Brewing Magic with Mini Unicorns, Pipeworks Brewing

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Grab a glass and settle in as we explore the unconventional path taken by Chicago's own Pipeworks Brewing. In an industry where the taproom reigns supreme, these brewers have flipped the script, opting for an off-premise tasting and shopping extravaganza. We'll navigate the impact of this choice on their brand in the bustling craft beer market, all while keeping the conversation as bubbly as the beers we adore. And to those not yet of legal sip-age, fear not, for there's plenty of frothy knowledge to soak up that requires no ID.

Ever wondered if a unicorn could be your drinking buddy? We'll whisk you away to a place where the line between myth and ale blurs. Our journey with Pipeworks Brewing isn't just about the liquid gold in our glasses; it's a romp through the whimsy of their beer names, the nostalgia-evoking can designs, and a brewery ethos steeped in community and creativity. We'll even detour through the fantastical, from unicorn lore to the unique traditions of Lake Superior State University's unicorn questing. By the end of our chat, you might just believe in the magical connection between storytelling, brewing, and the occasional sparkle.

We wrap up our session with a toast to the quirky and the quaint, from the snowman burning ritual bidding winter adieu to the refreshing burst of Mini Unicorn Pale Ale that chases away our thirst. Pipeworks Brewing demonstrates that the craft beer experience is more than what's poured into a pint glass—it's a tapestry woven with innovation, tradition, and a sprinkle of the extraordinary. So join us on this offbeat expedition through the sudsy realms of craft beer, where every sip tells a story and every story is worth the pour. Cheers to the journey!

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:10):
All right, well, welcome in folks once again.
Folks, because you know we'resuper hip and old.

Speaker 2 (00:17):
We're hip and old or something folks.

Speaker 1 (00:19):
Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, adults of all
ages of drinking age, and Isuppose, if you're younger,
maybe you're just learning theropes of a beer for future
reference.

Speaker 2 (00:29):
Well, what is drinking age?
It depends on the country andfor all these listeners out in
other countries.
Some of them drink at 16, 15years old.

Speaker 1 (00:36):
If you're in a far off land, a different country
like Wisconsin, they let youdrink at pretty much any age if
your parent says okay.

Speaker 2 (00:42):
They do, and we've tried that before and it didn't
go over so well with what wewere trying to do.

Speaker 1 (00:46):
Well, fair enough.

Speaker 2 (00:48):
Do you?

Speaker 1 (00:49):
remember, do I remember the Clarks?
We were trying to get theClarks to drink, remember?
Yeah, that's right, we couldn'tquite get.

Speaker 2 (00:55):
Julian on board, but whatever.

Speaker 1 (00:58):
Well, we'll have to work on that next time.
That was so many beers ago Imean years ago.

Speaker 2 (01:05):
That was a lot of beers ago, right Plus years.

Speaker 1 (01:11):
Beers plus years.
But yeah, I don't know.
I suppose I could say it's nota 21 plus listening viewing
event.

Speaker 2 (01:19):
No, we don't have restrictions on it, we're not
discriminatory?

Speaker 1 (01:22):
No, no, we're not even 18 plus, I guess to a
certain extent.

Speaker 2 (01:24):
You know, I mean.

Speaker 1 (01:25):
I could.
No, we're going to keep thatzipped up.

Speaker 2 (01:27):
It's fine, you know we'll be all right.

Speaker 1 (01:30):
Yeah, we're not going to get into that.
That's going to be on our otherpage.
That's a whole different.
Only fans Andy's got an onlyfans it.
There you go Should.

Speaker 2 (01:41):
I get out some ones right now.

Speaker 1 (01:43):
I like it.
I like it as long as we're notgoing to get the twos going on,
you're going to make it rain allover your chest.
That doesn't sound good, no itsounds kind of you know.
So today on the podcast, Backto the beer Pipeworks.

Speaker 2 (02:00):
That doesn't sound good either does it.

Speaker 1 (02:04):
We were not even a couple minutes minutes in and
we've already just gone rightoff the rails here.
So welcome into the two guysand beer podcast studio talking
about brewing beer and thebreweries that do that.
That is it.
Nothing else, just straightprofessionalism here in the
wonderful studios of two guys ina beer podcast.

(02:26):
So glad you could join us foryet another episode.
Uh, I don't even know whatepisode we're on, to be
perfectly honest.
Uh, 24, 25, it might be lessthan that, to be honest.
You know, I think we'reprobably maybe 23 ish if this?

Speaker 2 (02:41):
if yeah, if this episode comes out in any
specific order, which we don'treally do necessarily, this one
would be episode 23.
There we go, we're moving rightalong.

Speaker 1 (02:50):
I was kind of close, you were, I was ballparking it.
It's a nice ballpark it is, andif you get to the right section
of said ballpark you can havewhat we featured on.
One of our other episodes wasBeer for Baseball.

Speaker 2 (03:02):
Right, which isn't far from this one that we're
going to feature on this episode.

Speaker 1 (03:06):
Exactly that was from Off Color Brewing, which is
about I think I looked it up alittle bit ago about four and a
half miles away from this one.
So if you're in the Chicagoarea or I guess, if you're not,
and you're just going throughthere, or you just have a
hankering for some good beer,pipeworks Brewing, pipeworks
Brewing, pipeworks Brewing outof Chicago, illinois, is our
deed today.

(03:27):
That's what we're going to bedrinking and talking about a
little bit.
They are 3912 West McLeanAvenue in Chicago.
One unique thing I will sayabout this go ahead and stop by
there.
Go ahead and get yourself somePipeworks Brewing, but first and
foremost, they don't have ataproom man.
There's not a lot of placesthat do that.
But first and foremost, theydon't have a tap room man.
There's not a lot of placesthat do that.

(03:47):
But they just distribute.
They do sell on site.
Essentially, it's kind of liketheir own personal liquor store.
You go in there, you can tastesome of the beers they have the
beers available for tasting andthen you just buy like a
four-pack similar to the onethat we have today.
You know, and every beer thatthey sell is for off premise.

(04:08):
They do not do an on-prem typeof situation at all.

Speaker 2 (04:12):
It's definitely a little different than what your
typical craft brewery or smallbrewery is.
I'm not quite sure how big thisbrewery is, but that's
definitely a different way ofgoing about it.
For sure it's going there,maybe take a and then you got to
buy what you want to buy andyou're out of there.

Speaker 1 (04:26):
And if you can get yourself built up enough, in a
way you kind of save a littlebit on the infrastructure.
You don't have to have the taproom and the staff to be able to
do that.
And you know not that glasswareis super expensive, but you
know glassware and washing andthere's a lot of steps involved
in doing that Differentlicensees, I'm sure, and you
know, like your experience withowning a bar, you're required to

(04:46):
serve food.

Speaker 2 (04:47):
You know, I don't know what Chicago's regulations
are, but maybe breweries arerequired to have some sort of
food or something there.
You know, you save all thatoverhead on all those sorts of
things.

Speaker 1 (04:57):
And if you're going to have something like this I
mean I'm not making a comparisonbecause obviously size is much
different but you don't see likea Coors Light or Miller Light
having a tap room.
I think maybe you might be ableto taste some some of them in
Milwaukee, I guess I'm not 100%sure but you don't see that like
they're not a microbrewery kindof deal, you know, it's more of
a.
They're already well known andestablished.

(05:18):
You can get it at any liquorstore anywhere.
They don't feel the need tohave just the Coors Light
Ballroom or something like thatright.

Speaker 2 (05:25):
I wonder if Miller has a tap room.
We took that tour out there atone time did and I remember at
the end we got to sample at theend, but I think I don't think
you can go there to drink.
I think it's after the tour.
You drank part of the tour youcan hang out for a minute and
drink a few different, fewdifferent of their offerings.
But I don't think you can gothere to drink.
I could be wrong.
That was again many beers ago,many years ago.

Speaker 1 (05:48):
Yeah, if we have to do it again, we'll put it on the
road trip map.
Don't twist my arm, exactly.
So, yeah, so Pipeworks is whatwe're talking about today.
Some of the other things thatthey do a little bit uniquely to
a certain extent.
They also they distribute, butthey self distribute.
I mean they will to like otherstates, they will like go

(06:09):
through like a distributor anddo that, but otherwise generally
they just have a group ofpeople that they like All right,
well, we got this keg andManny's down the road needs a
new keg of Ninja versus Unicornor whatever it is that they have
Put it in your van and bring itdown there Interesting.
So they do that, you know,which is good, you know, if you
have the ability to do that andthe people to do that.

(06:31):
But usually I'm sure thatthere's some sort of something
involved.
But that's another thing about,like breweries, that typically
if they want to sell, especiallyin the state of Minnesota, they
have to go through adistributor, right, it's like a
distributor Right, it's like arequirement.
Yeah, and it's they.
They can sometimes like bringit there directly, but they
still like invoicing still hasto go through because the

(06:52):
distributor has to get their cutof the body you know which
sometimes actually ends upmaking.
That's that's part of honestly,that's that's what I've heard in
the past is why a lot of liquorstores don't carry kegs really
anymore.
It used to be where you couldgo like, all right, well, we're
going to have just a rager atthe old farm and we're going to
just post up a keg in the washtub with a bunch of ice and $85

(07:16):
or $100, and maybe another $20for the tap handle or something
like that, and we're just goingto have a little kegger on our
own a little bit.
And now you go there and it'slike almost $200 to be able to
do something like that.
Well, what had happened wasthey were selling the keg to the
liquor stores at minimal costwhatever.
It was $30 or something likethat, based on what they got

(07:40):
from the actual brewery and theliquor store was then selling it
for like a hundred bucks orsomething to be able to make
their money on it.
Because it takes up some space.
I don't know if you know this ornot, but kegs are a little bit
big.
They're a little bit bulky tomove around.
They're kind of a pain in theass to deal with, so they were
charging a little bit more forit.
Well then, distributors likewhoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,

(08:05):
you 50 bucks on this, we'regoing to make it, we're going to
.
So now they're selling it tothem for $95 and then naturally
they had to kind of adjust upbeyond there.
Well now, even for bars, thecost of kegs has to be the same.
They can't just change it for aliquor store.
And so now a keg of Coors Lightis $70, $80 because that's just
moved up across the board.
So instead of being able to getthat's part of why beer prices

(08:29):
have expanded, even for cheapbeer, I guess the light beers
that don't cost hardly much tomake, the distributors are
getting the money.
Beer greed, man, beer greed.
It's terrible.
That's why you got to staysmall.
Stay local.
Drink local.
Was that up?
Yep, drink local, there we go.
And it makes you end Local, wasthat up?
Yep?
Drink Local, there we go.

Speaker 2 (08:44):
Perfect, had to make sure I ended up right there.

Speaker 1 (08:47):
Play some pipe with Pipeworks.
So Pipeworks establishedChicago in 2012.
2012 is what it is, as Imentioned, four and a half miles
away from Off Color Brewing.
We did that one, that one.
It was so much fun.
I really like it.

Speaker 2 (09:03):
We got to go check out both.

Speaker 1 (09:04):
Of these really.
I feel like I have hadPipeworks once upon a time in my
life the Ninja versus Unicorn.
They always got fun names forall their beers.

Speaker 2 (09:12):
They have a lot of interesting names, and it's
quite the list too.

Speaker 1 (09:19):
I don't know if you have it pulled up there or if
you looked at it.
But they have a long list ofbeer Trying to look through it a
little bit, but I haven't seenall of them just yet but the
ones that I mean.
The Unicorn is what we're doingtoday, which is a single IPA.
The Ninja versus Unicorn is adouble IPA and I'm always in for
a diaper, maybe even a tripod,although that gets a little bit
heavy, a little bit aggressivesometimes, but nonetheless, the

(09:42):
Mini Unicorn is what we have IPA.
You know the Mini Unicorn iswhat we have IPA standard,
regular, normal size.
Well, tall boy, but he was atall boy.
You know the regular IPA.
Today.
That's what we're doing.
But Pipeworks has mentioned2012, by friends that shared a
dream of crafting quality andcreative beers.
Well, they definitely havecreative in there with a name

(10:03):
like Mini Unicorn, that's forsure they say that they've
garnered accolades for thedistinctive beers and the
original artworks, which, if yousee the artworks, I encourage
you to go online and look it up.
Look at their instagram,facebook, their social media.
A lot of these, uh, the wrapsthat they have are quite
fantastic and they areinteresting.

Speaker 2 (10:22):
I'll describe everybody here the Mini Unicorn.
When I first brought up toAndrew and we were talking about
this, if you look at the canthose of you that are watching
you can see the can, those ofyou that are listening it
reminds me of a Trapper Keeperfrom the mid-'90s.
The hot pinks, the hot blues,fluorescent green, fluorescent
blue, fluorescent yellow that'sthe color of the can, those 90s

(10:46):
hot pink, fluorescent color cans.
It's a silver can with themajor colors blue, but the
unicorns are all differentcolors fruit stripe gum, if you
will.
There y'all, yep, that's no,that's kind of what the can
looks like.
So the artwork on the can ispretty cool and, to be honest
with you, that's what drew me tothis four pack when I bought it
.
When I was browsing the liquorstore, I saw the can and I'm

(11:07):
like, oh, wow, I'm going to takea look at that.
So here we are, right here inthe Two Guys and Beer studio,
just because of the color.

Speaker 1 (11:13):
Love it, absolutely love it.
They do have on their website,if you go to their website I
think we talked a little bitabout that through the areas of
Chicago, milwaukee andChicagoland area, but otherwise
they do have a whole list ofdifferent distributors that they

(11:34):
go through.
They don't have a specific mapas far as what bars have it,
because when you go through thedistributor it kind of makes it
a little bit goofy there.
But they do have a list thereof the states that they go to
and Minnesota.
They go through Clear RiverBeverage, which is not one that
I'm familiar with personally,but that's fine.
I don't own a bar anymore so Idon't have to worry about things

(11:56):
like that so much anymore.
But they do distribute whatappears to be between 15 and 20
states, so they do have a prettygood reach all the way out to
Utah, alabama, colorado, so it'snot just Indiana and Illinois.
They do actually have a prettygood reach out beyond that.

(12:16):
So kind of an interesting, funlittle deal.
As you mentioned before, theydo not have a tap room.
They have the to-go shop calledthe Dojo.
All beers are for off-premisesWednesday through Friday noon to
7, saturday 11 to 5.

Speaker 2 (12:31):
Perfect.
I wonder if that cuts down onyour bar insurance, because
you're not really insuring thatwhole aspect.

Speaker 1 (12:38):
If you're not selling on sale.
You don't have to have thattype of.
At least I wouldn't think.
Maybe it's different in Indianaor Chicago.
Just come, pick up your beerand get to have that type of.
At least I wouldn't think.

Speaker 2 (12:45):
I don't know, maybe it's different in Indiana or
Chicago.
But yeah, just come pick upyour beer and get the hell out.
Basically, yeah, then it's justlike a liquor store essentially
, you know you're just doing anoff sale.

Speaker 1 (12:52):
Yep, let's see here.
They do self-distribution fornew releases on Mondays they
have an email if you have a bar,restaurant, store, something
you're looking to be able to getinto, they have just a sales at
pipeworksbrewingcom.
So it's not super complicated,just an easy way to get that in
there and be able to bring it inthere.
They do say that it might takea little bit, but they have a

(13:14):
small but talented team.
So passionate people doing beer.
That's what we like to hear.
That's the way it goes.
They do not give tours as ofyet, but they do try to get as
much information out there.
As I mentioned, they have theFacebook, they got the Instagram
.
They do have a lot of places tobe able to kind of see what

(13:34):
they're doing there.
They do not ship beer as well.
Technically, I don't thinkyou're really supposed to do
that, even though people do,generally through the mail.

Speaker 2 (13:42):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (13:42):
But you know that's.
You know Neither here or there.
Know that's, you know Neitherhere or there.
Yeah, that's a whole differentthing, but they do sometimes.
Potentially you can email themif you have questions about
potentially being involved in afundraiser.
So maybe they would donate somebeer for a fundraiser.
I would like to have afundraiser for my thirst.

Speaker 2 (13:58):
That is a great fundraiser.
That is fantastic.

Speaker 1 (14:03):
It was a great fundraiser.
That is fantastic.
So, yeah, that's a lot of theinfo that they have out there on
their site.
At least Try to look at some ofthe other information they have
online, but it's kind of alittle bit of a different deal,
so we should probably have someof this.

Speaker 2 (14:20):
I've been talking for about 10 minutes here.

Speaker 1 (14:22):
We haven't even gotten to the best part of the
episode.

Speaker 2 (14:23):
We should probably get into it and try it out.
Absolutely, we should get ahold of them and see if they
would want to be on the show.
We say this every time, butthis is a completely different
type of thing Having not havinga tap room and stuff just buy it
and go.
So it'd be interesting to heartheir story, why they chose to
do that and how that all cameabout See kind of what the
mindset is and what the thoughtprocess, absolutely.

(14:44):
But in the meantime, shall we,we probably shall we should try
some mini unicorn.

Speaker 1 (14:49):
Thank you, sir.
Oh, you bet it does have.
It's almost like all thestickers that you would get on
the old, like the books Scratchand sniff, yeah, like all sorts
of things like that.
I'm not going to try that justyet.

Speaker 2 (15:04):
You don't want to scratch and sniff?

Speaker 1 (15:09):
Nope yeah it's an India pale ale, citra, simcoe
Mosaic and Amarillo hops 5%,here we go, all right, here we
are.
Oh yeah, I love it Every time.
Love it.
Oh yeah, oh, I love it Everytime.
Love it.
Yeah, it's a fun.

(15:29):
Can you know?
Stuff all over the place.
I mean, it looks like just likeit's a very fun can.
Like you get that sticker bookfor your kids and they put it
all over the dang place andwhatever.
Yeah, now I don't have kids,you know.
But I've heard, I've heard tell, you know, my dogs don't put a
whole lot of stickers all over,so all right.

Speaker 2 (15:48):
First, uh, first steps here um, it's definitely
fruity, yep it's citrusy.

Speaker 1 (15:59):
I was gonna say it's real heavy on hops but it's like
you get a fair amount, like Ifeel like I get a fair amount
like right away, but then itkind of drifts off into like
kind of the fruity tastes afterthat.

Speaker 2 (16:13):
Yeah, you do get the bitterness right away, for sure
it does get to the fruity tastesafter that, yeah, you do get
the bitterness right away, forsure it does get to the fruity
taste, the citrusy, almost kindof like a grapefruit taste.

Speaker 1 (16:22):
Maybe there at the end kind of smooths it out I
guess in a way it's kind of dry,I think it's kind of a dry but
light, light body type, and thenthe finish is maybe somewhat
bitter, but more, more citrusy,I think, at the finish I think
that, uh, the lawnmower scale,maybe one while doing it, maybe

(16:43):
one afterwards, but I don't knowthat I'd have like a six pack
of them or anything throughoutthe coast of the afternoon.
I mean it's very good.
I don't want to say it's notgood, it is very good.
But just from the way that ittastes it, you know it, it's got
some heaviness to it a littlebit.
It's got some hops to it.
It's got some good flavor to it.
Yeah, it definitely has some.

Speaker 2 (17:04):
It does have good flavor.
I don't know if I would drink alot of this mowing lawn, but
this is not my style for thattype of drinking.
But for a pale ale it's superlight.
You know, I think of a pale aleis typically more hoppy than
this.
One is more of a darker beer,more of a heavy beer.
This one's kind of like a light, crisp citrus pale ale

(17:28):
essentially.
So you could pound for if thisis your style of beer.

Speaker 1 (17:32):
Yep, you know, absolutely, absolutely yeah,
yeah, and I guess that's kind ofwhy I say I could probably do
one or two instead of just one.
You get like a dragon smellbecause I'm not even mowing on
when I'm going to have one ofthose.
That's just going to be that,that's going to be the end of it
.
But, yeah, this is somethingyou could definitely have a
couple.

Speaker 2 (17:49):
This is definitely different how it's got the hops
to the citrus and the fruity.
I think that's really coolabout this beer.
Actually Like the beginning,middle and end of your taste, it
really changes from one, twoand three.
It's almost like yeah.

Speaker 1 (18:06):
You can feel where it goes through because, like I
said, mentally I was going tosay, well, it's definitely an
IPA, but by the time I swallowedit and was going to start
talking, it's completelydifferent.
I was like, oh well, it's notquite, uh it's almost like that
candy licor made.

Speaker 2 (18:20):
You know, you have those white chalky candy sticks
and you dip it in the powder.
You eat it.
Well, they had the differentdid you ever the flavor?
I just no, you just eat thestick.
Yeah, the stick is better thana powder, but they had the, the
flavor changing powder, powderif you remember.
You'd put it on your tongue itwould taste great, but by the
time you swallowed it it wascherry.

(18:40):
This beer reminds me of that alot.
It starts with a bitterhoppiness, but not very bitter,
kind of a light bitter, and thenit gets sweet and grapefruity
at the end.
I can see that yeah absolutely.

Speaker 1 (18:53):
Yeah, I like it, I, I like it.
You know, it does have thattransition, is a very
interesting transition and Imean it gets into like how you
brew it and what you're using,obviously.
But it is kind of interestingto have that kind of different
change within the same sip.
You know, sometimes it's thefirst, you know, third, of the
bureau tastes a certain way, butthen your mouth feel kind of

(19:14):
changes a little bit.
But this one is just right fromsip one is like bam, but then
settles in right away.
So it's, yeah, it's veryinteresting, I like it.
Pipeworks hats off to you.
Maybe I'll come to the dojo andyou know, or go to a liquor
store here, but it'd be fun togo down there, you know, like

(19:35):
you know.
Or go to a liquor store here,but it'd be fun to go down there
, you know.
Like you said, try to connectwith them, see if we can't kind
of get their mindset on that Anyroad trips worth it in the
spirit of the man.

Speaker 2 (19:42):
If we're going to Chicago tomorrow to dojo it up
at Pipeworks, then I guess we'regoing to Chicago tomorrow.
You know, we got to do what wegot to do.
Really, we actually have towork tomorrow, but I don't know
next weekend, the weekend after,but you're gone, yeah that's
true, we can figure somethingout, I'm sure.

Speaker 1 (19:57):
Yeah, we'll figure it out.
Absolutely I'll skip baseballor something I don't know.
Sorry guys can't be there.
I've got to go.

Speaker 2 (20:04):
I'm going to a brewery in Chicago.

Speaker 1 (20:07):
It's like oh, what are you doing in Chicago?
Going to the brewery.

Speaker 2 (20:15):
I just told you I'm going to the brewery, going to
lay pipe.
That doesn't sound too goodeither, but no.
Well, mini unicorn, that'squite the interesting name.
I'd sure like to know how Icame up with that name.
Unicorn beer I don't typicallyassociate like a unicorn with
beer or the colors of the can.
I wonder if they're trying toattract a younger audience with

(20:35):
the colors.
Maybe Could be the underagevariety.

Speaker 1 (20:40):
It's working for me because I'm quite young.

Speaker 2 (20:42):
Well, it keeps you staring at the can.
You are getting young, Andy.
You are becoming young.
I think you're regressing.
You hit your peak Now.
You're going back down.

Speaker 1 (20:54):
Next year 38, 37.
Right, that's just my height atthis point.

Speaker 2 (20:57):
that's all that's going south right now, shrinking
down yeah, I would like to knowwhy they come up with the
unicorn name.
That's half the fun of some ofthese micro breweries and small
breweries, it's just thedifferent names that they come
up with.

Speaker 1 (21:14):
It's pretty cool yeah , absolutely, and I'm sure that
they probably have an.
It's pretty cool.
Yeah, absolutely, and I'm surethat they probably have an idea
of you know where they're comingup with the ideas or why, or
whatever, but that's somethingyou know.
Like you said, we'll have totry to see if we can get them on
the podcast, be able to talkabout it a little bit and see
you know what they have to sayabout it, where their
inspiration comes from.

Speaker 2 (21:34):
Yeah, it would be interesting.
Well, I got a few things aboutunicorns.
I actually had to do someresearch about this because I
thought it would be interestingto find some facts or tales, or
whatever you want to call them,about unicorns.
There we go.

Speaker 1 (21:49):
I like it.

Speaker 2 (21:50):
I don't know anything about unicorns.
I know I think I've seen themon TV.
They're like a narwhal horseexactly a narwhal, which of
course would be a whale but theygot the horn.

Speaker 1 (22:04):
You know, it's kind of the same, you know which
actually a lot of things.

Speaker 2 (22:07):
When I was reading about unicorns on the internet
to present, share with all ofyou a lot of like the the old
writings of them, people thoughtthey would see a narwhal or a
rhinoceros or something.
They would equate that withunicorns and their descriptions
of them.
I didn't bring any of thoseinteresting tidbits with me, but

(22:27):
that you brought up narwhal alot of the old bc medieval type
times, kings and queens.
That's what they would equatewith unicorns is those
particular animals and norwaland rhinoceros and things like
anything with one horninteresting and since we're
talking about medieval, we'llcontinue on with that.

(22:49):
So one of the big myths and uhthings about unicorns it's
widely believed is the horns hadmagical powers.
Not necessarily that they'remagical powers, but they would
cure things like disease andpoison and this and that.
So if you were full of disease,andy, I'd stick you with my

(23:10):
horn and you would be cured, andyou would be cured.

Speaker 1 (23:20):
Well, I'm glad that.
I'm glad that I'm healthy, I'mglad.

Speaker 2 (23:23):
I'm doing okay.
Well, we're laying pipe inChicago.
I'm sticking Andy with my horn.
He is becoming disease free.
I think it's the other wayaround.
I think you get disease.

Speaker 1 (23:37):
I was going to say.

Speaker 2 (23:38):
I don't think that that's usually how that works.
So but for unicorn purposesback in medieval times and even
the unicorn lore, if you stucksomebody with a unicorn horn it
would cure disease, rid yourbody of poisons, and things like
that.
So King James back in thosetimes I don't know which one, 1,
2, or 3, 10, 20, I don't knowOne of the King Jameses once

(24:01):
poisoned one of his servantsjust to see if the horn that he
was given was an authenticunicorn horn.

Speaker 1 (24:08):
I'm guessing it wasn't.

Speaker 2 (24:10):
It was not.
Oh man.
The servant died, and then KingJames found out his horn was
not an authentic it's a goodthing he found out before he,
you know, did something seriousunicorn horn.

Speaker 1 (24:21):
Yeah, like taking somebody's life I wonder what
the first clue was.
Was it made out of wood?

Speaker 2 (24:27):
who knows?
It was probably a norwalk horse, oh there it could have been
yep so that's, that was kind ofinteresting.
Like, oh okay, we're just gonnapoison people and stick them
with horns and see if theysurvive.

Speaker 1 (24:43):
You know, people have done a lot of weird things for
a lot of weird reasons over thecourse of uh of over the course
of time yes, they sure have,especially back then, a Pegasi.

Speaker 2 (24:57):
That's a unicorn with wings.
You know the horses thatsupposedly fly around, there we
go.
Hey, that movie, theNeverEnding Story.
Was there a unicorn in that,that white?
Horse I think that there was.

Speaker 1 (25:06):
That white horse, the one way to bring up trauma
there, the white horse that getsyou know like sucked in the mud
, yeah, was not a unicorn.

Speaker 2 (25:14):
Okay, nope.
And horse that gets you knowlike sucked in the mud Was not a
unicorn?
Okay, nope.
And who was the damn dragonthat flew around Falcor, falcor?

Speaker 1 (25:21):
The luck dragon, right right, falcor the luck
dragon, which I have somesunglasses that are.
It's called the.
They're Gooders, so Gooders ifyou've ever had Gooders they're
kind of nice sunglasses andthey're like 30 bucks a piece
and so you know they're fine,but they all have like
interesting, crazy names to itor whatever.
So it's a pair of bluesunglasses that are Falcor's
fever dreams, and so I got thoseand everybody I'm like, oh,

(25:44):
look at it, cool name.
And they're like the hell'sFalcor, what I'm like.
How do you not know the luck?

Speaker 2 (25:50):
dragon.

Speaker 1 (25:50):
What, what.

Speaker 2 (25:52):
He was a friendly fella.

Speaker 1 (25:53):
I have to explain it to them, like, oh, I didn't
realize he had a name.
You've got to be kidding meright now.
Come on, of course he had aname.
Yeah, his name is Falcor.

Speaker 2 (26:02):
Right, oh, so there's no Pegasi in that movie.
I thought there was a unicornin that movie.
I remember the white horsegetting stuck in the mud, but
apparently it wasn't a unicorn.

Speaker 1 (26:14):
I don't think it was a unicorn.
It didn't even have wings, didit?
I could try to research, no, Ihaven't watched that one.
It definitely did not havewings, all right, but I don't
think that it was a unicorn.
I think it was just his trustysteed.

Speaker 2 (26:24):
Sure, it wasn't so trusty in the mud, nope.
So we know what a Pegasus is Ahorse, but it's not a unicorn so
no horn, pegasus, just wings.
I think they're on a lot ofthings.
Pegasus, yep, a baby unicorn,it's called sparkle is that kind
of like a mini unicorn?

Speaker 1 (26:46):
am I drinking a sparkle?
Is that what's happening rightnow?
Is that what you're trying totell me?

Speaker 2 (26:50):
you could be drinking a sparkle.
A mini unicorn could beconsidered a baby.
Fair enough.
I mean it could be you neverknow it's kind of confusing.

Speaker 1 (27:00):
Either that or we're just judging Because they have
mini horses.
I know that those are real andexist.
They do have mini horses.
They do.
I think we both know somepeople that deal with those At
least I do, maybe you do, Idon't know.

Speaker 2 (27:14):
Know, we'll figure that out later, I don't know.
Carry on.
So we're drinking the sparklehere.
Well, a group of unicorns iscalled a blessing.
Obviously it is right.
You mean, you just see thoseprancing around all over the
place.
You know they're park inmontana, that I can't think of
the name right now.

Speaker 1 (27:32):
Blessing Montana Right.

Speaker 2 (27:36):
Blessings of them all over the place, blessings of
unicorns so like a group or agathering of baby unicorns.

Speaker 1 (27:45):
Would that be a sparkle blessing or a blessing
sparkle?

Speaker 2 (27:48):
I like blessing, sparkle, blessing of sparkles.

Speaker 1 (27:55):
Can you bless a sparkle?
Well, if you have, enough ofthem.

Speaker 2 (28:00):
I don't like sparkles a whole lot.
Sparkles remind me of glitter,and glitter gets all over
everything.

Speaker 1 (28:04):
That's true.
It just gets on your face.
It's like that song from Pink.
Have you ever thrown a fistfulof glitter in the air?
No, because I have to cleanthat up later.
It's a terrible idea.

Speaker 2 (28:14):
It's so bad, what else?
So, according to a legend, aunicorn holds power of defiant
truth and will pierce a liar'sheart with its horn.
So it's another power of thisunicorn horn.

Speaker 1 (28:27):
I feel like that's another thing that probably was
tested in medieval times, but itwas probably kind of like witch
trials, you know, like stab himin the heart and he dies.
He's like well.

Speaker 2 (28:40):
I guess.
But it was probably kind oflike witch trials, you know,
like stab him in the heart andhe dies.
He's like, well, I guess he wastelling the truth and see what
happens.
I'm thinking we need a few ofthese, uh, divine unicorns in
washington dc.
We would nail them liars, realfucking quick.
They'd probably melt beforethey got there right, there
would be nothing left.
Yeah, then I can take over andrule with an iron fist.

Speaker 1 (28:53):
There you go go there , you go, I like it.
So let me ask you somethingwhat is more realistic here?
Because there's real animalsand fake animals.
You talk about differentanimals, like even a rhinoceros.
It really seems like thatshould actually be just a
dinosaur that shouldn't evenreally be around, to be honest.
But you look at a giraffe.
That's a real thing.

(29:15):
That's a goofy looking thing.
They're big and tall, but yet aunicorn doesn't actually exist.
Like what's more believable andI'm kind of stealing from the
internet a little bit here solike whatever Reddit or Facebook
post or whatever's out there orwhatever.
But what's more believable?
A horse with a horn?
Or a leopard, moose, camel witha 40 foot neck?

(29:37):
I mean, come on, let's be,we're getting to the hard truths
here tonight, folks.
That's like it.
Just that's a super hard.
If you were to try to describea giraffe to somebody that
hadn't seen one, would theythink that that's like a
believable thing?
So here's this gigantic thing.
It's a 40 foot neck.

(29:59):
It looks kind of like a leopardslower now.
Actually, I think they're kindof fast.
They are pretty fast but that'sbecause they got legs that are
like 35 feet long.

Speaker 2 (30:10):
They have a really good kick too, yeah, so but it
just doesn't seem.

Speaker 1 (30:14):
You know they can't they to drink water.
They gotta like work their waydown because they can't really
bend the neck.

Speaker 2 (30:20):
No, that is true.
Yeah, I've seen that before onlike a nature show or something,
at some point in time when Iwatched one.
Yeah, that they do.
They put their feet out prettyfar wide and get down, yeah but
yeah, unicorns not a thing.

Speaker 1 (30:33):
Well, they're not.
I don't know, maybe we're justthing.
Well, I don't know, maybe we'rejust being told that lie, I
don't know, maybe they are beingheld in some government
warehouse or something.

Speaker 2 (30:44):
Well, I got a little tidbit for you.
They're in the Australianoutback.
We'll talk a little bit abouthunting unicorns.
Oh, I got some good informationon that.
The plot thing you can getlicensed to hunt unicorns and
everything.
I almost thought about tryingthat today, but I just ran out
of time.
You're going to get licensedfor it.
I was going to get licensed.
We'll talk about that in alittle bit.
But did you know Asian acorns?

(31:06):
They gallop so smoothly maybelike this giraffe you're talking
about that they don't evencrush a blade of grass.
That's the Asian ones.
That's the Asian unicorns.

Speaker 1 (31:18):
That's why you can't track their hoof prints.

Speaker 2 (31:20):
You cannot.

Speaker 1 (31:21):
Yeah, because they don't leave prints.

Speaker 2 (31:24):
They do not.
You don't know.
If they have hooves, they'd begreat, that's true.

Speaker 1 (31:29):
Yeah, they may have paddles or something, no idea.

Speaker 2 (31:32):
Yeah, you don't even know, it's all lore.
Yeah, paddles or something,it's all lore.
The national animal of Scotland, great country of Scotland,
great Scott, a unicorn, that istheir national animal.

Speaker 1 (31:45):
It's got to be somebody's.
It's got to be somebody's.

Speaker 2 (31:49):
Oh, alright, so here we go.
I've got to get my notes here,my bullet points, so I don't
forget stuff.
But hunting unicorns you everthought about even hunting a
unicorn?

Speaker 1 (32:02):
Mm-mm, I have not.
Nope, that has not crossed mymind.

Speaker 2 (32:08):
It never came about, nope.

Speaker 1 (32:10):
Nope, it has not been .

Speaker 2 (32:12):
As you drink in a sparkle.
Yeah, I mean somebody else didthat, so it's fine well, to be
honest, I guess I never thoughtabout uh hunting a unicorn
either, but I bet you have noidea where to begin is that
where?

Speaker 1 (32:27):
why is mini unicorn?
Because they popped the hornoff and just poured it out.
That's why there's so manyhorses.
They just that's.
They're taking the horns offwhen they're young.
So they they stripped them oftheir being and they had to
squeeze it out like an orangeinto this, ferment it for a
little while, and now we haveMediunicorn Sparkle IPA.

(32:47):
That is a good theory.
We've talked about this beforethat when you get a good, solid
beer or two in, that's when thebest ideas start flowing for us
the myths and the legends andthe lore just come up.

Speaker 2 (33:02):
Well, where would you look for a unicorn if you're in
an enchanted forest?

Speaker 1 (33:06):
There aren't a lot of those around here.
No, no, minnesota doesn't havea lot of those yeah, they have a
lot of forests.

Speaker 2 (33:11):
I don't know if they're enchanted.

Speaker 1 (33:12):
Yeah, I don't know if they're enchanted.
Yeah, I don't know where youwould find that.
I feel like it'd be in thehills of Austria or something.

Speaker 2 (33:19):
It might be prettier over there there's a mountain
backdrop Right Could be.

Speaker 1 (33:23):
Yeah, I don't know.
I feel like it'd be somewherethere.
I don't feel like it'd be inthe Midwest.
Well, go to the Cenex in Ames,Iowa Looking.

Speaker 2 (33:34):
Well, Go to the Cenex in Ames.

Speaker 1 (33:34):
Iowa Looking for an enchanted forest.
You got one.

Speaker 2 (33:38):
I'm willing to drive a little bit.

Speaker 1 (33:43):
Looking to hunt some unicorns.
Maybe a mini unicorn or twoBefore I take off, though.
Have you seen Sasquatch.

Speaker 2 (33:48):
lately, which actually is funny, you bring
that up Going Squatchy Becauseanother beer that I have in my
fridge for another podcast hasgot a Sasquatch on it.

Speaker 1 (33:56):
Oh, here we go.

Speaker 2 (33:57):
And that's got out of Washington, the state of
Washington.
So that'll be on a futureepisode at some point.

Speaker 1 (34:02):
There we go, part of the national tour.
Right, I picked it up.

Speaker 2 (34:05):
When I saw the unicorn, I thought what goes
better with a unicorn than aSasquatch.
Right For lore, love it, lorelove it.
Mythology, whatever you want tocall it.
Well, if you're not looking inan enchanted forest or somewhere
on earth that you have to belooking.
Well, what do you need when youhunt?
You have to have a license.

Speaker 1 (34:24):
Yeah, it's true, because the government wants
their money.

Speaker 2 (34:27):
You don't want to otherwise they're poaching yeah,
you don't want to do that withunicorns.
They're majestic, I don't evenknow what unicorn season is.

Speaker 1 (34:35):
I feel like it's in the fall it's pretty much all
year oh yeah, yeah fair.

Speaker 2 (34:40):
I suppose you can find one right, and that's part
of the problem, but you can onlybag one unicorn a month,
according to the rules ofhunting unicorns sounds legit
and it has to be a male.

Speaker 1 (34:52):
You can't bag females , because females have yet to be
found apparently I you can'tbag females because females have
yet to be found.
I can't generally bag femalesanyway, so that's the math
that's up there.

Speaker 2 (35:01):
Well, I don't think your wife would like that.
I don't fuck with a lot, butI'll poke you with my horn if
you need an adventure.

Speaker 1 (35:07):
I don't think that that's the line that you should
go with.

Speaker 2 (35:09):
I'm here for you.
I'm here as a buddy, pipeworks,mini unicorn.

Speaker 1 (35:17):
Great bear.

Speaker 2 (35:18):
So you need a license to hunt stuff because you know
the government likes to stealour money.
Take our taxes, taxes eighttimes.
Take more money.
Well, lake Superior StateUniversity in Salt St Marie in
Michigan I was going to say Ifeel like that's in Duluth Well

(35:41):
Lake Superior is over there.
That that's true, it's a biglake.
I was kind of half right.
But they will issue you a questpermit to go hunt unicorns.
They don't call them huntingunicorns anymore because we
don't want to call it that, sonow it's called questing a quest
for you.
So you go on a quest.
Who doesn't want to go on?
A grand quest, but they'llgrant you a unicorn quest permit
, and thus your adventure beginsI'm going on an adventure, so

(36:09):
this is instructor at thiscollege that came up with this.
His name was is bill rabe.
He had a couple other englishprofessors with him there that
founded this whole ordeal thedepartment of natural unicorns,
of the unicorn hunters, nowcalled the unicorn questers.
This was actually founded in acollege lake superior state

(36:30):
university in salt saint marie.
Around the early 1970s is whenthis whole thing kicked off.

Speaker 1 (36:37):
So I'm all for, especially from like.
I feel like educationallocations, colleges,
universities, things of that,like throwing a little bit of
extra money at certain things,Cause you can create like a
little division of whatever tolike we're going to look at
something that people haven'tresearched ever and now we have

(36:58):
come up with.
You're probably throwing away alot of the money, but at the
same time you come up with likeoh, we have now cured polio or
something.
I don't know if that was athing for there, but you know
what I'm saying.
Like you, you researchdevelopment and you know things
like that.
Instead of doing like bigbusiness, you do it educational,
wise, like maybe it's a littlecheaper or something, I don't
know, but I like the idea ofthat.
But when you start drifting off, into mythological animals At a

(37:24):
university.
That's when you start.
I mean, even from thatstandpoint, I guess to a certain
extent you can get like adegree in Roman or not Roman
mythology, greek mythologyreekmythology.
Sure you know what I mean.
It's mythol mythology,mythology, mythology.
So it's mythological, not real,right, greek gods.

(37:44):
So in theory, I guess you knowit's kind of the same kind of
bit.

Speaker 2 (37:49):
So well, I guess, if you're interested in that stuff,
if you want to spend 20 grand ayear learning it, I mean,
that's really.

Speaker 1 (37:55):
That's really what it is.
You know the fine arts degrees,you know a lot of them don't
tend to go a lot, a lot ofplaces right, except for if you
get to be really good at it,then you end up being a
professor and you make a lot ofmoney, you sure do.
That's really the true trickthat people have been able to
pull off it sure is probablyjust like well, this unicorn

(38:17):
organization that they founded.

Speaker 2 (38:19):
the organization does make it clear that they don't
condone violence or killing ofthe unicorns because they are
mythical beasts, so they don'tcondone it.
But they founded anorganization to do that quest.

Speaker 1 (38:34):
I don't know to do that quest, I don't know kind of
a.
So they, do they haveconservation efforts or a
repopulation?
Do they have ways to preserve?

Speaker 2 (38:44):
not that I'm aware of nothing I could read on their
website.
If you go to the this college'swebsite, you can find all the
information on it there.
There's rules, there's words.
You can say.
Words's words you can say.
Words you can't say.

Speaker 1 (38:58):
Words you can't say Yep, I mean, I'm always in for
words.
You can't say they're banned.

Speaker 2 (39:04):
the unicorn hunting words they change every year.

Speaker 1 (39:08):
I didn't have any of them here Wait.
You can't say them while you'rehunting, or you can't say them
generally and get a license.
While you're questing, whileyou're questing.

Speaker 2 (39:18):
Oh, questing, that's right, we're not hunting
unicorns, we're questingunicorns.
They do advise that all thequesters bring a pair of pinking
shears and a flask of cognac.
You might need a few flasks ofcognac if you're going to go
around, that's true I'm notreally sure what pinking shears
are, but uh, cognac I'm familiarwith.

Speaker 1 (39:41):
I know that surprises you really this.

Speaker 2 (39:46):
Just two guys, a beer podcast have learned well, like
I said earlier, they've beenbeen giving permits since the
early 70s.
But the license, though, whenyou get a license to go quest
for unicorns, they don'tactually allow you the use of
any weapons, except forrubber-tipped arrows during

(40:07):
October's annual Bow and ArrowWeek.
So no weapons, no violence.
I don't know how you'resupposed to bag these, your one
male unicorn, a but you wrestlethem down, you stab them with
their own horn.

Speaker 1 (40:19):
Which would that?

Speaker 2 (40:19):
even work, because that would heal them.
How would you like turn their?
You'd snap their neck.
When you do that, can theybring themselves back to life
well, if you stab them with ahorn, that's restorative but if
they're dead, does their hornhave power?

Speaker 1 (40:34):
that's a great point.
We're going to have to researchthis.

Speaker 2 (40:37):
I wonder if the Unicorn Society of America
what's real interesting is,originally the licenses had to
be physically mailed to theapplicants, which is interesting
enough.
The guy, the bill, the guy thatfounded this with those English
professors he used his kidsduring summer vacation to stuff

(40:58):
them send out these licenses.

Speaker 1 (41:01):
Dad, what are?
We doing Making money sonMaking money.
Fooling silly Americans.

Speaker 2 (41:08):
So one of his sons, I think, if I remember correctly
his son's name was James he saidevery time his dad was in any
sort of media the newspaper, alocal television, local radio or
something they would gethundreds of requests a week to
get these unicorn licenses sentout.
So those kids that werespending summer break in school

(41:28):
stuffing envelopes full ofunicorn licenses.

Speaker 1 (41:31):
So it's bad enough that now you're like spending
your summer break stuffingenvelopes.
You're like spending yoursummer break stuffing envelopes,
but can you imagine being thekid of the guy that's like this
is what his thing is like?
You now have to get on the buslike, trust me, I've ridden a
bus in my day.
I'm guessing you've ridden abus or two in your day as a wee

(41:53):
lad.
And the brutal, the brutalitythat can happen from some of the
kids that and I know that youknow we can get into the whole
like bullying and all of thestuff.
Now you know that.
You know like when we wereyounger, you know it was just oh
, they're just teasing you andwhatever I get it, I don't need
all the hate mail.
I understand, I totallyunderstand.

(42:14):
It was called some prettybrutal things.
We'll talk about that onanother podcast.
But if your dad is the unicornguy, what'd you do this summer?

Speaker 2 (42:25):
I stuffed unicorn license letters and nailed them
around the world.

Speaker 1 (42:33):
Do you just?
Did you now overcorrect so farthat the bullies just don't have
to like just go sit over there?
They don't even know what to do.
Give me your lunch, orsomething I don't even know to
do.
Give me your lunch, orsomething I don't even know.
Like it's, I feel like youwould just have nowhere to go
with it.

Speaker 2 (42:43):
Yeah, that's.
That's crazy.
That would be an interestingchildhood growing up.
But luckily they don't have tomail them to you in the mail
anymore.
You can just simply go to thewebsite and print off the PDF
Convenient.

Speaker 1 (42:55):
How convenient.
Print off the PDF fileConvenient.
How convenient.
I don't want to have to try towait seven to ten days for the
postal service to bring me.
If I got one trotting along mystreet out here, right, I mean
Boom.

Speaker 2 (43:09):
Download the PDF.
Fill out your information.
You're good to go Nearby.

Speaker 1 (43:14):
here there is a rainbow street.

Speaker 2 (43:18):
Oh, it matches the can.

Speaker 1 (43:20):
Maybe this can be used as bait.
This might be, you know whenyou start talking about
mythological areas and enchantedforests.
Maybe I was wrong to think thatthe Midwest didn't have that.
Maybe, Maybe we just didn't seeit with our own mortal eyes.
That's what's happening here,this unicorn, dust or the

(43:42):
sprinkles have opened my mind'seye.

Speaker 2 (43:46):
And the blessings.
There could be a blessing onRainbow Street Exactly.
We might need a couplefour-packs for the blessing.
Throw it out there.
So when you fill out your form,your PDF form you can download
at your convenience on your PC.

Speaker 1 (43:59):
Which is super convenient really.

Speaker 2 (44:01):
Your smartphone.
You sign your name on it.
You email a copy of that withyour photo of yourself holding
the license to marketing atissuedu.

Speaker 1 (44:12):
So a picture of yourself holding a license like
proof of life?

Speaker 2 (44:15):
Well, they like to use your photo on their social
media.

Speaker 1 (44:19):
I'm sure that you do I feel like this is you're just
setting yourself up forransomware.
That's what's happening rightnow.
That's it like five years fromnow.

Speaker 2 (44:32):
So so you can do this and you'll be posted on their
social media for you.
Unicorn hunting don't tell myboss I might be doing this
tomorrow at work and when youemail on that, that basically is
just giving you, like yourrelease, permission to be posted
on their social, their socialmedia, essentially do you get

(44:53):
like some sort of certificatebecause I might just do this and
then like hang it on theoutside of my office?
There is a certificate.

Speaker 1 (45:00):
There we go, it's all coming together.

Speaker 2 (45:01):
In fact, Google up there on the computer, Lake
Superior State University, andyou will find the permit that
you can fill out.
It's actually pretty enchantingif you look at it, enchanting
it is.
Maybe we ought to get our ownpermits so we can hold it up on
the next episode and be likewe're certified unicorn hunters.

(45:22):
Who else in the state ofMinnesota is a certified unicorn
hunter?

Speaker 1 (45:28):
What other podcast, ladies and gentlemen, will tell
you how to be able to getyourself a permit to quest a
unicorn?

Speaker 2 (45:38):
Right.

Speaker 1 (45:39):
You haven't pulled it up yet.
I got the unicorn questingregulations.

Speaker 2 (45:42):
Is it not enchanted?
Right there, it's the.

Speaker 1 (45:44):
Department of Natural Unicorns, of the Unicorn
Hunters at Lake Superior StateUniversity.

Speaker 2 (45:52):
They enforce the following edicts yeah, there's
lots of rules there.

Speaker 1 (45:57):
Questing kit bag limits questing hours, day or
night, except when the ToothFairy or Santa Claus are around.
There might be only so muchmagic available at one time
Right?

Speaker 2 (46:09):
yeah, you can't hunt during those times.
Questing runs all season,except for those exceptions.

Speaker 1 (46:13):
Questing season all days of the year except for
Valentine's Day.
Questing season all days of theyear except for Valentine's Day
.
No unicorn can be pursuedduring the 24 consecutive hours
of love.

Speaker 2 (46:25):
Right.

Speaker 1 (46:26):
I mean, it all makes sense.

Speaker 2 (46:27):
It sure does.
I mean, once you have yourcompleted application, you're
free to chase unicorns, as longas you abide by all the rules.
Mm-hmm, there's quite a fewrules there.

Speaker 1 (46:36):
It is pretty liberal, though it does allow you to
quest in imagination.
You sure can.
That is part of the license.
It is available within that, soit is kind of all-encompassing
really If you want to have aquesting kit which is good.
Yeah, read what's in the kit,because preparation, my friends,
is the key to success in reallyanything.

Speaker 2 (47:00):
Unicorn hunting.
Unicorn hunting 101.

Speaker 1 (47:03):
This is the suggested kit.
You can add and subtract toyour liking, customize it for
your own ability, but this iswhat the Department of Natural
Unicorns suggests for yourquesting kit.
Here we go.
They don't recommend youactually quest because they
don't want to kill the unicorns.
Suggests for your questing kit.
Here we go.
They don't recommend youactually quest because they
don't want to kill the unicorns.
But if you were going to do so,you want to bring the following

(47:27):
supplies Serious intent.

Speaker 2 (47:30):
I'm all about that General levity, I can do that
too.
Check Really no really I can't.
I've got quite too.
Check Really no really I can't.
I've got quite the verticalleap.

Speaker 1 (47:42):
There we go.

Speaker 2 (47:43):
I can levitate for a good 3.2 seconds Sweet talk.
I don't have that.

Speaker 1 (47:49):
We might need to find some friends Refreshing
beverages, A flask of cognac foradults, juice box for the
children or a bottle of medievalpotion for unicorns.

Speaker 2 (48:02):
Well, how about mini unicorn pale ale?
That seems like a refreshment.

Speaker 1 (48:08):
Okay.
So then you need a curry comb,pinking shears, nail clipper
with file, hoof and horn trimmerhoof and horn polish ribbons.
It sounds like we're givingthis unicorn a mani-pedi.
It feels like that's wherewe're going.
Well, we're not hunting, we'requesting it, you're questing it.

Speaker 2 (48:31):
You grew up on a farm .
What if it's just like clippinga horse's hoof or a cow's?
They shave them down and pullthe rocks out.
That's true, you know.
We throw them on a you know alittle tip up.
It puts iodine on there.
Yeah, put a little tip up thingand salicylic acid and wrap the
hoof up, get a grinder and.
Right, yeah, horn goes flying.
There we go, get some of yourteeth.

Speaker 1 (48:52):
Exactly, yeah, you could also bring authorian
legend books and or works byChaucer.

Speaker 2 (49:00):
I don't know who that is, but I believe Jeffrey
Chaucer is.

Speaker 1 (49:05):
I'll double check here.
Jeffrey Chaucer spelled.
That's not the right one, Iclicked on the wrong one.
Chaucer is a Jeffrey Chaucerwith a G, one of those G-E-O-F-F
.
He was a poet that died in 1400.
Oh, perfect.
And he was also the what do youcall it?

(49:27):
The talking guy in A Knight'sTale.
You know the movie A Knight'sTale.

Speaker 2 (49:32):
With Heath Ledger.

Speaker 1 (49:33):
Yeah, with Heath Ledger.
He was the guy that they foundon the side of the road that was
walking naked.
That was a poet that could makethem Got it.
Got Ledger.
He was the guy that they foundon the side of the road that was
walking naked.
That was a poet that could makethem he called himself Jeffrey
Chaucer.
So he was Jeffrey Chaucer inthat one.
We got works and legend books.
Exactly we're getting rightthere.
And then optional, they say youcan bring iambic pentameter.

Speaker 2 (49:55):
Where do I get one of those?
Is that next to the fluxcapacitor down at the tool
rental shop?

Speaker 1 (50:02):
For those that don't know, and I don't know exactly
what it means, I just I've heardthe phrase before because of
the West Wing.
They talked about it on thereat one point in time.
But it is a type of metric lineused in English poetry and
verse drama.
The term describes the rhythmmeter, established words in each

(50:28):
line and the way that it's.
It's a free way phrases arebuilt.
It's so.
It's a structure of a poem,perfect.

Speaker 2 (50:37):
So my least knowledgeable structure of a
poem, perfect, so my leastknowledgeable subject of all
life, because I hated English soI had no clue of any of that.
So I can't go buy that down atthe tool rental shop then.

Speaker 1 (50:49):
As lines in iambic pentameter usually contain ten
syllables, it is considered aform of deca-syllabic verse.
Perfect, easy for you to sayYep, yeah, so, yeah, that's you
know.
I mean, what they weredescribing in the show that I

(51:14):
was watching in the West Wing,you know, was definitely like it
was hard to track what she wassaying.
So I was like what in the world, why is she talking like that?
So like I kind of get you knowthe bit that it did, that it's a
thing.
But uh, yeah, no, it's uhdefinitely kind of beyond me.
I could read a poem here if youreally would like me to, but uh

(51:34):
, it's uh well, all the Englishmajors at Westlake Superior
College there should know allabout that stuff.
Yep, they probably got someiambic pentameter workshops for
that.

Speaker 2 (51:49):
I bet they do.

Speaker 1 (51:50):
Some benefits, though , that I'm reading here.
Anyone and everyone prepared tojoin the quest will be issued a
unicorn license, as long aspotential members follow these
rules.

Speaker 2 (52:02):
Right.

Speaker 1 (52:03):
Follow the above, which, I'm assuming, is all of
these other things here, thequesting kit and whatnot.

Speaker 2 (52:10):
Pay no dues, but it's free, so you don't have to pay.
If you want to be a unicornquester you do not have to pay.
Exactly.
Well, actually, if you don'temail them, you can send it to
them and you will have to payfor postage, no purchase
necessary sort of.
No COD.
For you, young people, thatmeans cash on delivery, it's

(52:31):
true.

Speaker 1 (52:32):
Attend no meetings oh perfect.

Speaker 2 (52:34):
I'm very good at that .

Speaker 1 (52:37):
I'm so good at that Are nice to people and unicorns
alike.
So nobody that has gone into aretail establishment in the last
20 years is allowed to be apart of this.
Then dwindling unicorn herds.

(53:02):
We changed the word from tohunt to quest on the license,
while retaining the originaltitle of the organization,
because we thought that was fairoh, perfect, but isn't a group
of them called a blessing thatwe learned it is?

Speaker 2 (53:10):
they need to update their page.
That's true.
I have verified these facts onthe interweb.

Speaker 1 (53:16):
Everything you read is fact on the interweb I mean,
you wouldn't put it on there ifit wasn't exactly a thing yeah,
this is uh.
Yeah, you can uh huntingregulations, a hunting license.
There's a whole section on thehunting history.
It's super in-depth.

Speaker 2 (53:32):
I'm telling you.
This isn't just you're runningthe mill, print off a license
and you have a unicorn licenselike.
The license itself is superenchanted, it's colorful,
there's a bunch of stuff onthere.
It really is.

Speaker 1 (53:42):
This is a whole thing .
It's great stuff.
Oh my God, you can also on thispage.
I don't know if you scrolledall the way to the bottom but
you can also get a permit for asnowman burning Snowman.

Speaker 2 (53:56):
I read a little bit about that and it's like paper
snowmen that they light up onfire in the middle of winter.
So, it's not a real snowmanthat's burning, but whatever.

Speaker 1 (54:06):
Oh, I like this.
We talked about the banishedwords thing before.
This is just the banished wordsfor 2024 for misuse, overuse or
uselessness.
There's a lot of uselessness.
We have tumbled off the railshere.

Speaker 2 (54:25):
I think we tumbled off the rails at the beginning
of this episode because wepicked out a beer that's mini
unicorn.

Speaker 1 (54:28):
That's probably true.
We're way off the rails.
So the words that are on thislist ironically, for the most
part I kind of agree with Hack,because everything's a hack now,
everything's a hack Impact.
I could go either way on thatone.
At the end of the day, it's aneasy enough catchphrase.

Speaker 2 (54:48):
Yeah, but it's getting kind of sickening so,
yeah, I can go with that one.

Speaker 1 (54:52):
Riz.

Speaker 2 (54:54):
That needs to go like five years ago, slay.

Speaker 1 (55:00):
Yeah, iconic.

Speaker 2 (55:03):
Yeah.
I haven't really heard that oneused anywhere Cringeworthy.

Speaker 1 (55:07):
That can go.

Speaker 2 (55:08):
Everything's so cringe.

Speaker 1 (55:09):
Obsessed Side hustle and wait for it.
Those are your top 10 2024banished words list from Lake
Superior State University Forunicorn questing.
Perfect.
Yeah, there's a wholeexplanation in all of these
things.
While perfectly acceptable inspecific contexts, slay has

(55:33):
transcended its original meaningand infiltrated situations
where its usage no longer alignswith its intended significance.
Its transition from aspecialized term denoting
exceptional accomplishment to acommonplace expression for any
achievement prompts scrutinyinto its misapplication,
particularly because that's theword that I'm going to get

(55:53):
tripped up on.
Have another unicorn In thecharacterization or routine of
mundane actions?
Now it's sprinkled everywhere,from wearing a stylish outfit to
tackling the art of parallelparking.
Okay, that is their explanationon why slay.
I don't think this is evenconnected to unicorns.

(56:13):
I think this is just generallywhat Lake Superior University
has decided.
These words gotta go.

Speaker 2 (56:20):
Well, if anybody goes to that college, please reach
us out at twoguysandbeergmailcomand let us know what that's all
about.

Speaker 1 (56:29):
Interested about the snowman burning too.
Oh, apparently they hold theirannual snowman burning in March
by banishing old man winter,that's what they do.
They build a giant snowman andthey literally burn that guy
down.

Speaker 2 (56:44):
That's a real thing, though that's yeah, that's what
they do, yeah, huh.

Speaker 1 (56:49):
From introduction to conclusion, the entire ceremony
lasts approximately 15 minutes.

Speaker 2 (56:54):
That is the right type of thing for me folks, and
this is what you're spendingyour money for in college up
there at lake superior stateuniversity this is unicorn
questing and snowman burning.

Speaker 1 (57:06):
I support that I I'm with you on that one.

Speaker 2 (57:09):
I'll support that before you go up there, stop by
in chicago.
Pick up some uh, unicorn, miniunicorn, pale ale from Pipeworks
Brewery.

Speaker 1 (57:18):
Absolutely when they lay pipe.
Very well too.
Mini unicorn, india pale ale,the episode today, and yeah,
very good stuff though Verytasty and, like we said, like
gets it, and then it just kindof smooths out right away.

Speaker 2 (57:36):
It is very good beer.
Yeah, it's got differentflavors at different times when
you drink it.
I do recommend it.
It's good.
I would drink it again.
We've made a lot of fun, a lotof jokes about unicorns and the
flavor and stuff.
But Piper's Brewing in Chicagoif any of their other beers are
like this they definitely knowwhat they're doing, doing
something a little different, areal good beer, and I hope to.

(57:57):
When we reach out to them, Ihope to hear back from them at
some point in time.
Absolutely, we can talk to them.
Yeah, mini Unicorn Pale AleCheers, cheers, cheers, cheers,
cheers, cheers.