Tiptoe through the Tombstones Part 1

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:15):
Top of the day fans. Perhapsit's two am and the wind is high
your way. Wherever this finds you, we do op and find you nice
and well. You know, I'mthat old man of bullshit. Greg's turner
along with Ricky counting the Chetta Serettaand this week the Retro Rocket returns for
the first part of a two episodeepic. We will revisit nineteen ninety six

(00:38):
and in Your House Buried Alive.In this first episode two, we'll watch
Austin trip Lah, the Guns versusHart and Goldog, and an icy title
true test for champion wild Man MarkMerrow as he takes on the androgynous one
gold Dust. You will also hearPandora's box perfession as we look back in

(00:59):
time at the rest so Mania threepress conference. And we also have a
return ticket to the Beat Club.So buckle up and that roller coaster holster
because you're barreling down the tracks toyour big seat at the Big Show.
Two rows from ringside. Welcome thefans once again to two rows from Ringside,

(01:42):
and we are gliding atop the ohjust the myriad, the colorful maze.
It's like a light break down thereRicky as the retro Rocket flies high
above and we're getting ready to dockhere. Um, you know, the
purpose of this week and next weekwill be a two part adventure for the

(02:02):
two Rows from Ringside Crew, andwhat we hope to accomplish by the end
of this two part journey is thealso the culmination of our fantastic favorite series
in which we will be seeing Themain event of this very show is also
Sam Mitchell from the Autism Rocks andRolls podcast his favorite match of all times.

(02:24):
So if you'll remember the last coupleof weeks we saw the superb match
between the Bulldog and Heart at InYour House. Just last week you saw,
of course you heard us watching Ricky'sfavorite of all time Flare and Steamboat
from Chai Town Rumble. And thisweek we will see Sam Mitchell's favorite match.

(02:44):
But here to tell us a littlebit before the Retrorocket comes in for
the landing, tell us a littlebit about the massive show and the massive
main event we're about to see.Richard Well. This was the eleventh installment
of the In Your House paper Viewstook place on December the twentieth, nineteen
ninety six, at the Market SquareArena in Indianapolis. It feels like it

(03:08):
was only yesterday, Rickie and thetagline for the show dead or Alive.
And really that's an appropriate question consideringconsidering STIPs of this main event match.
There is, Um, yes,there is as a matter of fact,
a buried Alive match that we willwe will be covering here. There was

(03:30):
nine thousand and six hundred and fortynine people in attendance, which not a
not a bad house for view,but still a smaller I guess a smaller
show like that, Karc. IfI'm wrong, that would be yeah.
These would like these were like theirB shows, the B pay per view
shows, a shorter in length,cheaper in price, that would be yeah,
considered definitely a nice a good turnout. Um So, without further ado,

(03:53):
I think we're gonna get this showstarted. I believe we will.
A just one quick note to whatyou had said. You know, these
were the B show, But ifVince was starting to feel like the experiment
of a short and cheaper show wasnot yeah, yeah, like they weren't
getting the kind of numbers they werehoping for with that format. So you
saw with this Buried Alive and rightbefore this I believe it was Mine Game

(04:16):
or was it? Yeah, MineGames with Mankind and Shawn Michaels. So
they started to turn these into threehour events and priced them exactly the same
as all the other shows, andeventually you had twelve full priced, full
length pay per views a year,and that was very paid for them,
because oh yeah, and a muchbetter model. So Ricky, we're about
to land this puppy, and thehydraulic doors will soon be open. If

(04:41):
anyone wants to live this two partjourney with us, obviously, go to
the WWE network and look up inyour House, Buried Alive and a four
warning. This is an episode whereI have been drinking again, I believe.
To all of our listeners, imagineat this point they know how to
operate the WWE network. UM,I don't think we have to explain.

(05:04):
I would hope it's in your housenumber six. Go to the year nineteen
ninety six. You will see itthere. Um, we are, for
the most part all cued up hereready to go. Did you say number
six? It's yeah, but it'sum oh, I'm sorry, that must
be the bush light talking. It'sactually the in your House eleven. Shame

(05:28):
on you, mister Bush. Maybeone day when the show pops off,
I'll be drinking something a little bithigher end. Until then, I'll be
heading If this show really pops off, Ricky, you and I are going
to be drunken assholes on the show, become total prima Donna's turn on the
entire fan base, just like agood superstars want to do. I know
we're going to devastate all of ourthree viewers. For damn you. We

(05:49):
may have lost one, but withoutfurther ado, we're gonna get this started.
Here, I'm gonna give you avery informal countdown starting at five four,
three, two, one, blastoff, Buried Alive, and Ricky,
when is the last? I don'tyou know, I have not seen

(06:09):
this whole show since nineteen ninety sixwhen when I saw it on pay per
view. I might have watched itone time after that, but oh,
the time signature has brought us tothe center jumped a little bit, so
I'm sorry. I'm going right tothe beginning of the show. Back to
the beginning, Okay, fake beginning, all right, So now I'm bringing
it right back down to zero,all right, and we're going to start

(06:30):
over in five four five, four, three two one. Oh no,
that one was perfect. That wasperfect. I hope your fans kept up
with that. Now you see thatold classic mid nineties WWF opening existence,

(06:50):
And now we have a promo videoplaying Ricky with the voice of the Undertaker
bellowing again. Not to sound likea broken record, but you know,
these, uh, these vignettes andthese little promo videos were very well done

(07:11):
back in the day. The WWFslash w W has always been the master
at this kind of promotion, justbeing able to put fantastic videos together,
really telling the story, picking theexact right clip, the exact right mood.
Uh. And this Undertaker man kindof ship was some far out ship
for the time. I loved thisangle. I was a young I was
a young child during this time,but I remember this angle and it was

(07:33):
awesome. I would have been aboutsixteen years old here. Uh. And
yes, I you know, becauseUndertaker had gone through a whole what would
you say, just revolving door,a big fat, lumbering opponents. You
had Bundy, you had Giant Gonzalez, you had you had oh let me

(07:54):
think it, Yokozuna. You know, Taker, it had to fight some
Mabel too. It may be inthere. So in ninety six when he
got Mankind as a regular opponent andthey had that fantastic feud that really put
mcfoley on the map too, yougot to see an Undertaker you hadn't seen
before because he was able to doso much more in these matches. And

(08:15):
from what I understand, Undertaker wasvery excited to work with Foley because he
knew he'd be able to show thingshe wasn't able to show before. And
look to tell the fans who werewho were seeing in the commentary booth,
we got, we got a VinnieMack, we got the King, and
we got Jr. And I believe, if I remember correctly, this was
Grumpy Jr. When he was likesort of flirting with being a tool and

(08:39):
being angry with instrict Man. He'salready thrown a little shade at Vince and
now we have we'll get this hunterHurst Helmsley opening up the show, coming
out to some twinkly nonsense, getme my tea, what do they call

(09:00):
equestrian music? And that is avery cool entrance way there through the through
the haunted house spike or the graveyards, spiked metal gait. He reminds me
of the villain from ace Ventura,the second one. Remember, Paul Lavec
had not become a money drawing heelat this point in his aristocratic blue blood

(09:22):
version of the hunter Hurst or theTriple Age character. That ship looks like
I think that that she might havedone a little too much coke in the
back. She has a very upsetlook on her face, and she looks
downright confused. She has no ideawhere she is. Looks like she has
some issues of her own going on. It looks like she's having a partial

(09:43):
seizure on the way to the ring, and she has a look on her
face that says she smells something quitebad. And no one really explained who
she is, So I guess shejust loves this equestrian manh Yeah, he's
a Well she's hunter Hurst, Helmsley'sblonde blonde bimbo of the Evening, I
guess. And that's about the blondebimbo of Indianapolis. Well, at least

(10:09):
she held the ropes open for forher man Helmsley. Here he got her
some TV time. The least shecan do his hold up in the ropes.
Oh, now she's climbing in therewith him, Ricky, this chick
just doesn't even know where she's atat all. Helms, he better watch
his back because he does the curtsy. And here you got Steve Austin stone
Cold. So this was just asAustin was was ascending to the heights that

(10:39):
he would reach in the next yearthree sixteen, moment already happened at this
one, right or yeah, healready won King of the Ring. He
was feuding with Savio vega Um andhe he had already won it, but
it was very recent, so hewon King of the Ring in June.
I think this show here is October? Did we did I see that correctly?
The let's have it pulled up righthere, Yes, October the twentieth.

(11:03):
So you're you're only about you're onlyabout four months removed from King of
the Ring, and you're only aboutone month one and a half months away
from his big Survivor Series match withBret Hart, which really was the first
of two star making performances, thesecond, of course, being a match
we did on the Tower of Turnsepisode months ago, the WrestleMania thirteen Double

(11:26):
Turn match. But here he is, look at this Rickie nineteen ninety six,
you have Stone Cold Steve Austin,the up and comer rising star against
Triple H. So Austin and TripleH would headline pay per views in just
a few short years and and sellarenas out back then they were they were

(11:46):
just a notch above like intercontinental levelRicky and Stone Cold. That's really going
at it with some fans there therewas some looks like some true bickering going
on. Oh yeah, well seeAustin was one of those wrestlers that when
he came to that Curt Man,the light was on and the character was
dialed up. Isn't it amazing notto cut you off? That both these
guys opened the show. That's whatI'm saying. That's what I'm saying.

(12:09):
Yeah, I mean, only afew short years later that would have been
unthinkable. I don't trust this chickthat that Helmsley has blought with it.
She bothers me, Ricky, Yeah, I does she remind me of someone
that we know? Does she lookfamiliar? She looked like looks like someone
I relieved myself too on my cellphone. So here's Grumpy Jr. Grumpy

(12:31):
Jr. Is complaining that his headsetdoesn't work and his sound is cutting out
there. This was part of theangle of Jr. Being outspoken on television
and basically saying Vince mcmham was apiece of shit and that he had not
been treated fairly as you can maybeunderstand with good Old Jr. Even though
I thought good Old Jr. Madea good heel when he wanted to be,
people didn't want to boo good OldJr. You know, how could

(12:54):
Jimmy? He was so nice.He was a nice guy. You wanted
to like him, and when theytried to make him a heel, it
just didn't work. Now, Lawlerneedling Jim Ross trying to make fun of
him a little bit. Helmsley doesthat very uh, very um bow,

(13:16):
almost sexually tinged gesture of the ofthe well. Is it a bower?
Was that a curtsy? It lookedmore like a curty guess, yeah,
it was sort of a very fancybow. And they're austin out there,
jaw jack and with the fans again. Now they just got some sound and
engineer over there messing with Jim Ross'sheadset. Do you think that's real?

(13:39):
Like, no, no, it'snot. It's all planned. But but
Jarr's doing a good job of it. And now now Helmsley's out there arguing
with the fans. Who are thoseguys. I'm not sure who those guys
were, Ricky, or if theywere anyone of note, both Austin and
Helmsley. He spent time arguing withthem, so they must be somebody.

(14:05):
And they didn't Yeah, they didn'texplain commentary team didn't mention who they were.
It's funny because Jim Ross would neverhave a meltdown like that on air,
but he's having a melt out aboutthis headset that doesn't work. You
know, the WWF was in amajor stage of transition here, Ricky,
where they were moving from the reallythe death period of the mid nineties,

(14:28):
like their lowest point ever, andthey were only you know, a year
and a half to two years awayfrom really hitting the stratosphere again with the
Attitude era. And here you have, like you said, the irony of
two of their biggest stars wrestling inthe opening match here. I know everyone
talks about like they say it wasthe New Generation was a was a bad

(14:48):
time, but I don't know.I mean, there was a lot of
huge megastars still on their roster,and well it was back now. I
mean the shows for the most partwere pretty entertaining. Well, you had
two stars coming into their own,you had Sean Michaels and Brett Hart rising
to the top. And honestly,like, just because business wasn't good doesn't
mean the quality of the show waspoor, even though sometimes it was when

(15:09):
they got really goofy and like hadMabel headline Summer Slam and shit like that.
But you know, Ross's headset stilldoesn't work. He's all he's all
upset out there. Even Lawler startingto get a little irritated. That's interesting.
They have McMahon, Lawler, andJim Ross. That's what it was
for quite a while until Vince completelystepped away from commentary and started to work

(15:30):
backstage exclusively and become the on airheel character. And then Austin or Ross
and Waller became like the voice ofthe Attitude are. They became the Gorilla
and Bobby of the Nine of thelate nineties. I do find it,
um, you know, pretty amazingthough, because let's face it, Vince
McMahon is unbelievable worker, but he'salso great on the mic too. We

(15:52):
talked about that mcman is one ofthe great In addition to being the promoter
the world, he's one of thegreat performers of all time. His headset
on and it's really really good.Yeah, I always liked him comment commentating
wrestling being being the biggest asshole heelyou could possibly imagine the corporate boss that
everybody hates, who's like this maniacwho makes guys kiss his bare ass,

(16:14):
and like what a character. Uh, Now you see the pace is slowed
here in this Austin Helmsley match.They had a little bit of chain wrestling,
then they had a slap fest.Now they're back to lock it up
like bulls. But Ricky. Justto finish out the thought about the mid
nineties attitude, ere I think BretHart and Shawn Michaels deserve a huge and
Kevin Nash to a degree was there, but but he was really he really

(16:38):
didn't do anything to to bring thenumbers up at all, whereas Michaels did
move the needle somewhat, Heart movethe needles somewhat. But Bret Hart and
Shawn Michaels essentially got us through that. That. Yeah, that the duldrums
of mid nineties WWF business, andit wasn't the big business struggling and it's
like w everything was. Yes,everything was struggling at the time, which

(17:00):
is what you know wrestling goes intocyclical journeys in and out of success.
Because this was right around the timein WCW started acquiring a lot of talent
from WWF. Correct, right aroundthis time they started. I mean it
wasn't at its peak, but theyjust started. There was a genesis of
them. Well, this is afterWrestleMania at twelve. So at this point

(17:22):
Nash has already gone, Hall's alreadyalready gone, Hogan's gone, Son has
been gone for a couple of years, Savage is gone. In fact,
the nWo has already formed on theother channel, and then you have ECW
running at the same time. Sothe business was ready to explode out of
the nineties into another boom period.But but the mid nineties were just the
low point of a declining period thatreally started in like nineteen ninety and then

(17:47):
from nineteen ninety on, every yeargot worse until ninety six we finally started
to uptick and then by ninety seventhey were getting there. Well, it
was the beginning the Wrestling Wars,and then of course after ninety seven and
ninety eight, WWF didn't look backagain and look at failure until modern times.

(18:07):
You know, like right now thebusiness is in the toilet again for
various reasons, not the least ofwhich is a terrible product. Do you
think that, to completely get offtopic here, do you think the business
will ever return to the glory daysof our time? These? You do
think that it always thinks that theywill make some adjustments so it's not so

(18:29):
goofy and over the top production likemovie esque. I don't know if they
will, but somebody will figure outwhat works again. And I hope NWA
comes back NWA Power because I enjoyedthat show. It was I enjoyed it
too, And there's an aspect ofNWA Power that I think you could point
to as as maybe the way todo another product, an internet based product,

(18:55):
something where it's a throwback. Nwasintentionally a small studio show. There
is a close set there that thisis supposed to have an intimate feel.
As I told you, I havea big concept about maybe a different way
to do wrestling that that would keephold onto some of the best parts while
taking it in new directions that haven'treally been done. And again I'm not
going to talk about that yet indetail because it's something we may actually do

(19:18):
at some point. But I toanswer your question, the wrestling business always
comes back. There is something thatseems to be entrenched in not just American
culture, but Japanese culture, wheretwo gladiators going at it on a big
stage with big production in front ofscreaming fans seems to be just something that

(19:40):
we can't get enough of in ourentertainment. And sometimes it's hot. Sometimes
it's not. When it becomes hot, it's because something has captured the imagination
of the public. In the mideighties, it was rock and wrestling and
it was hul Coogan that captured theimagination, and it was the crazy,
badass Roddy Piper. It took themfrom the mid eighties all the way again
until the late nineties to hit anotherhuge stride And what was that based on

(20:07):
the workingman's hero and the feud withhis boss, that's what captured the imagination.
And then running concurrent to that,you had the shock waves of the
screw Job and you had the rockemerging as a superstar. All at the
same time. Yeah, I mean, how could you not have had a
boom period out of that? Butyeah, to answer your question, there
will always be another boom period,if history is any indication. But they've

(20:29):
got to figure out what right now, in this time is going to capture
the imagination of the crew of thepublic. And clearly it's not the WWF
funeral Wrestling were ww funeral wrestling we'reseeing in the world of LED, And
it's not the inconsistent hot mess thatis also perversely entertaining at times of aw

(20:51):
And I know I've talked about thisbefore, but I'm just looking out observing
the audience of nearly ten thousand people, and again I see a big variety
of people. I see young people, I see older people, I see
men, I see women, Isee all different types of people there.
And it's um very, very differentfrom today's audience, that's for sure.

(21:14):
Even here you see the remnants ofthat right here, That's what I'm saying.
Yeah, even here, you stillsee a variety of different folks there.
So now, now, now youcan hear Jim Ross, but his
his audio sucks and he's got likea mechanical robot voice. So they're building
up to something here. Uh nowRicky uh for an Austin triple inch match.

(21:37):
If you look at the crowd inthe hard camera shot, not exactly
a lot of heat happening. Now, he's kind of a it's kind of
I would say, kind of dud. I mean it's it's it's not that
great of a match. It's prettyslow. It's a little too slow paced.
Uh. They look like they mightbe building up to a little something
here as Helmsley locked in the sleeperhold, Austin slipped out. You know,

(22:00):
I also feel to one of themown I mentioned there's no heat.
I feel like there's almost no heatin any wrestling crowds anymore, even before
the whole pandemic, because now it'slike everyone is so smart to the business,
everyone is so educated on it.It's kind of like they don't let
themselves invest in the character or investin what's You can't be a total smart

(22:21):
mark and also be a true wrestlingfan. That ye spending disbelief. It's
gonab be those two. At thesame time, I feel like they're they're
going to these events to see allthe crazy spots. Yes, they're going
to see circ to slay they're notgoing to see if Steve Auston is going
to get even with Vince mcton.Yes, they're not going to see if
what crazy shit the rocks going tosay next to whose asses are gonna kick?

(22:41):
They're not going to see what whatbig balcony is mcfoley going to fall
off of? Yeah, you know, like there's none of that, there's
none of that that that just electricexcitement. And while this is not a
terrible match or anything, and theyjust had a nice little flurry there with
reversals of the sleeperhold, you canjust help. They're not over with the
crowd because the crowd it's not invested. They were getting over. They were
they were like right at the edgeof getting over, but it would still

(23:03):
be another couple of years. AndI don't know if you noticed that a
few minutes ago, but Austin actuallyexecuted a stunner on a triple age.
Before it was like the iconic finishingit is now, it didn't do too
much. Well, it's rare thishappens, Greg, But I'm going to
have to fundamentally disagree with you.Oh that's here and which you believe that
the wrestling business is going to turnaround one day. I beg, you

(23:26):
think it's dead to differ. Ithink unfortunately it's it is dead, and
it's only going to get worse.And it's not necessarily the wrestling business fault,
but the Internet to some degree hasruined it. The well now the
crowd reacting to something here just comingdown the way. Mister Perfect is coming
down. Mister Perfect in a brightblue suit, looks like it came out

(23:48):
of inst mc man's closet, walkingdown of the ring to distract Hunter Hurst
Helmsey. This would all culminate,of course, in mister Perfect turning on
Mark Marrow and joining up a tripleH briefly before after a paid dispute,
after a dispute about many things.He left the w WF not long after
this, but at this point hewas screwing up Hunters matches by going to

(24:11):
the ring and flirting with his woman. And mister Perfect must like him crazy
Ricky because he picked up this confusedCaesar having lost chick, and he's gonna
take her away. A Hunter doesn'tlike that, but Austin's like, I
don't have time for you to fightover this chick. I'm gonna kick somebody's
ass slams Triple H into the ring, Apron tosses him back in the ring,

(24:32):
and now he's getting in Perfect space. What are you doing down here
at the middle of my match,Perfects is get out of my face.
I'm gonna take this chick to theback. Oh now, Perfect didn't like
that he was talked to you likethat. He just pulled Austin off the
ring. Apron steve Austin begging offa little bit now, but that was
only to get Perfect to turn hisback. Now take flass of water splashes

(24:53):
at this face. Mister Perfect didn'tlike that. He's gonna take his jacket
off now. But in the greatentertainment, in the confusion, Austin was
clipped from behind by Triple H,who's in the ring again in his goofy
ass horse riding pants. There thosewere not That's not a good look for
Hunter. So Perfect now has leftis no. He brought the jacket with

(25:18):
him, and he bus also broughtthis crazy chick with him. Dude,
look at that chick's eyes. Youknow she has killed in her lifetime.
She is um Yeah, great thought, very nice stubbs yes, and and
Triple Asius can't handle that his womangot stolen. Now he's leaving the ring.
He had he was ready to putAustin away with the pedigree, but

(25:41):
now he's going back out there tojaw jack with perfect The referee is trying
to get in between them now,and now Austin's back there as well,
and he's gonna go collect Hunter Herstelmsleyand throw him back in the ring.
Actually, first we're gonna get asupplex on the floor. Rickey no triple
H wiggled out of it, andhe actually drops Austin on the concrete with

(26:03):
the souplex. But getting back towhat I said very quick, I'm not
going to go into all the reasonswhy I think it's good. I'm actually
interested to find out why you think. But why do you think there's not
even a chance it'll come back?Because too much has been exposed. Now
everyone knows, like you know,these these words heat bump that you know
we talk about and laugh about.We shouldn't even know what that means.
That should be completely insider jargon,you know, And it's just everything that's

(26:26):
part of the business you can't putback in the bottom. The podcasts are
great, they're very entertaining, butevery time we listen we find out more
and more and more and it's kindof like, oh, it's not really
as magical and special anymore, ifthat makes But I think if there's one
thing that WW would have to do, and they of course they're not.

(26:49):
They're making way too much money.But too many shows. I've said it
before. Too many shows, waytoo watered down, way too many options.
We need one weekly show. Idon't give a fuck out raw brand,
SmackDown an xt the brand. Youknow, it's a developmental brand.
You want to go on the internetand find it. Fine, but your
top talent is on once a weekfor two hours. Maybe I'm a boomer,

(27:12):
but to me, bring your best. Not to cut you off,
Ricky here, I want you tocontinue in a moment, but they're getting
a double feature replay or that slingshotfrom the floor that catapulted Helmsley into the
ring post and now there's that stunnerright in the middle of the ring and
this is over, folks. Austinpins triple H clean after that sling shot
into the post. So sorry aboutthat, Ricky. You were saying that

(27:34):
two hours a week from your topyour top. You put all your top
guys out there for one two houra week a show, and that would
that would be the level that youwould not over expose it too. Yes,
because I said, it's what Ithink. That's why the NFL is
so special and doing so well becausefootball, you know, it's really just
on a Sunday. Yeah, youhave a game on a on a Thursday

(27:56):
and the Monday night game, butfor the most part you look forward the
Sundays. You know what I mean, right, But I mean, w
W, it's four days a week. It's way too much. I've talked
about this before. It's just it'sit's it's too much. It's definitely way
too much. Now here's what Ithink, though, I think there's certain
things. Okay, so you're you'reabsolutely right that the you're you're you're right

(28:18):
that you can't put the genie backin the bottle as far as like insider
terms and understanding how wrestling has doneon some level. However, I do
think as as they go into apackage here with the Smoking Guns and the
Godwins, where the Guns had romancedSunny Away and broke poor Phineas's heart Ricky
on their way to winning the tagteam belts, which which resulted in the

(28:44):
Smoking Guns going heel and being managedby Sonny And I know I touched on
it before and now obviously when mythoughts as a child shouldn't compare to my
thoughts when I'm thirty two. Butwhen I was a young child, I
actually thought the Undertaker lived in theseareas and till it was time the wrestler.
But now an eight or nine yearold can jump on Twitter and say,
oh, look, my favorite wrestleris at this restaurant, my favorite

(29:07):
wrestlers doing this, my favorite wrestlerswith so and so. Well, wait
a minute, you're not now somemagical wrestler. You are just an average
person. So I think what youneed to do is you need to pick
up some of the things. Okay, the Internet's not going away, so
what you can do is you cantake the best of what still works.

(29:29):
Okay. People still like to seeguys fight over a personal issue, right,
We still like to see this,of course. People still like to
see hot chicks. People still liketo see violence, People still like to
see heavy music. People like tosee a product that seems like it's underground
or it seems like it's it's special, it's something cool to be into and
cutting edge. You could do allthat with a new version of wrestling,
which might be on the cinematic side. You could take the best of something

(29:52):
like Glucha Underground, the best ofthe ww cinematic matches, and you could
create something totally different. That wasyou might have an to fight in a
ring, let's say, but youcould also have an option to do all
sorts of other versions of conflict.But there needs to be a huge overhaul.
Yes, it would definitely be ahuge overhaul. But what I'm saying
is that you could still make aproduct like that work by bringing in different

(30:15):
people that were like hybrid wrestlers slashstuntman slash dramatic actors, let's say,
and have a product that people couldget back into. And again, that's
all I'm going to say about mycurrent conception. I'm working also, but
I do think you could. Ido think you could capture the public's imagination
again, Ricky, And as soonas you do that, it doesn't matter
who knows what inside shit. Peopleknew all inside shit in the late nineties

(30:37):
when the attitude error was hot.They need to work on the commentary to
they need a baby faces of youknow who I would say is going to
be one day be a great personon the mic. Chris Jericho. Oh,
he's already really like Chris Jericho onthe mic. Yeah, Jericho has
always been good on commentary. Hewas always quite good. So real quick,

(30:57):
just just a document what we're sayinghere on the show for the two
rose audience, so you don't getlost here. We do have the Smoking
Guns who just came into the ring. They were one of my favorites.
Now the Smoking Guns were awesome andthey are now they've lost Sonny. Sonny
dumped the Guns and here come DaveyBoys, Smith and Owen Heart, the
WWF Tag Team champions. Those tagbelts are a million times better than the

(31:18):
belts they have today. That well, actually they're the ones we took promo
pictures with Ricky that jumped around becausehe was at SummerSlam ninety two and then
the next year he was in WCWninety three. Yeah, and then back
to WWF and then didn't you goback to WCW gun He was back to
WWF by ninety four, ninety five, ninety six, ninety seven and ninety
seven. He went back to WWor WCW when the screw job happened.

(31:41):
But this was that weird period oftime where they had Clarence Mason was their
manager because he had cheated them outof he had cheated Jim Cornett out of
their contracts. I love those beltsby the way they are. Aren't they
so much better than the current ones? Yeah? I mean that those sewers
who look legitimate, They're big,they're unique looking. You know, back
women actually cared about bells, right, So Jim Ross is really getting pissed

(32:06):
off here in accusing Vince of givesa little wink to the camera saying,
yeah, you see this guy,McMahon. Look how young Billy Gunn looks
here. I know this was.I know this was twenty four years ago.
And I mean that guy for whateverhe is now now he's in his
mid fifties. I guess, doesn'the look freaking amazing on a And he's

(32:30):
not bad like, he's not asgood as he was, but he's I
think he's actually in better shape.He's he's bigger, he's much more muscular.
Billy Gunn got into a lot ofpowerlifting during his breaks from wrestling.
That's just funny because he's certainly notlike Jacket here no um, and I
think, well he was definitely.I think this is like Billy Gunn off

(32:53):
steroids. Yeah, he's in shape, but he kind of looks like a
cyclist right when you see him,like just a few years removed from this.
When he was in the New AgeOutlaws, he was you know,
he probably had forty pounds of additionalmuscle on him by that point. Yeah.
Owen and the Bulldog were such afantastic tag team. I wish they

(33:14):
had been together longer. They hada nice run here in in ninety six,
but they had they had they hada chance to be one of the
great teams of all time had theyhad a longer history together. Can you
believe it, Ricky? We're howlong you know? You and me have
been recording this now for let's checkthe old time tignature. We've been recording

(33:38):
this for thirty minutes this show,and they're still arguing about Jr's microphone on
commentary JR. They can't get Atone point, does he not walk out?
Owen used the back of the neckof Billy gun to boost him up

(34:00):
on a back flip, but BillyGunn waited and waited for both feet of
Owen to hit the mat and thenjust clotheslined him out of his boots.
Now Billy guns up to the top, comes off with what was supposed to
be a back a double axe handle. Owen got him in the gut.
Now a double clothesline from Owen DaveyBoy Irish whip. Billy Gunn gets taken

(34:20):
over in the drop to hold herecomes that crooked leg drop of a bulldog.
Isn't it so refreshing to actually watchlike real tag team wrestling. Yes,
it's fantastic, you know, followingthe rules and with some structure.
And are you saying that we haven'tseen six dives yet? And that's a
good thing. Six dives outside ofthe living is a good thing. That
we had everyone in the ring atthe same time and hearing ex Caliber.

(34:46):
Oh my god, you know nothingagainst ex Caliber personally, because I don't
know, I don't know the guypersonally, but he is a god awful
answer. He does sound like afan boy, sounds like a fan boy
who's he's saying things with excitement.He's saying he's saying things in what's supposed
to be an animated way, butnone of it comes across as genuine off

(35:10):
does he come across as ever trulyexcited like Jim Ross does. And let's
face it, Jim Ross is halfto sleep during those shows because he's I
think he's disgusted with what he's watching. Well, I think sometimes he is
discussed. And I've said it before, I think Ross is holding back until
he sees something that's worthy of thatexcitement because he didn't want to use his
credibility. Look, he's collecting apaycheck. I can't blame him, but

(35:30):
you know, deep down, I'vesaid it before, he's probably like,
what in the actual fuck is goingMark? I think he probably he must
think that sometimes with his off therails as they are on certain things.
But I also think Jim Ross takeshis job as a consultant very seriously like
he. I think that story theywere telling on a w ware arn Anderson
and Jim Ross basically lit Cody Rhodes'sass up about having that competitive match with

(35:52):
Peter avalon the Librarian. Yeah,I think that legitimately happened, and they
both lit up Cody's ass about Ihope. So I mean you look at
it. They have all the moneyin the world, and they have so
much, they have access to somuch wisdom. But if I was Tony
Kahn, I would say, JimRoss, Arn Anderson, Jake Roberts,

(36:13):
all of you guys, Taz,what Kennedy input here? We need what
can we do to bring this back? But I feel in a way,
and maybe he's a little too confidentOwen with a drop kick off the ropes.
This was the period of time whereBart Gunn did a little bit,
but Billy Gunn was guilty as sinfor overselling bumps, worse than Sean Michaels,

(36:37):
worse than Kurt Hending. It waslike he was trying too hard at
this point to be like Billy was. Yeah, Billy was trying way too
hard to be like Kurt Handing lightor Shawn Michael's light. Bart did it
a little bit. Bart's in therenow. He did a little bit,
but Billy went over the top.You might even see more of it in
this match. There's one there's onebump that he takes. I don't know
if it's this match or not,but where Billy does such a crazy oversell.

(36:59):
It's comical. But again I can'tremember if it's this or not.
Anyway, Ricky, Look, TonyKhan has probably gotten used to getting what
he wants in life. And I'msure he does love wrestling, but you
know, he's got the billion dollars, he's got the money to afford whatever
toys he wants for his toy box, and he's going to write it himself.
The fact that he is doing allthat himself without the very strong input

(37:24):
and actually maybe having a head bookerunderneath him so he can be like main
creative control, main main directional guy, but have a head booker underneath.
You utilize those assets you have,you know what I mean saying you utilize
somebody in the headbooker position that thatdoes have that kind of experience. That's
why, like I listen to theyou know, the arm Show, and

(37:44):
I know, you know arn Is. Of course he's not going to bash
his employer, but you know hetalks about like a ew in this and
I'm like, come on, man, like I love you, Arn,
I know you're doing the right thing, the politically correct thing, but you
can't really say that this stuff isyou know, looks good sometimes sometimes and
I think for Arn he sees potentialin people like like like Will Hobbs.

(38:07):
Everybody's talking really high on Will Hobbsright now, but honestly, Will Hobbs
sometimes looks like dog shit now.But I think guys like Arn can see
a guy like that and say thatguy would be money. In the right
circumstance, that guy would be money. I just want everything to slow down.
That's that's really everything needs to slowdown. That's the biggest problem they've

(38:28):
got is they they just do toomuch. They pack too much shit into
too small a bag, and whatyou get is a mess that explodes.
I feel like I'm watching the samething. I feel like every style is
the same. Absolutely, So hehad some miscommunication there with the guns,
but they managed to overcome that.They've got the advantage back on Owen Hart
Here. Owen just got clothesline onthe middle rope, and now Bart's back

(38:52):
and control. But yeah, Iagree with pretty much everything you're saying,
Ricky. They've got a lot ofwork to do, and I don't know,
you know, maybe the one advantage, the one thing you have absolutely
right, as the guns do adouble side Russian light suite for the two
count, maybe the thing you haveone hundred percent right. Is the fact
that this version of wrestling that wehave now won't come back in the way

(39:15):
that it was before. Maybe toomuch of the cats are out of the
bag, too much of the geniehas missed it out of the bottle,
and maybe you just can't get thisversion of wrestling back to what it was.
But I do think the concept canstill work and capture the public's imagination
if you make it interesting enough.It's very simple. All you need to

(39:37):
do is put something out that thatpeople can come see as spectators that is
interesting enough that they can't imagine notseeing it. Therefore they pay money and
make sure they're there to see it. It's the simplest way of explaining how
you book wrestling. I will neverbe able to do what these guys do
in the ring, so I'm nothere saying, oh, I could do
that. I watch a lot ofthese guys and they're really gifted athletic,

(40:00):
and they're doing things that I'm like, oh my god, that's nuts,
right, But I feel like theythere's just the basic fundamentals they lack,
and if they just would try tounderstand them more and try to learn them
more, it would make such aworld like they have the ability to be
great. Well, clearly someone incharge is telling them not to do that,

(40:22):
or else they'd be doing it.So if the Bucks are e vps
of aw and this is like anedict that your young guys are supposed to
wrestle like this, then the youngBucks are responsible for hurting the business terribly
with this style. And I've saidit was Kenny Omega. I'm not an
expert on in ring work. I'ma I'm a freaking fan, but in
my opinion, if you rely onlike spin kicks and spin kicks, that

(40:45):
is just kind of exposing um kindof a weakness as far as overall,
it's a bad choreograph. Video gamewrestling is what it turns into like to
me again, that's I've said it. It's just it's cheap and you haven't
seen that yet in this match orany matches you know. No. In
fact, the Guns are setting upa couple of tandemos. Here comes their
their main finisher. Bart's got owenin the backbreaker position. Gun's gonna come

(41:09):
off of their Bulldog is grabbing theback of Bart's tights and feel them.
And that was a lay mass finish. Uh, bulldog had his hands literally
in bart Guns pants. Bart Gunacted like he couldn't feel him. Then
when Billy came off with the legdrop. Now, look, there was
a spin kick, but it matteredwell, you know what I mean.

(41:30):
And it was a spin kick donewell by Ohr. But anyway, the
Bulldog pulled him off right at thelast second. Uh, Billy missed the
leg drop and then oh And hithim with the aforementioned spin kick that Ricky
mentioned. And the champions have retainedit here, beating the Guns relatively clean.
There. That was a goofy finish, wasn't it. That was a
pretty good match until that's silly finish. Yeah, it was a decent match.

(41:52):
And now the Guns are not happywith each other, and Sonny is
happy the jezebel that she is becausethey have failed now without her, and
Bart doesn't like Billy's attitude. Allright, Yeah, so here's the Bulldog
pulling Owen and Bart away as hehad his hand literally halfway down Bart's guys,
you can't go anything better than that. I guess maybe Bart doesn't feel

(42:13):
it back there unless you tick ahim or something. I'm holding onto your
tights and you're not feeling this.Thank you fans for enjoying the first part
of the first part. We willbe back after the next segment with the
second part of the first part,if you know what I mean. Oh,

(42:43):
welcome back fans too. Another fantasticedition of Pandora's Box of Promos.
I am, of course Greg Sterner, the Man of Bullshit, along with
Ricky count de Dacheta sirretta, Ricky, how are you doing? Are you
ready to go back to nineteen eightywith me? I am extremely excited to
go back to nineteen eighty seven becauseI see mean gene Ogren standing at a

(43:07):
podium with a chunkyard dog with pictureperfect posture, looking like he's in a
different world, staring off into space. So I am thrilled to see what's
coming here. So this press conferencewas just about a week and a half
to two weeks before WrestleMania three.WrestleMania three was by far the biggest event

(43:28):
the WWF the World Wrestling Federation nowWWE had ever put on before. It's
still considered a high water mark forthe promotion. If not, it's still
the biggest moment in the history ofthe company. It's when they they really
broke through and became this stadium fillingspectacle, which you know, wrestling had

(43:49):
not been for a few decades,and never with this kind of television and
pay per view type of presence.Certainly, there's been big moments in televison
for wrestling, big moments in attendancefor wrestling, but Vince McMahon pretty much
put it all together. So whatThe reason I chose this for this week's
Pandora's Box is because this press conferencefeatures a few different things, but the

(44:13):
main thing is Hulk Hogan uh andAndre the Giant pretty much face to face
for the first time since since anyof this had happened. And stay what
you want about Hulk Hogan, buthe comes across as a man who's pissed
off. But he's pissed off becausehe's hurt. He's hurt because he feels
betrayed by Andre the Giant, whowas his best friend. UH So good

(44:35):
acting on Hawk's part here, Ithink, like story, something there's still
people can connect to, imagine,actually connect to and relate to exactly imagine
if they did more of that,they might sell out a ninety thousand stadium
again. Uh, and and dothe kind of numbers WrestleMania three did.
But you also have Bobby the BrainHeenan, who is with Andrea, and
he and Heenan comes out, andhe starts with the jokes. He starts

(44:58):
with this and that, and thenhe also adds just that hint of menace,
that hint of seriousness, and Andrejust stands there looking like a soulless
vessel. Um, just like Andrehas the expression like you could not say
I don't give a fuck about anyoneor anything more than the expression Andrea has
in this in this clip. So, um, I'm not sure. And

(45:20):
now after saying all that, I'mnot sure how much this particular clip will
contain. But let's let's see.It's a four and a half minute clip,
so I think you'll see the you'llsee all the good highlights and uh,
here we go. Are you ready, Ricky, Let's do it?
Yes, Manny jer Bobby the BrainHeenan from Beverly Hills, California, and
he should be followed by the biggestprofessional athlete in the world today, the

(45:42):
eighth wonder of the world at sevenfoot four. Oh you said of a
bitch. Dailymotion is buffering twenty fivepounds. The man that's gonna be challenging
Hulk Hogan for the heavyweight championship?Are the giant? Look at this?
Yeah? He may? I see? Well apparently not. I don't know.

(46:08):
Nice nice way of saying no,just sit out you in the willow,
But I'm trying what you wrote meout. Wait a minute, I'll
ask the question. You brought meout to do an interview right right in
front of the media here in Michigan, right who's going to do it?
You or me? Well, I'llask the questions. If you don't have
you good to give you the answers? All right, right now, I

(46:30):
give up. Great. What wouldyou like to talk about? First,
mister old, I think we shouldtalk about Andre the Giant, very dear,
close personal friend of Paul Cogan.Holgan actually looked up to this man
for years and years and years becausehe's seven feet five. Reporters, I

(46:50):
understand that that you have requested fromWorld Wrestling in Federation president and Jack Coney
that a new heavyweight title belt bemade specifically for this event. Is that
correct? That's correct? And thebelt was supposed to I guess I'll be
ready next Monday. And uh,it's gonna be made. Sure that it's
being made. Boy, I surehate to be in in front of a
judge and have used my mouth.Beast. If you're walking me down a

(47:13):
road, shave in my hair andtrying to spet me in a chair,
you can I speak you mine?I am. I sure it's going to
be made. Yes, I'm sure. I'm on top of everything. I
know what's happening. I'm not someglad hand or like some people. I
know there's a new belt being made. It's being made to fit a man,
a giant of a man, thenext champion in the world. There's
a little seriousness before he switches soeffortlessly. And could I prevail upon you,

(47:39):
sir, to say a few words. It's obvious the man doesn't care
to speak to you today. Nowyou want to go maybe slap them around
a business if he can get thepeople. The folks that I talk to
about a country right now are bettingthat Andrea is going to be the next

(48:00):
heavyweight chant in the world. Let'sall good things come to an end.
The man's had three good years hisworld. Channon had a cartoon show named
after him. He's done movies,he's done television. He's gotta line the
dolls out. He's got bead cheese, He's got everything out sew us on
very the Giant exactly. But he'smissing one thing. It's a championship of
the World. I mean the guyssay three years, you act like it's

(48:21):
all over for holding. He cando him and piping. Fantastic, all
right, Bobby, he hed anythingfor us to continue on this conversation.
It sums to be Deteriorady. Youknow, I was bored when you first
brought me in. That's this timewas showing that he was disappointed. He's

(48:44):
disappointed by the whole situation. AndJean's good. Now watch Hogan's acting here.
It's actually really good. Jap.I saw you at the airport and
welcome back to tom What do youknow mean, Gene, I'm glad to
be back, brother. I justwish it was under different circumstances. Man.

(49:05):
You know, we've got WrestleMania threein all of Detroit City, the
whole state of Mission. Everybody's firedup. Yeah you're a human, brother,
Yeah, you're a human man,and you're going down. Yeah,

(49:27):
haining right in that line between comedyand serious you know, for so long,
Man, I thought there was abig man seven foot four or five
hundred and fifty pounds. Used tolook up to him, you know,
Pat seeing his true colors ain't muchthere. I can't wait from ours twenty
ninth. You should respect the guya lot. Man taught me everything.

(49:50):
I know. I don't have anyrespect for you all now none. Can't
wait all right? So, uh, ricky, how was that for?
Like just the flavor of that wholething, that whole nineteen eighty seven presentation

(50:15):
there, Uh, wonderful stuff.It wasn't it. It's reality based.
What I really liked is um,I know I talked about this all the
time, but you know it wasin the Uh it looked like like a
hotel conference room. Yeah, likea banquet room. But it made it
very believable. Yes, like areal press conference. Yeah, like it's

(50:36):
it was like a legitimate press conferenceand wasn't overdone. It wasn't overproduced.
Andre comes in full of sweat,you know, being him being large.
Um, I thought it was reallygood. He looked like he just came
from the hotel bar and like that'swhere he had been. Yeah, press
conference, Like I don't give afuck, I'm the biggest man in the

(50:57):
world. Yeah, I'm gonna comein full of sweat and I'm gonna sit
here and not say anything. Andyeah, and one WWE logo in the
back. But you see this oldsixties wallpaper, whatever it was, I
really liked it. Again, itwas very, very believable. What did
you think of Hogan's promos. Didyou feel that he was riding the line
between like, I'm really heartbroken bythis guy, but I'm also pissed off

(51:21):
because he's turned on me. Ohyeah, it was like legitimate. I
mean Hogan never did genuine. Yeah, it was genuine. Like I thought
that was some of Hogan's best workon the mic there, and and I
thought just so much talent there withJean and Bobby, because Bobby Heenan was
riding that line like he's he's talkingabout, you know, him and Piper
can go to Hollywood together, youknow, one to Paramount, one to

(51:43):
Fox think of park cars, likehe's making these jokes. But then then
at the same time he's like,you know, I'm on top of things.
I know the new belts being made, and then and then it gets
seriously It's like and it's being madeto fit a man, a giant of
a man, and like he didn'tcould do that so smoothly, just pop
back and forth, and then Okerland'sperfect. He's got this sort of disappointed

(52:04):
uncle vibe where he's just like,you know, but you do have anything
else to say? During this interview, it seems to be deteriorate, deteriorating
quickly, and he's just he's disappointedthat this friendly, happy giant that he
used to be friends with won't evenspeak to him now and he's turned on
Hulk Hogan. And I just thoughteverybody played their part so well. And
did you notice like not one thingwas really mentioned, like oh, that

(52:24):
championship is mine? Felt it wasno, it was I don't like you,
you don't like me, and viceversa. There's beef between us.
There's a store, and it's likewow, Like if I was just tuning
into this and I'd never watched wrestlingbefore, I'd be like, well,
I'm kind of interested now, Imight want to check that out. I

(52:45):
might want to check this out.Yeah, I'm with you one hundred percent,
Ricky. That's very very stute observation. And I think, you know,
think just look at that clip andhow big did that match feel?
Now? Of course we know it'sa legendary match now at sands of time,
legendary match, but just looking atthat clip, how big did that
match feel? Can you remember thelast time a match in actual modern day

(53:07):
wrestling felt as big as that?President? Because you know, wrestlers used
to be on Regis and Kathy Leaguethe Region in Kathy Lee Gifford Show.
They used to be on talk showsbecause the country cared. Again. I
spoke about this before. My parentsnever watched wrestling religiously, but if I
would ask Hi who the Undertaker wasor who Oh Colgan was, I don't
know who? That is why becausethey saw them in mainstream media and you

(53:31):
know people people cared. Yeah,and Ricky. There's only two other matches
I can think of that ever hadanywhere close to this level of big fight
feel, and that would have beenthe Battle of a Billionaires match at WrestleMania
twenty three. It was Umaga versusBobby Lashley, but you had Vince mcmannon
Umaga's corner, Trump Donald Trump inLashley's corner, and it was for the

(53:54):
hair. Either Donald Trump or Evincewould lose his hair and Vince Yeah,
but not taking away from that,but you know, Okay, the gimmick
and Donald Trump being there, Ithink brought it up. Not taking away
from that, of course it was. If it had just been Umaga and
Bobby last year would have nothing.But I'm just saying, Uh, that
match had such a big fight feelbecause Vincent Trump did all this media and

(54:15):
made it feel like a big,big deal. You like, Donald Trump
was a major star at that point. And then the only other one I
can think of beyond that would havebeen Steve Austin and Rock at WrestleMania seventeen
where it was like they were bothat their apex um and went into WrestleMania
seventeen is truly like the biggest matchthis company, this company that is hugely

(54:35):
popular, as popular as we've everbeen. This is the biggest match we
can put on. You know what'sthat? Uh Bam bam and Lawrence Taylor
for nineteen ninety five that was amega push. Yeah, in that era
when things were so down, whenthey had a big workout in Times Square
um with Diesel there and Lawrence Taylor. They tried their best with that one.

(54:57):
Unfortunately it didn't translate. It dida bad by rate in spite of
all the hype. Yeah, butanyway, Ricky, anything more to say
about this one before we uh wetag out here into our next segment.
Keep it simple. And I thoughtit was I thought it was excellent.
It was again believable, it wasgenuine. It would make me want to
tune in, It would make mewant to spend however much money WrestleMania three

(55:17):
was back then, I would wantto see the outcome. Yeah, yeah,
And one more note about that thatpress conference. That press conference was
twenty six days before WrestleMania three,and it was where Roddy Piper had actually
announced his retirement, that he wouldretire, and that and the match against
Adrian Adonis at WrestleMania three win loserdraw would be the last time that we

(55:40):
saw Piper. Unfortunately, he disappearedfor two years, came back, and
he was still wrestling up until,you know, a year or two before
he died in his sixties. Soit just goes to show you that the
pool of this business man. Itit's like the you know, the old
Hotel California cliche. You can youcan check out any time you want but
you can never leave. Maybe that'show wrestling is, well, well it

(56:05):
maybe that's how wrestling was. Maybethat's how it was. Yeah, So
anyway, I'm going to show theentire WWE universe. I've been working my
whole life for this, you knowwhat. And I saw beyond Belair when
she won her Matt the Rumble,the Women's Rumble match, and she's legitimately
crying and saying, I know,I want to thank my mom and dad,

(56:28):
and it was a nice, sweetmoment, but she should have been
They should have ripped her a newasshole when she got back and said,
look, well if they if theydidn't want this to come across as everybody's
sucking the McMahon family's uh, youknow cox and uh, I'm just happy
to be here. I'm so happyto be here. Thank you for letting
me on the big show. Here'smy moment. If it wasn't so much

(56:50):
of that shit back in the day, they would have drug beyond Kablair back
there and said, look, youdo your interview with with a real reporter
back here, backstage for a featurewhatever. When you're out there in the
ring in the arena, don't becrying and saying about mom dad champion.
You're supposed to be a fighting champion. This is the biggest accomplishment of your
athletic career. It's not about yourmoment and your and your your spotlight like

(57:14):
it's the wrong vibe, but that'sthe vibe they push nowadays. So anyway,
it drives me nuts. It's sostupid, it's so stupid and and
disheartening that it's made me angry enough. I'm gonna end the segment right now,
Ricky, I'm ending the whole show. I'm retiring from podcasting after so
all right, well, I guesswe won't go that far. We'll see

(57:35):
you, uh quite soon to hearwith the next next segment, Welcome fans,
two two rows from Ringside and tworows beat Club. We are going
to bring you profound spoken word readingsof the lyrics of songs related to professional

(58:00):
wrestling, most likely in most casesentrance theme music. So I am going
to put it over to our firstact of the evening, Ricky, let
me get my let me get myshared screen on here, because I am
going to provide you with some ambiance, sir, and you're gonna feel like

(58:21):
you are in a jazz club andthat there is real wait to what you're
saying here, there's real. Thismeans something you see, So I am
going to share my screen. Bringup this jazz club ambiance and uh all
right, give a big round ofapplause to Richard counting that Chetta Seretta performing

(58:47):
demolition. Here comes the acts.Here come the smasher, the demolition,
walking disaster. Pain and destruction areour middle names. Search and destroy you

(59:14):
run and will find you. There'sno place to hide. The demos will
get you. Pain and destruction areour middle names. The demolition. You
better slate your act of contrition.I'm getting chills, Ricky. That was

(59:36):
that was profound and beautiful what youjust did. The demolition. You better
state your act of contrition. Herecomes the acts, and here comes the
smasher, the demolition, walking disaster. Brilliant, brilliant, brilliant. Search

(59:57):
and destroy you run and will findyou. There's no place to hide.
The demos will get you. Demolish, Barkie. I'm going to need another
drink. I've just seen a geniusat work here. Big round of applause
here for Richard Saretta. Thank youpatrons of the Beat. Club, Ricky,

(01:00:22):
that was that was quite nice whatyou did there. Than welcome back
fans to the two rows from RingsideBeat Club. We are here to once
again take an associated song associated withthe great sport of professional wrestling and do
a dramatic spoken word version of saidsong. So I am going to choose

(01:00:45):
a song from the first wrestling albumproduced by the WWF. This was performed
by Roddy Piper. And a littleinteresting note here, the song is actually
called fuck Everybody. It's a coversong, and I deleted the I deleted
the name of the band that thatoriginally did it. It's not important.

(01:01:05):
Roddy Piper's version is much better,but he kind of when he's singing it,
he kind of just says fun,everybody, Fun, Everybody kind of
leaves off the cut at the end. So when they released it, it
was released as for Everybody, butthe lyrics don't make any sense for for
everybody. So as you're listening tothis, just remember it is fuck Everybody,

(01:01:27):
rowdy Roddy Piper. So, Ricky, I am going to once again
start our ambiance and if you wouldn'tmind applaud as you see fit, I'm
gonna go for it. Shall Igo for it? I'm ready. I

(01:01:51):
used to worry about what people thoughtabout me. Now I couldn't care less.
As you can plainly see. Theysaid I was stupid, they said
I was strange. Well maybe Iam, but I never change. The

(01:02:16):
world may not like me, that'sokay. There's only one thing, hang,
I've got to say, and thatis fuck everybody. Fuck everybody.
You talk about me A bunch ofdirty lies. But they could laugh at

(01:02:43):
me, so they made me cry. But now they can all just kiss
my trash because I found myself andI'm such a gas. The world may
not like me, but that's okay. There's only one thing I have to

(01:03:07):
say. Yeah, fuck everybody,Fuck everybody. I took the side man
route. Lord knows how I tried. I kissed a lot of trash,
lost a lot of pride. Nowmatter how much you give them, they

(01:03:29):
are never satisfied because the only wayto please them is to commit suicide.
Fuck everybody, Thank you, thankyou, thank you. I appreciate your
your kind attention. There, andwe'll go ahead and exit the club here,

(01:03:52):
Ricky honest opinion. How was myHow was my beat club debut?
I must know I loved it.Your voice is very, very soothing,
soothing voice. You say, well, I appreciate that. I appreciate that,
and I even I even brought myleather jacket on that one as I
got up on the stage under whichI'm wearing. By the way, are

(01:04:13):
two rows from ringside baseball shirts.These little dandies are flying off the shelves,
so please go to the real WHMGdot com and pick yourself up one
today. But Ricky, I havea feeling you and I are going to
be visiting the Beat Club again herequite soon. I believe you're gonna be
stepping in again very soon, veryvery soon. And you know what I'm
I have a mind to wet mywhistle, so it might be sooner than

(01:04:36):
you think. Until then, fans, thank you for joining us in the
smoke ring filled cavern called the BeatClub, and we will be back right
after this. We now bring youback to the conclusion of the first part

(01:04:57):
of our in your House Buried alive review. Enjoy back when Vince McMahon
cared about his own tag team championships. Do you remember when Braun Stroman fought
at that wrestleman and his partner wasthe eleven year old kid and they've beat
Shamus and Cesarro for the tag teambelts. It was one of the biggest

(01:05:18):
jokes in wrestling that I've ever seen, that the World Tag Team Champions of
ww braun Stroman and Nicholas. I. That's not even wrestling funny. That's
not even like, oh my god, how over the top or how ridiculous.
That's just plain insulting and stupid.There's a Triple H back there on

(01:05:39):
the Superstar lin I did pay moneyfor it and I was best. Ray
Rougeau isn't saying much in the Superstarsection. He's sort of being overtalked by
by Triple H. But all right, so we've seen Austin go over Triple

(01:06:00):
H. We've seen jrs Jr.Has had just about enough of this faulty
headset problem, and I think JRis uh Is he going to cut a
promo here? Yeah? Jr's inthe ring. Can you crank the volume
here, Ricky so the fans canhear what JR Has to say? Television

(01:06:31):
story? What is going on here? Thanks promise he's taking They're bringing pret

(01:06:53):
hard back. You didn't there foryou. You were in South Africa.
JR. Were very uncomfortable, butgood segment here to say, what you

(01:07:27):
mean that? How bad do youthink JR? Actually wanted to cut a
real promos at some points when hewas being terribly abused by the company boss.

(01:07:50):
He tosses the microphone Vince congratulating himselfon the on the good catch of
the microphone that JR. Threw athim. JR. The King has a
disgusted look on his face. JRIs done. I guess Ricky's He's done
these conditions. Yeah, so muchfor the show must go on. JR

(01:08:14):
has has has quit on it here. But this this was a good angle
here with heal JR. Unfortune neverreally went anywhere. The fake diesel and
fake raizer was a miserable failure,and then eventually he just went back to
being a good guy. Oh,Ricky, what are we looking at here
yet? Ron Simmons dressed up?Yeah, you say Ron Simmons as though
people are picturing in their mind thegreat classic wrestler, uh and and football

(01:08:36):
legend Ron Simmons, one of thetoughest men in history, that the leader
of the nation of domination. Butwhat we're actually seeing here is his first
iteration where and there's a man whocan't even speak English. I'm at Johnson.
He just put some x's and numberstogether and shouted it loudly and slobber.
That's how we talked. But youhad Faruke in that ridiculous blue rubber

(01:08:57):
gladiator helmet. Was that not thedumbest outfit? Real decides? There was
such a goofy gimmick, even fornineteen nineties, that was like one step
above the Portuguese man of war AldoMontoya. For why would you do that
too to a former champion? Andnow Ahmed's acts, Am Johnson. I
used to like Ahmed back in theday, but apparently it was a bit
of a headcase. Yes, Iguess he was high drama, high drama

(01:09:23):
and he hurt people. Yeah,but he's very stiff. And there he
had attacked. He attacked Faruke RonSimmons in the locker room with some kind
of a beam or a baseball bat, and Ron Simmons actually selling it.
But they had a good angle,I remember Simmons, and they did have
a pretty good angle that culminated atthe ninety six Royal Rumble in San Antonio

(01:09:46):
and mister perfect is back out here. Again, Ricky, or at least
mister Perfect's music is playing. Doesthat mean we're getting Perfect? Yes.
In fact, mis Perfect is talkingto Jim Ross in the isle way now
they're shaking hands. Perfects a littleundone from the last time we saw him,

(01:10:08):
Ricky, he's the tie is undone, the jacket's gone, his hair
is down. I guess that crazychick took him for a bit of a
ride back in the dressing room.Either way, though, it seems like
he's made some kind of a pactor an agreement with Jr. And it'll
be interesting to see what comes fromthis. It looks like Perfect is coming

(01:10:30):
back around to where the announcers areand maybe he's gonna sit and do some
commentary. Yes he is. Hewas really good on the mic too.
I always thought he was. Hewas solid. So a little tense moment

(01:10:56):
here between Kurt Henning and Jerry Lawler. For those of you who are not
familiar with this much wrestling history,Kurt Henning was actually defeated for the AWA
World title by Jerry Lawler back innineteen eighties seven. I want to say
it was eighty seven or eighty eight. I believe it might have been eighty
eight, but they just had atense moment there where Lawler was saying this

(01:11:17):
might not be the perfect headset,and Perfect just sort of ignored him and
disregarded him. But there is nowan Intercontinental Championship match that mister Perfect wants
to watch here between the bizarre onegold Dust back in his full on this
was like the peak of gold Dustand his androgynous, I compressively sexual gimmick.

(01:11:40):
I couldn't look back now to prefeatthis gimmick, but I remember being
young and being like what the fuckis? You know, I always thought
gold Dust was so over the top, but it was like great, like
in a bad way. But Iwas just like, what am I watching?
What am I seeing here? Andlook at I mean, at this
point you have Marlena, who wasstill Marlena wearing the gold evening gown,

(01:12:00):
smoking the cigar. This was sucha great pack, a great looking package
of dustin Reynolds and Terry Remels asgold Dust and Marlena gold Dust wearing a
giant, flowing blonde woman's wig withglitter in it. You know. Bruce
Pritcher brought up a good point likejust how successful that gimmick was like,
I think about how long the golddust gimmick, Lanston, It's remarkable,

(01:12:21):
Like it lasted decades. Yeah,it lasted from nineteen ninety six all the
way to when Dustin Rhodes went toaw. He was on and off gold
dust that whole time. He hada couple of breaks. So let me
ask you, is it Mark Merrowor is it Johnny be Bad? Do
you which one do I like better? I like John to be Bad better

(01:12:42):
than Mark Merrow, but I thinkthat unfortunately, Mark Merrow just sort of
had a goofy personality and it workedas Johnny be Bad as like an aggressive
baby face. It really just didn'twork. He came across a little too
hokey. I thought, Yeah,although se Sable looks like looks like two
million dollars, doesn't she ricky withthat old trim on the black dress.

(01:13:03):
And this was still when she wasthe nice, wholesome, smiling Sable before
she became a megahore and really apain in the ass to deal with behind
the scenes. From what I've heard, so Perfect and Lawler still jousting,
and mister Perfect saying he has astupid crown, and Jerry Lawler playing subtle

(01:13:24):
heel or a subtle adversary. Buthere's where Merrow was the Intercontinental champion here,
Ricky, I actually saw him winit in a tournament final. He
beat Peruke in the Intercontinental title tournament. And it was only a few months
before, only a few weeks evenbefore this show, because I remember they
had the Buried Alive tombstone in theaisleway promoting Buried Alive Hershey. This was

(01:13:46):
at Hershey Park Arena. Yeah,that's where they had the finals of the
Intercontinental tournament on raw and Marrow beatFuke with I was yeah, and he
beat him with the Shooting Star Press, which was in the first time anyone
seen the Shooting Star Press on WWF. And what a cool little sparks show
they had for Mark Merrow. Ihad forgotten about that, the twirly sparks

(01:14:08):
here, Rickey, what do youthink of that white Intercontinental title? I
know your color blind, but youcan tell white versus dark? Do you
like a vetter on the light strapof the dark strap? I just completely
forgot and was not a wet Wardwas not aware that Mark Merrow was the
Intercontinental Champions. Yeah, he tradedit back he eventually lost it to Hunter
Hurst Helmsley, and then Helmsley lostit to the Rock when the Rock was

(01:14:36):
Rocky Maya Villa the Blue Chipper.So this one, fans for this week's
edition of Two Rows from Ringside,will in fact be our main event of
this week's show, and you're goingto see an Intercontinental Championship defense here Mark
Merrow defending against Goldust, who hada very healthy run the Intercontinental belt.

(01:15:01):
This was this was post Rustlemania twelve. Gold Dust's biggest moment probably in wrestling
was the Hollywood Backlot brought at WrestleManiatwelve. That was the previous WrestleMania of
this year. And uh so goldDust has just come off basically his biggest
run. I loved when he seethat thing where he would run his fingers

(01:15:21):
off his chest and yeah, andthen sometimes sometimes he would do the bite.
He would be like, yeah,I thought that was so good.
Yeah. Gold Dust still a verybizarre looking character, but yeah. So
after that Piper run, he hada brief feud with the Ultimate Warrior which

(01:15:41):
never really went anywhere, and thenhe had a feud with the Undertaker which
just recently ended before this. SoBam Bengelow or might Man. He had
a he had a match with Bambiwith a paper view, but it wasn't
really a feud, uh, butonly you know about a year later this
would have been WrestleMania fourteen times,so about a year and a half later.
First of all, gold Dust shortlyafter this would turn face. He

(01:16:05):
feud with Triple Age and that wasthe introduction of China. I remember,
yes, right, and China wouldlike rag down Marina Marlena. At every
turn she would attack her in thecrowd. So gold Dust turned face,
and then gold Dust turned back heel. And when he turned back heel,
after you knew he had a realfamily and a daughter and all that he
turned into a gold Dust off thecharts when he was the artist formerly known

(01:16:29):
as gold Dust, and he wouldwear s and m gear to the ring.
He would wear like dildos and shit. He would wear like you know.
Basically, it was one of themost bizarre gimmicks in history. The
artists formerly known as gold Dust,so bizarre, in fact, quickly that
on a New Year's episode of Raw, gold Dust came out as Baby New
Year in a diaper. And ifyou remember that beaten up by Steve Austin

(01:16:51):
and thrown in a port upon it. Oh wrestling, Yes, you gotta
love it. But so in away you could say gold Dust was coming
off his first major run. Butthere were other big moments to come.
A little bit of a screw upon the on the float over arm drag
there by Mark Merrow. He hitsthe second one without an issue. Gold

(01:17:13):
Dust looked a little bulky here,like he was putting on weight or is
that just the sup Maybe I thinkit might just be the soup, But
I don't know. He's a bigdude though. Oh yeah, Dustin Rhodes
is much bigger than people assuming.And I think it's he's one of the
few bright spots in my opinion aw because at his age, like his
matches are really really good. Rightagain? And how dare I was talking

(01:17:39):
about all of the assets that awhas in all the wisdom? I am
so sorry that I left out DustinRhodes. Well yeah, and if anybody's
gonna be if anybody's gonna be listenedto by Cody on the EVP, yes
it would be his brother. Shameon me. Maybe man was was Terry
Reynolds hot to trot or what yes, surre. I remember when I was

(01:18:05):
sixteen years old, seventeen whatever itwas, and China came out of the
crowd and attacked Marlena in that littleshort Minnie dress, and Marlena's dress flew
up and you could you got likea nice little fong shot. When I
was, when I was a ahorrimon's on fire sixteen year old, my

(01:18:26):
head just about exploded when Marlena's goldenlittle ass came out of that dress.
Ricky, Marlene, I gave methe opportunity. Within ten minutes, I'd
be shooting ghost loads big run ofclotheslines here by Mark Merrow. Gold Dust
takes a powder outside the ring andMarrow now dives over with a front flip

(01:18:47):
over the top rope, and thatrubbed some of the paint off of gold
dust. I think half of golddust rope. Yeah, the dust and
old dust was it was a deadgiveaway. I think half of gold Dust's
face is now on the ash cheekof Mark Merrow from that flip. Now

(01:19:08):
he's gonna he's rolled gold dust backin and he's flipping back in with an
over the top leg drop. Andthought he was gonna get him there,
but gold Dust snuck the shoulder out. You know this fan in the front
row and that big red T shirt. Yeah, he's causing quite the stir
up there. I just wonder,because both Austin and Triple H jacked around.

(01:19:30):
I don't know what he's saying orhe must be someone. He must
be someone, because they either securitywould have gotten rid of him by now.
WHOA gold Dust just reached up throughthe legs of Mark Marrow, grabbing
around the neck and did a veryI don't want to cut there. Actually
is a security guard sitting right now. Did you notice that watching the camera,
guys sitting backwards? Yeah, soI wonder if they are somebody ricky

(01:19:55):
and that security is there for them. I don't know, maybe they're just
kind of loud him off. Theycould be, but I like, WWF
would not just have a security guycome out there babysit them. Uh.
The security I think is probably outthere for them, and they must be
someone because otherwise, why why wouldn'tyou just kick the guys out? Why
would why would you put up withtheir nonsense and just security guys sit there?

(01:20:19):
So Yeah, Sable went from wholesomewholesome girlfriend of the wild Man to
Playboy, pin up Girl, allin the course of about two years,
and she was Do you remember howoversable was. Yeah, she was like
the biggest star in the company underneath, like Austin in the rock yep.

(01:20:42):
And also her posing for Playboy certainlyhelped as well. Oh for sure that
that took her to another level.And uh and she was at heel at
that point when that came out,that she was still polarizing and extremely popular.
She was one of the superstars chosento be on the cover of TV
Guide. I think I had myfirst lease once she took off her shirt
and was her boobs were covered inthe black paint. Yes, the latex

(01:21:06):
fingerprints of Mark Merrow. Actually thosewere Mark Merrow's hand. I knew what
I liked. I knew that ofall the things I liked in life,
I liked boobs the most. Idon't know about you. I'm always I'm
always a south side booty guy,didn't you hear I performed? Ask man?

(01:21:32):
So gold Dust is taken control backof this match drops a classic fist
drop where gold Dust falls to hisback as he drives the fist into the
forehead of his opponent to cover attemptsthere neither got it done. Back to
the chin lock, you know,heel gold Dust could be a little boring

(01:21:53):
to watch at times, because whileDustin Rose was a great wrestler and could
do amazing matches as a heel,he slowed down his whole style and he
was more or less like the plottingaggressor, and some of his matches could
get a little bit plotting is probablythe right word. But I'd much rather
take a little bit of plotting thanthan have these sixty two moves in the

(01:22:15):
span of thirty seconds. Uh.You know, it's weird about Mark Merrow
too, Ricky that when they getclose ups of it, it almost looks
like he's still wearing some of thatJohnny be bad. Yeah. Every time
I see I just can't help butthink of Johnny and it's like Mark Merrow's
ripped and he's like a pretty goodperformer. I think he's just got a
bit of a feminine looking he's gettingkind of like burned him, you know

(01:22:36):
what I mean. Like, well, I think if they if they'd have
gone all the way with it,any given was awesome. They fought they
basically collided in mid air and Merrowgot the better of a high cross body.
The crowds come alive a little bit. At this point, gold Does
slow down the flurry, but like, yeah, after you see Johnny be

(01:22:58):
bad, you can't see him.Yeah, I mean that that's true.
I mean, well, look,gold Does had the same problem. Even
to this day, golds has gotthe mica shut the hell out? Is
that the only reason he took thenumber was or the mic to say,
shut up cold us threatening the crowdby saying he's gonna he's gonna come out

(01:23:29):
there and stick his tongue down everyone of their throats. Ricky boy,
that would be a heel move inthe COVID days. Wouldn't heat you.
You'd be the biggest heal in wrestlingif you did that these days. You
imagined the COVID crowd telling me tonguedown their throat. Yeah, those guys
must be there, Those guys mustbe somebody. Those guys are clowning around.

(01:23:51):
Yeah, either they're just super fansthat are being allowed to get away
with a lot of bullshit. Orbut here's the thing, if they are
somebody, they wouldn't be active likethat. You know, that was a
fantastic move Mark Barrow. Oh,I thought he was gonna get the three
count with that. He did aspringboard back flip, moonsaalt off the ropes.
Gold Dust shoves him chest first intothe corner. Gold Dust now going

(01:24:13):
for that curtain call. Move thebackwards soup plex onto his the backwards lift
on the soup plex and them downforward to the mat, and he doesn't
hit it. Marro flips over.Marrow hooks the shoulders with the feet and
he's gonna wow. Oh, Ithought for sure. Usually I'm pretty good
about calling the three count. Marrowdidn't get it, though, gold Dust

(01:24:34):
caught him on a running charge anddumped him out. But at this point
I'd be starting to wonder Ricky,because I thought those two big moves from
Marrow, we're gonna get it done. Those two goofs are now rubbing gold
Dust back. I really need tofigure out what these guys are. They
better get out of gold Dust.They're gonna get fist in the mount.

(01:24:54):
If they were someone, they wouldn'tbe acting like buffoons like this. So
like if they were celebrities or actors, you know, yeah, but they're
they're on camera way too much forthem to just be fans, like they
would have been ushered out of thereby now all the touching they're doing,
I just I feel like there mustbe somebody. I could be wrong.
I really could be wrong, Butgat his bleach blonde bull cut. So

(01:25:18):
mister Perfect says, somebody's got tohead law and order around here. The
referee is not doing enough. He'sgoing to pick up Mark Marrow and seemingly
assist him here. Of course,they were setting up, as I said
earlier, Perfect would a few weekslater turn on Mark Marrow and help Triple
H win the Intercontinental Belt. Speakingof Triple H, here he comes Ricky

(01:25:40):
down the aisleway. Triple H,now pointing his finger at mister Perfect,
kicks over the director's chair left thereby Marlena. Yeah, Ricky, I
don't know. We may never knowabout those two guys. Now, gold
Us from a high was gonna attackmister Perfect. Mister Perfect hit him in

(01:26:01):
the chops? Is it just methough? But I'm really starting to hate
those fans, those two guys.They're very annoying. I want one of
the wrestlers to hit them, especiallythat that that well, they're both horrible,
especially that Leviathly there is a Leviathanthere with it, and then next
to a guy with a bad bleachjob. All right, so after all
that interference and Perfect and Helmsley sortof fighting back to the dressing room or

(01:26:28):
threatening each other back to the dressingroom, now Merrow got the advantage back.
Gold Us is down. We're gonnasee the shooting star Press. I
think that's what we're setting up for. Yet there it is awesome, beautifully
executed shooting star press. That isgonna That is an awesome finisher. And
mister Perfect came back to flameless tie. I guess he just was chasing Helmsley
with the back. Now Perfect's inthe ring. He's going to congratulate Mark

(01:26:49):
Merrow. And now you have thehand being raised by mister perfect sables hand
being raised. Nobody thinks mister Perfectis just a nice guy at this point.
Little do they know that he wouldreveal himself to be he What do

(01:27:12):
you what do you rate the shootingstar Press by Merril? Right, Tad,
that was really nice here it isfrom a separate angle. You know
some great top rope maneuvers too coldscorpio. Oh he was. He was
a pioneers underappreciated wrestler. He heinvented so many moves in the States.
He was he was a groundbreaking wrestlerwhen he first came out. What you

(01:27:33):
say he was extremely underappreciated. Yeah, unfortunately he is. And he was
great as Scorpio in the WWE.Uh. I'm sorry. He was great
at Scorpio in WCW, but unfortunatelythat was too too low profile. He
never became a star. I thinkhe could have. And then when he
finally got to the w w Ein the ninety six actually this year,

(01:27:54):
and he became flash Funk. Hewas a guy named Pimp. It was
ridiculous. Uh, And what waswrong with just being too cold Scorpio.
Well, anyway, fans, weare going to tag out here for the
week and we will be back nextweek with the second half Buried Alive from
the Market Square Arena in Indianapolis,Indiana. We hope you've enjoyed this show.

(01:28:15):
We will see you next week forthe culmination, including Sam Mitchel's favorite
match, Taker and Mankind Buried Alive. Happy trails to you till we meet
again. And remember, fans,if you're not down with the safe side

(01:28:45):
and you're too wild for the wildside. You're rightful place is right here
with us. Two Rows from Ringside. Two Rows from Ringside has been brought
to you by Whitehorse Media Group andthis has been wrestling Wednesdays. Well you

(01:30:00):
got at time.

All Episodes

Episode Transcript

Popular Podcasts

Stuff You Should Know

Dateline NBC

The Breakfast Club

.css-15opob5{left:0;position:absolute;top:0.8rem;} All Episodes

.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}Tiptoe through the Tombstones Part 1

Episode Transcript

Popular Podcasts

.css-r6mb8g{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:1;overflow:hidden;}Stuff You Should Know

Dateline NBC

The Breakfast Club

All Episodes

Tiptoe through the Tombstones Part 1

Stuff You Should Know