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May 21, 2025 29 mins

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THE PERFORMANCE OF PAIN: Visual Vulnerability or Victim Mindset?

This one cuts deep.

What if the loudest cry isn’t from the person hurting most, but from the one holding the room hostage?

In this powerful and provocative episode of Uncharted, I, Lisa N Edwards, explore a truth many of us have felt but couldn’t quite name: not all vulnerability is real. Some of it is theatre. Some of it is control dressed as pain.

We dive into the subtle but life-changing difference between authentic vulnerability and performative pain — and how it plays out in relationships, friendships, and our own self-worth.

💥 I’ll unpack:

  • A real-life moment when my friend walked into the gym in a cast… and suddenly, strangers saw him.
  • Why do people respond more to visible pain than invisible strength?
  • How covert narcissists weaponise victimhood.
  • The Drama Triangle — and how we all unknowingly get pulled into roles like Victim, Rescuer, and Persecutor.
  • Why fawning (the trauma response where we over-care and self-abandon) is one of the most dangerous patterns women fall into — and how to get out of it.
  • How some people use stories of suffering to gain sympathy while avoiding any real accountability.
  • What does it really mean to love someone who lives in emotional avoidance?
  • The moment I realised I couldn’t carry two hearts through one healing process.

If you’ve ever felt like you were doing all the emotional work… if you’ve ever found yourself performing your pain just to be believed… if you’ve ever mistaken chaos for depth, or silence for peace — this one’s for you.

We talk real healing, nervous system responses, boundaries, and the gut-punching truth that some people don’t want to grow — they want to be rescued.

But you? You’re not here for the performance. You’re here for freedom.

This episode is your permission slip to:

  • Stop explaining
  • Stop defending
  • Stop bleeding for stories that don’t deserve a sequel
     And start rising. Quietly. Clearly. Without apology.

We finish with a hard reset:
 🔥 If someone from your past wants a seat at your table, they need to come healed, not holding the same pain that once cost you your peace.

This isn’t revenge. This is ra elease.

And if you want to see what I built from that clarity, check out CoinRunnersMovie.com. It’s not just a film, it’s a reclamation of my story.

This is not a soft episode. This is the mirror.

If it lands, tag me. Share it with someone in a cycle. Let’s stop calling pain connection when it’s actually control.

Because love isn’t meant to feel like survival.
And your worth isn’t something you prove.
It’s something you remember.

You are not too much. You are not broken. You are not alone. You are a woman rising, not in spite of your pain, but because of it.

I’m Lisa N Edwards, and this is Uncharted.
Until next time, keep choosing yourself. Always.

FIND LISA N EDWARDS & MORE:
LinkTree:
https://linktr.ee/LisaNEdwards
Lisa's Website: https://lisanedwards.com/
Getting Started In Crypto: https://gettingstartedincrypto.com/paid-signals/ref/2001/?campaign=Podcast

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