June 3, 2025 • 54 mins
Tyler joins us to share her experiences navigating the dating scene after ending a six-year relationship at age 23. Her fresh perspective as someone who's never dated as an adult brings unique insights into the complicated world of modern relationships and self-discovery.
• Dating as an adult for the first time is confusing when you've only known one serious relationship
• LA dating scene presents challenges with narcissists, fuckboys, and people who are hard to read
• Finding balance between masculine and feminine energy can be difficult in relationships
• Social media dating advice often complicates relationships rather than helping
• Ambition matters more than current financial success when looking for potential partners
• It's important to maintain female standards in dating while understanding your own needs
• Tyler finds herself in a "villain era" after her breakup, learning more about herself
• The benefits of keeping things casual but still treating people with respect
• Defining what you want in a relationship is challenging but necessary for growth
• Marriage seems like a possibility, but children aren't currently in Tyler's plans
Follow Tyler on Instagram at @tvlertavv to keep up with her journey.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
It's hard to read people.
I feel like guys are also justreally hard to read, Like your
intentions just never very clear.
We just have so many moreemotions.
We just feel more.
We have a lot more like thingswe easily get attached to
because that's just how we'relike built.
Respect me as a like a person,and so I feel like, once you hit
(00:20):
a certain age where justeverything becomes more real.
But then as I got older I thinkthis was even like during
college.
Maybe after college I wasstarting to like I don't think I
like only Asian.
Speaker 2 (00:33):
If I was a girl, I would for sure want somebody
taller than me.
I feel like it makes a girlfeel in her feminine Personality
is everything.
Speaker 1 (00:42):
Don't be an asshole.
Speaker 2 (00:44):
Treat service workers with respect girls always I
like a guy who treats the waiterwell.
I'm like where are the guys whodon't treat waiter as well?
I never have met a singleperson in my life that like
treats the waiter like shitafter having left that
relationship.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
That's kind of when I'm like, yeah, I think I would
prefer to be more in my 70s.
Speaker 2 (01:08):
Welcome to Unattainable.
Glad to have you with us.
I'm your host, Zach Evans, andfirst of all, thank you to all
of our listeners.
We've been getting a ton ofgrowth over the last couple of
weeks and we got to thank youguys for that.
Today we've got a special gueston the show.
This is Tyler.
Tyler, go ahead, Introduceyourself to the audience, Name
what you do and your star sign.
Speaker 1 (01:26):
Okay, so my name is Tyler, I'm a dancer, model
actress, I work in film and I'ma Virgo, so I'm a strong
perfectionist when it comes toliterally everything.
It's a blessing and a curse.
Speaker 2 (01:41):
I've dated a few Virgos.
You guys are very fun.
Speaker 1 (01:44):
I agree, and very bad for my mental health.
Yeah, I agree with that too.
Speaker 2 (01:48):
I think toxic would be the word that comes to mind.
Speaker 1 (01:51):
See, I think that's the problem, though it's just so
Because we're just suchperfectionists and we're so
peculiar in how things go.
I feel like that also justmanifests into relationship when
something doesn't happen theway you expect it to.
Speaker 2 (02:09):
Your brain just like goes fucking haywire.
Speaker 1 (02:10):
Are we allowed to curse on this, or yeah, yeah, go
, okay.
T I wasn't sure, so I didn'twant to have to make you do that
over again.
But yeah, so I think just theperfect over perfectionist
mindset is a killer I see, I seeand do you?
Speaker 2 (02:21):
do you end up in toxic relationships a lot, or
have you?
Have you experienced the LAtoxic situation?
Speaker 1 (02:28):
So it's actually funny we are talking about
relationships now, cause Iactually two, two and a half
months ago, got out of along-term relationship.
We had been together for likesix, six and a half years, damn.
And then I was like I'm 23 andso I'm still pretty fucking
young and we had been datingsince we were like what, 16, 17,
(02:51):
and so since the breakup isvery recent, this is my first
time just actually like fuckingdating interesting.
Speaker 2 (02:58):
Are you enjoying it, or is it uh scary?
Speaker 1 (03:03):
it's confusing, it's it's new because, again, I've
never like had to do any of thisas an adult because I was like
again, it was like high schoolyeah, it was like from high
school, like through college andthen like into our, like our
adult lives and so again likelike long-term serious
relationship, and so once thathappened I was like.
I was like I don't know how theI don't know what the fuck the
(03:24):
dating scene is.
Speaker 2 (03:25):
Like.
Speaker 1 (03:25):
I know nothing about dating period.
Speaker 2 (03:29):
Yeah, I will teach you all the ways.
Speaker 1 (03:31):
Yeah, so if any of the viewers or listeners have
advice for me?
That'd be great.
Speaker 2 (03:37):
Are you, uh, currently, do you go out meet
people?
Are you on the apps or anything?
Um, well, I'm not on the apps,but people have stay away stay.
Speaker 1 (03:47):
Yeah, I, I feel like I should.
I feel like if I were todownload them.
It's almost like a game youknow, it's just a game.
But the people that I have metor I guess I'm even like talking
to, if you can say I've justmet them through like gigs and
like.
Obviously we have like eachother's instagram, so that's how
I guess I have met my potentialsuitors.
Speaker 2 (04:08):
But are you 40?
Are your suitors courting?
Speaker 1 (04:13):
you.
They're courting me.
Oh god, no, but yeah.
So it's just been a.
It's just been a fuckingwhirlwind I see ever since.
Yeah.
So if you have any advice ondating life, especially here in
la, because I'm probably goingto be here for a hot minute- so
LA, la is.
Speaker 2 (04:29):
it's like playing the video game on a hard mode.
There's there's narcissists,there's fuckboys, there's nice
guys, there's sugar daddy scene,only fans people.
It's very like you have to likeread people.
Like you have to like readpeople.
(04:49):
Yeah, um, it's, it's.
Do you?
Do you typically go for morelike the nice sweet guys or more
of like the, the guys with alittle bit of edge?
Speaker 1 (04:56):
see, I'd probably have to say right now more so
guys with like an edge to them.
But maybe that's also justbecause I'm in my villain era
right now, after all that'shappened.
I mean, I feel like if you canbe like nice and sweet but also
still have a little bit ofedginess to you in some way.
But again, like you said, it'shard to read people because it's
(05:18):
like it's just complicated.
I feel like guys are also justreally hard to read or like your
intentions just never veryclear, because no one's like
adult anymore, like it's alljust a game.
They're never really likestraightforward with you most of
the times, and so you're herelike stuck thinking oh, this
(05:39):
guy's like super great formonths or whatever, and then,
suddenly something happens andit just like flips, like they
don't talk to you anymore.
It just like flips, like theydon't talk to you anymore.
They ghost you, they don'tcommunicate anything and then
like at least like in a woman'sperspective you're just left
like heartbroken and confused.
Speaker 2 (05:54):
so well, this new breed of dudes is built
different yeah, that's, true, soI.
I grew up like the nice guy,right yeah very like religious
parents yeah and sweet and gotfriend zoned like a thousand
times yeah and then I was likefuck this.
And then I turned into thebiggest fuck boy, sociopath,
narcissist, did that route forlike eight years and then I kind
(06:14):
of graduated from that and I'mkind of like I can see the whole
picture and like back in theday like I was a professional
fuck boy.
Okay, a professional, not likethese amateur Gen Z fuck boys
nowadays, yeah, yeah.
The bird scooters and thefucking like like y'all date
guys that have a bed thattouches like two walls.
Speaker 1 (06:33):
Don't even get me started with that.
Do not know what a nightstandis.
Don't even get me started withthat.
Speaker 2 (06:37):
Like stop dating these losers.
Speaker 1 (06:39):
Oh, my God.
Speaker 2 (06:40):
Yeah, my friend is dating this guy.
She showed me the picture andit's like a shirtless selfie
that he took at la fitness.
It's like, first of all, becomea real fuck boy and take your,
your pictures at equinox.
When you take, show us I wasjust about to say equinox and
not equinox fucking culver cityI'm talking west hollywood,
(07:00):
maybe beverly hills, if you'reover age of 40 or in a pinch and
then post them on Raya and notHinge.
Speaker 1 (07:07):
Raya.
Speaker 2 (07:08):
It's like but but these guys, nowadays it's just a
different, it's a differentvibe.
But the thing I've alwayswondered like I would tell girls
, cause I was straight up withgirls, even though I was a fuck
boy, I was like an honest fuckboy I would say I don't want a
relationship, I don't wantanything exclusive.
Speaker 1 (07:22):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (07:23):
And it's like they wouldn't believe me.
But I was being very likeforward with them.
So I'm like do girls kind ofknow in the back of their mind
or not, is it like?
Speaker 1 (07:30):
Like as in they thought you were like you were
just lying about being casual,that you wanted to actually be
serious.
Speaker 2 (07:36):
Yeah, or they thought Like I've had multiple girls
say like yeah, you need to likego to therapy so you can express
your feelings more, and I'mlike no, I just don't want a
relationship.
It's not that like I have thesedeep down feelings that I had
for you and then I just couldn'tget over them because I didn't
go to therapy.
Speaker 1 (07:55):
It was just like yeah .
Speaker 2 (07:56):
Or maybe they thought they could change me, or
something like that.
I'm not sure.
Speaker 1 (07:59):
Well, I feel like it depends on like what level the
girl's at, because at least forme, for example, obviously
having just got out of like along-term serious relationship,
I'm obviously not looking foranything like serious or like
super committal at the moment.
And so even if, like a guy wereto come up to me and be like hey
, like it's just, I'm notlooking for anything, it's just
(08:21):
casual, we're just gonna likehang out, whatever, I'm
personally cool with thatbecause I think that's just the
stage of my life that I'm in.
But I feel like for most of thegirls and also we just we just
have so many more emotions, wejust feel more, we have a lot
more like things we easily getattached to because that's just
how we're like built, and so Ifeel like obviously, if girls
(08:44):
are out in the dating scene,they're probably looking for
something more on like theserious side, and again too,
with things that become verycasual, like you don't have to
be dating necessarily or havelike a label or be exclusive to
still feel like you're beingtreated like a human being.
Cause there have been someinstances for me where like even
though like it's like you cankeep it casual, but at least
(09:07):
still like be nice to me, we cantalk, we can still be like
intimate in some ways aboutthings, but then in other cases,
like you, quite literally, I'mjust like a booty call and then
you don't like really talk to meafter that and I feel like
there's like a difference you'relike I want to respect
respectable yeah at least justlike, respect me as
Speaker 2 (09:26):
a like, a person like I'm just want you don't want
just come over sex, get out ofmy house, you want like okay, at
least we like hang out, we havesome kind of connection, yeah
exactly, exactly.
Speaker 1 (09:35):
And so I feel like, especially with the term casual,
because, again, if both thesethings are very much casual, but
like they're just handled insuch different ways, and I feel
like again, like I again maybeI'm at a different stage in my
life now where I'm not, since Ialready know I'm not expecting
anything like incredible, likeI'm not really caught up on any
(09:56):
of this, but again like, let'ssay, if it's already been like
months or like years since mybreakup and I was looking for
something a little more serious,then, yeah, that behavior would
like fucking suck.
Speaker 2 (10:07):
Yeah, you're very interesting because you come off
like you're 31, 32, somethinglike that, but you look like
you're like 19, with a fake ID.
Speaker 1 (10:19):
That's crazy, it's like.
Speaker 2 (10:20):
My brain is like do we talk about investing or like
doing Molly at Disneyland?
Speaker 1 (10:24):
That's crazy.
It's very confusing, becauseI've always been told I look
older than I am.
Speaker 2 (10:28):
Really yeah, that's surprising yeah.
Like ever since I've been like22.
Do you get carded?
Huh, like when you go out, doyou get carded?
I mean like Most of the time.
Speaker 1 (10:36):
I mean, yeah, like I, though, the very first time I
did turn 21 and like the veryfirst time I did go into a
restaurant to ask for a drink, Iwas so excited, I was like wow,
it's my moment to shine.
It's about time, and I didn'teven get id'd and so I was like
god damn it.
Speaker 2 (10:52):
You're like have it ready.
You're like, yeah, like I waslike 21.
Speaker 1 (10:55):
I was ready to like, reach into my purse, grab my
wallet and be like yeah, I gotmy id for you, but no, they
didn't ask so.
So people always guess I'm likelike mid to later 20s, like
maybe 25, 26.
No, I'm still 23.
Still a little young.
Speaker 2 (11:11):
What's the what's the oldest and the youngest you've
dated?
Speaker 1 (11:14):
Dated.
Speaker 2 (11:14):
In comparison to, like, your age at the time.
Speaker 1 (11:17):
Well, I mean again like the only person I really
dated was my ex.
Speaker 2 (11:20):
Or like situationship whatever.
Well, youngest, youngest, sameage as me, so like we were only
like two months apart, so likethat was the youngest oldest 28
28, that surprises me a littlebit why, so I I owned a company
in the modeling industry for adecade and there was something
(11:42):
that we would call hot guy phaseokay and it's like when a new
model would come into the agencyright 18, 19, 20 they'd always
be dating some young hot guy andthese guys were like clones of
each other, like they had thelittle tiktok hair like they
looked exactly the same, likecar, like carbon copies yeah
literally.
But whenever girls turn you know21, 22, 23 the most beautiful
(12:05):
girls in the agency would alwaysbe dating some like normal
looking dude right like maybedad bod yeah, yeah, if you put
on a brown shirt and likedropped off your ups package,
like you wouldn't be surprisedyeah like, okay, makes sense,
but the guys would always beextremely successful or
ambitious or confident andintelligent, usually older by
(12:28):
like eight to 10 years, justbecause that's what it takes.
And it was almost like they gotbored of the hot guys after a
while and they they wantedsomething with more substance.
Someone who's more of likeprovider type.
Speaker 1 (12:40):
Yeah, well, I mean, I feel like that's just natural
and biological.
Like when you're younger, it'sobviously like, even if you're
just in high school, it's allfor funsies.
You know you're not obviously ata point in your life where
you're being serious andthinking about, like, your
future and like an actual, likelegitimate sense.
And so I feel like once you hita certain age where just
everything becomes more real,you're also looking for someone
(13:01):
who's on the same page.
Also looking for someone who'son the same page, and typically
that guy just does end up beingolder, just because, like
scientifically, like women justmature faster than men.
And so I feel like having, likeyou see, a woman who's dating
an older dude, it's just becausematurity levels or seriousness
is just kind of on like the samewavelength at that point.
Speaker 2 (13:21):
I think too.
A lot of times what happens isis girls will date somebody in
like high school.
Let's say Right, and in highschool this guy was the cool guy
.
Maybe he's captain of thefootball team or he's in your
friend group or whatever, butthey aren't aware of like
outside of their circle becausethey're in high school and a lot
of times what happens is isgirls grow up and they're very
attractive and all of a sudden,like their kind of status is
(13:45):
like here because they'reattractive, and then the guy
they're dating now is like notthe cool kid anymore because
he's just like you know, he goesto college, he's not playing
football anymore yeah, he's justsome dude, yeah and then
there's people out there wherestatus in real life like once
high school and college is over,it's like usually success,
money or they're in the industryin some way and very high up
(14:06):
right, whereas at the beginningit's like status is like the
cool kid at school you know sowhat happens to a lot of girls
is I see them and they say, oh,I just felt like I outgrew my
boyfriend and I'm likewhat do you mean by outgrew?
And she's like I don't know,like they can't really explain
it, but that's what's kind ofhappening behind the scenes.
Speaker 1 (14:25):
Yeah, I think, like again, I think after you kind of
pass a certain point where,like, you're really starting to
focus on yourself and findingout, like wouldn't you?
And again that obviously justcomes like honestly, all of that
just really happens, like afteryou leave the school system,
like once you're actually out inlike real life.
Because even when you're incollege, you're still like on
(14:48):
the day-to-day, like the dailyroutine of like I'm going to
class, I'm gonna do homework.
You know it's still like school.
And so I feel like once youbreak out of that cycle and then
you actually start having tokind of do things for yourself,
that's when you really realizelike I guess people's like
actual intentions too, because,again, I think you also still
want to be with someone who'slike, who has serious goals,
(15:09):
like obviously in like along-term sense, and I feel like
, yeah, like obviously you canonly really see that once you
kind of leave the school system,see how people actually handle
real life versus just liketextbooks and papers and
whatever.
Because it says so much morewhen you actually see someone's
like capabilities versus justlike what grade they get or
whatever, because none of thatmatters at and whatever.
Because it says so much morewhen you actually see someone's
like capabilities versus justlike what grade they get or
whatever because none of thatmatters at the end anyways no, I
(15:31):
hot take.
Speaker 2 (15:32):
Uh well, the.
The moment I stopped living inschool was when I had a fat gym
teacher.
Speaker 1 (15:37):
I was just like this makes no sense I don't believe
anything y'all are sayinganymore, like you're telling me
to run a mile it's, maybe youshould like hit the, hit the, do
some pushups or something youknow.
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (15:49):
Well, what's, uh, what's your normal type?
Let's, let's go.
Speaker 1 (15:52):
looks first and then God, I don't even know.
I really don't know what mytype is Like.
Obviously, the guy I dated, hewas Asian.
Speaker 2 (16:00):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (16:01):
I'm Asian, Like my ex long-term like both Asian, and
I feel like even just growing up, I was kind of like, oh yeah,
only only asian guys.
You know, like whatever, ormaybe even like just like online
, just like not even like peoplein real life, but just like,
like on social media or whatever.
You see, like a white guy,because asian girls will never
be released from the shackles ofa white man.
But you know, I'll be like,okay, yeah, white man, like
(16:23):
they're too.
So it was always really justlike Asians and white men.
But then as I got older I thinkthis was even like during
college, maybe after college Iwas starting like I don't think
I like only Asians or only whiteguys, but I can't really say
what my type is either, though.
Because let's be honest, likeagain, I haven't like dated
(16:44):
anyone else, I see, because,let's be honest, like again I
haven't like dated anyone elseand so but yeah, you know, I
just, I like people does.
Speaker 2 (16:50):
That's such a generic answer I know well what about
height.
Does height matter to you?
Speaker 1 (16:55):
height somewhat.
I mean, I feel like, though,for me as someone I'm like five,
five, like five, four, five,five, which is a pretty average
girl height.
So like, I feel like majorityof the guys I meet naturally are
just taller than me.
Yeah, if I'm like 5'4", 5'5", Ifeel like some dude who's like
(17:16):
like 5'10", maybe 5'11" ortaller is pretty nice, it's
pretty ideal, I guess.
Speaker 2 (17:22):
Yeah, and height, yeah, the first fashion model I
dated was 5 11 oh yeah, so she'sthree inches shorter than me
but with heels it's like pretty,yeah, pretty on par and it was
actually funny.
So she said she always used todate like exclusively basketball
players, like nba players stufflike that and she said she got
fucked over so many times oneday she's like I don't care
(17:44):
about looks, height, all thisbullshit.
I just want personality yeah soshe's like zach.
Then I started dating this guywho's five eight, so with heels
she's like track towering overthe yeah right.
And she's like zach on thethird date.
She's like I had a coupleglasses of wine so I was like in
my feelings and she's like hecomes over, he opens the door
(18:06):
and she's like zach.
I gave him a hug, I picked himup and I spun him around short
king.
I watched his little legs flayand she was like in that moment
I lost all respect for him as ahuman.
She got the ick and I was likethat's your fault, but I
understand yeah.
I understand.
If I was a girl I would forsure want somebody taller than
(18:29):
me, just because I feel like itmakes a girl feel in her
feminine energy more.
Speaker 1 (18:34):
Yeah, I agree with that too.
I feel like just naturallyagain, it's probably all
scientific, it's all just my ownopinion but I feel like usually
, just height wise, I mean likeeven like when you see like
models out, for example, andthey're like 5'10", 5'11", like,
obviously there's like, I guess, a reason why, like the
requirements back in the daywere so strict on like 5'8 or
(18:57):
above Just because height, itjust like your presence becomes
so much more dominant becauseyou're like you're so tall, in
like a whole room of like peoplewho are maybe shorter than you,
like your presence is just somuch more visible to everyone.
And so it's like kind of apower dynamic.
And so I feel like, yeah, sosame with like how you said,
like femininity, masculinity, Ifeel like height it's kind of
(19:17):
like the same concept, it kindof plays into it like a dominant
thing.
Speaker 2 (19:26):
It is interesting because, like when I've dated
taller girls, my ego likes itbetter, like when I walk into a
room and everybody's like damnlike it, like pulls attention
yeah, but like I'm actually moreattracted to girls who are
shorter like what's your idealheight?
Speaker 1 (19:34):
because what you're?
Speaker 2 (19:35):
six, six two, six two probably around like probably
like five, six yeah but it's notthat big of a deal to be, yeah,
it's like, that's probably likeif I was like build a
girlfriend, fucking, I'd put allthe parts together yeah, yeah,
five, six yeah, somewhere aroundthere I mean, that's still a
pretty like also, I guess kindof a fairly average height for
(19:57):
women too yeah, yeah it's.
I don't have too many, too muchtrouble finding like girls in
that range, yeah, who are fivesix yeah yeah, what about uh?
Speaker 1 (20:04):
personality.
Oh yeah, I mean, personality iseverything but like what's?
Speaker 2 (20:08):
what kind of personality characteristics do
you look for?
Speaker 1 (20:11):
like obviously I want them to be respectful, care
about me, have goals in life,that's like the main thing.
I want you to have a goal inyour life, stick your ground,
just have like good intentions.
I mean again.
Just like don't be an asshole,treat service workers with
respect.
Speaker 2 (20:30):
Okay, I don't believe any girls who say this.
Girls always.
I like a guy who treats thewaiter well.
I'm like where are the guys whodon't treat waiters well?
I never have met a singleperson in my life that like
treats the waiter like shit.
Well, good, that's a good thing, do these people exist, like
girls always say I'm like, thisis the entire population.
Speaker 1 (20:50):
That's the thing.
Though a lot of it, I feel likepeople who don't treat wait
staff or just like serviceworkers.
Well, our people, it's like itgives like new money, energy,
you know but like, what do theydo to these service workers?
Speaker 2 (21:02):
like the waiter comes over, like just be, like a
karen or something I don't know.
Speaker 1 (21:06):
or if they're like on a date and they're trying to
like impress the girl, probablyjust like I don't know if
they're just so nervous, ifthey're giving like attitude
because they have like somefucked up personality like
fucking oh my god, what's itcalled?
Like an ego, like if they justhave a huge ego and if they're
like made of new money, they'relike oh yeah, I'm gonna like
spoil all this and like againyou treat service workers or
wait staff like they'reassistants but in like a
(21:28):
negative way, Like you don't saythank you and stuff like that
yeah stuff like that, like youknow, if you don't say thank you
and again, if you're just likestraight up disrespectful, it's
like you know, like I feel likethat's a big like either green
or red flag how they treatservice workers, like just how
(21:50):
you treat people in general.
Speaker 2 (21:51):
I need to meet some of these dudes, I want to yeah
luckily, I don't think luckily Ihaven't encountered anyone,
literally service workers likethat.
How many girls in the podcastwill say that?
Speaker 1 (21:53):
yeah, I like a guy who treats the service workers.
Speaker 2 (21:54):
I'm like that's everybody that's like the entire
population.
Like where are these?
Speaker 1 (21:58):
well, good thing they haven't met anyone who does
that, so that's good to hear, Iguess.
Speaker 2 (22:04):
What about?
It's interesting, you mentioneda guy who stands his ground.
So do you typically like guyswho are more masculine or more
like the?
Speaker 1 (22:14):
More like kind of feminine.
Yeah, like the pretty boys, Ithink more.
I think more masculine Becausein my should I bring it up yeah,
so in my last relationship thatI was with, I feel like a lot
of the times like he was a verygreat guy, so like no tino,
shade, but I feel like a lot ofthe times like I was more so the
(22:39):
one who was like in themasculine energy and so I feel
like I never really got thechance to just feel like like
feminine, pretty, like oh, likehead empty.
I'm just, you know, goingaround with my mans, like I feel
like I never really got to dothat and so I feel like, after
having left that relationship,that's kind of when I'm like,
yeah, I think I would prefer tobe more in my feminine energy
(23:01):
because I feel like just me,like independent, wise myself on
a day-to-day basis I can bevery much in like a more
masculine energy, but that'sbecause I think I'm just a Bay
Area girl.
We're just built different.
So what does?
Speaker 2 (23:14):
that mean, I feel like area girl.
Speaker 1 (23:16):
I don't know, like a lot of Bay Area girls I met were
all just like badass and cooland chill.
Speaker 2 (23:20):
I mean everyone in the.
Speaker 1 (23:21):
Bay Area just has like a chill vibe.
That's one thing I neverrealized until I've met people
out here, like when I came hereand I will tell them we would be
talking and they're like sowhere are you from?
And I say the bay area, andthey're like oh yeah, that makes
sense I'm like what does thatmean?
like I don't even I, so itwasn't me who said it, it was
other people who said it.
But like yeah, so I feel like,if I'm already in my masculine
(23:43):
energy, like majority of of thetime, it'd be nice to have to
like, not do that for once, beable to let my guard down a
little more and just, you know,be feminine be, a girly girl.
Speaker 2 (23:53):
It's interesting.
I think you have a a strongerself-awareness than a lot of
people, because what happens toa lot of girls and guys right
yeah.
Is society nowadays is isteaching all girls you have to
be boss, guys, right?
Yeah, Is society nowadays isteaching all girls you have to
be boss, bitch right?
Beyonce.
Every fucking TikTok video,like all movies, is like oh,
(24:15):
female empowerment right, whichI think is great.
Speaker 1 (24:18):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (24:18):
But at the same time it's like a lot of girls want
the boss bitch attitude, butthey don't want the boss bitch
responsibility.
They don't realize like bossbitch responsibility.
Speaker 1 (24:26):
They don't realize.
Like what do you mean?
Like responsibility, like?
Speaker 2 (24:29):
if you want to be a boss, that means work ethic.
It means you have to get a job.
It means you have to.
When it's 3 am and something inyour business is going wrong,
you're the one who fixes it.
You can't go.
Oh, supervisor, please, what doI do?
Help me with this.
It's like no, it rests, if youknow, like the fucking car
breaks down, like you.
You're getting out and fuckingfixing the tire.
(24:49):
You know what I mean.
And I also think that a lot ofgirls are naturally better in
the more feminine role, butthey've been like pushed that
they should be in the masculinerole, and now there's in this
middle ground where they're notreally dominant but they're
trying to be dominant.
So then guys who are reallydominant and want to take the
(25:11):
masculine role aren't reallycomfortable in relationships
because, they feel like they'rebutting heads yeah and then,
like the little simp guys, don'treally work because the girls
are naturally not taking reallythe masculine role.
And the simp guys watch threeandrew tate videos and they're
like I am the alpha.
Speaker 1 (25:28):
No, I'm like what are you the?
Speaker 2 (25:29):
alpha of the fucking wendy's like, are you?
Alpha the wendy's like get thefuck out of here, yeah no,
literally.
So now we're in this,relationships where gen z it's
like just nobody's doing shitand everybody's pretending like
they're the boss.
Speaker 1 (25:41):
But I think that's the problem with like, oh god,
it's gonna age me, but I swearlike it has a point but.
I feel like a lot of stuff insocial media has to do with it
because, again now, like the wayinformation is spread, like
through social media, it's justsuch a different platform and
way of engaging with content andengaging with like ideals and
ideas and like just differentmindsets.
(26:02):
And so I feel, how you said,for example, like the andrew
tate thing, it's like wordtravels so fast.
You watch a video and you'relike, oh, yeah, like, and you
see like comments from otherpeople who are like supporting
it, and you're like, oh, like,that should be me.
You know, like I, I agree withthat.
And so I feel like you have allthese videos talking about like
how to like do this, how to dothat, or how to like be this
(26:22):
person that you want to be, andthen people try and like they
just it's just trying too hard,you know.
And again, like you're watchinga video and again, like a lot of
like false information spreadsaround too, and so you're
watching a video, but you'retaking it at face value and
you're like, oh, but all thesepeople on social media, like
they said, it's true, they saidit worked for them, so it's got
to work for me.
(26:43):
And so you're taking all thesesteps without really
understanding what the fuck isactually going on.
And so, yeah, I mean like yeah,if you want to be like in your
feminine energy, if you want tofeel like a girly girl, that's
no problem.
But if, on some days, you wantto like, have such a more like,
a little more masculine leaningenergy, or you want to feel like
(27:03):
, like a boss ass bitch, you cando that too, but it doesn't
have to be on 24 7 you know likeit's okay to fall back every so
often and be like jk.
Speaker 2 (27:14):
I don't want that right now I think too, there
there's because, like on thewhole, like there's there's a
lot of hate, like on the guy'sside, toward toward like
feminism and girls, and some ofit is justified, I think, but
also a lot of it is just likethe men aren't taking the
masculine role, they're nottaking the lead, and so girls
(27:35):
are kind of forced into thatrole, yeah, and then the guys
get mad at them because they'relike, oh, I feel, emasculated.
They don't even really know whyyeah, yeah but it's like no,
because you have to man up andfucking take the role.
If you're not gonna take it,then somebody else is gonna take
it, because somebody has totake it.
Speaker 1 (27:48):
Yeah yeah, I mean, I think, like that's what I was
saying, like, especially goingback to talking about dating,
like that's why dating now isjust so complicated, because no
one knows what the fuck anyonewants.
And so, like that's when youjust start like butting heads,
like you have girls be like, oh,you don't like understand what
I mean.
And then guys are just likewell, I don't know what, like
(28:09):
the fuck, you want me to do?
Shit like that.
And there's no actual, likereal communication going on and
again, like no one's beingstraightforward, it's just like
a fucking world of questions andnothing's getting answered.
And then again, then you go tolike social media, you go to
tiktok, and you just like you'rescrolling through and you get
all this like like all thisfucking advice, advice or
whatever, and then you startrolling with it and then just
(28:29):
becomes more fucking complicatedbecause what they're saying is
not true, nothing makes fuckingsense.
Speaker 2 (28:33):
Like the things you see on tiktok aren't the
blueprint and it's just likeit's just random teens and young
adults in their bedroom withlike a fucking phone ring like
literally saying some shit andbeing like yeah, this is gonna
get some views you know, half ofit is just like they saw an
andrew tate video and they'relike oh, let me just say that
they're like they have no lifeexperience.
Speaker 1 (28:51):
They're like this shit's gonna fuck bro.
Like let me, let me.
Speaker 2 (28:53):
This gonna get the views or, like I used to at one
point, the algorithm keptfeeding me these like steve
harvey videos.
For some reason steve harvey,yeah, I don't know why and like
he was always giving this likerelationship advice.
I'm like dude's been divorcedlike two, three times.
I'm not listening to you foradvice.
Are you kidding me?
It's like kind of crazy.
Speaker 1 (29:10):
Yeah, yeah so I don't know, like with tiktok and
everything, I take everything atface value, like at this point,
all the like advice, likedating advice, whatever it's
given me at this point, it's alllike a fucking.
Take it like a grain of salt,because it's not like a
straightforward answer.
None of it makes sense I don'tknow, maybe I've just like given
up too.
But everything, I just takeeverything at face value now
(29:35):
I've been much more picky latelyin terms of intelligence of
what I look for like a girl andand not intelligence.
Speaker 2 (29:43):
Like you went to college, you read a bunch of
books yeah.
But like social intelligenceand someone who's just
interested in why people are theway they are yeah.
And just been like oh, thereason people act like this,
like psychology stuff, like that, is like so interesting to me,
empath, it's just You're anempath.
I don't know what I talked aboutin my 20s to girls.
(30:04):
I really am trying to rememberit because I'm like, what did I
talk about with half these girlsthat I like just wanted to hook
up with because I was in myvillain?
Speaker 1 (30:12):
yeah, yeah like what I talk about for four hours
while we're at fucking drinksit's just like, just like
waiting for the countdown, likewhen are we gonna get home?
No, that's what I'm saying.
Just how was your day?
Yeah, like how you feel thatdrink good, like you know.
You know, it's all justsuperficial questions.
Speaker 2 (30:26):
Very much.
Speaker 1 (30:27):
And it's like.
It's like, are you reallygetting to know someone or are
you just trying to not haveawkward silence?
Speaker 2 (30:32):
You know yeah.
Speaker 1 (30:33):
Like that's where it gets complicated Cause yeah.
Speaker 2 (30:36):
So what?
So you have a lot of standardsthat you look for in a guy,
right?
Speaker 1 (30:41):
And I think that's good.
Yeah, I think that's that'sthink that's good.
Speaker 2 (30:43):
Yeah, I think that's fair.
What do you bring to the tableto kind of match those standards
?
Speaker 1 (30:49):
I mean.
Speaker 2 (30:49):
Other than just being hot girl syndrome, you know.
Speaker 1 (30:51):
Hot girl syndrome.
Yeah, besides being undeniablyattractive, I also I don't know
I'm a great listener.
If you ever wanted to rantabout feelings or whatever I
feel like, you obviously can.
It doesn't matter how much weknow each other, how much we
don't.
If you just need someone to leanon and talk to you feel free,
uh, if you were to, I don't knowlike cook for me or whatever,
(31:16):
then I'll pay for theingredients.
You know like as something tokind of just like give back a
little and just, you know, justmake you feel appreciated or
respected.
And again, obviously, if youtreat me well, if you respect me
, I'll give you the same energyback pretty much.
If you give me energy, I'llgive you the same back.
(31:37):
Pretty much is what it is.
Speaker 2 (31:39):
Interesting yeah.
Speaker 1 (31:49):
What do you think about?
Does money play a role in termsof your level of attraction to
a guy, or success, ambition,that kind of thing?
I mean yeah, I'd say more soambition than money.
Like, obviously, because I'mone to talk, because if I'm here
in a creative field, lord knowsI am not making the most money,
so I would have some audacityto necessarily say that they
need a lot of money.
Speaker 2 (32:06):
I don't know if I agree with that.
Speaker 1 (32:08):
I mean yeah Well, I mean obviously like it'd be nice
if they had money, you know,but at the same time, like
obviously you know, don't bedirt poor, you know.
But, like you know, don't beliving in your car.
But, obviously like if you'renot like the richest person but
you are making money.
I can see you're working hard,you're out there actually trying
(32:30):
to achieve your goals.
And again, maybe I'm speakingfor people who work in the
creative industry, becauseobviously I do too, and just
most of the people again that Ihave met do work in that same
field.
Just because I'm not on datingapps, I just meet people through
gigs and like work and stuff.
Yeah, just organically for now.
And so obviously, obviously Ialready know it's like a tough
creative field and so obviously,if I can see you're like trying
your hardest, then I'm justlike, yeah, you know you still
(32:52):
have ambition, you have goals inmind and like the money may not
be now, but it's gonna come.
You know so.
And again, why you don'tbelieve me now?
Speaker 2 (33:03):
I think if you're dating a guy under the age of,
let's say, 25, I think that'sfair.
Speaker 1 (33:10):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (33:10):
Girls do fall often into the ambition trap, where
it's.
Speaker 1 (33:15):
And that could be my case, yeah.
Speaker 2 (33:17):
I have a Bitcoin app.
I'm totally about to getinvestors.
My cannabis company is about toblow up.
Speaker 1 (33:24):
Oh God, I don't even want to talk about crypto.
Speaker 2 (33:26):
And at some point it's like okay, if you're like
30 and you still haven't hadsomething become successful.
The chance of you becomingsuccessful is pretty low.
Speaker 1 (33:36):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (33:36):
And like what happened to the last 10 years.
Why aren't you?
Speaker 1 (33:39):
already making it.
And again, maybe I'm sayingthat now because I am still a
struggling creative, but I'malso only 23.
And so maybe, who knows, maybeI'll get my big break at some
point.
Speaker 2 (33:49):
But I don't think it's, and maybe this is the old
school side of me coming out.
I don't think it's aresponsibility to necessarily
have to be the the one bringingin the money for the
relationship.
Speaker 1 (33:59):
And I'm not mad at that.
I have, I wouldn't complainabout that, you know.
Speaker 2 (34:03):
I just think it's like every like people have
different roles, like, uh, Iremember I used to think, oh, I
want an entrepreneur yeah, girlfrom it's like I'm an
entrepreneur, so I want my girlto be an entrepreneur too, and
I've dated a coupleentrepreneurs and it never works
because it's like we're bothproviding the same thing in the
relationship and nobody'sproviding the other side, and
it's just like I don't reallyneed like more money, like yeah
(34:25):
okay, I got, I'm good with thataspect of it.
Speaker 1 (34:28):
Yeah, I'd rather have someone who's just very
feminine and like, very likeyeah caring and supportive and
like all these other things Imean, that's probably just
because you guys have like thesame personality and I again,
like I'm not necessarily anentrepreneur, but I can only
imagine if it's just constantlylike work, work, work, you know,
and you guys are just kind ofgoing on the same path, there's
never really a moment where oneof you can really just lean back
(34:49):
and just take it all in, youknow, because obviously and
again like could be differentcases for everyone.
But if again you both are kindof pursuing the same thing,
especially like entrepreneurship, I can only imagine that it's
probably exhausting.
And then again, if you guys aredoing like the same thing, it's
kind of like where is likethere's no way to really balance
each other out?
You know, because, for example,with my ex, like obviously I'm
(35:11):
a creative, but he had like astable job, like a normal job,
stable job, and so obviously itwasn't even just necessarily a
money thing, but at least insome ways we were able to just
balance each other out.
You know, there was some levelof stability there for me, yeah,
and so I feel like obviouslywith that then I was able to
(35:33):
kind of not necessarily take astep back, but just be like oh,
like yes, this could work out,like you know, like it kind of
fits together like a puzzlepiece.
Speaker 2 (35:38):
You have like a level of calm that you don't have to
be stressed about.
Am I going to get another gig?
Speaker 1 (35:46):
yeah, it's just like kind of like stable, yeah, and I
mean not necessarily again likeit's not like like we weren't
married, you know, and, ofcourse, like we're still, like
we were still very young, and soit's not like we were out here
in means of like, oh, he's goingto be providing for me and like
our future like it wasn't likeat that level or anything, but
still even just the stability oflike if I'm like home all the
time but he's out there likedoing his nine to five or
(36:08):
whatever you know, and then likecoming back home we can make
dinner.
There was still like a levelagain.
Like that level stabilitybecause it's not like if I'm out
there doing a gig, he's outthere doing a gig when the fuck
we're gonna see each other.
Because, like work in thecreative field, it's easily like
12 hour days.
You know, when I'm like, youknow just being on film sets or
just any doing any of thecreative work in general, it's
like long hours and so I feellike if we were both doing that,
(36:30):
it's like I'm not even.
I'm never gonna fucking see youlike ever again you know, or
just like actively hustling andagain like it's not like
everyone's case, but at least Ithink for me personally as
someone whose life at least likecareer-wise was so it was nice
to have someone be the completeopposite of that, where there
was more stability.
Speaker 2 (36:50):
So what happened to that relationship?
Speaker 1 (36:57):
I don't want to like say I don't know, I don't know
if he's going to watch this.
Speaker 2 (37:02):
You don't have to, it's up to you.
Yeah, if you don't?
Speaker 1 (37:04):
want to talk about it .
Yeah, no, I don't want to sayit public out loud, but anyways,
yeah, just like somethinghappened, I found something out
and then obviously that was whattriggered me to actually like
break up with him, I see, andthen I think again, like all the
stuff I've said even beforethis, it's like there that
incident was like the, theturning point where I was like
(37:27):
fuck this, like you know, we'rebreaking up, whatever yeah but I
think obviously then lookingback at it, it's not like it was
bad, like it was very much moregood than bad in the
relationship.
But I think again, like howwe're talking about like like
the masculine versus likefeminine energies, like how in
some cases I never like had tobe more feminine, and just like
other like dynamics in ourrelationship, it was kind of
like I think this is probablyjust for the like, this is for
(37:50):
the best for us right now andagain, like, obviously, if it's
meant to be, then we'll findeach other again at some point,
but for now I think it'sprobably best that we just take
our own paths as, like youngadults turning into adults you
know, so yeah.
Speaker 2 (38:06):
I think it's very healthy to go through a villain
era at some point in your life.
Speaker 1 (38:09):
I think you figure out what you want.
Speaker 2 (38:10):
You figure out what you don't want.
That part, that is true.
You discover yourself, yeah.
Speaker 1 (38:14):
I agree with that.
I mean, I feel like I'vediscovered a lot more about
myself ever since we've endedthings.
And again like I feel like, ifI God forbid.
If again, like I feel like if Igod forbid if I had to like end
the long-term relationship, atleast, was.
Now, at this age where i'm-still like 23 I'm still young.
Speaker 2 (38:30):
Yeah, I'm not here in la and, like you said, like
let's say, you go out on thedating scene, you figure out
what you want and you're like,yeah, actually that was the best
relationship for me.
Speaker 1 (38:37):
You can always go back.
Yeah, it could always.
Speaker 2 (38:39):
Or maybe you find out , hey, this actually isn't the
right fit.
And then I can find somethingelse.
Speaker 1 (38:43):
Yeah, and again because, like, when we got
together, we were so young andso obviously it's just like all
you ever really knew.
And so again, now that we'reboth just out here, who knows,
maybe both of us will findsomething that just ends up
working better for us and likeit is what it is.
And yeah because, again, likewhen we got together, we were
super young, you don't reallyknow what you want, but we had
(39:03):
kind of just I mean, we did likestick together, so it was very
serious yeah, yeah, but thenagain, like now I'm 23 and plus,
like we were only dating, likegod forbid.
I've had friends who I've beenlike engaged or like married,
and then they've either gonethrough, like you know, they
break the engagement or, likethey do, they straight up
divorce and it's like okay, well, at least I wasn't at that
(39:24):
stage yet where you know thathad to fucking, I had to deal
with all that.
Speaker 2 (39:27):
But you know, just a breakup, especially if there's
like kids and shit.
Yeah, yeah, are you, are you?
What do you think aboutmarriage, kids, that whole thing
?
Do you think eventually that'sgoing to be a path, or do you
think?
Speaker 1 (39:36):
I mean the marriage, probably, yeah, in terms of kids
, like I, at least for now, likeat my age, I've never, ever
really felt like I wanted kidsand like, yeah, I don't know.
I've just never had like themoment where at some point, like
(39:56):
every girl's like, oh my god,look at that baby is so cute,
like I want one, so bad I'venever had that yeah I was like
like the minute that shit openshis mouth, I'm like oh, jk, like
.
But even in general I've neverlooked at a baby and was like I
can't wait for one of my own,like I've never had that phase
happen to me and so, yeah, Imean at the moment I don't want
kids, like, god forbid, if Isomehow got pregnant I'm gonna
(40:19):
rip that shit out I don't wantit.
I don't want it right now, sobut who knows if, in the future,
if I'm gonna want one, but fornow, at my 23 years of living, I
have never wanted a child.
Speaker 2 (40:30):
I'm very skeptical of marriage and kids, because so
I'm from Wisconsin yeah.
Wisconsin.
It's like whoever you're datingwhen you finish high school or
you finish college, you justmarry them.
You have two to three kids yeahyou work at the same factory
your dad worked at for 40 yearsand you hope to God there's some
social security left, likethat's your life for, like most
Wisconsin people, and last timeI went back and like visited you
(40:54):
know I'm talking to my friendsA lot of them are married, Most
of them are married, and they'relike you know, Zach, when are
you going to get married?
You're missing out, You'regoing to miss the boat, blah,
blah, blah.
And then later in theconversation I'm like what's
your like perfect day?
What's your ideal day?
And like one guy's like yeah,and all their stories were kind
of like this.
It's like yeah, you know, mywife's mom takes the kids, my
(41:16):
wife hangs out with hergirlfriends, I have the boys
over, we play poker, watch thegame, have some beers, and I'm
like that's your best day.
Speaker 1 (41:24):
I can do that every day of my life and that's like
your greatest existence.
Speaker 2 (41:28):
That just sounds like a day to me.
So that's why I'm likeskeptical when people are and I
get it.
Kids are probably rewarding andthings like that.
I wouldn't doubt that maybethere will become a point in my
life where I'm like, okay, it'stime.
But I'm also like when peoplesay, oh yeah.
When I look into my son's eyesin the morning I'm like it just
sounds fake to me it sounds likethey're saying words that, like
(41:50):
they're supposed to say, likewas that like a?
Speaker 1 (41:52):
movie script, or something.
Speaker 2 (41:53):
Literally it feels like it's a movie script.
Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (41:58):
I've never.
That's the thing I've seen.
There was actually just thisone TikTok that popped up not
too long ago and it was likeprobably like a family tiktok or
whatever, like the mom, and itwas just like welcome to like a
day in our life.
You know what we do, and it'slike the husband, wife and I
think they have like three, foursons, like two of them are more
like like like kids, like maybelike 10, 11 or something yeah
(42:20):
and then the other two are likea bit younger, like probably
like younger children, yeah.
And then it was like and themom's like so I wake up at 7 am,
you know, I make breakfast forall of them, and then they wake
up at 8 am and then they go tohockey prep.
My husband takes them to hockeypractice.
Then at 9 am I go wake up myyounger sons wake them up.
Then I put in the laundry, thenI was and I was like girl, your
(42:40):
day is like sounds like it's 48hours long I was like, oh my,
oh, my God, like it was crazy.
She's like then at like 10 PM,you know, go to the gym.
I was like you have time fornothing else.
And again, maybe that was justlike a very filled day, like
I've had to take their kids tohockey or whatever, but like
every time I see TikToks, likethat of like you know what we do
(43:07):
as like a family in a day, muchtime, like who has that much
commitment, who has that muchenergy yeah, because let alone
like already 10 am, wake up yourkids.
I would be tired by then.
Oh, you're a late riser.
Yeah, like, well, I mean, Iwake up around like.
Yeah, I wake up around 10 okay,but it's like, imagine if every
day it's like this crazyschedule of like waking the kids
, or like if, like two sets ofkids essentially one of them
goes to hockey, then the othersare just still at home you have
to do stuff with them later.
She's like, you know, I tellthem like we'll go watch a movie
(43:27):
, then I'll go pour the snacks,and after that we all go on like
a family walk, and then we comehome and I'm just like, like,
again.
Like if that's what you want inyour life, you know that kind
of like family stuff, go for it.
It's good.
But again that day I'm likeyour days are 48 hours long.
When do you have enough timefor?
Like you and yourself, you know.
And again, like you have themindset like if your kids are
(43:49):
your whole world and like youwant to treat them.
God, like, by all means.
It looked like a great day likeif I were those kids, I'd
probably be having a fantastictime, but like as like the mom
or the parent, that shit looksdraining that looked draining.
Oh my god, again like 48 hourdays gotta be selfish at some
point that's what.
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
Speaker 2 (44:07):
I'm still on that, that mindset I'm like, I'm ready
to be selfish no same.
Speaker 1 (44:10):
I was like, let me, let me treat myself a little bit
longer, let me indulge in my,in what I want how was the uh?
Speaker 2 (44:18):
have you experienced at all the sugar daddy scene?
Have you got any proposals?
Have you have friends who havedone it?
Have you you done it?
Speaker 1 (44:25):
I have not actually.
I don't think I know anyone whodoes it.
Well, I guess he's notnecessarily a sugar daddy, but
he is just this dude I had metat this one mixer event.
I don't know if it was really abusiness event or what.
(44:46):
But then every so oftenrandomly'll just like text me or
dm me about like events thathe's going to.
Because he goes to like thesehigh profile events, like if
it's like movie premieres orlike big business mixers, like
just high profile places andevents.
And then, like there was onepoint, I was like I had just
posted on my instagram storylike a picture of like food or
(45:06):
whatever, and then he wasbasically just the energy of
like, ooh, like, would I takeyou to this place or this place?
And it was like higher end likeplaces versus where I was
eating and I was like, well,that is giving sugar daddy
energy, kind of, but that's asfar as it went.
I've never never, done anything.
Speaker 2 (45:24):
It's interesting you say that yeah.
Speaker 1 (45:25):
So I've never, never done anything.
Speaker 2 (45:26):
It's interesting you say that, yeah, so so I got
accused of being a sugar daddyone time.
Speaker 1 (45:28):
I've never done the sugar daddy, oh, but you got
accused.
Speaker 2 (45:31):
So I grew up very chivalrous my dad's very old
school.
Speaker 1 (45:34):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (45:34):
Take a girl on a date You're paying for it yeah, you
know walking on the sidewalk.
It's like I'm walking on likethe roadside.
Yeah, stop the girl, you know,protect my girl.
Yeah, like um in twilight, intwilight.
Yeah, just unless it's like ag-wagon, then it's like use the
girl as a human shield, protectmyself for the g-wagon yeah and
then you know, rescue with cpr.
Not all heroes wear capes.
Speaker 1 (45:54):
You know, yeah, but yeah, you still.
Yeah, save yourself first.
Yeah, like the airplane, putthe oxygen.
Yeah, airplane, like on youbefore the child yeah, very
heroic, yeah, I agree.
Speaker 2 (46:01):
So when I travel, right, and I like to travel a
lot, so if I take the girl toeurope, australia, asia,
whatever, like I'm paying forthe trip, like like I would feel
weird.
Like, hey, babe, did you getthe venmo request for the 87 for
?
The airbnb like it would feelweird to me to do that.
Speaker 1 (46:21):
I would feel like less of a man kind of you know I
mean like obviously, especiallyif you're the one who was, like
, initiating yeah, yeah, whichusually I am yeah yeah.
Speaker 2 (46:30):
So one of my friends is like she's like the queen of
the sugar or sugar babies.
She's like has like all theinfinity stones of like this guy
buys an entrepreneur, femaleentrepreneur she needs like a
secretary to manage.
Yeah, literally, yeah, and infront of all my friends.
She's like zach.
You know you're a sugar daddyand I'm like what do you mean?
And she's like zach.
(46:50):
Every guy pays for girls insome way.
Maybe it's drinks, maybe it'sdinner maybe it's trips, bags,
whatever she's like.
All y'all are sugar daddies.
You're just either high classsugar daddies or low class yeah
and I was like I didn't havelike a good comeback at the time
.
I was like you're kind of right, she kind of cooked there, she
(47:11):
kind of cooked, and I didn'tthink of my response to like
later in the shower you know,you think of the argument, and
so I was mad because she kind ofoutsmarted me at the time, you
know.
But to me it's more about likeintent.
It's like okay, if I'm taking agirl on a trip, it's a girl
that I'm already dating, we'realready vibing.
It's not like oh, please, likeme, I'll take you on this trip
(47:33):
if you like me yeah, yeah, yeah,different intention, different
intention and like I think girlsshould care about money to some
extent in a relationship,because it's like you want to
fly middle seat on spirit therest of your life.
Speaker 1 (47:45):
It's like you want to look at your plane tickets like
seat 73 f and you're like well,I mean, that's what I'm saying.
If girls want to find aprovider, find a provider.
Yeah, you know, I feel likeit's just one of the aspects
like again, like the wholefeminine energy thing, like you
just want to feel treated like aprincess, you want to feel
pretty and then, obviously,especially in this day and age
and at here in LA, that justscreams like money because
(48:07):
everything's so fuckingexpensive nowadays.
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (48:10):
I got to argue with my mom the other day because
she's like you know, zach,you're in LA, you're always
dating like models and actresses, like you should date a nice
girl from church with a goodpersonality.
And I remember thinking and Iwas like all right, mom, so do
you want me to date uglier girls?
She's like no, not ugly, justlike focus on personality.
Speaker 1 (48:31):
It's like the girl, the girl next door.
You know you never see hercoming.
Speaker 2 (48:34):
Yeah, and I'm like okay, mom, does there exist
beautiful girls with goodpersonalities?
Oh well, of course.
Okay, so if I have the choicebetween like a beautiful girl
with a good personality or likean ugly girl with a good
personality, like of course I'mgoing to choose the beautiful
girl who also has a goodpersonality.
And I think for girls it's like, yeah, like if you have like a
rich guy with a greatpersonality or like a broke dude
(48:55):
with a great personality, yeahit's like, yeah, of course
you're going to choose the moresuccessful guy yeah it's just
two plus two equals four.
It's like, almost like it's likestatistics you know, it's just,
it's like a checklist, yeahit's like pemdos, you know, it's
a checklist yeah, yeah ofeverything, yeah of everything.
How?
How have you found uh makingfriends in la?
What's your circle like?
(49:16):
Do you have like a best friend?
Speaker 1 (49:18):
well, so my closest, closest friends are all from
back home, I see, um, obviously,but then out here pretty much
all the friends I have made.
Actually, like, I still talk toa lot of my girls who I met in
college, because in general so,in college I was a dance major
okay and so in general, thatthat class, that circle was very
, very small.
There was only like so many ofus like probably only like 30 of
(49:42):
us total.
So, obviously, like with thatlevel of intimacy in classes you
get to you you just naturallymake friends with the people
that you're taking these classeswith.
And so, yeah, some of my greatfriends who I've seen often yeah
, they were like from collegebasically, I see, and then in
terms, I mean there's also stillpeople I talk to that again
(50:03):
like I've met organically, likeon sets and like gigs and things
like that.
Um, because I mean, naturally,every time I've been on sets,
after you start talking tosomeone, it's like what's your
Instagram?
yeah, and so you just likeexchange Instagrams, then if you
all clicked to some degree, youwould just, you know, like,
like, give them like if theypost a cute Instagram story, you
like hype them up.
You know shit like that.
But I'd say, yeah, closestfriends are from home, close
(50:25):
friends from college, and thenobviously I've had, like I've
met great people on sets,honestly, like, no doubt, no
doubt do you party a lot yeah,okay, yeah, kind of every so
often.
Well, again, that's how we havethe mutual yeah, our mutual
instagram followers.
Yeah, yeah, it's from that scenewe only have a couple.
Speaker 2 (50:44):
Normally, when I meet a girl, it's like we have like
20 and I'm like that's a redlike jesus christ like whenever
people have too many mutualswith me, I'm like, just because
I was in the scene so long, yeah, doing fuck boy shit, that I'm
like if we have a lot of mutualstogether because, because I was
being a fuck boy, I was likethat's a red flag you definitely
have been around the scene alittle bit.
Oh god yeah funny, but it'swhat it is.
Speaker 1 (51:05):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (51:05):
All right, we're about out of time.
I got some rapid fire questionsfor you.
Speaker 1 (51:09):
Okay, throw them at me.
Speaker 2 (51:11):
Favorite food.
Speaker 1 (51:13):
Favorite food.
It always switches betweenKorean barbecue, sushi or pasta.
Speaker 2 (51:18):
Interesting.
Yeah, have you been to Gayukaku?
It's actually Japanese barbecue.
Speaker 1 (51:23):
I've heard of it.
Yeah, I don't think.
I don't think I've ever been tothat one, though, but I've been
to Japanese barbecue before.
Just actually recently went toJapan not too long ago.
Speaker 2 (51:31):
Oh, nice A month ago.
Speaker 1 (51:32):
It's very nice there.
I bet it's very nice yeah.
Speaker 2 (51:34):
Korean barbecue is always like when I'm with the
boys, because we all eat a lot.
Speaker 1 (51:41):
Yeah, you need a big group of people.
Yeah favorite candy candy couldI say ice cream, or is that
more dessert?
No, that works yeah I'm icecream I like mint, chocolate
chip ice cream.
Speaker 2 (51:53):
I know that's somewhat controversial it is
very good, but I do like mintchocolate ice cream anymore you
know it's okay.
Speaker 1 (51:58):
Well, it was nice knowing you while it lasted uh
favorite first date spot oractivity.
Hmm, fuck, is it cliche to sayprobably the fucking bar or a
club.
Speaker 2 (52:10):
I think drinks is one of my favorite things.
That's what I'm saying.
It's just the easiest, itloosens you up.
That's what I'm saying.
You can actually talk to get toknow each other.
Not like a movie where you'relike sitting there.
Speaker 1 (52:19):
And then also you have the drinks in you, so you
don't feel as nervous feel asnervous yeah, you know you kind
of have something to do, yeahit's not as like interview style
, as like dinner.
Speaker 2 (52:30):
Yeah, whenever it's, uh, whenever you like a movie,
I'm just like you sit there forlike three hours you don't get
to talk to each other you justget out like well, what did you
think?
Speaker 1 (52:37):
like it's the fuck, it's like so fucking late, plus
I feel like the whole point ofthe date is, if you want to ask
each other questions or get toknow each other, yeah, a movie.
You can't do that unless you'relike gonna go watch movie and
then like go to a dinner orsomething.
Then you can like at least talkabout the movie in case you
have nothing else to talk aboutyeah, so maybe that helps but if
it's just the movie, that'stough that is tough.
Speaker 2 (52:56):
That is tough, uh.
Next travel destination youhaven't been to, that you want
to go to?
I've never been to europe.
Speaker 1 (53:01):
Really never been to europe, yeah, any of the never
been to any Really Never been toEurope.
Yeah, Any of the never been toany Europe, European countries.
Speaker 2 (53:07):
Italy and Greece are the best.
Yeah, I'm assuming you have, orlike Eastern Europe is really
fun too.
Eastern Okay, I've been a fewtimes yeah.
Speaker 1 (53:14):
I've had a friend who went recently.
My mom's actually going in likea couple months.
So I think, overrated, I thinkthat's pretty fair.
Manchester, london, they're fun.
A little overrated, but yeah,like south.
Okay, I'll keep that in mindfor when I do go eventually.
Yeah, yeah, which will happen,it's not yet all right.
Speaker 2 (53:34):
Well, this has been fun.
Uh, what's your?
Where can people find you?
Any instagram shout out,anything like that uh, yeah, uh.
Speaker 1 (53:40):
My instagram handle is oh fuck, it's
t-v-l-e-r-l-a-v-v.
It's my name, but my normalname was fucking taken, so I had
to replace the y and tyler withthe v and then the w in law
with two v's.
You're very creative I know Iwas kind of proud of myself,
though, when I created that one,and it wasn't taken I was
(54:01):
pretty fucking proud of myself.
I I think my TikTok is the samehandle, except I use Instagram
more than TikTok.
Speaker 2 (54:08):
So yeah, All right.
Well, this has been fun.
We'll have to do round twosometime.
Speaker 1 (54:12):
I'm down, yeah no-transcript.
It's hard to read people.
I feel like guys are also justreally hard to read, Like your
intentions just never very clear.
We just have so many moreemotions.
We just feel more.
We have a lot more like thingswe easily get attached to
because that's just how we'relike built.
Respect me as a like a person,and so I feel like, once you hit
(00:20):
a certain age where justeverything becomes more real.
But then as I got older I thinkthis was even like during
college.
Maybe after college I wasstarting to like I don't think I
like only Asian.
Speaker 2 (00:33):
If I was a girl, I would for sure want somebody
taller than me.
I feel like it makes a girlfeel in her feminine Personality
is everything.
Speaker 1 (00:42):
Don't be an asshole.
Speaker 2 (00:44):
Treat service workers with respect girls always I
like a guy who treats the waiterwell.
I'm like where are the guys whodon't treat waiter as well?
I never have met a singleperson in my life that like
treats the waiter like shitafter having left that
relationship.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
That's kind of when I'm like, yeah, I think I would
prefer to be more in my 70s.
Speaker 2 (01:08):
Welcome to Unattainable.
Glad to have you with us.
I'm your host, Zach Evans, andfirst of all, thank you to all
of our listeners.
We've been getting a ton ofgrowth over the last couple of
weeks and we got to thank youguys for that.
Today we've got a special gueston the show.
This is Tyler.
Tyler, go ahead, Introduceyourself to the audience, Name
what you do and your star sign.
Speaker 1 (01:26):
Okay, so my name is Tyler, I'm a dancer, model
actress, I work in film and I'ma Virgo, so I'm a strong
perfectionist when it comes toliterally everything.
It's a blessing and a curse.
Speaker 2 (01:41):
I've dated a few Virgos.
You guys are very fun.
Speaker 1 (01:44):
I agree, and very bad for my mental health.
Yeah, I agree with that too.
Speaker 2 (01:48):
I think toxic would be the word that comes to mind.
Speaker 1 (01:51):
See, I think that's the problem, though it's just so
Because we're just suchperfectionists and we're so
peculiar in how things go.
I feel like that also justmanifests into relationship when
something doesn't happen theway you expect it to.
Speaker 2 (02:09):
Your brain just like goes fucking haywire.
Speaker 1 (02:10):
Are we allowed to curse on this, or yeah, yeah, go
, okay.
T I wasn't sure, so I didn'twant to have to make you do that
over again.
But yeah, so I think just theperfect over perfectionist
mindset is a killer I see, I seeand do you?
Speaker 2 (02:21):
do you end up in toxic relationships a lot, or
have you?
Have you experienced the LAtoxic situation?
Speaker 1 (02:28):
So it's actually funny we are talking about
relationships now, cause Iactually two, two and a half
months ago, got out of along-term relationship.
We had been together for likesix, six and a half years, damn.
And then I was like I'm 23 andso I'm still pretty fucking
young and we had been datingsince we were like what, 16, 17,
(02:51):
and so since the breakup isvery recent, this is my first
time just actually like fuckingdating interesting.
Speaker 2 (02:58):
Are you enjoying it, or is it uh scary?
Speaker 1 (03:03):
it's confusing, it's it's new because, again, I've
never like had to do any of thisas an adult because I was like
again, it was like high schoolyeah, it was like from high
school, like through college andthen like into our, like our
adult lives and so again likelike long-term serious
relationship, and so once thathappened I was like.
I was like I don't know how theI don't know what the fuck the
(03:24):
dating scene is.
Speaker 2 (03:25):
Like.
Speaker 1 (03:25):
I know nothing about dating period.
Speaker 2 (03:29):
Yeah, I will teach you all the ways.
Speaker 1 (03:31):
Yeah, so if any of the viewers or listeners have
advice for me?
That'd be great.
Speaker 2 (03:37):
Are you, uh, currently, do you go out meet
people?
Are you on the apps or anything?
Um, well, I'm not on the apps,but people have stay away stay.
Speaker 1 (03:47):
Yeah, I, I feel like I should.
I feel like if I were todownload them.
It's almost like a game youknow, it's just a game.
But the people that I have metor I guess I'm even like talking
to, if you can say I've justmet them through like gigs and
like.
Obviously we have like eachother's instagram, so that's how
I guess I have met my potentialsuitors.
Speaker 2 (04:08):
But are you 40?
Are your suitors courting?
Speaker 1 (04:13):
you.
They're courting me.
Oh god, no, but yeah.
So it's just been a.
It's just been a fuckingwhirlwind I see ever since.
Yeah.
So if you have any advice ondating life, especially here in
la, because I'm probably goingto be here for a hot minute- so
LA, la is.
Speaker 2 (04:29):
it's like playing the video game on a hard mode.
There's there's narcissists,there's fuckboys, there's nice
guys, there's sugar daddy scene,only fans people.
It's very like you have to likeread people.
Like you have to like readpeople.
(04:49):
Yeah, um, it's, it's.
Do you?
Do you typically go for morelike the nice sweet guys or more
of like the, the guys with alittle bit of edge?
Speaker 1 (04:56):
see, I'd probably have to say right now more so
guys with like an edge to them.
But maybe that's also justbecause I'm in my villain era
right now, after all that'shappened.
I mean, I feel like if you canbe like nice and sweet but also
still have a little bit ofedginess to you in some way.
But again, like you said, it'shard to read people because it's
(05:18):
like it's just complicated.
I feel like guys are also justreally hard to read or like your
intentions just never veryclear, because no one's like
adult anymore, like it's alljust a game.
They're never really likestraightforward with you most of
the times, and so you're herelike stuck thinking oh, this
(05:39):
guy's like super great formonths or whatever, and then,
suddenly something happens andit just like flips, like they
don't talk to you anymore.
It just like flips, like theydon't talk to you anymore.
They ghost you, they don'tcommunicate anything and then
like at least like in a woman'sperspective you're just left
like heartbroken and confused.
Speaker 2 (05:54):
so well, this new breed of dudes is built
different yeah, that's, true, soI.
I grew up like the nice guy,right yeah very like religious
parents yeah and sweet and gotfriend zoned like a thousand
times yeah and then I was likefuck this.
And then I turned into thebiggest fuck boy, sociopath,
narcissist, did that route forlike eight years and then I kind
(06:14):
of graduated from that and I'mkind of like I can see the whole
picture and like back in theday like I was a professional
fuck boy.
Okay, a professional, not likethese amateur Gen Z fuck boys
nowadays, yeah, yeah.
The bird scooters and thefucking like like y'all date
guys that have a bed thattouches like two walls.
Speaker 1 (06:33):
Don't even get me started with that.
Do not know what a nightstandis.
Don't even get me started withthat.
Speaker 2 (06:37):
Like stop dating these losers.
Speaker 1 (06:39):
Oh, my God.
Speaker 2 (06:40):
Yeah, my friend is dating this guy.
She showed me the picture andit's like a shirtless selfie
that he took at la fitness.
It's like, first of all, becomea real fuck boy and take your,
your pictures at equinox.
When you take, show us I wasjust about to say equinox and
not equinox fucking culver cityI'm talking west hollywood,
(07:00):
maybe beverly hills, if you'reover age of 40 or in a pinch and
then post them on Raya and notHinge.
Speaker 1 (07:07):
Raya.
Speaker 2 (07:08):
It's like but but these guys, nowadays it's just a
different, it's a differentvibe.
But the thing I've alwayswondered like I would tell girls
, cause I was straight up withgirls, even though I was a fuck
boy, I was like an honest fuckboy I would say I don't want a
relationship, I don't wantanything exclusive.
Speaker 1 (07:22):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (07:23):
And it's like they wouldn't believe me.
But I was being very likeforward with them.
So I'm like do girls kind ofknow in the back of their mind
or not, is it like?
Speaker 1 (07:30):
Like as in they thought you were like you were
just lying about being casual,that you wanted to actually be
serious.
Speaker 2 (07:36):
Yeah, or they thought Like I've had multiple girls
say like yeah, you need to likego to therapy so you can express
your feelings more, and I'mlike no, I just don't want a
relationship.
It's not that like I have thesedeep down feelings that I had
for you and then I just couldn'tget over them because I didn't
go to therapy.
Speaker 1 (07:55):
It was just like yeah .
Speaker 2 (07:56):
Or maybe they thought they could change me, or
something like that.
I'm not sure.
Speaker 1 (07:59):
Well, I feel like it depends on like what level the
girl's at, because at least forme, for example, obviously
having just got out of like along-term serious relationship,
I'm obviously not looking foranything like serious or like
super committal at the moment.
And so even if, like a guy wereto come up to me and be like hey
, like it's just, I'm notlooking for anything, it's just
(08:21):
casual, we're just gonna likehang out, whatever, I'm
personally cool with thatbecause I think that's just the
stage of my life that I'm in.
But I feel like for most of thegirls and also we just we just
have so many more emotions, wejust feel more, we have a lot
more like things we easily getattached to because that's just
how we're like built, and so Ifeel like obviously, if girls
(08:44):
are out in the dating scene,they're probably looking for
something more on like theserious side, and again too,
with things that become verycasual, like you don't have to
be dating necessarily or havelike a label or be exclusive to
still feel like you're beingtreated like a human being.
Cause there have been someinstances for me where like even
though like it's like you cankeep it casual, but at least
(09:07):
still like be nice to me, we cantalk, we can still be like
intimate in some ways aboutthings, but then in other cases,
like you, quite literally, I'mjust like a booty call and then
you don't like really talk to meafter that and I feel like
there's like a difference you'relike I want to respect
respectable yeah at least justlike, respect me as
Speaker 2 (09:26):
a like, a person like I'm just want you don't want
just come over sex, get out ofmy house, you want like okay, at
least we like hang out, we havesome kind of connection, yeah
exactly, exactly.
Speaker 1 (09:35):
And so I feel like, especially with the term casual,
because, again, if both thesethings are very much casual, but
like they're just handled insuch different ways, and I feel
like again, like I again maybeI'm at a different stage in my
life now where I'm not, since Ialready know I'm not expecting
anything like incredible, likeI'm not really caught up on any
(09:56):
of this, but again like, let'ssay, if it's already been like
months or like years since mybreakup and I was looking for
something a little more serious,then, yeah, that behavior would
like fucking suck.
Speaker 2 (10:07):
Yeah, you're very interesting because you come off
like you're 31, 32, somethinglike that, but you look like
you're like 19, with a fake ID.
Speaker 1 (10:19):
That's crazy, it's like.
Speaker 2 (10:20):
My brain is like do we talk about investing or like
doing Molly at Disneyland?
Speaker 1 (10:24):
That's crazy.
It's very confusing, becauseI've always been told I look
older than I am.
Speaker 2 (10:28):
Really yeah, that's surprising yeah.
Like ever since I've been like22.
Do you get carded?
Huh, like when you go out, doyou get carded?
I mean like Most of the time.
Speaker 1 (10:36):
I mean, yeah, like I, though, the very first time I
did turn 21 and like the veryfirst time I did go into a
restaurant to ask for a drink, Iwas so excited, I was like wow,
it's my moment to shine.
It's about time, and I didn'teven get id'd and so I was like
god damn it.
Speaker 2 (10:52):
You're like have it ready.
You're like, yeah, like I waslike 21.
Speaker 1 (10:55):
I was ready to like, reach into my purse, grab my
wallet and be like yeah, I gotmy id for you, but no, they
didn't ask so.
So people always guess I'm likelike mid to later 20s, like
maybe 25, 26.
No, I'm still 23.
Still a little young.
Speaker 2 (11:11):
What's the what's the oldest and the youngest you've
dated?
Speaker 1 (11:14):
Dated.
Speaker 2 (11:14):
In comparison to, like, your age at the time.
Speaker 1 (11:17):
Well, I mean again like the only person I really
dated was my ex.
Speaker 2 (11:20):
Or like situationship whatever.
Well, youngest, youngest, sameage as me, so like we were only
like two months apart, so likethat was the youngest oldest 28
28, that surprises me a littlebit why, so I I owned a company
in the modeling industry for adecade and there was something
(11:42):
that we would call hot guy phaseokay and it's like when a new
model would come into the agencyright 18, 19, 20 they'd always
be dating some young hot guy andthese guys were like clones of
each other, like they had thelittle tiktok hair like they
looked exactly the same, likecar, like carbon copies yeah
literally.
But whenever girls turn you know21, 22, 23 the most beautiful
(12:05):
girls in the agency would alwaysbe dating some like normal
looking dude right like maybedad bod yeah, yeah, if you put
on a brown shirt and likedropped off your ups package,
like you wouldn't be surprisedyeah like, okay, makes sense,
but the guys would always beextremely successful or
ambitious or confident andintelligent, usually older by
(12:28):
like eight to 10 years, justbecause that's what it takes.
And it was almost like they gotbored of the hot guys after a
while and they they wantedsomething with more substance.
Someone who's more of likeprovider type.
Speaker 1 (12:40):
Yeah, well, I mean, I feel like that's just natural
and biological.
Like when you're younger, it'sobviously like, even if you're
just in high school, it's allfor funsies.
You know you're not obviously ata point in your life where
you're being serious andthinking about, like, your
future and like an actual, likelegitimate sense.
And so I feel like once you hita certain age where just
everything becomes more real,you're also looking for someone
(13:01):
who's on the same page.
Also looking for someone who'son the same page, and typically
that guy just does end up beingolder, just because, like
scientifically, like women justmature faster than men.
And so I feel like having, likeyou see, a woman who's dating
an older dude, it's just becausematurity levels or seriousness
is just kind of on like the samewavelength at that point.
Speaker 2 (13:21):
I think too.
A lot of times what happens isis girls will date somebody in
like high school.
Let's say Right, and in highschool this guy was the cool guy
.
Maybe he's captain of thefootball team or he's in your
friend group or whatever, butthey aren't aware of like
outside of their circle becausethey're in high school and a lot
of times what happens is isgirls grow up and they're very
attractive and all of a sudden,like their kind of status is
(13:45):
like here because they'reattractive, and then the guy
they're dating now is like notthe cool kid anymore because
he's just like you know, he goesto college, he's not playing
football anymore yeah, he's justsome dude, yeah and then
there's people out there wherestatus in real life like once
high school and college is over,it's like usually success,
money or they're in the industryin some way and very high up
(14:06):
right, whereas at the beginningit's like status is like the
cool kid at school you know sowhat happens to a lot of girls
is I see them and they say, oh,I just felt like I outgrew my
boyfriend and I'm likewhat do you mean by outgrew?
And she's like I don't know,like they can't really explain
it, but that's what's kind ofhappening behind the scenes.
Speaker 1 (14:25):
Yeah, I think, like again, I think after you kind of
pass a certain point where,like, you're really starting to
focus on yourself and findingout, like wouldn't you?
And again that obviously justcomes like honestly, all of that
just really happens, like afteryou leave the school system,
like once you're actually out inlike real life.
Because even when you're incollege, you're still like on
(14:48):
the day-to-day, like the dailyroutine of like I'm going to
class, I'm gonna do homework.
You know it's still like school.
And so I feel like once youbreak out of that cycle and then
you actually start having tokind of do things for yourself,
that's when you really realizelike I guess people's like
actual intentions too, because,again, I think you also still
want to be with someone who'slike, who has serious goals,
(15:09):
like obviously in like along-term sense, and I feel like
, yeah, like obviously you canonly really see that once you
kind of leave the school system,see how people actually handle
real life versus just liketextbooks and papers and
whatever.
Because it says so much morewhen you actually see someone's
like capabilities versus justlike what grade they get or
whatever, because none of thatmatters at and whatever.
Because it says so much morewhen you actually see someone's
like capabilities versus justlike what grade they get or
whatever because none of thatmatters at the end anyways no, I
(15:31):
hot take.
Speaker 2 (15:32):
Uh well, the.
The moment I stopped living inschool was when I had a fat gym
teacher.
Speaker 1 (15:37):
I was just like this makes no sense I don't believe
anything y'all are sayinganymore, like you're telling me
to run a mile it's, maybe youshould like hit the, hit the, do
some pushups or something youknow.
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (15:49):
Well, what's, uh, what's your normal type?
Let's, let's go.
Speaker 1 (15:52):
looks first and then God, I don't even know.
I really don't know what mytype is Like.
Obviously, the guy I dated, hewas Asian.
Speaker 2 (16:00):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (16:01):
I'm Asian, Like my ex long-term like both Asian, and
I feel like even just growing up, I was kind of like, oh yeah,
only only asian guys.
You know, like whatever, ormaybe even like just like online
, just like not even like peoplein real life, but just like,
like on social media or whatever.
You see, like a white guy,because asian girls will never
be released from the shackles ofa white man.
But you know, I'll be like,okay, yeah, white man, like
(16:23):
they're too.
So it was always really justlike Asians and white men.
But then as I got older I thinkthis was even like during
college, maybe after college Iwas starting like I don't think
I like only Asians or only whiteguys, but I can't really say
what my type is either, though.
Because let's be honest, likeagain, I haven't like dated
(16:44):
anyone else, I see, because,let's be honest, like again I
haven't like dated anyone elseand so but yeah, you know, I
just, I like people does.
Speaker 2 (16:50):
That's such a generic answer I know well what about
height.
Does height matter to you?
Speaker 1 (16:55):
height somewhat.
I mean, I feel like, though,for me as someone I'm like five,
five, like five, four, five,five, which is a pretty average
girl height.
So like, I feel like majorityof the guys I meet naturally are
just taller than me.
Yeah, if I'm like 5'4", 5'5", Ifeel like some dude who's like
(17:16):
like 5'10", maybe 5'11" ortaller is pretty nice, it's
pretty ideal, I guess.
Speaker 2 (17:22):
Yeah, and height, yeah, the first fashion model I
dated was 5 11 oh yeah, so she'sthree inches shorter than me
but with heels it's like pretty,yeah, pretty on par and it was
actually funny.
So she said she always used todate like exclusively basketball
players, like nba players stufflike that and she said she got
fucked over so many times oneday she's like I don't care
(17:44):
about looks, height, all thisbullshit.
I just want personality yeah soshe's like zach.
Then I started dating this guywho's five eight, so with heels
she's like track towering overthe yeah right.
And she's like zach on thethird date.
She's like I had a coupleglasses of wine so I was like in
my feelings and she's like hecomes over, he opens the door
(18:06):
and she's like zach.
I gave him a hug, I picked himup and I spun him around short
king.
I watched his little legs flayand she was like in that moment
I lost all respect for him as ahuman.
She got the ick and I was likethat's your fault, but I
understand yeah.
I understand.
If I was a girl I would forsure want somebody taller than
(18:29):
me, just because I feel like itmakes a girl feel in her
feminine energy more.
Speaker 1 (18:34):
Yeah, I agree with that too.
I feel like just naturallyagain, it's probably all
scientific, it's all just my ownopinion but I feel like usually
, just height wise, I mean likeeven like when you see like
models out, for example, andthey're like 5'10", 5'11", like,
obviously there's like, I guess, a reason why, like the
requirements back in the daywere so strict on like 5'8 or
(18:57):
above Just because height, itjust like your presence becomes
so much more dominant becauseyou're like you're so tall, in
like a whole room of like peoplewho are maybe shorter than you,
like your presence is just somuch more visible to everyone.
And so it's like kind of apower dynamic.
And so I feel like, yeah, sosame with like how you said,
like femininity, masculinity, Ifeel like height it's kind of
(19:17):
like the same concept, it kindof plays into it like a dominant
thing.
Speaker 2 (19:26):
It is interesting because, like when I've dated
taller girls, my ego likes itbetter, like when I walk into a
room and everybody's like damnlike it, like pulls attention
yeah, but like I'm actually moreattracted to girls who are
shorter like what's your idealheight?
Speaker 1 (19:34):
because what you're?
Speaker 2 (19:35):
six, six two, six two probably around like probably
like five, six yeah but it's notthat big of a deal to be, yeah,
it's like, that's probably likeif I was like build a
girlfriend, fucking, I'd put allthe parts together yeah, yeah,
five, six yeah, somewhere aroundthere I mean, that's still a
pretty like also, I guess kindof a fairly average height for
(19:57):
women too yeah, yeah it's.
I don't have too many, too muchtrouble finding like girls in
that range, yeah, who are fivesix yeah yeah, what about uh?
Speaker 1 (20:04):
personality.
Oh yeah, I mean, personality iseverything but like what's?
Speaker 2 (20:08):
what kind of personality characteristics do
you look for?
Speaker 1 (20:11):
like obviously I want them to be respectful, care
about me, have goals in life,that's like the main thing.
I want you to have a goal inyour life, stick your ground,
just have like good intentions.
I mean again.
Just like don't be an asshole,treat service workers with
respect.
Speaker 2 (20:30):
Okay, I don't believe any girls who say this.
Girls always.
I like a guy who treats thewaiter well.
I'm like where are the guys whodon't treat waiters well?
I never have met a singleperson in my life that like
treats the waiter like shit.
Well, good, that's a good thing, do these people exist, like
girls always say I'm like, thisis the entire population.
Speaker 1 (20:50):
That's the thing.
Though a lot of it, I feel likepeople who don't treat wait
staff or just like serviceworkers.
Well, our people, it's like itgives like new money, energy,
you know but like, what do theydo to these service workers?
Speaker 2 (21:02):
like the waiter comes over, like just be, like a
karen or something I don't know.
Speaker 1 (21:06):
or if they're like on a date and they're trying to
like impress the girl, probablyjust like I don't know if
they're just so nervous, ifthey're giving like attitude
because they have like somefucked up personality like
fucking oh my god, what's itcalled?
Like an ego, like if they justhave a huge ego and if they're
like made of new money, they'relike oh yeah, I'm gonna like
spoil all this and like againyou treat service workers or
wait staff like they'reassistants but in like a
(21:28):
negative way, Like you don't saythank you and stuff like that
yeah stuff like that, like youknow, if you don't say thank you
and again, if you're just likestraight up disrespectful, it's
like you know, like I feel likethat's a big like either green
or red flag how they treatservice workers, like just how
(21:50):
you treat people in general.
Speaker 2 (21:51):
I need to meet some of these dudes, I want to yeah
luckily, I don't think luckily Ihaven't encountered anyone,
literally service workers likethat.
How many girls in the podcastwill say that?
Speaker 1 (21:53):
yeah, I like a guy who treats the service workers.
Speaker 2 (21:54):
I'm like that's everybody that's like the entire
population.
Like where are these?
Speaker 1 (21:58):
well, good thing they haven't met anyone who does
that, so that's good to hear, Iguess.
Speaker 2 (22:04):
What about?
It's interesting, you mentioneda guy who stands his ground.
So do you typically like guyswho are more masculine or more
like the?
Speaker 1 (22:14):
More like kind of feminine.
Yeah, like the pretty boys, Ithink more.
I think more masculine Becausein my should I bring it up yeah,
so in my last relationship thatI was with, I feel like a lot
of the times like he was a verygreat guy, so like no tino,
shade, but I feel like a lot ofthe times like I was more so the
(22:39):
one who was like in themasculine energy and so I feel
like I never really got thechance to just feel like like
feminine, pretty, like oh, likehead empty.
I'm just, you know, goingaround with my mans, like I feel
like I never really got to dothat and so I feel like, after
having left that relationship,that's kind of when I'm like,
yeah, I think I would prefer tobe more in my feminine energy
(23:01):
because I feel like just me,like independent, wise myself on
a day-to-day basis I can bevery much in like a more
masculine energy, but that'sbecause I think I'm just a Bay
Area girl.
We're just built different.
So what does?
Speaker 2 (23:14):
that mean, I feel like area girl.
Speaker 1 (23:16):
I don't know, like a lot of Bay Area girls I met were
all just like badass and cooland chill.
Speaker 2 (23:20):
I mean everyone in the.
Speaker 1 (23:21):
Bay Area just has like a chill vibe.
That's one thing I neverrealized until I've met people
out here, like when I came hereand I will tell them we would be
talking and they're like sowhere are you from?
And I say the bay area, andthey're like oh yeah, that makes
sense I'm like what does thatmean?
like I don't even I, so itwasn't me who said it, it was
other people who said it.
But like yeah, so I feel like,if I'm already in my masculine
(23:43):
energy, like majority of of thetime, it'd be nice to have to
like, not do that for once, beable to let my guard down a
little more and just, you know,be feminine be, a girly girl.
Speaker 2 (23:53):
It's interesting.
I think you have a a strongerself-awareness than a lot of
people, because what happens toa lot of girls and guys right
yeah.
Is society nowadays is isteaching all girls you have to
be boss, guys, right?
Yeah, Is society nowadays isteaching all girls you have to
be boss, bitch right?
Beyonce.
Every fucking TikTok video,like all movies, is like oh,
(24:15):
female empowerment right, whichI think is great.
Speaker 1 (24:18):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (24:18):
But at the same time it's like a lot of girls want
the boss bitch attitude, butthey don't want the boss bitch
responsibility.
They don't realize like bossbitch responsibility.
Speaker 1 (24:26):
They don't realize.
Like what do you mean?
Like responsibility, like?
Speaker 2 (24:29):
if you want to be a boss, that means work ethic.
It means you have to get a job.
It means you have to.
When it's 3 am and something inyour business is going wrong,
you're the one who fixes it.
You can't go.
Oh, supervisor, please, what doI do?
Help me with this.
It's like no, it rests, if youknow, like the fucking car
breaks down, like you.
You're getting out and fuckingfixing the tire.
(24:49):
You know what I mean.
And I also think that a lot ofgirls are naturally better in
the more feminine role, butthey've been like pushed that
they should be in the masculinerole, and now there's in this
middle ground where they're notreally dominant but they're
trying to be dominant.
So then guys who are reallydominant and want to take the
(25:11):
masculine role aren't reallycomfortable in relationships
because, they feel like they'rebutting heads yeah and then,
like the little simp guys, don'treally work because the girls
are naturally not taking reallythe masculine role.
And the simp guys watch threeandrew tate videos and they're
like I am the alpha.
Speaker 1 (25:28):
No, I'm like what are you the?
Speaker 2 (25:29):
alpha of the fucking wendy's like, are you?
Alpha the wendy's like get thefuck out of here, yeah no,
literally.
So now we're in this,relationships where gen z it's
like just nobody's doing shitand everybody's pretending like
they're the boss.
Speaker 1 (25:41):
But I think that's the problem with like, oh god,
it's gonna age me, but I swearlike it has a point but.
I feel like a lot of stuff insocial media has to do with it
because, again now, like the wayinformation is spread, like
through social media, it's justsuch a different platform and
way of engaging with content andengaging with like ideals and
ideas and like just differentmindsets.
(26:02):
And so I feel, how you said,for example, like the andrew
tate thing, it's like wordtravels so fast.
You watch a video and you'relike, oh, yeah, like, and you
see like comments from otherpeople who are like supporting
it, and you're like, oh, like,that should be me.
You know, like I, I agree withthat.
And so I feel like you have allthese videos talking about like
how to like do this, how to dothat, or how to like be this
(26:22):
person that you want to be, andthen people try and like they
just it's just trying too hard,you know.
And again, like you're watchinga video and again, like a lot of
like false information spreadsaround too, and so you're
watching a video, but you'retaking it at face value and
you're like, oh, but all thesepeople on social media, like
they said, it's true, they saidit worked for them, so it's got
to work for me.
(26:43):
And so you're taking all thesesteps without really
understanding what the fuck isactually going on.
And so, yeah, I mean like yeah,if you want to be like in your
feminine energy, if you want tofeel like a girly girl, that's
no problem.
But if, on some days, you wantto like, have such a more like,
a little more masculine leaningenergy, or you want to feel like
(27:03):
, like a boss ass bitch, you cando that too, but it doesn't
have to be on 24 7 you know likeit's okay to fall back every so
often and be like jk.
Speaker 2 (27:14):
I don't want that right now I think too, there
there's because, like on thewhole, like there's there's a
lot of hate, like on the guy'sside, toward toward like
feminism and girls, and some ofit is justified, I think, but
also a lot of it is just likethe men aren't taking the
masculine role, they're nottaking the lead, and so girls
(27:35):
are kind of forced into thatrole, yeah, and then the guys
get mad at them because they'relike, oh, I feel, emasculated.
They don't even really know whyyeah, yeah but it's like no,
because you have to man up andfucking take the role.
If you're not gonna take it,then somebody else is gonna take
it, because somebody has totake it.
Speaker 1 (27:48):
Yeah yeah, I mean, I think, like that's what I was
saying, like, especially goingback to talking about dating,
like that's why dating now isjust so complicated, because no
one knows what the fuck anyonewants.
And so, like that's when youjust start like butting heads,
like you have girls be like, oh,you don't like understand what
I mean.
And then guys are just likewell, I don't know what, like
(28:09):
the fuck, you want me to do?
Shit like that.
And there's no actual, likereal communication going on and
again, like no one's beingstraightforward, it's just like
a fucking world of questions andnothing's getting answered.
And then again, then you go tolike social media, you go to
tiktok, and you just like you'rescrolling through and you get
all this like like all thisfucking advice, advice or
whatever, and then you startrolling with it and then just
(28:29):
becomes more fucking complicatedbecause what they're saying is
not true, nothing makes fuckingsense.
Speaker 2 (28:33):
Like the things you see on tiktok aren't the
blueprint and it's just likeit's just random teens and young
adults in their bedroom withlike a fucking phone ring like
literally saying some shit andbeing like yeah, this is gonna
get some views you know, half ofit is just like they saw an
andrew tate video and they'relike oh, let me just say that
they're like they have no lifeexperience.
Speaker 1 (28:51):
They're like this shit's gonna fuck bro.
Like let me, let me.
Speaker 2 (28:53):
This gonna get the views or, like I used to at one
point, the algorithm keptfeeding me these like steve
harvey videos.
For some reason steve harvey,yeah, I don't know why and like
he was always giving this likerelationship advice.
I'm like dude's been divorcedlike two, three times.
I'm not listening to you foradvice.
Are you kidding me?
It's like kind of crazy.
Speaker 1 (29:10):
Yeah, yeah so I don't know, like with tiktok and
everything, I take everything atface value, like at this point,
all the like advice, likedating advice, whatever it's
given me at this point, it's alllike a fucking.
Take it like a grain of salt,because it's not like a
straightforward answer.
None of it makes sense I don'tknow, maybe I've just like given
up too.
But everything, I just takeeverything at face value now
(29:35):
I've been much more picky latelyin terms of intelligence of
what I look for like a girl andand not intelligence.
Speaker 2 (29:43):
Like you went to college, you read a bunch of
books yeah.
But like social intelligenceand someone who's just
interested in why people are theway they are yeah.
And just been like oh, thereason people act like this,
like psychology stuff, like that, is like so interesting to me,
empath, it's just You're anempath.
I don't know what I talked aboutin my 20s to girls.
(30:04):
I really am trying to rememberit because I'm like, what did I
talk about with half these girlsthat I like just wanted to hook
up with because I was in myvillain?
Speaker 1 (30:12):
yeah, yeah like what I talk about for four hours
while we're at fucking drinksit's just like, just like
waiting for the countdown, likewhen are we gonna get home?
No, that's what I'm saying.
Just how was your day?
Yeah, like how you feel thatdrink good, like you know.
You know, it's all justsuperficial questions.
Speaker 2 (30:26):
Very much.
Speaker 1 (30:27):
And it's like.
It's like, are you reallygetting to know someone or are
you just trying to not haveawkward silence?
Speaker 2 (30:32):
You know yeah.
Speaker 1 (30:33):
Like that's where it gets complicated Cause yeah.
Speaker 2 (30:36):
So what?
So you have a lot of standardsthat you look for in a guy,
right?
Speaker 1 (30:41):
And I think that's good.
Yeah, I think that's that'sthink that's good.
Speaker 2 (30:43):
Yeah, I think that's fair.
What do you bring to the tableto kind of match those standards
?
Speaker 1 (30:49):
I mean.
Speaker 2 (30:49):
Other than just being hot girl syndrome, you know.
Speaker 1 (30:51):
Hot girl syndrome.
Yeah, besides being undeniablyattractive, I also I don't know
I'm a great listener.
If you ever wanted to rantabout feelings or whatever I
feel like, you obviously can.
It doesn't matter how much weknow each other, how much we
don't.
If you just need someone to leanon and talk to you feel free,
uh, if you were to, I don't knowlike cook for me or whatever,
(31:16):
then I'll pay for theingredients.
You know like as something tokind of just like give back a
little and just, you know, justmake you feel appreciated or
respected.
And again, obviously, if youtreat me well, if you respect me
, I'll give you the same energyback pretty much.
If you give me energy, I'llgive you the same back.
(31:37):
Pretty much is what it is.
Speaker 2 (31:39):
Interesting yeah.
Speaker 1 (31:49):
What do you think about?
Does money play a role in termsof your level of attraction to
a guy, or success, ambition,that kind of thing?
I mean yeah, I'd say more soambition than money.
Like, obviously, because I'mone to talk, because if I'm here
in a creative field, lord knowsI am not making the most money,
so I would have some audacityto necessarily say that they
need a lot of money.
Speaker 2 (32:06):
I don't know if I agree with that.
Speaker 1 (32:08):
I mean yeah Well, I mean obviously like it'd be nice
if they had money, you know,but at the same time, like
obviously you know, don't bedirt poor, you know.
But, like you know, don't beliving in your car.
But, obviously like if you'renot like the richest person but
you are making money.
I can see you're working hard,you're out there actually trying
(32:30):
to achieve your goals.
And again, maybe I'm speakingfor people who work in the
creative industry, becauseobviously I do too, and just
most of the people again that Ihave met do work in that same
field.
Just because I'm not on datingapps, I just meet people through
gigs and like work and stuff.
Yeah, just organically for now.
And so obviously, obviously Ialready know it's like a tough
creative field and so obviously,if I can see you're like trying
your hardest, then I'm justlike, yeah, you know you still
(32:52):
have ambition, you have goals inmind and like the money may not
be now, but it's gonna come.
You know so.
And again, why you don'tbelieve me now?
Speaker 2 (33:03):
I think if you're dating a guy under the age of,
let's say, 25, I think that'sfair.
Speaker 1 (33:10):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (33:10):
Girls do fall often into the ambition trap, where
it's.
Speaker 1 (33:15):
And that could be my case, yeah.
Speaker 2 (33:17):
I have a Bitcoin app.
I'm totally about to getinvestors.
My cannabis company is about toblow up.
Speaker 1 (33:24):
Oh God, I don't even want to talk about crypto.
Speaker 2 (33:26):
And at some point it's like okay, if you're like
30 and you still haven't hadsomething become successful.
The chance of you becomingsuccessful is pretty low.
Speaker 1 (33:36):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (33:36):
And like what happened to the last 10 years.
Why aren't you?
Speaker 1 (33:39):
already making it.
And again, maybe I'm sayingthat now because I am still a
struggling creative, but I'malso only 23.
And so maybe, who knows, maybeI'll get my big break at some
point.
Speaker 2 (33:49):
But I don't think it's, and maybe this is the old
school side of me coming out.
I don't think it's aresponsibility to necessarily
have to be the the one bringingin the money for the
relationship.
Speaker 1 (33:59):
And I'm not mad at that.
I have, I wouldn't complainabout that, you know.
Speaker 2 (34:03):
I just think it's like every like people have
different roles, like, uh, Iremember I used to think, oh, I
want an entrepreneur yeah, girlfrom it's like I'm an
entrepreneur, so I want my girlto be an entrepreneur too, and
I've dated a coupleentrepreneurs and it never works
because it's like we're bothproviding the same thing in the
relationship and nobody'sproviding the other side, and
it's just like I don't reallyneed like more money, like yeah
(34:25):
okay, I got, I'm good with thataspect of it.
Speaker 1 (34:28):
Yeah, I'd rather have someone who's just very
feminine and like, very likeyeah caring and supportive and
like all these other things Imean, that's probably just
because you guys have like thesame personality and I again,
like I'm not necessarily anentrepreneur, but I can only
imagine if it's just constantlylike work, work, work, you know,
and you guys are just kind ofgoing on the same path, there's
never really a moment where oneof you can really just lean back
(34:49):
and just take it all in, youknow, because obviously and
again like could be differentcases for everyone.
But if again you both are kindof pursuing the same thing,
especially like entrepreneurship, I can only imagine that it's
probably exhausting.
And then again, if you guys aredoing like the same thing, it's
kind of like where is likethere's no way to really balance
each other out?
You know, because, for example,with my ex, like obviously I'm
(35:11):
a creative, but he had like astable job, like a normal job,
stable job, and so obviously itwasn't even just necessarily a
money thing, but at least insome ways we were able to just
balance each other out.
You know, there was some levelof stability there for me, yeah,
and so I feel like obviouslywith that then I was able to
(35:33):
kind of not necessarily take astep back, but just be like oh,
like yes, this could work out,like you know, like it kind of
fits together like a puzzlepiece.
Speaker 2 (35:38):
You have like a level of calm that you don't have to
be stressed about.
Am I going to get another gig?
Speaker 1 (35:46):
yeah, it's just like kind of like stable, yeah, and I
mean not necessarily again likeit's not like like we weren't
married, you know, and, ofcourse, like we're still, like
we were still very young, and soit's not like we were out here
in means of like, oh, he's goingto be providing for me and like
our future like it wasn't likeat that level or anything, but
still even just the stability oflike if I'm like home all the
time but he's out there likedoing his nine to five or
(36:08):
whatever you know, and then likecoming back home we can make
dinner.
There was still like a levelagain.
Like that level stabilitybecause it's not like if I'm out
there doing a gig, he's outthere doing a gig when the fuck
we're gonna see each other.
Because, like work in thecreative field, it's easily like
12 hour days.
You know, when I'm like, youknow just being on film sets or
just any doing any of thecreative work in general, it's
like long hours and so I feellike if we were both doing that,
(36:30):
it's like I'm not even.
I'm never gonna fucking see youlike ever again you know, or
just like actively hustling andagain like it's not like
everyone's case, but at least Ithink for me personally as
someone whose life at least likecareer-wise was so it was nice
to have someone be the completeopposite of that, where there
was more stability.
Speaker 2 (36:50):
So what happened to that relationship?
Speaker 1 (36:57):
I don't want to like say I don't know, I don't know
if he's going to watch this.
Speaker 2 (37:02):
You don't have to, it's up to you.
Yeah, if you don't?
Speaker 1 (37:04):
want to talk about it .
Yeah, no, I don't want to sayit public out loud, but anyways,
yeah, just like somethinghappened, I found something out
and then obviously that was whattriggered me to actually like
break up with him, I see, andthen I think again, like all the
stuff I've said even beforethis, it's like there that
incident was like the, theturning point where I was like
(37:27):
fuck this, like you know, we'rebreaking up, whatever yeah but I
think obviously then lookingback at it, it's not like it was
bad, like it was very much moregood than bad in the
relationship.
But I think again, like howwe're talking about like like
the masculine versus likefeminine energies, like how in
some cases I never like had tobe more feminine, and just like
other like dynamics in ourrelationship, it was kind of
like I think this is probablyjust for the like, this is for
(37:50):
the best for us right now andagain, like, obviously, if it's
meant to be, then we'll findeach other again at some point,
but for now I think it'sprobably best that we just take
our own paths as, like youngadults turning into adults you
know, so yeah.
Speaker 2 (38:06):
I think it's very healthy to go through a villain
era at some point in your life.
Speaker 1 (38:09):
I think you figure out what you want.
Speaker 2 (38:10):
You figure out what you don't want.
That part, that is true.
You discover yourself, yeah.
Speaker 1 (38:14):
I agree with that.
I mean, I feel like I'vediscovered a lot more about
myself ever since we've endedthings.
And again like I feel like, ifI God forbid.
If again, like I feel like if Igod forbid if I had to like end
the long-term relationship, atleast, was.
Now, at this age where i'm-still like 23 I'm still young.
Speaker 2 (38:30):
Yeah, I'm not here in la and, like you said, like
let's say, you go out on thedating scene, you figure out
what you want and you're like,yeah, actually that was the best
relationship for me.
Speaker 1 (38:37):
You can always go back.
Yeah, it could always.
Speaker 2 (38:39):
Or maybe you find out , hey, this actually isn't the
right fit.
And then I can find somethingelse.
Speaker 1 (38:43):
Yeah, and again because, like, when we got
together, we were so young andso obviously it's just like all
you ever really knew.
And so again, now that we'reboth just out here, who knows,
maybe both of us will findsomething that just ends up
working better for us and likeit is what it is.
And yeah because, again, likewhen we got together, we were
super young, you don't reallyknow what you want, but we had
(39:03):
kind of just I mean, we did likestick together, so it was very
serious yeah, yeah, but thenagain, like now I'm 23 and plus,
like we were only dating, likegod forbid.
I've had friends who I've beenlike engaged or like married,
and then they've either gonethrough, like you know, they
break the engagement or, likethey do, they straight up
divorce and it's like okay, well, at least I wasn't at that
(39:24):
stage yet where you know thathad to fucking, I had to deal
with all that.
Speaker 2 (39:27):
But you know, just a breakup, especially if there's
like kids and shit.
Yeah, yeah, are you, are you?
What do you think aboutmarriage, kids, that whole thing
?
Do you think eventually that'sgoing to be a path, or do you
think?
Speaker 1 (39:36):
I mean the marriage, probably, yeah, in terms of kids
, like I, at least for now, likeat my age, I've never, ever
really felt like I wanted kidsand like, yeah, I don't know.
I've just never had like themoment where at some point, like
(39:56):
every girl's like, oh my god,look at that baby is so cute,
like I want one, so bad I'venever had that yeah I was like
like the minute that shit openshis mouth, I'm like oh, jk, like
.
But even in general I've neverlooked at a baby and was like I
can't wait for one of my own,like I've never had that phase
happen to me and so, yeah, Imean at the moment I don't want
kids, like, god forbid, if Isomehow got pregnant I'm gonna
(40:19):
rip that shit out I don't wantit.
I don't want it right now, sobut who knows if, in the future,
if I'm gonna want one, but fornow, at my 23 years of living, I
have never wanted a child.
Speaker 2 (40:30):
I'm very skeptical of marriage and kids, because so
I'm from Wisconsin yeah.
Wisconsin.
It's like whoever you're datingwhen you finish high school or
you finish college, you justmarry them.
You have two to three kids yeahyou work at the same factory
your dad worked at for 40 yearsand you hope to God there's some
social security left, likethat's your life for, like most
Wisconsin people, and last timeI went back and like visited you
(40:54):
know I'm talking to my friendsA lot of them are married, Most
of them are married, and they'relike you know, Zach, when are
you going to get married?
You're missing out, You'regoing to miss the boat, blah,
blah, blah.
And then later in theconversation I'm like what's
your like perfect day?
What's your ideal day?
And like one guy's like yeah,and all their stories were kind
of like this.
It's like yeah, you know, mywife's mom takes the kids, my
(41:16):
wife hangs out with hergirlfriends, I have the boys
over, we play poker, watch thegame, have some beers, and I'm
like that's your best day.
Speaker 1 (41:24):
I can do that every day of my life and that's like
your greatest existence.
Speaker 2 (41:28):
That just sounds like a day to me.
So that's why I'm likeskeptical when people are and I
get it.
Kids are probably rewarding andthings like that.
I wouldn't doubt that maybethere will become a point in my
life where I'm like, okay, it'stime.
But I'm also like when peoplesay, oh yeah.
When I look into my son's eyesin the morning I'm like it just
sounds fake to me it sounds likethey're saying words that, like
(41:50):
they're supposed to say, likewas that like a?
Speaker 1 (41:52):
movie script, or something.
Speaker 2 (41:53):
Literally it feels like it's a movie script.
Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (41:58):
I've never.
That's the thing I've seen.
There was actually just thisone TikTok that popped up not
too long ago and it was likeprobably like a family tiktok or
whatever, like the mom, and itwas just like welcome to like a
day in our life.
You know what we do, and it'slike the husband, wife and I
think they have like three, foursons, like two of them are more
like like like kids, like maybelike 10, 11 or something yeah
(42:20):
and then the other two are likea bit younger, like probably
like younger children, yeah.
And then it was like and themom's like so I wake up at 7 am,
you know, I make breakfast forall of them, and then they wake
up at 8 am and then they go tohockey prep.
My husband takes them to hockeypractice.
Then at 9 am I go wake up myyounger sons wake them up.
Then I put in the laundry, thenI was and I was like girl, your
(42:40):
day is like sounds like it's 48hours long I was like, oh my,
oh, my God, like it was crazy.
She's like then at like 10 PM,you know, go to the gym.
I was like you have time fornothing else.
And again, maybe that was justlike a very filled day, like
I've had to take their kids tohockey or whatever, but like
every time I see TikToks, likethat of like you know what we do
(43:07):
as like a family in a day, muchtime, like who has that much
commitment, who has that muchenergy yeah, because let alone
like already 10 am, wake up yourkids.
I would be tired by then.
Oh, you're a late riser.
Yeah, like, well, I mean, Iwake up around like.
Yeah, I wake up around 10 okay,but it's like, imagine if every
day it's like this crazyschedule of like waking the kids
, or like if, like two sets ofkids essentially one of them
goes to hockey, then the othersare just still at home you have
to do stuff with them later.
She's like, you know, I tellthem like we'll go watch a movie
(43:27):
, then I'll go pour the snacks,and after that we all go on like
a family walk, and then we comehome and I'm just like, like,
again.
Like if that's what you want inyour life, you know that kind
of like family stuff, go for it.
It's good.
But again that day I'm likeyour days are 48 hours long.
When do you have enough timefor?
Like you and yourself, you know.
And again, like you have themindset like if your kids are
(43:49):
your whole world and like youwant to treat them.
God, like, by all means.
It looked like a great day likeif I were those kids, I'd
probably be having a fantastictime, but like as like the mom
or the parent, that shit looksdraining that looked draining.
Oh my god, again like 48 hourdays gotta be selfish at some
point that's what.
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
Speaker 2 (44:07):
I'm still on that, that mindset I'm like, I'm ready
to be selfish no same.
Speaker 1 (44:10):
I was like, let me, let me treat myself a little bit
longer, let me indulge in my,in what I want how was the uh?
Speaker 2 (44:18):
have you experienced at all the sugar daddy scene?
Have you got any proposals?
Have you have friends who havedone it?
Have you you done it?
Speaker 1 (44:25):
I have not actually.
I don't think I know anyone whodoes it.
Well, I guess he's notnecessarily a sugar daddy, but
he is just this dude I had metat this one mixer event.
I don't know if it was really abusiness event or what.
(44:46):
But then every so oftenrandomly'll just like text me or
dm me about like events thathe's going to.
Because he goes to like thesehigh profile events, like if
it's like movie premieres orlike big business mixers, like
just high profile places andevents.
And then, like there was onepoint, I was like I had just
posted on my instagram storylike a picture of like food or
(45:06):
whatever, and then he wasbasically just the energy of
like, ooh, like, would I takeyou to this place or this place?
And it was like higher end likeplaces versus where I was
eating and I was like, well,that is giving sugar daddy
energy, kind of, but that's asfar as it went.
I've never never, done anything.
Speaker 2 (45:24):
It's interesting you say that yeah.
Speaker 1 (45:25):
So I've never, never done anything.
Speaker 2 (45:26):
It's interesting you say that, yeah, so so I got
accused of being a sugar daddyone time.
Speaker 1 (45:28):
I've never done the sugar daddy, oh, but you got
accused.
Speaker 2 (45:31):
So I grew up very chivalrous my dad's very old
school.
Speaker 1 (45:34):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (45:34):
Take a girl on a date You're paying for it yeah, you
know walking on the sidewalk.
It's like I'm walking on likethe roadside.
Yeah, stop the girl, you know,protect my girl.
Yeah, like um in twilight, intwilight.
Yeah, just unless it's like ag-wagon, then it's like use the
girl as a human shield, protectmyself for the g-wagon yeah and
then you know, rescue with cpr.
Not all heroes wear capes.
Speaker 1 (45:54):
You know, yeah, but yeah, you still.
Yeah, save yourself first.
Yeah, like the airplane, putthe oxygen.
Yeah, airplane, like on youbefore the child yeah, very
heroic, yeah, I agree.
Speaker 2 (46:01):
So when I travel, right, and I like to travel a
lot, so if I take the girl toeurope, australia, asia,
whatever, like I'm paying forthe trip, like like I would feel
weird.
Like, hey, babe, did you getthe venmo request for the 87 for
?
The airbnb like it would feelweird to me to do that.
Speaker 1 (46:21):
I would feel like less of a man kind of you know I
mean like obviously, especiallyif you're the one who was, like
, initiating yeah, yeah, whichusually I am yeah yeah.
Speaker 2 (46:30):
So one of my friends is like she's like the queen of
the sugar or sugar babies.
She's like has like all theinfinity stones of like this guy
buys an entrepreneur, femaleentrepreneur she needs like a
secretary to manage.
Yeah, literally, yeah, and infront of all my friends.
She's like zach.
You know you're a sugar daddyand I'm like what do you mean?
And she's like zach.
(46:50):
Every guy pays for girls insome way.
Maybe it's drinks, maybe it'sdinner maybe it's trips, bags,
whatever she's like.
All y'all are sugar daddies.
You're just either high classsugar daddies or low class yeah
and I was like I didn't havelike a good comeback at the time
.
I was like you're kind of right, she kind of cooked there, she
(47:11):
kind of cooked, and I didn'tthink of my response to like
later in the shower you know,you think of the argument, and
so I was mad because she kind ofoutsmarted me at the time, you
know.
But to me it's more about likeintent.
It's like okay, if I'm taking agirl on a trip, it's a girl
that I'm already dating, we'realready vibing.
It's not like oh, please, likeme, I'll take you on this trip
(47:33):
if you like me yeah, yeah, yeah,different intention, different
intention and like I think girlsshould care about money to some
extent in a relationship,because it's like you want to
fly middle seat on spirit therest of your life.
Speaker 1 (47:45):
It's like you want to look at your plane tickets like
seat 73 f and you're like well,I mean, that's what I'm saying.
If girls want to find aprovider, find a provider.
Yeah, you know, I feel likeit's just one of the aspects
like again, like the wholefeminine energy thing, like you
just want to feel treated like aprincess, you want to feel
pretty and then, obviously,especially in this day and age
and at here in LA, that justscreams like money because
(48:07):
everything's so fuckingexpensive nowadays.
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (48:10):
I got to argue with my mom the other day because
she's like you know, zach,you're in LA, you're always
dating like models and actresses, like you should date a nice
girl from church with a goodpersonality.
And I remember thinking and Iwas like all right, mom, so do
you want me to date uglier girls?
She's like no, not ugly, justlike focus on personality.
Speaker 1 (48:31):
It's like the girl, the girl next door.
You know you never see hercoming.
Speaker 2 (48:34):
Yeah, and I'm like okay, mom, does there exist
beautiful girls with goodpersonalities?
Oh well, of course.
Okay, so if I have the choicebetween like a beautiful girl
with a good personality or likean ugly girl with a good
personality, like of course I'mgoing to choose the beautiful
girl who also has a goodpersonality.
And I think for girls it's like, yeah, like if you have like a
rich guy with a greatpersonality or like a broke dude
(48:55):
with a great personality, yeahit's like, yeah, of course
you're going to choose the moresuccessful guy yeah it's just
two plus two equals four.
It's like, almost like it's likestatistics you know, it's just,
it's like a checklist, yeahit's like pemdos, you know, it's
a checklist yeah, yeah ofeverything, yeah of everything.
How?
How have you found uh makingfriends in la?
What's your circle like?
(49:16):
Do you have like a best friend?
Speaker 1 (49:18):
well, so my closest, closest friends are all from
back home, I see, um, obviously,but then out here pretty much
all the friends I have made.
Actually, like, I still talk toa lot of my girls who I met in
college, because in general so,in college I was a dance major
okay and so in general, thatthat class, that circle was very
, very small.
There was only like so many ofus like probably only like 30 of
(49:42):
us total.
So, obviously, like with thatlevel of intimacy in classes you
get to you you just naturallymake friends with the people
that you're taking these classeswith.
And so, yeah, some of my greatfriends who I've seen often yeah
, they were like from collegebasically, I see, and then in
terms, I mean there's also stillpeople I talk to that again
(50:03):
like I've met organically, likeon sets and like gigs and things
like that.
Um, because I mean, naturally,every time I've been on sets,
after you start talking tosomeone, it's like what's your
Instagram?
yeah, and so you just likeexchange Instagrams, then if you
all clicked to some degree, youwould just, you know, like,
like, give them like if theypost a cute Instagram story, you
like hype them up.
You know shit like that.
But I'd say, yeah, closestfriends are from home, close
(50:25):
friends from college, and thenobviously I've had, like I've
met great people on sets,honestly, like, no doubt, no
doubt do you party a lot yeah,okay, yeah, kind of every so
often.
Well, again, that's how we havethe mutual yeah, our mutual
instagram followers.
Yeah, yeah, it's from that scenewe only have a couple.
Speaker 2 (50:44):
Normally, when I meet a girl, it's like we have like
20 and I'm like that's a redlike jesus christ like whenever
people have too many mutualswith me, I'm like, just because
I was in the scene so long, yeah, doing fuck boy shit, that I'm
like if we have a lot of mutualstogether because, because I was
being a fuck boy, I was likethat's a red flag you definitely
have been around the scene alittle bit.
Oh god yeah funny, but it'swhat it is.
Speaker 1 (51:05):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (51:05):
All right, we're about out of time.
I got some rapid fire questionsfor you.
Speaker 1 (51:09):
Okay, throw them at me.
Speaker 2 (51:11):
Favorite food.
Speaker 1 (51:13):
Favorite food.
It always switches betweenKorean barbecue, sushi or pasta.
Speaker 2 (51:18):
Interesting.
Yeah, have you been to Gayukaku?
It's actually Japanese barbecue.
Speaker 1 (51:23):
I've heard of it.
Yeah, I don't think.
I don't think I've ever been tothat one, though, but I've been
to Japanese barbecue before.
Just actually recently went toJapan not too long ago.
Speaker 2 (51:31):
Oh, nice A month ago.
Speaker 1 (51:32):
It's very nice there.
I bet it's very nice yeah.
Speaker 2 (51:34):
Korean barbecue is always like when I'm with the
boys, because we all eat a lot.
Speaker 1 (51:41):
Yeah, you need a big group of people.
Yeah favorite candy candy couldI say ice cream, or is that
more dessert?
No, that works yeah I'm icecream I like mint, chocolate
chip ice cream.
Speaker 2 (51:53):
I know that's somewhat controversial it is
very good, but I do like mintchocolate ice cream anymore you
know it's okay.
Speaker 1 (51:58):
Well, it was nice knowing you while it lasted uh
favorite first date spot oractivity.
Hmm, fuck, is it cliche to sayprobably the fucking bar or a
club.
Speaker 2 (52:10):
I think drinks is one of my favorite things.
That's what I'm saying.
It's just the easiest, itloosens you up.
That's what I'm saying.
You can actually talk to get toknow each other.
Not like a movie where you'relike sitting there.
Speaker 1 (52:19):
And then also you have the drinks in you, so you
don't feel as nervous feel asnervous yeah, you know you kind
of have something to do, yeahit's not as like interview style
, as like dinner.
Speaker 2 (52:30):
Yeah, whenever it's, uh, whenever you like a movie,
I'm just like you sit there forlike three hours you don't get
to talk to each other you justget out like well, what did you
think?
Speaker 1 (52:37):
like it's the fuck, it's like so fucking late, plus
I feel like the whole point ofthe date is, if you want to ask
each other questions or get toknow each other, yeah, a movie.
You can't do that unless you'relike gonna go watch movie and
then like go to a dinner orsomething.
Then you can like at least talkabout the movie in case you
have nothing else to talk aboutyeah, so maybe that helps but if
it's just the movie, that'stough that is tough.
Speaker 2 (52:56):
That is tough, uh.
Next travel destination youhaven't been to, that you want
to go to?
I've never been to europe.
Speaker 1 (53:01):
Really never been to europe, yeah, any of the never
been to any Really Never been toEurope.
Yeah, Any of the never been toany Europe, European countries.
Speaker 2 (53:07):
Italy and Greece are the best.
Yeah, I'm assuming you have, orlike Eastern Europe is really
fun too.
Eastern Okay, I've been a fewtimes yeah.
Speaker 1 (53:14):
I've had a friend who went recently.
My mom's actually going in likea couple months.
So I think, overrated, I thinkthat's pretty fair.
Manchester, london, they're fun.
A little overrated, but yeah,like south.
Okay, I'll keep that in mindfor when I do go eventually.
Yeah, yeah, which will happen,it's not yet all right.
Speaker 2 (53:34):
Well, this has been fun.
Uh, what's your?
Where can people find you?
Any instagram shout out,anything like that uh, yeah, uh.
Speaker 1 (53:40):
My instagram handle is oh fuck, it's
t-v-l-e-r-l-a-v-v.
It's my name, but my normalname was fucking taken, so I had
to replace the y and tyler withthe v and then the w in law
with two v's.
You're very creative I know Iwas kind of proud of myself,
though, when I created that one,and it wasn't taken I was
(54:01):
pretty fucking proud of myself.
I I think my TikTok is the samehandle, except I use Instagram
more than TikTok.
Speaker 2 (54:08):
So yeah, All right.
Well, this has been fun.
We'll have to do round twosometime.
Speaker 1 (54:12):
I'm down, yeah no-transcript.
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