Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_03 (00:00):
And we are back with another episode of Two for the
Culture.
I'm Justin Devante.
Stephen Ray.
And we are back.
I feel like we got a great showlined up tonight.
I think it's going to beexciting.
It's going to be fun.
I got some things I want to talkabout.
Okay.
Different experiences.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (00:20):
Can can you hear me?
You can hear me good?
SPEAKER_03 (00:22):
Yeah, I can hear you good.
Yeah, yeah.
But yeah.
How you feeling?
I feel good, man.
I got you.
SPEAKER_00 (00:30):
What did you do?
Yeah.
But I like I said, um, beforethe podcast, I made some bell
peppers.
And after I cut those onions, Idon't know what happened, but
it's it's like it's stuck in mynose or something.
SPEAKER_03 (00:40):
Like maybe clearing some science, you know.
SPEAKER_00 (00:42):
Maybe clearing some.
Yeah, I got you.
Maybe all the cheese that was init.
Some I don't know.
SPEAKER_03 (00:47):
I guess you want to uh you want to start with our
experience, getting out a littlebit uh last week, I guess, since
it's Monday.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (00:54):
Uh yeah.
So yeah, last week we we wentout.
Uh where do we start?
Did we where did we start?
We went to like a coupledifferent areas.
SPEAKER_03 (01:05):
I feel like we went to a couple of different areas.
Well, we did for sure.
SPEAKER_00 (01:09):
But we really before brought oh you were charging a
car.
SPEAKER_03 (01:11):
Yeah, exactly.
Then we was walking andchilling, yeah, yeah, and just
like that in Justin fashion,parked next to the charging
station.
Didn't put the the the chargingin there.
So we were just walking andtalking, did didn't charge the
car at all.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, I just knew I was gonna beon 80%.
(01:32):
And I was like, oh damn.
But you know, I mean, it westill made a good night of it on
the limited charge we had justgetting out.
Um to Broadway.
Yeah, so we we started onBroadway.
Um did we go to two different uhwe went to Broadway, then we
went to either yeah, we went toBroadway for a little bit like a
(01:53):
bar.
I can't remember which bar wewas at.
Uh-huh.
And then we went to um Printer'sAlley.
Oh.
Because you remember the firstbar at Broadway was either like
I want to say posties orsomething like that.
It was posties because we hadthe uh you remember the pictures
of Post Malone all over theplace.
So we went there, we went to therooftop.
(02:16):
The drinks were hot super high.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, that was crazy.
Yeah, so we're like, yeah, weain't doing it.
I was like, let's just go toPrince Alley because those are
drinks are way more reasonable.
SPEAKER_00 (02:26):
Yeah, yeah.
No, I I I I think I just gotused to over here, and like the
drinks are not that much at all.
Um, and I didn't really realizethat until we went on Broadway.
And I was just like, this placedon't even look like it it looks
cool, but it didn't look likethe amount of um the the the
(02:48):
drinks.
Usually when the drinks arehigh, it's like a nice, you
know, elegant thing.
But you've been clearly inNashville longer than I have.
Yeah, I I just equate that tocertain things.
But um it was still fun.
It was still fun.
SPEAKER_03 (03:03):
And uh then we went to uh we went to uh Miss
Kelly's, which you know I f Ifrequent there, so you know it's
yeah, so it's just an easy get adrink and kind of get out if you
want to play listen to karaoke,cool, you know, they got a
little bit of pool, so but it'sreally just yeah, I kind of get
a couple drinks in withoutreally paying Barway Pisces,
(03:24):
right?
SPEAKER_00 (03:25):
Yeah, and I got recognized like twice.
SPEAKER_03 (03:27):
Yeah, so we went back to Broadway at that point.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, yeah.
So we went back to Broadwayafter after we got a couple
drinks, and then we went toHonky Tonk Central, and that's
when you got recognized, like wewas at the bar kind of chilling,
and then that's when you knowone guy came come up to you how
was that experience?
SPEAKER_00 (03:47):
Uh what'd he say?
It was it was um it's it's it'sit's just so funny.
It's like when it happens, and Ican tell they really watch my
stuff, like for real, it's likethis face, like they're so happy
to see me.
Like it's just like surprise,like I just came back from the
(04:07):
army or something.
It's like, oh, and then andthese are grown men that we're
talking about.
Yeah, yeah.
I'm just saying, like our age orwhatever.
SPEAKER_03 (04:17):
Well, they're probably a little younger.
Oh, for real?
Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (04:19):
Well, um, nah, that that that was that was funny.
Yeah, uh, it was this dude atthe food truck, and I thought he
was I thought he was about tolike try to sell me a CD or
something until after he wasdone talking to me and he just
got back in line.
I was like, oh, okay.
I thought he worked there.
And um then the second dude, thesecond dude, yeah, that was
funny.
He was like super excited.
(04:40):
And he just started talking toyou out of nowhere, just like
yeah, developing a conversation,and then he gave us the free
tickets to the script club.
SPEAKER_03 (04:47):
Yeah, yeah.
It it and yeah, before we eventalk about that experience,
which is hilarious.
Uh, but even to that point, youknow, and then I started to
think about it, you know,because you know, you know, I
know I known you since college.
So, you know, I didn't, youknow, I didn't my ex-girlfriend,
(05:08):
uh, you met her before you metme.
SPEAKER_00 (05:11):
Uh yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (05:12):
Yeah, yeah.
So yeah, yeah.
So uh because I was cool withTate, right?
But when so she had mentioned,like, hey, you did the videos
and she started going down therabbit hole and stuff.
Uh-uh.
Yeah, yeah.
So I'm like, you know, like notthat it's I don't want to say
insecure, but me like, man, getthis nigga out of here.
You know what I mean?
(05:32):
Like, like, like it's alreadylike put my bad taste in my
mouth.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, yeah.
So yeah, yeah.
So uh, but I'm saying all thatto where um like so I was like,
I don't care for that, you know.
So, but you know, I met you, wewas like super cool, of course,
a stronger bond since then.
(05:53):
Um, but I'm saying all that tosay is that I don't see what
they pe other people see.
You know what I mean?
Like, yeah, because you're justmy homeboy, you know what I
mean?
That that do you know do thevideos and it's super popular.
Uh-huh.
But then I thought to thinkabout it, you know, some of the
people that I see on Instagram,not that I know their names, but
I see a lot of you know, seetheir faces all the time, and I
(06:16):
find their videos hilarious.
I'm like, I can see where thatexcitement may come from.
Uh-huh.
It's like, hey, I've seen somuch of your stuff, yeah, that
you know, like to see you inperson is crazy.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And so that's like super dopefor them.
Yeah.
You know, like a really goodexperience.
And I was like, I I kind of getit now.
Uh-huh.
Yeah, yeah.
(06:36):
Of the excitement and where itcomes from.
Yeah.
And so it's like it makes itmakes it feel good that some
that people feel that way aboutthe content that you put out.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
How does that how do you feelabout that?
Like people are excited to seeyou.
SPEAKER_00 (06:51):
Yeah, that's that they love the work that you do.
Yeah, that was dope.
Like both of them.
And then I didn't tell you, butum I was at the liquor store, I
think like earlier that day orsomething something to get a
bottle for the weekend.
And it was a new guy at the thethe liquor store.
Well, I ain't never seen himbefore, but um, and he just
(07:13):
turned around and it was justlike no.
And I, you know, I knew he said,bro, I recognize you.
And I always like kind of playit down a little bit just
because it was two times oneperson thought I was like
somebody that either played ballor something, and there was
(07:36):
another time where there wasanother guy who was
light-skinned, and he used to dogreen screens.
Okay.
So like I never want to leanfully into it.
Yeah, yeah.
And then just be embarrassedmyself.
Yeah, yeah.
So I always just like kind oflike dumb it down until they
tell me like they actually knowme for real.
Yeah, I got you.
So uh, but when they do, uh Ihaven't, I haven't, you know,
(08:00):
like it's it's I haven't beenaround a lot of black people
here in Nashville.
So it's very few or far inbetween, and and most of those
times it was with you, sowherever we went.
But um, yeah, I haven't gottenrecognized like that in a
minute.
Uh mainly because we're like inNashville.
If this was like the south orwhere it's like I mean, or or or
(08:21):
different areas, yeah, yeah,then I would get recognized
more.
But um, I haven't gotten that ina minute, and it was just I was
like, damn, these folks reallylike these videos.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, they were like reallyhappy.
Yeah, yeah.
They stopped everything theywere doing that night.
SPEAKER_03 (08:37):
Because I can only imagine just like in another
form, if say if I was a um apainter and people love my work,
and they're like, I love yourpaintings.
You know what I mean?
Like how excited I would feelthat my work brings you this
much joy.
Yeah.
So I wonder if is that kind ofresembling how how you feel?
SPEAKER_00 (08:57):
Yeah, it's it's it's like it's like that you you
don't you don't really know.
I don't know.
Like again, you know me, sowell, first of all, you've been
knowing me for like a long time.
But when I'm saying that you,you know, like my process of
stuff, like I'm just it's likethe green screen is up right
now, and I'm not even talking toanybody.
(09:20):
I'm just hopping in something,getting on my laptop, click
upload, and I get comments.
It's like hitting a high scoreon a game or something.
I never see anybody laugh at mystuff.
I never see a reaction unlessit's a reaction video that
somebody uploads, and that'slike one every like, well at
least right now, that's oneevery however many years.
(09:44):
So I never see it.
So that that's the only time Iactually get to experience what
you saw.
So it's really, it really canturn your day around for real
when things like that happen.
So I got you.
And also if somebody doesn'thave a great personality, it
could be kind of nerve-wracking.
Um don't know what to say forreal.
SPEAKER_03 (10:06):
Yeah, I got you.
Yeah, right.
SPEAKER_00 (10:08):
But um, that was cool.
That was cool.
SPEAKER_03 (10:10):
Does it make you want to go harder in the work
that you do?
Or yeah, yeah, it does.
SPEAKER_00 (10:15):
Like when I actually see that, I'm like, oh damn.
You you you you just it's it's II still wish that I could
actually visually see somebodythat that really likes my
content, watch it.
Because again, all I'm gettingis emo.
I'm super thankful.
I'm getting emojis, laughing myass off, da-da-da-da-da.
(10:37):
But it's just like words.
It's a it's different whensomebody's in front of you, like
laughing at your stuff.
SPEAKER_03 (10:44):
And you didn't forget about you forgot about
the third guy that recognizedyou that night.
Who?
He's like, You're the uh thepussy juice guy.
Damn! Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (10:54):
I got recognized four times this week.
That's crazy.
That's all in one week.
Yeah, yeah.
Just jam-packed there.
SPEAKER_03 (11:00):
Because he's like, bruh, I haven't did that in a
long time.
SPEAKER_00 (11:03):
I haven't done that in so I don't know how he
remembered that.
SPEAKER_03 (11:05):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (11:06):
That was 2017.
SPEAKER_03 (11:09):
Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (11:10):
Yeah, like when I first came out for real, that
first year.
Yeah, he stopped, but he wasjust like passing by pussy
juice.
He just kept walking.
I almost felt like, damn, I wantmore.
Like, what yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's uh, but no, I was I wasum it's crazy, man.
It's crazy how you you just makepeople feel, you know.
(11:32):
And um, yeah, so that the usstarting all this and all that,
like I wanted that for you too.
Like you just walk out and it'sjust different, bro.
It's like going to the the umyou go to the airport and it's
normal, super normal.
You give them your ID, like,wait, aren't you that guy that
the flight is just better now?
SPEAKER_03 (11:52):
Okay, I guess.
You know, yeah.
No, but I like it to experienceit for you.
Like, yeah, yeah.
Like I'm I'm halfway out of it.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, yeah.
I'm just the guy, and you know,I enjoy seeing it.
Yeah, but yeah, yeah.
But that can be a a a level ofoverwhelm, like how I feel.
I don't know if that's how youfeel, but like it can be a
(12:14):
little overwhelming at times.
It can because they have anexpectation of you.
SPEAKER_00 (12:19):
When I'm in, when I'm in, for instance, when I
went to um Atlanta Homecoming,like when all of the all of the
calls, the HBCUs, they're liketogether at the same time, that
was the most overwhelming stuffever.
(12:40):
I I will always remember that.
Like when I'm in, or when I evenlived in Atlanta, it was very
overwhelming.
There were times where, excuseme, there were times where I
didn't even want to go to Linuxanymore.
I didn't want to go to the mallanymore.
If I went to the food court andI'm hungry and I gotta stand in
line, like somebody gonnarecognize me, and that's weird.
(13:01):
I'm standing in line and like Ican't get away.
Um yeah, if I if I if I if I'mat the gas station, that's just
not like the best place for meto get recognized.
That's just I don't like that.
One time a dude uh knocked onthe window and it was me and
Lloyd in the car.
He's like, bro, I love you.
I didn't know what was about tohappen, you know.
He knocked in your car window.
(13:22):
Yeah, yeah.
We was driving, I don't knowwhere we was driving to.
We was in a we was in a U-Haul,and um, yeah, he just knocked on
the window.
I I didn't know what that wasabout, but that's what I'm
saying.
Sometimes it's like uh it's it'sjust time and time and a place
for certain things.
And again, some people arenaturally awkward, they don't
(13:43):
know what to say to you whenthey see you, and it could just
feel it could feel weird, itfeels like somebody staring at
you.
SPEAKER_03 (13:51):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (13:52):
Yeah, it's not like the the best feeling.
SPEAKER_03 (13:54):
Yeah, I got you.
SPEAKER_00 (13:55):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I remember one time I was at akickback and somebody went like
this.
Like they took a picture of me.
Yeah, okay.
While they were talking tosomebody, like, yeah, he did a
thing.
And I'm just like, I just Ifucking saw you, dude.
You on the other side of thetable.
SPEAKER_03 (14:13):
Yeah, right, right, right.
SPEAKER_00 (14:15):
So it, you know.
SPEAKER_03 (14:17):
Is that is that somewhat frustrating, or are you
like, I understand you wanna youunderstand.
SPEAKER_00 (14:22):
I got you, but it's just like I don't I don't know
if I fuck with you.
SPEAKER_03 (14:27):
Yeah, yeah.
I think it's an element of, hey,I'm too cool to do the thing I
want to do and ask for apicture.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (14:34):
That or just say, hey, you the dude, or yeah,
yeah, whatever.
But again, like I don't knowwhat it's like to I've been in
this stuff for so long that Idon't know what that's really
like anymore.
To to see somebody, you know, megoing to LA and then rubbing
shoulders with people way higherthan me.
You see these people, you'relike, oh damn, it's just people
(14:55):
for real.
Like you have to be super duperI I don't know, I don't even
know who you have to be to makeme feel that way.
But I've been in it for so long,I don't even know what that is
to to see somebody you follow orwhatever, and you think you're
never gonna run into thisperson, and then all of a sudden
(15:17):
they're in 3D, like right infront of you.
So it's a it's very it's verydelightful.
I'm super appreciative of thepeople just saying something.
You know, it does make me feelsuper good.
I'm like, damn, I gotta um Idon't know, it's kind of like a
battery in your back when youhear that, and then you you you
(15:40):
just see that your work is justappreciated, and it's like
really appreciated.
It wasn't just like oh you'refunny, like, no, hey bro, like
you're you.
Right.
SPEAKER_03 (15:50):
So um I feel like your reach is further than the
600,000 or 500,000.
It's gotta be, you know what Imean?
Yeah, it's gotta be.
SPEAKER_00 (15:57):
At this point, a lot of people have seen my face.
So I could have been repostedagain.
I could be on somebody's uhstory.
There are many, many, many womenwho will post me on their story
but won't follow me.
And there's a lot of guys thatfollow women.
(16:18):
So, like, you see what I'msaying?
My face is out there.
They might not rec they mightnot know my name and stuff,
which was why, like, when dudesaid something, I was I was just
gonna follow him.
I kind of expect them to eitherfollow me or not follow me, but
you know my face, more so thanyou're actually following me.
SPEAKER_03 (16:36):
Because do any of them say your name?
SPEAKER_00 (16:41):
Uh that that that maybe like a quarter of the
time.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, maybe a quarter of thetime that they'll actually say
that.
But usually it's like waiting onme to say what my name is.
But like they know that I'm theguy that hops in the videos.
SPEAKER_03 (16:59):
And yeah, okay.
Okay, I got you.
No, but it was so it was cool,no, it and it's cool to
experience that.
But I was like, yeah, the blackyour black audience compared to
white, because I don't see muchof any white person in there.
I don't even remember a whiteperson.
Yeah, it's it's it's crazy, justthe cultures, like how how far
apart they are.
It's completely far apart.
SPEAKER_00 (17:19):
Yeah, right, right.
I don't remember once gettingrecognized by like a actual
white person who's not like fromthe the black community, you
know what I'm saying?
SPEAKER_03 (17:31):
Right.
I guess maybe a keen batch maycross over a little bit, yeah,
yeah, or something along thoselines.
No, LA people, yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (17:38):
Yeah, me very, very few far before.
Yeah, I I don't remember thatnot one time.
But I also literallyintentionally zone in on black
content specifically.
So that's just gonna keepgrowing.
SPEAKER_03 (17:57):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (17:57):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (17:58):
But uh so yeah, so keep in mind the dude that
recognized you gave us thesethese passes tickets to the
strip club, yeah, and I'm like,we got time.
You know, yeah, yeah, we gottime today.
We're going today.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Let's let's see what it'stalking about.
So we get to the strip club.
(18:18):
When I say the slowestexperience I've ever been.
And I've been to maybe five orsix, seven, maybe strip clubs at
the at the most.
Right.
In Nashville?
Or just in general?
Yeah, I've been to that onebefore.
Oh.
And it wasn't that bad then.
Uh-huh.
And then I've like maybe threeor four strip clubs in Atlanta.
(18:41):
Oh, I'm gonna lean on two,three.
And then I maybe went to one ortwo in Florida.
So yeah, so about six, maybe.
Um, if I'm doing rough now.
SPEAKER_00 (18:52):
I mean in Atlanta.
Folly's in Blue Flame.
SPEAKER_03 (18:56):
Yeah, yeah.
So, but you know, that wasthere's so many years apart.
I'd rarely go.
But uh, but yeah, so I was like,we're going, you know.
Yeah, get there.
When I say the laziestperformance I've ever seen in my
life, like if it was show at thepolo, we booing you.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
Like, like it was so bad.
The money that was thrown, Iwanted to like slap their hand
(19:18):
away.
Like you they don't deserve it.
SPEAKER_00 (19:20):
Yeah, they were thrown, they uh a little bit,
yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (19:23):
But what made it the experience fun was the people
watching.
What you mean?
Like, you was like, bruh, he isa serial killer.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
You point to people out, like,yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (19:34):
It was literally, yeah, that it was it was
chilling there, laughing withyou, and just like looking at
everything.
By then, you know, it was theend of the night, so it was like
we turned.
It's just we just having fun atabout anything at this point.
And they had them girls inrotation every 15 minutes.
SPEAKER_03 (19:53):
It was three of them.
Exactly.
And they couldn't strip to savetheir damn lives.
Yeah, you know what I mean?
Like, like it was lazily, likeone person was okay on the pole,
uh, but none of them couldreally twerk.
They're always doing likeclapping the heels, you know,
trying to shake their legs alittle bit.
Yeah.
I was like, how do you get thisback?
(20:14):
You know what I mean?
If this is this what Nashvillehas to offer?
Like, I felt bad for my city.
SPEAKER_00 (20:18):
Uh I I'm pretty sure there are there are other ones.
There's gotta be bigger oneshere, right?
SPEAKER_03 (20:22):
Well, there's only another one.
Oh, okay, okay, okay.
Because surprisingly, there'sanother one that got closed, uh,
Crazy Horse, because it wasworse than that one, apparently.
Damn.
Yeah.
How small could you really get,right?
Uh yeah, nobody was in theretoo.
At that strip club, it wasThursday.
Yes.
I I would think a Thursday wouldbe.
I would think a Thursday too.
(20:43):
Kind of pop.
But yeah, I just wanted to put alittle bit more grace on it.
Yeah.
And and not only that, it'sBYOB.
Yeah, that was new.
So, yeah, yeah.
That's like a law in Nashville,Tennessee.
Is that a strip club that youthat they can't sell liquor at
the strip club?
SPEAKER_00 (20:59):
Really?
Yeah.
Oh, okay.
Yeah.
Oh, I didn't even think about itlike that.
Or maybe you did tell me, but II didn't.
Yeah, I yeah, the BYOB, you youyeah.
We were just drinking.
I'm like, that's new.
SPEAKER_03 (21:12):
So you can really turn up at the strip club
because you're not spendingthose prices.
Oh.
Like we had like a a case ofTrulies or whatever, yeah, and
we was drinking them joints, andyou can really get lit real
quick, throw money, you know,and not spend a lot.
Uh-huh.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, yeah.
So it should really be packedjust based off the law.
(21:33):
Yeah.
Because you know, you can go,you know, supposed to see
beautiful girls.
Our hostesses were lit trash.
They were old.
Like, I was like, bruh, it'slike, this ain't it.
You know what I mean?
Like, like, yeah, this feelslike, you know what I mean?
Like, we should be out in theboonies with this.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Like, this is something that,yeah, hey, you know, you in
(21:53):
Shelbyville and you and you gohere, and it's like, all right,
this is what Shelbyville's gottaoffer.
Nashville is a city, yeah, it'sa metropolitan fact.
There should be a more variety.
Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (22:07):
Yeah, I thought it would be more.
Um, yeah, I thought I thought itwould be.
I mean, hey, it was not it was II can't I can't even fully say
that I didn't have a greatexperience because everything
else was just perfect.
SPEAKER_03 (22:24):
Yeah, no, it was a great night.
I think it was just funny howbad it was.
It's like it was like one ofthose movies that are so bad as
good.
Yeah, you know what I mean?
Like look at him over there.
Look at her.
Like you, you're you're like,like one of the like Tubi movies
to where they shooting and theydo it and she they dodging the
bullets, yeah, you know what Imean or get punched, and it's
(22:46):
like so bad it's funny.
Yeah, you know what I mean?
Yeah, so it was like a Tubimovie for real.
Yeah, and so it was enjoyable towatch, but like, but we didn't
come there for like expectationto have like oh I'm here for the
strippers.
SPEAKER_00 (23:00):
We're just going to do said it too.
He was like, it's all right, butlike he was like, it's decent.
He he told the truth before wewent.
Oh, okay.
He oh you told okay.
Yeah, dude who gave us thetickets, he definitely was like,
uh he changed his voice andeverything.
Yeah, yeah, like bro.
Don't expect to have a good timefor real.
SPEAKER_03 (23:17):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Um, but yeah, so so when wewent, it wasn't like
expectation, like, hey, we'regonna have so much fun.
It was like, hey, let's just godo this experience.
Right.
So, you know, it wasn'tdisappointing.
Well, I'm lying, it wasdisappointing for the the expect
like taste of a strip clubexactly in Nashville.
(23:38):
Exactly, yeah, yeah.
But at the same time, it was agood time because we still
enjoyed ourselves.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (23:43):
No, it was that was a great night.
That was fun.
That was definitely fun.
unknown (23:46):
I fucked with it.
SPEAKER_03 (23:47):
Yeah, yeah, no, that was cool.
But so, you know, when you're atthe strip club, it you know, um
you typically you see like morevariety.
Like it was just like one blackgirl, the rest of them white,
but it wasn't like a heavyrotation anyway.
But you know, but if you gosomewhere else, like maybe New
York, you will get actualdiverse people.
But um that and driving for theweekend, um, because I met this
(24:12):
one lady, she was Colombian, andthen it was like, you know, her
friends were like kind of eggingher on, like, hey, she's single,
yada yada.
Oh, okay.
She had this heavy accent.
Uh-uh.
Like, and she was cute, but youknow what I mean.
I I I look at situations likethat and I go further and be
like, could I marry somebodywith this thick accent?
(24:34):
Yeah, and so I'm gonna proposethat question to you.
Uh-huh.
Do you feel like you can marrysomebody with the accent, French
accent, um Spanish accent?
SPEAKER_00 (24:47):
I think so.
Okay, I think so.
Yeah, like I I'm thinking aboutit.
Um one of my homies had agirlfriend and she was from
London.
I thought that was kind of cool.
SPEAKER_03 (25:03):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (25:03):
Yeah, that's it was definitely thick.
She was definitely from London.
Okay.
Or the UK or whatever.
SPEAKER_03 (25:08):
So I'm saying thick accent to where you have to ask,
what did you say?
Uh-huh.
Type it thick.
SPEAKER_00 (25:14):
You know, if uh if the the the the wifey qualities
are up enough, I'm willing tolearn.
Oh yeah, I got you.
SPEAKER_03 (25:21):
I'm willing to, you know.
Because yeah, a London accentaccent, English is their first
language.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
But for others, that's you know,English can be their second or
third language.
You know what I mean?
And this is clearly, she'sColombian, she's this is her
second language for sure.
She knows the words, they justare thick.
(25:41):
So the her Spanish where youroll the tongue and all that
stuff still kind of applies whenpronouncing things.
SPEAKER_00 (25:48):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
No, I think I could.
I think I could.
Um, yeah, all that other stuff.
Uh uh one of my exes, she wasPuerto Rican.
First of all, she didn't evenknow Spanish.
But um I was willing to learnjust the off the strength, like
you know, to shit, chill andtalk to her family and and stuff
(26:11):
like that.
SPEAKER_03 (26:11):
I'm not talking to her mom, her mom's mom's from
New York, she exactly talks likethis.
Yeah, exactly.
So that's that's I'm sayingsomebody who has a second
language to where No, I know, Iknow.
SPEAKER_00 (26:23):
I'm just saying, like it I thought in the
beginning that that's what I wasgetting myself into, and I was I
was willing to like learn.
SPEAKER_02 (26:34):
Okay.
SPEAKER_03 (26:34):
Yeah.
Yeah, I see I see what you'resaying, that you're coming in,
but when you're actuallyexperiencing it is another thing
because that that's somewhathard for I don't want to say get
over, but it it's hard for me totake it serious when you know we
is that language barrier.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (26:52):
You know, I mean it's is is that weird to say or
uh the the way you explain it,it seems like it's not
necessarily a language barrier,it's just like you getting used
to their voice their accent.
Okay.
So like they are they they'retalking in Spanglish or
whatever, but after a while, youknow, you'll eventually uh learn
(27:16):
that.
My um homie Lloyd, his dad isfrom New Orleans and that shit
deep as hell.
And I had to learn it.
Like I had to literally, Ididn't know what he was saying
when he just came from um NewOrleans, from Katrina, fresh,
fresh out of Katrina.
(27:37):
And that's when their accent wasthe thickest.
And I didn't know what this manwas saying.
My family still don't be knowingwhat he be saying, but I've
deciphered it now.
Like I I know exactly what he'stalking about and the jokes that
he's saying.
So yeah, I think it's just time,time that you have with people.
People do that to me.
Yeah, like people, well, I mean,I I don't speak a different
(27:59):
language, but when I get supercomfortable and like we're on a
podcast now, but like if I my myum, I don't know, I I go to I
talk on the phone to a bunch ofhomies or something, and I'm
fresh off of that, my accent isprobably thicker.
And I've been on a coupleconversations where they were
like, wait, huh, what you what'dyou say?
(28:19):
Uh what what what'd you say?
And then eventually they theythey can hear what I'm saying.
So mine's not like a Colombianaccent, but still.
It was so thick that youcouldn't really understand what
she was saying.
SPEAKER_03 (28:32):
Yeah, um, I can understand what she's saying,
but you know, this one of themoments you gotta turn the radio
all the way down.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
And um, it's like okay, and Ihad to lean in.
Yeah.
To kind of get it.
And sh she was shy and all thatstuff, so that all that didn't
help.
Because her family was like, shelives at home by herself.
Like, like, yeah.
(28:53):
Like, well, because there, Imean, okay, they said something
along that, like, she has herhouse that lives alone.
So she pretty much said that,like, she lives alone.
Uh-huh.
But she's from Jersey orwhatever.
So, um, and I guess I'm sayingthat to say on a side note, is
that when English is not itbecause it reminds me of a
(29:14):
situation.
If English is not somebody'sfirst language, they're saying
the words that they know, andthey don't necessarily know how
it comes off.
Because when I sold insurance,it was this African guy who, you
know, they'll be like, What?
You know what I mean?
It sounds harsh, but those arethe words that they don't.
They don't know that it comesoff very aggressive.
(29:35):
Oh, yeah.
So, yeah, so he may be loud andyelling.
He may, but then at the end ofthe conversation, okay.
You know what I mean?
Like, like the experience soundsvery abrasive, uh huh, but
that's just how he is.
You know what I mean?
And yeah, so they're usingthey're limited on the words
that they use, so it may soundcrazy.
Like, dang, you putting that onblast.
(29:56):
But those are like, hey, I don'tknow how to say this another
way.
Mm-hmm.
Because I only know the words.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
Yeah.
And and this may not necessarilyapply for her, but there's
pretty much hey, because they'respeaking in Spanish.
So obviously I don't know whatthey're saying.
Yeah.
So they could have a I assumethat because I do have energy.
You know what I mean?
(30:16):
So I can see how she looks at meand then they're they're going
back and forth.
And then she'll say a thing.
Like, are you are you married?
Like she'll speak in Spanish.
And they'll be like, Justin, areyou married?
Yeah.
You know, I was like, okay, thatwhole conversation was about me.
I don't know what they said, butyeah, it was about clearly.
Yeah.
You know, yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (30:35):
So I'll be willing to learn.
Yeah.
I think um, I don't know.
It just depends on who you with.
It all depends on who you with.
But yeah, I I I would definitelyum uh depending on how that
situation is for sure.
Yeah, if I'm being treated superright, yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (30:56):
Well you you don't know until you you just not like
it's a arranged marriage, youknow what I mean?
You gotta build up to beingtreated super right.
Right.
So it's like, hey, you becausein normal circumstances, I know
you probably had differentexperience, but in normal
circumstances, you get to meetthat person wherever y'all met,
then you have that first date,and then you know, you build up
(31:18):
after that.
Treating you right really onlycomes in in the in the uh you
know, y'all leading up to beingtogether.
Yeah.
So so yeah, but so but you gottaget date one, date two in before
you get to that point anyway, inmost cases.
SPEAKER_00 (31:35):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
That reminded me of um, yeah,like I said, I think it just
depends on who you're with, butthat reminded me of a girl I I
once knew, and she was fromJamaica and it's super thick um
accent.
Super, but like she would dumbit down for me while speaking to
(32:00):
me.
So I guess it kind of doesn't gowith what you're saying, but I
do remember somebody elserealizing that if she was just
speaking straight patois, then Igotta keep asking questions to
keep up and all this.
So she would rather do her bestproper voice to have a
(32:22):
conversation with me.
SPEAKER_03 (32:23):
Yeah, yeah, and yeah, I I understood.
Yeah, it definitely helped.
SPEAKER_00 (32:27):
So but I wanted to learn, right?
Right.
SPEAKER_03 (32:30):
Yeah, I want to speak that shit too.
It's so what you said it got meon another path.
Do you have things that you wantto put out before I just start
going on you know differentstuff?
I mean, we're flowing.
Okay, okay.
I just didn't want to hold youup.
Uh, but yeah, so um when you youyou mentioned something about
treating you right, yeah.
So it just sparked my mind.
Have you got flowers for a datebefore?
(32:51):
Have you uh not received flowerson a date?
On an actual date?
Yeah, like a girl presented youwith flowers.
SPEAKER_00 (33:00):
Um it wasn't a date, but I got flowers.
SPEAKER_03 (33:05):
What was it?
What was it?
SPEAKER_00 (33:07):
Uh I think I told you, um, it was twice from the
same.
Oh, it was only one girl thatdid this.
But um, yeah, I saw her for thefirst time before she was my
girlfriend.
Saw her for the first timebefore she was my girlfriend,
and then I searched the wholeairport when I landed for a rose
(33:28):
for her, and then I got in hercar and she had a rose for me.
That was that was that shit waslike, whoa.
Okay.
Yeah, I was I was definitelytaken aback.
And that same girl sent meflowers to where I lived with um
chocolate covered strawberriesand shit.
That shit was crazy.
(33:49):
That was the first time I everso how how did you how was it
feeling?
SPEAKER_03 (33:52):
Because I've never had that and felt like floating.
SPEAKER_00 (33:56):
Okay.
Okay.
She said, she said, um, well,when I got in the car, you know,
I don't know.
I I I feel like in terms of coin terms of courting each other,
um, and showing each other that,you know, how much you you you
(34:17):
you feel about each other.
I have not seen too much of theother side.
So usually as like I said, uh, Ifeel like I failed if I see this
girl who I'm talking to and Ipull up and I ain't got a rose
for.
You know, I feel like, damn,like that was that was the like
(34:38):
a first impression of meetingyou, and like I really wanted to
show you that I actually likeyou, and you know, and I don't
even expect that stuff.
So whenever that happens to me,I'm just like super taken aback.
Like it feels, I don't know,bro.
(34:58):
It feels like it automaticallybecause I never get stuff like
that, it automatically feelslike I owe you or something.
Yeah.
So, and then I remember when Iwas talking to that same girl,
and she um she said, she said,oh my god, they sent it to the
(35:18):
wrong address.
And then I was like, What whatwhat you mean?
She's like, they sent it to thewrong address.
Oh my god.
And then I was like, what?
And I opened the door, and itwas this big red box.
And then I was like, oh, what'sthis?
She was like, oh wait, it'ssent?
And she ruined the whole thingfor me.
(35:40):
But um, and I opened up that, Ididn't know what was in that
box.
I thought I I I I didn't knowwhat was in that box, but I
opened it up and like I said, itwas just it was flat a bouquet.
Then my video stopped.
Oh, for real?
SPEAKER_01 (35:55):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (35:56):
Uh is it uh nah, I started it again.
Oh, okay.
Um I'm gonna just clap just incase.
Okay.
Yeah.
Okay.
I'll figure I'll I'll figure itout.
I don't even think aboutthinking about that.
But um yeah, but when I wentoutside and I saw that, damn,
like I was I was just like it itit it made me sit down.
(36:19):
I was just like, this happens?
You know, so I think womenshould definitely do that.
I mean, I'm all for being agentleman and giving a woman a
rose and all that, but I don'tthink it's talked about for real
how it feels on the other end.
Even if it's not a rose, it'sjust like a gesture of I I
(36:40):
really like you, or you know,especially if y'all are both on
the same page.
It feels like it feels more likeyou're it feels more like you're
on the same page versus let mekeep showing this girl something
or keep brightening this girl'sday, and then you literally,
(37:01):
yeah, whether you a nigga thatlike flowers or not, you can see
the effort of her trying to makeyour day better.
And that that felt that feltamazing.
SPEAKER_03 (37:11):
Yeah, so um the what you felt like you're like, hey,
I owe you.
That's like that's what's calledthe law of reciprocity.
Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
It's like when somebody doessomething for you, you feel the
need to do something for themback.
Yeah.
Um, so that's kind of from whatI'm gauging from what you're
saying.
SPEAKER_00 (37:29):
I think I always feel like that for the most
part.
Just because it's so rare.
It's like so rare.
And I'm talking about littlestuff.
I'm not talking about like datesand things like that, which is
still fine.
You know, if a girl's like, no,I want to take you out or
da-da-da, that's cool, but Idon't know.
Um I'm talking about littlestuff.
(37:51):
Okay, I got you.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Not like, you know, you've beenwith your girl for a year, and
then she's like, I want to takeyou out now.
Oh.
You know, not like that.
I'm saying, uh, which isdefinitely still appreciated.
SPEAKER_03 (38:03):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (38:04):
But um, nah, that that that initial shit and and
them showing you that, I'llalways probably feel like, oh
damn, I think I owe hersomething.
Because I I'm just not used toit.
I'm not used to getting things.
SPEAKER_03 (38:21):
Right, yeah.
And I think that's like um whenI was talking to this one girl,
it was something simple.
She had went to Myrtle Beach,but she has sold my name on
like, you know, they'll have itlike say a name tag with your
name on it, but this one hadlike had a bottle of sand or
something, and it had it had myname attached, and she's like,
hey, I I got you something, youknow, like like she tried to
play it off nonchalantly, but Iwas like, this is actually cool.
(38:45):
Yeah, you know, I'm glad this isyou thought of me while you was
on the trip, you know.
So that I appreciate it, eventhough it's like a thing that's
like insignificant, it stillfelt good to have that because
you you're thinking about mewhile you're somewhere else.
Yeah.
Um, so that's what it's kind ofsounds a little bit to me, like
what was kind of happening.
Um, but too, like those um thoseuh roses and those chocolates
(39:10):
and things like that along thoselines.
What I'm gonna probably startdoing is, and what I've really
never done, is starting to writeletters.
Uh-huh.
To I I've never done it, haveyou?
Like, where I I've never doneit.
SPEAKER_00 (39:24):
Try to make them cry every time.
SPEAKER_03 (39:26):
Okay.
For me, like I'm gonna I feellike I should do it in a lot
more instances than just theromantic thing, you know.
Uh writing a little bit.
I'm just thinking about youknow, past relationship.
There's you can't, and I'm gonnacompletely remove the romantic
and actually talk about like anissue that we're having we're
(39:46):
having in a relationship.
Uh-huh.
You can't come back at me in theletter.
You know, you know what I mean?
Yeah.
You could you just gotta readthe letter for what it is and
how I feel.
You sure it's the best way.
SPEAKER_00 (39:59):
It sounds negative.
SPEAKER_03 (40:00):
No, well, I'm saying that is that what happens when I
confront you, because typicallyhow it is, is like, hey, I have
an issue that I want to solve.
Yeah.
And then it's it's now we'regoing back and forth, and you're
not truly hearing me.
Uh-huh-uh.
But in a letter, you're gettingexactly how I'm feel without you
having the ability to uh respondback at that moment.
(40:26):
You just gotta take everythingthat I say.
Because then there's gonna bepoints that I miss, there's
gonna be things I'm forgettingback, and now I'm responding to
something that's probably noteven, you know, that you know,
you threw a curveball that'slike, hey, you said this, but
what about this thing?
It's like brother, I thought wetackled this four months ago.
Uh-huh.
So now it's no longer about whatthe issue I had.
(40:47):
Now you're just coming back atme to to create an argument.
SPEAKER_00 (40:51):
I think I think you're still gonna get that.
I feel like you're gonna get acall from her and be like, Of
course, of course.
SPEAKER_03 (40:57):
I mean, the plan is to get a discussion out of it,
but you're getting all of the ofhow I feel about the issue
before you can respond.
Because typically when I'm andand when there's an issue
arises, there's a there's gonnabe a lot of going back and
forth, and there's there's noresolution.
SPEAKER_00 (41:18):
I I think I think it depends on who you're with.
SPEAKER_03 (41:21):
I mean, I think I don't think everybody's like
that.
Yeah, but there's a lot of thathappening in relationships.
I mean, yeah.
I I don't mean uh that's I'venever seen it to where that's
not been the case.
Now, is that gonna be everysingle case, every single time?
Hopefully not.
But there's gonna be plenty oftimes to where you may have an
issue and then y'all are justbad at each other at that point,
(41:44):
yeah.
And so you're feeling like, whatwas the point of me ever?
I shouldn't have even brought itup because now we're in a worse
place.
SPEAKER_00 (41:51):
I th there was one time I was uh with someone and
we went to the park and we werereally just trying to figure us
out and got the notepad out.
And this is this is just themost um this instance is just uh
very similar to what you'resaying.
It's not exactly the same.
(42:12):
But I do remember doing that,and I wrote down things that I
needed, and then she wrote downthings that she needed, and then
she gave that to me, and then Igave that to her, and then we
talked about it or whatever.
Um it worked, it didn't work,but I I feel like it was just
(42:34):
because of who we were in thatmoment, you know, that that that
time frame.
SPEAKER_03 (42:40):
But we tried.
So y'all went to park andphysically wrote less.
Physically and then handed eachother.
And then what so when you readhers, how did you feel?
It was valid.
SPEAKER_00 (42:51):
Okay, you know, it was it was valid.
There were things on there,definitely, that um that that I
should have uh just thoughtabout more.
You know, I feel like everyonesometimes gets caught up in
what's going on in theirperspective versus zooming out
(43:14):
and realizing we're bothsupposed to tackle like this one
problem versus like I got anissue when you got an issue.
Um so I I think that that was onboth sides of that relationship.
So uh, but all I was just sayingwas, you know, I I mean I guess
I am a part of a certain amountof people who kind of did
something like that.
(43:35):
Um but it was it was a cooleffort though.
It was a cool effort of ussitting down.
We we both thought, you know, wewere trying, but eventually it
just kind of um it it didn'twork out for the best, but you
know, there was there was effortthere.
SPEAKER_03 (43:50):
Okay, so did y'all break up immediately?
Like, yeah.
Well I'm saying that but so thateffort was only attempted one
time, it sounds like maybetwice.
Okay, maybe twice.
Okay, and you wouldn't recommenddoing that?
SPEAKER_00 (44:05):
I think I think it just depends on who you're with.
I I feel like what I'm saying isI don't want to be with somebody
where I I gotta think about umlike so many different ways to
communicate with this person,break it down, as in like I want
I want to be with someone who isvery in tune emotionally with
(44:31):
themselves.
SPEAKER_03 (44:32):
Okay.
SPEAKER_00 (44:33):
Uh I feel like if two people are like that, then
we can sit down and have aconversation, even if both of us
have an issue with each other.
But if we aren't if we aren'tcompatible in that area, then
it's millions of ways to quotetry to figure out uh conversing
(44:53):
through that issue.
SPEAKER_03 (44:54):
So what does in tune emotionally mean?
SPEAKER_00 (44:56):
Intune emotionally.
So like let's say if I'm talkingto somebody and if I'm talking
to somebody and they have anissue with me um saying their
name with aggression orsomething, I'm just like
throwing something out there,but I don't realize I'm doing
that.
(45:16):
So when I'm talking to them, I'mlike, hey, Justin, I've did it,
I don't even realize I'm doingit, but now that's making you
triggered.
So now you're probably gonnareact to that because I wasn't
in tune really emotionally oflike what I'm doing.
And that's what I mean on bothsides of the situation.
So both of us aren't umunderstanding each other in an
(45:40):
emotional sense, or even justlike as a friend, you know, then
you're gonna be trying forever.
Too many different ways oftrying to communicate therapy.
Let's sit down, let's look ateach other in the eyes, let's
write some shit down.
Let's I done did a whole bunchof shit trying to figure out how
to communicate sometimes.
Yeah, it just it depends on whoyou with for real.
SPEAKER_03 (46:02):
Yeah, and that that brings a little bit more clarity
to you know my past umsituations, um, just because
it'll be times to where it'slike I'm saying, like, hey, be
be respectful, be nice.
Yeah, you know, yeah, yeah, likeand I'm not saying that like you
can't be upset.
(46:23):
Those are going so it's to thatpoint to where you're talking
about like, hey, Justin, yeah,like if you was to do that, then
it's gonna get my attention realquick because that's not, and
then I'm like, what's what'sgoing on?
You get it?
You know, like, and it wouldn'tbe out of me receiving the
energy energy and be mad.
It was like, okay, that's notnormally who you are, so now I
(46:44):
gotta make sure I did something.
What did I do wrong?
You know, because not becausethere's an emphasis on why you
did that, you know what I mean?
SPEAKER_00 (46:51):
You see what I'm saying?
SPEAKER_03 (46:52):
If it's new, but like if people are kind of stuck
in what a edge over exactly, andthat's that's my point, is that
where that thing that you justdid, it's like, all right, this
is a pattern, this is a behaviorthat I'm seeing, and I'm like,
be cognizant of that because Idon't like that.
(47:12):
Not to say that I might I'm notreally upset that you're doing
that, but this is not this isnot a pattern I like to feel
feel like that you're constantlyhaving this aggression.
This is not what I want to seemy my wife be.
Right.
Yeah, I just be respectful, bekind.
It's easier to get things donethat way through me.
(47:34):
Yeah, so we when you say whenyou mention that, it just brings
more clarity because it's notjust one, this is just a a
pattern of aggression that I'mtrying to recognize that you're
doing and you're you'reessentially dismissing it.
Yeah.
And say, hey, you're tripping.
It's like I can see where I'mcoming from because I'm bringing
up and it seems like it's not,it's uh I'm making a small issue
(47:57):
bigger, but it's just a constantpattern of this thing to where
I'm like, hey, be kind, berespectful, because if I came to
you like that and constantly didthat, that would show me of who
I am.
And it's it doesn't fit, itdoesn't.
This is not traits of a kindperson.
You may feel kind inside, andmaybe you are, but these those
(48:18):
traits that you're showingaren't kind behavior.
Yeah, right.
You know, that ain't a personwho's happy.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, I that's what I saidbefore.
I think happy people do happythings, yeah.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So, like, it's and I didn't, youknow, sometimes I can say it and
(48:39):
it doesn't necessarily penetratethrough, but when you said that,
I was like, I maybe should haveemphasized that a little bit
more.
I felt like I did, but Iprobably didn't.
SPEAKER_00 (48:49):
Yeah, yeah.
So yeah, no, this it's it's Idon't know.
There's so many different waysof looking at it, and like you
gotta give people gracesometimes.
Like I I was I was with otherpeople that it's just super hard
to talk to.
Like to get them to I I wouldtry to talk about something
(49:11):
serious just so we could beokay, and then they're like,
Yeah, I'm I'm gonna leave.
I need some air, and it's justafter a while of that, now I'm
gonna get upset.
And then it's I'm gonna let youleave eventually.
Now we're fucked.
Because I I don't know, it'sjust work that needs to be well,
(49:31):
it's not even necessarily.
I mean, it is work, but what I'msaying more still is uh the fact
that we have to both understandlike who we are and be aware of
what we're being to each other.
Because if if not, it's thisshit just oh, we're gonna be
trying something else next week.
If we like really want to betogether because of the other
(49:52):
things of the relationship, andthen you just constantly try new
things, you read a new thing,and they say, Oh, we should talk
like this.
All right, let's try that.
We should do this, we should getum see a life coach, we should
and then you just trying allthese different things versus
it's really just y'all beingable to sit there and talk to
(50:13):
each other in a way that both ofy'all like to be talked to.
SPEAKER_03 (50:19):
Do you pride yourself on being real?
On being real?
Yeah.
Um uh what situation is?
Uh huh.
Let me I miss slightly misspoke.
Um, do you think you can bevulnerable on this podcast?
SPEAKER_00 (50:35):
On this podcast, uh, to an extent.
SPEAKER_03 (50:37):
Okay.
Is there a relationship?
I'm gonna ask a question, youcan just say yeah, yes or no.
Oh, yeah, I'll figure it out.
Okay.
I got you.
I'll figure it out.
Is there a relationship that youwish you could do over again?
SPEAKER_00 (50:50):
Mm-mm.
SPEAKER_03 (50:50):
Okay.
SPEAKER_00 (50:51):
No.
SPEAKER_03 (50:52):
Um and I'm not even saying like she was my
girlfriend.
I'm saying there was somebodythat you talked to that you
meant that you wish that youcould have either pushed, like
pushed more on, or you didsomething wrong, dismissed her.
Like Yes.
SPEAKER_00 (51:11):
Oh, yeah, okay.
Yes.
Okay.
Yeah.
No, for sure.
Yeah.
There, there, not that I wouldwant to now.
Um, but there are there are somesituations that I didn't like
how I handled.
And um, yeah, I I would want to.
(51:32):
It taught me a lot about theghosting thing.
You remember how I told you?
Just like I don't I don't likebe ghosting people anymore
unless it's like a mutual ghost,yeah, a mutual fade out of
conversation and stuff likethat.
But like just straight up nothitting them back and all that,
or like I'm gonna get to this ina different manner.
(51:54):
Um it just with the with thewith the right person, that shit
kind of backfires on you.
Like after they're gone, thenyou like, damn, I didn't have to
do that.
Cause now I'll probably nevertalk to them again.
Yeah.
So um that has happened before,where I ghost to somebody and
(52:20):
it's just stupid.
I should not have done that.
But um, I'll never hear fromthat girl again.
I'll never I'll never hear fromher ass again.
I done tried, I done tried, uhnot that, not again, just to
clarify, I'm not like theactively trying to get her or
anything.
You're right, right, right.
But there was a time frame whereI had ghosts of somebody, and
(52:40):
then I was like, ah, shouldn'thave done that.
Let me hit her up.
And then literally, it was justsomething simple as kind of
like, I don't like how you didthat or whatever, and we're
still friends, we're still cool.
And that was the last message Igot.
I I I figured.
Yeah, and I was like, damn, youwere cool.
You wasn't like no whatevernegative term you can think of.
(53:05):
You wasn't like nothing crazy.
You was you was cool, and that'swhy I don't yeah, I don't be
doing that no more.
Because I was like, you theythey would never talk to you
again for real.
Right.
If it's the right like person toeven have as a friend later on
in life, yeah, so that thatthat's happened with me.
What about you?
SPEAKER_03 (53:25):
Yeah, for sure.
Yeah, I how are we doing that?
Uh 53.
Okay, we need to wrap up here.
But uh yeah, so I would say forsure, because there were um now
that I'm getting older, one, Ihandled situations poorly, very
poor.
Uh-huh.
Um, and um so I have uhsituations that one, I wish I
(53:50):
would have handled them betterfor their sake.
Like, like, hey, she, you know,she was very one of was a girl
that was just like a naive girl,not to say there was there was
no future in that, but I couldhave uh communicated better.
But I was I was I was 20 yearsold, you know.
(54:10):
I'm like 20 21 years old, andI'm going in on her, and she
necessarily probably didn't needto receive it for that that way.
So I that I regret um situationsthat I would like to have back.
Um there one two people inparticular um that I would do
(54:30):
over with.
One would be communicating, andI should have gave her a chance
to respond instead of doing theghost sync technique uh because
I didn't feel comfortable withthe situation, and I'll shed a
little light on that.
Was like I and I maybe talkedabout a podcast, stop me if I
did.
I know you probably know.
Um, but it was a story where youknow we was hanging out, we had
(54:51):
uh came back from um a triptogether with a group of us, and
then we were hanging out, butapparently she may have been
talking to another guy, and hewas constantly blowing up the
phone, and then you know it gotto a point to where I was like,
hey, he's the this whoever'scalling you, you know, it sounds
like you need to answer thatbecause you know this is like
his 30th time, not even kidding.
It's back to back to back toback.
So, and then you know, she picksup the phone, she's like, You
(55:13):
ready to box or whatever?
And I'm like, No.
You know, I didn't say no, I waslike, it kind of is what it is,
you know.
I was like, but you need to talkto him because I was like, Does
he have a gun?
Possibly, like, all right, well,I'm dying for this.
You know what I mean?
So it after that, I kind of leftthat situation and never
responded back until later.
We're still cool now, but butnonetheless, I wish I would have
(55:34):
gave her a chance to respondfrom that because that, you
know, I've known her forever,and um it shouldn't have ended
like that.
But the one that I felt like umthat there was um a tr a truly
good person who was in our agewas a pretty effective
communicated communicator,intelligent.
(55:57):
This is back in college.
I can say her name, you know whoI'm talking about, um, for other
reasons.
And it was not knowing what Iknow now, childish of how I
handle it for the person thatshe was to me.
Uh-huh.
Like, because she true we wentback since high school, and she
truly was a good person and umum one of my friends.
(56:20):
And you know, we went further umbeyond that, and she really
liked me, and I liked her, butfor the the issue, I definitely
um like dang, if no one would Iknow that she would have been a
good wife, and she probably is agood wife to somebody.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So so that one I could none ofthese, I'm like, you know, like
(56:43):
mad that I didn't figure it out,but one that's like, you know
what?
I wonder what what another lifewould have looked like, you know
what I mean?
Yeah, yeah.
Because that one I wouldn't havebeen like, hey, she would have
been a good person to me, care,cared a lot, could do a lot of
things well.
And um, so to answer yourquestion, yes.
SPEAKER_00 (57:01):
Yeah, no, that that that is definitely uh uh I
thought that shit was inside.
Um but no, that that issomething.
SPEAKER_03 (57:10):
Um and and it's and I'll add on that there's like so
many people in the future thatcan also offer that too.
You know, like like the peoplethat I meet and talk to like are
really, you know, like becauseyou know, when driving Uber,
you're meeting a ton ofdifferent people, ton of
personalities, and there's justa lot of people who are
(57:31):
enjoyable to talk to.
Yeah, so you know, I think thatwhat's gonna be for us, because
you want to be married too,right?
Yeah at some point.
SPEAKER_00 (57:40):
Yeah, at some point, yeah, right, right.
SPEAKER_03 (57:42):
So so I think what is everything is meant to be is
supposed to be.
Yeah.
So it's just now everysituation, I think we just need
to make it intentional for us tolearn and grow.
No, no, facts.
Yeah, like hey, we need to makesure that we relook of how we
react to how we handle thesituations, how we could have
(58:04):
changed going forward and applythat to our next relationship.
Yeah.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (58:09):
No, yeah, everything is definitely um some type of
lesson in it.
That's that's kind of how I Ilook at it.
Like every I I think I told you,like every connection that I
have, it just seems something isum like like mirroring in a way
of of my personality or spiritor like something is there.
(58:34):
So I I do actively want to treatthem with um, you know, the same
respect that I would want.
Uh and not just do like wrong topeople.
Like that doesn't it don't besitting with me well um whenever
I have.
So yeah, yeah, I I think it'sjust an act of uh active uh
(58:58):
decision just to be better andthe relationships that you have
with people.
SPEAKER_03 (59:04):
Absolutely.
Yeah.
Well, I think this is a goodepisode.
Yeah, right at 59.
Uh absolutely.
Well, this is two for theculture, and we'll be back.
Yes, sir.
Yes, sir.
And we are back with another episode of Two for the
Culture.
I'm Justin Devante.
Stephen Ray.
And we are back.
I feel like we got a great showlined up tonight.
I think it's going to beexciting.
It's going to be fun.
I got some things I want to talkabout.
Okay.
Different experiences.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (00:20):
Can can you hear me?
You can hear me good?
SPEAKER_03 (00:22):
Yeah, I can hear you good.
Yeah, yeah.
But yeah.
How you feeling?
I feel good, man.
I got you.
SPEAKER_00 (00:30):
What did you do?
Yeah.
But I like I said, um, beforethe podcast, I made some bell
peppers.
And after I cut those onions, Idon't know what happened, but
it's it's like it's stuck in mynose or something.
SPEAKER_03 (00:40):
Like maybe clearing some science, you know.
SPEAKER_00 (00:42):
Maybe clearing some.
Yeah, I got you.
Maybe all the cheese that was init.
Some I don't know.
SPEAKER_03 (00:47):
I guess you want to uh you want to start with our
experience, getting out a littlebit uh last week, I guess, since
it's Monday.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (00:54):
Uh yeah.
So yeah, last week we we wentout.
Uh where do we start?
Did we where did we start?
We went to like a coupledifferent areas.
SPEAKER_03 (01:05):
I feel like we went to a couple of different areas.
Well, we did for sure.
SPEAKER_00 (01:09):
But we really before brought oh you were charging a
car.
SPEAKER_03 (01:11):
Yeah, exactly.
Then we was walking andchilling, yeah, yeah, and just
like that in Justin fashion,parked next to the charging
station.
Didn't put the the the chargingin there.
So we were just walking andtalking, did didn't charge the
car at all.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, I just knew I was gonna beon 80%.
(01:32):
And I was like, oh damn.
But you know, I mean, it westill made a good night of it on
the limited charge we had justgetting out.
Um to Broadway.
Yeah, so we we started onBroadway.
Um did we go to two different uhwe went to Broadway, then we
went to either yeah, we went toBroadway for a little bit like a
(01:53):
bar.
I can't remember which bar wewas at.
Uh-huh.
And then we went to um Printer'sAlley.
Oh.
Because you remember the firstbar at Broadway was either like
I want to say posties orsomething like that.
It was posties because we hadthe uh you remember the pictures
of Post Malone all over theplace.
So we went there, we went to therooftop.
(02:16):
The drinks were hot super high.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, that was crazy.
Yeah, so we're like, yeah, weain't doing it.
I was like, let's just go toPrince Alley because those are
drinks are way more reasonable.
SPEAKER_00 (02:26):
Yeah, yeah.
No, I I I I think I just gotused to over here, and like the
drinks are not that much at all.
Um, and I didn't really realizethat until we went on Broadway.
And I was just like, this placedon't even look like it it looks
cool, but it didn't look likethe amount of um the the the
(02:48):
drinks.
Usually when the drinks arehigh, it's like a nice, you
know, elegant thing.
But you've been clearly inNashville longer than I have.
Yeah, I I just equate that tocertain things.
But um it was still fun.
It was still fun.
SPEAKER_03 (03:03):
And uh then we went to uh we went to uh Miss
Kelly's, which you know I f Ifrequent there, so you know it's
yeah, so it's just an easy get adrink and kind of get out if you
want to play listen to karaoke,cool, you know, they got a
little bit of pool, so but it'sreally just yeah, I kind of get
a couple drinks in withoutreally paying Barway Pisces,
(03:24):
right?
SPEAKER_00 (03:25):
Yeah, and I got recognized like twice.
SPEAKER_03 (03:27):
Yeah, so we went back to Broadway at that point.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, yeah.
So we went back to Broadwayafter after we got a couple
drinks, and then we went toHonky Tonk Central, and that's
when you got recognized, like wewas at the bar kind of chilling,
and then that's when you knowone guy came come up to you how
was that experience?
SPEAKER_00 (03:47):
Uh what'd he say?
It was it was um it's it's it'sit's just so funny.
It's like when it happens, and Ican tell they really watch my
stuff, like for real, it's likethis face, like they're so happy
to see me.
Like it's just like surprise,like I just came back from the
(04:07):
army or something.
It's like, oh, and then andthese are grown men that we're
talking about.
Yeah, yeah.
I'm just saying, like our age orwhatever.
SPEAKER_03 (04:17):
Well, they're probably a little younger.
Oh, for real?
Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (04:19):
Well, um, nah, that that that was that was funny.
Yeah, uh, it was this dude atthe food truck, and I thought he
was I thought he was about tolike try to sell me a CD or
something until after he wasdone talking to me and he just
got back in line.
I was like, oh, okay.
I thought he worked there.
And um then the second dude, thesecond dude, yeah, that was
funny.
He was like super excited.
(04:40):
And he just started talking toyou out of nowhere, just like
yeah, developing a conversation,and then he gave us the free
tickets to the script club.
SPEAKER_03 (04:47):
Yeah, yeah.
It it and yeah, before we eventalk about that experience,
which is hilarious.
Uh, but even to that point, youknow, and then I started to
think about it, you know,because you know, you know, I
know I known you since college.
So, you know, I didn't, youknow, I didn't my ex-girlfriend,
(05:08):
uh, you met her before you metme.
SPEAKER_00 (05:11):
Uh yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (05:12):
Yeah, yeah.
So yeah, yeah.
So uh because I was cool withTate, right?
But when so she had mentioned,like, hey, you did the videos
and she started going down therabbit hole and stuff.
Uh-uh.
Yeah, yeah.
So I'm like, you know, like notthat it's I don't want to say
insecure, but me like, man, getthis nigga out of here.
You know what I mean?
(05:32):
Like, like, like it's alreadylike put my bad taste in my
mouth.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, yeah.
So yeah, yeah.
So uh, but I'm saying all thatto where um like so I was like,
I don't care for that, you know.
So, but you know, I met you, wewas like super cool, of course,
a stronger bond since then.
(05:53):
Um, but I'm saying all that tosay is that I don't see what
they pe other people see.
You know what I mean?
Like, yeah, because you're justmy homeboy, you know what I
mean?
That that do you know do thevideos and it's super popular.
Uh-huh.
But then I thought to thinkabout it, you know, some of the
people that I see on Instagram,not that I know their names, but
I see a lot of you know, seetheir faces all the time, and I
(06:16):
find their videos hilarious.
I'm like, I can see where thatexcitement may come from.
Uh-huh.
It's like, hey, I've seen somuch of your stuff, yeah, that
you know, like to see you inperson is crazy.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And so that's like super dopefor them.
Yeah.
You know, like a really goodexperience.
And I was like, I I kind of getit now.
Uh-huh.
Yeah, yeah.
(06:36):
Of the excitement and where itcomes from.
Yeah.
And so it's like it makes itmakes it feel good that some
that people feel that way aboutthe content that you put out.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
How does that how do you feelabout that?
Like people are excited to seeyou.
SPEAKER_00 (06:51):
Yeah, that's that they love the work that you do.
Yeah, that was dope.
Like both of them.
And then I didn't tell you, butum I was at the liquor store, I
think like earlier that day orsomething something to get a
bottle for the weekend.
And it was a new guy at the thethe liquor store.
Well, I ain't never seen himbefore, but um, and he just
(07:13):
turned around and it was justlike no.
And I, you know, I knew he said,bro, I recognize you.
And I always like kind of playit down a little bit just
because it was two times oneperson thought I was like
somebody that either played ballor something, and there was
(07:36):
another time where there wasanother guy who was
light-skinned, and he used to dogreen screens.
Okay.
So like I never want to leanfully into it.
Yeah, yeah.
And then just be embarrassedmyself.
Yeah, yeah.
So I always just like kind oflike dumb it down until they
tell me like they actually knowme for real.
Yeah, I got you.
So uh, but when they do, uh Ihaven't, I haven't, you know,
(08:00):
like it's it's I haven't beenaround a lot of black people
here in Nashville.
So it's very few or far inbetween, and and most of those
times it was with you, sowherever we went.
But um, yeah, I haven't gottenrecognized like that in a
minute.
Uh mainly because we're like inNashville.
If this was like the south orwhere it's like I mean, or or or
(08:21):
different areas, yeah, yeah,then I would get recognized
more.
But um, I haven't gotten that ina minute, and it was just I was
like, damn, these folks reallylike these videos.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, they were like reallyhappy.
Yeah, yeah.
They stopped everything theywere doing that night.
SPEAKER_03 (08:37):
Because I can only imagine just like in another
form, if say if I was a um apainter and people love my work,
and they're like, I love yourpaintings.
You know what I mean?
Like how excited I would feelthat my work brings you this
much joy.
Yeah.
So I wonder if is that kind ofresembling how how you feel?
SPEAKER_00 (08:57):
Yeah, it's it's it's like it's like that you you
don't you don't really know.
I don't know.
Like again, you know me, sowell, first of all, you've been
knowing me for like a long time.
But when I'm saying that you,you know, like my process of
stuff, like I'm just it's likethe green screen is up right
now, and I'm not even talking toanybody.
(09:20):
I'm just hopping in something,getting on my laptop, click
upload, and I get comments.
It's like hitting a high scoreon a game or something.
I never see anybody laugh at mystuff.
I never see a reaction unlessit's a reaction video that
somebody uploads, and that'slike one every like, well at
least right now, that's oneevery however many years.
(09:44):
So I never see it.
So that that's the only time Iactually get to experience what
you saw.
So it's really, it really canturn your day around for real
when things like that happen.
So I got you.
And also if somebody doesn'thave a great personality, it
could be kind of nerve-wracking.
Um don't know what to say forreal.
SPEAKER_03 (10:06):
Yeah, I got you.
Yeah, right.
SPEAKER_00 (10:08):
But um, that was cool.
That was cool.
SPEAKER_03 (10:10):
Does it make you want to go harder in the work
that you do?
Or yeah, yeah, it does.
SPEAKER_00 (10:15):
Like when I actually see that, I'm like, oh damn.
You you you you just it's it's II still wish that I could
actually visually see somebodythat that really likes my
content, watch it.
Because again, all I'm gettingis emo.
I'm super thankful.
I'm getting emojis, laughing myass off, da-da-da-da-da.
(10:37):
But it's just like words.
It's a it's different whensomebody's in front of you, like
laughing at your stuff.
SPEAKER_03 (10:44):
And you didn't forget about you forgot about
the third guy that recognizedyou that night.
Who?
He's like, You're the uh thepussy juice guy.
Damn! Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (10:54):
I got recognized four times this week.
That's crazy.
That's all in one week.
Yeah, yeah.
Just jam-packed there.
SPEAKER_03 (11:00):
Because he's like, bruh, I haven't did that in a
long time.
SPEAKER_00 (11:03):
I haven't done that in so I don't know how he
remembered that.
SPEAKER_03 (11:05):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (11:06):
That was 2017.
SPEAKER_03 (11:09):
Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (11:10):
Yeah, like when I first came out for real, that
first year.
Yeah, he stopped, but he wasjust like passing by pussy
juice.
He just kept walking.
I almost felt like, damn, I wantmore.
Like, what yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's uh, but no, I was I wasum it's crazy, man.
It's crazy how you you just makepeople feel, you know.
(11:32):
And um, yeah, so that the usstarting all this and all that,
like I wanted that for you too.
Like you just walk out and it'sjust different, bro.
It's like going to the the umyou go to the airport and it's
normal, super normal.
You give them your ID, like,wait, aren't you that guy that
the flight is just better now?
SPEAKER_03 (11:52):
Okay, I guess.
You know, yeah.
No, but I like it to experienceit for you.
Like, yeah, yeah.
Like I'm I'm halfway out of it.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, yeah.
I'm just the guy, and you know,I enjoy seeing it.
Yeah, but yeah, yeah.
But that can be a a a level ofoverwhelm, like how I feel.
I don't know if that's how youfeel, but like it can be a
(12:14):
little overwhelming at times.
It can because they have anexpectation of you.
SPEAKER_00 (12:19):
When I'm in, when I'm in, for instance, when I
went to um Atlanta Homecoming,like when all of the all of the
calls, the HBCUs, they're liketogether at the same time, that
was the most overwhelming stuffever.
(12:40):
I I will always remember that.
Like when I'm in, or when I evenlived in Atlanta, it was very
overwhelming.
There were times where, excuseme, there were times where I
didn't even want to go to Linuxanymore.
I didn't want to go to the mallanymore.
If I went to the food court andI'm hungry and I gotta stand in
line, like somebody gonnarecognize me, and that's weird.
(13:01):
I'm standing in line and like Ican't get away.
Um yeah, if I if I if I if I'mat the gas station, that's just
not like the best place for meto get recognized.
That's just I don't like that.
One time a dude uh knocked onthe window and it was me and
Lloyd in the car.
He's like, bro, I love you.
I didn't know what was about tohappen, you know.
He knocked in your car window.
(13:22):
Yeah, yeah.
We was driving, I don't knowwhere we was driving to.
We was in a we was in a U-Haul,and um, yeah, he just knocked on
the window.
I I didn't know what that wasabout, but that's what I'm
saying.
Sometimes it's like uh it's it'sjust time and time and a place
for certain things.
And again, some people arenaturally awkward, they don't
(13:43):
know what to say to you whenthey see you, and it could just
feel it could feel weird, itfeels like somebody staring at
you.
SPEAKER_03 (13:51):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (13:52):
Yeah, it's not like the the best feeling.
SPEAKER_03 (13:54):
Yeah, I got you.
SPEAKER_00 (13:55):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I remember one time I was at akickback and somebody went like
this.
Like they took a picture of me.
Yeah, okay.
While they were talking tosomebody, like, yeah, he did a
thing.
And I'm just like, I just Ifucking saw you, dude.
You on the other side of thetable.
SPEAKER_03 (14:13):
Yeah, right, right, right.
SPEAKER_00 (14:15):
So it, you know.
SPEAKER_03 (14:17):
Is that is that somewhat frustrating, or are you
like, I understand you wanna youunderstand.
SPEAKER_00 (14:22):
I got you, but it's just like I don't I don't know
if I fuck with you.
SPEAKER_03 (14:27):
Yeah, yeah.
I think it's an element of, hey,I'm too cool to do the thing I
want to do and ask for apicture.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (14:34):
That or just say, hey, you the dude, or yeah,
yeah, whatever.
But again, like I don't knowwhat it's like to I've been in
this stuff for so long that Idon't know what that's really
like anymore.
To to see somebody, you know, megoing to LA and then rubbing
shoulders with people way higherthan me.
You see these people, you'relike, oh damn, it's just people
(14:55):
for real.
Like you have to be super duperI I don't know, I don't even
know who you have to be to makeme feel that way.
But I've been in it for so long,I don't even know what that is
to to see somebody you follow orwhatever, and you think you're
never gonna run into thisperson, and then all of a sudden
(15:17):
they're in 3D, like right infront of you.
So it's a it's very it's verydelightful.
I'm super appreciative of thepeople just saying something.
You know, it does make me feelsuper good.
I'm like, damn, I gotta um Idon't know, it's kind of like a
battery in your back when youhear that, and then you you you
(15:40):
just see that your work is justappreciated, and it's like
really appreciated.
It wasn't just like oh you'refunny, like, no, hey bro, like
you're you.
Right.
SPEAKER_03 (15:50):
So um I feel like your reach is further than the
600,000 or 500,000.
It's gotta be, you know what Imean?
Yeah, it's gotta be.
SPEAKER_00 (15:57):
At this point, a lot of people have seen my face.
So I could have been repostedagain.
I could be on somebody's uhstory.
There are many, many, many womenwho will post me on their story
but won't follow me.
And there's a lot of guys thatfollow women.
(16:18):
So, like, you see what I'msaying?
My face is out there.
They might not rec they mightnot know my name and stuff,
which was why, like, when dudesaid something, I was I was just
gonna follow him.
I kind of expect them to eitherfollow me or not follow me, but
you know my face, more so thanyou're actually following me.
SPEAKER_03 (16:36):
Because do any of them say your name?
SPEAKER_00 (16:41):
Uh that that that maybe like a quarter of the
time.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, maybe a quarter of thetime that they'll actually say
that.
But usually it's like waiting onme to say what my name is.
But like they know that I'm theguy that hops in the videos.
SPEAKER_03 (16:59):
And yeah, okay.
Okay, I got you.
No, but it was so it was cool,no, it and it's cool to
experience that.
But I was like, yeah, the blackyour black audience compared to
white, because I don't see muchof any white person in there.
I don't even remember a whiteperson.
Yeah, it's it's it's crazy, justthe cultures, like how how far
apart they are.
It's completely far apart.
SPEAKER_00 (17:19):
Yeah, right, right.
I don't remember once gettingrecognized by like a actual
white person who's not like fromthe the black community, you
know what I'm saying?
SPEAKER_03 (17:31):
Right.
I guess maybe a keen batch maycross over a little bit, yeah,
yeah, or something along thoselines.
No, LA people, yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (17:38):
Yeah, me very, very few far before.
Yeah, I I don't remember thatnot one time.
But I also literallyintentionally zone in on black
content specifically.
So that's just gonna keepgrowing.
SPEAKER_03 (17:57):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (17:57):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (17:58):
But uh so yeah, so keep in mind the dude that
recognized you gave us thesethese passes tickets to the
strip club, yeah, and I'm like,we got time.
You know, yeah, yeah, we gottime today.
We're going today.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Let's let's see what it'stalking about.
So we get to the strip club.
(18:18):
When I say the slowestexperience I've ever been.
And I've been to maybe five orsix, seven, maybe strip clubs at
the at the most.
Right.
In Nashville?
Or just in general?
Yeah, I've been to that onebefore.
Oh.
And it wasn't that bad then.
Uh-huh.
And then I've like maybe threeor four strip clubs in Atlanta.
(18:41):
Oh, I'm gonna lean on two,three.
And then I maybe went to one ortwo in Florida.
So yeah, so about six, maybe.
Um, if I'm doing rough now.
SPEAKER_00 (18:52):
I mean in Atlanta.
Folly's in Blue Flame.
SPEAKER_03 (18:56):
Yeah, yeah.
So, but you know, that wasthere's so many years apart.
I'd rarely go.
But uh, but yeah, so I was like,we're going, you know.
Yeah, get there.
When I say the laziestperformance I've ever seen in my
life, like if it was show at thepolo, we booing you.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
Like, like it was so bad.
The money that was thrown, Iwanted to like slap their hand
(19:18):
away.
Like you they don't deserve it.
SPEAKER_00 (19:20):
Yeah, they were thrown, they uh a little bit,
yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (19:23):
But what made it the experience fun was the people
watching.
What you mean?
Like, you was like, bruh, he isa serial killer.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
You point to people out, like,yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (19:34):
It was literally, yeah, that it was it was
chilling there, laughing withyou, and just like looking at
everything.
By then, you know, it was theend of the night, so it was like
we turned.
It's just we just having fun atabout anything at this point.
And they had them girls inrotation every 15 minutes.
SPEAKER_03 (19:53):
It was three of them.
Exactly.
And they couldn't strip to savetheir damn lives.
Yeah, you know what I mean?
Like, like it was lazily, likeone person was okay on the pole,
uh, but none of them couldreally twerk.
They're always doing likeclapping the heels, you know,
trying to shake their legs alittle bit.
Yeah.
I was like, how do you get thisback?
(20:14):
You know what I mean?
If this is this what Nashvillehas to offer?
Like, I felt bad for my city.
SPEAKER_00 (20:18):
Uh I I'm pretty sure there are there are other ones.
There's gotta be bigger oneshere, right?
SPEAKER_03 (20:22):
Well, there's only another one.
Oh, okay, okay, okay.
Because surprisingly, there'sanother one that got closed, uh,
Crazy Horse, because it wasworse than that one, apparently.
Damn.
Yeah.
How small could you really get,right?
Uh yeah, nobody was in theretoo.
At that strip club, it wasThursday.
Yes.
I I would think a Thursday wouldbe.
I would think a Thursday too.
(20:43):
Kind of pop.
But yeah, I just wanted to put alittle bit more grace on it.
Yeah.
And and not only that, it'sBYOB.
Yeah, that was new.
So, yeah, yeah.
That's like a law in Nashville,Tennessee.
Is that a strip club that youthat they can't sell liquor at
the strip club?
SPEAKER_00 (20:59):
Really?
Yeah.
Oh, okay.
Yeah.
Oh, I didn't even think about itlike that.
Or maybe you did tell me, but II didn't.
Yeah, I yeah, the BYOB, you youyeah.
We were just drinking.
I'm like, that's new.
SPEAKER_03 (21:12):
So you can really turn up at the strip club
because you're not spendingthose prices.
Oh.
Like we had like a a case ofTrulies or whatever, yeah, and
we was drinking them joints, andyou can really get lit real
quick, throw money, you know,and not spend a lot.
Uh-huh.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, yeah.
So it should really be packedjust based off the law.
(21:33):
Yeah.
Because you know, you can go,you know, supposed to see
beautiful girls.
Our hostesses were lit trash.
They were old.
Like, I was like, bruh, it'slike, this ain't it.
You know what I mean?
Like, like, yeah, this feelslike, you know what I mean?
Like, we should be out in theboonies with this.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Like, this is something that,yeah, hey, you know, you in
(21:53):
Shelbyville and you and you gohere, and it's like, all right,
this is what Shelbyville's gottaoffer.
Nashville is a city, yeah, it'sa metropolitan fact.
There should be a more variety.
Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (22:07):
Yeah, I thought it would be more.
Um, yeah, I thought I thought itwould be.
I mean, hey, it was not it was II can't I can't even fully say
that I didn't have a greatexperience because everything
else was just perfect.
SPEAKER_03 (22:24):
Yeah, no, it was a great night.
I think it was just funny howbad it was.
It's like it was like one ofthose movies that are so bad as
good.
Yeah, you know what I mean?
Like look at him over there.
Look at her.
Like you, you're you're like,like one of the like Tubi movies
to where they shooting and theydo it and she they dodging the
bullets, yeah, you know what Imean or get punched, and it's
(22:46):
like so bad it's funny.
Yeah, you know what I mean?
Yeah, so it was like a Tubimovie for real.
Yeah, and so it was enjoyable towatch, but like, but we didn't
come there for like expectationto have like oh I'm here for the
strippers.
SPEAKER_00 (23:00):
We're just going to do said it too.
He was like, it's all right, butlike he was like, it's decent.
He he told the truth before wewent.
Oh, okay.
He oh you told okay.
Yeah, dude who gave us thetickets, he definitely was like,
uh he changed his voice andeverything.
Yeah, yeah, like bro.
Don't expect to have a good timefor real.
SPEAKER_03 (23:17):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Um, but yeah, so so when wewent, it wasn't like
expectation, like, hey, we'regonna have so much fun.
It was like, hey, let's just godo this experience.
Right.
So, you know, it wasn'tdisappointing.
Well, I'm lying, it wasdisappointing for the the expect
like taste of a strip clubexactly in Nashville.
(23:38):
Exactly, yeah, yeah.
But at the same time, it was agood time because we still
enjoyed ourselves.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (23:43):
No, it was that was a great night.
That was fun.
That was definitely fun.
unknown (23:46):
I fucked with it.
SPEAKER_03 (23:47):
Yeah, yeah, no, that was cool.
But so, you know, when you're atthe strip club, it you know, um
you typically you see like morevariety.
Like it was just like one blackgirl, the rest of them white,
but it wasn't like a heavyrotation anyway.
But you know, but if you gosomewhere else, like maybe New
York, you will get actualdiverse people.
But um that and driving for theweekend, um, because I met this
(24:12):
one lady, she was Colombian, andthen it was like, you know, her
friends were like kind of eggingher on, like, hey, she's single,
yada yada.
Oh, okay.
She had this heavy accent.
Uh-uh.
Like, and she was cute, but youknow what I mean.
I I I look at situations likethat and I go further and be
like, could I marry somebodywith this thick accent?
(24:34):
Yeah, and so I'm gonna proposethat question to you.
Uh-huh.
Do you feel like you can marrysomebody with the accent, French
accent, um Spanish accent?
SPEAKER_00 (24:47):
I think so.
Okay, I think so.
Yeah, like I I'm thinking aboutit.
Um one of my homies had agirlfriend and she was from
London.
I thought that was kind of cool.
SPEAKER_03 (25:03):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (25:03):
Yeah, that's it was definitely thick.
She was definitely from London.
Okay.
Or the UK or whatever.
SPEAKER_03 (25:08):
So I'm saying thick accent to where you have to ask,
what did you say?
Uh-huh.
Type it thick.
SPEAKER_00 (25:14):
You know, if uh if the the the the wifey qualities
are up enough, I'm willing tolearn.
Oh yeah, I got you.
SPEAKER_03 (25:21):
I'm willing to, you know.
Because yeah, a London accentaccent, English is their first
language.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
But for others, that's you know,English can be their second or
third language.
You know what I mean?
And this is clearly, she'sColombian, she's this is her
second language for sure.
She knows the words, they justare thick.
(25:41):
So the her Spanish where youroll the tongue and all that
stuff still kind of applies whenpronouncing things.
SPEAKER_00 (25:48):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
No, I think I could.
I think I could.
Um, yeah, all that other stuff.
Uh uh one of my exes, she wasPuerto Rican.
First of all, she didn't evenknow Spanish.
But um I was willing to learnjust the off the strength, like
you know, to shit, chill andtalk to her family and and stuff
(26:11):
like that.
SPEAKER_03 (26:11):
I'm not talking to her mom, her mom's mom's from
New York, she exactly talks likethis.
Yeah, exactly.
So that's that's I'm sayingsomebody who has a second
language to where No, I know, Iknow.
SPEAKER_00 (26:23):
I'm just saying, like it I thought in the
beginning that that's what I wasgetting myself into, and I was I
was willing to like learn.
SPEAKER_02 (26:34):
Okay.
SPEAKER_03 (26:34):
Yeah.
Yeah, I see I see what you'resaying, that you're coming in,
but when you're actuallyexperiencing it is another thing
because that that's somewhathard for I don't want to say get
over, but it it's hard for me totake it serious when you know we
is that language barrier.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (26:52):
You know, I mean it's is is that weird to say or
uh the the way you explain it,it seems like it's not
necessarily a language barrier,it's just like you getting used
to their voice their accent.
Okay.
So like they are they they'retalking in Spanglish or
whatever, but after a while, youknow, you'll eventually uh learn
(27:16):
that.
My um homie Lloyd, his dad isfrom New Orleans and that shit
deep as hell.
And I had to learn it.
Like I had to literally, Ididn't know what he was saying
when he just came from um NewOrleans, from Katrina, fresh,
fresh out of Katrina.
(27:37):
And that's when their accent wasthe thickest.
And I didn't know what this manwas saying.
My family still don't be knowingwhat he be saying, but I've
deciphered it now.
Like I I know exactly what he'stalking about and the jokes that
he's saying.
So yeah, I think it's just time,time that you have with people.
People do that to me.
Yeah, like people, well, I mean,I I don't speak a different
(27:59):
language, but when I get supercomfortable and like we're on a
podcast now, but like if I my myum, I don't know, I I go to I
talk on the phone to a bunch ofhomies or something, and I'm
fresh off of that, my accent isprobably thicker.
And I've been on a coupleconversations where they were
like, wait, huh, what you what'dyou say?
(28:19):
Uh what what what'd you say?
And then eventually they theythey can hear what I'm saying.
So mine's not like a Colombianaccent, but still.
It was so thick that youcouldn't really understand what
she was saying.
SPEAKER_03 (28:32):
Yeah, um, I can understand what she's saying,
but you know, this one of themoments you gotta turn the radio
all the way down.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
And um, it's like okay, and Ihad to lean in.
Yeah.
To kind of get it.
And sh she was shy and all thatstuff, so that all that didn't
help.
Because her family was like, shelives at home by herself.
Like, like, yeah.
(28:53):
Like, well, because there, Imean, okay, they said something
along that, like, she has herhouse that lives alone.
So she pretty much said that,like, she lives alone.
Uh-huh.
But she's from Jersey orwhatever.
So, um, and I guess I'm sayingthat to say on a side note, is
that when English is not itbecause it reminds me of a
(29:14):
situation.
If English is not somebody'sfirst language, they're saying
the words that they know, andthey don't necessarily know how
it comes off.
Because when I sold insurance,it was this African guy who, you
know, they'll be like, What?
You know what I mean?
It sounds harsh, but those arethe words that they don't.
They don't know that it comesoff very aggressive.
(29:35):
Oh, yeah.
So, yeah, so he may be loud andyelling.
He may, but then at the end ofthe conversation, okay.
You know what I mean?
Like, like the experience soundsvery abrasive, uh huh, but
that's just how he is.
You know what I mean?
And yeah, so they're usingthey're limited on the words
that they use, so it may soundcrazy.
Like, dang, you putting that onblast.
(29:56):
But those are like, hey, I don'tknow how to say this another
way.
Mm-hmm.
Because I only know the words.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
Yeah.
And and this may not necessarilyapply for her, but there's
pretty much hey, because they'respeaking in Spanish.
So obviously I don't know whatthey're saying.
Yeah.
So they could have a I assumethat because I do have energy.
You know what I mean?
(30:16):
So I can see how she looks at meand then they're they're going
back and forth.
And then she'll say a thing.
Like, are you are you married?
Like she'll speak in Spanish.
And they'll be like, Justin, areyou married?
Yeah.
You know, I was like, okay, thatwhole conversation was about me.
I don't know what they said, butyeah, it was about clearly.
Yeah.
You know, yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (30:35):
So I'll be willing to learn.
Yeah.
I think um, I don't know.
It just depends on who you with.
It all depends on who you with.
But yeah, I I I would definitelyum uh depending on how that
situation is for sure.
Yeah, if I'm being treated superright, yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (30:56):
Well you you don't know until you you just not like
it's a arranged marriage, youknow what I mean?
You gotta build up to beingtreated super right.
Right.
So it's like, hey, you becausein normal circumstances, I know
you probably had differentexperience, but in normal
circumstances, you get to meetthat person wherever y'all met,
then you have that first date,and then you know, you build up
(31:18):
after that.
Treating you right really onlycomes in in the in the uh you
know, y'all leading up to beingtogether.
Yeah.
So so yeah, but so but you gottaget date one, date two in before
you get to that point anyway, inmost cases.
SPEAKER_00 (31:35):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
That reminded me of um, yeah,like I said, I think it just
depends on who you're with, butthat reminded me of a girl I I
once knew, and she was fromJamaica and it's super thick um
accent.
Super, but like she would dumbit down for me while speaking to
(32:00):
me.
So I guess it kind of doesn't gowith what you're saying, but I
do remember somebody elserealizing that if she was just
speaking straight patois, then Igotta keep asking questions to
keep up and all this.
So she would rather do her bestproper voice to have a
(32:22):
conversation with me.
SPEAKER_03 (32:23):
Yeah, yeah, and yeah, I I understood.
Yeah, it definitely helped.
SPEAKER_00 (32:27):
So but I wanted to learn, right?
Right.
SPEAKER_03 (32:30):
Yeah, I want to speak that shit too.
It's so what you said it got meon another path.
Do you have things that you wantto put out before I just start
going on you know differentstuff?
I mean, we're flowing.
Okay, okay.
I just didn't want to hold youup.
Uh, but yeah, so um when you youyou mentioned something about
treating you right, yeah.
So it just sparked my mind.
Have you got flowers for a datebefore?
(32:51):
Have you uh not received flowerson a date?
On an actual date?
Yeah, like a girl presented youwith flowers.
SPEAKER_00 (33:00):
Um it wasn't a date, but I got flowers.
SPEAKER_03 (33:05):
What was it?
What was it?
SPEAKER_00 (33:07):
Uh I think I told you, um, it was twice from the
same.
Oh, it was only one girl thatdid this.
But um, yeah, I saw her for thefirst time before she was my
girlfriend.
Saw her for the first timebefore she was my girlfriend,
and then I searched the wholeairport when I landed for a rose
(33:28):
for her, and then I got in hercar and she had a rose for me.
That was that was that shit waslike, whoa.
Okay.
Yeah, I was I was definitelytaken aback.
And that same girl sent meflowers to where I lived with um
chocolate covered strawberriesand shit.
That shit was crazy.
(33:49):
That was the first time I everso how how did you how was it
feeling?
SPEAKER_03 (33:52):
Because I've never had that and felt like floating.
SPEAKER_00 (33:56):
Okay.
Okay.
She said, she said, um, well,when I got in the car, you know,
I don't know.
I I I feel like in terms of coin terms of courting each other,
um, and showing each other that,you know, how much you you you
(34:17):
you feel about each other.
I have not seen too much of theother side.
So usually as like I said, uh, Ifeel like I failed if I see this
girl who I'm talking to and Ipull up and I ain't got a rose
for.
You know, I feel like, damn,like that was that was the like
(34:38):
a first impression of meetingyou, and like I really wanted to
show you that I actually likeyou, and you know, and I don't
even expect that stuff.
So whenever that happens to me,I'm just like super taken aback.
Like it feels, I don't know,bro.
(34:58):
It feels like it automaticallybecause I never get stuff like
that, it automatically feelslike I owe you or something.
Yeah.
So, and then I remember when Iwas talking to that same girl,
and she um she said, she said,oh my god, they sent it to the
(35:18):
wrong address.
And then I was like, What whatwhat you mean?
She's like, they sent it to thewrong address.
Oh my god.
And then I was like, what?
And I opened the door, and itwas this big red box.
And then I was like, oh, what'sthis?
She was like, oh wait, it'ssent?
And she ruined the whole thingfor me.
(35:40):
But um, and I opened up that, Ididn't know what was in that
box.
I thought I I I I didn't knowwhat was in that box, but I
opened it up and like I said, itwas just it was flat a bouquet.
Then my video stopped.
Oh, for real?
SPEAKER_01 (35:55):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (35:56):
Uh is it uh nah, I started it again.
Oh, okay.
Um I'm gonna just clap just incase.
Okay.
Yeah.
Okay.
I'll figure I'll I'll figure itout.
I don't even think aboutthinking about that.
But um yeah, but when I wentoutside and I saw that, damn,
like I was I was just like it itit it made me sit down.
(36:19):
I was just like, this happens?
You know, so I think womenshould definitely do that.
I mean, I'm all for being agentleman and giving a woman a
rose and all that, but I don'tthink it's talked about for real
how it feels on the other end.
Even if it's not a rose, it'sjust like a gesture of I I
(36:40):
really like you, or you know,especially if y'all are both on
the same page.
It feels like it feels more likeyou're it feels more like you're
on the same page versus let mekeep showing this girl something
or keep brightening this girl'sday, and then you literally,
(37:01):
yeah, whether you a nigga thatlike flowers or not, you can see
the effort of her trying to makeyour day better.
And that that felt that feltamazing.
SPEAKER_03 (37:11):
Yeah, so um the what you felt like you're like, hey,
I owe you.
That's like that's what's calledthe law of reciprocity.
Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
It's like when somebody doessomething for you, you feel the
need to do something for themback.
Yeah.
Um, so that's kind of from whatI'm gauging from what you're
saying.
SPEAKER_00 (37:29):
I think I always feel like that for the most
part.
Just because it's so rare.
It's like so rare.
And I'm talking about littlestuff.
I'm not talking about like datesand things like that, which is
still fine.
You know, if a girl's like, no,I want to take you out or
da-da-da, that's cool, but Idon't know.
Um I'm talking about littlestuff.
(37:51):
Okay, I got you.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Not like, you know, you've beenwith your girl for a year, and
then she's like, I want to takeyou out now.
Oh.
You know, not like that.
I'm saying, uh, which isdefinitely still appreciated.
SPEAKER_03 (38:03):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (38:04):
But um, nah, that that that initial shit and and
them showing you that, I'llalways probably feel like, oh
damn, I think I owe hersomething.
Because I I'm just not used toit.
I'm not used to getting things.
SPEAKER_03 (38:21):
Right, yeah.
And I think that's like um whenI was talking to this one girl,
it was something simple.
She had went to Myrtle Beach,but she has sold my name on
like, you know, they'll have itlike say a name tag with your
name on it, but this one hadlike had a bottle of sand or
something, and it had it had myname attached, and she's like,
hey, I I got you something, youknow, like like she tried to
play it off nonchalantly, but Iwas like, this is actually cool.
(38:45):
Yeah, you know, I'm glad this isyou thought of me while you was
on the trip, you know.
So that I appreciate it, eventhough it's like a thing that's
like insignificant, it stillfelt good to have that because
you you're thinking about mewhile you're somewhere else.
Yeah.
Um, so that's what it's kind ofsounds a little bit to me, like
what was kind of happening.
Um, but too, like those um thoseuh roses and those chocolates
(39:10):
and things like that along thoselines.
What I'm gonna probably startdoing is, and what I've really
never done, is starting to writeletters.
Uh-huh.
To I I've never done it, haveyou?
Like, where I I've never doneit.
SPEAKER_00 (39:24):
Try to make them cry every time.
SPEAKER_03 (39:26):
Okay.
For me, like I'm gonna I feellike I should do it in a lot
more instances than just theromantic thing, you know.
Uh writing a little bit.
I'm just thinking about youknow, past relationship.
There's you can't, and I'm gonnacompletely remove the romantic
and actually talk about like anissue that we're having we're
(39:46):
having in a relationship.
Uh-huh.
You can't come back at me in theletter.
You know, you know what I mean?
Yeah.
You could you just gotta readthe letter for what it is and
how I feel.
You sure it's the best way.
SPEAKER_00 (39:59):
It sounds negative.
SPEAKER_03 (40:00):
No, well, I'm saying that is that what happens when I
confront you, because typicallyhow it is, is like, hey, I have
an issue that I want to solve.
Yeah.
And then it's it's now we'regoing back and forth, and you're
not truly hearing me.
Uh-huh-uh.
But in a letter, you're gettingexactly how I'm feel without you
having the ability to uh respondback at that moment.
(40:26):
You just gotta take everythingthat I say.
Because then there's gonna bepoints that I miss, there's
gonna be things I'm forgettingback, and now I'm responding to
something that's probably noteven, you know, that you know,
you threw a curveball that'slike, hey, you said this, but
what about this thing?
It's like brother, I thought wetackled this four months ago.
Uh-huh.
So now it's no longer about whatthe issue I had.
(40:47):
Now you're just coming back atme to to create an argument.
SPEAKER_00 (40:51):
I think I think you're still gonna get that.
I feel like you're gonna get acall from her and be like, Of
course, of course.
SPEAKER_03 (40:57):
I mean, the plan is to get a discussion out of it,
but you're getting all of the ofhow I feel about the issue
before you can respond.
Because typically when I'm andand when there's an issue
arises, there's a there's gonnabe a lot of going back and
forth, and there's there's noresolution.
SPEAKER_00 (41:18):
I I think I think it depends on who you're with.
SPEAKER_03 (41:21):
I mean, I think I don't think everybody's like
that.
Yeah, but there's a lot of thathappening in relationships.
I mean, yeah.
I I don't mean uh that's I'venever seen it to where that's
not been the case.
Now, is that gonna be everysingle case, every single time?
Hopefully not.
But there's gonna be plenty oftimes to where you may have an
issue and then y'all are justbad at each other at that point,
(41:44):
yeah.
And so you're feeling like, whatwas the point of me ever?
I shouldn't have even brought itup because now we're in a worse
place.
SPEAKER_00 (41:51):
I th there was one time I was uh with someone and
we went to the park and we werereally just trying to figure us
out and got the notepad out.
And this is this is just themost um this instance is just uh
very similar to what you'resaying.
It's not exactly the same.
(42:12):
But I do remember doing that,and I wrote down things that I
needed, and then she wrote downthings that she needed, and then
she gave that to me, and then Igave that to her, and then we
talked about it or whatever.
Um it worked, it didn't work,but I I feel like it was just
(42:34):
because of who we were in thatmoment, you know, that that that
time frame.
SPEAKER_03 (42:40):
But we tried.
So y'all went to park andphysically wrote less.
Physically and then handed eachother.
And then what so when you readhers, how did you feel?
It was valid.
SPEAKER_00 (42:51):
Okay, you know, it was it was valid.
There were things on there,definitely, that um that that I
should have uh just thoughtabout more.
You know, I feel like everyonesometimes gets caught up in
what's going on in theirperspective versus zooming out
(43:14):
and realizing we're bothsupposed to tackle like this one
problem versus like I got anissue when you got an issue.
Um so I I think that that was onboth sides of that relationship.
So uh, but all I was just sayingwas, you know, I I mean I guess
I am a part of a certain amountof people who kind of did
something like that.
(43:35):
Um but it was it was a cooleffort though.
It was a cool effort of ussitting down.
We we both thought, you know, wewere trying, but eventually it
just kind of um it it didn'twork out for the best, but you
know, there was there was effortthere.
SPEAKER_03 (43:50):
Okay, so did y'all break up immediately?
Like, yeah.
Well I'm saying that but so thateffort was only attempted one
time, it sounds like maybetwice.
Okay, maybe twice.
Okay, and you wouldn't recommenddoing that?
SPEAKER_00 (44:05):
I think I think it just depends on who you're with.
I I feel like what I'm saying isI don't want to be with somebody
where I I gotta think about umlike so many different ways to
communicate with this person,break it down, as in like I want
I want to be with someone who isvery in tune emotionally with
(44:31):
themselves.
SPEAKER_03 (44:32):
Okay.
SPEAKER_00 (44:33):
Uh I feel like if two people are like that, then
we can sit down and have aconversation, even if both of us
have an issue with each other.
But if we aren't if we aren'tcompatible in that area, then
it's millions of ways to quotetry to figure out uh conversing
(44:53):
through that issue.
SPEAKER_03 (44:54):
So what does in tune emotionally mean?
SPEAKER_00 (44:56):
Intune emotionally.
So like let's say if I'm talkingto somebody and if I'm talking
to somebody and they have anissue with me um saying their
name with aggression orsomething, I'm just like
throwing something out there,but I don't realize I'm doing
that.
(45:16):
So when I'm talking to them, I'mlike, hey, Justin, I've did it,
I don't even realize I'm doingit, but now that's making you
triggered.
So now you're probably gonnareact to that because I wasn't
in tune really emotionally oflike what I'm doing.
And that's what I mean on bothsides of the situation.
So both of us aren't umunderstanding each other in an
(45:40):
emotional sense, or even justlike as a friend, you know, then
you're gonna be trying forever.
Too many different ways oftrying to communicate therapy.
Let's sit down, let's look ateach other in the eyes, let's
write some shit down.
Let's I done did a whole bunchof shit trying to figure out how
to communicate sometimes.
Yeah, it just it depends on whoyou with for real.
SPEAKER_03 (46:02):
Yeah, and that that brings a little bit more clarity
to you know my past umsituations, um, just because
it'll be times to where it'slike I'm saying, like, hey, be
be respectful, be nice.
Yeah, you know, yeah, yeah, likeand I'm not saying that like you
can't be upset.
(46:23):
Those are going so it's to thatpoint to where you're talking
about like, hey, Justin, yeah,like if you was to do that, then
it's gonna get my attention realquick because that's not, and
then I'm like, what's what'sgoing on?
You get it?
You know, like, and it wouldn'tbe out of me receiving the
energy energy and be mad.
It was like, okay, that's notnormally who you are, so now I
(46:44):
gotta make sure I did something.
What did I do wrong?
You know, because not becausethere's an emphasis on why you
did that, you know what I mean?
SPEAKER_00 (46:51):
You see what I'm saying?
SPEAKER_03 (46:52):
If it's new, but like if people are kind of stuck
in what a edge over exactly, andthat's that's my point, is that
where that thing that you justdid, it's like, all right, this
is a pattern, this is a behaviorthat I'm seeing, and I'm like,
be cognizant of that because Idon't like that.
(47:12):
Not to say that I might I'm notreally upset that you're doing
that, but this is not this isnot a pattern I like to feel
feel like that you're constantlyhaving this aggression.
This is not what I want to seemy my wife be.
Right.
Yeah, I just be respectful, bekind.
It's easier to get things donethat way through me.
(47:34):
Yeah, so we when you say whenyou mention that, it just brings
more clarity because it's notjust one, this is just a a
pattern of aggression that I'mtrying to recognize that you're
doing and you're you'reessentially dismissing it.
Yeah.
And say, hey, you're tripping.
It's like I can see where I'mcoming from because I'm bringing
up and it seems like it's not,it's uh I'm making a small issue
(47:57):
bigger, but it's just a constantpattern of this thing to where
I'm like, hey, be kind, berespectful, because if I came to
you like that and constantly didthat, that would show me of who
I am.
And it's it doesn't fit, itdoesn't.
This is not traits of a kindperson.
You may feel kind inside, andmaybe you are, but these those
(48:18):
traits that you're showingaren't kind behavior.
Yeah, right.
You know, that ain't a personwho's happy.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, I that's what I saidbefore.
I think happy people do happythings, yeah.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So, like, it's and I didn't, youknow, sometimes I can say it and
(48:39):
it doesn't necessarily penetratethrough, but when you said that,
I was like, I maybe should haveemphasized that a little bit
more.
I felt like I did, but Iprobably didn't.
SPEAKER_00 (48:49):
Yeah, yeah.
So yeah, no, this it's it's Idon't know.
There's so many different waysof looking at it, and like you
gotta give people gracesometimes.
Like I I was I was with otherpeople that it's just super hard
to talk to.
Like to get them to I I wouldtry to talk about something
(49:11):
serious just so we could beokay, and then they're like,
Yeah, I'm I'm gonna leave.
I need some air, and it's justafter a while of that, now I'm
gonna get upset.
And then it's I'm gonna let youleave eventually.
Now we're fucked.
Because I I don't know, it'sjust work that needs to be well,
(49:31):
it's not even necessarily.
I mean, it is work, but what I'msaying more still is uh the fact
that we have to both understandlike who we are and be aware of
what we're being to each other.
Because if if not, it's thisshit just oh, we're gonna be
trying something else next week.
If we like really want to betogether because of the other
(49:52):
things of the relationship, andthen you just constantly try new
things, you read a new thing,and they say, Oh, we should talk
like this.
All right, let's try that.
We should do this, we should getum see a life coach, we should
and then you just trying allthese different things versus
it's really just y'all beingable to sit there and talk to
(50:13):
each other in a way that both ofy'all like to be talked to.
SPEAKER_03 (50:19):
Do you pride yourself on being real?
On being real?
Yeah.
Um uh what situation is?
Uh huh.
Let me I miss slightly misspoke.
Um, do you think you can bevulnerable on this podcast?
SPEAKER_00 (50:35):
On this podcast, uh, to an extent.
SPEAKER_03 (50:37):
Okay.
Is there a relationship?
I'm gonna ask a question, youcan just say yeah, yes or no.
Oh, yeah, I'll figure it out.
Okay.
I got you.
I'll figure it out.
Is there a relationship that youwish you could do over again?
SPEAKER_00 (50:50):
Mm-mm.
SPEAKER_03 (50:50):
Okay.
SPEAKER_00 (50:51):
No.
SPEAKER_03 (50:52):
Um and I'm not even saying like she was my
girlfriend.
I'm saying there was somebodythat you talked to that you
meant that you wish that youcould have either pushed, like
pushed more on, or you didsomething wrong, dismissed her.
Like Yes.
SPEAKER_00 (51:11):
Oh, yeah, okay.
Yes.
Okay.
Yeah.
No, for sure.
Yeah.
There, there, not that I wouldwant to now.
Um, but there are there are somesituations that I didn't like
how I handled.
And um, yeah, I I would want to.
(51:32):
It taught me a lot about theghosting thing.
You remember how I told you?
Just like I don't I don't likebe ghosting people anymore
unless it's like a mutual ghost,yeah, a mutual fade out of
conversation and stuff likethat.
But like just straight up nothitting them back and all that,
or like I'm gonna get to this ina different manner.
(51:54):
Um it just with the with thewith the right person, that shit
kind of backfires on you.
Like after they're gone, thenyou like, damn, I didn't have to
do that.
Cause now I'll probably nevertalk to them again.
Yeah.
So um that has happened before,where I ghost to somebody and
(52:20):
it's just stupid.
I should not have done that.
But um, I'll never hear fromthat girl again.
I'll never I'll never hear fromher ass again.
I done tried, I done tried, uhnot that, not again, just to
clarify, I'm not like theactively trying to get her or
anything.
You're right, right, right.
But there was a time frame whereI had ghosts of somebody, and
(52:40):
then I was like, ah, shouldn'thave done that.
Let me hit her up.
And then literally, it was justsomething simple as kind of
like, I don't like how you didthat or whatever, and we're
still friends, we're still cool.
And that was the last message Igot.
I I I figured.
Yeah, and I was like, damn, youwere cool.
You wasn't like no whatevernegative term you can think of.
(53:05):
You wasn't like nothing crazy.
You was you was cool, and that'swhy I don't yeah, I don't be
doing that no more.
Because I was like, you theythey would never talk to you
again for real.
Right.
If it's the right like person toeven have as a friend later on
in life, yeah, so that thatthat's happened with me.
What about you?
SPEAKER_03 (53:25):
Yeah, for sure.
Yeah, I how are we doing that?
Uh 53.
Okay, we need to wrap up here.
But uh yeah, so I would say forsure, because there were um now
that I'm getting older, one, Ihandled situations poorly, very
poor.
Uh-huh.
Um, and um so I have uhsituations that one, I wish I
(53:50):
would have handled them betterfor their sake.
Like, like, hey, she, you know,she was very one of was a girl
that was just like a naive girl,not to say there was there was
no future in that, but I couldhave uh communicated better.
But I was I was I was 20 yearsold, you know.
(54:10):
I'm like 20 21 years old, andI'm going in on her, and she
necessarily probably didn't needto receive it for that that way.
So I that I regret um situationsthat I would like to have back.
Um there one two people inparticular um that I would do
(54:30):
over with.
One would be communicating, andI should have gave her a chance
to respond instead of doing theghost sync technique uh because
I didn't feel comfortable withthe situation, and I'll shed a
little light on that.
Was like I and I maybe talkedabout a podcast, stop me if I
did.
I know you probably know.
Um, but it was a story where youknow we was hanging out, we had
(54:51):
uh came back from um a triptogether with a group of us, and
then we were hanging out, butapparently she may have been
talking to another guy, and hewas constantly blowing up the
phone, and then you know it gotto a point to where I was like,
hey, he's the this whoever'scalling you, you know, it sounds
like you need to answer thatbecause you know this is like
his 30th time, not even kidding.
It's back to back to back toback.
So, and then you know, she picksup the phone, she's like, You
(55:13):
ready to box or whatever?
And I'm like, No.
You know, I didn't say no, I waslike, it kind of is what it is,
you know.
I was like, but you need to talkto him because I was like, Does
he have a gun?
Possibly, like, all right, well,I'm dying for this.
You know what I mean?
So it after that, I kind of leftthat situation and never
responded back until later.
We're still cool now, but butnonetheless, I wish I would have
(55:34):
gave her a chance to respondfrom that because that, you
know, I've known her forever,and um it shouldn't have ended
like that.
But the one that I felt like umthat there was um a tr a truly
good person who was in our agewas a pretty effective
communicated communicator,intelligent.
(55:57):
This is back in college.
I can say her name, you know whoI'm talking about, um, for other
reasons.
And it was not knowing what Iknow now, childish of how I
handle it for the person thatshe was to me.
Uh-huh.
Like, because she true we wentback since high school, and she
truly was a good person and umum one of my friends.
(56:20):
And you know, we went further umbeyond that, and she really
liked me, and I liked her, butfor the the issue, I definitely
um like dang, if no one would Iknow that she would have been a
good wife, and she probably is agood wife to somebody.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So so that one I could none ofthese, I'm like, you know, like
(56:43):
mad that I didn't figure it out,but one that's like, you know
what?
I wonder what what another lifewould have looked like, you know
what I mean?
Yeah, yeah.
Because that one I wouldn't havebeen like, hey, she would have
been a good person to me, care,cared a lot, could do a lot of
things well.
And um, so to answer yourquestion, yes.
SPEAKER_00 (57:01):
Yeah, no, that that that is definitely uh uh I
thought that shit was inside.
Um but no, that that issomething.
SPEAKER_03 (57:10):
Um and and it's and I'll add on that there's like so
many people in the future thatcan also offer that too.
You know, like like the peoplethat I meet and talk to like are
really, you know, like becauseyou know, when driving Uber,
you're meeting a ton ofdifferent people, ton of
personalities, and there's justa lot of people who are
(57:31):
enjoyable to talk to.
Yeah, so you know, I think thatwhat's gonna be for us, because
you want to be married too,right?
Yeah at some point.
SPEAKER_00 (57:40):
Yeah, at some point, yeah, right, right.
SPEAKER_03 (57:42):
So so I think what is everything is meant to be is
supposed to be.
Yeah.
So it's just now everysituation, I think we just need
to make it intentional for us tolearn and grow.
No, no, facts.
Yeah, like hey, we need to makesure that we relook of how we
react to how we handle thesituations, how we could have
(58:04):
changed going forward and applythat to our next relationship.
Yeah.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (58:09):
No, yeah, everything is definitely um some type of
lesson in it.
That's that's kind of how I Ilook at it.
Like every I I think I told you,like every connection that I
have, it just seems something isum like like mirroring in a way
of of my personality or spiritor like something is there.
(58:34):
So I I do actively want to treatthem with um, you know, the same
respect that I would want.
Uh and not just do like wrong topeople.
Like that doesn't it don't besitting with me well um whenever
I have.
So yeah, yeah, I I think it'sjust an act of uh active uh
(58:58):
decision just to be better andthe relationships that you have
with people.
SPEAKER_03 (59:04):
Absolutely.
Yeah.
Well, I think this is a goodepisode.
Yeah, right at 59.
Uh absolutely.
Well, this is two for theculture, and we'll be back.
Yes, sir.
Yes, sir.
Popular Podcasts
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.