking scared.
Exactly.

SPEAKER_06 (23:34):
I mean, because I mean she's at the bar, so I'm
assuming she's 21 or older.
I'm uh I'm 30 years old.
Yeah, he's older than me, likethat dynamics, the creepy, weird
Uber driver.
You like my mind goes to my youknow what?
Masturbation ain't that bad.
You know, because honestly, likelet's have let's talk about it.

(23:55):
What is the difference betweenjust uh uh masturbating and then
having sex?
A lot.
It's a lot it's a lot.
It's it you're saying it'll itfeels a lot better, that nut.
Not that good.
Okay, I'm saying, like, it'snever that good.
Yeah, never no, it'll never bethat good.
Yeah, so I'm like, you knowwhat?
I can masturbate the house deep.

SPEAKER_02 (24:17):
I'm pretty sure somebody looks like you on porn
or something.

SPEAKER_06 (24:22):
Yeah, yeah.
And that's kind of where I landin situations like that.
It's like, dude, what is the endresult?
And Sharon Moore should havelanded there too.
It's like, hey, what is theworst case scenario happening?
Is this coochie worse uh worthlosing my job over?
Yeah, of course not.
Is it worth losing my familyover?
Of course not.
Is it worth being all in thenews?

(24:43):
Because I I look at myself likewhat if a news was, yeah.
Uh Fox 17.
Oh my god.
Yeah, yeah.
Or points that an Uber driver.
Yeah, yeah.
Like done.
Yeah, exactly.
And so I've all that's like,that's not worth the accusation,
that's not worth my, you know,my family, how how I'm looked

(25:05):
at, my reputation, everythingthat you work for.

SPEAKER_02 (25:08):
There's never really thing, and neither do I ever
really think about the family inthe situation.
I never think about it.

SPEAKER_06 (25:15):
Oh, you don't think about how your mom feels?

SPEAKER_02 (25:18):
No, I'm saying like if I were to see somebody online
or you know, whatever goingthrough their own thing, I never
think about their family.
Uh, but you saying that, andthen like, damn, like everybody
who actually knows you andstuff, like they see this stuff
um online.
That's that's that's that thatwould be hectic to to deal with.

(25:39):
I couldn't imagine being accusedof anything, and you know, my my
mom or sister or my dad sees it,or you know, stuff like that, or
or anybody attached to Kaya,like her, that whole side of her
family.

(26:00):
Yeah, that that would be crazy.
I I never think about stuff likethat.

SPEAKER_06 (26:03):
I understood.
Because I look at like ShamanSharon's more story, like his
story may be invalid.
Hey, she came after me.
You know, I was seduced.
All that don't matter.
Exactly.
100%.
And for me, if I was accused oflike I never did anything, she's

(26:26):
the one who kissed on me, thatenticed me.
Who cares?
Who cares?
Who cares about your story?
Exactly.

SPEAKER_02 (26:33):
I I advocate, do not deal with well, I I don't know
what this situation is, butdealing with toxic women is not
healthy for a man, justespecially especially if they're
like physically like toxic orlike too much masculine energy,

(26:57):
like like the rah-rah, that typeof shit.
I feel like the man is alwaysgonna lose in that situation.
Because either he leaves or ifhe stays, that dynamic.
If I was around a kid who alwaysjust just like did that.
Bucked at you?
Yeah, just like butt like uh achild, not not not a child

(27:20):
child, but let's say this niggalike 10.
And every time I'm around, hejust like do that type of shit.
Eventually, I'm gonna get mad atthat shit.
And this is a kid we talk about,right?
Yeah, so if you're around awoman who's like always like the
toxic, who loses?
You the man is gonna lose.
I feel like the man's gonna losethe most if he stays in there.

(27:41):
Because as soon as he's on whatshe's on, it's over.
Right.
It's done.

SPEAKER_06 (27:45):
Yeah.
And I think that also plays intolike when we talk about uh
football, football players, andthis kind of extends to the
coaches as well.
They're very passionate people,yeah, they're gonna be
emotional, they love the game,so they they can carry that in
their daily lives as well.
So passionate, emotional guy,you know, brings that into his

(28:09):
relationship, brings that into aside chick.
Yeah, so so now you're actingvery much on character of who
you are because that's you youlove breed football.
And that's kind of what I'm kindof stemming from him, and so
that's also being a part of whoyou're messing with as well.

(28:31):
You gotta very much know theperson you're dealing with too.
So it's it's always like um,it's very seldomly 100% one
person.
You gotta be, you know, I'm ofcourse you gotta be wise to it
too, but it this is a learningsituation for everybody, and
that's when we talked about whatwe can learn from this and why

(28:52):
we talk um everything we talkedabout kind of comes all together
with situations such as him.
Because I mean, he he won't bethe only one, he won't be the
last one.
Tiger Woods was very much in asimilar situation to this, to
where he's messing with uh notonly just one chick, but several
chicks.
You know, his wife finds out sheum reacts emotionally, now it's

(29:14):
all over the news.
Now you're getting divorced,you're losing hundreds of
millions of dollars.
Like it's every situation isgoing to be slightly different,
but there it's all over what?
Cusha.
It's all over, and I think itcan be beyond just and that's
why I wanted to talk about likehow much is having sex with

(29:35):
somebody and masturbation,what's the is it like head and
shoulders different?
Yes.

SPEAKER_02 (29:41):
Okay, okay, yes, it's a woman, it's uh hell no,
it's just different.

SPEAKER_06 (29:46):
Okay, so break it down for me because that's like
I said, when I'm going myanalytical mind, when I'm
getting when I'm nutting, it'snot that serious though.

SPEAKER_02 (29:55):
It would never be that serious.
Niggas many, many, many peoplelose their lives.
Okay.

SPEAKER_06 (30:01):
And I yeah, so what I'm saying is, is it because
it's the because I also correctme when I'm wrong, this is our
podcast, so we can kind of gohow we want.
So her letting you enter hergates, right?
That as an ego, that feels goodtoo a man.
Okay.

(30:21):
So I feel like that's one thing.
Then of course, her body,beautiful, you know, you kissing
foreplay, all those stuff, allthat stuff is great.
But the actual net itself, it'sfairly similar to the net you
would get in masturbation, is itnot?

SPEAKER_02 (30:42):
I mean, sh sure, if you're talking like just pure
nut for nut.
Anatomically?
Did I say that right?
I don't know, but let's go withit.
Yeah, uh, yeah, anatomy-wise,like, sure.
Like you the point A to point Z,both reach point Z.

(31:04):
Sure, I get that.
Right.
But it ain't, it ain't the same.
It's like, no, it's like it'sit's all that leads, it's human
nature, right?
Yeah, like um, yeah, like a awoman's touch, uh and I'm sure
on their side, same thing.
Right.
Just like a man's, yeah, likeit's it's totally different.

(31:24):
I don't think it would ever,ever, ever, ever be um worth um
that though.
Yeah, that that that thatdisrupt of peace and um yeah,
just like thinking about shitlike that.
I don't know.
Like I've been in certainsituations, and we we just

(31:46):
talked about a situation, likethe coochie ain't everything,
bro.
Like it's not like that shitthat shit.
I I've been in random situationswhere I'm not gonna do that.
Yeah, I'm not gonna do that.
I'll tell you about it after.

(32:07):
Okay, but uh that valid reasonwhy not.

SPEAKER_00 (32:10):
But um, but yeah, but there there's just certain
situations that you you reallygotta look out for.

SPEAKER_02 (32:15):
And I get it.
Like it's is everybody knows,you know, like it's nothing
better.
I mean, I'm sorry to say, butthere's nothing better than new
pussy.
It's not, it's just like itcould be what sucks is like
after it.
But like the chase and the thenew thing, it's it's the
achievement thing for men, likeyou said, like the ego boost,

(32:38):
it's like unlocking thisachievement of um she trusts me
enough to have my way with herbody or whatever.
Like that that's uh amazingfeeling, you know what I'm
saying?
To unlock, like not necessarilylike after a while, y'all, y'all
fucking for a while that I'mtalking about the first time.
It's like they are cracked.

(33:00):
You know what I'm saying?
It's like uh that that is a um athing for men for sure.
So I get that, but it ain'tworth um all that other stuff,
right?

SPEAKER_06 (33:11):
And so I want to say I totally, I totally 100% agree
with you, uh, man to man, allthose things, but I also feel
like that can be what's wrongwith us as well.
It's like why does that feelgood?
Is that how we're made?
Is it or is it like psychos thatis like a insecurity of us?

(33:35):
What do you mean?
To where like, why do we needthat satisfaction that she led
us, she trusts us enough?
Like, we should have, you knowwhat I mean?
Like, why does that um I'm Iknow it's not co the cosine is
not what the word I'm lookingfor, but why is that extra added
you know, trust make us feelgood?

(33:57):
Why don't why don't we justcarry that naturally?
So that's and that's essentiallywhat I'm saying.
Is that a man trait?
Or is that like an insecurity ofus to where we need that female
satisfaction to make us feelbetter?

SPEAKER_02 (34:12):
It could be, it could be depending on a man.
Okay, yeah, it could bedependent on a man.
There, they're uh there are menwho would um have relations with
uh people I've turned down justto make them feel good about
getting some.

(34:32):
So I think there's that thatthat has a play in a lot of a
lot of men's downfall as well.
Um the feeling of being likethat guy and all that.
I think that that does resonatewith a lot of uh a lot of men
for sure.
Especially I feel like a lot ofmen who don't have the

(34:56):
opportunity, um, whether theychoose to take it or not, to
actually get women.
Um aka niggas that don't gethosts, like uh, or whatever they
say on the streets.
But um, yeah, some some some mencan be like super insecure about

(35:16):
themselves and like trying to umtrying to trying to trying to
trying to prove something, youknow.

SPEAKER_06 (35:25):
Right.
And so because I think when thiswas months ago, when you talked
to you about why and asking yourquestions more why, I think that
is just like a constant theme ona podcast, because that is just
was just profound when you saidit is why am I doing this thing?

(35:47):
And so when we ask each otherquite like me questioning about
secure since uh insecurity ofours, is why do we feel this
way?
Because now I'm looking ateverything like, and I've always
had a hint of that, but when yousaid it, it just kind of like
unlocked another thought ofmine, like another gate.
And I'm like, Yeah, I should beasking myself why more.

(36:09):
Yeah.
Um, and yeah, because because Idon't want to just say, hey,
this is men, you know, just lovecoochie, men just that's our how
we're anatomics anatomants builtor anatomies built.
Um, you know, we just born thisway.
Like, okay, let's break it down.
Why?
Like, why does her she sayingI'm beautiful make me feel good?

(36:34):
Like, is that something that Ineed, or is it just a compliment
and then I move forward?
Like, I just want more questionson why.
And so we can kind of break itdown to where we're making sense
because this, I mean, like Isaid, I agree with you on those,
like, you know, she's let me in,yeah.
That makes me feel good.
But why does that make me feelgood?
Why can't I get that frommyself?

SPEAKER_02 (36:56):
So I think I've had I mean I've had that feeling.
I agree with you, but also it'slike let's say we're talking
about hooping, and it ain'tnothing like winning the game.
You know what I'm saying?

(37:17):
That that's that's like that'slike two people who one person
goes to the game and they see umI don't know if this is the
correct metaphor.
One person is just enjoyingthemselves, just just being out
in the world or whatever.
They see a basketball game.

(37:38):
Oh, that was lit.
Damn, I'm I'm I'm validatedtoday, I had fun.
Or I'm fulfilled today, I hadfun.
Versus the person playing thegame.
And then it's like they won thegame.
Like they they're stupidfulfilled, because like it's
their reality of being in themoment, all the emotions, the

(37:58):
lead up, the this, to that, theda da da, like the the the sense
of um energy and like lifeitself is different from the guy
on the court than the guy justcasually watching the game, or
or just having fun with hisSaturday or whatever.
Like, that's two differentversions of leaving the game.

(38:20):
So what I'm saying is it's likeyeah, you can masturbate to a
girl that looks just like her.
But it ain't it ain't nothinglike being in the game.
And you know, um so that's justnatural, but the feeling of why,
I do wonder, I do wonder um whatthat is.

(38:44):
I feel like I feel like we'rejust fucking shit up on earth.
I feel like it's way moresacred, or it's supposed to be
taken way more sacred, becausethe feeling is way too good.
So like I feel like maybe it'ssupposed to be way more of a
sacred thing, and we just likefuck the whole system up.

SPEAKER_06 (39:08):
Okay, so yeah, I I I agree.
Yeah, so let me get my theory onit.
Is um this is my own experienceof how um when I was younger
growing up, that's what made youa man is having sex.
With uh yeah, so um when I wasin high school, you know, there

(39:31):
would be like a it was uncool tobe a virgin.
At what at what grade for you?
Um, I mean, this is probablyninth grade, most likely.
Yeah, yeah.
I would I would say if not ineighth grade, you know what I
mean?
Uh huh.
Yeah, so going growing up, youknow, you're getting, you know,
you ain't getting none freshman,sophomore, junior, you know what

(39:53):
I mean?
So now it's like, hey, you know,we gotta figure something out.
Because when I talk to one of mybest Friends, he grew up in a
white neighborhood.
That wasn't a thing for him.

SPEAKER_02 (40:02):
Losing your virginity, like you said it.
Can you expand on it?
Like what the difference wasbetween the um like that was
never a conversation.

SPEAKER_06 (40:09):
You wasn't uncool because you was a virgin.
That wasn't a conversation thatthey had growing up in his uh
neighborhood.

SPEAKER_02 (40:15):
And what what was more for theirs?

SPEAKER_06 (40:17):
Um, whatever.
It just wasn't sex didn't makeyou who you were.
Yeah, yeah.
So that wasn't a conversation.

SPEAKER_02 (40:23):
Well, you had mentioned it before.

SPEAKER_06 (40:24):
You were saying like the difference between um well,
I was just saying for myself,like growing up, um, that that's
what like, hey, you you youain't a man for real if you
ain't getting none yet.
You ain't getting none yet.
Dang, you like you labor ashell, you know what I mean?
So I wonder if that's what alsolinks up in Tarasaki now is like

(40:46):
those whole those uh childhoodtraumas of you being uncool.
This is what makes you a man,this is why it feels good.
Um, and I think that's somewhereI'm landing somewhere with that.

SPEAKER_02 (40:59):
Yeah, uh, I do feel like when I was talking about
other men, um that I've noticedthat it seems like to be, quote,
the man is to just like have alot of girls and you having sex
with a lot of girls and all thattype of stuff.
Like, I I do um think it comesfrom that.

(41:23):
Yeah, I think it comes fromthat.
And of course, like older unclesand right, yeah, like stuff like
that.
Like, yeah, you ain't gettingno, you ain't getting that shit
wet, nigga.
You know, yeah, like stuff likethat for sure.
Um everybody got that uncle.
But yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, I think I think uh growingup that was always around for

(41:47):
sure.
Before we talk about bills, yourcredit, the politics, or or uh
being a part of your communityand like being a man, like what
it actually means.
Um taking care of your family,all that type of shit.
Yeah, I think in school anyway,because mine was about the same,
like ninth and tenth grade.

(42:09):
Yeah, like I remember when Iwent to 10th grade and I ain't
smashed yet.
I'm like, shit.
Shit, I got a girlfriend andeverything.
Like, what's what's up?
But um, no, I definitely feltthat pressure.
Yeah, for sure.
Because it's it's just aconversation and you gotta look
like you know what you'retalking about.

SPEAKER_06 (42:29):
Yeah, right, right.

SPEAKER_02 (42:30):
Because if not, they they can smell it on you.

SPEAKER_06 (42:32):
Yeah, it's not true.
They can smell it on you, heain't getting no yeah, but for a
fact, right, right, yeah,because it got a conversation we
was on the bus, and then me andmy best friend is like, hey,
y'all still virgins?
Yep, let's bet on who's gonnaget one first.
You know what I mean?
So you felt this extra addedpressure to do so.
Not eat not that I even wantedto, you know what I mean?

(42:54):
But now I feel like the peerpressure, and and I've always
been good on like try uh likepeer pressure and being
unwavering, but at some point itdoes get to you.
Um and that was one of myprobably one of my unproudest
moments of like, damn, I didn'tlet that get to me.
You know, I should have heldstrong on my principles.

SPEAKER_02 (43:15):
Uh because of all that, yeah.

SPEAKER_06 (43:17):
I yeah, I I feel like yeah, I what I didn't I'm I
know the experience I had at thetime, it's not because I wanted
to have it, it's because to beultimately lose out my virginity
so I could no longer be avirgin.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And that's not how yeah, uh thatwas kind that's kind of whack to
me.
Yeah, yeah, not that when it wasa virgin, not me.

(43:42):
Couldn't wait to do that, yeah,yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Right, right, right.
That that's hilarious.
But yeah, so uh I was like,bruh, that was whack.
You know what I mean?
Um but yeah, so that was anotherplace where I wanted to kind of
learn because this this uhsituation kind of touches a lot
of things, yeah.

(44:02):
Um but even being married, oh, Iwas gonna talk about the just
being honest.
Cause for for me, it's like one,he's already um against the
university policy by messingwith her.
Why not go to somebody elsewho's not a part of the

(44:25):
university?
She in his face.
It's human nature.
Okay.
Fair enough.

SPEAKER_02 (44:30):
Which sucks for me to say.
I hope I don't eat those wordsone day.
There's this fine ass woman inthe office, and like, and you
know, she right there.
You know, or we're attracted toeach other or something.
I just think it's uh youmentioned it the uh before, like
you around somebody 24-7.
They could have been a six thefirst time you seen them, but

(44:53):
shit, a year and a half later,like you really know that person
now.
Like they're they're like,they're actually kind of funny,
you know.
They're actually now you startseeing you're you're spending
your time mostly at work formost people.
Um depending on your job anddepending on how invested, but I
would assume something like acoach, that shit is like way

(45:14):
more than a nine to five.
Right.
Like in the end of the uh itseems to me the higher your
success grows within whatever umindustry you are in, the more
time that is committed to thatthing.
So yeah, so like a nigga likesomebody on a basketball team,

(45:36):
they ain't just showing up tothe game.
Like you gotta practice and yougotta practice before you
practice, you gotta do whatever.
I I don't know what they do, butI just know that the more you go
up, the more time has to beinvested into whatever is is
keeping the ball rolling.

SPEAKER_06 (45:52):
Right, and moving the needle.
That's the tough about justbeing in um a co-working
environment with the um the sexthat you're attracted to.
Yeah.
Is that you have no choice butto see the real them because
they're not really and and wellsomebody somebody can, you know,
there's a lot of times where I'mbringing the best part of myself

(46:17):
into a job.
So, you know, I'm like, hey, I'mnice to everybody, but I'm not
this nice ass guy all the time.
But you know, I try to have agood attitude at work and bring
good energy because you know,good energy is you know, feels
good, people receive it, andthen at that return, it makes
everybody else good, andeverybody works better.

(46:37):
So I I keep that in mind, butalso when you're there for
years, you very much know thatperson, you see how they are in
the relationship, you talk aboutthe relationship, you see that
you know their their pros andcons, and you realize that hey,
this actually I love who thisperson is more so than the
person I'm married to, more theperson I'm with at the moment.

(47:01):
And it'll always seem like that.
Yeah, right.
And you could be very muchwrong, but at the same time, you
could have seen, hey, she datedso-and-so for two years, and you
know, I don't think he's rightfor her.
I met him on several occasions,you they don't work together,
but I could put myself in thatsituation and now work best for

(47:22):
me because I love the traitsthat she brings.
So you you're seeing that a lot,definitely over years.
Yeah, and so um that's whatmakes like working next to
somebody so scary as well.
Because what if you realizeshoot, the person I'm with isn't
for me?

SPEAKER_02 (47:39):
Yeah, yeah.
So I had a flashback of the workhusband.
Yeah, maybe.
I mean, it happened, it can't II I've I kind of I don't know,
in long-term relationships, Ifeel like that's going to happen
one day.

(48:00):
Like if I if I'm if I'm in arelationship with a girl for
three, four, five, six months,cool, whatever.
But if I'm in a relationshipwith a girl, or if a girl's in a
relationship with me for tenyears, there's gonna be
somewhere down that line wherethis girl's tripping, and I
gotta go to work and see thiswoman who smiles every time she

(48:22):
sees me.
And like, I feel like that'sjust gonna come in anything long
term.
So, like the married people andall that, I feel like that
happens on both sides, just kindof like what you do with this
situation and how you how you uhyour your your discernment of it
really ain't got nothing to dowith discernment for it, it's

(48:43):
really just discipline.
Just like, bro, this this shitgonna happen.
You're always gonna findsomebody who looks better than
your partner.
This is it's is uh I I feel likethis is just an always thing,
especially with long-termrelationships.
You're always gonna findsomebody funnier than your
partner, you're always gonna seesomebody whatever, whatever.
Because after you know them,they're normal now.

(49:04):
Like when you first get to knowthem, like, damn, this person is
great.
But long-term relationship, thenyou see the flaws of this or
that, the da da da.
You see why they was happy onthat Monday versus um other
ones.
Well, all I'm saying is that I Ifeel like there are a certain
amount of challenges andpossible temptations throughout

(49:29):
every long-term relationshipthat you'll have.
So I don't, it's a it's adiscipline thing.
Yeah.
So like if he was just tryingto, or not even him, but just
like certain people maybe likethat, it could be an ego thing,
it could be a macho man, like Iwant to take over the world type

(49:51):
shit.
You know, it could be um theinsecurity of not being the man,
you know.
Um I I I don't really I reallydon't know what it is, but I do
know that shit gonna happen foreverybody in long-term
relationships, I feel like.
Yeah.
Like have you ever been in asituation where you was with a

(50:12):
girl and you was with her for along time, and then you saw
another girl, and then like shehad a liking to you, but she
kind of looked better or thatwas funnier, or like you saw the
you saw the differences betweenthem?

SPEAKER_06 (50:26):
Uh no, I haven't been in a situation like that.
Have I been in a relationship towhere it's like she's cute?
Yeah, yeah, and she seems like agood person, yeah.
But uh, I've never like, hey, Iwanna um I'm gonna put my
relationship to the side topursue her.
Well or like I would go out ofmy way not to do that.
Like I'll always be friendly toeverybody and be interested in

(50:49):
what they got going on and havea conversation, but yeah, I
wouldn't I wouldn't dictate myrelationship on or like put my
relationship on the line for umsomebody else.

SPEAKER_02 (51:01):
Yeah, so you're speaking on the behalf of a
disciplined person.

SPEAKER_06 (51:05):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 (51:05):
Right.
So that's that's what adisciplined person would say, is
what I'm saying.
Right.
So yeah, there are people likethat, and then there are people
that's like, man, she keepslooking at me though.
Like, you know what I'm saying?
It's it's it's it's different.
Because I'm like that as well.
Like when I'm with a woman, itdon't matter who really
literally does not matter who itis.

(51:26):
Celebrity, this, it don'tmatter.
So yeah, I I think that's justthe difference.
The difference between um, youknow, like just being
disciplined and locked in withyour person.
It's really, it's justcommitment.
Yeah.
Now I I haven't been married for20 years, right?
And all that, you know.

(51:47):
Um, but I do still, even if Idon't think this will ever
happen, but like, yeah, thatwould be completely my fault.
Like, if I was in a situationlike that and there's a girl at
work, or da-da-da, I'm gonnaeventually look at that
situation.
If I were to, I don't even wantto speak something like that
into existence, but for a man touh or anybody in in in in

(52:13):
long-term relationships,marriages, especially marriage,
like it's a commitment, which isway more challenging.
But um yeah, it's really justdiscipline for real.

SPEAKER_06 (52:24):
Yeah, I mean, so there have been times where I
did Uber and Um like, hey, youtrying to come in?
I'm like, I got a girlfriend,you know, like dang.
You know what I mean?
Like if I was single, I'ddefinitely uh walk in, you know,
park somewhere real quick.
Yeah, but uh, but outside ofthat, it's never been like like

(52:46):
I'm really entertaining somebodyfor real.
Um but yeah, so the butnonetheless, like dang, you
know, it sucks I'm in arelationship right now, but
outside of that, yeah, because II wouldn't want to put my my
relationship online.
Because like I said, I'manalytical, right?
So I'm like, if I was to stepin, I have to carry that guilt

(53:06):
with me.
Facts for a nut.
Facts I can masturbate.
Like, like for real, I'm nevergonna see this person again.
It it's great that like I whenwe talk about the um like she
letting you in, how that feelsgood.
Her even offering it, there's afeel-good element to it.

(53:26):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's like okay, you know, thankyou.
That's complimentary that youwant to have sex with me.
Right, right, right.
Yeah, but um, you know, I Ithere's so much I will lose.
Yeah, yeah, it's because I verymuch want to be in the
relationship that I'm in rightnow, you know, um, and how she
will take it.
And I know I can't carry a lieon me that well for v that long.

(53:49):
Yeah.
Yeah, she she also has mylocation.
So I can't be, yeah, yeah.
I can be at, you know, juststanding at at dress for a long
time.
She may be asleep by now, maybe,but even that, I don't even like
to just carry the guild aroundwith me.
Yeah, like I don't like to, Ilike to feel conscience-free.
I like to have a clearconscience.
Yeah, yeah.
So, yeah, so even all thosethings.

(54:11):
Yeah, I don't want to be knownas a cheater.

SPEAKER_01 (54:14):
Right.

SPEAKER_06 (54:14):
Yeah, yeah.
Or to even say I have.
So that feels good.
Like, hey, you know, it feelsgood not to have cheated before.

SPEAKER_02 (54:21):
Yeah, right.
Yeah, so I I do believe that aswell.
Yeah, that there's just adifference between um some
people.

SPEAKER_06 (54:27):
Yeah, because I think loyalty is everything, and
it's like, hey, I've always beenloyal.
Even when I had the opportunity,not it's not like I'm, you know,
just guy that's just nobodywants me.

SPEAKER_02 (54:36):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I will say that.
I will say that it does give abit of a side eye.
You know, I I I have not manyfriends, but it's a a a closed
um type circle.
And um, you know, like like overthe over the years of knowing um

(55:00):
and conversing with multiplemen, like when they say they
cheated or this or that, or ifit's like a habitual cheater,
it's like a slight side eye.
Yeah, because it feels likedamn, like, you know, it's
definitely hard.
Like sometimes, I guess youcould say.
Um in a way, uh I I I don'tknow.

(55:25):
I don't know.
I don't know.

SPEAKER_06 (55:26):
And I think some I've mentioned it before, is
some of your actions tell me whoyou are and tell me about you.
Like, yeah, you're a cheater,but also that tells me how you
feel about yourself inside.
Why do you need to cheat?
Why do you need a value?
Um why do you need uh notevaluation?

(55:47):
That's not there, there you go.
Thank you.
This is what makes it apartnership or great podcast.
Validation from another personconstantly.
Yeah, because it's like I'mthat's why I really wanted to
talk about that.
It like just how nut is it'slike, yeah, new pussy feels
great, but it doesn't feel thatmuch better than having a uh a

(56:07):
guilt a guilt-free conscience.
Yeah.
So what it what does that tellme about this that you're you're
insecure about yourself fromwherever it came from, from
where it's childhood where yourmama always told you you wasn't
shit and get out of her face,you know, whatever it was.

SPEAKER_00 (56:22):
It could be the relationship too, depending on
what relationship they are.
It could be, it could be a lotof zero validation at the house.

SPEAKER_06 (56:28):
Yeah, it could be it, it can be, but but also
you're cheating, get you're aconstant cheater.
It's it's deeper than that.
Yeah, it's it's deeper than athome at that point.
Yeah, yeah.
Um, because like I remembertalking to one of uh a close
friend of mine, and you know, itwas a fine chick that you know

(56:51):
he cheated on.
Um, this was the cheater wasn'ta friend, but she she was
telling me about the story ofthe guy that was her cousin, and
that you know, he was like a asurgeon or whatever, but you
know, was constantly cheating ina relationship, and I was like,
that sounds like a trauma thing.
You know, it's like, why are youconstantly entertaining all
these women, letting them meetyour mama?

(57:13):
I was like, that then you meetthat's very intimate.
It's like oh, and then it comesto find out, yeah, his mama
always told him he wasn't shit.
Yeah, so him needing validationfrom other women is what made
him feel good.
Yeah, but he didn't, he he mayhave not known that about him,

(57:33):
but me giving the story, I waslike, okay, you know, if he's
doing all these things forwomen, telling them what they
want to hear, needing the lovefrom them, ultimately just to
cheat on them.
That that sounds very muchdeeper than just wanting to have
sex.
Yeah, yeah.
Cause now you want them to makeyou feel good, yeah, yeah.

(57:54):
And now you're this accomplishedperson and you're constantly
doing that.
That means you're chasingsomething inside.

SPEAKER_00 (58:02):
I can see that.
I can see that.

SPEAKER_06 (58:04):
And so I was like, okay, there's something wrong
with his that happened in hischildhood for him to want to
constantly do that.
Because other than that, yougotta you got beautiful people
around you.
Like the the girl that I waslike, bruh, I was like, I was
trying to get down, you know,and then she's telling me the
story of her.
And I was like, she's a mentorof mine, you know, she used to
date my cousin.
I'm like, and then I'm like,okay, what happened there?
It's like, yeah, if he'sconstantly doing that, there's

(58:26):
something, there's somethingthere with his childhood,
because that's just not justwanting to get coochie, there's
something deeper.
And then she's like, Yeah, well,you know, hit my auntie was
doing this, you know, and she,you know, her personality traits
wasn't the best, yada yada.

SPEAKER_02 (58:41):
Um, no, that that uh yeah, I feel like a lot of the
things that we do, uh it wassomething meme that popped up,
and it said a lot of the thingsand the traumas and the um how
we are all derive from likestuff that we were doing when we
were younger or been throughwhen we were younger.

(59:02):
And I I I'll I I listened tothat and I try to unpack that,
and I'm like, I don't know.
Like, do you ever think thatsometimes it's like maybe you're
dealing with certain things orso everybody got their things
that they deal with umpersonally?
Oh damn, yeah.
Damn.
Um but I I I did think like,damn, what is coming from my

(59:25):
childhood?

SPEAKER_06 (59:26):
Yeah, and I think that's always stems on that why
questions like, hey, why do Ineed this validation?
Why does this make me feel good?
Why did I react this way?
What's wrong?
What how am I feeling?
Why didn't I have come with abetter attitude?
So I think that's just gonna bea constant theme, and that's
what we should uh the audienceshould ask themselves when they
go into any situation, like,okay, why do I behave in this

(59:49):
manner?
Yeah, is there something wrong?
Why is this particular thingtriggering for me?
But I think this is all we havefor you today.
We love y'all.
We'll be back to for theculture.
Thank you.