Clash 7 Part 1

This week...the retro rocket returns for the first part of a 2 episode epic! We revisit 1989 and Clash of the Champions 7- Guts and Glory!

Episode Transcript

(00:09):
Top of the day fans, orperhaps it's two am and the wind is
high. Wherever this finds you,we hope we find you well. This
is the Man of Bullshit, GregSterner, along with Ricky Compton, the
Chetta Seretta, and this week ourretro Rocket returns for the first part of
the two episode epic. We willrevisit nineteen eighty nine and the Clash of

(00:31):
the Champions seven Gutson Glory. Seesuch great matches in your mind as we
commandeer the comedy rights of the FabulousFree Birds versus the Dynamic Dudes, Ranger
Ross and the Terrorist, the DingDongs versus Cougar Ja and George South,
the Midnight Express and the SST.And finally Terry Gordy and Steve Williams in

(00:54):
an epic with an epically bad ending. So buckle up in your roller coaster
Ulster because you're barreling down the tracksto your big seat at the Big Show.
Two rows from bringing Sat Welcome totwo rows from Ringside, And I

(01:41):
have to tell you I am excitedbecause right now Ricky and I have set
out on an epic journey and youall have the dubious distinction as a certain
gorilla behind the mic used to tellus during the late eighties and well eighties
and nineties, mister Monsoon used tosay, dubious distinction. Well, you

(02:05):
all have the dubious distinction of ridingwith us on our epic journey in the
retro Rocket for a gigantic two partThat means first part this week, second
part next week. Ricky and Iwill take the retro Rocket all the way
through this classic edition of Tell HimRicky Clash of the Champions seven, nineteen

(02:29):
eighty nine. Where was home Forge? Let's see where the show was?
I mean, well, they've gotany unprepared for my audience. Well,
that's all right. They've they've gota lieutenant and a governor who have promos
on this show. So I'm thinkingmaybe it was. And there's American flags
hanging all around in these pictures,so I'm thinking this was in Washington.
Let's see here, maybe Arlington.This was Ricky's on the Wikipedia entry Right

(02:55):
now, I'm sorry, don't theydon't make this easy. Bear with me
one second. Here you're gonna findit. This is very unprofessional. Well,
earlier we were looking at the matchlist and wait till we get into
this match list with you. ButRicky had noticed that one of the matches
was Bill Irwin and Sting, andhe said, who the heck's Bill Irwin?

(03:16):
And when I told him that BillIrwin was the man who eventually became
the Goon, you sort of gruntedwith a perplexed delight, wouldn't you say?
I did? And I found outthe venue a historic wrestling mecca,
the Fort Bragg. Jim, well, I was wrong. It's not Washington

(03:38):
or Arlington, it's Fort Bragg.Where is it North Carolina? Yes?
And I believe this was I thinkthis could have been the Clash the Champions
where Jim Cornette was mentioning it waslike one hundred and thirty degrees inside of
this. I could be wrong,but well, tell the fans what we
can expect during this explosion, ourrocket explosion ride through Clash of the Champions

(04:00):
seven. What are the what aresome of the highlights? I noticed a
main event of Terry Funk and RickySteamboat. That's a classic. That is
our main event. Then we havethe fabulous Freebirds versus the Dynamic Dudes.
This is my favorite Ranger Ross versusthe Terrorist They really weren't trying to hard,
were they not at all? Wehave Midnight Express Verse. Let me

(04:24):
see here the Simon Swat Team nowthat I can get into I can get
into that, the Future Headshrinkers.That was the sst the Varsity Club versus
the Steiner brother I'm a big SteinerBrothers fan. I'm looking forward to that
one. And also Doc versus Gordyright yes, and we have Sting versus
Bill Irwin, the Future Goon andh and much more action on this show

(04:49):
here. So so all YouTube rowsfrom ringside fans need to do to enjoy
the next two weeks of content withus is to go on the ww network
jumped to Clash at the Champions sevenfrom nineteen eighty nine, and you can
pause us while you get where youneed to be. But Ricky in just

(05:09):
a moment is going to give usa three two one and we're gonna go
for it. And we are gonnago here in three two one, And
of course we say three two one, only to be followed by a little
bit of second buffering and a seventeensecond add from the WWE Network. I'm

(05:32):
gonna I'm gonna make fun of thisadd if it sucks so right, it's
it's a comic book. They're doinga comic book style. There's no sound,
there's a lot of buffering. Althougheven in this little clip, Ricky,
isn't it such a stark difference seeingwrestling with an audience? Yeah,
to say the least, versus thishorrible funeral wrestling we've been seeing. But

(05:54):
here we are, okay, startingat one second, here we got a
lieuten General Carl Steiner talking. Iwonder if he's related to Rick and Scott.
I would say no. He lookslike he's a little bit of a
dog faced gremlin himself. There.Yeah, this is not a man that
you'd want to mess with. Lookslike he's seen some things, to say
the least. How many people hasthat man killed? A lot? And

(06:19):
it looks like he's gonna kill me. Now, So Fayetteville, North Carolina.
We're getting a little tour of thebattlefield here in the intro, you
know, WCW okay, So thisis what This was a top ten showdown,

(06:41):
number one ranked Ricky Steamboat versus numberten ranked Terry Funk. This was
so Terry Funk could go higher inthe top ten and eventually get a title
shot against Flair. Plus we havea World Tag Team Title tournament. Oh
those these matches are for the WorldTag title tave. I like the tag
nun guts and glory, guts andglory, No guts, no glory.

(07:03):
And that does look like a gym, and that Jim is packed. It
is packed. You know what itlooks like. It looks kind of like
a high school graduation or something onthe South. It looks like a larger
ECW arena. Yeah, it actuallydoes. And that's what you like to
see, Ricky. We've got We'vegot women, We've got men, we've
got kids. Oh yeah, wegot a very diverse back with the wrestling

(07:27):
audience was not ninety nine percent eighteento forty nine year old males. Jim
Ross young looks so funny. Thiswas Jim Ross. I mean, think
about the amount of shit that guywent through. I don't mean to cut
you off, but like a youngJim Ross, does he not just look
like the most approachable human being inthe entire or I don't know. I

(07:49):
think if that guy came into myoffice trying to sell me insurance, I
would be very leerious. I thinkit looks like he looks like a friendly
but very ruthless salesman. I thinkhe could sell me anything I would buy.
I would buy from Jim. I'mabout to buy his main event mustard
because he's actually sold me on Andwhen I listened to his podcast, he
talks about it constantly. I actuallywhen i'd try it now. So you

(08:11):
have a nice little shout out hereto the military as it was an eight
gun salute, some type of salutegoing on here in the ring, which
is pretty cool to see. Youdon't see that too often. No,
lots of lots of American flags.The soldiers are doing a demonstration mid ring,
and they're actually standing for the nationalanthem, as is the crowd.

(08:35):
Oh, it's nice to see itis you know. Pro wrestling is one
of the cornerstones of American entertainment,Ricky. And sometimes you need to look
look upon your military and honor thema little bit throughout the context of your
fake sporting event. I wholeheartedly agree. And a pretty damn cool fly over
two of helicopters. I was talkingabout Jim Ross there before they broke into

(08:58):
the national anthem them and I wassaying, and I have not removed my
hat help disrespectful. I'm gonna dothat now. And Ricky, I think
Jim Ross was quite the ruthless salesman. I think that actually is a large
part of his personality. He refersto himself as an alpha male. We
don't normally think of Jim Ross likethat, but I think he is a

(09:20):
high dominant personality, very sales minded, very very aggressive and ambitious. Look
at the guy's life, so goodOld Jr. Is like kind of a
character. But I think the guyhimself is quite the and I mean ruthless
in a good way, like aguy that would not be denied his goals.
Yeah, well, he's definitely paidhis dues, worked his way up
to say the league. He's paidseveral men's dues as the head of the

(09:45):
WWF talent relations that talk about talkabout a thankless job. And now we're
seeing some looks like some WCW superstarshere participating in a boot camp, some
bootcamp drills. They're going down awall of year. Scott Steiner was just
scaling a wall. I rick Steiner, hope they don't let him near any
dynamite or tanks. Yeah this iscool, Ricky. Uh, this very

(10:09):
very involved sort of tribute to themilitary in the in the opening segments here,
you know, and obviously this isthis is years years before September eleventh,
But I just can you imagine awrestling show at a military base and
one of the heels is called theterrorist. Back in the good old days
of nineteen eighty nine, you couldsay such things in jest, Uh,

(10:33):
Missy Hyatt flirting with Scott Steinner there. I wonder if they shag. Later
on, there's Ranger Ross training tofight the terrorist? Does Ross doesn't Ranger
Ross? I think it could beuh screaming Norman smile as brother a little.
Yeah, I think they're cousins.J I got a little excited talking

(10:56):
about Missy Hyatt there, and Missygoes down the zip line. I'd like
her to is it in my line? We all know what you were doing
to miss Hyan's image around Thanksgiving,Ricky. We don't have to remind the
scarred fans about it. Is thatthe rosy palm. Yes, Ranger Ross

(11:24):
seems like the nicest guy in theworld. He does, but you know
what, um now, I don'twant to accuse the guy of something that
he wasn't. He didn't actually do. But I think that Ranger Ross's career
ended wrapped up in scandal. Ithink there was some involvement in a sexual
assault. Oh well, then Itracked my statement. Oh, Ricky,

(11:46):
I'm gonna let you describe what's comingout of the ring. We have Shane
Douglas and do you know his tagteam partner here, that's actually Johnny,
said John Laurinitis. Oh my gosh. And these are are these the Surfer
dudes, the Dynamic dud the Dynamicdudes, and oh my god. They
are wearing these short pink booty shortswith these yellow hats, throwing Frisbees out

(12:13):
into the crowd, and they lookthey looked like two men who enjoy the
company of other men. Let's setthat way to be, to be nice
about it. And two world classmullets too here with Johnny. Oh here
they come. Like their music,it's a little bit like it's a knockoff

(12:39):
of Freebird. Yeah, that's whatit is. It's a knockoff of the
Leonard scindrd song which used to betheir theme music before Michael Hayes had the
hit with Bad Street USA, whichwas a hell of a theme song.
Wasn't it, Ricky. Yes,bad, street, nasty and hot and
uh, you know this is theversion of the Free Birds that included Jimmy
jam Garbin and not Buddy Roberts.H. But they still have the enforcer

(13:03):
out there, Big Gordy has rejoinedthe team. I think this was after
one of after Gordy had become astar in Japan, either after or right
before his first tour there. I'mpretty sure this was after. You want
to crank it down just a littlebit, rick I want to make sure

(13:24):
that's not drowning us out here.That's that's that's good, Uh, because
I get a little bit excited hereat the uh the sights and sounds of
eighty nine w c W. Imean this is going way bas is right,
this is this was still rastling.Yeah, this was This was when

(13:45):
rassling was rassling. And it's aSouthern crowd too. That military stuff plays
even better down south. I'd hateto say it so like nothing matters.
Of course it matters, but thatthat kind of stuff plays a lot better
below the Mason Dixon line then evenit does up north. I've said it
before and I'll say it again.I am an early nineties WWF mark.

(14:07):
But man, the late eighties earlyWCWS was so good in the ring,
and you know, you you findyou kind of had the feeling like this
could be a UWF show, thiscould be a world class show. That
all that Southern wrestling of the timehad kind of a similar vibe to it.
Of course there were differences, butthey all had a similar vibe to

(14:30):
a degree, and WCW had hadretained uh that vibe, and I've spoken
to that point at nauseum, Butthe n ring NWA was, oh,
they had it all way compared tolike nineteen eighty nine WWF where it's it
just felt so geriatric. Yeah,it was almost like like WCW NWA of

(14:54):
the late eighties early nineties was likeuh, jagged rocks in the round appids
and WWF was like very slow movingglaciers and still a lot yes, And
you know, if we start talkingabout wrestling as it relates to the deeps
of the ocean, Ricky's going tostart talking about Leviathans, Like on last

(15:18):
week's show. I was just listeningto it a couple of days ago when
it aired, and you he said, if if somebody gets to a certain
weight. You know this Instead ofthe doctor saying, hey, you know
you might be morbidly obese. Yougotta lose some weight, they just like
you are a visually classified at thispoint as a I guess I'm not that

(15:43):
much of justice this matcher, Soyou got Yeah, the match is actually
really good. Um, Jimmy jamGarmin just got tagged in by Michael Hayes.
He's flipped over immediately in an armdrag by Johnny Ace who tags in?
I mean did was Shane doug Us? Ever? That young Ricky?
I know, my god looked he'sso he's fifteen years old. But you
know, I like this match.It's it's fast paced, but it still

(16:04):
makes sense and you can still processit. It's like we were talking about
the Breton baby Boy match last week, which, by the way, fans,
I have to apologize for lying.We are eventually going to get to
Ricky's favorite match and Sam Mitchell's favoritematch in one of our fantastic favorite segments,
but we decided to switch things uphere for the next two weeks and
watch a big show together, sothose fantastic favorite segments will still be yet

(16:30):
to come in the future. Soit wasn't a total lie, just a
minor lie. Now you got MichaelHayes and Jimmy garvind stomp in the proverbial
mud hole in Shane Douglas. Andthen Michael Hayes decides to do a ravishing
Rick Rude like hip hip swivel.That was an unpleasant look. And Terry
Gordy is walking outside and he justlooks like a bouncer at some biker bar,

(16:51):
Terry Guardy. Terry Gordy had apresence about him unlike any other wrestler
I can think of. Yeah,he is just a scary looking dude and
what U And he looks like hekind of looks like if Mick Jagger,
if Mick Jagger and a four hundredpound woodswoman would have had a child,

(17:14):
that kind of looks like the productwould have been Terry Gordy. And what
a fantastic wrestler up until he hadhis stroke on the plane due to the
drug abuse where he slipped into acoma and he was never the same again.
Oh, Michael Hayes just tried totake a shot there at Johnny Ason
pop Jimmy jam Garvin right in thechops. Ricky so great seeing a crowd

(17:37):
that's so diverse, being so investedin what's going on in the ring.
That's a hot crowd. You know, none of this, Uh, this
is awesome, you know, trainedbarking. See. Well, what's the
other one that's so that they sayit's so pathetic? Um like something like
we don't want this to end?Well, I thought I thought you were
gonna stay. Say he still gotit. That's my least favorite. But
what's the one like, please don'tend? They hands something like that.

(18:03):
I don't ever want to leave thisarena over this match. We're all depressed.
We're all deepressed. Yeah, we'venever had sex. We've never had
sex. Frozen pizzas, Mom's baand hey, to any of you two
rose from ringside fans who have notyet had sex, Me and Ricky have

(18:26):
the supreme comment is that you will, in fact get late in the next
twelve months. I've been married almostfive years and I still haven't had sex.
I thought, that's that's when youstop having it. That's when you
that's when you brought on your mistress. Rosie. Now the free Birds boy

(18:49):
Michael Hayes looks like a hairy Reeseball doesn't he guess like Cadillac sales.
Yeah, it's total scumbag. He'sgot he's got red lights on with like
tied up almost like shoelaces up theside. Jimmy Garmin actually looks kind of
badass here. If you see himnow, you wouldn't even be able to

(19:11):
tell us the same human. He'ssort of like a dumpy, chubby,
bald guy. And you know thatthose are my favorite kind of people.
You're sitting next to one. It'swho I see in the mirror every day,
and you're sitting next to one aswell, Jimmy Jim Garvin looks like
he's related to us these days.But he got out of wrestling and actually
had quite a successful career. SoI have to ask my mom if Jimmy

(19:32):
Garvin's my dad? What has shetold you? Yes? Like, what
if I just was at home tomorrowwith my family and my mom knocks on
the door and she's like, Ricky, I have to talk to you,
And I'm like, sure, Mom, what's going on? I need you
to sit down at the kitchen table, and I need to rest your family
to go upstairs. Ricky. There'sno easy way to put this, but

(19:56):
the father that you know isn't actuallyyour bio magical father. Well, mom,
what are you talking about? Ifhe's not my dad, then who
is your dad? Your real dadis James Garvin, James James Garvin.
You might actually know him better asJimmy jam Garmin of the Fabulous Freebirds.

(20:22):
Now the dynamic dudes are working overthe Freebirds here, Michael Hayes has got
five turnbuckle headshots. The dudes area little sloppy here, wouldn't you say,
Ricky a little bit? But Itell you what not to go back
to the crab. But they haven'tsat down yet. No, no,
this is definitely they're hot fit opener. So we just we had a double
drop kick knock Hayes out of thering. And now Jimmy Garvin took a

(20:45):
double backdrop, but Hayes is rightback in there. And now we've got
a double team. Hayes goes forthe tights of Douglas as Douglas was pounding
on Jimmy jam in the corner.Now you got both dudes in the ring
and only Jimmy jam Garvin does notlook good for the free Birds here.
I thought Gordy was going to tripup Douglas. There, roll up behind

(21:07):
the referees back. That's never agood sign. DDT, it's over.
This one is over. Tommy Youngcounts the three on Shane Douglas a blind
DDT as the finisher. Well,this would make Jr. Happy these days,
Ricky, the somebody won the matchwith the DDT. Yes, I
agree. And the man that youwon at your twenty first birthday party,

(21:36):
Terry Gordy leading the charge around thering. Now, and there's my dad,
there's your dad, Old Jimmy jamJim Cornett actually did say around this
time the Free Birds, I guessthought they were portraying more badass guys than
they actually were. They were lookedat more badass, and they would have
matches with the Midnight Express. Irefused to sell for the Midnight Express,

(22:00):
and like Cornett would hit Jim JimmyGarvin for instance, with a tennis racket
and he would barely sell it.And I think Cornette still has a little
heat with those guys to this daybecause of that. I don't know,
what is that, Greg Valentine,Oh, it's Ricky. It's Jack Victory,

(22:22):
former flag bearer of the of thesheepherders. Oh my god, good
Paulie dangerous? Why was Jack Victoryon that commercial? Because they've switched to
Paulie dangerously talking on the phone atringside, bopping a guy in the head
with it, and it's a it'sa hotline advertisement. But I want to
know what the fuck was Jack Victorydoing on a hotline advertisement? Oh?

(22:44):
So here you got the free Birdsjust a clip of the Freebirds being interviewed
by Lance Russell. There. Rememberwe saw him on our Pandora's box Joe
Lduke cut his arm with the axe. The Yeah, that was very unsettling.
I forgot all about that. I'mglad I did phone number no longer
active, Like, you know,there's someone out there that's like, oh

(23:07):
my god, I have to callthat. Who is the poor fucker at
WW that has to go through allthese old tapes and like cut out phone
numbers and addresses and shit like canyou imagine the attention to detail that goes
into that. Now we have ahelicopter bringing in some type of field artillery.
Welcome back, Clatch of the Champion, seven Guts and glory. Oh

(23:33):
and of course you know they gotto remind you that this is a military
based show, because right now onthe ring, I'm afraid we're looking at
the terrorist, Ricky, Oh mygod, the terrorist is wearing it looks
like he's wearing the Great Mooda's maskwith a camouflage jacket. The worst excuse
for a terrorist I've ever seen.Do you know who the terrorist was?

(23:56):
I know you're kind of a historian, you know what. I didn't even
remember that this man which ever tookplace, So I don't know who the
terrorist is, but I think wemight be looking at the rapist there now,
Ranger Ross being over right now asan understatement, Well, so let
me let me ask you. Let'sput a damper on this for any two
because here's the big patriotic entrance,and that's great, and Ranger Ross could

(24:21):
have been a good role model.But I do believe there's a sexual assault
story here. Would you mind doingme a favorite, Ricky? Would you
google Ranger Ross legal troubles or someversion of that Ranger Ross, Megan looks
on your phone tomorrow, just theseRanger Ross legal trouble, legal troubles,

(24:41):
the personal life. Well actually,well, Ranger Ross was actually in the
army, which is cool. Washe was a real ranger. Let's see,
Yes, he actually was a realranger. So this gimmick is is
rather fitting Ranger Ross legal. Iwant to know the time that he made

(25:10):
a female companion his own private prisonerof war. The terrorist is choking Ranger
Ross with his flag jacket. Nowthat terrorist looks like crap. I'm gonna
say it was probably Buddy Lee Parkeror the other guy that the other James
whatever his name is, from theState Patrol. Well, I don't want
to say it's worse, because itdoesn't get much worse than hitting a woman.

(25:34):
However, it says here it wasaround nineteen ninety six when Ross allegedly
robbed a bank in Acworth, Georgia. It is also a rumored that Ross
attempted to burn down the local policeprecinct to try and destroy evidence against him.
Ross was indeed charged and found guiltyof armed robbery and spent over six
years in prison for the crime.Wow, so, I say, Eagle

(26:00):
issues is a bit of an understandThere was no sexual assault there. I
had that part wrong, you hadI thought that it was sexual assault.
I my memory must have jumbled itwith another wrestler's crime. There's certainly been
plenty of wrestlers who have gotten intothe sexual assault game. But Ricky right
now, back here, this wasseven years before his turning, turning his

(26:22):
life to crime, and Ranger Rossis an awful wrestler. He hit one
move yet that was what you calljust a quick squash match. It was
a squash, but I mean ithit. Every bit of his offense sucked.
It looks like he's got two leftfeet. He's like a bow legged
kangaroo in there. He has somecrazy bad drop kicks followed by a super

(26:45):
kick that missed by a mile.That that ended the match. That was
terrible, right, Well, Isuppose that's why Ranger Ross was never the
NWA heavyweight jail yet. That's whyhe had to resort to robbing banks later
on, because he never made thebig money in wrestling. Look at look
at some of these moves. Looklook got an awkward, clumsy, oafly
guy. Is that was some bullshitsquare on the chin, Oh, Bob

(27:07):
coddle you I thought we could trustyou square in the belly button. Well,
Ranger Ross, we wish it wouldhave turned out better for you.
Pat. You probably shouldn't have triedto kill people and burnt evidence and burnt
evidence burned down a police BRIEFINGCT nota good move. And right now we're

(27:30):
just seeing uh, several different umRoad Warrior entrances to the song iron Man
and that. Can you believe theykept the song in for this unbelievable here.
Let's let's fans of a mouthful pretrolright now. So they actually kept

(27:51):
a video in here with the unlessthat's knockoff music. I mean, listen
to a little closer here. Ilike, there's like there was no explanation
of this vignette. No, itjust started and it starts showing the Road
Warriors pounding, pounding on people enteringthe ring, and they do have it
like a knockoff version of iron Manplaying. Well, this was videos back

(28:15):
in the day for you, especiallyvideos not produced by Titan Ricky. Not
on him. We're not up tosnuff, but this wasn't like before we
start the match, let's fill youin on what's been No, were just
watching this vignette of them pounding people. Let's just show these guys wrecking other
guys. I'll tell you what.I was a big fan of the Varsity
Club. I thought that was agood gimmick. Microtunda is the man are

(28:41):
you talking about? VK. WallStreet or Irwin R. Shyster Erwin Ars.
I just remember him on Survivor seriesninety three on the eve of Thanksgiving
It's your Responsibility, where he callsup the Boston Garden. He's like,
you tax cheets, better be thankfulthat I don't come to your house to

(29:03):
audit you. Can you imagine beingbeing a guy and a kid in the
crowd or or or a guy inthe crowd and their early moundies and you
watch I RS and he and hestarts calling you everybody tax sheets, Like
would you be enraged by somebody callingyou a tax sheet enough that you'd want
to, like, you know,storm the ring on him? Maybe if
I really was a tax cheat,maybe he son of a bitch. Don't

(29:27):
tell people the truth. So JimRoss is in the ring. Now he's
about to do uh okay, JimRoss introducing Gary Hart and the Great MOODA.
Here we're gonna see some kind ofa demonstration by Muda. Looked looked

(29:51):
otherworldly and very unique. Back backwhen he first debuted, he was like
getting baby face pops at this timebecause he was so unique and so yeah,
he's definitely cool looking. Coal MinersGlove Match the main event of Spin
the Wheel, Make the Deal oneand my coal Miners Glove Match. So

(30:12):
now I have two scrubs in thering. I didn't even catch the scrubs
names, did you No? ButI can find them for us. One
guy looks like the other guy's father. So Mudha has bright white kabuki like
face paint on red blood red Japanesecharacters, and green lipstick, and and

(30:34):
you know the dye that's in hismouth from when he sprays his colored mist.
And here you got Gary Hart doinga promo. Could these be the
Could that team be the ding Dongs? So Gary Hart is calling both of
these jobbers guy Jeans. That's thename for American wrestlers in Japan. I'm

(30:59):
sorry, Ricky, what what whatdid you say there that I rudely ignored?
I don't see the because this goesin order. It says the fabulous
three Birds get the dramic dudes.Then there was Ranger Ross versus the Terrorist.
Now it says the ding Dongs verusCougar Jay and George The ding Dongs
s j uh well so so h. Maybe those guys are just in the

(31:23):
ring waiting for the next match.Yeah, I don't think I don't think
so. Greg Gary Hart one ofthe great heel managers. A real sense
of menace came from him. Notto cut you off out out of it,
looking very hard as sweating buckets,but he's talking about how women in

(31:47):
the Orient know their place. Hadlook looks like an egg that just emerged
the surface in a swimming pool.Whoa hot stuff, Eddie Gilbert just came
in there and through a fireball.I guess he was trying to throw one
at the Great Luda, but hehit he hit one of those poor jobbers.
He hit one of the ding dongs. Well, those guys are not
the ding dongs. But no,the ding dongs. You'll you'll see the

(32:10):
ding dongs. You'll know the dingdongs when you see the ding dongs.
I thought I was looking at thedingo. No, the ding dongs wear
actual bells. Rickie. Uh,there's hot stuff, heady Gilbert. Are
those are the worst excuse for footwearI've ever seen on him. Man,
it looks like he's got Aditas sneakersthat morph into cowboy boots. At the
top. That is horrendous. Thoseare terrible and he doesn't seem to feel

(32:35):
that bad about the fact that hejust threw fire in this poor bastard's face.
And yeah, no go. Nowwe've got to a soldier with an
M sixteen. It's like on fullcamouflage, Ricky. He looks a little
bit like he looks like the stalkerBerry Wyndham from the ninety six WWF.

(33:00):
Now we've got several, uh arethose? So here's here's Eddie Gilbert.
Well, they're totally exposing how fireballsmade there with the flash paper. But
he threw it right in. Iwant to know why he thought that was
going to hit anybody, but thatpoor jobber, he didn't even get it

(33:21):
close to Muda. So Eddie Gilbert, terrible blunder there burning an innocent man.
But now you have Cougar Ju andGeorge South right. Yes, you
know, I think Cougar j mightbe Joey Casada. He had gotten into

(33:47):
a busling years ago. Oh mygod, that is Joey Casada. I'm
calling him right now. I'm beinga cougar Jam. Why didn't you tell
us about your cougar Ja days JoeyElicious. I want to know why Cougar
Jay was not the world's heavyweight champion. Oh my god, that hair not
yet you thought the other two guyswith the ding Dogs my terrible? Are

(34:16):
those outum? Is this real life? For? For our younger fans who
have not seen this, please describethe ding Dogs. I can't even greg
you're a hathen. I can't eveneven know what I describe the color of
their haufits in a latex suit.I'm gonna call this orange pink. And

(34:37):
they have bells all over themselves,bells all over themselves, around their waist,
around their boots, and they evenhad a bell in the ring that
they would Yeah, there's a bellin the corner of the ring. They
look like two adults like dressed likebower rangers. They the I've seen special

(34:58):
needs drom dressed his power Rangers thatwere more intimidating than the ding Dong.
What do you think the Dingdongs gotpaid that night? I think look at
look at the guy. Look atthe guy at the corner the ding Dong.
Oh my god, he just botchedthat sunset flips so bad. Did
you see that? Yes, dingDong number one just botched the ship out

(35:19):
of a corner sunset flip, andthe Bob Coddle is shitting all over the
ding Dongs, and so is JimRoss at this point. Now, what
is that bell in the corner?It's there. They're the ding Dong,
So they haven't bell in the club. The guy's just sitting it, sitting
there, ringing it like a maniac, while the guy in the ring botches
moves and now the bell ringer comesout pretty sweet. So he did sort

(35:42):
of a leg drop flip leg dropon the arm. That was a pretty
decent move. George South is like, at the fuck off of me?
You ding But who did these guysburn in the NWA to become the ding
Dog? I don't even know whothey were. I don't think either guy
ever made a name in wrestling outsideof this gimmick. If I'm correct,
I don't even know what their namesare. But I've never heard of either
one of them doing anything else.I mean, this may be worse than
the repo man. This may belike the worst gimmick. I've got bells

(36:07):
around their feet and now we're doinga criss cross. Both ding Dongs are
in their double hip toss. I'msurprised when the other guy got in there
from the ding Dongs, they didn'tstart botching moves again. Now there's an
arm twist. I wonder if Ican go, if I go on eBay
right now, if I can finda whole bunch of ding Dong memorabilia,

(36:28):
I'm thinking no, it would eitherbe really inexpensive or unbelievably expensive. Well,
I'll tell you this, one ofthem did a fes press. George
South kicked out pretty easily from there. Well, I want to know why
we haven't seen more of Cougar jin there. So I'm gonna ask you
something. Greg. A lot ofpeople when they talk about the greatest tag
teams ever. You'll hear the SteinerBrothers, you'll hear Midnight Express, You'll

(36:51):
hear Arn and Tully, the dingDogs. Would you would you say they're
in the conversation? Well, certainlynot when compared with other illustrious team is
like George South and Coogan Jay andJoey Casada and Joey Casada back in the
back in the eighties. I can'tbelieve he didn't tell us he was Coober
Jay. I'm a little offended.By that now, dude, These ding

(37:15):
Dogs are the worst. I wanted. I almost wish we weren't doing a
podcast right now because I wanted Iwould like to listen to this match with
you with just the commentary to hearJim Ross and Bob Coddles literally shitting all
over it as we're just like,fuck this podcast, fans, deal with
our deal with our five minutes ofsilence. Oh they just botched another move.

(37:37):
These ding Dogs are the absolute shits. George South is like, I
know it's the only way I couldget on Clash of the Champions, but
these guys suck. So what doyou think they got paid twenty bucks in
a six pack each? I thinkthey I hope they got paid fifty bucks
to never show their faces again.Well they're not showing their faces now,
looking another ding Dogs slip off again. This guy's the worst knee dropped from

(38:04):
the top. That's going to doit for the ding Dongs. I think,
oh my god, the ding Dongsgo over, dude. That one
ding Dong botched every move he attemptedin this match, and literally no crowd
pop, no fan reaction for thefans are like, who the hell are
these guys. So this is whywhen people talk about late eighties WCW and
like how horrible Jim Hurd was,that's a Jim Hurd idea right there.

(38:30):
Like what sometimes I could see agimmick and say, well, yeah,
it turn out to be goofy andstupid. But I guess you could see
where the creative was, like,yeah, how they thought it might be
good. But who sat down andsaid, yeah, let's come up with
the team and call him the dingDogs because this will just be so great,
Ricky, do you know what?One of his other ideas for a

(38:52):
tag team was the Hunchbacks, andhe wanted he wanted a tag team with
the Hunchbacks because they the tag teamchampions, because you couldn't pin them because
they shouldn't get their shoulders on themat. Oh my god. And Kevin
Sulliman, who had had to literallysit there and entertain this nonsense as being

(39:13):
part of the booking committee, saidwell, why wouldn't I just book a
falls count anywhere match, dig ahole, put their hump in the hole
and pin them match. So nowwe come back from another break here,
Well, that Ding Dong's match wasgod, oh, that was the best
match of the night. I forgothow terrible those guys were. Fans.

(39:34):
If you ever get to see thison the network, go out of your
way just to watch the ding Dogsmatch. I swear the one ding Dong
blew every single move. All right, who we got now? Ah,
the Midnight Express here they come.This is the Eaton and stan Lane version
of the Midnight Express, and it'svery shameful that the WWE network has enited

(40:00):
out. They're awesome, real thememusic with this generic crap they're coming down
to now. But the Midnight Expresshad that classic music that everybody knows.
Because there's rights fees that WWF doesn'twant to pay, so they replace it
with their generic in house music,which is garbage. Well, look how

(40:20):
young Jim Cornette looks here. Thiswas five years before he managed the WWF
champion Yokol Zunet WrestleMania ten in themain event. It was five years away
from that, thirty years away frombeing the shock jock podcast host. I'll
let you track a little Cornette here. A fan just came in the ring

(40:45):
and they're waiting it out that Midnightsare getting real close. Jim Cornette just
said, these men just saved yourlife. Look uh eating one at a
piece of him. Wrestlers basically it'sopen season. If the phone comes in
the ring, the wrestlers are basicallyallowed to tee off on them. And

(41:07):
yes, these guys just saved yourlife. Well let's just sleep at all.
I think Stan Lane was just doingthe big wiggle there before the high
five. That was unpleasant to lookat. And here comes the Samoan Swat
Team with this is the head shrink. It is both of them. Yeah,
this is Fat two and Saint muin WCW. They were known,

(41:30):
of course as the Samoan Swat Teamand managed of course by the future Paul
Hayman at this point known as PaulE. Dangerously and he was named that
Ricky because somebody said he looked heresembled Michael Keaton, who was in the
movie Johnny Dangerously And that's how thename stuck. Can you imagine somebody now

(41:54):
comparing Paul Hayman to Michael Keaton Avery bloated yes, but look he how
old would you think Paul Hayman wasthere? If you didn't know Paul,
I'm trying to get over the haircut, I would say mid thirties. Yeah,
he was in his early twenties here, Ricky, Oh my gosh,

(42:20):
because think about it, this wasthirty years ago. Yeah, you're right.
So now I have Polly dangerously cuttinga promo on Jim Cornette. Jim
Cornette just took a big swing itdangerously with the racket. Those two were
about to start a feud. NowCornette just flipped out of the ring.

(42:42):
Now he's chasing Polly dangerously while yougot Midnights and the Simone Swat Team doing
four way. Actually the ring,somebody in the crowd just throw a chair.
Oh god, this is chaos.Oh that was a little bit of
a box there. Yeah. Ithink they meant to. Uh, they
got their signals crossed, and Ithink stan Lane was supposed to backdrop Fatoo,

(43:04):
but Fatto botched it. Now stanLane pounding away on him. You
didn't usually see botches like that fromeither of these teams. I gotta give
the Midnight's credit on that swanky yellowgear. What do you think, Ricky?
Yeah, staring at the sun.Yeah, Now, I will say

(43:25):
this Moan Swat teams gear is alittle girlish. From my taste for a
Samoan Swat team. They're supposed tobe these like big scary Island boys who
who would kill you. Yes,it's all in the same family, these
guys are. These guys are inthe same bloodline with ming and they're wearing

(43:45):
what looks like, um it waslike the decals that that you stuck on
my pretty pony. Those are thatis not effective gear. Well, thank
you, thank you, But Eatongets a gut shot now across the rope,
swinging neck breaker. I love howJim Cornette sells every move outside.

(44:07):
You know, we learned that BobbyHeenon was Jim Cornett's idol as a manager.
Really, yes, that's who heemulated, and that's a Bobby heenanism.
Bobby Heenen said, manage like awrestler and wrestle like a manager,
meaning if he ever had to wrestlea match, be a sniveling coward like
you're a manager. But then whenyou're outside the rings, sell everything that

(44:28):
happens to your guy. Manage likea wrestler, wrestle like a manager.
Yes, Jim Cornett's very animated outsideof the ringing. Yeah, so he's
taking Heman's advice there. You know, I really like the way they have.
I don't know if the Fort BraggMilitary Jim or whatever this place is

(44:49):
that they hold events, and Idon't know if it's always like that.
Sam U just hit a thrust kickat Eaton's head that broke the momentum.
Now Samone swat teams stomping away.Nick Patrick is rocking a mustache here.
But I don't know if. Idon't know if the place is always decked
out with that American flags all aroundthe perimeter. But I like that look

(45:13):
a lot. Adds a lot tothe TV presentation, like the American flags
around the ring. Aprin too.Yeah, Oh big clothesline by two knocked
Eaton down, Ricky. I gottaask you, do you think I'm gonna
give you three names here? I'mgonna give you a Sean Michaels of the

(45:34):
early nineties, Bobby Eaton as yousee him right now, and Mike Austole.
And I want you to tell mewho has the most glorious of the
bullets. Oh that's tough, I'vegot to say. In my opinion,
I think I have a clear choice, but I want to know yours before

(45:59):
I reveal mine. I mean,maybe Bobby, just because the color of
his mullet over the edge. Yeah, the colors, you know, takes
it to the next level. ButMike Austin had a serious, serious and
he was rocking it in the latenineties, which was the crazy like he
was, Like he was as badas me. I was rocking a mullet

(46:21):
up until like ninety six. Iwould love to see a picture of that
and frame that and put it inmy living room. Here. Well,
we have said before that eventually,when when two Rows gets to the next
level, we're gonna have our We'regonna make our one of our t shirts
be yours and mind our senior graduationpictures next to our two Rows promo.

(46:42):
Pick the best was the picture ofhe and the stash from years ago.
That was step Dad Gary. Thatwas one of my favorite pictures. The
Southern Lawyer, Yeah, the lawyerfrom Knoxville. So Ricky, I was

(47:02):
jabbering through the whole intro. Hereis this is this one of the tag
team title tournament matches? Did youcatch that? Because I saw the little
the video thing that said the tagteam Tournament, but I didn't know,
like if that's actually going on tonightor are they kind of advertising for that
in the future. I didn't catchthat because we are just giggling and carrying

(47:27):
on. So stan Lane just cameup behind Fat two there and need him
in the back, and Fat twodid not sell it. I do not
think stan Lane is all that happywith mister Fatto right now in real life.
But anyway, I agreed with you. I forgot to d my own
little bit. I think you wereright that Bobby Eton wins out of the
three of them as the most gloriousof the mullets. So stan Lane now

(47:52):
working with Fato doing some karate,and what do you think is Fatto under
selling him Ricky? Or am Iimagining I mean starting not overselling him.
Wow, what a great side Russianlight sweep by stan Lane there. That
was perfectly executed. Fato sold thatat least. But now we got both

(48:12):
teams in there again, Ricky,four way tornado tag team action going on.
It's funny because there's now there's fourpeople in the ring. But it
wasn't like a total spot fest,you know what I mean? Right,
It's almost it was almost just twoguys beating on each other in each corner.
Well, okay, now what's goingon here? This is totally breaking
down. The Road Warriors are inthere and attacking both teams, Ricky,

(48:38):
or maybe they weren't attacking both teams. They were just attacking the Samoans.
So they were running an angle herewith the simoonan swat team in the Road
Warriors. I didn't remember that one. But the Midnights just won the match.
Now I thought I thought the Midnightswere the heels. That's because they
were getting all that heat when theycame out. Yeah, one guy was
up on the ray. Well,the Midnights were always a team that got

(49:00):
a pretty healthy baby face reaction inaddition to all the heat. Like there
were a lot of people that likedthem in that express even though they were
heals. So yeah, I wasa little confused when they came in,
But you're right, it was justthe headshrinkers that they attacked. Well,
the Legion of Doom. Look atthis was on the tail end of like

(49:22):
their big big run as as justcrazy monster baby faces that just crushed everyone.
Now they didn't really get I mean, they were big in WWF,
but they weren't like as big asthey weren't in WA right. Uh No,
they were much bigger in the NWAand the AWA than they ever became

(49:44):
in the WWF. Well, Igotta give it to whoever produced this show,
really putting in some great military clips. Parachuting the back with the shirt
unb it looks like something we knowat my bachelor party. Look at Jim

(50:10):
ras a much East sweating. It'sgotta be hot as hell in there,
so look at it. That isthat the shadow or is that sweat?
So now they're going back to theMay seven, nineteen eighty nine clip.
The third match in the trilogy thatyou love so much, Rickey, the

(50:30):
Flair Steamboat trilogy. Uh, TerryFunk coming in there after the match and
attacking um. Actually this was awrestle war, was it? Was it
called Raging Cajun It might have been. You might be right, you know
what. I think it was inNashville, So I don't If it wasn't

(50:52):
Nashville, then it wasn't Raging Cages. The second yeah, that was in
the Superdome, so that would makesense. And they were there were only
five thousand people in the Superdome fromthat, Ricky, that's why most of
the arena was black dark. Andhere, remember we're looking at this spot
in nineteen eighty nine, Funk liftingup Flair for the pile driver on a

(51:13):
table outside the ring, and thetable was a pile drive them on the
table. You know. You knowwhy I didn't break because it was a
non gimmick table. It was alegit table like the ones that you saw
all through the attitude are they wouldthey would precut those, yeah, so
make sure they would break that.You could tell that nobody did jack shit
to prepare that table. And Ihave to say that that pile driver looked

(51:37):
pretty legit on the table. Andnow Funk got a folding chair bashing it
into a Funk or bashing it intoFlair's head, Flaire would be out for
that. See that's the other thing. Nowadays you could do twelve pile drivers
on the floor to someone six powerbombs in the stands and then laid them
on fire and they'd be back inthe next segment. Yes, when Terry

(52:02):
Funk admittedly kicked a shit out ofBrick Flair there, Flair was out for
like eight weeks. Now that waswhat happened to the days when he used
to sell an injury in wrestling.Now, that was he wasn't actually hurt,
right, No, it wasn't urbanHe was selling the injury. He

(52:23):
say, great American beage. ThatI did hear? Great American beach,
Great American beige? Is it?Who's that doing the announcing? There?
Hold on until one main main remainsin the range at the Great American Beige.

(52:45):
I do not know who that manis doing the announcing, but he
is uh. He does not havea great command of the English language.
And now another soldier, this guywith hay all over his head, I
do not describe it. He lookslike more of a stalker than barrier.
Now, I wonder if they wentthrough Camp Slaughter. Well, I mean,

(53:07):
I think of a guy like thatwith fucking hay on his head,
looking like a goon, tried toeven enter Camp Slaughter. I think he
would be on the receiving end ofa camouflage colored sexual assault right at the
rear. You know what that youknow what goes on at Camp Slaughter?
Tell me you love me? Ithink I just saw Greg Gania amongst those

(53:27):
truths. I hate you. Yeah. So here Terry Gordy is back and
he's wearing the Karate Kid's headband.It's got to be one hundred and ten
degrees in that place. Look athim running the rose Man Terry Gordy at
this point looked like a guy whocould kill anyone coming out of that Freebird

(53:52):
music. He's got the leather veston. Does that? Does that not
look like a guy who you know? When he lout about his own death,
he probably was like, well,I hope I go down, not
up, because I need to havesome fun forever for eternity. Now he
got Jim Ross's buddy. Here's doctorDeath, Doctor Death in the ring and

(54:14):
also rock and a canary yellow singlet. Kind of an odd look for Doctor
Death. But this is gonna bea hard hitting match. Now. These
guys would come back only two yearslater as the Miracle Violence Connection and dominate
the tag team ranks for quite awhile, even beating the Steiners. Between
the Miracle Violence that they were calledthe Miracle Violence Connection in Japan. That

(54:35):
was the name of their team.Got you but right now, oh man,
So we saw a football tackle tothe knee from Doctor Gordy, and
now Gordy just took Doc out ofhis boots with a clothesline. Talk about
a yeah, this is what JimRoss would call slobber knocker if there ever
was one, Ricky, these aresome two brutes to Gordy just rammed Doc

(55:00):
into the corner, ran with him, followed him in, and then clothes
line the shit out of him.But you know what, these guys are
beating the crap out of each other, and they both like it. They
both liked working stiff and like reallylaying him in to get the match over.
Who was the wrestler with the infamousbig clothes line, the older guy,

(55:24):
Stan Hanson. Hanson, that's itbecause one of these guys, well,
you know what, the reason Ithink you just thought of Stan Hanson
was because he also was a hugeAmerican star engine and yeah, that's probably,
and he wrestled with that same hardhitting, beat your ass style in
the ring. Some reason to hearu WF, I think of the Herb

(55:50):
Abrahams. But was UWF just aanother territory of NWA. UWF was Cowboy
Bill Watts's Okay, it was,well, uw is what midsouth they can,
So you had mid South the Wattspromotion. And when he tried to
go Nash and change the name toUniversal Wrestling Federation and that only vasted like
a year or two, right,a little bit longer than they had about

(56:13):
They had about five years of goodsuccess and about two years of great success,
and then the bottom fell out ofthe oil market in the Midwest killed
their business, and then they losta major TV deal on TBS and that
was the end. That's when theysold the Crockett. But then Herb Abrams
came in the early nineties and startedanother UF which was not nearly as good.

(56:36):
Yeah, however, guess who theirinaugural champion was Doctor Deaf for the
new UW. Yes, now I'mstarting to understand why people have their shirts
off, because it's got to beover one hundred degrees in that place.
Too bad. None of the ladiesare getting a little too hot and taking
their shirts off, although from thelooks of some of the ladies in this

(56:58):
arena, I'm not sure if youdidn't want to see it. Even Bob
Goddle's saying it's one hundred and twenty. I'm telling you what, Ricky,
I'm digging this match. Even thoughit's very slow paced, every shot is

(57:19):
huge, and these guys look likethey came to fight. They came to
beat the fuck out of each other, and the tougher, the tougher man's
gonna win. And they're moving ata very slow pace. It's not like
they're doing much, but everything they'redoing matters. Now, if you were
a fan watching this for the firsttime, Riggy, who would you call

(57:40):
for this one? Who? Who'syour winner? I'm gonna go with Doctor
Death all right, Well, justso we can have a little bit of
a wager here, I'm gonna betyou a dollar that Terry Gordy takes the
win. Let's do it and Iwill take your payment live on the air

(58:04):
of this podcast. Now, Ithink I think this will be the main
event Ricky of this particular episode.Uh, he just lifted Doc up for
a slam. Doc flipped over andslammed Gordy. But didn't Doctor Death have
about the best boots in the world, those skull and bones and sharp teeth

(58:29):
or flames on the bottom. AndDoctor Death was just doing some football drills
there in the mid ring, gettinghimself fired up like he's about to go
sack a quarterback. Good football playerat Oklahoma though, Yeah, Oklahoma,
That's where Jim Ross knew him fromand they became friends once Williams got into

(58:51):
wrestling and Ross looked at him likea little brother. But anyway, Ricky,
now we got a brawl outside thering. I don't like the looks
at this I was. I washoping we're going to get a cheapass double
count out of here. I wouldlike to see a winner. I'm really
digging this match, but I wouldlike to see a winner. And Gordy's
missed two clotheslines. They're still movingdock with a high cross body that's not

(59:14):
going to get it done. Didn'thook the leg anyway. What I keep
trying to say is this is mostlikely the main event for this week's episode,
Ricky, and then when we willbe back with the second half of
the show next week on two rowsfrom Ringside. But so far, what
do you think overall for the firsthour of the show, what are your
general thoughts? Good show, entertaining, pretty style and you get a little

(59:35):
bit of everything. We've had somegood matches. We've had some matches that
we laughed at that. Oh mygod, So Gordy just raked the ship
out of Doctor Death's eyes back someinto the corner with a course light advertisement
on the on the post Universal thosebefore and after the match. Yes,

(01:00:01):
I'm sure Doctor Death just hit astiff forearm, not Gordy out of the
ring. Gordy's walking it off hereas though he's going to go back to
the dressing room. I don't knowwhat that's all about. But Doctor Death's
not having any of that, Ricky. He's going to fetch him, and
I think we are going to getthat bullshit double count out after all.

(01:00:22):
I don't like this, No onedoes. I hate double count house.
It's like it's not a TV showlike you're regular. So Gordy just walked
off. Yeah, you can't dothat. I don't like that all right,
Now, that was a bullshit finishedRicky, doctor Death running back to

(01:00:45):
the ring. Now, so whatI didn't like about that was it wasn't
even a brawl outside Terry. Gordyliterally just walked off, and then Doctor
Death sort of half ass chased himand already just continued to walk away.
And now Doctor Death is in thering like a dunce. Say any won,
but he didn't. That was bullshit. It was bullshit. I agree

(01:01:10):
with that Fort Bragg crowd. Sonow you got a I think the military
band is going to play us outhere, Ricky, for this week of
action. We hope you guys haveenjoyed the first leg of our retro rocket

(01:01:32):
trip across the wild terrain of theClash of Champions. So we will be
back with a slightly longer edition nextweek for the rest of this show as
we as we um as we experiencedthe rest of this fantastic Clash of the
Champions seven card, although not ofit, not all of it has been
fantastic. But until we come backwith the part two next week, Ricky,

(01:01:58):
uh, do you have anything elseto say the audience this week?
I'm looking forward to the second halfof the show. I'm just upset that
neither one of us is going towin that dollar bet now because they just
walked out on it and two rows. I'm sorry that your main event for
this week's addition ended in such abullshit way, but I think we're going
to come back strong next week andmake the conclusion of this little retrorocket adventure

(01:02:22):
worth the journey. Until then,I will say happy trails to you till
we meet again. And remember,fans, if you're not down with the

(01:02:47):
safe side and you're too wild forthe wild side, you're a rightful place
is right here with us. TwoRows from ring Side, Two Rows from
Ringside has been brought to you byWhitehorse Media Group and this has been wrestling Wednesdays