So You Went On A “Sexual Wellness Retreat

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Episode Transcript

SPEAKER_02 (00:00):
And we are back with another episode of Two for the
Culture.
I'm Justin Devunter.
Steven Ray.
Yes, sir.
And we're back.

SPEAKER_00 (00:07):
Back at it.
How you feeling?
Uh I feel good.
I feel good.
Um Yeah, man.
What's uh what's new?

SPEAKER_06 (00:16):
What's new?

SPEAKER_02 (00:17):
Uh nothing much on my side.
You know, I'm always gonna besame old, same old.
I I am tra we are traveling nowfor Thanksgiving.
So I guess we can really startthere.
I'm going to Detroit.
You're going to Memphis?
Going to Memphis.
I got you.
And you say you're picking upyour daughter.

SPEAKER_00 (00:30):
Yep, me and Kaya will be out there.
My cousin said, my cousin said,um, no, I well, I asked her, I
was like, hey, you gonna bethere?
Because um, you know, I'm comingwith Kaya uh pumpkin.
Okay, um, you just told me abouther.
Okay.
Yeah.
Um, yeah, yeah, yeah.
And then uh she's like, When areyou gonna be here?
I said Thursday and Friday.

(00:52):
She's like, You only gonna behere for two days, Junior?
I was like, bro, I ain't finnabe in Memphis too long.
You know But uh yeah, so thatthat that should be that should
be really fun.
I got you.
Uh who's the better cook?
Your mom or your dad?
Dad.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, crazy enough, right?
No, he he cooks, yeah, he cooksI I think maybe it was just the

(01:13):
effort.
He would always go on uh FoodNetwork, he would get recipes.
I I I'm gonna start doing Iactually just started to to cook
and shit, but um he used to getrecipes and then just try to
remake it.
One of his favorite shows wasEmerald Live.
You remember that?
Mm-hmm.
Bam! Mm-hmm.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That was his guy.
He used to hit that the samething.

(01:35):
Yeah, you know he did.
The white man.
You can just imagine.
But yeah, that was that's toofunny.
He definitely used to do that.
Yeah, that's uh who was like thethe the best cook in your
family.

SPEAKER_02 (01:46):
Um my mom, for sure.
Yeah, has done she's she's justgood at what she does.
Yeah, so um she rarely misses.
Yeah, yeah, but yeah, so I'mlooking forward to driving up
there.
Oh, yeah, yeah, because the planwas like at first, um I was
thinking about getting a doing aflight, but with all the the
government shut down andeverything, I was like, yeah,

(02:08):
I'm probably not going to get aflight.
You know, I because I was like,it's probably gonna take me just
as long, potentially, to getthrough the airport than just
driving, you know, and now Ihave to worry about it and think
about it.
Um and then, you know, I finallygot my expedition out of the
shop.
So I was like, yeah, I can, youknow, now that I have a you know
a second vehicle, I I need toput that more into use anyway.

(02:29):
Um and then the government shutdown and they kind of had me uh
end it and it kind of had methinking.
I was like, maybe I should get aticket.
But at that point it was likelast minute, and I was like, I'm
kinda already settled and I canleave on my own time.
And yeah, so I'm back doing thatdrive.
Seven and a half, seven and ahalf, eight hour drive, maybe.
Yeah.
Yeah, you're you're uh justdriving by yourself?

(02:51):
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, so I'm going um leaving thprobably Thursday morning,
getting back Sunday.
Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_00 (02:58):
So you'll get there at uh the afternoon.

SPEAKER_02 (03:02):
Probably that yeah, three, three to five PM is my
expected time.
I'm thinking in my head.
But you know that's aboutliterally the same time that
I'll be there.
Yeah, and so maybe the same timeI'll probably leave around maybe
seven in the morning and getback at um three.
Uh uh.
Because we're we're still oncentral time.

(03:22):
Yeah, you said what?

SPEAKER_00 (03:23):
Uh Sunday.

SPEAKER_02 (03:24):
Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_00 (03:25):
Oh, okay.
Yeah, yeah.
So most of everybody is stayingum for for that amount of time,
Thursday through Sunday.

SPEAKER_02 (03:33):
Right, right.
And that's actually kinda alittle longer for me because I'm
typically back um like maybethat Saturday or Friday.
Yeah, I'll go Wednesday, comeback Friday or something like
that.
So Okay.
Yeah, so I think it'll be good.
Spend time with family, mysister, family's and my
brother's coming.
So um, so we all like to gettogether, have a little fun.

(03:55):
So we'll see where we go withit.

SPEAKER_00 (03:56):
Um the uh uh uh when you were talking about going to
DC, the the family that's there,are they gonna be in my sister?
Uh-huh.
Yeah.
Okay, okay, okay.
Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 (04:08):
That makes sense, then you want to get right into
it?
Yeah.
So uh you got anything on thedocket before I land?

SPEAKER_00 (04:14):
Uh no, no, I just got some random okay.

SPEAKER_02 (04:18):
So we both got random things.
Yeah.
So I want to be like this firstthought.
Like the first thought thatcomes to your mind uh when you
hear jellyfish.
I don't know.
It was just the first thing thatcame to me.
That's not like I hold up a blobpicture and like what do you
see?
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
That's would you but before weget into it, would you do
therapy?
Would you go to therapy?

SPEAKER_00 (04:38):
Uh uh yeah, I would.
Uh damn.
Like I I was reading this bookum called Law of Connection.
And it showed that blob thing inthere.
And then I was like, damn, it'sit it says like different
personality traits or thingsyou're probably going through or
whatever.
If if you have like a uh uh ifyou pick A, A is like this looks

(05:01):
like a tree.
B this is the devil.
C, da da da.
Um that was very interesting.
But yeah, I I would uh I don'tknow.
I don't know.
I I think I would, but like Isay, I think I've had this
conversation with you before.
It would only be for so long.
Like it would if I went throughsomething traumatic that I

(05:25):
couldn't deal with by myself,um, then I probably to be
honest, I don't see myself goinginto therapy unless I'm like in
a relationship or something.

SPEAKER_01 (05:39):
Okay.

SPEAKER_00 (05:40):
Like just being completely honest with myself.
Like I would try to figure thatout.
Or like Why relationship?
Because then like you're lookingat somebody else, and then I
don't know.
I I I could see just becauseI've been to therapy when I was
in a relationship, I could seehow two different sides, and

(06:00):
then now you need somebody tokind of hear both of y'all out
or to to have bettercommunication or something.
I've seen that happen.

SPEAKER_02 (06:09):
Was that the same life coach you were telling me
about?
Yeah.
Okay, so he wasn't a therapistthough, right?
He wasn't a therapist.
So you didn't technically go totherapy.

SPEAKER_00 (06:18):
Maybe I didn't.
But uh well, I mean it did itfelt it was in a way.
Um I did like it.
I I just feel like I just feellike therapy, I feel like if you
stay on the subject of somethingnegative or something that's

(06:39):
going wrong, you make the habitof constantly thinking about
that thing.
So if I go to therapy and we'reconstantly talking about my
issues, what am I doing?
I'm developing a habit ofconstantly thinking about my
issues.
Do you get what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_02 (06:56):
Okay, can you give I feel like I understand what
you're saying, but can you givean analogy?

SPEAKER_00 (07:00):
So for instance, if I'm in a relationship and we go
to see the therapist, instead ofthis, we instead, you know, you
can walk out of there and feellike better about um, I don't
know, like the whatever theissues are going on or whatever,
but at the same time, you'rewalking in there and you're
thinking of what's wrong.

(07:22):
And that's you're making a habitevery time you walk into this
door, into this room, ofthinking about what is wrong
with your relationship.
You get what I'm saying?
So you're making the habit ofconstantly thinking negative
thoughts.

SPEAKER_02 (07:37):
Yeah, I I guess my approach into going to therapy,
like couples therapy, I feellike that's glass half empty.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Mines will be more of how can wemake this better?
So you're bringing up theconcerns you have to somebody
who is trained in that area,somebody that can give a little

(07:59):
bit more information and to howto make things work.

SPEAKER_00 (08:04):
Yeah, that I that's the other side to it.
So I I I get it.
But yeah, but it just, you know,I I just feel like that habit
thing is is real as well.
Which is why I said I'm notopposed to going to therapy, but
I'm opposed to staying in it,okay, like for a very long

(08:26):
period of time.
Like the issues need to be dealtwith so we can get out of here
and move on.

SPEAKER_02 (08:30):
Okay, understood.
Okay.
So I do I think I don't thinkthat you're thinking like this,
but I do want to bring up thatif you think you're thinking
about it less is not do youthink that's gonna help or not?
What?
Like, because you was like, hey,I don't want to think about the
things that's constantly goingwrong, but if you don't think

(08:52):
about it, that ain't gonna helpthe situation.
That issue's still not gonna beresolved.

SPEAKER_00 (08:58):
Well, I'm saying like the going so much that it
is now a habit.
So again, like I'm cool with it,I'm cool with going and dealing
with certain things, and youknow that um I don't know, when
I when I did go to of course, myonly experience is going to like
the whole life coach thing.
That was a way for me to kind ofsee her side a little bit and

(09:26):
for her to see mine.
In some ways, first of all, itwas a guy, and we we slick was
homies.
So it it wasn't gonna work outfor real.
If you understand what I'msaying.
It's like it just seemed likeafter a while, it just seemed
like it needed to be somebodythat I didn't know, maybe like

(09:48):
uh a woman or some somesomething that I'm not really
familiar with, um, just to makesure this is strictly
professional.
Yeah, but there were times therewere times where he was like,
Yeah, yeah, I know exactly whatyou're saying, man.
And then like I I liked it, butalso I'm like, I'm slick

(10:08):
cheating in this.

SPEAKER_02 (10:10):
But um What was her takeaway?
Uh but I will uh the now itreminds me of what I really um
was gonna bring up was we areconstantly evolving though.
And so you going to therapy, youknow, on a recurring basis, I

(10:32):
don't think is a bad thingbecause we're also gonna be
growing and there's gonna bedifferent concerns that be are
brought up.
So that same concern yesterdayis probably not gonna be the
same concern in the future.
So we still want to growtogether in a sense, you know
what I mean?
But uh but you're saying likestill go every week?
Who says it has to be on aweekly basis?

(10:52):
Uh-huh.
It could be, you know, on amonthly basis, you know, like
for for example, when you go toum your doctor, you may have
something concerned.
I don't want to put an illnesson anybody.
Yeah, so I don't want to be ableto have cancer, but uh you may
have an illness, and so like,hey, I need to see you on a
weekly, monthly basis to makesure this is not getting worse.

(11:14):
Uh, but then those checkups maybecome like, hey, now we're back
on an annual basis or everyquarterly or every six months,
whatever.
And so it could be more of that.
It's like, hey, y'all are doinggreat, y'all way better than
what y'all got out.
Just check in with me, you know,in the next four months.

SPEAKER_00 (11:32):
You know, I can see something like that.
Um but the yeah, uh there wouldhave to be still something
wrong, like for me to be inthere.

SPEAKER_02 (11:40):
Okay.
Well, just following up and justbecause he's he's gonna be the
one who can see the progression.
You may not be able to, youknow, take your shirt off and
see with the results.
Um and and they may not see thatin you.
Y'all just kind of grow.
Um but I did want to get back tothe question I did have.
How was what was her takeawayfrom those sessions?

SPEAKER_00 (12:03):
At first, it was um it it showed from her reaction
to me, it showed um that she wasunderstanding me a little more
or a little better.
Uh, and then eventually I thinkshe kind of um felt like what I

(12:28):
just said is just like a guy'sperspective, like, you know, I
don't know, constantly trying toget her to see certain things or
whatever, and it the balancedidn't feel it didn't feel
balanced.
Yeah.
Do you think she was smarterthan you?
Uh yeah.
Okay.
Yeah.
Nah.
Nah, yeah.

(12:49):
For you know, the we were um uhuh uh we kind of like grew up
differently.
So yeah, I mean talking likeprivate school, this, that,
yeah, yeah, yeah.
So um yeah, in in that sense, uha little bit, but I don't think
that had like too much to dowith the the the the therapy

(13:10):
though.

SPEAKER_02 (13:11):
Yeah, yeah.
I was just her her analyzing thesituation.
Do you feel like you know shecould she's like, hey, her
analysis is really good for whatshe sees, you know what I mean?
Uh-uh.
And like, okay, so she's able topick up on a lot of things
quicker.
Uh-huh.
Um, just in general.
Like, so I'll use that therapysession as an example.

(13:33):
Like, hey, I may I'm probablygonna be biased in a lot of
situations, but I can clearlytell that he's his analysis is
not a professional one becausehe's guaranteed he's really kind
of just leaning on him being ina relationship, but like, yeah,
she's a girl.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, yeah.
So I'm saying the times thatwhere she's analyzing a

(13:54):
situation, she's probably moreright than her just being, hey,
you know, this is how I feel,you know, my you know what I
mean?
So it's more of a logicalperspective than it's just
always how she feels, you know?
Does that clear it up a littlebit?

SPEAKER_00 (14:10):
Uh the uh the a little bit.
Okay.
I mean I the only she can speakabout her experience.
I wasn't in those that that roomwith her.
Okay, so y'all had separate.
You we had separate.

SPEAKER_02 (14:22):
Oh, I thought y'all were together.
Uh-uh, no.
Okay.

SPEAKER_00 (14:24):
No, we was probably together maybe once.
Oh, okay.
Once, maybe twice.
But um, yeah, no.
Uh, so that's what it's kind oflike you could just get the
sense of what it is.
It it we could get the sense ofhow each of our sessions were by
how we came to each other afterthe sessions and like the things

(14:47):
that we would say to each other.
So um that's why I said that I Ifelt a little bit more
understood and all that, but I Ifelt like it wasn't both of us
was picking up on it for real.
And then I just kind of feltlike it just doesn't really feel
balanced in a way.
Um, because I should be leavingthese sessions, uh at least of

(15:10):
what I thought, you know, I I'mtrying to be a better boyfriend
too, you know what I'm saying?
And and and all that.
So I need to be leaving thesesessions feeling like, all
right, Steve, you need to seeher on this side and that side.
And I wasn't getting a lot ofthat.
And I felt like I could havegotten a little bit more of
that.
Uh and I eventually she hadpicked up on that feeling, and

(15:34):
she wasn't wrong for real.
So um, yeah, like the the nexttime that I would go, I'd rather
it be probably definitelysomebody I don't know.
But um, you know, yeah, it juststarted off like as a mutual
friend of both of us and it's acool guy, whatever.
Um so it was cool.

(15:55):
It was cool.
It helped out for a little bit.
Um and yeah, after that, youknow, uh it it just felt like
shit just went right back towhat we were in the first place.

SPEAKER_02 (16:09):
Okay, did it help when you was constantly going or
it was Yeah.
Okay, so but when you stopped,um did it get worse as you would
still continue to go, or is itwhen you stop, it's kind of when
you saw the hill kind of go downa little bit?

SPEAKER_00 (16:25):
Yeah, when it went stopped.
Okay, stuff just kind of likewent back to kind of how it was.
And again, like I'm I'm notputting I'm not putting a like a
lot of weight on her side.
I don't think you are.
Yeah, it was a both, both of usthing.
Right.
Like, yeah, we didn't um like Isaid, that that that that
situation, like both of us wastripping a lot.

(16:47):
Uh yeah, in terms of not reallybuckling down on doing things
that you have to do to grow in arelationship.
So um, yeah, therapy.
That's how, but that's why I sayI can see that more of uh being
a reason to definitely gobecause you're with this person

(17:08):
and you can see y'all aremirroring the flaws of the other
person.
So if I'm just by myself, shit,even if I am, I I might be a
little messed up or whatever insome ways or whatever, but like
I'm not gonna know that for sureuntil like way farther down the
line, if uh uh versus me livingwith a woman, like we're gonna

(17:31):
be mirroring everything.
So whatever flaw, that shitgonna come way quicker than or
it's gonna have to be dealt withway quicker than you would be by
yourself.
Because like you don't, youknow, the life is just different
when you're living with yourpartner uh or always around them
than you just being by yourself.

SPEAKER_02 (17:52):
So um my next question is, and I want to get
to the BS too.
Uh-huh.
But yeah, we always fall in intoa deep conversation.
Um, is would you do live withyour partner again, your next
partner?
Um, did you find that likereally helpful?
Besides rent and expenses, Ifeel like people come together a

(18:13):
lot more quickly than they havein the past, and and it's not
just because of like today'sstandards.
Well, it's more because of theeconomy.
You're like, hey, if we can saverent costs, let's do it.
We love each other.
You know, but if that wasn't thecase and uh you know, income
expenses was an issue, I shouldsay.
Do you think that living withyour partner you could do that

(18:35):
again?
Or are you like, you know what,I would have actually took my
time or came together when we'remarried?

SPEAKER_00 (18:41):
I wouldn't come together when we're married.
It would be before then.
Okay.
For sure.
But um I would do it again, butit have to be like after a
while.
Like I I would need I would needto be in my place.
First of all, you know, I've umI'm basically just now um like

(19:05):
being on my own type thing.
Because I've been in like a likelong-term relationship.
The last long-term relationshipI was in, it was like six years.
That's a big chunk of my life,you know.
So, and we were we were livingtogether for basically that
whole six years.
And I I got into that after Ileft Memphis.

(19:28):
So the time that I could havemoved in somewhere by myself and
experienced that, like I was ina full-blown relationship, and
it just went from me stayingwith the I don't know, the
family or or or uh uh in anapartment with friends and stuff
to now I'm in an apartment withmy girl.
So now that I'm uh by myself,like I ain't getting rid of this

(19:53):
for a while.
So I yeah, I would have to beextremely deeply in love with
somebody, and then I stillwouldn't move in with that
person to maybe I don't know, Idon't have like a time frame on
it, but um yeah, I don't I don'tI don't have a time frame on it,

(20:16):
but the way I think anyway rightnow is just like I would need a
lot of time to to make sure thatthat's a move that I would want
to do because that's your wholelife changes, everything changes
when that happens.
And like I I really enjoy wakingup and going to sleep when I

(20:37):
want and you know doing whateverI want.
And just should just bechanging.
You know, the day to day, thealright, are we gonna eat the
same thing?
Are we gonna well I wanna watchthis, but I I guess I'll watch
that later and we can watchthis.
Like everything is different,and also a lot of things can be
a positive as well, though.
But um I I I did want to askyou, like, are you in therapy

(21:02):
right now?
Have you been?
No.
Are you going?

SPEAKER_02 (21:06):
Not anytime soon.

SPEAKER_00 (21:07):
Yeah, so would you would you go?

SPEAKER_02 (21:10):
I would if it was free.
Uh but uh to be so what I tellpeople is that I'm uh for the
most part an open book.
I do keep things to close to mychest.
Um I think I've said it, maybe Imaybe said it on another
podcast, I'm not sure, but if Ican't talk about it freely, then

(21:32):
I'm truly not over it.
And um, so I'm I'm saying allthat to say that I'm pretty much
an open book.
Um, so I have so many people whohave a lot of wisdom that I I
think my mom is like a prettymuch a glorified life coach.
So, you know, I I come to her,my mentor, you know, the thing

(21:54):
that reminded what you weresaying about your um like you
coming away kind of enthusiastica little bit or you wanting to
feel that way about yourrelationship when you was
talking about the therapy andthings like that.
That was I was getting a lot ofthat from my mentor, is that
it's like, oh, you know, thereis light at the end of the
tunnel.
You know, there are things I canwork on, you know, it felt good

(22:16):
about the relationship and itmade me wanted to do more.
But like you mentioned,eventually, you know, that you
know, as as I stopped, you know,seeing them a lot more and
speaking on it, speaking aboutthe relationship uh to him a lot
more, it started to kind of alittle bit go by the wayside and
it was back into that, you know,not depression, but you know,

(22:38):
things not going well in it.
Um, so I definitely know whatyou mean.
But therapy, I think would begood to do it, but you know,
it's just time out the day.
I don't really feel like a superneed for it.
I hear that people say when it'scalling you, that's when you
should seek it.
Um, and I don't think it'scalling me yet, but I am

(23:01):
open-minded to it.
So somebody, you know, waslistening to me talk, because
sometimes you can hear umpeople, they may not say a
thing, but you can be like, I'llmake it simple.
Like, you hear somebody talk,you'll be like, bro, that nigga
crazy.
Like he's crazy for real.
Yeah, it yeah, and so sometimeswhen I hear people talk, I was

(23:22):
like, you know, the way that hespeaks about himself, you can
tell he's very insecure and heprobably needs somebody to talk
to.
Yeah, so um, so if I hear thatfrom other people, like, bro,
you know, like you straight, yougood, you know, you sound like
you know, you about to jump offa bridge, you know, and then
like, okay, maybe I need tospeak to somebody, you know.

(23:42):
Or I or maybe it's a key phrasebecause sometimes, like, for
I'll use an example, is um whenI was driving this lady, she uh
her dad was in the musicindustry and she was kept on
talking about own ownership andowning her masters.
And I was like, um, I was like,you know, did your dad get
screwed over?
You know, and then she's like,Yeah, you know, actually he did.

(24:03):
You know, they took all his, youknow, um his publishing or
whatever away.
And like, now I always focus onownership because of that
trauma.
So I was able to, by her word,she wasn't saying directly, hey,
my gap, my dad was getting effedby the music label.
Uh, I was able to like, hey, Ican tell the way that you
constantly bringing up ownershipthat something happened, you

(24:25):
know, and you're not in themusic industry in particular,
your dad was.
So what happened with him?
So sometimes when I say things,I was like, I don't that may be
a uh a trigger for somebody tobe like, okay, I can tell that
there's an issue here becausethe word is you use this
typically correlates to X.
But you know, so far, if if itmay have happened, nobody kind

(24:48):
of mentioned it to me.
But um, I'm sure there's gonnabe an element to it to where I
need to probably be in it and belike, bro, this is the best
thing because I hear greatthings about it.
But since I'm, you know, have somuch people around me that I
speak to um that are willing tonot be the S man and tell me the
things I'm doing wrong, Ihaven't found this the need for
it.

SPEAKER_00 (25:08):
Yeah, no, that's that's the thing too, of having
um some sense of community uh uhuh around me, um, which I don't
really feel alone for real.
Like I don't feel like I don'texpress myself or talk about
certain things.

(25:28):
I I feel like with most of myfriends, um yeah, even even if
it's like laughing through it orum you know, something that'll
throw me off in my week orwhatever, I'll actually say
these things and I can hear liketalking about it in general, you
know, when you start hearingwhat you're saying and like

(25:52):
thinking about that um versusholding it in, you actually have
these conversations, and thenlike you know, somebody might
ask me, like, so how did so thethe what'd you do after that?
Or like did you blah say blah?
And then you answer thesequestions and it could be a
normal conversation, but likethen you're actually thinking
about yourself, you know, andyou're like, oh damn, I I

(26:12):
actually felt like this, this,or that.
So having a community around, itdefinitely does.
Um, it's probably like a majorthing for me that makes me feel
like I actually do have peopleto talk to.
Not necessarily on a mentorlevel, like I mentioned last uh
podcast.
Um that is something that Ishould definitely uh um look and

(26:35):
and and and seek to to grow as aman.
But um yeah, for the most part,that's that that is um that is
something that I feel like it'sextremely helpful to have that
sense of like um I I I don'tknow.
Like I said, community orcamaraderie, like you we're
we're in this thing togethertype thing.

(26:57):
And I I can talk to y'all aboutstuff and then y'all can talk to
me about stuff.
So that definitely helps out.
Uh understand.
Yeah.
So uh I went excuse how to doit.
Hold on, I did want to add I didwant to ask.
Um do you think that you couldlive with a girl?
Like, do you think you couldlive with your partner?
Have you lived with your partnerbefore?

SPEAKER_02 (27:18):
Quasi.
You know, like you know, we we Ihad this the apartment back in
0201 days.
This is when it was Tate,Cordero, Jalen.
Uh nah, before Jalen, and uh,and me.
So it was four of us, and thenshe would always stay there.
Uh-huh.
So it was like but she had adorm room that she could go to

(27:40):
at the end of the day, but shenever went.
Uh-uh.
So not really, but yes.
Yeah.
Um, do I think I don't, youknow, my mentor always advises
against it.
You know, he says that youshould wait, you shouldn't, you
know, shack up in yourrelationship and you should wait
till you're married to um to uhto actually live together.

(28:05):
And so I'ma lean I'ma take thatguidance.

SPEAKER_00 (28:08):
You're gonna move in on the I'ma try to take that
guidance.
Oh my god, right.
What a roll of the dice.
I can't even imagine that.

SPEAKER_02 (28:19):
Not I mean That's crazy, man.
Me and my ex-girlfriend, wedidn't live together, but I was
over there often, so I know thatour habits, yeah.
Yeah, so I guess I can see thatright, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 (28:30):
Um, it ain't the same.
It ain't the same.
If y'all could leave, yeah, youcould leave.
When you can't leave, it's notthe same.
Yeah, like when you can calmdown after an argument, when you
can, you know, I don't reallyfeel like going over there
today.
Da-da-da.
You could do all that, but whenyou can't do that.

SPEAKER_02 (28:51):
Yeah, but if she wants you there, then it's kind
of that on the case.

SPEAKER_00 (28:55):
I'm saying all around of the relationship.
She wants you there, she don'twant you there.
She kind of same thing for you.
You want to be there, you don'treally want to be here right
now.
You that you gotta deal with allof that.
It's not the same.

SPEAKER_02 (29:07):
I I agree.
It's definitely probably not thesame for sure.
Um, but it is it, do you thinkthat I think that humans are
fairly malleable and they canlike change fairly quickly.
We very much bred to adapt tochange, I think.
So like we may not want it andit may not feel good, but over a

(29:28):
course of time, like how longdoes it take takes a couple
weeks to break a bad habit orsomething like that?
Yeah, so I mean, after, youknow, I'm sure I'm sure I'm
probably thinking naive aboutit.
But maybe after a couple monthsor two, it's like, okay, this is
fine.
As long so it's really aboutfocus on choosing the right

(29:49):
person for you.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
And that's um, I mean, um that'sobvious, but also making sure
what you don't or do like andsometimes being in a
relationship.
And realizing, hey, we're notaligned in a lot of areas.
Like for for for an example,what I'm really speaking to is

(30:13):
are you open-minded?
Are you willing to change forfor us together?
So say if say if I always leavethe toilet seat up, am I going
to take try to make a constanteffort to put it down for you?
Okay, those are things that wecan do.
Hey, I don't, I'm not sure whatbad habit, like I don't like
shoes in the bed, for example.

(30:35):
Um, then make sure you have yourshoes off.
Is that so hard to fix?
You know what I mean?
So we're just trying to conformto each other.
You may like your shoes in thebed, but for me, I thought it's
crazy.

SPEAKER_06 (30:48):
Let's say I said, first of all, it's crazy.

SPEAKER_02 (30:50):
Yeah, I'm just using the ex a quick example that's
coming to my mind.
I'm sure there's others that youknow I may find annoying.
Uh, like for example, you know,I ran water as I washed the
dishes.
Uh-huh.
She liked to fill up the water.
Oh, and the grandma's be doing.
Yeah, exactly.
Uh-huh.
Yeah.

(31:10):
So that those are, can I conformto that?
Is that something that is a hardline for me that I can't fix?
So I'm just saying, as long asI'm with somebody who's
committed, like, hey, I'm notgonna, this is not a line I'm
willing to like die, a hill I'mwilling to die on.
So that's very important to me.

(31:31):
It's like, hey, do you love meenough to fix this thing that
I've it's hard for me?
It's, you know, when a mypeppies, then, you know, we can
talk about it.
But as long as you're willing tobe able to understand and care
for me enough to make thosechanges, then I'm willing to
work with you in that way.
That's why, that's why I'msaying, hey, living each other

(31:51):
is gonna definitely beadjustment, it's gonna be tough.
But if I'm choosing the rightperson who truly loves me and
cares about me, isn't that's notgonna be the end of the world?
Yeah, yeah.
No, no, no, I agree with that.

SPEAKER_00 (32:02):
Right.
Yeah, that it does scare me tonot live with the person before
marriage, though.
That scares me.

SPEAKER_02 (32:10):
Right.
But I mean, so but it's like howmany things can she really do
wrong for you, like, bruh, I'myou know, I glad I live with
her.
Like, what is she doing?
Pissing in the bed, you knowwhat I mean?
Like, you never know.
You know, like what is she doingso off that you can't, you know
what I mean?
That she can't fix her.

SPEAKER_00 (32:28):
100% knowing what you're about to marriage till
death do us part?
Right.
That's that's a huge thing, youknow what I'm saying?
So I yeah, hell yeah.
I'm saying 100% what I'mgetting.

SPEAKER_02 (32:43):
I'm not saying y'all never stay the night with each
other, but I'm saying that yeah.
So I'm saying, what did she doit like that?
She got a a c a voodoo closetthat you would have never seen,
you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_00 (32:55):
Like that, it's just the the dynamic of staying
together in one space, you knowwhat I'm saying?
That shit is just is justdifferent.
I I don't like you just gotta doit to understand what I'm
saying.

SPEAKER_02 (33:12):
Yeah, I I I'll be hard-pressed, I could be wrong,
I could be naive, so I'm gonnaalways lean to that.
But my ex-girlfriend, if we wasto live together, it would be
something that she did thatsurprised me.

SPEAKER_00 (33:23):
There would be nothing that she did.

SPEAKER_02 (33:24):
No, I'm just saying like her living habits.
Like, I saw it very much infull.

SPEAKER_00 (33:30):
Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 (33:30):
So if she did something that, like, oh my
goodness, I I I didn't see this.
I would have never saw this hadI not lived with you.
No, I'm I'm pretty much I seeexactly.

SPEAKER_00 (33:41):
That's not where I'm coming from.
I'm not coming, I'm not comingfrom how they live or the upkeep
of that.
You can see you can sense that.
You can you can see that if yougo over enough.
Right.
Go go over their house uhenough.
Um what I'm saying is thedynamic between two people in a
closed setting after a while.

(34:03):
It's like it's it's it's I don'tknow, it's the truth.
Like it's like what who y'allare together in a closed
setting.
It's like COVID.
Like when COVID happened and umyou know, you you're you're
you're you're with your partner,you don't really go anywhere,
you don't do anything and allthat, like you're just you're

(34:25):
stuck there.
Uh it's just it's just differentchallenges, like just simply
being a human, not like upkeepand oh she digs in her nose at 7
p.m.
on Wednesdays.
I didn't know that.
But um, you know, it ain't likethat.
So that that's all I was saying.
I got you.
Yeah.
It's it's it's it it can be agreat thing though.
Like I told you like the otherday, I do miss that feeling of

(34:48):
you know, it's a long day orwhatever, and then you know, you
you you you laid up withsomebody who just like loves
you.
That's that is one of the bestfeelings in the world.
Uh so there there are many,many, many, many benefits.
But I I do know life changes.
Yeah.
So I I'm very much so enjoyingbeing single and doing whatever

(35:11):
I want to do.
Everything changes.
Like we have to think about whatwe it's it's everything, bruh.
Everything.
So I understood.

SPEAKER_02 (35:21):
Yeah.
Um so I'm gonna take you on ajourney journey.
Uh-huh.
All right, you ready?
I'm I'm being extra.
But um so picture, you're at agrocery store.
Yes.
You're walking down the aisle,um, you're getting your favorite
cereal.
Okay.

(35:42):
Then you see your ex-girlfriendof six years walk past you.
Are you speaking to her?

SPEAKER_06 (35:49):
I'm gonna say hey.
Okay.
Yeah, I don't hate her.

SPEAKER_02 (35:52):
Okay.
Hey Steven, how are you?
That's exactly what's gonnahappen.
Yeah.
Hey, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 (35:58):
Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_02 (35:59):
Mm-hmm.
And are you going to try to keepthat conversation in a minimal?
Do you think that your heartwill stop after seeing her?

SPEAKER_00 (36:08):
Uh, it would definitely throw me off.
Like, cause this is a randomthing, right?
Right.
Oh, it's absolutely throw, itwould absolutely throw me off.
Um yeah, the yeah, her or or thethe the the most uh recent ex.
Yeah.
If I'm just somewhere and theyjust pop up, yeah, it's gonna be
like, whoa, hi, you know.

SPEAKER_02 (36:29):
Um so your heart would stop, like kind of.

SPEAKER_00 (36:34):
I don't know if it would stop, but it would just be
like it would throw me off forsure.
Just seeing that part, becausewe don't talk, you know.
I I don't really talk to any ofuh well, not not really, but I
don't talk to any of my exes.
So that would for sure kind ofthrow me off.
And I think it would just benatural to have some type of

(36:56):
conversation.
Like I said, if it was straightbeef, then you know, I it would
be a priority to keep this as aminimum, you know.
Like I ain't finna talk to you,bro.
Like it, but it's not like that.
So yeah, I I could just see justI don't know.
Um first being thrown off andthen being like, so what's the

(37:17):
how because we'll we stuck thenlike in conversation, we right
in front of each other.
So it would just be like, yo, sothe how is everything?
And I could see it going likethat, and then eventually we
just go our separate ways.

SPEAKER_02 (37:29):
Oh, okay.
So you you don't think they'llbe more uh curious, like, hey,
hey, actually I'm free fordinner.
No, you wouldn't you would sayyou would turn it down?
Uh I don't uh I don't see myselfgoing to dinner with any of your
exes to follow up.

SPEAKER_00 (37:46):
Um dinner, I I don't know.
I I don't know about that.
You know, yeah certain peoplenot really.
The other ones maybe.

SPEAKER_02 (38:04):
Okay.
Yeah, I'll say that.
Okay, yeah.
Okay, so I I I sound sounds likeI shouldn't explore that.
We'll go keep it there.

SPEAKER_00 (38:12):
Yeah, some of you know, we'll keep it cute or
whatever.
And then, you know, um yeah,some people, like this this
conversation is only going thisfar, and then others maybe.
I I I don't know.
It just depends.
Like uh, like if I think aboutall of my exes, and if I ran

(38:34):
into every single one of them,yeah, I say maybe half half of
them.
Just because I know probablylike we would just be just
straight cool friend vibe, likewe're never gonna get back to
anything.
Like maybe it just might be acool thing to grab drinks or
something.
Uh the other half, I don't seeme um exploring that.

(38:58):
Yeah.
Well, what about you?
Is it with all of them?
Is it the same treatment?
Yeah, I would treat them todinner.
You would treat them to dinner?

SPEAKER_02 (39:06):
Yeah, I would treat them to dinner.

SPEAKER_00 (39:07):
Oh my god.

SPEAKER_02 (39:08):
Yeah, I don't think that's trying to spin the block.
I don't think that's where I'mgoing.
Yeah, yeah, I mean, I think thatwould be just, you know, I'm
gentleman-like?
Yeah, I guess.
Like, hey, you know, hey, ifthey invite me and like, hey,
you know, um, hey, we should gettogether.
I'm free for tonight.
I'm like, okay, I'll go.
Yeah, yeah.
I don't, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

(39:29):
I don't have anything hold meup.
You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_00 (39:31):
So that's that's not what it sounded like.
It's just sounded like um Nah,it was like what what threw me
off is you said treat them todinner.
So I was thinking more so likey'all both were like, even even
if that is the case at the endof the night, that's that's
fine.

SPEAKER_02 (39:47):
Yeah, I'm gonna pick up the bill for sure.

SPEAKER_00 (39:49):
Yeah, I think that's that's fine.
I I was just saying more so Ithought you were gonna say,
like, um, if both of y'allaren't doing anything, and then
you know, both of y'all just goto this place or whatever, but
it seemed more so you weresaying you would lead the
conversation in like I'd like totake you to dinner.

(40:09):
Like that that just kind ofthrew me off a little bit.

SPEAKER_02 (40:12):
Um, nah.
I I mean, I would like to takeyou to dinner.
Um, I may maybe not feel thatway.
I mean, but if if the I'm notgonna say no, that I wouldn't
say that.
So let me bring bring him back.
I wouldn't.
It depends on how theconversation goes.
But I can see myself, hey, ifyou're free tonight, let's go to

(40:33):
dinner, let's chat, let's followup this conversation, you know,
with a deeper one, depending onhow it goes.
So I'm not opposed to it.
But if we're going to dinner,I'm most likely going to pay for
it.
And that's just gonna be theperson I am.
And you know, if I'm even outwith friends, if it's not really
talked about before, the idea isgoing to be paid for it, unless
you kind of invite me out, typeof thing.
But if it's like anex-relationship, then I'll

(40:53):
probably pick up the bill.
So that's where I was reallykind of stemming from.
Um, but um, the reason why I Iwent really wanted to ask this
question because I was uhdriving Uber last night and it
was maybe a little bit deeperthan just that.
Um it was this college collegekid, um, girl, and um she was

(41:14):
going to I forgot the the club,but it doesn't matter.
Um and then she was talkingabout her, you know, her
ex-boyfriend's gonna be thereand how you know she had spill
spilled a white collar on herpants.
She's like, nah, I got, youknow, it looks like I got PC
pants or whatever.
You know, now he's gonna clownme.
Yeah, you know, yeah.
And then she was like, you know,if I fight him, y'all gonna jump

(41:34):
in.
No.
And then there's like, what yougot me, you shouldn't put me one
of our friends like, youshouldn't put me in a position
to fight no man.
Right.
You know, but I would help, youknow, which is very much true.
I was like, that's you know, fora junior in college, uh, that
seems very uh mature of you tosay.
Yeah.
But um nonetheless, it had methinking about I was like, you

(41:57):
know, in my head, I was like, itsounds like you still love him.
And so regardless.

SPEAKER_00 (42:03):
He's trying to like look nice.

SPEAKER_02 (42:06):
Well, my deeper thought was is like they have an
extreme emotional reaction justby his presence being there.
Whether you want to fight him,you is hating like a thin line
between love.
Like, hey, you must love him alittle bit for him to I'd be

(42:26):
thinking that.

SPEAKER_00 (42:27):
I'm not gonna lie.
I'm not gonna lie.
Uh anytime, anytime I get with,not even get with.
Anytime, I'm gonna say for themost part.
Because sometimes girls behaving like real stories of like
trump traumatic, yeah, yeah,exactly.

(42:48):
Domestic violence, absolutely,yeah.
Yeah, that's the it is a verymuch so a real thing.
So not necessarily that, butlike outside of a traumatic
experience.
Um I'm just saying the firstthing that I think of is as soon
as I hear um uh a girl liketalking crazy about her ex.

(43:15):
Like, I because I don't do that.
I I don't talk like bad, even ifI have like my um my my thing,
you know, or or or um ups anddowns with exes and all that
type of stuff.
Yeah, you know, we all havethings that we like about our
exes and we don't like about itbecause they're our ex.
So but anytime I hear a girllike going in, like, man, F this

(43:40):
nigga, I'm da da da da da stupidass motherfucker, da da da da I
do be thinking in the back of myhead, like, do you still like
this man a little bit?
And that may not be true.
That may not be true at all, butI do think that though, because
I I I don't even I don't it'snot even like exploring their

(44:01):
mind about it.
It's more so I'm not like that.
You know what I'm saying?
And I don't have I'm not holdinganything on my exes.
And like I can honestly cuss allof them out in my head for
certain things that happen inevery single one of these
relationships, but like I'm notdoing that because I don't have

(44:24):
I don't feel like you know, inlove with them or I I don't feel
this this sense of um just kindof how I did in those moments.
Um But I do feel like that uhwhen I hear somebody like like
start cussing and like uh namecalling, like and I'm just like

(44:47):
something about it is just likeI I don't know what happened
because again, bad things dohappen in relationships and it
can uh majorly affect uh howpeople think about certain
people.
But um that that is somethingthat I like my ears go up.
Like that dogs be like when theystart listening to shit.

(45:09):
Like as soon as you you saythat, like my ears do go up a
little bit.
I'm like, I wonder what this istruly about.
And one and two, I don't I thinkthat's a great trait to like to
to to to be putting down youknow other people.
But again, I never know what'sgoing on in these type of

(45:31):
situations, too.
They they could have I don'teven want to like give certain
examples, but some real shit bereally be happening.
Absolutely.
Um and yeah feeling like thatwhen have you ever heard like
you know, you you're talking toa girl and then she's just like
man, this whack ass dude, youprobably I I've heard it all,
but what what about you?

(45:52):
Have you heard uh I mean thingslike that before?

SPEAKER_02 (45:54):
Yeah, absolutely.
I think that you hear them whilethey're in a relationship, while
they're out of relationship, um,and some of it is just tearing
down to kind of big you up in asense.
Yeah.
Um, but and you can tie kind ofhear the difference between them
telling their story versus themactually like, hey, this is a

(46:16):
negative trait.
You know, and it just depends onhow things come out.
Uh, but yeah, of course, I'veheard that before.
And yeah, I get uh, you know,sometimes I understand
understand, and then but likethe way, and then also there's
like the way you're talkingabout this, you probably ain't
that bad of a dude.
You know, I yeah, I probablylike him.
You know what I mean?

(46:37):
Yeah, he'll probably be cool,you know.
So it just kind of all depends.
But yeah, of course.
Um, let's kind of get into theBS a little bit and have a
little little bit of fun.
Uh, I'm just intrigued on whatyou think and what side of the
fence you're gonna be on.
So you you start to like thisgirl.
Yeah.
Y'all go on a couple dates.

(46:59):
All right.
All right.
She she goes out of town for acouple of days and then she
comes back.
Uh-huh.
And then she's like, hey, I justbeen, I just went on a sex a
sexual wellness retreat.
First thought, what is thatgoing to make you like her, like

(47:19):
her less?

SPEAKER_00 (47:22):
Uh in terms of getting first of all, I don't
even know what a sexual wellnessretreat is.
And I got you.

SPEAKER_02 (47:29):
Yeah, so I'm gonna I'm gonna explain what it is.
So a sexual wellness retreat ishelping participants, um, and
this woman in particular, womenin particular, access their
erotic selves.
Um it's in this group, attendeesare straight by sexual
arrangement.
I'm just reading it in a rangefrom mid-30s to mid-70s.

(47:50):
Um, this is a particular retreatthat they're going on.
Um, and you know, they come tothey've come to overcome
intimacy intimacy issues or bodyshame to process trauma to learn
how to better orgasm orotherwise improve their sex
lives.

SPEAKER_00 (48:08):
So reading that, the memes are starting to come to my
mind of it looks like a yogaclass or something, and there's
a guy, it's always a guy.
Some smooth ass nigga.
And I just see in my head, thisis what I'm gonna think as soon
as she said, and as soon as Iread that, because as soon as I

(48:30):
went on sexual awareness withimmediately start looking it up,
and as soon as I read that, inmy head, I'm gonna be thinking
about this yoga class, and it'salways this dude, and he don't
be touching them, but his handbe over him like like gyrating

(48:50):
and shit.
Yeah, looking like they justbursting, you know, gotta come
there with a hella sets ofpanties or some shit.

SPEAKER_02 (49:01):
But um so is that gonna make you like her less?

SPEAKER_00 (49:10):
I would be confused.
I would be like, I I think Ithink I think I would be more
confused than knowing if I likeher less.
It wouldn't be more.
Right.
There definitely wouldn't bemore.
But a decision has to be made onon that that that side.

(49:32):
I think if I was like reallyliking a girl and then she
because like when I'm readingit, it sounds like there are
deeper issues there.
Are aren't they always with us?
You know?
Oh, I mean you do you just saidlike, you know, you that you
have intimacy issues and all allthat type of stuff.
You're trying to like figure itout or whatever, or maybe she

(49:54):
just wanted to explore orsomething.
I I don't I don't fully have itwould be a little weird.
It'll be a little weird.
But I do understand if she'ssingle, right?
But it's not giving hoe.
It's not giving hope.
Asking.

(50:16):
That's what I'm saying.
Um I I I don't because then youcould be like super sexual and
now that was just a part of thisjourney that you're gonna be on,
or that you probably already on.
I'll be confused.
I don't know.
Okay.
I think I think I'd rather if itwas a girl who I I was dating

(50:40):
and and was was seeking to um todate, I I would rather Enrique
not use his spiritual powers onon this girl that I'm trying to
date.

SPEAKER_02 (50:56):
Okay, so let's put it put it to somebody that
you're interested in.
Yeah, no, that's what I'msaying.
Like somebody in mind at yourpicture that is telling you
this.

SPEAKER_00 (51:06):
Uh-huh.
Okay.
Um, yeah.
I'd rather, yeah, Miguel nottrying to have him like, you
know, just hovering.
Just hover.
Just first of all, I gotta learnthat.
I might look up some videostonight.
Oh, how the how do they be doingthat, bro?

(51:27):
But um yeah, bruh, the wholehovering thing.
I see now that's gonna mess meup.
That's gonna mess me up.
If I actually think, if I if Iif I think in my head, like
these videos that I'm talkingabout, and I replace the girl
with the girl that I'm talkingto, and she's just like going
in, I'm like, ah, he got her.

(51:50):
Yeah, I think um, I don't thinkit would help.
I don't think it'll help, justbeing completely honest.
I I would be I would be veryintrigued to know what that was
for her, though.
I would ask a lot of questions.
I'd be like, so what happened?
So what'd you feel?
Would you that I would be reallyinterested because I um that is

(52:11):
interesting, like, you know, forthem.
But um, yeah, like in my head,like you you just coming to
another man and he ain't eventouch you.
Okay, I got you.
Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 (52:26):
Um, it's giving hold of me a little bit.
Like, it's like, why are yougoing on a sexual wellness
retreat?
What are you trying to find?
You know, like, like I I feellike that's I don't want I don't
want to be like, hey, you likeyou naughty for that?
Because there are, I'm surethere's probably some people

(52:46):
who's doing good work.
Like, I can imagine like a placefor it where there's a woman who
had, you know, um maybe wastouched when they was younger
and has a problem, they areattracted by men, but have a
problem going that far becauseof their traumatic experiences.
And then, you know, so say if Imeet that person is like, hey, I

(53:08):
don't want to take it anyfurther than that because you
know it just brings it's verytriggering.
And then, you know, she comesback, you know, say if we fall
off, she comes back in threemonths, and then she's a
completely different person.
I can tell that, hey, you know,you been to that and she talked
about the sexual wellnessretreat.
Then I could try to somewhatkeep an open mind.
Yeah, and I was like, thisactually, I can see the

(53:29):
difference.
You know what I mean?
So outside of that, it'd belike, bruh, you just just say
you want to be, you know what Imean?
You just want a nut real quick,you know, yeah, yeah.
And you and you trying to uhdisguise it as you know some
type of therapy.
Uh-huh.
Yeah, yeah.
Because that's what it's reallyreading.
It's like, bruh, you know, y'allgot pedals or whatever, and then
you know, you really just try toorgasm, you know what I mean?

(53:52):
And trying to disguise it as ayeah.

SPEAKER_00 (53:54):
That's all I'm getting from it.
Yeah, the the the all the thevideos and all that stuff I've
seen, usually that's it, andthey've been doing that for a
long time.
I still uh that was like wayback when.
Um with the old time video look,you know I'm talking about, like
the the VHS look.
I got like memes in my head thatkind of look like that.

(54:15):
Yeah, people have been doingthat.
That's that's wild.
I wonder, is there one for men?
Do men do that?

SPEAKER_02 (54:23):
That sounds like Vegas.
You know what I mean?
That sounds like the bunnyranch.
Who's that?
That's uh you HB Have you everwatched ABO like after dark?

SPEAKER_00 (54:33):
ABO?

SPEAKER_02 (54:33):
HBO.

SPEAKER_00 (54:34):
HBO After Dark?
Uh-uh.

SPEAKER_02 (54:36):
It's yeah, yeah.
It's a HBO After Dark?
I mean, back this is back in theday.
You know, where you had Taxi CabConfessions, real taxi cab
confessions, yeah, or like realsex.
Then you never watch.
Well, I mean, I probablyshouldn't have been watching it
when I was a kid.

SPEAKER_00 (54:53):
Uh, but I do remember taxi cab.

SPEAKER_02 (54:56):
Yeah, wow.
But pretty much the the the Ithink it's called the Bunny
Ranch.
It was where men, it was legalin a part of Nevada into where
men can go to a pretty much abrothel to have sex with women.
Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 (55:11):
Damn.
Would you do that?
Would you um not at all?
Would you um um I almost went toone of these one time.
What?
Not what you talking about.
But I was I I was uh dating thisgirl, and there's this place, um

(55:33):
there's a place where you cango, and then like you wear
masks.
Yeah, and I I knew that's whereyou just go.
Yeah, everybody just do whateverthey want at these places, like
this club or this night,whatever.
And then you could take yourperson and like you could just
do it.
Like a swingers club.

SPEAKER_02 (55:50):
I guess that's I mean they used to have one
downtown Nashville.
Really?
I used to be people up from itand then when COVID happened.
Uh-huh.
I mean, come on now.

SPEAKER_00 (56:01):
Yeah, they wiped that whole thing out in one
night.
Yeah, yeah.
But um, yeah, no, no, no, no.
I I I actually thought aboutgoing to one of those one time.
That shit was crazy.
Yeah, and I guess like everybodyis just basically smashing at
this place, and you can, youknow, choose whoever you want to
or whatever, or just do it withyour person right there.

(56:23):
Yeah, I almost went to one.

SPEAKER_02 (56:25):
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Uh were you excited about going?

SPEAKER_00 (56:28):
No.

SPEAKER_02 (56:28):
I mean, I was I was.
How did you almost go to withyour partner?

SPEAKER_00 (56:32):
I'm pretty sure if I stayed with her, I probably
would have gone.

SPEAKER_02 (56:35):
Okay.

SPEAKER_00 (56:35):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 (56:36):
So who how did you hear about it?
From her.
Okay.

SPEAKER_00 (56:40):
Yeah, she never went.
But she kind of wanted to golike with her partner.

SPEAKER_02 (56:44):
Oh, okay.
I got you.
Right.

SPEAKER_00 (56:46):
So when we were dating, that was like uh an idea
in the air.
Like, like, would you dosomething like this?
And I was like, you know, acouple shots.
Um, you know, might say, fuckit.
You know, just for the memory.

SPEAKER_02 (57:00):
So what was the idea?
Did y'all have a game plan ify'all was to do it?
Uh it wasn't a game.

SPEAKER_00 (57:05):
We wasn't gonna like do not with nobody else around.

SPEAKER_02 (57:08):
So you just kind of people watch?
Or just have sex in front ofpeople?

SPEAKER_00 (57:12):
It's probably um probably that.
Probably that, or I I don'tknow.
She was she was a little wild.
She probably would have let I Iyeah, I don't want to say too
too much, but she she wouldn'thave done anything, but she
probably would be open to um mehaving fun.

SPEAKER_02 (57:34):
Oh, having sex with another girl.

SPEAKER_00 (57:36):
This is possibly lit.
It's lit! That that was uh yeah,that was a different that that
was that was the first time I Idated somebody like that.
Okay, I got you.
Yeah, but it was just like in myhead, it was just like for the
memory.
Yeah, I got you.
Because I would never findmyself in a place like that.
Right.
And um, yeah, I was just like,you know, just like get it out

(58:01):
the way and just wake up thenext day, and then I'll I have
this story in my head of likethis crazy ass night.
Yeah, that's that's the mainreason why I wanted to do it.
Just like a bucket list.
I didn't even know it was abucketless thing.

SPEAKER_02 (58:14):
But if she was to make out what a fine girl, would
that bother you?

SPEAKER_00 (58:18):
I don't I don't think so.
No, that that wouldn't botherme.
The only thing that would botherme is like if if um the girl put
her finger in her vagina?
I don't I don't think I don'teven know if that would bother
me.
I don't I don't know.
I don't know.
My only thing with all thatstuff is like if my girl is bi,
I don't think I can be with a bigirl.

(58:40):
Yeah.
Cause then like I don't like Idon't like my girl liking
anybody else.
Yeah.
So like if you just having funor like we have fun together and
all that type of shit.
I mean, if if the the cardsplayed like that a certain night
or whatever, fine.
But I I don't I don't ever wantto think like my girl likes
somebody else.
That's gonna mess with mebecause I'm I'm very when I when

(59:02):
I date or when I'm actually in arelationship, it's very um I
don't just I don't just makeanybody my girlfriend.
So like I really, really, reallygotta like you.
So I don't like I don't like youknow spreading so that around.

SPEAKER_02 (59:18):
So how do you feel when the girl's like, you know,
my man crush is crush brown orthey name whatever.
So does that bother you whenyou're in a relationship?
Uh I don't really like it.

SPEAKER_01 (59:28):
Okay.

SPEAKER_00 (59:29):
I really don't like it.
And it's it's not it ain't likeum at first before I went to LA
and started coming up for real,like as Ray So Silly, that stuff
didn't bother me becauseeverybody got a crush.
Everybody got a crush.

(59:49):
I think plenty, the women fine,whatever.
You know, we both think theother people are attracted fine.
And before I started coming upwith race so.
Silly, you know, you're so farremoved from these people that
you really just talking, youknow what I'm saying?
Like, if I ever had a chancewith Drake or Chris Brown or

(01:00:13):
whatever, like like you'llnever, you know.
So it ain't it don't ever botheryou for real.
But when I start coming up asRay SO Silly, and then I start
going to LA, and then you startgoing to these events, then you
start getting invited to likethese other things.
You start rubbing shoulders withthese people, and the
far-removed thing kind of liketurn into like reality.

(01:00:37):
Like, you know, the the the thethe farther that I come up like
in this whole game or whatever,the um more of a chance I would
like rub shoulders with thesepeople.
So I don't want to be at a partyand like knowing like you really
like this nigga.
You know, it's it's real now.

(01:00:58):
You know what I'm saying?
So I get it.
I get um people have crushes andall that type of stuff, but I do
think differently about itnowadays.
Um like I don't know like to me,anything's possible.
You know what I'm saying?
Yeah.
After after um I started datinga few people, and like the the

(01:01:23):
the the the the people that youwell I once started, like I
probably it would probably behard to have a conversation with
some of these people, and theneventually that started to be a
reality.
Then it's just like this ain'ttoo far removed anymore.
So I do I I you know I get howpeople think, but to me, this is

(01:01:45):
also very much can be a realityat some point too.
Understand.
Yeah.
Do you do you feel like that?

SPEAKER_02 (01:01:53):
Um no, I'm not in like that circle, so it's a
little bit different.
Um I'm cool with her having herlittle crushes because I I got
mine too.
So how you know, so I'm gonna bevery much equal in that way.
Um but I also feel like, yeah,if I was in that circle and like
for my ex-girlfriend, hers waslike Jason Tatum, the game and

(01:02:16):
stuff like that.
Um I still would hope that youput it keep your composure if
you was to ever see him.
I'm like, hey, that was actuallyyour crush, you know, yeah, we
can laugh about it.
But if you're like like, youknow, like damn near about to
have a seizure, looking at himlike, all right, bro.
Like you're doing too much, likekeep it together.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

(01:02:37):
That can just be your crush andit'd be that on that, because
you know, those girls I findfine too.
Right.
Yeah, so I'm not gonna be mad atit.

SPEAKER_00 (01:02:44):
Right, no, everybody got their the their selection.

SPEAKER_02 (01:02:48):
Yeah, yeah.
But if if you're doing too much,like there's for uh what I would
have a problem with is likethere's a guy on Instagram.
I've got I not that I would everremember his name, but um, he's
uh tall, dark skinned, he's agood looking guy, and he has
dressed and I'm sure you see it,and he kind of like he'll walk
around and girls will be kind oflike, oh my god, you look great.

(01:03:11):
Uh Dude Name King.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Exactly.
So I think I think that's it.
Yeah, I know what you're talkingabout.

SPEAKER_00 (01:03:17):
All these videos like outside a club and then a
girl or like.
Exactly.

SPEAKER_02 (01:03:20):
Yeah, and then you know, I like one video, he he
was at uh he was at like Walmartor something.
Then he grabbed this uh whitegirl's hand and her man was next
to him, and then she was like,you know, she's like, oh my god,
you know, and then and then helooked the white dude looks and
just walks away.
And then he's like, and then thedude was like, Who's he?

(01:03:42):
Nobody.
She said nobody?

SPEAKER_06 (01:03:44):
Yes.

SPEAKER_02 (01:03:44):
Oh my god, yeah, and so that, of course, obviously,
you know, we just broke up.
Yeah, exactly.
Uh yeah, we're I'm done.
Yeah, you know what I mean.
So that I'm not going back to islike, all right, you you
completely hold me out.
Yeah, you know what I mean?
So yeah.
So outside of that, it could belike, you know, hey, well, he's

(01:04:05):
here, you know.
As long as you keep him togetherin that type of area, I'm okay
with it.
But yeah.
But at the cause I am your manand I love you.
So don't I think that you shouldbe rational enough to know that
you don't have a long long termif you're willing to risk one
night out with the game.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, then we definitelywasn't meant for each other.

(01:04:26):
Right.
Right.

SPEAKER_00 (01:04:27):
So yeah, that whole um would you do that?
Uh uh um if both of y'all had acrush or whatever, and then
y'all both like had a hall passto to be with y'all's crush for
a night, like would you takethat?

SPEAKER_02 (01:04:45):
So, so you're saying that if she can be with the game
and I'm with Kaylani?
Uh-huh.
Yes.

SPEAKER_01 (01:04:54):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 (01:04:55):
I don't think I can do it.
Yeah.
No, it's different if like likethere's a twin bed and he's
having sex with her right nextto me.
Yeah.
That's different.
But hey, I'll take the chance.
If I fell because of it, well, II'll learn my lesson.

SPEAKER_01 (01:05:11):
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
So hey, but yeah.

SPEAKER_00 (01:05:14):
Okay.
Yeah.
No, I can't, I can't, I can't.
Even if I just like went ham onwhoever, coming back and knowing
my girl just got dicked down,it's gonna hurt me a little bit.

SPEAKER_02 (01:05:28):
Who knows?
We don't have to talk about eachother's experiences.

SPEAKER_00 (01:05:33):
If it's if it's one of the top niggas, she got
dicked down.
Is it?
I I mean, I don't know.
I would just assume.
I I can only assume.
Especially if it's a dude whoalways gets girls and shit.
And I gotta look at my girlafter, I'm like, man, I can't
even play this nigga music inthe car no more.

SPEAKER_05 (01:05:50):
Oh yeah, I can feel that.

SPEAKER_00 (01:05:53):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I do, yeah.
I um this shit is kind ofannoying a little bit.
I ain't gonna lie.
I was dating a girl.
I was dating a girl, youremember um um uh well, I can't
say that because then that'lltime stamp it.
But I was dating a girl, and umDrake had a concert that was

(01:06:18):
streamed, and it we were bothwatching it, and I was just
chilling with her, just like armover her, and then we just like
holding hands on somerelationship type shit.
Soon as Drake came out, we'renot even there.
Soon as Drake came out, shesqueezed my hand so hard you
would have thought she washaving a baby.

(01:06:42):
She squeezed and Drake! I'mlike, I hate this nigga.
Nah, but I really I love Drake.
I love Drake.
But yeah, like bro, like Nick,come nigga.
Why you and you squeezing my youletting me know exactly what
your body is doing, right?
Why you letting me know thatfar?

(01:07:03):
Yeah, yeah.
It's some it's time, it just betoo much.

SPEAKER_02 (01:07:06):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I understand where that comesfrom.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But yeah, I might be squeezinghair just as hard.
I'm just joking.
So yeah, I gotta grow up and beDrake.
That's the life lesson.
But it's that should bemotivating for real.
Oh god, bruh.

(01:07:26):
I gotta level up.

SPEAKER_00 (01:07:28):
You know, bruh, I swear to God, bruh.
That that that it wasn't thatspecific moment, but like
moments like that, like I need Ineed to be with somebody who
looks at me like that, you know.
So I gotta, I gotta like get upthere.
So I'll never even think aboutstuff like that.

SPEAKER_02 (01:07:48):
Yeah, Drake, I'm kind of understandable on like,
but if it's like King Batch orsome shit, like I'll be like,
bruh, come on now.
Like, yeah, like why you doingall that?

SPEAKER_00 (01:07:56):
Yeah, he probably probably do got him out there.

SPEAKER_02 (01:07:58):
No, I'm sure he does, but I'm like, bruh, like,
where is our baseline?
Like, he's cool, he's hilarious,yeah, he got quite a following.
I can see why girls like him,love him, but if you're doing
all that for him, they're like,bro, we won't.
But Drake is way moreunderstandable.

SPEAKER_00 (01:08:13):
No, I get it.
I I definitely get it.
Like, even the Chris Brown thingand all that.

SPEAKER_02 (01:08:16):
Yeah, I can't be mad at that.
I mean, he's very talented.
He's been in the industry for along time.
He's a good looking guy with abunch of money.

SPEAKER_00 (01:08:22):
I be singing with this nigga.
I've just like I said, youwalked in, I'm playing Chris
Brown.
But um, I get it.
I'm just like, I just gotta beat least one of them niggas up
there.
At least, at least somebody inthe bunch.
So yeah, that I I ain't gonnalie.
That shit that was definitelymotivating to be around women
who uh fan the fuck out whenthey see their their their their

(01:08:47):
person, you know.
That uh that that definitelymotivated me to like kind of you
know at least shoot for thestars or something, you know.
So maybe I'll have some somepeople out! That's that's like a
goal of mine.
Yeah, you know, just seeingchilling with that girl, she
grabbed me like that.
Like, come on now, you you're mygirl.

(01:09:08):
You just walked out.
No, I love Drake too, so I satthere.
I had yeah, I was I was singingthe songs, but it was just like
a little bit of cringe.

SPEAKER_01 (01:09:18):
Nothing was the same.
That's hilarious.
Yeah, yeah.
No, but I think we did it.
It's an hour and ten.

SPEAKER_00 (01:09:25):
Oh, yeah, yeah, no, yeah.
We're good.

SPEAKER_02 (01:09:26):
All right, bro.
Well, this is two for theculture.
We love y'all.
We'll be back.
We'll be back.