June 18, 2025 • 30 mins
🎙 Episode 4: Short Attention Span Adventures
Some adventures start with a plan. These didn’t.
This week, Archie and Shelly follow the trail of distractions that led to much more than either of them intended. Archie meets someone with a curious connection to a folk legend and a habit of planting things that don’t quite belong. Shelly brings a desert tale of warnings ignored, trails misread, and a voice that was right all along.
Also in this episode:
- Porch philosophy with Seneca and a mysterious trail guide pamphlet
- The perils of wandering attention and why it’s sometimes the best detour
- A soft spot for forgotten intentions and half-finished maps
đź’¬ Listener Vote:
Which tale turned distraction into destiny? Cast your vote at notquiterightgoods.com/pages/two-frogs-talking or on Instagram @notquiterightgoods.
🛍 This Week’s Tee:
From the Stick Figure collection: “I came, I saw, I forgot what I was doing.”
Your official uniform for spontaneous adventures and abandoned to-do lists.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Archie (00:01):
It looks like we might get a clean start.
Shelly (00:03):
Hope we don't prove you wrong.
Archie (00:04):
Uh, only one way to find out.
Shelly (00:06):
Okay, here we go.
Hi there.
I'm Shelly.
Archie (00:12):
And I'm Archie.
Shelly (00:13):
And you found us on the porch for
Frogs.
Talking, Talking.
Archie (00:20):
One part telling tales,
Shelly (00:22):
one part talking life.
All parts.
Archie (00:24):
All parts.
A bit, a bit
Shelly (00:26):
not,
Archie (00:27):
not quite right, quite right.
Shelly (00:31):
Banter and forgetfulness and distractions.
Uh oh.
Oops.
I wasn't supposed to read thatout loud, was I?
No, no.
Not unless we're making producernotes part of the show now.
Oh, I knew not to read that.
Oh, well, I mean, I guess thatproves the point, though.
Short attention spans can throwa wrench into things.
Archie (00:53):
Sometimes making for good laugh or a good story.
Shelly (00:57):
Honestly, this whole week's been like that for me.
I opened the fridge this morningand found my keys on top of the
yogurt.
Archie (01:05):
Hmm.
At least you put'em somewhere.
You, you'd find them.
Shelly (01:07):
And at least they weren't in the yogurt.
Archie (01:09):
Oh.
That, that would've put a newmeaning and stir before eating.
Shelly (01:12):
Oh, my fruit on the bottom would've tasted pretty
metallic.
Archie (01:16):
Yeah.
Nice way to start in themorning.
Shelly (01:18):
Mm.
Archie (01:18):
Well check this one out.
I ended last night in a bit ofthe same way.
I tried to call someone with theTV remote, just sat there
tapping volume up like I wasgoing to answer.
Shelly (01:30):
One time I made tea.
Forgot about it.
Came back three hours later andtried to reheat it with the bag
still in it.
Archie (01:40):
Oh, that's all right.
That's not so bad.
I definitely followedinstructions for a cake one
time.
Shelly (01:45):
Mm-hmm.
Archie (01:46):
And it turned out to be cornbread.
Shelly (01:47):
What kind of cake was it supposed to be?
Archie (01:50):
Red velvet.
I frosted it anyway.
Shelly (01:53):
You what?
Archie (01:54):
Oh yeah.
Yeah.
I was going to a potluck.
I couldn't show up empty handed.
Shelly (01:57):
A cream cheese frosting, cornbread cake.
I have to know.
Did you try it too?
Archie (02:04):
Now?
What do you think?
Course I did.
Shelly (02:06):
Oh, that is chaos baking.
Archie (02:09):
Well, it turned out to be delicious and it was the hit
of the potluck.
Shelly (02:13):
But you know, life is like that sometimes.
You start out one way and youend up a completely another way,
but maybe the better for it andhopefully intact.
Archie (02:25):
And, and nothing extra unless it's snacks.
Shelly (02:28):
You and your snacks.
Archie (02:30):
Never go anywhere without them.
Prepared, not
Shelly (02:34):
paranoid.
Archie (02:36):
You got it.
And you know who else was knownfor being prepared?
Who?
Mr.
Johnny Appleseed.
Uh, but before I start, today'stheme is"Distracted Adventures."
Shelly (02:48):
Hmm.
What kind of distractions are wetalking about?
Is it the kind where you walk ina room and forget why you walked
in, and then you find amisplaced shoe in a potted
plant, hopefully thanks to Ralphand not your own forgetfulness,
which leads you to remember youneed fertilizer?
And before you know it, you areat the only earthworm farm in
southern California gettingworms for the compost bin.
Archie (03:10):
And I bet you still don't know why you walked into
that room in the first place.
Shelly (03:14):
Not a clue.
But the compost bin is beingfully digested now.
Archie (03:18):
Well, that's great news, Shelly.
Poor digestion is no good evenfor compost bins.
Shelly (03:23):
Hmm.
You're right.
And sorry for the"distraction"Arch.
Archie (03:31):
See what you did there.
Shelly (03:32):
Uhhuh, you were saying?
Archie (03:34):
Right.
Well, I, I got another tale fromthat, uh, same cross country
summer in my twenties.
Uh, you know, the trip where Iended up helping Pecos Bill,
tame a tornado?
Shelly (03:43):
Or as I like to remember it, the time you got hooked by a
signpost.
Archie (03:47):
Yeah, you could call it that too, I guess.
But, uh, this happened a fewweeks before that little tornado
riding adventure.
Mm-hmm.
See, I was roaming the backroads in good old Betsy with
that oddball roadsideattractions, guidebook riding
shotgun.
Just me, Betsy, and a dog-earedguide to every world's largest
(04:08):
ball of something betweencoasts, exploring one quirky
stop after another.
Shelly (04:13):
And your tools.
Archie (04:15):
Yeah, of course.
And my tools.
Always my tools.
Shelly (04:18):
Mm-hmm.
That trip of your was the giftthat kept on giving, huh?
Archie (04:22):
You bet.
So imagine this, I'm drivingthrough the Midwest on a
sweltering afternoon on thelookout for a quote unquote
"mystery orchard" listed in myguidebook.
Somewhere outside one of theseone stoplight towns, I pull over
at a roadside clearing where acrooked wooden sign promises
world's smallest apple museumone mile, and there's this
(04:48):
crooked arrow pointing towardthe direction I wasn't headed.
But I figured I might as wellhave a look.
It wasn't on a map or in mydirection, but some of the best
finds aren't
Shelly (04:58):
on a map or in our path.
Following maw-maw's wisdom.
Archie (05:03):
Well, it's never proved me wrong as far as I can tell.
Well, before I get to themuseum, I notice a fella in the
field next door scatteringhandfuls of seeds every which
way.
Like he's feeding pigeons only,there aren't any birds, just him
and those seeds.
And he's a lanky guy.
Overalls dusty from the road, abig messenger bag over one
(05:25):
shoulder, and I swear, hand toGod, a cooking pot on his head.
Shelly (05:31):
Wait a second.
A cooking pot as a hat.
Archie (05:34):
Exactly.
That's right, an upside down tinpot.
Right on his head.
Like he's ready to boil stew onhis noggin.
I immediately think JohnnyAppleseed, real name John
Chapman.
Mm-hmm.
The folk hero who wandered thefrontier planting apple trees
everywhere he went.
Wore tin pot for a hat andeverything.
Shelly (05:52):
So here's where Mr.
Appleseed comes in.
Are you telling me you metJohnny Appleseed?
Archie (05:59):
No, no, not, not the original.
I mean, he's been gone since the1840s, but darn if this fellow
didn't look like his spittingimage in modern form.
Well, I, I hop on out of Betsyand I walk over, curiosity
getting the best of me.
I say,"Howdy.
That's an interesting gardeningget up you got there." He turns
(06:19):
around real slow, like tippingthe tin pot hat politely.
And he says.
"They call me'Seed.'"
Shelly (06:25):
So"Seed" is his name.
Archie (06:27):
Just seed.
Yep.
Fitting too.
Considering he's literallysowing seeds all over creation.
I mean, the ground around us ispeppered with little seeds he's
flung, none of them in any neatrows or labeled or anything.
Just a wild scatter shot gardenin the making.
Shelly (06:43):
And he's wearing a tin pot hat?
Archie (06:45):
Yep.
And I can't help but ask himabout that hat.
He gives me a gap tooth grin.
"Great, great, great GrandPappy's idea.
"He says.
Shelly (06:55):
And you're going to tell me that's Johnny Appleseed, he's
referring to.
Archie (06:59):
Sure am.
It turns out he's a directdescendant of Johnny Appleseed.
Whoa.
Mm-hmm.
Seed tells me he's honoring thefamily tradition, traveling the
land and planting seeds whereverhe roams.
But unlike his famous ancestor,he's not just planting apple
trees.
Oh no.
Oh, no.
(07:19):
Seeds' got pouches full of allkinds of mystery seeds.
Uh, he, he had apple, peach,pecan, wild flowers, cactus, you
name it.
If it's a seed, he'll find aspot and plunk it in the ground.
No labels.
No maps.
He reckons Mother Nature shoulddecide what grows where.
Shelly (07:40):
Well, I guess that's one way to do things, but seems kind
of scattershot to me and maybe abit wasteful.
But, I guess the birds don'tmind a free buffet.
Archie (07:49):
Uh, he certainly had a distracted way of going about
things, and I would've thoughtthe same.
Usually planting seeds takesplanting care and patience, but
the birds didn't have time toget to'em.
Shelly (08:02):
Really?
Did they blow away?
Archie (08:04):
Oh no, the opposite.
See, while we were standingthere, jawing, I noticed shoots
already poking up here and therelittle green sprouts coming from
some of the seeds he must havescattered earlier.
One looked like a babysunflower.
Uh, another might've been cornor, or, or maybe a pumpkin vine.
It's anyone's guess, but man'slike a walking greenhouse gone
wild.
Shelly (08:24):
Okay.
That, that is actually kind ofawesome and also a little
chaotic.
Weren't the locals upset aboutrandom plants popping up?
Archie (08:32):
Well, it's funny you should ask.
As Seed and I are talking, asharply dressed older woman
comes marching out of the tinyApple museum down the road.
Mm-hmm.
And she does not look happy.
Mm.
She makes a beeline for uswagging her finger.
"Hey.
You there with the pot hat?" Shehollers.
"Quit tossing your seeds allover my property line."
Shelly (08:53):
Oh, no.
Angry woman.
Incoming.
Archie (08:56):
Yeah.
Yeah.
I, I quickly gather that shemust be the owner of that
world's smallest apple museumand whatnot, and she's worried
that Seed's uninvited gardeningmight choke out her prize apple
trees, or, you know, at the veryleast, make a mess that confuses
the tourists.
Shelly (09:12):
Oh no, I had it in my mind that Seed was the owner of
the museum.
Oh no.
Archie (09:17):
Seed, tries to explain.
He says, uh, he's just doingwhat comes natural, spreading
life around, but the owner isn'thaving it.
She's concerned about mysteryweeds and whatnot.
Frankly, I can't blame her forbeing nervous.
I mean, one of Seed's, freshsprouts is twirling up around a
fence post, like it might pullthe thing down.
Shelly (09:36):
Oh, no.
Unlucky, you stuck in themiddle.
Archie (09:39):
You got it.
So I step in with my hands up,all friendly, and I say,"Ma'am,
I hear you.
Random plants showing up can'tbe good for an apple orchard
business.
But" I say, I say,"What?
What if this is not a nuisance?
What if it's an attraction?
Shelly (09:58):
Oh.
Spinning the situation.
Just like you.
Archie (10:02):
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
I gotta try to keep the peace.
She just raises an eyebrow.
She's not convinced.
Shelly (10:08):
The hard type.
Huh?
Archie (10:10):
That's right.
So I keep talking.
Think about it, I say.
I say, your museum celebratesJohnny Appleseed, right?
Well, here we got his kincreating a one of a kind garden
right next door, a mysterygarden where no one knows what
weird and wonderful plant willsprout next.
It's like living folklore foryour visitors.
(10:32):
As I'm saying this, I'm alreadyin motion.
Mm-hmm.
Because you know, me, I, I, I, Ilike to fix things up.
Shelly (10:37):
I don't know if I'd believe a story if you didn't
fix something in it.
Archie (10:41):
Mm-hmm.
That's right.
So I, I, I grab a spare piece ofplywood from the back of Betsy.
Never travel without extra wood.
I always say.
Mm.
And, uh, some of my trusty paintpens, and in a jiffy I've thrown
together a sign"Mystery seedgarden plants planted by Johnny
Appleseed's, very owndescendant." Mm-hmm.
(11:02):
Real nice, like mm-hmm.
Real nice like.
Mm-hmm.
I prop it up right where seed'sbeen working.
Now it doesn't look like arandom mess.
It looks official, like part ofthe exhibit.
Shelly (11:09):
Well, that's quick thinking and fast work.
Archie (11:12):
Mm-hmm.
Uh, the, the owner adjust herbifocals and she reads a sign
tapping her chin, and I can seethe idea is warming on her.
Just then a couple kids who wereheaded to the Apple Museum with
their folks notice our sign and,and they wander her over asking
their parents"what a mysterygarden is." I flash the owner
(11:32):
grin,"Ma'am,' I say, I say,"Ireckon folks might pay to see
something like this.
Or at least it'll keep'emtalking."
Shelly (11:40):
Turning a problem into a tourist trap.
That's so you, Archie.
Archie (11:44):
Guilty as charged and hey, it worked.
The owner breaks into a slowsmile.
"Well, I suppose a few oddflowers along the edge won't
hurt my apples." She said, oh,"Might even bring in some more
curious souls." Oh, and whatabout Seed?
Seed?
Well, Seed's practicallybouncing on his toes at this
(12:04):
point'cause he's thrilled thathis seeds get to stay.
To sweeten the deal, I offer tohelp tidy up a bit.
So using some spare rope andsome stakes from Betsy, I
section off Seed's planting areaso it looks neat and
intentional.
A nice little plot right next tothe museum path with that
homemade sign front and center.
(12:25):
Now visitors can walk by withouttrampling the seedlings and the
owner can honestly claim a newattraction.
"See the mystery garden grow."
Shelly (12:33):
Well, I hope the garden makes it into the revised road
Atlas.
Archie (12:37):
It's funny you should mention that Shell, huh?
See, I, I sent a letter to thepublishers of that roadside
attractions guide.
Mm-hmm.
Right?
And I told them that I told'emthe story of Seed and I
suggested that they add the"Mystery Seed Garden" to their
next edition.
Sure enough, when the newguidebook came out, there was a
little blurb about an eccentricgardener's plot next to the
(13:00):
world's smallest apple museum.
Shelly (13:02):
Ooh, I wonder if it's in an updated atlas and don't go
looking.
I have an idea for a Christmaspresent.
Archie (13:08):
Alright.
Okay.
I won't.
I won't, but I've still got alittle bit of the tale left.
Okay.
Now with the conflict settledthe museum owner brings out a
picture cold apple cider for thethree of us, and we're sitting
in the shade of a young appletree clinking paper cups cider.
Seed is beaming.
He tells us stories he's heardabout his great, great, great
(13:30):
grand pappy, Johnny, and it'slike history coming alive right
in that yard.
Tourist trickle over to peak atthe garden and Seed proudly
explains each little sprout.
Even though he truly has no cluewhat most will turn into, which
is part of the fun, he says.
Shelly (13:47):
Like grabbing a handful of those mystery jelly beans.
The fun is the surprise.
Unless of course you get a grossone.
Archie (13:54):
Yeah.
Well, I'll tell you, I don'tthink he had a gross seed in the
bunch.
Just some overly enthusiasticgrowers that may need a little
taming or they'll take over thefence.
Shelly (14:05):
Oh, that has shades of the Miracle Oil and the
Rampaging Community Gardens.
Archie (14:09):
Well now that'd be something.
Seed's seeds mixed with rev-oil.
Shelly (14:15):
Yikes.
Archie (14:16):
Mm.
Yeah, let, let's hope those twodon't run into each other on the
road.
Speaking of before I hit theroad again, Seed reaches into
his messenger bag and he pressesa strange spotted seed into my
palm.
Oh.
"For you." He says"to rememberour meeting." It's large.
It may be a pumpkin seed or agiant bean.
(14:37):
It's unlabeled, of course.
I thank him kindly and I tuck itin my shirt pocket.
Shelly (14:43):
So did you ever plant it?
Archie (14:44):
You know, I did.
I, I planted it in a pot when Igot home just to see what
happened.
Shelly (14:49):
And what grew from Seed's seed?
Archie (14:51):
Nothing.
Shelly (14:52):
Oh.
Archie (14:53):
Well, not for the longest time.
I, I figured, well, maybe it wasa dud, but I get this, huh.
A year later I walk out onemorning and I find that that pot
was broken and a sapling as tallas me is in its place with
pecans and apples growing fromthe same tree.
Oh, Kid, you not, it, it wassome kind of hybrid tree
(15:16):
sprouting both tiny apples andpecans.
I mean, how on earth?
I have no idea.
Seed's magic, I guess.
Shelly (15:21):
Of course it would be some bizarre apple pecan tree.
Geez, Arch.
Your life is, is basically astring of, you won't believe
this, but it's true stories.
Archie (15:33):
Wouldn't you know it?
So if y'all ever find yourselvesa driving through the heartland
and you spot a sign for"themystery garden." Stop by, you
might see an apple pecan tree ora 14 foot sunflower or heaven
knows what else?
All thanks to a quirky,distracted guy named Seed.
Shelly (15:52):
Man, I got to admit Arch.
I am really sorry I missed outon that trip.
Who knew following a weirdguidebook would lead to so many
tall tales?
Archie (16:02):
Sure did.
That old guidebook led me to thedarnedest places and people.
And you know what?
I wouldn't trade thoseadventures for anything.
Sometimes the oddballs on theroadside make the best stories.
Shelly (16:14):
Next time you take a crazy trip like that, I am
coming along.
No way am I missing out again.
My mom will have to tie me down.
Archie (16:20):
Deal cousin.
Hmm, that's the deal.
Just be ready.
'cause with my luck, we'llprobably stumble on a bigfoot
running a lemonade stand orsomething.
You never know on the roads.
Shelly (16:30):
Now that would be something.
Bigfoot with a lemonade stand.
I thought they were notoriouslyreclusive.
Archie (16:38):
Oh they are.
Oh yeah.
But you never know.
There may be an entrepreneur inthe bunch.
Shelly (16:42):
And it would be like you to stumble across its path.
Archie (16:45):
Yeah, well, you know, after the shock of it wore off,
I think we'd end up swappingtales and it'd be kind of
fascinating.
Mm-hmm.
Speaking of which, as far astales go, uh.
You ready to share yours?
Shelly (16:56):
I am.
But before I tell my own desertmisadventure, I've got a classic
one for you.
A tale that's older than time,but still hits close to home.
It's about Cassandra and, no,not the one who teaches hot yoga
at the studio next to the PlayN' Stay.
I mean, the Cassandra.
Archie (17:16):
Yeah, you brought her up last week.
The woman who was fated to knowthe future, but not to be
believed.
Shelly (17:21):
Right.
Now, this was back in the dayswhen the Gods walked around like
they owned the place.
Cassandra was a princess ofTroy: smart, sharp, and
stunning.
And the gods noticed, especiallyApollo, who tried to woo her
with his usual move (17:39):
divine gifts in exchange for divine
favors.
If you catch my meaning.
Archie (17:47):
I do.
Shelly (17:48):
Now.
She didn't like the notion ofgiving favors, but she did take
the gift, the ability to see thefuture with perfect clarity.
Every consequence, everydownfall, every tragic turn,
boom.
Right in her mind, like ahighlight reel.
Archie (18:06):
She got the gift for free.
Shelly (18:08):
Well, not for free, and I'm not sure you'd call it a
gift after what Apollo did.
See when she refused himromantically, because, you know,
standards, Apollo, well, he gotpetty.
Archie (18:21):
Hmm.
A petty god is a dangerousthing.
Shelly (18:24):
Tell me about it.
But he didn't take back thegift.
He twisted it.
Now, Cassandra could still seethe future, but no one would
ever believe her.
Archie (18:35):
Oh, so that's how that happened.
The not being believed part.
Shelly (18:38):
It is.
Not a soul would hear what shehad to say.
Not her family, not her friends,not the Council of Troy.
Archie (18:46):
Well, well, why'd she need to talk to the Council of
Troy?
Shelly (18:49):
Well, there was this giant wooden horse outside the
city walls, and it was filledwith Greek soldiers.
Archie (18:57):
Oh, and, and they were at war with the Greeks, right?
Shelly (19:00):
Yeah.
A war that Cassandra hadforetold.
But of course, nobody believed.
She also foretold that the warwould be the end of Troy, and
nobody believed that either.
And now the Trojans thought thishorse was a gift, a sign of
peace from the Greeks.
Archie (19:16):
Tell me, what would you do with a giant wooden horse?
Shelly (19:19):
I have absolutely no idea.
Put it on display.
Maybe.
I don't know.
Anyway, Cassandra screamed tillher voice was gone, that the
Greeks were hiding in the woodenhorse.
She begged for the Trojans toburn it, throw it off a cliff,
even just leave it where it is.
She saw what they couldn't, andthey were having none of it.
(19:41):
The Trojans just rolled theireyes and blamed her for being
dramatic.
Archie (19:46):
Even after she had thrown out some predictions that
had come true.
Shelly (19:49):
Didn't matter, her words fell on deaf ears.
Archie (19:51):
They brought that horse inside the gates, didn't they?
Shelly (19:54):
They did, and they threw a party, one for the ages.
And, once they had tiredthemselves out and passed out,
the Greeks jumped out of thehorse and burned the whole city
to the ground.
Archie (20:08):
Mm.
And Cassandra had a front rowseat to the disaster with no
mute button and no way to help.
That must have been frustratingas all get out.
Shelly (20:16):
Well hold on to that.
Because what happened to me inthe Anza Borrego Desert wasn't
ancient, but it had the sameflavor.
Some well meant warnings and agroup of people who couldn't sit
still long enough to take advicethat might've saved their tents
and maybe their leadersclavicle.
Archie (20:32):
Are you a modern day Cassandra?
Shelly (20:34):
You might say so, but without the gods, a war, and a
gigantic horse.
Archie (20:41):
Well, I'm intrigued.
Shelly (20:42):
My story does involve a canyon collapse, some
biodegradable incense, and agroup of very well-meaning, if
somewhat odd individuals whokept almost doing the right
thing.
Archie (20:55):
Almost doesn't usually get you where you wanna be.
Shelly (20:57):
No, it doesn't.
Now for the purposes of thestory, it's high desert, late
spring, Anza Borrego.
Ralph and I were doing ourannual four day solo camping
trip when this woman pulls up ina jacked up forester and parks
right beside me.
And I'm a bit taken aback.
I mean, there's a whole desert.
Why park next to me?
(21:19):
But, before I can get sour aboutit, she pops out wearing flowing
linen and platform Tevas.
Archie (21:25):
Oh, now that's a sight.
Shelly (21:27):
She was that in spades.
She introduces herself as Nova,no last name, and says she's
heading a pop-up conservationcollective called Whisper Watch.
Archie (21:41):
Why do I feel like this ends with crystals and a
lawsuit?
Shelly (21:46):
You're not that far off.
Nova invites me to a groupsession in a nearby wash.
She says they've discovered anacoustic anomaly, a natural
chamber that echoes the grief ofthe land.
And I have to admit, well, she'sgot me curious.
Archie (22:02):
Curiosity, the start of most good adventures.
Shelly (22:05):
Mm-hmm.
Life would be awfully boringwithout curiosity.
And since we had nothing betterto do, Ralph and I decided to
check it out.
And sure enough, the wash isbeautiful.
Mm, A little too beautiful,steep, rocky walls with erosion
grooves.
I recognize it for what it isimmediately, a fragile zone
flagged in ranger warnings.
(22:26):
I tell Nova this.
She nods,"Yes.
That's why we're only holdingmorning sessions here." I
suggest moving the group alittle downhill where the rock
is stable.
Archie (22:36):
Gotta pay attention to those warning signs.
They're there for a reason, butI'm betting they didn't.
Shelly (22:41):
Well, actually, that's the thing.
They agree.
They even thank me.
Nova says she'll lead the groupout the next morning.
She even gives me a flowerinfused bracelet as Thanks.
Archie (22:52):
Wait, so so they listened.
Shelly (22:54):
They did at first.
But then they got distracted.
Archie (23:00):
They got distracted?
Mm-hmm.
How'd they do that?
Shelly (23:02):
Well, it was always something.
Someone said they heard a newsand tone.
Someone else just had to sketchthe energy lines of a Joshua
tree nearby, and a guy namedEcho set up a solar powered
gong, and they had to record itsresonance.
Archie (23:18):
In that spot exactly.
Shelly (23:20):
Exactly.
Something to do with the specialenergy given off by the wash
formation.
Archie (23:26):
It seems to me that setting off a gong in that area
may be asking for trouble.
Shelly (23:30):
For real.
I mean, you really don't needany prophecy abilities for that.
Just some common sense.
Anyway, every time I remindedthem, they said:"Just a little
bit longer.
We'll move soon." So I flag theperimeter, I make maps, I put up
signs that say erosion riskcaution.
Nova says I'm"anchoring thetransition with love," which is
(23:55):
fine, I guess.
Archie (23:57):
Uh, what transition is that?
Shelly (23:58):
I honestly don't know, but she was so sincere about it.
Archie (24:03):
I'm, I'm sure she meant it, whatever it was.
Shelly (24:06):
Well.
Morning came and instead ofpacking up, they started
preparing for a desert listeningceremony.
Ralph won't stop growling.
I tell them we need to go now.
Nova puts a calming hand on myshoulder and says,"You're right,
Shelly.
After this one last session."
Archie (24:27):
Famous last words.
Shelly (24:29):
Well, not last, thank goodness, but halfway through
the ceremony, as Nova's standingat the center of the wash
lighting sage, the rock above uscracks.
Ralph starts barking.
I yell for everyone to scatter.
Archie (24:45):
Oh no, here it comes.
Shelly (24:47):
Most of them do make a run for it.
But not Nova.
No.
She stands right there and achunk of sandstone about the
size of a canoe drops right infront of where she's standing.
Any closer, and she would havebeen squashed.
As it was, she's thrownbackward, bruised and dazed, but
(25:07):
alive.
The altar and listening speakersare destroyed by falling rocks.
It's chaos.
Someone screams"the earth isangry." Another starts singing,
I think in E minor.
I run to Nova.
She's holding her arm at thisweird angle and she's bleeding
in a couple of spots.
I patch her up, sling her arm,broken collarbone, and lead
(25:30):
everyone down to a safer zone.
The one I suggested.
Archie (25:33):
Did they finally believe you then?
Shelly (25:35):
Yeah, but they also said I"was a vessel for Gaia's
preemptive wisdom," which I'lltake, I guess.
I felt more like a desertCassandra.
Archie (25:49):
Man, it, it sure would've been hard not to say I
told you so.
Shelly (25:53):
I hope I didn't gloat, but you're right.
It was hard not to have the lastword, but I decided it'd be
better if I just made sureeveryone was okay, packed up
Ralph and headed home.
Archie (26:03):
I guess sometimes it doesn't matter how many warnings
you give, some folks need afallen rock to hear what you
said three days ago.
Shelly (26:11):
For real.
Archie (26:13):
Is that all of it?
Shelly (26:15):
It is.
Oh, so I guess we're moving on.
Who told it best?
Archie (26:21):
Yeah.
Shelly (26:22):
Was it Archie's run in with the destructive relative of
Johnny Appleseed and amysterious growing garden,
Archie (26:28):
Or Shelly's original tale with her cast as a modern
Cassandra in the SouthernCalifornia desert with a
distracted bunch ofconservationists.
Shelly (26:38):
After the show, head over to Instagram at
notquiterightgoods and vote.
We're keeping score and thewinner gets, well you get to
decide.
Archie (26:45):
Also on, on the podcast page, we've made a, a simple
form that goes straight toMiley, our producer, where you
can send in your suggestions forthe winner's prize.
Shelly (26:56):
And you can always drop us a line and let us know what
you think of the show too.
And maybe you have a tale, sendthem in, we'd love to hear them.
Archie (27:03):
Mm-hmm.
And we know you'll beconsiderate and not let words
fly harshly.
Criticism is one thing, butmeanness is another thing
altogether.
Shelly (27:14):
You know, I was just thinking, do you ever think
maybe distraction isn't alwaysbad?
Archie (27:20):
Uh, Shelly, we were talking about considerate
comments.
Shelly (27:24):
Right.
That's important too.
I don't wanna draw focus fromthat at all.
It's just distraction is on mymind.
I mean, sure, nearly got mygroup flattened by sandstone,
but sometimes it leads somewhereinteresting.
Archie (27:36):
And, and sometimes it leads to a town full of lemon
trees growing out of thesidewalk.
Shelly (27:41):
Which is good for a Sasquatch with a lemonade stand,
but maybe not so good for folkswith bikes and strollers.
Archie (27:48):
Well put, Shell.
You know who else had way youputting words to thoughts?
Shelly (27:52):
Well, I can name a few.
Archie (27:55):
Well, lemme save you the trouble.
I'm talking about Seneca, whofamously said:"He who is
everywhere is nowhere."
Shelly (28:04):
Meaning if you're scattered every which way, then
how can you be solidlysomeplace?
Archie (28:10):
It's a good reminder to stay focused or at least to
remember what you started.
If you're scattered, distracted,or trying to chase every wild
idea, you, you end up forgettingwhat you were actually doing in
the first place.
Shelly (28:23):
It's a good point you make'cuz.
My quote for today isn't asthought provoking and its source
is uncredited, but they're stillwise words.
Mine comes from a trail guidepamphlet that was halfway
dissolved by the time I read it.
It says:"There's no point inhaving a map if you never look
at it."
Archie (28:43):
Hmm.
Yeah.
Somewhere Seed is nodding inagreement.
And also probably trying toplant rutabagas in a bird bath.
Shelly (28:51):
Or planting seeds in a gas station median and calling
it accidental agriculture.
Archie (28:58):
We've all been there.
Intentions are good.
Follow through is well, don'tget distracted.
Shelly (29:06):
If you've ever forgotten what you're doing, mid task,
mid-sentence or well midanything, then you'll appreciate
this week's shirt.
Archie (29:14):
That's right.
It's from our stick figureseries and it says,"I came, I
saw, I forgot what I was doing."
Shelly (29:21):
Sums up this episode and most of my twenties.
Archie (29:24):
Yeah, you can find that one and plenty more at not quite
right goods.com.
Designed for wanderers, theabsent-minded and the easily
distracted.
Shelly (29:34):
Thanks for sitting with us a while.
Archie (29:36):
Yeah, you're always welcome on the porch.
Shelly (29:39):
Bye
Archie (29:40):
bye.
Joe (29:43):
This has been a not quite right goods production.
Starring Joe Laureiro is Archieand Holland Renton as Shelly.
Written, directed and edited byHolland Renton.
Music sourced via Descript stocklibrary.
It looks like we might get a clean start.
Shelly (00:03):
Hope we don't prove you wrong.
Archie (00:04):
Uh, only one way to find out.
Shelly (00:06):
Okay, here we go.
Hi there.
I'm Shelly.
Archie (00:12):
And I'm Archie.
Shelly (00:13):
And you found us on the porch for
Frogs.
Talking, Talking.
Archie (00:20):
One part telling tales,
Shelly (00:22):
one part talking life.
All parts.
Archie (00:24):
All parts.
A bit, a bit
Shelly (00:26):
not,
Archie (00:27):
not quite right, quite right.
Shelly (00:31):
Banter and forgetfulness and distractions.
Uh oh.
Oops.
I wasn't supposed to read thatout loud, was I?
No, no.
Not unless we're making producernotes part of the show now.
Oh, I knew not to read that.
Oh, well, I mean, I guess thatproves the point, though.
Short attention spans can throwa wrench into things.
Archie (00:53):
Sometimes making for good laugh or a good story.
Shelly (00:57):
Honestly, this whole week's been like that for me.
I opened the fridge this morningand found my keys on top of the
yogurt.
Archie (01:05):
Hmm.
At least you put'em somewhere.
You, you'd find them.
Shelly (01:07):
And at least they weren't in the yogurt.
Archie (01:09):
Oh.
That, that would've put a newmeaning and stir before eating.
Shelly (01:12):
Oh, my fruit on the bottom would've tasted pretty
metallic.
Archie (01:16):
Yeah.
Nice way to start in themorning.
Shelly (01:18):
Mm.
Archie (01:18):
Well check this one out.
I ended last night in a bit ofthe same way.
I tried to call someone with theTV remote, just sat there
tapping volume up like I wasgoing to answer.
Shelly (01:30):
One time I made tea.
Forgot about it.
Came back three hours later andtried to reheat it with the bag
still in it.
Archie (01:40):
Oh, that's all right.
That's not so bad.
I definitely followedinstructions for a cake one
time.
Shelly (01:45):
Mm-hmm.
Archie (01:46):
And it turned out to be cornbread.
Shelly (01:47):
What kind of cake was it supposed to be?
Archie (01:50):
Red velvet.
I frosted it anyway.
Shelly (01:53):
You what?
Archie (01:54):
Oh yeah.
Yeah.
I was going to a potluck.
I couldn't show up empty handed.
Shelly (01:57):
A cream cheese frosting, cornbread cake.
I have to know.
Did you try it too?
Archie (02:04):
Now?
What do you think?
Course I did.
Shelly (02:06):
Oh, that is chaos baking.
Archie (02:09):
Well, it turned out to be delicious and it was the hit
of the potluck.
Shelly (02:13):
But you know, life is like that sometimes.
You start out one way and youend up a completely another way,
but maybe the better for it andhopefully intact.
Archie (02:25):
And, and nothing extra unless it's snacks.
Shelly (02:28):
You and your snacks.
Archie (02:30):
Never go anywhere without them.
Prepared, not
Shelly (02:34):
paranoid.
Archie (02:36):
You got it.
And you know who else was knownfor being prepared?
Who?
Mr.
Johnny Appleseed.
Uh, but before I start, today'stheme is"Distracted Adventures."
Shelly (02:48):
Hmm.
What kind of distractions are wetalking about?
Is it the kind where you walk ina room and forget why you walked
in, and then you find amisplaced shoe in a potted
plant, hopefully thanks to Ralphand not your own forgetfulness,
which leads you to remember youneed fertilizer?
And before you know it, you areat the only earthworm farm in
southern California gettingworms for the compost bin.
Archie (03:10):
And I bet you still don't know why you walked into
that room in the first place.
Shelly (03:14):
Not a clue.
But the compost bin is beingfully digested now.
Archie (03:18):
Well, that's great news, Shelly.
Poor digestion is no good evenfor compost bins.
Shelly (03:23):
Hmm.
You're right.
And sorry for the"distraction"Arch.
Archie (03:31):
See what you did there.
Shelly (03:32):
Uhhuh, you were saying?
Archie (03:34):
Right.
Well, I, I got another tale fromthat, uh, same cross country
summer in my twenties.
Uh, you know, the trip where Iended up helping Pecos Bill,
tame a tornado?
Shelly (03:43):
Or as I like to remember it, the time you got hooked by a
signpost.
Archie (03:47):
Yeah, you could call it that too, I guess.
But, uh, this happened a fewweeks before that little tornado
riding adventure.
Mm-hmm.
See, I was roaming the backroads in good old Betsy with
that oddball roadsideattractions, guidebook riding
shotgun.
Just me, Betsy, and a dog-earedguide to every world's largest
(04:08):
ball of something betweencoasts, exploring one quirky
stop after another.
Shelly (04:13):
And your tools.
Archie (04:15):
Yeah, of course.
And my tools.
Always my tools.
Shelly (04:18):
Mm-hmm.
That trip of your was the giftthat kept on giving, huh?
Archie (04:22):
You bet.
So imagine this, I'm drivingthrough the Midwest on a
sweltering afternoon on thelookout for a quote unquote
"mystery orchard" listed in myguidebook.
Somewhere outside one of theseone stoplight towns, I pull over
at a roadside clearing where acrooked wooden sign promises
world's smallest apple museumone mile, and there's this
(04:48):
crooked arrow pointing towardthe direction I wasn't headed.
But I figured I might as wellhave a look.
It wasn't on a map or in mydirection, but some of the best
finds aren't
Shelly (04:58):
on a map or in our path.
Following maw-maw's wisdom.
Archie (05:03):
Well, it's never proved me wrong as far as I can tell.
Well, before I get to themuseum, I notice a fella in the
field next door scatteringhandfuls of seeds every which
way.
Like he's feeding pigeons only,there aren't any birds, just him
and those seeds.
And he's a lanky guy.
Overalls dusty from the road, abig messenger bag over one
(05:25):
shoulder, and I swear, hand toGod, a cooking pot on his head.
Shelly (05:31):
Wait a second.
A cooking pot as a hat.
Archie (05:34):
Exactly.
That's right, an upside down tinpot.
Right on his head.
Like he's ready to boil stew onhis noggin.
I immediately think JohnnyAppleseed, real name John
Chapman.
Mm-hmm.
The folk hero who wandered thefrontier planting apple trees
everywhere he went.
Wore tin pot for a hat andeverything.
Shelly (05:52):
So here's where Mr.
Appleseed comes in.
Are you telling me you metJohnny Appleseed?
Archie (05:59):
No, no, not, not the original.
I mean, he's been gone since the1840s, but darn if this fellow
didn't look like his spittingimage in modern form.
Well, I, I hop on out of Betsyand I walk over, curiosity
getting the best of me.
I say,"Howdy.
That's an interesting gardeningget up you got there." He turns
(06:19):
around real slow, like tippingthe tin pot hat politely.
And he says.
"They call me'Seed.'"
Shelly (06:25):
So"Seed" is his name.
Archie (06:27):
Just seed.
Yep.
Fitting too.
Considering he's literallysowing seeds all over creation.
I mean, the ground around us ispeppered with little seeds he's
flung, none of them in any neatrows or labeled or anything.
Just a wild scatter shot gardenin the making.
Shelly (06:43):
And he's wearing a tin pot hat?
Archie (06:45):
Yep.
And I can't help but ask himabout that hat.
He gives me a gap tooth grin.
"Great, great, great GrandPappy's idea.
"He says.
Shelly (06:55):
And you're going to tell me that's Johnny Appleseed, he's
referring to.
Archie (06:59):
Sure am.
It turns out he's a directdescendant of Johnny Appleseed.
Whoa.
Mm-hmm.
Seed tells me he's honoring thefamily tradition, traveling the
land and planting seeds whereverhe roams.
But unlike his famous ancestor,he's not just planting apple
trees.
Oh no.
Oh, no.
(07:19):
Seeds' got pouches full of allkinds of mystery seeds.
Uh, he, he had apple, peach,pecan, wild flowers, cactus, you
name it.
If it's a seed, he'll find aspot and plunk it in the ground.
No labels.
No maps.
He reckons Mother Nature shoulddecide what grows where.
Shelly (07:40):
Well, I guess that's one way to do things, but seems kind
of scattershot to me and maybe abit wasteful.
But, I guess the birds don'tmind a free buffet.
Archie (07:49):
Uh, he certainly had a distracted way of going about
things, and I would've thoughtthe same.
Usually planting seeds takesplanting care and patience, but
the birds didn't have time toget to'em.
Shelly (08:02):
Really?
Did they blow away?
Archie (08:04):
Oh no, the opposite.
See, while we were standingthere, jawing, I noticed shoots
already poking up here and therelittle green sprouts coming from
some of the seeds he must havescattered earlier.
One looked like a babysunflower.
Uh, another might've been cornor, or, or maybe a pumpkin vine.
It's anyone's guess, but man'slike a walking greenhouse gone
wild.
Shelly (08:24):
Okay.
That, that is actually kind ofawesome and also a little
chaotic.
Weren't the locals upset aboutrandom plants popping up?
Archie (08:32):
Well, it's funny you should ask.
As Seed and I are talking, asharply dressed older woman
comes marching out of the tinyApple museum down the road.
Mm-hmm.
And she does not look happy.
Mm.
She makes a beeline for uswagging her finger.
"Hey.
You there with the pot hat?" Shehollers.
"Quit tossing your seeds allover my property line."
Shelly (08:53):
Oh, no.
Angry woman.
Incoming.
Archie (08:56):
Yeah.
Yeah.
I, I quickly gather that shemust be the owner of that
world's smallest apple museumand whatnot, and she's worried
that Seed's uninvited gardeningmight choke out her prize apple
trees, or, you know, at the veryleast, make a mess that confuses
the tourists.
Shelly (09:12):
Oh no, I had it in my mind that Seed was the owner of
the museum.
Oh no.
Archie (09:17):
Seed, tries to explain.
He says, uh, he's just doingwhat comes natural, spreading
life around, but the owner isn'thaving it.
She's concerned about mysteryweeds and whatnot.
Frankly, I can't blame her forbeing nervous.
I mean, one of Seed's, freshsprouts is twirling up around a
fence post, like it might pullthe thing down.
Shelly (09:36):
Oh, no.
Unlucky, you stuck in themiddle.
Archie (09:39):
You got it.
So I step in with my hands up,all friendly, and I say,"Ma'am,
I hear you.
Random plants showing up can'tbe good for an apple orchard
business.
But" I say, I say,"What?
What if this is not a nuisance?
What if it's an attraction?
Shelly (09:58):
Oh.
Spinning the situation.
Just like you.
Archie (10:02):
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
I gotta try to keep the peace.
She just raises an eyebrow.
She's not convinced.
Shelly (10:08):
The hard type.
Huh?
Archie (10:10):
That's right.
So I keep talking.
Think about it, I say.
I say, your museum celebratesJohnny Appleseed, right?
Well, here we got his kincreating a one of a kind garden
right next door, a mysterygarden where no one knows what
weird and wonderful plant willsprout next.
It's like living folklore foryour visitors.
(10:32):
As I'm saying this, I'm alreadyin motion.
Mm-hmm.
Because you know, me, I, I, I, Ilike to fix things up.
Shelly (10:37):
I don't know if I'd believe a story if you didn't
fix something in it.
Archie (10:41):
Mm-hmm.
That's right.
So I, I, I grab a spare piece ofplywood from the back of Betsy.
Never travel without extra wood.
I always say.
Mm.
And, uh, some of my trusty paintpens, and in a jiffy I've thrown
together a sign"Mystery seedgarden plants planted by Johnny
Appleseed's, very owndescendant." Mm-hmm.
(11:02):
Real nice, like mm-hmm.
Real nice like.
Mm-hmm.
I prop it up right where seed'sbeen working.
Now it doesn't look like arandom mess.
It looks official, like part ofthe exhibit.
Shelly (11:09):
Well, that's quick thinking and fast work.
Archie (11:12):
Mm-hmm.
Uh, the, the owner adjust herbifocals and she reads a sign
tapping her chin, and I can seethe idea is warming on her.
Just then a couple kids who wereheaded to the Apple Museum with
their folks notice our sign and,and they wander her over asking
their parents"what a mysterygarden is." I flash the owner
(11:32):
grin,"Ma'am,' I say, I say,"Ireckon folks might pay to see
something like this.
Or at least it'll keep'emtalking."
Shelly (11:40):
Turning a problem into a tourist trap.
That's so you, Archie.
Archie (11:44):
Guilty as charged and hey, it worked.
The owner breaks into a slowsmile.
"Well, I suppose a few oddflowers along the edge won't
hurt my apples." She said, oh,"Might even bring in some more
curious souls." Oh, and whatabout Seed?
Seed?
Well, Seed's practicallybouncing on his toes at this
(12:04):
point'cause he's thrilled thathis seeds get to stay.
To sweeten the deal, I offer tohelp tidy up a bit.
So using some spare rope andsome stakes from Betsy, I
section off Seed's planting areaso it looks neat and
intentional.
A nice little plot right next tothe museum path with that
homemade sign front and center.
(12:25):
Now visitors can walk by withouttrampling the seedlings and the
owner can honestly claim a newattraction.
"See the mystery garden grow."
Shelly (12:33):
Well, I hope the garden makes it into the revised road
Atlas.
Archie (12:37):
It's funny you should mention that Shell, huh?
See, I, I sent a letter to thepublishers of that roadside
attractions guide.
Mm-hmm.
Right?
And I told them that I told'emthe story of Seed and I
suggested that they add the"Mystery Seed Garden" to their
next edition.
Sure enough, when the newguidebook came out, there was a
little blurb about an eccentricgardener's plot next to the
(13:00):
world's smallest apple museum.
Shelly (13:02):
Ooh, I wonder if it's in an updated atlas and don't go
looking.
I have an idea for a Christmaspresent.
Archie (13:08):
Alright.
Okay.
I won't.
I won't, but I've still got alittle bit of the tale left.
Okay.
Now with the conflict settledthe museum owner brings out a
picture cold apple cider for thethree of us, and we're sitting
in the shade of a young appletree clinking paper cups cider.
Seed is beaming.
He tells us stories he's heardabout his great, great, great
(13:30):
grand pappy, Johnny, and it'slike history coming alive right
in that yard.
Tourist trickle over to peak atthe garden and Seed proudly
explains each little sprout.
Even though he truly has no cluewhat most will turn into, which
is part of the fun, he says.
Shelly (13:47):
Like grabbing a handful of those mystery jelly beans.
The fun is the surprise.
Unless of course you get a grossone.
Archie (13:54):
Yeah.
Well, I'll tell you, I don'tthink he had a gross seed in the
bunch.
Just some overly enthusiasticgrowers that may need a little
taming or they'll take over thefence.
Shelly (14:05):
Oh, that has shades of the Miracle Oil and the
Rampaging Community Gardens.
Archie (14:09):
Well now that'd be something.
Seed's seeds mixed with rev-oil.
Shelly (14:15):
Yikes.
Archie (14:16):
Mm.
Yeah, let, let's hope those twodon't run into each other on the
road.
Speaking of before I hit theroad again, Seed reaches into
his messenger bag and he pressesa strange spotted seed into my
palm.
Oh.
"For you." He says"to rememberour meeting." It's large.
It may be a pumpkin seed or agiant bean.
(14:37):
It's unlabeled, of course.
I thank him kindly and I tuck itin my shirt pocket.
Shelly (14:43):
So did you ever plant it?
Archie (14:44):
You know, I did.
I, I planted it in a pot when Igot home just to see what
happened.
Shelly (14:49):
And what grew from Seed's seed?
Archie (14:51):
Nothing.
Shelly (14:52):
Oh.
Archie (14:53):
Well, not for the longest time.
I, I figured, well, maybe it wasa dud, but I get this, huh.
A year later I walk out onemorning and I find that that pot
was broken and a sapling as tallas me is in its place with
pecans and apples growing fromthe same tree.
Oh, Kid, you not, it, it wassome kind of hybrid tree
(15:16):
sprouting both tiny apples andpecans.
I mean, how on earth?
I have no idea.
Seed's magic, I guess.
Shelly (15:21):
Of course it would be some bizarre apple pecan tree.
Geez, Arch.
Your life is, is basically astring of, you won't believe
this, but it's true stories.
Archie (15:33):
Wouldn't you know it?
So if y'all ever find yourselvesa driving through the heartland
and you spot a sign for"themystery garden." Stop by, you
might see an apple pecan tree ora 14 foot sunflower or heaven
knows what else?
All thanks to a quirky,distracted guy named Seed.
Shelly (15:52):
Man, I got to admit Arch.
I am really sorry I missed outon that trip.
Who knew following a weirdguidebook would lead to so many
tall tales?
Archie (16:02):
Sure did.
That old guidebook led me to thedarnedest places and people.
And you know what?
I wouldn't trade thoseadventures for anything.
Sometimes the oddballs on theroadside make the best stories.
Shelly (16:14):
Next time you take a crazy trip like that, I am
coming along.
No way am I missing out again.
My mom will have to tie me down.
Archie (16:20):
Deal cousin.
Hmm, that's the deal.
Just be ready.
'cause with my luck, we'llprobably stumble on a bigfoot
running a lemonade stand orsomething.
You never know on the roads.
Shelly (16:30):
Now that would be something.
Bigfoot with a lemonade stand.
I thought they were notoriouslyreclusive.
Archie (16:38):
Oh they are.
Oh yeah.
But you never know.
There may be an entrepreneur inthe bunch.
Shelly (16:42):
And it would be like you to stumble across its path.
Archie (16:45):
Yeah, well, you know, after the shock of it wore off,
I think we'd end up swappingtales and it'd be kind of
fascinating.
Mm-hmm.
Speaking of which, as far astales go, uh.
You ready to share yours?
Shelly (16:56):
I am.
But before I tell my own desertmisadventure, I've got a classic
one for you.
A tale that's older than time,but still hits close to home.
It's about Cassandra and, no,not the one who teaches hot yoga
at the studio next to the PlayN' Stay.
I mean, the Cassandra.
Archie (17:16):
Yeah, you brought her up last week.
The woman who was fated to knowthe future, but not to be
believed.
Shelly (17:21):
Right.
Now, this was back in the dayswhen the Gods walked around like
they owned the place.
Cassandra was a princess ofTroy: smart, sharp, and
stunning.
And the gods noticed, especiallyApollo, who tried to woo her
with his usual move (17:39):
divine gifts in exchange for divine
favors.
If you catch my meaning.
Archie (17:47):
I do.
Shelly (17:48):
Now.
She didn't like the notion ofgiving favors, but she did take
the gift, the ability to see thefuture with perfect clarity.
Every consequence, everydownfall, every tragic turn,
boom.
Right in her mind, like ahighlight reel.
Archie (18:06):
She got the gift for free.
Shelly (18:08):
Well, not for free, and I'm not sure you'd call it a
gift after what Apollo did.
See when she refused himromantically, because, you know,
standards, Apollo, well, he gotpetty.
Archie (18:21):
Hmm.
A petty god is a dangerousthing.
Shelly (18:24):
Tell me about it.
But he didn't take back thegift.
He twisted it.
Now, Cassandra could still seethe future, but no one would
ever believe her.
Archie (18:35):
Oh, so that's how that happened.
The not being believed part.
Shelly (18:38):
It is.
Not a soul would hear what shehad to say.
Not her family, not her friends,not the Council of Troy.
Archie (18:46):
Well, well, why'd she need to talk to the Council of
Troy?
Shelly (18:49):
Well, there was this giant wooden horse outside the
city walls, and it was filledwith Greek soldiers.
Archie (18:57):
Oh, and, and they were at war with the Greeks, right?
Shelly (19:00):
Yeah.
A war that Cassandra hadforetold.
But of course, nobody believed.
She also foretold that the warwould be the end of Troy, and
nobody believed that either.
And now the Trojans thought thishorse was a gift, a sign of
peace from the Greeks.
Archie (19:16):
Tell me, what would you do with a giant wooden horse?
Shelly (19:19):
I have absolutely no idea.
Put it on display.
Maybe.
I don't know.
Anyway, Cassandra screamed tillher voice was gone, that the
Greeks were hiding in the woodenhorse.
She begged for the Trojans toburn it, throw it off a cliff,
even just leave it where it is.
She saw what they couldn't, andthey were having none of it.
(19:41):
The Trojans just rolled theireyes and blamed her for being
dramatic.
Archie (19:46):
Even after she had thrown out some predictions that
had come true.
Shelly (19:49):
Didn't matter, her words fell on deaf ears.
Archie (19:51):
They brought that horse inside the gates, didn't they?
Shelly (19:54):
They did, and they threw a party, one for the ages.
And, once they had tiredthemselves out and passed out,
the Greeks jumped out of thehorse and burned the whole city
to the ground.
Archie (20:08):
Mm.
And Cassandra had a front rowseat to the disaster with no
mute button and no way to help.
That must have been frustratingas all get out.
Shelly (20:16):
Well hold on to that.
Because what happened to me inthe Anza Borrego Desert wasn't
ancient, but it had the sameflavor.
Some well meant warnings and agroup of people who couldn't sit
still long enough to take advicethat might've saved their tents
and maybe their leadersclavicle.
Archie (20:32):
Are you a modern day Cassandra?
Shelly (20:34):
You might say so, but without the gods, a war, and a
gigantic horse.
Archie (20:41):
Well, I'm intrigued.
Shelly (20:42):
My story does involve a canyon collapse, some
biodegradable incense, and agroup of very well-meaning, if
somewhat odd individuals whokept almost doing the right
thing.
Archie (20:55):
Almost doesn't usually get you where you wanna be.
Shelly (20:57):
No, it doesn't.
Now for the purposes of thestory, it's high desert, late
spring, Anza Borrego.
Ralph and I were doing ourannual four day solo camping
trip when this woman pulls up ina jacked up forester and parks
right beside me.
And I'm a bit taken aback.
I mean, there's a whole desert.
Why park next to me?
(21:19):
But, before I can get sour aboutit, she pops out wearing flowing
linen and platform Tevas.
Archie (21:25):
Oh, now that's a sight.
Shelly (21:27):
She was that in spades.
She introduces herself as Nova,no last name, and says she's
heading a pop-up conservationcollective called Whisper Watch.
Archie (21:41):
Why do I feel like this ends with crystals and a
lawsuit?
Shelly (21:46):
You're not that far off.
Nova invites me to a groupsession in a nearby wash.
She says they've discovered anacoustic anomaly, a natural
chamber that echoes the grief ofthe land.
And I have to admit, well, she'sgot me curious.
Archie (22:02):
Curiosity, the start of most good adventures.
Shelly (22:05):
Mm-hmm.
Life would be awfully boringwithout curiosity.
And since we had nothing betterto do, Ralph and I decided to
check it out.
And sure enough, the wash isbeautiful.
Mm, A little too beautiful,steep, rocky walls with erosion
grooves.
I recognize it for what it isimmediately, a fragile zone
flagged in ranger warnings.
(22:26):
I tell Nova this.
She nods,"Yes.
That's why we're only holdingmorning sessions here." I
suggest moving the group alittle downhill where the rock
is stable.
Archie (22:36):
Gotta pay attention to those warning signs.
They're there for a reason, butI'm betting they didn't.
Shelly (22:41):
Well, actually, that's the thing.
They agree.
They even thank me.
Nova says she'll lead the groupout the next morning.
She even gives me a flowerinfused bracelet as Thanks.
Archie (22:52):
Wait, so so they listened.
Shelly (22:54):
They did at first.
But then they got distracted.
Archie (23:00):
They got distracted?
Mm-hmm.
How'd they do that?
Shelly (23:02):
Well, it was always something.
Someone said they heard a newsand tone.
Someone else just had to sketchthe energy lines of a Joshua
tree nearby, and a guy namedEcho set up a solar powered
gong, and they had to record itsresonance.
Archie (23:18):
In that spot exactly.
Shelly (23:20):
Exactly.
Something to do with the specialenergy given off by the wash
formation.
Archie (23:26):
It seems to me that setting off a gong in that area
may be asking for trouble.
Shelly (23:30):
For real.
I mean, you really don't needany prophecy abilities for that.
Just some common sense.
Anyway, every time I remindedthem, they said:"Just a little
bit longer.
We'll move soon." So I flag theperimeter, I make maps, I put up
signs that say erosion riskcaution.
Nova says I'm"anchoring thetransition with love," which is
(23:55):
fine, I guess.
Archie (23:57):
Uh, what transition is that?
Shelly (23:58):
I honestly don't know, but she was so sincere about it.
Archie (24:03):
I'm, I'm sure she meant it, whatever it was.
Shelly (24:06):
Well.
Morning came and instead ofpacking up, they started
preparing for a desert listeningceremony.
Ralph won't stop growling.
I tell them we need to go now.
Nova puts a calming hand on myshoulder and says,"You're right,
Shelly.
After this one last session."
Archie (24:27):
Famous last words.
Shelly (24:29):
Well, not last, thank goodness, but halfway through
the ceremony, as Nova's standingat the center of the wash
lighting sage, the rock above uscracks.
Ralph starts barking.
I yell for everyone to scatter.
Archie (24:45):
Oh no, here it comes.
Shelly (24:47):
Most of them do make a run for it.
But not Nova.
No.
She stands right there and achunk of sandstone about the
size of a canoe drops right infront of where she's standing.
Any closer, and she would havebeen squashed.
As it was, she's thrownbackward, bruised and dazed, but
(25:07):
alive.
The altar and listening speakersare destroyed by falling rocks.
It's chaos.
Someone screams"the earth isangry." Another starts singing,
I think in E minor.
I run to Nova.
She's holding her arm at thisweird angle and she's bleeding
in a couple of spots.
I patch her up, sling her arm,broken collarbone, and lead
(25:30):
everyone down to a safer zone.
The one I suggested.
Archie (25:33):
Did they finally believe you then?
Shelly (25:35):
Yeah, but they also said I"was a vessel for Gaia's
preemptive wisdom," which I'lltake, I guess.
I felt more like a desertCassandra.
Archie (25:49):
Man, it, it sure would've been hard not to say I
told you so.
Shelly (25:53):
I hope I didn't gloat, but you're right.
It was hard not to have the lastword, but I decided it'd be
better if I just made sureeveryone was okay, packed up
Ralph and headed home.
Archie (26:03):
I guess sometimes it doesn't matter how many warnings
you give, some folks need afallen rock to hear what you
said three days ago.
Shelly (26:11):
For real.
Archie (26:13):
Is that all of it?
Shelly (26:15):
It is.
Oh, so I guess we're moving on.
Who told it best?
Archie (26:21):
Yeah.
Shelly (26:22):
Was it Archie's run in with the destructive relative of
Johnny Appleseed and amysterious growing garden,
Archie (26:28):
Or Shelly's original tale with her cast as a modern
Cassandra in the SouthernCalifornia desert with a
distracted bunch ofconservationists.
Shelly (26:38):
After the show, head over to Instagram at
notquiterightgoods and vote.
We're keeping score and thewinner gets, well you get to
decide.
Archie (26:45):
Also on, on the podcast page, we've made a, a simple
form that goes straight toMiley, our producer, where you
can send in your suggestions forthe winner's prize.
Shelly (26:56):
And you can always drop us a line and let us know what
you think of the show too.
And maybe you have a tale, sendthem in, we'd love to hear them.
Archie (27:03):
Mm-hmm.
And we know you'll beconsiderate and not let words
fly harshly.
Criticism is one thing, butmeanness is another thing
altogether.
Shelly (27:14):
You know, I was just thinking, do you ever think
maybe distraction isn't alwaysbad?
Archie (27:20):
Uh, Shelly, we were talking about considerate
comments.
Shelly (27:24):
Right.
That's important too.
I don't wanna draw focus fromthat at all.
It's just distraction is on mymind.
I mean, sure, nearly got mygroup flattened by sandstone,
but sometimes it leads somewhereinteresting.
Archie (27:36):
And, and sometimes it leads to a town full of lemon
trees growing out of thesidewalk.
Shelly (27:41):
Which is good for a Sasquatch with a lemonade stand,
but maybe not so good for folkswith bikes and strollers.
Archie (27:48):
Well put, Shell.
You know who else had way youputting words to thoughts?
Shelly (27:52):
Well, I can name a few.
Archie (27:55):
Well, lemme save you the trouble.
I'm talking about Seneca, whofamously said:"He who is
everywhere is nowhere."
Shelly (28:04):
Meaning if you're scattered every which way, then
how can you be solidlysomeplace?
Archie (28:10):
It's a good reminder to stay focused or at least to
remember what you started.
If you're scattered, distracted,or trying to chase every wild
idea, you, you end up forgettingwhat you were actually doing in
the first place.
Shelly (28:23):
It's a good point you make'cuz.
My quote for today isn't asthought provoking and its source
is uncredited, but they're stillwise words.
Mine comes from a trail guidepamphlet that was halfway
dissolved by the time I read it.
It says:"There's no point inhaving a map if you never look
at it."
Archie (28:43):
Hmm.
Yeah.
Somewhere Seed is nodding inagreement.
And also probably trying toplant rutabagas in a bird bath.
Shelly (28:51):
Or planting seeds in a gas station median and calling
it accidental agriculture.
Archie (28:58):
We've all been there.
Intentions are good.
Follow through is well, don'tget distracted.
Shelly (29:06):
If you've ever forgotten what you're doing, mid task,
mid-sentence or well midanything, then you'll appreciate
this week's shirt.
Archie (29:14):
That's right.
It's from our stick figureseries and it says,"I came, I
saw, I forgot what I was doing."
Shelly (29:21):
Sums up this episode and most of my twenties.
Archie (29:24):
Yeah, you can find that one and plenty more at not quite
right goods.com.
Designed for wanderers, theabsent-minded and the easily
distracted.
Shelly (29:34):
Thanks for sitting with us a while.
Archie (29:36):
Yeah, you're always welcome on the porch.
Shelly (29:39):
Bye
Archie (29:40):
bye.
Joe (29:43):
This has been a not quite right goods production.
Starring Joe Laureiro is Archieand Holland Renton as Shelly.
Written, directed and edited byHolland Renton.
Music sourced via Descript stocklibrary.
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