June 30, 2025 • 42 mins
While the Tramp is away, Elle will play! Buckle in for an all girls episode.
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Episode Transcript
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Elle (00:03):
Welcome back to Unapologetic Swingers.
I'm Al and today we're doingpart two of our very special
episode.
The All Girls Show.
Why Tramp is off having his ownadventures in Mexico.
So I have brought together twoof my very favorite women and
(00:23):
we've been going through a listof questions and then creating
our own as we go.
And there was definitely toomuch to talk about the first
time around.
So.
We decided that we would hit itfor a second time and cover a
few more topics'cause we're justhaving such a great time and the
mimosas are flowing and life isgood.
(00:44):
So, I'd like to welcome Nikkiand Polly and maybe if you could
just give me a, quick rundown ofwho you are and what you guys
like.
And we don't have to do thewhole, if you wanna know how
they got in the lifestyle, youcan listen to the first part of
episode 21, but just to kind ofintroduce them for a moment.
Nikki (01:02):
Okay.
Hi everybody.
I'm Nikki in the lifestyle forabout two years now.
Bisexual and liking a lot ofconstellations and events and so
far, having a great time.
Polly (01:16):
Hey everyone.
I'm Polly.
I've also been in the lifestylefor about two years and I'm also
bi.
Just exploring new things,meeting new people, and having
some really fun experiences.
Elle (01:27):
Oh, lovely, lovely.
Okay, so, where we left offwanted to talk about our
thoughts on resorts, clubs,cruises different venues in
which we meet people big.
Groups of sexy, fun people andwhat we like and maybe what
we're we don't like, if that'sthere.
Just to talk about real quick,
Polly (01:49):
I love going to the clubs.
And I'm so spoiled living hereand getting to go to Scarlet
Ranch because Yep.
From everybody that I havetalked to that's gone to clubs
all around the world, the ranchis the best that there is.
And so.
In my limited experience, I'mgonna say a thousand percent.
Yes, I agree with that.
We have been to two other clubs.
(02:10):
We went to one club in Dallasand there were four single men
and nobody else.
Oh.
And I looked at my husband and Iwas like, Nope.
Not stay.
This is not the place for us.
And then more recently we wentto a club in Florida and it was
really fun.
It was a fun vibe.
It was a fun theme night.
It was men's button downsunbuttoned.
(02:31):
Mm.
And so I've done that.
And what was, where was theclub?
What was it?
It was in Fort Lauderdale.
It was trap Trapes.
Okay.
I've heard good things aboutTrap.
I liked, I've been there too.
And, and it was nice it's notthe ranch.
Nope.
And so I did think there weresome oddities about it.
But it was a nice experience togo someplace new and see what
else was out there.
I have not been.
On a cruise.
We haven't gone to a resort yet,but we are going to be going to
(02:53):
desire for the first time thisyear.
Elle (02:55):
Oh.
I think you're gonna enjoy it.
It's like the ranch on Sunday.
Sunday, but you actually get apool.
That's awesome.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It'll be great.
You're gonna have a good time.
You'll meet all sorts of people.
You'll find that some peoplethat are there are, you have to
ask questions because they mightbe just, they like to be naked.
Yeah.
Or they like to watch or theylike to be watched.
So it's not an assumption thatsomebody is lifestyle and ready
(03:16):
to get down exactly.
And boogie.
But it's a great free place tobe.
Nikki (03:20):
Nikki?
So, we like to go to clubs too,where we're members at the
ranch.
Mm-hmm.
We do like the, when we travel.
See if there's anything in thetown for sure.
Where we end up to see is therea club, is there not, is there
any activity?
So we've been to trapeze in FortLauderdale.
(03:41):
Really enjoyed it.
After the ranch, one of myfavorites.
Oh, for good things.
It's, it's fun.
It's sexy.
But then the funny thing is theFlorida laws are different.
You're not allowed to undress onthe dance floor.
There's no nudity.
If you go in, as a man, it'scollar and long pants.
Mm-hmm.
And then the kicker for me wasif you go to the playroom, you
(04:03):
have to take all your clothesoff.
Right?
Just wear a towel, put a towel.
Put all your clothes away in awalker, no shoes, nothing.
And then you go buck naked.
You are supposed to go afterthese like doors and you have no
idea what's there.
Yeah, exactly.
And it's the weirdestexperience.
It was, I guess at the ranch youcan wander around and it's nice.
You can get also comfortablewith the idea.
(04:25):
Right, right.
You know, is a sexy, you go downsexy and look and watch.
Exactly.
Am I comfortable?
It's much more.
Polly (04:31):
At your own pace?
Or is it trape?
Like you just jump in.
Nikki (04:34):
Yeah.
You don't go past the doors ifyou, if you have clothes on.
Polly (04:37):
Yep.
And you are just
Nikki (04:38):
kinda like, what?
Mm-hmm.
So
Polly (04:40):
that was the experience.
There's no like, at least at theranch, you know where you've got
the little cabanas where you canclose the curtains and you can
have some sort of privacy if youwant it.
Whereas at trapeze it's just onegiant room with a bunch of
Nikki (04:52):
beds,
Polly (04:52):
vinyl covered beds, no sheets.
Like it was just.
That part of it was odd.
Nikki (04:58):
It's just different, let's put it that way.
It's just different.
It's different.
But the interesting thing isbecause you're in a different
state, that they do have certainlaws apparently.
Right.
'cause then we went to anotherclub in Orlando Secrets.
Elle (05:08):
Oh yes.
They've been there.
Nikki (05:09):
And they did do have the same thing.
Interesting.
You have to take all yourclothes off, but there you have
a nice pool.
Yeah.
And it's more of an outdoorindoor And we had a phenomenal
time there actually.
But we were, familiar with, oh,I guess you have to take all
your clothes off to go into theplayroom.
Elle (05:25):
Right.
Which, which was
Nikki (05:26):
fine.
Elle (05:26):
We went there about a month or so ago to visit our
friends and went to Secrets forone of the nights.
We actually didn't even make itinto the playroom.
We did walk around the BDSMroom.
Mm-hmm.
Which was very impressive.
We just have the crosses set upin a couple of little stations
or whatever.
And this was a whole room,probably about the size of the
(05:47):
whole downstairs.
I totally missed that.
Oh, yeah.
Oh no.
It just filled with differentstations and different things to
do.
It was actually, and they hadlike four or five people working
there standing around makingsure that everybody's.
Behaving?
No.
Yes, exactly.
It was I, I thought that wasreally cool.
Oh, interesting.
Yeah.
Okay.
Nikki (06:05):
So I've never tried like a real BDSM club or kink, just
that.
Mm-hmm.
It's always seems to be, there'sa room, there's an afterthought.
Is it Dungeon
Polly (06:13):
in Denver?
You can go to
Nikki (06:14):
Oh, I've never tried that.
Polly (06:15):
Oh,
Nikki (06:16):
I've never been.
No, I either, I've read aboutit.
Yeah.
But it is here it is here
Polly (06:20):
in Denver.
Nikki (06:22):
And then one of the other funniest things is we were
traveling internationally andwe.
Were in Prague.
Mm-hmm.
And we figured we will be fun tolike go to a club in a foreign
country.
So we went and we get there,found the thing online and.
Whatever.
You go in, you have to pay.
And the guy was very much like,pay now.
(06:43):
Pay now.
You're like, okay, okay.
We're paying now.
You go in.
Nobody was there.
It wasn't a soul in
Polly (06:51):
why he wanted your money to get to get of the night.
Nikki (06:54):
Wow.
They had a glory hole in thehead of this and the head of
that, and we were the only twoin the whole place, plus a
bartender.
Oh.
Was it just too
Elle (07:03):
early?
Nikki (07:03):
It was on a Tuesday night.
Oh, you know, we, were there youknow how it goes.
It just, we were several dayshere, several days there and
blah blah.
But it was, such a funny thingto laugh about now afterwards.
I mean, it's seems like so
Elle (07:14):
packed and we just wanna make sure we get your money.
Well, and then the other thingis cruises.
So we went on our first cruisethis last year.
You guys were on that with usand we loved it.
It's like desire where you'vegot all these sexy people in one
area and everybody, doing theirthing.
But the thing with, and we'vesaid this on another podcast,
was that a desire?
(07:36):
You, might meet someone greattonight, but they're going home
tomorrow.
Polly (07:39):
Right?
You
Elle (07:39):
know, everybody's coming and going at different times, or
you don't really know who you'regonna meet.
And there's the tops of what,300 people there.
Maybe.
Mm-hmm.
And you get on the cruise, andthis last one, it was so big and
it was 6,000 people andeverybody's there from the start
to finish.
You know, if you see somebodyand you connect, you exchange
information.
We wound up seeing the samepeople several times.
(08:01):
Mm-hmm.
So it wasn't such so big that welost them.
And then if you're not hittingit off with somebody, which
doesn't always happen.
You turn around and you go,there's another, yeah.
Right.
There's another 500.
5,998 people else out there andyou can find somebody and find
your people.
Nikki (08:18):
So I had never been on a cruise before at all.
I done.
I had not either.
Same thing.
So for me it was like the bigjump into cruising in general.
Yeah.
And I must say it is a lot offun.
My thing is only like how manydays is optimal.
Right.
So the one we went on, it wasseven days.
Seven days, yeah.
Seven days, six nights.
(08:39):
Mm-hmm.
And I thought it was a littlelong.
Mm-hmm.
At one point I was kind of like,I don't mind seeing some land.
Right.
I guess I'm more of a landperson than I knew.
But the, fun part is every nightthere's several activities.
There's theme nights, meet andgreets, meet and greets.
There's workshops, there's manybars to like connect or
whatever.
But I do think is what you'resaying is you are there for the
(09:01):
whole duration of the cruisealtogether.
Polly (09:03):
Mm-hmm.
Nikki (09:04):
And if you see a beautiful couple and it just
doesn't happen day one.
You still have five other daysto see if it's gonna work or
not.
Yeah.
Right.
And then conversely, there'sanother 3000 couples there that,
in case that one doesn't workout.
Yeah.
Right.
So it, it is a lot of fun, Iwould say.
We really enjoyed it because weknew quite a few people from
(09:26):
here Yes.
That were on the cruise.
Yeah.
So you have an instant group of,hey, you know, you can go out
for dinner or drink, or Hey, howare you?
You know, it's, you don't feellost because mm-hmm.
I mean, there was probably 20couples that we knew.
Oh, easily.
Yeah.
And there was a number of people
Elle (09:41):
from here that I never met.
Like they had posted a pictureon Facebook that we're all here
on this cruise.
And I'm like, I dunno, thesepeople,
Nikki (09:48):
yeah.
You know, I mean
Elle (09:49):
There's so many people, it's just, it's hard to.
No, everybody, but, but that,
Nikki (09:52):
but I, I do think that was one of the nice things,
right?
And so some of our close friendswere on it and that part is just
a lot of fun.
And then the other fun thing isthey have all these hot tubs and
you different pools at three inthe morning you can get food and
you go play and now I'm hungryso it's that part, is a lot of
fun.
Yeah.
Yeah.
We also have been the desire,the only thing I would say
(10:15):
there.
Is, I guess like with any of theresorts, same like a cruise.
It just depends who's there.
Yeah.
Right.
I mean, is it a total potluck?
Right.
Sure.
And then desire's a lot smaller.
Right?
Right.
So it's like you said, maybe 300people in total.
We really enjoyed it.
The dancing was great and thefood is phenomenal.
Polly (10:34):
Mm-hmm.
Nikki (10:34):
In desire.
I I thought that was really,really nice.
Polly (10:37):
Yeah.
Nikki (10:38):
Yeah.
But for the rest, I don't knowif I have a preference resort
over cruise or mm-hmm.
You know?
Yeah.
No, I mean, it's all super sexyand super fun.
Elle (10:45):
We're, we're just trying to experience as many things as
we can.
Mm-hmm.
While, like we said in the lastone, while we're still able to,
like when we first got in thelifestyle, we thought we got
three years stops, and now weare five years into it.
It's like, I think we gotanother couple years here, that
we can do this and we have sucha great.
Friendship community.
Mm-hmm.
That, we're all aging together,so you definitely have that
(11:07):
benefit.
Okay.
So we were talking earlierbefore we even got on the
recording and had someconversation about single men in
the lifestyle and bringing theminto.
Your fold and your safe spaceand what that's like.
(11:28):
And then we ventured intocreepers at the club.
So, but I'd say let's start withsingle men and our thoughts on
that.
And I don't know, Holly, if youhave No yeah, haven't
Polly (11:40):
we have not,
Elle (11:41):
And, experiences are hit and miss because there's a lot
of single men that, jay willtalk with them on Cassidy or on
SDC and communicate and try andset something up.
And then at the last minute,poof, all of a sudden they're
gone.
And, we're concerned.
Okay.
Are they actually not single andthey married and their wife
found out, or they found they'repart of the lifestyle, but they
(12:02):
didn't want anything to do withit and they backed out, And so
there's a, a level of honestythat we appreciate with a lot of
the single men that we do knowand that are upstanding.
Good guys that, for us it's big.
If you're at the ranch or ifyou're at a club or you're
somewhere and there's a themegoing on.
Dress for the theme, make astatement, go up and talk to
(12:26):
people.
And we were there the othernight and so many.
Single guys that come in, don'ttalk to anybody.
Mm-hmm.
Stand in the corner, godownstairs, just start creeping
around.
Oh.
And then we'd look, I justsegued into the creeping.
And how challenging that is.
We wanna bring them in, we wannaaccept them, but if they're not
(12:46):
making any effort to try andtalk to us and, and be a human,
then it's really difficult.
Polly (12:53):
I think it's really important if you're gonna come
into the lifestyle as a singleman.
That.
Yeah, you do.
You need to make that effort.
You need to go up and you needto talk to people.
But I think that what's reallyimportant is if you're a single
man and you're approaching acouple, you need to approach the
man first.
Mm-hmm.
Agreed.
Don't just walk, we say that ahundred percent.
Walk up single woman and belike, Hey baby, because you're
gorgeous.
Exactly.
Because that happens to me alot.
(13:14):
We single guys will just come upto me and my husband's standing
right there next to me and he'slike, hello, what about me?
Yeah.
Yeah.
And that's one of the really bigreasons that we haven't.
Dabbled in that side of it yet.
And another part of it, it justdid at this moment in time, it's
not really what we're lookingfor, I guess.
Mm-hmm.
That being said, I have metthere's three single guys that I
(13:37):
have met that are amazing, kind.
Elle (13:41):
Good humans.
Really,
Polly (13:42):
really good gentlemen.
Mm-hmm.
Really good humans are.
They're respectful, they'repolite.
They've never been pushy withme.
No.
And so my husband and I have hadthis conversation that, you
know, if and when we get to thepoint where that is an option
for us, I said these, and Isuppose him, I said, these are
the only three that I wouldentertain that option.
Yeah.
At this point in time.
And he's like, if it came up,he's like, I would be okay with
(14:05):
these three.
Right, because they'rerespectful to him.
They're respectful to me, andthey're just really good people.
Mm-hmm.
Nikki (14:11):
Yeah,
Polly (14:12):
I agree with that.
Nikki (14:13):
Well, I guess it comes down to communication again.
Totally.
Like everything in the lifestyleepisode we started out,
basically, one of our boundarieswas no single man, because it
just seemed, we weren't there.
It, it just didn't seem right.
We were on a cruise early onand.
The cruise line or theorganization that put the cruise
(14:35):
on.
I think they had invited Xamount of single men.
Oh.
Elle (14:39):
And that's not usual.
Nikki (14:40):
Well, it, it, I don't know exactly how it worked, but
it almost seemed like they wouldbe like swarming on the dance
floor mm-hmm.
And waiting to see if theycould, hunt to pray.
No, it was very odd.
Mm-hmm.
And, and so we saw that and wewere like, okay, that's just
odd.
That's not respectful.
That's not what you want.
Yeah.
And then we sort of, ventured onour journey through the
(15:03):
lifestyle, and then we foundthat it's really hard making
that four-way connection.
Right.
Right.
It's, and then sometimes, you doplay and, not that you're taking
one for the team, but maybe theone couple is having a little
bit more fun than the other, theother couple.
Sure.
And that, and that happens,right?
Mm-hmm.
It's not all mm-hmm.
Stars and, and, fireworks everytime for all four people.
(15:24):
And so then we were sort ofgetting into this thing like,
well, a lot of times it's in mypartner's favor.
Was just going great, goinggreat.
And I was kinda like, well, andnot only sexually, it was also
just the meet and greets, drinksand dinner.
It just, every time I fell flatand I'm like, no, not it, not
it, not it.
And then my partner was kindalike, well, geez, maybe we
(15:46):
should revisit the whole thingwith a single male because.
Then you get a lot moreattention from that single male
because they need to work forit.
Right?
Right.
They, they can't just sit thereat dinner and talk about, sports
or whatever.
They really have to win youover.
They have to win me over.
So they just have to, work forit.
So we really recently justventured into that.
(16:10):
And definite ground rules Idon't communicate with, with any
of the guys.
Mm-hmm.
My partner does.
And no texting, no nothing.
And and I'm absolutely fine withthat, but we have a lot of good
giggles.
Like, what do you think aboutthis?
What do you think about that?
We look at all the picturestogether and all that.
Mm-hmm.
And I guess that's where thewhole dick pic thing came in,
which we need to elaborate onlater.
(16:31):
Yeah.
Yeah.
But I have to say, good segue,we were super lucky to find a
really great gentleman who is inour age range.
'cause that was important to me.
Right.
I was not interested in a youngbuck who's 20?
Nope.
it just turned me off.
My, my son's
Elle (16:50):
32, that's like my top, and, and that's still very low
for me.
So
Nikki (16:55):
even that I just wanted to be somebody.
Like me or like us whoappreciate where we are in life,
and you have something to talkabout together.
And it's not just weird andawkward.
Because there's, so much ofthat.
You get all these weird emailslike, oh yeah, you could be my
mom.
It's like, oh, oh, okay, great.
That's the quickest way to thebottom file.
So, we had this wonderfulexperience and it was very
(17:18):
rewarding and fun, and it workedout great.
But so far it's been our onlyone.
And now we're kind of at thatthought process well, is that a
one and done?
Is that we'll see this gentlemanmore often, do we wanna see
somebody else?
And we really haven't figuredthat out.
We're just digesting and I'malso kinda like, there's so many
(17:39):
different things you can do inthe lifestyle.
You don't have to only go forthe same, or only this or only
that.
So, you know, try it all.
It's a beautiful addition to thelineup.
Elle (17:47):
Mm-hmm.
Well, I think, it depends onthat person, like.
We have, Cassidy does a thing,and I think it's in other cities
too, where there's a girlsuncorked.
Yeah.
And it's, and we've all been tothat.
Mm-hmm.
And love that.
And I kind of feel like this isa little bit of that.
But it's women getting together,not a play party.
And you spend time talking andsocializing, building those
(18:07):
relationships, thosefriendships, and then everybody
sits around and then we talkabout how we got in the
lifestyle and what it means tous.
And, I've always.
Really pushed women who are newin the lifestyle to go to those
meetings because it gives theman opportunity to hear
everybody's story.
Mm-hmm.
Realize everybody's in adifferent place.
That everybody's looking forsomething different, and so that
(18:27):
they don't feel like, oh, I'mnot as, advanced as you or like
that.
It's like, no, you don't evenhave to be, you could be in this
for three years and you've beenwith one other couple, mm-hmm.
But you like the vibe or youdon't play with anybody,
everything goes.
But the guys will meet, like,and drop the women off, and then
they go to a bar and mm-hmm.
And do guys untapped.
And Jay was at one and, there'sprobably seven or eight guys
(18:52):
that were sitting there, and asingle gentleman came up
probably mid fifties.
So our and sat down, he said,he's like, Hey, is this, that
guy's group for, you know, and,and jay's like, yeah sit down,
let's talk.
He's like, okay, well I'm kindof new to this.
He's like, all right.
And so Jay gave him his sagewords of advice, when you're
meeting somebody.
(19:13):
Greet the gentleman first, butthe compliment to him about his
wife, make it about, connect himinto there.
If there's a theme, wearsomething.
It's a good conversationstarter.
Oh my gosh, I love that hat.
That looks great.
People will talk to you.
We went to a house party where aguy showed up.
It was a Valentine's Day and itwas a tutu and a corset and, and
(19:35):
combat boots, and, he was.
Of a shorter stature, but thehead of the party, he was
seriously.
And then later on we saw himplaying with another couple.
It's like, you go, that was howyou do it.
So he is telling him thesethings of how to be a good
single guy and to get somewhereand the lifestyle.
And the guy turns and looks athim and goes, yeah, I'm too old
(19:57):
for that.
I don't need to work that hard.
Polly (19:59):
Bye.
Okay,
Elle (20:01):
well then you're probably done here because.
We all are having to work tosome degree to make these things
happen so you're not exempt justbecause you have a penis.
So anyway, that was my 2 centsstory.
But that does kind of roll intowhat we were gonna talk about
too is creepers where you're ata club or you're at a party and
(20:23):
it's generally the singlegentleman.
Mm-hmm.
And that are, walking around andthey are not.
Talking to anybody, and they'redropping a lot of money to go
into a club.
Mm-hmm.
Statement.
Mm-hmm.
I mean, they are really are.
And to not try to make anycommunication with someone.
And Jay will always try to reachout to somebody at least once
when they're there and they looknew.
(20:44):
But then to go downstairs whereeverybody's playing.
So we were at the ranch a coupleof Wednesdays ago.
We go and we'll have dinner.
It kind of starts our weekendoff and, have a nice.
Dinner together, wonderful steakdinner.
And then we might go downstairsand play for a little while.
And this guy was walking aroundand it was just, it was
(21:06):
invasive, you know?
And at one point we had finishedplaying and there's a co-ed
bathroom downstairs, and I waswalking to it naked.
And when I came out of the stallat the end of the hallway of the
bathroom, it's very open.
There's a sofa and thisgentleman was just sitting
there.
There's no one else around, andjust him watching me.
(21:29):
Come out of the bathroom nakedand I'm washing my hands
thinking to myself, how am Igonna get past this?
I don't normally feeluncomfortable at the club.
And I was very uncomfortable towalk by this guy.
And I heard someone saysomething to him like, Hey dude,
you know, you're creeping somepeople out.
Turns out it was Jay.
He had seen him over there.
There was another gal, it washer first night.
(21:51):
She was feeling uncomfortablebecause he was just, looking in
when he shouldn't.
And he was just.
Not respectful of people's spaceand privacy, and so we were
getting dressed and we couldhear him talking with Richard,
the attendant downstairs, and hewas giving pushback.
And, and Richard was like, Heydude, you're making some women
(22:11):
feel uncomfortable.
You need to watch what you'redoing.
And he's pushing back andsaying, well, what was it that
guy, I'll talk to him, blah,blah.
And then his voice kept raising.
And then Richard was like, no,that's not how this is gonna go.
And so we went upstairs, got themanager, sent him down, and, and
that guy was escorted out andwill not be back.
(22:32):
So just because you pay a wholebunch of money, you don't get
the right.
To just insert yourself whereveryou want.
Mm-hmm.
I guess is my message.
Polly (22:39):
Absolutely.
And you have to be respectful.
We had an instance, severalmonths ago where we were
downstairs and I was gettingflogged.
And this gentleman, came up tomy husband and introduced
himself and said, he was new,he'd never been there before.
And then his next question outof his mouth is, how's the dude
get laid around here?
And my husband looked at me.
He goes, not by asking thatquestion, and so you just, you
gotta be respectful and you haveto be polite and.
(23:02):
Don't get too close for comfort.
It's not a free for all.
Elle (23:07):
Yeah.
This isn't a peep show.
No.
Mm-hmm.
I mean it is, but it's not, keepit a distance.
Nikki (23:11):
And I think the other thing is, there's this universal
code of, hey, if the curtainsare closed in a playroom, that
means people do not wanna bewatched.
Mm-hmm.
If they're open, then they don'thave an issue with it.
Mm-hmm.
Some clubs have little velvetropes.
I don't know if you've seen it.
So it's kinda interesting.
So you can leave the curtainsopen and then there's a velvet
rope and you can close it,meaning you can watch but not
(23:31):
come in.
Polly (23:32):
Mm-hmm.
Nikki (23:32):
Seems fair.
Or the velvet rope is down andthe curtains are open.
So then it's like you may comein, but you still gotta ask.
Absolutely.
Absolutely.
But, it is interesting how clubscome up with various traffic
signs to sort of direct, right?
Mm-hmm.
But then it's also onto thesesingle males to then, respect
that.
Mm-hmm.
And be knowledgeable about, Hey,this is the way it goes.
(23:55):
And don't just stand there.
Yeah.
Because that's, one of thethings we were playing once in
the summer last year and then wewere talking about it before and
all of a sudden there's somebodystanding there like half a foot
away.
Yeah.
Personal space.
And we had the same a desire.
Yeah.
We were playing together outsideunder the stars.
It was a beautiful night.
And you look over and there'ssomebody seriously like half a
foot away and alone and justlike weirdly staring.
(24:18):
Mm-hmm.
It's just weird, there is thatdifference between voyeurism and
being creepy.
And being creepy.
Yes.
Yeah.
There, you know, fine line.
Mm-hmm.
Elle (24:27):
Which then I think rolls us right into unsolicited dick
pics.
Polly (24:34):
I don't know about you, but I solicit them though.
Well, and that fine, I do not,well, I don't want'em,
Nikki (24:41):
I, guess for me it's more as a female, if you are on an
app like Cassidy or on a day,like any dating app probably, I
am not interested in seeing 20pictures of your day.
Right.
You could put on one like nicelighting, if you need to
highlight the fact that, I goteight inches and blah, blah.
(25:01):
Right?
I mean it's, there's always thatcomment, but I'd rather see
like, Hey, this is me.
Doing soccer.
This is me at the bar.
This is me.
Look at me.
I'm, I'm kayaking.
Yeah.
Or whatever.
That's more.
And then communicating
Elle (25:13):
and showing me you have a brain.
Yes.
Yes.
And you're intelligent andyou'll make me laugh and we can
have a conversation.
'cause
Nikki (25:19):
instead of like 20 dick pics, like just, okay, Monday,
Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday.
And it's like, really what?
I don't, I don't,
Polly (25:25):
yeah.
Because I don't enjoy it.
I don't care how big your dickis, if you're an asshole or if,
and if you can't carry on aconversation.
Nothing's gonna happen anyway.
Nothing's gonna happen.
Nikki (25:34):
I also find it's almost a little creepy, because I don't
send pictures of my vi jj, youknow, I mean mm-hmm.
If there's a picture that I'm inbed or whatever, it's just part
of the total picture.
Right.
Right.
But not just like, focus on mycrotch, like, here look at my
crotch.
Right.
It's like, and then,
Elle (25:51):
hey again, don't wanna yuck a yum.
Somebody else might like that.
That's fine.
Absolutely.
Absolutely.
But I think in general, peoplewould rather have a little bit
of a connection with somebodybefore you start getting those.
Show us who you
Nikki (26:02):
are.
Yeah.
Show us who you are.
And just sending a dick picdoesn't show me anything.
Elle (26:06):
Mm-hmm.
Exactly.
Mm-hmm.
No.
Okay.
So then what are some of the bigsurprises that you have found
going through, the lifestyle,things that you went, oh, I had
no idea that it was gonna bethat way.
Polly (26:22):
I have several the first being that when I went to the
club for the first time, like I,in my head, imagine like the
craziest, wildest.
Orgy
Elle (26:32):
orgy
Polly (26:33):
with just, dicks flying everywhere, come on the walls,
just like this giant, massivesex fest, which is not at all
what it was.
Secondly, I am shocked that Ihave met some of my very closest
friends to this.
Yes.
And wasn't at all what I wasanticipating.
(26:53):
The people are so genuine.
Like, there's no pre pretense.
Pretense pre Mm.
Yeah.
There's none of that.
Still some, there's still somecliqueiness.
Sure.
To some extent.
But for the most part, thepeople I've met are kind,
they're real, they're genuine.
Mm-hmm.
They are, committed to theirpartners mm-hmm.
And to their families.
(27:13):
And it's not just a bunch ofbroken souls trying to fix a
damaged marriage.
Right.
Some are young, some are old.
Mm-hmm.
Some of the older ones havereally surprised me because
mm-hmm.
Elle (27:25):
You're still
Polly (27:25):
kicking.
Good for you.
I was like, good for you.
I hope I'm still doing that whenI'm 85.
Yeah.
And it's just been a greatexperience overall for us.
Mm-hmm.
Nikki (27:32):
Mm-hmm.
I would say the same.
It's been an absolute greatexperience.
One of the things that surprisedme probably the most is you do
go on a journey.
Yes.
Right?
You start off and, oh, I'm nevergonna do that
Polly (27:45):
Uhhuh,
Nikki (27:45):
or I'm, I've never anticipated that.
I might like it.
And then you see it and thenyou're kind of like, well
actually this is really fun.
That's just like, it might befun.
I wanna try that.
And then also having theopportunity to be able to try
it.
Mm-hmm.
You can almost make any sexualfantasy you have come alive if
you want to.
Mm-hmm.
And that is one of thoseeye-opening things.
And at the same time, I feelvery unjudged by others.
(28:09):
Yes.
Right.
You can talk about it, and a lotof people are very open and you
can talk about your wildestfantasies, and I've never really
had it that anybody's kind oflike you say what?
Polly (28:18):
Mm-hmm.
Nikki (28:19):
So that is one of the surprising thing.
And then on the flip side, andwe talked about it earlier, I am
somewhat surprised as in howBDSM and kink is.
Not fully accepted by theswingers.
'cause a lot of swingers arestill deep down vanilla,
Elle (28:36):
right?
And actually like if you
Nikki (28:37):
go down the rabbit hole of of of more BDSM and more
flogging and more kink.
It's just that there is someeyebrow raising.
Elle (28:46):
Right.
And that's a good segue.
I wanted to touch base on thatbecause I know you and your
partner mm-hmm.
Are into the kink and the bdsmmm-hmm.
As well as swinging, which isunusual to have somebody who's
into both, but finds thatbalance and finds out where it
works and at what point wouldyou tell us a little bit more
about what.
(29:06):
You get out of the kink in theBDSM mm-hmm.
And, things that you wish peopleunderstood about it that might
be fallacies out there.
Nikki (29:15):
Mm-hmm.
I think you are into BDSM orkink if pain gives you pleasure.
I don't know if that makessense, but for me, not pain like
injuring, like you're gonna cutmy leg off.
Right.
You're not bleeding Exactly.
But a slap, a scratch aflogging, it heightens your
senses.
(29:35):
Mm-hmm.
And it just turns beyond wildly.
Polly (29:39):
Mm-hmm.
Nikki (29:39):
And it's also the dominant submissive undertone
that whoever is being flogged, Iguess is more submissive and the
whole dominance thing.
But.
What people don't understand isA, we mainly do it together at
home.
Elle (29:55):
Right,
Nikki (29:55):
right.
It's not, is it a
Elle (29:56):
group play?
Nikki (29:57):
It's not a group play.
If I'm at a at a house party,I'm not gonna go buck wild and
do it.
It's just really something wehave as a couple.
Polly (30:06):
Mm-hmm.
Nikki (30:07):
And also because it's probably a little bit more
equipment and more, yeah.
Accessories, items to bringaccessories and so on.
But then also it's kind of like.
I I'm not gonna force it ontoyou.
That's one of the reactions wehad once we were at a party and
somebody had all these floggersout,
Polly (30:24):
I was at that party.
Nikki (30:25):
Right?
And, and we were,, it wassomewhat odd.
We're all having fun and there'sthis beautiful couch and these
floggers are laying there,right?
And it was kind of veryinviting.
And my partner and I were bothkinda like, see this, right?
They're, they're, they're notthere for decoration, they're
there for having someone.
We should use them.
Yeah.
So we did, and that raisedeyebrows.
(30:48):
At one point the host came andlike, please stop.
People have complained.
Why?
Why did they Well, I
Polly (30:53):
think it was just people were just uncomfortable.
They were uncomfortable.
Yeah.
They were uncomfortable.
It was just the wrong crowd forit.
It was the wrong crowd.
Right.
It's not, something that I thinkthat group of people.
Was used to seeing at at all.
Right?
Yeah.
At all.
So I think you were just, but
Nikki (31:04):
it made me feel so sad because Yeah.
You know, sorry, it made you
Polly (31:08):
feel like that.
Nikki (31:08):
Well, because it's kind of like you are opening yourself
up and you're showing what youlike.
You're being vulnerable.
Yeah.
And then, you get totally shutdown they don't even have the
decency to come on over and belike, Hey, not the time, they
went to complain.
It's like complaining to theprincipal.
Mm-hmm.
Joey ate my lunch.
Right.
It was a really weird experienceand it really taught us we
(31:31):
really have to be more carefulas in your target audience.
Right.
And it's somewhat unfair is notthe right word, but it's
somewhat, yeah.
Not something you expect in thelifestyle.
Right.
You expect openness foreverything.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And that's with kink and BDSM, Iwould say some people
absolutely.
But there's many that areuncomfortable.
Elle (31:50):
And the whole point of the lifestyle is to be open and
accepting.
Mm-hmm.
You don't have to wanna do it,you don't have to need that
either.
Well, and, but you should neveryuck somebody else's.
Yum.
Nikki (32:02):
Right.
But also on top of that is theyhave to realize.
Just because I like it, I'm notgonna force it on you.
Yeah.
Elle (32:09):
Right.
And, and
Nikki (32:09):
that is the thing with what happened during that party
that people were like, don't hitme.
There was one woman and it waskinda like, we're not, not
happening.
Yeah.
It was so outta context.
And it was so unpleasant that ittook us a long time to then say,
okay, well we'll do this inpublic.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
Totally understandable.
And kink I guess is more.
Also more at home.
(32:30):
I would would say personal than,really like in group play.
Elle (32:33):
And it's nice.
The ranch does on the thirdFridays of every month mm-hmm.
Have a kink night, which is kindof kink light and, but it gives
an opportunity for people todress a little bit, a little
dirtier.
Yeah.
Yep.
And they'll have differentpeople there.
There's some very skilled.
Floss that come and, showpeople, they want you to know
the proper way to do that.
(32:53):
And if you wanna experience,this is what it's gonna feel
like.
And then they keep in touch withyou or they'll have the
electricity.
Mm-hmm.
And you can try that.
Or, there's hot rocks or there'sflames.
A lot of people really like theflames or they're curious and
the hot wax.
And so you wouldn't normallyexperiment with something like
that except in that situation.
Mm-hmm.
It's light, but it is a greatopportunity for people just to
(33:17):
dip a toe in, have a more ofunderstanding for it, and to
have an appreciation for it,whether they decide to do
anything with it or not.
Nikki (33:23):
Have you guys tried the wand, the electric wand?
I
Elle (33:26):
have tried the electric wand.
It's our,
Nikki (33:28):
is that the velvet
Elle (33:29):
wand?
No, it's not electricity.
It's called the violetelectricity.
Violet one.
The violet one.
Violet one, yeah.
Nikki (33:33):
Yeah.
You can turn it up, dial it upor down, and you get this
electrical current.
Yeah.
And so one time we were at ahouse party and I think we
worked with like eight peopleand if you hold onto each other
it's, it's like an elementaryschool
Elle (33:47):
science projects.
Awesome.
Nikki (33:48):
It was so much fun.
And then we were starting to zapvaginas and, and breasts and
dicks.
It was like so funny and at onepoint everybody from the kitchen
came upstairs'cause my partnerwas like, squealing from, from
delight, from these little zapsof electricity.
It was so much fun.
Oh, that's funny.
It was really funny.
Yeah.
Elle (34:06):
Well, thank you for sharing that part of your life
with us.
Mm-hmm.
A part of.
Your life, Polly is, is verymuch been your journey with
women and your appreciation forit and wanting to explore that
more and come across more women.
And I'd just like you to take amoment and talk to us.
There's an organization that youbelong to that is very dear to
(34:29):
your heart, and I just wanted togive you an opportunity to talk
about it because there may beother women out there that are
looking for something like this.
Polly (34:37):
Mm-hmm.
Thank you.
I appreciate the opportunity totalk about it.
So.
When I first got started in thelifestyle, I, was looking to
connect with women and there wasa woman who had a profile on
Cassidy and she said she was,bisexual and if you're looking
to meet more bisexual women orlearn more about this, you
should check out thisorganization called The Skirt
Club.
And I had never heard about it.
(34:58):
And so I did a little bit ofresearch and the Skirt Club is
based in the uk It is a paidmembership club for women.
Who are bisexual, bi curious andthey need to be feminine
presenting.
Mm-hmm.
Because it's very much touchinginto your deep feminine parts of
your body.
And so you have to go through apretty rigorous application
(35:19):
process, submit photographs, andyou're either accepted or you're
denied.
It's an internationalorganization, they've got
branches all over the world, andit's a great way to meet other
women who have similarinterests.
To you as far as theirsexuality.
Sometimes we just go out andhave cocktails.
Sometimes we'll go paddleboarding or to a comedy show.
(35:40):
Sometimes we have what we callminiskirt parties where, we'll
go out and go see a show and getdrinks and then, go back to a
hotel room for, an hour or twoand maybe there's some light
making out, some kissing, somepetting.
Sometimes there's a little bitmore.
But then they also have what arecalled signature.
Skirt club parties, they're notall night long, but they last
(36:00):
until about two o'clock in themorning.
And it is specifically a sexparty for women.
And you go in and there'sappetizers, dessert, champagne.
Always have snacks.
Always have snacks.
There's usually entertainment.
So we've had like a burlesquedancer come in, oh, that fun.
Do a show for us.
And then it leads into theplaytime part of the evening
where, it's usually a penthouseshotel room, private home villa,
(36:24):
that kind of situation thatgives women the opportunity to
explore the more sexual side ofa relationship with another
woman.
They do weekend getaways,different international cities.
Wow.
And it's just, it's a great wayto meet women.
They focus a lot on embracingyour sexuality, learning about
yourself, how to pleasureyourself, how.
(36:44):
To pleasure another woman,sexual wellness.
We've done yoni egg workshopstalking, about how to,
strengthen your pelvic musclespleasure mapping, figuring out,
what pleases you, how to pleasesomebody else, and it's just
been a really great experience.
Elle (37:00):
Well, good.
And I noticed,'cause I went toone of the meet and greets with
you and it wasn't a bunch oflifestyle women.
No, no.
I was, I realized that early on,so I'm like, oh, I can't talk as
freely, but then you came overand you're talking about it and
I'm like, oh, okay.
Polly (37:15):
Yeah, most of the women there, I mean, there's a wide
variety of ages.
Most of'em are mid twenties.
I'm definitely on the older endof the spectrum.
Most of them are married.
A lot of them have kids and,their husbands, I think most of
their husbands know about it.
I don't, I haven't met anybodyyet whose husband doesn't know
that they're, doing this.
And it was just a great way tobuild,, a broader network of
(37:37):
similarly minded women who areinterested in exploring that
side of their sexuality.
Elle (37:43):
I fully support anything that does that, you know?
Mm-hmm.
For anybody in their sexualityto be in an open environment
where it's accepted mm-hmm.
And you're not feeling the shameand you can talk about it with
other people and, work throughanything that you've got going
on.
Nikki (38:00):
Yeah.
And I guess have some fun at thesame time.
Well, there's that too.
Hopefully there's themes to allof the events, right.
And so
Polly (38:06):
there's lots of times, we did an event an over a.
It was, we did actually aweekend play party last year and
it was let them eat cake.
That was the mean.
And so we all dressed up likeMaria Antoinette.
And so each of the parties has areally distinct, unique theme.
They do fun pool parties.
We're gonna do a cooking classlater this summer.
So just all sorts of differentfun things.
(38:27):
And there's always a way to makeyour party a little bit sexier.
So the cooking class we're gonnado is gonna be topless.
Hey, I like that.
Can't do that.
I heard
Nikki (38:35):
about a party where where as long as there's no display
aprons.
Polly (38:38):
That's gonna be it.
Okay.
Yep.
Yep.
All right.
Everybody's gonna wear well,they can wear pants if they want
to, but you don't have to.
Don't not
Elle (38:44):
required.
Everybody's gonna get an apronas long as you're not deep
frying something.
No.
There'll be no deep frying.
Well, excellent.
Well, is there anything elsethat you guys wanna talk about?
That was kind of our list thatwe put together.
I really appreciate the timethat you guys have taken today.
Mm-hmm.
Polly (39:00):
No, I just think that it's important that people know
that people that are in thelifestyle, they're not freaks,
they're not sexual deviants.
Yeah.
They're not gonna hurt you.
They're not gonna come into yourlife and disrupt your way of
living.
It's a way that can consentingadults.
Yes, can explore different partsof their sexuality and I think
it's healthy.
Mm-hmm.
You know, especially when,couples are doing it together.
(39:22):
Mm-hmm.
It has brought my husband and Icloser together.
We tried things that neither ofus thought that we would or
could.
Get to a point where we couldtry.
Mm-hmm.
And it has done nothing but makeour relationship stronger.
So, I'm just sad we didn't doit, 20 years ago.
Elle (39:40):
Yeah.
I'd be a different personthough, because the clock's
ticking.
Polly (39:43):
Yeah.
I would've been a very differentperson 20 years ago.
And it's nice now doing this, atan, age where.
I have the maturity and thewisdom and the comfort in my own
skin.
Yeah.
And I think that's kind of oneof the, going back to one of the
surprises is that I'm morecomfortable in my own skin than
I've ever been in my life.
Yes.
It has given me confidence toask for what I want in bed.
(40:04):
Yep.
And to be able to say, I am notjust here.
For your pleasure.
Mm-hmm.
I deserve pleasure out of ittoo.
And I'm going to take thatpleasure, uhhuh, and, and I'm
gonna tell you what I need tomake that happen.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
And so it's just been a greatexperience for me.
Nikki (40:20):
Lovely.
Yeah.
And I think for us it's beenlike talk, talk, talk.
Communication.
Communication.
Mm-hmm.
I think in a, vanillarelationship, it's really easy
to just gloss over things and,everything is just going it's
merry way.
And here you have so many new,unexpected experiences that you
have to work through.
(40:41):
Mm-hmm.
See if you want to and like, orit's, it's also very.
Deep in your soul with yoursensuality.
Are you okay with this or not?
The communication part isphenomenal how much that has
increased, and then also howthat then helps the general
lifestyle.
Yeah.
It's, really cool in that sense.
Elle (41:00):
Yeah.
Well, ladies, I reallyappreciate you spending all this
time with me today, especiallysince we did the one episode.
And didn't hit the recordbutton, but hey, live and learn
and Tramp will be back and hecan help me out with that next
time.
But again, just like lastepisode.
That was a big fat ask meanything and we talked about a
(41:22):
lot of things and so just wantedto thank everybody who listens
and coming on this journey withus and asking questions for
later that we can answer anyideas for podcast episodes and
topics that we can talk about.
Pretty much an open book.
So tramp and I are lookingforward to, maybe doing some
(41:44):
more episodes about.
Sexual adventures and fun stuffthat's going on in our lives,
and we just really love how thisis evolving.
So until next time, I'm Elle, besexy, be confident
Polly (41:58):
and be unapologetic.
I.
Welcome back to Unapologetic Swingers.
I'm Al and today we're doingpart two of our very special
episode.
The All Girls Show.
Why Tramp is off having his ownadventures in Mexico.
So I have brought together twoof my very favorite women and
(00:23):
we've been going through a listof questions and then creating
our own as we go.
And there was definitely toomuch to talk about the first
time around.
So.
We decided that we would hit itfor a second time and cover a
few more topics'cause we're justhaving such a great time and the
mimosas are flowing and life isgood.
(00:44):
So, I'd like to welcome Nikkiand Polly and maybe if you could
just give me a, quick rundown ofwho you are and what you guys
like.
And we don't have to do thewhole, if you wanna know how
they got in the lifestyle, youcan listen to the first part of
episode 21, but just to kind ofintroduce them for a moment.
Nikki (01:02):
Okay.
Hi everybody.
I'm Nikki in the lifestyle forabout two years now.
Bisexual and liking a lot ofconstellations and events and so
far, having a great time.
Polly (01:16):
Hey everyone.
I'm Polly.
I've also been in the lifestylefor about two years and I'm also
bi.
Just exploring new things,meeting new people, and having
some really fun experiences.
Elle (01:27):
Oh, lovely, lovely.
Okay, so, where we left offwanted to talk about our
thoughts on resorts, clubs,cruises different venues in
which we meet people big.
Groups of sexy, fun people andwhat we like and maybe what
we're we don't like, if that'sthere.
Just to talk about real quick,
Polly (01:49):
I love going to the clubs.
And I'm so spoiled living hereand getting to go to Scarlet
Ranch because Yep.
From everybody that I havetalked to that's gone to clubs
all around the world, the ranchis the best that there is.
And so.
In my limited experience, I'mgonna say a thousand percent.
Yes, I agree with that.
We have been to two other clubs.
(02:10):
We went to one club in Dallasand there were four single men
and nobody else.
Oh.
And I looked at my husband and Iwas like, Nope.
Not stay.
This is not the place for us.
And then more recently we wentto a club in Florida and it was
really fun.
It was a fun vibe.
It was a fun theme night.
It was men's button downsunbuttoned.
(02:31):
Mm.
And so I've done that.
And what was, where was theclub?
What was it?
It was in Fort Lauderdale.
It was trap Trapes.
Okay.
I've heard good things aboutTrap.
I liked, I've been there too.
And, and it was nice it's notthe ranch.
Nope.
And so I did think there weresome oddities about it.
But it was a nice experience togo someplace new and see what
else was out there.
I have not been.
On a cruise.
We haven't gone to a resort yet,but we are going to be going to
(02:53):
desire for the first time thisyear.
Elle (02:55):
Oh.
I think you're gonna enjoy it.
It's like the ranch on Sunday.
Sunday, but you actually get apool.
That's awesome.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It'll be great.
You're gonna have a good time.
You'll meet all sorts of people.
You'll find that some peoplethat are there are, you have to
ask questions because they mightbe just, they like to be naked.
Yeah.
Or they like to watch or theylike to be watched.
So it's not an assumption thatsomebody is lifestyle and ready
(03:16):
to get down exactly.
And boogie.
But it's a great free place tobe.
Nikki (03:20):
Nikki?
So, we like to go to clubs too,where we're members at the
ranch.
Mm-hmm.
We do like the, when we travel.
See if there's anything in thetown for sure.
Where we end up to see is therea club, is there not, is there
any activity?
So we've been to trapeze in FortLauderdale.
(03:41):
Really enjoyed it.
After the ranch, one of myfavorites.
Oh, for good things.
It's, it's fun.
It's sexy.
But then the funny thing is theFlorida laws are different.
You're not allowed to undress onthe dance floor.
There's no nudity.
If you go in, as a man, it'scollar and long pants.
Mm-hmm.
And then the kicker for me wasif you go to the playroom, you
(04:03):
have to take all your clothesoff.
Right?
Just wear a towel, put a towel.
Put all your clothes away in awalker, no shoes, nothing.
And then you go buck naked.
You are supposed to go afterthese like doors and you have no
idea what's there.
Yeah, exactly.
And it's the weirdestexperience.
It was, I guess at the ranch youcan wander around and it's nice.
You can get also comfortablewith the idea.
(04:25):
Right, right.
You know, is a sexy, you go downsexy and look and watch.
Exactly.
Am I comfortable?
It's much more.
Polly (04:31):
At your own pace?
Or is it trape?
Like you just jump in.
Nikki (04:34):
Yeah.
You don't go past the doors ifyou, if you have clothes on.
Polly (04:37):
Yep.
And you are just
Nikki (04:38):
kinda like, what?
Mm-hmm.
So
Polly (04:40):
that was the experience.
There's no like, at least at theranch, you know where you've got
the little cabanas where you canclose the curtains and you can
have some sort of privacy if youwant it.
Whereas at trapeze it's just onegiant room with a bunch of
Nikki (04:52):
beds,
Polly (04:52):
vinyl covered beds, no sheets.
Like it was just.
That part of it was odd.
Nikki (04:58):
It's just different, let's put it that way.
It's just different.
It's different.
But the interesting thing isbecause you're in a different
state, that they do have certainlaws apparently.
Right.
'cause then we went to anotherclub in Orlando Secrets.
Elle (05:08):
Oh yes.
They've been there.
Nikki (05:09):
And they did do have the same thing.
Interesting.
You have to take all yourclothes off, but there you have
a nice pool.
Yeah.
And it's more of an outdoorindoor And we had a phenomenal
time there actually.
But we were, familiar with, oh,I guess you have to take all
your clothes off to go into theplayroom.
Elle (05:25):
Right.
Which, which was
Nikki (05:26):
fine.
Elle (05:26):
We went there about a month or so ago to visit our
friends and went to Secrets forone of the nights.
We actually didn't even make itinto the playroom.
We did walk around the BDSMroom.
Mm-hmm.
Which was very impressive.
We just have the crosses set upin a couple of little stations
or whatever.
And this was a whole room,probably about the size of the
(05:47):
whole downstairs.
I totally missed that.
Oh, yeah.
Oh no.
It just filled with differentstations and different things to
do.
It was actually, and they hadlike four or five people working
there standing around makingsure that everybody's.
Behaving?
No.
Yes, exactly.
It was I, I thought that wasreally cool.
Oh, interesting.
Yeah.
Okay.
Nikki (06:05):
So I've never tried like a real BDSM club or kink, just
that.
Mm-hmm.
It's always seems to be, there'sa room, there's an afterthought.
Is it Dungeon
Polly (06:13):
in Denver?
You can go to
Nikki (06:14):
Oh, I've never tried that.
Polly (06:15):
Oh,
Nikki (06:16):
I've never been.
No, I either, I've read aboutit.
Yeah.
But it is here it is here
Polly (06:20):
in Denver.
Nikki (06:22):
And then one of the other funniest things is we were
traveling internationally andwe.
Were in Prague.
Mm-hmm.
And we figured we will be fun tolike go to a club in a foreign
country.
So we went and we get there,found the thing online and.
Whatever.
You go in, you have to pay.
And the guy was very much like,pay now.
(06:43):
Pay now.
You're like, okay, okay.
We're paying now.
You go in.
Nobody was there.
It wasn't a soul in
Polly (06:51):
why he wanted your money to get to get of the night.
Nikki (06:54):
Wow.
They had a glory hole in thehead of this and the head of
that, and we were the only twoin the whole place, plus a
bartender.
Oh.
Was it just too
Elle (07:03):
early?
Nikki (07:03):
It was on a Tuesday night.
Oh, you know, we, were there youknow how it goes.
It just, we were several dayshere, several days there and
blah blah.
But it was, such a funny thingto laugh about now afterwards.
I mean, it's seems like so
Elle (07:14):
packed and we just wanna make sure we get your money.
Well, and then the other thingis cruises.
So we went on our first cruisethis last year.
You guys were on that with usand we loved it.
It's like desire where you'vegot all these sexy people in one
area and everybody, doing theirthing.
But the thing with, and we'vesaid this on another podcast,
was that a desire?
(07:36):
You, might meet someone greattonight, but they're going home
tomorrow.
Polly (07:39):
Right?
You
Elle (07:39):
know, everybody's coming and going at different times, or
you don't really know who you'regonna meet.
And there's the tops of what,300 people there.
Maybe.
Mm-hmm.
And you get on the cruise, andthis last one, it was so big and
it was 6,000 people andeverybody's there from the start
to finish.
You know, if you see somebodyand you connect, you exchange
information.
We wound up seeing the samepeople several times.
(08:01):
Mm-hmm.
So it wasn't such so big that welost them.
And then if you're not hittingit off with somebody, which
doesn't always happen.
You turn around and you go,there's another, yeah.
Right.
There's another 500.
5,998 people else out there andyou can find somebody and find
your people.
Nikki (08:18):
So I had never been on a cruise before at all.
I done.
I had not either.
Same thing.
So for me it was like the bigjump into cruising in general.
Yeah.
And I must say it is a lot offun.
My thing is only like how manydays is optimal.
Right.
So the one we went on, it wasseven days.
Seven days, yeah.
Seven days, six nights.
(08:39):
Mm-hmm.
And I thought it was a littlelong.
Mm-hmm.
At one point I was kind of like,I don't mind seeing some land.
Right.
I guess I'm more of a landperson than I knew.
But the, fun part is every nightthere's several activities.
There's theme nights, meet andgreets, meet and greets.
There's workshops, there's manybars to like connect or
whatever.
But I do think is what you'resaying is you are there for the
(09:01):
whole duration of the cruisealtogether.
Polly (09:03):
Mm-hmm.
Nikki (09:04):
And if you see a beautiful couple and it just
doesn't happen day one.
You still have five other daysto see if it's gonna work or
not.
Yeah.
Right.
And then conversely, there'sanother 3000 couples there that,
in case that one doesn't workout.
Yeah.
Right.
So it, it is a lot of fun, Iwould say.
We really enjoyed it because weknew quite a few people from
(09:26):
here Yes.
That were on the cruise.
Yeah.
So you have an instant group of,hey, you know, you can go out
for dinner or drink, or Hey, howare you?
You know, it's, you don't feellost because mm-hmm.
I mean, there was probably 20couples that we knew.
Oh, easily.
Yeah.
And there was a number of people
Elle (09:41):
from here that I never met.
Like they had posted a pictureon Facebook that we're all here
on this cruise.
And I'm like, I dunno, thesepeople,
Nikki (09:48):
yeah.
You know, I mean
Elle (09:49):
There's so many people, it's just, it's hard to.
No, everybody, but, but that,
Nikki (09:52):
but I, I do think that was one of the nice things,
right?
And so some of our close friendswere on it and that part is just
a lot of fun.
And then the other fun thing isthey have all these hot tubs and
you different pools at three inthe morning you can get food and
you go play and now I'm hungryso it's that part, is a lot of
fun.
Yeah.
Yeah.
We also have been the desire,the only thing I would say
(10:15):
there.
Is, I guess like with any of theresorts, same like a cruise.
It just depends who's there.
Yeah.
Right.
I mean, is it a total potluck?
Right.
Sure.
And then desire's a lot smaller.
Right?
Right.
So it's like you said, maybe 300people in total.
We really enjoyed it.
The dancing was great and thefood is phenomenal.
Polly (10:34):
Mm-hmm.
Nikki (10:34):
In desire.
I I thought that was really,really nice.
Polly (10:37):
Yeah.
Nikki (10:38):
Yeah.
But for the rest, I don't knowif I have a preference resort
over cruise or mm-hmm.
You know?
Yeah.
No, I mean, it's all super sexyand super fun.
Elle (10:45):
We're, we're just trying to experience as many things as
we can.
Mm-hmm.
While, like we said in the lastone, while we're still able to,
like when we first got in thelifestyle, we thought we got
three years stops, and now weare five years into it.
It's like, I think we gotanother couple years here, that
we can do this and we have sucha great.
Friendship community.
Mm-hmm.
That, we're all aging together,so you definitely have that
(11:07):
benefit.
Okay.
So we were talking earlierbefore we even got on the
recording and had someconversation about single men in
the lifestyle and bringing theminto.
Your fold and your safe spaceand what that's like.
(11:28):
And then we ventured intocreepers at the club.
So, but I'd say let's start withsingle men and our thoughts on
that.
And I don't know, Holly, if youhave No yeah, haven't
Polly (11:40):
we have not,
Elle (11:41):
And, experiences are hit and miss because there's a lot
of single men that, jay willtalk with them on Cassidy or on
SDC and communicate and try andset something up.
And then at the last minute,poof, all of a sudden they're
gone.
And, we're concerned.
Okay.
Are they actually not single andthey married and their wife
found out, or they found they'repart of the lifestyle, but they
(12:02):
didn't want anything to do withit and they backed out, And so
there's a, a level of honestythat we appreciate with a lot of
the single men that we do knowand that are upstanding.
Good guys that, for us it's big.
If you're at the ranch or ifyou're at a club or you're
somewhere and there's a themegoing on.
Dress for the theme, make astatement, go up and talk to
(12:26):
people.
And we were there the othernight and so many.
Single guys that come in, don'ttalk to anybody.
Mm-hmm.
Stand in the corner, godownstairs, just start creeping
around.
Oh.
And then we'd look, I justsegued into the creeping.
And how challenging that is.
We wanna bring them in, we wannaaccept them, but if they're not
(12:46):
making any effort to try andtalk to us and, and be a human,
then it's really difficult.
Polly (12:53):
I think it's really important if you're gonna come
into the lifestyle as a singleman.
That.
Yeah, you do.
You need to make that effort.
You need to go up and you needto talk to people.
But I think that what's reallyimportant is if you're a single
man and you're approaching acouple, you need to approach the
man first.
Mm-hmm.
Agreed.
Don't just walk, we say that ahundred percent.
Walk up single woman and belike, Hey baby, because you're
gorgeous.
Exactly.
Because that happens to me alot.
(13:14):
We single guys will just come upto me and my husband's standing
right there next to me and he'slike, hello, what about me?
Yeah.
Yeah.
And that's one of the really bigreasons that we haven't.
Dabbled in that side of it yet.
And another part of it, it justdid at this moment in time, it's
not really what we're lookingfor, I guess.
Mm-hmm.
That being said, I have metthere's three single guys that I
(13:37):
have met that are amazing, kind.
Elle (13:41):
Good humans.
Really,
Polly (13:42):
really good gentlemen.
Mm-hmm.
Really good humans are.
They're respectful, they'repolite.
They've never been pushy withme.
No.
And so my husband and I have hadthis conversation that, you
know, if and when we get to thepoint where that is an option
for us, I said these, and Isuppose him, I said, these are
the only three that I wouldentertain that option.
Yeah.
At this point in time.
And he's like, if it came up,he's like, I would be okay with
(14:05):
these three.
Right, because they'rerespectful to him.
They're respectful to me, andthey're just really good people.
Mm-hmm.
Nikki (14:11):
Yeah,
Polly (14:12):
I agree with that.
Nikki (14:13):
Well, I guess it comes down to communication again.
Totally.
Like everything in the lifestyleepisode we started out,
basically, one of our boundarieswas no single man, because it
just seemed, we weren't there.
It, it just didn't seem right.
We were on a cruise early onand.
The cruise line or theorganization that put the cruise
(14:35):
on.
I think they had invited Xamount of single men.
Oh.
Elle (14:39):
And that's not usual.
Nikki (14:40):
Well, it, it, I don't know exactly how it worked, but
it almost seemed like they wouldbe like swarming on the dance
floor mm-hmm.
And waiting to see if theycould, hunt to pray.
No, it was very odd.
Mm-hmm.
And, and so we saw that and wewere like, okay, that's just
odd.
That's not respectful.
That's not what you want.
Yeah.
And then we sort of, ventured onour journey through the
(15:03):
lifestyle, and then we foundthat it's really hard making
that four-way connection.
Right.
Right.
It's, and then sometimes, you doplay and, not that you're taking
one for the team, but maybe theone couple is having a little
bit more fun than the other, theother couple.
Sure.
And that, and that happens,right?
Mm-hmm.
It's not all mm-hmm.
Stars and, and, fireworks everytime for all four people.
(15:24):
And so then we were sort ofgetting into this thing like,
well, a lot of times it's in mypartner's favor.
Was just going great, goinggreat.
And I was kinda like, well, andnot only sexually, it was also
just the meet and greets, drinksand dinner.
It just, every time I fell flatand I'm like, no, not it, not
it, not it.
And then my partner was kindalike, well, geez, maybe we
(15:46):
should revisit the whole thingwith a single male because.
Then you get a lot moreattention from that single male
because they need to work forit.
Right?
Right.
They, they can't just sit thereat dinner and talk about, sports
or whatever.
They really have to win youover.
They have to win me over.
So they just have to, work forit.
So we really recently justventured into that.
(16:10):
And definite ground rules Idon't communicate with, with any
of the guys.
Mm-hmm.
My partner does.
And no texting, no nothing.
And and I'm absolutely fine withthat, but we have a lot of good
giggles.
Like, what do you think aboutthis?
What do you think about that?
We look at all the picturestogether and all that.
Mm-hmm.
And I guess that's where thewhole dick pic thing came in,
which we need to elaborate onlater.
(16:31):
Yeah.
Yeah.
But I have to say, good segue,we were super lucky to find a
really great gentleman who is inour age range.
'cause that was important to me.
Right.
I was not interested in a youngbuck who's 20?
Nope.
it just turned me off.
My, my son's
Elle (16:50):
32, that's like my top, and, and that's still very low
for me.
So
Nikki (16:55):
even that I just wanted to be somebody.
Like me or like us whoappreciate where we are in life,
and you have something to talkabout together.
And it's not just weird andawkward.
Because there's, so much ofthat.
You get all these weird emailslike, oh yeah, you could be my
mom.
It's like, oh, oh, okay, great.
That's the quickest way to thebottom file.
So, we had this wonderfulexperience and it was very
(17:18):
rewarding and fun, and it workedout great.
But so far it's been our onlyone.
And now we're kind of at thatthought process well, is that a
one and done?
Is that we'll see this gentlemanmore often, do we wanna see
somebody else?
And we really haven't figuredthat out.
We're just digesting and I'malso kinda like, there's so many
(17:39):
different things you can do inthe lifestyle.
You don't have to only go forthe same, or only this or only
that.
So, you know, try it all.
It's a beautiful addition to thelineup.
Elle (17:47):
Mm-hmm.
Well, I think, it depends onthat person, like.
We have, Cassidy does a thing,and I think it's in other cities
too, where there's a girlsuncorked.
Yeah.
And it's, and we've all been tothat.
Mm-hmm.
And love that.
And I kind of feel like this isa little bit of that.
But it's women getting together,not a play party.
And you spend time talking andsocializing, building those
(18:07):
relationships, thosefriendships, and then everybody
sits around and then we talkabout how we got in the
lifestyle and what it means tous.
And, I've always.
Really pushed women who are newin the lifestyle to go to those
meetings because it gives theman opportunity to hear
everybody's story.
Mm-hmm.
Realize everybody's in adifferent place.
That everybody's looking forsomething different, and so that
(18:27):
they don't feel like, oh, I'mnot as, advanced as you or like
that.
It's like, no, you don't evenhave to be, you could be in this
for three years and you've beenwith one other couple, mm-hmm.
But you like the vibe or youdon't play with anybody,
everything goes.
But the guys will meet, like,and drop the women off, and then
they go to a bar and mm-hmm.
And do guys untapped.
And Jay was at one and, there'sprobably seven or eight guys
(18:52):
that were sitting there, and asingle gentleman came up
probably mid fifties.
So our and sat down, he said,he's like, Hey, is this, that
guy's group for, you know, and,and jay's like, yeah sit down,
let's talk.
He's like, okay, well I'm kindof new to this.
He's like, all right.
And so Jay gave him his sagewords of advice, when you're
meeting somebody.
(19:13):
Greet the gentleman first, butthe compliment to him about his
wife, make it about, connect himinto there.
If there's a theme, wearsomething.
It's a good conversationstarter.
Oh my gosh, I love that hat.
That looks great.
People will talk to you.
We went to a house party where aguy showed up.
It was a Valentine's Day and itwas a tutu and a corset and, and
(19:35):
combat boots, and, he was.
Of a shorter stature, but thehead of the party, he was
seriously.
And then later on we saw himplaying with another couple.
It's like, you go, that was howyou do it.
So he is telling him thesethings of how to be a good
single guy and to get somewhereand the lifestyle.
And the guy turns and looks athim and goes, yeah, I'm too old
(19:57):
for that.
I don't need to work that hard.
Polly (19:59):
Bye.
Okay,
Elle (20:01):
well then you're probably done here because.
We all are having to work tosome degree to make these things
happen so you're not exempt justbecause you have a penis.
So anyway, that was my 2 centsstory.
But that does kind of roll intowhat we were gonna talk about
too is creepers where you're ata club or you're at a party and
(20:23):
it's generally the singlegentleman.
Mm-hmm.
And that are, walking around andthey are not.
Talking to anybody, and they'redropping a lot of money to go
into a club.
Mm-hmm.
Statement.
Mm-hmm.
I mean, they are really are.
And to not try to make anycommunication with someone.
And Jay will always try to reachout to somebody at least once
when they're there and they looknew.
(20:44):
But then to go downstairs whereeverybody's playing.
So we were at the ranch a coupleof Wednesdays ago.
We go and we'll have dinner.
It kind of starts our weekendoff and, have a nice.
Dinner together, wonderful steakdinner.
And then we might go downstairsand play for a little while.
And this guy was walking aroundand it was just, it was
(21:06):
invasive, you know?
And at one point we had finishedplaying and there's a co-ed
bathroom downstairs, and I waswalking to it naked.
And when I came out of the stallat the end of the hallway of the
bathroom, it's very open.
There's a sofa and thisgentleman was just sitting
there.
There's no one else around, andjust him watching me.
(21:29):
Come out of the bathroom nakedand I'm washing my hands
thinking to myself, how am Igonna get past this?
I don't normally feeluncomfortable at the club.
And I was very uncomfortable towalk by this guy.
And I heard someone saysomething to him like, Hey dude,
you know, you're creeping somepeople out.
Turns out it was Jay.
He had seen him over there.
There was another gal, it washer first night.
(21:51):
She was feeling uncomfortablebecause he was just, looking in
when he shouldn't.
And he was just.
Not respectful of people's spaceand privacy, and so we were
getting dressed and we couldhear him talking with Richard,
the attendant downstairs, and hewas giving pushback.
And, and Richard was like, Heydude, you're making some women
(22:11):
feel uncomfortable.
You need to watch what you'redoing.
And he's pushing back andsaying, well, what was it that
guy, I'll talk to him, blah,blah.
And then his voice kept raising.
And then Richard was like, no,that's not how this is gonna go.
And so we went upstairs, got themanager, sent him down, and, and
that guy was escorted out andwill not be back.
(22:32):
So just because you pay a wholebunch of money, you don't get
the right.
To just insert yourself whereveryou want.
Mm-hmm.
I guess is my message.
Polly (22:39):
Absolutely.
And you have to be respectful.
We had an instance, severalmonths ago where we were
downstairs and I was gettingflogged.
And this gentleman, came up tomy husband and introduced
himself and said, he was new,he'd never been there before.
And then his next question outof his mouth is, how's the dude
get laid around here?
And my husband looked at me.
He goes, not by asking thatquestion, and so you just, you
gotta be respectful and you haveto be polite and.
(23:02):
Don't get too close for comfort.
It's not a free for all.
Elle (23:07):
Yeah.
This isn't a peep show.
No.
Mm-hmm.
I mean it is, but it's not, keepit a distance.
Nikki (23:11):
And I think the other thing is, there's this universal
code of, hey, if the curtainsare closed in a playroom, that
means people do not wanna bewatched.
Mm-hmm.
If they're open, then they don'thave an issue with it.
Mm-hmm.
Some clubs have little velvetropes.
I don't know if you've seen it.
So it's kinda interesting.
So you can leave the curtainsopen and then there's a velvet
rope and you can close it,meaning you can watch but not
(23:31):
come in.
Polly (23:32):
Mm-hmm.
Nikki (23:32):
Seems fair.
Or the velvet rope is down andthe curtains are open.
So then it's like you may comein, but you still gotta ask.
Absolutely.
Absolutely.
But, it is interesting how clubscome up with various traffic
signs to sort of direct, right?
Mm-hmm.
But then it's also onto thesesingle males to then, respect
that.
Mm-hmm.
And be knowledgeable about, Hey,this is the way it goes.
(23:55):
And don't just stand there.
Yeah.
Because that's, one of thethings we were playing once in
the summer last year and then wewere talking about it before and
all of a sudden there's somebodystanding there like half a foot
away.
Yeah.
Personal space.
And we had the same a desire.
Yeah.
We were playing together outsideunder the stars.
It was a beautiful night.
And you look over and there'ssomebody seriously like half a
foot away and alone and justlike weirdly staring.
(24:18):
Mm-hmm.
It's just weird, there is thatdifference between voyeurism and
being creepy.
And being creepy.
Yes.
Yeah.
There, you know, fine line.
Mm-hmm.
Elle (24:27):
Which then I think rolls us right into unsolicited dick
pics.
Polly (24:34):
I don't know about you, but I solicit them though.
Well, and that fine, I do not,well, I don't want'em,
Nikki (24:41):
I, guess for me it's more as a female, if you are on an
app like Cassidy or on a day,like any dating app probably, I
am not interested in seeing 20pictures of your day.
Right.
You could put on one like nicelighting, if you need to
highlight the fact that, I goteight inches and blah, blah.
(25:01):
Right?
I mean it's, there's always thatcomment, but I'd rather see
like, Hey, this is me.
Doing soccer.
This is me at the bar.
This is me.
Look at me.
I'm, I'm kayaking.
Yeah.
Or whatever.
That's more.
And then communicating
Elle (25:13):
and showing me you have a brain.
Yes.
Yes.
And you're intelligent andyou'll make me laugh and we can
have a conversation.
'cause
Nikki (25:19):
instead of like 20 dick pics, like just, okay, Monday,
Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday.
And it's like, really what?
I don't, I don't,
Polly (25:25):
yeah.
Because I don't enjoy it.
I don't care how big your dickis, if you're an asshole or if,
and if you can't carry on aconversation.
Nothing's gonna happen anyway.
Nothing's gonna happen.
Nikki (25:34):
I also find it's almost a little creepy, because I don't
send pictures of my vi jj, youknow, I mean mm-hmm.
If there's a picture that I'm inbed or whatever, it's just part
of the total picture.
Right.
Right.
But not just like, focus on mycrotch, like, here look at my
crotch.
Right.
It's like, and then,
Elle (25:51):
hey again, don't wanna yuck a yum.
Somebody else might like that.
That's fine.
Absolutely.
Absolutely.
But I think in general, peoplewould rather have a little bit
of a connection with somebodybefore you start getting those.
Show us who you
Nikki (26:02):
are.
Yeah.
Show us who you are.
And just sending a dick picdoesn't show me anything.
Elle (26:06):
Mm-hmm.
Exactly.
Mm-hmm.
No.
Okay.
So then what are some of the bigsurprises that you have found
going through, the lifestyle,things that you went, oh, I had
no idea that it was gonna bethat way.
Polly (26:22):
I have several the first being that when I went to the
club for the first time, like I,in my head, imagine like the
craziest, wildest.
Orgy
Elle (26:32):
orgy
Polly (26:33):
with just, dicks flying everywhere, come on the walls,
just like this giant, massivesex fest, which is not at all
what it was.
Secondly, I am shocked that Ihave met some of my very closest
friends to this.
Yes.
And wasn't at all what I wasanticipating.
(26:53):
The people are so genuine.
Like, there's no pre pretense.
Pretense pre Mm.
Yeah.
There's none of that.
Still some, there's still somecliqueiness.
Sure.
To some extent.
But for the most part, thepeople I've met are kind,
they're real, they're genuine.
Mm-hmm.
They are, committed to theirpartners mm-hmm.
And to their families.
(27:13):
And it's not just a bunch ofbroken souls trying to fix a
damaged marriage.
Right.
Some are young, some are old.
Mm-hmm.
Some of the older ones havereally surprised me because
mm-hmm.
Elle (27:25):
You're still
Polly (27:25):
kicking.
Good for you.
I was like, good for you.
I hope I'm still doing that whenI'm 85.
Yeah.
And it's just been a greatexperience overall for us.
Mm-hmm.
Nikki (27:32):
Mm-hmm.
I would say the same.
It's been an absolute greatexperience.
One of the things that surprisedme probably the most is you do
go on a journey.
Yes.
Right?
You start off and, oh, I'm nevergonna do that
Polly (27:45):
Uhhuh,
Nikki (27:45):
or I'm, I've never anticipated that.
I might like it.
And then you see it and thenyou're kind of like, well
actually this is really fun.
That's just like, it might befun.
I wanna try that.
And then also having theopportunity to be able to try
it.
Mm-hmm.
You can almost make any sexualfantasy you have come alive if
you want to.
Mm-hmm.
And that is one of thoseeye-opening things.
And at the same time, I feelvery unjudged by others.
(28:09):
Yes.
Right.
You can talk about it, and a lotof people are very open and you
can talk about your wildestfantasies, and I've never really
had it that anybody's kind oflike you say what?
Polly (28:18):
Mm-hmm.
Nikki (28:19):
So that is one of the surprising thing.
And then on the flip side, andwe talked about it earlier, I am
somewhat surprised as in howBDSM and kink is.
Not fully accepted by theswingers.
'cause a lot of swingers arestill deep down vanilla,
Elle (28:36):
right?
And actually like if you
Nikki (28:37):
go down the rabbit hole of of of more BDSM and more
flogging and more kink.
It's just that there is someeyebrow raising.
Elle (28:46):
Right.
And that's a good segue.
I wanted to touch base on thatbecause I know you and your
partner mm-hmm.
Are into the kink and the bdsmmm-hmm.
As well as swinging, which isunusual to have somebody who's
into both, but finds thatbalance and finds out where it
works and at what point wouldyou tell us a little bit more
about what.
(29:06):
You get out of the kink in theBDSM mm-hmm.
And, things that you wish peopleunderstood about it that might
be fallacies out there.
Nikki (29:15):
Mm-hmm.
I think you are into BDSM orkink if pain gives you pleasure.
I don't know if that makessense, but for me, not pain like
injuring, like you're gonna cutmy leg off.
Right.
You're not bleeding Exactly.
But a slap, a scratch aflogging, it heightens your
senses.
(29:35):
Mm-hmm.
And it just turns beyond wildly.
Polly (29:39):
Mm-hmm.
Nikki (29:39):
And it's also the dominant submissive undertone
that whoever is being flogged, Iguess is more submissive and the
whole dominance thing.
But.
What people don't understand isA, we mainly do it together at
home.
Elle (29:55):
Right,
Nikki (29:55):
right.
It's not, is it a
Elle (29:56):
group play?
Nikki (29:57):
It's not a group play.
If I'm at a at a house party,I'm not gonna go buck wild and
do it.
It's just really something wehave as a couple.
Polly (30:06):
Mm-hmm.
Nikki (30:07):
And also because it's probably a little bit more
equipment and more, yeah.
Accessories, items to bringaccessories and so on.
But then also it's kind of like.
I I'm not gonna force it ontoyou.
That's one of the reactions wehad once we were at a party and
somebody had all these floggersout,
Polly (30:24):
I was at that party.
Nikki (30:25):
Right?
And, and we were,, it wassomewhat odd.
We're all having fun and there'sthis beautiful couch and these
floggers are laying there,right?
And it was kind of veryinviting.
And my partner and I were bothkinda like, see this, right?
They're, they're, they're notthere for decoration, they're
there for having someone.
We should use them.
Yeah.
So we did, and that raisedeyebrows.
(30:48):
At one point the host came andlike, please stop.
People have complained.
Why?
Why did they Well, I
Polly (30:53):
think it was just people were just uncomfortable.
They were uncomfortable.
Yeah.
They were uncomfortable.
It was just the wrong crowd forit.
It was the wrong crowd.
Right.
It's not, something that I thinkthat group of people.
Was used to seeing at at all.
Right?
Yeah.
At all.
So I think you were just, but
Nikki (31:04):
it made me feel so sad because Yeah.
You know, sorry, it made you
Polly (31:08):
feel like that.
Nikki (31:08):
Well, because it's kind of like you are opening yourself
up and you're showing what youlike.
You're being vulnerable.
Yeah.
And then, you get totally shutdown they don't even have the
decency to come on over and belike, Hey, not the time, they
went to complain.
It's like complaining to theprincipal.
Mm-hmm.
Joey ate my lunch.
Right.
It was a really weird experienceand it really taught us we
(31:31):
really have to be more carefulas in your target audience.
Right.
And it's somewhat unfair is notthe right word, but it's
somewhat, yeah.
Not something you expect in thelifestyle.
Right.
You expect openness foreverything.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And that's with kink and BDSM, Iwould say some people
absolutely.
But there's many that areuncomfortable.
Elle (31:50):
And the whole point of the lifestyle is to be open and
accepting.
Mm-hmm.
You don't have to wanna do it,you don't have to need that
either.
Well, and, but you should neveryuck somebody else's.
Yum.
Nikki (32:02):
Right.
But also on top of that is theyhave to realize.
Just because I like it, I'm notgonna force it on you.
Yeah.
Elle (32:09):
Right.
And, and
Nikki (32:09):
that is the thing with what happened during that party
that people were like, don't hitme.
There was one woman and it waskinda like, we're not, not
happening.
Yeah.
It was so outta context.
And it was so unpleasant that ittook us a long time to then say,
okay, well we'll do this inpublic.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
Totally understandable.
And kink I guess is more.
Also more at home.
(32:30):
I would would say personal than,really like in group play.
Elle (32:33):
And it's nice.
The ranch does on the thirdFridays of every month mm-hmm.
Have a kink night, which is kindof kink light and, but it gives
an opportunity for people todress a little bit, a little
dirtier.
Yeah.
Yep.
And they'll have differentpeople there.
There's some very skilled.
Floss that come and, showpeople, they want you to know
the proper way to do that.
(32:53):
And if you wanna experience,this is what it's gonna feel
like.
And then they keep in touch withyou or they'll have the
electricity.
Mm-hmm.
And you can try that.
Or, there's hot rocks or there'sflames.
A lot of people really like theflames or they're curious and
the hot wax.
And so you wouldn't normallyexperiment with something like
that except in that situation.
Mm-hmm.
It's light, but it is a greatopportunity for people just to
(33:17):
dip a toe in, have a more ofunderstanding for it, and to
have an appreciation for it,whether they decide to do
anything with it or not.
Nikki (33:23):
Have you guys tried the wand, the electric wand?
I
Elle (33:26):
have tried the electric wand.
It's our,
Nikki (33:28):
is that the velvet
Elle (33:29):
wand?
No, it's not electricity.
It's called the violetelectricity.
Violet one.
The violet one.
Violet one, yeah.
Nikki (33:33):
Yeah.
You can turn it up, dial it upor down, and you get this
electrical current.
Yeah.
And so one time we were at ahouse party and I think we
worked with like eight peopleand if you hold onto each other
it's, it's like an elementaryschool
Elle (33:47):
science projects.
Awesome.
Nikki (33:48):
It was so much fun.
And then we were starting to zapvaginas and, and breasts and
dicks.
It was like so funny and at onepoint everybody from the kitchen
came upstairs'cause my partnerwas like, squealing from, from
delight, from these little zapsof electricity.
It was so much fun.
Oh, that's funny.
It was really funny.
Yeah.
Elle (34:06):
Well, thank you for sharing that part of your life
with us.
Mm-hmm.
A part of.
Your life, Polly is, is verymuch been your journey with
women and your appreciation forit and wanting to explore that
more and come across more women.
And I'd just like you to take amoment and talk to us.
There's an organization that youbelong to that is very dear to
(34:29):
your heart, and I just wanted togive you an opportunity to talk
about it because there may beother women out there that are
looking for something like this.
Polly (34:37):
Mm-hmm.
Thank you.
I appreciate the opportunity totalk about it.
So.
When I first got started in thelifestyle, I, was looking to
connect with women and there wasa woman who had a profile on
Cassidy and she said she was,bisexual and if you're looking
to meet more bisexual women orlearn more about this, you
should check out thisorganization called The Skirt
Club.
And I had never heard about it.
(34:58):
And so I did a little bit ofresearch and the Skirt Club is
based in the uk It is a paidmembership club for women.
Who are bisexual, bi curious andthey need to be feminine
presenting.
Mm-hmm.
Because it's very much touchinginto your deep feminine parts of
your body.
And so you have to go through apretty rigorous application
(35:19):
process, submit photographs, andyou're either accepted or you're
denied.
It's an internationalorganization, they've got
branches all over the world, andit's a great way to meet other
women who have similarinterests.
To you as far as theirsexuality.
Sometimes we just go out andhave cocktails.
Sometimes we'll go paddleboarding or to a comedy show.
(35:40):
Sometimes we have what we callminiskirt parties where, we'll
go out and go see a show and getdrinks and then, go back to a
hotel room for, an hour or twoand maybe there's some light
making out, some kissing, somepetting.
Sometimes there's a little bitmore.
But then they also have what arecalled signature.
Skirt club parties, they're notall night long, but they last
(36:00):
until about two o'clock in themorning.
And it is specifically a sexparty for women.
And you go in and there'sappetizers, dessert, champagne.
Always have snacks.
Always have snacks.
There's usually entertainment.
So we've had like a burlesquedancer come in, oh, that fun.
Do a show for us.
And then it leads into theplaytime part of the evening
where, it's usually a penthouseshotel room, private home villa,
(36:24):
that kind of situation thatgives women the opportunity to
explore the more sexual side ofa relationship with another
woman.
They do weekend getaways,different international cities.
Wow.
And it's just, it's a great wayto meet women.
They focus a lot on embracingyour sexuality, learning about
yourself, how to pleasureyourself, how.
(36:44):
To pleasure another woman,sexual wellness.
We've done yoni egg workshopstalking, about how to,
strengthen your pelvic musclespleasure mapping, figuring out,
what pleases you, how to pleasesomebody else, and it's just
been a really great experience.
Elle (37:00):
Well, good.
And I noticed,'cause I went toone of the meet and greets with
you and it wasn't a bunch oflifestyle women.
No, no.
I was, I realized that early on,so I'm like, oh, I can't talk as
freely, but then you came overand you're talking about it and
I'm like, oh, okay.
Polly (37:15):
Yeah, most of the women there, I mean, there's a wide
variety of ages.
Most of'em are mid twenties.
I'm definitely on the older endof the spectrum.
Most of them are married.
A lot of them have kids and,their husbands, I think most of
their husbands know about it.
I don't, I haven't met anybodyyet whose husband doesn't know
that they're, doing this.
And it was just a great way tobuild,, a broader network of
(37:37):
similarly minded women who areinterested in exploring that
side of their sexuality.
Elle (37:43):
I fully support anything that does that, you know?
Mm-hmm.
For anybody in their sexualityto be in an open environment
where it's accepted mm-hmm.
And you're not feeling the shameand you can talk about it with
other people and, work throughanything that you've got going
on.
Nikki (38:00):
Yeah.
And I guess have some fun at thesame time.
Well, there's that too.
Hopefully there's themes to allof the events, right.
And so
Polly (38:06):
there's lots of times, we did an event an over a.
It was, we did actually aweekend play party last year and
it was let them eat cake.
That was the mean.
And so we all dressed up likeMaria Antoinette.
And so each of the parties has areally distinct, unique theme.
They do fun pool parties.
We're gonna do a cooking classlater this summer.
So just all sorts of differentfun things.
(38:27):
And there's always a way to makeyour party a little bit sexier.
So the cooking class we're gonnado is gonna be topless.
Hey, I like that.
Can't do that.
I heard
Nikki (38:35):
about a party where where as long as there's no display
aprons.
Polly (38:38):
That's gonna be it.
Okay.
Yep.
Yep.
All right.
Everybody's gonna wear well,they can wear pants if they want
to, but you don't have to.
Don't not
Elle (38:44):
required.
Everybody's gonna get an apronas long as you're not deep
frying something.
No.
There'll be no deep frying.
Well, excellent.
Well, is there anything elsethat you guys wanna talk about?
That was kind of our list thatwe put together.
I really appreciate the timethat you guys have taken today.
Mm-hmm.
Polly (39:00):
No, I just think that it's important that people know
that people that are in thelifestyle, they're not freaks,
they're not sexual deviants.
Yeah.
They're not gonna hurt you.
They're not gonna come into yourlife and disrupt your way of
living.
It's a way that can consentingadults.
Yes, can explore different partsof their sexuality and I think
it's healthy.
Mm-hmm.
You know, especially when,couples are doing it together.
(39:22):
Mm-hmm.
It has brought my husband and Icloser together.
We tried things that neither ofus thought that we would or
could.
Get to a point where we couldtry.
Mm-hmm.
And it has done nothing but makeour relationship stronger.
So, I'm just sad we didn't doit, 20 years ago.
Elle (39:40):
Yeah.
I'd be a different personthough, because the clock's
ticking.
Polly (39:43):
Yeah.
I would've been a very differentperson 20 years ago.
And it's nice now doing this, atan, age where.
I have the maturity and thewisdom and the comfort in my own
skin.
Yeah.
And I think that's kind of oneof the, going back to one of the
surprises is that I'm morecomfortable in my own skin than
I've ever been in my life.
Yes.
It has given me confidence toask for what I want in bed.
(40:04):
Yep.
And to be able to say, I am notjust here.
For your pleasure.
Mm-hmm.
I deserve pleasure out of ittoo.
And I'm going to take thatpleasure, uhhuh, and, and I'm
gonna tell you what I need tomake that happen.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
And so it's just been a greatexperience for me.
Nikki (40:20):
Lovely.
Yeah.
And I think for us it's beenlike talk, talk, talk.
Communication.
Communication.
Mm-hmm.
I think in a, vanillarelationship, it's really easy
to just gloss over things and,everything is just going it's
merry way.
And here you have so many new,unexpected experiences that you
have to work through.
(40:41):
Mm-hmm.
See if you want to and like, orit's, it's also very.
Deep in your soul with yoursensuality.
Are you okay with this or not?
The communication part isphenomenal how much that has
increased, and then also howthat then helps the general
lifestyle.
Yeah.
It's, really cool in that sense.
Elle (41:00):
Yeah.
Well, ladies, I reallyappreciate you spending all this
time with me today, especiallysince we did the one episode.
And didn't hit the recordbutton, but hey, live and learn
and Tramp will be back and hecan help me out with that next
time.
But again, just like lastepisode.
That was a big fat ask meanything and we talked about a
(41:22):
lot of things and so just wantedto thank everybody who listens
and coming on this journey withus and asking questions for
later that we can answer anyideas for podcast episodes and
topics that we can talk about.
Pretty much an open book.
So tramp and I are lookingforward to, maybe doing some
(41:44):
more episodes about.
Sexual adventures and fun stuffthat's going on in our lives,
and we just really love how thisis evolving.
So until next time, I'm Elle, besexy, be confident
Polly (41:58):
and be unapologetic.
I.
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