The Superb Match

This week...Two Rows turns the page! We retreat back into the glossy interior of the WWF magazine from years gone by and see what it was like to peruse the pages and pandemonium within the premier periodical of Titan land. We then enter the Mad Mad World of Wrestling Mad Libs. What do Gangrel's strange son and Mae Young's curdled milk have in common? This segment, that's what! We then round out our evening with the first of our Fantastic Favorites series as we go back to 1995 and watch Greg's favorite match of all time and commandeer the commentary rights of Bret Hart and Davey Boy Smith topping their classic in chaotic fashion at In Your House: Seasons Beatings.
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Episode Transcript

(00:14):
Top of the day fans, orperhaps for you it's medium cool at midnight,
or whatever this does find you,we hope it finds you well.
I am the Man of Bullshit,Greg Sterner along with Ricky count Machetta Seretta.
This week two Rows turns the page. We retreat back into the glossy
interior of the WWF magazine from yearsgone by, and see what it was
like to peruse the pages and pandemoniumwithin the premier periodical of titan Land.

(00:40):
Then we'll let down our hair andlet go of our sanity as we enter
the mad mad world of wrestling.Mad libs, What does Gangrell's streamed sun
and May Young's curdled nolk have incommon this segment, That's what enjoy the
immature and juvenile jubilants and just try, just try not to giggle. Round
out already name with the first ofour fantastic favorite series, as Ricky and

(01:03):
I go back to nineteen ninety fiveand watch my favorite match of all time
and commandeer the commentary writes of BretHart and Davey boy Smith topping me classic
in chaotic fashion and in your houseseasons beatings. When this is over,
you may all see why this matchsits at the top of my fandom mountain.

(01:23):
So buckle up in your Ruler coasterholster because you're barreling down the tracks
to your big seat at the BigShow. Two Rows from Ringside Welcome fans
to Two Rows from Ringside, andwe are happy this week to bring you
a brand new segment called two RowsTurning the Page, coined by mister Siretta

(01:49):
himself. And Ricky has done mea favor today, Ricky, I think
we should give them a little background. So I texted you earlier today and
said, I think my exact wordswere I am fried and burnt out and
I have no ideas for the showtonight. And you said, I'm drinking

(02:09):
heavily and leave it to me.That is correct. And we wanted to
mix it up a little bit,go off, maybe a little different what
our format usually is. And mymother in law, of all people,
a few months ago, she foundthese magazines which were her sons, my

(02:30):
brother in laws. They were WWFthe magazine. I have two of them.
I have the February nineteen ninety editionand I also have the July nineteen
eighty nine editions. So thirty yearsI mean thirty years old on these magazines,
and they're in pretty decent shape forbeing thirty years old, I would

(02:53):
say so. And it's like atrip down memory lane to page through even
a couple pages of these things.So I my hot little hands, I
have the July of nineteen eighty ninemagazine, Ricky has got the February of
nineteen ninety and let's just work.What we're gonna do is we're gonna peruse
these puppies and just comment, uhand discuss as as needed. So well,

(03:16):
I can be going to start withyour your mine, I'm gonna start
with mine again. I'm gonna putby the way, mine's got the Hulkster
on the front, pointing to thewinged eagle belt, what's yours have on
the mine has? Well, Hulkis the main feature on the cover of
mine as well, but there's aflashing his breasts as though it's Marty Grass.
There is also four um little squares. We have one with Ravishing,

(03:38):
Rick Rude with his hands behind hishead like he's receiving a blowjob, The
Ultimate Warrior, Randy Savage, andDusty Rhodes, which one of these is
not like the other what a physiqueon the American Dream. Oh, an
amazing physique. Anyway, you knowupon initial um uh, look here through

(03:58):
this magazine, you know you cantell these were really well put together.
Oh yeah, well, I meanthis was an in house publication. Vince
flirted for years with having one ofthe existing magazine companies do his publication,
and then he just figured, youknow what, I'm going to do it
all in house. It's going tobe WWF all the way and the quality
is clear. So I just turnedthe cover page here and I'm looking inside

(04:21):
the cover page, and I guessI mean, holy nostalgia overload, because
in twenty twenty one you just don'tsee things like this. But there is
a whole page dedicated to Colosseum homevideo Royal Rumble nineteen ninety is now available.
So you see this star, yousee Hulkogan, Ted d Bazzi,

(04:45):
Jake the Snake, Macho Man.And then there's a little section it says
order years today to cut it outand for all of my for all of
our older fans, that there wasonce a time where you did not go
into a website and click with yourthumbs. You had to write out your
name, your address, your city, your signature, and your credit card

(05:05):
number and snip it out with theParis scissors and then send it with how
much money, Ricky? And thenlet me see here. Okay, now
this is crazy, this is nuts. Diggity dog. What does that say?
The cost of the VHS for RoyalRumble nineteen ninety was fifty nine ninety
five. So you go back tonineteen ninety, I would say that's what

(05:28):
probably like one hundred dollars. Now, for all of those those of you
who would dare complain about the priceat the WWE network, I will remind
you you could go on and watchRoyal Rumble nineteen ninety ten times tonight for
a fraction of your nine ninety ninefor the month. When back in nineteen
ninety us sorry fuckers, had todrop sixty bucks on one video of cassette,
Ricky. Unbelievable. And these Kelseumhome videos they were they were selling

(05:53):
like hotcakes. Oh yeah, AndI think Tony Schivanni had something to do
with didn't he. I think hewas somehow involved with I think he done.
Yeah, he was involved with CooliseumVideo. He did voiceovers and did
some production of like vignettes that theywould play among the video cassette. But
Ricky page through a little bit.There's what's the first major article you see
here? Well, the first majorarticle is let me see Around the Ring

(06:16):
by Edward Sudi. Oh see,I want to get to the fan forum
because that's where my name was actuallypublished years ago when I was complaining,
Yeah, here's fan forum. Sothis is where you could write into the
WWF magazine and actually get your nameprinted in there. And I wrote about
They said, fans, what doyou think the most abused rules are?
And I said, I think themost abused rule in the whole company is

(06:41):
Rostaur's polling tights. Even even whengood guys are executing supplexes, they do
it, and bad guys like Earthquakeand Ted Dbs he do it. And
I got printed in there and Icouldn't believe. I hung it on my
wall the WWF magazine with a bighighlight over my name, and Greg stir
Or writing, Pennsylvania, I don'tthink you gave yourself enough credit. Now

(07:02):
you've been published. You just toldme you've been published in WWF the magazine
and our interview with the late GreatKamala was also published on Dave Meltzer.
So I mean you're really getting around. It's right. And you know what,
the actual book I got published thatwe've done commercials for on this show
pales in comparison to being mentioned inthe fan forum of WWF magazine. That

(07:25):
was my proudest achievement. Uh.Then you got body language. That's Jesse
Ventura's column. I bet Jesse didn'teven write that column. I'm guessing,
well, let me say, oh, by Jesse the body Well, yeah,
you're right, probably, so I'mthinking somebody wrote it and put it.
Well, let's see, I'll doit in Jesse talk. Now,
I've got to tell you something that'sreal important. I've heard through the grape

(07:46):
vine that some local cable companies thatare Viewers Choice affiliates. It's already not
Jesse. I can already tell that'snot Jesse. Now. The next page
here is a full page of Haxall. Jim Duggan, holding his two by
four tongue out of his mouth,says ho up top. And it's an
advertisement for WWF the magazine subscription.And this is where you're kind of like,

(08:09):
pretty much if anybody is reading this, you already have it, yes,
in case you pulled this off thenews stand. Now. On the
front of this magazine, my motherin law paid two dollars and thirty seven
cents for this back in February nineteenninety. There's a little sticker of would
you not a sticker price tag pricetag for two dollars and thirty seven cents.

(08:31):
WWF is now offering subscribe today tosave up to forty two percent one
year twelve issues at twenty dollars ortwo years twenty four issues at thirty five
dollars. Same thing. Print yourname, print your address, print your
city, and of course your creditcard number. My god, the dark
age is ricky. So let's say, okay, the personality profile this,

(08:56):
oh well, this was big newsback then. Sapphire is now Dusty Rhodes
as manage. You remember the Sapphiredays, Yeah, I remember WrestleMania six.
So for those of you who don'tknow who Sapphire is, her name
was I think Janita Right or JanitaWhite, something like that, Wanita something.
But she was this very short,very stout black woman who was I

(09:16):
think at this point was in herlate fifties rookie, and she became she
was a She was a fan atringside who just would like shuck and jive
and do all the dancing with thebaby faces. And somebody like spotted her
and thought she would be great withDusty Rhodes, so they actually brought her
on the road. And it turnsout that as as much as Sapphire and

(09:39):
Dusty got the crowd going, sensationalSherry did not take kindly to Sapphire's personal
hygiene habits. And apparently Sapphire wouldwrestle and do all the stuff and then
maybe not head to the showers rightaway from the sound of it, by
sensational Sherry got so tired of herher personal hygiene issues that at one of

(10:03):
the house shows, she actually forciblythrew Sapphire into the shower. And this
happened in real life. That doesn'tsurprise me, because I also heard that
the late Great Vader did not alsoa bit of a stinky weasel. In
addition to the poor the poor bodyhygiene, he never washed his gear and

(10:24):
apparently would keep his gear in agym bag baking in the sun for days
on end. After four hundred andthirty pounds just swept through until it was
covered in stench scorpions. So whatelse have we got here? Who's the
personality profile this month? Honky TonkMan, the Honkster, honky Tonk Man,

(10:45):
the honky Tonk Man. I'm cool, I'm cocky, I'm the greatest
Intercontinental champion of all time. Well, you know Wayne Ferris from Memphis,
Tennessee. What a big star heactually ended up being. He was big
in Memphis. He was part ofthe I want to say, a version

(11:05):
of the Hollywood Blonds, but itmight not have been that exact name,
but he used to be. Heused to tag team with Moondogs Spot when
he was known as Larry Latham andhonkytok Man was Wayne Ferris and had a
big, old blonde mane of hair. Big beard diametrically opposed that this Elvis
look he adopted in the WWF.But did you know this, Ricky.
When Honkytonk first came into the company, he was a baby face and the

(11:28):
fans shit on his baby face actsso bad that he soon was switched heal
and became the hottest heal in thecompany. Well that would make sense,
I guess if they hated you thatmuch when you were good the amount of
Yeah, the amount of money thisguy did as Intercontinental Champion on the house
show circuit. That's why he heldit as long as he did, because
he did such big business on thehouse shows that they had no choice but

(11:50):
to keep him on it, keepit on him pretty long term because he
was drawing so much money with guyschasing him and him escaping by the skin
of his teeth. Interesting stuff there. So, what kind of articles we
got this week? Anything good?Because I'm just going kind of going through
here. We don't. Well,there was I'll mention this quick as you're
turning through the pages. He justwent through a Battle of the Titans segment,
which was the Genius and Hulk HoganSaturday Night main event. The Genius

(12:13):
actually won this match by count outbecause Kurt Handing Mister Perfect interfered and then
after the match destroyed the WWF championship. As you can see there, Ricky,
what a sight. Oh boy,what else do we got we have?
Let's just face it, you areitching. You don't want to,
you don't care about any of thesearticles. You want to get me to

(12:35):
the catalog so we can start lookingat the t shirts and the memory and
the merchandise available. Yes, Ibelieve this is the main event of this
article of this magazine. I'm sorry. Let me see here about quarter of
the way through the magazine, yousee a I just I can't get over
just how well done everything looks.I mean, no corner cut. Everything
just looks SOWF production value, whichthat was always their strong Here, I

(13:00):
want you to do this really quick. Before we look at the merchandise,
I would like you to look atthese trivia questions. Okay. On the
bottom are the answers. I wantyou to ask me three random questions and
see if I can get three outof three. Let's see. Okay,
if my if my wrestling obsession fromwhen I was a youth actually holds up,
can I answer these questions? Ibelieve in myself. What WWF television

(13:22):
program is now co hosted by HillbillyJim. Let's see nineteen ninety ninety one.
Uh see, because Hillbilly Jim didat one time co host Primetime Wrestling
as one of the four hosts.But I think they might be talking about

(13:43):
all American wrestling. You are correct, Oh, I was a little scared
on that one. Okay, solet me get a real brain real brainbuster
here, but intended. Yeah,I don't know if this question would be
fair. Yeah, that would beum let me see here. Okay,

(14:03):
So for tag teaming, hold onbecause a lot of these questions relate to
like the issue before, So thatwould that wouldn't be fair. That would
be a little stuff. I haven'tread these in thirty years, but I
know you're gonna find one that isfair that that that will test my my
fandom knowledge. Okay, here's one. What Texas town does the widow maker

(14:28):
call home? Oh? Uh,Sweetwater? You are correct? Come at
me, and I think if youhit the trifect to hear it's safe to
say that you may be a wrestlinghistorian. Or maybe I just have a
severe mental problem. Or maybe asI have what Sam Mitchell, our guest

(14:56):
last week called wrestling obsessiveness, maybeyou do have. I do, in
fact have that. Let me seehere. And while I'm really going to
be impressed if you know this,all right, let's hear it. The
subject is eats. Okay, onwhat canned seafood do the bushwhackers love to
munch? That's an easy one.Sardines. I didn't even know the bushwhackers

(15:22):
like to eat sardines, so um, well, what better thing to eat
before you start licking your tag teampartner, Greg. You blew it up,
You blew it out of the water. I'm proud of myself. What
are you gonna buy me out ofthe catalog? Now? Because I did
so well, well, we cango to now this. I gotta say,
like I said that the front pageof this catalog here looks really really
good. Now you flip through andholy nostalgia overload. We have we have

(15:48):
pillows, we have twells, wehave huge well each sky has like their
own page. Yeah, big guyshave their own Tell me that warrior nylon
jacket. I can't imagine what that'sright now, that's probably worth a lot
of money. We have a HullCogan page. We have a page dedicated
Ultimate Warrior. So we have TeddyBears. There's a Hulk Cogan Teddy Bear
with. Now that Teddy Bear isbuilt is quite weak, Ricky. It's

(16:11):
just a regular belt that Teddy Beardoesn't even have a championship. Yeah,
he has like a belt to holdup his breeches. Now, before we
started recording, I found this reallyinteresting because I wouldn't say I'm a gamer,
but I played a lot of videogames in my life, and there
was let me find that. Hereyou find WrestleMania any s game for the

(16:33):
original Nintendo. So this was bad. Yeah, eighty nine or nineteen ninety
for that matter. You you currentfans who are video game buffs, would
not find the graphics on these earlyWWF video games very impressive. They were
quite rudimentary, my dear Siretta.But again, if we're ever complaining about
the price of video games, keepin mind at this Ans video game,

(16:59):
which I owned and play the shipout of them seven hundred and thirty dollars
retail for forty four ninety five.That is pretty back in nineteen ninety and
now PlayStation five and Xbox games aresixty five dollars, So I would thirty
years have gone by. It wasquite a steel back then. And well

(17:19):
look at look at these Look atthese toy belts. Now those are that's
weak sauce compared to the belts youcan get now. I would say the
belts you can get now. Imean, this doesn't look like the world
title or the Intercontinental title. Thislooks like a cheap toy I had both
of them, By the way,I paid good money for these. The
Intercontinental was on a brown strap,which it never was on anyway. And
the belts today look like actual,real replicas of the actual championships. These

(17:45):
belts, we're not ready for primetime. And how much did one of
these set you back back then?These five? All? Right, well,
at least the prow we're brought backto nineteen ninety, because that would
be like fifty dollars. At leastthey're worth. Okay, No, this
was my favorite section back in theday, Ricky, when it was the
wrestlers all in a line wearing theirown T shirt. And you could tell
if you look at the wrestlers,some of them seem to be almost ashamed

(18:07):
of their own shirt because the shirtis so lame. Like, look at
this, poor fucker, the redrooster. Someone wants you to pay thirteen
dollars a thirteen dollars for these Tshirts. That's not bad, But this
one the red rooster poultry in motion, Ricky, oh boy, and he
likes a shame, doesn't he.I can't get over. There's a little

(18:30):
symbol of a telephone and it justsays charge it exclamation point, meaning you
can call them with your credit cardnumber, which is a really big deal.
I guess in nineteen ninety two,order your T shirt via the telephone.
This was a nineteen version of clickhere. Yes, right, you
are completely correct. So real quick, who do you think has the best

(18:51):
shirt? We got? We gotHull Cooke and Roddy Piper, The Rockers,
Red Rooster, Jake, the Roberts, Brutus Beefcake, Ultimate Worry of
Bret Hart. Brett looks pretty coolthere in his tank top. He's got
the tank top version, Bushwhackers,Jimmy Smoko, Tito Santana, Dusty Rhodes.
Uh, without thinking too much,just look at your eyes, go
back to childhood. Tell me whichis the best of the Shorrior. Yeah,
I'm gonna say because I had thisshirt, Red Hearts is very cool.

(19:15):
But no one and nothing will everbeat the original hot Rod. Oh
yeah, that's that's that is classic. Now we're now we're looking at post
posters. Now. I know thisbecause I sometimes peruse eBay for wrestling collectibles.
Um, I don't really collect anywrestling stuff, but I just kind
of I like looking at wrestling collectiblesjust to see their value. Yeah,

(19:38):
yeah, this poster. That's whyyou wanted to interview Yes Jack from the
wrestling Universe so bad. He hada lot of interesting things to say.
This poster is worth some money,that warrior poster. Yes, And as
a matter of fact, it's theUltimate Warrior in red tights and Indian fringe
with a background of Warrior Warrior Warriorbehind him against the yellow yellow letters with

(20:02):
a black backdrop. He's shaking theropes and Ricky's saying that this poster,
which at the time at the timeas a mister Rizzo might say, these
would set you back five dollars.So for what costs five dollars in nineteen
ninety, Ricky is going to findout the real price today. I remember

(20:23):
seeing it on eBay and I wasprobably like months ago, so I'm sure,
but I'm just it wasn't listed nowon eBay. But let me just
see while he's looking. We dohave a couple of other notables here.
We've got two Hogan posters, onehelped Rules, the other one with the
the here we go. I'm sorryto cut you off, let's hear it.
So Greg is my witness. Hereis that poster? Are you fucking

(20:48):
kidding me two and twenty five dollars. Jesus, I have you know that
pisses me off, Ricky, becauseI've got a lot of collectible figures.
I've got one with Hulk Hogan andDennis Rodman in in the pack together from
the nineteen ninety seven Uh oh,what event was it? Beach Beach?
I think it was Bash at theBeach? Uh where they were a tag

(21:08):
team. That thing is still onlyworth thirty bucks? How can that poster
be worth two hundred and twenty fivedollars? It makes you feel any better?
Here? Yeah? I had aDusty Rhodes mint on card WWF Hasbro
figure from the early nineties and Ibought that years ago. I remember I
spent three hund because I did usedto collect wrestling figures. I spent three

(21:33):
hundred dollars and now I believe that'sworth upwards of fifteen hundred to two thousand
dollars. How was that making mefeel better? My ship is not worth
anything, and yours is, Ithink, but I sold it yours quadrupled
in value? What do you whatdo you say, Quinn? Tupled in
value? Yeah? I don't know. Uh well, Ricky, I think
you should sell it right away,and we should invest it in advertising.

(21:55):
I did sell it years ago,and I only, oh, that's okay,
I'm sorry. I thought you still. I thought you made a smo
say I'm gonna buy this three hundreddollar card and someday it's gonna be worth
fifteen hundred. I thought, okay, you ever right to be sad too.
So now we're getting to the endof the catalog. Here, what
else have we gotten this issue,Ricky? Anything? Oh? A Survivor

(22:17):
series? Rundown? Which Survivor series? Was this the nineteen ninety right or
eighty nine? I guess it wouldbe like eighty nine Survivor series. It
just said in the top left here. How cool was this though, because
here we have the review of theSurvivor series the results. But for so
many people, this was the onlyway that they could actually see the result.
I was a kid. My parentswould only let me buy WrestleMania.

(22:38):
I wasn't allowed to buy the othershows usually because you know, cost money
and they were spensive back then,So you're right. I would get my
WWF magazine and find out. Becausethere was no internet you could go on,
you couldn't find out the results anywherethere's no Twitter, you might be
able to get like a pro wrestingillustrator or something that would show you a
little bit quicker. But U andlook at the photos, like just look

(22:59):
at this photo like red roosters sunsetflipping Honky top Man, Like, what
a fantastic photo that is? Um, perfect drop kick photo from with Tito
Santana dropkicking Martel high cross body withDusty Rhodes under the Big Boss Man.
These are some great really photo elput together? What else? What else
stands out here? Look? Okay, great photo of Macho Man. It's

(23:21):
a point of view shot of MachoMan coming off with the flying elbow on
Brett Hart. I'm really impressed withthe photo work here. Um. Of
course, this was a review ofthe four Buy fours versus The King's Court
Hacks All dug In Team versus MachoMan Team the eighty nine Survivor series.
If I'm remembering correctly, Ricky wasmain invented by Hulk Hogan, Jake the

(23:41):
Snake and Demolition versus Million Dollar ManZeus and the Powers of Pain. Is
that match in here? If yourpage a little bit, let's see up
yep, there it is. There'sthere's Hogan, Jake and demolition, and
that's an awesome picture about it.That is a great picture of Jake clotheslining.
There's a barbarian doing a backbracker.Look at that monster. You got

(24:03):
the double clothesline. I remember theygot Zeus out of that, grabbing Zeus
by the head of Zeus rest inpiece. By the way, he just
recently passed away, A tiny lister, not a bad actor at all,
and I thought he was. You'veseen No Holds Bard the whole Cogan movie
pieces, all right, I willtell you when I but I have seen
Suburban Commando. I was frold todayUndertaker's one line. Are you kidding me?

(24:33):
This is the nineties. We're gonnasue you. I remember that.
But as a kid, I cantell you that Zeus, played by tiny
lister no holds Barb was the scariestman I had ever seen up until that
point. Uh And then okay,well, so what else have we got
to look at? Look at acenterfold. There's one picture I saw with

(24:55):
the Rockers doing a double drop kick. I think it's on the next page,
which is just a fantastic Get thatpicture that the Rockers double drop kicking
on Anderson. I'm really I forgothow good the photo work here was.
Well, Ricky, I guess we'rerunning a little bit down on So we
had a Royal Rumble preview here,and this was telling you what the nineteen

(25:18):
ninety Rumble was going to look like. And that's the one that you and
I just watched, yeah, twoweeks ago, right yeah, And it
just wow at these magazines and makesyou want to go back, like,
imagine having did you like your researchthrough this and write pay attention to it.
And there, of course is sensationalQueen Sherry in the centerfold position here.
Unfortunately she's not wearing anything too striking. There's Hulk Hogan women women beating

(25:44):
look at it. Look at himtrying to rip the hair right out of
her head. Yeah. I don'tthink that'd be posted in today's magazine.
No, No, you'd have tohave some explaining to do. There's mister
Perfect out on the golf course swimming, showing all the perfect things that he
does. A couple of news articles. Haul Hoga meets Gene Hackman in a
really awkward picture, and I thinkthey were a little bit out of material

(26:07):
for that last article. The lastarticle is the Rockers go to McDonald's.
Is that like Harold and Kamar before? It was cool? All right,
Ricky, last thing here in thisissue. This is a WWF crossword.
Now I'm gonna test you, andI think i'm gonna I'm gonna be a
little easy on you because I knowyou're not. I know you're not a
fanatic level uh you know trivia,not like I am. But I want

(26:33):
to see if you can remember oncewas once one with the department. Okay,
So Jimmy Snooka's nickname is twenty threeacross. That's an easy one,
super right, super fly um numberten across. The Brawler hails from this

(26:56):
New York City community. Oh,horrible brawler, right, the Harlem Brawler.
Yeah, all right, this one'sa little bit harder, but I
think you might get wrong. Concama broller. Think about think about your
your your old all those announcements youheard as a child. Randy Savage for

(27:18):
number three down hails from this Floridacity. Oh I know you know it.
Oh it is four syllables, beginswith an SS. Can he get
it? Will he get it?It's in his brain somewhere. I don't

(27:40):
know, he does know. It'sSarah sodas Sarah Soda. All right,
one more here for you, uh, bad news. Brown's favorite finisher,
the Ghetto. Oh that's it.This was a little bit before your time,
Ricky's in ninety three, ninety four, child, This would have been
a few years earlier. So ifyou're if you're, if you're giving up,

(28:04):
I will I will supply the answer. It was the Ghetto Blaster,
Ricky, which was like a nonassisted in siguri. Yes, and a
large dose of political incorrectness as well. Now, the last page on these
magazines is always the caught in theAct photo, and in this one you
see what is probably the most amazingphoto in the whole magazine. It's a

(28:29):
brawl between rowdy Piper and ravishing RickRude, where Piper is backdropping Rick Rude.
You see Piper with his kilt stillon, so clearly Rude jumped him
before the bell. He's basically touchingRavishing Rick's foot, and Ravishing Rick Rude
is all the way up in theair, upside down, the victim of
a back body drop. What aphoto. Ricky fought in the act.

(28:52):
So next week when we when wedo this segment again, we will be
looking at the nineteen nine, I'msorry, the nineteen eighty nine. So
we're gonna go back a year andlook at the July nineteen eighty nine issue
and all the hilarity housed within.Ricky, do you have anything else to
say about this wonderful trick through theWWF magazine of nineteen ninety anything to say

(29:18):
at all? I do. Ijust skimmed through it one more time.
And they had one of these scams, a sound investment exclamation point any eight
CDs or twelve cassettes for one cent, remember those. Yes, I was
a part of BMG Music, whichwas essentially the same kind of thing,
and you would you would, yeah, one cent and then you pay,

(29:38):
you know, you get you gethosed along the line there, and then
you sign up for something that neverends, and it's very hard to you
know, sign out of. AndI remember I would either get a CD
that was broken or the wrong CD. Were you ever unfortunate it was?

(29:59):
It wasn't very it was only wordone. But I'm sorry to hear that.
Well this either way, you're forgivenfor coming up with this great segment
idea tonight and we will be backin the next segment. I hope you
fans enjoyed that, even if youcan't see it visually. I hope you
here enjoyed us talking about it andand just the nostalgia that it brought up
here. But Ricky, I thinkwe're coming back here with a little trip

(30:23):
to the mad mad world of wrestlingmad libs. It's the mad mad world
of wrestling mad libs, and herewe are once again, Ricky, you
and I are both hoping for ahilarious addition here. We've had a couple

(30:48):
of mad libs that were so funnythat we couldn't even like are We were
laughing so hard we stopped making sound. And then some that were monumental and
others a big swing and miss.They were just detrimatics, and we're not
too proud to admit it. No, there were some that we had to
just cut out of the episode completely, because I know there was one that

(31:08):
you, me and Jeff did together. I think it was the first of
two which was just so bad wewere so ashamed of. There were forcing
the laughs, we were forcing thehilarity. It just didn't work, and
you could tell it didn't work,So you know what we did. We
cut it because our listeners are notgoing to have to put up with subpar
quality from this show. But wedon't play it on cutting any mid mad

(31:29):
libs this time. No, Ihave a good feeling about this. I've
gone to a random page here,so these are not even puzzles that we've
considered before. So I'm gonna giveyou the pick, Ricky, pick one
of three, and you tell mewhich one sounds the best. Is it
snow white, storm and snow whiteore? Is it Harry Potter and the

(31:55):
Chamber of Secrets? Or is iteasy popping instructions? So snow white,
snow white? You want snow white? Okay, just because I took a
little spill off the wagon and hada little bit of the studio fuel.

(32:15):
All right, Ricky, this isone that's not too long. We don't
need a whole lot, so let'sgo for it here. And I want
you look, here's the rule.If it's anything to do with a noun.
I want you to think immature.I want you to be childish.
I want toilet humor. I wantwrestlers hanging out at gas stations. I

(32:37):
want you to do your worst,meaning your best? Are you ready?
Yes? All right? So Ineed an adjective and describe actually no,
and from you, I need anoccupation, an occupation. We're gonna go
with um gas station attendant like agas pumper, right, all right,
gas, I'm just gonna call ita gas pumper. Gas pumper, all

(32:59):
right. Back in Jersey, theygot a lot of gas pumpers. I'm
gonna have an adjective New York.I'm gonna say, and I'm gonna say.
This adjective is going to be I'ma child long dit okay? All

(33:21):
right? Like I said, I'ma forty year old man. But we
have to reserve. We have torevert back to teenagers for these segments to
work. So Ricky, give mea noun, a noun. It's a
person, place thing, or adespondent, poor broke wrestler doing something.
I'm going to go with Jim Dugginsdried up Jim, it might be too

(33:46):
long. I don't know why this. It won't be Jim Duggins dried up
value deodorant stick. All right,I love it, okay, So Jim
Duggins value price ride up valued valueprice deodorant stick. All right, that

(34:14):
was brilliant. All right, adjectivefor me, I'm going to say,
I am going to say, um, let's see, I'm going to say
cat shit covered, cat shit cover, ye see, because I'm looking at

(34:35):
your beautiful cats roaming around here aswe as we record, and I want
to represent the cats here in thish in this little endeavor. So I'm
going to say cat shit covered forour adjective. Ricky, give me a
color. Is there such a thingas a funny color color? Um?
A funny I get funny sound incolor like Perrywinkle. Yeah, there's only

(35:00):
one funny sounding color, and it'speriwinkle. All right, give me a
number. Number. We're gonna gothirteen thirteen, Ricky's favorite number. All
right. Um, another noun.I'm gonna say. I'm gonna just get
crazy just to think whatever comes through, just something completely ludicrous. I'm gonna

(35:23):
say, bam, bam, Bigelow'sfat mound hidden cock. You don't usually
get to work in fat mound intothese things. No, So Ricky,

(35:47):
give me a fantasy creature laurel fantasyum leviathans. Of course, anytime Ricky
is is defining some one who's maybeon the north side of pleasantly plump.
He usually chooses Leviathan as his ashis descriptor. I would just thought,

(36:08):
like, how funny would it beif like you went to the doctor for
anyone to the doctor for that matter, and you stepped on the scale and
instead of like your doctor like saying, hey, you know, sir or
ma'am, I think it's time maybeyou consider, you know, losing some
weight and you know you're instead ofsaying like you're more bidly obese, you
know, they would say you're actuallynow considered a Leviathan. And the odds

(36:35):
of you marrying anyone who is noteither a Sasquatch or a lockness monster or
very low. Okay, I'm notgoing to write you a script for the
Prozac because the only way you're goingto be happy is if you find another
Leviathan. All right. So mineis a verb ending in a S.
So a verb is an action word. I'm gonna go with fucky fox.

(37:00):
Isn't that what Kamala like to doin the hotel room? Ricky, Yes,
a little bit of the fucky fucky. So our verbs fucking fuckx uh,
give me a give me a nouna noun. Okay, so another
person I'm counting on you, anotherperson, place or thing. I'm trying
to think of wrestler who I haven'tpicked on yet. Um, let's go

(37:24):
with a wrestler you haven't picked Yeah, that I haven't. You know,
I'm not gonna I've really been ribbingGreg Valentine Hards. We're gonna what about
Mabel or Mo? That's almost toopredictable, too predictable. Okay, I
know you're you got the right oneright on the tip of your tongue.
Let's go. You give me asecond here, you know who you want.

(37:52):
In the meantime, while you're thinkingof your noun, I'm gonna put
there's a food I need to choosehere. So I'm gonna say, uh,
I am going to say the curdledmilk of May Young's breasts. The
curdle the milk of May Young's breast. Oh boy, that's rather disgusting,

(38:15):
but we're gonna put it in here. So the curdled milk of May Young's
breast. And for those of youwho are not familiar with May Young,
she was a eighty year old womanthat was married to a black man and
gave birth to their child, whichwas a hand. Leave it to the
attitude era they were on some seriouslygood acid, I would say, So

(38:37):
I am, okay, I havemy nown A person placer, gang grels,
gangrels, A strange sons, strangeson. All right? Uh now,

(39:01):
Ricky, I have to choose atype of material, So I'm gonna
say mantar's pelt. All right?You remember an old mantard? How could
I forget? All right, Ricky? A type of container? Type of

(39:22):
container? Tupperware? All right,tupperware. And the last one is a
noun. If you can think ofa great one. Let me know.
We are back to a person,a place, or a thing. Right,
person plays or things. Let's gowith I know you're thinking hotels,

(39:45):
You're thinking Gary, Gary Coppett issticky napkin. I don't even want to
know why it was sticky or how, but we're gonna go with it.
Okay, So Gary Cappetta's sticky napkins? All right? So this is snow

(40:06):
white ad lib. Are you ready, sir to go mad? It only
took us nine and a half minutesto get a week. I think this
is either going to be a realbig one or a big letdown. Let's
see, it's gotta be one orthe other, all right. From the
Long Dicked Fairytale, a jealous gaspumper attempts to get rid of her cat

(40:28):
shit covered Jim Duggan's dried up valuepriced yodord stick snow Perrywinkle. She takes
refuge with thirteen leon in their forest, also known as Bam Bam Bigelow's fat
mounted cock. The gas pumper changesinto a witch and fucky fox snow Perrywinkle

(40:58):
with a poisoned curdled milk's breast.So uh yes, The gas pumper changes
into a witch and fucking snow Periwinklewith a poisoned the poisoned curdled milk of
Maygong's breast, which puts her intoan everlasting Gangrel's Strange son, until the

(41:21):
Prince finds her in Mantar's pelt tupand awakens her with the love I'm sorry,
awakens her with loves first. GaryCappetto's sticky napkin that made absolutely no
say. I'm still laughing at thewords we decided to use, but unfortunately

(41:45):
it did not make any sense.But you know, it was a good
middle of the road one definitely worthmaking air it was middle of the road,
I will I will agree, Um, yeah, I gotta say it
wasn't. It wasn't due to lackof effort on our part. No,
we really thought we were gonna knocked. I would be curious to see if
we would have plug those words inanother mad lib. I think it could

(42:05):
have been a lot stronger, Ricky, Should we let that be good for
the week, or do you wantto try one more? You know,
and there's a part of me atonce to do another one, But then
I think we really use some greatwords. So you're willing to accept this
as our effort this week and begood with a B plus, I think
that you know, even even bemonest I wouldn't kill us from time to

(42:29):
time. They can't all be winners, all right, the worlds of Billy
Bob Thornton. You fans take alesson from that, and just know when
we do reach the point of peakhilarity that it really takes some some honest
effort and good luck and good fortuneuntil next time. You never know what
you're gonna find in the mad madworld of wrestling. Mad libs, especially
if you need, the one objectthat can wake up your true love and

(42:52):
bring you to happily ever after isthe sticky napkins of Gary Cappetta. All
Right, until next time, weare leaving the mad Mad World of Wrestling
mad Libs, and we will beback just a jiffy. All right,

(43:16):
fans, this is the main Eventssegment. But I've got a certain someone
here in anxious anticipation because he doesnot know what is coming. But this
was an off the cuff episode.We're trying out two new segments. We
had the two Rose turning the Page, which was quite enjoyable to peruse the
nineteen ninety WWF magazine, and thenwe did the old tried and true mad

(43:39):
Mad World of Wrestling mad Libs.Now in the main Events segment this week,
I am gonna call this one thefantastic Favorite segment. And if you'll
remember, Ricky, last week weinterviewed mister Sam Mitchell of Autism, Rocks
and Rolls, and we all talkedabout our favorite matches of all time.

(44:00):
Of course, Sam, so Ithought in in this segment, which I've
dubbed the Fantastic Favorite segment, wecould over the next three weeks review each
one of those three favorite matches anddo a watch along with our our favorite
match. So if you'll remember correctly, Sam's was the Undertaker and Mankind Buried

(44:23):
Alive. Yours was Ricky Steamboat andRick Flair from the Shytown Round. You
know, let me let me rephrasethat whole trilogy. I would say,
not just the trilogy is so good. But if you, if you had
to gun to your head, picka favorite the first that one came out
as your favorite. For me,it's it's clear cut. There's so many

(44:43):
fantastic matches over the years, butthe one that always I've watched this match
more than any other match ever.I probably watched this match twenty times.
I saw it live was from inyour House five called Season Season's Beatings.
It was for the WWF Championship champion, Brett the Man Heart versus the British
Bulldog Davey boy Smith for the title, and they did the impossible Ricky,

(45:06):
as we talked about long long agoin our feud focus between these two,
they took that legendary match from WembleyStadium and they which nobody ever thought could
be topped, and they, inmy opinion, topped it by bringing it
to Hershey, Pennsylvania, by bringingit The only place you could possibly top
a legendary match like that is tobring it to Hershey Town, which I

(45:30):
was there live to attend this payper view event, and I can tell
you honestly, this was my favoritematch of all time. And I'm not
just saying that because I'm a bigBret Hart Mark Davy Boy never looked better.
Vince and the King together were neverbetter. Bret Hart was never better
than in this match. So Iwant you all to know. So this

(45:52):
would be nineteen ninety five Ricky forin your House, and it was the
December version. I think you justpassed. Actually yep, there it is
in your house five December seventeen,nineteen ninety five. So fans, if
you want to do this watch alongwith us of this match. You can
wait for us to get a timeque going here. We're gonna go to

(46:14):
the main event this event. Justin case you're not familiar with it.
Ricky included such legendary matches as theUndertaker versus Mabel in a casket match.
We had the hog Pen match withHenry Godwin versus Triple H who fought in
a stable full of hogs. Andhere you go. There is Bret Haart

(46:37):
responding to Bulldog and Cornette, andthen the main event for the WWF title.
So, Ricky, do you wantto crank at the back to that
Bret Heart response to Bulldog and Cornette. That's the promo right before they go
out. Let's do it all right? So where is this in the timeline
here? Just so we give thefunds a little twenty three seconds? All
right? So one hour, twentythree minutes, one minute and twenty three

(47:00):
your main events a little well nownowadays they're they're liable to put the main
event on first. It's so wacky. But yeah, one hour, twenty
three minutes, fifty three seconds.And Ricky, do you want to give
us some audio on this, justso the fans can hear a little bit
of background noise. Let's do itall right. So you got Bret Hart

(47:20):
doing a backstage promo here with yourfavorite announcer I think from the nineties,
mister Todd at Old Todd Pettingale.You know, I I heard that he
was making more than a lot ofthe wrestlers because Vince mcman liked him so
much. As a New York DJthat he hired him and was paying him
more than some of the wrestlers offJason should that cause him of a star
in the locker room so you haveyou can hear the Bulldogs music playing in

(47:44):
the background here as Bret Hart's backin the locker room area of Hershey Park
Arena. Bulldog has beaten Bret Hartat every turn. According to the WWF
story here, Bret Hart had neverbeen able to beat the Bulldog before.
So now he's the champion, He'sgot to defend the title against a man

(48:04):
that he has never beat. Rickeyand describe what you're seeing here for the
fans. While we're seeing a greatstage set with the whole in your House
theme done up for Christmas. Now, isn't that Davy Boy's sister. That
is Davy Boy's wife. Who isBret Wester? Okay, because there was
a show where it wasn't his illsister it was it was the one European

(48:30):
I was starting to confuse the shows. Okay, So that's his wife.
That's Davy Boy's wife at the time, Diana Hart smoke show by the way
she is and in the first matchbetween these two at Wembley Stadiums. She
was in the neutral corner. Shedidn't want either man to get hurt.
Three years later, with the titleon the line, the world title,
she was solidly on the side ofher husband and against her brother. There

(48:53):
you see that hog the hog game. And by the way, how yoked
out of his mind is Davy boySmith in this match? He was probably
at his his his yoked best.He was a full on omelet. Yeah,
well done. And of course youyou didn't mention who came out also
with David boy was his manager atthe time, mister James E. Cornett.

(49:15):
I didn't even see James Z.Cornett come out with him. Maybe
I was just paying attention to hislovely wife, but I did not even
notice James E. Cornett coming outwith him. What do you like best
about Diana? Her big blue eyes, Ricky pretty much everything I would say.
So here comes Brett Hard out tothe ring with the title around his

(49:37):
waist. And how do you likethe old nineties light show? That's awesome.
This was before it was like thewhole led and yeah, the whole
arena was lit up like Christmas trees. Yet this was a good, cool
light and Pyro mix for the entrances. But it wasn't just exactly, it
was just sometimes less is more.But it still looked really cool, like

(50:00):
it was. Even watching this,what twenty five years later, it's still
yeah, it looks. It stilllooks looks legit. So and of course
Brett wearing the classic winged eagle belt. Rick, that's my favorite of all
the WWF championship belts. Yes,so it was definitely the best one for
the every championship. Jerry Lawler yellingthat Bret Hart's kissing it goodbye, and

(50:22):
Vince trying to calm him downs like, oh, he always cops back.
Little did Brett know that only ayear and a half later, Vince McMahon
would royally figuratively fuck him right up. The pink and black attack, the
poop, the pink and black poop. Shoot. I can't pay attention to
this, mattress. I'm just lookingfor you in the audience. I would

(50:43):
have been on the let's see fromwhere they stand right now, I would
have been back into the left likelooking at them back and I think I
see you. I'm in the day. It's not in. There was a
shot of our section just a secondago. And if you look at Jim
Cornett's tennis racket cover, it's abearded Santa Claus tennis racket cover. You

(51:05):
gotta love that. So the thingabout this match as it gets started here
and Ricky, I don't know ifyou've ever even seen this match before,
but I have very good As amatter of fact, I watched this match
a few weeks ago. I believeyou did. Okay, right, okay,
okay, I remember us talking aboutthat now. And what's great about
it is they they topped the Wembleymatch by not trying to do the same

(51:30):
match, only better. They dida completely different match. Yeah. Whereas
the Wembley match was more of ascientific classic between two baby faces with Heart
going a little tiny bit heelish butreally not not not much and he didn't
really do any cheating in the match. This match is a crazy random back
and forth brawl. There's almost norest holds, there's almost no rest periods,

(51:54):
and the flow of the match there'sthere's like there's many many different ebbs
and flows throughout the match. Likeright now, so Bulldog has got an
arm lock in here. He justpulled the heart down by the hair.
Now, he's got an armlock.But watch, they're only in this They're
only in this situation for a verybrief period, and then they're moving on
to a different sequence. This matchhas the most unique ebbs and flows of

(52:17):
any match I've ever seen, whichis why I love it so much.
It just has so many different gears. And yeah, but you can it
has so many different gears. Butit's also not a total spot show.
Oh no, no, not inany way. It's it's not a spot
fest at all. But in otherwords, the story that gets told keeps
changing. And I think when youhave two equally matched wrestlers like this and

(52:39):
you tell a story like that,you know you can really have something special.
So again, less than thirty secondsago, there's that Tennis Racord cover
I talked about. Less than thirtyseconds ago, you had the Bulldog armlocking
Heart Heart did two moves to getout of it. Now has the Bulldog

(53:00):
in a hammer lock. Bulldog flippedout of that with a beautiful move that
only really nobody else did that,like Davey Boy. And now Brett Hart
is back and control the armbar.So again, there's really no solid advantage
ever in this match. It's backand forth. It's one situation after another.

(53:20):
Well, I like to tempo sofar because it's quick, but it's
not too quick like today's product.Yeah, it's exactly exactly. You hadn't
and you had a slide through theropes, inverted atomic drop. Brett kicks
him in the bread basket. Itgives you time to absorb what's going on.
Yes, every this match is perfectlypaced. Maybe that's what I've been
trying to say this whole time.It's perfectly It's perfectly paced, and the

(53:43):
storyline of the match is just twoguys not just trying to outwrestle each other,
but trying to outdo each other.So this match has brawling like crazy
brawling. This match has brutal movesand has scientific moves. It really just
has everything in the pace just isunlike any other match you'll ever see.

(54:04):
Brett Hart just got a knee ofthe guts there by the Bulldog flipped over
somersault cell. Diana now with anaggressive look at ringside that's so different than
the looks she had in her facein Wimbley Stadium. Bulldog with two big
handfuls of hair lives some heart slamsinto the mat, Dave Hepner admonishing him
or I guess that would be Earlwas around at this point, David,
Because it's crazy how many ages,like amazing blockbuster matches has Hebner reff you

(54:30):
know any It seems like every bigone he was there, he was he
probably more than any other refer everybig match he was there, and even
the ones that you would like,oh yeah, for like this match you
would say, oh yeah, Ikind of forgot how good this matches,
and of course he's reffing, andthere he is. What she saw there
was actually a planned spot. DavyBoy had Bret Hart hung up in the

(54:52):
Tree of Woe in the corner,and it looked like he inadvertently clipped Hepner
and then he helped him up immediately, which made it look like an accident.
But then as soon as Heppner's backwas turned for just a minute a
minute like a second, Bulldog hitthe low blow. So it was a
planned spot, but it was doneso perfectly it looked like an accident.
Again, just the uniqueness of thismatch, and Bret Hart was really known

(55:15):
for doing little touches like that,which made him such an artist. That's
the best way to describe Brett's style. He's a true artist. He would
punctuate things, he would he wouldhe would put certain flavors and twists into
things in the match to really giveyou something different and new. But all
that would everything fit into the contextof the story. So now we're back

(55:36):
to a rest hold here, butI guarantee it won't last too long.
You have to chin lock by thebulldog. Look at that arm, Ricky
the size of my thigh, andI couldn't help but notice a child with
an ECW shirt standing up there inthe middle. And that was like right
at the time that ECW started rearingits head and yes becoming a thing.

(55:59):
In fact, the year after this, I went to a raw show at
Hershey Park Arena and the ECW wrestlersactually invaded in the crowd that when came
on and got signs on the onthe on the screen. This was before
any actual ECW cooperation on camera.So Brett went for the uh, went

(56:20):
for the crucifix, and Bulldog droppedhim on his back and then hit a
very high Bulldock had a very uniquehigh crooked leg drop. Nobody did it
quite like him, and he wasvery high. What did I think the
bulldog never came down very often fromthe high places. He was chemically brought
to. Uh, he's back tothe chin lock here, but again Brett's

(56:42):
out of it within five seconds.So really that chin lock is only used
as a transition here, Ricky.They don't do any boring sitting around log
you know, lollygaging about for tenminutes in a wrest hold. He literally
held it for eight or nine seconds. And Cornet, the rat bastard,
took that ho ho ho tennis racket. Face fuck. He took the funt

(57:10):
of that tennis racket and clipped BrettHart right in the throat with it.
Yeah, and now he just braggedto Jerry Lawler Santa's come down his chimney
a little fucker. At one point. At one point I just remember,
randomly in this match, Davy boytakes like a really bad move on the

(57:30):
floor and he's really hurt, andJim Cornette just comes around the corner goes
y. So now again he's bulldogsback to the chin lock. They do
the they do the raising of thearms three times spot, but it gets
don't see anymore either. You're fifteenseconds in and Brett's already working out of

(57:52):
it. So again they're using thehammer lock and the chin lock here as
only transitions, not as rest hole. There are really no rest spots in
this match. Bret's driving the shouldersinto the midsection there in the corner.
And watch this, He's gonna takethat classic d heart chest bump right in
the her. He took it unlikeanyone in the whole business. I don't

(58:15):
know how he did not break hisstern and multiple times over his career.
Oh my god, I think forme this was This was Bret Hart and
the Bulldog in their absolute prime oftheir careers. I don't think either one
was ever better than they were onthis night. That backdrop looked like it
could have knocked his spine out ofalignment. Did you see how he landed

(58:37):
there, Ricky right on his tailboatsBret Hart was put up in the air
and landed right on his tailbone afterthe backbody drop. Now Bulldog back to
the arm, back to the chinlock. But but watch, as I've
said every time before, now thatnow this gives us a chance to take
a breath. They've got a splitscreen now with Diana and they're showing her
concerned looks she's tentatively voting, rootingfor Davy Boy here, and they've been

(59:01):
in the hold for about ten oreleven seconds and Brett again working right out
of it. So I'm just tryingto point out the difference between boring wrest
holes and transitions. For all thosefans of new wrestling. With no transitions,
you can use the classic moves likethis as transitions without making the match
boring at all. But they don'tuse any transitions now. No transitions are

(59:23):
almost like a thing of the past, and as the audience, at least
for me, you sometimes need thesetransitions to kind of get your wits about
you and see what's going on again. Yeah, how about letting the last
six or seven things that you sawactually sink in and the process a little
bit so you're into the story.It would be like, you know what,

(59:43):
you know what today's wrestling is,Ricky. I think I have a
good analogy. As Davy Boys shoulderblocks Brett down, Brett leap frogs,
oh big, I don't even knowwhat you call that move. But he
dropped to his back, his bootswent into the bulldogs gun and he flipped
them right over like circus move invertedatomic drop, and just a fist knocks

(01:00:04):
him right to his right, rightto his back. Brett hits a headbut
right in the in the lower abdomen. Anyway, what I was trying to
say was, you know the differencebetween this and I have to comment Brett's
bulldog the bulldog. The difference betweentoday's wrestling and this. Today's wrestling is

(01:00:25):
like speed reading, where you canget through like a one hundred and fifty
page book in five minutes or whatevera talented speed reader could do. That's
the difference between that and somebody goingpage by page and letting what is happening
in the book sink in enough classictextbook pile driver there by Brett Hart letting
it sink in and actually absorb asyou read page by page, pausing for

(01:00:50):
a minute and thinking about what justhappened on the last page. Whereas today's
wrestling, if you're speed reading it, yes, you're seeing a lot of
amazing things go by really quick.But what are you actually find that boring?
I bet you, like a lotof younger fans, find this boring.
However, I find the newer productssometimes boring because there's no uh,
there's no character to it. It'sjust it's kind of like all the same,

(01:01:12):
and yeah, it's it's like it'sa it's a it's a stunt show,
and it's and it's and it's likecrap, it's it's crash style wrestling.
But the problem is the reason yousay it's boring is you can't you
can't remember anything that happened. Actually, it's funny you bring that out because
I was watching Dynamite and Megan wasdownstairs and she was watching it. It
was the tag team Top Flight,and I forget who else wrestling someone else,

(01:01:36):
because you know, they can't justdo two on two tag teams and
that company, it's always three onthree on four and four. But they're
you know, they're all the acrobaticstuff. And Meghan just happened to glance
over and she was like, wow, they're doing like a lot of acrobatic
stuff, like that's pretty crazy.And then the next thing she said,
she's like, oh my god,this is so fake, you know,
you know, and you mean itjust because she could tell how choreographic,

(01:01:58):
Yeah, you planned it wasn't.I let so many moves happen in that
match that by the time you've seenfive moves and you're on to number six
and seven, you don't remember whatone, two, three, and four
were. And then I turned itoff. I'm like, this is yeah,
it's another way of tuning people outand turning people off what we just
saw. There was another another reasonwhy this match is so interesting, Ricky.

(01:02:20):
Okay, so watch the bulldog here. He needs Brett in the back,
and Brett just hit the steps andyou're gonna you're gonna see someone bleeds,
right, yeah, Brett Hard isgonna do a massive blade job.
Here. He bleeds all over theplace, and in this time, theodlading
himself. Now, yes, hebladed himself when he was down on the
ground. And as you're gonna seehere as we as as the camera pans

(01:02:44):
over, when Brett takes his nextbump, you're gonna see that he's actually
covered in not just covered in blood, but dripping blood. Watch this here,
watch the blue Matt. Now,I thought Vince did not did not
care for for blood, So that'swhat I was gonna say. So blood
was banned at this point, andlook, you can see it all over
the blue Matt there, Jim Cornetthas an evil look in his face.

(01:03:07):
Brett is gushing blood all over thefloor. So yes, here's the deal.
Blood was banned. But Brett feltthis match really needed something to stand
out. I mean, he wastasked as an artist with topping Wimbley Stadium.
He had to do something special,so he thought the match needed something
different. He thought blating was goingto be important, so he took that
bump and he actually told McMahon itwas hard way, meaning that it was

(01:03:29):
an accidental cut. Yeah, andhe bladed himself in such a way and
right at the hairline that it washard to tell. And Vince whether he
really bought it or not. Officiallyhe bought it and Bret Hart did not
get fined, but right now Vinceis furious, probably as he sees that.
In fact, when they replayed thismatch on Raw months later, they
well they made it black and whiteat that part. Yeah, if I'm

(01:03:54):
remembering correctly, maybe they didn't makeit black and white, but they had
like a content warning on there.So now Bulldog turns the tables and has
a great pile driver. This isthe only segment of the match where you
see either man have an extended advantagebecause Brett is bleeding so bad, he's
losing blood. He's weakened. NowBulldog actually takes the first sustained advantage of

(01:04:15):
the match. Another thing I wantedto point out right before that blade job
was when Brett put him up forthe superplex, Bulldog lifted Brett up and
crotched him on the top rope.You almost never saw the baby face take
that bump. It's almost like alwaysa heel bump when you get crotched on
the ropes. So again, it'sjust something a little bit different to make
you feel like I'm watching something Ihaven't seen before. Yeah, and this

(01:04:40):
match is full of that kind ofstuff. You have great insights, Sarah,
Well, thank you. I appreciateit. I've been a sick man
is welling up here. I feellike Diana might need a little comfort from
you, sir. You want togo to Calgary and look her up?
I bet, I bet. Whatevershe is now sixty years older, Bryce
still looks good. Jerry Lawler iscalling for a forfeit here because of Bret

(01:05:06):
Hart's condition, saying they should,uh, they should stop the match and
award the title to the Bulldog.And Vince McMann said, I think you're
right. So bulldog going to thetop. Now, as I said,
the first sustained advantage big headbut rightin the small of the bag, on
his right, on his butt.I say, small the back, and

(01:05:28):
that was right in the butt.That'll do it. Brett got the shoulder
up. I'll tell you what,Man's just funny like thrown in the steps,
thrown in the guard rail. ThenI'm gonna jump off the top rope
and head button your ass. I'lltell you what the David Boy smith from
from a ten feet up in theair. Uh, with a head butt

(01:05:48):
in your in your tailboa might notfeel too good. So Davy boys got
the bow and arrow submission on BretHart backflipped out of it, kicked Hevinger
by accident, and to the sharpshooter, which Davy Boy immediately rolled out of.
Now, oh yeah, hey,we knew, we knew something big
could happen there. And David Boyhe also knew that that could spell his

(01:06:11):
defeat here, so he kicked rightout of it. And now you can
see that the bulldogs tights are turninga strange shade of pink ricky due to
the due to the Heiba Globin ofthe Hitman. Look at that bulldogs tights
ares smudge so bad with Bret's bloodthey are turning pink. I remember Scott

(01:06:32):
Keith of the Blog of Doom.A little shout out to him since he
plugged us when we asked him too, so a little love to him.
He was the first one to pointthat out that when watching this match he
noticed that Bulldogs tights went from whiteto pink. So Bret Hart is bleeding,
literally like a wounded animal out there. Vince McMahon, you can even

(01:06:56):
tell him the sound of his voice. He is not happy. He says,
stop match, stop it. Butyou know, I always thought when
Vince would get pissed off about guysbreaking rules like that, that there had
to be part of him who enjoyedthe spectacle of it for drama. Oh
nice German supplex there by by BrettHart into a pinning combination, Bulldog kicked

(01:07:17):
out, so Brett's still in thisthing. But now you notice that was
one move out of the last eightor nine moves that Brett actually was on
offense. For you know what,I love mister Hebner just getting down the
mat without wearing Latex gloves. Yeah, he was in there. He was
in the blood with these boys.Now we got to wear Latex gloves.
Double clothesline Brett flipped over. DaveyBoy's head is actually covering Brett, but

(01:07:40):
his shoulders are down, so there'sno there's no three count here. Now.
Jim Cornette doing something here. Anyfan of Jim Cornette knows this is
a tactic. He hits the matdeclaratively three times, liked too too,
and you're supposed to think in hislogic he's just trying to egg his man
on. All let's go yep,it's queuing the let's go Brett Champ.

(01:08:02):
So Bret Hart just actually, that'spretty cool. So he was kind of
he was trying to get the crowdgoing yeah, while making it look like
he was cheering from this guy.Oh we missed it, so okay,
the craziest move of the match iscoming up here, Ricky. So Brett
just did a flying body press outsidethe ring. Now he's pounding on on

(01:08:26):
Davy Boy outside the ring. Brettstarting to get an advantage, but you're
about to see it here. WhenI saw this in person, I thought
Bret Hart was dead. So Brettis up to the up to the ring
apron again, he's up to thesecond right here, yep, he flings,
but Davy Boy catches him outside thering running powerslam right oh floor.
Can you imagine, even on thosethin wrestling mats, taking a power slam

(01:08:47):
from Davy Boy Smith on the floor. How badly that would have hurt?
That's what you call thinking. Yeah, that's a bump. And Ricky,
when I saw it, the waywe were positioned in the arena, the
ring apron actually blocked the view ofthe floor, so all I saw was
was Davy Boy run with him andgo with the powerslam, and then it
went underneath the apron, so Icouldn't see him actually hit, and I

(01:09:11):
was like, oh my god,he's dead. How could he take a
powerslam? Yeah, he's dead.So now Bulldog actually lifting up those mats
and he's gonna suplex Brett. Brettblocks it. What do you think is
gonna happen here? Ricky? Thereverse? Oh balls on the guardrail and
look at the look on Diana Hart'sface. That's a man that she wants
to have more kids with. AndDavy Boy just got crotched on the steel

(01:09:35):
railing that could not have And howdo you fake that bump too? I
hope maybe I just can't get myeyes off that woman going nuts by the
guardrail. She smells the blood.Oh my god, talking about totally marking
out. I love it. SoNow Bret Hart has taken the worst bump
of the match, an incredible bump, that running power slam on the floor.

(01:09:56):
But he's back on advantage now becausehe got the advantage back by frotching
the bulldog on that steel railing.And now you're going to see a fantastic
closing sequence here, Ricky. Whereyou up till the last you don't know
what's going to happen. There's nodeclarative like Bret Hart hits five great moves
and then it's finisher, and thenit's over. Yeah, there's a rough

(01:10:16):
bump and then a spectacular thing andthen a big finisher and then the wind.
It's back and forth. Watch thebow. Oh, his head literally
bounced off the map. Davy Boycould have broken his neck on that bump.
Bret Hart did a twisting uh flinginto the into the into the corner
Davy Boy hit and then bounced offright onto his head. Now, Brett's

(01:10:39):
gonna go for a top rope superplexhere, and Bret Brett could perfectly execute
the superplex from the top rope.Look at this bump boom. Both guys
perfectly land on their on their back. But even Diana was a little scared
there. She covered her eyes.So again Brett is hitting this closing flurry

(01:11:01):
and he's gonna cover again, andhe can't put the Bulldog away. It
seems at this point, if you'reBret Hart, now can the bulldog steal
one? Here? Roll up?Bret Hart reverses the roll up one two.
I thought for sure when I sawthis was the finish that would have
made sense, but he couldn't puthim away. Davy Boy keeps kicking out

(01:11:21):
and the fan is thinking, now, is Bret Hart really unable to beat
this guy? Big shot right tothe balls, Davy Boy did a flip
over bump and now European uppercuts inthe corner by Brett. He doesn't know
what to do to put the Bulldogaway. He's using some English offense against

(01:11:42):
him there. Now he's swinging himback into the corner. Bulldog reverses comes
in knockout blow right on the chin, Ricky. Bret Hart got both feet
up, knockout blow. Davy Boywent down, and now Brett has to
hit him with one move, amove that he just cannot kick out of.
Just the way that Wimbley ended withan impossible roll up, an impossible

(01:12:02):
escape. Bret Hart locks him uptight, Davy Boy can't get out,
and there it is interesting that itdid not end with the sharpshooter. It
didn't end with a sharpshooter. Itended with that one move. See Wimbley
ended with a reverse sunset flip rollup where Davy Boy had Brett perfectly pinned.
No matter how good you were,you couldn't kick out of the pen
he had him in. And there'sa nod back to that match in this

(01:12:26):
one where Brett did everything but hithim with the kitchen sink, and at
the end he used that La magisterialcradle and just narrowly got the three count.
So he Davy Boy was pinned onthree but kicked out at three and
a half. So he kicked outimmediately after that three count. Jim Cornett
discussed him with the result as theyleave in defeat, Diana consoling him.

(01:12:49):
So that right there Ricky, justbecause of how unexpected the flow was.
The absolute unorthodox style, a classichalf brawl, half technical match, back
and forth, almost no extended advantagefor either man, almost no rest holds

(01:13:12):
whatsoever, beautiful transitions, and uptill the very last move, you didn't
know how this one was going toend, and there it was. I
thoroughly enjoyed it so little trivia.Bret Hart had crossed paths with Chris Jericho
not long before this. You can, you can shut it down if you
want, now, Ricky, theyhave a last a last segment there with

(01:13:34):
Diesel and the Undertaker doing a faceoff in the locker room. But yeah,
it just up until that last move, you couldn't tell. But that
last move that he pinned the Bulldogwith was the law magisterial cradle. And
he had crossed paths with Chris Jerichoa few days before this match, and
he was looking for that great lastmove that that impossible move to get out

(01:13:56):
of that he knew could put theBulldog away, just like the roll up
that that defeated him in Wembley.And it was Chris Jericho that suggested that
law much asterial cradle, whal showedBrett how to apply it, and that's
the movie he chose to end thematch. Chris Jarco is just breaking in.
Yeah he was, he was anewbie. I don't know if I
don't know how Bret Hart came uponhim, where they crossed paths. I
can't remember that part of the story. But either way, Ricky, what

(01:14:19):
did you think for the the now? I can't remember what I called the
called the segment, but the favoritematches segment. Now we've got mine out
of the way. So next weekwe can neither do Sam's match of the
Buried Alive in Your House between Undertakerand Mankind, or we can do Chi

(01:14:40):
Town Rumble with Rick Flair and RickySteamboat. But looking back on this,
what are your final thoughts on Brettand the Bulldog Sterner's favorite match? It
was like a little bit of everything, a little bit of everything, and
there's a lot of a lot ofpsychology, but it wasn't boring, it
wasn't slow. So new wrestlers shouldwatch that match, yeah and learn something.

(01:15:01):
You know that. I'm glad yousaid that because I couldn't agree more.
If you are a wrestler breaking in, even if you have to wrestle
in the new style of today,if you can't learn a hundred things from
that match, a classic like thatfrom two artists, especially Brett Hard he
was an artist on his own level. But if you can't learn something from
that, you really shouldn't be inwrestling. So well, sperb match,

(01:15:23):
absolutely superb. Thank you for enjoyingthat with me, Ricky. And since
we are ending things now for theweek, do you have anything else to
say to the fans before we signoff? Have a great week and we
will be back next week. Anotherway of saying that might be happy trails
to you until we meet again.And remember, fans, if you're not

(01:16:03):
down with the safe side and you'retoo wild for the wild side, your
rightful place is right here with us. Two Rows from Ringside. Two Rows
from Ringside has been brought to youby Whitehorse Media Group and this has been
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