Dating Disaster Stories: The Three Loves Theory Explained

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
I was toxic and he was toxic.

Speaker 2 (00:02):
So you take personal responsibility A hundred percent
.

Speaker 1 (00:05):
I feel like if you're in a toxic relationship, there
is something on you that are notokay.
I feel like when you're lost,you can't really see the reality
.

Speaker 3 (00:12):
Yeah, so I'm just an advocate, because I struggled
really, really bad in highschool.
I got diagnosed withHashimoto's thyroiditis.

Speaker 1 (00:19):
Therapy is not easy.
You're gonna be touching onthings that hurt you.

Speaker 3 (00:25):
That you don't even know that actually hurt you.
I think substance is the mostimportant thing to me.

Speaker 2 (00:28):
What do you mean by substance?

Speaker 3 (00:30):
Like.
Like thought.

Speaker 2 (00:32):
Like intelligence.

Speaker 1 (00:34):
Yeah, like intelligence.
Honestly, I live in Marina.
There was nothing there, nofires.
And there was one night thebuilding by my building was
getting on fire.
I have all the respect forevery immigrant, because it's
not easy to leave your family,leave your friends and try a
better life here.

Speaker 3 (00:49):
When we want something and it's hard to get,
it comes in the most beautifuland rewarding way you can't just
say, oh, I want a Lamborghini,and then just wait for it to
show up Like that's not gonnahappen.
I went through a lot of trialand error and I just kind of
said, okay, this is what I want.
I wrote it down.
I said this for it to show uplike that's not gonna happen.
I went through a lot of trialand error and I um, I just kind
of said, okay, this is what Iwant.
I wrote it down.

Speaker 2 (01:08):
I said this is what I want and I would not accept
anything less latina girls arelike always good kissers, it's
just like automatic, whereaslike we use our tongues that's
the secret I love it, becauseAmericans don't.
Welcome to Unattainable.
Glad to have you with us.

(01:28):
My name is Zach Evans.
I'm going to be your host fortoday and first of all, thank
you to all of our listeners.
We've been getting a ton ofgrowth and engagement over the
last few weeks, so we've got tothank you guys out there for
that.
Today we've got a couple ofspecial guests on the show Kale
and Julia.
Why don't you guys go aheadintroduce yourself to the
audience?
Name what?

Speaker 3 (01:49):
you do and your star sign, and we'll start with you,
kale.
Hi, I'm Kale.
I started out as a mentalhealth advocate on TikTok and
then now I model and I dobusiness and I'm a.

Speaker 1 (02:00):
Virgo.
I'm Julia.
I just launched a social mediaagency end of last year.
I also do a lot of UGC,creating content for brands as
well, and my sign is I'm aTaurus.

Speaker 2 (02:15):
Taurus.
Interesting Virgos are some ofmy best friends, mine too,
Taurus, on the other hand arebad for my mental health.
I'll say that you guys are funbut uh dangerous, I think, is
the right word for it.
Yeah, I agree, I like how, whenI said dangerous.
You smiled like yeah, I love it, which I don't judge.

(02:38):
I used to be very toxic back inmy villain era.

Speaker 1 (02:40):
You know, wait, what is your sign?

Speaker 2 (02:42):
I'm the best one don't tell me smart funny,
attractive, tall, funny, smart,tall and attractive.
Yeah, pisces pisces.

Speaker 1 (02:51):
Pisces are so sweet stop it, stop it.

Speaker 2 (02:54):
I don't identify it depends on the pisces.

Speaker 3 (02:56):
I feel like I've I mean, I've dated some pisces.

Speaker 2 (02:59):
I'm currently dating a pisces it's like, very it's
across the board like you couldbe some interesting people and
then some amazing people yeah, Iget a lot of uh uh girls who
don't like when I say pisces.
They look at me like I'm justlike spawn of the earth.
I ended up on one of thosefacebook groups.
Have you guys heard of thesefacebook groups?

(03:19):
No, okay, first of all, I'mlike who uses facebook anymore?
yeah, I, I just wake up to like17 text messages and all these
girls are sending me.
They're like screenshotting meand it's just a picture of me.
And then it says it's in thisFacebook group called like don't
date him, los Angeles, orsomething like that, and it's
just says Pisces, no, it saysZach, and then a bunch of red

(03:41):
flag emojis and then it saysPisces and no, it says Zach, and
then a bunch of red flag emojisand then it says Pisces.
And then it's like we'll sendmore details once approved.
I guess they like get itapproved in the chat and then
it's like this whole thing and abunch of girls join it.

Speaker 1 (03:52):
I'm so curious what are your red flags?

Speaker 2 (03:55):
Me Silly old me.

Speaker 1 (03:58):
What are the red flags?

Speaker 2 (03:59):
So back in my like fuckboy days, yeah, okay.
So, first of all, I was aprofessional fuckboy.
I'm not like these amateur GenZ fuckboys running around
nowadays with take theirshirtless selfies at LA Fitness.
You know what?
I mean, it's like, like, likelike, at least, if you're going
to date a fuckboy like, date aprofessional who takes their

(04:20):
shirtless selfies at Equinox andget fucked over on like a
european vacation.
Don't get fucked over at halfprice tuesday at applebee while
he's holding the coupon book.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, um, but I would always behonest with girls, even back in
the day, and I would say, yeah,I'm not looking for anything
serious, blah, blah, blah.
And I don't know.
I feel like they wanted tochange me or they thought for

(04:40):
some reason that I was gonnalike change, but yeah, that's
the worst yeah when people spendtoo much energy trying to
change someone yeahlike yeah but now I'm very shy
and romantic.
Yeah, now I'm very shy andromantic.

Speaker 1 (04:53):
I mean, you got mature right.
Like every man has that phase.
And then I don't know some menthey're old and they're still
like a fuck boy and I'm like why?

Speaker 3 (05:02):
I feel like it depends on who you are as a
person.
I feel like everybody goesthrough phases of who they are
and nobody's like one way or theother, because we're ever
changing.

Speaker 2 (05:10):
So well, have you guys heard of the three loves
theory?
no so in your life everybody hasthree loves.
You have like your first love,um the first person that you
date.
You think it's gonna lastforever because you don't know
any better, right?
And then your second love islike your toxic love, and it's
the one that just breaks you andit just, it teaches you life

(05:30):
lessons and it forces you togrow.
And then your third love islike your soulmate.
It's like you learned all yourlessons from the last one and
now it's like you found likethat perfect puzzle piece that
you know you actually know whatyou want in a relationship
because you've gone through allthe bad ones and then you find
your person that's great.

Speaker 1 (05:49):
That's the story of my life you found all three yeah
okay, so all of themokay, uh, tell me about what was
the first one well, the firstone, I was 14 and we were dating
from 14 to 18, so we were likereally, really young um
everything was perfect.
Like you know, love of my life,we're gonna stay together
forever.
Um, and it was really bad after, like, we broke up and I feel

(06:14):
like he was 18, so he was onthat phase like starting to kiss
girls and like have sex andthis kind of things, and I was
like pretty upset to seeeverything, everything.

Speaker 2 (06:24):
And then uh, after you broke up, or what?
Yeah, after we broke up.

Speaker 1 (06:27):
Yeah, yeah um, but the bad part is like he was kind
of like aggressive person.
After we broke up he became,and when I used to talk to guys
and he was around he would beaggressive, so no one wanted to
talk to me, he was jealous afterschool yes, no one would talk
to me, no man.
Um, and then my secondrelationship.
It was so toxic, I was toxicand he was toxic so you take

(06:51):
personal responsibility.
100 I feel like if you're in atoxic relationship, there is
something on you that are notokay, because when you love
yourself and when you prioritizeyourself, when you take care of
your mental health, you're notgonna accept to be with someone
that doesn't do good for youyeah, um.
So yeah, I was in a very toxicphase of my life and I was
disrespecting myself and I wouldbe upset when people would

(07:14):
disrespect me which it was whathappened.
He was disrespecting me, um, butthen lots of therapy, um
self-development, and I found myman now and our relationship
it's so healthy, so healthy,it's crazy.
I never thought I would be ableto have such a healthy
relationship.

Speaker 2 (07:35):
So you felt like you grew from it.

Speaker 1 (07:38):
You learned something from it instead of seeing it as
a negative.
Yeah, 100%, 100%.
It's not that I'm like oh, ohmy gosh, I wish that
relationship didn't happen.
No, like it, it taught me a lotof things, you know I'm curious
.

Speaker 2 (07:51):
So when you first met the toxic relationship guy, did
you, were you unaware that itwas a toxic situation when you
first met him?
Or did you kind of know in theback of your head what you're
getting into?

Speaker 1 (08:08):
but you just like the excitement I didn't know, I
didn't know okay, so you werejust deer headlights lost, okay
so I feel like when you're lost,you can't really see the
reality you're just in love,you're just blinded by okay not
even about just about therelationship or everything in
life.
You can see things the way theyare.
You know when you're lost, soyeah, and so what happened in

(08:30):
the relationship?
and then, well, I cheated on himI'm almost sure he cheated on
me, like the whole situation andwe broke up and then I started
doing therapy, with the sametherapies I have nowadays Every
week.
It's been like five years, Idon't know, and I just, yeah, I

(08:52):
started working with her andthere was a moment that she gave
up on me.
She said she wouldn't work withme anymore.
This is how bad.

Speaker 2 (08:58):
I was.

Speaker 1 (08:59):
This is how bad I was .

Speaker 2 (09:00):
Aren't they not allowed to do that?
I thought that was like a ruleGive a patient.
Like imagine you go to thedoctor and you break your arm.
He's like, yeah, sorry.
Like yeah, you broke your armtoo many times, like we're not
gonna fix you anymore.

Speaker 1 (09:10):
Well, I think they can choose, like their patient
and she said she wouldn't workwith me anymore and then after a
month I begged her to take meback and nowadays she said she
always tells me like was one ofher past decisions in her career
to take me back.
Because she can see how much Ihave grown and how much I have
changed.
I completely changed.
I'm not the same person I usedto be.

(09:31):
So, yeah, I love therapy.
I feel like if everyone in theworld did therapy, we would live
in a better world.
We all have insecurities, weall have traumas, we all have
fears, and we have to learn howto deal with that.
And not only that.
It's to do with all the crazypeople outside right, like out

(09:51):
there, uh.
So, yeah, I I highly recommendtherapy for everyone I see, yeah
, and so when did that relate?

Speaker 2 (09:59):
did you break up with him?
Did he break up with you?
I broke up with him okay sowhen you ended that, after all
the drama, toxicity, everything,were you more angry at him or
were you more kind of like hurtand sad?
Um I don't I and I'll tell youwhy I'm asking in a second.

Speaker 1 (10:22):
But I don't know, I don't think I was angry at him
like he was.
I feel like he was also lost.
You know, like it's not that hewas a bad person, like it.
I don't know, I wasn't likeangry at him, not at all that's
a very mature way of looking atit.
Yeah, you can't change whosomebody is at the end of the

(10:43):
day no, you can help people tochange, but if you're someone
expecting this person to changeit, yeah interesting I had.

Speaker 2 (10:55):
My first two were like bundled into one my uh.
So I was super like shy andawkward growing up.
Like had no friends like my uh.
My parents were poor because mydad was a gym teacher, my mom
was a stay-at-home mom and allthe little kids and their stupid
little.
They had the same fucking shirt.
It was a little polo with alittle horse guy yeah, the ralph
.
I still fucking hate thoseshirts to this day, all those

(11:18):
little fuckers coming out of therange rovers and just making
fun of me.
Um, so I always wanted agirlfriend.
Like in high school I was likeso like desperate to get a
girlfriend and I was like tooshy, too awkward, I wasn't the
cool kid.
So finally, like my junior year, one of my friends was like, oh
, this girl wants you to ask herto prom.
So I was like pumped because Iwas like this is my shot.

(11:43):
I was like don't fuck this oneup, zach, don't fuck this one up
.
I still remember I went to likeher locker after class and I
was like hey, I was like do youwant to go to prom with me?
And she was like, yeah, ofcourse.
And then I was like okay, bye.
And then like ran away, like itwas like so, like cringe, it
was like the cringiest thinghigh school reaction natural

(12:04):
yeah but even like worse,because I was like even more
awkward for a normal highschooler, you know.
So we started dating and I wasjust like, so happy, like for
the first time in my life Ireally felt just like genuinely
happy all the time and I waslike the biggest simp, like
cringe, like I used to.
This is gonna make you cringe.

(12:24):
Every monday I'd wake up at 6am and I would drive to the
walmart between our houses and Iwould buy some flowers and the
purple skittles, you know, thewild berry flavors, because I
was like her favorite one andI'd like write her a little note
and I'd like leave it on herdoorstep so she would like find
it yeah, I think that's sweet.
It's not gonna going to be sweetfor long.
Wait for the ending.
So then we go to college andshe goes to like the private

(12:52):
school.
My parents can't afford thatone.
So I go to UW Oshkosh, which islike in the middle of nowhere,
wisconsin, and I'm still happy.
I'm calling her every day Yo,what's up Julie?
How you doing, how's your day?
No-transcript.

(13:26):
I hate to be the one to tellyou this, but like we're at a
party and like we all saw Julielike go in this room with this
guy and it was this the assholeguy for like 30 minutes, like
everybody's saying they hookedup blah, blah, blah, and I'm
like laughing.
I'm like, bro, she hates thisguy, like he's the biggest

(13:46):
asshole she would never.
But for some reason it's likein the back of my mind.
I was like nervous.
I don't know how to explain it.
I was just like it's intuitionintuition, I could like feel
something was off.
So I didn't sleep all night.
Next morning I like skippedclass, drove to her college and
I like knocked on her dorm roomdoor and I remember I was

(14:08):
expecting her to open the doorand be like, oh my God, you
surprised me, like big smile.
But instead she like opened thedoor and she was like, hey,
what are you doing here?
It was kind of like one ofthose.
And then I was like, yeah, youknow everybody's starting this
rumor about you, but like, don'tworry, I don't believe any of
them.
Like, I know everybody'sstarting this rumor about you,
but like, don't worry, I don'tbelieve any of them.
Like I know it's not true.

(14:28):
And she literally just lookedat me.
She was like it is true,actually it is.
And the worst part was like Iwas like bawling my eyes out at
this point.
I was like, but she was so likenonchalant about it, like it
like almost like our entirerelationship meant nothing.
And I still remember the lastthing I said to her.

(14:49):
I was like Julie, I was like Iwould literally do anything to
make you happy.
I just want to know why.
And she literally like shruggedher shoulders like this, and
she was like I just got bored.
And that moment I was like Iwill never be this fucking simp
loser guy Ever again.
And that's when I started 6amevery morning Fucking gym Work

(15:11):
on the YouTube channel and likeso obviously it was like a tough
experience, but I do feel likein the long run it's literally
like changed my entire life ahundred percent.

Speaker 1 (15:23):
A hundred percent.
I feel like everything thathappened in our past like kind
of dictate how we're gonna feeltowards things and act in
certain ways yeah but.

Speaker 2 (15:32):
But the reason I wanted to tell that story is I
know you guys are both big onmental health.
Do you think mental health isover prescribed sometimes?

Speaker 1 (15:45):
what do you mean over prescribed yeah so like I've
never been to therapy.

Speaker 2 (15:50):
Well, one time with that's a whole nother, that's a
story for another time.
But I just feel like nowadays,especially for guys and I don't
know what it's like being a girlyou guys literally have like
double the hormones.
You feel things much stronger.
I don't know what it's likebeing a girl.
You guys literally have likedouble the hormones.
You feel things much stronger.
I don't know what it's like.
So I can't speak on girls, butI feel like a lot of guys go to
Therapy for things that theyjust need to like man up a

(16:11):
little bit.
Like I think if I went totherapy after like this girl
cheated on me, right, and thetherapist tells me It'll all be
better, like don't worry, it'sher fault, like she's never tell
her that I feel like okay thiswill never tell her that.

Speaker 1 (16:27):
She's gonna make you think about things and realize
things yourself yeah, andthere's also so many different
types of therapy.

Speaker 3 (16:35):
I think that's what a lot of people forget is there's
like your traditional sit downand then there's like you have a
personal relationship or not apersonal relationship with your
therapist, but you can text themat any time.
There's so many different typesof therapy.
I feel like people get solocked in, like, oh, I have to
sit down on a couch and tellthis person my all my problems.
No, you, you do what you, whatyou want, and, like she said,

(16:59):
they basically guide you to makeyou know, kind of like come to
the conclusion yourself.
But it just really depends andthe biggest thing with why I
kind of like made a little facewhen you were like, oh,
sometimes men like do this.
I think a lot of men don't askfor help and so it's hard to say

(17:20):
like, oh, like, you need tojust like man up and get over it
, and we don't know thebackstory as well.
Yeah, and a lot of a lot of menjust don't ask for help in
general, um, but, and likethat's a type of therapy that
you can do is you can, you canget a therapist that will tell
you to man up and that will.
But that that's your ownprerogative, that's your own

(17:41):
thing.
So you can tell them like, hey,this is what I want to do.
And that's just really it.

Speaker 2 (17:46):
Yeah, like, I think, like if I had a therapist, I
would want him to be the onethat's like Zach, what the fuck?
Get your shit together, bro.
Like, slap me and be like.
You know what I mean, notliterally, but yeah but you can
choose that.

Speaker 3 (17:59):
You can choose that type of therapy and you can.
You can work with yourtherapist like obviously there's
professional guidelines andeverything that they can't they
can't, they can't cuss you out.
They can't slap you they can'tdo anything but they can say
this is your life, you need to,you need to take the reins and
do it yourself.

Speaker 2 (18:14):
Um, but yeah so you, you, because I know you have a
lot of experience with umtherapy and stuff like that, and
you are, you a therapist or doyou?
No, okay, so you just areunderstand mental health very
well.

Speaker 3 (18:27):
Yeah, so I'm just an advocate because I struggled
really really bad in high school.
Um, I got diagnosed withHashimoto's thyroiditis which is
an autoimmune disease whichactually causes anxiety and
depression.
Okay, and then my parents gotdivorced and I was having like
seven panic attacks in thebathroom a day, I see, and so
that's kind of what started meon my journey.

(18:48):
And then I started gettingbullied in high school and so it
just kind of snowballed eversince I started posting it on
TikTok and like my personaljourney, I guess, with it.
But to go back to what you said, do you think it's over
prescribed sometimes?
I think medication is over overprescribed sometimes.
Um, a lot of.
So.
There's psychologists andthere's therapists.
Psychologists will just not allpsychologists, but a lot of

(19:11):
psychologists will just throwmedication at you and then just
say, oh, there you go, fixed butin my country psychologists.

Speaker 1 (19:19):
They cannot prescribe you medication.
It's interesting, psychiatristscan't, but therapists no, my
buddy who's from Brazil.

Speaker 2 (19:27):
He's like we don't have therapists in Brazil.

Speaker 1 (19:29):
He's like what the fuck?
Where did this guy come from?
I don't think he meantliterally.

Speaker 2 (19:33):
But he was like laughing at us in America.
He's like like you guys haveall this money and like
everything's.
He's like my life is so mucheasier here, like we don't need
therapists and you know, it waslike kind of like that attitude,
you know yeah, but I mean,that's just the kind of vibe in
some places like I'm fromgeorgia, I'm from the south like
like just the suburbs really,and yeah, all the men I knew

(19:54):
would think that like it'scompletely like stupid for men
to go to therapy, like you said.

Speaker 3 (20:00):
That's how I grew up.
Yeah, just man up.

Speaker 1 (20:02):
So against it.
Yeah, I feel like the peoplethat are against it the most are
the people who need it the mostwell, I will say, therapy is
not easy.
You're gonna be touching onthings that hurt you, that you
don't even know that actuallyhurt you, like sometimes, like
the way you act is like towardscertain things or the way you
feel that is negative.

(20:23):
It's because things thathappened in your past, so you
don't even know.
Like you act in a certain waybecause things that actually
happen.
So when you start doing therapy, you start like realizing
things and learning things aboutyourself and you start learning
things about other people aswell.
Like you can read other peoplelike why is this person acting
this way?
Like you start understandingabout psychology and I think
it's.

Speaker 3 (20:43):
It's great I will say I was forced into therapy.
It's the first time I ever.
Oh no that's yeah, that thatnever works.
Yeah, never, ever will work.
If you're, if you have a spousethat looks at you and say you
have to go to therapy, yeah,like it's just, it's not couple
therapy different, but like ifnobody is going to be able to
tell you to go to therapy, andyou go to therapy and actually

(21:03):
like, kind of like take what youactually need from it.
So I I think that you have togo free, willing, on your own
volition, and then you have tofigure out what works at that
point and someone you like.
Yeah, yeah, my first therapist.

Speaker 2 (21:18):
Yeah, didn't like so your first experience, I'm
assuming was when you're gettingbullied in high school.
Was it around that time?

Speaker 3 (21:25):
it was when my parents first started to get
divorced and I was strugglingwith my thyroid disease.

Speaker 2 (21:32):
I see, how old were you at that time?
14 14 gotcha yep and you justget is mainly anxiety that you
would get from.

Speaker 3 (21:39):
Yeah, anxiety, and then the anxiety induces like
kind of like a sort ofdepression, and it can go vice
versa.
Depression can turn intoanxiety, anxiety can turn into
depression.
It just kind of happens.

Speaker 2 (21:49):
Yeah, and so what?
What helps you the most interms of changing your thought
process or to get through thatmoment, because I know like it's
already hard.
I mean middle schools, highschools, brutal, oh you know.
And.
I understand what you're.
Kids are so mean and peopleprobably see your life now and

(22:11):
it's probably like oh, like youknow, she's out in LA, her
life's easy, blah, blah, blah,but like it's not, you know.

Speaker 3 (22:17):
Oh, it's definitely not, and that's just the kind of
vibe that I got in high school.
A lot of people thought like,oh, she's pretty, so her life is
perfect.
Everybody's nice to her,everybody wants to be her friend
.
No.
And, surprisingly, the majorityof the people that did bully me
were boys.

Speaker 2 (22:34):
Interesting.
Which was interesting, whichwas, I don't know.
Usually it's the opposite, Ifind.

Speaker 3 (22:37):
But yeah, it usually is.
It usually is the opposite andI would say like middle school
or like elementary school wasmore like girls teasing girls,
but I got bullied by boys inhigh school.

Speaker 2 (22:47):
In what kind of way just made fun of or I had um.

Speaker 3 (22:52):
So I started sharing my mental health struggles on
tiktok and kind of like helpingother people through it.
And they started to.
They started an account andthese were supposed to be my
friends.
These are my friends that Ihave grown up with since first
grade and I sat with at lunchevery day and their handle on
TikTok was what was it?
It was like boys at the lunchtable or something and they

(23:14):
would get all my lives on TikTokand all my videos and tell me
to kill myself what?
Yeah, it was bad.
But, tell me to kill myself.
Tell me I didn't belonganywhere.
I'm a waste of space, a wasteof breath.

Speaker 2 (23:27):
And did you know it was them at the time, or did you
just think it was a randomaccount?

Speaker 3 (23:30):
Well, the boys at the lunch table was pretty like you
know, and then they startedmaking comments in person and
then there was a lot more thathappened after that and it kind
of spiraled.
But I just like I don't go backthere just because it's not
worth it, because I look at mylife now and I am.
It sounds insane, but I'mthankful for what I've been,

(23:50):
what I've been through I feelthe same way because it has
created me and has molded meinto the person that I am today
made you who you are exactly.
And back to what you said.
What do you think helped youthe most?
And it's basically you have totake control of your own life.

Speaker 2 (24:04):
You have to make your own path.
So it's taking personalresponsibility, even though it's
not your fault Exactly, butstill saying hey, it is what it
is.

Speaker 3 (24:12):
I'm going to have to make this work 100% yeah and
like, and that's not going towork for everybody.
It really isn't Um cause.
What was happening to me wasnot my fault the disease, the
divorce, the bullying none ofthat was my fault.
But what was my fault wasallowing myself to stay in the
rut and to keep allowing thesethings to happen to me.

(24:32):
And so at that point, I decidedto go online.
I went to the schooladministration that's a whole
other story because they saidyou're leaving.
So why would we do anything?
Why would we like?
get these people in trouble.
Of course it's Georgia, so it'slike you know whatever.
But at that point, like I, waslike wow, they really don't want

(24:53):
to do anything.

Speaker 2 (24:54):
They don't want to help and they're not going to.

Speaker 3 (24:59):
So at that point it was just like I'm taking control
of my life.
I'm leaving I'm doing what Ineed to do for me, and it worked
out great.

Speaker 2 (25:05):
I graduated high school a year early and yeah,
yeah it worked out, great, yeah,it did look at you now in la
chasing your dreams yeah, youcan inspire so many people.

Speaker 3 (25:15):
You can help so many people with everything you've
been through and that's what Isay is, like so many like I, I
used to get so many hatecomments over me being showing
my vulnerable side.
But I've also had thousands ofpeople text me and say you
helped me, you helped save mylife, and that means so much
more to me.
If I get that one message, I'lltake a hundred thousand hate

(25:37):
comments yeah, and most of thehate comments are trolls,
exactly.
It's just like people aretrolling, you know so I think
it's worth it all in the endgood for you.
Thank you, I'm proud of you.

Speaker 2 (25:48):
Thank you crushing it out here trying my best yeah,
it's interesting, I neverunderstood.
So the first time I dated like areally beautiful girl, I was 25
and she did modeling and on theoutside, like her life looked,
everybody thought she had theeasiest life.
She was getting flown out toMilan for fashion week and

(26:09):
private jets and celebrities inher dms and all this kind of
thing.
But it was just interestingseeing like behind the curtain
and like seeing her life upclose where, yeah, she had a
great life.
But it was also like a lot ofstruggles that nobody knew she
was going through.
And it was like I rememberthinking like man you never know
, like what guys you can trustand what guys actually just want

(26:32):
to sleep with you and, evenworse, what girls you can trust.
And then what girls are like,seem like your ride or dies, but
they're secretly jealous ofbehind your back and and they're
praying for your downfall.
And it was a lot of anxiety onher, it was a lot of stress and
I remember sometimes she would,you know, go and she was very
good at hiding it, so she'd goout all day smiling for the

(26:52):
cameras and blah, blah, blah,blah.
And sometimes she just get home, just open the door and just
start bawling, you know, andlike, fall into my arms and it
was just like man, it's like shehad to like, she had to be
strong, to like, maintain thatall day, but then it would all
come out at night, you know younever know what another person's
going through.
Yeah, yeah yeah, it was kind offunny when I first started

(27:16):
dating her.
Uh, one of my friends is likeyou, you know we're talking
about it.
He's like, oh, show me apicture.
And I showed him a picture andhe's like, oh, I met that girl.
She's a huge bitch and I waslike what?
I was like taken aback.
It's like this girl was thebiggest sweetheart, like the
heart of gold, like alwayshelping people, all that kind of
stuff.

(27:39):
And then I didn't understand ituntil the first time we went to
a party together and I just seelike every fucking dude is like
trying to hit on her.
Yeah, and from the outside itdoes look rude, but then I'm
like all right, what is shesupposed to do?
Like entertain some bullshitconversation for 30 minutes, and
now when she rejects the guy,he's even more mad because he
thought he had a chance.
And then he's's following heraround the fucking party Like a

(28:00):
dog.
Like it's like, wouldn't yourather have somebody?
Just be like yeah, this isn'thappening.
Like, don't waste your time,there's a thousand girls in LA.

Speaker 3 (28:08):
Exactly, and it's so like it sucks because they feel
entitled to your time.
Like they think that you haveto sit there and talk to them
and it's like, what are wesupposed to do?
Like, like you said why would Isit?
here and entertain thisconversation, especially like
having a boyfriend.
Like I'm not gonna say, likeobviously I am perfectly open to
having friendly conversation,but when you come up to me very

(28:30):
strong and with like all of this, like swag or whatever like,
and you try, you're like tryingreally hard over and over and
over again I just can'tespecially at the gym I'm like,
yeah, the girl is getting herworkout done, just let her do
her thing.

Speaker 2 (28:44):
Yeah, but here's no, I'm gonna tell you why this is
hard from like a guy'sperspective, because I know
girls who say the opposite.
They're like yeah, I'm sick ofmeeting guys at parties.
I wish some guy would just likecome up to me at the gym and
I'm like what?
And then you say that and a lotof girls say the same thing.
They're like dude, I'm tryingto work out, I don't want to get
hit on.
And then some girls are like Idon't want to meet a guy at a
club, I want him to come upduring the daytime when I'm like

(29:05):
grocery shopping or some shit.

Speaker 1 (29:07):
You know you try to get the vibe.
You know you look and if theperson looks back you have to
read the.

Speaker 2 (29:13):
I mean I I agree I agree, there has to be like some
level of social intuition, yeah, but also sometimes you got to
shoot your shot, like at somelevel.

Speaker 3 (29:21):
It's like you do, but there's a point where you need
to give up.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (29:26):
You do have to shoot your shot and then, like, read
the room at the same time.

Speaker 3 (29:29):
Yeah, Because I've genuinely had men like I, like
we will introduce, like we'll beintroduced, whatever.

Speaker 2 (29:36):
Yeah, yeah, we like, we will introduce, like we'll be
introduced whatever.

Speaker 3 (29:38):
Yeah, we do the pleasantries and I mentioned my
boyfriend if they start gettingfriendly or more than friendly
and they just keep going andkeep going and then, like you
see them all night they're juststaring at you like you're
supposed to do something andit's like I don't want to be
around.

Speaker 1 (29:53):
You put your airpods back and they keep talking like
and there's a point where itjust gets creepy.
Nobody finds creepy attractiveyeah it's never gonna, and I
hate being rude, like I'll neverlike ignore someone, I'll just
like yeah yeah, nice to meet you.

Speaker 3 (30:09):
Like see, I'm rude when it comes to that.
But I'm not rude if it's like Idon't know, like say like the
first, like couple times I'm notrude, but they're get.
It gets to a point where it'slike okay, leave me alone.

Speaker 2 (30:20):
I like if I'm dating a girl.
I like if my girl's rude toother dudes.
Yeah Like, I like the like.
Nah, nice, try bro, like justmove.
You know, I don't like it if mygirl's too friendly.

Speaker 1 (30:41):
Even if I know she's not look of like yeah, then I
don't want them thinking, oh,really, far apart, you know, you
, what too friendly and rudethey're like, really like yeah,
yeah, yeah, there's a balancelike polite, you know, kind and
polite, and I feel like yeahsome people don't allow you to
be polite though like I've had.

Speaker 3 (30:54):
I've genuinely had been like complete, like keep,
pressing, keep pressing keeppressing and you just have to
set boundaries, because if youdon't?
Oh yeah, 100%, it's just it'snot going to happen and
sometimes those boundaries, youkind of have to be rude and it's
not like calling them names oranything or being that rude.
It's like okay, leave me alone.

Speaker 2 (31:10):
Yeah, you got to put your foot down at some point,
exactly, exactly.

Speaker 1 (31:21):
They'll just don't just keep coming.
What is, uh, what is?

Speaker 2 (31:23):
your guy's normal type.
Do you have a type?
I don't nothing, not at all.

Speaker 1 (31:24):
So ugly guys with good personalities well, I have
the ugly guys before like no, Idon't, it's a condition.

Speaker 2 (31:31):
It's called um geronophilia, I think there's no
cure like you'll be fine, butyou like your bloodline is
fucked.
You're going to go to theafterlife and your ancestors are
going to be like we could haveD1 athletes.
Now we got some oompa loompaleprechauns running around
trying to get their lucky charmsback.

Speaker 1 (31:50):
I really like I don't care that much of how the
person looks like to be honest.
What about height, though I Tobe honest, what about height,
though?
I would like someone like alittle taller than me would be
great.
But if I like the person like,I like the person, yeah yeah,
yeah, what about you?

Speaker 3 (32:08):
I didn't have a type for a long time.
But now I think it goes to likewho aligns with me personally
now where I am in my life, likethat's the most important, like
and right now I'm dating like avery businessman and like he's
perfect and amazing, awesome.
So I think that's my type.
But yeah, I don't know, justnot really a type.

Speaker 1 (32:28):
Just who aligns, who fits into my life, who you know
will help me grow rather thankeep me down here who you admire
, Like oh, I admire that man,Like he's going to make me, help
me to be a better person.
Exactly, I'm going to help himto be better.

Speaker 3 (32:42):
My boyfriend makes me such a better person and he
helps guide.
Like we're both debaters Likethe personality type.

Speaker 2 (32:50):
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, you don't seem like adebater to me.

Speaker 3 (32:53):
I am.
It's the Virgo in me, I feellike, but and it just kind of
comes out the more you get toknow me but we just ping off of
each other.
A lot of people say debatersaren't supposed to get together.
But the women and men debatersare different, and so we just
constantly bounce off of eachother.

Speaker 2 (33:09):
No, I'm a debater too and I've had some contentious
kind of like was that worth it?
But I don't.
I've got to the point.
I don't care.
I'm like, if we're not right tobe like, if I can't have my
sense of humor around you andlike say what I really mean,
then it's not gonna work out 100and I like I don't know.

Speaker 3 (33:28):
I got to a point.
I I was like bad debater for awhile and I would sit there and
like really try to get my pointacross, but there's a point
where you just kind of have togive up because like whatever,
like we're not gonna lie andit's not gonna happen.

Speaker 2 (33:39):
I don't know.
To me it's more like fun, butbut.
But my problem is, sometimes Idon't in my mind this is fun and
we're trolling each other andlike bantering, like especially
with our guy friends I mean thatgroup chat, if that ever gets
fucking publicized we are toastbecause we just destroy each
other and like nothing is offlimits.
But like sometimes I'll do thatwith somebody I don't know that

(34:01):
well and I'm like oh wait,they're really debating this
like I'm kind of trolling andlike you know, just kind of
because it's fun, but they likeand yeah, it's kind of can get
out of hand sometimes yeah, it'sperception for sure and you
have to make sure that the otherperson's aligned with that
perception, because sometimes itjust doesn't work yeah, yeah,
what about height?
for you does height matter yes,um, it sounds bad to say, but

(34:24):
it's just preference everybodyhas a preference, does I think,
like, what are you gonna like,hey babe, kiss down, like, would
that not be feel weird?

Speaker 3 (34:32):
I feel like it would feel weird I think a lot of
people think by me saying like,oh, like height does matter to
me, is like talking down onpeople that it doesn't matter to
, or like men that are shorter,and it's just like.

Speaker 2 (34:45):
I mean, it's just preference, everybody has
preference, so one of my bestfriends is 5 11 and she always
comes to me for likerelationship advice, like, oh,
what do you think he's thinking?
Blah, blah, blah.
And she would always date, likeyou know, basketball players,
nba players, because they'relike you know, six, seven or
whatever.
And one day she's like zach,I'm sick of getting fucked over

(35:06):
by all these fuck boys.
I just want like a guy withlike good connection and good
energy.
Blah, blah, blah.
And she starts dating this guywho's like five, nine, which
isn't like that short, but like5 11 plus heels.
It's like she was like toweringover him, like shrek you know
what I mean.
Like it was like bad.
Uh, I saw them kiss once.
It was like it was like thedwarves trying to conquer the

(35:29):
mountain and lower the rings.
It was like it was like crazy.
They just didn't look good as aunit.
Yeah, and so I saw her a coupleweeks later and I was like, oh,
what happened to john?
Because, like I actually metthe guy who's cool, successful,
good looking too, like reallygood, looking like facially,
just kind of like shorter, andshe's like, yeah, he came over a

(35:50):
couple nights ago andapparently she had a couple like
glasses of wine beforehand andshe's like, yeah, I opened the
door and I gave him a hug andthen she was like I picked him
up and I spun him around andshe's like I watched his little
legs flail out to the side andshe was like after that I lost
all respect and I was like thatwas your fault.

(36:12):
But I get it.
I kind of get it.
You know it's tough, yeah, yeahpoor guy but that's the thing I
feel like if you're a dude, it'slike tall and good looking,
funny and rich, and you have tohave two out of the three.
You don't have to have allthree.
Like, if you're funny and richand you're ugly, you can get

(36:34):
away with it.
Yeah, or if you're like goodlooking and funny, you could be
broke and you're still good,like you could like girls will
still like you, Like goodlooking and funny.

Speaker 1 (36:43):
I feel like you need more.
You need more than that.

Speaker 3 (36:46):
You need substance.
Yeah, like, I don't know.
I think substance is the mostimportant thing to me personally
.
What do you mean by substance?
Like, like thought, likeintelligence?
Yeah, like intelligence, andlike I just I don't know like I
need to be.
I need to have, like, what isthe word?
Chemistry?
I need to have chemistry withsomebody and if you're funny and

(37:08):
good looking, it doesn't meanlike you're the full package
either, because you could alsonot be completely there, at
least like you know.

Speaker 2 (37:18):
But it's interesting how you phrase that, because I
don't see.
I see chemistry and substanceas two very different things.
Like to me, chemistry is likeoh, we have a vibe and we're
like making kind of the banter,and like you're in a room and it
doesn't feel like you're tryingto think of what to say, it's

(37:38):
just natural, it just flows.
Whereas like intelligence andsubstance, I see more like hey,
it's like three in the morningand like I'm really tired and
then my girl calls me that shejust got in a car accident and
like I have to like fix theproblem you know what I mean and
like I don't want to, but likeI'll sacrifice because that's
what I mean that's the minimumyou should do.

Speaker 1 (38:00):
Yeah, if a woman call at 3 am her car, something
happened like yeah even if itwas my man, I'll leave it.
Wake up and go help him.
Like I feel like that's justlike you're being a good person
I had oh, this one girl I dated.

Speaker 2 (38:12):
She was the worst driver in the history of man, I
swear to god, and she woulddrive.
She had, uh, uh, she drove herdad's yellow camaro.
It's like bright yellow.
It looked like the one fromtransformers or whatever, and
ironically she would like be theonly transformer that was like
more dangerous as a car thanlike the transformer, like it'd
be like everybody run.
She's turning back into acamaro.

(38:32):
Watch out, it'd be like that.
And so she calls me one day likefreaking out, like almost in
tears.
She's like I got in a caraccident, like what do I do?
I'm like are you okay?
And she's like yeah.
I'm like are you safe?
She's like yeah, and like itwas like a fender bender, but
she was like freaking out.
You know, she was like freakingout about it and I'm like, okay
, like stay on the phone with me.
Okay, we're going to get apolice report, we're going to

(38:52):
get insurance involved.
Make sure you take a video ofthe scene.
I'm like telling her what to do.
And out of the other car thisgirl walks out and she's
freaking out and she's on thephone with her dad, and so they
just like put the phones next toeach other and I'm like
speakerphone talking through thephones to her dad.
It was hilarious.
Hey, that's good.
Good, that's awesome.
It's whatever works, you knowyeah.

Speaker 3 (39:13):
Yeah, that's great.
Yeah, also, going back to thewhole chemistry and substance
thing, yeah, yeah, I think Iconnect those in my brain,
because in order for me to havechemistry with somebody they
have to in the middle of like aclub or like whatever.
I know that sounds crazy andit's like, oh, like I want a
conversation in the middle ofthe club, but like you know,
like I don't want to just likebe like, oh yeah, this club's

(39:34):
great, let's have some drinkswhoa and then just like that.
That just doesn't work for meyeah, I'm the same way I'm.

Speaker 2 (39:40):
I've always liked clubs that have like a smoking
patio, and I don't even smoke,but because if I'm like vibing
with somebody, I want toactually have a conversation.
Yeah, you know, like I and I'mwhite, so I like can't dance.
So like yeah, I sometimes I'mat these clubs.
I'm like I'm just like watchingpeople because, like some of
the clubs are so loud like youcan't say two words.

(40:00):
You're screaming someone'seardrum, you know.
Oh yeah, and I remember justlooking around one time and
thinking, okay, let me try tofigure out how these people are
having fun.
Yeah, I'm just they're justdancing and just vibing or
whatever.
And like, in my mind, because Ican't dance, I'm like like what
are you supposed to just wiggleyour arms for the next four
hours?
Like like, doesn't that getboring?
Like I need some like kind oflike stimulation or something to

(40:22):
like keep me engaged.
Like I just can't like sitthere like all right, I can do
this for like fucking threeminutes and then I'm like toast
but most people in la that goout, they are stimulated by
something.
Yeah okay, that's true.
Yeah, you got me there that istrue, they have a little extra.

Speaker 3 (40:40):
Yeah, happiness nudge in that direction but I also do
have friends that could not doa drop of drugs and could dance
all night.
Like listen to house music andthat they're happy.
Sometimes I think house musicis a drug in itself.
Interesting Because they mybest friend.
She loves house music.
She'll like sit there and likelist off beats, just randomly in

(41:02):
the middle of the day andbecause she just loves it so
much.
But then again there's peoplethat just do drugs and have a
great time?

Speaker 2 (41:10):
No, because I don't do drugs, I just drink I don't
either.

Speaker 3 (41:11):
I don't do drugs either.

Speaker 2 (41:12):
Yeah, not my thing.
Um, and so like I don't likeconcerts and people think I'm
crazy because like I'm literallya professional piano player-
and I I hate.
Like every time I'm at a concertI'm just like all I can think
about is like how much dr shoals, insults cost, because, cost,
because like my feet are likefucking killing me and then like
my girl's like let me get onyour shoulders and I'm just like

(41:34):
, thank God, I like skinny girlsBecause I don't know how much
like arch support my like beforemy arches give out on me and
I'm like I could just listen tothe same music with good quality
without like standing in themiddle of all these like sweaty.

Speaker 1 (41:47):
I feel like the energy of everyone singing and
like happy together.
You look around everyone's sohappy.
I love that interestingespecially in brazil, like we
are very like emotional.
So if you go to a concert inbrazil, people are gonna be
screaming and crying like yeah,yeah, yeah, yeah yeah everyone
hugging everyone.
They're like, wow, this isgreat I do love south american
culture really you guys have thebest culture.

(42:09):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (42:10):
It's like I like my culture too.
Everybody can dance,everybody's having fun, like,
even like.
Like Latino girls are likeAlways good kissers.
It's just like Automatic,whereas like we use our tongues.

Speaker 1 (42:23):
That's the secret.

Speaker 2 (42:25):
That's the secret.
I love it when Americans don't.

Speaker 1 (42:27):
When.

Speaker 2 (42:28):
I first moved here.

Speaker 1 (42:28):
I was like what is going on Like, where is it Like,
where is it?

Speaker 2 (42:35):
You're like you're doing it wrong buddy.

Speaker 1 (42:37):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (42:38):
You're like white guys.
It's like kissing a fax machine.

Speaker 1 (42:40):
No, but white guys usually they're way more
respectful.
Yeah, especially Brazilian guys.

Speaker 2 (42:46):
They're the worst, Really the worst yeah yeah,
especially brazilian guys,you're the worst really well.
Well, it's interesting.
I feel like in a lot of latinamerican culture, like I had a
friend who went to my highschool and well, he was from
mexico, but I think kind ofsimilar culture and I was dating
this girl and he like he movedthere when we were in high
school and then he came back tolike visit when we're in college
and stuff, and he was like ohyeah, like have you cheated on

(43:08):
her yet?
But the way he said it it'snormal was like of course you
cheat on your girlfriend.
It wasn't even like a oh wait,yeah, it was like so normal.
That's why we have so muchattitude.

Speaker 1 (43:20):
We're so spicy because we, if we don't- they're
gonna tap on us, I see, so youhave to be it was so normal,
like even when I was like ateenager going out to a party
with someone, was seeing like ifhe goes to the bathroom, like
he's probably gonna make outwith someone in the bathroom,
like on the way to the bathroom,because in brazil, like, we
love kissing so people kissother people all the time, like

(43:40):
you don't even need to know eachother's name.

Speaker 2 (43:42):
You just kiss and like keep walking yeah, yeah,
it's just fun, it's just likeyeah, I see interesting.

Speaker 1 (43:48):
Yeah, it's crazy crazy.

Speaker 2 (43:49):
Yeah, I went to Rio for Carnival one year.

Speaker 1 (43:51):
I'm from Rio, I'm going this year, nice yeah first
.

Speaker 2 (43:55):
So we went to Ipanema the first night.
Then we went to Lapa, and Lapawas I've never been to Lapa it
was just like the streets werejust filled.
Everybody like drinking on thestreets, like giving me shots.
I like have my phone when I'mrecording and they're like no,
no, no, no.
And I thought it was like, oh,like, is this a cultural thing?
Like it's like really, like, amI being disrespectful?

(44:17):
They're like nah, they're aboutto stab you and steal your shit
.
I was like oh, fuck, yeah, it'skind of, it was fun, though,
man the part like people don'teven go out to like midnight,
and then they're yeah, no, it'slike 10 am the next day we have
dinner, we take a nap and thenwe go out.

Speaker 1 (44:31):
Yeah, party at like 1 , 2 am yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 (44:35):
No, it's a fun.
It's definitely a funenvironment.
You guys travel a lot yeah yeahwhere's your uh favorite travel
?
What's your favorite travelspot that like not the obvious
ones?
You know what I mean, not justlike, oh, paris, switzerland,
switzerland switzerland, is youland there and you?

Speaker 3 (44:56):
can automatically breathe better, you walk outside
and it smells better than it isinside like the air, the air
quality air is insane I mean Ionly spent a day there, but it
is beautiful and you can justbreathe.
So good.
So that's like the not likebasic one to say, obviously like
sardinia yeah, pretty great.

Speaker 2 (45:17):
Yeah, yeah, what about you I?

Speaker 1 (45:18):
don't know I I don't want to say my country, because
I feel like I'm cheating, but Ijust love going to rio, always
like I'm the happiest when I'mthere.

Speaker 2 (45:26):
Yeah, yeah yeah, I like I like south america for
like partying with like a biggroup of friends kind of thing,
and I like europe for like, yeah, if I'm like taking a date like
a girl there, and then we likedo all the romantic you know
milan.
Milan is yeah, I went the firsttime.
I went to italy, I went tovenice and I was like, oh, this

(45:47):
is cool, but like kind of sucks,guys.

Speaker 1 (45:49):
I was so disappointed with the food.
I love italianice and I waslike, oh, this is cool, but like
kind of sucks, guys.
I was so disappointed with thefood.
I love italian food and I waslike what is going on?
What is this food?

Speaker 2 (45:55):
really you don't like it.
I thought it was really good.
I love it.

Speaker 1 (45:58):
I love it I think my expectations were so high and I
feel like in la, we have thebest restaurant, so like we have
a lot of like amazing italianrestaurants here and I was like,
well, I think like the food isbetter in la than in italy
interesting, I think, the foodis.

Speaker 2 (46:13):
People say europe has the best food.
It's just that the same qualityof food here is like 300 for
the dinner whereas, like you canget the same thing in italy for
like 20 bucks on the streetcorner.
You know what I mean, but Idon't think the food's actually
like.
La is like has very good food.
We have what?

Speaker 1 (46:30):
I mean, but I don't think the food's actually like
LA is like has very good food.

Speaker 3 (46:32):
We have the best chefs in.

Speaker 2 (46:32):
LA, new York, Like the food is so good.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 3 (46:34):
I will say the junk food in Europe is better.
It tastes better, and it's notas bad for you.
It doesn't have like all thered dye and stuff I was either
in italy or spain and I got alike bag of doritos and I took a
bite out of it.
I was like this isn't right andI was like, wait a minute, but

(46:55):
this actually tastes really goodand I didn't feel like crap
afterwards, like I felt fineyeah you know junk food
definitely better.

Speaker 2 (47:01):
Yeah, every time I go to europe any other vacation,
like if I go to like miami, I gowherever it's like.
I'm like, okay, I'm gonna gainlike three to five pounds
because, like, what do you do onvacation?
Like, oh, let's get some food?
It's just like, yeah, whateverI go to europe for two weeks,
eat like crap, eat like dessertall the time, go to all these
restaurants I come back the sameweight.

(47:22):
It's just crazy.
It's like there's like theyhave good shit in their food
also their portion sizing.

Speaker 3 (47:27):
Everybody complains about their portion sizing, but
it is a perfect amount for melike it's just enough that I
don't feel like engorged, butI'm full, so like after dinner I
actually feel like I can movebut yeah, do you guys like like
party vacations or more likenature?

Speaker 1 (47:43):
I used to party really hard and nowadays I'm
just like over it.

Speaker 3 (47:46):
So yeah, I just like to enjoy my friend group, um,
likes to party, but I I wouldn'tcall myself a party person like
we are, like me and myboyfriend, like grandma and
grandpa in the friend group wego out whenever you know,
whenever we feel like it, whichI mean it's still a lot
considering, but like you haveto think about la culture,

(48:07):
everybody's out all the timeyeah, and they go and party for
weeks on end.
So technically, according toeverybody here we're grandma and
grandpa, but according to myfriends at home I'm crazy and
I'm wild yeah, so it's like yeahyeah, so it's kind of like
split down yeah that's howwisconsin is yeah like people
are like first of all, theythink I just know all the

(48:29):
celebrities just because I livein.

Speaker 2 (48:30):
Like, oh, did you see like brad pitt at the grocery
store?
Like, no, I didn't see bradpitt at the.
It's a city of 10 millionpeople.
Like what the fuck?
Yeah, like you'll see likesoldier boy at the club or
something like.
It's like soldier boy.
Hasn't been relevant since 2005.
You know what I mean.

Speaker 3 (48:45):
It's like um you know who I did see at the grocery
store adam sandler no way.

Speaker 1 (48:50):
Yeah, I would like to see him.

Speaker 3 (48:51):
Yeah, I lived in the palisades and um what's it
called I love adam sandler yeah,walking into erwan, he's
walking in with his daughter andI was like, oh no, that's adam
sandler.
And so I walk in behind him andI just so happen to be going to
like the little bar, like thelittle like smoothie bar or
whatever, um to get a breakfastand um, so I walk up behind him

(49:13):
and I was like oh, hi.
And he goes, hi, how are you?
And then just like goes onabout his day.

Speaker 2 (49:18):
He was like really, really nice he seems like a
celebrity that would just belike the coolest dude, like yeah
, not fake.
The exact same as he is like ininterviews as he's in real life
.
He seems like he'd be like oneof those 100% and like he's with
his daughter.

Speaker 3 (49:31):
So I was just like, oh, hi.

Speaker 2 (49:32):
Yeah, you don't want to be.

Speaker 3 (49:33):
But he had basketball shorts like down to his shins.
He had his socks pulled up.

Speaker 2 (49:40):
He had his hokas on.
That seems like exactly what hewould wear.
You know, it's like he's thesame person.
He's the same exact person.

Speaker 3 (49:46):
I have a lot of respect for that you know he has
the same personality yeah 100it's always like right, yeah,
and it's amazing and I can seethat like even like I just had a
very quick interaction with him, but still he's just like very
like genuine, like happy, likehappy gomar hey, how are you?

Speaker 2 (50:01):
yeah, yeah, yeah, it was great.
Yeah, how was uh?
How do people in brazil seeyour life now compared to brazil
?

Speaker 1 (50:08):
oh, they think it's crazy.
Yeah, like I'm like I think weget numb to it.
You know, because when I firstmoved here I was like, oh my
gosh, I'm seeing this famousperson.
Oh my god.

Speaker 3 (50:19):
And I'm like, yeah, okay, like you get used to it
like you get jaded, what you getjaded, that's like the term.

Speaker 2 (50:25):
You get jaded like you're like oh, that's a new
word for me, jaded yeah you'rejust like oh, yeah, whatever,
yeah, it's my life, yeahinteresting, so I know you want
to talk about the fires that aregoing on, so what was your
experience?

Speaker 3 (50:40):
um, so I know that you talk about like
manifestation and everything.
Me and my boyfriend have justsat down, we call ourselves
partners now, like we're notlike we're dating, we're not
like about to get engaged, butlike we're life partners.
And so we sat down and wecreated all of our goals and
everything and we had it writtenout on a whiteboard.

(51:00):
We started our mornings withjournaling, manifestation, all
of that good stuff, and we endedour days with journaling and
manifestation and cleaning.
Five minutes of cleaning, andwe were just starting to get on
that, on that path.
And then we wake up on thefirst day that it was the fifth,

(51:20):
no, six, seven, I don'tremember.
Um, all the days are blendingtogether at this point.
But, um, so we wake up, westart doing the motions, doing
everything, and we finally feltgood, we felt like it was
becoming a habit.
And I was making us breakfastand we just hear siren after
siren, which is very odd for thepalisades you never hear that

(51:41):
in the palisades and so he'sabout to like get into a meeting
or something.
And so he was like what's goingon?
And so I opened the curtain andall we just see is smoke
everywhere we're.
We're like oh, uh-oh.
So we go up the mountain to seelike what's going on, just to
kind of like check it out, andit was like we couldn't tell
where it was.
We thought that it was like twomountains or two hills away,

(52:03):
but no, it was like the hillnext to us, and so we went down.
We um, we um.
We were like, okay, let's startgetting our stuff together.
And so, as we were literallygetting the stuff, like our
important documents, like weliterally just picked them up,
we got the mandatory evacuationorder and so there's only two
ways out of the palisades.
At this point there's temescaland then there's sunset, and

(52:26):
they're both, and temescal goesto pch and so it's just going to
get backed up.
It's crazy, three o'clock on,like a regular day, it's like
gridlocked anyways.
And so we're like, okay, we'vegot to get out of here.
We left with our documents andour um, like literally the
clothes on our back, and we left, um, it was already starting to

(52:46):
get like pretty, like it wasvery full of traffic.
I wouldn't say it was likealmost gridlock, but it was
getting very close to gridlock.
And so we leave, we go to WestHollywood and we're staying at
our friend's house.
We immediately lose power whenwe get there, because the sunset
fire started up in.
Hollywood Hills.

(53:07):
And so we were like trying toget our friend's house ready for
them to evacuate and liketrying to tell them what they do
need to take.
And at this point we didn'tknow that our house was burning
yet.
We lived on the other side ofsunset, more towards the beach
side, so we were like, nah, theywon't burn down.
Um, it did that night.
That night we were watching thenews after the sunset, fire had
already gone down and we sawthat our house went into the

(53:31):
fire perimeter.
We were like, oh crap, or Ithink it would.
No, it was.
It was the following day thatwe saw that it went into the
fire perimeter and so we, um, atthat point we're like, let's
just see if we can get in there.
And we went in there.
We found like a path to getthrough, because it was like
pretty locked down, but notfully.
We found a path and there therewas fires not on this side and

(53:55):
so we still weren't 100 surethere's a little bit of hope and
then we pull up and it's burneddown.
So that was kind of kind of theexperience with that, I guess
we're just trying to regroup nowfigure out where to go next I
bet, were you, were you scaredor did it?

Speaker 2 (54:09):
were you like almost like not thinking it was real,
so it didn't, or not thinking itwas a real threat at the time?
Or were you like in traffic,like oh fuck, what if the fire
gets us?

Speaker 3 (54:20):
you know what I mean yeah, so we went down to the
road and we looked back and thehill that we were just on was on
fire, oh so it was like thefire's coming it's like it's
coming like we need, like okay,yeah, we made the right choice
and so we, our house, didn'tburn down until like the eighth
or the ninth or something likeit was like much later because

(54:41):
they ran out of water.
um, so we our house was actuallyone of the last to burn down.
I think it burned down on like1.30 pm in the afternoon, and
the first two days were awfulbecause we didn't know, if our
house burned down or not.

Speaker 2 (54:59):
Yeah, and you're just not knowing.
The wondering is the worst part.

Speaker 3 (55:03):
It's the worst part.
It's the worst part.
And then, once you see it, it'slike okay, we have to move on
now.
We have to like, like okay, wehave to move on now.
We have to like okay, we haveto like start moving on yeah,
but there is like there was onenight that I stayed up all night
.
I just couldn't sleep and I likeit's not that.
I like I was obviously I'm sad,I'm upset, but it's just like I
can't believe.
You think, like you see all ofthis happen to other people and

(55:26):
you're like that'll never be me.
Yeah, yeah and then, it and thenit does I mean that, yeah,
that's the thing is like we aretrying, thank you, um, we're
trying our best to just be likepresent and look forward to the
future, because we can't justkeep reflecting on the past and
like it's just, it's both arereally smart and good people, so

(55:46):
I'm sure you're gonna build twotimes more what you had in the
past thank you, I appreciate itbut yeah just you just have to
keep moving forward in life.
Just like, like I said earlierabout mental health, you have to
like kind of like pick it up onyour own, because nobody else
is gonna do it.

Speaker 2 (55:59):
Shit happens, so yeah , it's a very mature way of
looking at it.
Yeah, you know, yeah, that'scrazy what mine was, uh.
So, like, I heard about thefires but, like every year,
they're like, yeah, there'sfires in la, and I'm like, yeah,
like way out in the wilderness,like usually nothing really
happens.
And then all of a sudden my uhfriend wakes me up and he's like

(56:21):
, yo, there's a fire on sun,like the sunset fire, like, and
my office is right on hollywoodboulevard and ironically, I
don't have that much expensivestuff in here, because all my
equipment is at the office, allmy super nice cameras and the
lenses and all the YouTube gear.
So I was like, oh shit, so I'mlike driving to the office to
try to like get all my stuff.

(56:42):
And it's literally like it lookslike you know Stranger Things
when the upside, upside downworld or whatever.
And there's like the ash inthere.
It was like that you Strangerthings were in the upside down
world or whatever.
And there's like the ash in theair.
It was like that you can seethe flames on the thing.
I'm like in traffic, liketrying to get to my office, and
I'm like, am I going to be oneof those stories that they're
like this guy tried to get hislaptop and then he got burned up
.
You know what I mean and I'mjust like so I'm like running in

(57:03):
the thing and like grabbing allthe gear and like stuffing into
a bag and like running out, andthen there's like traffic, like
yeah, it's kind of crazy I wasdriving to my friend's house in
was holland and I saw some fires.

Speaker 1 (57:15):
I was like this was not supposed to be here.

Speaker 2 (57:17):
I was like the fires.

Speaker 1 (57:18):
I was like so confused and then I was on my
way home and they were liketelling people to evacuate.
I was like, oh my goodness, butyeah I was like it felt like
apocalyptic yeah, it did all ofla felt apocalyptic honestly, I
live in marina.
There were nothing there, nofires and there was one night
the building by my building wasgetting on fire.

(57:39):
Yeah, meaning someone startedto shit.
Yeah, because like how the fireskipped venice and got to
marina and skipped venice, likethat doesn't make any sense but
people started like doing waterand doing a bunch of things and
they right everything was okay.
But it was like this is I don'tknow.
I feel like there's somethinglike missing out yeah yeah well,
we were.

Speaker 3 (57:58):
We were driving around because, obviously, like,
I have a screenshot of my likelife 360, because it like tracks
me throughout the whatever.
And I got like oh, do you stillwant to allow to use your
location?
And the dots were everywhere.
I was all over west hollywoodit was crazy everything.
And then, um, we were drivingaround la, like the first, like
three days after, three or fourdays after, and it was just

(58:21):
nobody was out nobody was doinganything, because it just felt
like everything went to a stopbecause everybody knew somebody
that was affected, and so.
but the way that the LAcommunity came together was
insane.

Speaker 2 (58:35):
I never would have expected it at all.

Speaker 3 (58:36):
It was incredible.

Speaker 2 (58:38):
Yeah, yeah, I remember those dots though,
because, like I'm always kind oflike the organizer, so like I
have everybody hitting up likeyo, where are you staying?
Or like girls like hey, what dowe do?
Like should we leave, should wego?
And I'm like, okay, like getthe hotel, like figure out where
we're staying.
And we got like this hotel andlike the oc and like there's
like six of us in one room justlike crashing.

(58:58):
Yeah, um, but I rememberlooking at the map and I'm like,
okay, let me figure out whereto go.
And it was like the entirething was red and I was like
what, if we like go to, like tolike Manhattan beach, and then
there's a fucking fire there,and then we gotta leave again.
So I went, like I went all theway to like Newport, like just,
which is like two.
It was like two hours Cause itwas like traffic and everything.
It was like what?

Speaker 3 (59:18):
We were so close to like just like leaving
completely because we went toWest Hollywood, the sunset fire
started.
And then the next day no, yeah,the second day, day two we went
down to Santa Monica to try andget in.
This was before we had foundout that our house burned down.
We were trying to get in andthen the Palisades fire started,

(59:38):
moving towards Santa Monica,and we got evacuated out of
Santa Monica.
We were trying to get to thePalisades, so we're like, okay,
whatever.
And then that night we found outour house burned down.
And then what else was it we?
Yeah, it was.
It was just insane.
It felt like the fire was justfollowing us everywhere.
Yeah, yeah, oh and then we wentto another friend's house and
the palisades fire expandedtowards um the 405, I believe.

(01:00:00):
Was it?
I think?
I think that's what it was,because everybody was talking
about.

Speaker 2 (01:00:03):
Is it going to cross the 405?

Speaker 3 (01:00:05):
yes, and we were on the other like right over the
405.
And so we were like, are weabout to get evacuated again?
Like it's insane and I don'tknow, surreal.
It was crazy.
Yeah, it was crazy, a hundredpercent.

Speaker 2 (01:00:19):
Yeah, I'm glad like for the most part people turned
out okay.
It was mostly property damageand houses, which definitely
sucks, but you know at leastit's yeah, people are okay.
So yeah, yeah, that's the mostimportant part yeah, yeah, yeah,
you were doing some uh likevolunteering me yeah no oh, that

(01:00:40):
was someone else's story thenyeah, there's a lot of things
like.
I saw people like a lot ofsetups and stuff like that.
So donating clothes and stufflike that, yeah, so donating
clothes and stuff like that yeah, I 100% would have volunteered.
I'm sure you had so much stuffto do and figuring out renter's
insurance and blah blah blah.
And where are we going to stayfor the next?

Speaker 3 (01:00:58):
you know, yeah, we were taking it like honestly, we
started hour by hour.
We were taking it hour by hour,and then we started taking it
like a couple hours by a couplehours and then day by day.
But yeah, we definitely wewould have volunteered if we
could, if we were in the mentalspace to do it, because I do
know some people in thepalestinians that did go and
volunteer which is amazing.

(01:01:18):
It's wonderful, but we just didnot have the mental capacity
yeah to do that because it wasjust so chaotic yeah, yeah, yeah
, no, that makes sense.
Yeah, it was crazy yeah, alittle, a little depressing,
sorry guys.

Speaker 2 (01:01:30):
No, it's all good, it's it's something that
happened, you know it'ssomething that happened so did
you go back to your house to seethe?
Were you just like, oh man, wasit just surreal?

Speaker 3 (01:01:40):
Yeah, it's so surreal and like we have been keeping
such a brave face about it andlike being like, okay, present,
future and.
But as we were driving into thepalisades, we could just feel
our hearts start beating I betyeah, and then we pulled up and
just completely flat justcompletely flat yeah we like
tried to go through the rubble,but it's just like it's

(01:02:00):
pointless.

Speaker 2 (01:02:01):
Yeah, yeah do you lose anything that meant
something to you, or did you getmost of the stuff out in time?
I only left with my documents,my passport oh, the clothes that
I was, because you were like oh, probably won't actually but
also we were just trying to getout, yeah, yeah, yeah and it was
like everything material isreplaceable I I was wearing and
I was thinking about mygrandmother's rings.

Speaker 3 (01:02:22):
I was wearing my grandmother's rings, thank
goodness.
Yeah, but I do.
There was like some more of herrings there.
There was like some sweatshirtsthat she had and obviously like
all of our like work equipmentand like computers and stuff so
yeah that that sucked, but I'mjust glad that we're alive
that's the most important part.

Speaker 2 (01:02:39):
Yeah, for sure.
Yeah, we got 10 minutes left.
Maybe I did want to touch onmanifestation a little more
let's do it do you believe thatmanifestation?
Is you doing things or theuniverse bringing things to you?

Speaker 1 (01:02:54):
I never really understood the word
manifestation.
Um, I I don't know, it's justlike I feel like if you think
about it, you're just gonna keepthat.
That's kind of what it is right, kind of.

Speaker 2 (01:03:06):
Yeah, yeah, I mean everybody has a different kind
of way they look at it.
Some people are very much youspeak into existence, it happens
.
And then some people are verymuch like you just have to do
all the steps and then ithappens.

Speaker 1 (01:03:19):
I just believe, if you give your blood you're going
to get what you want.
If you just try hard, if that'smanifestation, yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:03:27):
What have you manifested?
Moving to the United states umbeing able to get the green card
I spent five years withoutseeing my family, without being
able to live the country I had astudent visa.

Speaker 1 (01:03:39):
One time I left to max coaches with my friends.
When I came back, theimmigration took my phone from
me with the password.
They read all my messages,pictures.
They screamed at me.
They called me stupid and Ithought they were gonna deport
me.
Crazy and I was about to finishuniversity.
I was just like tryingeverything really hard.
Like I, I was really spoiled inbrazil but when I moved here,

(01:04:01):
like I have lived in somebody'skitchen, like in the floor, so I
I've done everything to deservelive here right, yeah, yeah and
when happened it was like sobad, and then I was scared to
leave.
And then, yeah, so I got to thepoint where I couldn't work with
what I wanted.
I couldn't go see my family, Iwas dating someone and I didn't

(01:04:23):
know if I'll have to go back orwhatever.
And we broke up.
So I was like I don't have myfamily, I don't have my job, and
we broke up.
So I was like I don't have myfamily, I don't have my job, I
don't have the man I want.
And then, well, I kept tryingand hoping and I was about to
give up and happen.
I feel like when you try reallyhard, you might get to the
point where there's nothing elseyou can do to get what you want

(01:04:43):
, and then the universe or godor whatever, is just gonna put
you there yeah, it's gonna dothe rest for you yeah that must
have been really tough, it wasyeah, I feel like it's one of
the biggest um things.
I got like I, I yeah, I gave myblood, I gave my everything yeah
, five years without seeing yourfamily, that's crazy.

(01:05:04):
Yeah I have to sleep in a car.
I I bought a car for no way whenI was in san diego and the door
wouldn't work so I had to jumpthrough the window.
The thing that shows the speedwouldn't work.
Um, and I had my whole thing inthe car.
One night I slept in the carand then I found someone on
facebook she was brazilian and Iwas like, well, she was renting

(01:05:25):
a room and she ended up rentingto someone.
I was like well, can I justlive in your kitchen?
So I was living in her kitchenfor a month.
Crazy yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:05:34):
Good for you.
Yeah, do you feel like a lot ofpeople know that about you?
Because, like, definitely not.
You know you come in, you'rejust happy, it's like nothing
ever happened.

Speaker 1 (01:05:42):
I have worked in a construction like fixing floors
and walls, like I'll take napson the floor, because it's
actually in miami the buildinglike at brickell, the one with
the lines, that has color yeah,yeah I helped building that
building.
But yeah, and I used to worklike in a really high floor.
And then the lunch break I waslike, should I go all the way
down the stairs and all the wayback?

(01:06:02):
And my mom would be like, comeback.
I'm like no.
And then I got fired from theconstruction.
I was so upset I was like, ohmy gosh, I'm not gonna be able
to do anything.
I got fired but yeah, I, I dideverything I had to do to get it
.
Yeah good for you, yeah that'swhy I think like you.

Speaker 2 (01:06:20):
I truly believe you have to give your blood was
there any point where you werelike second guessing yourself?

Speaker 1 (01:06:27):
not not second guessing myself, because because
I don't think it's a type ofsituation that like, if I learn
this, I'm going to get this.
You know what I'm saying Likeif I study I'm going to get like
that.
It's something that depends onso many other factors.
You know it's really hard toget a green card and I have all
the respect for every immigrantbecause it's not easy to leave

(01:06:48):
your family, leave your friendsand and Try a better life here,
but yeah, there were momentslike I used to cry all the time,
have anxiety, panic attack andjust like praying.
I don't have a religion, but Itruly believe in God and just
praying for God and, yeah,putting out there and and it
happened, and they have in themost beautiful way, and that's

(01:07:09):
another thing.
Like when we want something, Itruly believe that when we want
something and it's hard to get,it comes in the most beautiful
and rewarding way I believe that.

Speaker 2 (01:07:21):
Yeah, I think the best existence is like having it
hard at the beginning.
So then you appreciateeverything.
I think the people who just gethanded you know everything,
trust fund at the beginning andthen never have a struggle.
I think that's a lot of thepeople who end up like getting
into drugs and doing becausethey have no like frame of

(01:07:41):
reference.
They're already just like uphere.

Speaker 1 (01:07:44):
It's like if you start up there, you have nowhere
to go yeah, so it feels so goodwhen you try hard and you work
hard and you get what you wantyeah I have a lot of respect

Speaker 3 (01:07:52):
for that like beautiful the journey is always
beautiful, yeah awesome.

Speaker 2 (01:07:57):
What about you?
Of your?
What have you manifested?

Speaker 3 (01:08:00):
um, I manifested my boyfriend, um, because it was a
lot of trial and error,especially like living in
georgia I never thought I wouldever find anybody that actually,
like you know, was where what Iwanted, um.
But I believe thatmanifestation is literally just
being the best person that youcan possibly be and putting it

(01:08:21):
out into the universe.
I believe that manifestmanifestation is you like.
You have to put yourself in theright positions to manifest
things, because you can't justsay, oh, I want a Lamborghini
and then just wait for it toshow up Like that's not going to
happen.
You have to work hard.

Speaker 1 (01:08:39):
You have to get where you're going like she said.

Speaker 3 (01:08:41):
Like you know, it's much more rewarding when you
work hard than you get it.
So, yeah, I manifested that.
I manifested my modeling career.
Yeah, then you get it.
So, yeah, I manifested that, Imanifested my modeling career.
Um, yeah, yeah, it's pretty.

Speaker 2 (01:08:54):
So how did you work hard to get your boyfriend, or
what was the?
I went through a lot of uh,trial and error.
Oh I see, I see.

Speaker 3 (01:09:03):
Yeah.
Yeah.
I went through a lot of trialand error and I um kind of said,
okay, this is what I want.
I wrote it down.
I said this is what I want andI would not accept anything less
interesting, how long?

Speaker 2 (01:09:17):
did it take like two months oh, so we're pretty fast.

Speaker 1 (01:09:20):
The universe delivers yeah, yeah, I feel like when
you're in a good space withyourself, it's easier to find
people.
Yes, like you don't have to golook for people, people are
gonna find you.

Speaker 3 (01:09:29):
You have to become who you want exactly, to get who
you want exactly like that isjust and to have a health
relationship.
Yeah and I I went through a lotof therapy and I literally just
had a breakthrough like withinmyself and I started becoming
who I'm supposed to be andthat's the point where I was
like okay, I'm ready to kind ofstart dating, and then I wrote
down everything that I wantedand boom, two months later Crazy

(01:09:52):
.

Speaker 2 (01:09:52):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:09:53):
Crazy, yep Crazy.

Speaker 2 (01:09:54):
Awesome.

Speaker 3 (01:09:55):
I think it's a little bit, a little bit of both.

Speaker 2 (01:09:57):
Yeah, I tend to be more on the side of of doing
things like you were saying,like okay, you want the
relationship, so you createyourself as the person, almost
like the person that they wouldwant to date, exactly like it's
like oh, do I have my shittogether because I can't expect
someone to date me if I'm likedon't have my shit together and
I'm like have all these issuesthat I need to work through, you

(01:10:19):
know, yeah, like I said earlier, you can't expect to have
someone that's going to respectyou if you don't respect
yourself yeah, if you don't havelove inside yourself?

Speaker 1 (01:10:26):
how are you going to give love if you don't have
respect inside yourself?
How are you gonna give respectand actually build something
meaningful and there's a lot ofpeople, especially in today's
culture, that it's the blamegame.

Speaker 2 (01:10:35):
It's, oh, women do this, men do this, blah, blah,
blah.
And I'm like, yeah, but havesome personal responsibility too
.
Like what are you doing?
You know what I never trust.
Anytime I meet somebody andthey're like all my exes were
crazy, i'm'm like, wait, wait,were all your exes crazy?
Like there's one commondenominator between this.

Speaker 1 (01:10:55):
you know, if you're with someone, that is crazy, I
think you're crazy too right, Ithink, to an extent.

Speaker 2 (01:11:01):
To an extent, yeah, yeah, I think if you, every
relationship you're in is crazyor toxic, I'm like, okay, you're
definitely part of the problem.
You might want to start lookingin the inside yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:11:13):
Yeah, 100%.

Speaker 2 (01:11:15):
Awesome.
Well, we are about out of time.
You guys have been very fun.
Any uh, social media shout outsyou guys want to give.
Where guys can people find you?

Speaker 1 (01:11:24):
Uh well, my name is a little complicated.
It's G-I-U-L-I-A.
It's a different Julia, butpeople call me Jules, so I feel
like people can find me throughJules and my agency social media
.
It's Boca Agency, which is notgreat right now because I'm just
like it's just me and I'm inthe process of hiring someone
right now at the moment toactually invest on like my page

(01:11:46):
and getting more clients, butyeah.

Speaker 3 (01:11:49):
Awesome, actually invest on like my page and get
any more clients.
But, yeah, awesome.
And then I'm kale k-a-l-e smiton instagram and then I ate your
kale chip on tiktok that'samazing, awesome.

Speaker 2 (01:11:58):
Well, maybe we'll do a round two sometime.
You guys have been fun perfect,yeah, loved it thanks for
listening.

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