June 12, 2025 • 33 mins
🎙 Episode 2: Things That Defy Explanation
Some stories come with a twist. Others come with goosebumps.
This week, Archie and Shelly explore those eerie moments that logic can’t quite explain. Archie brings a tale rooted in Southern legend, where a strange shift in a friend’s behavior might have something to do with a certain Tennessee spirit. Shelly recounts a desert night that started off normal—until the lights appeared, the air changed, and her dog wanted nothing to do with what came next.
Also in this episode:
•Porch philosophy with quotes from Jean-Paul Sartre and Benjamin Franklin
•The strange comfort of telling stories you can’t quite prove
•A new phrase for the Front Porch Philosopher collection (and yes, it’s wearable)
đź’¬ Listener Vote:
Which story sent the bigger shiver down your spine? Cast your vote at notquiterightgoods.com/pages/two-frogs-talking or @notquiterightgoods on Instagram.
🛍 This Week’s Tee:
New in the shop: “I don’t know what I saw. But I saw it.” Perfect for those unexplained moments you just can’t shake.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Archie (00:03):
You ever notice how a Southern thunderstorm knows just
when to make an entrance?
Shelly (00:07):
Why is one starting to brew?
Archie (00:09):
Yep.
Just started rumbling outside.
Y'all probably can't hear it.
I got this new mic here thatblocks out everything but
existential dread, but I swearthat thunder rolled in the
second we hit record.
Dang.
Okay.
Okay.
That one just rattled the garagedoor.
Shelly (00:25):
Well, it's a safe 70 and sunny here.
Archie (00:28):
Well, like always.
Shelly (00:30):
Maybe we should reschedule.
Archie (00:31):
No.
Uh, I'm probably fine if thelights go out.
Everything's wireless now.
Got three portable chargers,full battery on the laptop, and
a headlamp if the live from thescreen ain't doing the trick.
Shelly (00:43):
It sounds like you've got quite the setup.
Yeah,
Archie (00:46):
well, you know me prepared, not paranoid.
That's the line I try to walk.
Shelly (00:51):
I do know you, but the audience may not.
So how about we get to theintro?
Archie (00:57):
Well lead us off then.
Shelly (00:59):
Hi there.
I'm Shelly.
Archie (01:01):
And I'm Archie.
And welcome to the porch for
Shelly (01:05):
Two Frogs.
Two
Archie (01:06):
Frogs.
Shelly (01:07):
Talking.
Archie (01:07):
Talking.
One part telling tales,
Shelly (01:10):
one part talking life.
All parts.
All parts a bit bit, bit notquiet.
Archie (01:16):
Quiet.
Shelly (01:17):
Right.
Archie (01:17):
Right.
I try to match the forecast tothe theme makes for a richer
atmosphere.
Shelly (01:24):
Well, today's theme fits.
This week we're talking aboutthings that defy explanation.
Archie (01:31):
Mm-hmm.
Stuff you can't reason your waythrough stuff that shows up,
messes with your head, and thenvanishes before you can prove it
ever happened.
Shelly (01:39):
You know, life is full of those little wait, what just
happened moments.
Archie (01:43):
Yeah.
You live long enough, youcollect a few scratches on your
belief system.
Shelly (01:47):
Some of them never quite buff out.
Archie (01:49):
And as always, we didn't tell each other our tales ahead
of time.
That's the producer's job.
She makes sure we're not bothtalking about a haunted ice
machine or something like that.
Shelly (01:59):
Wait, you didn't choose that one?
Archie (02:02):
Nah, I went with something different.
I didn't want to tell one you'veheard a million times.
Shelly (02:07):
If Archie sounds a little sore, it's because this
story is a family favorite andhe's never lived it down.
Archie (02:15):
Okay, well I'd have the record show that haunted ice
machines are a thing.
Shelly (02:19):
I think if you want the record to show something, you
have to offer evidence.
Archie (02:24):
Okay.
Is that a challenge?
Shelly (02:25):
A small one.
Archie (02:26):
Alright.
All right, fine.
It's not today's tale, but sinceyou brought it up, well, I guess
I brought it up.
In any case, I was four.
We were out west visitingShelly's, folks staying in one
of those roadside motels withthe two bed set up and a
stubborn ice machine just acrossthe hall.
(02:47):
I was sleeping in the same bedas my big brother, Billy.
He was 14 cooler than I'd everbe and somehow still patient
with me.
Shelly (02:56):
Billie was the best.
Archie (02:58):
He was.
I miss him every day.
Shelly (03:01):
I know you do.
Archie (03:02):
So anyway, uh, it was the middle of the night.
I wake up to pee.
On my way back.
I hear a sound outside.
It's my name whispered.
Real slow.
Aaarrrcchhieee, ooh,
Shelly (03:18):
not, not something I'd want to hear.
Nope,
Archie (03:21):
I froze.
Froze for a moment, not believein what I was hearing.
And then it came again, Archielonger and louder this time.
I think if I had any pee left inme, my PJ's would've been wet.
Shelly (03:37):
Oh no, no.
That's really scared.
Archie (03:40):
Yeah, it was.
I was petrified and I dove backinto the bed and right under
those covers I must havedisturbed Billy with my shaking.
'cause he rolled over and hetells me, Hey, cut it out.
But.
He listened when I explainedwhat was happening and then we
sat there in silence.
Nothing.
Shelly (03:59):
Of course, it's like ghosts have a second sense for
making you look foolish orsomething.
It's a gift.
Archie (04:05):
Well, a gift.
This one had it in spades'causethe second he started snoring it
came back.
Same voice, same callAaarrrccchhiiee.
Now I wanted to go check.
I felt compelled to, but my gutsaid Uhuh, no way.
(04:25):
And besides, I doubt my legswould've carried me, so I stayed
put head under the blanketlistening to that voice, calling
for what felt like hours.
Shelly (04:35):
And nobody woke up because of it.
Archie (04:38):
Nope.
Not even when the next thinghappened.
Banging metallic sound, followedby some unexplainable sound like
a, like a bunch of rocks fallinto the ground at the same
time.
And I mean, a bunch.
I'd never heard anything likeit.
I couldn't take it anymore.
I screamed, ah, I woke up thewhole damn room.
Shelly (04:59):
The noise didn't wake them, but your scream did.
Archie (05:03):
Yeah.
Sure did.
Makes no sense that sound wasloud, had to be louder than my
scream.
Shelly (05:08):
So everybody's awake now.
Archie (05:11):
Everybody's awake in my room, probably the adjoining
rooms and all thanks to me.
Now, I explained to my parents,of course, they, they agree to
investigate.
My dad opens the door and that'swhen he sees it.
The ice machine ice had explodedout of it.
A pile of cubes, half as tall asthe machine itself laid out in
front of it and all spilled outinto the hall, right, reached
(05:33):
right up into the door.
Shelly (05:34):
That is a lot of ice.
Archie (05:36):
Exactly right now, there's no way all that ice came
from that machine.
And dad, when he went down tothe night clerk, the guy says,
oh, that machine just beenserviced two days ago, so it
shouldn't be busted.
Shelly (05:47):
So the logical conclusion is it's haunted.
Archie (05:51):
I know what I heard and I know what I saw, and I'm
telling you that machine washaunted or cursed or hungry,
whatever it was.
I make it a practice not to stayin motel rooms near ice machines
anymore.
Shelly (06:05):
I see a merch tie-in.
Beware hotel ice machines.
Archie (06:10):
Yeah.
Very, very tempting.
Mm-hmm.
But today's tie-in is, don'tknow what I saw, but I saw it.
Shelly (06:17):
Well, that's very profound.
Archie (06:19):
Mm-hmm.
It is on the Front PorchPhilosopher series.
Shelly (06:22):
Your own collection of wisdoms.
Maw-maw would be so proud.
Archie (06:27):
Yeah, I don't know, but she didn't like it much when
people dumbed down complicatedstuff.
Not that she wanted to keepthings difficult, it's just that
she believed you had to give abody a chance to get it.
And if that took time, then ittook time.
Shelly (06:41):
You're not dumbing things down, you're just being
economical with your words.
She definitely approve.
I bet she even wears some of themerch, and I know for sure she
would have all of the mugs.
Archie (06:54):
Oh, that woman sure did like her mugs, didn't she?
Shelly (06:56):
I've never seen such a collection, a whole room devoted
to mugs.
It was a site to behold.
Archie (07:01):
Oh my.
My mama had a time dealing withthat.
After she passed, she had tospread all the mugs to every
thrift store in the county.
It was too big of a collection.
I mean, a store would just beoverflowing with mugs, Maw-maw's
Shelly (07:14):
mugs.
Maw-maw's mugs.
Why did we start talking aboutmugs?
You know what?
Why don't we actually starttalking about the real stories
for this week?
Good idea.
All right.
Well, let me tell you then aboutthe time the Bell witch.
May have hitched a ride homewith me.
Wait, the Bell Witch, like theone that haunted that family in
(07:36):
Tennessee in like the 18hundreds?
Archie (07:39):
Yep.
That's her, the Bell family,Adams, Tennessee.
Now she was relentless,whispers, scratches, full-blown
shouting matches in the middleof the night.
Shelly (07:50):
Right.
And some famous general showedup to investigate and got run
off.
Archie (07:55):
Andrew Jackson.
Yeah.
But, but before he waspresident.
He rolled in with a wagon teamand a whole party of men,
including, and I get this, aso-called witch tamer.
Shelly (08:06):
Oh, a witch tamer.
That sounds like a job someonegave themselves.
Archie (08:10):
Exactly.
Now, this gentleman was braggingthe whole way there.
He said he had a silver bulletbible and a plan to drive the
spirit out.
Shelly (08:17):
Hmm.
Let me guess the Bell Witch wasnot impressed.
Shoot.
Archie (08:21):
Not even a little bit.
No.
Supposedly as soon as they gotclose, the wagon froze up.
Wouldn't move horses dug in.
Then a voice outta nowhere says"You may proceed." Boom.
Wheels unlock.
Shelly (08:36):
No, I mean, that would be enough to make me wanna turn
around.
Archie (08:40):
Yeah.
Well, they were there to savethe family.
they just couldn't go back.
They'd look like a bunch ofcowards.
Shelly (08:46):
Fear of judgment.
It'll get you every time.
Archie (08:48):
In any case, that night, the so-called witch tamer, he
gets slapped clean outta hiscot, and Jackson's whole crew
gets tormented slaps andwhispers cold spots.
And by the morning, Jackson'slike, all right, I'm done.
And he hightails it outta there.
Shelly (09:04):
So the ghost didn't just haunt them, it played with them.
Archie (09:07):
Apparently and in harsh ways.
Anyway, I'm getting carriedaway.
That's the legend.
My story picks up a couplehundred years later, not far
from the old Bell property.
A detail, my buddy Nolan leftout.
Shelly (09:23):
Well, that's a friend.
Fail.
Archie (09:24):
To this day, I have no idea why he didn't tell me or
why he chose that spot.
Uh, now this is when I'm in mytwenties and still carefree
about things, you know, and Itrusted Nolan, so there's no
reason to ask too many questionsabout where we're going.
Shelly (09:39):
Did he give you any info at all?
Archie (09:42):
Sure.
He said it'd be quiet and offthe grid and good for thinking.
He just left out that the spotwas about a mile away from where
the Bell family once lived.
Shelly (09:52):
Well, that is a pretty big detail to leave out.
Right?
Archie (09:56):
I mean, I thought we were just gonna go fish, maybe
overcook some beanie weenies anddrink a few too many cold ones.
Shelly (10:02):
Sounds magical.
Archie (10:04):
But it wasn't.
Mm-hmm.
It was so still, I'm talking toostill.
Woods didn't make a sound.
No bugs, no birds, no breezethrough the trees.
Just a big old hush, like theland was holding its bread.
Shelly (10:18):
Ooh.
It's never a good sign whennature is too silent.
Archie (10:22):
Hair on the back of my neck was standing on end, and if
I'd had more sense, I would'vecalled an audible right there.
Shelly (10:27):
Why didn't you?
Archie (10:29):
I didn't wanna look like a fool.
Shelly (10:30):
Hmm.
Fear of judgment.
Archie (10:32):
Yeah.
Plus Nolan, well, he, he didn'tseem to be bothered by it at
all, so I figured it was justme.
Well, we set up camp and, uh,the first night it feels odd,
but it's uneventful.
Although Nolan wasn't actingparticular himself.
But
Shelly (10:48):
Wait, how wasn't he acting himself?
Archie (10:50):
Well, he was quiet and brooden.
Now, normally if you know Nolan,he could hold a conversation
with a wall, and I swear thatman wore a smile more than any
other expression, and
Shelly (11:02):
You didn't think to ask if something was wrong?
Archie (11:03):
Well, that's, that's not really a thing most guys do,
Shelly, especially in theirtwenties.
I'd like to think it's somethingI'd say now, but anyway, that's
not how things played out.
Shelly (11:13):
It's that judgment thing again.
And they say females are thesensitive ones.
Archie (11:19):
Who's sensitive?
I, I got the thickest skin.
Shelly (11:21):
Overcompensate much?
Archie (11:23):
What?
Okay.
Okay.
All right.
You win.
Anyway, moving on.
We, uh, we spent the next dayfishing for our dinner.
Right.
And we managed to land a couple,I mean, nothing flashy, but
enough to fill our belliesanyway.
Shelly (11:39):
Oh man.
There is nothing like fresh fishcooked over a open flame.
My tummy starting to grumble.
Archie (11:44):
Well, the sun starts setting and we get to building
the fire.
We get a starter going, and thenNolan heads off to go get more
sticks, and I stay behind withthe fire feeding it some small
twigs we had, so it'd be readyfor the wood when Nolan got
back.
And then I hear it real soft.
(12:05):
Whispering not words.
I could make out just this lowbreathy sound like the wind,
trying to figure out how tospeak.
And then I feel a flick on theback of my neck.
And then I hear it real soft,whispering.
Uh, not words.
I could make out just this lowbreathy sound like the wind,
(12:31):
trying to figure out how tospeak, and then I feel a flick
on the back of my neck.
Oh.
Mm-hmm.
And no, it made me jump to myfeet and turn around and.
Nothing.
Nothing.
No, nothing.
Now I have it in my mind.
Okay.
Nolan must be playing a prank onme, which would be like the
(12:52):
Nolan I know, but there's nosign of him.
Of course there isn't.
I would've heard him sneaking upon me.
Shelly (12:58):
Unless he was some kind of ninja.
Archie (13:00):
He certainly wasn't that more like a bull in a China
shop, but there's no sign ofhim.
Right.
So I gather myself, turn backaround to deal with the fire,
and it's gone.
Shelly (13:13):
What's gone?
Archie (13:14):
The fire.
Gone.
Gone.
Yeah.
Like it was never lit.
Cold stones, cold coals from thenight before and, and a little
twig pile ready to be lit.
And the air was different.
Like it was pressing in aroundme.
Shelly (13:32):
Oh, heavy air.
That's never a good thing.
Archie (13:35):
No, I tell you.
It didn't feel good.
Not at all.
And that's about the time whenNolan comes back.
He sees the, the fires out andhe, he asks, why'd I squash it?
Now I explained the whole thingand he just looks at me stone
faced for a moment, juststanding there.
He was way past awkward when hefinally says, yep, we're on Bell
(13:57):
Witch land.
Shelly (13:59):
And did you know what that meant then?
Archie (14:01):
No, not a clue.
So he goes on to tell me thelegend, and then he says, some
folks think the spirit neverleft, just waits for
unsuspecting folks.
Shelly (14:12):
Why?
Archie (14:14):
He never said, just left it open like that.
Shelly (14:17):
Oh.
Oh no.
I don't like that.
That's unsettling.
Archie (14:20):
Yeah.
Tell me about it.
Now, at this point, I'm tryingreal hard to act like I'm not
spooked, but my skin is buzzinglike I stuck a fork in a socket.
I bet.
Now we decide, well, I decidewe're leaving first thing in the
morning.
Shelly (14:37):
Why didn't you just leave then?
Archie (14:38):
Well, Nolan was adamant that we spend the night again,
no reason, and it was hisvehicle.
Best I could do was a sunrisebreakdown and exit.
Shelly (14:50):
That is why I always make sure I'm in control of the
keys.
Archie (14:53):
Well, lesson learned.
Mm-hmm.
Guarantee you that night Ibarely slept every snap of a
twig, every rustle of the tent,any unidentifiable sound, which
was all the sounds that night,it seemed.
I'm listening, but nothinghappens.
Shelly (15:11):
Really.
Nothing.
Yep.
Nothing.
Archie (15:13):
Nope.
Shelly (15:15):
Well, well that was a big build up for a short let
down.
Archie (15:19):
Well now hold on.
The story's not over yet.
Okay.
We pack up and we head out thenext morning, and Nolan, he's
even more quiet and broody thewhole ride back.
Shelly (15:29):
Well, I bet that was a super fun ride.
Archie (15:31):
Shoot.
I've never been so glad for theradio, but here's the part I
still can't explain.
Shelly (15:38):
In addition to the self extinguishing fire.
Archie (15:41):
Yeah.
In addition to that, I get homeand everything should feel
normal.
But it doesn't, something's offand I can't put my finger on it.
I'm uneasy, but I decide, lemmetake a shower.
Shelly (15:56):
Well, I mean, you've got to get the stink off.
Archie (15:59):
That's what I figured, huh?
But it was probably the fastestshower I've ever taken.
Feeling like you got eyes on,you'll speed up your routine.
So now I towel off and I getdressed and I figure it's time
to eat something, and that'swhen I notice it.
My porch light, which is on atimer mm-hmm.
Is flickering.
Yep.
(16:19):
Not off and on like you'dexpect, but just, just
fluttering like a firefly goingin and out.
Now I step outside toinvestigate and sitting right in
the middle of my doormat is ascorched twig.
Blackened on the one end.
Fresh on the other.
Shelly (16:37):
Like from your campfire.
Archie (16:39):
Exactly like that.
But I hadn't brought any halfburnt twig back from the fire
and it wasn't there when I camehome.
It just showed up.
So.
Shelly (16:49):
So you think it followed you home?
Archie (16:51):
I don't know what I think, but I left that twig
right where it was.
The porch light fixed itself twodays later and get this, there
was no trace to that twig.
Shelly (17:01):
Well, the twig could have blown away.
Archie (17:04):
True but strange considering that it showed up
out of the blue and the lightfixed itself once it went away.
And then my place startedfeeling normal again too.
Shelly (17:15):
Whoa.
What about Nolan?
Archie (17:18):
See, that's the other thing, like I said, on the ride
home, he wasn't joking, hewasn't talking, just sort of
staring out the window.
Like he'd left something behind
Shelly (17:27):
or maybe brought something back.
Archie (17:31):
My thoughts.
Exactly.
I checked in once or twice afterthat.
He barely responded.
I got the feeling he didn't wantme around and I don't have to be
told twice.
And one day he just moved.
Goodbye.
No explanation.
Just gone.
Shelly (17:49):
Like the twig.
Archie (17:51):
Yep.
And I can't explain any of it.
Shelly (17:54):
Whoa.
Well that's a good one.
Arch, good story.
Archie (17:59):
Oh, thank you.
Thank you.
I appreciate that.
Well, uh, anyway, you're up.
What do you have for us?
Shelly (18:05):
Well, as it so happens, we both have camping stories.
Archie (18:09):
Uh, you know, what they say about Great Mind.
Shelly (18:10):
I do.
Okay.
So mine happened just this pastsummer.
I'd been feeling cooped up andRalph needed a change of scenery
and I had a weekend free.
So I loaded up the Jeep and Iheaded out toward Joshua Tree
for some dispersed camping.
Just me, the desert, and Ralph.
Archie (18:31):
Now see that Jeep seen more dust than a broom in a wood
shop.
Shelly (18:34):
It served me well, that's for sure.
Archie (18:36):
If that's the case, you should think about naming her.
Shelly (18:38):
Who says it's a she, and naming vehicles is your thing,
not mine.
Archie (18:43):
Oh, fair point.
Shelly (18:44):
So I find the spot behind a massive boulder that
protected me from the wind andgave an anchor to that wide open
landscape.
Archie (18:53):
Oh, all that openness can be a bit unsettling.
Shelly (18:55):
It can be for folks, not used to it, but for me it feels
like there's just room tobreathe and be,
Archie (19:03):
maybe I need to spend some more time out there.
'cause that's not the feeling Igot when I took that one trip.
Shelly (19:08):
You're always welcome out here, cousin.
I'd love to have you along, kindof need to make up for that last
trip anyway.
Archie (19:15):
I didn't know wind could blow that hard.
Shelly (19:17):
It was my mistake for not checking the wind forecast.
Out here, it's not the weatherthat you have to check, but the
wind.
Archie (19:24):
Yeah, well it, it did make things quite unpleasant.
Shelly (19:27):
It wasn't the wind this time that ruined the trip.
It was something altogetherdifferent.
Archie (19:31):
Still ruined trips, make for good story.
Shelly (19:34):
That they do.
And this story starts out likeany one of my many camping
trips.
I get to camp, I get my tentjust like I want it.
I get my fire pit up running andI start heating up some chowder.
Archie (19:48):
Chowder.
Shelly (19:49):
I found soup is an excellent camp meal, especially
the hardy ones.
Archie (19:53):
I tend to agree.
Now, what's your recipe forthis?
Shelly (19:55):
Oh, nothing fancy, just the can.
A little thyme, cracked pepper,and I pair it with a baguette.
I snagged from a bakery on theway out of town.
Archie (20:05):
You've given Ralph chowder too.
Shelly (20:07):
Of course not.
That is way too rich for hisstomach.
He gets his usual rice, beef andcarrot mix.
Archie (20:15):
Listeners, that dog eats better than I do.
I've seen her dog food prep andI cried for my own childhood.
Shelly (20:22):
Don't let your mama hear that.
Archie (20:24):
Oh, Shoot.
You're right.
Sorry, mama.
I'm sorry.
I was just, I was just drawingan analogy for the purposes of
the story.
I meant nothing by it.
I swear.
Aunt
Shelly (20:31):
Claire is an excellent cook among other things.
Archie (20:34):
And that that right there is why you're her favorite
niece on this side of thefamily.
Shelly (20:37):
I am the only niece.
I have all male cousins.
Archie (20:40):
Yeah, and you're the better for it.
Shelly (20:42):
You'd like to think that, wouldn't you?
Archie (20:44):
I would.
Yeah.
Shelly (20:47):
Anyway, why don't we get back to the story.
The sun is starting to dip andRalph gets twitchy, not scared,
just on edge watching thehorizon and ignoring his meal.
He won't relax and it is makingit hard for me to enjoy my meal,
but, but I'm trying the best Ican and I'm watching the last of
(21:10):
that purple light fade to black.
And just when the last lightgoes, Ralph starts to growl low.
I look over at him and hishackles are up.
Archie (21:24):
Oh, that's no good.
Shelly (21:25):
No, it's not.
So I look out where it lookslike he's looking, and that's
when I notice the light.
It's far off at first.
Soft, golden, almost like alantern, but it's not bouncing
like a person walking it.
It's floating, drifting kind ofsmooth, like.
(21:48):
Gliding, huh?
And then the voice starts.
Archie (21:54):
Oh boy.
Not a voice.
Shelly (21:57):
Faint at first.
Just a sound like someonecalling, like no words I can
make out more like tones.
hhhhheeeellllpppp.
Ralph Growled, deepened, and gotlouder.
That low primal nope sound thatdogs can make that sound that
(22:18):
sends your own neck hairs on endnow.
Archie (22:21):
Oh, yep.
Shelly (22:21):
I'm not new to desert lore.
I have read about these lights.
Stories say that they beckon youfrom the safety of your camp
with false cries for help, andif you follow them, you don't
come back.
Archie (22:37):
Well, you're still here, so I guess you didn't follow.
Shelly (22:40):
No.
And like you, I stayed.
Archie (22:43):
Well then I guess I could ask you the same question
you asked me.
Shelly (22:46):
You could, and my answer would be the same.
Archie (22:48):
That you didn't wanna look foolish in front of Nolan.
Shelly (22:50):
Funny.
Nope.
Just thought I was beingfoolish.
So instead of leaving, I ditchedthe tent and I moved my sleeping
gear into the Jeep.
Archie (23:01):
Oh, hang on you.
You slept in the Jeep?
Shelly (23:03):
Yep.
Not the comfiest.
Two-door wranglers got space formaybe half a being in the back.
So Ralph and I were boy packedin tight.
I kept the lights off, the doorslocked, and luckily I decided to
leave the hard top on.
Archie (23:17):
Oh, well, yeah, you would've been a sitting duck
without the top.
Shelly (23:19):
I know.
So there we are, Ralph and mepacked into the Jeep, him
growling and me trying not tolook.
But every now and then, when Icouldn't stand it, I'd peek and
that flickering light was stillout there.
And of course it was,'cause ifyou listened close, you could
still hear the calling.
Archie (23:39):
Ooh, I don't know if I could have stood that.
Shelly (23:41):
I kept my music going and my earbuds in, and I never
opened the door no matter howstrong the sensation got to do
it.
I never looked too long at thelight, just glances.
Although I've gotta say therewas a really strong urge to keep
on looking.
Archie (23:58):
Well, yeah, there was.
It was hypnotizing you.
There's no telling what would'vehappened if you'd have kept
staring.
We might not be talking rightnow.
Shelly (24:07):
Well, I think it was Ralph that kept me straight.
I mean, he never stoppedgrowling, and that made me keep
my wits about me.
Archie (24:13):
oh now Ralph growled.
Shelly (24:15):
All night.
All night.
Well, the part when we wereawake.
Archie (24:19):
Y'all fell asleep.
Shelly (24:21):
Yeah.
As impossible as it seems, wemust have both fallen asleep in
the early morning hours.
I came to with the first light,cresting the horizon, and all I
could see and hear was wide opendesert.
No calling, no light, nothing.
Except for one single desertflower, fresh and purple, laying
(24:46):
in the center of the fire pit.
And here's the thing, there wereno footprints leading into camp.
None.
But that flower was placedthere.
Archie (24:58):
No, that, that's not nature.
That's a message.
Shelly (25:01):
Yeah, and I got it loud and clear.
Stay alert, stay skeptical, andalways trust your dog.
Archie (25:06):
I'm curious.
Could you find that spot again?
Shelly (25:10):
What on earth for?
Archie (25:12):
Well, doesn't it ever cross your mind?
Uh, go check it out again.
Shelly (25:17):
Uh, no.
There's plenty of desert outthere.
I steer well clear of that area.
Archie (25:22):
but don't you ever feel like you need to go back
Shelly (25:25):
No.
Why?
You're not thinking of trying tofind that camping spot on the
Bell Witch land, are you?
Archie (25:31):
No.
Of course not.
Shelly (25:33):
Good,
Archie (25:34):
but I'd be lying if I said that.
I haven't dreamt about it.
Shelly (25:37):
Really?
Archie (25:38):
Hard, too, real vivid dreams about it.
I don't know about twice, threetimes a week
Shelly (25:45):
Arch.
That's concerning.
You'd tell someone before youtook off, right?
Archie (25:50):
Well, well, I'm, I'm not planning to go.
I'm just dreaming about it.
Shelly (25:53):
Good.
Archie (25:55):
But the dreams, they're getting stronger and stronger
now that I think about it morefrequent.
Shelly (26:01):
Okay?
You have to promise me thatyou'll call me if you find
yourself packing up Betsy for aroad trip to those parts.
Archie (26:08):
Why?
Shelly (26:08):
Why are you kidding me?
I don't want you to turn intoNolan.
That's why.
Archie (26:15):
I am only messing with you.
Calm down.
Oh, still?
Shelly (26:19):
God, get me all worked up.
Archie (26:21):
Yo, it's a special gift.
What can't I say?
Shelly (26:24):
Remember the time you and Billy had me convinced that
my belly button was a plug, andif it got loose, I would go
flying around the room like ahelium balloon with a hole in
it.
Archie (26:34):
Oh man, that was a good one.
Billy pulled it on me before wepulled it on you.
I spent
Shelly (26:39):
the whole summer protecting my belly button.
Archie (26:42):
Like your life depended on it.
Because
Shelly (26:44):
it did, even though Billy did tell me not to worry
too much because he had aspecial tool that could help get
the plug back in if I started toleak.
He just needed to be close by soI wouldn't lose too much air.
I didn't let him out of myeyesight.
And you, you, you kept remindingme that while Billy could get
the plug in, he couldn't pump meback up.
Archie (27:07):
See now that that was my own twist.
Billy didn't know about that.
He was far too kindhearted toleave you worried about a
lifelong deflation issue.
Shelly (27:15):
Oh God.
I had images of me walkingaround half deflated for the
rest of my life.
Little 4-year-old me.
It is a core memory.
Archie (27:24):
Well, I happy to have helped Thanks for the detour.
Good Billy memory always bringsa smile to my heart.
Shelly (27:30):
I guess he's on my mind since we talked about him
earlier.
Archie (27:33):
Yeah, makes sense.
Uh, now, uh, where were we?
Shelly (27:39):
Recapping the stories, which are one with a witch, self
extinguish fires and amysterious twig and a brooding
friend and the other with ghostlights, disembodied voices, and
a floral calling card.
Archie (27:53):
And in both cases, nothing we can prove, just
something we'll never quiteforget.
And, we sure as heck can'texplain.
Shelly (28:02):
Which brings us to our weekly brain snack, quote time.
Archie (28:07):
Righty.
Now, each week we, uh, bringsomething from a favorite
thinker to help shine a littlelight or maybe throw a little
more shadow on the theme.
Shelly (28:16):
Are you gonna throw some shade this week?
Archie (28:19):
No, it just came out like that.
Shelly (28:21):
Oh, did it Now
Archie (28:24):
it did.
Shelly (28:26):
Okay.
I don't know what to say tothat.
Archie (28:28):
Nothing to say.
Shelly (28:29):
Are you seven again?
Archie (28:31):
What do you mean?
Shelly (28:34):
All this poking at me?
Archie (28:36):
I guess the weather has me in a boyish mood.
Shelly (28:39):
Thunderstorms bring that out in you, huh?
Archie (28:41):
Yeah, it seems so.
But I, I'll, I'll try to behavemyself from here on out.
Shelly (28:45):
Good.
Because we're at the seriousthinking part Archie.
Archie (28:48):
Mm-hmm.
Are
Shelly (28:49):
you ready?
Archie (28:50):
I'm ready as I'll ever be.
Shelly (28:52):
My quote today is from physicist Richard Feynman.
"I would rather have questionsthat can't be answered, than
answers that can't bequestioned."
Archie (29:02):
Well, I'll tell you, it would be a boring world if we
couldn't question things, butnot getting an answer is pretty
unsatisfying.
Shelly (29:10):
Or unnerving.
We've got two stories where anitem, and both times it's a
piece of nature.
We're just there unexplained,but clearly there with a
purpose.
Archie (29:19):
and we'll never know what will we, which brings me to
my quote.
"There are more things in heavenand Earth, Horatio than are in
your philosophy.
Shelly (29:30):
Old Willie Shakes.
Archie (29:32):
that's right.
Hamlet's talking to his friend.
See, and he just seen the ghostof his father and he's very
unsettled.
Horatio is trying to talk himdown off the ledge, so to speak,
using reason.
and Hamlet.
Is having none of it.
He knows what he saw and heknows what he heard.
And now he's got a lot ofquestions
Shelly (29:52):
But to be fair, I mean, I think I'd have a lot of
questions too.
If the ghost of my fatherappeared to me and told me my
uncle, who is now married to mymother is his murderer, and that
I need to take revenge withoutharming her, and on top of
everything, he's suffering inthe afterlife because he didn't
(30:12):
receive last rights.
Archie (30:14):
It would be a lot to take in, that's for sure.
Horatio even says, these are butwild and whirling words, but he
stands by Hamlet.
Although what Hamlet's basicallysaying is that A, a ghost is
ordering me to murder my uncle,and I'm gonna do it.
Shelly (30:30):
He swears by it.
Archie (30:32):
He does, even though he doesn't know how he's gonna do
it yet.
Shelly (30:36):
So the ghost absolutely defies explanation, but Hamlet
accepts that he can't explainit, but the inability to explain
it doesn't mean it didn'thappen.
Archie (30:47):
Right.
And of course, Hamlet goes on toprove everything that Ghost said
was true.
Shelly (30:52):
And everyone ends up dead in the end.
Archie (30:55):
Yeah.
It's a tragedy.
Shelly (30:56):
Mm-hmm.
Archie (30:58):
Well.
Anyway, less, we're gonnaexplore more of the themes and
lessons in Hamlet.
I think that wraps up thisweek's dip into the
inexplicable.
Shelly (31:06):
Head to our Instagram at not quite right goods and vote
for the story and teller youthink is the better tell.
Was it Archie and the spirit whomay or may not have hitched a
ride back from Adams, Tennessee?
Archie (31:18):
Or Shelly alone in the desert with her Jeep, her dog,
and one very suspicious lantern.
Shelly (31:24):
And hey, if you like today's episodes, you can snag a
piece of t-shirt form or stickerform over at not quite right
goods.com.
Archie (31:32):
Mm-hmm.
Now this week's feature a new Tfor the Front Porch Philosopher
series.
Don't know what I saw, but I sawit.
Perfect for Ghost Chasers, deepthinkers, and anyone who's seen
the unexplainable.
And you can find it and all ourother sideways wisdom at not
quite right goods.com.
Shelly (31:51):
And yes, this is Two Frogs Talking, but remember, our
home is at not quite rightgoods.com.
You'll find our podcast pagethere as well as Archie's
musings, in a blog, along withall the merch we have to offer.
Archie (32:04):
And send a note.
Why don't you, we, we wouldn'tmind hearing from you.
Tell us what you think.
But, uh, be mindful.
'cause, uh, frogs have feelingstoo.
Uh, are you gonna do it?
Shelly (32:19):
Do what?
Archie (32:20):
you have to say your next line.
Shelly (32:23):
Oh.
I thought you were gonna saymore.
My bad.
Thanks for sitting with us.
Archie (32:28):
You're always welcome on the porch.
Shelly (32:32):
Bye bye.
Oh, I messed it up again.
Archie (32:36):
Oh, don't worry.
We'll get the hang of it.
Joe (32:43):
This has been a Not Quite Right Goods production.
Starring Joe Laureiro as Archieand Holland Renton as Shelly
written, directed and edited byHolland Renton.
Music sourced via Descript stocklibrary.
You ever notice how a Southern thunderstorm knows just
when to make an entrance?
Shelly (00:07):
Why is one starting to brew?
Archie (00:09):
Yep.
Just started rumbling outside.
Y'all probably can't hear it.
I got this new mic here thatblocks out everything but
existential dread, but I swearthat thunder rolled in the
second we hit record.
Dang.
Okay.
Okay.
That one just rattled the garagedoor.
Shelly (00:25):
Well, it's a safe 70 and sunny here.
Archie (00:28):
Well, like always.
Shelly (00:30):
Maybe we should reschedule.
Archie (00:31):
No.
Uh, I'm probably fine if thelights go out.
Everything's wireless now.
Got three portable chargers,full battery on the laptop, and
a headlamp if the live from thescreen ain't doing the trick.
Shelly (00:43):
It sounds like you've got quite the setup.
Yeah,
Archie (00:46):
well, you know me prepared, not paranoid.
That's the line I try to walk.
Shelly (00:51):
I do know you, but the audience may not.
So how about we get to theintro?
Archie (00:57):
Well lead us off then.
Shelly (00:59):
Hi there.
I'm Shelly.
Archie (01:01):
And I'm Archie.
And welcome to the porch for
Shelly (01:05):
Two Frogs.
Two
Archie (01:06):
Frogs.
Shelly (01:07):
Talking.
Archie (01:07):
Talking.
One part telling tales,
Shelly (01:10):
one part talking life.
All parts.
All parts a bit bit, bit notquiet.
Archie (01:16):
Quiet.
Shelly (01:17):
Right.
Archie (01:17):
Right.
I try to match the forecast tothe theme makes for a richer
atmosphere.
Shelly (01:24):
Well, today's theme fits.
This week we're talking aboutthings that defy explanation.
Archie (01:31):
Mm-hmm.
Stuff you can't reason your waythrough stuff that shows up,
messes with your head, and thenvanishes before you can prove it
ever happened.
Shelly (01:39):
You know, life is full of those little wait, what just
happened moments.
Archie (01:43):
Yeah.
You live long enough, youcollect a few scratches on your
belief system.
Shelly (01:47):
Some of them never quite buff out.
Archie (01:49):
And as always, we didn't tell each other our tales ahead
of time.
That's the producer's job.
She makes sure we're not bothtalking about a haunted ice
machine or something like that.
Shelly (01:59):
Wait, you didn't choose that one?
Archie (02:02):
Nah, I went with something different.
I didn't want to tell one you'veheard a million times.
Shelly (02:07):
If Archie sounds a little sore, it's because this
story is a family favorite andhe's never lived it down.
Archie (02:15):
Okay, well I'd have the record show that haunted ice
machines are a thing.
Shelly (02:19):
I think if you want the record to show something, you
have to offer evidence.
Archie (02:24):
Okay.
Is that a challenge?
Shelly (02:25):
A small one.
Archie (02:26):
Alright.
All right, fine.
It's not today's tale, but sinceyou brought it up, well, I guess
I brought it up.
In any case, I was four.
We were out west visitingShelly's, folks staying in one
of those roadside motels withthe two bed set up and a
stubborn ice machine just acrossthe hall.
(02:47):
I was sleeping in the same bedas my big brother, Billy.
He was 14 cooler than I'd everbe and somehow still patient
with me.
Shelly (02:56):
Billie was the best.
Archie (02:58):
He was.
I miss him every day.
Shelly (03:01):
I know you do.
Archie (03:02):
So anyway, uh, it was the middle of the night.
I wake up to pee.
On my way back.
I hear a sound outside.
It's my name whispered.
Real slow.
Aaarrrcchhieee, ooh,
Shelly (03:18):
not, not something I'd want to hear.
Nope,
Archie (03:21):
I froze.
Froze for a moment, not believein what I was hearing.
And then it came again, Archielonger and louder this time.
I think if I had any pee left inme, my PJ's would've been wet.
Shelly (03:37):
Oh no, no.
That's really scared.
Archie (03:40):
Yeah, it was.
I was petrified and I dove backinto the bed and right under
those covers I must havedisturbed Billy with my shaking.
'cause he rolled over and hetells me, Hey, cut it out.
But.
He listened when I explainedwhat was happening and then we
sat there in silence.
Nothing.
Shelly (03:59):
Of course, it's like ghosts have a second sense for
making you look foolish orsomething.
It's a gift.
Archie (04:05):
Well, a gift.
This one had it in spades'causethe second he started snoring it
came back.
Same voice, same callAaarrrccchhiiee.
Now I wanted to go check.
I felt compelled to, but my gutsaid Uhuh, no way.
(04:25):
And besides, I doubt my legswould've carried me, so I stayed
put head under the blanketlistening to that voice, calling
for what felt like hours.
Shelly (04:35):
And nobody woke up because of it.
Archie (04:38):
Nope.
Not even when the next thinghappened.
Banging metallic sound, followedby some unexplainable sound like
a, like a bunch of rocks fallinto the ground at the same
time.
And I mean, a bunch.
I'd never heard anything likeit.
I couldn't take it anymore.
I screamed, ah, I woke up thewhole damn room.
Shelly (04:59):
The noise didn't wake them, but your scream did.
Archie (05:03):
Yeah.
Sure did.
Makes no sense that sound wasloud, had to be louder than my
scream.
Shelly (05:08):
So everybody's awake now.
Archie (05:11):
Everybody's awake in my room, probably the adjoining
rooms and all thanks to me.
Now, I explained to my parents,of course, they, they agree to
investigate.
My dad opens the door and that'swhen he sees it.
The ice machine ice had explodedout of it.
A pile of cubes, half as tall asthe machine itself laid out in
front of it and all spilled outinto the hall, right, reached
(05:33):
right up into the door.
Shelly (05:34):
That is a lot of ice.
Archie (05:36):
Exactly right now, there's no way all that ice came
from that machine.
And dad, when he went down tothe night clerk, the guy says,
oh, that machine just beenserviced two days ago, so it
shouldn't be busted.
Shelly (05:47):
So the logical conclusion is it's haunted.
Archie (05:51):
I know what I heard and I know what I saw, and I'm
telling you that machine washaunted or cursed or hungry,
whatever it was.
I make it a practice not to stayin motel rooms near ice machines
anymore.
Shelly (06:05):
I see a merch tie-in.
Beware hotel ice machines.
Archie (06:10):
Yeah.
Very, very tempting.
Mm-hmm.
But today's tie-in is, don'tknow what I saw, but I saw it.
Shelly (06:17):
Well, that's very profound.
Archie (06:19):
Mm-hmm.
It is on the Front PorchPhilosopher series.
Shelly (06:22):
Your own collection of wisdoms.
Maw-maw would be so proud.
Archie (06:27):
Yeah, I don't know, but she didn't like it much when
people dumbed down complicatedstuff.
Not that she wanted to keepthings difficult, it's just that
she believed you had to give abody a chance to get it.
And if that took time, then ittook time.
Shelly (06:41):
You're not dumbing things down, you're just being
economical with your words.
She definitely approve.
I bet she even wears some of themerch, and I know for sure she
would have all of the mugs.
Archie (06:54):
Oh, that woman sure did like her mugs, didn't she?
Shelly (06:56):
I've never seen such a collection, a whole room devoted
to mugs.
It was a site to behold.
Archie (07:01):
Oh my.
My mama had a time dealing withthat.
After she passed, she had tospread all the mugs to every
thrift store in the county.
It was too big of a collection.
I mean, a store would just beoverflowing with mugs, Maw-maw's
Shelly (07:14):
mugs.
Maw-maw's mugs.
Why did we start talking aboutmugs?
You know what?
Why don't we actually starttalking about the real stories
for this week?
Good idea.
All right.
Well, let me tell you then aboutthe time the Bell witch.
May have hitched a ride homewith me.
Wait, the Bell Witch, like theone that haunted that family in
(07:36):
Tennessee in like the 18hundreds?
Archie (07:39):
Yep.
That's her, the Bell family,Adams, Tennessee.
Now she was relentless,whispers, scratches, full-blown
shouting matches in the middleof the night.
Shelly (07:50):
Right.
And some famous general showedup to investigate and got run
off.
Archie (07:55):
Andrew Jackson.
Yeah.
But, but before he waspresident.
He rolled in with a wagon teamand a whole party of men,
including, and I get this, aso-called witch tamer.
Shelly (08:06):
Oh, a witch tamer.
That sounds like a job someonegave themselves.
Archie (08:10):
Exactly.
Now, this gentleman was braggingthe whole way there.
He said he had a silver bulletbible and a plan to drive the
spirit out.
Shelly (08:17):
Hmm.
Let me guess the Bell Witch wasnot impressed.
Shoot.
Archie (08:21):
Not even a little bit.
No.
Supposedly as soon as they gotclose, the wagon froze up.
Wouldn't move horses dug in.
Then a voice outta nowhere says"You may proceed." Boom.
Wheels unlock.
Shelly (08:36):
No, I mean, that would be enough to make me wanna turn
around.
Archie (08:40):
Yeah.
Well, they were there to savethe family.
they just couldn't go back.
They'd look like a bunch ofcowards.
Shelly (08:46):
Fear of judgment.
It'll get you every time.
Archie (08:48):
In any case, that night, the so-called witch tamer, he
gets slapped clean outta hiscot, and Jackson's whole crew
gets tormented slaps andwhispers cold spots.
And by the morning, Jackson'slike, all right, I'm done.
And he hightails it outta there.
Shelly (09:04):
So the ghost didn't just haunt them, it played with them.
Archie (09:07):
Apparently and in harsh ways.
Anyway, I'm getting carriedaway.
That's the legend.
My story picks up a couplehundred years later, not far
from the old Bell property.
A detail, my buddy Nolan leftout.
Shelly (09:23):
Well, that's a friend.
Fail.
Archie (09:24):
To this day, I have no idea why he didn't tell me or
why he chose that spot.
Uh, now this is when I'm in mytwenties and still carefree
about things, you know, and Itrusted Nolan, so there's no
reason to ask too many questionsabout where we're going.
Shelly (09:39):
Did he give you any info at all?
Archie (09:42):
Sure.
He said it'd be quiet and offthe grid and good for thinking.
He just left out that the spotwas about a mile away from where
the Bell family once lived.
Shelly (09:52):
Well, that is a pretty big detail to leave out.
Right?
Archie (09:56):
I mean, I thought we were just gonna go fish, maybe
overcook some beanie weenies anddrink a few too many cold ones.
Shelly (10:02):
Sounds magical.
Archie (10:04):
But it wasn't.
Mm-hmm.
It was so still, I'm talking toostill.
Woods didn't make a sound.
No bugs, no birds, no breezethrough the trees.
Just a big old hush, like theland was holding its bread.
Shelly (10:18):
Ooh.
It's never a good sign whennature is too silent.
Archie (10:22):
Hair on the back of my neck was standing on end, and if
I'd had more sense, I would'vecalled an audible right there.
Shelly (10:27):
Why didn't you?
Archie (10:29):
I didn't wanna look like a fool.
Shelly (10:30):
Hmm.
Fear of judgment.
Archie (10:32):
Yeah.
Plus Nolan, well, he, he didn'tseem to be bothered by it at
all, so I figured it was justme.
Well, we set up camp and, uh,the first night it feels odd,
but it's uneventful.
Although Nolan wasn't actingparticular himself.
But
Shelly (10:48):
Wait, how wasn't he acting himself?
Archie (10:50):
Well, he was quiet and brooden.
Now, normally if you know Nolan,he could hold a conversation
with a wall, and I swear thatman wore a smile more than any
other expression, and
Shelly (11:02):
You didn't think to ask if something was wrong?
Archie (11:03):
Well, that's, that's not really a thing most guys do,
Shelly, especially in theirtwenties.
I'd like to think it's somethingI'd say now, but anyway, that's
not how things played out.
Shelly (11:13):
It's that judgment thing again.
And they say females are thesensitive ones.
Archie (11:19):
Who's sensitive?
I, I got the thickest skin.
Shelly (11:21):
Overcompensate much?
Archie (11:23):
What?
Okay.
Okay.
All right.
You win.
Anyway, moving on.
We, uh, we spent the next dayfishing for our dinner.
Right.
And we managed to land a couple,I mean, nothing flashy, but
enough to fill our belliesanyway.
Shelly (11:39):
Oh man.
There is nothing like fresh fishcooked over a open flame.
My tummy starting to grumble.
Archie (11:44):
Well, the sun starts setting and we get to building
the fire.
We get a starter going, and thenNolan heads off to go get more
sticks, and I stay behind withthe fire feeding it some small
twigs we had, so it'd be readyfor the wood when Nolan got
back.
And then I hear it real soft.
(12:05):
Whispering not words.
I could make out just this lowbreathy sound like the wind,
trying to figure out how tospeak.
And then I feel a flick on theback of my neck.
And then I hear it real soft,whispering.
Uh, not words.
I could make out just this lowbreathy sound like the wind,
(12:31):
trying to figure out how tospeak, and then I feel a flick
on the back of my neck.
Oh.
Mm-hmm.
And no, it made me jump to myfeet and turn around and.
Nothing.
Nothing.
No, nothing.
Now I have it in my mind.
Okay.
Nolan must be playing a prank onme, which would be like the
(12:52):
Nolan I know, but there's nosign of him.
Of course there isn't.
I would've heard him sneaking upon me.
Shelly (12:58):
Unless he was some kind of ninja.
Archie (13:00):
He certainly wasn't that more like a bull in a China
shop, but there's no sign ofhim.
Right.
So I gather myself, turn backaround to deal with the fire,
and it's gone.
Shelly (13:13):
What's gone?
Archie (13:14):
The fire.
Gone.
Gone.
Yeah.
Like it was never lit.
Cold stones, cold coals from thenight before and, and a little
twig pile ready to be lit.
And the air was different.
Like it was pressing in aroundme.
Shelly (13:32):
Oh, heavy air.
That's never a good thing.
Archie (13:35):
No, I tell you.
It didn't feel good.
Not at all.
And that's about the time whenNolan comes back.
He sees the, the fires out andhe, he asks, why'd I squash it?
Now I explained the whole thingand he just looks at me stone
faced for a moment, juststanding there.
He was way past awkward when hefinally says, yep, we're on Bell
(13:57):
Witch land.
Shelly (13:59):
And did you know what that meant then?
Archie (14:01):
No, not a clue.
So he goes on to tell me thelegend, and then he says, some
folks think the spirit neverleft, just waits for
unsuspecting folks.
Shelly (14:12):
Why?
Archie (14:14):
He never said, just left it open like that.
Shelly (14:17):
Oh.
Oh no.
I don't like that.
That's unsettling.
Archie (14:20):
Yeah.
Tell me about it.
Now, at this point, I'm tryingreal hard to act like I'm not
spooked, but my skin is buzzinglike I stuck a fork in a socket.
I bet.
Now we decide, well, I decidewe're leaving first thing in the
morning.
Shelly (14:37):
Why didn't you just leave then?
Archie (14:38):
Well, Nolan was adamant that we spend the night again,
no reason, and it was hisvehicle.
Best I could do was a sunrisebreakdown and exit.
Shelly (14:50):
That is why I always make sure I'm in control of the
keys.
Archie (14:53):
Well, lesson learned.
Mm-hmm.
Guarantee you that night Ibarely slept every snap of a
twig, every rustle of the tent,any unidentifiable sound, which
was all the sounds that night,it seemed.
I'm listening, but nothinghappens.
Shelly (15:11):
Really.
Nothing.
Yep.
Nothing.
Archie (15:13):
Nope.
Shelly (15:15):
Well, well that was a big build up for a short let
down.
Archie (15:19):
Well now hold on.
The story's not over yet.
Okay.
We pack up and we head out thenext morning, and Nolan, he's
even more quiet and broody thewhole ride back.
Shelly (15:29):
Well, I bet that was a super fun ride.
Archie (15:31):
Shoot.
I've never been so glad for theradio, but here's the part I
still can't explain.
Shelly (15:38):
In addition to the self extinguishing fire.
Archie (15:41):
Yeah.
In addition to that, I get homeand everything should feel
normal.
But it doesn't, something's offand I can't put my finger on it.
I'm uneasy, but I decide, lemmetake a shower.
Shelly (15:56):
Well, I mean, you've got to get the stink off.
Archie (15:59):
That's what I figured, huh?
But it was probably the fastestshower I've ever taken.
Feeling like you got eyes on,you'll speed up your routine.
So now I towel off and I getdressed and I figure it's time
to eat something, and that'swhen I notice it.
My porch light, which is on atimer mm-hmm.
Is flickering.
Yep.
(16:19):
Not off and on like you'dexpect, but just, just
fluttering like a firefly goingin and out.
Now I step outside toinvestigate and sitting right in
the middle of my doormat is ascorched twig.
Blackened on the one end.
Fresh on the other.
Shelly (16:37):
Like from your campfire.
Archie (16:39):
Exactly like that.
But I hadn't brought any halfburnt twig back from the fire
and it wasn't there when I camehome.
It just showed up.
So.
Shelly (16:49):
So you think it followed you home?
Archie (16:51):
I don't know what I think, but I left that twig
right where it was.
The porch light fixed itself twodays later and get this, there
was no trace to that twig.
Shelly (17:01):
Well, the twig could have blown away.
Archie (17:04):
True but strange considering that it showed up
out of the blue and the lightfixed itself once it went away.
And then my place startedfeeling normal again too.
Shelly (17:15):
Whoa.
What about Nolan?
Archie (17:18):
See, that's the other thing, like I said, on the ride
home, he wasn't joking, hewasn't talking, just sort of
staring out the window.
Like he'd left something behind
Shelly (17:27):
or maybe brought something back.
Archie (17:31):
My thoughts.
Exactly.
I checked in once or twice afterthat.
He barely responded.
I got the feeling he didn't wantme around and I don't have to be
told twice.
And one day he just moved.
Goodbye.
No explanation.
Just gone.
Shelly (17:49):
Like the twig.
Archie (17:51):
Yep.
And I can't explain any of it.
Shelly (17:54):
Whoa.
Well that's a good one.
Arch, good story.
Archie (17:59):
Oh, thank you.
Thank you.
I appreciate that.
Well, uh, anyway, you're up.
What do you have for us?
Shelly (18:05):
Well, as it so happens, we both have camping stories.
Archie (18:09):
Uh, you know, what they say about Great Mind.
Shelly (18:10):
I do.
Okay.
So mine happened just this pastsummer.
I'd been feeling cooped up andRalph needed a change of scenery
and I had a weekend free.
So I loaded up the Jeep and Iheaded out toward Joshua Tree
for some dispersed camping.
Just me, the desert, and Ralph.
Archie (18:31):
Now see that Jeep seen more dust than a broom in a wood
shop.
Shelly (18:34):
It served me well, that's for sure.
Archie (18:36):
If that's the case, you should think about naming her.
Shelly (18:38):
Who says it's a she, and naming vehicles is your thing,
not mine.
Archie (18:43):
Oh, fair point.
Shelly (18:44):
So I find the spot behind a massive boulder that
protected me from the wind andgave an anchor to that wide open
landscape.
Archie (18:53):
Oh, all that openness can be a bit unsettling.
Shelly (18:55):
It can be for folks, not used to it, but for me it feels
like there's just room tobreathe and be,
Archie (19:03):
maybe I need to spend some more time out there.
'cause that's not the feeling Igot when I took that one trip.
Shelly (19:08):
You're always welcome out here, cousin.
I'd love to have you along, kindof need to make up for that last
trip anyway.
Archie (19:15):
I didn't know wind could blow that hard.
Shelly (19:17):
It was my mistake for not checking the wind forecast.
Out here, it's not the weatherthat you have to check, but the
wind.
Archie (19:24):
Yeah, well it, it did make things quite unpleasant.
Shelly (19:27):
It wasn't the wind this time that ruined the trip.
It was something altogetherdifferent.
Archie (19:31):
Still ruined trips, make for good story.
Shelly (19:34):
That they do.
And this story starts out likeany one of my many camping
trips.
I get to camp, I get my tentjust like I want it.
I get my fire pit up running andI start heating up some chowder.
Archie (19:48):
Chowder.
Shelly (19:49):
I found soup is an excellent camp meal, especially
the hardy ones.
Archie (19:53):
I tend to agree.
Now, what's your recipe forthis?
Shelly (19:55):
Oh, nothing fancy, just the can.
A little thyme, cracked pepper,and I pair it with a baguette.
I snagged from a bakery on theway out of town.
Archie (20:05):
You've given Ralph chowder too.
Shelly (20:07):
Of course not.
That is way too rich for hisstomach.
He gets his usual rice, beef andcarrot mix.
Archie (20:15):
Listeners, that dog eats better than I do.
I've seen her dog food prep andI cried for my own childhood.
Shelly (20:22):
Don't let your mama hear that.
Archie (20:24):
Oh, Shoot.
You're right.
Sorry, mama.
I'm sorry.
I was just, I was just drawingan analogy for the purposes of
the story.
I meant nothing by it.
I swear.
Aunt
Shelly (20:31):
Claire is an excellent cook among other things.
Archie (20:34):
And that that right there is why you're her favorite
niece on this side of thefamily.
Shelly (20:37):
I am the only niece.
I have all male cousins.
Archie (20:40):
Yeah, and you're the better for it.
Shelly (20:42):
You'd like to think that, wouldn't you?
Archie (20:44):
I would.
Yeah.
Shelly (20:47):
Anyway, why don't we get back to the story.
The sun is starting to dip andRalph gets twitchy, not scared,
just on edge watching thehorizon and ignoring his meal.
He won't relax and it is makingit hard for me to enjoy my meal,
but, but I'm trying the best Ican and I'm watching the last of
(21:10):
that purple light fade to black.
And just when the last lightgoes, Ralph starts to growl low.
I look over at him and hishackles are up.
Archie (21:24):
Oh, that's no good.
Shelly (21:25):
No, it's not.
So I look out where it lookslike he's looking, and that's
when I notice the light.
It's far off at first.
Soft, golden, almost like alantern, but it's not bouncing
like a person walking it.
It's floating, drifting kind ofsmooth, like.
(21:48):
Gliding, huh?
And then the voice starts.
Archie (21:54):
Oh boy.
Not a voice.
Shelly (21:57):
Faint at first.
Just a sound like someonecalling, like no words I can
make out more like tones.
hhhhheeeellllpppp.
Ralph Growled, deepened, and gotlouder.
That low primal nope sound thatdogs can make that sound that
(22:18):
sends your own neck hairs on endnow.
Archie (22:21):
Oh, yep.
Shelly (22:21):
I'm not new to desert lore.
I have read about these lights.
Stories say that they beckon youfrom the safety of your camp
with false cries for help, andif you follow them, you don't
come back.
Archie (22:37):
Well, you're still here, so I guess you didn't follow.
Shelly (22:40):
No.
And like you, I stayed.
Archie (22:43):
Well then I guess I could ask you the same question
you asked me.
Shelly (22:46):
You could, and my answer would be the same.
Archie (22:48):
That you didn't wanna look foolish in front of Nolan.
Shelly (22:50):
Funny.
Nope.
Just thought I was beingfoolish.
So instead of leaving, I ditchedthe tent and I moved my sleeping
gear into the Jeep.
Archie (23:01):
Oh, hang on you.
You slept in the Jeep?
Shelly (23:03):
Yep.
Not the comfiest.
Two-door wranglers got space formaybe half a being in the back.
So Ralph and I were boy packedin tight.
I kept the lights off, the doorslocked, and luckily I decided to
leave the hard top on.
Archie (23:17):
Oh, well, yeah, you would've been a sitting duck
without the top.
Shelly (23:19):
I know.
So there we are, Ralph and mepacked into the Jeep, him
growling and me trying not tolook.
But every now and then, when Icouldn't stand it, I'd peek and
that flickering light was stillout there.
And of course it was,'cause ifyou listened close, you could
still hear the calling.
Archie (23:39):
Ooh, I don't know if I could have stood that.
Shelly (23:41):
I kept my music going and my earbuds in, and I never
opened the door no matter howstrong the sensation got to do
it.
I never looked too long at thelight, just glances.
Although I've gotta say therewas a really strong urge to keep
on looking.
Archie (23:58):
Well, yeah, there was.
It was hypnotizing you.
There's no telling what would'vehappened if you'd have kept
staring.
We might not be talking rightnow.
Shelly (24:07):
Well, I think it was Ralph that kept me straight.
I mean, he never stoppedgrowling, and that made me keep
my wits about me.
Archie (24:13):
oh now Ralph growled.
Shelly (24:15):
All night.
All night.
Well, the part when we wereawake.
Archie (24:19):
Y'all fell asleep.
Shelly (24:21):
Yeah.
As impossible as it seems, wemust have both fallen asleep in
the early morning hours.
I came to with the first light,cresting the horizon, and all I
could see and hear was wide opendesert.
No calling, no light, nothing.
Except for one single desertflower, fresh and purple, laying
(24:46):
in the center of the fire pit.
And here's the thing, there wereno footprints leading into camp.
None.
But that flower was placedthere.
Archie (24:58):
No, that, that's not nature.
That's a message.
Shelly (25:01):
Yeah, and I got it loud and clear.
Stay alert, stay skeptical, andalways trust your dog.
Archie (25:06):
I'm curious.
Could you find that spot again?
Shelly (25:10):
What on earth for?
Archie (25:12):
Well, doesn't it ever cross your mind?
Uh, go check it out again.
Shelly (25:17):
Uh, no.
There's plenty of desert outthere.
I steer well clear of that area.
Archie (25:22):
but don't you ever feel like you need to go back
Shelly (25:25):
No.
Why?
You're not thinking of trying tofind that camping spot on the
Bell Witch land, are you?
Archie (25:31):
No.
Of course not.
Shelly (25:33):
Good,
Archie (25:34):
but I'd be lying if I said that.
I haven't dreamt about it.
Shelly (25:37):
Really?
Archie (25:38):
Hard, too, real vivid dreams about it.
I don't know about twice, threetimes a week
Shelly (25:45):
Arch.
That's concerning.
You'd tell someone before youtook off, right?
Archie (25:50):
Well, well, I'm, I'm not planning to go.
I'm just dreaming about it.
Shelly (25:53):
Good.
Archie (25:55):
But the dreams, they're getting stronger and stronger
now that I think about it morefrequent.
Shelly (26:01):
Okay?
You have to promise me thatyou'll call me if you find
yourself packing up Betsy for aroad trip to those parts.
Archie (26:08):
Why?
Shelly (26:08):
Why are you kidding me?
I don't want you to turn intoNolan.
That's why.
Archie (26:15):
I am only messing with you.
Calm down.
Oh, still?
Shelly (26:19):
God, get me all worked up.
Archie (26:21):
Yo, it's a special gift.
What can't I say?
Shelly (26:24):
Remember the time you and Billy had me convinced that
my belly button was a plug, andif it got loose, I would go
flying around the room like ahelium balloon with a hole in
it.
Archie (26:34):
Oh man, that was a good one.
Billy pulled it on me before wepulled it on you.
I spent
Shelly (26:39):
the whole summer protecting my belly button.
Archie (26:42):
Like your life depended on it.
Because
Shelly (26:44):
it did, even though Billy did tell me not to worry
too much because he had aspecial tool that could help get
the plug back in if I started toleak.
He just needed to be close by soI wouldn't lose too much air.
I didn't let him out of myeyesight.
And you, you, you kept remindingme that while Billy could get
the plug in, he couldn't pump meback up.
Archie (27:07):
See now that that was my own twist.
Billy didn't know about that.
He was far too kindhearted toleave you worried about a
lifelong deflation issue.
Shelly (27:15):
Oh God.
I had images of me walkingaround half deflated for the
rest of my life.
Little 4-year-old me.
It is a core memory.
Archie (27:24):
Well, I happy to have helped Thanks for the detour.
Good Billy memory always bringsa smile to my heart.
Shelly (27:30):
I guess he's on my mind since we talked about him
earlier.
Archie (27:33):
Yeah, makes sense.
Uh, now, uh, where were we?
Shelly (27:39):
Recapping the stories, which are one with a witch, self
extinguish fires and amysterious twig and a brooding
friend and the other with ghostlights, disembodied voices, and
a floral calling card.
Archie (27:53):
And in both cases, nothing we can prove, just
something we'll never quiteforget.
And, we sure as heck can'texplain.
Shelly (28:02):
Which brings us to our weekly brain snack, quote time.
Archie (28:07):
Righty.
Now, each week we, uh, bringsomething from a favorite
thinker to help shine a littlelight or maybe throw a little
more shadow on the theme.
Shelly (28:16):
Are you gonna throw some shade this week?
Archie (28:19):
No, it just came out like that.
Shelly (28:21):
Oh, did it Now
Archie (28:24):
it did.
Shelly (28:26):
Okay.
I don't know what to say tothat.
Archie (28:28):
Nothing to say.
Shelly (28:29):
Are you seven again?
Archie (28:31):
What do you mean?
Shelly (28:34):
All this poking at me?
Archie (28:36):
I guess the weather has me in a boyish mood.
Shelly (28:39):
Thunderstorms bring that out in you, huh?
Archie (28:41):
Yeah, it seems so.
But I, I'll, I'll try to behavemyself from here on out.
Shelly (28:45):
Good.
Because we're at the seriousthinking part Archie.
Archie (28:48):
Mm-hmm.
Are
Shelly (28:49):
you ready?
Archie (28:50):
I'm ready as I'll ever be.
Shelly (28:52):
My quote today is from physicist Richard Feynman.
"I would rather have questionsthat can't be answered, than
answers that can't bequestioned."
Archie (29:02):
Well, I'll tell you, it would be a boring world if we
couldn't question things, butnot getting an answer is pretty
unsatisfying.
Shelly (29:10):
Or unnerving.
We've got two stories where anitem, and both times it's a
piece of nature.
We're just there unexplained,but clearly there with a
purpose.
Archie (29:19):
and we'll never know what will we, which brings me to
my quote.
"There are more things in heavenand Earth, Horatio than are in
your philosophy.
Shelly (29:30):
Old Willie Shakes.
Archie (29:32):
that's right.
Hamlet's talking to his friend.
See, and he just seen the ghostof his father and he's very
unsettled.
Horatio is trying to talk himdown off the ledge, so to speak,
using reason.
and Hamlet.
Is having none of it.
He knows what he saw and heknows what he heard.
And now he's got a lot ofquestions
Shelly (29:52):
But to be fair, I mean, I think I'd have a lot of
questions too.
If the ghost of my fatherappeared to me and told me my
uncle, who is now married to mymother is his murderer, and that
I need to take revenge withoutharming her, and on top of
everything, he's suffering inthe afterlife because he didn't
(30:12):
receive last rights.
Archie (30:14):
It would be a lot to take in, that's for sure.
Horatio even says, these are butwild and whirling words, but he
stands by Hamlet.
Although what Hamlet's basicallysaying is that A, a ghost is
ordering me to murder my uncle,and I'm gonna do it.
Shelly (30:30):
He swears by it.
Archie (30:32):
He does, even though he doesn't know how he's gonna do
it yet.
Shelly (30:36):
So the ghost absolutely defies explanation, but Hamlet
accepts that he can't explainit, but the inability to explain
it doesn't mean it didn'thappen.
Archie (30:47):
Right.
And of course, Hamlet goes on toprove everything that Ghost said
was true.
Shelly (30:52):
And everyone ends up dead in the end.
Archie (30:55):
Yeah.
It's a tragedy.
Shelly (30:56):
Mm-hmm.
Archie (30:58):
Well.
Anyway, less, we're gonnaexplore more of the themes and
lessons in Hamlet.
I think that wraps up thisweek's dip into the
inexplicable.
Shelly (31:06):
Head to our Instagram at not quite right goods and vote
for the story and teller youthink is the better tell.
Was it Archie and the spirit whomay or may not have hitched a
ride back from Adams, Tennessee?
Archie (31:18):
Or Shelly alone in the desert with her Jeep, her dog,
and one very suspicious lantern.
Shelly (31:24):
And hey, if you like today's episodes, you can snag a
piece of t-shirt form or stickerform over at not quite right
goods.com.
Archie (31:32):
Mm-hmm.
Now this week's feature a new Tfor the Front Porch Philosopher
series.
Don't know what I saw, but I sawit.
Perfect for Ghost Chasers, deepthinkers, and anyone who's seen
the unexplainable.
And you can find it and all ourother sideways wisdom at not
quite right goods.com.
Shelly (31:51):
And yes, this is Two Frogs Talking, but remember, our
home is at not quite rightgoods.com.
You'll find our podcast pagethere as well as Archie's
musings, in a blog, along withall the merch we have to offer.
Archie (32:04):
And send a note.
Why don't you, we, we wouldn'tmind hearing from you.
Tell us what you think.
But, uh, be mindful.
'cause, uh, frogs have feelingstoo.
Uh, are you gonna do it?
Shelly (32:19):
Do what?
Archie (32:20):
you have to say your next line.
Shelly (32:23):
Oh.
I thought you were gonna saymore.
My bad.
Thanks for sitting with us.
Archie (32:28):
You're always welcome on the porch.
Shelly (32:32):
Bye bye.
Oh, I messed it up again.
Archie (32:36):
Oh, don't worry.
We'll get the hang of it.
Joe (32:43):
This has been a Not Quite Right Goods production.
Starring Joe Laureiro as Archieand Holland Renton as Shelly
written, directed and edited byHolland Renton.
Music sourced via Descript stocklibrary.
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