August 17, 2025 • 44 mins
This week we deep dive into the difference and if there is one. Plus, Elle recounts her latest sexy solo adventure.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Elle (00:03):
Welcome back to Unapologetic Swingers.
I'm El and I'm the Tramp,
Tramp (00:08):
We just want to thank you from the bottom of our hearts
for your continued interactionwith us and listening to us and
all the reviews.
It's just been amazing to haveyou come on this journey with
myself and Jay and l and really.
Explore the lifestyle as weoften say, the highs and lows
(00:31):
and everything in between.
Elle (00:33):
And to be open to hearing our stories and meeting the
people that we know and talkingabout all the different aspects.
We do try to come up with someinteresting ideas of, what to
talk about.
Sometimes it's a struggle andsometimes it comes very easily.
Sometimes you have dinner andyou sit around and talk about
it, and then what you thoughtyou were gonna talk about turns
into something completelydifferent.
Tramp (00:53):
That's very true.
So Elle, what are we talkingabout today?
Elle (00:58):
Well, today we are talking about the difference between a
hot wife and a hall pass.
Tramp (01:05):
Okay.
Elle (01:06):
We've, both come across some situations in the last year
I know I've said over and overagain, I'm not a hot wife, and
then I seem to keep findingmyself in hot wife situations.
So as we were discussing this weeven looked up definitions of
what each were and how does thatapply And, oh, maybe I was wrong
or.
Tramp (01:27):
Well, why don't we start kind of with the definitions
where we talk about a hot wifeor quite frankly, a hot husband,
if you will, right?
And kind of what that entails.
Elle (01:40):
Okay.
So, according to Mr.
Google.
It could be Mrs.
Google.
What do I know?
The term hot wife refers to amarried woman who engages in
sexual relationships with othermen, with the full knowledge and
consent of her husband, whotypically remains monogamous
himself.
Now, we also know that that'snot true.
It goes on to say thisarrangement is part of ethically
(02:03):
non-monogamous or swingingdynamics, and differs from
cheating.
Cheating because it's openlyagreed upon by both partners.
Tramp (02:11):
AKA communication.
Elle (02:13):
Oh yeah.
Don't we love that?
Tramp (02:15):
Whereas I think a hall pass is going to be very similar
in essence that it's anagreement between the husband
and wife typically, where one orpotentially both are granted
permission to engage in sexualactivity with someone outside of
their relationship.
(02:36):
And it can be ongoing or.
A temporary, just as it sounds,a hall pass.
It's a one time thing.
Elle (02:42):
Sure.
And if you're in the vanillaworld, it's, this is my
celebrity crush and it's my hallpass and I ever get that
opportunity to meet that personand they wanna take me and pull
my pants down and do all sortsof fun things to me, I get to do
that.
'cause my husband said it wouldbe okay.
Mm-hmm.
I like our versions better.
Me too.
Tramp (03:02):
And I think we're going to bring a very interesting
dynamic because I've been on oneside of the equation.
Elle (03:09):
Yes.
Tramp (03:10):
And you've had especially recently experiences where
you've been on the other side ofthe equation.
Yes.
And we just go from there.
Elle (03:18):
Well, I think we start with you.
Tramp (03:21):
Okay.
So keep in mind everyone, thatthis is coming from the single
male perspective.
Mm-hmm.
And I have had interactions withassorted hot wives.
This is a situation where theirhusband or significant other was
fully aware and we were able tohave some wonderful experiences
(03:45):
with their full support andpermission.
Elle (03:48):
Right.
And actually probablyencouragement.
Yes, I know in my case it wasencouragement, but we, we know
that about Jay.
Tramp (03:56):
Very true.
Very true.
But by the same token, I have totreat those experiences with the
utmost respect.
Elle (04:07):
Yes.
Tramp (04:08):
Because I am the outsider.
I'm not there to take anyone'splace or anything.
I'm there to fulfill a fantasyand to allow, in this case, the
sexy woman to just have fun andenjoy and get lost in the
moment.
Elle (04:26):
Right.
And sometimes it's a differentexperience when your husband's
not right there.
It isn't so much that they'rethere hovering over But just
having that separation of himnot being in the room.
Mm-hmm.
Not being anywhere near it, andthat woman can just.
Relax and look into your eyesand get to know you and feel all
(04:49):
the feels to, well the feels asyou feel.
And you had your firstexperience was, you were newly
single.
You've not been single in thelifestyle, and you had met a
couple and had an opportunity,hit it off and.
I leave it to you.
Tramp (05:06):
Very true.
And this was early on.
You're absolutely correct.
Where we actually had severalexperiences and oftentimes with
these things, they do run theircourse.
Mm-hmm.
It's not necessarily an ongoingrelationship or experience or
(05:27):
whatnot.
But there, were times where sheand I played one-on-one.
Mm-hmm.
And it was amazing and sexy.
And you're right, immersive, Ithink is is the best word.
Yeah.
Oh, that's a great
Elle (05:40):
word.
I like that.
Tramp (05:42):
And.
There was another time where hewas there and involved.
So it was much more of basicallya MFM Right.
Where she was the focus and wewere there for her and to
explore and fulfill herfantasies to that respect.
Elle (06:04):
Right, right.
And just as a side note, we havefriends who.
When asked if they've ever donean MFM stated that, oh no, I
wouldn't do that.
That's too much work.
It's not too much work.
Just so you know, you get toenjoy two wonderful men paying
attention to you and taking youfrom different angles, and
(06:26):
that's always.
Really, really nice.
Tramp (06:29):
And just being the center of attention.
Yeah.
It's not necessarily putting inwork, you're gonna do what you
wanna do.
Oh, for sure.
If you want to give a doubleblow job, you give a double blow
job.
Oh, I
Elle (06:38):
do.
I do want to.
Tramp (06:41):
But if you want to just lay there and some women's
fantasies.
Just to be serviced and somecould be just to be used.
Just fuck the shit outta me.
Right.
Elle (06:52):
Either end what doesn't matter.
Go for it.
Yeah.
Tramp (06:55):
And that's their wheelhouse.
That's what they want and that'swhat it's all about.
She is the focus.
Elle (07:01):
Right?
Exactly.
Exactly.
So, what did you find were theboundaries with this first
experience where, you had tokind of navigate some things.
Right.
And it was,
Tramp (07:14):
admittedly it was brand new to me as well.
Yeah.
And as I mentioned earlier, youhave to treat these situations
with the utmost respect and beable not only to acknowledge
their partner, their husband,and make sure that everything is
copacetic and everything isabove board.
Elle (07:32):
Mm-hmm.
Tramp (07:33):
But I really enjoyed just those one-on-one.
I was able to get to know her asa person.
Elle (07:43):
Yeah.
Tramp (07:43):
And it was, a lot of fun just being able to explore and
find out what turned that personon and, the sights and the
sounds.
Mm-hmm.
Everything, what they liked andwhat they didn't like, and that
was amazing for me.
Elle (07:58):
Yeah.
Yeah.
I think that's great.
I mean, it's a safe situation.
You don't have the pressure of,oh, is this gonna turn into
something?
Or, that first date feeling orwhatever this is, well this is
not necessarily mine, but I getto enjoy it tonight.
Tramp (08:11):
Very true.
Elle (08:11):
Yeah.
Everybody's happy.
Yay.
And we know people who, they'llgo out to dinner on a date and
then they'll.
Wind up at the ranch and Sure.
It's like, oh, where's so andso?
Oh no, he's at home.
I'm on a date.
We see that a lot with a lot ofpeople.
And, for a while I was like, ah,you know, I think that's great
for them.
And one couple, they've beentogether since high school and
(08:34):
that was.
Not yesterday and they'd notbeen with anyone else.
Mm-hmm.
So, you look at that and theyboth go on dates.
So, I think we should call itthe hot husband.
When we started looking it upand went down the rabbit hole
for definitions, there reallywasn't one except some weird
definitions.
But I think it's the same thingwhere, you know, have permission
from the wife to go out on adate, take another woman out,
(08:55):
take her to the ranch, godownstairs, play a little, and
come home to them.
And they love.
That they're getting thatopportunity because they didn't
get to sow those oats when theywere in their twenties, you
know?
Very
Tramp (09:06):
true.
And I think the other half ofthat equation is the partner at
home.
Chances are they want to knowabout it.
It is actually exciting and ahuge turn on for them to have
their partner come home.
And not only.
The reclamation sex, which I'msure is just off the charts.
(09:26):
Oh my gosh, yes.
But a lot of people will reallyget off on almost like a play by
play or a blow by blow.
Elle (09:33):
Yeah.
It's like your own personal porn
Tramp (09:34):
that you just get to hear.
Right.
And as we've heard, a lot ofpeople will say, my husband or
my wife is my favorite pornstar.
Elle (09:41):
Yes.
Right,
Tramp (09:42):
because you can fantasize about that person.
Yeah.
And you can really get some goodstories going in your head.
Elle (09:49):
Oh, I'll tell you this much when we'll be watching
porn.
And Jay's like, oh yeah, thereyou are.
You're doing that.
You're taking those cocks,you're doing, you know, and he's
already put me in it, whetherI'm in it or not, you know?
And it's like, I'm alright withthat.
Do that all day long.
Little healthy fantasy there.
Yeah.
And then what else?
Tramp (10:07):
And building off of that El, I know you've had a couple
recent experiences, even thispast weekend.
Elle (10:14):
Yeah.
Tramp (10:14):
Where you had a very sexy adventure.
And if you're willing to, we'dlove to hear a little bit about
it.
Elle (10:24):
Well, I don't mind sharing.
I do it all the time.
No.
Um, yes, it was unexpected, butit wasn't'cause we had to get a
plane ticket.
But it came about in anunexpected way.
If you've listened to our lastfew episodes, about a month ago,
I went to Orlando to meet mysister-in-law's brother.
(10:48):
We're not gonna get into thatagain.
We've told that story already.
And while I was there, I met avery lovely Italian man and we
really hit it off and, had agreat time.
That weekend I played a coupleof times.
Mm-hmm.
Um, on the second night, that Iwas there.
He and, and our friend Dee, thathad brought him, took me to the
(11:09):
playroom at Secrets.
Okay.
And had their way with me on thesex wing.
So that was great.
Tramp (11:15):
Now are we going to give this gentleman a, an apologetic
swinger code name?
Yes.
The Italian.
The Italian just, I'm gonnaleave it at that
Elle (11:23):
until he gives me permission to do something else.
Oh, fair.
That's fair.
Tramp (11:27):
Would you do us a favor and maybe just a brief
description of him?
Elle (11:31):
Oh, yes, I will do that.
So, he is a tall gentleman.
He's like, you and Jay, maybe 61, 6 2, somewhere in there.
Okay.
Lean like you.
I know he plays pickleball onWednesdays.
I don't know what else he does,but he's in pretty good shape.
Age appropriate for me.
He has.
(11:52):
Lovely blue eyes and a supersexy accent.
Italian accent, and great hair.
It's really good hair.
But, and, a very substantialcock.
Okay.
How's that for a description?
That'll
Tramp (12:08):
work.
Elle (12:09):
Okay.
Tramp (12:09):
What is it about accents?
'cause I'm much the same way.
Whether it's an English accentright?
Or whatnot.
Something is about accents isjust.
Intrinsically sexy,
Elle (12:19):
right?
He's as sexy as his accent, isit that feeling of, being with
somebody that you wouldn'tnormally be with?
You know, except for ccircumstances, granted he's been
here about 20 years.
But, that, that accent's stillthere, and it just, yeah, it
just works.
He just wanna, he just wannalisten to it for a while.
(12:39):
Yes.
It's really good.
So he and I had hit it off and,Jay and he had, been texting
back and forth and everything,and I'm like, well, you could
tell him, he could text me ifyou're okay with that.
And, jay made that happen.
And so, we would start textingand then it was flirting and,
send sexy pictures every now andthen and just talking about
stuff.
And he's like, man, I'd, I'dreally love for you to come back
(13:00):
to Orlando.
Mm-hmm.
For house party.
He gets invited to a lot ofhouse parties.
He's one of those wonderfulsingle men.
Who you can have at any partybecause they are a delight to
have there.
People want him there, he goesout on a lot of dates and, and
has a good time.
But when you're with him, youfeel like he's with you.
Mm-hmm.
So it's nice and we had beentalking back and forth and Jay's
(13:22):
like, well, what do you think?
And I'm like, well, might bekind of fun to go back there and
go to a house party so I, youdon't have to twist my arm.
Right.
Well, you know, how do you feel?
You gotta pay for the ticket.
And he's like, I'm happy to payfor that.
So, he saw that we were bothreally hitting it off.
And honestly, it's not like thetext messages were super sexual.
You know, they were just flirty.
(13:42):
Except for every now and then,it did get a little bit, but
not, it wasn't like the mainpart of it.
So I'm very, very cerebral andI'm not gonna be that way.
Yeah, yeah.
But
Tramp (13:49):
you never wanted to get boring,
Elle (13:50):
right?
No, exactly.
Exactly.
Then he brought up, he said,yeah, some really good friends
of mine are having a house partyand this a lot of sexy people,
and do you think you could comeout?
I would love to have you comeout.
I'm like, for the whole weekend,he's like, yeah, you can stay
with me at my house, and thenwe'll go over there and, come
back and I'm like, okay.
So I talked with Jay about itand looked up tickets and said,
okay, I, we can do this.
(14:12):
And, got the tickets and.
A lot of built up excitement aswe were coming up on it and went
out there last Friday, and that
Tramp (14:21):
pent up energy must have been just something else.
Yeah.
Elle (14:24):
We spent a lot of time, once he picked me up at the
airport, we spent a lot of timewhile we were eating lunch and
having a glass of wine justtalking with each other.
We talked about our kids, wetalked about, where he's here,
he's lived, where I've lived, soit was definitely get to know
you a little bit better.
Tramp (14:37):
And, and it makes you feel, just as you mentioned, you
being very cerebral.
It gives you that additionalconnection.
Connection that turn on insteadof just saying, Hey, you're hot.
Let's, let's go.
Fuck.
Elle (14:50):
Right?
I would feel so awkward stayingat his place for, two and a half
days.
Going, we didn't talk aboutanything.
I have to have that.
Mm-hmm.
It's important.
So, we wound up sitting on thecouch and talking for a little
while longer, and then thingsstarted kind of to, to heat up a
little bit.
We started kissing and makingout and they kind of went from
there.
Tramp (15:09):
Now.
At up to this point would youconsider yourself a hot wife?
Elle (15:14):
Well, gosh, now based on our definition here.
Tramp (15:18):
Yeah.
Elle (15:18):
Hey, can I be a situational hot wife?
Tramp (15:21):
I don't see why not.
Okay,
Elle (15:23):
good.
Then I am a situational hotwife.
If it's a specific person, aspecific situation, then yes.
Mm-hmm.
I would say I am.
Okay.
Wow.
Okay.
That was unexpected.
Yeah.
Tramp (15:36):
It's not you and Jay's soul dynamic.
No.
Because you, you still go out ondates with other couples, you
mm-hmm.
If there's a four wayconnection, you still all play.
Yes.
And all of the traditional, Iguess, trappings or definitions
of swinging, but this is just anadditional.
(15:57):
Flavor that is now in yourwheelhouse.
Elle (16:00):
Yeah.
Yeah.
And like I said, I, it was veryunexpected and, I certainly
wouldn't have thought I'd flyout to Orlando a second time to
have a fun, sexy weekend withoutJay.
Mm-hmm.
Um, and, it really, the comfortlevel was so.
Good that, it was just supereasy to spend the time together,
(16:21):
to fool around, to have sex onthe sofa, to, go to the party.
I mean, the party was amazing.
A beautiful house with.
Lovely people.
Mm-hmm.
I think there were maybe 30people there.
Oh wow.
Yeah, it was a pretty, I mean,
Tramp (16:36):
I love a good house party.
Yeah.
It was, especially when everyoneis sexy.
Elle (16:39):
Yeah.
They, and everybody was, got toknow everybody on SDC and then
like that Friday night when wewent out to dinner, we were
going through it and he wastelling me once that he knew
and.
Had connections with, or who heplayed pickle ball with on
Wednesdays.
Right.
And, all the things.
'cause he's been around thesepeople for a while, so most of
the people that were there, heknew.
Now there were some that didn't.
So, you have the, question fromsomebody, oh, I just met your
(17:02):
husband.
I'm like, oh no, you mm-hmm.
He's not my husband.
My husband's in Colorado.
Right.
Which then they thought he wason a trip in Colorado and
thought it was weird.
Wait, you live in Colorado,right?
And why are you here?
Tramp (17:13):
Well, for it may not be necessarily in their wheelhouse
or.
It's just not their thing.
So it, it is a foreign concept,if you will.
Yeah.
So the one thing that came tomind right now with the Italian
is since this is his localcommunity
Elle (17:30):
mm-hmm.
Tramp (17:31):
Did you at any point ever feel any.
I guess conflict or anythingcoming from other people that
he, may have played with beforeand maybe the wife was
expecting?
Well, no, the Italians, I waslooking forward to the Italian
tonight, and the Italians herewas someone else, and I don't
know how I feel about that.
Elle (17:51):
I didn't get any of that.
No, everybody was reallywelcoming.
There were three ladies thatbasically hosted it was at one,
one house.
But they, and their, spouses, Ifound out, I mean, had spent
days getting the place ready.
Like this was their first houseparty.
Oh, wow.
And they knocked it out of thepark.
I mean, the food was great, allthe little snackies and,
everybody, it was BYOB and theyhad set up, the theme was rave.
(18:14):
Okay.
And so everybody kind of worerave wear, so it was a lot of
neon.
And they had put blue lights outon the back patio.
So when we're all out there andthe light, you know, it got
dark.
I'm like, oh my God, you'reglowing.
You're glowing too.
Oh my gosh, everybody's glowing.
This is very fun.
And they had set up several,beds and, two bedroom.
They had a loft upstairs wherethey had a bed and then they had
(18:35):
a sex sofa, and then they hadthese three like movie theater
recliner chairs.
Mm-hmm.
Or, if you have a movie theaterin your house that were up
there, just sort of.
Facing the bed and the littlelounger, for people to just sit
and watch.
So that got kind of sexy and itseemed like it took a little
while for things to get rolling,but, two couples kind of start
(18:56):
got, he get hot and heavy in thehot tub.
I
Tramp (18:58):
was gonna say was there someone you noticed that was
just the fire starter?
Elle (19:02):
Well, actually from that previous, episode, if you listen
to it.
Daytona had brought to the roomMary and Peter, and we all
fooled around.
Well, they were there.
Oh, okay.
So it was nice.
I knew people and Leland and Docwere there, so I knew people,
which was kind of nice.
So I wasn't going in completelygreen clinging to the Italians
(19:25):
coattails.
And so I went around and got toknow people, spoke with one of
the hostess, for a while andeverything.
But when, mary went with onegentleman who was very well
built, very handsome.
We saw them go into the pool, sowe're all inside watching, and
he's got her up against thewall, and then they're making
out.
And then you could see they'refeeling things under the water
(19:47):
and then he turns her around andI mean, it was really going to
town.
And I'm just watching going.
Yep.
I'm turned on.
This is really, this is reallyhot.
And then Peter, went with his,the other guy's wife, and they
started fooling around in thepool and then everybody started
going upstairs.
Exactly.
You know, that was the firestarter right there.
Yeah.
Everyone started
Tramp (20:06):
to follow suit because once the ice is broken, right,
and it's like, okay, we can,
Elle (20:11):
yes,
Tramp (20:11):
proceed.
Elle (20:12):
And I looked at the Italian and said, I would like
to go.
Fuck you.
And so we went upstairs and, andhe's like, you don't have to
twist my arm L for sure.
Lead the way.
Lead the way.
So we went upstairs and he saton one of the, recliners and I
just s knelt down in front ofhim and, I'd made him take his
(20:32):
pants off and his shirt and hisneon shirts and, took his cock
out and, and got it hard and wassucking on him.
And, and also was having allkinds of fun.
Oh, yes, yes.
And then other people startedcoming up and, we realized that
we had a little audience, peoplewere watching, which that was
kind of fun.
That turned me on a little bit.
And then other people startedplaying on the bed and at one
(20:54):
point, there were, there was acouple and he's an airline
pilot.
His wife is a, a flightattendant.
And, she was on the sex loungerwith the host from the house.
Mm-hmm.
The host that owns the house, hewas fucking her and the husband
was there with his cock and shehad it in his, her hand and was
(21:16):
putting it in her mouth.
And I, I looked at the Italian,I said, I think she needs three.
And he's like, oh.
I think she might, well look atyou.
Go.
And so he went over there, he'slike, I think you should come
with, and I'm like, I'm on myway.
And so she's laying back she hasboth of their Cox in her hand
and his alternating putting himin her mouth and, having a
really great time.
(21:36):
Her husband started playing withmy breasts, which were.
I got some really good reactionsat that party.
You got a lot of nicecompliments on'em.
You,
Tramp (21:46):
you have amazing breasts.
There's Oh, thank you.
Elle (21:49):
Hmm.
They were worth every penny.
But he started playing and, Iheld his cock and started
stroking it.
And that was a nice one too.
Actually.
There were a lot of.
Really good sized men at thisevent, which was kind of fun.
Tramp (22:06):
So it almost sounds like it may have been a little
curated, which is always Oh, Ithink it, yes.
Yes.
Good for a house party, I think
Elle (22:12):
about that.
Yeah, for sure.
For sure.
I think, definitely that was abit of a recurring thing, but it
seems like a lot of.
Folks know each other well get,get together a lot, you know,
have parties, right?
Kind the, the regular yes.
Crew, if you'll, yes.
Yeah.
And there were a few new peoplethat were coming in so that kind
of started getting hot and heavyand he asked if we could go onto
(22:34):
the bed.
So actually we went into thebedroom and I went to go get on
the bed and realized, oh, thisis a wet spot.
Oh, there's a wet spot over herethat.
Mattress was soaked.
Soaked from the, the couple ofcouples that had been in
previously Uhhuh, and he broughtin two little hand towels.
And I'm like, yeah, it's notgonna cut it.
(22:54):
Yeah, that's not gonna cut it,it's not gonna cut it.
We're gonna go out there.
And so at that point, everybodyhad moved off the sex lounger.
Tramp (23:01):
I mean, really, who wants to be in the wet spot?
Elle (23:03):
Not, and not when the entire bed's a wet spot.
Ew.
But hey, you know what?
No.
I admire women who can squirt.
Mm-hmm.
Absolutely.
It is something I, I have rarelydone,
Tramp (23:15):
but, maybe a pro tip is if you are, take the precautions
and
Elle (23:20):
Right.
Tramp (23:21):
Put a little something down, so Yeah.
Elle (23:23):
Yeah.
It's not your bed,
Tramp (23:24):
so.
That bed will never be the same.
No.
Elle (23:28):
It's, it's scenes and things for sure.
I was watching for a while.
It was pretty sexy in there.
I'll give him that.
We did go over to the loungerwhich is funny.
Jay and I have had one for abouta year, and another couple
friend of ours gave it to us.
They were moving and downsizing.
Mm-hmm.
And they're like, we've neverused it.
We're like, yeah, sure.
We'll take it.
We also have never used it,right?
(23:49):
So, you know, it, it's
Tramp (23:50):
very good to put clothes on and it really ha
Elle (23:52):
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
So we need to fix that.
Definitely, now that I haveexperienced it, I definitely
think so.
We played there for quite awhile, in different positions.
Me bending over him, laying medown flat, and he was getting
really excited and he was veryfascinated with my breasts.
And, when he was getting closeto coming.
Mm-hmm.
And he's like, where do you wantme to come?
(24:13):
And I'm like, come on mybreasts.
He's like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
And the lounger was such that.
It was wider, so he couldn'treally straddle it to get close
to me, and I was up far enough.
Mm-hmm.
That he was far enough back.
He could only get to my belly.
So he's like, oh, I didn't makeit.
And we laughed.
I mean, you gotta laugh.
Oh yeah.
(24:33):
Yeah.
There were several timesthroughout the whole thing where
we were chuckling'cause Okay.
That was just a, that was justawkward, you
Tramp (24:38):
know?
You know when you're having justa fun, amazing experience.
I think laughter shoulddefinitely be a part of it.
Oh, oh, oh yeah.
Just lighthearted.
And it shouldn't be serious allthe time.
Totally agree.
There's a time and place for itto be hot and heavy and just
lusty and Right.
All that.
But when you truly can relax andthrow a chuckle in, you throw a
(24:58):
chuckle in.
It's, yeah.
Elle (25:01):
Yeah.
All in all, I, I think we wereone of the last to leave.
We had a great experience.
The Italian was sitting on thesofa with another couple, who
we'd been talking to.
Just such great energy.
I wanna give them some names.
Hold please.
Janet and Marty.
Okay, Janet and Marty.
Okay.
(25:21):
Were sitting on the sofa withthe Italian and I came around to
just see if we was ready to goand they were all sort of
playing with each other andeverything and made room for me.
And, Janet said, I, I think youneed to sit on that cock.
It was very hard and veryengorged.
And I'm like, well, sure.
(25:42):
So I thought, okay, well I'lljust sort of back into it and
squat down and then.
Bounce up and down on it.
But, if you've not done a lot ofsquats recently that.
It was very challenging, youknow, I'm like, ow, you know?
And I try to, after about
Tramp (25:59):
30 seconds, you're like,
Elle (26:00):
like, who?
Who, who not doing it for theright reason.
So I was like holding onto histhighs and then he was sort of
bouncing up and down.
I'm like, okay, that'll work.
I can hold myself here on fellforay, my body part's holding
on.
Tramp (26:13):
Sounds like you have a.
New exercise to add to yourworkout regimen?
Yeah, I actually
Elle (26:18):
did quads and glutes today for sure.
That was my work.
I felt it going up the stairs,so I know I worked it.
But, then we decided, okay, wellElla is losing her, her mojo and
turned me around.
So I was leaning up against theback of the sofa and he started,
fucking me from behind.
And Marty at that point.
(26:38):
He also was fascinated with mybreasts, as was she, and he was
like, oh, can I touch those?
And I'm like, yeah.
So he put himself, so I'mleaning forward.
He put himself under my breastand was.
Suckling.
Mm-hmm.
Like it was nobody's business.
And he was the happiest personin the world.
And at one point Janet leansover and, starts kissing me, and
(27:02):
then he's watching it frombelow.
And I'm just getting kind ofpushed into Marty and like, oh
gosh, we can't, we can't do thismuch longer.
We're gonna suffocate him.
He's like.
I'm fine.
Yes.
Looked up will die if he diedright now.
Would die happy.
He's like, I looked up and sawthe two of you kissing.
I'm fine.
(27:24):
Yeah.
So it was, a really great way toend the evening.
I think, we were driving homeabout three 15 in the morning,
and I cannot tell you the lasttime I was up at three 15, he
was pretty amped when we got inthe car.
He's like, are you tired?
I'm like, yeah.
Yeah, I am.
And he is like, yeah, you'vebeen going for hours, right?
(27:44):
And yeah, the party started ateight.
So, as we're driving, it wasabout a half hour drive to his
house.
And he starts getting tired andI'm like, okay, well I have to
stay awake'cause I'm gonna keepyou awake, you know?
Mm-hmm.
So, yeah, we made it and, andgot to bed and.
Wanted to have sex, but justwasn't gonna happen.
I was just too tired.
(28:05):
So slept till about nine 30,made sure we, had some goodbye
sex before I got on the plane.
And, really, really just had anamazing weekend.
I didn't even tell you aboutFriday night where we.
Uh, we must have orgasmed fourtimes.
So it was hot.
Just all hot, the reconnectingand, yeah.
(28:25):
You guys probably had pent up
Tramp (28:26):
energy Oh.
From the texting, even thoughyou said it was a lot more
flirty than
Elle (28:31):
Right.
Than, but we knew what the othercould do, so it wasn't like
there were expectations, but itwas very, a very comfortable
flow into it.
Mm-hmm.
And so I suppose if that makesme a hot wife.
I am a situational hot wife.
Okay,
Tramp (28:47):
fair enough.
Elle (28:47):
Yeah,
Tramp (28:49):
and also with an ongoing, I'm assuming an ongoing hall
pass from Jay.
Elle (28:55):
Yes, I think he would be fine.
Anytime.
I would like to, I'm invited outthere again.
I mean, I, I did have a numberof people saying, how often do
you get out to Orlando?
Which I said, well, up untilthis year, really never.
But, I've been here four timesthis year, so odds me coming
back are pretty good.
Right.
I think it was Marty, he's like,I will buy you a ticket.
You can come out here, anytimewe wanna see you again.
(29:17):
So I, I felt really good aboutit.
Everybody was so nice and, warmand welcoming and, and you don't
always find that in a partywhere you don't really know
anybody.
If it's a group of people wherethey have.
Known each other for a number ofyears and they have a comfort
level and all that.
But they had said, the Italianis always welcome.
They were thrilled that hebrought someone with him.
(29:38):
And so I think all in all, weall had a good time.
Tramp (29:41):
I think when you are in this community, when you're
respected, first and foremost,people are genuinely happy.
Yeah.
When, you find a connection.
Right.
Whether it be temporary Right.
Or more long term.
Elle (29:54):
Right.
Exactly.
Exactly.
And, I told Jay when I camehome, I said, the sex was great.
The connections were wonderful.
We had wonderful conversationand laughed a lot, which is so
important to me.
Mm-hmm.
But that it seemed like.
It was like an affair.
'cause he wasn't there.
But it didn't, because therewasn't that emotion that goes
(30:17):
along with it.
I mean, I, I care for him.
Of course, he's a good man.
Of course he's a good man.
But, I didn't leave going, oh,he flew off to Puerto Rico to
visit his girl down there fortwo weeks.
You know, he's having a greattime.
I love that for him.
Mm-hmm.
He's got, he's got ladies allover the place and I don't doubt
it'cause he is.
He is a great, wonderful,respectful man.
(30:39):
Fantastic.
And I think we need more ofthem.
And you like that?
Mm-hmm.
You know, you're the same kindof a person and I think that
it's fabulous when we can, havepeople that husbands can feel
comfortable with and notthreatened by.
And, the wives can enjoythemselves and sort of let loose
a little bit.
Tramp (30:56):
Well, very well said.
Well, El thank you for.
Sharing that.
Yeah, you're welcome.
That was very sexy.
Elle (31:02):
Mm.
I try, I try.
I'm getting, trying to getbetter at the descriptions
without stumbling and beingawkward, so
Tramp (31:10):
You're doing fantastic.
Elle (31:11):
Thanks hun.
Tramp (31:12):
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Well guys, we do have an a MAthis week.
You
Elle (32:31):
said that, and you have not shared with me yet what it
is.
No, I have not.
So this is gonna be new for metoo.
Have so no prep here.
Tramp (32:39):
So this is from, a listener we're gonna call them
dl.
And here's the question.
Okay.
We are new to the lifestyle andlove it.
She wants it all the time and heneeds to get to know people
first.
Mm-hmm.
Uh, I get
Elle (32:57):
that.
Tramp (32:57):
Yep.
We have found that it can bedifficult to approach people in
social situations like at theranch and, and that Cassidy,
which is like SLS or SDC, it's aswinger social media dating
site.
Yeah.
Dating site, is not super userfriendly.
They're not sure if these arethe only avenues.
(33:19):
So that's kind of one question.
Okay.
The follow up is how do you allmeet other couples to befriend
and maybe play with?
Elle (33:28):
Okay.
Well, let's see.
Other ways to meet people.
I mean, there used to be ways.
I think people sometimes go onTinder.
And they'll have a profile andkind of, I know I had a
girlfriend I had lunch with andshe was saying, yeah, it was so
hard to date.
I kept getting these guysapproaching me and we'd be
(33:48):
talking and he is like, well,I'm actually married and we were
looking for somebody to join usand she definitely was not
interested.
So people do go that direction.
I know there's, FetLife for moreKinkier, BDSM, type of person.
Mm-hmm.
But it seems like that group is.
FA bit more open to meetingother people, but for us, it
(34:10):
really has been going to theranch or if we, travel and go to
an event somewhere.
Once you start meeting people,especially from other states
and.
They might invite you out forsomething.
We did go, to Houston once andwent to, well, we went to the
purgatory.
And that was a takeover program?
It was a takeover, yeah, it wasa takeover in Houston, which was
(34:31):
very fun.
And but before that, a couple wehad met at the ranch.
We had gone down to visit them,they invited us down.
They're like, why don't you comevisit?
We're like, why don't we?
Mm-hmm.
You know, so you get to do that,and then you meet other people.
So there were another couplethat we met at Purgatory and
we're gonna see them thisweekend for a house party, and
you keep those connections.
So, I would say keep trying onCassidy and getting used to it
(34:54):
and, look around at otherprofiles and send a little note
and, try to read their profileand pull something from the
profile.
Sure.
So many people just go, hi.
Yeah.
Low, low effort.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Make a little effort.
Show that you read their profilebecause there may be something
on there that is a real goodconnection for you.
Mm-hmm.
Oh my gosh.
We were feeling the same way, orwe like to do the same thing
(35:14):
and, when you go on those,they'll, post where there's
parties, so there's a group inColorado, and they throw hotel
takeover parties for theholidays or for different
events.
And so you'll see that there'sother places you can go besides,
going to the ranch or going to aspecific place, to try and meet
somebody.
And that might be a great placeto just sort of get a feel for
(35:38):
it.
Mm-hmm.
And, and make a few friends, ifyou stay and you have a hotel
room, you don't have to go playwith somebody.
Sure.
You know, you never have to.
You never have to, and when wetook the pressure off.
Of trying to have sex withpeople and built more of a,
let's just meet a new persontoday.
Right?
Let's meet two new people.
Make that connection.
Let's get to know somebody thatwe've met.
(35:59):
Let's get to know them a littlebit better.
And that's the focus for theevening.
That takes all that pressureoff.
The rest of it works its wayout.
Mm-hmm.
You find your way to, find thatconnection with a couple of
people or an individual just tryto meet some new people.
Sure.
Just like they did.
I know Jay met them at the ranchone Sunday, and just try to meet
one more person,
Tramp (36:18):
I would simplify that a little bit by saying No, no, no.
Because that came out very well.
Because
Elle (36:25):
l you spoke a long time.
No.
Tramp (36:28):
The most successful people I feel in the lifestyle
are ones that are outgoing.
Yeah.
So you can be a gorgeous couple,but if you're wallflowers Yeah.
Either people are going to beintimidated to talk to you.
Elle (36:43):
Oh, yeah.
Tramp (36:44):
Or we've all seen those couples that give off new vibes.
Elle (36:48):
Yeah.
Tramp (36:49):
At any given club.
Mm-hmm.
The ranch being our local cluband.
I make a point to just welcome,just make them, and I know Jay
is phenomenal at just being ableto spark up that conversation.
He
Elle (37:01):
really is good.
So
Tramp (37:02):
you have to almost get comfortable being uncomfortable
and just.
Being out there.
Elle (37:08):
Yeah.
Tramp (37:08):
Talking to people.
Don't be afraid to say hi.
Don't be afraid to pay thecompliment.
Elle (37:13):
Yeah.
That's always a good in with,somebody is, you know,'cause
people make an effort when theygo or find the people that make
an effort and go up and give acompliment.
Or we've had any number ofpeople just come up hi, we're
new.
Right.
Oh, good.
Did you get the tour?
Do you have any questions?
You know, that kind of a thing.
Can we introduce you to somepeople?
Right.
Most people are willing tointroduce you to somebody else,
and if they're not, go findsomeone who will.
Tramp (37:35):
Sure.
Elle (37:35):
You know,
Tramp (37:36):
and for the veterans and, we happen to know some locals
who are very good at this.
When you see that couple who mayseem a little timid, the deer in
headlights look.
Yeah.
Yes.
Go up and say hi.
Just say hi.
Just say hi.
Elle (37:48):
Yeah.
It's easy.
Tramp (37:50):
And open up that line of conversation.
Mm-hmm.
Now, granted, I admit I'm notthe greatest at small talk.
Just getting out there, meetingpeople, meeting people.
You're a shyer.
Yes.
Yes I am.
Elle (37:59):
You are.
Yes.
That's why you hang out with us,
Tramp (38:03):
but you have to be willing to put yourself out
there.
Now granted as coming from thesingle male lens, it is, yes.
It's, it's different becausepeople automatically.
It's almost put their guards up,raise their shields.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
'cause you know, single guysonly want one, you know, just
Right.
Very broadly generalizing, but
Elle (38:25):
Yeah.
Tramp (38:25):
But instead of just Yeah.
Being social and luckily I havea lot of friends.
Elle (38:30):
Yeah.
You came into, your singlemanhood with already knowing
some people.
Mm-hmm.
Not everybody gets that.
And, I think it is.
You know, having someunderstanding and some, some
empathy for that single male.
Yeah.
That's looking a little bitoutta sorts, they need to make
some effort, but we also needto, at least give them a chance.
(38:50):
Mm-hmm.
Tramp (38:51):
But I will admit being with a sexy woman, it is so much
easier to meet other couples.
Yeah.
Having seen both sides of theequation, if you will.
Elle (39:02):
Right.
Tramp (39:03):
But another thing that was touched on Yeah.
That I really wanna explore justbriefly here, is when one person
in the couple is very, if theysee someone they're attracted
to, they can go with it and theycan go play where the other half
needs that cerebral connectionin order to get the juices
(39:27):
flowing.
Elle (39:28):
Yes.
We, had that situation oncewhere.
Jay had been talking with them,so there was already a
connection and they were allvery touchy by the time I came
up.
And she became just very, Ithink through association with
Jay, you know, became touchy,touchy with me.
And I'm like, okay, yeah, I'mnot there yet.
I'm gonna, yeah, I'm, I'm not, Ineed a little more, and to
acknowledge that, and maybethat's the case where, you hold
(39:50):
off for that night.
It's like, you know what?
We'd like to have dinner, right?
Why don't we meet here fordinner?
Well, let's go somewhere andhave dinner.
And just get to know each othera little bit and see where we're
at.
Mm-hmm.
But there's plenty of places,that are a little bit more, DTF
down to fuck.
Mm-hmm.
And, I've heard that nowactually speaking, talking about
it this weekend with.
The Italian, trape in FortLauderdale, their, situation is
(40:14):
set up.
You walk in, there's, there's abig dance floor, people are
dancing.
You wanna go into the play area,and I think it's, I'm starting
to decide it's a Florida thing.
You've gotta strip down tonothing when you go in there.
So most people, it's like, greatmeet to, you know, nice to meet
you.
You are hot.
Let's go get our clothes off.
And even our friends, the affixswingers who had moved from
there would tell us the samething.
(40:35):
You're like, yeah, Colorado.
It's a, it's a much slower role.
People wanna get to know youbefore you get somewhere.
No, it's not always the case.
But in a lot of cases, it, itis.
We wanna, we wanna build alittle bit of a relationship to,
to have that attraction
Tramp (40:51):
right.
And I think there arecircumstances, at least in the
lifestyle.
Like resorts and cruises whereyou're on a time crunch, you're,
you're on a time crunch almost.
Elle (41:01):
Yeah.
Tramp (41:02):
But really getting back to it, it's my personal belief
then in the lifestyle, yourpartner should be the most
important person.
Yes.
And so if, one partner needsthat cerebral, you both have to
give and take a little bit asyou become more comfortable.
Elle (41:20):
Right.
Tramp (41:21):
And.
I found myself in a lot ofcircumstances historically just
rolling with the punches, and Iwas okay with that.
Yeah.
But the traditional logic is youmove as fast as the slowest
person?
Elle (41:33):
Yes.
I was about to say that.
Yeah.
It's the slowest commondenominator.
Mm-hmm.
And that, helps preserve yourrelationship because if you push
somebody too fast, then theywill have resentment.
They may not show it to you,they may not tell you about it,
but it's, it's underlying thereas like, wow.
Didn't even take intoconsideration how I feel about
(41:54):
this.
Right.
And unless you've discussedahead of time having a hall pass
or being a hot wife mm-hmm.
Then, you really need to respectthat person that you're going
home with.
There will be other times, therewill be other times, especially
if you talk about it.
And you've respected how theyfeel the next time.
It's like, okay, well you, wenthome with me when I was ready to
go.
(42:15):
I'm willing to put myself outthere just a little bit more.
Yeah,
Tramp (42:17):
I'm, I'm willing to get a little uncomfortable this time.
Right goes, it's not gonnaoptimal, but let's see where it
goes.
Right again.
Communication.
It's all about communication.
Yeah.
Yeah.
My favorite word, I think, well,this has been amazing.
Yeah.
Elle (42:35):
Wow.
We were really struggling whilewe were having dinner.
Wow.
What are we gonna talk about?
Right.
I thought that turned out prettywell.
Tramp (42:41):
It turned out amazing
Elle (42:42):
if we say so ourselves.
Tramp (42:45):
But everyone, we are just so thankful just based on the
downloads, we are reaching a lotof people and.
Not just here in Denver andColorado, but all across the
country and even all around theworld in some cases.
Elle (42:59):
I know I've said it before, but that is one of my
favorite things to do is to seewhat obscure country.
One person from there hasdownloaded our episode.
Tramp (43:09):
Mm-hmm.
Elle (43:10):
Yay.
Tramp (43:10):
Actually outside of Colorado.
I have a request.
Our second biggest market isChicago.
So I would love to get an a MAfrom someone in Chicago and I
know you guys are listening.
Elle (43:21):
Yes, please.
I think that you know what, weneed to call out a city every
time.
I like that.
To see who will send ussomething.
Work with us people.
Yes.
Work with us.
Help
Tramp (43:31):
us.
Help us help you.
Let's help you.
Well guys, thank you just somuch for coming along.
Feel free to send us an emailand we are unapologetic
swingers@gmail.com and also ourwebsite is
www.unapologeticswingers.com.
But if you really want to helpus, is just whatever podcast
(43:54):
platform you're listening on,leave us a review that helps
out.
More than anything, to beperfectly honest.
Elle (44:01):
We really appreciate it.
Until next time, I'm Elle
Tramp (44:05):
and I'm the tramp.
Elle (44:06):
Be sexy,
Tramp (44:07):
be confident.
Elle (44:08):
Be unapologetic.
Welcome back to Unapologetic Swingers.
I'm El and I'm the Tramp,
Tramp (00:08):
We just want to thank you from the bottom of our hearts
for your continued interactionwith us and listening to us and
all the reviews.
It's just been amazing to haveyou come on this journey with
myself and Jay and l and really.
Explore the lifestyle as weoften say, the highs and lows
(00:31):
and everything in between.
Elle (00:33):
And to be open to hearing our stories and meeting the
people that we know and talkingabout all the different aspects.
We do try to come up with someinteresting ideas of, what to
talk about.
Sometimes it's a struggle andsometimes it comes very easily.
Sometimes you have dinner andyou sit around and talk about
it, and then what you thoughtyou were gonna talk about turns
into something completelydifferent.
Tramp (00:53):
That's very true.
So Elle, what are we talkingabout today?
Elle (00:58):
Well, today we are talking about the difference between a
hot wife and a hall pass.
Tramp (01:05):
Okay.
Elle (01:06):
We've, both come across some situations in the last year
I know I've said over and overagain, I'm not a hot wife, and
then I seem to keep findingmyself in hot wife situations.
So as we were discussing this weeven looked up definitions of
what each were and how does thatapply And, oh, maybe I was wrong
or.
Tramp (01:27):
Well, why don't we start kind of with the definitions
where we talk about a hot wifeor quite frankly, a hot husband,
if you will, right?
And kind of what that entails.
Elle (01:40):
Okay.
So, according to Mr.
Google.
It could be Mrs.
Google.
What do I know?
The term hot wife refers to amarried woman who engages in
sexual relationships with othermen, with the full knowledge and
consent of her husband, whotypically remains monogamous
himself.
Now, we also know that that'snot true.
It goes on to say thisarrangement is part of ethically
(02:03):
non-monogamous or swingingdynamics, and differs from
cheating.
Cheating because it's openlyagreed upon by both partners.
Tramp (02:11):
AKA communication.
Elle (02:13):
Oh yeah.
Don't we love that?
Tramp (02:15):
Whereas I think a hall pass is going to be very similar
in essence that it's anagreement between the husband
and wife typically, where one orpotentially both are granted
permission to engage in sexualactivity with someone outside of
their relationship.
(02:36):
And it can be ongoing or.
A temporary, just as it sounds,a hall pass.
It's a one time thing.
Elle (02:42):
Sure.
And if you're in the vanillaworld, it's, this is my
celebrity crush and it's my hallpass and I ever get that
opportunity to meet that personand they wanna take me and pull
my pants down and do all sortsof fun things to me, I get to do
that.
'cause my husband said it wouldbe okay.
Mm-hmm.
I like our versions better.
Me too.
Tramp (03:02):
And I think we're going to bring a very interesting
dynamic because I've been on oneside of the equation.
Elle (03:09):
Yes.
Tramp (03:10):
And you've had especially recently experiences where
you've been on the other side ofthe equation.
Yes.
And we just go from there.
Elle (03:18):
Well, I think we start with you.
Tramp (03:21):
Okay.
So keep in mind everyone, thatthis is coming from the single
male perspective.
Mm-hmm.
And I have had interactions withassorted hot wives.
This is a situation where theirhusband or significant other was
fully aware and we were able tohave some wonderful experiences
(03:45):
with their full support andpermission.
Elle (03:48):
Right.
And actually probablyencouragement.
Yes, I know in my case it wasencouragement, but we, we know
that about Jay.
Tramp (03:56):
Very true.
Very true.
But by the same token, I have totreat those experiences with the
utmost respect.
Elle (04:07):
Yes.
Tramp (04:08):
Because I am the outsider.
I'm not there to take anyone'splace or anything.
I'm there to fulfill a fantasyand to allow, in this case, the
sexy woman to just have fun andenjoy and get lost in the
moment.
Elle (04:26):
Right.
And sometimes it's a differentexperience when your husband's
not right there.
It isn't so much that they'rethere hovering over But just
having that separation of himnot being in the room.
Mm-hmm.
Not being anywhere near it, andthat woman can just.
Relax and look into your eyesand get to know you and feel all
(04:49):
the feels to, well the feels asyou feel.
And you had your firstexperience was, you were newly
single.
You've not been single in thelifestyle, and you had met a
couple and had an opportunity,hit it off and.
I leave it to you.
Tramp (05:06):
Very true.
And this was early on.
You're absolutely correct.
Where we actually had severalexperiences and oftentimes with
these things, they do run theircourse.
Mm-hmm.
It's not necessarily an ongoingrelationship or experience or
(05:27):
whatnot.
But there, were times where sheand I played one-on-one.
Mm-hmm.
And it was amazing and sexy.
And you're right, immersive, Ithink is is the best word.
Yeah.
Oh, that's a great
Elle (05:40):
word.
I like that.
Tramp (05:42):
And.
There was another time where hewas there and involved.
So it was much more of basicallya MFM Right.
Where she was the focus and wewere there for her and to
explore and fulfill herfantasies to that respect.
Elle (06:04):
Right, right.
And just as a side note, we havefriends who.
When asked if they've ever donean MFM stated that, oh no, I
wouldn't do that.
That's too much work.
It's not too much work.
Just so you know, you get toenjoy two wonderful men paying
attention to you and taking youfrom different angles, and
(06:26):
that's always.
Really, really nice.
Tramp (06:29):
And just being the center of attention.
Yeah.
It's not necessarily putting inwork, you're gonna do what you
wanna do.
Oh, for sure.
If you want to give a doubleblow job, you give a double blow
job.
Oh, I
Elle (06:38):
do.
I do want to.
Tramp (06:41):
But if you want to just lay there and some women's
fantasies.
Just to be serviced and somecould be just to be used.
Just fuck the shit outta me.
Right.
Elle (06:52):
Either end what doesn't matter.
Go for it.
Yeah.
Tramp (06:55):
And that's their wheelhouse.
That's what they want and that'swhat it's all about.
She is the focus.
Elle (07:01):
Right?
Exactly.
Exactly.
So, what did you find were theboundaries with this first
experience where, you had tokind of navigate some things.
Right.
And it was,
Tramp (07:14):
admittedly it was brand new to me as well.
Yeah.
And as I mentioned earlier, youhave to treat these situations
with the utmost respect and beable not only to acknowledge
their partner, their husband,and make sure that everything is
copacetic and everything isabove board.
Elle (07:32):
Mm-hmm.
Tramp (07:33):
But I really enjoyed just those one-on-one.
I was able to get to know her asa person.
Elle (07:43):
Yeah.
Tramp (07:43):
And it was, a lot of fun just being able to explore and
find out what turned that personon and, the sights and the
sounds.
Mm-hmm.
Everything, what they liked andwhat they didn't like, and that
was amazing for me.
Elle (07:58):
Yeah.
Yeah.
I think that's great.
I mean, it's a safe situation.
You don't have the pressure of,oh, is this gonna turn into
something?
Or, that first date feeling orwhatever this is, well this is
not necessarily mine, but I getto enjoy it tonight.
Tramp (08:11):
Very true.
Elle (08:11):
Yeah.
Everybody's happy.
Yay.
And we know people who, they'llgo out to dinner on a date and
then they'll.
Wind up at the ranch and Sure.
It's like, oh, where's so andso?
Oh no, he's at home.
I'm on a date.
We see that a lot with a lot ofpeople.
And, for a while I was like, ah,you know, I think that's great
for them.
And one couple, they've beentogether since high school and
(08:34):
that was.
Not yesterday and they'd notbeen with anyone else.
Mm-hmm.
So, you look at that and theyboth go on dates.
So, I think we should call itthe hot husband.
When we started looking it upand went down the rabbit hole
for definitions, there reallywasn't one except some weird
definitions.
But I think it's the same thingwhere, you know, have permission
from the wife to go out on adate, take another woman out,
(08:55):
take her to the ranch, godownstairs, play a little, and
come home to them.
And they love.
That they're getting thatopportunity because they didn't
get to sow those oats when theywere in their twenties, you
know?
Very
Tramp (09:06):
true.
And I think the other half ofthat equation is the partner at
home.
Chances are they want to knowabout it.
It is actually exciting and ahuge turn on for them to have
their partner come home.
And not only.
The reclamation sex, which I'msure is just off the charts.
(09:26):
Oh my gosh, yes.
But a lot of people will reallyget off on almost like a play by
play or a blow by blow.
Elle (09:33):
Yeah.
It's like your own personal porn
Tramp (09:34):
that you just get to hear.
Right.
And as we've heard, a lot ofpeople will say, my husband or
my wife is my favorite pornstar.
Elle (09:41):
Yes.
Right,
Tramp (09:42):
because you can fantasize about that person.
Yeah.
And you can really get some goodstories going in your head.
Elle (09:49):
Oh, I'll tell you this much when we'll be watching
porn.
And Jay's like, oh yeah, thereyou are.
You're doing that.
You're taking those cocks,you're doing, you know, and he's
already put me in it, whetherI'm in it or not, you know?
And it's like, I'm alright withthat.
Do that all day long.
Little healthy fantasy there.
Yeah.
And then what else?
Tramp (10:07):
And building off of that El, I know you've had a couple
recent experiences, even thispast weekend.
Elle (10:14):
Yeah.
Tramp (10:14):
Where you had a very sexy adventure.
And if you're willing to, we'dlove to hear a little bit about
it.
Elle (10:24):
Well, I don't mind sharing.
I do it all the time.
No.
Um, yes, it was unexpected, butit wasn't'cause we had to get a
plane ticket.
But it came about in anunexpected way.
If you've listened to our lastfew episodes, about a month ago,
I went to Orlando to meet mysister-in-law's brother.
(10:48):
We're not gonna get into thatagain.
We've told that story already.
And while I was there, I met avery lovely Italian man and we
really hit it off and, had agreat time.
That weekend I played a coupleof times.
Mm-hmm.
Um, on the second night, that Iwas there.
He and, and our friend Dee, thathad brought him, took me to the
(11:09):
playroom at Secrets.
Okay.
And had their way with me on thesex wing.
So that was great.
Tramp (11:15):
Now are we going to give this gentleman a, an apologetic
swinger code name?
Yes.
The Italian.
The Italian just, I'm gonnaleave it at that
Elle (11:23):
until he gives me permission to do something else.
Oh, fair.
That's fair.
Tramp (11:27):
Would you do us a favor and maybe just a brief
description of him?
Elle (11:31):
Oh, yes, I will do that.
So, he is a tall gentleman.
He's like, you and Jay, maybe 61, 6 2, somewhere in there.
Okay.
Lean like you.
I know he plays pickleball onWednesdays.
I don't know what else he does,but he's in pretty good shape.
Age appropriate for me.
He has.
(11:52):
Lovely blue eyes and a supersexy accent.
Italian accent, and great hair.
It's really good hair.
But, and, a very substantialcock.
Okay.
How's that for a description?
That'll
Tramp (12:08):
work.
Elle (12:09):
Okay.
Tramp (12:09):
What is it about accents?
'cause I'm much the same way.
Whether it's an English accentright?
Or whatnot.
Something is about accents isjust.
Intrinsically sexy,
Elle (12:19):
right?
He's as sexy as his accent, isit that feeling of, being with
somebody that you wouldn'tnormally be with?
You know, except for ccircumstances, granted he's been
here about 20 years.
But, that, that accent's stillthere, and it just, yeah, it
just works.
He just wanna, he just wannalisten to it for a while.
(12:39):
Yes.
It's really good.
So he and I had hit it off and,Jay and he had, been texting
back and forth and everything,and I'm like, well, you could
tell him, he could text me ifyou're okay with that.
And, jay made that happen.
And so, we would start textingand then it was flirting and,
send sexy pictures every now andthen and just talking about
stuff.
And he's like, man, I'd, I'dreally love for you to come back
(13:00):
to Orlando.
Mm-hmm.
For house party.
He gets invited to a lot ofhouse parties.
He's one of those wonderfulsingle men.
Who you can have at any partybecause they are a delight to
have there.
People want him there, he goesout on a lot of dates and, and
has a good time.
But when you're with him, youfeel like he's with you.
Mm-hmm.
So it's nice and we had beentalking back and forth and Jay's
(13:22):
like, well, what do you think?
And I'm like, well, might bekind of fun to go back there and
go to a house party so I, youdon't have to twist my arm.
Right.
Well, you know, how do you feel?
You gotta pay for the ticket.
And he's like, I'm happy to payfor that.
So, he saw that we were bothreally hitting it off.
And honestly, it's not like thetext messages were super sexual.
You know, they were just flirty.
(13:42):
Except for every now and then,it did get a little bit, but
not, it wasn't like the mainpart of it.
So I'm very, very cerebral andI'm not gonna be that way.
Yeah, yeah.
But
Tramp (13:49):
you never wanted to get boring,
Elle (13:50):
right?
No, exactly.
Exactly.
Then he brought up, he said,yeah, some really good friends
of mine are having a house partyand this a lot of sexy people,
and do you think you could comeout?
I would love to have you comeout.
I'm like, for the whole weekend,he's like, yeah, you can stay
with me at my house, and thenwe'll go over there and, come
back and I'm like, okay.
So I talked with Jay about itand looked up tickets and said,
okay, I, we can do this.
(14:12):
And, got the tickets and.
A lot of built up excitement aswe were coming up on it and went
out there last Friday, and that
Tramp (14:21):
pent up energy must have been just something else.
Yeah.
Elle (14:24):
We spent a lot of time, once he picked me up at the
airport, we spent a lot of timewhile we were eating lunch and
having a glass of wine justtalking with each other.
We talked about our kids, wetalked about, where he's here,
he's lived, where I've lived, soit was definitely get to know
you a little bit better.
Tramp (14:37):
And, and it makes you feel, just as you mentioned, you
being very cerebral.
It gives you that additionalconnection.
Connection that turn on insteadof just saying, Hey, you're hot.
Let's, let's go.
Fuck.
Elle (14:50):
Right?
I would feel so awkward stayingat his place for, two and a half
days.
Going, we didn't talk aboutanything.
I have to have that.
Mm-hmm.
It's important.
So, we wound up sitting on thecouch and talking for a little
while longer, and then thingsstarted kind of to, to heat up a
little bit.
We started kissing and makingout and they kind of went from
there.
Tramp (15:09):
Now.
At up to this point would youconsider yourself a hot wife?
Elle (15:14):
Well, gosh, now based on our definition here.
Tramp (15:18):
Yeah.
Elle (15:18):
Hey, can I be a situational hot wife?
Tramp (15:21):
I don't see why not.
Okay,
Elle (15:23):
good.
Then I am a situational hotwife.
If it's a specific person, aspecific situation, then yes.
Mm-hmm.
I would say I am.
Okay.
Wow.
Okay.
That was unexpected.
Yeah.
Tramp (15:36):
It's not you and Jay's soul dynamic.
No.
Because you, you still go out ondates with other couples, you
mm-hmm.
If there's a four wayconnection, you still all play.
Yes.
And all of the traditional, Iguess, trappings or definitions
of swinging, but this is just anadditional.
(15:57):
Flavor that is now in yourwheelhouse.
Elle (16:00):
Yeah.
Yeah.
And like I said, I, it was veryunexpected and, I certainly
wouldn't have thought I'd flyout to Orlando a second time to
have a fun, sexy weekend withoutJay.
Mm-hmm.
Um, and, it really, the comfortlevel was so.
Good that, it was just supereasy to spend the time together,
(16:21):
to fool around, to have sex onthe sofa, to, go to the party.
I mean, the party was amazing.
A beautiful house with.
Lovely people.
Mm-hmm.
I think there were maybe 30people there.
Oh wow.
Yeah, it was a pretty, I mean,
Tramp (16:36):
I love a good house party.
Yeah.
It was, especially when everyoneis sexy.
Elle (16:39):
Yeah.
They, and everybody was, got toknow everybody on SDC and then
like that Friday night when wewent out to dinner, we were
going through it and he wastelling me once that he knew
and.
Had connections with, or who heplayed pickle ball with on
Wednesdays.
Right.
And, all the things.
'cause he's been around thesepeople for a while, so most of
the people that were there, heknew.
Now there were some that didn't.
So, you have the, question fromsomebody, oh, I just met your
(17:02):
husband.
I'm like, oh no, you mm-hmm.
He's not my husband.
My husband's in Colorado.
Right.
Which then they thought he wason a trip in Colorado and
thought it was weird.
Wait, you live in Colorado,right?
And why are you here?
Tramp (17:13):
Well, for it may not be necessarily in their wheelhouse
or.
It's just not their thing.
So it, it is a foreign concept,if you will.
Yeah.
So the one thing that came tomind right now with the Italian
is since this is his localcommunity
Elle (17:30):
mm-hmm.
Tramp (17:31):
Did you at any point ever feel any.
I guess conflict or anythingcoming from other people that
he, may have played with beforeand maybe the wife was
expecting?
Well, no, the Italians, I waslooking forward to the Italian
tonight, and the Italians herewas someone else, and I don't
know how I feel about that.
Elle (17:51):
I didn't get any of that.
No, everybody was reallywelcoming.
There were three ladies thatbasically hosted it was at one,
one house.
But they, and their, spouses, Ifound out, I mean, had spent
days getting the place ready.
Like this was their first houseparty.
Oh, wow.
And they knocked it out of thepark.
I mean, the food was great, allthe little snackies and,
everybody, it was BYOB and theyhad set up, the theme was rave.
(18:14):
Okay.
And so everybody kind of worerave wear, so it was a lot of
neon.
And they had put blue lights outon the back patio.
So when we're all out there andthe light, you know, it got
dark.
I'm like, oh my God, you'reglowing.
You're glowing too.
Oh my gosh, everybody's glowing.
This is very fun.
And they had set up several,beds and, two bedroom.
They had a loft upstairs wherethey had a bed and then they had
(18:35):
a sex sofa, and then they hadthese three like movie theater
recliner chairs.
Mm-hmm.
Or, if you have a movie theaterin your house that were up
there, just sort of.
Facing the bed and the littlelounger, for people to just sit
and watch.
So that got kind of sexy and itseemed like it took a little
while for things to get rolling,but, two couples kind of start
(18:56):
got, he get hot and heavy in thehot tub.
I
Tramp (18:58):
was gonna say was there someone you noticed that was
just the fire starter?
Elle (19:02):
Well, actually from that previous, episode, if you listen
to it.
Daytona had brought to the roomMary and Peter, and we all
fooled around.
Well, they were there.
Oh, okay.
So it was nice.
I knew people and Leland and Docwere there, so I knew people,
which was kind of nice.
So I wasn't going in completelygreen clinging to the Italians
(19:25):
coattails.
And so I went around and got toknow people, spoke with one of
the hostess, for a while andeverything.
But when, mary went with onegentleman who was very well
built, very handsome.
We saw them go into the pool, sowe're all inside watching, and
he's got her up against thewall, and then they're making
out.
And then you could see they'refeeling things under the water
(19:47):
and then he turns her around andI mean, it was really going to
town.
And I'm just watching going.
Yep.
I'm turned on.
This is really, this is reallyhot.
And then Peter, went with his,the other guy's wife, and they
started fooling around in thepool and then everybody started
going upstairs.
Exactly.
You know, that was the firestarter right there.
Yeah.
Everyone started
Tramp (20:06):
to follow suit because once the ice is broken, right,
and it's like, okay, we can,
Elle (20:11):
yes,
Tramp (20:11):
proceed.
Elle (20:12):
And I looked at the Italian and said, I would like
to go.
Fuck you.
And so we went upstairs and, andhe's like, you don't have to
twist my arm L for sure.
Lead the way.
Lead the way.
So we went upstairs and he saton one of the, recliners and I
just s knelt down in front ofhim and, I'd made him take his
(20:32):
pants off and his shirt and hisneon shirts and, took his cock
out and, and got it hard and wassucking on him.
And, and also was having allkinds of fun.
Oh, yes, yes.
And then other people startedcoming up and, we realized that
we had a little audience, peoplewere watching, which that was
kind of fun.
That turned me on a little bit.
And then other people startedplaying on the bed and at one
(20:54):
point, there were, there was acouple and he's an airline
pilot.
His wife is a, a flightattendant.
And, she was on the sex loungerwith the host from the house.
Mm-hmm.
The host that owns the house, hewas fucking her and the husband
was there with his cock and shehad it in his, her hand and was
(21:16):
putting it in her mouth.
And I, I looked at the Italian,I said, I think she needs three.
And he's like, oh.
I think she might, well look atyou.
Go.
And so he went over there, he'slike, I think you should come
with, and I'm like, I'm on myway.
And so she's laying back she hasboth of their Cox in her hand
and his alternating putting himin her mouth and, having a
really great time.
(21:36):
Her husband started playing withmy breasts, which were.
I got some really good reactionsat that party.
You got a lot of nicecompliments on'em.
You,
Tramp (21:46):
you have amazing breasts.
There's Oh, thank you.
Elle (21:49):
Hmm.
They were worth every penny.
But he started playing and, Iheld his cock and started
stroking it.
And that was a nice one too.
Actually.
There were a lot of.
Really good sized men at thisevent, which was kind of fun.
Tramp (22:06):
So it almost sounds like it may have been a little
curated, which is always Oh, Ithink it, yes.
Yes.
Good for a house party, I think
Elle (22:12):
about that.
Yeah, for sure.
For sure.
I think, definitely that was abit of a recurring thing, but it
seems like a lot of.
Folks know each other well get,get together a lot, you know,
have parties, right?
Kind the, the regular yes.
Crew, if you'll, yes.
Yeah.
And there were a few new peoplethat were coming in so that kind
of started getting hot and heavyand he asked if we could go onto
(22:34):
the bed.
So actually we went into thebedroom and I went to go get on
the bed and realized, oh, thisis a wet spot.
Oh, there's a wet spot over herethat.
Mattress was soaked.
Soaked from the, the couple ofcouples that had been in
previously Uhhuh, and he broughtin two little hand towels.
And I'm like, yeah, it's notgonna cut it.
(22:54):
Yeah, that's not gonna cut it,it's not gonna cut it.
We're gonna go out there.
And so at that point, everybodyhad moved off the sex lounger.
Tramp (23:01):
I mean, really, who wants to be in the wet spot?
Elle (23:03):
Not, and not when the entire bed's a wet spot.
Ew.
But hey, you know what?
No.
I admire women who can squirt.
Mm-hmm.
Absolutely.
It is something I, I have rarelydone,
Tramp (23:15):
but, maybe a pro tip is if you are, take the precautions
and
Elle (23:20):
Right.
Tramp (23:21):
Put a little something down, so Yeah.
Elle (23:23):
Yeah.
It's not your bed,
Tramp (23:24):
so.
That bed will never be the same.
No.
Elle (23:28):
It's, it's scenes and things for sure.
I was watching for a while.
It was pretty sexy in there.
I'll give him that.
We did go over to the loungerwhich is funny.
Jay and I have had one for abouta year, and another couple
friend of ours gave it to us.
They were moving and downsizing.
Mm-hmm.
And they're like, we've neverused it.
We're like, yeah, sure.
We'll take it.
We also have never used it,right?
(23:49):
So, you know, it, it's
Tramp (23:50):
very good to put clothes on and it really ha
Elle (23:52):
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
So we need to fix that.
Definitely, now that I haveexperienced it, I definitely
think so.
We played there for quite awhile, in different positions.
Me bending over him, laying medown flat, and he was getting
really excited and he was veryfascinated with my breasts.
And, when he was getting closeto coming.
Mm-hmm.
And he's like, where do you wantme to come?
(24:13):
And I'm like, come on mybreasts.
He's like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
And the lounger was such that.
It was wider, so he couldn'treally straddle it to get close
to me, and I was up far enough.
Mm-hmm.
That he was far enough back.
He could only get to my belly.
So he's like, oh, I didn't makeit.
And we laughed.
I mean, you gotta laugh.
Oh yeah.
(24:33):
Yeah.
There were several timesthroughout the whole thing where
we were chuckling'cause Okay.
That was just a, that was justawkward, you
Tramp (24:38):
know?
You know when you're having justa fun, amazing experience.
I think laughter shoulddefinitely be a part of it.
Oh, oh, oh yeah.
Just lighthearted.
And it shouldn't be serious allthe time.
Totally agree.
There's a time and place for itto be hot and heavy and just
lusty and Right.
All that.
But when you truly can relax andthrow a chuckle in, you throw a
(24:58):
chuckle in.
It's, yeah.
Elle (25:01):
Yeah.
All in all, I, I think we wereone of the last to leave.
We had a great experience.
The Italian was sitting on thesofa with another couple, who
we'd been talking to.
Just such great energy.
I wanna give them some names.
Hold please.
Janet and Marty.
Okay, Janet and Marty.
Okay.
(25:21):
Were sitting on the sofa withthe Italian and I came around to
just see if we was ready to goand they were all sort of
playing with each other andeverything and made room for me.
And, Janet said, I, I think youneed to sit on that cock.
It was very hard and veryengorged.
And I'm like, well, sure.
(25:42):
So I thought, okay, well I'lljust sort of back into it and
squat down and then.
Bounce up and down on it.
But, if you've not done a lot ofsquats recently that.
It was very challenging, youknow, I'm like, ow, you know?
And I try to, after about
Tramp (25:59):
30 seconds, you're like,
Elle (26:00):
like, who?
Who, who not doing it for theright reason.
So I was like holding onto histhighs and then he was sort of
bouncing up and down.
I'm like, okay, that'll work.
I can hold myself here on fellforay, my body part's holding
on.
Tramp (26:13):
Sounds like you have a.
New exercise to add to yourworkout regimen?
Yeah, I actually
Elle (26:18):
did quads and glutes today for sure.
That was my work.
I felt it going up the stairs,so I know I worked it.
But, then we decided, okay, wellElla is losing her, her mojo and
turned me around.
So I was leaning up against theback of the sofa and he started,
fucking me from behind.
And Marty at that point.
(26:38):
He also was fascinated with mybreasts, as was she, and he was
like, oh, can I touch those?
And I'm like, yeah.
So he put himself, so I'mleaning forward.
He put himself under my breastand was.
Suckling.
Mm-hmm.
Like it was nobody's business.
And he was the happiest personin the world.
And at one point Janet leansover and, starts kissing me, and
(27:02):
then he's watching it frombelow.
And I'm just getting kind ofpushed into Marty and like, oh
gosh, we can't, we can't do thismuch longer.
We're gonna suffocate him.
He's like.
I'm fine.
Yes.
Looked up will die if he diedright now.
Would die happy.
He's like, I looked up and sawthe two of you kissing.
I'm fine.
(27:24):
Yeah.
So it was, a really great way toend the evening.
I think, we were driving homeabout three 15 in the morning,
and I cannot tell you the lasttime I was up at three 15, he
was pretty amped when we got inthe car.
He's like, are you tired?
I'm like, yeah.
Yeah, I am.
And he is like, yeah, you'vebeen going for hours, right?
(27:44):
And yeah, the party started ateight.
So, as we're driving, it wasabout a half hour drive to his
house.
And he starts getting tired andI'm like, okay, well I have to
stay awake'cause I'm gonna keepyou awake, you know?
Mm-hmm.
So, yeah, we made it and, andgot to bed and.
Wanted to have sex, but justwasn't gonna happen.
I was just too tired.
(28:05):
So slept till about nine 30,made sure we, had some goodbye
sex before I got on the plane.
And, really, really just had anamazing weekend.
I didn't even tell you aboutFriday night where we.
Uh, we must have orgasmed fourtimes.
So it was hot.
Just all hot, the reconnectingand, yeah.
(28:25):
You guys probably had pent up
Tramp (28:26):
energy Oh.
From the texting, even thoughyou said it was a lot more
flirty than
Elle (28:31):
Right.
Than, but we knew what the othercould do, so it wasn't like
there were expectations, but itwas very, a very comfortable
flow into it.
Mm-hmm.
And so I suppose if that makesme a hot wife.
I am a situational hot wife.
Okay,
Tramp (28:47):
fair enough.
Elle (28:47):
Yeah,
Tramp (28:49):
and also with an ongoing, I'm assuming an ongoing hall
pass from Jay.
Elle (28:55):
Yes, I think he would be fine.
Anytime.
I would like to, I'm invited outthere again.
I mean, I, I did have a numberof people saying, how often do
you get out to Orlando?
Which I said, well, up untilthis year, really never.
But, I've been here four timesthis year, so odds me coming
back are pretty good.
Right.
I think it was Marty, he's like,I will buy you a ticket.
You can come out here, anytimewe wanna see you again.
(29:17):
So I, I felt really good aboutit.
Everybody was so nice and, warmand welcoming and, and you don't
always find that in a partywhere you don't really know
anybody.
If it's a group of people wherethey have.
Known each other for a number ofyears and they have a comfort
level and all that.
But they had said, the Italianis always welcome.
They were thrilled that hebrought someone with him.
(29:38):
And so I think all in all, weall had a good time.
Tramp (29:41):
I think when you are in this community, when you're
respected, first and foremost,people are genuinely happy.
Yeah.
When, you find a connection.
Right.
Whether it be temporary Right.
Or more long term.
Elle (29:54):
Right.
Exactly.
Exactly.
And, I told Jay when I camehome, I said, the sex was great.
The connections were wonderful.
We had wonderful conversationand laughed a lot, which is so
important to me.
Mm-hmm.
But that it seemed like.
It was like an affair.
'cause he wasn't there.
But it didn't, because therewasn't that emotion that goes
(30:17):
along with it.
I mean, I, I care for him.
Of course, he's a good man.
Of course he's a good man.
But, I didn't leave going, oh,he flew off to Puerto Rico to
visit his girl down there fortwo weeks.
You know, he's having a greattime.
I love that for him.
Mm-hmm.
He's got, he's got ladies allover the place and I don't doubt
it'cause he is.
He is a great, wonderful,respectful man.
(30:39):
Fantastic.
And I think we need more ofthem.
And you like that?
Mm-hmm.
You know, you're the same kindof a person and I think that
it's fabulous when we can, havepeople that husbands can feel
comfortable with and notthreatened by.
And, the wives can enjoythemselves and sort of let loose
a little bit.
Tramp (30:56):
Well, very well said.
Well, El thank you for.
Sharing that.
Yeah, you're welcome.
That was very sexy.
Elle (31:02):
Mm.
I try, I try.
I'm getting, trying to getbetter at the descriptions
without stumbling and beingawkward, so
Tramp (31:10):
You're doing fantastic.
Elle (31:11):
Thanks hun.
Tramp (31:12):
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Well guys, we do have an a MAthis week.
You
Elle (32:31):
said that, and you have not shared with me yet what it
is.
No, I have not.
So this is gonna be new for metoo.
Have so no prep here.
Tramp (32:39):
So this is from, a listener we're gonna call them
dl.
And here's the question.
Okay.
We are new to the lifestyle andlove it.
She wants it all the time and heneeds to get to know people
first.
Mm-hmm.
Uh, I get
Elle (32:57):
that.
Tramp (32:57):
Yep.
We have found that it can bedifficult to approach people in
social situations like at theranch and, and that Cassidy,
which is like SLS or SDC, it's aswinger social media dating
site.
Yeah.
Dating site, is not super userfriendly.
They're not sure if these arethe only avenues.
(33:19):
So that's kind of one question.
Okay.
The follow up is how do you allmeet other couples to befriend
and maybe play with?
Elle (33:28):
Okay.
Well, let's see.
Other ways to meet people.
I mean, there used to be ways.
I think people sometimes go onTinder.
And they'll have a profile andkind of, I know I had a
girlfriend I had lunch with andshe was saying, yeah, it was so
hard to date.
I kept getting these guysapproaching me and we'd be
(33:48):
talking and he is like, well,I'm actually married and we were
looking for somebody to join usand she definitely was not
interested.
So people do go that direction.
I know there's, FetLife for moreKinkier, BDSM, type of person.
Mm-hmm.
But it seems like that group is.
FA bit more open to meetingother people, but for us, it
(34:10):
really has been going to theranch or if we, travel and go to
an event somewhere.
Once you start meeting people,especially from other states
and.
They might invite you out forsomething.
We did go, to Houston once andwent to, well, we went to the
purgatory.
And that was a takeover program?
It was a takeover, yeah, it wasa takeover in Houston, which was
(34:31):
very fun.
And but before that, a couple wehad met at the ranch.
We had gone down to visit them,they invited us down.
They're like, why don't you comevisit?
We're like, why don't we?
Mm-hmm.
You know, so you get to do that,and then you meet other people.
So there were another couplethat we met at Purgatory and
we're gonna see them thisweekend for a house party, and
you keep those connections.
So, I would say keep trying onCassidy and getting used to it
(34:54):
and, look around at otherprofiles and send a little note
and, try to read their profileand pull something from the
profile.
Sure.
So many people just go, hi.
Yeah.
Low, low effort.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Make a little effort.
Show that you read their profilebecause there may be something
on there that is a real goodconnection for you.
Mm-hmm.
Oh my gosh.
We were feeling the same way, orwe like to do the same thing
(35:14):
and, when you go on those,they'll, post where there's
parties, so there's a group inColorado, and they throw hotel
takeover parties for theholidays or for different
events.
And so you'll see that there'sother places you can go besides,
going to the ranch or going to aspecific place, to try and meet
somebody.
And that might be a great placeto just sort of get a feel for
(35:38):
it.
Mm-hmm.
And, and make a few friends, ifyou stay and you have a hotel
room, you don't have to go playwith somebody.
Sure.
You know, you never have to.
You never have to, and when wetook the pressure off.
Of trying to have sex withpeople and built more of a,
let's just meet a new persontoday.
Right?
Let's meet two new people.
Make that connection.
Let's get to know somebody thatwe've met.
(35:59):
Let's get to know them a littlebit better.
And that's the focus for theevening.
That takes all that pressureoff.
The rest of it works its wayout.
Mm-hmm.
You find your way to, find thatconnection with a couple of
people or an individual just tryto meet some new people.
Sure.
Just like they did.
I know Jay met them at the ranchone Sunday, and just try to meet
one more person,
Tramp (36:18):
I would simplify that a little bit by saying No, no, no.
Because that came out very well.
Because
Elle (36:25):
l you spoke a long time.
No.
Tramp (36:28):
The most successful people I feel in the lifestyle
are ones that are outgoing.
Yeah.
So you can be a gorgeous couple,but if you're wallflowers Yeah.
Either people are going to beintimidated to talk to you.
Elle (36:43):
Oh, yeah.
Tramp (36:44):
Or we've all seen those couples that give off new vibes.
Elle (36:48):
Yeah.
Tramp (36:49):
At any given club.
Mm-hmm.
The ranch being our local cluband.
I make a point to just welcome,just make them, and I know Jay
is phenomenal at just being ableto spark up that conversation.
He
Elle (37:01):
really is good.
So
Tramp (37:02):
you have to almost get comfortable being uncomfortable
and just.
Being out there.
Elle (37:08):
Yeah.
Tramp (37:08):
Talking to people.
Don't be afraid to say hi.
Don't be afraid to pay thecompliment.
Elle (37:13):
Yeah.
That's always a good in with,somebody is, you know,'cause
people make an effort when theygo or find the people that make
an effort and go up and give acompliment.
Or we've had any number ofpeople just come up hi, we're
new.
Right.
Oh, good.
Did you get the tour?
Do you have any questions?
You know, that kind of a thing.
Can we introduce you to somepeople?
Right.
Most people are willing tointroduce you to somebody else,
and if they're not, go findsomeone who will.
Tramp (37:35):
Sure.
Elle (37:35):
You know,
Tramp (37:36):
and for the veterans and, we happen to know some locals
who are very good at this.
When you see that couple who mayseem a little timid, the deer in
headlights look.
Yeah.
Yes.
Go up and say hi.
Just say hi.
Just say hi.
Elle (37:48):
Yeah.
It's easy.
Tramp (37:50):
And open up that line of conversation.
Mm-hmm.
Now, granted, I admit I'm notthe greatest at small talk.
Just getting out there, meetingpeople, meeting people.
You're a shyer.
Yes.
Yes I am.
Elle (37:59):
You are.
Yes.
That's why you hang out with us,
Tramp (38:03):
but you have to be willing to put yourself out
there.
Now granted as coming from thesingle male lens, it is, yes.
It's, it's different becausepeople automatically.
It's almost put their guards up,raise their shields.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
'cause you know, single guysonly want one, you know, just
Right.
Very broadly generalizing, but
Elle (38:25):
Yeah.
Tramp (38:25):
But instead of just Yeah.
Being social and luckily I havea lot of friends.
Elle (38:30):
Yeah.
You came into, your singlemanhood with already knowing
some people.
Mm-hmm.
Not everybody gets that.
And, I think it is.
You know, having someunderstanding and some, some
empathy for that single male.
Yeah.
That's looking a little bitoutta sorts, they need to make
some effort, but we also needto, at least give them a chance.
(38:50):
Mm-hmm.
Tramp (38:51):
But I will admit being with a sexy woman, it is so much
easier to meet other couples.
Yeah.
Having seen both sides of theequation, if you will.
Elle (39:02):
Right.
Tramp (39:03):
But another thing that was touched on Yeah.
That I really wanna explore justbriefly here, is when one person
in the couple is very, if theysee someone they're attracted
to, they can go with it and theycan go play where the other half
needs that cerebral connectionin order to get the juices
(39:27):
flowing.
Elle (39:28):
Yes.
We, had that situation oncewhere.
Jay had been talking with them,so there was already a
connection and they were allvery touchy by the time I came
up.
And she became just very, Ithink through association with
Jay, you know, became touchy,touchy with me.
And I'm like, okay, yeah, I'mnot there yet.
I'm gonna, yeah, I'm, I'm not, Ineed a little more, and to
acknowledge that, and maybethat's the case where, you hold
(39:50):
off for that night.
It's like, you know what?
We'd like to have dinner, right?
Why don't we meet here fordinner?
Well, let's go somewhere andhave dinner.
And just get to know each othera little bit and see where we're
at.
Mm-hmm.
But there's plenty of places,that are a little bit more, DTF
down to fuck.
Mm-hmm.
And, I've heard that nowactually speaking, talking about
it this weekend with.
The Italian, trape in FortLauderdale, their, situation is
(40:14):
set up.
You walk in, there's, there's abig dance floor, people are
dancing.
You wanna go into the play area,and I think it's, I'm starting
to decide it's a Florida thing.
You've gotta strip down tonothing when you go in there.
So most people, it's like, greatmeet to, you know, nice to meet
you.
You are hot.
Let's go get our clothes off.
And even our friends, the affixswingers who had moved from
there would tell us the samething.
(40:35):
You're like, yeah, Colorado.
It's a, it's a much slower role.
People wanna get to know youbefore you get somewhere.
No, it's not always the case.
But in a lot of cases, it, itis.
We wanna, we wanna build alittle bit of a relationship to,
to have that attraction
Tramp (40:51):
right.
And I think there arecircumstances, at least in the
lifestyle.
Like resorts and cruises whereyou're on a time crunch, you're,
you're on a time crunch almost.
Elle (41:01):
Yeah.
Tramp (41:02):
But really getting back to it, it's my personal belief
then in the lifestyle, yourpartner should be the most
important person.
Yes.
And so if, one partner needsthat cerebral, you both have to
give and take a little bit asyou become more comfortable.
Elle (41:20):
Right.
Tramp (41:21):
And.
I found myself in a lot ofcircumstances historically just
rolling with the punches, and Iwas okay with that.
Yeah.
But the traditional logic is youmove as fast as the slowest
person?
Elle (41:33):
Yes.
I was about to say that.
Yeah.
It's the slowest commondenominator.
Mm-hmm.
And that, helps preserve yourrelationship because if you push
somebody too fast, then theywill have resentment.
They may not show it to you,they may not tell you about it,
but it's, it's underlying thereas like, wow.
Didn't even take intoconsideration how I feel about
(41:54):
this.
Right.
And unless you've discussedahead of time having a hall pass
or being a hot wife mm-hmm.
Then, you really need to respectthat person that you're going
home with.
There will be other times, therewill be other times, especially
if you talk about it.
And you've respected how theyfeel the next time.
It's like, okay, well you, wenthome with me when I was ready to
go.
(42:15):
I'm willing to put myself outthere just a little bit more.
Yeah,
Tramp (42:17):
I'm, I'm willing to get a little uncomfortable this time.
Right goes, it's not gonnaoptimal, but let's see where it
goes.
Right again.
Communication.
It's all about communication.
Yeah.
Yeah.
My favorite word, I think, well,this has been amazing.
Yeah.
Elle (42:35):
Wow.
We were really struggling whilewe were having dinner.
Wow.
What are we gonna talk about?
Right.
I thought that turned out prettywell.
Tramp (42:41):
It turned out amazing
Elle (42:42):
if we say so ourselves.
Tramp (42:45):
But everyone, we are just so thankful just based on the
downloads, we are reaching a lotof people and.
Not just here in Denver andColorado, but all across the
country and even all around theworld in some cases.
Elle (42:59):
I know I've said it before, but that is one of my
favorite things to do is to seewhat obscure country.
One person from there hasdownloaded our episode.
Tramp (43:09):
Mm-hmm.
Elle (43:10):
Yay.
Tramp (43:10):
Actually outside of Colorado.
I have a request.
Our second biggest market isChicago.
So I would love to get an a MAfrom someone in Chicago and I
know you guys are listening.
Elle (43:21):
Yes, please.
I think that you know what, weneed to call out a city every
time.
I like that.
To see who will send ussomething.
Work with us people.
Yes.
Work with us.
Help
Tramp (43:31):
us.
Help us help you.
Let's help you.
Well guys, thank you just somuch for coming along.
Feel free to send us an emailand we are unapologetic
swingers@gmail.com and also ourwebsite is
www.unapologeticswingers.com.
But if you really want to helpus, is just whatever podcast
(43:54):
platform you're listening on,leave us a review that helps
out.
More than anything, to beperfectly honest.
Elle (44:01):
We really appreciate it.
Until next time, I'm Elle
Tramp (44:05):
and I'm the tramp.
Elle (44:06):
Be sexy,
Tramp (44:07):
be confident.
Elle (44:08):
Be unapologetic.
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