Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Technically, all
relationships are toxic.
I feel like there's so muchmore to life than just like
moving around every day.
I have a lot of guy friends andhe was not okay with me talking
to guys.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
There's probably a
high percentage of them that
would give you the opportunity.
In fact, some of them might beinto you and they're just
waiting for their opportunity.
Sure, yeah.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
I do go for
intelligence, like I want a
person who's very intelligentemotionally and intellectually.
If you can talk about a damndeal for an hour with passion
and make me believe in the ideathat a weed is sexy and amazing,
the invention behind it, theresearch behind it, the science
(00:40):
behind it, I would be into thatguy.
Speaker 2 (00:44):
There's a difference
between attraction and
connection.
Now the reason people thinkthat guy's got the looks of him
is because looks is the part ofthe equation that's the
difficult part Elevation.
Speaker 1 (00:55):
First in life not
bring you down, make you feel
bad about yourself.
Speaker 2 (00:59):
So when I look in
reality and I see that and then
I hear girls tell me, no, welove the nice guys.
I'm like where is this inreality?
I feel like people are tellingme the sky is green.
And then I walk outside and Ijust see it's blue over and over
.
Speaker 1 (01:12):
Sometimes people will
spark, and that can happen with
a good guy or a bad guy.
Speaker 2 (01:15):
Trauma is there to
protect you from the bad
decisions you've made in yourpast.
Speaker 1 (01:19):
It's good because it
fuels you.
It gives you the fire to dothings that you want to do.
It added to the fire, butthere's other ways to get that
fire and you don't have to gothrough that to get the fire.
You can learn from theexperiences.
You can become a better persontomorrow, and that's really all
that there is.
It just helps you resolve youremotions.
(01:41):
It's being and logicalquestions.
Speaker 2 (01:50):
Welcome to
Unattainable.
Glad to have you with us.
I'm your host, zach Evans, andfirst of all, thank you to all
of our listeners.
We've been getting a ton ofgrowth over the last couple
weeks and we've got to thank youguys for that.
Today we've got a special gueston the show.
This is Shani Shani.
Why don't you go ahead andintroduce yourself to the
audience your name, what you doand your star sign?
Speaker 1 (02:08):
Hi guys, I'm Shani
and I'm based in LA.
I'm a model actress and a cybersecurity engineer nine to five
at Google and my star sign iscancer.
Speaker 2 (02:19):
Cancer.
Speaker 1 (02:20):
Cancer.
Speaker 2 (02:22):
Yeah, I know a couple
, a couple of cancers cancers,
yeah, what do you think aboutthem?
They're fun.
Uh, they're bad for my mentalhealth, though no, we are
amazing for mental health.
Speaker 1 (02:32):
What do you mean?
Why aren't they bad?
Speaker 2 (02:34):
toxic, I think, is
the word that comes to mind no,
I fun toxic, but toxic cancersare fun.
Why toxic, I'm curious I'veonly had a drink thrown in my
face two times in my life, bothof them for from your people.
Speaker 1 (02:49):
You can't from my
people.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I've neverthrown a drink, have you?
Uh ever been in a toxicrelationship yes, one
interesting well, technicallyall relationships are toxic, but
like one really toxic forcancer is the whole the
relationship not for us normalpeople.
Speaker 2 (03:04):
No, oh yeah I don't
judge by the way.
I used to be very toxic back inmy villain era yeah, you had a
villain era.
Yeah, let's talk about thatwell so I'm a recovering fuck
boy, but back in the day I was aprofessional, not like these
amateur gen z fuckboys you seenowadays they're bird scooters
(03:25):
and yeah, they don't know whatthey're doing you guys fall for
dudes who have a bed thattouches two walls do you not
know what a nightstand is?
I don't I don't understand it.
Like like when I was a fuckboyyou would take your shirtless
selfies at equinox not at lafitness and you'd post on raya,
not on hinge.
(03:45):
It's just, it's different times, you know it's different.
Speaker 1 (03:48):
Yeah, so do you miss
that?
Speaker 2 (03:50):
no, no, I matured out
of it okay it was fun for eight
years and I got out of thefuckboy phase.
Speaker 1 (03:57):
Yeah, I never get
that phase though I never.
I just like, always think ofmyself like if I was a boy and
if I was a girl, extremelygood-looking man, would I do
that?
I feel like there's so muchmore to life than just like
around every day.
I don't get the appeal the.
Speaker 2 (04:15):
The problem is, every
fuck boy comes from a place of
insecurity.
That's the truth.
Speaker 1 (04:21):
It's more Like
reassuring themselves that
they're worth it it's thevalidation.
Speaker 2 (04:26):
It's not even about
the sex.
Actually, it's about thevalidation that this girl likes
me okay she liked.
I proved she likes me.
Let me make sure this othergirl likes me.
Okay, she likes me.
I'm good enough telling yourfriends look how cool I am.
I fuck this hot girl, blah,blah.
Speaker 1 (04:39):
It's essentially that
yeah, yeah, it makes sense.
That's I've heard.
It's mostly about themselvesand just finding the truth.
Speaker 2 (04:48):
So let me ask you
this when you dated the toxic
relationship guy at thebeginning of the relationship,
did you kind of know he wastoxic in the back of your mind?
Yeah, like he was fun anddangerous and exciting, so you
didn't care.
Oh my.
Speaker 1 (05:01):
God, yes, I knew from
day one it was bad news.
Like immediately when I startedtexting him, I knew it was bad
news but I was.
I just he loved, he love bombedme.
He was just very, verypersuasive and when we started
dating like he would he gave methe best birthday of my life.
(05:22):
At the time, like sir, gave meso many surprises a dress that I
was like waiting for.
I didn't want to buy for myselfbecause it was too expensive.
It just showed up at my doorand was he drove like a really
nice car.
I didn't know what he did, butI was like what?
You're too young, you're like21, how are you affording all
(05:42):
these things?
I just assumed that he camefrom a good family.
God, he was just bad news.
Speaker 2 (05:48):
But we had a lot of
fun yeah, and so how did you
guys meet originally?
Speaker 1 (05:54):
uh, we met at a party
.
Speaker 2 (05:55):
Okay, yeah, and then
how long did the relationship
last?
Six months okay so it'srelatively short yeah and then
and then.
How did it?
Speaker 1 (06:03):
end.
Just you know things happened.
It ended.
I just decided it wasn't for meanymore and I had to, just you
know, mature out of it,basically Because we were
fighting a lot.
It was just like constantfighting and behaviors that were
(06:24):
red flags and my friends wouldbe like how no, get out of that,
don't, don't put up with that.
A lot of jealousy,possessiveness.
He I have a lot of guy friendsand he was not OK with me
talking to guys, which wasinsane to me because I was like
I only have guy friends.
I don't know how to not haveguy friends.
Speaker 2 (06:42):
So here's the problem
with that.
It depends on the girl, becausethe reality is out of your guy
friends and I don't know yourguy friends personally, just
based on my experience in lifethere's probably a high
percentage of them that wouldfuck you given the opportunity.
In fact, some of them might beinto you and they're just
waiting for their opportunity.
(07:02):
Sure yeah.
And so it depends on the girl interms of is it a girl you trust
enough that you know she's notgoing to fuck around and she can
have these platonicrelationships, knowing that the
guy is potentially into her andthen still not doing anything,
versus a girl who who?
It's a red flag to me whengirls aren't aware of it because
(07:27):
they're like no, he's just myfriend and I'm like it's so
obvious, this guy's like in lovewith you.
Speaker 1 (07:31):
He won't say anything
, but given the opportunity, he
will pull the trigger um, Ithink a lot of yeah that has
happened to me.
I agree with that.
100.
Most of my guy friends I feellike have been into me at some
point and I was very much awareof that and I made it very clear
like, hey, this is not gonna gobeyond this.
(07:52):
I want you to be very clearabout that.
I don't want to lead you on.
If this is not something thatworks for you, we should stop
talking.
But don't ever think that beingwith me or like having a
friendship with me is going tochange how I feel and I think a
lot.
But a lot of times I'm notaware either because, like, I've
(08:14):
grown up around guys and I amaware, like how they think and
everything.
Still sometimes I'm not surelike sometimes like he's just a
friend, he's just being nice tome, so that that could be a
genuine mistake on a girl's parttoo yeah, no, that is true.
Speaker 2 (08:32):
Yeah, what is your
normal type?
Speaker 1 (08:35):
let's go look first,
let's go look oh my god, my
normal type, uh, blue-eyedblonde guy I don't know Very
like.
Yeah, that's my boyfriend rightnow.
Speaker 2 (08:46):
So that's my type,
and is it more like pretty boy
look or more like masculine?
Speaker 1 (08:53):
I would say pretty
boy, pretty boy, pretty boy with
like a little bit ofmasculinity.
Speaker 2 (08:57):
I see, I see yeah.
And what about height?
Height matters or no?
Speaker 1 (09:01):
Not that much.
I used to only strictly datetall guys, like because I was
just like such a thing likegirls, I was like tall guys,
tall guys.
So I was like, yeah, I guess Igotta date a tall guy because
that's the norm.
That I was just brainwashed andI'm not that tall so I realized
it's just kind of inconvenientfor me to date a six three.
Speaker 2 (09:24):
I had to wear it.
Speaker 1 (09:24):
I was like I
seriously like I would get my
neck hurts from looking upliterally literally um and no,
but so I'm not particular aboutheight anymore it surprises me.
Speaker 2 (09:37):
I the so the first
fashion model I dated.
She was 5, 11, so three inchesshorter than me, but with heels
it's, like you know, pretty onpar, and it was funny.
She told me a story.
She said she used to only datebasketball players, nba players,
stuff like that, and then shegot like fucked over so many
times by those guys that she waslike Zach.
The next guy I dated was like5'8".
(09:58):
He was like short king, right,but she was like he was so nice
and confident and he had hismoney right and all this stuff
right and I was like whathappened to him?
And she's like, yeah, so it wasthe third date and I guess the
guy comes over.
She had a couple like glassesof wine beforehand, so she was
kind of drunk and she's likeZach.
I opened the door and shepicked him up and she spun him
(10:20):
around and watched his littlelegs like flail out to the side.
She was like Zach zach.
After that I lost all respectfor him and I couldn't do it
anymore because she picked himup I was like it's your fault,
but I get it.
Speaker 1 (10:35):
I did it I cannot do
the guy shorter than me.
Speaker 2 (10:38):
That's definitely not
gonna happen like I'm no, so
height does matter, but it'sjust, you're pretty short.
Speaker 1 (10:44):
I yeah like I'm 5'4,
so I can date a guy who's 5'10
like it's not gonna yeah I'm notgonna be like oh, I only date
because I know girls who are myheight, who are like I can only
date six feet taller, taller,which is I don't understand like
5'10 is pretty tall for me yeah, yeah, yeah, all right, so
(11:05):
that's looks well.
Speaker 2 (11:06):
What about
personality?
What do you go for?
Personality wise?
Speaker 1 (11:09):
I um, I don't know.
I used to go for the typical,you know, pretty boys with like
the charm they show on the moveand in the movies and um, but I
don't.
As I grew older I realizedthere's more to people than just
their looks.
So I really go for like genuinekind heart and don't lie to me
(11:34):
no, I do, I do, I'm not lying,I'm not like I am absolutely not
like my boyfriend.
Like literally, that's like thefirst thing I got attracted to,
like how nice he was, how kindof a person he was and how he
treated other people and how hetreated me Like he.
Every time I was with him hemade me feel like I was smarter
(11:58):
and if I struggled, he taught mea lot of you know,
cybersecurity, knowledge andstuff Like he's really good at
it and he works for google too,or like um, no, he, he has like
an independent contractor.
Okay, um, but yeah, it's justlike the way he treated me just
really melted my heart and I waslike this is what I want, this
(12:19):
is what I've been missing.
So, yeah, I do go for that, forthat Maybe I don't know.
Speaker 2 (12:26):
I feel like I don't
know whenever girls tell me that
, because I started off as thenice guy.
When I grew up, I had religiousparents.
They taught me be polite andkind, so nice, and so I was that
guy for years and I just gotfriend zoned and friend zoned
and, oh, can you introduce me toyour friend?
I think he's cute, and blah,blah, blah, blah, blah.
(12:47):
And so finally I was like fuckthis shit, I'm sick of like
getting friend zoned.
So that's when I became thefuck boy for like eight years
and then now I've kind ofmatured out of that stage.
But I've seen like both sidesand I feel like even when guys
are the nice guy, it's like notthe niceness that attracts you,
that's like a bonus, I feel likeit's it's because he's like
(13:09):
successful in the same industryas you and that's like
attractive, because he'sintelligent and things like that
.
Speaker 1 (13:14):
Yeah, Obviously
intelligence.
I do go for intelligence, likeI want a person who's very
intelligent emotionally andintellectually, and um, that for
me is obviously I think it isabove looks now, because I dated
a guy who was not that smartand um, that wasn't for me so I
(13:36):
think intellect is moreattractive to me than physical
looks I have become increasinglypicky with intelligence and the
girls I date, but not from astandpoint of like.
Speaker 2 (13:50):
They went to college,
they read a lot of books but,
from a like social intelligence,people that are interested in
talking about psychology or theway people are, the way they are
, things like that, or yeah,otherwise I just get bored yeah,
I think passion is veryimportant for me.
Speaker 1 (14:05):
Like I have noticed
that if you can talk about even
a damn wheel for an hour withpassion and make me believe in
that idea that a wheel is sexyand is amazing is like the
invention behind it, theresearch behind it, the science
behind it, I would be into thatguy.
Speaker 2 (14:25):
Like all you have to
do is just be passionate and
just show me that you're truly100 invested in something, not
surface level but what if it wassomething like all right, what
if, like, there's a guy in thishypothetical world super
passionate, ambitious, and hewas like babe, I'm gonna become
(14:47):
the greatest rubik's cube playerof all time?
Sure go for it and you're likein bed, you're like babe come
cuddle and he's like not rightnow.
Babe.
Speaker 1 (14:56):
Blue, blue, yellow,
yellow, red, green, I mean you
think that he's attractive um ifit was something like that well
, it depends if it's goingsomewhere, if he's like actually
putting in real effort and ifhe's succeeding in that.
Yeah, I mean why not?
Speaker 2 (15:15):
you can't have the
losing room.
Speaker 1 (15:17):
Excuse player if he's
like trying that for for a lot
of like a long time, and it'sjust not going anywhere.
Speaker 2 (15:25):
That could be a
little off-putting like I see, I
see how old are you.
You're very confusing um, I'mas old as I look you seem like
you're like 30s, but you looklike you're like 19, with a fake
id yeah, like I don't knowwhether to talk about investing
(15:46):
or doing molly at disneyland.
Speaker 1 (15:48):
No, seriously that's
what people have told me that I
just look like too mature for myage.
Um, I, my boss asked me theother day.
He was very confused.
He's like I just want to know.
Like I, I kind of thought thatyou were like 18 or 19, but you
are doing so well at this joband like what's going on?
(16:10):
How old are you?
And it's like I don't disclosethat, I'm not gonna.
I don't want people to eithergain or lose respect because of
my age.
Speaker 2 (16:18):
So I see well, what's
the oldest and youngest you've
dated in relation to your age atthe time?
Speaker 1 (16:26):
I dated a guy who was
kind of old for me at the time
when I was in school.
He was 28 and I was like 20.
That's not old 28.
Well, he was old for me.
At the time I thought he was agrandpa and I was just like
(16:48):
always a little self-conscious,like oh my God's so old.
Speaker 2 (16:49):
He's 28 really.
That surprises me because sowhen I had my company in the
modeling industry, right, therewas something we call hot guy
phase and like new models cominginto the agency 18, 19, 20,
whatever they'd always be datingthe young hot guy six pack you
know dangly earring like these.
They're like clones of eachother, like literally one would
(17:09):
walk in.
I couldn't tell them apart.
But the most beautiful girls inthe agency, like the, the 10
out of 10s, right when they were21, 22, 23, it's like they'd
always be dating some normallooking dude, right, like some
dude, maybe dad bod, like, ifyou put on like a brown shirt
and you like dropped off yourups package, you wouldn't be
surprised.
You'd be like, oh, it makessense, but it would be always be
(17:32):
someone who's like extremelysuccessful and ambitious and
intelligent and usually quite abit older, usually like mid-30s,
maybe even like 40 sometimesinteresting.
Speaker 1 (17:42):
I've never done that,
I've never, I don't know.
It's it kind of feels like, um,I mean, I I kind of feel like I
can vibe with like anygeneration.
I just have the ability to justmold into the environment that
I'm in.
Um, I had, I mean, most of myfriends are early 20s, but I've
(18:04):
also recently hung out with agroup of late 30, 40-year-olds
and I was vibing with them too.
So I was like, oh, maybe oldpeople are not that bad.
They're cool too.
They have good taste in music,and they suggested some amazing
music to check out and movies.
Speaker 2 (18:24):
Yeah, um, I could
maybe see the appeal to dating
an old guy at some point, butright now I'm pretty happy with
my guy it's interesting, so I mykind of wheelhouse is like 23
to 26 is the age that I'm I'mmost happy dating I see if, if
(18:45):
I'm dating like I used to date,like especially my fuckboy days,
it would be like 1920, likelike that age range.
But I think it's hard to haveconversations with girls who are
like still in like collegebecause they've never had to do
the real world thing.
They never had to like oh shit,like I have to get a job and
like develop a sense ofdiscipline and and because of
that it's like hard to connectwith.
Speaker 1 (19:07):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (19:07):
Like that young.
Yeah, but I it's like hard toconnect with.
Yeah, like that young, yeah,but I but I do like girls that
are younger than me for sure soI have a question for you.
Speaker 1 (19:15):
Yeah, I know that a
lot of guys like, like you said,
like to date kind of youngwhat's the.
I, like you said, it's likehard to have conversations with
them, but then why do you dateyoung if?
What are you going for if theconversation's not there?
Speaker 2 (19:31):
what do you think?
Speaker 1 (19:33):
I know what I think,
but I want to know the truth is
guys are.
Speaker 2 (19:39):
There's a difference
between attraction and
connection, right?
So there's one thing thatyou're attracted to.
It's like that, like pity, yourstomach feeling of like I'm
attracted to this right likeyou're kind of saying before
with, like the toxic guy youdated, you knew he was toxic,
but you felt that attraction forhim.
Right guys feel that feelingwhen there's a girl who's just
(19:59):
like stunningly beautiful, andit's mostly visual.
The reality is like okay none ofmy guy friends would date oprah
, no matter most successfulwoman maybe in the world, none
of my guy friends would dateoprah.
But plenty of girls would dateleonardo caprio, even though now
he's older.
(20:20):
He's not really in his prime,he's probably like what, 40, 50,
something like that, becauseguys more so go for looks.
And the reality is, even ifguys get older, we're still
attracted to, or what we'reattracted to doesn't change,
right, just like if you gotsuper fat, you wouldn't all of a
sudden be attracted to fatpeople, right?
Speaker 1 (20:41):
so that's the reason
so why do you think guys are
more visual and lessintellectual towards their
approach, towards attraction,like?
Why do you think for you how aperson looks over like what
they're really made of is moreimportant?
Speaker 2 (20:55):
it's not more
important.
This is where people getconfused, okay okay so ideally,
I gotta argue with my momactually the other day about
this, because she's like veryconservative wisconsin woman,
right, she's like zach, you'rein la, you're always dating
actresses, models, blah blah,blah.
Like you should find like,focus more on personality.
Find very conservativewisconsin woman right, she's
like zach, you're in la, you'realways dating actresses, models,
(21:16):
blah blah, blah.
Like you should find like,focus more on personality.
Find a nice girl from churchtoday, right, I'm like, I'm a
very ambitious person so I'mlike okay, mom.
So do you want me to date ugliergirls?
And she's like no, no, not ugly, just like focus on personality
.
And I'm like, okay, so they'redoing.
There exists beautiful girlswith great personalities.
Of course yeah.
And then there's like notbeautiful girls with great
(21:37):
personalities.
So of course I'm going tochoose the beautiful girl who
also has a great personality.
Now, the reason people thinkthat guys focus on looks so much
is because looks is the part ofthe equation that's the
difficult part.
Let me ask you a question.
Let's say I say right now hey,like do you want this glass of
water or this gold brick?
(21:57):
Pure gold, 24 karat?
What are you going to take?
Speaker 1 (22:01):
It really depends on
how I'm feeling, if I'm dying of
thirst in the moment, right now, like right now.
But right now I'm not thirsty,so I'll go for the brick of gold
.
Speaker 2 (22:11):
Exactly so, even
though if I asked you what's
more important water or gold youwould say water.
But the reason we don't valuewater is because it's very easy
to get.
It literally falls from the sky.
We can turn on our faucet.
We can get water right.
The truth is the same as forgirls.
If I want to get a girlfriendand she's not attractive but she
(22:32):
has a great personality, it'snot hard because nobody is
competing for these girls.
The reality as bad as it sounds, if you're a beautiful girl,
you will have celebrities tryingto date you.
You will have musicians,billionaires.
All these people want to dateyou because you're a 10 out of
10.
So it's very difficult to getthe beauty side of the equation,
whereas because you're a 10 outof 10, so it's very difficult
(22:53):
to get the beauty side of theequation, whereas if you're a 4
out of 10, nobody's going foryou, so it's very easy to get.
So if I'm trying to get abeautiful girl with a good
personality also, right that'sharder to get that's harder to
get, yeah, yeah yeah, sure, yeah, I can see that so that's the
main reasonyeah well, why do girls uh go so
much for personality, in asuperficial kind of way?
Speaker 1 (23:16):
um, I don't know for
me why I go for personality.
I have seen what comes withlooks.
I personally feel like guys whohave, who are blessed with good
looks, are don't know how tohandle it.
Um, they get very corrupted andthen they start misusing it and
they kind of feel like theyhave to use it and, like you
(23:38):
know, get the most out of it andthat becomes the focus of their
life and that's just the mostunattractive thing to me, like
the person who can handle theirbeauty with grace and, you know,
not make beauty theirpersonality, but like also be
able to have a goal in life, toachieve higher things, to do
(23:58):
other things like outside ofjust their looks, and be
successful and passionate aboutsomething greater than just
themselves.
That's what attracts me.
Based on what I have discussedwith my other girlfriends, I
think it kind of holds for themtoo.
They also just try to go forguys who are just wholesome and,
you know, um, elevate yourpersonal life, not bring you
(24:23):
down and make you feel bad aboutyourself see, I don't believe
this when girls say this why not?
why is it so hard for you?
Speaker 2 (24:31):
to believe, because
the reality is there's so many
nice guys it's so easy if youlike, if you don't care about
like money or looks or any ofthese other things like there's
so many nice guys who are justthese little simp guys who just
kind of like would do anythingto make you happy, and all the
girls say they want them.
But then like why aren't y'alldating these guys?
(24:53):
I mean, I guess maybe you arenow, I don't know, but like
we're these guys all are likeall the nicest people in my
friend group are the ones thathave the hardest time getting
girls and all the guys that arelike kind of assholes a little
bit have the least difficultygetting girls.
So when I look in reality and Isee that and then I hear girls
tell me, no, we love the niceguys.
I'm like where is this inreality?
(25:14):
You know, I feel like peopleare telling me the sky is green
and then I walk outside and Ijust see it's blue over and over
.
You know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (25:21):
Um, I can tell you
that most girls I know I don't
know a lot of girls who havesettled down, but most girls
that I know who have settleddown have settled down with nice
guys.
Like I don't see a happy familywith like an asshole, um,
because that person's not goingto be a good father, that
person's not going to be a goodprovider, that person is there
for fun.
(25:41):
Every time I dated an asshole Iknew that there was a expiration
to that relationship.
I never looked at it as someoneI would want to settle down
with, like it was literally forfun, and I knew that in my heart
and I think that's true formost girls too.
Like they are just doing thatfor fun, for checking the box,
(26:02):
for making like you know, justlike feeling validation at some
point, like, oh, a hot girllikes me, guy likes me, but at
the end of the day they're notgonna make that guy father of
their children.
That I mean I just don't seethat.
Um, if they do, they don't endup in a happy family.
So if you want a good, happy,balanced life, I think you have
(26:26):
to go for people who areactually genuinely nice at heart
and not just there to fuckaround so what scares me about
that and I've been told by girlsI have commitment issues, which
is actually not true.
Speaker 2 (26:39):
I've commitment
concerns, they're not issues is,
whenever I talk to a girl aboutyou're, you're kind of
different than most girls I talkto, I will say that.
But most girls I talk to andI'm like, oh, tell me about your
exes, right?
She'll say this guy, yeah, thisex.
Oh, man, he is the most amazingguy.
He's so sweet.
My mom loves him, blah, blah,blah, blah, blah.
(27:01):
And I'm like oh, what happenedto that guy?
Oh, yeah, like I just outgrewhim.
Oh, we lost the spark or somenebulous reason, but she's
always breaking up with that guyand then whenever it's the
other guy, whenever it's like,oh yeah, like fuck this guy.
He's an asshole, he's anarcissist, he's a sociopath.
I'm like, oh so you broke upwith him.
And she's like, well, he brokeup with me.
(27:22):
And I'm like, so every girl Italked to is like breaking up
with the nice guys and then theassholes they're staying with
and the assholes are breaking upwith them.
Speaker 1 (27:31):
You see what I'm
saying I mean, I think that's
like a very um, you have to takeinto account what happened with
the nice guy.
I feel like, as a scientificresearch on this, you would have
to think about a lot of aspectslike what went down?
how long was the relationshipwas a?
Did she break up with the niceguy?
(27:51):
Because you stopped being nice?
Because that's also a thingI've also.
I've had friends who've hadexperience that she started
dating a nice guy but he changedas the time went on.
He turned not into a nice guyand that's why she broke up with
him.
So I don't think it's as simpleas saying like, oh, girls, just
break up with nice guys.
It's more about maybe somethingwent, something changed.
(28:13):
Their relationship wasn't asgood.
Sometimes people lose spark andthat can happen with a good guy
or a bad guy, but bad guys arejust.
I have bad guy friends who arelike that.
They just cannot settle downand I have asked them like what
is it?
Uh, they would be dating likethe most beautiful girl you
could ever imagine and he'shaving a good time.
(28:35):
I'd be like is she the one?
Do you think?
Like she's gonna be agirlfriend?
He's like I don't know.
I was like why, what, what'sthe problem?
And he wouldn't know.
He's like I don't know.
I honestly don't know they.
So like they.
Just.
I just feel like it's neverenough and, like you said, it's
about validation and about it's.
For some people it's just neverenough.
(28:56):
So I maybe like he is breakingup with her because he's just
done, he just wants to move onto the next thing.
And the girl is like you know,finally it's you.
Everyone likes to chase humanbeings.
It's our psychology.
You, we want to get what's notattainable.
So maybe an asshole like thatseems unattainable.
(29:17):
And when you pin him downyou're like, oh fuck, I like
achieved something great.
I pinned him down, but healways keeps you on your toes.
So it's mentality, it'spsychology.
I don't think it's because he'smore um, it's they've they've
done research on stuff like thisthat they, if like you, keep
people on their toes like you,keep them chasing, you keep them
(29:38):
guessing.
A part of your brain is alwaysactivated and it's not because
you're more attracted to them,it's literally just because you
are in your survival mode andyou are figuring out how to not
be in my survival mode.
I just want to get to a pointwhere I'm not feeling this way
and that's what keeps you in it,and I think it's if people like
(30:00):
heal their internal traumas andfigure out why they're running
for it.
You know why they're going forthe chase and not something
that's solid and makes them feelgood about themselves.
Speaker 2 (30:13):
It's their personal
issues and they got to figure it
out so I don't want so, likegirls have told me that, zach,
you have trauma, you should seea therapist.
Speaker 1 (30:24):
Have you?
No, you should.
Speaker 2 (30:27):
Everyone should see a
therapist no because I don't
want the therapist to heal mytrauma.
Speaker 1 (30:32):
Why not?
Speaker 2 (30:32):
Because my trauma is
there for a reason and in fact I
think I want more trauma,because trauma is there to
protect you from the baddecisions you've made in your
past.
You make a decision, somethingbad happened, right?
You, as simple as you're.
You're late at night, you'rethirsty, you get out of bed and
you slam your shin against theside of the bed or something
(30:53):
right, and it hurts.
So then the next time when youget out of bed, your brain is
like oh shit, let me watch outfor the side of the bed so I
don't slam my shin against itagain.
So when I have trauma aboutthings trauma, I call it
learning, but people call ittrauma.
I'm like maybe this trauma ishere for a reason and maybe it's
here to help me change mybehaviors in a way.
So, for example, right, myfirst girlfriend in high school,
(31:16):
like I said, I got friend zone,friend zone, friend zone
Couldn't get a girl to save mylife.
In fact, they started a rumoraround school that I was gay
because they were like Zachcan't get girls.
It was like that bad.
So my junior year, finally, myfriend was like dude, this girl,
julie, like she wants you toask her to prom.
I was fucking pumped.
I was like Zach, don't fuckthis up, don't fuck this up.
So we start dating and I wasthe biggest nice guy simp in the
(31:42):
world.
I would, literally every Monday, I would drive to the Walmart
between our houses and I wouldpick up some flowers and a bag
of the purple Skittles becausepurple Skittles like the bag,
that was her favorite flavor.
And I'd write a note and justleave it on her doorstep so she
would be like surprised in themorning.
So I did that every week forthree years and we're in college
now.
Right, so I did that every weekfor three years and we're in
(32:02):
college now we're getting ourdegrees.
And my buddy calls me up andhe's like yo, zach, I hate to be
the one to tell you this, butI'm at a party last night and I
saw Julie go into a room withsome dude.
They're in there for like 30minutes.
They come out together.
Everybody's saying they hookedup Right?
I'm like no, we're in love.
She would never cheat on me.
We're going to get marriedsomeday.
(32:24):
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
So I go to her dorm room toconfront her right and I'm
standing in front of the door.
I remember I was like shaking.
Right, I knock on the door.
She opens it up.
I call her out on it and shejust admits it.
She's yeah, I hooked up withthis guy and at this point I I
(32:47):
still the the worst part of itwas the guy she hooked up with
was the guy she would alwayscomplain about.
He's such an asshole.
He's hooking up with two of myfriends at the same time, behind
their backs.
All this shit, right.
And I was like this is the guythat you cheated on me with,
right.
And I still remember the lastthing I said to her.
I was like julie, I would.
I was like bawling my eyes out.
(33:07):
She's just like very nonchalant.
I was like I would do literallyanything to make you happy.
I just want to know why.
And she literally looked at me.
She goes like this, she likeshrugs her shoulders and she was
like I just got bored.
And that moment, right, I waslike I just got bored and that
moment, right, I was like I amnever going to be this fucking
nice guy, simp pushover guy,ever again.
(33:28):
Right, and I developed thistrauma right when I was like
fuck this, I need to change mybehavior so this doesn't happen
to me again.
So then for the next eightyears I'd wake up at 6am,
fucking, grind on my YouTubechannel until that became
successful and I would just fuckas many girls as possible to
try to go through my fuckboyphase, right.
(33:49):
So eight years later, finallyI'm successful.
My YouTube channel is doingwell.
I moved to LA, moved in amansion, hang out with a bunch
of models, cars, everythingright, and I found my ex on
Instagram and I added her andthen she added me back and then
that night I posted all thesestories of my you know, my BMW,
(34:11):
my mansion, all these models,blah, blah, blah.
And she unfollows me.
So I know it kind of like hither right.
So the next day I went toWalmart and I bought a pack of
the purple Skittles and I take apicture of it and I DM her a
picture of the purple Skittlesand I said thank you for making
me the man that I am today.
And then, underneath my lasttoxic moment, I was like so I
(34:34):
can get girls who are way hotterthan you and your big nose fire
emoji.
And that moment healed all ofmy trauma, instantly healed my
inner child.
Everything was good and I neverneeded to do the fuck boy shit
again.
But if I never had that trauma,what would have happened to me?
I would have been the nice guymy whole life.
I would have had girls, I wouldhave been a pushover.
(34:56):
Girls would have not respectedme.
I would have been lonely.
Speaker 1 (34:59):
So like the trauma
was a good thing me, I would
have been lonely, so, like thetrauma was a good thing.
Um, I have questions.
Um, so do you think your drivewas drive to do all of this?
Was the fact that she cheatedon you or did?
Did you have a different drivethat led you to this point?
Speaker 2 (35:17):
it was getting
cheated on and it was.
Everybody made fun of me forbeing poor because my parents,
like, didn't have a lot of money.
See, I would like showeverybody see.
Speaker 1 (35:25):
I think the second
point is what got you here?
I don't think cheating.
I'm sorry that you got cheatedon.
Speaker 2 (35:32):
That's like the worst
experience and I'm sorry you
had to go through that.
Speaker 1 (35:37):
It's a good
experience um, I don't know, um,
I mean it.
It's good because it fueled you.
It gave you the fire to dothings that you wanted to do.
It added to the fire.
But there's other ways to getthat fire and, like, you don't
have to go through that to getthe fire.
And I agree, I've had somethings in the past that, like
(35:59):
also fueled me and like um gaveme the you know push to keep
going forward because you, whenbad things happen to you, you
are more, you're challenged moreand you're pushed to, like you,
you have to push yourboundaries and just kind of just
go with things that you're notcomfortable with.
You learn to be uncomfortable.
(36:20):
That's what happens.
But you don't have to livethrough that for the rest of
your life.
You are here, you are, you havemade it and you proved your
point.
And I don't think like gettingcheated on was anything to do
with you being a good guy.
She would have done that to agood guy, a bad guy, an asshole
she would have done that toanytime.
People cheat on anyone.
(36:40):
It's about them, not about you.
99.
It's about them.
It's about their character,it's about who they are, where
they are in their life at thepoint how old she was.
She was probably like 18 19.
People don't really use theirbrain cells at that age.
They just they use theirhormones, and so I don't think
you being a nice guy hasanything to do with you getting
(37:02):
cheated on.
So taking that as a lesson that,oh, I don't want to be a nice
guy and I want to be instead anasshole and like fuck every
person who crosses my path.
I personally don't think that'sa good approach.
But, like you had fun, you gotout of it and I'm glad that you
did.
But I feel like therapy is agood way.
(37:23):
Therapy is not going to takethe trauma out of you.
It's not going to make you lessfun.
It's not going to.
I think you could have gone totherapy and still have very
consciously chosen to do whatyou were doing because that's
what you want at the.
You know that's where you werein your life.
But you're making a consciousdecision instead of you know
blaming it on her, that I'mdoing it because she fucked me
(37:46):
over as a nice guy.
Speaker 2 (37:49):
But I kind of like,
okay, so what if?
Let's say, I go to therapy,right, this therapist is so
amazing.
After three sessions gets ridof all my trauma, right?
Speaker 1 (37:56):
I don't think so what
am I?
Speaker 2 (37:58):
just going to be
happy all the time.
Speaker 1 (38:02):
No, I I don't know
what.
Am I just gonna be happy allthe time?
No, I think that would suck.
No, that's not what happens.
That's that's not what happens.
You just learn to process youremotions.
You learn to figure out whyyou're feeling the way you're
feeling.
It's literally therapy is math,it's, it's.
It's about math, doing math withyour emotions, just figuring
out, breaking down what I'mfeeling, why I'm feeling this
(38:23):
way, what are some?
You know, being very logicalabout it instead of being
emotional about it.
Right now, you're being veryemotional.
Your, your responses are veryemotional.
When you step out of it, yourresponses become logical.
You start understandingyourself as a third person and
you start seeing, like why weremy choices this way?
What made me choose this?
(38:43):
What can I do differently tostill choose the same thing?
Because that's what I liked, II'm proud of it, clearly, so I
would have chosen that no matterwhat.
But how I could have feltbetter in that moment, while
also choosing that because rightnow you're like oh, I'm a
recovering fuck boy, like youdon't feel that good about your
choices.
(39:04):
There is some part of it thatyou might regret of course there
is.
Speaker 2 (39:07):
It's hard to say
because it's like do you regret
things?
Speaker 1 (39:10):
because you needed
those experiences to become the
person you are today, but Iwouldn't say there were great
decisions yeah, like sometimesyou, and like you did what you
did, you don't have to be eversorry about what you did.
Like you can learn from yourexperiences, you can, you know,
become a better person tomorrow.
And that's literally all thattherapy does.
It just helps you resolve youremotions.
(39:31):
Just be very logical about itinstead of being emotional about
it.
Speaker 2 (39:37):
I don't want to lose
my emotions.
Speaker 1 (39:39):
You don't lose your
emotions.
Speaker 2 (39:40):
You gain more
emotions.
You gain more emotions, I gainmore emotions after therapy.
Even like after I made it and Icame to LA and like now I'm
doing well or whatever Part ofme misses the days when I was
more pissed off.
Speaker 1 (39:52):
Because it feels
amazing.
I miss the days where.
Speaker 2 (39:54):
I just woke up with
like a fucking fire to like
fucking get it Because I was somad I was like so angry, I miss
that to like fucking get itbecause I'm so mad.
I was like so angry, I missthat, like I almost wish I got
like I need to get bullied alittle bit more to like give me
some more trauma so I can getback into the zone.
Speaker 1 (40:09):
I know what you mean
and I agree with you 100%.
Like, anytime I'm on set andsomeone's mean to me or I have
this like experience, or I getyou, you know, turned down by an
audition or something I use, Ikind of like feel bad about it
for a second and then I get mad,and then that madness and that
(40:32):
fury kind of just you know, Iwant to do things and I get a
lot of shit done because of that.
Um, so yeah, their negativeemotions are also good for you
sometimes if you you know they.
They are, they push you forward.
But you can learn to use themin a positive way, like I have
(40:53):
learned to be more productiveand how to use them.
Even, you know, I have learnedto channel my anger.
Like, imagine if you couldchannel your anger, imagine if
you don't have to like wake upand you feel that anger and then
you can actually like channelit and control it yeah, but I
was doing that.
I was channeling it intobuilding my business what if you
(41:14):
don't need to be angry to bebuilding your business?
It's not the same.
Speaker 2 (41:19):
It's like I, I know
you mean.
It's like logically you're likeall right, well, I will just
take the same actions as I wouldbefore, but it's like I don't
know.
It's like you know, when do youwatch basketball at all?
Speaker 1 (41:29):
no, not too much okay
.
Speaker 2 (41:30):
So, mike, do you know
who this guy?
Michael jordan is okay, hisbest games was when someone
pissed him off, and I'm sure hisother games he wanted to play,
his best games all the time, butwhen someone pissed him off.
That's when he went into ragemode and just destroyed
everybody.
Speaker 1 (41:45):
Yeah, and I feel like
people pissing you off is not
going to change just because yougot therapy.
Speaker 2 (41:50):
I don't think that
goes away.
Speaker 1 (41:52):
I don't think you
become a saint on the top of
Himalaya just doing meditation.
It's like nothing bothers meanymore.
I am a peaceful little guy.
But I don't think that happens.
Therapy does not.
I think months and months andmonths of therapy heals you.
Um, but a few sessions woulddefinitely not do that.
Speaker 2 (42:16):
Maybe the other thing
.
I did actually technically goto therapy one time, um, but it
was my girlfriend's therapist.
Speaker 1 (42:23):
But like a couple of
therapy.
No, no, no.
Okay, so here's what happened.
Speaker 2 (42:27):
So I'm dating this
girl and she has anxiety, right,
and she's been going to thistherapist for like six months
since I known her and likeprobably like years before that,
right, and I'm watching herevery day and I'm like I have
zero degree in therapy, zeroexperience in psychology, but I
can 100 tell you why you haveanxiety.
(42:49):
Because every morning you wakeup, you take your phone in one
hand and your vape in your otherhand, you stare at tiktok two
inches from your eyeballs andsuck in nicotine like it's
oxygen, like that's why you haveanxiety.
Not because, you know, when youlittle, your mom hugged you too
tight and now, like you have atrauma from the tight hugs your
mom gave you, right, so I toldher that and she tells her
(43:12):
therapist and so the next weekshe's like oh Zach, my therapist
wants you to come to the nextsession.
Oh my God it.
So I go into the therapist'soffice and for half an hour he
just keeps telling me I'm thereason for her trauma.
I'm such a bad guy, like allthis stuff, I'm a therapist?
(43:33):
Yeah, I don't believe inhalfway well, here's what
happened halfway through thesession.
I realized because I'm reallysmart, I'm like this dude is
trying to steal my girl.
He's trying to paint me as thebad guy, so she breaks up with
me and then, you know, fallsinto his arms, blah, blah, blah.
So I storm out of the office.
I'm like fuck this right.
She comes running after me.
(43:53):
She's like zach, zach.
I'm like your therapist istrying to fuck you.
And she's like first of all,he's not my therapist, he's my
energy healer.
And I was like he's not even areal therapist.
Speaker 1 (44:05):
That the fuck is even
an energy healer.
Speaker 2 (44:07):
Well you go sit on a
mountain and get struck by
lightning and now, all of asudden, you get magic powers.
You're an energy healer.
Speaker 1 (44:12):
Like this is a
walmart brand therapist yeah,
that makes more sense becausewhen you were like, the
therapist used those words onyou.
There is no way a trainedtherapist would ever use such
attacking language on anyone.
That's not possible.
And if it, if they're doingthat, then they're not a good
therapist.
Speaker 2 (44:31):
So an energy healer
makes more sense for that
situation yeah so after that Iwas like don't go to an energy
healer, go to a certifiedtherapist who went to school,
maybe.
But but I also think that, liketoo many I don't know for girls
, I girls are different.
You guys have more emotions andhormones and everything right.
(44:52):
But for guys I think guys areare using therapy as a crutch
nowadays where instead of likeback in the day, it's like oh,
like you're stressed, okay, manup, fix the problem.
Once the problem is fixed, youwill no longer be stressed
because there's no problem to bestressed about.
Whereas, like nowadays, I feellike it's like, oh, little gen z
(45:15):
, boo, boo, are you?
Okay, let's ride bird scootersand talk about your feelings and
never fix the actual problem.
And then they go to therapy toput a bandaid on it and feel
better about their problems, butthen nobody like fixes the
problem.
Speaker 1 (45:28):
I mean it's like a
balance right, Like you got to
have a balance.
You can't just always talkabout it and be too soft about
things.
You have to like toughen up atsome point.
But I do like that men thesedays are more open to therapy
and are more willing to justunderstand emotions.
I feel like we have a societylike you said, like have I feel
(45:49):
bad for men because women wereallowed to be more emotional.
It's not that we just have moreemotions.
I think we were allowed to bemore emotional and men were not
allowed to be emotional becausemen were just always told like
you have.
Men were not allowed to beemotional because men were just
always told like you have toprovide, you have to take care
of your kids, your wife, and youhave to.
If you don't, put, your getyour shit together, there's not
(46:11):
going to be food on the table.
So men had to take the role,and it's a societal thing.
I think I wish that men didn'thave to go through that.
So like that's what your dadgrew up with, that's what your
dad told you and so that that'sa norm for you, like that's what
my dad told me.
Why the fuck are these gen zboys doing?
Speaker 2 (46:32):
the other way.
That's old school, like thattoo yeah.
Speaker 1 (46:35):
So, um, I I feel like
there needs to be a balance.
I feel like either we are goingon one extreme or the other
extreme.
You can still talk about youremotions and get your shit
together and still get the shitdone and toughen up when you
need to.
I feel like it's a balance.
It's a very hard balance to getto people.
Usually it can't get thebalance it's not hard, you take
(46:59):
your emotions.
Speaker 2 (47:00):
You look into your
own eyes in the mirror, staring
at your own soul, and you stuffyour emotions.
You look into your own eyes inthe mirror, stare into your own
soul, and you stuff youremotions deep down no, that's
the opposite of what you need todo.
You man up like what do youmean?
It always works for me.
Speaker 1 (47:12):
It's never failed me
before no, that's not what you
should do.
That's the opposite of what youneed to do don't bottle up your
emotions.
Share your emotions.
How are you feeling right now?
Speaker 2 (47:28):
I'm feeling good,
yeah, good but I'm always
feeling good, not even when I'mfeeling bad.
I'm feeling good because I likethe bad feelings.
That's good you.
Speaker 1 (47:36):
You have figured out
how to turn your bad feeling
into good feelings.
You should share that with theworld.
Yeah, you know how you learnhow to turn your bad feeling
into good feelings.
Speaker 2 (47:41):
You should share that
with the world yeah, you know
how you learn how to do that?
By not going to therapy andjust learning it like you just
do it over and over and thenit's just a habit, you know I
mean, if that what's work,that's what works for you.
Speaker 1 (47:54):
That's what works for
you, uh, you can't.
Maybe at some point you willfeel like you want it, but
here's an interesting statisticbecause you're smart, you work
for Google.
Speaker 2 (48:05):
How come the poorest
countries have the least mental
health issues?
Speaker 1 (48:12):
Because they're in
their survival mode.
If you're in your survival mode, you're not thinking about
emotions, you don't have time to.
If I'm literally thinking of,oh, how am I gonna, you know,
eat today or get to worktomorrow without dying, or, um,
also like I?
I do agree with that.
(48:33):
I visited bali last year and Irealized that most people in bal
, bali are not that blessed withmoney.
They do.
They were all work in tourismand they're always just like
welcoming poor you know theserich tourists from these rich
countries and basically servingthem 24 7, but they're very
(48:56):
happy and I they're genuinelyhappy and always smiling and
always like chatting andlaughing with each other and
very kind to each other.
And that confused me because Iwas like we complain so much
you're like you're poor.
You shouldn't be happy um yeah,I, I was like, I mean I was.
(49:18):
I was like do you hate us?
Like do you secretly wish thatthese tourists were dead and you
could, you know, kick them out?
Or do you genuinely like us?
Because I wanted to understandhow they were feeling.
So I asked my taxi drivers, Iwould ask my waiters at the
hotel, and they would all say,yeah, what's not to be happy
(49:39):
about?
We're on such a beautifulisland.
We are, you know, like I'm withmy family.
I get to like go home to myfamily after this.
So I think a lot of it could bejust cultural too, like what
culture you grow up in and whatyour priorities in life are.
I feel like we are verymaterialistic in the western
(50:02):
world and we focus on gettingmore and more and more and we
feel like if I can have moremoney, I will be happier.
If I have a bigger house, I'llbe happier.
Just another car oh my god,that's gonna fix all the
problems.
Having a very successfulbusiness, I think that's it.
But that's not what fixespeople.
That's why celebrities alwaysare like the most struggling of
(50:25):
every people.
I know they are, you know theyhave so much going on in their
lives and they're not happy,they do drugs or get crazy
plastic surgeries.
So I feel like it's cultural tosome degree.
I think um a lot of it issurvival mode, like they have to
(50:45):
just live to survive and theydon't really have time to think
about emotions or what beinghappy or sad even means I
definitely agree with thematerialistic side.
Speaker 2 (50:56):
Um, I also think
there's some level of just like
you know when you were five, ifall of a sudden the water got
shut off and you had to walkfive miles in the sweltering
heat to the nearest well everyday for a month.
Speaker 1 (51:10):
Yeah, you don't
complain about little things.
Oh, my girlfriend left me, yeah.
Speaker 2 (51:16):
Like you're like no,
we have water.
Yeah, Good yeah.
Speaker 1 (51:19):
I'm happy to be alive
today.
Speaker 2 (51:20):
Yeah, maybe I'll make
it to tomorrow.
Yeah, and I think nowadays,like kids get grown up and
participation trophies foreverybody, everybody's like.
Have you seen those parentswhere their kids are like
throwing a tantrum and they'rejust like, oh, are you okay?
It's like no, you gotta liketell your kids, show them who's
boss, discipline them?
I don't know it's, it's such atricky situation.
Speaker 1 (51:43):
I, I honestly, I
genuinely don't.
I wish, um, there was moreresearch on that because, yeah,
like I, I feel like thisgeneration is trying to correct
the generation of her parentsand, uh, mistakes of her parents
, and bring up kids in a waythat we thought we wanted to be
brought up, but also we don'tknow how that would change the
(52:03):
society or like, would that beworse or better?
Um, yeah, it's a very trickysituation.
Like, how do you?
That's why I never want to havekids, because I don't know,
like I, I don't want to beresponsible for raising a human
being and then being blamed fordoing everything wrong when
they're older.
Speaker 2 (52:22):
So I got a little
scared to have kids when, um, I
went back to wisconsin one time.
In wisconsin everybody getsmarried at like 21, 22, right,
and so they've been married foryears and they're exactly you're
gonna get married.
You're gonna miss the boat,like when are you going to get
married?
You're going to miss the boat,like what are you doing?
And I'm like, I'm just like Idon't know if it's the right
(52:44):
time, blah, blah, blah.
So then later in theconversation I asked him I was
like what's your like ideal day?
Like you wake up, what's likeyour perfect day?
And one guy's like yeah, I wakeup, my mom's wife or my wife's
mom takes the kids, my wife goesout with her girlfriends and I
just have poker night with theboys, watch the game, have some
(53:05):
beers right, and I'm like yourperfect day.
I can do every single day of mylife.
And that just made me thinklike man, this is normal to me
and this is like what you wouldlike aim for.
So that's why I'm like I don'tknow about the kids thing yeah,
I.
Speaker 1 (53:23):
I think people who
want kids have very different
priorities, and it's just likefor me my priority is my career.
I just want to make money sure,making money, um, hopefully I
can also help people along theway.
But yeah, I feel like when youhave a kid, your entire focus
(53:48):
shifts to taking care of thisone human or these few humans
that is in your bubble.
I would rather help a largerpopulation and help more people
like, help kids, a lot of kids,instead of just helping one kid.
Why reduce yourself to that onelittle human being?
Speaker 2 (54:06):
Yeah, that's very
sweet of you.
Speaker 1 (54:08):
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (54:09):
All right, Shani,
we're about out of time.
I got a couple of rapid-firequestions for you.
Speaker 1 (54:13):
Cool, I'm ready.
Favorite food Ramen.
Speaker 2 (54:17):
Oh interesting.
Have you been to the one onMelrose?
It's like two blocks from here,Ramen, oh interesting.
Speaker 1 (54:22):
Have you been to the
one?
On Melrose it's like two blocksfrom here.
Yeah, I've been there.
Speaker 2 (54:25):
Well.
Speaker 1 (54:25):
I want to correct
that African food.
Speaker 2 (54:26):
Oh have you been to.
Speaker 1 (54:27):
Ubuntu no, must try
so good, that's in LA.
Speaker 2 (54:30):
Yeah, in Melrose.
Okay, I'll check it out.
Speaker 1 (54:33):
Favorite candy I
don't like candies, strawberries
, the nature's candy favoritefirst date spot or activity on a
beach or hiking interesting.
You gotta be careful withhiking that's how you end up on
one of those shows we haven'tseen shawnee in 48 hours there's
(54:55):
a helicopter, yeah, what?
Speaker 2 (54:59):
what's the next
travel destination?
You haven't been to that youwould like to go to at some
point.
Speaker 1 (55:04):
Um, I want to go to
iceland this year because the
northern lights are going to bereally bright after 11 years.
Speaker 2 (55:11):
So is that the one
where with the ice and the hot
springs, or is that greenland?
Speaker 1 (55:16):
yeah, that's, that's
iceland yeah, nice, all right.
Speaker 2 (55:19):
Well, this has been
fun really fun where can people
find you any instagram you wantto shout out to or something?
Speaker 1 (55:25):
yeah, of course, um,
just my handle is shaneej and
all my first name, last name andum, yeah, same thing on tiktok
awesome.
Well, we'll have to do a roundtwo sometime of course I'd be
very excited to come back allright, take care everybody.